yesterday my boyfriend asked me to write down all my symptoms so he can help me with making a doctor's appointment

I never realized HOW MANY health issues I have, because I'm so used to feeling bad and being in pain lol

I finally got the energy to make an appointment and it's tomorrow (I got very lucky)! I hope my doctor is a good doctor and will actually listen to me (｡ﾉω＼｡)

I haven't seen a doctor in months and I need to see a LOT of different doctors this is gonna be hard and also embarrassing

Currently trying to twist my spine like one does to a wet rag

The amount of unfinished clone fics in my drafts scare me...

My mom: be ocd about your life

me: okay *starts poking corners, stepping on corners of sidewalks, poking ends of sticks*

my mom: no not like that

looking at all my tumblr posts and wondering if maybe I'm like a little slightly mentally ill like...

you bring colour into my life. like literally. like i genuinely see more colour when i’m around you. send help

Thinking about the time I made my friend freak out because I told them I felt like I had pop rocks in my joints

You answered others questions and you mentioned it.

I must have a worse memory than i thought, cause i dont remember.

cw: menstruation

menstrual cycle be going crazy it's my nineteenth day bleeding lol

so uh got a very healthy 3 hours of sleep 🤩 probably had a very low amount for this entire week overall, but I mean I stayed up until 6 every day in the fifth grade soooo I'm used to it

TFW you're like...super sick, but get just better enough that you think you could maybe do a half-day of work tomorrow, because you're out of PTO due to a big mental health crisis earlier in the year, and then your bod's like, "Cool, cool...but what if you coughed so hard and so frequently it felt like your lungs were going to explode, despite having taken some prescription strength anti-coughing medicine, and you got like...3 hours of sleep before you had to get up and walk around and make some tea and hope the coughing stops before you tear a goddamn hole in your lung? Wouldn't that be fun? Let's give that a whirl!"

Fuck this shit. Fuck everything about it. It's three in the goddamn morning and I can't fucking sleep, and I'm in fucking pain, and I'm starting to get hangry, and I'm 'bout to make a butter sandwich to go with my tea and just...I don't even know. I don't fucking know.

super interesting that this ten is going to (presumably) have the memories of eleven, twelve, and thirteen. he’s going to remember all of those companions entrances and exits, missy and the master, and all of those adventures. it's just so cool to think about like. in the eyes of the tenth doctor how do those memories look? and with those memories, how 'tenth doctor' is he actually? how much of him is the same and how much is different because unfortunately, rtd is right. he is the fourteenth doctor. in the eyes of dw, memories are what make a person, so what do we have if there are added memories, added lifetimes? what do these memories change?

I've been noticing that, in like fic and analysis and stuff, sometimes people paint yaz as an adrenaline junkie who loves travelling with the doctor for the thrill and danger of it, and that she will throw caution to the wind or take risky gambles for the rush of it paying off. I don't 100% agree with that interpretation of her, but I think I know why it happens.

Number one: she's very much a mirror to the doctor, and the doctor is often painted as an adrenaline junkie who can't stand boringness and is sorta hooked to the danger of her lifestyle (which, yeah, she is, especially 13 with her tendency to taunt villains)

And number two: the other big doctor mirror, Clara, was 100% painted as an adrenaline junkie who gambled with her own life (and lost). And it's easy to portray yaz similarly, because they go through similar (but very different) arcs of becoming more doctor like.

Imo Yaz is much more into the travelling and saving the day for the responsibility of it all, for feeling useful and capable and good. Her complaining about not having more interesting jobs as a cop wasn't her wanting more danger, it was her wanting more responsibility, she wanted to be important and helpful (that's the entire reason she became a cop, to help people like she was helped). And that's reflected in her arc, what she wants out of travelling with the doctor and what she gets out of becoming The Doctor. She learns to fly the TARDIS, she becomes capable and confident, able to hold her own in the past and lead her own companions. and in the end she rescues the Doctor herself with a plan SHE came up with, and she can help bystanders too (I love the blink and you'll miss it moment in potd where she's helping injured people on the space train).

To bring back the Clara parallel, because I like looking at our two big "become the doctor" arcs next to each other. Clara also got what she wanted/idolized in The Doctor out of her arc, she got the bravery and the boldness, and the ability to bluff and cheat and gamble. And the rush of the freedom of time travel. But I don't think she ever learned how to fly the doctors tardis, because that wasn't what she needed.

Tbh I think their different approaches to being/travelling with The Doctor can be summarized with Clara's "I do have a hobby, it's you by the way" vs yaz introducing herself via her title to dan and vinder (former pc with hallamshire police)

To Clara it's a game, a hobby, a thrilling way to live. To yaz its a calling, a profession, a life's mission. (Although, she definitely has issues with losing herself in that job at her mental/physical expense. Ex: her self neglect over that ten months trying to learn how to use the TARDIS and save the doctor )