#i should eat so the doctors dont win
Text
Not being able to eat in a doctors waiting room feels like a ploy to reduce patients via starvation
#doctors waiting room#doctors#death via irony#food#im kinda hungry#i should eat so the doctors dont win#an apple a day keeps the doctor away#TWO apples a day keeps them angry and in a job
1 note
·
View note
Text
HRT that turns you into a leopard gecko:
immediate results: start to feel colder all the time
2-4 weeks: skin itches a lot, vegetables start to churn your stomach, mucous membranes like your eyes and mouth feel drier
3-6 months: skin starts to flake off in noticeable dandruff-like patches all over your body. you should start using an oil based moisturizer since the water based ones just dont do the trick anymore. You should also start transitioning your diet to insectivore. your coccyx hurts when you sit for too long.
6-9 months: a nub of a cartilage tail starts to work it's way out of your lower back. the skin it creates is smooth and doesn't look like scarring at all. it even has some spots on it. you've started noticing freckles here and there. Your eyes are also looking different, rounder and muted color.
12 months: your doctor offers genetic testing to approximate what morph you will be, since human phenotypes aren't a 100% accurate at predicting it. You decline, you want to be surprised. You've reached a point where you can't hide it anymore if you wanted to. Your hair is falling out all over now. Your skin peels off in patches like a sunburn, and every new layer is yellow or orange and some have spots. Your teeth sit weird in your mouth and feel smaller. Your tail is about a foot long now, it has a long way to grow. You mostly cook with cricket flour or eat premixed meals since you're not fully on board with eating half your weight in straight up bugs yet, but you're relieved roaches don't freak you out anymore. They just make you hungry.
18 months: your eyes are visibly spaced further apart, and your nose is starting to flatten out. you know your face won't look 100% like you want it to, the hormones can only do so much, but you already look positively reptilian. you shaved your head to help the hair finish up, and are surprised you don't miss it. your fingers feel less nimble now, and you have to wear braces to get anything done during the day. your claws take nail polish just fine. You pick up a new space heater at the store even though it's only August.
2 years: Your skin has evened out and mostly sheds all at once now. You think you're a tangerine carrot tail, judging by how yellow and spotted your body is, but orange and white your tail is. You're comfortably at a point where people stop asking "so what are you? a lizard?" as soon as they see how fat your tail is. your dating profile pics have a little too much tongue in them.
6 years+: some surgery helped fix some of the last little snags, tucking all your bottom bits into a neat vent, and finishing the shaping on your face. You don't even scar from them either, a win-win. Your partner is now used to running you a steaming shower whenever they see you rubbing your back on the corner of a wall. They're also good at judging your diet a bit too closely thanks to your squishy fat tail. When your work got too busy for a month and you lived off tea and handfuls of grasshopper granola, they could tell you weren't yourself as your tail thinned and drooped. They scheduled some time off so the two of you could go to the desert. It's so warm, even at night, this time of year, and you can see all the stars. They didn't want to kiss you after you ate a scorpion off the floor, but it was all worth it because you felt recharged, refreshed, and at home in your gecko body again.
---
just in case I never get around to drawing this I wanted to at least write it lol
#badger rants#badgerwrites#? idk i dont post writing much anymore#but i cant stop thinking about hrt that turns you into a furry. sorry i think gradual#transitions aare compelling and cool as hell. im transgender what do you want from me
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe the max amounts of ibuprofen should become a budget. and not in the way i manage my money as a poor person which is a maximum where i get a bigger price the further i stay under it but more as a. "amount of healing potions per month that will refill next month. pls use as many as you need"
evil doctors seem to already think that i use painkillers like this so why not. there's no price for abstaining. no worse consecuence for taking a little more. i can only win: a slightly less painful life.
(the truth is i ration it because i know 3 days in a row is a max and if i don't urgently need it today i might ruin my day in 3 days ahead of time if i take one now. but maybe that's not how pain works, it's not like with food where i will need x amount each day and if i eat more today the end of the week will put me in trouble. presumably pain causes more pain. then again i am in pain every single day regardless and i dont think more ibu will make a serious dent. idk...)
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
I feel like living with an eating disorder is super fucking horrid. I'm not even diagnosed, my doctor said that they suspect that i have one but i should be in touch if the disordered eating continues. That was last december.. Well i havent been in touch. Why? Cause im not bad enough in my head. I have this horrid tought in my head of having to get so incredibly sick that no one wants to touch me.. so no one can abuse me again. I have some periods of 'regular' eating when i try to recover but then i just relapse again and again. Its a constant battle and i jut cant win. Ive had this for over 10yrs now and everyday is a struggle and evey day i think about what i can and cant eat. Its also some need of control. I feel like my head is a mess so i have to control something and the only thing i know how to control is my eating. Always has been. And i dont know how to get help. Or does anyone even help me cause i dont "look sick enough". Continuing to fight the battle even tho im in the deepest dump right now.. What i want to say is if you're battling with same sort of issues, youre not alone. And if you just lately have started to feel like there might be something disordered in your eating habits, pls talk to someone, anyone who feels safe enough <3
.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
yellowjackets S2E6 lb
do babies get fucked up in utero if their mom is 1) starving all the time and 2) a cannibal?
in my public school they apparently used to show a horrific pregnancy video that was meant to ward kids off from having sex but instead of us getting to see it we got to take care of a baby doll that cried all the time and it fucking sucked
misty threatening to report lottie to the IRS is so funny <3
let's play the game of "will they remember not to talk to the cops and only say I WANT MY LAWYER" (im betting they wont)
"i didnt drag callie into anything" YOU LITERALLY CONFESSED TO MURDERING THE MAN YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH TO YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER SHAUNA IT IS IN FACT YOUR FAULT! fail family for the win <3
"it honestly would have been better if you had just had sex with him" SHAUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JFFJDSKFJDKFDSFKDHDSJFH SHES FUCKING CRAZY
the girls are panicking in the wake of the birth yes CHAOS YESSSSSSSSSSS
LISA MY GIRL LISA depressed girls stick together<3
natalie finally opening up lets gooooooo
"maybe we did it to survive but i dont think we deserve to" YEEHAW
doing cult shit in a fit of desperation which will result in the cementing of the cult mentality OR permanently fracture the group. or something idk
saint charlotte of new jersey up and attem
rip coach being stuck in a cabin with cannibals as he slowly wastes away while one of his students is giving birth and he cannot do anything
WHAT THE FUCK JUST CAME OUT OF SHAUNA
helluva time for misty to have a breaking point btw
WHAT THE FUCK CAME OUT OF SHAUNA I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
my ass is NEVER giving birth my pelvic bone hurts just watching this FUCK that i will get my tubes tied if i can find a doctor who will let me god willing
i do think as a treat shauna should fuck up the cop just a little bit like stab him or something ok DO IT
was shauna pulled back from the brink of death in childbirth because her friends prayed to the thing that lives in the woods and it dragged her back to the land of the living. because that would fucking rock.
THE BABY LIVED? IS THIS REAL OR A HALLUCINATION
lisa i love you lisa from yellowjackets my girl who is unfortunately in a cult but at least knows compassion is where healing starts
the relief of the baby being born alive and shauna living through childbirth is shortlived i see shauna is too malnourished to make milk which means the baby is gonna die. OR they will eat coach or someone or maybe akilah's mouse to feed it. or something idk
jeff sitting outside the police station in his minivan being useless while listening to fuck the police on the aux cord
SHAUNA IS MISSING OUT ON THE REUNION? SHE BETTER NOT!
DO NOT TALK TO THE COPS DO NOT TALK TO THE COPS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD (i know they are its still painful)
IF COPS HAD THE EVIDENCE THEY WOULD ARREST YOU IF YOU ARE NOT UNDER ARREST YOU SHOULD BE FREE TO GO CALL A LAWYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
CALLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHES GOT TEETH!
IS LOTTIE BREASTFEEDING?
natalie failed to kill lisa's fish<3 we love to see it
THE GANG'S BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!
OH MY GOD
IT WAS ALL A HALLUCINATION????? FUCK
also shauna's teenager actress deserves like 30 emmys shes going NUTS
1 note
·
View note
Text
a trauma dump in a way
I guess I can talk about one of my co workers. I dont know if ive talked about this on here, but I was hit by a car two and half years ago. and im still battling the lawsuit, and healing from my injuries. I had a lot a lot a lot of injuries, over 9 injuries. and this co worker, he keeps joking about my accident. and it's like, um, ?????. I mean its different when I make a joke about it, because when I make a joke about it I decide its okay and im actively thinking about it, but when someone else makes a jokes about it it catches me off guard, it triggers me. because I wasn't expecting it. and I dont appreciate it.
like, its not like he has to constantly ask people what they said or can't hear ur best friends talk to you half the time. its not like he can't eat and watch a movie at the same time. its not like he needs a hearing aid at 17, 18, 19, 20 years old. its not like he get triggered when someone gets hit by a car or a bus or anything when watching movies and tv shows. its not like he has major back pains as a result of a fractured pelvis from the accident. doesn't have brain damage, can't focus or remember or understand things as well as he should be. so incredibly angry at the world for what happened. treating strangers horribly, just because of the anger you have for what happened what to you. that theyre living their happy go merry life, and here you are traumatized. hurt. and you can't even control it. you dont want to be mean, but it just happens. its deep inside of you. the accident made you a hateful person. not like he has to deal with that.
dealing with the repercussions of not brushing ur teeth for a year after ur accident because you were so tramitauzed and depressed. didn't have to go through inpatient and out patient rehab. didnt have to beg your parents to please take you out of inpatient rehab, begging and crying to please take you home. didnt have to spend 3 weeks in the hostpital, spend thanksgiving in the hospital. doesn't have to deal with lawyers telling you your case is impossible to win, that it was your fault. doesn't have to go to therapy for their severe PTSD. not like he'll ever see Christmas different. or thanksgiving different. not like he has to deal with the flashbacks constantly, everyday. not like he has to look at the pictures from the scene, the police report, the 911 calls, the witness statements. its not like he can't drive at 19 because he's so incredibly scared of being on the road, in control of a car, and can't focus on two things at time. not like he has to a ride a bike to a from work everyday because he can't drive at 19. not like he sees the 18th of every month differently, especially the 18th of November. not like he spent 8 months with half of his paralyzed. not like the facial nerves in his face are still different to this day. not like he can't go to doctor appointments anymore because he has to relive the accident all over again, every time. its not like he mourns the person he was before the accident, how my brain used to be normal.
so, after all that, why does he make jokes about it? but then again, its not like ive told him all this. I wish I was strong enough to do that. but in order to get him to understand that he can't make jokes like that, I have to relive it. I have to give the details, explain what im going through and how this is hard. and that takes so much. it's so hard.
0 notes
Text
Getting my shit in order
So a couple of weeks ago I started working out again since I kinda let myself lose focus. I am not going to completely blame this on buying a house and moving because iv been doing damage for awhile, but iv cut down on my calories and put a major focus on cardio. So Iv been sitting at around 205 lbs for awhile and developed quite a gut, at my worst I think I came close to 210 lbs. but I went to my parents house today to return my moms crock pot that she let me use to make Lobscouse and I weighed myself and was at 197 lbs. This is the first time I am under 200 lbs since I finished school.
I mean its kinda typical of me to get into these extremes because of how self destructive I am. In my early 20s when I quit alcohol, pills, and whippets (I was such a fucking loser). I was in a really fucky mental space and then when I had my back injury that left me close to bedridden for 9 months I lost all my muscle and went down to like 145 lbs, which was a dangerous weight for me to be at. The doctor literally told me that for the first couple of months I just needed to eat whatever for the calories, This was rather enjoyable since I was basically able to eat pizza and donair all the time, but I did need to fix my diet. Well I ended up putting on muscle but also put on a fuck load of fat.
So now I am trying to get into really good shape, I really want to get abs again. This is a little bit more dreaming, but hey why not try. I always had a really great metabolism and when i was a teen I could eat whatever the fuck i wanted and do just a couple pushups and crunches and BOOM! I had abs. this was the case until about grade 12 when the pills and alcohol got a little out of hand and I ballooned up. I still look at pictures of my Prom and how fat my face was from all the drugs and shake my head.
I dont really have a weight goal. I am not exactly shooting for any particular weight, more so just being able to take my shirt off again and not look gross. I wanna look good for my own ego, and for Briana too. My coworker asked a question a couple months ago that made me think. She said if you lined up yourself at each age of your life and you all ran a 100 meter dash, what age would win, and honestly I think the answer would be 16 or 17. I feel like the answer should be somewhere in my early or mid 20s but those years would get absolutely smashed. I just want to get back into really good shape and prove to myself that I can. I gotta feed my giant fucking ego somehow.
0 notes
Text
Just sum no context/might give context writing that ive done for my fav and current save in rimworld.
__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__
"You are a waste of her gift" Anya snorts and intentionally pressses one of his wounds harshly.
○Wade○
"I am trying my best ya know, with only my hands and no weapon or armor. You were rushing me to pack up to find this stupid weapon and i couldn't even find my own."
○Anya○
"Still to end up having to soil your pants and stripped by the enemy is entirely too much. Then you couldnt even win and ended up having to be saved."
__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__
Wade gets into yet another fit of anger after trying to conversate with Kurthos and turns to Anya and says
"Anyania where'd you meet this guy? This twerp keeps speaking as if you picked him up at a mental hospital!??"
And Anya just calmly responds back in full seriousness
"How'd you guess? He was such a cutie that i couldnt pass him up!"
(Anyania is Anya's full birth name and she hates it but allows only her uncle to call her it. Kurthos knows better to not use the name and all the help and servents know better to not try to piss Anya off or else their head will be on the stakes outside)
__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__
"Shes gonna leave with our maid if we dont do something about that" Kurthos twidles his fingers nervously.
"And do what you nimwit, we told her the walls would keep her safe and she went out to pick fucking berries! As if she doesnt eat half the food she cooks and more if she thinks nobody sees her!" Wade cannot believe what he is hearing. Especially when he already knows that the one who will have to do 'something' will be him.
"I dont want to have to clean those big rooms myself. They wouldnt listen to me when i told them to stay still and clean after themselves earlier. The walls laughed in my face." Kurthos frowns slightly
"Honey could you be a dear and tell them to stay clean. They listen to you rather better."
"Of course my love. Though I'd rather just find some other forsaken person out past the hills to come clean up the premises for us."
15 of Septober
Rangly dirty middle aged man falls down from the sky. Wade runs to try to catch him but forgets we built a thick high wall and then proceeds to try to climb it to get to before said dirty middle aged man.
Im sure that my goddess only blessed him because of his blood and not his brains. Even though he doesnt fully believe in her yet but soon he will.
Anyway when Wade got to the dude I realized he had brought the midtech medpacks with him and although I probably should've stopped him, I just let him since we did just get a full stack of glitter medpacks last week.
Nvm we should throw Wade out of the walls and let the raiders have him. HE PUT THAT DIRTY OLD MAN IN MY BRAND NEW BED AND WHEN I TRIED TO TAKE HIM OUT AND PUT HIM SOMETHWHERE ELSE HE CRIED AND SAID "OH NO HE'S INJURED." Oh how i wish the goddess would just leave him for dead next time!
The dirty man has woken up and has since been in a frenzy talking about how his daughter is some baroness in the empire and she is waiting for him. Yadda yaddo doo if you ask me. I wanted to keep him as our new maid/butler but my dear husband also agrees with my uncle and says we should let him return since he has family. :(
I cant deny my sweet darling though so Wade wins this time and ONLY this time.
__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__
12th of Decembary
Update the stinky man died:)
I might've closed and locked the bedroom that we put him in.🤷🏽♀️ Wade has the keys though. He could've opened it but apparently his nice charity act leaves once one of his research projects takes up his time again.
13th of Decembary
Our gardener died:(. Now Kurthos has to plant and harvest all by himself. He is happy to pick up the work though so maybe its for the best.
14th of Decembary
We manged to hire 2 new servants. A doctor and a crafter/miner. I will have the crafter start making up some statues as i want to decorate the place. Also the new house has been built and floored. I am working on setting up some lights in the hallways and rooms as sleeping in the dark is never good.
The very first thing our crafter does when he gets here is apparently flirt with our doctor.
__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__
4th of Aprimay
Some feral child is wandering near the northern walls. Looks saurid and probably about to enter preteen age by the looks of it. Kurthos wants to go out and convince him to stay because in his head "then our child can have a play date to grow up with". Im not totally against the idea but he seems a little old and I've known saurids to be aggressive.
6th of Aprimay
A muffalo hit one of the same damn traps that Wade hit earlier. Lucky that we have that mj girl she has a god's touch for repairing skin and bones. Throw some glitterworld medicine and she could heal the dead probably. Unfortunately the muffalo died before she got there but thats okay we have a few left.
9th of Aprimay
Wade has been mostly out of commision since the trap incident due to his injuries and an infection. But he apparently managed to use his hurt and frail body to woo our doctor, MJ. I have pulled her aside to let her know that even though she works for us and theres a bit of a power gap, that if she's being forced to like him then i could slip her some money and a pack animal to run away with.
She kindly smiled at me and just said that he is interesting and his love for cooking wowed her. Huh guess he's got sum charm then ig. Dont know if they're gonna stay together but if they are serious then we can convert our old bedroom turned hospital room into a couple room again.
Got the lights working in the new house too. Adding a few in the dining room just to make sure it stays lit. Tried to set some up in the old house but the power grid over there collapsed because the batteries kept breaking.
10 of Aprimay
Its 2 in the morning and someone is chatting over the intercom about needing a place to stay for 6 days. Got a group of 4, leader named Kisaki, old caravan robbing and nothing and nowehere to go.
Wade is on his charity behaviour again and says we should take them and for once.....i agree. We need some new hands around here because the whole MJ/Wade situation has me making a plan to turn the old house into a boarding house so then any new servants dont have such awful rooms and can have a little luxury.
Forgot to get them some rooms before they got over here but thats the wonderful part! They'll be making them!
I asked them about their skills and needs and adjusted them to job work accordingly.
__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__
1st of Jugust
Been a while since ive written. The refugee group of servants has left now and this is all they've done since they got here-
Move most of the rocks to the new place for a possible stone workshop.
A series of 3 bedrooms were made. They will be converted into guest bedrooms.
Mined most of the unnecessary rock forces away.
Also huilt the second entrance to the outside but its mainly just for raiders
3rd of Jugust
Wade and Mj have recently announced that they are engaged. Wade is going around smirking and smiling, i hope MJ rethinks this. Glad to know divorce isnt a sin to our goddess. Also i have recently noticed neither are formally members of our religion so i have tooken it upon myself to change that.
I have told her now that since the relationship has progressed so far, she is no longer a servant but she still has to listen to me as i am the master of this house and field. Kurthos is happy to build another double bed for the couple.
6th of Jugust
My pregnancy is nearing the end now. I can feel it. My stomach is wide enough where opening doors takes longer and walking outside the walls takes half the day because of limited speed. Kurthos asks that i stay near the house and chill for the upcoming days and at this point im eager to listen to my dear. My days are filled with walks and looking at fish and playing horseshoes.
Oh however MJ stepped over a trap earlier and although we tried to save her life at first, she died. The goddess has accepted her although MJ hasnt though so she isnt dead dead. She will get used to the feeling of death being further.
9th of Jugust
I have been feeling like I've forgotten something over these passing days and i finnally remembered this morning. There was a boy that i wanted to recruit outside the walls but i forgot with all the other stuff that was happening in the walls. I was curious if he died or finally passed the area and i found my answer when wade came back after searching the near grounds. The poor boy apparently got too cold during the spring and had no where to go so he slowly froze and died. He wouldve loved this heat wave we are recently having.
Speaking of heat wave I've had Kurthos be a dear and set up some passive coolers for some rooms around the house even though he swears its not that hot. Apparetly only me and MJ are feeling the sweltering heat as all the men(even Leikvoid!) have sworn that its normal heat outside. How odd.
10th of Jugust
My wife is in no condition to continue writing for right now so she asked me to finish it. The baby was born healthy and oh so cutely. Named him Michelangelo. He's a cutie patootie.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Mcyts helping a trans masc after top surgery. (Part 1)
Tw:swearing, pain pills, some hints to vomiting, fluff as well.
Wilbur
This simp...
Makes sure you regularly drain your drains, take your medication.
You dont even have to get the fuck up, I mean he's your personal butler until the doctor gave you the okay.
Three times a day you get a smoothie. He can tell that you dont want to eat because of the pain.
The least you can do is drink something to nurioush you while you were in pain.
If you're embarrassed about having to sleep on some dog pee pads for the drain. Dont be.
Wilbur may not understand but he will constantly comfort you. He'll even make a video to tell his viewers he won't be posting for a moment. A personal issues came up and that is all they know for now.
Also when cold he'll try to keep you warm by very, very gentle cuddles. But any sign of pain and he's off of you and getting you warm blankets and heating packs.
His sweaters? Now all yours. You have no say. He will give you one every day knowing you find alot of comfort in wearing his clothes.
The last thing he wants is you in pain. Especially if it was caused by him.
Your testosterone shot? Dont worry he's got it for you.
He doesn't want you to get up unless you needed to go to the restroom or you were itching to get up.
If you dont take it slow he will threaten you.
This is a threat. He will make you sit back down if you tried to get up and clean.
All in all he is a simp and your butler.
Technoblade
Technoblade may not know what to do but he will try.
He's quite nervous but when he realized you havent eaten and needed something in your system for your pain meds hell make you something soft and light on the stomach.
Are you cold? He'll cover you in a blanket and just sit next to you. Floof senses you in pain and cuddles you more then technoblade.
Techno was a bit butt hurt but knew that you needed alot of support right now.
With his height his clothes are either tight or loose. But his hoodies are always huge. And very fucking comfortable.
His scent relaxed you and helped you sleep at night.
He is a hidden simp.
He will make sure you're comfortable. If you want him to he'll sleep with you in the living room.
When you start walking him and Floof are constantly following you. Just to make sure you are safe and comfortable.
You cant help but love your two boys.
His streams and videos are already inconsistent but he did say his next video or stream might take a longer time.
But if you dont mind then you'll sit near him while he streams. If you needed anything he'll get it.
You saying hi to chat. They know you're in pain by your tone.
And anyone he's in a call with will ask what's up. And when you tell them they'll understand and they'll hype you up.
It warms techno's heart when his friends hype you up.
God this closeted simp is melting internally.
Schlatt
He will tease you.
Pictures are taken and spread around the internet like a wild fire.
Caption to those pictures?
This dumbass just got out of surgery and didnt expect to feel like trash lol.
But off camera he's quite the nice guy. Reminding you to drink your water, getting you soft foods or soups, heck he give you some of his pushies from his youtooz.
And this behemoth of a man will give you his shirt or hoodies.
You are with him when he streams or records.
There is no say.
He wants to keep his eyes on you and make sure you are comfortable and safe.
Lowkey dragged you bed into his recording room, you were just vibing in the corner.
You meds are on a set schedule. If the time lands when he's on stream he doesn't think. Just gets up grabs your meds and a premade smoothie.
With that he gave them to you.
Watching you swallow that pill because you can be stubborn with pain meds.
Returns to the stream.
Yells at chat for calling him a simp. He told them you were in pain and it's the least he can do for you.
Will low key rub your back off stream. As sleeping while sitting up us hell on your shoulders.
Jambo is all over you, soaking up the attention he can get while you were immobile.
Schlatt would glare st him for taking away his S/O.
When it came to you wanting to walk he will let you.
If you hurt then this man would laugh and tell you to sit your ass down. You are going anywhere just yet.
He's gonna carry you when you are in as much pain.
He's tall and there is no stopping him.
It makes him feel a bit happier due to the fact you aren't hurting as much, and still getting to the place you needed.
Also he will hug you if he sees you are uncomfortable. The hug is very soft and unlike him.
But at least he is trying.
He also keeps his yelling down, doesn't want you to make too many stiff movements. It would hurt the hell out of you.
Tommy
Ok. Hear me out, butler.
He see the pain you are in and as one of his best friends he wont let you do anything.
Your parents were out of town after your surgery and it wasn't their fault their work called in suddenly.
So you were sent over to Tommy's for the three weeks they were out.
Tommy would let you relax on his bed, heck even sleep on it as well.
Doesn't care if your drains stain the bed. That's an easy clean up and he wants you to be comfortable.
He does still stream. Because it's something he does for a living.
But he'll try to keep it a bit quieter.
You once walked out of the room when he was streaming. You looked like a gremlin, hunched over while you had to take a piss.
When you entered you were greeted by wilbur, techno, and phil telling you they hope you heal fast.
"It only gets better from now on (y/n). Take it easy alright?"-wilbur
"Congrats mate, just relax and dont forget to focus on healing."-Phil
"Yo you got the surgery. Pog. Stay healthy (y/n)."-techno
You melted lightly. A small smile graced your face.
It brought you joy and there was nothing that could compare to it. Honestly.
It seemed almost every day someone tommy knew was hopi g a speedy recovery.
He once yelled at chat for saying you should suck it up.
"CHAT THEY JUST WENT THROUGH SURGRY. LEAVE THEM ALONE!"
You forgot that your parents were even out for those weeks.
Tommy would definitely understand slightly that it would hurt to constrict your chest.
"You cold?"
When you nod tommy is up and handing you one of his hoodies. They are big and comfy. Easy to put on too. So they are perfect.
His two dogs, Walter and Betty?
Expect them in his room curled around you. Dogs know when humans feel pain and when they need something to comfort them.
The stream kind of enjoyed that.
They got wholesome content from you and dog content.
Win win.
Tommy will make sure you have your meds.
If it lands during a stream he blacks out the camera and carefully gets you the things needed for it.
Get you a best friend like tommy.
They wont let you do much when in pain.
Tubbo
He doesn't fully know what to do. He went and spent a few nights over at your house.
Your parents asked his parents for help so they sent over tubbo.
They made a list but the poor boy couldnt read it.
"A sm-oosthie with their pain pill... what the hell is a sm-oosthie?!"
It took him calling tommy to ask him to tell him.
"Tubbo. It says smoothie and who is this fo-."
He hung up before tommy could finish and made the smoothie.
Your cat was quite cuddly.
When he walked in your cat was on your lap.
"Tubbo? When did you get here?" Oh yeah it was a surprise.
"Not too long ago. Your parents left and asked me to help."
He was doing it in all good.
But he scared you so badly.
He bought you a stuffed animal...
It was a huge minecraft bee. And by huge I mean huge.
Like here's the stuffed animal.
Ignore the child. I wished there was a better picture.
But yeah you get the point.
Tubbo may not know how to help you fully but he's trying.
Tommy came to visit with wilbur and phil.
Tommy was meeting up with them and you lived close to wilbur.
When they saw you laid up in bed, tubbo trying to find out how to help with your medication phil kinda went father mode.
You got homemade soup to take your meds.
Tubbo was quite happy to see you smiling and lightly laughing.
When they left you felt better.
Tubbo may not know how to do alot but he tried his best. And you loved every moment.
You got you best friend to help you. And nothing was better then that.
Ranboo
Ranboo spent the night and all you guys could do was joke about the pain.
The jokes were quite self deprecating too.
All night you guys were up.
You couldn't sleep because of the pain and he didnt want to sleep due to the fact he didnt want you to be alone.
So you two were sleep deprived and your parents were concerned. But understood you two didnt want the other to feel bad.
After you healed a bit your parents got called into work. Leading to you spending a few days over there.
Ranboo streamed a recorded with you in the back ground.
He forgot you were there once and he turned on face cam. There you were in the background nose deep into a book while wearing one of his hoodies.
You were freezing and your shirts were a bit too tight.
He just gave you one of his and that was that.
"Whis in the background?"-dono
"In the background?" He turned around to see you just reading your book.
"Oh. That's one of my friends. They had a surgery a week ago."-ranboo
He turned to you, "(y/n) say hi to stream."
Looking up you waved.
"My gay mind went brrr at the idea of no sacks of fat. Now body do the big pain."-(y/n) 2021
It brought a laugh to ranboo and his chat.
You joked through the pain. It was funny.
Dream
What is this I see? He's a simp indeed.
Low key he's answering your beck and call.
He's smothering you in love.
It may not be physical affection but it is still affection.
Your hoodies are replaced with his.
They are huge and comfy.
He saw something online that reminded him of you.
He said it was cute and decided you needed it.
You loved it. It helped you sleep.
Since sapnap lives with him he sends in sapnap sometimes because he's recording or has to get something that wasn't in the house.
Also when you found the zipper you unzipped it and found dream stashed some gift cards and little trinkets in it. Along with a note.
'Knew you would of found this.'-Clay
It shocked you kind of.
But you loved it. It was quite comforting that he gave his affection in these ways still.
Even if it wasn't physically.
Patches is on you 24/7.
She's cuddling you and being very gentle on you.
Low key she won't leave you though, she's following you everywhere, on your lap, sitting there when your on the toilet.
She's clingy. More clingy then before.
But it warmed your heart.
If george visits then he'll see a little gremlin making a b line to the bathroom.
All because the pain made your stomach feel upset.
And you hadn't eaten anything because of pain.
Dream is quick to rush in and see what's wrong.
You were sitting on the ground in the bathroom. Needless to say it didnt end well and you hated it.
"Baby. Do you want me to get you a smoothie and your pain meds?" You were grateful.
After leaving the bathroom you lightly hunched over you noticed the British man in your living room.
You watched his videos.
You waved lightly with a smile.
"Oh sorry (y/n) I didnt tell you george was coming did i?"
Your look told it all.
"Sorry you have to see me like this." You had the urge to apologize.
"No dont be sorry. Surgery is painful."-george
With a small nod you went back to your room and relaxed.
George
He didnt know what to do at all.
He answered your requests.
But he didnt know why you needed that thick ass blanket in the middle of the summer.
But now you have it.
Your stuffed animal that was left in the living room?
It's in your arms by your side.
He's sad it wasn't him in your arms but understood it would cause you pain.
He just lightly lays in your lap.
It brought you comfort and him comfort.
Your germilin ass tended you get up and walk at the weirdest time too.
3am?
Your are going to get a snack.
5am?
You are on your way to the toilet.
7am?
Your once more in the kitchen getting something to eat with your pain pill.
George slept through it and was confused when you weren't in bed like the doctors told you to.
He's quite meticulous with your meds and eating habits.
He doesn't push but makes sure you have something with that pill.
Hell try to help you with your bandages. But sometimes got queasy at the blood and stuff.
It was okay with you though.
You didnt mind that due to the fact that you too got queasy as well.
I think you guys sleep through this alot.
Wilbur and tommy visited.
You was shocked and confused when they had a few get well soon gifts.
Tommy got you a small fidget toy, just something to do with your hands sometimes.
Wilbur got you a few books and a small stuffed toy.
It was a orca.
You loved it but still loved the one that george got you.
He got you a little wooloo one.
It was something that was soft and easy to cuddle.
But the books wilbur gave you were amazing.
It gave you something to do for a long while. And it gave george some more cuddle time.
Other than not knowing what to do george was a great source of comfort.
Sapnap
Sapnap is a bit more experienced with it.
Kind of knowing what to do and all together he just know more then most people.
There is a regular schedule for you meds and so called meals, he changes out the dog pads if he notices them dirty. He knows how to maneuver himself next to you so there was no pain.
He also sucked up that he would be overwhelmingly hot and sat next to you under the blanket.You weren't nearly as cold because of that.
Also since sapnap lives with dream I imagine that dream pops in some times and so does patches.
You all were probably best friends as children. And people always thought that you and dream would get together.
Only because you two were more touchy.
But you saw him as an older brother, and took a liking to sapnap.
Dream was really suportive and saw you as a little sibling.
Dream probably saw you not doing to well and made you something to eat and brought your pain medication.
That was because sapnap was sleeping next to you.
Patches curled up between to two of you and dream brought in something you hadnt seen before.
A roll away bed.
This mother fucker got a whole new bed just so he could sleep in the same room as you and sapnap.
"Sapnap is a heavy sleeper. What if you need something?" He was correct.
You woke up to pain and discomfort.
Dream woke up but sapnap didnt.
You were mainly cold though...
How the hell were you cold with this man radiating radiation the heat of a thousand suns?
No clue. But probably the anesthesia since you were in sapnap room dream just opened the closet and tossed his hoodie to your lap.
You woke up sapnap when you put on the hoodie on accident.
He pushed up against your shoulder a bit more and draped his arm over your lap.
"What's wrong?" Sapnap mumble made you stiffen up. Dream seemed to fall back to sleep too.
"Just a bit cold." He lightly nodded into your neck.
"Mmmmmm. How though."-sapnap
"I dont fuckin know."-(y/n)
He let out a sleep chuckle and seemed to fall asleep again.
You just sat there. Patches and sapnap on you lap technically.
Sapnap woke up and made you breakfast at some point. You were in and out of it due to barely any sleep.
Dream woke up as well. You didnt even know when they left. But patches stayed with you.
Those weeks you were treated the best with these two with extra cuddles from patches.
I didnt know there was a max amount of paragraphs. But hey I guess it's something you find out sooner or later. So there is going to be a part 2. Including some character I missed.
#wilbur x reader#georgenotfound x reader#jschlatt x reader#dream x reader#sapnap x reader#tommyinit x reader#tubbo x reader#ranboo x reader#mcyt fluff#techno x reader#technoblade x reader#mcyt
567 notes
·
View notes
Text
Theories of the Devine
When you were gone
I thought about you often...
I never thought my resolve
For you
would ever soften
Living in our unforgiven sins
Dreaming bout
the woulda coulda shoulda been
Forgetting to do the work
And us
is what it cost us...
And we're not one
to fuck with caution
Staying up all night
Trying to get right
Plus false pride
is how we lost us
No red tape
Ready to fall in
Had me convinced
That we were all in
Really don't want to "life" today
Is there any way
We can just call in
Then wondering why
there's no options
And there's nothing
in my wallet
We gotta eat
Starving aint how I envisioned
Me to end this life of mine
So we turned to a life of crime
after so much time
I guess you had forgotten
That he dont give up
he dont let nothing stop him
even tho his demons
keep him boxed in
used to get high
to keep from falling
Closer to God
unconvinced he hears me scream
But when we scream
we cant hear him calling
I thought that drugs
would make me forget
The times you lied to me
Then I thought sobriety
would solve
All my problems
So much work to do on me
Why even bother
Learned behaviors
Mentally unstable
Love is a fairies fable
Fucking movie prop dust
Not many learn to survive
When its do or die
When it was the world against
Just you and I
I dont need you to show me
I know the unholy
lies that hide behind
the mind of these
blue-eyed wanna be Sinatra's
So He broke you
But
I'm obnoxious?
I only confide and trust
in raw ones
we ride towards the Lost Son
yeah they might win some
but they might have just lost one
thinking one of my Offspring
already off sprung
inhale the sativa
prepare to cough lung
No use crying over lost funds
Don't believe the hype
It all comes back
And I always fall for their type
I always choose the wrong ones
Lately been Inconsistant with it
When it comes to my direction
With my career and these bitches
I'm on and I'm off one
This ship is not sunk
At least I can withdraw funds
getting high as the sky does
While I ride with my guns
I know acting out like this
Might lose its appeal
But I didn't get to brace myself
Before the truth was revaled
I Needed time to process
The prospect to heal
Witness indifferent to stop it
There is no logic in fear
You looking for me
I'm probably not here
Probably wishing on a star
For the words you'll never hear
You told me
you'd be my one
And I thought that
was awesome
I believed now I'm done
And I knew from day one
We had problems
But i thought together
We could solve them
Lately our talks
been getting darker
And our days been getting harder
All them other motherfuckers
are impostors
The context of our relationship
Probably decomposing in my locker
She wanna leave i can't stop her
She wanna cheat i cant stop her
Pointing out her wrongs only
Creates another monster
The real you confined in an outline of chalk dust
Nobody teach a lesson quite
Like the law does
We let it off the leash
Should probably call a doctor
Prolly need a shock collar
Prolly need another shot of vodka
Prolly should have kept me locked up
Probably should have called the cops up probably should accept the fact that I'm stuck
But being stuck with her
Is most times fun
Regardless of it all
Not too many out there like me
When I'm all in
Its for the long run....
-Devine Theory
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Corruption
“Corruption” conjures images of bags of cash changing hands in deserted parking garages, but I’d like to propose a simple and concrete definition that goes beyond that: “Corruption” is when something bad happens because its harms are diffused and its gains are concentrated.
Here’s what I mean. West Virginia is known as coal country, but coal is actually a small, dwindling industry in WV; WV’s biggest industry is chemical processing, dominated by Dow — chem processing, like many industries, is heavily concentrated into a few global monopolies.
WV has a water crisis, with frequent “boil water” advisories. Its origins are in the chemical industry — specifically, in a regulatory proceeding where state regulators sought comment on whether to relax the EPA’s national guidelines on chemical runoff into drinking water.
Dow, acting through the manufacturers’ association it controls, argued the people of WV could absorb more poison than the national average because they were much fatter than the median American, and when they drank, it was mostly beer, not water.
https://washingtonmonthly.com/2019/03/14/the-real-elitists-looking-down-on-trump-voters/
No, really.
Here’s the thing. I’m not qualified to set the safe levels of different kinds of runoff in water-tables. It’s probably not zero (at least, not for most chemicals), but it’s also not “anything goes.”
It’s a question that requires subtle, interdisciplinary expertise: chemistry, health, environmental science. It’s an area where people of good faith can disagree.
These thorny, high-stakes technical questions that cross disciplines are the norm, not the exception.
Even if you have the technical knowhow to evaluate whether wearing masks fights covid, that doesn’t answer questions about vaccine safety, or whether zoom-school will turn your kid into an ignoramus.
Answer those questions and you’re left with still more: should you get in one of Southwest’s recertified Boeing 737-Max airplanes? Is the code specifying the reinforced steel joist that holds up your roof adequate, or is your building gonna collapse?
Should you eat carbs? Will your 401k preserve you through a dignified retirement? Answering all of these questions definitively for yourself requires earning 50+ PhDs, but also, people who have those PhDs don’t all agree with one another.
In a technologically complex world, there will always be official advice whose technical arguments we can’t understand. Our only reassurance is the process by which that advice is arrived at.
We may not understand the arguments, but we can recognize an open, independent process refereed by neutral regulators who show their work and recuse themselves if they have a conflict of interest.
We don’t always understand what goes on inside the box, but we can tell whether the box itself is sound. We can tell judges are financially interested in outcomes, whether they publish their deliberations, whether they revisit their conclusions in light of new evidence.
That’s all we’ve got, and it depends on a balance of powers that arises from a pluralistic, diffused set of industrial interests.
When an industry says with one voice that West Virginians are so fat that we can poison them without injury, it carries a lot of weight.
(so to speak)
It’s a stupid argument. It’s a wicked argument. It’s a lethal argument. It’s the kind of argument that might get you laughed out of the room if it is filled with hundreds of squabbling chemical companies looking to dunk on one another.
That’s the thing about conspiracies (and Dow was, in fact, engaged in a conspiracy to poison West Virginians to enrich its shareholders) — they require a lot of discipline, with all the conspirators remaining loyal to the conspiracy and no one breaking ranks.
The bigger a group is, the more it struggles to keep a united front. That’s why there’s so much billionaire class solidarity. Sure, it’s hard to maintain unity among a clutch of grandiose maniacs, but it’s much harder to maintain unity among billions of their victims.
Monopolization is corruption’s handmaiden — not just because it lets Dow hire fancy lawyers and “experts” to dress up “fat people are immune to poison” as sound policy, but because the industry can sing that awfful song with one voice.
Dow spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to win a policy that will save it millions — and cost the people of WV hundreds of millions or even billions in health costs, lost productivity, and, of course, the intergenerational trauma of ruined and lost human lives.
The reason millions in gains can trump billions in losses is that that the millions are reaped by just a few firms, who can wield them with precision to secure the continued right to impose costs on the rest of us, while the losses are spread out across the whole state.
For Dow to corrupt West Virginia’s legislature, it need only tithe a small percentage of its winnings to political causes and dark money orgs.
For West Virginians to fight corruption in the cash-money world of political influence campaigns, they have to overcome their collective action problem and outspend Dow — all while bearing the human and monetary costs of Dow’s corruption.
America is a land of manifest, obvious dysfunctions, and close examination reveals their common root in corruption.
Take the health-care system: Americans pay more for worse outcomes than anyone else in the rich world.
Their healthcare is rationed by faceless, cruel bureaucracies. They ration their medicine or skip necessary procedures. Patients hate this — but so do doctors and nurses, who have to hire armies of bureaucrats to fight with insurers.
Everyone hates this system. Everyone knows it’s rotten. Everyone — except for a handful of pharma, hospital and insurance monopolists, and the propagandists they pay to busily race through the crowd, busily swapping hats and shouting, “SOCIALISM! BOO! SOCIALISM!”
But while the US healthcare system is terrible at providing healthcare, it’s very good at jackpotting for monopolists. They reap billions while costing the public trillions, and they hand around millions to keep that situation intact.
We can see that in action right now. Nina Turner is running to take over a Congressional seat in northeastern Ohio vacated by Marcia Fudge when she joined Biden’s cabinet.
https://www.dailyposter.com/dems-launch-proxy-war-on-medicare-for-all/
For 30 years, every Congressional rep for Ohio’s 11th supported Medicare for All — a commensense measure to end the long waits, price gouging and cruel bureaucratic rationing of for-profit care. Unsurprisingly, Turner also supports M4A.
https://twitter.com/ninaturner/status/1404793650895331337?s=20
In response, a group of corporate, establishment Congressional Dems have launched an all-out attack on Turner’s candidacy, joining forces with health-care lobbyists to raise vast corporate fortunes to support her primary challenger, Shontel Brown.
The seven Dem lawmakers attacking Turner have collectively taken in $5m from pharma and health-care monopolists. James E Clyburn alone has pocketed $1m from pharma. He’s leading the charge against Turner.
https://twitter.com/TaylorPopielarz/status/1405121330433957888
Before Clyburn accepted $1m worth of pharma money, he co-sponsored Medicare For All legislation. Now he’s its most bitter opponent, insisting that it’s political poison (a majority of his constituents support M4A).
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2020-election/live-blog/south-carolina-primary-live-updates-democrats-vote-2020-candidates-n1145296/ncrd1146076
One million people in Ohio lost their jobs — and health care — during the pandemic. The system is murdering and maiming people. It’s a wasteful boondoggle that’s bad for everyone except a tiny minority of shareholders and the corrupt officials who accept their blood-money.
It’s not just healthcare. Think of Exxon Mobil’s crime against humanity and Earth: the 40-year coverup and disinformation campaign to delay action on the climate emergency. Exxon spent millions, made tens of billions, and cost us all trillions.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/jun/30/climate-crisis-crime-fossil-fuels-environment
The megadroughts, once-in-millennium heatwaves, raging wildfires, annual floods-of-the-century and zoonitic plagues Exxon bought with their millions were objectively a very bad deal — but their concentrated gains beat our much larger diffused losses (so far). #ExxonKnew.
But corruption creates policy debt, and the interest on that debt compounds — in a degraded environment, worsening health, precarious work, and a collapse in trust in institutions. The corrupt have a structural advantage, but it’s not a sure thing.
Take Ohio (again). The GOP-dominated Senate passed legislation to ban Ohio cities from offering municipal broadband. Now, municipal broadband is the best internet in America: cheaper, faster and more reliable than anything the telecoms monopolists offer.
There are ~900 (mostly Republican) towns and counties where people get their internet from their local government:
https://muninetworks.org/communitymap
And they fucking love it, just as much as their Comcast-burdened peers elsewhere hate their service:
https://web.archive.org/web/20180808223947/https://www.consumerreports.org/phone-tv-internet-bundles/people-still-dont-like-their-cable-companies-telecom-survey/
Muni networks are better at everything to do with the internet: connection speeds, price, and customer service. There’s only one area in which they underperform relative to telecoms monopolies: generating profits for shareholders by overcharging and underinvesting.
There’s only a tiny minority of people who’d trade good internet service for profitable internet service (namely, the people receiving the profits). But the pro-monopolists have concentrated gains, while the public experiences diffused losses.
That’s why the Ohio Senate passed its budget bill banning municipal networks. But when the budget was reconciled in the Ohio House, the measure was killed, thanks to an all-out uprising led by the people of Fairlawn, who stepped up to defend Fairlawngig, their muni ISP.
The victory for muni broadband is a triumph of evidence over corruption — proof that the diffused nature of corruption losses can be overcome. It’s cause for hope, especially in light of this week’s collapse of the antitrust case against Facebook.
https://www.wired.com/story/ftc-antitrust-case-against-facebook-very-much-alive/
Facebook escaped justice by citing the theories of Robert Bork, Nixon’s chief criminal co-conspirator and Ronald Reagan’s court sorcerer. Bork insisted that anittrust law had but one purpose: to keep prices down.
https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/28/dubious-quant-residue/#incinerators-r-us
Any other consideration, especially political corruption arising from market concentration, was out of scope.
The court agreed. No surprise; 40% of the US Federal judiciary has attended a lavish “Manne Seminar,” junkets where they are indoctrinated into Borkism.
But the absurdity of ruling that Facebook isn’t a fit subject for anti-monopoly law is the beginning of the end for Borkism, prompting bipartisan calls — led by Elizabeth Warren — to explicitly redesign American antitrust.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/facebooks-surprise-antitrust-victory-could-inspire-congress-to-overhaul-the-rules-entirely/ar-AALCJz8
Corruption has many costs: monetary, human, environmental. But every bit as important is the cost to institutional credibility. Remember, none of us are capable of understanding the technical nuances of the dozens of life-or-death decisions we face daily.
If we can’t trust our institutions — if we don’t believe that regulators are neutral, good-faith experts in ardent pursuit of the truth and the public good — then our very idea of shared reality collapses, as Snowden has written:
https://edwardsnowden.substack.com/p/conspiracy-pt1
It’s hard to overstate the sheer, reeling epistemological terror of institutional collapse. When the EPA allows the chemical industry to poison America, how can you know whether the products in the store can be trusted not to kill your family?
https://theintercept.com/2021/06/30/epa-pesticides-exposure-opp/
Remember, the Flint water crisis came about as the result of corruption: the promises of “experts” that taking shortcuts to save money would come out all right, despite the copious evidence to the contrary.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flint_Water_Crisis
What parent of a permanently damaged child, poisoned by lead deliberately introduced to save pittances for a tiny group of people, could ever trust any “expert” process again?
Michigan Republicans saved millions at the expense of billions, but the gains were concentrated among the wealthy white taxpayers of the state who enjoyed cuts to the top marginal rate, and the costs were born by the Black families of Flint. That’s corruption.
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
when time runs out | ii
⋆ summary: A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.
pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader
word count: 2.1k
warnings: small mentions of suicide (I’ll put a star ‘⋆’ on top and below the paragraph so you can skip over it if your uncomfortable, you won’t miss anything too important so dont worry!)
"Bro, honestly I still can't believe that you of all people made it into the elite, number one hero school in the country."
"Waahh, I'm telling you! I'm the real deal Y/N!"
"So, how's your summer been? School's gonna be starting soon, are you excited?" Denki could only smile and sigh as his character was finally killed off.
Said girl chuckled as she heard Denki's voice rise through her headphones as they continued killing zombies in front of them. She grimaced as a zombie attacked her from behind her character. Geez, I never get a break in this game.
"Well, to be honest, nothing big really happened besides me getting my acceptance letter from U.A. Just me training and hanging with the fam." He laid back in the comfort of his bed, headphones still on in order to hear his cousin.
"Aah, already training, hero boy? That's why you haven't been visiting me lately." Y/N pouted and crossed her arms as her TV screen turned black, returning her to the main page of the game.
"Man, we suck at this game!" Denki laughed out loud as he saw how long they lasted in the last round. Y/N smiled and let out a small giggle of her own as she placed down her controller.
"Yeah, how long have we had this game for? It still feels like it's our first time playing this." Denki cracked a smile, even though Y/N couldn't see him.
"Hey, sorry for not being able to come to the hospital. Getting ready for U.A. is no joke, haha." Denki rubbed the nape of his neck, eyebrows scrunching up with regret.
"Nah nah, it's fine! I understand that you have things to do. You have big plans for the future." Y/N brushed a strand of her hair away from her face, looking down at the needles that were plunged into her arms. Her eyes were clouded with an emotion she often felt when talking with Denki. She always felt guilty whenever the feeling came around.
"Must be nice to be able to achieve your dreams." Jealousy. She hated the feeling she got every now and then, but you couldn't really blame her. She lost everything in only a couple of months. Silence passed between the two teenagers, Y/N finally realizing what she said.
"Uh s-sorry about that! I didn't mean to say that alou-" Y/N was cut off by Denki's soft voice.
"Y/N, it's... okay to feel like that. I don't understand what you have been going through, but I know that you shouldn't bring yourself down for something you can't control. You're such an amazing person and to be honest. . ." Denki paused as Y/N's eyes began to glaze over.
"I'm doing this for me and you. You always encouraged me to take any opportunity by, as you like to say, the neck. I-I wanna make you proud, y'know? I wanna make it feel like you're a part of this crazy world, even if you're not really here, walking with me through it all."
Y/N’s lips wobbled as she let out a watery laugh. She hunched over, small tears falling down her face. To someone else, this would've boosted their ego, but to Y/N, those words meant the world to her. No one had ever said that to her before. She felt like she had a purpose in this wretched life of hers. She sniffles were heard by Denki
"H-hey! It's okay, p-please don't cry!" Y/N heard shuffling coming from Denki as he reassured her to not cry.
"I mean it. I only wish you could be there though, it would be so much cooler!" Denki smiled, trying to lighten up the mood. Y/N's sniffles slowly quieted down as she let out a soft laugh that made his heart swell with joy. At least he can make her laugh.
"I'm s-sorry, but no one has ever told me t-that." Small hiccups came from the girl as she calmed down, taking deep breaths to slow her heart rate. Won't want doctors to come rushing in just to see her crying over something so small.
⋆
"I-I'm just really happy you said that." Denki's heart clenched at those words, his chin trembling every now and then. He knew that Y/N wasn't happy with where she was. She had even admitted that she had urges to rip out the needles and slowly lose her life from there. Denki spent the rest of that night talking to her after. To say he was concerned was an understatement. He was terrified when she told him.
⋆
"I think us being able to play games together is already enough!" They both laughed and talked for a couple of minutes before deciding to to hang up.
"Y/N, I mean it when I say I want you to be happy, okay? I hope you feel better tomorrow. Buh-bye!" Y/N said her goodbye to Denki, hanging up and closing the laptop that sat on a movable table.
Her smile slowly left her face, leaving her staring blankly at the pure white wall and mirror in front of her. When visitors were gone, her window would turn to a mirror so no one would disturb her. Y/N took a good look at herself and only sighed. Despite being as healthy as she could get, she looked a bit on the thin side, this complimenting her skin. Running a hand through her hair, she untangled the little knots that had formed there.
"Geez, what happened to you girl? You look like a zombie." Y/N looked at the zombie game and cringed.
"Literally." Just then the door to her room opened and shut quickly, the air filter turning on when a female doctor entered. Y/N watched her carefully as she checked the IV that connected to her arm. The protective suit never made Y/N feel better about her condition.
"Are you alright, Ms. L/N?" The light, stern voice rang through her ears as she looked at the woman in front of her. Y/N gave the doctor a grin.
"Never been better."
It had been an hour since the doctors had turned the lights off, but Y/N didn't feel the slightest bit of exhaustion. She had been sitting in the pitch black room for the time being and was really debating on turning on the TV.
"Ahh, fudge it." Instinctively reaching out for the remote, she turned on the TV and winced as the bright light hit her.
Looking back to the screen, she chose the option of going online and waited for other players to join. While waiting, a new character popped up next to her and she could only smirk at their username. Tapping on her mic, she decided to make conversation with them to see if they also had a mic.
"Now, what to play. What to play..." Y/N had settled for playing OverWatch since she didn't feel like playing any story type games. No cliffhangers tonight, Y/N thought. As the game loaded, she laid back and began thinking about cheesecake. When was the last I ate strawberry cheesecake? Great, now I want some. Thinking about eating cheesecake made her excited about the next day.
"Well hello, dear ol' 'King Explosion Murder_1.' Nice name you got there." Y/N chuckled as she said the name out loud, seeing another player enter.
"Hello 'Tape Dispenser?' What's with the wack name?" The girl’s eyes crinkled as she smiled at their name, hearing the user chuckle through her headphones. 'King Explosion Murder' still had yet to reply, but that didn't bother her. They're either using the bathroom or don't have a mic.
"The name was inspired by my quirk. But what's up with '_DeathGirl_', huh? You good?" Y/N could only laugh at what he said. She should really send him a friend request.
"I’m honestly great, a little tired, but great! I just gotta make up a name, y'know? But your quirk has to do with tape? I don't know if that's wicked or useless." The boy laughed while Y/N laughed as well, losing her grip on her controller. That was until a gruff voice interrupted their laughing session.
"Shut the fuck up, your annoying ass voices are giving me a damn headache." Finally, after being silent, 'King Explosion Murder_1' spoke up.
"Aah, so you do talk. I don't know why you didn't say anything sooner Mr. Explosion Murder." The other player could only sneer at what she said, hitting his desk with his fist. Another player had joined, Y/N only noticing.
"Ah, hello 'Sleep Deprived Controller!'" Said player made their character wave, making Y/N chuckle. While they had their interaction, 'King Explosion Murder' was shouting at her, now realizing that she wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.
"Hey! Listen to me when I'm fucking talking to you, emo bitch!" Y/N’s eyes widened, soon rolling her eyes, watching the game load as they were placed into a match. What's his damn problem?
"Hey man, no need to go calling people names now." 'Tape Dispenser' nervously chuckled as he heard the other player growl. Y/N sported a shocked face as she heard this. What is he, a dog???
"Outta this conversation, extra!" Tape dude could only deadpan at what he was just called. Who calls people extras?? I’m not an extra, in fact I think I’m- 'Sleep Deprived Controller' listened with an annoyed expression on their face, wishing they could shut their shouting teammate up. Damn, wish I actually had a mic.
The game began as all the players separated, going their own way to kill their enemies. Everyone was in the zone, getting items and yelping every now and then if they were attacked. The first to go down was 'Tape Dispenser', then 'Sleep Deprived Controller', leaving both Y/N and 'King Explosion Murder' left on their team. Y/N smirked at their winning team, only one player was left on the other team. Just as the game was going to end, the opposing player shot down 'Explosion Murder', killing him.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" His mic cut off, causing the two players with mics in a cackling mess. Y/N calmed down, remembering she was still playing, trying to hunt down the last player. Finally, after many curses by a certain player and cheering from another, she located her enemy.
"You better fucking win this or I'll kill you." Knowing he didn't mean that last part, she only focused on the first part. You better win this. Those words echoed through her head as she stopped aiming for the player. She hated being told what to do.
"Ah, so you're one of those people." Not knowing what she meant, they only watched with wide eyes at what she did. Y/N jumped down next to the enemy, shooting them twice with her weakest gun, signaling them that she was there. Quickly, the other player shot her character down, killing her. They lost the game.
"THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?! WE COULD'VE FUCKING WON!" Explosion Murder wasn't taking defeat easily like the other two were. Y/N could only give a grunt of disapproval towards the loud player.
"Ha, why did you just give up right there? You could've easily killed him." Tape Dispenser was just as confused as the other two players, slightly disappointed at the loss. Y/N sighed as she rubbed her forehead.
"Sorry not sorry, but this dude really thought he could get away with telling me what to do. I'll make my move when I'm ready, sorry to disappoint you guys." She sighed as she rubbed her neck, ready to hear the disapprovals of her teammate. But what she heard and saw made her smile.
"Nah, it's fine. It can get a tiny bit annoying with Murder yelling in your ear." Tape Dispenser reassured her, with Sleep Deprived's character giving her a thumbs up. Though, the annoyed sigh caught her attention back to him. Her eyebrow twitched. What is it now?
"I'm done with this fucking sappy shit scene. I'm out." Those were Murder's last words before he disconnected, leaving them in an awkward silence before Y/N stifled a giggle.
"I have a feeling that won't be the last time I'm seeing him." Tape Dispenser chuckled while Sleep Deprived's character shook their head, making Y/N softly laugh. After sending friend requests to both people, she bid them both fair well and left.
Y/N turned off her console and tv, putting the controllers on the table near her. She laid down in the comfort of her bed, thinking about her interactions with the people she met. She smiled, closing her eyes and drifting into a dreamless slumber with only one thought in mind.
King Explosion Murder is such a weird name.
#bakugou katsuki#bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#mha#bnha#mha angst#bnha fluff#fanfic
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
roommates with bakugo (pt.3)
1 week later
living with katsuki had not been the best. his constant yelling and wanting everything perfect made you just wanna leave.
he’d yell at you about the littlest stuff and at practice he didn’t make it any better. everytime you and him were training he’d just try to box you.
you were at the gym right now, getting ready for practice. it was raining outside. like pouring. once you were done you went onto practice to train. you had a match today and you knew you had to win or you’d hear katsukis mouth.
you found out that he was the top boxer of the group and figured out why he had gained hatred towards you. to him, you were a threat and competition. you didn’t see why he was this mad but you were not about to let him just walk all over you. you’ll have to humble him. his ego is too big.
you made it out of the gym and headed to your match.
...
you were now in the locker room and you were warming up. kirishima was helping you out and you could feel katsukis eyes on you. katsuki had told you to call him bakugo but you refused and he yelled everytime you called him katsuki.
kirishima hung around katsuki a lot. they were somewhat best friends. kirishima started to talk to you, “Don’t worry about bakugo he’s really uhhh...competitive. i promise he’s not always like that it’s just you’re uhh very different from what he’s used to and his anger gets out of control at time.” he told you and you looked over at bakugo, he averted his attention somewhere else.
“by different you mean i talk back to him when he’s wrong right?...look i’m trying my hardest not to hate him but that’ll only last so long.” you said putting on your boxing gloves. kirishima nodded his head understanding what you had said. you didn’t care, katsuki was very hostile towards everyone and you weren’t letting it slide. you felt that he needed to learn how to control himself or you and him would be arguing for the longest.
before going onto the ring katsuki walked up to you. he fixed your helmet and made sure your gloves fit. he acted as if he didn’t want to do it, you thought maybe coach aizawa made him do so. you had no problem with him watching over you as long as he didn’t open his mouth.
“good luck idiot. don’t lose.” he said avoiding eye contact with you and you rolled your eyes smiling. “thank you. you don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t want dummy. i’ll deal with you and your attitude either way.”
...
anddddd you won. your cheek was bleeding a little but that was it. your body felt so heavy now. you smiled at the audience as cheering and screaming came from the crowd. this was your favorite part. hearing the crowds screams. coach aizawa smiled patting you on your head.
you headed back into the locker room with the coach to be flooded with congratulations and good jobs. your smile was big and you were really happy. kirishima lifted you onto his shoulders, taking you by surprise. you placed your hands into his hair. “DONT DROP ME.” you exclaimed and laughter escaped his lips. “I won’t. i promise.” you laughed and told everyone thank you. from the corner of your eye you could see katsuki looking at you. kirishima put you down and instantly squeezed you.
you had become close with kirishima but it was on the friendly bases. his arms wrapped around you tightly and you smiled.
“i’m proud of you.” he said ruffling your hair with his hand. “thank you. i really appreciate it.” you said wrapping your arms around his neck. you pulled away and started to get ready to leave. the locker room started to empty out as more people started to leave and soon enough you were the last one left.
you felt someone hit the back of your head, “good job dummy.” you heard katsukis voice say as he walked in front of you to leave out.
“i told you not to touch me.” you yelled and he was already out of the door. you let put a frustrated sigh gathering your things.
...
you made it home after stopping to get some ice cream. you were exhausted and knowing you’d have to come home to katsuki was even worse. you headed up the elevator. the common area was filled with people watching the basketball game that came on tonight. you noticed mina.
“heyyy y/n. congratulations on your win. wanna join us?” she asked and you smiled apologetically as you shook your head no. “boxing always drains my energy. thanks for the congratulations and the offer though.” you told her and she nodded her head understanding and went back to watching the game. you opened the door to your apartment, witnessing katsuki on the couch with reading glasses on. he had on a black tank top with a pop sickle in his mouth, typing away at his mac book.
he didn’t bother with looking at you, you walked past him. “no shoes in the house.” he said and you sighed. “stop talking to me.” you told him closing the door to your room. you took off your shoes then started to run some bath water. you took off your shirt and pants and realized the heat was on. you groaned and thought about what you’d say to katsuki when you got out the bath. the rain outside had you relaxed but the heat inside had you angry.
you went into the bathroom and stepped in the water and you were instantly relaxed. your body was aching and you had to bandage up your cheek when you got out. your mind wandered off to anything. you thought about how your parents hated boxing because it was a “dangerous sport”. but without it your anger was hard to tame and the pills the doctors gave you didn’t help. your parents loved the money boxing brought in but now that they’re not receiving the money, their opinions on you doing it got worse.
you sighed letting your hair down. now you had to live with someone who acted exactly like you. you didn’t realize that katsuki is the version of you without boxing. he’s how you would’ve turned out if you didn’t box.
you wondered what his problem was though. he boxed but for some reason he still acted out of control. you noticed something crawling on the wall and realized it was a spider. you jumped out of the bath, wrapping a towel around your body and went into the living room to get bakugo.
“THERES A SPIDER IN THE BATHROOM. ITS ON THE WALL. HURRY UP AND KILL IT.” you told him and he looked at you angrily.
“you’ve got water on the fucking carpet-
you grabbed his arm, pulling him off the couch and forcing him into the bathroom. “you see that? kill it. now. before i slap you.” you told him seriously. he grunted taking off his shoe, smashing it. he looked back at you.
“you could’ve did it yourself.” he told you and you rolled your eyes as he walked out. “CLEAN UP THAT WATER OFF THE FLOOR TOO.” he yelled from the living room. great. you got back in the bath but it didn’t feel the same so you just washed up and got out. you went into your room after cleaning up and turned on some music, you rubbed baby oil all over your body and put on a tank top the showed your under boob a little but you didn’t care cause you didn’t plan on going out of your room.
you grabbed a pair of grey biker shorts and put them on. you looked at yourself in your mirror and dabbed a alcohol wipe on your cut then put two of those white butterfly bandaids that closed your cut. to you they had worked better than the band aids that covered up the cut fully. you rubbed cocoa butter on your skin and put some chapstick on your lips. you left your hair in it’s curly state. the rain started to pour harder and you put on a pair of white nike socks.
you seen a notification pop up on your phone.
mina> denki thinks that bakugo likes you. please tell me you don’t like that arrogant idiot.
you smiled shaking your head.
you> i don’t like him mina. he’s not right for me. ask denki what made him think that.
mina> he says he’s started started to notice the sexual tension between you too. he says bakugos always staring at you and stuff. i kinda think he’s right y\n. you’re the only one he hates as much as he does.
your cheeks heated up as you read the text. sexual tension?
you> he only hates me because i know how to handle him and plus i’m competition to him.
mina> that just proves my point even more. you’re the only one who knows how to handle him and he knows that. that’s why he hates you so much. before you came...he was way worse. he was fighting everyday. you’ve calmed him down a lot. we all can see it- denki
you sighed.
you> why are you telling me this?
mina> because you 2 have potential and you should tell each other how you feel because not doing so could make things worse sooner or later. he likes you a lot. i promise. he’s just not very good at expressing it. anger is the only emotion he knows and now that you’re here you’ve changed that a lot- denki.
you heard your door open realizing it was katsuki you turned off your phone and looked at him.
“your food is ready. come on.” he said before walking out. what denki said still lingered on your mind. you got down from your little chair and walked out of your room following katsuki to the kitchen.
you watched him as he transferred the ramen in the pot into the bowl. you sat down at the counter. you took in katsukis features. his red eyes were very intimidating, almost daring. his jawline was perfect and his body matched his personality. his muscles were always showing and his hands were very large and very lewd thoughts crossed your mind. you could feel yourself start to get moist. you shamed yourself for it. you were letting what denki said get to your head.
“stop staring and eat.” you heard him say, snapping you out of your thoughts and you stayed quiet. thinking about him like that was idiotic. you hated him more than anything, at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.
you started to eat the ramen he had made for you and it was very good. you watched him use his chopsticks to eat and you wanted to know how to use them.
he looked over at you, “Why aren’t you eating?” you placed your hands in your lap embarrassed, “i don’t know how to use chopsticks. i’m not originally from japan like the rest of you.” he started laughing, “you don’t know how to use chopsticks?” you looked at him angrily.
“obviously. didn’t i just state that?” you asked and he sighed, “is your mouth always this smart?” he asked and you rolled your eyes. you weren’t even being smart. he got out of his chair and came behind you, placing his hand at your waist and he placed his right hand on top of yours. this contact made your heart race, “I-I told you not to touch me again dummy.”
“do you want to learn how to use chopsticks or not?” he asked and you stayed silent. “that’s what i thought. now do as i say.” he demanded. he showed you how to use the chopsticks. it was surprisingly easy and you realized how impatient katsuki was. everytime you’d get it wrong, his grip on your waist tightened and his voice got louder.
you were now finished eating and was cleaning up in the kitchen. katsuki was back on the couch doing whatever he was doing on his computer. once you were done cleaning you decided to make you some some sweet tea.
you heard katsuki come into the kitchen. “what are you doing?” he asked.
“making sweet tea.” you said softly getting out the lemons.
“when you’re done pour me a cup. i turned off the heat but that’s it. i’m not turning on the air. that’s too cold.” he said and you turned around to see him sitting at the island top counter. why was he being so nice?
“why are you being nice?” you asked, he turned his head. “i’m not being nice. the team told me to “ease up on you”. i’m not doing this because i like you or any bull shit like that.” he stated and you nodded your head going back to making the tea. he just had to let it be known.
once you were finished with the tea. you grabbed two wood cups and your tank top slightly lifted up as you did. you poured the tea inside the cups and walked over to him handing him his cup. you watched him drink it.
“it’s good now stop looking at me like that.” he said and you smiled drinking your tea. it was good. your mother had taught you how to make it when you were a child.
you stood at the far end of the counter drinking your tea. you were leaned over with your shoulders on the counter, scrolling through twitter as you did.
you hadn’t realized how silent the apartment was. nothing but the sound of rain hitting the windows filled your ears. you laughed softly at a meme you saw. katsuki looked over at you as he placed his cup in his sink.
you went over to place yours in the sink too. you rinsed his and your cup out, putting it back in the cabinet, your shirt slightly raised again.
“are you doing that on purpose?” you heard him ask. “may i ask what you’re talking about?” you said focusing on the new text you got from kirishima. you felt katsukis presence behind you. he closed the cabinet and took your phone.
this made your blood boil, you turned around and once you realized how close you were you froze up. “why are you texting kirishima?“ he asked and you rolled your eyes.
“why are you worried about who i’m texting?” you asked and he looked down at you. you tried grabbing your phone but he raised hit above his head.
“do you and kirishima have something going on?” he asked and you sighed trying to figure out what he was getting at.
“why? are you jealous?” you asked jokingly but katsuki seemed to take this serious, his jaw clenched and he dropped your phone on the floor. your eyes went wide and you looked at him as if he was crazy. you were about to slap him but he grabbed your wrist and wrapped his other hand around your neck. his lips met yours and that once anger you had for him disappeared.
his lips were soft and he was a very good kisser, the hand that held your wrist was now at your waist, he kissed you eagerly as if he had been wanting to do this for the longest.
he placed kisses along your jawline, “you tease me with the shit you wear and expect me not to react.” you decided to give him the silence treatment. he growled in your ear, his lips touched your neck and your lips parted surprised at how good this felt. you placed your hand at the back of his head, rubbing your fingers through his head.
you could feel yourself getting moist by the second, “damn right, i’m jealous. look at you” he told you sucking the skin on your neck. you let out a soft moan and you could feel katsuki smile against you skin. he dragged his kisses along your collarbone. his hand went up your tank top, squeezing your breast. up until now you hated how big your breast was. his hands was large enough to cover them, that’s all that mattered to you now.
“you enjoy this, don’t you?” he asked lifting you up, cuffing your butt. your arms wrapped around his neck. he took you in his room and placed you on his bed. you watched him take off his shirt, waiting for whatever he was gonna give you. the window view in his room showed his whole room. the rain hitting the window, the sounds of the rain made things so
much better and the view was beautiful.
bakugo grabbed your chin bringing your face towards his. he kissed you passionately biting your bottom lip before his hand raised your shirt. you knew this defied everything you once stated about him but you needed this and the wait for him was too prolonged. you knew deep down that this is what you wanted from you. during arguments him doing this crossed your mind so many times.
he took your breast in his mouth, lightly sucking on them. you placed your hand in the back of his head, moaning at how good his tongue felt on your nipple. he twirled his tongue around your nipple, sucking it before pulling it with his mouth making it bounce back. he did the same to your other one.
he started to place kisses down your stomach. he pulled your shorts off. you didn’t have on any panties and he smiled cockily, “did you know that i wanted a taste?” he asked and you rolled your eyes with your cheeks tinted a bright pink. “no. idiot.” you said and he laughed quietly pulling you towards his mouth. somehow he still annoyed you during moments like this.
he used his thumb to run your clit, dragging his finger between your folds. teasing you as he kissed in between your thighs. he was teasing you.
“k-katsuki.” you moaned lightly. “i need you to tell me what you want me to do and i’ll do it.” he said and you swallowed hard. “i-i want you to lick it.” you whispered and he looked up at you, “lick what? you’ve gotta be specific” he asked and you told him clearer this time, “fuck katsuki. i want you to eat my pussy.” you told him and he smiled. “that’s all you had to say.”
he licked his lips before before he moved his tongue in between your folds. you moaned, throwing your head back. he wrapped his arms around your thighs. once he got to the top, he licked your clit. he gave small licks before deliberately sucking your pussy, pulling your folds with his mouth then going back to licking between them. then he began to twirl his tongue around your clit, making eye contact with you before he started to suck it.
your back arched and you moaned louder at how good his tongue felt. he stuck his tongue inside you and your moans slowly turned into whimpers. your hand went back to his hair as you watched him eat your pussy whimpering. you could feel yourself reaching your climax and you couldn’t take it any longer.
“katsuki. i’m about to c-cum-
his fingers dug into your skin making sure you weren’t going anywhere and he started to eat you as if you were his last meal. his tongue moved sloppily against your pussy and your legs started to shake and you slightly felt that you had to pee, but you moaned loudly and a clear liquid came from inside you as you came.
you looked down in shock. bakugo licked up all of the access juices from your pussy. a string of your juices came from his chin as he lifted his head. he licked his lips, wiping the corners of his mouth, sucking his thumb. he looked at you and smiled, “is this your first time squirting?” he asked and you nodded your head. he kissed you on your forehead and you looked at his pants to see him on hard. he noticed and he put back on his shirt.
“don’t worry about it. this is my way of congratulating you on your win and plus. this was for me, not you. i wanted a taste.”
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Monster boy Encyclopedia- MDZS- Gusu Lan 1
“Welcome to Gusu Lan I assure you there is nothing wrong , I just don’t think humans and non-monsters can handle what the Cloud Recesses has become all at one .Please take this Stone and experience our true home at your lesiure . - Lan Xichen , Current leader of Gusu Lan.
- So Gusu Lan’s main base The cloud recesses is an Eldricht Demon realm . Which is why Xichen has filter over it for someone who is a good Cultivator like him it’s pretty easy to look at Gusu Lan in its full warped Eldricht Beauty with out going insane .
- They have a lot of Harpys and Were rabbits around the
- this dose Bring Concerns about about Sizhui the only human there who sees the true Cloud Rescesses everyday and is still sane . There are. Many theories that people have which includes Him actaully having a personal Filter , him being adopted at an age were he could adapt to it and the most ridiculous being Sizhui being a higher Eldricht Being hiding using Sizhui’s body as a way To manifest itself.
- Kamen Riders , Lilim and Patron Librarian also seem to be able to by pass the Filters on Cloud Recesses and not go insane.
- the Realm is described as A visual depiction of Music the Fauna is often as Living Lyrics, notes that’s Fly ,walk like normal creatures and the Scales move like snakes across the Sky and thier are constant beautiful mesmerizing voices singing the music of Gusu Lan
- but inside there a grating dissonance takes over the Mind of those unprepare for Gusu Lans True beauty. You’ll want to stay there forever and Turn into one of them an You’ll become a Slug , a Shoggoth , An Eldricht priest Or Very rarely a Mindflayer
- Shoggoth and mindflayer seemingly lose thier natural Pigment and turn white and Blue when joining the Sect. Shoggoth also lost thier Butler like devotion for a more familial devotion
- Though many of these Shoggoth were abandoned by thier masters to dry out on the mountain and thus felt betrayed
” what about these Slugs . Well the Slugs were originally Human members of Gusu Lan.”
Xichen seemed to change hes serene Tone for a more Melancholy one looking at one spefic Slug person with two Juniors one was a Slug like Him and other completely human . The Slug Junior seemed to have done something wrong as he was being pulled the older slug .
“Who was that you asked ? Hes my Younger brother Wangji…. I mean Lan Zhan .Wangji is a courtesy name.”
- Wen wanted to Assert Dominance . Basically in an Archery match the sects have every year in Wen sect no body from Wen sect came in the top 4 Lan Wangji came in 4th despite throwing the competion halfway ,He's brother Xichen came in second ,Jin Zixaun was third and in first was JC's Adopted Brother Wei Wuxian . This made Wen worry
- The first thing that Wen did was attack the cloud recesses of Gusu Lan .However Wen didn't just stop at forcing them to burn the place down not they did something worse after they had burned the Cloud recesses they then release a Large amount of Parasitic Slugs on the poor sect and since thier Home was burned they had no where to go , since Wangji 's Leg was broken and everyone left to run Wangji was infected more severely than most of the sect .
- However Lan sect was Surprisingly resistance. to Changes these Parasitic were making to thier bodies and Lasted a long while until Xichen came back with allies .Where Qiren inform him of the state Gusu Lan was in , If the slugs weren't removed they'd all sex addicted feral frankly ugly eldritch Slug creatures known as Deformers and says some have already transformed and left the sect in search of what ever unfortunate partner they can get thier hands on.
- Luckily, the Order of the Chief god heard the Plight of the sects fighting against Wen's sect and thier healer/doctors could help them . Not really ...the order of the chief god are kinda horrible people when it comes to monsters including the Chief god himself and When Xichen asks for help removing parasitic monsterizating slugs from members of his sect most healers/ Doctors from the order turned him down saying Gusu Lan was a lost cause and Xichen couldn't get help from healer's or doctors from the area even with help of Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue asking around when they weren't fighting no one would take the Job as it would require a skilled surgeon and Gusu Lan's resitiance to the change was dwiddling .
- Xichen started to notice that his own brother would sometimes attack him in a brief feral Lust fuel rages before snapping out it as if Wangji couldn't discern Xichen as his brother .
- Xichen was getting desperate he didn't want anymore of his Sect to become these feral minded sex fuel Monsters that barely any remembered who they were. Even if they did win the Sunshot campaign , Wen would still have the last laugh .Xichen even consider infecting himself with the slugs so that he'd aleast be able suffer with his sect in thier final moments of being human and being capable of having rational thought .Even though Jin Guangyao and Mingjue protested him doing this they both knew thier was no point Xichen was going to go down with his ship . “That was until a strange man who was eating cake at the other table put down his fork he seemed to have be from Zipangu“ Xichen countined his Story ”however Mingjue got more defensive when he saw the strange belt around his waist the man was a Masked Rider one the orders many Hero's several of whom help us out in the fights against Wen. “
- However this rider stated that he meant no harm as he hand over heard Xichen's plight about the parasitic slugs and give the men the hard truth ,The order doesn't operate on people with these Parasitic slugs inside them because Removing doesn't prevent people from becoming monsters.But it dose save thier ability to think rationally though they become an entirely different monster from a deformer .
- The rider then said He'd offer to help as he's known through the order as being a Master surgeon able operate on any organ. Xichen accepted his offer with tears of joy and hope it wasn't to late to save his brother and Uncle .
The Rider called his two female assistances over and told them they were headed to Gusu lan's Section of the battle field and then to the cloud recesses itself
- The Cloud Recesses now regard this rider and his assistances as a hero who selflessly put themselves on a the order's chopping block as they resisted the order commands not to help them .
” The Rider told me to call him Brave as to not give The order any reason to attack Gusu Lan .” Xichen snapped out his Reminescening when you ask a question “ What are the Slug people called now well Beforers .”
Beforers
- Beforers and Deformer are a Type of Eldricht Slug monster That was an Idea that me and a friend came up with during her Recent Star Wars obsession . I expanded upon Cloud Recesses and Beforers After taking a look at Junji Itos Uzamaki you know the story where people turn into snails and spirals .
.
- yes Gusu Lan being Eldricht beings is inspired by the Eldritch Lan Au I personally found it on@angstymdzsthoughts
- Anyways beforer just like Other Eldritch monsters are Weird . Beforers and Deformers are classified as Tritionia subspecies as they look like Sea slug though thier body structure mimic The struture of blue Dragon sea slugs( though they often are seen with legs ) they can have the Look of anything kind of sea slug.
- Deformers come from a Parasite . Deformers are basically Feral Eldritch beasts that basically Attack anyone the see as a potenial Vessels For the slug parasites and Taking them out is A basically only one way to become a Beforer as previous Said Gusu Lans Music can also cause humans to become beforer .
- So Beforer don’t manifest Genitals until they take partners. but they do Birth Asexually little slug creatures That eventually turning into Beforers basically cloning themselves
-Yes Beforers are Hermaphrodites like Normal slugs .
- They a look plumper and Gain Long tentacles like appendage that grow from their lower back that seem to have mind of its own after Taking a partner.
-yes The Tentacles are infact Their Partners dont worry they can change back at will . They do the weird Transformation thing all eldritch monster do.
—-
“ What Am I ? ” Xichen looked in confusing “ I’m A Kind of Subspecies of the Dark Priest , I guess you could say I’m an Eldritch Priest.
“ A few month Of living in this Realm I start having dreams I was in the water in the deepest Depths of the ocean and a voice saying that I should Join my people and teach them of the Great old ones. ”
Eldritch priest
- a Subspecies of the Dark Priest Who are more connected to the the Great Old one .
-They are more Cultish in behavior than the Dark priest of the Fallen god.
- usually keep doing thier Jobs of recruting people into the great church of Cthulhu even after obtain partners.
- What Eldritch priest transform thier Partner into is Entirely thier Choice Among the Eldritch Monsters .
You notice the strange almost Mint green colored cloak or was it a pale Yellow it was twice as Large as Xichen and it was really dark inside but , Did you see two scary looking yet familar Faces in that cloak . Your suspicions were confirmed by a hand Coming out and stroking Xichens Face it’s had Yellow sleeves so they had to be from Jin .
——-—
Notable individuals In Gusu Lan
Name: Lan Xichen
Species : Eldritch Priest
Notes: He’s smiles all the time and it’s kind of unsettling . Their are often Golden and/or Green Masses attached to Xichen so hes Most likely Taken .
Favorite color: …White I’ll describe it as white
Favorite Types: Caring and tender people
Status: Taken?
-———-
Name: Lan Qiren
Species : Beforer
Notes: He’s Apparently Lan Xichen and Lan Zhans Uncel
Alot people like the “Moustache”
looks more like Chromodoris willani
Favorite color: Navy Blur
Favorite Type: …he hasn’t really thought about that I guess Mature and Gentel
Status : Singel
————-—
Name: Lan Zhan
Species : Beforer
Notes:
He looks so Sad
he Hates the Leader of Yunmeng Jiang with hidden burning Passion and Lan Zhan wrote down he wished that “ The Leader of Yumeng Jiang be put to sleep like the dirty mutt he is.”
Lan Zhan also wonders why BoJian( MDZS oc) is Even friends with Yunmeng Jiang‘s Leader
Likes rabbits
looks like Glaucus Aka Blue Dragon sea slug
Favorite color: Red
Favorite Type: he Drew a picture that looked similar to current Yiling sect leader if he was human . When we mentioned this he immediately tagged along with us to Yiling .
————-—
Name: Lan Jingyi
Species : Beforer
Notes: He was Born a Beforer it’s believed he split from Lan Zhan
We thought He and Sizhui were twins but they arent
sweet kid ,Huge mouth ,forgetful
Looks like Chromodoris elisabethina
Favorite color: Blue
Favorite Type: I don’t know someone like Jin Ling !?
Stautus : I’m not ready to marry yet !! ;-;
———-—
Name:Lan Sizhui
Species : Hes Human
Notes: The only Human Gusu Lan
Lan Zhan says he came from Wen
As Said before This is Strange because He’s only a Junior and hasnt Gone insane for Gusu Lans Beauty
Favorite color: Periwinkle
Favorite Type: I have no idea I guess I follow Jingyi and Say someone like Jin Ling
status: Not ready
#eldritch#eldritch!lan#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#mo dao zhu shi#lan xichen#gusu lan#lan sizhui#lan zhan#lan wangji#kamen rider#kamen rider ex aid#monster boy#monster girl encyclopedia#alternative universe#crossover au#crossover
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
#tw #suicideawarness #triggering #depression #suicide #substanceabuse
Ah! So suicide awareness month eh. Well I don't know where to burst out exactly because people don't really care about it but ok let's try it here at good ol' Tumblr.
So, where I live we don't have any suicide helpline or any awareness programs or anything at all regarding mental health. I mean don't get me wrong we would adapt western media full fledge when it's Valentine's Day or some other ridiculous thing but no one wants to talk about suicide because it doesn't bring trp and people are already sad and I agree it's true.
But we gotta talk about suicide, man, come on. I am sorry but at least I think I should.
I have never really openly said it but I have given hints many times. But I am openly saying it that I suffer from very severe depression and anxiety plus Bipolar personality disorder. Which means I am either going through maniac episode or depressive episode almost everyday (you can Google them).
And yes, I have tried to kill myself multiple times. And turns out like most things in my life I am not really good at it. Since, I am writing this. Which is why whoever is reading this, I am taking your time (thanks btw).
I was always a little different since my childhood as compared to others. I liked being alone a lot and writing things instead of talking to a person. Because whenever I tried to make a friend I would do something wrong and they go away. So, at one point I stopped trying and I realized something that people around me dont really like me.
Even my teachers kind of didn't like me because I would just randomly ask the most peculiar questions. For example when we were reading *book spoiler* George Orwell's 1984, everyone in the class was worried for the hero when he was being tortured but I asked or told my teacher that 'okay so, his fear for the mouse was bigger than the love for the girl and it okay to betray her?' and everyone was like that was not the point. I am sorry, I got districted and I am sure most people wouldn't get the reference.
Anyway, my point is that I always had and have questions about things when people should keep their mouth shut. At least one shouldn't questioned these things.
But that is still the thing with me, when you or someone makes a prominent statement there should be a reason or at least an explanation behind it but I was called blasphemous for questioning them. And that was fine with me but calling me blasphemous didn't get you out of the position of not able to justify your statement.
So, throughout my life I was called many things, spoiled, brat, weird, drama queen, actress, attention seeker. I can go on and on.
I don't know about rest of the names but I am pretty sure I wasn't spoiled. My parents were never the type to hand over the money because you asked for it. They were kind of people who wouldn't even give you money even when you actually need and beg for it. They would give you the thing instead that you need the money for or you don't get it at all for example school picnics and events or the bag you really really wanted.
So, well when you don't get things. You eventually start doing bad things such lying a lot and stealing stuff. And it keeps growing and growing and even though deep down you know how wrong you are but then you don't know how to stop because you are getting things you want.
Okay, off the topic again. What I am trying to say that I was maybe lot of things that people said but I wasn't spoiled. I was physically abused and eventually realize mentally abused too. And things weren't really okay with me. I won't take it like most people do.
My brain wouldn't stop thinking about them and I was becoming more and more irrational as days goes by. And I was thinking what if I was dead and that would make things lot more easier for me and the people around me.
Eventually, that idea became more and more intense and growing around I always heard people say that if a person kills themself they would never be forgiven and it was the greatest sin ever.
But then those people would also say that not praying is the greatest sin and you won't be forgiven for that ever.
And then not believing in one God is also the biggest is of all sin and you won't be forgiven for that ever.
And then saying hurtful things to people is also the biggest sin and you won't forgiven until that person forgives you.
So, which one was the biggest sin? All of them? Because then those same people would say that God would forgive you for all your sins if you repent and because God is most forgiving. Even more forgiving then your own mother.
So, my curious brain once again started asking questions. For which again I was told that I shouldn't because it was wrong and blasphemy.
Meanwhile, my mental health was decling day after day but no one really noticed because in our society their is no such thing as mental health. Either you are crazy or lazy, hey that rhymes.
I was pretty much deemed both.
Mostly, lazy but then there is a solution for that in our society for as well. Get married! Tada! Because when you are married it fixes everything! And anything.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that I obviously despiced the marriage thing. Because I knew I couldn't do it.
Someone who can barely keep themself put together, cannot handle the responsibility of the marriage and of course I wasn't interested in anyone. I mean of course I had crushes and stuff but unlike most girls/women my age I never went as far as thinking about marriage all the time. Which was happening at that time all around me.
People were keen to get married or getting married.
And I don't know why people thought it's about time I should get married too and everytime the situation like that came along I would have the worst kind of panic attacks. I couldn't eat or drink or sleep and I had to fight and fight to make the situation go away.
But you can't win every time now, can you? Eventually, I was forced into getting engaged and I can't explain how horrible each second for me during that time was. But once got lucky enough get out of it and it was happiest day of entire life. Well just for me of course. Everyone around me was pretty bumped but I was selfish because I got out of it.
And the worst part of the whole thing that bugged me was that guy was honestly horrible. He called me fat and then his family came around to inspect me like a cattle because my family told them I wasn't fat. What a wonderful thing to your child. Really helped my self esteem.
He couldn't even spell aunty right. Yeah he wrote 'unty' and apparently his parents bragged he went and study in Australia. So, if Australians wrote aunty like that, then I suppose I was being a little judgy.
Anyhow, I was so relieved. It was like I could breathe again. But obviously it wasn't the end of it.
Things like that don't don't just end for people in our society. Situations like that kept happening and my parents was getting desperate at this point because duh! I was growing old and who would marry an old girl even when like they 10 years older her.
During the period of my engagement my mental health was at its worse and it was getting worse everyday. I was constantly having panic attacks and one day out pity I was finally taken to the doctor not a psychologist or psychiatrist but just a normal doctor.
Lucky for me that guy prescribed a magical pill which fixed everything, for a while and I loved it. The minute I would take that pill everything would become normal. I would even stopped caring about the engagement thing till that pill lasted.
I didn't know at first what it was but then I figured it out and I would go out buy shit ton of them because it fixed things for a while.
In short I was addicted to vallium and then I found out there are other pills like that such as Xanax and plenty of other and as long as I had money no one cared who they selling these pills too and it wasn't like I was buying them from some shady person. I was actually buying them from legit pharmaceutical shops.
So, whenever situations like those came around or at that any other point I faced problems I would take those pills but then I realized that eventually that they stopped working so I increased the doses for them to work and the doses increased and increased. At one point I was taking a box each day just for a moment of calm. And years went by and so did the amount of pills I was literally throwing my whole month of salary on them.
Then my family finally noticed that something was off because I never had money and I wasn't exactly
buying anything so where was the money going? Also I was sleeping a lot and starting to forget things which was pretty out character for me.
I was confronted and given an ultimatum. So, for a week or more I think I didn't take any pills but then I was taking them for years now and you are not supposed to suddenly stop them. But I didn't know that at that time.
And that was my first attempt to kill myself. But then things happen, bad things, and they kept happening and happening. Finally came a point where no one was to stop me from taking pills or trying to kill myself.
By then I had committed multiple attempts to kill myself. I was self harming long before that but after that it had gotten much worse. And my last attempt was this year but instead of dying I went into a seizure which lasted 48 hours and even after that I wasn't able move my tounge properly and certain part of my body for a month.
That was the first time I was scared of suicide. Because I was not able to do anything on my own. I bit tounge so hard that it bled and broke a teeth. It worse than dying.
I was finally taken to the hospital and a real psychiatrist who finally diagnosed me with my illness.
Yet still, some people think I make things up because I did them in the past but that shit was real and anyone who say I act crazy to get attention, then I swear to you that you wouldn't wish that condition on your worst enemy.
Talking about all this wasn't to let my heart out or anything. I just want to tell you and anyone who understands to realise that mental illness is very very real and it's a nightmare that doesn't go away. That only problem it is not visible like other diseases. It's just like having a cancer but imagine you can't see that cancer.
And being suicidal is not a joke, no one wants to end their lives on purpose. Everyone wants to live.
But just think for a moment from prespective of the person that their brain had been through enough that it thought that life is not worth living anymore. And if it's a sin then they are ready to go to hell because imagine life being worse than hell.
I know this is already a really long post but I needed to bring this up because recently I was having conversation with colleagues about what we should about suicide awareness month and I was like maybe make post to empathize with people who go through this horrible rough path but my colleagues suggested that they should put this religious script which says that anyone commits suicide will never be forgiven and will forever be in hell.
And this was coming from the person who doesn't pray at all. I was like what about you? I wasn't judging him. I was like so you won't go to hell and be there forever?
And he was like I will be forgiven but people who commits suicide they will not be. And he was so confident that he even said that you will see on the day of judgment that people who didn't pray will be eventually forgiven but there is no way for people who had committed suicide to be forgiven.
And I was like okay, wow! Because there is literally no point with arguing or trying to make people like them understand because they won't. And I know many, actually forget many but most people would agree with him. Because they don't even accept mental illness as illness at all and if you are sad/depressed you must not be praying or need to pray more.
But, I pray for those ignorants who make fun of mental illness and suicide and call it attention seekers or actors when it is desperate cry for help.
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
darkholo
.
basically-just-dogs
All of the Dogs
gojolight
the best time of my life
baby-shayy
Hi Daddy
pleaseentermyhouse
*:･ﾟ✧ just a lil deer *:･ﾟ✧