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magnusbanewastaken · 3 years

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WHAT TO BUY THE SHADOWHUNTER WHO HAS EVERYTHING (And Who You're FINALLY Officially Dating... And More)

SUMMARY: In compliance with our roleplaying group's winter holidays special activity, following the prompt: “Someone has just become fabulously wealthy and is picking out gifts for their family.”

RATING: G

CHARACTER/S: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Max Lightwood-Bane

TAG/S: rpgroup, writing challenge, romance, winter holidays, christmas

also @ ao3

Last minute Christmas gift-shopping was always a terrible idea. Either things would be out of stock by that point or nothing much of worth would be left on the shelves. Not to mention the surprising long lines that still exist that late into the holidays. Not to mention having to deal with ill-tempered customers in line with you and the frustrated staff who had to be stuck at work instead of spending the last few days before Christmas preparing for their own celebrations at home. But that's not always the case, not if you were like Magnus who knew exactly where to go.

Everywhere you looked in the Liberty Mall were a festoon of lights, ribbons, tinsels, shiny ornaments, and faux evergreens decked along escalators, archways, and guardrails. A massive Christmas tree that reaches up to almost the third floor of the mall, stood tall at the center of the atrium. This was the place to be in Manhattan for Magnus's quick, at-the-very-last minute shopping spree. All the shops were still open despite it being Christmas Eve already but there weren't a lot of people there compared to other stores and strips around Manhattan around this time in the afternoon. The reason for that most likely had something to do with the stores there being lavishly-priced luxury stores. And that was most unfortunate for him since he liked the attention and stares he'd get for the captivating outfits he usually wore.

Today he had on black leather pants, a studded black belt that looped around his waist twice, and a blood red wool overcoat open over a white wool deep V-neck sweater. A pair of gold thin rimmed sunglasses sat neatly over his coiffed hair and his face was subtly slathered with silver bits of glitter just over his eyelids and out towards the outer corners of his eyes. At least there were still some store managers to dazzle, he thought, perhaps he'd even get discounts as it sometimes often happens to him. Not that he needed any discounts. He had a perfectly wonderful yet complicated relationship with money that never really failed him even at times when he'd end up with nothing but the shirt on his back. He could get himself anything he wanted and anything anyone else wanted. Which is how he ended up going for a last minute shopping spree in the first place.

He didn't have to be there. Personally Magnus wouldn't really bother with shopping "traditionally" for anything. He could just conjure up anything from somewhere and compensate for them later, that is if he remembers to do so, and it was more reliable than online shopping. But now that he was practically sharing his life with Alec, some changes with his lifestyle had to be made. His roguish shopping habits weren't something Alec particularly liked leaving the warlock no choice but to oblige.

He sauntered through the marbled floors of Liberty Mall, going in store after store to pick out presents for tonight's party. It was a gathering at the Institute, mostly a Shadowhunter event despite other Downworlders like him being invited and despite Christmas not exactly traditionally celebrated among the Nephilim. It was an excuse to have a party for the holidays and a way to have their growing families gather together for a night. He wasn't in charge of organising this party, a mistake and a tragedy for them if you'd ask Magnus. He would've done it for free if they asked but the other people who aren't his friends and family that will be there were still predisposed into thinking Magnus would have turned it into a Downworlder rave. At least it was Isabelle helming the celebration, he could count on her to pull off something he would still enjoy despite the restraints of the ever-so-uptight Nephilim traditions.

It was easy enough to think of gifts for the women in his life since fashion was always the answer. He went to every big-named fashion houses at Liberty and was immediately entertained by store attendants, likely believing he might be someone important or famous with the way Magnus always carried himself. And if not that, it was the wads of cash he'd fan and flaunt to their faces, Magnus always wanted to do that. Isabelle was easy to give gifts to since she was always more than willing to try out anything Magnus recommends and her taste and style was to his liking. He simply got her anything he thought would look good on him if he was a woman. Maryse, much like her daughter was somewhat easier to give gifts to. Some jewelry here, designer coats and handbags here and there. They didn't always see eye to eye but ever since his little blueberry, Max, came around, Maryse had softened, even Robert too. She'd often invite him over just to chat, although he was certain she just wanted to spoil little Max. But it did give him the opportunity to get close to her and know her well which also pleased Alec.

Lily was another person he found to be easy to gift to, she'd accept almost anything fancy he gave her, even the not-so-fancy ones he'd sometimes trick her into believing were fancy. Clary on the other hand was slightly more difficult as to this day she still had little to no fashion sense and would deny him the opportunity to enlighten her about the latest fashion trends. Even Maia was easier to bend, provided it came along with a couple of board games and video games. But that won't stop him from trying. He didn't want to force Clary into things that would be uncomfortable for her even if they are trendy. He didn't want to change her, he only wanted to open her eyes to different possibilities than just sticking with something safe and casual. Good thing Jocelyn wasn't as difficult as her daughter. He got her some clothes and jewelry but of course he had to give her the finest brushes and paints as well as coffee table books on art. He was certain Clary would be jealous of them but she'll have to up her fashion game first before he gives her anything she actually wanted.

Men were difficult to give gifts to, he thought. If they weren't anything like him who had a taste for all the pretty and stylish things in the world, he wouldn't be enjoying even thinking about what to give them. Raphael and Ragnor were the exceptions since their gifts were almost exclusively joke gifts and expensive ones at that. But, well, it wasn't possible to do that anymore. He completely rushed through gifts for Jace, Simon, Luke, and Robert and got them simple, not-as-thoughtful as the rest gifts. A set of throwing knives from Japan and a set of Scandinavian hunting knives were for Jace. Simon gets to inherit some of the rare comic books in his possession that were still in mint condition. He threw in a couple of the latest computer games in there just to say he actually bought him something. Luke also gets a set of first editions of books he had owned for centuries; he figured he wouldn't mind that they were used books. But he also got him some new clothes and shoes. Magnus appreciated his alternative, scruffy vibe but he can't wear plaid and worn out boots every single day of the week, that's just preposterous, especially when he has to stand next to a lovely woman such as Jocelyn. And for Robert he got him a pair of watches and a set of fashionable ties, dads liked those kinds of things, right?

He also threw in mugs with designs that he thought would fit for everyone like "Nothing Less Than Seven Inches" for Isabelle. "World's Best Grandma and Grandpa" for Maryse and Robert respectively, "Life Is Short And So Am I" for Clary, "I'm A Vampire Let Me Suck You Off" for Lily, things like that. Nobody likes getting mugs, especially not for Christmas, but he had already prepared expensive gifts for them, surely they wouldn't mind the mugs.

He was empty-handed again after sending away the novelty mugs he got for everyone. His loft must look like Santa's Workshop by now with the amount of gifts he sent back there, he was hoping to get back and do some wrapping before Alec and Max comes home. He looked out the glass panes of the side of the mall to see that the sky was still a bluish gray of daylight, and the horizon was just turning into a faint shade of purple. It's only been a couple of hours but going through all those stores felt like a lengthy ordeal. Next year he wouldn't be so generous, he thought, he'll only do it again in ten years or twenty.

Now all that's left was his own little family. Alec and Max. Max and Alec. My family. He kept repeating the thought in his mind. Even if it's been years since he and Alec were together and well over a year since Max came into their lives, it was still a bit odd for him to think that this was all real if he was being honest, but it was all real. Being with Alec was real. Having Max with them was real. He doesn't really show it but even Magnus was still trying to get used to the idea.

Max was not difficult to think of a gift for, what was difficult was restraining himself from spoiling him; Max was such a cute baby it was really difficult not to do so. If Magnus had it his way he would've spoiled him to death, even Maryse was quite eager to do just that, but Alec wasn't going to have any of that, and he was right on this one. Still, it was Christmas, so he got Max some stuffed toys and a rideable toy car that looked very much like the black Maserati he and Alec rode through France last summer. He hoped for the best that Alec would let this slide becuase Max would look really cute in it, provided he didn't float away with it.

Alec was the last person he would be getting a gift for. Magnus could have made an excuse for himself that this was because he saved the best for last but really Alec was the first person he tried to think of a gift for, the moment he woke up this morning to be exact, and since then he hasn't settled on what to actually give him. Magnus wondered how you could love someone so passionately and even know that someone all too well for quite some time, yet you still find yourself having difficulties with thinking of what to gift said someone.

Magnus took respite in a garden cafe on the first floor of the Liberty Mall. He had one of their special winter lattes that were sweet and minty cool to taste while still thinking of a gift for Alec. He knew he couldn't ask anyone else for their opinions, he learned that lesson the last time he tried to think of a gift for Alec on his eighteenth birthday. He could always ring up Isabelle but he figured she would still be busy with organising things for tonight. Scrolling through articles online on his phone didn't help much either since they found them all too tacky and incredibly heteronormative for his liking. He sighed and put down his phone and took a sip from his latte.

His eyes lingered on the stuffed toys sitting inside the toy car he recently bought for Max just sitting next to his chair. He hadn't sent it away to his loft yet since seeing it gave him some sort of comfort. Looking at the car closely made him remember of his time in France with Alec again. That was the time where they finally managed to redo their European trip without having anything to do with demons and cultists. He has been in and out of France far too many times since the Belle Époque but that summer felt like a brand new experience with Alec. Magnus showed him all the places he had fallen in love with in the quaint countrysides of France and Alec showed him how to fall in love with them all over again. He told Alec about how he felt about that and Alec told him how much he looked forward to seeing the world with him. That was a promise that made Magnus believe that what they had was something for the long run, that he would be loving Alec for a long time. And that's when it hit him. He finally figured out what to give Alec.

Magnus's loft never looked so bright and festive unless it was because of his parties. It has been a long time since he last threw one and it was before Max came along. Tonight, his living room was ornamented by the dreamy and warm hues of gold, beige, cream, and white. The usual colours of reds, greens, yellows, and blues were much too gaudy for Magnus's vision of Christmas that year. The only greens in sight were the garlands lined all over the place and the tree sitting at the center of the room, swathed with gold and silver tinsels and ornaments as well as strings of fairy lights. Sitting by the floor and standing about as high as half of the tree were the presents he had bought earlier in the day. Magnus had already changed into the suit he would be wearing tonight. Alec had warned him that he might get looks from people since he would be wearing white when it's not a funeral. Not that Alec really minded but thought he should let him know anyway. Magnus thought that would be ridiculous, he'd be wearing chanterelle beige not white and he would very much like to get looks from people. And that was that, no one could tell Magnus how to dress anyway.

He was surrounded by lights and sparks of blue as he did his magic, as he was still in the middle of boxing and wrapping the last batch of presents when he heard the door swing open. Without pause, he looked over the side of the tree and looking past the mountain of presents to find Alec with an astonished expression on his face. He was also already in his outfit for tonight which was something he asked Magnus to pick for him. He wore dark brown dress pants and brown overcoat over a cozy beige turtleneck sweater that let him look somewhat formal without sacrificing comfort. He would have just worn something semi-formal but knowing Magnus, he wouldn't have let him look too simple next to him. Alec was carrying a little blueberry of a baby in his right arm, wearing a little black and white onesie suit. The little blue warlock was looking far more cheery than Alec at the sight of the presents. Or perhaps he just had a nice mix of milk in his bottle that day, Magnus couldn't quite tell with Max sometimes.

"Did you just rob the North Pole?" asked Alec.

"Of course not! And even if I did, I'd say it's fair game, that jolly old bastard owes me," Magnus just finished tying the final bow on the last gift in the pile when he walked over to where Alex and Max was.

"...Santa Claus is real?"

"Absolutely, and he's a warlock too. I thought that was common knowledge," said Magnus then planted a kiss on Max's temple.

Alec was not always sure whether Magnus was making things up especially when it comes to warlock things and his warlock friends but that wasn't what's important right now.

"You paid for all this, right?"

"I did and here are the receipts to prove it," with a quick snap of a finger there appeared a clipboard of receipts popping up from a blue swirl of light, floating right in front of Alec's line of sight.

Magnus spoke almost too proudly about legally acquiring his gifts. Alec had been persistent in guilting him with the things he'd conjure from somewhere without paying after all. Magnus picked up Max from Alec's grasp before Alec started flipping through the receipts. Then suddenly a gasp was heard.

"By the Angel, Magnus! Twenty thousand dollars just for clothes?" Alec asked, having a more audible and greater shock than the one he had when he came in earlier causing Max to look up at Magnus as if he could understand and was looking at him for answers.

"They were Dior," Magnus simply explained.

"Seventeen thousand dollars for a watch?" Alec continued flipping.

"Two watches actually, believe me that's already cheap, I hope your father doesn't mind."

"How could you even afford all this?" He asked as he still continued flipping but should really be stopping at this point.

"The painting I sold off the other day remember? It was worth millions apparently,"

"Millions?" Alec looked at Magnus with an even greater expression of disbelief than when he started flipping through the receipts.

"This is why I don't want to talk money with you, you look like you're about to faint," Magnus spoke calmly as he held Alec's face in his free hand hoping it would calm Alec down as well.

"Remind me not to ask next time," Alec nodded then sighed. Magnus looked at him, a bit of worry evident on his face but Alec gave him a reassuring smile, "As long as you actually paid for things."

"Yes, dad, I don't do that thing anymore," Magnus quipped with a smile and dipped in for a kiss on Alec's cheek.

"How are we getting all this to the Institute?"

"Darling."

"Right, magic. Almost forgot. Well, we better go ahead, Izzy will kill me if we're late."

"Wait, I'm sure Izzy won't mind us being fashionably late. I want to give you your present right now," said Magnus then passed Max back to Alec's arms.

"You look serious," Alec noted as he let Max nestle comfortably in his right arm.

"Just nerves. I'm not sure why when I know you wouldn't say no."

"No?"

A whirl of blue light appeared in the palm of Magnus's hand. When the glowing light dissipated, underneath it was a small red velvet box. Magnus could see Alec was already too stunned to say anything. He stared at the box in the warlock's hand for a moment and then back at Magnus. His brilliant blue eyes seemed like they were glistening as their eyes met and Magnus felt his heart warm up at the sight of Alec's smile.

Magnus opened the box and cushioned inside were a pair of rings. One had a round ocean blue diamond set in an intricate basket of flame filigrees, setting on top of a half-braided white gold band. The other ring was a bit bigger in size with an emerald cut blue diamond framed with blue melee diamonds.

"You paid for this too, right?" Alec finally spoke, Magnus almost laughed.

"Darling."

"Sorry, nerves."

"It's my promise to you, my love," said Magnus. "I still stand by what I said the last time we spoke about it, that I won't have you marry me until you, until we, can marry in gold. You deserve nothing less and I can't have you settle for less just because you chose to be with me. I want these rings to be a promise and a reminder for us everyday when we might glance upon it that this is all real. Just as real as any other Shadowhunter unions. That the kind of love we have is not worth anything lesser just because it's a little bit different than what Nephilim traditions dictate.

"So, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, if I may ask,” Magnus got down on one knee and looked up at the two loves of his life, first to Max and then to Alec, "Will you promise to stand by me until we can marry in gold?"

"Absolutely. Yes. It's a promise," Alec was holding back tears as he said that. Max might have felt it too since he started blubbering things and patting his little hands on Alec's face as if to comfort him.

Magnus picked out the ring with the round cut blue diamond then reached out for Alec's left hand. He slipped the white gold band in his ring finger then looked up into Alec's beautiful blue eyes with his heart full of love. Alec took out the other ring from the box with his free hand as Magnus raised his left hand in front of him. The ring sat perfectly around Magnus's left ring finger and suddenly it was the most priceless ring he had, putting all the other rings he wore to shame. They both leaned in for a kiss, it was sweet and tender and Magnus felt the warmth of Alec's love between his lips. But Max had other plans when he decided to break it off and hit Magnus on the side of his head.

"Alright you little smurf, we're going, we're going," he smiled as he ruffled the head of the little blue warlock.

"Oh, right, Alec," Magnus raised his hand and behind the blue glow of smoke surrounding his hand, he conjured up what looked to be like car keys. He handed it to Alec and he immediately recognized the logo etched on its body.

"Did you rent this just for tonight? Can't we just Portal through?"

"You know I don't trust Portal-ing with the baby," Magnus replied. "And no, it's not rented, it's yours."

"No way. Magnus, I can't—" but Magnus cut him off with a kiss.

"Darling, no more arguments before a party," said Magnus as he pulled away from Alec. He then took Max from him and carried him in his arms. "I don't want us to look stressed when we waltz in there. We have the image of a perfectly perfect family to rub in people's faces."

Alec was still a bit dumbfounded about everything that just happened. All those surprises in one night seemed to be too much for the Shadowhunter. But Magnus liked it whenever he leaves Alec dumbfounded.

"Now come along, Alexander, I don't want us to be later than fashionably late," Magnus was already out the door and was being playful with Max who was giggling his little heart out. "My little blueberry must steal the show, yes you will, you're going to be just like your papa when you've grown."

Alec eventually broke out from his daze. He followed them out and went on their way to the Institute.

The party had already started by the time they rolled in the Institute grounds in the sleek black Maserati GT Convertible Magnus had just given him. Though the streets were lined with snow, luckily it wasn't snowing that evening so they were able to ride the car with the top down. Alec might have wanted to argue with Magnus about it earlier but driving it now let him warm up to the idea of owning it. Max seemed to have enjoyed the ride as well as he sat on Magnus's lap in the back of the car. Everything seemed to be going smoothly on its own that Isabelle had the time to come out and meet with them. Simon was with her of course and Jace and Clary followed too when they heard that Magnus, Alex, and Max were on their way. But it was really just an excuse for them to be able to leave the party even for a moment. Parties really weren't the same without Magnus in it.

Clary immediately walked over to Magnus who was carrying Max in one arm. Max was still bouncy and lively as he wrapped his hands around Clary's finger and patting his other hand on her head. Jace was in awe of the car that his parabatai drove and recognized it was the same one Alec kept talking about when they got back from their European redo trip last summer. Jace nearly flipped when Alec told him it was his Christmas gift and even Simon who wasn't exactly a car guy was impressed by it. The car conversation was cut when Isabelle broke in to reprimand Alec and Magnus for arriving late but immediately had a change of heart when the two showed off their rings. Isabelle practically leapt in to hug her brother and so did Clary with Magnus. They all said their congratulations but no one could say they were surprised. With the way things are between Magnus and Alec it was just the natural progression of things but it was still something nice to see especially on Christmas Eve.

As Magnus had expected and have willed to happen, there were a lot of eyes on him as he walked inside the Institute with Alec holding his hand and Max nestled in his other arm. No one would dare state for too long but he noticed the side glances and whispers as they walked through. Whether they were bad or good whispers he didn't particularly care, it boosted his ego pretty well either way.

He and Alec approached Maryse and Robert first who were in the middle of a conversation with some of the Blackthorns. Maryse was quick to ask for Max when they got close which Magnus obliged to and passed his little blueberry into his grandma's arms. It was Alec who excused his parents for a moment and brought them aside to show them their engagement rings. Maryse looked like she was getting overwhelmed that Robert had to take Max from her while she hugged Alec tightly. Like the others, they weren't entirely surprised by it but the rings really did make all the difference.

When all was finally said and done, Magnus conjured up the mountain of presents that were sitting back in his living room. The presents were all lined up around the base of the Christmas tree for his friends and family to open up later when the other guests have left. He made sure to conjure up the gifts in the homes of the others who weren't able to make it there that night like Jocelyn and Luke who decided to stay in together. As well as Maia and Lily who had hosted a different kind of party for the werewolf pack and vampire clans.

At the Beth Israel Hospital, Catarina finally had time to take a break from cheering up the kids who were stuck there for Christmas. She sat on her own in the breakroom having a snack and some coffee using a mug that said "Why So Blue?". She was on her phone to check the messages she couldn't read earlier and most of them were typical holiday greetings. The one that stood out and brought a smile to her face was a photo greeting of Magnus and Alec showing their rings and Max floating on his own next to them with the caption, "Happy Holidays from the Lightwood-Banes".

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #max lightwood-bane #the mortal instruments #tmi fanfiction #tmi fanfic #river writes crap

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jincherie · 5 years

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tentacledipity | two

➛pairing: jimin x reader ➛genre: alien au, space au, soulmate au, wanted au, smut (coming) ➛rating: sfw ➛words: 6.6k ➛warnings: none! i think :) ➛notes: originally there was going to be more to this part but it was getting too long so I’ll be adding it to the next one instead! Hope you enjoy!

This tale starts, as any good fiction does, with a girl crash landing on a foreign planet. And, like any good fiction, it follows a theme of serendipitous happening, and tentacles. Behold, serendipity and tentacles— or dare we call it…. tentacledipity.

— posted; 22.12.2018 // ↞ prev. || two || next ↠

Two weeks into your time on Kilkhea, and you’d developed a culture of sorts with the apple of your eye, Jimin. You suspected he didn’t know how to handle you, your boldness or brazen, shameless flirting. You thought it was cute, the way he reacted—he usually blushed and stumbled, whether over his words or his feet, and then proceeded to make a quick escape as soon as possible. It was all very endearing, especially when he attempted to hide his fluster behind annoyance—you thought there was a word for it on earth, something along the lines of tsundere? Ugh, your heart was thudding away just thinking about it.

You were surprised and grateful that the Kelkie seemed to be willing to house you for as long as you needed or wanted—they’d offered to help repair your ship, since it hadn’t been totalled enough to be completely written off, and you’d gratefully accepted. However, in all honesty, you didn’t know exactly what you were going to do when it was fixed and ready to go. You’d spent most of your life in space, exploring, adventuring, making the most of your time and trying on each and every lifestyle you could get your hands on for one that would fit. No matter how much you enjoyed it at first, they all came to an end, and none of them sated the longing inside you, the want and desire for something you didn’t know yet, something that was more than what you currently had. You’d chased that feeling halfway across the galaxy, and never had it given you rest. But it was strange, as now, while you were here… you’d yet to feel the tell-tale urge to abscond, to flee, to pack up and move on. You were strangely satisfied, where you were, and the feeling, the idea of it… you weren’t sure how to process it.

You were a guest here, and were allowed to wander around, but due to an unfortunate…. circumstance, in which you wandered somewhere you shouldn’t and ended up breaking something you shouldn’t have been touching, you now had to leave your room with company—which, usually, came in the form of one of the humans you’d met, or Joy, but on the odd occasion that they were all busy or otherwise occupied, the duty fell to the two guards you’d met on your very first day here. Their names were Jongin and Jongdae, as you’d learnt from an impromptu interrogation the first time they’d been assigned to, well, babysit you. You liked them and the fact they already knew each other, and thought it was funny whenever they bickered relentlessly over the silliest things. To be fair, a lot of the time it was your innate shit-stirring ways that elicited such a scenario, but it was still funny and they never genuinely fought so you figured it was pretty harmless.

However, as much as you liked them, you couldn’t help the urge that rose within you to make a break for it the second their backs were turned—you’d lived your life thus far in a solitary manner, and at this stage it was your comfort zone as much as it was a reminder of the crippling loneliness you crossed the galaxy to flee. It wasn’t all that hard to slip beneath the radar of your babysitters, especially not when you left some baked goods from the kitchen on the table as a distraction. It was easier than it probably should have been to slip out the door and sneak away, and you would have felt slightly guilty for tricking them if you thought they were going to get into that much trouble. Neither Jimin nor Seokjin seemed the type to really punish them, though, so you were appeased in that sense and continued on your journey through the castle.

On this particular occasion, you’d gone as far as to plot how to get out, but you hadn’t really planned beyond that. You kind of wanted to check out the gardens and structures outside of the palace, but now that you were out… to be honest, you were a little hungry. Plus, you kind of wanted to explore the gardens with one of the humans you’d met and liked to think you’d become friends with—preferably Taehyung, because he was funny with the grudge he seemed intent on holding, or Namjoon, since he hadn’t been here that much longer than you but seemed to know everything there was to know about this planet and its rulers.

Back to the topic at hand, that being your stomach— one of the first places you’d become familiar with was the palace kitchens, admittedly with an ulterior motive in mind. You were, above all else, very much a woman who lived by her stomach. You weren’t scared of much, or even really scared of death, but if asked one of the most terrifying ways you could think to die was of starvation. A shudder rolled down your spine at the thought as you slipped down a familiar hallway, the route you were travelling being one you had committed to memory very early on. In all honesty, you truly liked the interior design of this place, the runes and patterns that belonged to the occupants of this planet exclusively. It was familiar, in a way, but also incredibly different to anything you’d ever seen and made something glow warmly in your chest upon each glimpse. You really liked it.

Thankfully for you, the trip to the kitchens from your room was not at all a long one. A part of you wondered if your guard friends had noticed your absence yet, and what they would do once they did. They’d probably flounder, then bicker a bit. The thought made you giggle.

Soon enough, the large obsidian double doors that marked the main entrance into the kitchen came into view and you were almost skipping for joy, already imagining the taste of the different foods you might find against your tongue. There was one dish in particular, a dessert you were pretty sure, that was a pretty blend of fuchsia and aquamarine, light and fluffy, and was absolutely delectable in its combination of salty and sweet flavours, with a hint of something else you couldn’t quite identify but loved nonetheless. That had to be your favourite of all the things you’d tried in your stay here, and that was a lot—especially with Joy indulging your every whim and fancy.

To your complete and utter surprise, it was that very person who greeted your eyes as you pushed open one massive door and stepped into the palace kitchens. Inky hair braided back into a low ponytail of sorts, with the rest of her locks falling in waves down her back; her tall figure and animated hand movements were unmistakeable even with her back to you as she spoke with one of the staff. You quite liked what she was wearing today—it reminded you of a pantsuit with slits up the legs and a slim slit down her spine. For a moment you simply admired how pretty she was, with her light golden-toned skin and raven hair contrasting with the deep crimson of the silken cloth. Gosh, at this point you were sure everyone on this planet had won the genetic lottery in some way, it was a bit unfair. It took all your might not to grow self-conscious where you stood in all your less-stunning, less-ethereal, painfully human glory. Sub-consciously, you adjusted the material of your own cropped shirt and flowing pants combo.

You overheard a brief snippet of the conversation, foreign words in a language that was completely unfamiliar to your ears washing over you. You had no idea what they were saying but you liked how it sounded, the clicks and rolling sound…. Hypnotic. You were loathe to break it up but were growing antsy where you stood, and so reluctantly made a move.

“Joy!” you burst loudly, making one of the chefs to your left jump and send you a prompt glare, marks across their face glowing an embarrassed, cherry red. You were quick to scuttle over the few feet remaining between you and Joy and throw your arms around her slim waist. “I missed you! You haven’t come to visit me in days! Weeks! Eons!”

To her credit, the powerful Kelkie woman didn’t flip her shit and attempt to pin you to the floor in self-defence as she had the first time you’d sprung your ridiculous dramatics upon her. No, at this point she was well-accustomed to your antics and barely even stiffened in your hold. The person she had been talking too seemed much more startled, however, if the sharp flinch and loud expletive in another tongue was anything to go by. Curious as to who you’d managed to garner such a reaction from, you swung your head around Joy to peek—and promptly grinned.

“You are awfully clingy,” Joy observed, amused, and you rested your chin on her shoulder, her airy voice tinkling melodiously in your ear. “You are lucky you are my favourite human.”

Jimin’s wide eyes were still stuck flicking between you and where you had your hold on Joy as you slipped your arms from around her waist, taking a step around her so you were by her side and moving the arm to sling around her shoulder. Your eyes swept over him, taking in the way his plush lips were parted and a silver choker gleamed around his throat to match the jewellery in his ears. He was a lot more surprised to see you than you might have pegged, but beggars couldn’t be choosers and you’d take any reaction you could get your grubby little hands on.

“I’m everyone’s favourite human,” you chirped, cupping your cheek with your free hand and batting your lashes at Jimin. The male pursed his lips, freckles flaring between pink and a flushed rose as his brows furrowed and he attempted to school his expression and mask his reaction.

“Where are your escorts, pesky little human?” he managed to ask, arms crossing over a firm chest and allowing you to see more of the rosy marks as silky material slipped from his arms; he was in a deep blue set today, edges lined with black and flecks of silver. You couldn’t help the giddy laugh that slipped from your throat—he was so cute when he pretended to be annoyed at you; there wasn’t a single ounce of bite behind his last few words. “I thought it was clear after that… mishap… that you were to be accompanied in your ventures at all times for the foreseeable future.”

“You did,” you let out a longing sigh, meeting his dark gaze and relishing in the way he shifted his weight from foot to foot, flustered. “But I missed you so much, I couldn’t bear to be apart from you any longer—so I tricked my guard-friends and snuck out.”

You could feel Joy’s shoulders trembling slightly beneath your arm, caught the grin she was trying to hide from the corner of your eye. Jimin’s galaxy of markings flared hot, blossom pink, his cheeks flushing to match, and he jerked suddenly, moving an arm and slapping a hand to his lower back. Your deviant gaze was, surprising no one, drawn straight to the way the material of his top was now taut against his hip bones and stomach. Gods, oh gods for why had this man been sent to test you so?

“You—”

“I will speak to the staff about those preparations you asked for,” Joy, ever the saving grace, was quick to interrupt the male before he did something dramatic in his fluster like choke on his own spit or finally choke you out for being so annoying. You wouldn’t even be mad if he did, you were kind of into that and also you really had been the most annoying brat lately so you knew you had it coming. “I remember Seokjin was looking for you earlier—I will allow you to attend to your duties; I will take care of this one in the meantime. Thank you for your time, Jimin.”

And then, with a smile brighter than that relentless, oversized gas giant the Kelkie called their sun, Joy gripped you by the ear and bowed slightly, before turning on her heel and effectively dragging you out of the room behind her.

“OW!” the noise of pain was torn out of you before you could stop it, one hand flying to see if it could ease the brutal grip the female had on your tender extremity. “You’re going to rip my whole ear off, Joy! I need that—wait!”

You stumbled as you angled your body back to face Jimin, who had something oddly akin to concern burning in the depths of his eyes. That look was quick to disappear at your next action, however.

“I’ll miss you!” you called in the best sing-song manner you could muster through your current level of pain, drawing the attention of most of the kitchen staff who looked on in a mix of curiosity and amusement. You brought your free hand to your lips and smacked them before flinging it away, blowing him a dramatic kiss. His mouth almost dropped open as you beamed, “Bye, Jimin!”

And then Joy yanked you out of the kitchens before you could catch his full reaction, tugging you out the door and down the hall from whence you came in a manner that was neither rough nor gentle. Part way along you journey you let out a whine and she released her grip, making you stumble slightly.

“Ah, Joy,” you lamented, rubbing your ear in the hopes to get the blood flowing once more. You hurried to catch up to her pace, pretending to ignore it when your stomach growled. “Did you have to cut my visit with my beloved so short? Oh, my aching heart.”

Joy snorted, letting out a loud, tinkling laugh that matched the pretty summer colours of her markings. Her long, inky hair swayed prettily as she turned to nail you with a sly look. “Cheeky human, you and I both know that you went into that kitchen for food and food alone. Seeing us there was a happy accident.”

Well, she had you there. You merely offered a sheepish grin in response and she laughed once more, slipper her arm to loop through yours.

“Now come, I have some snacks in my rooms. You can have some while I take your measurements—I had the most beautiful idea for a piece the other day, I think it will suit you splendidly!”

x x x x x x x x

It hadn’t been all that long since your encounter in the kitchen, really, but in that time you’d noticed a fair bit was going on in the background that you somehow hadn’t caught onto before. Although, that could just be because the buzz had picked up a little in speed lately. You were curious as to what exactly the staff of the palace were organising, but not yet bothered enough about it to begin asking questions. You supposed it was probably just some normal thing you were just overthinking it.

Besides that, you’d sadly also not seen Jimin since your brief escapade into the kitchen—you’d travelled there since, undeniably in the small hope you might see him there again, but had no such luck. Thankfully the kitchen staff had grown fond enough of you despite all your pestering that they were willing to feed you whenever you visited, usually in exchange for some stories of your time in space. For that, you were all too happy to oblige—you greatly enjoyed talking about yourself on the odd occasion, and Yoongi had said once that it was one of the reasons you got on so well with Seokjin. You’d gasped at the time, initially offended, but he was right of course.

Really, you were a charismatic being—you’d managed to befriend almost every single person you’d encountered here, despite the odd vexation that might result at your hands. Almost everyone, sans one person in particular who you didn’t quite know how to read.

Jimin might have given many varied reactions to your advances and comments, but you were still no closer to deciphering how he might have really felt. It was as though you were only scratching the surface, dragging your fingers through and rippling only the barest tip of his being. You itched to dig deeper, to delve into the depths that remained hidden from you for now. The urge surprised you, if you were being honest. You'd lived your life so far as untethered, mostly unaffected and unbothered by the events and situations that flew past you with each day. You were, in a word, carefree. Some might argue you were a little too insouciant in that regard, but comments like that tended to roll right off your shoulders. You were living this life for yourself, and your main goal was to live it to the best of your ability.

So when you were suddenly plagued with such a trivial urge as the one that found you now, a new constant humming in the back of your mind ever since you first met the raven haired male, you were a little alarmed and caught off guard. In short, you had no idea what to do, how to handle it— it had never happened to you, after all. You'd never really wanted for anything, and if you did then your self-indulgent ass was quick to go after it and get it. You were never stuck in a stage of longing, the limbo where hesitance made its home. So this... this was new, and you didn't know how to handle it.

So, you decided to just treat it like every other whim you'd ever gotten.

You wanted to know more about Jimin, the handsome Kelkie who had managed to capture your attention so completely and effortlessly despite all odds. So you decided that since, for whatever reason, it was something you wanted, you were going to indulge in that desire.

That little realisation was about all you'd manage to come to in the time since you'd seen Jimin last, and you were a little caught off guard to realise that you'd pretty much already been indulging in the urge this whole time. Your subconscious was getting a little too out of hand with her desires, you were going to have to pull rank and smack her back into line.

While sorting through your deepest, innermost thoughts might have been something ultimately beneficial, in the time and place you were currently doing it, it proved to be more risky than anything. You managed to return to the current moment just in the nick of time, narrowly avoiding a collision with a large, black marble column with mere split seconds to spare. The person who had been walking beside you this whole time let out a round of loud, howling laughter.

“My god!” Taehyung slapped his thigh, blonde hair ruffled from the force of his earth-rattling guffaws. “Can you do that again? Except actually walk into it this time. It’ll be so funny I promise.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, letting out a huff and strutting forward so you were ahead of him. It was for show, of course—if you’d really walked into a pole you might have passed gas from laughing so hard. Well, if you didn’t get a concussion straight up, that is. You didn’t know what exactly made up the palace walls but it was not to be trifled with, as you’d found out not too long into your stay here. A shudder travelled the length of your spine. If the Kelkie weren’t so advanced with their medicine you might still be sporting the end results of your match with a doorframe across your face. For reference, you won.

“I don’t live to entertain you,” you snipped, unable to keep your mouth from twitching since his laughter really was contagious. Why had you thought it was a good idea to bring him on your long-awaited venture to the gardens? It wasn’t a good idea, it was a terrible idea, and now you were stuck with him for probably the next hour or two. Rookie mistake.

“And yet here I am, laughing at your existence,” the male snickered, and let out another loud, choked laugh when you smacked his bicep in retaliation. Despite the fact he kept bringing up that shipment of cores you stole and interrogating you about the time you spent in your space pirate phase, the two of you had managed to get along quite well. Most of your time was spent bickering but to be honest you enjoyed it.

Thankfully for Taehyung, the appearance of the two large double doors he had promised led to the palace gardens saved him from any subsequent hits. Excitement bubbled within you—you’d not been outside much in your stay here and although you could see the stunning flora from the long, rectangular windows that lined halls and your rooms, it wasn’t the same as being there and really seeing it, feeling it, experiencing it for yourself. You rushed to get ahead and get out, pushing the doors open with all your might and letting out an overjoyed shout when they parted and allowed sweet, sweet sunshine to fall upon your form. Immediately, you felt a bit overheated, but you decided to put up with it for the sake of the adventure. You weren’t waiting any longer to see some plants and grass, damn it!

Unlike the wilderness and natural beauty of the forest and shrubbery that you’d been witness to the day you crashed and were escorted into the palace, the gardens were well kept and orderly, maintained meticulously and with great care. Despite this, there was something about the flora that was just as wild and beautiful as it was outside the walls—there was a path winding through the gardens, luminescent and fluorescent leaves and flowers winding and dangling overhead, hanging slightly over the path just barely a foot shy of the top of your head. Slim vines lined the dark stone of the path wall, tendrils winding and creeping and occasionally curling in a pretty manner across the lines and crevices. You could tell it was maintained, but the fact that the beauty of the planet could not be truly contained and the Kelkie knew better than to really attempt it made you happy for some reason. You’d seen the mess that Earth had become in the last century, humanity a blight that ran everything it got its grubby hands on into the ground. Earth’s environment was in shambles, ruined beyond measure in some places, because humanity didn’t know how to let go, to relinquish their attempts at controlling every aspect of their world. It had always saddened you, the sense of loss that came with the knowledge, but there wasn’t anything you could do to help it. The time to step in and prevent the damage had long since passed, and you were but a spectator to the steady decline of your home world.

It was for this reason, though, that you found yourself grinning almost ear-to-ear as you allowed yourself to finally take in your surroundings fully. You burst forward, away from Taehyung’s side, and let out a soft happy noise at the sight of a large, glimmering turquoise flower surrounded by glowing leaves and vines. It looked similar to bellora, a strain of the peony flower from earth that was taken and altered in space to amplify certain features before being crossbred with another plant from a foreign planet. The end result was a gorgeous flower that was toxic and emitted noxious fumes that damaged your lungs if inhaled, until it was ground and turned into the strong narcotic hallucinogenic drug bellexis. You were quite familiar with it, as you spent a lot of time handling it during your ‘intergalactic black market’ phase and then busting it in your ‘intergalactic defense and policing force’ phase. You weren’t lying when you said you had a lot of them.

“These are so pretty,” you commented, fingers reaching out to brush against the large, glowing petals. It had dots and flecks of bioluminescent colour that shifted with each soft touch of your fingers. “It’s a little weird seeing plants like this that are completely safe to be around—usually on Earth if it was brightly coloured and patterned, then it was dangerous.”

Taehyung let out a soft sound of surprise, having come to stand beside you at some point. He turned to you, and to your surprise there wasn’t a single trace of the usual playful or mocking edge in his eyes. “There are plants like this on Earth?”

You tilted your head, a sliver of confusion worming into your thoughts. “Well, not exactly like this—I don’t think there’s anything on Earth that glows and changes like this, save for a few select organisms I can’t currently remember…”

You bit your lip for a moment before deciding to ask anyway, “You’re from Earth too, aren’t you? How don’t you know this?”

Taehyung suddenly appeared slightly embarrassed, sheepish. He averted his gaze and reached to trail a finger along one of the large, broad leaves hanging over the path. You watched his Adam’s apple bob for a second before he spoke.

“I… didn’t really spend much time there,” he admitted, hand coming to rub the back of his neck. “When I was young, my friend and I—she’s the queen now, actually—were orphans, and taken in by the garrison. We… didn’t actually get to see much of the Earth at all, and although we learnt about plants and flora it was mostly for other planets and systems…”

You tried to stop your mouth from dropping open when he mentioned the Garrison but really couldn’t help yourself. You turned to face him, attempting to get a better look. He presented as entirely too harmless to be a part of the Garrison of all things so already you were in shock, but then his implication that his friend, the current Kelkie Queen, was too… perhaps you were reeling a bit. But now that you were taking a closer look though, you could see the hardened lines of his physique and the firm set to his jaw, the stern angle of his brows as he watched you watch him; you could see how there was merit to what he had told you.

“Woah,” you said, and Taehyung’s features shifted defensively, as though he was waiting for a mean comment to pass your lips next. “I wouldn’t have pegged it—you don’t really look like the warmongering type, if I’m being honest. And to be fair, I can’t really judge—I’ve done a lot of things in my time in space and several of them have been pretty… questionable.”

At this, Taehyung barked out a laugh despite himself, “God, you can’t just say that and leave it—what did you do?”

You fought the smile that came at the observation that he seemed a little relieved that your reaction hadn’t been a bad one. “It’s trade secret, I can’t tell you. I’d have to kill you right after.”

Taehyung let out a loud laugh, following as you moved to another plant that caught your eye. “You pain in the ass, you know that just makes me want to know more.”

You shrugged, leaning in to sniff a new flower this time. You couldn’t help your grin as you spoke next, “I don’t know… maybe ask Yoongi and Hoseok.”

Taehyung let out a squawk, the affronted sound pulling a cackle from your throat.

“You’ve been here for over a month, and you’re only just telling me now, but you already told them?!” he stomped over so you could see the displeasure on his face, although only half-hearted. “Where is the equality?”

“Well I mean, they asked so I told them…” In actuality, you hadn’t told them at all. Considering how long and how consistently you’d been shit-stirring Taehyung, you’d think he’d catch on quicker than this.

The male continued interrogating you, whining as you moved slowly through the garden, your own verbal jabs and retorts thrown in amongst your admiring of the plants that bloomed wildly either side of the path. This trip to the palace gardens was everything you’d expected and longed for, and more—you felt so pleased being around such beautiful life you almost didn’t know how to handle the feeling.

Taehyung had given up his yapping at some point and was now listing the occasional fact he’d learnt about the flora on this planet, like which flowers bloomed longest and which trees grew tallest. You thought that the palace gardens really must have had at least one of every plant on this planet, there were so many that lined the winding path. You followed it happily, a light feeling filling your chest as you did so. Not even the harsh, unrelenting heat of the sunrays against your bared skin could ruin this for you.

The entire time you’d been walking, you hadn’t seen anyone but the occasional guard or palace worker loitering along the path, the gardens serene in their almost emptiness. That changed, however, as you rounded a bend in the path in a surprising moment of silence and your ears quickly picked up the sound of an all-too-familiar voice. Your heart instantly skipped a beat in excitement, grin slipping onto your cheeks as you quickly caught sight of its source.

“Oh my god,” you barely managed to mutter, halting in your footsteps. Fuck, you were fading.

Jimin was bending slightly, hands gently touching a bright fuchsia flower that sat upon a short, dense bush as he spoke to the person next to him—who you quickly realised was actually Namjoon, bent slightly with what looked like a tablet in his grasp as he copied down what Jimin was telling him. Jimin’s mellifluous tone fell upon your ears like silk and honey, and you might have been caught up in it were your gaze not completely distracted by the sight of his plump behind and toned thighs as he bent to inspect the flower. God, oh gods this was too much you were just one woman—

“—these are krepa intrica, a flower that has traditionally been said to bring good fortune and soothe the soul with the scent of its pollen,” the raven-haired alien spoke, Namjoon rapidly tapping down everything he said. Jimin straightened and you were so caught up in staring at his ass and then the toned muscles of his back that you barely registered his words. “It is also meant to bless couples who are expecting. We will need to—”

It was as though you were suddenly possessed, the way you quickly moved forward and followed the first urge that entered your mind. By the time the male you’d set your sights on caught wind of your approaching footsteps, it was too late. You skipped up beside him, bringing your hand back and allowing it to swing forward and deliver a firm smack on his behind as you beamed.

“I’ve missed you, peach cheeks!” you sang, watching as Jimin jumped about a foot in the air and lurched away from you like you’d burnt him. Admittedly, a small pang of hurt shot through you at the action but you ignored it for the sake of sending the bewildered alien a bright smile. “It’s been so long since I last saw you one might think you were avoiding me!”

You’d only been playing, of course, but the flustered sputtering and stammering of the male didn’t exactly fill you with confidence. Once more, you pushed the resulting feeling away and ignored it for now—you were here to live your best life and that was what you were going to do.

To your surprise, Jimin jerked and slapped a hand to his lower back, as he had done the last time you saw him. Curiosity niggled at you when you noticed, but you didn’t get to investigate before he was speaking up, marks flushed cherry to match the hot pink staining his cheeks.

“I—you—” he swallowed, turning promptly to Namjoon; the many silver rings and earrings decorating his ear glimmered as they caught the light. “Namjoon, I will speak with you further on this at a later date.”

He then turned to you, dark eyes making your heart stutter and a rush of heat to flush over your body. He was already backing away as he spoke, “And you—g-go to your room. Taehyung, see to it that she gets there.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and made a quick escape, not uttering even the slightest goodbye. You might have been more bothered by it if your attention hadn’t been captured by the fluttering of Jimin’s shirt that looked just a little too unnatural to be the wind. It was as though there was something beneath, pushing against the material and moving under the surface. You didn’t get to continue looking before he rounded the corner, disappearing from sight, and Taehyung burst into laughter behind you.

“Oh my gods, you’re something else!” he was almost wheezing, bent over with his hands braced on his knees. “I’ve never seen him so flustered! You really even outdid yourself from last time—”

You blinked, turning and catching sight of Namjoon standing with one hand covering his mouth in an attempt to squash his own laughter, tablet pressed to his chest with the other.

“What did I do last time?” you asked, eager for a distraction from the slight weight in your chest. The shit you said to Jimin came with such ease you hardly remembered what flew from your mouth even seconds afterwards.

Taehyung guffawed loudly, the raucous sound booming across the gardens, and it was Namjoon who supplied an answer, biting his lip in an attempt to keep his own laughter in.

“I believe you made a play on words and inadvertently called him the quote-unquote alien man of your dreams,” he said, cheeks puffing as he increased his efforts not to join Taehyung in his chortling.

Recognition sparked in the back of your mind and you let out a soft noise of realisation. “Oh yeah, I did. That was after the first time I met you all, right?”

Namjoon nodded, and Taehyung finally calmed down and straightened once more. His whole body was lax and fluid as he moved, as though he’d just expelled all the tension held in his muscles with each booming wheeze that passed his lips.

“You’re a riot, y/n,” he said seriously, eyes still gleaming with mirth. “But come on, we better get you back to your room before he bursts a blood vessel or something.”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms despite the fact you already began to move and follow him. “Fine. But can we stop by the kitchens on the way back? I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry,” Namjoon finally laughed, long legs allowing him to join you with ease. “But so are we so lets go get something to eat.”

You clapped your hands, excited already, and were quick to take the lead and hurry back the way you came. “YES! Let’s go, I made friends with the pastry chef the other day and she said she was going to be making new stuff today!”

The other two let out noises of longing and approval, and began voicing which pastry they hoped it was. This, of course, brought on some bickering over which pastry was best, and you sat back with a grin, just there for the ride.

x x x

Just around the corner, a raven-haired male stood with his back against a thick shrub with many tiny violet blooms littering its surface. Their petals tickled his skin where it was bared as he stood as still as possible, raking in long, deep breaths in an attempt to cool his body and quell the urges and thoughts rising within him. He could still feel the persistent presence at his lower back in distinct places along either side of his spine; the slick feeling against his skin told him that his shirt had become a casualty in this instance. A sense of regret trickled to join the throbbing amalgamation of emotion within him, swirling in with confusion, fluster, embarrassment…longing.

This new human was proving to be more trouble than he anticipated.

She was playful, brazen, and Jimin himself liked to think that he wasn’t all that dissimilar in personality, yet with her nothing went as it should. With people like her, he knew how to respond, it came naturally and he built playful rapport easily. But when it was her… it was as though everything that came so easily and naturally to him went right out the window. There was something about her he had yet to pinpoint, something that lit his insides on fire and made tremors of longing travel down his spine. He didn’t know why she was different, why she of all people, of all beings, made him feel this way when no one had before. It wasn’t that she was human; he’d felt nothing of this sort for the current Queen, even before he found out she was Jungkook’s Fated One. It wasn’t that she was female—he’d been exposed to more than plenty throughout his life, she was most definitely not the first he ever met. It wasn’t anything he could strain his mind to think of, so what was it that made her so different?

Jimin brought a hand to scrub over his face, a trembling breath escaping through parted plush lips. He wasn’t one of those uptight Kelkie, the ones that refused to play or have fun at all with another before the emergence of their Fate Mark on their twenty-fifth birthday. Should someone he was attracted to in that manner appear in his life, then he would likely indulge himself—except there was no one as of yet that had ever tickled his fancy in that way. So, with such a personal philosophy, it should make sense that he would indulge the desires currently plaguing him, allow himself to play and have fun with the human that had caught his attention so. Except he couldn’t, because the sense of longing rising and swelling inside him with each time he saw her wasn’t just for her body.

It was for something much, much more— and honestly?

That scared him.

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lettersiarrange · 6 years

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Fashion rant here:

Any time someone gives me half a chance, I'm launching into my signature spiel about how most clothes are designed for skinny bodies, regardless of the size of the clothes. I will say, over and over again, that it's not good enough just to carry larger sizes (but please god carry larger sizes) but that clothes need to be designed *with curvy bodies in mind*

And I understand why some women get upset about clothing explicitly labeled to "hide problem areas" and whatnot, because no one's body is a problem! Bodies and fat are nothing to be ashamed of. But that doesn't change the fact that unfortunately most women are programmed from childhood to feel shame about their bodies, esp if they don't look a certain way. I applaud fat women who own their bodies and aren't interested in "flattering" clothing, but I think the reality is that most women don't have that level of confidence, and would, in fact, prefer to wear clothing that doesn't highlight areas where they're thicker. Unfortunately, most trendy women's clothing is designed for women with 0 body fat. (Don't get me wrong: there needs to be clothing that highlights how cute thin women are! But there also needs to be clothing that highlights how cute average women are. And fat women. And all women. I'm saying there needs to be trendy clothing designed for everyone, not just one specific body type)

Anyway, most of the time when I talk about this people just nod and smile with a vacant look in their eyes until I stop talking. It mostly makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist.

Anyway so one of my good friends has an ED. We were talking about her clothes the other day and I asked her what type of stuff is in her wardrobe. She tells me, to my horror, that she almost exclusively owns "measurement" clothes, that is: clothes she looks terrible in above a certain weight. It's not that the clothes are the wrong size, it's that the clothes are designed to highlight the parts of her body she's most sensitive about. It's how she "measures" how "successful" she's been: if she looks fine in them she's doing well, and if she looks bad in them then she needs to turn up the ED. **

And like, not to be controversial here, but if you're designing and selling a piece of clothing that starving women women can use to justify intensifying their starvation with then um... maybe you shouldn't be designing or selling clothing.

Its not even like my friend went out of her way to find stuff like this either-- she just walked into normal stores and bought normal looking clothes, knowing she'd loathe the way they made her look if she gained 2 pounds.

And my friend might be an intense case, but every woman has gone clothes shopping and tried on a piece of clothing that was the right size but didn't look good on them and thought: my body is the problem

Which is to say: destroy all clothing designed for coat hangers instead of women's bodies. Demand designers start designing clothes for women of all shapes, regardless of size. Demand designers start offering all sizes! Kill stores that only sell clothes that make women feel bad about themselves

Make it the norm to think critically about your clothes, not your body.

**later, we had a long conversation about how to identify clothes that look good on any shape and that will not make her feel bad about her body regardless of weight. We spent about 2 hours on it, and I had barely scratched the surface. The fact that identifying clothes that make you look good is a skill girls have to learn at all is infuriating. You shouldn't have to have an expert knowledge in fabrics, tailoring, and cuts just to be able to find clothes that don't make you hate your body.

#tw ed #tw ed behavior #tw ed mention #i have a lot to say on this subject obviously

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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From Pop! to Tabletop: The Best Funko Finds

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Ever since Funko popped onto the scene in 1998, the collectible company has gradually dominated bookshelves, desks, workspaces, and almost any surface their vinyl figures can fit. In addition to a uniquely distinctive look, and an accessible price point, the best part about the immensely popular Funko Pop! Vinyl figures in particular is that there is something for fans of nearly every pop culture franchise out there

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Buy the Funko Pop! Vinyl Marty in Jacket here

Pop! And Tee: Star Wars – The Mandalorian (Death Watch)

The Death Watch clan have, let’s say, a complicated, role when it comes to clashes about the future of Mandalorian society. But these keepers of the old faith of Mandalore did show up just in time to save foundling Din Djarin from Separatist forces. That alone is a pretty good reason to immortalize these warriors from The Clone Wars and The Mandalorian with a collectible combo featuring both a tee and vinyl figure. Jet pack not included.

Buy the Funko Pop! Death Watch vinyl figure and tee combo here

Funko Pop! Ride: Masters Of The Universe: Skeletor On Panthor (Flocked) Vinyl Figure

Tin-tongued dolts, metal-munching morons, flea-bitten furbrains, pathetic pitiful pinheads: Skeletor is surrounded by bumbling idiots and nincompoop employees. And then there is Panthor, his purple panther who doesn’t speak, but is the most loyal giant cat a villain on Eternia could ask for. And unlike Battle Cat, he doesn’t even need armor. This Funko Pop! Ride with a “flocked” fur Panthor brings these best baddy buddies to life.

Buy the Funko Pop! Ride Skeletor on Panthor vinyl figure here

Funko Pop! Vinyl: HALO: Master Chief With MA40 Assault Rifle In Hydro Deco Figure

When it comes to being the star of one of the best video game franchises of all time, Master Chief has earned the right to dress a little snazzy. And “snazzy” explains the United Nations Space Command hero’s duds in this Hydro Deco outfit. But Master Chief still means business with his MA40 assault rifle because a killer look is not enough to defeat The Covenant.

Buy the Funko Pop! Master Chief in Hydro Deco vinyl figure here

Funko Pop! Vinyl: WWE: Hulk Hogan Vinyl Figure

Hulkamaniacs know the power of 24-inch pythons can bring anyone down to size, and this Hulk Hogan Pop! does it quite literally. As the vinyl Hulkster tears off his shirt, you can almost hear the WWE icon say, “Brother,” encouraging you to get back to work.

Buy the Funko Pop! Hulk Hogan vinyl figure here

Funko Pop! Vinyl: Marvel Comics: Spider Armor MKIII Figure

Tony Stark is known for his nice suits, but Peter Parker is no slouch when it comes to having a collection of souped-up threads, or armor in this case. Designed for battling the Sinister Six within the Amazing Spider-Man comics, ol’ webhead’s armor is designed by Pete, and features customized weapons and defense mechanisms tailored to individual foes. It also looks pretty sweet, and Spidey only breaks it out for special occasions.

Buy the Funko Pop! Spider Armor MKIII vinyl figure here

Funko Pop! Vinyl: Marvel Studios WandaVision: Halloween Vision Figure

In the world of WandaVision on Disney+, a resurrected (or zombie?) Vision has to disguise his true form to hang out with his Westview neighbors, but when Halloween rolls around, he can just appear as himself — sorta. This Funko Pop! Vinyl figure taps into the buzzed-about series by showing Viz dressed in his comic-book costume for trick-r-treating. He looks a little concerned, but maybe he just wants some bubblegum for his cute jack-o-lantern bucket.

Buy the Funko Pop! WandaVision Halloween Vision vinyl figure here

Funko Games: Back To The Future: Back In Time

Funko Europe Exclusive

Great Scott! It is back to Hill Valley, 1955, in the BTTF-based game where up-to four time traveling players take on the characters of Marty, Doc Brown, Jennifer, and Einstein (using a DeLorean game piece), and must ensure George McFly and Lorraine Baines fall in love. Of course, even if they avoid Biff and his gang, players still need to cooperate to make it back to the clock tower on time to travel—say it with me—back to the future! And if they fail, the entire McFly family will fade from existence, which sounds pretty heavy.

Buy the Funko Games Back to the Future: Back in Time game here

Loungefly: Star Wars: The Mandalorian: The Child Cradle Mini Backpack

“Wherever I go, he goes,” and you can also go wherever with The Child in this Loungefly mini-backpack from The Mandalorian. The premium faux-leather pack is a fashionable piece inspired by Grogu’s floating cradle. And the little guy himself has got your back by looking out from behind with a cute little face and bright, wide eyes. Because he is always in the mood for a snack, the zipper is connected to a bite-sized frog attachment. Of course the pack carries stuff on the inside—and is lined with stylized Grogu illustrations and Aurebesh script—because bounty hunting is a complicated profession, but hauling your beskar ingots shouldn’t be.

Buy The Mandalorian “The Child” mini backpack from Loungefly here

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