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karazetian · 4 years

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What’s happening is that Disney is not doing its job.

I ended up doing an essay lol. I obviously appreciate someone reading it but given that is really lengthy, I don’t expect anyone to do so. I’m also not Asian so, there’s that. And my English leaves a lot to be desired (I corrected the orthography but I’m prone to grammar errors).

I do recommend checking out the sources I linked, especially 1 (youtube video made by a Chinese person), 2 and 3 (the descriptions are below).

I talk about what Disney is doing is not out of naive idleness. Idleness yes, but naivety no.

I keep thinking, where the hell did this movie go wrong? Because yes, this is not the first time nor the last time Disney is going to deliver a less than mediocre live-action remake, but, despite all of their track record, I still had hope for this one.

Because, while the other movies are classics, they had certain aspects that didn’t age perfectly, which it is understandable. Beauty and the Beast, although arguably the best Disney animated movie, had these “Stockholm Syndrome” connotations* (bear with me) and we also had to consider how much of Beast’s personality could stay in the remake (since he could have been read really wrong if he lashed out on Belle too much, not only because of his appearance but for the power dynamics of him being the one in calling the shots of Belle’s wellbeing, hope that made sense).

Cinderella could have made some* audiences criticize her for her apparent submissiveness, Aladdin is a whole can of worms in the subject of orientalism (which they kept in the remake, anyway), etc., etc.

*This is not the post to discuss whether or not Belle suffered Stockholm Syndrome during her movie, nor to discuss whether or not Cinderella was actually submissive in the original. Many people have already done that, my point in bringing that up is, Disney used that as an excuse to change scenes and plot in the remakes.

But Mulan, aside from minor problems that come from an American company writing an eastern story (and the values and trends present when the movie was made), had a very strong plot that still holds up to this day (I say that like the movie was made in the 30s lol).

Not only it is a “feminist” movie but also, the story is very well written and made, in my opinion. There was not a lot that you needed to change. The main character had already a well-rounded personality (unlike, for example, my girl Aurora), the story was already very rich, etc. The removal of Mushu (and the whole dragon symbolism), although sad, it’s understandable how it was necessary.

However, is not just the removal of important and nostalgic characters like Mushu or grandma Fa, but the removal of the soul of the movie.

Mulan 2020 is a soulless movie.

This is not unique to this remake, as this is not even unique to remakes, imo. But it is one of the most painful ones, because this movie meant a lot to a lot of women (and people) and the beauty of it all was that you didn’t need to be Chinese, or a woman, to appreciate it (that’s a good thing in the sense that is good when you can relate to a story, even if you don’t share some of the traits with the main character. Not that it’s good despite being the story of a Chinese woman, is that clear? Sorry if it’s not).

And it’s also painful because it could have been so easy to... not do that. Other people have already talk about this (and in a much briefer, better way) but yes, what made Mulan so great in the original was that she was your average girl, even worse because she lived in a very conservative society yet she managed to become a badass while, not only discovering who she was in the process, but also staying true to that. That was the reason she was great. She had flaws, she couldn’t adapt, she was the underdog but she, through her unwillingness to give up, her tenacity, wits and compassion, overcame that, eventually becoming a hero.

It was not because of her qì. Again, I’m not going to do a deep dive in that because others have already talked about how they made her a Chosen One. What I want to discuss is how sad it is that they went for that route and my confusion as to why they did it.

And I think it was more than laziness. It’s definitely a lack of motivation but, when you dwelve on it, I don’t think that laziness goes hand in hand with carelessness. But first, with the laziness, a google search would have made them see what progressive crowds now deem as feminist values. Both eastern and western crowds.

Because yeah, sure, I doubt the Chinese government is well versed in intersectional feminism. Yet, there are movies both the Chinese government and its people have liked and appreciated. Weren’t they the ones that, upon watching Kung Fu Panda said something like “how did we not come up with that?”

I saw this video made my Chinese youtuber Accented Cinema (links below: 1, I highly recommend watching it) and he even mentioned his school taking his class to watch the original movie in theaters. So, yeah, believe it or not, you can make a feminist movie set in a third world country (I also come from a third world country, sorry if this sounds like I’m being mean to Chinese people).

So, why did you not do your homework, Disney? Again, I understand they couldn’t have made the most leftist movie, not only because it’s Disney, but because they wanted to appeal to both governments, however, you could have made the remake be satisfying enough for that audience and the rest of the world. But they didn’t even satisfy the Chinese audience, with a lot of them saying how the movie reinforces ideologies the Chinese themselves have already moved on from (the “devotion to family” inscription in the sword has received a lot of criticisms: 2).

This means that they failed to do even the only thing they seemed to compromise on. You could have had still appealed to the government. That is to say, I don’t expect Disney to be the wokest of them all and go full anarchist on their movies because that’s not even what Disney wants anyway.

They could have still done some things that wouldn’t have anything to do with western or eastern values. For example, they could have given Mulan’s sister a personality. Giving your character one is not a western/Americanized value, it’s part of what means to make a well written story.

Without that, her character seems completely pointless. Seriously, I keep thinking what was the point of her character, besides being a disappointing replacement of the grandma. I’d like to think that she was the movie’s way to represent how more conservative values are still valid, if the woman chooses so. Her wanting to get married and have a traditional family doesn’t diminish her value as a person. They could have made a scene with the two sisters still being able to bond with each other, even if they had very different views of the world.

But since we never find out about her motivations or desires, it is left unknown whether this is what she chose for herself or if she is just another victim of her circumstances. And I ask myself why, since it could have been so easily to do that. You could have replaced the scene where kid Mulan is combing her sister’s hair (which, for what I can remember, only serves to further stablish the sister’s fear of spiders… which they make clear in other two scenes) if the movie’s duration was a problem.

Being left with no logical answers, I can only conclude that it was out of laziness. But it doesn’t end there, does it? Because I think “ok, so they were lazy, then they could have done what every lazy student does when they don’t have any motivation left and copy-pasted the original. Didn’t they do that with the Lion King already?”

And I get that it didn’t work with that one, but that’s because you shouldn’t somber up a movie that has anthropomorphic animals, that also heavily relied on being an animated movie. Mulan doesn’t rely on that; Mulan was inspired by a legend. Live-action Mulan had already been made with good results, so what couldn’t they have just copy pasted their own original? If they didn’t have the energy to give it a proper, well-made twist (i.e., Maleficent), the least they could have done is respect its predecessor.

But they took away all the things that made Mulan great in the first place, to made her what every writer will tell you not to do. Making her being born with extraordinary skills, which then results in her not having to work for her merits, is something even I, a nobody, knows not to do. I’m not even going to address how taking agency away from her sends the wrong message to the little girls that are going to see this sad excuse of a movie.

What I’m trying to say, it may not be comparable to a lazy student copying the homework of one of the most accomplished students, but it is as if they based their work on that, just butchering all the parts that made the accomplished student’s work good. And, unlike with the lazy student whose reasons might be justifiable, Disney had no excuse to do so, because it is their job.

It is their job to deliver a well written story or, if that’s too demanding, to at least make a movie with a happy-go feeling (is that grammatically correct?) that sends a well-meaning message. Instead, the message this movie (I would say, purposefully) delivers is that you can only accomplish great things if you’re born special.

Us, regular folks, especially regular women, especially regular women born in less than ideal circumstances, are doomed. And that’s what’s sad.

Links to sources used:

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZccG-wtt5FA&ab_channel=AccentedCinema

2. https://twitter.com/tony_zy/status/1302743527240142849

Why “boycott” Mulan 2020 (not only because of what the lead actress said):

3. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/09/07/why-disneys-new-mulan-is-scandal/

4. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/whats-happening-in-xinjiang-is-genocide/2020/07/06/cde3f9da-bfaa-11ea-9fdd-b7ac6b051dc8_story.html

5. What the actress did say: https://time.com/5653973/mulan-boycott-liu-yifei/

#if I did anything wrong #overstepped or assumed things that aren't true #let me know #but again #i know no one is going to read this #this movie had so much potential #but once again it was waisted #essay #in my opinion #disney remakes #disney #live action #live action movies #mulan 2020 #mulan #yifei liu #hollywood #essays

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ayellowcurtain · 5 years

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you could write Lucas and Eliott going on their many cute day dates and them running into Lucas dad??? Like I always imagined Lucas not keeping in touch with his dad after the text he sent him so if that's ur hc too

Can we see the rings in action maybe? Like in class when everyone asks them if they got engaged and at a party where a girl/guy hit on one of them, then sees the rings and be like "oh, nevermind"

---------------------------------------------------

They don’t really go to the movies because they can never agree on what to watch. But Lion King seems to be an easy decision for both of them and it’s been a long time since their last “date”.

Lucas was so excited during the movie, he would always tell Eliott if he remembered the scene. And Eliott kept teasing him about eating the whole bag of popcorn. The cinema was almost empty, it was a Wednesday afternoon and Eliott could only see some silhouettes disperse around the room.

On their way out of the movies, Lucas is trying to explain to Eliott one of the scenes they missed because of a small make out session they had but Lucas still remembers from the older version he used to watch when he was younger. He needs his empty hands apparently to explain it and when he’s about to throw the empty bag of popcorn in the trash, his hand bumps into someone else’s.

He turns to apologize but nothing comes out of his mouth when he looks up. Eliott only saw his dad in pictures and Lucas hasn’t talked to the guy in months. A woman approaches his dad, holding his hand and he looks at her then back to Lucas.

“Hi, Lucas.”

“Hi.” Lucas steps back so he can hold Eliott’s hand. His dad follows his movement, looking at their hands together. He looks back at Lucas and Eliott feels like Lucas’ dad is a stranger to both of them, there’s tension rising between father and son with each passing second.

“How are you? This is Isabel...” The blonde woman smiles and seems like she means it, shaking hands with Lucas and then with Eliott who introduces himself.

“I’m good, very good actually.” Eliott squeezes Lucas’ hand, he thinks Lucas should ask how his dad is doing as well but Lucas ignores his little hint, not bothering to ask.

“Good, I’m happy to hear it.”

There’s a long, very awkward silence between the two and Isabel tries to make a conversation again. She points to Eliott’s hand, giving them another smile.

“Are you two engaged?” So she knows about their relationship. Lucas’ dad doesn’t talk with him but definitely talks about him. But he’s the only one who seems bothered when he finally notices the rings on Lucas and Eliott’s hands.

“You’re engaged, Lucas?”

Eliott was going to answer to Isabel and on Lucas’ behalf to his dad but his boyfriend is quicker, he always has a response on the tip of his tongue if he needs it.

“Yes, we are. Eliott proposed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Oh my God! Congratulations!” Isabel seems very excited about it, hugging Eliott first and he just smiles and hugs her back, doesn’t have the balls to tell them the truth. Lucas and his dad are still looking at each other, but Lucas hugs Isabel back, thanking her.

“We’re actually also thinking about adopting a-”

“Lucas...” Eliott decides to finally intervene and everyone seems to notice right away that Lucas is not serious about it (yet).

“And how is your mom?”

“None of your business.”

“I’m trying, Lucas.”

“Don’t need to. You’re too late for that.” Isabel puts her other hand around Lucas’ dad arm, running it up and down quietly, clearly trying to make him drop it and leave his son alone.

There’s another very long second filled with awkwardness and Isabel tries to lighten the mood again by talking about how different Lucas is from the pictures that she saw of him, talking about how long his hair is now.

Eliott smiles, running his fingers through Lucas’ long hair.

“Yeah, I don’t let him cut it too short now.”

“It looks very good like this. I totally agree with you, Eliott.” He nods, kissing his boyfriend temple, trying to make him relax and forget about his dad that seems to have given up on creating a conversation with his son.

“He’s like a cat can only sleep with me combing his hair.”

“Ok, that’s not true.” Lucas finally turns his attention back to his boyfriend, looking up and his eyes are back to it’s normal, soft state when looking at Eliott. Eliott smiles, giving him a quick kiss on the lips and he looks at Lucas’ dad while doing it. “We should go, our friends are waiting for us.” Eliott just nods even though there’s nobody waiting for them.

“Yes, choupisson. It was nice to meet you guys.”

“It was a pleasure to finally meet you and you too, Lucas. You’re more than welcome to visit whenever you feel like it.” Eliott holds his boyfriend’s hand tighter again, trying to stop him from giving Isabel one of his sarcastic answers and it seems to work because Lucas just nods, already pulling Eliott away without even properly saying goodbye.

The bus stop is empty but Eliott pulls Lucas to sit on his lap, looking at him and his little one still seems angry.

“She seems nice.” Eliott tries and Lucas seems to come back to reality, looking at him for a second, nodding.

“Yeah, must be a fucking angel to be able to live with my dad.”

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m being honest, not mean.” Eliott laughs and his laughter seems to work for Lucas to relax a little, smiling and leaning back against Eliott.

“That’s why I don’t like fighting with you. Don’t want that part of you against me ‘cuz I know I’ll lose, always.”

#skam france #elu fic #Lucas Lallemant #eliott demaury

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theanimefreak12345-blog · 5 years

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The soundtrack of my life so far

Sweet Child Of Mine-Guns N Roses

Take on me- A-ha

Don't stop believin'- Journey

More than a feeling-Boston

Enter Sandman-Metallica

Dumb-Nirvana

Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen

I wanna know what love is- Foreigner

Dark side of the moon-Pink Floyd

Far away-Nickelback

Janie's got a gun-Aerosmith

Simple man- Shinedown

Snuff-slipknot

Voodoo- Godsmack

Fuck Authority- Pennywise

Be Tommorow- Madlife

Hey Jude-The Beatles

Hotel California-The Eagles

Satisfaction-The Rolling Stones

Stayin' Alive-The Bee Gees

Stairway to Heaven -Led Zeppelin

Free Bird- Lynyrd Skynyrd

Pour some sugar on me- Def Leppard

Money for Nothing- Dire Straits

You shook me all night long-AC/DC

War-Guess who

Wake me up when September ends-Green Day

Scars-Papa Roach

Unwell-Matchbox 20

Learn to fly-Foo Fighters

Fat lip-Sum 41

Bored to Death- Blink-182

You sexy thing-Hot chocolate

Africa-Toto

Hash pipe- Weezer

Lick it up-KISS

Shout-The Isley Brothers

Let it be me-The Everly Brothers

Can't you see-Marshall Tucker Band

Paranoid-Black Sabbath

I wanna rock-Twisted sister

Please stay-The Drifters

Yakety Yak- The Coasters

The house of the rising sun-The Animals

I'm a believer-The Monkees

Turn!Turn!Turn!-The Byrds

Zombie-The Cranberries

Rock around the clock-Bill Haley and the Comets

Maybe Baby- Buddy Holly and the Crickets

Free Fallin'- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Monday Monday-The mamas and the papas

Dust in the wind-Kansas

Never been to Spain-Three Dog night

Nights in White Satin- The Moody Blues

Accidentally in love- Counting Crows

Crying Lightning-Arctic Monkeys

People are strange-The Doors

I know it's over-The Smiths

Full time Cutie-Summertime Dropouts

Odds Are-Barenaked Ladies

Addicted-Saving Abel

Puzzle Pieces-Framing Hanley

I can see for miles-The who

Should I stay or should I go-The Clash

Don't fear the reaper-Blue Oyster Cult

Roxanne-The Police

Sugar, we're going down-Fall Out boy

Demons-Imagine Dragons

Migraine-Twenty One Pilots

I'm not okay-My chemical Romance

The Strays-Sleeping with Sirens

My Girl-The Temptations

Blue-The Birthday Massacre

Bounce-System Of A Down

The Greatest show Unearthed-Creature Feature

Bodies-Drowning Pool

I don't wanna die-Hollywood Undead

Weightless-All time Low

Animal I have become-Three Days Grace

Take it out on me-Thousand foot Krutch

Amnesia-5 Seconds of Summer

You don't know you're beautiful-One direction

Secrets-One Republic

She will be loved-Maroon 5

Animal-Neon Trees

Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol

Battle Scars-Paradise Fears

Hey there Delilah-Plain white T's

Why don't you love me-Hot Chelle Rae

Pumped up Kicks-Foster the people

Stereo Hearts-Gym class Heroes

First-Cold war Kids

Bones exposed-Of mice and men

I of the storm-Of monsters and men

Take it all back-Judah and the lion

Little lion man-Mumford and sons

Use somebody-Kings of Leon

Miserable at Best-Mayday Parade

Nice guys finish last-Cobra starship

Stutter-Marianas Trench

Shadows-Breathe Carolina

Welcome to my Life-Simple Plan

Crawl-Breaking Benjamin

Alone in a Room-Asking Alexandria

Sad song-We the kings

Voices-Motionless in white

For the likes of you-Woe is me

Forgive and Forget-Miss may I

Machines-Crown the Empire

Broken Heart-Escape the Fate

Iris-The Goo Goo Dolls

Shut me Up-Mindless self Indulgence

Immortal Love-Vampires Everywhere

Bewitched-Blood on the Dance Floor

Can you feel my heart-Bring me the Horizon

Wake me up before you go-go: Wham!

How to save a life-The Fray

Break even-The Script

Mr. Brightside-The Killers

Dead Hearts-The Stars

Born for this-The Score

Sweater Weather-The Neighborhood

Unsteady-XAmbassadors

Ho hey-The Lumineers

Say Something-A great Big World

Why-Rascal Flatts

Stay-Florida Georgia Line

If I die young-The Band Perry

Monster-Skillet

Carnivore-Starset

Broken-Seether

Faceless-Red

The scientist-Coldplay

Hated-Beartooth

Madness-Muse

We are young-fun

Pompeii-Bastille

50 ways to say goodbye-Train

Let her go-Passenger

Scream-Get scared

Good left Undone-Rise Against

Frozen-Within Temptation

Zombie-Bad wolves

Unstable-Chaotica

I don't care-Apocalyptica

Starstrukk- 3oh!3

Thank you-MKTO

I can't breathe-Dead By April

I will follow you into the dark-Death Cab For Cutie

Cute without the E-Taking back Sunday

No way Out-Bullet for my Valentine

Jekyll and Hyde-Five finger death punch

Hospitality-Funeral for a Friend

La la Lainey-Forever the sickest kids

Rescue me-Hawthorne Heights

It hurts-Angels and Airwaves

Do not Resuscitate-Icarus the Owl

Don't threaten me with a good time-Panic!at the disco

Fashionably Late-Falling In Reverse

The kill-30 seconds to Mars

Hero/Heroine-Boys like Girls

Lithium-Evanescence

Cool kids-Echosmith

still into you-Paramore

Love bites(so do I)-Halestorm

Kill everybody-Skrillex

Technologic-Daftpunk

It's my life-Bon Jovi

I, Dementia-Whitechapel

This is now-Hatebreed

I ran-A flock of seagulls

Darling-Eyes set to kill

Alive and kicking-Simple minds

Laid so low-Tears for fears

Castle of glass-Linkin Park

Behind blue eyes-Limp bizkit

with or without you-U2

Hostage-Chelsea Grin

The Anthem-Good Charlotte

Do better-Say anything

Bite to break skin-Senses Fail

Alive-P.O.D.

Snow Cats-AFI

Cheatercheaterbestfriendeater-Nevershoutnever

The taste of ink-The Used

Outside-Staind

Headstrong-Trapt

Door to Door Cannibals-Chevelle

Wolf-First Aid kit

Monster-Meg and Dia

All Star-Smash Mouth

The Middle-Jimmy Eat World

Blurry-Puddle of Mudd

Stacy's mom-Fountains of Wayne

The bitch song-Bowling for Soup

Flavor of the weak-American Hi-fi

The Sky Under The Sea- Pierce the Veil

In the end-Black veil brides

I'm already gone-A day to remember

Fuck away the pain-Divide the day

Bruises and bite marks-Good with Grenades

Shake it-Metro Station

Feel good Inc.-Gorillaz

Just a girl-No doubt

Heroes-The Wallflowers

Intergalactic-Beastie boys

Get down-Backstreet boys

Psycho killer-Talking Heads

Butterfly-Screaming Trees

Useless-Panic Era

Juicebox-The strokes

creep-Radiohead

Wake up-Rage against the machine

Can't stop-Red hot chili peppers

Nutshell-Alice in chains

Loser- 3 doors down

Hurt- Nine Inch nails

End of the world as we know it-REM

Arms wide open-Creed

Sorry-Buckcherry

Halfway Gone-Lifehouse

Ocean Avenue-Yellowcard

Bug Bytes-Alien Ant Farm

Adorable-Artist Vs. Poet

Survivor-Destiny's child

Hey ya-OutKast

Angel with a shotgun-The cab

You're gonna go far, kid-The offspring

Too many words-sick puppies

Kickstart my heart-Motley crue

Wide awake-Audioslave

Love hurts-Incubus

Prison sex-Tool

Take me-Korn

Don't go away-Oasis

Bartender-Rehab

Paralyzer-Finger 11

Inhale-Stone sour

Bloodclot- Rancid

Click click Boom-Saliva

Just because-Jane's Addiction

Sick Fiction-Jamie's Elsewhere

Bruised-Jack's Mannequin

Down-Stone Temple Pilots

We exist- Arcade Fire

Feathers-A perfect Circle

Trailer Trash-Modest Mouse

The Lovecats-The cure

Amber-311

Dear God-Avenged sevenfold

We're going to be friends-7 nation army

Hold me down-Motion city soundtrack

Steady as she goes-The raconteurs

Bad Decisions-2 Door cinema Club

Zero-yeah yeah yeahs

Lips Of An Angel-Hinder

In my head-Queens of the Stone Age

welcome home-coheed and cambria

Limelight-Rush

That's all-Genesis

Stormy clouds-The verve

Pom poms-Jonas brothers

Muzzle-Smashing Pumpkins

Holiday-Vampire weekend

Out of time-Blur

Toy Box-Insane clown posse

Dead skin mask-Slayer

Tornado of souls-Megadeth

To bid you farewell-Opeth

God of Emptiness-Morbid Angel

Little secrets-Passion pit

You enjoy myself-Phish

Mutilated lips-Ween

Sick of you-cake

Doll parts-Hole

White room-Cream

Trouble-Cage the Elephant

Eventually-Tame Impala

I've given up on you-Real Friends

Wonder-Honey water

Cherry-Moose Blood

Communist daughter-Neutral milk hotel

I am a nightmare-Brand new

Howlin' for you-The black keys

Meadowlarks-fleet foxes

Spiders-Wilco

Shut up and dance-Walk the Moon

Face down-red jumpsuit apparatus

Chainsaw-Family Force 5

Knife party-The Deftones

No hope-The vaccines

Get out-CHVRCHES

Colors bleed-Pop evil

Make me wanna die-The pretty reckless

I'll be ok-Nothing More

Legs-ZZ Top

Big Bad wolf-In this moment

Lights out-Royal blood

Sex-The 1975

God's not dead-The Newsboys

Don't stop-Fleetwood mac

Lie to me-Depeche Mode

You're the one-Greta van fleet

broken-lovelytheband

Please come in-Black stone Cherry

Daddy-Badflower

Are you bored yet-Wallows

Picture this-Blondie

Hallowed be thy name-Iron maiden

Rock you like a hurricane-Scorpions

Killed by death-Motorhead

Walk-Pantera

Every rose has its thorn-Poison

I wanna be sedated-The ramones

Bye bye beautiful-Nightwish

Liar- Sex pistols

Infectious- Imminence

Signs-Captives

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putschki1969 · 6 years

Photo

Wakana in Concert with the Roma Italia Symphony Orchestra – Live Report

Okay, here’s my report. This time I didn’t want to wait too long since I was scared I would forget all about the details. Without further ado, let’s get to it.

First of all I wanna say one thing: WOW! Just WOW! This was a PERFECT live. I will be honest, I had my doubts when I first heard that this concert wasn’t just about Wakana. When they announced that Ryu Masaki would be joining I was quite bummed and felt a little cheated. Then Wakana announced in her latest blogpost that Mana Ogawa would be joining the live too and I was like “eh?? Why are you doing this to me? I thought this was a Wakana concert and not an ensemble live!!“ Turns out I needn’t have worried. While Ryu Masaki got to sing a handful of songs this was most definitely Wakana’s show (I actually feel kind abad for Ryu Masaki fans who attended the live). And Mana Ogawa was more of a backup singer to be honest (and she only appeared during two songs).

Overall thoughts on Wakana’s vocals: Flawless. For me she was honestly flawless. Yes, her breathing was still there and quite noticeable at that but that’s just part of her charm I think. Fans love her breathing and I think YK likes it too or she wouldn’t keep it in the studio recordings. But aside from that Wakana really slayed. She has never sounded better in my opinion. The arrangments were slowed down quite a bit so she never was out of breath and she got the chance to really hold her notes. Her voice was so strong and pure and perfect and she hit pretty much each and every note (even during believe which has never happened as far as I can remember!). She didn’t use her airy/flimsy/breathy voice once. At times she was a bit quiet compared to the orchestra but I only really noticed it in one song and even there it wasn't too bad (Jupiter). Not sure if the orcestra was just super loud here or if Wakana wasn’t feeling confident with a new song but at any rate, she got used to it suoe quickly and then she slayed. Wakana was BORN to sing like this, with dramatic orchestral arrangements. She didn’t strain her voice once and even though she sang quite a lot of songs in a row she didn’t seem to sweat at all. She obviously had a lot of fun and you could tell that she was well-rested. I am so glad she got to take a break. It was such a pleasure to see her this refreshed and happy. Now let’s start with the live itself

First Half

01. Nuovo Cinema Paradiso Theme This was an instrumental piece and it perfectly showcased the skills of the orchestra. I had never heard of this piece before (apparently it’s from an Italian movie by famous composer Ennio Morricone) but I immediately fell in love with it. Check out this version on youtube, it’s pretty much the same arrangement that was played during the concert with the violin in the lead). Very lovely and the orchestra already conveyed an epic feeling. I couldn’t wait to hear it in combination with Wakana’s voice. After this overture Wakana came on stage. She looked absolutely gorgeous wearing a white strapless dress with black glittery details in the waist area. The material and cut were more or less the same as the second dress which she changed into in the second half of the live (the white one had a tighter/sexier fit though). The picture below doesn’t do justice to Wakana’s actual dress. Wakana’s dress had a bigger bustier part and made her boobs look huge XD The black details didn't span such a big area on Wakana’s dress, it really was mostly concentrated on the waist area. While this looks like lace, it was definitely not lacey on Wakana’s dress, it was beaded. Sorry, I can’t explain it better.

02. Oblivious They changed the arrangement a lot for this one. They left out the ahhhhhh parts (why?? that would have sounded awesome and Wakana would have ruled!) and they slowed the song down quite a bit. Wakana had three (or was it four?) chorus singers supporting her during certain parts to make the song feel more epic (and to replace Keiko’s parts). On this note I wanna say that the back-up singers did an amazing job, they didn’t intervene too much (the focus was 100% on Wakana’s voice) but they definitely elevated the performance. I think out of all songs this might have been my least favourite performance. Simply because it didn’t feel like the new arrangement made the song any better. The oomph factor was missing and it seemed like the orchestra didn't have much to do. But still, Wakana rocked the stage! Overall, one of my least favourite performances that night.

03. Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku My dreams have come true. I have been to heaven and come back. This was perfection. UTTER PERFECTION. I have honestly no words to describe it. All I know is that I can die happy now. There were no supporting singers for this one here. Just Wakana and the orchestra. It was more or less the acoustic arrangement from the re/oblivious single but better. I never liked the first half of that song because the chorus felt anti-climactic (do I make sense?) but here she sang the first half just like the second half. The strings in this one killed me. So utterly gorgeous (comparable to the Christmas Live version but so much more epic and grande! Just check out the X-Mas version and fast forward to the “mezameta asa...” line and you will know what I am talking about) And Wakana’s voice was just so rich and beautiful, I couldn’t stop crying the entire time. THANK YOU SO MUCH WAKANA FOR SINGING THIS SONG!

04. Kizuato I have never been a huge fan of this song but the orchestral arrangement made it so much better in my opinion. Especially towards the end I had goosepumps because the song just kept building up. Here Wakana was supported by back-up singers again. It’s funny how they used a male singer to replace some of Keiko’s parts XD. Also, I don’t know how to explain it. The back-up singers didn’t sing all the Hikaru/Keiko parts, they just added a bit of flare here and there. For the most part, the arrangement was changed so that Wakana was able to sing all the parts. Oh, I forgot to mention, poor Wakana forgot her lines during the second verse, there was an awkward silence for two seconds or something but then she caught on quickly and dealt with it professionally. I think it must have been one of Keiko’s lines.

Ryu Masaki Part I will say that she really amazed me. I listened to a couple of her songs before the live so I kinda knew what to expect but still, she is an amazing singer! My Heart will Go on and I don’t Wanna Miss a Thing are two of my all time favourite movie tracks and she sang them so freaking well. And then there was Shadowland from the Lion King musical. So beautiful! I didn’t know the other songs but she pretty much gained a new fan this night. Great performer!!

Second Half

05. Jupiter After Ryu Masaki had sung six songs in total there was a 20 minute break. Then Wakana appeared on stage again wearing the blue dress we have all seen on the pictures. And along with her came Mana Ogawa in the cutest pink dress ever. Together they performed one of my most loved non-Kalafina songs. Jupiter! This is originally a classical piece by Gustav Holst but Ayaka Hirahara made a song out of it. Wakana and Mana’s version wasn’t quite as epic as Ayaka’s but it is SUPER hard to reach that level of epicness. Also, I felt like in this song the voices got a bit drowned by the orchestra but only at certain times. It wasn’t bad or anything but it wasn’t perfect either. Wakana slayed throughout the entire song though. It’s HARD to sing an Ayaka Hirahara song but she nailed it. She kinda adapted Ayaka’s singing style (in a similar fashion that Keiko adapted Ayaka’s style during their performance of Kawaii Hana). I can’t really explain what’s so special about Ayaka’s singing style, she has that way of belting her lines and making her voice vibrate (ughhh, I wish had better words for it). Anyways, Wakana did a great job at using certain elements of that style and incorporated them in her own style. The result: a pretty epic sounding Wakana. On a side note, OMG, Mana was so good too. I had no idea she was so skilled. Her voice went together so well with Wakana’s. They complemented each other in a great way.

06. Mizu no Akashi YESSSSSSS!!!!!! This is THE Wakana song! I am so freaking glad she decided to sing it. Mana joined her for this one too but she mostly did back-up singing (so nice!!) and sang a few lines. Mana harmonises so well with Wakana, it was a lovely combination. I don’t know what else to say about it. They stayed true to the original arrangment but of course they added a little oomph here and there. More strings can never hurt, right? Once again, tears everywhere. I feel like Wakana got a bit teary-eyed too for a moment but I could be wrong. I was sitting quite far away from the stage.

07. Hokage Ahhhhhhh! You probably know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. I know most people don’t care for it but it is actually my favourite song on the far on the water album. And wow, they used the chorus singers in a nice way here. In the beginning, they were chanting and creating the melody with their voices. So pretty!! This song already has a gorgeous strings arrangement but once again, the added instruments made everything SO MUCH BETTER.

08. Natsu no Asa Out of all Kalafina summer songs I didn’t expect Wakana to sing this particular song but wow, I am glad she did. The first part was sung completely acaplla. Once again the back-up singers did an amazing job creating the melody. Kinda reminiscent of FictionJunction’s silent moon. In the second half of the song, the orchestra joined in and this honestly became one of the most beautiful songs of the evening. The atmosphere was perfect and the song really fits the current season. So lovely!!

09. Ashita no Keshiki Obviously I already knew this was going to be performed so it wasn’t really a surprise like all the other songs. But hey, that didn’t diminish my enjoyment of the performance one bit. Wakana sounded solid in the 9+ONE version but here she was just flawless. The kajiurago part was sung beautifully by the chorus people and all the whle Wakana was making eye-contact with as many people in the audience as possible. Her smile was blinding. This was probably one of the more reserved performances of the night where the orchestra didn’t get so much to do but still, very lovely

10. I Have a Dream If you loved their Blue Day performance then you would have loved this version even more. The strings were just so gorgeous. The Blue Day version already has a very lovely and elaborate strings arrangement that’s different to the original version but here they added a lot more grandness to it. One of my faves from this night. Utterly perfect! In the MC before the song Wakana talked about how this song is very reminiscent of a refreshing summer wind.

11. Believe I have never understood the hate that this song gets. Quite frankly I really like it and I have always been a fan of the strings in this one. I am such a sucker for the strings in the beginning and at the end. And boy, let me tell you, they really upped the ante, the strings in this version were SOOO EPIC (especially at the end)!!! It was like listening to a majestic symphonic piece. Probably my favourite orchestral arrangement of the evening. And Wakana didn’t struggle at all even though she sang literally all the parts by herself. I feel like she always struggles during this song, she also struggled quite a bit during the 9+ONE version even though that also had an acoustic arrangment (which is the reason I couldn’t enjoy it 100%) but here she knocked it out of the park. Absolutely stunning. One of my favourite performance of the night

12. Hikari no Yukue Like Mizu no Akashi I had hoped this song would make it into the setlist and YES, here it was!! I mean, if there is one song that needs to be performed by an orchestra then it is THIS ONE! And boy, this definitely didn’t disappoint. No words for the epicness of this performance.

13. Yume no Daichi While it is not my favourite RHH song, I think it was perfect for Wakana’s concert tonight. And once again, the new arrangement added so much to the song. From now on all Kalafina songs should be performed by an orchestra :P This is probably the song where I missed Keiko the most (don’t know why).

14. Musunde Hiraku She thanked the fans for always supporting her and having her back. Without us she couldn't have made it this far. This song was meant to convey her gratitude for us. Probably the most upbeat and lighthearted performance of the night. Wakana is so obviously in love with this song (check out my translation of the fotw Special Final MCs to find out her thoughts about it). Her love was strongly conveyed in this performance. She was walking back and forth on stage, waving to everyone in the audiece, showing us her radiant smile. Perfection!!

This was the last song and everyone began clapping for an encore but instead of Wakana, Ryu Masaki came back on stage to perform her final song (another solid performance!). And THEN it was time for Wakana to return! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o))) She thanked everyone for coming and then she announced her very first solo tour. She was all like, “you probably all wonder when it is gonna take place. Maybe next year? Nope, next MONTH actually! XD“ Then she said that her FINAL song was written by herself. She came up with the lyrics and she admitted that it was very hard. The song is called Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni which loosely translates to On a Night that Transcends Time. By the way, this also relates to the title of her upcoming tour -Toki wo Koeru/Transcending Time-

15. Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni A GORGEOUS ballad if there ever was one. My memory is already fading but I definitely loved it. I suck at understanding lyrics so I can’t tell you what the song was actually about but believe me when I say it was beautiful. It felt like an old-school ballad, something from the 90s maybe. I wish I knew how to explain it better but I can’t. Wakana actually got a standing ovation afterwards (although there were some people who refused to stand up *grumbles*).

Okay, that’s a wrap for me tonight. I can’t think straight any longer. Too tired. All in all I will say that this concert was worth EVERY penny I spent on this trip. Along with the Hikaru Birthday Event and all my trips to different places this was the BEST holiday ever. I didn’t see any cameras so I doubt there will be a DVD/BD release for this but maybe, just maybe they recorded the audio of this live. I would buy that CD in a heartbeat. Personally I think they did a great job arranging the songs in a way they are suited for a solo performer. I wonder who actually did the orchestral arrangements because damn, they were SO GOOD!!! In some cases the back-up singers provided the necessary support and in other cases the orchestra provided the different melodies that are usually sung by Hikaru/Keiko. All songs felt wholesome, I didn’t feel like anything was missing and Wakana slayed throughout the concert. She shone brigther than a star and while she was a bit awkward during the MCs she was incredibly strong and confident during her live performances.

#kalafina #report #wakana #wakana in concert #wakana solo tour #long text post

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upontheshelfreviews · 5 years

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If there’s a reason why we’re able to recall the story of Snow White from memory, and why said princess is usually depicted with short hair, a cute bow and surrounded by woodland fauna, look no further than Disney. Their take on the Grimms’ fairy tale is the prime example of pop cultural osmosis. Even if you’ve never watched Disney’s Snow White, it’s easy to recognize when a piece of work is borrowing from it or spoofing it. And I can definitely see why – not only is it going eighty-plus years strong, but its influence on nearly every Disney feature to come after it is a profound one.

The real story of Disney’s Snow White begins in the early 1910’s when a young Walt Disney saw a silent film version of the Grimms’ fairytale starring Marguerite Clark. The movie stuck with him well into adulthood. One night, well after he had established himself as an animation giant the world over, Walt gathered his entire staff of animators and storymen and re-enacted the tale for them in a mesmerizing one-man show. They were enraptured, but what he told them next struck them dumb – they were going to take what he performed and turn it into a full-length film.

In Tony Goldmark’s epic(ally hilarious) retrospective of Epcot, he performs a quick sketch he summed up as “Walt Disney’s entire career in 55 seconds” where Walt presents his career-defining ideas to a myopic businessman capable of only saying “You fool, that’ll never work!”. Considering how animation is everywhere today, it’s easy to forget that an animated film was once seen as an impossible dream. The press hawked Snow White as “Disney’s Folly”, and Hollywood speculated that it would bankrupt the Mouse House. It very nearly did. Miraculously, a private showing of the half-finished feature to a banking firm impressed the investors enough to ensure its completion.

Snow White is touted as the very first animated movie – admittedly something of a lie on Disney’s behalf. Europe and Russia were experimenting with feature-length animation decades before Walt gave it a try. But consider this: most animated films predating Snow White’s conception are either sadly lost to us or barely count as such by just crossing the hour mark. With all the hard work poured into it showing in every scene, with each moment displaying a new breakthrough in the medium, Snow White might as well be the first completely animated movie after all. Hell, it’s the very first movie in the entire history of cinema that was created using STORYBOARDS. A tool used by virtually every single movie put out today. If that’s not groundbreaking enough, I don’t know what is.

But is Snow White really…but why does it…can it…

“You know what? No. I’m not doing this teasing question thing before the review starts proper. OF COURSE Snow White is a masterpiece. OF COURSE most of it holds up. Let’s skip the middleman so I can explain why.”

After the opening credits we get the first of what will be many Disney leather bound books opening themselves to invite us into the world of the story. We’re informed that once upon a time there was a particularly Wicked Queen (nicknamed Grimhilde in promo features and the comics) who had a serious narcissistic personality disorder. Every day she consults her Magic Mirror™ to see who’s the fairest one of all and takes pride in being repeatedly told she holds said title. In the meantime she bullies her younger, prettier stepdaughter, the princess Snow White, and gives her the standard Cinderella treatment in the hopes that endless drudgery will wipe out the competition.

One fateful morning, however, the Mirror informs the Queen that she’s been bumped down to runner-up. She susses out that it’s Snow White who’s taken her place after the Mirror describes the newcomer as having “lips red as the rose, hair black as ebony, [and] skin white as snow”, but maybe the Queen is projecting here due to her extreme jealousy. Going by those three traits the Mirror could be describing almost anyone on the planet.

Care to narrow it down a bit, buddy?

Now if you consider yourself a feminist or at the very least have progressive views regarding women, I know what you’re thinking – just another example of the patriarchy pitting shallow female stereotypes against each other, right? Well in a manner of speaking, yes. There’s plenty of evidence that the Brothers Grimm held some odious misogynistic beliefs that stemmed from a bad combination of the era they lived in, outdated religious teachings, and their own experiences with the opposite sex. It shows in their second fairy tale revisions – the heroines are naïve bimbos in need of a man’s rescue, and the villains are evil stepmothers and witches who happen to be hideous 99% of the time – and those views have been reinforced in our society thanks to those particular iterations being passed down to today.

Here’s my way of viewing the central conflict: The Mirror’s news is a wake-up call that Snow White is coming into her own as a woman and princess. That means marriage to a prince and the end of the Wicked Queen’s rule. Snow White will have all the power and adulation while the Queen is forced to step down and become another footnote in ancient royal history. Up until now the Queen has gone out of her way put down her pretty young opponent with petty cruelty because there’s nothing stopping her; but when faced with the inevitable, she unflinchingly opts to take more drastic measures so she can keep the throne.

If it weren’t for the fact the Queen’s unofficial moniker is Grimhilde and her transformation scene reveals a head of black hair, I’d suspect her real name was Cersei Lannister.

You also have to remember that the Queen takes the term “fairest” at face value. The Queen is beautiful, sure, but it’s a glacial beauty – cold, unfeeling, and nothing beneath the surface. All she cares about is looks and power. You’d have to be a pure loving soul or Woody Allen find something worthwhile in her. Snow White is beautiful too, though it’s her kindness and fair treatment of everyone that garners her the title of “fairest one of all”, not her appearance.

Speaking of, we follow that scene with Snow White (Adriana Casselotti) dressed in rags cleaning the castle courtyard. She shows her bird friends her wishing well and sings “I’m Wishing”, where she reveals her wish for her one true love to show up.

Confession time: In childhood the title of my favorite Disney princess was neck and neck between Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Snow White. I’ve already discussed at length why I adore Belle, so I suppose I should do the same for Snow.

…turns out it’s more difficult than I thought.

For as long as I could remember, I was surrounded by Snow White paraphernalia – tapes, toys, dolls, music, games, artwork, bed sheets, I can even recall the ice show. Snow White is ingrained into my early years. It more than likely has to do with the timing of its brief return to theaters and first VHS release between 1993 and 1994, right at the peak of the Disney Renaissance, so I experienced Snow White-mania right alongside Lion King-mania, Beauty and the Beast-mania and various other Disneymanias that were rampant at that time.

Even this one, embarrassingly.

As a result, I idolized Snow White as much the other princesses of the time, right down to making her the character I dressed up as the most for Halloween. I suppose what drew me to her was inherent kindness, ability to make friends with everyone, and her voice. Yes, I admit it. I don’t find Snow White’s warbling to be as irritating as everyone says it is. Maybe I’ve listened to it so much that I’ve grown immune. Then again I am that one Disney fan who doesn’t loathe It’s A Small World with every fiber of their being so maybe I should question my own tastes more.

Now as an adult with a critical eye who can put nostalgia behind me when necessary, is there something more to the character of Snow White that’s worth appreciating as much as the more-fleshed out princesses of the Renaissance and current Revival period?

I accept that I’m in the minority on this one, but I firmly say yes.

I know what you’re thinking – all Snow White does is smile and sing while she slaves under the Queen and the dwarfs and dreams of a handsome man to come carry her away, so I should turn in my feminist card for daring to suggest she’s a good character and role model for girls, right? Consider this: like Cinderella after her, Snow White’s happy nature and songs are her ways of coping with her unpleasant situation. It keeps her spirits up and in turn she tries to spread that positivity to others who need it as well. She refuses to let the Queen’s negativity turn her as sour as she is. All the little things Snow White reveals in what she does – her patience, pride in her work, healthy emotional balance, drive to help others, and warmth towards those smaller than her (in both a figurative and literal sense) – are all signs that she is capable of being a far better and beloved ruler and all around person than the Queen is. Plus, her reason for wanting to find love is two-fold: not only is she looking for someone with whom she can share a unique emotional understanding bond – which is something most every human craves – but it’s the also best possible means for her to escape from her stepmother’s abuse. Like I said earlier, once Snow White gets the ring, she gets to rule.

And what’s wrong with having a princess who can run a practical household? One could argue that it’s an example of traditional female roles desired by an oppressive patriarchal society on full display, but you want to know why millennials are called out for being lazy? Because baby boomers have cut out classes that teach things young adults actually need outside of school like how to properly cook and do laundry and pay your taxes since those weren’t seen as “essential enough to education”. So I have to admire a princess who, while not the most “progressive” of the bunch by today’s standards, is willing and able take care of herself and others when it comes to basic everyday needs. I think TheBrutallyHonestMom summed it up best in her post defending Snow White:

When we denigrate what Snow White accomplishes at the dwarfs’ cottage, when we rename her accomplishments to make them sound more impressive, more official, more valuable—management, administration, domestic CEO, sous chef, hospitality specialist—what we are really doing is saying that we don’t value the truly valuable work that she and so many other stay-at-home individuals do. Those words are a microaggression against what have traditionally been feminine roles, an attempt to align them with a patriarchal worldview where only those with the biggest titles and fattest paychecks matter. Snow White is domestic. She is a maid. She is a mother figure. She does take on the womanliest of the womanly roles. To claim that adopting these roles (and being good at them) somehow makes her a poor role model for my daughters is not a failure of Snow White’s imagination. It is a failure of ours.

Then there’s the matter of her actress too, which I can’t stay silent about. A few years ago it was revealed that in order to preserve the illusion of Snow White as a real character (a good many years before the company applied that same logic to their character performers at the theme parks I might add), Disney forced Adriana Casselotti to forego her screen credit and never take on another acting role again, essentially robbing her of a career. She only managed to appear in It’s A Wonderful Life and The Wizard of Oz because hers were uncredited minute parts. Casselotti had no regrets about choosing Snow White over a promising show business vocation, but I still call bull on the matter. If this kind of thing happened today, people would not stand for it, character illusions or not. There’s also crazy double standards since all the actors who played the dwarfs got to keep on acting; Sneezy’s voice actor was in Fun and Fancy Free for crying out loud! I love ya Walt, but that is one dick move. So if you’re a detractor cheering that you never have to hear Casselotti’s voice beyond this movie, keep in mind that’s all because of one man silencing her for the sake of his business.

So, Snow White. She cooks, cleans, delegates, teaches, loves, domestically kicks ass, and her behind the scenes story makes a strong case for the Time’s Up movement. Any questions?

“Yes. You’re over 2000 words in and we haven’t even gotten to the dwarfs yet. Plan on getting off that soapbox sometime this decade?”

Snow’s singing attracts the attention of a handsome Prince (Harry Stockwell) passing by on his horse. But his forwardness startles the shy girl and sends her sprinting up to her room. He charms her out to her balcony by singing his one song in the feature…”One Song”. You gotta love it when the title matches the tune perfectly.

“Wherefore art thou Prince? Deny thy father and refuse thy name!”

“Sure I’ll gladly refuse my name – if I had one, that is.”

All joking aside, I have a soft spot for this scene. Stockwell’s voice has this old-time Broadway/operetta quality I’ve always liked, the lyrics are unironic purple prose that still feel genuine, Snow’s little excited gestures are adorable, and it’s framed beautifully. This is what got it into my heard early on that the most romantic gesture anyone can make is serenading someone from beneath their balcony.

“Too bad you’re technically in a long distance relationship.”

“I know. Propping up a phone beneath your window just doesn’t have the same effect.”

Snow returns his affections with a kiss delivered via a dove and departs the scene with one hell of a pair of bedroom eyes, especially for a Disney character.

Daaaaaamn, girl! You already got him hooked, no need to gild the lily!

Unbeknownst to either of them, the Queen is watching overhead; Snow catching the eye of Prince Charming is what finally pushes her to take further action. She summons her Huntsman –

– to bring Snow White out into the forest and do away with her. Brief as this scene may be, there are two things I really like about it. First, the gravity. The Huntsman reacts with horror on being told what he must do, foreshadowing his eventual turnaround, yet with an icy hiss of “Silence!” and a short reminder of the price of failure, the Queen goads him back into line. We don’t know what the penalty for insubordination is, but it’s implied to be pretty nasty if she’s able to convince him otherwise with just a few words. Second, the Queen’s other demand. In the original fairytale, the Queen requested Snow White’s liver, lungs and heart so she could eat them and inherit her stepdaughter’s comely attributes.

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But here in the film, she only wants the heart, and not for lunch. The Queen wants to keep it as a trophy. She even has a disturbingly appropriate box for it at the ready.

Proof that she really puts the ‘grim’ in ‘Grimhilde’.

Snow White, now dressed in her iconic yellow and blue dress, goes out flower picking with the Huntsman waiting not far behind. She spies a lost baby bird, and the moment she turns her back to help it, the Huntsman moves in for the kill. It’s framed like the murderer creeping up to their next victim in a scary movie, slowly building up to the moment he confronts her, with tension you could cut with a – well, you know.

Ultimately the Huntsman is moved by the princess’ humanity and can’t go through with the deed. Instead he reveals the Queen’s plot and pleads her to run, run away, Snow, and never return. Terrified, Snow White flees into the forest where her fears magnify her surroundings. Brambles become gnarled outstretched hands, logs are hungry snapping crocodiles, and there are eyes everywhere, always watching, boring into her every place she turns.

I should note that while developing Snow White, the Disney studio became something of an art college with fine arts and film study classes offered to the staff in order to hone their craft. Some of the movies they studied were horror flicks from the pre-Hays Code era, classics directed by the likes of James Whale and F.W. Murnau. The results speak for themselves. Scenes like this and the Queen’s transformation are why I consider Snow White my very first horror movie. The frightening imagery and darker themes all hide beneath a veneer of Disney childhood innocence. Like a proto-Pan’s Labyrinth, the terror as much psychological as it is fantastical.

A young Sam Raimi watched this and vowed one day he’d make those trees even more terrifying and bad-touchy.

This scene is also the source of one of the most famous stories to come out of the film’s creation. During the planning of the part where Snow falls backwards through an open-mouthed cavern into a lake, one of the animators cried out in terror “Won’t that kill her??” And the whole room fell silent. They reached the point where they no longer thought of Snow White as a cartoon but as an actual person, something that had never happened before. That was the moment where they were officially, as Ben Vereen once put it, on the right track.

Overwhelmed, Snow White collapses in tears. She’s brought back to her senses by the usual cuddly forest inhabitants inexplicably drawn to female royalty in need of assistance. Of course, being the ever-thoughtful soul that she is, Snow apologizes for startling them and making a fuss over how afraid she was, once more putting others before herself. She bonds with the animals through the uplifting “With a Smile and a Song”. Then she spends several minutes talking to them and making plans for the future all in rhyme. I confess it’s one of the weaker moments of the movie, showing that the studio’s transition from the Silly Symphonies to full-fledged filmmaking hasn’t completely been made yet.

The critters lead Snow to a quaint cottage in need of a good cleaning service. Assuming the miniature-sized furniture means the inhabitants are orphaned children, she decides to surprise them by sprucing up the joint, hoping her act of kindness will make them forget her breaking and entering and they’ll let her stay. Said cleanup time is underscored by one of the more upbeat tunes in Disney’s songbook, “Whistle While You Work”. Like Mary Poppin’s “A Spoonful of Sugar” it’s all about finding joy in the little things that make the work go by quicker.

“Here’s the last of the underwear, Bambi. And try not leave any ticks in the laundry this time!”

But as we all know, the cottage belongs not to seven children, but seven little people who work as jewel miners, all the while singing that famous mining song –

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“No, the one sung by dwarves.”

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“Seriously?!”

All joking aside, Heigh-Ho is the best song in the movie, no contest. Easily the catchiest tune here if not the entire Disney canon. If it can keep a theater full of gremlins occupied, it’s doing something right.

Sure, they whistle while they work for now. But once they find the Arkenstone it’s all downhill from here.

And let’s not kid ourselves, the dwarfs are the real reason why we keep returning to Snow White. Their quirk-matching names and designs make each one memorable, they’re endlessly entertaining, and they’re the characters that come the closest to having some form of arc. The group is a prime example of the illusion of life that is animation, exaggerated to a degree that they’re still believable in their movements and mannerisms. Dopey especially works well in this regard, a wonder considering much of his character was developed by happy accident. When an actor suitable enough couldn’t be found, they made the decision to simply mute him. Like much of Disney’s favorite animal sidekicks, they based his personality around that of a lovable dog, though I’d be lying if I didn’t see some Harpo Marx in there as well. As a result, his childlike playfulness and comic timing is up there with Chaplin’s Little Tramp. His hitch step was also an unexpected boon; after animator Frank Thomas put it in one of his scenes, Walt liked it so much that he insisted all previously animated footage of Dopey be redone to include that step. Incidentally, Frank’s popularity among the animation staff reached all-time lows after that announcement.

Snow White flops down for a quick nap on the beds upstairs just as the dwarfs return home. What follows is them sneaking about their now suspiciously squeaky-clean cottage and further establishing their personas through a series of finely-tuned gags (Walt paid five dollars for every good joke his guys could come up with, and this was when five dollars could take you out to dinner and a show). Dopey is elected to check the bedroom and he comes to the conclusion that Snow’s sleeping form is a monster. The dwarfs work up their courage to go kill the beast themselves only to realize in the nick of time that it’s just a harmless girl. But Grumpy, the clear-cut misogynist in the group, isn’t keen on having a “wicked-wiled” female refugee in their abode and shamelessly yells “Let ‘er wake up, she don’t belong here no-how!”

Snow wakes up and instantly charms over everyone except Grumpy as they introduce each other. The dwarfs are shocked and terrified to learn the Queen has put a hit out on her. Grumpy in particular declares the Queen is a powerful witch skilled in the black arts, which is true, and it raises a potent question. Is her magic common knowledge throughout the kingdom, or is it mere speculation? If it’s the former, how did that come to be? What happened to Snow White’s father the king anyhow? All this could make for a very interesting –

“You know what, never mind, forget I said it -“

“Too late! Jenkins, write that down! Bob’s gonna love it!”

“Very good, sir. Shall I pre-heat your crack pipe in preparation for the first draft writing session?”

“Does the Academy loathe streaming services? Hop to it, my man!”

“Hey, I thought you left that jerk to go work for Don Bluth.”

“Shh! I jumped ship after A Troll in Central Park and came back under a new identity. I couldn’t pass up the bankroll Disney’s been on since 2009.”

“Mum’s the word.”

Grumpy’s certain that they’ll be in the Queen’s crosshairs once she learns they’ve been harboring Snow White and demands they kick her out at once. But Snow White stands up for herself and says she can take care of the house for them if they let her stay. Just like Belle offering herself in her father’s place, no one corners Snow into the position of housekeeper. She’s the one who puts herself out there, listing all her best qualities like she’s on an interview. It’s only when she does so (and also mentions she can bake a mean gooseberry pie) that the dwarfs overrule Grumpy and declare she’s welcome in their home.

Yet even when all is said and done, Snow makes it clear that if she’s the one doing the work, then the dwarfs must play by her rules. Immediately following their acceptance, she goes into full Team Mom mode, insisting they improve their manners and wash themselves before dinner’s ready. Doc attempts to get around it by saying they cleaned up “recently”, but despite her sweet nature, Snow won’t let them walk all over her. She does a cleanliness inspection that makes the dwarfs almost as bashful as Bashful himself, and even gets a good bit of sarcasm in (“Why Doc, I’m surprised.”) The dwarfs washing themselves is another one of those Silly Symphony-esque filler scenes, but at least it gives us more time for their fun shenanigans; though I have to wonder if dog piling Grumpy and half-drowning him takes it too far.

“Where’s the money, Legrumpski? Where’s the fucking money??” “It’s down there somewhere, lemme take another look.”

Back at the castle, the Queen is showing off her newly acquired bodily organ to the Magic Mirror while demanding he validate her preconceptions of who’s fair and who’s not. Alas, the Mirror tattles on Snow White’s location and reveals that heart belonged to a pig, which I’ve got to say I’m glad they didn’t show how the Huntsman got ahold of.

Infuriated, the Queen storms down to her secret lab (and no, there’s no wrong lever scene. I’m disappointed too). She brews up a potion made up of ingredients like scream of fright, a thunderbolt and partially hydrogenated dimethylpolysiloxane which will completely transform her into a disguise nobody could suspect her in, an aged peddler woman.

Was I afraid of this scene way back when? Of course, but it was one of those rare moments where I didn’t want to look away either. Here we have a woman dangerously obsessed with beauty becoming the very thing she loathes in order to sate her implacable desires. Not only that but in this disguise she’s able to set loose the insanity buried deep beneath her frigid calculating exterior, grinning and cackling like the witch that she is. The Queen never smiles once when she’s in her true form. But once she’s the old Hag and it’s all cackling and gap-toothed smiles, it’s extremely unnerving.

Case in point.

“Anyone else miss the creepy fade to black where the villain’s eyes remain for a few seconds? Disney needs to bring that back.”

Major props to Lucille LaVerne, who gives a bone chilling and utterly unrecognizable performance as BOTH the Queen and the Hag. She made the switch from one role to the next by removing her false teeth between recording sessions. In doing so she gave us one of the great Disney villain performances.

The part where she preps the infamous poisoned apple does undercut some of her menace, however. The Hag is supposed to be sharing her scheming with a cowardly raven, but due to how much she stares directly into the camera while monologuing, it comes off as directly addressing the audience, like we’re watching her in a play. It’s not just the Silly Symphony style of storytelling creeping in, it’s melodramatic semi-vaudevillian theatrics that early Hollywood was moving well away from at this point. And again, what’s with the sudden speaking in rhyme?

At the last moment the Hag looks up a possible antidote to the poison and learns that it’s Love’s First Kiss. However she scoffs at the notion that Snow White can be saved because she’s counting on the dwarfs believing the princess is dead and burying her alive.

“For those of you who claim Disney waters down fairy tales into saccharine pap, I point you to Snow White.”

And it doesn’t end there. As the Hag leaves the dungeons, she passes a cell where a skeleton is sprawled out between the bars, reaching for a water pitcher. It’s bad enough to imagine this poor soul dying of thirst, spending their last moments with salvation just out of their grasp, but the Hag openly mocks the skeleton and kicks the pitcher aside. If that’s not a deciding irredeemably evil factor moment, it comes pretty darn close.

This would have also tied into an important but ultimately scrapped sequence where the Queen kidnaps the Prince, locks him in the dungeon to keep him from saving Snow White and torments him by detailing her elaborate scheme.

This sounds vaguely familiar…

Depending on which pitch you’re reading, the Prince refuses the Queen’s offer of marriage, and she enchants the chained-up skeletons of other scorned suitors to dance in an extremely misguided attempt keep him entertained while she’s out, or floods the dungeon to drown him. He makes a daring escape and rides to the rescue on horseback.

Again, vaguely familiar…

Unfortunately we had to wait twenty-plus years for this to happen because the animators weren’t confident in their abilities to create a believable male character. This is why the Prince appears only in the beginning and the end of the movie (and by extension why the Cinderella’s Prince is barely in that feature as well). When it came to making Snow White look realistic, they subtly incorporated some rotoscoping in a few places (I’d call it cheating but it’s difficult to tell where it begins or ends because she looks that good eighty years later). But I guess it just wasn’t worth the effort to do the same for her love interest, who doesn’t even get the dignity of an official name (fans go back and forth between Florian and Ferdinand). He’s reduced to a deus ex machina – which to be fair is exactly how he was treated in the fairytale. The movie has the slight advantage over that, however, by setting him up before he arrives for that wake-up kiss.

“And now it’s time for Silly Songs With Happy, the part of the review where Happy comes out and sings a silly song. Today’s interlude, appropriately titled “The Silly Song”, features choreography which has gone on to inspire many other Disney musical sequences dating as far ahead as the 70’s.”

“Hold it!! It’s just the exact same movements with the Robin Hood cast grafted over them!”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Well…no…it’s just a bit distracting when you finally notice it. I mean I love Disney’s Robin Hood, but boy did they take the main character’s attitude towards stealing to heart when it came to the animation.”

And yes, “The Silly Song” itself is fun too. It’s one of the less remembered Disney tunes, though I have fond memories of it due to its inclusion in the Sing-Along video lineup. The decision to have it follow the Hag’s unsettling introduction makes perfect sense; I could imagine audiences experiencing it for the first time needed a bit of a breather after that.

I guess I should mention the musical number we could have had instead of this one, though. “Music in Your Soup” was a similarly lighthearted song that was fully recorded and animated before it was ultimately cut. It was expertly animated, featured more dwarf-Snow White interactions, and it also closed up a plot hole involving a bar of soap Dopey swallowed earlier. Still, it didn’t add much to the story overall and it disrupted the flow, and keeping both that and “The Silly Song” would have been superfluous; so as much as I like “Music In Your Soup” I think they made the right call in sticking with “The Silly Song”.

After the dancing, Snow regales the dwarfs with a love story, though they quickly figure out she’s talking about herself and her prince. She dispenses with the self-insert fanfiction and sings the movie’s eleven o’clock number “Someday My Prince Will Come”. Bawl all you want about setting women’s rights back a decade, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a lovely song, even without Casselotti’s vocals. In fact, much of the movie’s soundtrack has been a go-to for jazz artists through the decades ranging from Miles Davis to Dave Brubeck. The pure simplicity of Larry Morey’s lyrics and Frank Churchill’s melodies are ripe for riffing on. Virtually every cover I’ve found succeeds in the impossible task of measuring up to the original in some capacity. The action in the song itself is subtle and restrained, mainly focusing on the dwarfs’ reactions. It’s not only good storytelling, but a clever way to get around showing more of Snow White than the animators could handle; she was already tough enough to animate even with rotoscoping.

Snow realizes how late it’s getting and ushers the dwarfs to bed; however Doc and the others try to behave like gentlemen and allow her to sleep upstairs while they take up whatever space they can fill on the lower floor. It goes to show how much her kindness and politeness has had an influence on them, at least while she’s around. Them taking up whatever sleeping space they can find on the ground floor is an excuse to squeeze more gags in, but I’m fond of how it lets us wind down and take in this cozy atmosphere.

The next morning before they head out the dwarfs warn Snow White to beware of strangers. Even Grumpy can’t help but show concern in his own gruff tsundere way. It’s little touches like this that reveal Snow White’s unwavering compassion is chipping away at his chauvinist attitude and he really does care about her after all –

Hang on, they couldn’t spare ONE dwarf to stick around and keep an eye out in case the Queen does drop by? They’re really think the Queen isn’t going to make another murder attempt as soon as possible? They sadly must, because no sooner do the dwarfs heigh-ho off to work than the Hag creeps up like a meth user turned Jehovah’s Witness.

“Hello, my name is Elder Grim. Would you care to learn more about our lord and savior Chernabog?”

After the animals fail to communicate the obvious danger, they fetch the dwarfs for help. Meanwhile the Hag has convinced Snow White to let her into the cottage and show off her “magic wishing apple”.

Already I can hear the slapping of a thousand facepalms through my screen. I get why, but there’s something about the situation that feels strangely relatable. The Queen is fully aware of Snow White’s gentle, trusting nature and knows how to take full advantage of the girl. Snow isn’t all smiles and open arms though. There’s a split second of regret the moment she divulges she’s by herself, and as the Hag literally corners her into tasting the poison apple her body language gives away how uncomfortable she is. Even the cottage itself grows darker and claustrophobic, mirroring her trapped state. Snow White knows there’s definitely something off about this stranger, but there’s the downside of her kind personality. She can’t bring herself to kick the old lady out no matter how wrong this scenario inherently feels.

“Just keep smiling and slowly reach for the mace.”

Ultimately the Hag coaxes her into tasting the apple. Every breath leading up to it is dramatically intercut with the dwarfs led by Grumpy (further proof Snow White really has gotten through to the old softie) racing back to the cottage.

Do you want to know why the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is considered one of the scariest movies of all time? Because for all its promise of a gory spectacular, the violence is deliberately kept offscreen. Our imaginations fill in the blanks and come up with even worse terrors than they could possibly show. Snow White’s poisoning works on that logic. All we hear is her gasping and groaning as the Hag gleefully looks on, ending with the most cinematic shot of the film.

If you’re still convinced Snow’s a dunce for biting the big apple, trust me, it’s a vast improvement over the original. The Queen showed up in disguise three times to kill Snow White with varying methods: strangulation by laces, a poisoned comb, and of course the apple. This was cut down to the last one for obvious reasons – not only would the story be repetitive and extremely padded if they remained, but it makes Snow White look like an idiot for falling for the same trap thrice in a row. The only time I’ve ever seen the inclusion of all three murder attempts work is in the anime The Legend of Snow White (which despite the laughably bad English dub is worth checking out). By the time the Queen comes around with the apple in that instance, Snow White is well aware of who she’s dealing with. But she plays along because the Queen has turned the kingdom to stone, and the only way to break the curse is by taking the bait and destroying her staff while she thinks she’s down, thus turning what was once an act of naivete into a heroic sacrifice.

The Hag exits the cottage feeling confident in who’s the fairest now just in time for the dwarfs to show up. They chase her through a thunderstorm up a cliff side. Literally trapped between a rock and a hard place, she attempts to dislodge a boulder and crush her pursuers. But Zeus is having none of that and a lightning bolt strikes the cliff, plummeting the Hag to her doom.

To quote Linkara, “Thus the origin for ‘Rocks fall, everybody dies’.”

And in case you’re still thinking she could have survived that drop, even with that boulder tilting over after her, the vultures that have been tailing her since she left the castle begin circling lower and lower over the place where she now lies. A chilling, subtle way to show they’re getting a meal after all.

We fade to a wake the dwarfs are holding for Snow White, complete with organ music and weeping – LOTS of sad, silent, motionless weeping. Poor Grumpy gets the worst of it. One can only imagine the tsunami of emotion he must have felt coming home to see that she was making a pie just for him. Like “Someday My Prince Will Come” it shows how restraint can be an asset in acting for animation. Considering how it’s very much like a real-life wake and just how much everyone believes Snow White is truly dead, this was a tough scene to get through.

The seasons pass and we’re told through title cards that the dwarfs couldn’t find it in themselves to bury Snow White, so they built a glass coffin and kept constant vigil along with the depressed forest animals.

“Clearly the idea of watching her slowly decompose over time never crossed their little minds.”

The funeral on top of the wake keeps piling on the sadness. We’re used to animated features moving us to tears, but you have to remember for audiences back then this was an entirely new experience because no animation dared to get this heavy. Think about it: Shirley Temple, Charlie Chaplin, the best and the brightest of Hollywood who poo-pooed Walt for his ridiculous idea – all moved to tears over Snow White. I can only imagine the satisfaction Walt must have felt hearing their sobbing at the premiere. Again, going back to that animator who felt genuine fear for her safety, the audience developed an emotional bond with the character just as they would for a real human on screen.

The Prince FINALLY shows up again still singing his One Song. Believing the love he has long searched for to be lost to him forever, he says his final farewell by bestowing her with Love’s First Kiss.

“Ah – “

“If you make ONE necrophilia joke, I swear I’ll take all the Adam Sandler movies off the Shelf.”

“Please, no!! I’ll have nothing to fully snark at!!”

The kiss does its work and Snow White awakens none the worse for wear. And since what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, she’s immune to all poison ingested via deciduous fruit now. That’ll make ruling the kingdom she’s inherited from her stepmother and disappeared father much easier. And for those of you complaining how a magical kiss is a cop out, trust me, it’s better than how the original fairytale resolved it.

“Somewhere my love lies sleeping, and here she is! I’ll pay you dwarfs anything to let me take her back to my castle and keep her there as a memento of our tragic love.”

“This had better be worth it, she weighs a freaking ton!” “OHH, there goes my hernia!” *BANG*

*HACKHACKCOUGHHACK* “Thanks for the Heimlich, guys, damn apple’s been stuck in my throat for a year!”

“Seriously, I’m not making that up. Plus, they invite the Queen to the wedding and force her to dance to death in red-hot iron shoes.”

Everyone rejoices, Snow White says goodbye to the dwarfs, and the Prince leads her on his horse to his shining palace in the clouds. They all live happily ever after, the end.

And that’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the very first animated Disney movie. Do I believe the American Film Institute’s claims that it’s the best animated film of all time? Well, to be honest, no. The main characters aren’t as developed compared to future Disney protagonists, the animation goes noticeably off model at times, and it’s got one foot stuck in the style of the Silly Symphonies shorts that came before.

Is it the most influential animated film, however? Of course! Without it animation wouldn’t be as mainstream as it is today. While the formula has been updated and subverted through the decades, most animated features follow a similar blueprint – a dastardly villain, fun side characters, memorable music, distinct visual flair, fighting, torture, true love, miracles, you get the picture. We wouldn’t have any of that without Snow White. Once upon a time, this movie was the Star Wars of its era; a groundbreaking, audience-thrilling blockbuster that changed the way people looked at movies. Part of that is because Snow White taps into an emotional simplicity in a manner few films are able to. It relies more on providing an emotional catharsis than logic, inviting us to experience the story as we once did through the eyes of a child, and in doing so captures the essence of a classic fairy tale.

In fact, looking at the ripple effect of how movies can influence one another across the years, Snow White ranks among one of the most influential movies made in general. Apart from Disney you can see its echoes in The Wizard of Oz, Gulliver’s Travels, Citizen Kane, and yes, the original Star Wars. Even Sergei Eisenstein, the man who revolutionized filmmaking with freaking Battleship Potemkin, declared Snow White to be the greatest film ever made.

…So why did Walt Disney come to hate it later on in life?

Every movie that’s met with acclaim and accolades is bound to hit some backlash for one reason or another. Maybe it’s been overhyped, or time hasn’t been that kind to it. For Walt, Snow White leaned into the latter as his artistic prowess grew. No creator likes looking at their past work because it’s easier to notice the flaws when viewing it through a more experienced eye (believe me, I know). That, and no matter what he did, it seemed impossible to escape from Snow White’s shadow. For decades everything he created was inevitably compared to it.

Hmm, the animation and music are an improvement, but what it’s really missing are some dwarfs.

Hmm, the creativity leaps off the charts, but if only the score had lyrics that rhyme with the words “shmeigh shmo”.

Hmm, it’s breathtaking and magical, but it’d be perfect if you could just sit and watch it for eighty minutes without interacting with any of it at all.

Hmm, it’s practically perfect in every way, but…um…uh…more dwarfs, dammit!!

Thankfully Walt’s displeasure mellowed after some time. As for Snow White, she’s still rightfully hailed as the one that started it all. The art is iconic, the characters are unforgettable, and virtually all the songs are Disney gold standards for a reason. Well before Rodgers and Hammerstein changed the face of musical theater by having the score and the book go hand in hand, Snow White did it first in the cinemas. In fact this was the first movie to ever have a commercially released soundtrack, another confounded idea Hollywood wouldn’t understand for quite a while. Though time may temper with modern expectations, Snow White is as much a classic now as it was destined to be eighty years ago, and nothing can touch it. It still is the fairest one of all.

“HA! Try to remake/sequelize THAT, Disney!”

“Excuse me, is it too late to join this review?”

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Oh, where are my manners? I’m Snow White’s sister, Rose Red.”

“…You sure you’re not just a color-swapped OC clone from Deviantart?”

“Of course I’m not, silly! I’m in the fairytale and everything! Well, not THE fairytale per se, but there is one titled ‘Snow White and Rose Red’ where we’re siblings.”

“Checks out. They’re technically related.”

“Okay, but what are you doing here?”

“I was just wondering when you were going to discuss my upcoming movie!”

“Your…movie?”

“Oh yes! It’s going to be Disney’s Snow White all over again but from MY point of view! Isn’t that exciting?”

“But…but you weren’t even in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

“I know! I was off to the side doing…well, you’ll have to wait and see! The lady who wrote that Gone Girl knockoff that takes place on a train and the Indecent Proposal remake is doing the screenplay and she is just delightful!”

“…Excuse me for one moment.”

“Oh dear. Have I said something wrong?”

“It’s ok. This is just the part of the review where Shelf goes berserk.”

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Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Special thanks to Amelia Jones and Gordhan Ranaj for their contributions.

You can vote for what movie you want me to look at next by leaving it in the comments or emailing me at [email protected]. Remember, you can only vote once a month. The list of movies available to vote for are under “What’s On the Shelf”.

Also, Patreon supporters get extra votes among other perks. If I reach the goal of $100, I can get back to reviewing animated series! I’m at the halfway mark right now, so please consider supporting me if you’re able.

Artwork by Charles Moss.

Most screencaps courtesy of animationscreencaps.com.

February Review: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) If there's a reason why we're able to recall the story of Snow White from memory, and why said princess is usually depicted with short hair, a cute bow and surrounded by woodland fauna, look no further than Disney.

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notbang · 6 years

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1. things you said at 1 am

things you said prompt meme: send me a pairing and a prompt and I’ll write you a mini fic!

Nathaniel blinks a few times when he steps out into the passageway, confused by the lack of pitch darkness that greets him.

The television’s on, which is weird because he’s pretty sure he distinctly remembers switching it off after Rebecca fell asleep halfway through whatever inane high school drama she was watching this week, relieved he could finally review his case notes in peace save for her undignified snores into the back of the couch. Thirst outweighs his sleep-fogged brain’s desire to investigate further, though, and he continues on his path into Rebecca’s kitchen.

“Oh heyyyy,” a voice drawls, startling him in his survey of the contents fridge. The pile of blankets on the couch shifts and transforms into a shape vaguely resembling Heather in the shadows, her blue-green highlights illuminated in the soft glow from the screen. “Oh, good—you’re wearing pants. That’s always a bonus.”

Nathaniel shuts the fridge door and straightens up with a frown, crossing his arms over his bare chest a little self-consciously.

“You’re up late,” he observes.

“You’re… here,” Heather deadpans back at him. “Oh, I’m sorry—I thought we were just, like, stating the obvious.”

Pulling a face at her he swings the door back open, fumbling around until he finds what he’s looking for before heading into the living room, stopping beside the armchair to take a swig from his water bottle. He jerks his chin at the screen.

“What are you watching?”

Her eyebrows shoot up her forehead. “Dude, you did not just ask me that.”

“What?”

“Have you seriously never seen The Lion King? Does Rebecca know this about you? Because I’m pretty sure it’s one of her major deal-breakers.”

“Of course I’ve seen The Lion King,” he scoffs defensively. “At some point in my life. As a child. Have I retained any of it? No. In case you weren’t aware, I’m a lawyer. I’ve kind of got more important things to store in my brain than cartoons.”

“Wooow. I can’t believe Rebecca is dating a Disney-illiterate douchebag. I mean, it’s not the most confusing thing about the two of you being together, but you do realise she like, lives her life like she’s in some fairytale musical, or something.”

“I’m sorry—did you just call me an illiterate douchebag?”

“Disney-illiterate. I like to keep my insults precise.”

“Hmm.”

Against his better judgment, Nathaniel finds himself dropping down onto the couch beside her.

* * *

“Is there any particular reason you’re watching a children’s movie at one a.m. on a weeknight?”

She’s swung her legs up in front of her to make more space, sitting cross legged with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cradled in her lap and eating it straight with a soup spoon. She hadn’t bothered with offering him any, instead tossing an unopened bag of trail mix at him with a sigh and announcing it was the best she could do.

Nathaniel picks idly at the pepitas.

Heather shrugs. “I mean, I’m a bartender and a student, so. I have a different concept of time to you. What’s your excuse?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he says. He pauses, tongue skimming the front of his teeth. “I’m… not used to sharing a bed. I’m kind of a light sleeper.”

Heather hums around her spoonful of Cherry Garcia in acknowledgement.

* * *

Nathaniel wasn’t lying when he said he’d seen The Lion King—he has a vague recollection of watching it in the cinema as a child and he’s aware of the general gist of it; it’s in the title, after all. It doesn’t stop his eyes from going wide as he gestures wildly at the screen when Mufasa falls to his death in an antelope stampede, leaving a distraught Simba to gingerly prod at his lifeless body.

“What the hell was that? This is supposed to be for kids! You can’t just kill off the main character’s father like that,” he protests, fidgeting in his seat and pulling the cushion he’s been holding tighter against his chest. “That’s just… that’s upsetting. For the children, I mean. It would be upsetting for children.”

“Oh,” Heather says, casting her eyes at him sideways. “Probably stay away from Bambi, then. Rebecca mentioned you might have some mommy issues, so. Zero out of ten, would not recommend.”

He frowns and digs his chin into his cushion.

* * *

When Simba starts to grow his hair out Heather slides to the floor and starts painting her toenails; when he narrowly avoids being mauled by his future mate and finds himself flat on his back, her snarling face dangerously close to his Nathaniel can’t help but huff out a dry laugh of painful recognition.

They both glance up at the shuffling noise coming from the hallway in time to see the back of Rebecca’s sushi pyjamas disappearing through the doorway as she stumbles into the bathroom. When she re-emerges a few minutes later to the sound of the toilet flushing she pauses in the half-light spilling from her bedside lamp, bleary-eyed and scrubbing at her face.

“Oh, are you guys watching a movie without me?” she mumbles, sounding vaguely disappointed but looking for all intents and purposes as if she’s about to fall asleep standing up. “I wanna watch a movie.”

She yawns loudly over the opening notes of what is very clearly about to be a disgusting love song and Nathaniel takes it as his cue to leave, pushing himself to his feet.

“No, no movies. I was just getting some water,” he promises, shepherding her back down the hall towards her bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you back into bed.”

“Hey,” Heather calls out, stopping him briefly in his tracks. He turns to look at her just in time to find her stretching out across the space he just vacated, eyes stubbornly on the screen. “I know I sort of called you a douchebag, but it’s like, cool that you’re back, or whatever. I think Estrella might have missed you. It’s hard to tell, though—that’s kind of just her face.”

It’s too dark to be completely certain, but he’s pretty sure she’s almost smiling.

#this is kind of aimless but oh well #nathaniel plimpton #heather davis #crazy ex girlfriend #nathaniel + heather #brotp: what are you doing in my house?#things you said prompt meme #my fic #replies #catty-words

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nojudgingbybloodline · 4 years

Text

Milking the Hippogriff Dry as the Hogwarts Express Gravy Train Runs Out of Steam:

Why Warner Bros. are Wrong to Turn Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into Two Films

By MaraudingDon

On March 13th 2008, Warner Bros. confirmed1 rumours that had been circulating for a number of months that they would indeed be splitting the seventh film in the Harry Potter franchise, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, into two parts. This essay will set out reasons why this long-time, self-confessed Harry Potter uberfan is appalled by this decision.

The Harry Potter films have been overwhelmingly successful. According to IMDb,2all five previously released films occupy spots in the top twenty-one grossing films of all time. Three of them are in the top ten. Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone(Sorcerer's Stone if you are not British) is the highest placed with $968 million+ box office takings, and even Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban at number twenty-one took a very respectable $789+ million at the box office.

This is the cash cow, or for the purpose of this essay, the cash hippogriff, that has served Warner Bros. very nicely indeed, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, the cash hippogriff is about to milk its last drop, because with the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows film, this lucrative film franchise runs out. The cogs in the WB machine must have squealed louder than Dobby when they read the final book and realised that Lord Voldemort had eight portions of soul, instead of seven. "Let's do the same with the film' squealed delighted film bosses as they got ready to count their galleons in the Lightning Struck counting tower ’ and so instead of seven films to match seven books, we get eight films.

Now at the start of this, I must confess that I am not a fan of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. In July 2007, just before the release of the novel, Jo Rowling told ITV News3 that "Some people will loathe it. For some people to love it, other people must loath it. That's just in the nature of the plot." Well she was spot on, because even though I have read the book five times now, I still loathe it as much as I did that first time. However, as someone who has huge respect for what Jo Rowling has achieved, it is still important to me that Warner Bros. does justice to this amazing world and does not abuse their position as holders of the copyright and trademarks. In fact, a well executed film could provide me, and others who did not like the book, a new appreciation of it in the same way the excellent Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix film did for many.

What made Harry Potter work for me, what made me fall in love with this excellent series (and despite my loathing of the final book, I still regard the first six as works of genius), was her excellent characterization. J.K. Rowling succeeded where so many other authors have failed by creating peripheral characters that a reader could truly care about. Adult characters like Remus Lupin, Minerva McGonagall, Molly and Arthur Weasley, and the younger characters like Luna, Neville and the Weasleys. Even the traditional baddies like Bellatrix were utterly fascinating to read about ’ and was there ever a greater literary character than Severus Snape? For six books he created more heated debate than any of the other Harry Potter characters put together. So herein lies my first problem with a two part Deathly Hallows film ’ in the first part, you aren't even going to see half of these characters. If Steve Kloves adheres religiously to the book, then we may be lucky to get a quick glimpse of Severus at the very beginning, but then that's it until part two. No Hogwarts, no teachers, NO NEVILLE! The heart and soul immediately disappears.

Do people realize when they welcome a two part film, just how much of the trio we are going to get? If the film is split at the "Silver Doe" chapter4 for example, then we may get to see Voldemort and his Death Eaters opening the film, a rather anti-climactic goodbye to the Dursleys, "The Seven Potters" with a big chase and fight scene, the deaths of Hedwig and Mad-Eye, a wedding, and the rest will be Harry, Ron and Hermione. Yes there will be scenes involving the locket hunt at the Ministry and a visit to Godric's Hollow, but are Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson strong enough to hold a film of this magnitude? I don't think so. There is no doubt that all three of them have improved as they have made that difficult transition from child actor to adult ’ Daniel especially has improved ten-fold since those awkward first films, but several hours of Emma's hypnotic dancing eyebrows is not enough to hold my attention. It is worth remembering that nearly all the action in this book takes place in the last third of the text, including a fantastic battle segment at Hogwarts, the resolution to the Snape storyline, and of course, the denouement to the entire series. The casting directors of the Harry Potter films have done an outstanding job in casting the very best of British stage and screen in these movies. We've been lucky enough to see Richard Harris, Sir Michael Gambon, Dame Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis and many more award winning stars grace our screens together. What a tragic disappointment then to have a Deathly Hallows part one in which we may not even see these greats at all, or in tiny dribs and drabs. Those who don't like the book often mention the camping. Those who love the book often moan at those who moan about the camping! But there is no getting away from it that part one of this two-part film is going to consist of a lot of the trio arguing whilst either planning their camping or actually doing it.

So let's move away from camping and talk about money ’ because money talks. Films like Titanic and the amazing Lord of the Rings trilogy took enormous box office takings, not because of the amount of people who went to see the films, but because of the amount of repeat viewings. It's why the Harry Potter franchise has been so successful ’ families and non-fans will only take box office receipts so high, it is the super fans who see the films three, four, five, even twenty times each that create such huge box office receipts. The Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix film took $937+ million at the box office. A tiny, miniscule percentage of that was my viewing it five times, I loved it, couldn't get enough of it. Will I go and watch Deathly Hallows part one five times? Not in a million years, and I highly doubt others will either.

I've put it off too long ’ I now find myself having to write about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Allowed-To-Write-The-Screenplay, a.k.a. Steve Kloves. (Here I offer an apology and a blindfold to my friend, fellow longtime Leaky stalwart and Kloves fan Bandersnatch) but does the thought of a five hour two-part film penned by Mr. Kloves make anybody else want to jump through the veil themselves?!! Lest we forget, this is the man who in the Prisoner of Azkaban film managed to turn Ron Weasley into the cowardly lion, and Hermione Granger into the Bionic Woman! Be honest, is this the man you Snapeophiles trust with doing justice to your hero? Personally, I'm waiting for Lord Voldemort to cackle, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too."

I just find it unfathomable to understand why Warner Bros. has been so averse to creating one film that is say, three and a half hours long. That is more than sufficient to do justice to the book. History shows that cinema audiences are more than happy to sit time and time again through long films; the examples of Titanic and Return of the King back this up. Titanic had a run time of 194 minutes,5 whilst Return of the King numbed our derrieres for 201 minutes,6 yet still we flocked to see them, making them the highest grossing films of all time.

Instead we are faced with getting two films, six months apart. According to the press release, part one will reach us in November 2010 and part two in May 2011. The first is two years after the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince film and part two will reach us nearly four years after the release of the book. Again, I feel Warner Bros. has misjudged its audience. The super-fans are slowly losing their fervor for all things Potter, the fandom is slowing down. If part one is judged to be a failure, will the "normal" audience, those who are not super fans, even bother going back to watch part two? The denouement to the Deathly Hallows book is dominated by a fantastic battle scene that is covered in more than one hundred pages of nail biting prose. I can understand the producers perhaps believing that they could not do justice to this battle in one film (in addition to everything else they may want to create), but my argument is that they absolutely could do it all in one film, and do it well. Let's look at the examples of the Lord of the Rings trilogy again. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers was dominated by a battle at Helm's Deep and, led by Peter Jackson, the film version of the novel was exquisite. Even better was the battle for Gondor in Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, a battle that easily overshadows the Battle of Hogwarts. If New Line Cinema and Peter Jackson could do it ’ why not Warner Bros. and David Yates? One longer film instead of two shorter ones will keep the dramatic tension flowing to great effect.

Back to money again. Once the films have sizzled or sunk at the box office, we then get the DVDs. I would be interested to hear what Warner Bros. have to say about this. Are we, as most anticipate, going to have to pay for two DVDs for one story? Instead of the usual $30 here in Australia, will I have to pay $60? There is no question of an uberfan like me not getting them, of course I have to and WB knows this. I have a nasty taste in my mouth that could be shampoo ¦ no, it's bubotuber pus ¦ no, it's the taste of being ripped off.

I'm sorry Mr. Heyman, you may be as gorgeous as Fleur Weasley, but this decision screams out, "money, money, money." The Hogwarts Express gravy train is on its last journey and you appear to be clinging on by your fingertips. Time will tell whether this is a decision you come to rue.

Notes

1. Business Wire, "Warner Bros. Plans Two-Part Film Adaptation' paragraph 1.

2. IMDb, "All-Time Worldwide Box office."

3. Oatts, "Rowling: Some will loathe it' paragraph 2.

4. Rowling, Deathly Hallows, 296’314.

5. IMDb, "Titanic."

6. Ibid., "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."

Bibliography

Business Wire. "Warner Bros. Plans Two-Part Film Adaptation of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" to Be Directed by David Yates." Business Wire, 13 March 2008, http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20080313005332&newsLang=en (accessed 21 April 2008).

The Internet Movie Database (IMDb). "All-Time Worldwide Box office." http://www.imdb.com/boxoffice/alltimegross?region=world-wide (accessed 21 April 2008).

”””. "Titanic." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120338/ (accessed 21 April 2008).

”””. "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/ (accessed 21 April 2008).

Oatts, Joanne. "Rowling: Some will loathe it." digital spy, 13 July 2007. http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/a65641/rowling-some-will-loathe-it.html (accessed 21 April 2008).

Rowling, J.K. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, London: Bloomsbury, 2007.

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readbookywooks · 7 years

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THE QUEEN OF UNDERLAND

TWO Earthmen entered, but instead of advancing into the room, they placed themselves one on each side of the door, and bowed deeply. They were followed immediately by the last person whom anyone had expected or wished to see: the Lady of the Green Kirtle, the Queen of Underland. She stood dead still in the doorway, and they could see her eyes moving as she took in the whole situation - the three strangers, the silver chair destroyed, and the Prince free, with his sword in his hand. She turned very white; but Jill thought it was the sort of whiteness that comes over some people's faces not when they are frightened but when they are angry. For a moment the Witch fixed her eyes on the Prince, and there was murder in them. Then she seemed to change her mind. "Leave us," she said to the two Earthmen. "And let none disturb us till I call, on pain of death." The gnomes padded away obediently, and the Witch-queen shut and locked the door. "How now, my lord Prince," she said. "Has your nightly fit not yet come upon you, or is it over so soon? Why stand you here unbound? Who are these aliens? And is it they who have destroyed the chair which was your only safety?" Prince Rilian shivered as she spoke to him. And no wonder: it is not easy to throw off in half an hour an enchantment which has made one a slave for ten years. Then, speaking with a great effort, he said: "Madam, there will be no more need of that chair. And you, who have told me a hundred times how deeply you pitied me for the sorceries by which I was bound, will doubtless hear with joy that they are now ended for ever. There was, it seems, some small error in your Ladyship's way of treating them. These, my true friends, have delivered me. I am now in my right mind, and there are two things I will say to you. First - as for your Ladyship's design of putting me at the head of an army of Earthmen so that I may break out into the Overworld and there, by main force, make myself king over some nation that never did me wrong - murdering their natural lords and holding their throne as a bloody and foreign tyrant - now that I know myself, I do utterly abhor and renounce it as plain villainy. And second: I am the King's son of Narnia, Rilian, the only child of Caspian, Tenth of that name, whom some call Caspian the Seafarer. Therefore, Madam, it is my purpose, as it is also my duty, to depart suddenly from your Highness's court into my own country. Please it you to grant me and my friends safe conduct and a guide through your dark realm." Now the Witch said nothing at all, but moved gently across the room, always keeping her face and eyes very steadily towards the Prince. When she had come to a little ark set in the wall not far from the fireplace, she opened it, and took out first a handful of a green powder. This she threw on the fire. It did not blaze much, but a very sweet and drowsy smell came from it. And all through the conversation which followed, that smell grew stronger, and filled the room, and made it harder to think. Secondly, she took out a musical instrument rather like a mandolin. She began to play it with her fingers - a steady, monotonous thrumming that you didn't notice after a few minutes. But the less you noticed it, the more it got into your brain and your blood. This also made it hard to think. After she had thrummed for a time (and the sweet smell was now strong) she began speaking in a sweet, quiet voice. "Narnia?" she said. "Narnia? I have often heard your Lordship utter that name in your ravings. Dear Prince, you are very sick. There is no land called Narnia." "Yes there is, though, Ma'am," said Puddleglum. "You see, I happen to have lived there all my life." "Indeed," said the Witch. "Tell me, I pray you, where that country is?" "Up there," said Puddleglum, stoutly, pointing overhead. "I - I don't know exactly where." "How?" said the Queen, with a kind, soft, musical laugh. "Is there a country up among the stones and mortar of the roof?" "No," said Puddleglum, struggling a little to get his breath. "It's in Overworld." "And what, or where, pray is this... how do you call it... Overworld?" "Oh, don't be so silly," said Scrubb, who was fighting hard against the enchantment of the sweet smell and the thrumming. "As if you didn't know! It's up above, up where you can see the sky and the sun and the stars. Why, you've been there yourself. We met you there." "I cry you mercy, little brother," laughed the Witch (you couldn't have heard a lovelier laugh). "I have no memory of that meeting. But we often meet our friends in strange places when we dream. And unless all dreamed alike, you must not ask them to remember it." "Madam," said the Prince sternly, "I have already told your Grace that I am the King's son of Narnia." "And shalt be, dear friend," said the Witch in a soothing voice, as if she was humouring a child, "shalt be king of many imagined lands in thy fancies." "We've been there, too," snapped Jill. She was very angry because she could feel enchantment getting hold of her every moment. But of course the very fact that she could still feel it, showed that it had not yet fully worked. "And thou art Queen of Narnia too, I doubt not, pretty one," said the Witch in the same coaxing, half-mocking tone. "I'm nothing of the sort," said Jill, stamping her foot. "We come from another world." "Why, this is a prettier game than the other," said the Witch. "Tell us, little maid, where is this other world? What ships and chariots go between it and ours?" Of course a lot of things darted into Jill's head at once: Experiment House, Adela Pennyfather, her own home, radio-sets, cinemas, cars, aeroplanes, ration-books, queues. But they seemed dim and far away. (Thrum thrum - thrum - went the strings of the Witch's instrument.) Jill couldn't remember the names of the things in our world. And this time it didn't come into her head that she was being enchanted, for now the magic was in its full strength; and of course, the more enchanted you get, the more certain you feel that you are not enchanted at all. She found herself saying (and at the moment it was a relief to say): "No. I suppose that other world must be all a dream." "Yes. It is all a dream," said the Witch, always thrumming. "Yes, all a dream," said Jill. "There never was such a world," said the Witch. "No," said Jill and Scrubb, "never was such a world." "There never was any world but mine," said the Witch. "There never was any world but yours," said they. Puddleglum was still fighting hard. "I don't know rightly what you all mean by a world," he said, talking like a man who hasn't enough air. "But you can play that fiddle till your fingers drop off, and still you won't make me forget Narnia; and the whole Overworld too. We'll never see it again, I shouldn't wonder. You may have blotted it out and turned it dark like this, for all I know. Nothing more likely. But I know I was there once. I've seen the sky full of stars. I've seen the sun coming up out of the sea of a morning and sinking behind the mountains at night. And I've seen him up in the midday sky when I couldn't look at him for brightness." Puddleglum's words had a very rousing effect. The other three all breathed again and looked at one another like people newly awaked. "Why, there it is!" cried the Prince. "Of course! The blessing of Aslan upon this honest Marsh-wiggle. We have all been dreaming, these last few minutes. How could we have forgotten it? Of course we've all seen the sun." "By Jove, so we have!" said Scrubb. "Good for you, Puddleglum! You're the only one of us with any sense, I do believe." Then came the Witch's voice, cooing softly like the voice of a wood-pigeon from the high elms in an old garden at three o'clock in the middle of a sleepy, summer afternoon; and it said: "What is this sun that you all speak of? Do you mean anything by the word?" "Yes, we jolly well do," said Scrubb. "Can you tell me what it's like?" asked the Witch (thrum, thrum, thrum, went the strings). "Please it your Grace," said the Prince, very coldly and politely. "You see that lamp. It is round and yellow and gives light to the whole room; and hangeth moreover from the roof. Now that thing which we call the sun is like the lamp, only far greater and brighter. It giveth light to the whole Overworld and hangeth in the sky." "Hangeth from what, my lord?" asked the Witch; and then, while they were all still thinking how to answer her, she added, with another of her soft, silver laughs: "You see? When you try to think out clearly what this sun must be, you cannot tell me. You can only tell me it is like the lamp. Your sun is a dream; and there is nothing in that dream that was not copied from the lamp. The lamp is the real thing; the sun is but a tale, a children's story." "Yes, I see now," said Jill in a heavy, hopeless tone. "It must be so." And while she said this, it seemed to her to be very good sense. Slowly and gravely the Witch repeated, "There is no sun." And they all said nothing. She repeated, in a softer and deeper voice. "There is no sun." After a pause, and after a struggle in their minds, all four of them said together. "You are right. There is no sun." It was such a relief to give in and say it. "There never was a sun," said the Witch. "No. There never was a sun," said the Prince, and the Marsh-wiggle, and the children. For the last few minutes Jill had been feeling that there was something she must remember at all costs. And now she did. But it was dreadfully hard to say it. She felt as if huge weights were laid on her lips. At last, with an effort that seemed to take all the good out of her, she said: "There's Aslan." "Aslan?" said the Witch, quickening ever so slightly the pace of her thrumming. "What a pretty name! What does it mean?" "He is the great Lion who called us out of our own world," said Scrubb, "and sent us into this to find Prince Rilian." "What is a lion?" asked the Witch. "Oh, hang it all!" said Scrubb. "Don't you know? How can we describe it to her? Have you ever seen a cat?" "Surely," said the Queen. "I love cats." "Well, a lion is a little bit - only a little bit, mind you like a huge cat - with a mane. At least, it's not like a horse's mane, you know, it's more like a judge's wig. And it's yellow. And terrifically strong." The Witch shook her head. "I see," she said, "that we should do no better with your lion, as you call it, than we did with your sun. You have seen lamps, and so you imagined a bigger and better lamp and called it the sun. You've seen cats, and now you want a bigger and better cat, and it's to be called a lion. Well, 'tis a pretty makebelieve, though, to say truth, it would suit you all better if you were younger. And look how you can put nothing into your make-believe without copying it from the real world, this world of mine, which is the only world. But even you children are too old for such play. As for you, my lord Prince, that art a man full grown, fie upon you! Are you not ashamed of such toys? Come, all of you. Put away these childish tricks. I have work for you all in the real world. There is no Narnia, no Overworld, no sky, no sun, no Aslan. And now, to bed all. And let us begin a wiser life tomorrow. But, first, to bed; to sleep; deep sleep, soft pillows, sleep without foolish dreams." The Prince and the two children were standing with their heads hung down, their cheeks flushed, their eyes half closed; the strength all gone from them; the enchantment almost complete. But Puddleglum, desperately gathering all his strength, walked over to the fire. Then he did a very brave thing. He knew it wouldn't hurt him quite as much as it would hurt a human; for his feet (which were bare) were webbed and hard and coldblooded like a duck's. But he knew it would hurt him badly enough; and so it did. With his bare foot he stamped on the fire, grinding a large part of it into ashes on the flat hearth. And three things happened at once. First, the sweet heavy smell grew very much less. For though the whole fire had not been put out, a good bit of it had, and what remained smelled very largely of burnt Marsh-wiggle, which is not at all an enchanting smell. This instantly made everyone's brain far clearer. The Prince and the children held up their heads again and opened their eyes. Secondly, the Witch, in a loud, terrible voice, utterly different from all the sweet tones she had been using up till now, called out, "What are you doing? Dare to touch my fire again, mud-filth, and I'll turn the blood to fire inside your veins." Thirdly, the pain itself made Puddleglum's head for a moment perfectly clear and he knew exactly what he really thought. There is nothing like a good shock of pain for dissolving certain kinds of magic. "One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things - trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a playworld which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say." "Oh, hurrah! Good old Puddleglum!" cried Scrubb and Jill. But the Prince shouted suddenly, "Ware! Look to the Witch." When they did look their hair nearly stood on end. The instrument dropped from her hands. Her arms appeared to be fastened to her sides. Her legs were intertwined with each other, and her feet had disappeared. The long green train of her skirt thickened and grew solid, and seemed to be all one piece with the writhing green pillar of her interlocked legs. And that writhing green pillar was curving and swaying as if it had no joints, or else were all joints. Her head was thrown far back and while her nose grew longer and longer, every other part of her face seemed to disappear, except her eyes. Huge flaming eyes they were now, without brows or lashes. All this takes time to write down; it happened so quickly that there was only just time to see it. Long before there was time to do anything, the change was complete, and the great serpent which the Witch had become, green as poison, thick as Jill's waist, had flung two or three coils of its loathsome body round the Prince's legs. Quick as lightning another great loop darted round, intending to pinion his sword-arm to his side. But the Prince was just in time. He raised his arms and got them clear: the living knot closed only round his chest - ready to crack his ribs like firewood when it drew tight. The Prince caught the creature's neck in his left hand, trying to squeeze it till it choked. This held its face (if you could call it a face) about five inches from his own. The forked tongue flickered horribly in and out, but could not reach him. With his right hand he drew back his sword for the strongest blow he could give. Meanwhile Scrubb and Puddleglum had drawn their weapons and rushed to his aid. All three blows fell at once: Scrubb's (which did not even pierce the scales and did no good) on the body of the snake below the Prince's hand, but the Prince's own blow and Puddleglum's both on its neck. Even that did not quite kill it, though it began to loosen its hold on Rilian's legs and chest. With repeated blows they hacked off its head. The horrible thing went on coiling and moving like a bit of wire long after it had died; and the floor, as you may imagine, was a nasty mess. The Prince, when he had breath, said, "Gentlemen, I thank you." Then the three conquerors stood staring at one another and panting, without another word, for a long time. Jill had very wisely sat down and was keeping quiet; she was saying to herself, "I do hope I don't faint or blub - or do anything idiotic." "My royal mother is avenged," said Rilian presently. "This is undoubtedly the same worm that I pursued in vain by the fountain in the forest of Narnia, so many years ago. All these years I have been the slave of my mother's slayer. Yet I am glad, gentlemen, that the foul Witch took to her serpent form at the last. It would not have suited well either with my heart or with my honour to have slain a woman. But look to the lady." He meant Jill. "I'm all right, thanks," said she. "Damsel," said the Prince, bowing to her. "You are of a high courage, and therefore, I doubt not, you come of a noble blood in your own world. But come, friends. Here is some wine left. Let us refresh ourselves and each pledge his fellows. After that, to our plans." "A jolly good idea, Sir," said Scrubb.

#SilverChair

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vinegar--tom · 7 years

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Tyjo! (A Czech exclamation indicating surprise) I was tagged by @bbuffyy to tell five things about myself! And as soon as I’ve seen it and read her hilarious answers I went into an automatic brainstorm “five things? Here, have five million! The time you didn’t want to let your grandma taste your ice cream because of her dentures! Or when you set up a dinosaur theatre in your room aged 6 and re-enacted the politics debate on tv from earlier that day, the t-Rex standing for the member of the liberal party and stegosaurus as the labour candidate trying to push forward a pension reform, but then they just abandoned their discussion and ate the Barbie. Or when you threw a Caprisun down the highest mountain and your mum made you go down and fetch it and since then you’ve never ever littered anywhere.”

Ok ok I’ll just go with five random things then and leave the rest for a memoir.

1. I have the weirdest dreams. It’s normal for me to dream I’m a different entity, sometimes even a thing. I dreamt I was a penguin who longed to impress his Dad, so I went and won the X-Factor. I was a very old man who owned a train station which burned down later on and I woke up distraught. I was a man from a Colgate Herbal advert and was communicating with Tigger using smoke signals. Once I was a toadstool. Another night the moon was about to fall from the sky and kill us all but I was making sure my suitcase was full to the brim with croissants. I was in the woods and suddenly I heard the creepiest voice emanating from my radio and I knew it was the voice of a dead soldier, I was pulled into a vortex and woke up with my pyjama trousers off.

2. My mum died when I was 17, and when it happened I felt like I had expected it my whole life. I loved my parents so much, that as a kid I worried about something happening to them all the time… at the same time, in a cruel way it also meant I was prepared for it. My mum was a sort of person you couldn’t really imagine old, she was always so lively and beautiful and full of ideas. We argued all the time, of course, especially because we were so alike. I hope to become as fantastic a mum to my own kids as she was. One day she said I’d have a day off school and we went to the cinema and then swimming. She supported me in everything I did and laughed with me over teacher’s note which accused me of repeatedly climbing over the toilet wall (I was 9), she was also the one to introduce me (not personally, unfortunately) to William Blake and William Saroyan and artists and architects I admire to this day. We spent every summer hiking in the mountains and when we got richer we travelled abroad. I’ll never forget the night we were leaning on the balcony of our Austrian chalet, watching the extremely bright stars you only get deep in the mountains, smelling the dewy meadows all around us. We were in the Austrian Alps in the summer 2007 when my mum went back to the car to get something and then returned much later, looking bewildered and saying she’d got disoriented. We were worried but for the rest of the holiday everything was fine so we forgot about it. Then about a month after that my mum, grandma and my little brother were on their way home and mum suddenly lost control of the wheel, went completely blank and had my grandma not stepped on the brake, they would’ve definitely ended up in an accident. Later, in the hospital, we were told my mum suffered a seizure. We were confused - she didn’t have a history of brain problems, epilepsy or anything of that nature. 5 years prior to this incident, she had a melanoma removed from her back. A small, insignificant mole which was however malign. She was told everything seemed fine and annual CT screening hadn’t revealed anything suspicious. And yet, the melanoma managed to metastasise and find its way to the brain. We were optimistic until the last couple of days she died. We believed the chemo and radiotherapy and the specialist care would work, and even though we could see her getting worse we never allowed ourselves to see a different outcome. When it happened I felt numb. I don’t believe in God, none of us do, but I find that more comforting than the idea of having one’s life in the hands of an omniscient being. We are all made of star matter and at some point we return to the stars, to become part of something new. I regret it every day, that she’s not here (sometimes, I forget to regret, especially when I’m doing something rubbish, like job hunting; but then I regret twice the next day when I’m having fun), that she’s not seen me graduate, not met my wicked (in the British sense of the word, he’s not evil, you fools) boyfriend who’s now a doctor and takes good care of me and who helped me understand what happened to her; that she never got slobbered over by Kira or that she doesn’t know how good my brother got in CS and how despite his gaming background he can cook a decent schnitzel,…and she would be so proud of how well our Dad has handled it all…

3. Okay, this was extremely long and sad, so a more uplifting one: I had the best childhood, I was very lucky because of the area I grew up in which was quite safe and meant that me and my friends could spend all day outside exploring (except when we were fighting over the controllers while playing Tomb Raider). Our main quest was the search for what we called a bunker, a hiding place where we’d store all our war treasure. We’d also have sleepovers every weekend and for some reason we’d always bring our own bedding with us (I was very attached to my Lion King quilt), and I remember once I left my friend’s house rollerblading downhill holding a quilt and a pillow, not being able to see over my load. We also stole a tiny willow from someone’s garden (don’t ask), and we got caught but when the adults questioned us we said nothing at all so they had to let us go. And we found a dog and secretly brought it to my room but we’re forced to take it back. We climbed on the roof of a hospital and…peed down it. Yup. Two twelve-year-olds and a nine-year-old, you can go and ask them why they did it, I’ve no idea.

4. Since I was 12, every year, my grandma would take me on small sightseeing trips abroad. We’ve been to Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Ireland, Scotland, England, Belgium and The Netherlands together, to some places several times. I was always looking forward to it all year, and so was my grandma who had grown up under communism and unable to travel until she was almost fifty. As soon as the Iron Curtain fell, she began venturing abroad, and eventually finding her heart belonged to the Dolomites, the most beautiful mountain range in the world (I’m biased). Apart from my love of hiking, she also ignited my enthusiasm for literature and had provided me with my first Erich Maria Remarque at the age of 10 :)

5. I realised that I’ve probably already written 635342 things rather than five, thanks to a crafty use of paragraphs. Quick facts: the same grandma had once seen a proper ghost, it was in the woods near an ancient castle and there was a knight in full armour and with her there were 4 other people who had also seen it and none of them were on mushrooms. When I was very little I had an alternative persona called “The Sailor Mother Cat” and an invisible friend called Marble. My favourite anime is Fullmetal Alchemist and favourite book Lanark by Alasdair Gray. I love reading plays even more than novels. I’m interested in pretty much everything so I can spend years on Wikipedia. I hate butterflies.

#myself #personal

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furederiko · 7 years

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This week's Random-News-Digest comes a little early... because it feels appropriate somehow! PS: Is it because I won't be able to post a Kyuranger recap-view today? Perhaps... ^^;

Disney Live Action

There might be some backlash surrounding "Beauty and the Beast". With mixed reviews dividing critics, and the inevitable comparison to the animated classic that sounds rather... overly pessimistic (no kidding, like this thinkpiece for example), perhaps? Not to mention countries (like Russia, Malaysia, and others) flaming the movie's rating 'just because' of an LGBT character (lame excuse, huh?), eventhough the actual consensus is that the movie is nothing more than 'family friendly'. But that doesn't mean this remake is stopping anytime soon. In fact, prior to release last weekend, it was already tracking to a record breaking number, judging from the advance ticket sales. The remake has become the family film with the most pre-sale on Fandango. It has bested fellow Disney's titles "Finding Dory", and their Marvel Studios' "Captain America: Civil War" and "Avengers: Age of Ultron", placing it as a record breaking in the outlet's 17 years of history.

And the result? The opening weekend in North America has even leaped ahead the forecasted number of $120-140 million. It cleared out $63,8 million on Friday alone, thanks to a mighty $16.3 million received from Thursday-night preview. Giving the overall weekend result a heaping sum of $170 million! Successfully proving the House of Mouse's box office powerhouse status. It's a number that is more than their own "Finding Dory", that previously holds the record for PG title's opening weekend. And more than that, surpassing a certain dour DC Film of last year, setting up a new record for March opening. Similar success can be heard in the United Kingdom region, as the movie stands tall and proud with an 'A' Cinema Score (as of writing). According to reports, this movie appeals audience of cross-generations, particularly in the way the tougher and independent Emma Watson's Belle resonated with younger women. Other studios opted to avoid the movie, giving it a relatively free competition. Thus explaining why it's such a huge hit despite some negative backlashes. So have you seen the movie yourself? I'm going to... probably this week if not tomorrow *grins*.

In a rather disheartening news, we might want to enjoy all the glamour singing and dancing of "Beauty and the Beast" as much as we can. Why? Because we probably won't see much in "The Lion King", and likely won't get any in Disney's live action version of "Mulan" as well. Director Niki Caro said so in an interview with Moviefone (via Variety), though she noted that her children aren't pleased about it. That's a little disappointing, if you ask me. Because if there's one element Disney can highlight to separate it from those many other live action adaptations for Mulan (Remember, SONY is also producing one), is by turning it into a fullblown musical. Only Disney has songs in their version, and ones that are very memorable too to both fans and public. Instead, Caro's currently envisioning it as a "big, girly martial arts epic" that will be "extremely muscular and thrilling and entertaining and moving". Wait a sec... muscular? HUH? "Mulan" will arrive on November 2nd, 2018. I guess we'll have to wait and see how muscular and not musical it will be...

Disney Pixar

Last year, Disney Animation released two titles, while the Pixar division only had "Finding Dory". But this year, it's the other way around, because Pixar will be the one releasing two while Disney Animation is in fact sitting the year out. The first will be "Cars 3", a sequel that practically noone asked for... eventhough it has a high possibility to score big in the box office. But it's the other one that critics has been buzzing about. "Coco", a movie that will tell a journey about a young boy who journeys the Land of the Dead. A story inspired by Mexican festive "Day of the Dead".

The first teaser for "Coco" has been released, and looks like the critics are indeed on point. Easily reminding us of the critically acclaimed Oscar winning "Inside Out", this gorgeous looking trailer introduced the main star of the supernatural-themed movie, Miguel. The young aspiring musician is voiced by newcomer Anthony Gonzales, and along with his dog Dante, his character will team up with Hector the charming trickster, who is voiced by "Mozart of the Jungle" very own Gael García Bernal. Aside from the two leads, latino celebrities like Benjamin Bratt, Ana Ofelia Murguia, and Renée Victor also lend their voices as the deceased singer Ernesto de la Cruz, Coco's Mother, and Granny. Lee Unkrich and Adrian Molina are co directing, while Darla K. Anderson is producing.

The visual looks stunning, and the teaser alone is enough to make me feel all those melancholic goosebumps/feels. But I don't know about you, for some reason, I'm sensing interesting similiarities to Disney Animation's "Moana" on the main character. While on a certain extent, also Pixar's very own "The Good Dinosaur" that somehow failed to live up to many people's expectation. Suffice to say, this can be good or bad. The good news is, Unkrich and Anderson respectively directed and produced "Toy Story 3", which was by far still the best iteration of the franchise, and remains to be one of the most memorable animated movie of all time. That's a reassuring fact, but as always, we can't say anything until we see the movie with our very own eyes. Can't even tell why the movie is titled "Coco" as well, right? That's why we should plan ahead to catch it when it opens in November 22, 2017. Agree?

DC Films

As Ben Affleck opened up about the fact that he's been struggling with alcohol addiction and had just completed rehab, comes another not so surprising news. Script for "The Batman" that he has spent extra time developing with Geoff Johns, is being completely rewritten from scratch, following the announcement of Matt Reeves as the new director. With this in effect, the movie might not begin production until 2018, because Reeves' schedule is occupied with "War of the Planet of the Apes" until June.

It's unclear whether the new script will stick to or at least mirror the original plan or not, but this put the current casting report into an undeniably halt. Which means, yes, unless he shows up in this year's "Justice League", we can't really count on Joe Manganiello to show up as Deathstroke now (why not, go and play Kraven on Marvel then? *grins*). In fact, Reeves won't be meeting any talents until July. If you ask me, this is just another pessimistic indication that Affleck's role as Bruce Wayne might very well be numbered as well. Let's just hope this doesn't get into a weird loop. Unfortunately, with a series of non-stop drama to what seems to be the 'easiest' DC solo movie to pull off (due to the character's popularity and already massive fanbase), it's easy for fans to get negatively worked up about the movie, eh? So to those who are still insisting that there aren't any problems with DC Films? I sincerely offer you my condolences...

Meanwhile, the tentatively titled "Suicide Squad 2" has a writer in negotiation. Nope, not David Ayer, who is currently oversexualizi... er I mean, working on Margot Robbie's "Gotham City Sirens". This is a new writer, but not so new for Warner Bros. One that gave birth to that trepid-quality "The Legend of Tarzan", Adam Cozad. Yep, WB seems to LOVE running around in circles, huh? Appointing the same people over and over again, eventhough they honestly should have looked for better or more suitable ones for the job. No offense to Cozad, but while the Alexander Skarsgard-starring movie was indeed watchable, it was also (honest opinion)... NOT that great. Not just that, his "Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit" was equally... bland. So obviously, this does NOT inspire confidence to us all. But we really can't judge a movie by its screenwriter alone, can we? After all, it also depends on the director, whether he can realize it perfectly or even better on screen, or does the complete opposite instead. Things like the latter happens all the time, right? There were buzzes that WB wanted Mel Gibson, whose Oscar-nominated movie "Hacksaw Ridge" catapulted him back to the spotlight. Yes, his high profile would help the movie, but even that sounds like an uncertain prospect for now.

By the way, "Aquaman" has also been delayed for two months. To those who actually expected the movie to arrive earlier? Allow me to offer you another sincere condolences. The movie that was supposed to come out on October 5th, 2018 will now premiere on December 21st, 2018. It will now be swimming in the spot previously occupied by the also delayed "Avatar 2", which is arguably, a better release window. Looks like WB is back to being openly bullish though. Because it's making a direct challenge to SONY's Animated "Spider-Man" that will feature Miles Morales. This delay practically means that there might be a long 1 year gap for DC movies following this year's "Justice League". Or at least, that's the current situation. Why?

As a direct response to what's happening with "The Batman" and "Aquaman", looks like WB is actively pushing to... shoot one more title this year! Wait, what? Of course, the goal is obviously to have a second movie up next year. But is this a wise move? I'd argue that this is somewhat concerning, because we all know that rushing into things doesn't usually end up good. In fact, many seems to think the same way, that it's better for WB to take a back seat for a while and rethink their strategy before moving forward. I say, just give it a rest and be content with one title, will ya WB?!

Candidate titles for this rushed production include "Gotham City Sirens" that as far as I know is currently in writing process, "Suicide Squad 2" that we know has a writer in talks to work on it, "The Flash" that has no director and currently undergoing page-one rewrite as well, super director Doug Liman's "Dark Universe" that... I have nothing to say about because I couldn't care less, and "Green Lantern Corps" that is also being written. The good news is, WB is NOT insisting to have one ready if it's not up to standards. So if things doesn't go as plan, "Aquaman" might end up swimming solo to carry the DC flag for the year.

The bad news though? That new Squad or Lantern movie could potentially fill in the missing piece. How? Because apparently WB wants to hire David Goyer as the director to one! I don't know about you, but just the thought of the so-called 'DC architect' writing Lantern's script (alongside Justin Rhodes) alone is enough to make me worried. Lest we forget, the story of "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" originated from him! And how about "Blade: Trinity"? Not to mention this is the same guy who thought She-Hulk is a sexual object! But seriously, don't be surprised if WB does end up honoring him with the gig, especially judging from Goyer's long history with the studio. After all, like I said above, WB loves running around in circles... and falling into the same wormhole over and over again.

Spider-Man Universe

This one's intriguing, and a direct follow up to what happened in the previous category. As soon as WB pushed back "Aquaman", immediately SONY Pictures jumps in to venture and claim the open water. Yes, by placing "Venom" as the replacement title on October 5th, 2018. More comic book adaptation should make fans delighted with joy, especially Marvel's. Because remember, there's an 8-months Marvel gap between July 2018's "Ant-Man and the Wasp" and March 2019's "Captain Marvel". But I wonder if this... by all means, merely the studio's way to answer WB's bullish challenge? Hmmm...

The issue with this title however, has begun to rise up due to one particular concern: Will this movie be canon to this year's "Spider-Man: Homecoming"? I'd argue that it'll likely exist in a different universe than the one with Tom Holland's Peter Parker. Many seems to think that way, especially if we take note of the development news surrounding it. Which obviously means, it will NOT be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Don't forget, a Spider-Verse scenario has totally been made possible now, thanks to "Doctor Strange"! But that didn't stop fans from getting, well, negatively concerned. Why? Because in the comics, Venom technically exists because of Spider-Man. A great amount of creative liberty will need to be taken for this movie to work in a world without the web-crawler. And that can be quite fatal in execution. On the opposite side, it has the potential to limit the Symbiote from being used in the MCU too. Which means, we will never see Holland's Parker dealing with the alien super villain! And even I, am not pleased about that...

Anyway, the movie is said to be using a freshly submitted script written by Scott Rosenberg and Jeff Pinkner, not the one written by Dante Harper. Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach, alongside Amy Pascal are producing. Alex Kurtzman was reported to be in charge for the directorial duty before, but this latest news confirmed that the movie doesn't have a director yet. Which means, Kurtzman is likely out of the picture. It's unclear what plot this movie will go through. Perhaps Venom will go straight into Agent Venom, thus he's always been a hero and never on the dark side? Or it will tell the story completely from a villain's point of view? It's anyone's guess, and we'll have to wait and find out. But with the movie arriving in just 19 months, I suspect more information will crawl to headlines really soon...

The Matrix

Do we even NEED a reboot for "The Matrix"? I'd argue NOT, but as long as it keeps the money going, Hollywood seems to think the opposite. In case you didn't get my point, yes, WB is currently in early stages to relaunch the 1999 franchise. Because their DC properties didn't sell as much as they hoped? I'm not surprised if that's one of the primary reason. Zak Penn, who did the first draft for "The Avengers", is currently in talks to write. Actor Michael B. Jordan is being mentioned as the potential lead, likely as a younger Morpheus who was originally played by Laurence Fishburn. Apparently no talks have been made though.

Interestingly, it's currently unclear if the Wachowskis sisters as the original visionary creators will be involved or not, because it's producer Joel Silver who approached WB with the project. Actor Keanu Reeves, who gained huge popularity thanks to the movie, had even stated that he would love to do another sequel or a reboot, ONLY if the Wachowskis are returning. Admittedly, its two direct sequels ("Matrix Reloaded" and "Matrix Revolutions") were not received at the same level, both critically and financially in the box office. But even so, Penn is playing coy but surprisingly optimistic about this movie. He even vaguely hinted about whether it's going to be a REMAKE, a REBOOT, or even pure RE-RELEASE. Remember, this is the guy who co-wrote "X-Men: The Last Stand"! So I think we should be a little cautious with his words...

With that said, regardless of whether it is the right or wrong thing to do, I'm sure we might be seeing another journey to the Matrix in the coming years. Why? Remember, this is the exact studio that produced "The Legend of Tarzan", eventhough we don't really need another one. One that has spin-offed "The Lord of the Rings" into not-one-but-THREE unnecessary chapters of "The Hobbits", and currently doing the same to "Harry Potter" with last November's release of "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them". So yeah, we WILL get another Matrix movie. You can count on it.

Marvel Studios

A sad news might be brewing over Marvel Studios as well last week. Or at least, a somewhat sad. Actor Chris Evans had an interview with Esquire recently about politics and others. When talks eventually hit upon his sore muscles, an after-effect generated through workout session obviously to prepare for "Avengers: Infinity War" (he starts filming in April), the outlet made a bold statement by writing "After that, no more red- white-and-blue costume for the thirty-five-year-old. He will have fulfilled his contract.". Of course, this put everyone into a quick frenzy. Many sites immediately interpreted that Evans would be putting down his Captain America role, after the concurrent Avengers production. Mind you, everyone's forgetting that Evans has had similar situation a few years ago when he said he wanted to focus on directing, which eventually forced him to backtrack a bit and debunked media's interpretations. Since I believe he didn't blatantly say with his own mouth that he won't play the role again to Esquire, I don't see why it's nothing but similar scenario of misunderstanding or quick assumptions.

On the other hand, he HAS been around since 2010, so it makes logical sense if he simply wants to 'move on'. Even Hugh Jackman has bid farewell to the Marvel character that made him a household name, right? Let's just treat this as if it's 'true' now, for the sake of conversation. If Evans DOES decide to not extend his contract, does this mean we might expect to see his Steve Rogers sacrificing himself for the greater good in one of these upcoming Avengers titles? Or... is this merely a huge red herring, considering Rogers HAD already put down his shield at the end of Civil War, thus Captain America is technically no more in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? If you ask me, Evans can always return in future movies but in a mentor figure or some sort that doesn't require action scenes (no need to workout) and can be filmed in a more lenient schedule. The same thing has happened with Robert Downey Jr., right? I don't see how Marvel Studios won't offer the same opportunity to Evans, whose trilogy by far remains to be the best one in the MCU. But worst case scenario, at least we can still see him as the character until 2019... *sigh*

Anyways, speaking of filming, apparently this concurrent production will take part in Old Town Edinburgh this week. Scotland's Cockburn Street, the Royal Mile, and Parliament Square are expected to be featured. Perhaps it's filling in for Nidavellir, home of Eitri the Dwarf King? According to the report, "dozens of A-listers" are expected to be present. Now this is... intriguing. Because as we already learned earlier, Evans will not join production until April. We can add to that, Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye and Elizabeth Olsen's Scarlet Witch, since both have also confirmed that they will start in April as well. So WHO are these A-listers, then? So far, we know Robert Downey Jr., Chris Pratt, as well as Peter Dinklage have all been involved from day one. Tom Holland was among them, but he should be doing reshoots for "Spider-Man: Homecoming" right now. The same with cast for the "Game of Thrones"-esque "Black Panther" which is filming in Atlanta and certain parts of South Korea. Brie Larson (assuming Carol Danvers is in one of the movies) is promoting "Kong: Skull Island" around the world with Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson. The latter has even vaguely say he's not involved in these movies. The only characters who seems to be unheard of is the cast members of "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2"! Does this mean, it's them who are expected to show up?

Speaking of "Guardians", James Gunn recently confirmed on The Adam Carolla Show, that actor Sylvester Stallone will play a significant role in his upcoming movie. And he's not alone, because his character will be related to another character, who is played by Smallville's alumn Michael Rosenbaum. Thanks to that, the actor who is famously known for his portrayal of Lex Luthor in the TV series, has come out and admit the fact himself. Nature of Rosenbaum's so-called major role, as well as Stallone's, remains a huge mystery for now. Gunn specifically said "We do have a couple of characters who are very important to the Marvel universe, who are going to make their debut in Guardians Vol. 2, that people don’t know about". Emphasis on the words: 'Very Important', 'Debut', and 'Don't Know About'. The first two is obviously meant to tease future developments in the cosmic side of MCU, but the third is the most curious. Considering Gunn has the penchant for including obscure character like Chris Sullivan's Taserface, and also reimagining one like Pom Klementief's Mantis, Stallone and Rosenbaum could practically play... anyone! Who do you think they are playing? Richard Rider and Sam Alexander? Adam effing Warlock, which would be a fantastic casting? Or Mar-Vell and his son Genis-Vell as a lead up towards "Captain Marvel"? Yondu's comic book team mates StarHawk and Martinex? ...Or someone else? Speculate on!

Marvel TV

First Black Bolt. Second Crystal. Who's next to be spotted by public eye? Medusa, Auran, and Karnak. Yep, Serinda Swan's, Sonya Balmore's and Ken Leung's character have been seen during the production. Thanks to Reel News Hawaii, of course. Unlike Black Bolt or Crystal though, these three didn't look as clear. All we can see is Medusa's long red hair and her purple dress, while Karnak's possibly hidden in a green hoodie, a costume that's probably inspired by his comics version's latest run. Auran looks very vague, but doesn't resemble her comic book counterpart. Maximus is supposed to be there too, but I honestly can't see him anywhere. Is he supposedly hiding? Or that guy with the hood is Maximus all along? Hmmm...

They are filming a rather intriguing scene as well. This one shows the black-suited King and red-haired Queen, escorted by Auran in their front, walking through a line of... humans. A Royal Entrance? But who are those humans wearing gray-colored garbs? Just a wild personal guess, but quite possibly they are people who is lining up for Terrigenesis. Because that's the way it is in the comics, right? Only people given permission by the Royal Family can unlock their true Inhumans nature via the Terrigen Crystal. Then again, judging from the supposedly huge fountain, it might simply be a scene with the King and Queen taking a leisure stroll in the courtyards, addressing citizens. There aren't any more information about the scene, but it's nice to see more cast being caught by candid cameras. I wonder if we'll see Gorgon and Triton next, then?

X-Men Universe

I honestly can't decide if this should go to a 'Marvel TV' category or not, but here's a good news from the other TV side of Marvel. "Legion" has been renewed to Season 2. Yes, FX has renewed the Noah Hawley's series, which shouldn't be a surprise considering the strong reviews by both critics and audience. FX Programming President Eric Schrier even called it as "stunning achievement" because it's a "wholly original take on the superhero genre". He meant that for a TV series, perhaps? After all, "Guardians of the Galaxy" already did an original take on the genre before this. Schrier's words also confirmed that Hawley will be returning for the second season, but didn't confirm when it will be available. Easy money is that it will be released on Winter this year, or even the start of next year.

I haven't personally seen it myself, so I can't tell whether it's really that good or not. After all, just knowing that this show exists in that messy FOX's X-Men Universe is enough to dissolve any interest I have for it into thin air. Which seems to be the case with other audience too, so I'm not alone. But you know what? This renewal has definitely pigued my curiosity. Many media has also branded this show as 'unique', 'weird', and the likes. And sometimes we need this kind of materials as part of our straightforward lifes. Beside, it's only 8 episodes, so it doesn't demand much of your time. So yeah, I'll be checking it out real soon. Though I'm not sure when. LOL.

Netflix

Things are certainly looking... BAD for Marvel's "Iron Fist". While I currently reserve my judgement until I've seen the series completely (not just one or two episodes), knowing that it's sitting at a 16% score on Rotten Tomatoes is undeniably disheartening. I mean, eventhough I rarely check out the site's TV section, this is probably those few moments where I've stumbled on a TV series being awarded THAT bad in the critics' aggregator site. Interestingly, there's a contrast in public's reception. Marvel fans seems to enjoy it, while others, particularly more professional critics (who are equally Marvel fans, not haters), do NOT. This is concerning, because that means the series has divided people in two. I can't bear to imagine how general audience would response to it! But is this a mixed review then? Not necessarily. It's a situation that easily reminds me of a particular movie that was released March last year. Yes, "Batman v Superman"! "Iron Fist" has a much lower score than that boring movie (that ended with 27%) too, so imagine the irony. Hold on, let me correct that. At least audience are liking this show, as evident by the high score (86% with an average rating of 4.3 out 5, while "BvS" only gets 63%). That part CAN be called as ironic.

For the time being, as in just a few days following its release, it's safe to say that the much anticipated series has succeeded to become the most critically-panned live action adaptations that Marvel ever produced. Again, I don't know if such sentiment will last or not, or that people might appreciate it more after seeing the entire series. Moreso, whether this trepid reception will have a negative ripple effect, affecting the upcoming crossover Marvel's "The Defenders" that had just wrapped production. We can't really judge anything, because unexpected things can happen. As I said, I haven't seen this debut season, but has already begun lowering my expectation. I used to be looking forward for this particular title so much, and I honestly don't want to get all disappointed about it. So imagine the anxiety I'm feeling just to watch it.

With that said, we all need to remember one important thing: Don't ever think about blaming the lackluster quality on Finn Jones. He's only an actor, not directly involved in the story and all, and even if he has given great efforts, there's no helping when the material is already weak. If you want an actual scape goat, then look no further but to Marvel TV President Jeph Loeb (who allows too many productions happening, eventhough I don't think his division have yet the resource and proper control to do so), and also showrunner Scott Buck (who has the authority to whip this show into something better, at least critically speaking). Now let's just hope the combo won't be messing up with "The Inhumans" as well. Otherwise I might be really pissed...

The King of Fighters

2nd DLC character for "The King of Fighters XIV" has been announced! This news caught me off guard, since I didn't expect it to arrive this soon, though probably owing that to the way "Street Fighter V" is dishing out its 2nd season DLCs. But never mind that, because my speculation was correct. That crouching tall guy is indeed Ryuji Yamazaki. Just like Whip, the genuinely creepy-crazy deranged-brute feels like a natural inclusion to the roster, due to his, uhm, unique berserking fighting style. I'm not a fan of his character, but I AM a fan of him as a fighter. Because maaan, Yamazaki can sure pack a scary punch, and such a fun one to main with. Intriguingly, his official reveal video somehow hints that he might be teaming up with Whip after all, no matter how odd that might sound (Yamazaki is a known criminal, while Whip works for a government-sanctioned task force).

And also, as I said, there are 4 and not just 3 characters. Just look at that updated silhouette. That alone is solid proof that we're going to get 2 more along the way. Well... unless the 3rd character is a four legged Centaur, of course. Now the question is, WHO will these two characters be? I've speculated the left one due to the hair style. But the right one? Assuming it's not a newly designed character, nor a crossover from other franchise, that fighting stance easily reminds me of the mercenary agent Vanessa who debuted on "The King of Fighters '99 Evolution", Malin who debuted on "The King of Fighters 2003", or Psycho Soldier's latest member Momoko who debuted on "The King of Fighters XI". Neither has been playable again since "The King of Fighters XII", but have shown up in the Team endings for "The Women Fighters" (just like Blue Mary) and "Psycho Soldier" (alongside Bao). The speculation gets narrowed down, once you start connecting them into a team alongside Whip and Yamazaki. Yes, only Vanessa make sense in this theory. What do you think?

For now, Yamazaki doesn't have an official release date yet. But using Whip as the example, I'm sure we'll hear more about that in the near future. In fact, we might need to prepare ourselves for the confirmation of the 3rd character, very soon...

Nintendo

I'm going to close this week's (and probably month?) R-N-D with a quick news from Nintendo. According to Wall Street Journal, the company is planning to double the production of their new hybrid game console, the Nintendo Switch. Manufacturers might produce 16 millions and not 8 as planned. This will be effective in the coming fiscal year that begins on April 2017, and ends on March 2018. This news didn't come officially from the Japanese company, which until now remains silent about it. But even if it's just a speculation, it certainly makes a lot of sense. There's a huge popular demand of the console in the market. Especially if we factor the massive popularity of "Zelda: Breath of the Wild" that has taken the world by storm, and the possibility of "Pokemon Stars" becoming a reality. Many gamers who are currently holding back, would at least be tempted to purchase, as more fresh titles coming in the next months. Some have even stated that they are only waiting for the right software to purchase one.

Speaking of games, looking forward to play "Sonic Mania" on your newly purchased Switch? Well, you're going to have to wait a wee bit longer. The game has been delayed to Summer, with SEGA officially stated that it was intentional to ensure the quality of the product. The company announced this on the Sonic the Hedgehog's SXSW 2017 panel, while previewing a new stage for the game, the >"Flying Battery Zone". At the same time, the company also revealed that Project Sonic 2017 has been officially titled as "Sonic Force". To be honest, before seeing the trailer again, I've completely forgotten that it works as some sort of sequel to "Sonic Generations". Which means, we're going to play two versions of Sonics, modern and classic. In fact, Sonic Team Studio head Takashi Iizuka even described it as "an evolution of Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations". Not just that, apparently there will be an additional 'style' that will be revealed in the coming months. A short gameplay footage featuring a level that focuses on modern Sonic has been made available for public. That DOES remind you of "Sonic Generations", huh?

Interested about these games? I know I do, eventhough I haven't managed to get the hybrid console. Then again, now that Nintendo is increasing the production, the likelihood of the product running out on stores is now close to none. At least until March 2018. So plenty of time for you and me to continue saving and get one for the Summer or Holidays, right? Good for us... *grins*

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