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flowerandblood · 5 months

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The Gate of Salvation [2/3]

[ young pope • Aemond x catholic • female ]

[ warnings: fingering, smut, sexual tension, angst, religious guilt, doubts related to faith, chauvinism ]

[ description: During the conclave, a new pope is elected, but to everyone's surprise, he does not intend to show himself to the crowds waiting for him. His ideas terrify the cardinals, and one of them convinces his niece, who is studying marketing, to talk to the new head of the Catholic Church in his presence. Main theme: sexual tension & holy touch. ]

A mini-series created as a thank you and celebration of my 2'500 followers. I initially plan that it will have about 3 chapters.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The Song of Songs (Oneshot) Death and Ressurection (Oneshot)

Aemond as a Pope Edit Series Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

After her meeting with the Pope, she had been writhing around all night, terrified and humiliated, unable to sleep. She couldn't forgive herself for her stupidity, for not seeing in time that it was obvious her uncle was trying to slip her over to the head of the Catholic Church like a snack he might be tempted to focus on.

The worst part was that he had hired her and she didn't know how she could take it back, defy the Pope himself, communicate that she was rejecting his proposal.

She got up before dawn, recognising that she would not get any rest anyway, and decided to take a warm shower. She thought while standing under the stream of hot water that she would try to distance herself, be professional and not give satisfaction to either her uncle or the Pope himself.

She hoped that when he finally decided to give any sort of interview the commotion around him would quiet down and she could quickly offer her resignation.

She sighed heavily, running her hand over her wet face, wondering how she was supposed to reconcile this madness with her classes at the University.

A car with the same driver as the day before arrived outside her townhouse again and took her straight to the Vatican; driving through its streets, she noticed that many people had pitched tents in and around St Peter's Square, waiting for any new information about their Pope.

She sighed quietly, resignedly thinking about how unnecessary his stubbornness actually was.

This time it was not her uncle waiting for her in the square, but a middle-aged priest who could have been her father, dressed in a plain black cassock. He smiled at her in a way that seemed genuine to her and she reciprocated the gesture when he indicated with a movement of his hand that she should move to follow him.

"The Pope is just having breakfast in the garden and he will receive you there." He said as they walked along the marble corridors filled with works of art; she looked at him surprised and sighed quietly, glancing out of the window, finding that it was indeed pleasant warm weather, the sky was cloudless.

They walked out one of the back exits to the cloisters into a small garden consisting of a maze formed of walls of shrubbery, which, however, easily led them to its centre, on which stood a large arbour styled in antique manner, with a dome and Corinthian-style columns.

She grinned with some kind of disbelief when she spotted his figure seated at an ornate small white table, his cassock also white, he held in his hands a newspaper he had just been looking through.

She thought with amusement that he was reading about himself.

Only when they got closer did she notice that other gazettes from different countries lay folded on the table top; the front pages of each asking who the new pope was, why he wasn't showing himself, why he was silent.

"Your Holiness." Said the priest standing next to her and nodded; the young pope, however, did not even bestow a single glance on them.

She pressed her lips together as she saw his thumb go to his mouth, he licked it and then used it to flip the page of the newspaper.

The priest who had brought her left them alone, as if he had already become accustomed to the lack of reaction and any culture on his part. She stared at him in silence for a moment, standing in front of him in the same dress as the day before, not having time to buy anything else.

"Holy Father." She said softly, wanting to get it over with, standing a few steps beside him.

He did not look at her, instead lifting his hand and extending it towards her, a signet ring of pure gold on his heart finger.

She looked at him for a moment in disbelief, then swallowed hard and walked towards him, grasping his warm hand in hers.

She leaned in, placing a quick, brief kiss on his ring and let him go immediately; he took his hand without even giving her a glance and went back to reading the newspaper.

She pressed her lips together feeling his intense, pleasant-smelling male perfume again.

"What do you think of what they write about me?" He asked, carelessly tossing the newspaper he had just read onto a pile of others, the discouragement on his face bordering on disgust, as if what he had read made him sick. "They are already reaching my family. Day and night they chat outside my mother's house."

She felt a tightness in her throat at his words and some kind of sympathy, because although he must have known what his decision entailed and what the consequences would be, some journalists crossed all possible boundaries, recognising no sanctity.

She shifted from foot to foot, looking at the French croissants that lay on one of the porcelain plates and a jar of strawberry jam, and reminded herself that she hadn't eaten breakfast. She grunted quietly, looking away, staring at the field flowers that grew around them – she spotted a gardener in the distance who was cutting the shrubs with his big steel shears.

"They won't stop until you give them something, Holy Father." She replied truthfully, hearing him snort under his breath.

"They will always want more." He replied dryly and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye – he was staring at her sitting with his legs crossed.

She shuddered and looked at him in disbelief as he pushed the other chair in front of her with his foot clad in white elegant shoes, moving it away.

"Sit down, child. You are pale. Did you eat breakfast today?" He asked disapprovingly, like a parent expressing their discontent. She shook her head and he sighed heavily, indicating with his hand gesture to the seat next to him.

She thought that this certainly had nothing to do with behaving according to protocol, but decided that it probably didn't matter much to him. She sat down next to him, smelling the intense scent of his perfume again, adjusting her dress, remembering not to sit with her legs crossed.

"Eat." He said dispassionately; she wasn't going to argue, figuring that since she was being forced to be at his every beck and call now, she could get something in return.

Therefore, she reached for the croissant and jam, which immediately drew the attention of her stomach – she casted him a wordless surprised glance as she heard the sound of the lighter being lit and the hiss of the cigarette he held in his mouth.

He took a deep drag and spread out comfortably in his chair, looking at her thoughtfully, letting the smoke out through his nose. He smirked, as if something in her gaze amused him.

"My chancellery contacted your University. They were happy to hear that you will be doing a sort of…internship here. You don't have to worry about your exams or classes." He hummed as if he was talking about something trivial and uninteresting, an irrelevant piece of information he had to convey to her, and took another drag, the tip of his cigarette igniting red.

"− what − but −" She started, but decided it made no sense; whoever he was, this man had clearly already planned everything for himself and had no intention of changing anything, much less asking her opinion.

"I thought you'd be pleased. Your uncle arranges for you accommodation and studies, the Pope makes sure you pass your exams without your personal involvement. Isn't that beautiful?" He asked with a sneer, and she felt a tightening in her throat, a cold sweat on her back; she stared wide-eyed at the half-cut croissant on which she had just spread jam, but lost the urge to eat.

He knew everything about her and thought she and her uncle were the same.

She pressed her lips together and leaned back against the backrest, placing her hands on the armrests even though she shouldn't be doing so and crossed her legs. She saw his gaze drop involuntarily to her bare knees, his cigarette burning slowly between his fingers.

"My uncle wants you to take me to your bed, Holy Father." She said quietly, recognising that she didn't have the strength for this, for their games, their hookups, the secrets they obviously adored, of which the entire Vatican was made.

She blinked when he chuckled, his pointing finger hitting his cigarette so that the ash from it fell to the stone floor beneath him.

"Tell me something I don't know. Eat. We have a lot of work ahead of us." He muttered, taking one last drag on his cigarette, letting the smoke out through his nose, extinguishing the remnants of it on his plate.

She stared at him with her heart pounding fast, thinking in disbelief that he really was a few steps ahead of everyone else.

He was perfectly informed, and although his words and actions seemed chaotic, there was purpose in them.

"What do you want, Holy Father?" She asked lightly, taking a piece of croissant into her mouth. He threw her an amused look and raised an eyebrow.

She had the impression that he took satisfaction in teasing her, his gaze fixed on her lips, which she involuntarily licked.

"Many things. Above all, holy peace and quiet, but I am not afforded it. Get up, let's take a walk." He said matter-of-factly and rose abruptly, putting his hands behind him, moving ahead without looking at her towards the corridors made of tall, evenly trimmed bushes.

She quickly swallowed the piece she just had in her mouth and stood up, following him, levelling her step with his, sunshine and birdsong all around them.

"We're being watched. It's harder for them to eavesdrop on me as I walk." He said coolly; she turned behind her and saw the gardener she noticed before, who was apparently just pretending to water the flowers around the arbour.

She looked at him in horror, realising that he must have been spied on all the time.

That they all wanted to know what he was going to do, surely he must have kept them in an iron grip since no picture of him had leaked to the press yet.

"What's going to make the atmosphere calm down and the journalists back off?" He asked discouraged, and she sighed quietly, looking up at the cloudless sky.

"Your private invitation."

She was surprised that her idea that he would hold a press conference where he would be invisible and only his voice could be heard appealed to him. He felt that, in fact, his faithful should hear his words and what he has to share with them, and this did not require his image to be revealed at all.

He decided to receive the TV and newspaper envoys in the Sistine Chapel, recognising that this was some kind of milestone moment that required a special place, a black veil was placed in front of his papal throne.

Although on the one hand it looked comical, on the other it added a sort of solemnity and impression of holiness, something tangible and yet inaccessible.

The cardinals and his office workers had prepared a script for him, which he tore in front of her eyes before the speech itself, handing her the shreds that remained of the pages, staring blankly at the black fabric in front of him. She took it from him, not knowing what else she could do; he demanded she be by his side in case someone asked an uncomfortable question.

Her heart was pounding like mad, she could feel the cold sweat on her back and wondered if he felt a similar anxiety.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and although his face was stony, he seemed even paler to her than usual, his large hands on which she could clearly see the outline of his veins clenched on his armrests – he sat comfortably on his throne with his legs crossed.

"Holy Father, why don't you want to show your face to your faithful? Is this some new kind of Vatican policy, a way of getting the whole world's attention?" They heard the question echoed by the first journalist on the other side of the curtain; she saw him press his lips together and swallow loudly before his cold, matter-of-fact, dispassionate voice began to spread around them.

"My face is not useful to my faithful for anything. They need my action. My causality. They need my intervention in matters of urgency, in the problems of paedophilia in the church, in the embezzlement and misuse of church assets, in the restoration of law and order, in the opening up of the church to young people who feel forgotten and unwanted. My face, my history, my personal views will distract them from all these things."

He said without stammering. She looked at him in disbelief, realising that he couldn't have prepared this answer beforehand.

He was saying straight from his heart what he was thinking and there was something touching about it.

Somehow she understood what he meant.

"What about the pilgrimages, what about the Sunday masses celebrated by the Pope?" Asked another journalist. She heard him sigh heavily, noticed that his hand trembled as he raised it to his face, tightening his fingers on the base of his nose.

"The Pope is not alone, he has his cardinals who can assist him in his missions around the world. As for the masses, I will attend them as a guest, but I will not be visible. The Pope is not unique. The Pope is chosen as first among equals. As Pope, I still remain a cardinal, one of the apostles. I am not Christ. I am not God."

She looked at him in pain, breathing unevenly through slightly parted lips, remembering what she had told him a few days earlier.

They need a guide, not another invisible God.

She couldn't believe that after what she had heard she had begun to feel sympathy for him – his answers seemed thoughtful and sensible, and she wondered if she had just seen his true nature, or if he was as perfect a manipulator as any of the cardinals.

She wondered how he had convinced them.

How he became Pope.

When it was all over he left without a word; the journalists were led away, and she prayed that it would help, that public opinion would calm down a little.

She watched all the news editions that evening with bated breath – the whole world quoted his statements and his decision, to her relief, most of the experts spoke warmly of him. The newspaper headlines also left her under no illusions.

The Pope has spoken. He doesn't want to show his face, only his actions.

The Pope who chooses the fight against paedophilia over the glamour of glory.

The Pope without a face − a new beginning.

The end of splendour − the Pope retreats to work like any of us.

The end of the church as we know it. The Pope at last again the voice of the weakest.

The next day she arrived in the Vatican with a stack of newspapers, eager to show him the result of their work, hoping it would satisfy him and allow her to return to normality.

"The Pope is exercising, but he said he would receive you." Said the priest, who was called Father Lenz, and who was apparently his private secretary, always waiting for her to lead her wherever he just happened to be.

"He's exercising?" She asked with amusement, and he just raised his eyebrows, himself clearly not knowing what he thought about it.

He opened the door for her and she stepped into a large room, with a beautiful baroque vaulted ceiling and hundreds of paintings on one side, rows of tall windows on the other, illuminating an exercise machine consisting of a small bench with a mattress on which he placed his back as he pulled on the railing at the end of which the weights hung, his legs braced on either side of the machine for balance.

He was dressed in white tracksuits.

She stared at the sight in disbelief, waiting for him to notice her; it only happened after a while when he took a break and sat down, reaching for a bottle of water standing on the old wooden floor. She lifted up a bundle of newspapers and he nodded, running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his breathing after his exertion.

She walked over to him and handed him the magazines she held in her hand; she felt a pleasant throbbing between her thighs feeling the smell of his sweat mixed with the scent of his perfume, his lips slightly swollen and pink from the blood that pulsed faster through his body.

He flipped through the front pages of the papers one by one and sighed quietly; she thought with surprise that there was a sort of expression of relief painted on his face, as if what was happening frightened him somewhere deep inside and filled him with anxiety.

He put them down at last, looking ahead, grabbing the white towel that hung over the railing at the other end of the machine.

"I prayed to God after I was elected. I prayed that he would show me the way, and although he usually answered me in some way, that evening he was silent. It was a silence full of rejection, as if the heavens did not agree with the decision of the conclave. How was I to go out to the crowds in such a situation, to convince them that Our Father in the heavens was sending me to them?"

He asked, rising with a quiet creak from the metal bench, surprising her completely with his words; because of his clothes and the way he spoke she had cognitive dissonance and had to remind herself that he was the Pope and not just a young man close to her age.

His confession touched her in some way – she was able to imagine his despair on the evening he was elected as people chanted his name, but it was the voice of God that he wanted to hear.

He stood a few steps away from her, drinking the contents of his small water bottle to the end, and stared ahead, as if he had returned with his mind to that time, as if he needed to get it out of himself.

"That's why I asked my faithful to pray from me. And what did they do? They despaired. They despaired that they could not see my face, that they could not touch me, tear me apart, dissect my private life and my past. I have never felt so lonely." He said with a regret from which she felt a squeeze in her throat and lowered her gaze, not knowing what to say, reminding herself with shame that she had thought the same thing about him as all those people.

"Perhaps it was also the will of the heavens. In the end, when the time comes everyone will face God alone. Maybe it was his words: don't follow the crowd, don't conform, that's not why I sent you." She said softly, but immediately regretted her words, recognising that she had no right to interpret anyone's spiritual experiences, much less those of the Head of the Church.

She heard him snort with amusement; he pulled a lighter and cigarettes from his pocket and for a moment she thought he would want to smoke in this beautiful baroque chamber, however, he moved ahead towards a small door other than the one she had entered through.

"Come." He hummed, so she moved after him, knowing that it was pointless to resist.

For the rest, the more she got to know him, the more she liked him.

They passed through a narrow corridor and began to climb up a stone staircase that spiraled around a large pillar – it seemed to her that they were in some older part of this great complex. They reached a small wooden door, and when he opened it they emerged onto the roof of one of the buildings located to the right of St Peter's Square.

The view in front of her struck her –the sun was rising over the Vatican, lazily leaning out from above the church standing in the centre of the square like a nimbus, the air around them pleasantly cool and crisp.

She watched as he moved ahead and walked closer to the stone wall, firing up his lighter and leaning forward with a cigarette in his mouth – there was something so obscene about the sight that she smiled involuntarily.

He looked at her over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow, taking a drag, then slid his cigarette out of his mouth with a motion of his hand and let the smoke out silently through his nose, shaking the ash to the ground with a flick of his finger.

"It has been reported to me that journalists are slowly making their way into my past. Don't worry, I don't think it's your fault. I knew it would happen, but I thought I had more time." He murmured lowly seeing her surprised, horrified face, suddenly as if tired and discouraged, taking another drag with a quiet hiss of fire.

She thought looking at his silhouette illuminated by the first rays of the sun, that he looked like a saint.

"I want you to hear it from me. Will you listen to what I have to say?" He asked calmly and she nodded, feeling her heart pounding fast, looking at him with her lips slightly parted, terrified of what he wanted to tell her.

"My mother I told you about is a nun. She adopted me a few years after I was placed in a convent orphanage." He said calmly, looking away, staring at the crowds of people walking around St Peter's Square.

"They took me from the woman who gave birth to me because she liked to inject various stimulants into her veins. She was asleep when one of her men decided he didn't like the way I looked at him, that I was complaining about being hungry. He decided that he would gouge my eyes out, but he only succeeded with one, my screaming would wake even the dead."

He muttered, not looking at her but somewhere in the distance, letting out a puff of smoke with a deep breath; she looked at him with her eyebrows arched in pain feeling the squeeze in her throat, her cheeks red with emotion.

She wanted to say something but was afraid to interrupt him, she knew that what he was telling her was of the utmost importance and she wondered if anyone else knew about all this, if he had confided in anyone.

"Sister Alicent after I was brought in wouldn't let me call her my mother. So I called every woman I saw that, cooks, cleaners, teachers. She adopted me in the end, unable to look at it anymore. She got a dispensation from the Pope." He said lowly, throwing the cigarette butt on the ground, crushing it with his completely white Adidas.

"Some trashy, cheap magazines are already writing about the fact that I am the son of a nun and the Pope, others with mockery recognise that I am certainly her immaculate conception. That they mock me doesn't bother me, but it fills me with sadness that journalists stand outside her house all day. She can't even go out shopping or gardening. I guess you think the only way out of this situation would be an interview where I would tell my story?"

He asked disapprovingly, looking at her finally; she was shocked and horrified that he was asking her opinion on such an important matter. She shook her head helplessly, shrugging her shoulders.

"You cannot allow them to make your mother a hostage, Holy Father. You must show strength. Call press conferences where you talk about what decisions you make, but don't answer questions about your family. In the Vatican, you are Pius XIII, not Aemond Targaryen. When they see that they cannot blackmail you, they will let go. In my opinion, you both have to bear it." She said what she thought, thinking in the back of her mind that journalists would always want more and the matter would only get worse.

He looked at her silently as if analysing her words and sighed finally, kicking a stone that lay under his feet with his shoe.

"Have you ever kissed?" He asked lightly and she looked at him with shock written all over her face, feeling her heart pounding like crazy, her cheeks burning with heat.

She couldn't believe such a question had come out of his mouth.

"You don't have to answer. I'm just curious. I've never kissed anyone." He replied after a moment, seeing her embarrassed reaction, as if he wanted to clarify and elaborate that his interest was purely scientific and theoretical.

She swallowed loudly, pressing her lips together, thinking that he had told her about himself, about the most private aspects of his life, and decided that nothing bad would happen if she answered him.

"Once, in high school." She muttered, stroking her arm in a gesture of uncertainty and embarrassment, looking away. She heard him hum under his breath, intrigued.

"Did it feel good?" He asked softly, standing a few steps away from her with his hands tucked into his snow-white tracksuit bottoms, cocking his head.

She looked up at him in disbelief, breathing erratically, clasping her hands tighter, involuntarily her gaze escaped to his full, glistening lips.

"It was a very moist, soft and warm sensation." She muttered feeling a tightness in her throat, her gaze fleeing from his eyes to his lips, unable to stop herself from imagining how wonderful it would be to feel how they tasted.

"Hm." He murmured, looking away thoughtfully.

They stood like that for a moment in silence – she could feel the wordless tension around them, as if electricity flowed through the air with their every word and movement.

"Did you confess this deed?"

She blinked and felt her heart stop. She shook her head, looking at him with slightly parted lips.

"Pardon?" She asked in disbelief, feeling discomfort in her lower abdomen and a cold sweat on her back, not believing that he was suggesting such a thing.

"Failure to maintain chastity before marriage is a sin." He replied indifferently; she pressed her lips together, feeling tears of shame and humiliation under her eyelids, her eyebrows arched in pain.

"So I am a sinner, Holy Father." She said coldly, and turned away, leaving without any pleasantries or even a simple goodbye.

She burst out sobbing as she ran down the narrow stairs.

It was only a kiss.

She just wanted to see what it was like.

In fact, she felt bad afterwards, but not because she thought it was a sin, but because she was not in love with this boy.

She asked Father Lenz for any of the drivers to take her home; seeing her face red from tears he asked what had happened, but she did not answer him.

She opened up to him, spoke about an intimate part of her life, and he could only judge her, make her another Eve, a fallen woman.

It was only a kiss.

She returned to her flat filled with regret and disappointment – she angrily pulled off her long dress she had bought and chosen specially to be able to present herself as expected, to keep herself humble, but for what?

She decided that she would never appear there again.

There was no kind of real contract between the two of them, she had only signed documents regarding her collaboration with the Pope's secretaries and a confidentiality clause.

She changed into her pyjamas, undid her hair, took the box of leftover cakes from the cupboard and lay in bed, browsing social media platforms on her phone, trying not to think about what had happened.

She tilted her head back and groaned in frustration when she saw that her uncle had started to call her. She muted her phone and flipped the screen down, sighing.

She lay back on her bedding, staring blankly at the window, and thought with pain that the man who should be giving her the strength to be a better person had made her doubt herself, made her feel sinful and dirty.

She started to think that maybe she should go to confession after all, that maybe he was right, that she was only making excuses for herself without wanting to admit that she was wrong, but she felt even worse at that thought and just burst out crying.

Exhausted by sobbing and remorse, she finally fell asleep, seeing only through her closed eyelids that the phone display lying next to her glowed again and again.

She shuddered, rising quickly to sit up in complete darkness when she heard someone's loud knock on her door; she looked around with a pounding heart, not knowing where she was, whether it was evening or morning.

She glanced at her phone and saw that she had slept for several long hours and the sun had set, on her screen 20 missed calls from her uncle and a plethora of text messages that she didn't have the energy to read.

She sighed heavily and got up, walking reluctantly to the door, knowing her uncle would now make a litany for her; she turned on the night light on the way so she wouldn't trip over anything and she turned the lock, opening it.

"Oh God."

She muttered, seeing the figure of the young Pope in front of her, still in the same white tracksuit and sneakers.

He had his hood up over his head.

He pulled the white earphones out of his ears with a soft flick of his hand – she could hear the heavy metal music playing from them.

"Will you let me in?" He asked indifferently; she looked at him in disbelief, thinking he was risking a lot by going outside just to see her.

She sighed quietly and stepped back, allowing him to go inside. She leaned out wanting to check if anyone had seen him and closed the door quickly.

She glanced at him over her shoulder and saw that he had turned off the music on his player and put it back in his pocket.

They stood for a moment in silence, his gaze focused on her naked thighs; she swallowed loudly with shame at the thought that she was standing before the Head of the Catholic Church in nothing but pyjamas consisting of cream shorts and a shirt buttoned up the front, under which she didn't even have a bra.

She turned her head, running her trembling hand over her face, her heart pounding like mad.

"I made a mistake." She heard his voice full of regret. "I wanted your uncle to pass it on to you, but you didn't answer."

"I didn't and don't feel like talking to anyone, Holy Father." She muttered, feeling a tightening in her chest, fiddling restlessly with the cross hanging on her neck.

She heard him swallow loudly and look to the side, pulling the hood off his head.

"I made you doubt in yourself. In your purity and your value in the eyes of God." He said lowly, and she felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes for the umpteenth time that day. She closed her eyelids and tilted her head back, trying to control herself, not letting them flow out.

She did not reply.

"My words arise from my depravity, which I fight unsuccessfully. From my vanity and jealousy. I would rather have you locked up in a convent. You could then be by my side and no one would ever touch you again. You could be mine." He said softly, thoughtfully, looking at some point on the floor, as if he had drifted off completely in his musings – she felt her lips part in disbelief, her brow arching in pain.

I would rather have you locked up in a convent.

You could be mine.

What was she to reply to such a shocking confession?

She shuddered when he finally turned his attention to her, the gaze of his healthy eye sharp and piercing, while his artificial one was empty, white, lifeless.

"Though never before have my members reacted to the sight and thought of a woman, when I see you, I long to touch you, to taste you, to smell you. I have become addicted to your scent and try to recall it after evening prayer before I fall asleep." He spoke calmly, as if it was not an emotionally driven statement but something thought out, something that had been going on in his head for a very long time.

She felt with fear how her body reacted to his words with a greedy throbbing between her thighs and a moisture from which the material of her underwear was getting wet, her nipples hardened, more clearly visible from under her shirt.

She froze when she saw his gaze flee to her breasts, seeing exactly what she feared, his full lips parted slightly; she could hear his breathing clearly, fingers of his hands rubbing against each other in an anxious, nervous gesture.

"What do you feel now?" He whispered and she drew in the air loudly, feeling a tightness in her throat. She licked her lips dry from stress, taking a step backwards, hitting her back against the wall, feeling that she had nowhere to run. She helplessly clenched her thighs together, wanting to stop what was happening, seeing that his pupil widened at the sight.

"I'm wet." She confessed in shame, recognising that there was no point in pretending that there was something innocent in what was happening – her body was twitching with desire, begging for his touch and relief, her heart pounding like mad.

She heard him draw in a loud breath at her words while looking straight into her eyes, she saw fire in them, heavenly or hellish.

"Does it feel good?" He asked softly, gazing shamelessly at the spot between her thighs – she felt a wonderful heat in her lower abdomen and a tickling inside her, her walls were clenching around nothing at his question.

She thought helplessly that she had never felt anything like this before in her life.

"Yes." She whispered in a trembling voice, feeling her whole body quiver and pulsate, feeling desire in her fingertips, in her lips and down there, deep, deep inside her.

She shuddered as he approached her with a slow step and lifted her terrified gaze to him. His lips were parted in an anxious, hitched breath, in his eyes heat and darkness from which she felt a squeeze in her throat and between her thighs.

He stood over her, for a moment just looking at her – his trembling hands finally raised, reaching for the buttons of her shirt. They looked at each other with some kind of pain and suffering from which she felt a sting in her heart as a coldness enveloped her naked skin.

It seemed to her that it lasted an eternity – he took his time, his gaze fixed on the line of her bare body as he unbuttoned her shirt fully; he didn't expose her breasts, he just looked at her.

She gasped when he lifted his hand and ran his fingertips slowly over her sternum down to her stomach – she closed her eyes and sighed quietly, feeling her lips pulsate with desire, swollen and thirsty.

"− so soft − so warm −" He whispered; her quivering palm rose and touched his fingers, his hand larger and more massive than hers, she could feel the outline of his veins clearly under her skin.

She pressed his hand to her heart, heard him draw in the air hard as he felt it beat beneath his fingertips.

He looked at her, remaining still, as if frozen, knowing that one word from him, one expression of hesitation and they would be left with only shame, only regret, only disappointment.

She felt the tears under her eyelids, which involuntarily one by one ran down her face; he noticed it and shook his head, his breathing shaky, uneven, despairing.

"− you're so pure −" He whispered, nuzzling the tip of his nose into her cheek as if seeking refuge. She clenched her eyelids in shock at how intimate and desired this closeness was, his scent filled her entire lungs, his warm breath enveloped her cheek.

"− looking at you I feel terror because I regret − I regret that I will never feel you − that I will never give you what I want −" He muttered in a trembling voice; she felt his warm tears running down her skin.

They both gasped when his shaking hand tentatively began to slide lower and sobbed in pleasure as his fingers slipped hesitantly under the material of her shorts, deep between her thighs.

They were panting and quivering with desire, her trembling hands clenched on his arms as his fingertips pushed the material of her underwear aside with a shy gesture full of shame, she heard his low, helpless groan as he felt how wet she was.

"− God, help me −" He mumbled in a broken voice full of guilt – she tried but was unable to stop the moans of pleasure that left her mouth with each tentative movement of his fingers that brushed her swollen, throbbing womanhood, her body was so tense she felt she was on the edge.

"− please −" She whimpered pleadingly, placing her hand on his with a gesture full of desperation, wanting to feel him harder, deeper.

She tilted her head back as she finally felt him the way she wanted to, his fingertips digging into her fleshy, hot, moist folds with intense, circular strokes – she could feel his hot, ragged breath on her skin, his face pressed against her cheek, her hands clenched in a helpless gesture on the material of his sweatshirt.

Tears of despair and delight streamed down their faces, tired of pretending and fleeing, shivers ran down her spine every time the tips of his fingers teased again that tender bud from which her sobriety of mind was taken away; it seemed to her that their bodies were moving on their own, something hard and throbbing under his trousers rubbing against her thigh with desperate strokes.

"− forgive me − say you forgive me −" He mumbled pleadingly in a breaking voice.

She felt him trembling all over just like her, unable to stop now, knowing there was no way back, her face wet with her and his tears.

She reached her palm into his hair and combed through it with her fingers, letting out her breath with a loud sob, moving involuntarily to the rhythm of his hand as it pressed harder and harder against her fleshy skin with the lewd click of her moisture.

"− I forgive you − I forgive you and ask for forgiveness −" She gasped as she felt something approaching, moaning louder and louder.

She thought that despite the fact that he was touching her in this forbidden, sinful place, some incomprehensible kind of intimacy and innocence was added to what was happening by the fact that he hadn't exposed her naked body, that he hadn't wanted to possess her, only to experience something with her and in her presence.

"− good God, you're leaking − so sticky − I'll lick it off my fingers −" He whispered with a kind of awe, as if he were talking about something sacred and mysterious.

She felt that his words had done something to her – she cried out loudly, parting her lips in disbelief when suddenly a wave of warm pleasure surged through her body like a lightning bolt.

She felt wonderful tickling in her lips, in the tips of her fingers, in her breasts, in her chest, her inside's clenching greedily around nothing, her moisture trickled down onto his hand, she heard his low, surprised groan.

Her body suddenly became numb; she would have fallen if he hadn't put his arm around her in time, his hand ran over her cheek heated from the exertion.

"− you look like Bernini's Saint Teresa − so beautiful −" He mumbled in a trembling voice, panting hard along with her, looking at her dreamily. She sighed sweetly, laying her head on his chest, letting him embrace her tightly.

She could feel his manhood throbbing under the damp material of his sweatpants.

He came.

She stayed in his embrace not daring to look at him, not daring to think about what they had done, wanting to push back the moment when they would feel remorse, pain and regret, sinking only into this wonderful relief.

You look like Bernini's Saint Teresa.

A sculpture in which a holy woman curves in ecstasy after an angel pierces her with an arrow of Divine Love.

God's Delight.

______

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

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the-modern-typewriter · 6 months

Note

Hey! Asking for some writing advice here.

How does one write a villain exactly. In a very simple world with no superpowers and stuff how do you give them motivation. How do you make them slowly descent into villainy. Somehow when the villain actually thinks they're doing the right thing until the very end?

Thx love

There are a few different questions here that I'm going to try to to unpick.

I'll start with a brief overview of the connections between protagonist + antagonist, just because recognising them can be really useful in shaping your own ideas. Then I'll dive into motivation. So.

Antagonist + Protagonist = CONFLICT

If you know your protagonist well, then you have all the ingredients you need to write a great villain/antagonist for them too. Here is why.

Your villain/antagonist is, at the most basic fundamental starting point, something that is between your protagonist and what the protagonist wants/needs. As a very simple example, if your protagonist wants to make sure that everyone is free, then your antagonist is going to in some way be involved with making sure they are not free. Once you know what your antagonist needs to do in a story, then it's a lot easier to pose the question to yourself of 'okay, why would someone do that?'

Villains often reflect an opposite or warped view of the values and motivations that your protagonist has. They mirror or foil your main character. So, your antagonist's motivation will often be either opposite to the protagonist (e.g, your protagonist is motivated by selflessness, so your antagonist is motivated by selfishness in some way) or they will be the same motivation or value gone twisted (e.g. we both have people we love who we would do anything to protect...it's the villains way of acting on that motivation that makes them the villain, not the motivation.)

Of course, you can not have your antagonist + protagonist connected in this way. This is often the case if the source of conflict in your story is not another actual character or if you have a more generic villain. Lots of great stories have generic villains. It typically just means the villain is not a focus. It might be, like, about the friendships made in the journey instead.

Motivations:

I find it helpful to think of all my characters having two motivations.

The external story-specific motivation. This is whatever the antagonist is trying to achieve in your particular story and where things like genre and superpowers etc come into play.

The internal motivation that is more universal. The internal motivation is, while still specific to the character, the driving emotions and values. With a villain, that is often hatred or fear or lust for power because they're villains, but as noted earlier it can be a twisted form of love, or a strong sense of an injustice committed against them. This shapes the external motivation (e.g. 'lust for power = I want the throne, 'fear' = I'm going to kill or belittle or control what scares me so I don't have to feel scared anymore', justice might equal revenge or gaining power to ensure that a wrong is corrected. ) It could also be a bias or a prejudice that they're raised on driving them, that they genuinely believe in. Lots of possibilities!

I think this is true of people as well. We have our foundational core beliefs and desires (to be loved, to succeed, to be accepted whatever) and then we have the things we try to get in the real world to meet those needs (whether they really will or not).

Either way, it's the second one that comes into play with the slow descent into villainy and the villain thinking that they're doing the right thing until the end. Because, initially, their heart genuinely is not in a villainous place. They may actually be doing the right thing at the start. And then bad things happen. They are changed by the journey. They are a protagonist gone tragic.

We all experience emotions that can drive us to behave poorly; the desire for revenge or recognition, to ensure that the people we care about are safe, to get money so that we can provide for ourselves and others etc. None of us are without prejudice or privilege. Those things do not make you a villain, but they can be an excellent starting place for one.

Think about times when you've messed up. A villain is often an exaggerated version of that. You start pushing your own boundaries because there is something you really want/need and, depending on how far you push that...do you feel like you can still go back? Or do you feel like you might as well finish it after everything. At what point do you breathe for air, look up at what you've done, and go shit.

That's the villain who realises way too late that they're the villain.

Final note: I've been using antagonist and villain pretty interchangeably here...but they have slightly different connotations. Your antagonist does not have to be a villain to be effective. They just have to be an obstacle to the protagonist. E.g. if two people are going for the same dream job or trying to win a competition, the other competitors are antagonists to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean they're villainous or bad people. Whether you have an outright villain will depend on your story.

I hope this helps!

Some going further questions to take with you.

Is your villain trying to stop your protagonist from reaching their goal? Or is your protagonist trying to stop the antagonist from reaching their goal?

How does the villain's external goal in the story reflect the inner need? Note. They are aware of their external goal. Most people are not aware of the inner goal in the same way.

Do you know what you want your stories themes to be? (This doesn't have to be complicated and it's fine if you don't, that's what editing is for). Your protagonist and antagonist often weigh in on these themes. For example, your antagonist might be a path the protagonist could have gone down, if they made a different choice or something happened differently in their past.

#villains #antagonist #writing advice #writing tips #writing talk #writing villains #writing tip #writing help #character creation #character building

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bellanoche-oxo · 5 months

Note

I'm sorry this isn't a commission, but I just have a question about your art. Feel free to ignore this, of course. I was really amazed by your Miku drawing from December 16th. Seeing such a high-level piece, I wanted to achieve something similar, but no matter how much I try, I can't replicate your shading and highlights. I was so genuinely curious that I couldn't sleep. Could you possibly give me any hints or advice?

Hey, sorry for making you wait so much for this answer, i've been finishing some projects and i barely had free time. Anyways i'll try to do my best on explaing my coloring and lighting methos and you also asked me to explain how i create the folings of the clothes. Please take in consideration that 1 i am not native in english so it's a bit difficult for me to explain myself sometimes in this language and i may have some misspelings, sorry about that, and also 2 i am not great at explaing my drawing process bc i kind of turn off my brain when i draw lol, but i can explain the fundamentals that i know and help me create! Last thing i want to let you know is that i've started glazing my art, this is a metho to protect the images for AI images generators and it leaves a kind of pattern /effect on the image that i did not put there during the drawing process.

with all of this said let me start explaining things!

Learn the basics:

This may come as a cliche i guess, but yes my first ever advise to anyone is learn the basic theory on lighting and colors (on anything related to art tbh). You don't really need to spend a lot of money on books and such as there are lots of resources online like videos and documents you can read for free. It's not necesary to be an expert and even the smallest mount of knoledge is enought to inpruve your art a lot! , i find it very interesting to learn the way things work too so don't think you'll get bored of it!

To be frank, i am actually not very good at lighting lol. My lights and shadows are not very correct, but since i do have a lot o control over my colors and i know very well how to used them it kind of compensates and creates a very recognisable (i think) style.

just u know basic shitty advise that everyone is going to give you but it works! if you have free time try watching some videos or reading some documents about color theory shadow and lighting!

Your working space:

So this is something that works FOR ME not everyone likes it, you can try it see if you like it and if you do, cool! if you don't … that's cool too! When drawing on digital i prefer it when my base layer is grey instead of white. It helps with my headaches too but it's more about the fact that starting in a middle tone when coloring (in my opinion) makes the process of briging out both shadows and lights easier, let me give you an example:

Drawing from complete light (white) to compplete darkness (black) may condicion you to actually lose control in the contrast betwen these areas, i prefer staring in a middle place (grey) and that way is i want to show darkness i'll use a darkr color and if i want to show light i'll use a lighter color, but if i start on white i can't use anything lighter. I think i did a HORRIBLE job explaing myself there, but yeah it just helps me control my color valius a bit more lol.

this is the color that i used:

Another inportant thing about your woking space is you brushes, in my case i prefer using textured brushes that mix well, and i prefer using very thick strokes, if it's too think i'll just color pick the transparent color and ease it! I work in CSP i don't know what you use, but just in case i'll give you the setiings of the brushes i use the most with their codes so you can find them

Sculpting with lights and shadows

As i said before, i am not very good with light yet, so this is something that i do to help me with the process. When you think about it, lighting is used in art to give volume to the piece, not in every case bc rules in art are not there to be followed but to asist us when we need to take a creative decision. The way that we can start with our Sculpting is by creating a very easy first guide othe the shadows and lights and to do it with very big block, so that we get the general shape first,we don't neet to get lost in the detailds yet

The actual coloring

When drawing my process is divided in three stages. I first create the doodle/lineart, that doesn't neet to be super neat as i will fix it during the rendering. The basic colors, and the rendering.

During the preparation for the rendering when doing the base colors i recomend that you give special atention to the focal points of your illustration, in this case for example that's her face and the top of the hair, that's why i gave so much more atention for this part in comparation to the shirt, that it's literally not shadowed yet. Then another step that i use normally before rendering and that i can NOT RECOMEND ENOUGHT!!!! GO WILD WITH THE COLOR CURVES!!!! OMG!!!! THAT STUPID LITTLE TOOL IS SO FUCKING COOL!!!!!!!!! like for real, it gives effects that i have not been able to achive in any other way and omggggggg use the fucking color curves pleaaaaaaseeeeee

ok i'm notmal again , lets continue.

For the rendering i usually convine all the layers of the drawing on one layer, then use a textured brush that has low opacity of mixes very well fot the actual work. Tbh here is very i can't really help you a lot, bc i have no idea what i'm doing when i render i just don't know, the only thing i recognise is that i try to esare or clean the lines from the doodle/lineart, and i focus a lot on creating volume in the places that are more important.

Skins

An specific thing that i do a lot when it comes to coloring skin is using an undertone in red (literally) I will put the basi color, use the brush to mark where i want shadows to be in a very vibrant red and then use a blue / green / pruple (depends on the skin) to finish the shadowing. Thios metho is nice for lots of occasions, but take in consideration that it doesnt work for example for very dark scenarios where the character is suppoused to be in the shadows, as that red tone works as a outline for the light. It just depends on the situation.

Clothes foldings:

Ok so here the only thing i can give you an advise with is to remember that the way that clothes fold dependes on gravity and that gravity works in curves most of the time that have two (or more) attachment points that are going to determinate theit trajectory. Example:

And remeber that this creates (again) a volume, that there is an inside part, that it's probably going to be draker, and an outside part, that it's going to be lightter. With this info you can start practicing with images of clothes.

this is as much information as i am able to recolect on my coloring process bc i am horrible explaining , spacially on text and in english, and i am also not very much aware when i draw, i kind of disconect. I still hope this is enough to help you a bit on your learning journy.

I may try doing a video at some point if i ever have the time so i can explain my coloring while i actually do it bc if not in that situation i'm not sure i'll be able to remeber what it is that i did.

My last piece of advise is to watch speedpaints and livestreams of artists you like during their drawing process and maybe even tray to imitate them while they are drawing to see what it is that they do exccly.

hope you have a good day and lot of lucks ! be proud of being able to create and be proud of being an artist!

#my art #art advice #color and light #aaa i'm reading and i have lots of missplesings sorry about that aaaa

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heerinnie · 3 months

Text

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬

𝐏.𝐉𝐒

SYNOPSIS: Long term lovers, long term friends. Nothing and no one could come in between you and Jay other than your fear of intimacy.

WARNINGS: tooth-rotting fluff and smut, bf!jay x inexperienced fem!reader, reader has a fear of intimacy, implied s/a (not graphic), soft!Jay (he’s so sweet in this I cried a little when writing, making out, dry humping, mentions of oral (f!), Jay’s experienced but his body count’s like 2, blasphemy, written with the song Training Wheels by Melanie Martinez in mind

A/N: This is very very self-indulgent, writing is a way i cope with my experience in these situations so I feel like I healed a little part of me by acknowledging it happened and it wasn’t my fault, instead I’m turning it into something comforting. This works for me and for some others however i recognise that it may be triggering for others even if there aren’t any graphic mentions of s/a only the aftermath, please only read this if you’re in the right headspace. Any disrespectful comment will be deleted and blocked from my account 🤍

WC: 1274

^^ NSFW UNDER CUT, MINORS DNI (not proofread)

It all happened so quickly and yet you were still stuck here, still scarred 2 almost 3 years in the past. Time doesn’t heal wounds, physical ones? Yes but this feeling you could never shake off even if you tried your hardest, you couldn’t heal especially not alone.

You weren’t the an overly religious person, definitely not after your trust was broken. If there was a god well they’re a dick, if god was real why did you get hurt? You didn’t do anything wrong you were so kind…so bright until a shadow blew your flame away and forced you to live in a chamber of your own inner darkness. It was not your fault, you didn’t do anything you were just there...

That flame grew smaller and smaller until it suddenly disappeared and all that was left was a trail of smoke showing that at some point in time you were burning and warming everyone’s hearts whilst yours was barley flickering trying so hard to stay alight.

So many things changed with Jay's re-entry into your life, everything seemed to change directions and you felt like there was a purpose for your existence. Despite the lingering pain and heartache thats been consuming you, his presence felt like a much needed breath of fresh air. It was as if he had come to you as a guardian angel pulling you out of the misery you were dwelling in. He gave you the comfort that you didn't even know you needed until he appeared. The one which eased the damages of your heart.

“I think I'm ready” You've told him this so many times that you're starting to feel guilty for giving him this false hope. You know you've pulled back on your words before, so you understand why he may be sceptical. However, this time is different. You've taken the time to reflect on your feelings and you're sure that you're finally ready. You want to show Jay that you're committed and prepared to take the next step in your intimacy and you're willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

He obviously had some doubts however, he took the time to affirm that you were genuinely ready and that you wouldn't have any regrets. He's always so patient and understanding which is not surprising considering that he has always been your best friend before he even had the privilege of calling himself your boyfriend. Someone who understands you better than anyone else, your soulmate in all and every way.

Your relationship with him is built on trust, understanding and respect and it was so scary, you've never been treated so well before Jay and it showed but he was patient with the time it took time to get used him.

“I’m 100% sure” you got up and sat on his lap. You were fine and it felt right, this time you were in control of the situation and you weren’t uncomfortable with the feeling of sitting crotch to crotch with your boyfriend.

It felt like there was a force pulling your lips toward his as you leaned in to connect with each other and in an instant, you felt a rush of intense emotions overwhelm you. Your pupils dilated and your heartbeat quickened as it was trying to catch up with the sudden flood of feelings. It was a moment of pure realization- this was what true love felt like, and now you knew it with absolute confidence.

You weren't Jay’s first but at this moment he felt like you were, he had like two quick fucks with past short term girlfriends but this time it felt different. His heart was running laps and it was like all the air in his lungs disappeared as soon as your plush lips met his. He mentally cursed himself for growing hard already but in his defence, he had the most beautiful girl on his lap making out with him and as much as it made him nervous he couldn't help but get aroused when you started slowly grinding on his bulge to set the mood.

Your lungs were beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen as the room was filled with loud and wet noises of lips smacking, what started off as a passionate slow kiss quickly turned into a deeply heated make out session. Tongues dancing in an animalistic rhythm, hands travelling anywhere they could- you finally unlocked another level of intimacy with your boyfriend.

As you reflect on the situation you're in right now you can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude. You think back to all the moments you've shared together, from the first time you met to the night you opened up to him about your trauma. The thought that someone like Jay could choose to be with you fills you with so much happiness and you can't help but break into a fit of giggles at the sheer joy of it all. It's a feeling that's difficult to describe, but you know that you're grateful for every moment you get to spend with him.

Your hips moved faster as a result of the friction you felt, you moaned when it sent shocks of pleasure straight to your core and down your spine. When you adjusted to a better angle jays grip on your hips tightened, he let out a soft moan that sounded like music to your ears. You felt his soft palm touch your cheek signalling to look at him and once your eyes met he couldn’t control his body as he started thrusting in his hips into you.

Nearing closer and closer to your climax your head starting spinning when Jay let out moans and groans whereas you couldn’t keep even the smallest noises of pleasure within yourself, you noticed a tiny bead of sweat forming at the top of his sun-kissed skin. It was already a hot day but the way he was thrusting and you were grinding felt like the heating went up covering you in sweat. As you watched his face contort with pleasure you couldn't help but think that you had never seen a man this beautiful, both inside and out. His broad shoulders flexed to keep up with the movement of his hips and placement of his hands on your stuttering body, his chiseled features were accentuated by the dimmed living room light highlighting the sweat that trickled down his face. Despite the heat, he remained focused, determined to give you the best he could at the moment trying to leaving a lasting impression to say that sex isn’t as scary when it’s with the love of your life and you couldn't help but admire him for wanting to give you it all.

With all that work you finally felt your orgasm hit with jay’s quickly following after. You stayed laying on him ignoring the uncomfortable wetness on your panties as your blown out pupils stared off onto the empty space on the couch next to where you two rested,

“That felt amazing” you hummed agreeing with your boyfriend, “but if you’re up for it I can show you how good it can really feel” he purred, you felt his cock hardening again with the way you were spread out on him. In a span of seconds you two ran towards your shared bedroom preparing for a long night of what pleasure with your loved one really feels like starting off strong with jay devouring your pussy for the first time as an apology for the lack of dirty talk and foreplay he didn’t do before.

A/N: I’m not really happy with the ‘smut’ I rushed it and I think you can tell 😭 I haven’t posted in forever so this is a little filler for my hee fic that’s like 3/4 done (currently like 4K words idk 🤷🏽‍♀️) but I hope you guys enjoyed this little treat <3

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saintslewis · 9 months

Text

❝ 𝐂𝐎𝐙𝐘 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 — 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

˖ ࣪⭑ - pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!oc

˖ ࣪⭑ - summary: imagine you go for dinner at your neighbours house and you’re told you’re getting married? you better get cozy for this one!

˖ ࣪⭑ - warnings for this chapter: none

˖ ࣪⭑ - saint’s team radio: hey y’all…. i told you guys i don’t have a planned schedule for this series and i’m really starting to think i should 😭. i hope you guys enjoy this and lemme know if you wanna be tagged 🤭

masterlist

previous chapter • next chapter

"Renaissance yachtin' in capri!" Nadia sang as she entered the driveway of the Hamiltons only a week after the first dinner. Knowing her mother's dramatics, Thembi had once again requested her presence at the home except she had to drive straight to the Hamiltons house. Finding the situation weird but not giving it a second thought, she parked next to the all black G63, one of her many dream cars and one she hadn't seen the last time she was here. Thinking it was just a simple visit (and Thembi hadn't given her a chance to dress up after the phone call), Nadia fixed the Nike tee and adjusted the biker shorts she had worn throughout her chill Saturday morning.

Knocking on the wooden door felt weird, given that she was welcomed into the house before but she felt like something quite suspicious was going on but she couldn't even figure it out. Rubbing her eye whilst waiting for someone to answer the door, she wrote a few reminders on her phone to not forget to complete the work she had to take home from the previous day.

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine?" Nadia had recognised the voice to be Nicola, adding a little laugh after her sentence. "I woke up late so this is valid." Nadia replied, giving a smile as she entered the house with Nicola making room for her to walk in. After the first dinner, the two women had kept in touch because of the growing friendship and Willow, who would send a voice message every day to say hi. But this time, Nadia couldn't hear the kids laughing or playing around the house.

Oh, this was serious.

"Is that Nadia, darling?" Linda's voice chimed through the entrance hallway leading to the living room. "Hello Mrs Hamilton." The young woman greeted, giving Linda a side eye as she held a glass of water in her hand. "Please Nadia, rather call me Linda. Do come through, my dear!"

"We're out by the patio, need the bathroom before we start?" Nicola asked, making Nadia way more confused the more footsteps she took. "Start with what?" She trailed off, seeing Nicola just smile and head into the direction of the patio with her following. This was officially starting to get weird but Nadia chose to push her thoughts aside for this lunch.

"Oh she's here! How was the drive, Nads?" Her mom spoke up as soon as Nadia's foot hit the wooden floor of the large patio. Different types of charcuterie boards were placed with juices and waters to accommodate everyone but the atmosphere seemed so different from the dinner last week, it rather felt like a meeting.

"Helloooo." Nadia dragged out the greeting as she eventually found an empty seat, once again, next to Lewis. The man was genuinely a sight to see as the sun shined on him as he sat comfortably on the patio bench chair. Wearing a black NY cap, a graphic tee once again with a pair of jeans this time and his jewellery on display, Lewis smiled up at her with a toothy grin.

After personally greeting everyone around the table and answering their fast questions, she plopped down onto the chair with a few of her bracelets clanging together. The familiar scents of each other from the last time they met fused together as they both studied each other once again.

Nadia's tattoos were finally on display, each dainty artwork fluttered around her skin with a few being inked in red. The most noticeable thing being her hair as she changed the colour to black and it reached past her back. The makeup was very simple and she only carried her phone and lipgloss in her hand as she placed the overly cracked device onto the table right next to Lewis'. When she smiled, he noticed a small gem on one of her front teeth and he definitely admired her style, not one he would regularly picture on a high school teacher.

"You know Nadia, we were just talking about how odd it would be to suddenly become famous within a matter of hours." Linda started, grabbing the large jug of grape juice to give the girl a glass. Helping the older woman, Nadia lifted herself off the chair and gave Lewis a look, non verbally asking if it was true and his eyebrows furrowed whilst pursing his lip upwards, making Nadia smile a little.

"Really? In what aspects?" She sat back down, lifting the glass to her gloss covered lips and only taking little sips. "Oh just how you'd maybe have to close off social media for a while and suddenly having people around you to help with everything." Linda said, taking her glass of water and eyeing Nadia's mom after her sentence. Tilting her head in confusion, she made sure to sit comfortably as this was definitely an interesting conversation.

"I never really thought about it like that actually. The way teams assemble within a matter of hours is something else but I always hear my students say that they're one hundred percent ready for fame." Nadia watched the two older women constantly look at each other with the older men being suspiciously quiet. "Oh and don't even get me started on the scandals you're put through." Nicola submerged from the house, holding a fresh pizza on a wooden board with an extra plate.

"Lewis, you'd know a thing or two about these things right?" Nicola smirked as she placed the plate on the opposite side of the table. Snapping her head towards Lewis, he sighed then nodded before straightening up his posture as it was before. Now Nadia was incredibly confused. Although she spent at least two hours in conversation with Lewis, she never really found out what exactly he does for a living even though he knew what she did as she went on a whole rant about her day with the teenagers. The way he had carried himself whilst speaking with everyone and just how he listened made it seem like he could be a businessman of some sort that clearly made his money and he made it well as he wore jewellery pieces that she could only dream of seeing.

A beat of silence passed and a knock on the door was heard. "Oh, that must be Gerald." Anthony got up in quite a hurry, with the table falling into conversation to detour the previous topic. After the man was welcomed onto the patio, he placed his small briefcase next to him on the chair with Nadia's suspicions growing more and more.

But what if he was really just there for lunch?

The word 'deactivate' kept being thrown around between Nicola, Thembi and Linda for several minutes, snapping Nadia and Lewis out of their conversation on her tattoos. "Nads, come here really quickly and bring your phone." Her mom ordered as the young girl walked to their side of the table. Standing over all three women, she held her phone in front of her mom's face. "How do you deactivate your Instagram? Nicola here made one for me but i don't want it anymore." Thembi asked, once again eyeing Linda.

Showing the directions on her own phone, Nadia then became distracted by her stepdad's question. "Nads, do you know when Rea's flight lands? Will you be okay to go?" He asked, slightly jumping at something. "Yes, I'll be fine. Her flight lands at like two in the morning so after here I'll just finish up some work then go to the airport early." Nadia responded, feeling her hand move a little as she spoke to James.

Thembi tapped her daughter's hand as Nadia focused back on her phone. Seeing her instagram page now logged out, she groaned at the thought of her completely forgetting her password to it. Plopping back into her seat defeated, Lewis eyed her then her phone that she placed on the table. "You good?" He asked, turning his body to look at her. "I think I accidentally logged myself out of insta and i forgot where i wrote down the password." Nadia frowned a little as she clasped her hands together. Even though he didn't want to seem like he was smiling at her misery but the little pout she had on her face was adorable and obviously he wasn't going to admit that anytime soon.

"Okay, I cannot do this anymore." Anthony announced out as he sighed which caught everyone's attention. "Dad, what's going on?" Lewis asked worried, he had noticed his father was quiet most of the time but he brushed it off knowing that his father was usually like this.

"Son, listen. I know what I'm about to say will sound insane but I need you to listen very carefully. Along with you too, Nadia." Anthony stated. Linda then stood next to her husband in terror. "Wait, Anthony. Are you sure you want to do this right now?" She muttered.

And now the uneasy feeling came right back.

"Lewis, you know I care for you deeply however these past few weeks have been tough for you... and pr." His dad started off, earning a sigh from Lewis and a pinch on the bridge of his nose. Seeing Lewis stress like this was weird for Nadia and what exactly did his father mean by PR? Anyone could tell that he wanted to say something but chose to keep quiet.

Now sitting up properly, Nadia was intrigued with the entire situation and wondered how famous Lewis actually was.

"Linda and I, along with Nadia's parents and Nicola have decided that we wanted to help you to clean up your image a little more even though you are a private person. And for that, we've come up with the concept of a fake marriage between you and Nadia." Anthony concluded and took his seat.

It was as if the blood from Nadia completely left her face after that very last sentence however her face stayed extremely neutral. Her face rather snapped towards her parents who were avoiding eye contact with her.

The silence was so loud, the birds chirping ever so slightly as if they were part of the plan as well. Looking at everyone's face, anyone could tell that this had probably been discussed many times before. "What?" Nadia being the first one to say something, spoke in a monotone voice.

"Look we wanted to see how you two would get along when you first met and it had seemed to work very well. We're only really looking out for you, Lewis. These rumours have kinda taken a toll on you." Nicola voiced, seeing that their faces were stoic yet burning daggers into everyone's skulls.

Finally looking at each other, Lewis and Nadia's eyes met with no source of attraction to each other in that present moment. "This is crazy." Lewis muttered to himself as he shook his head whilst looking down at his shoes.

"Okay." Nadia said, crossing her arms and looked at her mom directly. "Okay?" Lewis grumbled with slightly narrowed eyes to the girl. "Yeah. Clearly this is important and stuff so I'll do it." Nadia responded with a calm facade but she was truly screaming on the inside, her leg shaking underneath the table. Shocked as he was at her nonchalant response to the situation, he slumped back and chose to not speak up in front of guests. Lewis wasn't frustrated in the slightest but he was just extremely confused.

"What about the details?" Lewis sighed, feeling through his beard and accepting his fate.

"Wait, you're actually doing this?" Thembi expressed. If anything, Thembi felt embarrassed to even coming up with this suggestion thinking that it was going to help the driver and his many social problems. "Ma, please tell us the details before we rethink doing this for you guys." Nadia deadpanned, grabbing a grape from one of the charcuterie boards displayed.

"Well. You would have to tell the world that you've been married for at least a year or two and I've already told your PR team, Lewis, to get everything ready before you announce. For now, you're only allowed to tell your closest friends and coworkers about this so that it doesn't seem suspicious that your friends didn't know of your marriage." Nicola started.

"Nadia, because you're now affiliated with Lewis, security and a team will have to assembled to be at your beck and call. Marie from Lewis' team will come over to help you choose potential candidates for your everyday team. Now the difficult part. You two have to be married legally because you know how people get, Lewis. They'll want evidence. And that's Gerald is here for." She concluded, gesturing to the guest to open his briefcase but god, did he feel awkward.

"Uh, hello. Here's the marriage certificate you two are meant to sign for the court to recognise it as an actual marriage." The poor man was red in the face as he shakily placed the certificate between Nadia and Lewis with a pen. With her freshly manicured hand, the girl picked the pen and signed underneath her name officially as a Mrs. She took a quick glance at Lewis' name and it seemed so familiar but the thing that intrigued her the most was the 'Sir' before anything.

Lewis had a good look at Nadia's side profile as he watched her sign the official papers. She didn't seem bothered with anything that was said, it was as if everything just defeated her and she just accepted it. If there's one thing he noticed was that it looked like she didn't have a clue about who he was at all and that was so fascinating to him.

She handed the pen to him, their hands touching a little with the warmest touch as they made eye contact. They both couldn't read each other's eyes, only dark brown pupils staring into each other's souls. Lewis then also signed with a bit of hesitation, the reality falling on him as he dragged the pen to the very last of his signature.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Hamilton." Gerald broke the silence as he uttered his words. He quickly packed his briefcase and walked away from the table with a small wave to everyone to escape from the awkwardness of the lunch table.

"You only have to do this for a year or so then you can either divorce publicly or privately. And the living situation has to be changed. Nadia, you will have to be almost everywhere with Lewis now that you've signed that certificate so I am not sure how you will handle this at your workplace. Do you have an active passport?" Anthony ended with his question to which the quiet girl just nodded.

"Wait, where am I going to live?" Nadia asked, eventually snapping out of the quiet demeanour she had. "Well you'll have to speak to your husband about that." Linda smiled at the two, the smile slowly falling when seeing their deadpanned faces.

Sighing out for the final time, Lewis sighed and lightly tapped Nadia on the arm signaling for her attention. He held his car keys in his hand and she knew that she had to go because being there any longer would've suffocated her. The newly married couple simultaneously stood up and gathered their belongings, making everyone's faces grow into confusion.

"Where are you guys going?" Thembi asked, standing up as well with a worried expression. All Lewis did was shrug as he fixed his shirt and move out of the way so that Nadia could walk before him. "Bye everyone! Your charcuterie boards looked amazing by the way, Linda." It was as if someone completely different had greeted the group goodbye because her mood changed in a matter of seconds as if nothing happened.

"What the hell did we just do?" Nicola asked, rubbing her forehead as she watched the two walk away and out of the house.

"You've arrived at your destination." The automated voice rang through the large car as it approached a large black gate behind an elegant building.

The drive to the unknown destination was not as quiet as they thought it would be. When entering the car, all Nadia could do was to laugh as soon as Lewis entered the car so much so that a few tears of laughter came out. It was a sound that he appreciated to hear and he joined her in her laughter. They couldn't believe that they even went through that, mainly laughing at the fact they went into the house for lunch and left as a married couple.

It was quite the lengthy drive but it seemed much quicker as they spent the time speaking about what happened at lunch yet they never got to the topic of his job and also because they decided to play music to get rid of the negative mood they both had.

“I thought you were going to kidnap for a second. I still do.” Nadia joked as he playfully rolled his eyes at her. “Where are we even?” She looked out of the window to see the back of the large building, eventually spotting a small yet visible sign on the wall reading ‘Harrods VIP parking’.

Letting the smallest gasp escape her mouth, she gazed at Lewis once again who was typing on his phone and wondered what he did for a living for him to be able to decide to park his car here. The rumours from this department store were unbelievable so to see them bloom in real life felt surreal to Nadia.

Lewis definitely saw Nadia to be a good friend to him and could keep her around his circle and vice versa. It was a sign that a friendship was brewing between each other and they’re somewhat grateful for that although it happened so quickly.

“Seriously bruv, where are you taking me? I have to get home to watch catfish.” She asked, flicking her hair back and he laughed once more. “Bruv?” He said in between his giggles. “Okay my pookie wookie buddy bear, where are you taking me?” She said, fluttering her eyelashes at him which made him burst into so much more laughter.

“Since you want to know so badly, we’re going to Cartier to get our wedding rings.” He smiled a toothy grin, turning off the ignition of the car while looking at her stunned expression.

“…what?”

taglist: @non-stop-imagines @folkloresthings @tispys-blog @userlando @lorarri @thisismeracing @thatsdemko @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @goldsainz

dividers by: @cafekitsune

faceclaim for nadia: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

all pictures from pinterest and ig!

#☆ ‧₊˚ saint’s media pen #lewis hamilton #formula one x black reader #x black fem reader #f1 x reader #x black reader #formula one x reader #f1 x you #lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x oc #f1 x black!reader #x black oc #lewis hamilton imagine

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cheeseceli · 6 days

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I'll be waiting

Pairing: idol Bang Chan × Gn!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, friends to potential lovers, fic (1.6k words)

Prompt: "Even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody I promise I'll be around. Tell me when you're ready. I'm waiting"

Warnings: for a short moment there's a bit of unrequited love, happy ending tho. Mentions of insecurity back to the trainee days.

A/n: the longest fic I've ever done, I'm kinda proud of it ngl

Patience might be Chan's biggest virtue, he thinks to himself. By seeing where he's right now and where he was ten years ago, he smiles. He couldn't agree more with that statement.

2014

He still remembers the first time he saw you.

Monthly evaluation. At this point, Chan should already be used to this whole process of the trainee life. However, that day felt particularly depressing to him. Hopeless, he would say.

He had found out that JYP was about to debut a new group. A girl group. And as much as Bang Chan tried to be completely happy for his friends who could finally try and debut, he had to admit he was somewhat jealous. Four years of training and he felt like he was heading towards nowhere.

Still, he tried to practice. He sang the song he would showcase so many times he reached the point of not even feeling the words leaving his mouth. He was so lost he also didn't notice the presence of someone else in the practice room. That is, until you clapped.

Chan turned his head towards you, low-key surprised. He recognised you as the child of one of the Got7's staff. He couldn't remember your name though. He doubted he even heard it at all.

"Sorry" you finally spoke. Your voice was pretty "I'm looking for my dad. Your voice is very beautiful though. You're doing well." And with a thumbs up you went away.

Chan couldn't help but laugh. Now that was random. He could barely process what happened. But you complimented him. It had been a while since he last heard a genuine compliment.

Somewhere inside his mind, he repeated his words nonstop, filling him with motivation and hope. He also was trying to remember to ask your name later.

2016

He did remember to ask your name after all. Y/n L/n. The pronunciation of your name was beautiful, almost like a melody. Honestly, after two years of knowing you, he could affirm that your existence itself was like a sweet melody.

You both became friends, good ones at that. He also found himself developing feelings for you. That was the saddest part of it all in his opinion.

Even though he hadn't known you for so long, he couldn't see life without you. To live without your horrible jokes (that he always found funny), without your sunshine-like personality (even though most people wouldn't describe you like that. Maybe you were his personal dose of light) felt like a nightmare.

However, it felt a bit cruel that he needed to live like that. He wanted to be an idol. You were the one who was his biggest incentive. Then why, to have a romance with you, could bring problems to his career? It was almost as if destiny liked to make chan suffer.

Pick one.

Happily, Chan was patient. So patient that he decided to wait for you as long as needed. He had hopes that any time now, you would come to him. And he would be ready.

Meanwhile, he focused on becoming an idol. He couldn't give up now, especially given the fact that he knew you'd be in the front row, cheering for him louder than everyone else.

2018

He kept his promise: he followed his dream, finally achieving the so exciting debut, and still waited for you, his crush developing into the most sincere love he ever felt.

However, you had other plans. Of course, you were still there for him. You were probably the one who got the happiest with the results of the survival show. You spent countless nights with him on the practice room and in the studio. You were seeing his dream come true in first hand.

But this time, there was someone else besides you: your current boyfriend. Chan really doesn't know why he didn't think this could've happened. Of course, you were dating. You were smart, beautiful and had so much love to give. Someone else would've fallen for you at some point. And it was unfair of him to expect you to be single, waiting for an empty promise.

The saddest part of it was that your boyfriend was a nice guy. It was clear he loved you. He even made an effort to love everyone who you loved, including Chan himself. You were happy around him.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Chan got the job, you got someone to love - someone who could adore you without being scared of the media - and you both still got each other in the end.

Maybe that was what Chan could have. It's okay, right?

2020

The downfall of Chan's patience at last.

Although you both were still as close as you always were, life was leading each of you in your own direction.

You had a job, he had a job. You had your friends, he had his members. You had your own house, he had the dorms. You had your boyfriend, he didn't have a partner. But it was okay because he didn't even have the time after all.

Still, he tried to fall for someone else during this period. Being in this industry for two years now, he had the opportunity to meet a lot of people. Some fancied him, some tried to take a step further in a somewhat relationship. Some even wanted to just have fun. Chan swears he tried to give in most of the time.

Needless to say he failed at every try. He couldn't come close to someone without wishing it was you instead. His short answers were compared to how sweetly he talked to you. He didn't even bother to call people or have long conversations. He knew it was only a matter of time until his mind started the undesired comparison.

Maybe it was what the job required. Maybe it was because of his lack of time. Han disagrees though. Chan remembers how his friend insisted on the fact that his leader wouldn't even try with other people. But it wasn't his fault either, as it was a subconscious thing. Chan's mind was still wrapped around you. And his heart wanted to disagree, but it all goes down the moment he finds out you and your boyfriend, now your ex, had broken up.

Although he tried hard to deny, he couldn't help but still wait for you. No matter if there was a light at the end of the tunnel or if it was only darkness. He would wait.

2022

Something in your brain has switched, and Bang Chan can't say he really liked the difference.

Of course, you were still the greatest person he ever met. You were still his sunshine. But it seemed like you were tired. Your conception of life and love wasn't as bright as it once was and Chan couldn't help but feel worried about it.

For him, who has loved you deeply for over eight years now, to see you giving yourself less credit and affection hurt him. He doesn't know why and when it happened, but your brain was trying to shut down all genuine feelings one could offer to you. You thought you were, maybe, undeserving of it all.

Honestly, to see you slowly losing your light has wounded Chan way more than all his past experiences: from his fear of failure to his disappointment upon meeting your ex boyfriend. Almost as an instinct,he tried to solve the situation. This time, patience wouldn't do.

Without even noticing, he started to love you more. To actually show you how he cared for you, to put his feelings into words and actions. At first, your heart tried to deny any possible affection, but it soon realised it wasn't possible. Not when Chan didn't even hesitate on showing the entire world how you were worthy of love. And not once he showed it as a challenge or a burden. He was by your side, and he never made it seem hard.

The best part of it all was that none of you noticed it. He started to open up to you to try and protect you,and you opened up to him in order to heal and protect his feelings. Maybe that was patience finally showing itself as a virtue.

2024

Ten years later, it finally happened.

Honestly, Chan was still a bit suspicious. There was no way he was actually seeing this, right? Maybe he was becoming delusional after all. Maybe he started to hallucinate because of his desires. But at the same time, it felt too real.

The way you looked at him, that is. It was just a normal conversation between old friends. Between gossips and laughs, there was absolutely no reason for you to look at him like this. So lost in thought, with this shimmer in your eyes that Chan knew way too well. He knew it because he had it too.

It was love. Not the one nurtured by friends or family. The one shared just between lovers. And he was so sure of it because he knew he looked at you in the exact same way you were looking at him right now.

He smiles. For a moment, you're a bit lost, wondering if you lost a joke or an important moment. That, however, makes him laugh. He couldn't believe he just saw you fall in love on the first row.

Ah, he's been patient. Now, he can't wait for you to realise what just happened. Either way, he knows with a smile on his face that he'll be waiting for you.

I promise I'll be around.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: summer with you

Thank you for reading <3 let me know what you think about it!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143

Dividers by @dollywons

Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3

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maybankprincess · 1 year

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ೃ⁀➷ leaving cute notes - jj maybank ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

pairing: jj maybank x reader

warnings: not proofread, that's about it, please do inform if there's more :)

a/n: hope you enjoy it!

you were heading to your locker with your friends Sarah and Kiara. you had to take books out for your next few lessons and had to put the ones in your hands in your locker.

you were talking about random things as you all went to open your lockers which were all around the same area.

once you were at your locker, you put in your combination and opened it as a small paper fell out of it.

you didn't think much of it as you thought it was one of your many flashcards stacked in your metal compartment and proceeded to put your books in and take out the ones you needed.

it was only when you reached down to retrieve the paper that you realised it was a note that was left in your locker.

the paper read: "I've always had a crush on you but I never had the courage to confess"

you frown as you didn't recognise the handwriting but also at the words.

"um.. girls?" you let out and turn to look at Sarah and Kiara

you wordlessly show them the note. they both read it, Kiara recognising the messy handwriting as belonging to her blond pogue friend but choose not to say anything for now.

"well, seems like our besties has a secret admirer" Sarah says and laughs happily "who do you think it is? any boys showed you extra attention recently?" she continues as you try to think of who it could be.

"no clue, everyone's been normal" you say and shrug "besides, could be rafe and his friends trying to prank me or something" you say and stuff the note in your jean pocket before grabbing your things.

"but it could also be genuine" Kiara says trying not to sound obvious.

you just shrugged and moved on with your day.

---

you didn't receive any new messages in the last few days so you just figured it was some dumb joke and moved on.

that was until you opened in your locker one morning and a familiar piece of paper fell out.

this time you immediately picked it up and read it.

"no, this is not a joke, I truly have had a crush on you since elementary school"

after this message, notes started to regularly end up in your locker.

soon enough, every morning, you were greeted by the falling piece of paper.

messages like: "hope you had a wonderful weekend" and "have a nice day, gorgeous" soon started to give you the boost you needed to start your day.

you desperately wanted to know who your secret admirer was. so, you, kiara and Sarah set up a plan that you would get to school extra early one day and hide around the corner of the lockers in the hopes of finding out who it was.

so that's how you found yourselves at school at 7AM huddled up while hiding around the corner of your locker.

the silence of the hallways making it become very boring very quickly as you tried not to doze of with how early it was.

you had closed your eyes for a few seconds trying to keep your mind busy to stay awake and alert as you heard footsteps heading towards you.

you three remained silent as you peaked around the corner to see who it could be.

you saw a hooded individual heading towards your locker and place a piece of paper in it.

while the individual was heading towards the exit, a breeze caused his hair to blow in the wind, exposing his dirty blond locks.

you guys sneak behind the person and pull his hoodie off.

the person looks back revealing that the mystery person was your friend, JJ Maybank. you guys shared a few classes together, you guys even worked on a presentation together. frankly, you had a pretty big crush on the blond man but you never thought he would've reciprocated the feeling.

he looks at you shocked that someone else was present so early and even more shocked when he sees that he's you.

"it's you?" you ask confused

jj stands there while rubbing the back of his neck.

"um..yeah.." he answers while looking down "I didn't mean for you to find out like that" he continues

"I mean I'm kinda glad I did" you say as he looks up at you

"gosh, please don't think of me as a creep now" he pleads

"of course I wouldn't jayj!" you say and smile "well I'm actually happy I found out"

he looks at you confused and asks "why is that?"

"because I can now do this" you say and lean up to connect your lips with his

at first, jj is shocked and doesn't kiss back but when he finally comes to his sense, he does.

a voice behind you says "about damn time you guys confessed your feeling to each other" which makes you pull away from jj and let out a laugh.

you turn and realise that Kiara said it.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Sarah says and comes over to hug you tightly.

for the rest of the day, jj hadn't stopped engaging in pda with you in the hallways, during your mutual classes and even during lunch times.

the boy was truly too excited that his crush liked him back to resist holding back his affection in public.

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what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew · 5 months

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A Critique of Riordan's: Neurodivergency

tldr: Rick made ADHD and dyslexia superpowers in the books which fit the time he wrote the books, but it's not accepted now cause it diminishes neurodivergent struggle. At the same time he made autism coded characters the 'annoying' ones and had a very racist thing of having the only neurotypical be Frank.

He tried to fix it in the show. It worked for about 3 seconds.

TW: Ableism, Autism speaks mention, r slur, anti-schizo stuff.

This paragraph is useless so don't read if you don't want to: Sitting in my drafts are 3 different 'A critique of Riordan's' posts i made as i tried to redo my full critique of the Riordanverse with a little more positive feedback and a little less Rick Riordan is the devil spawn. I have decided to not do it in order because because i watched the show and i noticed some things which were iffy and others which were great. So yeah neurodivergency first. Enjoy and think Critically.

Books

Research and Diversity

The books were written in the early 2000s for Rick's son who has ADHD and dyslexia

As a result, it takes on a very "your ADHD and dyslexia is a superpower" message which were popular during the time, but we recognise now has delegitimised neurodivergent struggles

Also as a result, the books were very focused on his son's symptoms, and represented ADHD as a monolith which quickly turned into stereotypes (e.g jumpy, impatient and fast reflexes becoming the connecting feature of half-bloods)

It got so unresearched that at one point he said:

He also talks about coffee in a similar way, despite sugar and coffee not making us more hyperactive and instead making us sleepy. Unless all the scientists and people with ADHD are wrong i really don't know this works.

and also said this: "Leo was extremely ADHD even by demigod standards" Like what

But the worst part about the PJO books was that the neurodivergency was limited to the first book. Percy's ADHD and dyslexia magically vanish and honestly it's only really brought back up in HOO every now and then (not very well might i add)

Ways he could have improved:

He could have given other characters, like Annabeth, more diverse symptoms of ADHD. It wasn't that hard, For Annabeth recognise that she as a 'gifted kid' is more likely to have undiagnosed and so have to face the issues related to being undiagnosed and/or being both a gifted kid and having ADHD, and then also give her more symptoms common to girls like being really chatty or frequently daydreaming.

Continuing having ADHD (and dyslexia) as constant parts of the novels rather than throwaway lines. Build it into the characters actions and persona rather than add it on like an accessory

Research. Never stop researching. Always reach out to people with the disorders and ask them to help. Writing is nothing without research.

Get sensitivity readers

Grammar

This is really minor, but he keeps say ____ was ADHD, and like gramattically that's a no. I am not a disorder i am a person with a disorder . Note for autism, the prefered grammer is Autistic person (aka turn into adjective and describe, something we can't do with ADHD)

Nico and Leo

Making Leo and Nico the 2 characters who were annoying and unlikeable (to everyone else not to fans) was really weird cause these 2 characters were the autistic coded ones.

NOTE: I did see a post explaining it better in the past, and i will link it when/if i find it again.

Tyson and the R Slur

I genuinely think he tried to make the r-slur scene show that it was bad, but the way Percy reacted to it wasn't quite right. Especially for childrens books these things need to be really clear. So it was good to make a bad bully character who was hated say it, but he could have made it better by skipping Percy saying "He’s not r*tarded" and go straight to "I had to try really, really hard not to punch Sloan the face."

The scene was ok, it could have been better, but again these were written in the 2000s, we have to acknowledge that.

Percy and School

Now this is interesting because this is more recent. Percy tried really hard in school and was smart, it was part of his characterisation. But he never did well in school, because that's how his disability affected him (especially since it was the American school system which we all know is shit and even more shit for people with learning disabilities).

The problem stems from TSATS, where Percy is made out to skip school, and not try at all (feeds into people with ADHD do bad cause they don't try/are lazy)

credits to @aroaceleovaldez

Racism: Frank Zhang

Frank Zhang the only Asian member of the 7 has no form of neurodivergency, despite the rest of them all having. It must be a just coincidence that there's a stereotype that asians are really smart and good at maths and the fact that the rest of the Romans have dyscalculia/s.

It's not weird at all that the character instead has lactose intolerance, which is really common in East Asia unlike dyslexia, ADHD or dyscalculia, which has such a low rate of diagnosis because there is a large stigma behind the disorders and because white people don't think Asians can have learning disabilities/s. No not weird at all that the dude is described with symptoms of dyspraxia but Rick refuses to recognise he is not neurotypical/s

I'm stepping out of sarcasm speak to remind you that Asians with learning disabilities are significantly less likely to get diagnosed with anything because:

because their parents won't let them until they have no other choice (glares at my parents) because there's a massive stigma behind intellectual/learning/development disorders in these communities

When we do try to get diagnosed our claims are diminished because of racist stereotypes and the belief that booksmarts/giftedness = no learning disability. It means most psychologists and psychiatrists (who are usually white) think that all Asians are smart so they don't ever have any form of neurodivergency and we're left to struggle.

Schizo Rep

Octavian. Villain. Schizo. Again.

Do i even need to explain this?

Show

Not actually a specific disorder - Percy just has a learning disability

Interestly Percy's dyslexia is just never talked about, And even his ADHD is never mentioned by name. He's got a random learning disorder which isn't specified. At first i assumed it was still ADHD cause the books, but watching more, you realise they aren't actually focusing on what learning disorder he has and what he has to deal with as a result of that. It's just a generic learning disorder.

Which is weird because learning disorders are all different and we all face different things, even with the same disorder. So placing all learning disorders in the same group? not good. Don't know what i expected from disney, but it wasn't this.

Autism Speaks

So the show tried to acknowledge that Percy was constantly told he was special and heroic when he really wanted to have help for his issues and for people to recognise that he has problems and those are bad. It also represented less stereotypical adhd symptoms (though whether that's because the disorder is no longer adhd or whether they wanted more inattentive symptoms to be present, we'll never know)

but then it went ahead and used a broken puzzle metaphor for his neurodivergency?

Puzzle piece metaphors when talking about any form of neurodivergency are a no go because the creators of the metaphor literally want Autistic people dead.

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE AUTISM, WE ARE NOT ALLIES TO THE AUTISM COMMUNITY IF WE USE THE LANGUAGE AUTISM SPEAKS CREATED

Not only that but a broken puzzle is not a good way to represent us anyways because NEURODIVERGENTS AREN'T BROKEN.

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cyberfreaky · 1 year

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CELLOPHANE ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART I

༘⋆ PAIRING — olo’eyktan!jake x fem!reader

༘⋆ SUMMARY — in which your taboo infatuation with your olo’eyktan begins to cause problems.

༘⋆ WARNINGS — age gap (32 & 22), mentions of daddy issues, power imbalance, no comfort angst, infidelity, mild violence, alcohol usage, arguing, eventual smut.

༘⋆ NOTES — my first proper series PURRRR i hope y’all enjoy this. updates may be slow since i start back at school soon, but i’ll make time xx this parts kinda boring but i jus wanted to try show the dynamic reader & jake share ??$2&:@/$

MASTERLIST + CELLOPHANE MASTERLIST

the communal fire burnt brightly, everyone sat around while consuming their supper. you didn’t have much of an appetite, resorting to you sitting in your lonesome and quietly watching your clan with bored eyes. the sounds of chattering and laughter buzzed in your ears, everyone speaking happily amongst themselves about today’s successful mission. your mind was elsewhere — in your own little fantasy you’d created with a certain someone. to the average person, this would seem rather pathetic. but you were wilfully blind.

“not hungry?”

you were swiftly brought out of your thoughts, glancing over your shoulder and noticing your olo’eyktan taking a seat besides you. there was an instant burst of joy that coursed through you - a coy smile painting your face as you shook your head in response. “no, sir. my tummy feels funny.”

“y’know you don’t have to keep calling me sir, right?” jake chuckled at your timid response, giving your side a playful nudge. “just call me jake. sir makes me feel old.”

“sorry. jake.” you apologise quietly, anxiously scratching your forearm.

this nightly ritual of jake visiting you throughout supper had become one of your favourite moments of the day. you were so helplessly smitten with him - your closest friends would joke that it neared an obsession at this point. it was your deepest secret, what was once an innocent crush had blossomed into something forbidden. you were hopelessly in love with your olo'eyktan - and it pained you everyday knowing nothing could ever come of it.

you felt jake's hand rest on your knee, a playful expression on his face. "where do 'ya disappear to in that head of yours?" he smiled warmly, clearly taking notice of how your trance-like state. you brushed it off with a coy smile, shrugging timidly at the question. jake's hand placement was innocent, especially the gentle pats he gave assuringly. "you got a stomach bug or somethin'? could explain the loss of appetite."

"no, it's not that. i'm just a little sad." you admit honestly, a small sigh escaping your lips as you glanced down at the ground.

jake’s face fell at your words. he shifted a little closer, his hand still placed on your bent knee. “what’s wrong?” he asks with a concerned tone, you could hear how genuinely worried he was. jake cared about you - just as he cared for anyone in the clan. but you never saw the blurred line between the two.

you couldn’t admit what you were feeling. there was no chance in hell that you’d ever tell jake what was going through your head. how do you possibly tell your leader that you never stop thinking of him? that his friendly gestures and innocent touches felt like ecstasy to you? that you envied his mate with your entire being? these weren’t regular thoughts. these weren’t normal feelings. even in your own delusional little bubble — you could recognise that these emotions were taboo.

“you can talk to me, kid. y’know that.” jake assured once again, using that bastardly nickname you loathed. kid. was that all he saw you as? you were a grown woman, not some sad pouting child with a tummy ache.

you sighed deeply, trying to form some kind of lie in your head as you gazed at jake. “i’m, uh…i’m not feeling confident with my skills. that’s it. i don’t..um, i still can’t shoot properly.” you try to sound as genuine as possible - hoping that your sullen expression could convince him even further. it was a ridiculous lie, but nothing else came to mind. your aim was impeccable.

jake nodded slowly, his lips soon curling into a small smile. "how about this? tomorrow morning, i'll take ‘ya out for some practice."

you couldn't contain the grin that grew on your face. your little white lie had lead to something even better — alone time with jake. you nodded eagerly at his offer, trying your hardest to suppress the overwhelming excitement you were feeling. "really? you'd do that?"

“course i would, anything to help.” jake says with a warm smile, giving your knee one last squeeze before retracting his hand away. “i’ll swing by your hut after the morning hunt and we’ll go from there. sound good?”

“that sounds amazing. thank you, si-” you pause for a moment, correcting yourself quickly before calling him sir. “jake. thank you, jake.”

jake chuckled in response, giving you a friendly wink before climbing to his feet and bidding you farewell. your eyes followed him as he walked back to his mate, jealously watching him plant a kiss on her cheek. you shook your head, taking a deep breath before remembering that you had tomorrow to be excited for. ‘it’s fine, it’s all fine.’ you’d repeat in your head, appeasing the envious feelings that began to bubble up inside you.

the idea of spending hours alone with jake kept you calm and collected. a giddy smile formed on your lips as your thumb grazed the skin of your knee — already missing jake’s comforting touch against you.

that night in your hut was restless, you couldn’t contain the excitement of seeing jake in the morning. you held your pillow to your chest, sighing in pure ecstasy at the mere thought of spending hours on end with him. it was an incomparable feeling, another chapter to file in your delusional bliss.

“that’s it. arms straight, no slouchin’. you gotta keep your posture nice and tight.”

jake instructed you from the side, speaking with a stern yet calm tone. you already knew this, this information had been drilled in your head since your were a child. but were more than willing to act a little oblivious for the sake of some alone time with your olo’eyktan.

you followed his instructions, straightening your dominant arm as you firmly held the heavy bow in your hand. you gingerly glanced over your shoulder at jake, purposely hunching your back a little. your eyes quickly darted to the target painted on the distant tree — eagerly awaiting for jake’s reaction to your form.

“c’mon, you can’t shoot an arrow with sloppy posture.” jake says disapprovingly.

you felt him stand directly behind you, one callous hand pressing on your tummy while the other rested on your lower back. a gentle gasp escaped your lips, quiet enough for only you to hear. you held yourself back from keening into his touch, carefully keeping the inch long distance from his body.

“stand straight, hon. ‘ya can’t hunch when shooting, it’ll mess up your aim.” jake whispers solemnly, adjusting your posture with gentle movements. as he straightened your back, you felt him lean in closer to smooth his hands across your shoulders encouragingly. “now, when yr’ready, take your shot.”

you took a deep breath, ignoring the shiver than ran down your spine as you expertly released the string of the bow. bullseye. the arrow roughly pierced the red dot on the tree, perfectly centred and all. a wave of pride engulfed you as you lowered the bow, looking over your shoulder to gauge jake’s reaction.

his eyes were wide, proudly laughing as he suddenly engulfed you from behind. “holy shit!” jake cheered loudly, rocking your body back and forth as he celebrated your shot. you giggled quietly, allowing yourself to lean back against his embrace for a moment. you were caged in his muscular arms as jake continued to praise your aim, almost in disbelief at how incredible it was.

you were in a state of pure euphoria as jake gleefully clung onto you. while this wasn’t the first time he’d hugged you - this was certainly the most endearing. you nearly melted at his constant praises, immediately feeling a warmth fill your cheek as you flushed insanely. you could get used to this feeling.

he spun your around swiftly, gripping your shoulders tightly as he shook you playfully. “how the hell did ‘ya do that? you’re a natural!”

“it wasn’t that great.” you mutter nervously, glancing up at jake with a flustered expression.

“you kiddin’ me? that was incredible.” jake lauded, that signature smile of his making you grin in return. “god, yr’something else, eh?”

your face was flushed as you stare up at jake, unsure of how else to respond to his words. he seemed to take notice of the tinge of mauve on your cheeks, mistaking it for some sort of heat exhaustion. “you feeling hot?” jake pressed his palm against your forehead, the back of his hand soon checking the temperature of your cheek. “let’s go get you cooled off. you’re burning up, kid.”

these small revelations always pained you. no matter how much you proved yourself to jake, he’d always see you as a bashful, little girl. you couldn’t even enjoy the walk back to camp as he kept his arm snaked around your shoulder — you knew it was all for the sake of protecting you. caring for you. and not in the way you wanted him to.

there had to be some way to show jake you were more than some injured lamb. and even if it meant risking your relationship with him entirely — it would be a leap worth taking. you refused to live with the heavy burden of your feelings anymore.

TAGLIST (i’m tagging those who asked on the masterlist post! if you want to be added, lmk eee)

@wh0rezs @neteyamsb1tch @touchedflowers @rosesinthemoonlightxx @sadredflower0000

#jake sully #jake sully smut #jake sully x reader #jake sully x reader smut #jake sully x you #jake sully fanfic #jake sully fanfiction #jake sully headcanon #jake sully headcanons #dilf jake sully #avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar the way of water #atwow #avatar twow #avatar x you #avatar x reader #avatar smut #cellophane series <3

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onyourhyuck · 1 year

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You Rock My World. | L.DH

— Prologue: “I’m not interested in fresh meat.” + “I can rock your world.”

— Summary: You are invited to Johnny’s dj party and you weren’t expecting to get approached by the new freshmen Lee Haechan.

— Genre: SMUT SMUT SMUT MINORS DNI. Virgin!hyuck. First time sex. University setting. Sort of a frat house. Hyuck is too confident for his own good.

— Notes:

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Johnny hosts the wildest parties. Everyone knows that and anyone who went to his parties come out hammered to the point the next day they don’t remember or, they don’t come back knowing it was too much for them. You’re one of his close friends. You both are in the same class for years up until senior year.

You’re looking for some suit of entertainment for your liking and Johnny knows you want to get laid tonight. It was your goal.

“So let me guess,” Johnny laughs. “You’re looking to get laid by someone tonight.”

You have no shame admitting to this, the point of this senior dj party he is hosting was to find someone to take you to bed. And then you leave the place of the person and never come back. It’s simple. One night stand. The party was loud and the music was honestly so uplifting; Johnny really knows how to make some good dj songs. He’s been working on it as a side hobby for a while. And he decided to finally take on a dj party bringing it to the seniors and some other grades joining.

“It’s been a while since I did the deed. I’m starting to think about what I’m missing out on.” You’re right you need to let loose somehow. You don’t have time to date so nonetheless you are quite literally touch deprived. University has kept you unbendingly close to your studies and you hate to say it but you neglected a part of your self esteem. You just need someone to hold you tonight. That’s all you need right now. Johnny smirks, he knows sexual frustration when he sees one. “Hook yourself up I guess. I brought some friends with me so why don’t you meet them? Who knows they might be interested in you.”

Johnny has a lot of friends. He’s got many social groups he’s in and one of them was actually his main group consisting of friends you have met before on a part hang out. Yuta, Jaehyun, Mark, Taeyong, Doyoung and someone else was there you don’t quite recognise. He couldn’t be in your grade because four of them are in your class. Mark is in the grade below you. But you’ve never encountered this boy with them. He was laughing and playing around with the boys. He had luscious brown hair, and eyes that can kill you if they ever looked at your way. He was young, well he certainly looked young. He dressed comfortably and casually to the party which makes you think he’s down to earth.

He seems like he was a fun young guy, but you could sense a slight childishness from him. And you dislike the youthful energy he’s giving. You’re most certainly convinced he was a new, young freshmen in your university who’s just getting started and this must be his first ever party from university he’s gotten into.

“Johnny,” you call out making your friend stop on the tracks as you were driving through the crowd in the party. The hint of smell alcohol gave was invisible to your nostrils by the minute. “Who’s that guy with Jaehyun?” Your eyebrows raise up.

Johnny looks over to the group he was going to approach with you but since you stopped he made sure to take a pause taking a glance at where your attention is located at. The moment his eyes found who you meant he laughs openly. “Oh Haechan?”

‘So that’s what his name is.’

“Haechan’s the new freshmen we met yesterday. He’s pretty cool actually.” Johnny smirks. “The guy has a lot of potential to joining our frat club becoming a permanent member.”

You knew that if a freshmen had a high chance of becoming a permanent member they were absolutely bat-shit-insane. The frat parties are no joke. They could genuinely kill someone for how crazy and insane they can go.

“He doesn’t look like he’s made of much.” You retort back keeping your stern gaze on the boy in the far distance.

Johnny smirks. “I thought the same.” But it looks like his opinion has changed on that and you wonder how? How did someone like Haechan become instantly popular with the seniors at the frat house? You were intrigued no doubt about it.

But you were doubtful of him.

There’s no way a young guy like him who’s barely experienced the life you’ve seen throughout being in this forsaken university would last less than ten second in that frat house because you’d know; you hooked up with plenty of frat members in there. You’ve been in their rooms, their house. You even slept over once because Johnny let you. You been to Yuta’s bed. You’ve been to Jaehyun’s bed too. Johnny very much wasn’t someone you hooked up with but he certainly let you stay over in his room when you were hammered. He even took the damn couch just for you.

They were animals. Barbarians. Haechan doesn’t look the image. He looks more like an innocent looking guy who shines bright wherever he goes. You just can’t shake the idea of someone like Haechan doing crazy menacing things like they do.

But maybe you judged him too much and quick.

The next minute you were approached by someone you weren’t quite expecting. You’ve been having drinks with Yuta and Jaehyun who were equally glad to see you at the party. They weren’t sure if you were coming at all but it seems like you had second thoughts and joined after all. Even though you slept with both of them by hooking up separately they didn’t seem to mind that you slept with them. In fact they find it quite alluring.

The voice strikes you behind. It was a flirtatious tone something you can sense from miles away. “Hey there beautiful mind if I buy you a drink?” And you feel your eyes glued on the innocent face of his though his tone was quite the opposite it was very much challenging.

“No thanks.”

You squint your eyes before gazing away drinking your own drink that you bought for yourself. Haechan saw that you blatantly ignored him so he moves to the seat next to you leaning on the bar with his arms stretched flashing you a devilish smirking expression. You tried your best to ignore the younger boy. He thinks he has a chance with you? A senior? You have better things to be doing with someone who actually understands your needs.

He complains a little. “Oh come on don’t do the push and pull game and let me buy you a drink sweetheart.” He was so condescending when speaking to you and you chew on your tongue the minute you feel your tongue out to strike him with cruel force of your words.

You don’t want to pick a fight with a dumb freshmen who thinks he is all the game he has.

You smile in a fake manner turning to face him. Haechan was truly intrigued by your dark eyes hovering above and over his own. He loves when you were getting clearly annoyed by his persistence. Maybe he likes seeing you angry and try not to seem like you’re interested.

But he knows you were watching him for a reason in the first place and now you’re pretending you are now. You’re sly and Haechan knows your game because he’s done it before.

“Look here newbie.” You reprimand harshly meaning it with your chest when you say these lines. “I’m not interested in fresh meat.” Haechan laughs as if that’s the most bullshitting excuse he’s heard and he’s only been at the campus for a day or two.

You weren’t sure where he got the confidence from. He was a freshman who thinks he’s on top of the school list as if he owns everything you touch and knows in this freaking campus building. He spoke as if he was all that — as if he was everything you’ve ever wanted but you didn’t know that.

He chuckles watching you on the side handsomely laughing finding your words to be very humorous. “Oh wait you weren’t joking?” He giggles slightly as you weren’t laughing with him and you focus your glaring daggers in him.

Your silence was aloud answer for him.

“Darling how would you know that hm?” You raise your head up at Haechan wondering what he means by that? How would you know? Well because you aren’t interested.

“Because I know my needs.” You flatly said. “I know who I need to get my needs met. Some low freshmen like you couldn’t even get close to meeting them.”

The silence he gave you made army of goosebumps attack your arms and your legs. You wore your party dress which makes your skin exposed even though it was so warm unbelievably hot actually because of the amount of people at the party surroundings the area you feel so many shivers run your body when Haechan was silently watching you as if he took this as a challenge accepted.

You weren’t sure what this was but his eyes never looked away from you they were stuck on you entirely like he was ready to devour you; somehow you liked that. You liked that look he gave you and it made your heart hyperventilate out of nowhere.

“I can rock your world Y/n.” Haechan simply told you. Confidence oozing out though you were sure it could also be his narcissistic personality self. But you were convinced at this point.

Somehow. He was persuasive.

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You walk to the library to return a few things you’ve used to study for the material you needed. However you were approach by someone you didn’t want to find especially in a library setting.

You try your best to ignore it. You push the books back and tell the librarian you’re returning them. The boys - Yuta, Jaehyun and Haechan were together and you wouldn’t have imagined seeing the two people you’ve hooked up with and the guy who wants to hook up with you to be together and so close.

They seem like good friends from the corner of your eye you would be honest. It brings a low feeling in your stomach. It was almost kind of tense and awkward because now you are suspicious about them being together.

Haechan saw you enter the moment you came in the library his eyes couldn’t keep away from you. You felt his stares but didn’t say anything you were too busy returning the many materials you brought out of the place. The freshmen saw the two senior men smile watching him.

Jaehyun chuckles deeply as he knew exactly how Haechan feels right now. He probably feels so exhilarated and happy to see you. He was once in that position with you.

You’re the perfect woman anyone could ask for but the thing is you’re too stubborn and you don’t want a relationship. At least no one has made you think about one like that. Haechan on the other hand was interested in you. You were different.

Yuta saw Haechan’s fixated gaze on you and he smirks fondly. “Ah let me guess you want to get y/n in your bed?”

Haechan’s eyebrows squirm up. “How’d you know?” Yuta glances at Jaehyun and the two older boys give Haechan a look that says he should lose his hopes and dreams about bringing you to his bed.

“I can tell from the way you’re literally eye-fucking her dude.” Yuta replies. “You should move on bud. Y/n doesn’t do freshmen’s.”

“Why not? Is she freshmen ageist or something?” Haechan couldn’t understand what the big deal with you and freshmen hate is.

Jaehyun smirks. “She finds your kind to be quite… annoying. But I reckon you can make it work.” He grins adding. “If you try hard enough.” He was hyping up Haechan even though there was a low percentage of you ever giving Haechan a chance. He scowls at the thought of you rejecting him.

He will try hard enough.

You feel a tap on your shoulder. The same face you dread to come to you and bother you when you’re busy right now makes your body shut down. You hiss. “What do you want?” You look at him anticipating his excuse.

Haechan smirks facing you. You looked hot when you’re angry, did he tell you that before? You don’t need to hear it because his actions make it very obvious how much he loves to rile you up and have you become upset because he was becoming a pest to you.

“Whoa why are you so angry sweetheart?” Haechan said acting shocked and almost offended. You knew well he was acting. You scowl deciding not to respond to the boy.

Your book was pushed back on the shelf you reach for. Haechan by your side still as stuck to you as ever. It’s like he’s freaking taped onto you. It really irritates you now.

He saw your lack of response to him and instead of going away because he grew tired you weren’t giving him the reactions he was looking for, instead he stayed by your side enjoying watching you putting back the books you borrowed. You felt watched by the freshmen.

He whistles. “You know I heard that if women are angry at you they missed you. I’m guessing you’re angry at me because you missed my handsome face right?” You want to tell him he was delusional and that he might need to get a doctor.

“I’m guessing by your silence I’m right.” Haechan said soon after your pausing silence again.

You turn to him glaring finally a long sigh leaving your kissable red mouth. He can see the glossy tint on your lips and it made them more or so very hard to not leap and kiss them. Haechan wonders what flavour of chapstick you have on, somehow, he wants to know more and more he keeps staring at them.

“Haechan. Don’t you have things to do or somethin’? Why are you here bothering me.” You can’t shrug the feeling of Haechan in your presence it very much upsets him that he was around you and only you. He speaks and speaks whatever he wants too.

And you really thought being quiet and ignoring Haechan would make him leave, but instead he stayed more and spoke like nothing happened.

He smiles leaning in. “I told you why I’m here. I can rock your world Y/n.” He was still on about that night. You frown in disbelief. “You really want to fuck me huh?”

Haechan pleads to you as if he was waiting for the moment to be heard and touched upon. He pleads softly with whines coming closer to you with his face. You feel your heart race when he came slightly closer.

“More than anything.” He states firmly. The flirty smile comes back on his handsome face again. You sigh. “If I agree to fuck you will you leave me alone?”

Haechan smiles nodding even though he knows he won’t leave you alone because it would be impossible to leave someone like you alone — especially when he’s about to have a taste of you. It will be hard not to approach you again. “I promise.”

He was lying he knows himself that he cannot stay away from you.

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You remember the frat house like it’s your second house only thanks to three guys; Yuta and Jaehyun. You were sleeping with them few times beforehand in different timelines. Johnny is your close friend and he happens to be best friends with Yuta and Jaehyun.

But now you’re taken back by Haechan a freshmen. The newbie of the frat house being the newest addiction to the house you weren’t expecting him to be bringing you into the house and holding your hand he leads you to the bedroom.

You agreed to fuck once and he would leave you alone that was the deal — but why was he taking his sweet time with you? You were almost left with impatience burning in your body.

The minute the freshmen room welcomed you inside Haechan closed the door behind you letting your eyes explore the bedroom. It was full of posters about such bands and tv shows he enjoyed. He had a desk occupied by textbooks that you recognise from your own freshmen years but that was ages ago; you’re a senior now at the university so it definitely brought back some nostalgia for you. Your heart skipped a beat when Haechan’s body leans by the door keeping the body against it. He was watching you so keenly seeing you look around and snoop your gaze about the room.

He loved watching you become so nosey and intrigued now. For someone who was impatient to get this over and done with you’re sure now taking your quiet time to explore his own bedroom he took you back to. If he’s being honest he brought you back into his own little space where he can do whatever he wants with you now, and he thinks that’s a honour on your part.

You trail tensely around suddenly with your voice gaping output at the younger boy. “So what are you waiting for?” You try not to seem like you were anxiously waiting for him to do something.

Literally anything.

But he can see right through your gaze that you were anticipating a lot of things but boy is he taking his sweet time with you. He chuckles. “What’s wrong with me taking my time with you Y/n? You seem kinda desperate to get this over and done with,” he comes forward now trending you over to the bed and to sit you down on the edge as his face leans down to make your eyes go from eye level to eye level.

“Or do you want this to be over as soon as possible so I can leave you alone?” He smirks watching your expression widen a little. He knew that you really didn’t want this to be over so quickly because you were probably nervous right now.

He can see it on your face; you were anxious. It’s been a while since you actually slept with someone so now you’re feeling the same ole’ butterflies you’d get as if it was your first ever time fucking someone. On your end it’s not your first but it is a first time you’ve done it after a few years.

It might be over two years you haven’t had sex with anyone and this freshmen is going to be your first choice now. Only because he was going to keep bothering you if you didn’t say yes to him. But somehow you feel your gaze finding him surprisingly cuter than you could imagine.

When Haechan’s pupils fell down to your mouth he starts leaning in to give you a kiss but you flinch away suddenly which makes the boy stop on the tracks and look at you in your eyes again.

‘You stopped?’ He thought.

The moment was perfect to kiss you. You were even leaning into it for a little second or two so why have you pulled away so abruptly from him?

You feel his eyes on you looking questionably at you as if he had many questions to ask what made you become like that. You murmur a little feeling your heavy breath. You weren’t used to your heart beating this fast.

“Sorry…” You begin. “It’s been a while since I did something like this with anyone.” You let out honestly. He didn’t know you were nervous but now that you truthfully opened up Haechan wasn’t looking at you like he was annoyed; most guys would’ve been frustrated with your nervousness self. You could barely handle him being close

Instead Haechan looks at you with a soft smile as he now pulls away sitting next to you on the bed. He shows you that it’s okay to be nervous. You were so confused by his gentle behaviour suddenly. He wasn’t being a complete fool or a horny ball of aggression anymore.

“Y/n you don’t have to apologise if you aren’t ready.” Haechan softly tells you as his eyes never leave yours and you feel your cheeks growing warmer by his good skill or communication. Why was he so good to you?

Your eyebrows raise up. “You’re not annoyed? You looked like you really wanted this to… happen.” Haechan smirks. “Oh trust me I do want this to happen. But I want this to happen when you’re ready for it to happen.”

You feel slightly more relieved and comfortable now. The more you sit and speak to him the less nervous you became and soon you stop fidgeting in front of Haechan. He was making sure you’re not being rushed.

And you admit; his voice was helping your heart to slow down and become a normal pace once again.

“Why do you want to sleep with me so badly?” I chuckle asking suddenly. It never really clicked in my head why he was only bothering me to sleep with him. Haechan feels his eyes slightly widen by the question.

He then smiles a little. “It’s a little bit of an embarrassing story.”

Your eyes flicker to explore the blush on his cheeks and you finally come to an realisation that he was going red: Lee Haechan was blushing the more he thought about his whole reasoning.

You smile reassuring the boy. “It’s okay. I don’t judge.”

Haechan trails softly as he feels a little more comfortable to share why he actually really wants to sleep with you. It’s a little more than just having a huge ass crush on you; it’s a little more than that. He puts his hands behind the bed supporting his lean body on the bed as he looks over at you trying not to fumbling over his words.

He simply chuckles. “I’m a virgin, actually.” Your ears perk up hearing this. Haechan was a virgin all along? You furrow your eyebrows at him for a moment. You let out a soft sigh. “You’re a virgin?” You couldn’t believe it at first.

Haechan nods. “Yep. I’m a virgin. I really don’t know why I want to sleep with you but the moment I saw you at the party I was just… mesmerised I guess.” Haechan said honestly he really trusted you instantly and he liked how you weren’t even into him at first. Maybe you still aren’t into him.

But you definitely were making a conversation together so he must be doing something right with you right now. He likes that you’re having an actual conversation now. You weren’t annoyed by his presence.

You actually enjoyed speaking to him. It looked like it and you found yourself reassuring Haechan softly. “Well… I wasn’t expecting you to be a virgin.” You chuckle.

“I don’t think I’ve ever slept with a man who is a virgin.” You honestly said as you smile a little. “But I can understand why you’d want me to be your first.” Haechan probably felt comfortable with you enough to have you become his first and something about that made your heart skip a beat.

Haechan smirks a little. “Why weren’t you expecting me to not be a virgin huh? Did I really look like I know my way around sleeping with others?”

You roll your eyes. “No, but, you certainly are persistent.” You add. “And you know how to speak to people.”

“Well Y/n,” Haechan begins leaning slowly closer. “You can be my first time.” You’re somehow able to no longer function the same way. You weren’t supposed to be into freshmen but Haechan was somehow an expectation for you that you can feel yourself falling into the conversation more and more until your lips suddenly crash into Haechan cutting him off from his breath.

The boy was closing his eyes tightly gasping when your mouth crashed into his. You pull Haechan closer as he fell on the bed flat on the back as you were on top kissing him with so much force and no longer restrain. The fact that you were chosen to be his first made your heart skip many many beats you couldn’t count how many times Haechan’s presence makes you feel like you’re some giddy school girl.

He might not be your first time. You lost your virginity a long time ago. But he was your first time in forever since you decided to have sex again.

Haechan feels proudness overcoming him with how passionate you’re kissing him making every last oxygen in his lungs to diffuse away. When you feel his shallow breath you pull away and quickly gasp when his lips were struggling to hold back. You let out a sheepish playful grin as your fingers focus on the campus hoodie he wore. You lift it up revealing his stomach a little bit. You felt some part of yourself going feral just seeing the small bits of his tan stomach and skin coming into view.

You never felt this passionate and good to fuck someone but Haechan really made this special. You want to give him a good time. Your first time was horrendous; but the least you can do is make his first time a great experience.

The upper clothing came off first. Your face found themselves in the croak of his nape kissing and gently sucking on the skin which Haechan hasn’t experienced before and he swore he felt a little bit of his soul ascending into the sky. Your mouth felt warm and it burns his skin so much with how hot your saliva actually was and your soft grazing teeth on his skin marking the softness of his bronze glowing skin. He was soft. He felt soft to kiss, to hold and to mark. You feel your last bit of restrain in yourself to vanish.

The boy groans when your mouth found themselves running down your chest letting your tongue leave a wet trail and in contract his stomach hitches in. You run your fingertips on his navel smirking against the way he must feel very overwhelmed. You could only imagine how hard it was for him not to be there going absolutely insane and nuts.

The only thing you feel was a hard bulge hitting your lower body and you smirk coping at the fact how hard he was in his pants right now. Haechan feels slightly embarrassed by how hard he got. It’s not like he was completely inexperienced. He kissed plenty of girls. He even managed to finger a girl before at a party in college.

But he was never this quickly hard for anyone else only you. He bites his bottom lip looking up at you and you smirk back at him.

“You’re making me go crazy over here, you know that?” Haechan announces with his red cheeks. You found yourself loving the sight of him being so reddish and embarrassed when blushing.

You whisper to him. “Why don’t you do something about it then?”

The moment you said this it was like a way for Haechan to take it as consent to flip you around on the bed flatly and he hungrily kissed you back. He starts to strip you like there was nothing tomorrow. As if the world was not guaranteed to become a thing again. Your skin shivers when his hands explore you running down your back and to your waist squeezing it when his lips broke apart from yours he found themselves looking down at yo it exposed bra.

He skilfully somehow — managed to unclip the bra with such speed and precision. Haechan’s mouth attached to your breasts sucking on them leaving kissing. You gasp when his mouth was searching every inch of you.

“Oh my—“ You couldn’t even finish your sentence without feeling a rush between your lower clothing completely stripped off. He was eyeing your panties down for a moment before looking back at your eyes smirking evilly.

You feel your cheeks grow pink. You knew exactly how much of a hypocrite you are when you’re soaking wet for him and Haechan feels some sort of pride in him building; he made you wet. He made you leak if anything.

“You know what did you say to me when we first met?” He pretends to not know watching your fearful eyes linger on his face. “You’re not into fresh meat?” He taps his fingers on your panties and you flinch at the contact of his finger running down and up your clit. “I think you lied Y/n. You are dripping wet for me and only me right now.”

“And you know what I said to you afterwards?” Haechan sneakily adds as your panties slip down to your ankles. He kneels up on the bed with your panties between his fingers. He was twirling them round his single finger and you seen the dark gaze he gave you. “I said,” The panties were thrown on the floor as he smirks. “I can rock your world.”

Haechan is about to show you why he can rock your world. He might be a complete inexperienced virgin but he wouldn’t be leaving you disappointed. No. You’re not in control as you think you are and Haechan’s about to change your mind on freshmen. He’s about to show you how he will rock your world to the point you will only need him again and again until you are never satisfied by another man again. He grabs your ankles pulling them making you slide to his body. He unbuckles the lower clothing on his body which only took a second for him. Your eyes were amazed by how quick he can strip someone.

Your pussy became more wet when the sight of his bulge comes out sticking to the beautiful stomach belonging to Haechan. You were in awe by his size and overall how pretty his cock actually was. You lean your head down on the pillow and the tip stays by the front entrance of your wet pussy. You didn’t even need to be stretched because you feel yourself loosening up by his tip alone. Haechan let’s out a soft groan when the tip he pulls in your entrance, your wet hole sucked his tip in so well and pushed it out. He could lose his feral mind right there and then.

You can tell how overwhelmed he was by slowly putting in his packet. You feel your insides becoming ready for him and Haechan’s cock was slowly trying to enter you. When he did enter you he let out series of moans and groans already because of how much this experience was so new to him. You feel your body adjusting to the shape he gave inside you. Your walls were throbbing already. Haechan couldn’t get used to this new feeling but one thing he new for himself was that he was addicted.

This sentiment was something he never thought he could have. Haechan bites his bottom lip gripping he bedsheets. He found your hands on the side next to your head so he joined them together now holding hands with you tightly entwined. Your eyes widen when he looks at you with bright eyes.

You can see the light reflecting in them.

It’s as if he has starts in his eyes and you feel so magnificently drawn to him like you were a magnet and he was the magnetic field pulling you so much closer than before. You softly let out. “You can move now…” when your bodies were adjusted he lets out a soft groan when the freshmen hips start to move.

The slow rocking motioning with his body hitting against yours made Haechan feel so much more pleasure than he anticipated. He always imagined what it would feel like to have sex. But it was nothing what he imagined. It was so much better and maybe it was your body entirely working out. He grew an addiction to hearing you moan out senselessly.

Haechan’s cock inside your velvety walls took suit right inside. It’s like he was made to be inside them. The further he pushed the more you sucked him in. You occasionally clench which drives Haechan to go into an overload frenzy and makes him stutter out his groans. You weren’t sure what you loved more; to hear him completely lose his mind or to have him go absolutely berserk. You assumed you loved both. You liked to see Haechan’s eyes roll back the more he thrusts inside you.

The more he continues the more the pleasure gets even more significantly powerful. Haechan wasn’t expecting it to get any better than this. “Your pussy is fucking amazing…” He lets out in the cape of your neck and you murmur a soft groan against his ears. “Really? Do you like it so much?”

He whines when you purposely clench around his length deeply inside you to the point you feel his very thick tip pushing on your sensitive g spot. “I fucking love it.” He grunts pushing on your hands further on the bed sheets he lets you start to squirm on the bed letting it creak.

The thrusts became mandatorily apparent because he was going faster now. Way faster than before it’s like he was now chasing the addiction to have the feeling enhance every minute of the moment he has with you. The sight of you bumping up and down on his bed. The headboard was literally getting rammed on the wall you swore you heard someone on the next door hitting the wall to tell us to shut up but none of us were bothered to stop; we weren’t listening to anyone except ourselves moaning.

Haechan can feel the way your walls were pushing back against him and he loves the feeling of how squishy they feel. You feel his hands grabbing on your stomach and your waist he pushed you back against his body rocking forth with you.

He was indeed rocking your world. The next moment you feel a sudden wave of light hitting you and the only thing you saw was a bright light advancing you to your body orgasm. Haechan slows down as your orgasm seems to have hit him with an overload of pleasure. The way his eyes widen seeing your pussy juice leaking on the bed sheets, you saw something behind those innocent eyes of his burning embers.

“You fucking squirted Y/n.” He deeply feels touched to see such an orgasm happen to your body; all because of him and only him. You murmur feeling your mouth drop agape.

“That was fucking hot…” Haechan softly whispers.

You never squirted before and you feel your body become overtaken by the after effects of the giant orgasm. You softly whine out your deep moans and he saw your chest pant heavily. Haechan smirks coming in hungrily kissing you shortly pulling from your mouth. Hovering ghostly on the edge as he starts rocking against you again.

“Oh god you’re going deeper…stretching me out so much… hold on…” You weren’t sure what surprised you more. The ability of him to keep going without showing any sign of slowing down or the fact he found ways to go deeper to stretch your hole out some more.

You’ve never had a guy go in this deeply.

This time he didn’t dare stop he went deeper by folding your legs upwards and you feel the space between you and Haechan diminishing. Your space was gone and he managed to keep going deeper and deeper inside your overstimulating body.

By the time you know it Haechan was a complete different person when he was inside you managing to touch every space in your womb. At some point you swore you feel his length become a part of your guts that was how deep he went in you and the position cramping your bodies he didn’t dare stop and take a minute to slow down when he was enjoying the way your body was so beautiful providing him this heavenly sight of your face worn out. Your pink cheeks were an evidence of how hot your body was becoming due to the pleasure he was digging in you; And for a moment you feel like you weren’t fucking a virgin— Haechan knew how to make your body tick.

Haechan soon croaks out when the overwhelming number on his body takes a toll on him as he was thrusting you against the bed. Your arms reach for the headboard grabbing it. The entire time the bed was making so many creaky noises and the headboard was ratting on the top of the wall. He looks at you with panic in his eyes and he suddenly remarks in broken sentences. “Y-Y/n… I- oh… I-“

You weren’t sure what he was saying at first because of how much he couldn’t form a sentence when the pleasure overtook him finally but you felt it on his cock deeply inside you he was twitching; the tip was twitching deep in you and you could take a hint what was about to happen now.

“Oh god Y/n… hurry tell me where do I release?!” Haechan wasn’t sure where you wanted it. He couldn’t wait any longer than a minute he was so close he even forgot that the pleasure has taken him over completely.

You look at him slowly as the headboard held by your hands loosens on the top side. “I-inside…!” You managed to let out as a wave of pleasure hits you when Haechan on the command of your voice was releasing inside you. You let out a great sigh and Haechan was the one who let out a high pitch pause closing his eyes so deeply.

The both of you stayed in the moment frozen. Your bodies were overworked like a hard drive and somehow you found your muscles loosening meanwhile the warmth of the liquid in your body was overfilling you deeply.

Haechan was so dazed out. He felt dizzy at some point when he looked at you and he saw later how your expression looks at him worried. “Haechan are you alright?” You asked in a soft tone.

The boy looks back at you with a soft smile. You spoke and asked him if he was okay. He couldn’t help but laugh and hoarsely speaking to you. The way his voice was nearly gone from the way you had him moaning and groaning for the past hour and a half. Maybe even slightly more. “I’m okay…I feel… amazing.”

Your worrisome expression vanished and you lay back smiling. “Good… I’m glad.” You’re happy that he enjoyed his first time with you. It’s the least you can do for him.

He looks down at your lips eagerly leaning in to pull you into a loving kiss and you sat there with your eyes widen by surprise. He was kissing you with a lot more sweet emotion than he has before.

He whispers. “I can go for a round two right now.”

You couldn’t believe it but you feel his length hardening a little while he was still inside you refusing to move out. You feel your head lung on the pillow. You never thought that this virgin boy— well he wasn’t a virgin anymore, would have so much energy in bed.

He smirks seeing your expression to be quite shocked and honestly he doesn’t blame you; you look a little worn out but he cannot help it but want to make you feel good again and again. After all his goal was to make you feel like he was the one who managed to make you satisfied.

Haechan’s lips lean to your ear whispering close to your face with a devious smirk. “I did say I will rock your world. And I’m sticking by those words Y/n.”

He did rock your world now and he’s about to do it again.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu! Reblog this fic and follow me for more updates / fics it helps a girl out. <333

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sorrowfulrosebud · 5 months

Note

You want wolf/puppy Bakugou asks? You gottem! (Hopefully I do this right lol)

Wolf/puppy hybrid Bakugou who is aggressive towards anything and everyone. Will growl and show his teeth if someone even looks at him funny, even though they were just glancing around and just looked at him for a second. Will scare off or threaten other hybrids that try to be friendly, exempt maybe for his "friends".

Except for reader. That aggressive boy will act up and start fights while out and about but when he's home? He'll just wanna throw and rip his toys, and want cuddles.

You better have a hand on him at all times, whether petting or not, cause if you ain't he's stopping ya in whatever you're doing, good time or not, for some affection and attention.

Pls give it to him, he just wants to feel like someone cares about him after all he's been through (If ya don't then I will, just saying)

WAAAAA I LOVE THIS 😭💕💕🫶

He’s such a bratty, whiny little shit 💀💀.

All big teeth and growls, ears pinned and hackles raised until you squeak his favourite chicken and all of a sudden he’s like ‼️‼️ Chicken ‼️‼️ Where ‼️‼️

He’s such a grumpy bastard too. He’ll eye you sitting comfortably on the couch, casually reading or watching TV before he’s borderline running and TACKLING you for cuddles. He will pin you down, huffing into your neck. Katsuki will stare at you with carmine eyes before breathing on you, meat in his breath from the steak sandwich you made him.

You gag and choke, trying to push your fatass puppyboy off you as he cackles and puts his deadweight on you. He just sits there, staring at you as you try to get comfy. Will deadass pick up your hand and plonk it on his head and shake it grumpily.

“Ohhhh, you wanted pets brat? Hmmm, maybe you don’t deserve them,” you grin slyly. Katsuki growled.

“Bi..bitch,” he let out in broken puppy speech, threatening to graze your ticklish tummy with his claws. You have to bite back a chortle at his grumpy face, playing with his ears as he blinks slowly at you. You adore watching his face melt in pleasure, his thick and fluffy tail hitting the couch.

“Katsukiii, here boy!!” You call your puppyboy as you came home. Katsuki looked up, pretending to be nonchalant as his tail beat back and forth. He greeted you with a chuff, eyes locking on to the bag in your hand.

His teeth curled up, recognising the logo from the pet store you rescued him from. A low growl left him, his hackles raising.

“Hey, none of that. I got you a surprise!” You tell him happily, sitting on the couch.

Katsuki slunk closer to you, eyes not moving from the bag. You tut and roll your eyes. You did have to use the “I got you a surprise” gimmicks few times to give him his flea and worming tablets, so you could understand his feelings. You pat the couch next to you as he sits with hesitation.

“Okay, now close your eyes!” You coo, sighing when Katsuki growls.

“Look, I know the past few times have been crap because you refuse to take your pills, but this time is genuinely a nice surprise that I think you’ll like,” you promise him. Katsuki glares at you as his ruby eyes flutter close.

His pointy ears hears you dig in the bag, before grabbing his hands gently and placing the object in it. He opens his eyes, before they widened completely.

“Tada! I’ve seen how grumpy you’ve been since you broke your last rope, so I got you a new one!” You exclaim happily, taking in his slightly pleased look. You go to take the toy from him, delighted when you hear the playful growl.

“Let me at least take the tags off, sweetie, and then we can play,” you said, going to the kitchen. Although your pup struggled with his speech, his bouncy and increasingly riled up body language expressed his immense gratitude. You snip the last of the tags off, before handing one end to Katsuki.

He grabs it with his teeth, pulling it back with a playful snarl. His lips were curled with a slight smile, his eyes bright as he played. You pulled with all of your strength, desperately trying to keep up with your puppy’s own immense strength.

You are not allowed to be distracted with him AT ALL on walks. No phones at all, you have to be fully concentrated on him. He’s an aggressive species of dog, despite his love for squeaky chickens and dog treats.

He requires a muzzle when he’s out, to guarantee the safety of everyone there. He lowkey pouts when you have to put it on, making you kiss his crinkled brows as you click it behind his head. You have to keep a close, close, CLOSE eye on him. But a few years down the line, he does something that surprises you.

Imagine going on a walk with him, his leash curled tightly in your palm as you patrol the neighbourhood. You have to pull the leash every once in a while, and he does still bark at your neighbour’s hybrids, but he’s a good boy. A very sharp contrast to younger him, who would fight his way out of your grip.

You were on your phone, ordering him some more puppy toys when you stopped. You hadn’t even noticed you dropped his leash until Katsuki was stood right in front of you with the leash. Turns out whilst you had been paying, he had continued walking and didn’t know you had stopped holding him 🥺

He grunted through the muzzle, holding the leash and placing it into your hands.

“No stop. You hold.” He said firmly, turning as you stood in shock. A smile overtakes your features. 5 years ago and the little shit would have ran away, brawling and attacking the next person who saw him. You feed him a treat through the muzzle and pet him, cooing about how much of a good boy he is as his tail wagged like crazy.

He’s such a good boy 😭💕

#🥀 rambles #pretty flower bluewolfangel01 🌷#bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou #bakugou fluff #bakugou x reader fluff #hybrid bnha #hybrid bnha x reader #wolf bakugou and his pack #wolf hybrid bakugou #domestic bakugou #wolf bakugou x reader #wolf bakugou

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animeyanderelover · 10 days

Note

This is my second ask

What would Hyuuga Natsuhiko, Minamoto Teru, Wei Liu, Tatsuya Himuro, Reo Mibuchi, Yuuma Isogai, Nagisa Shiota, Tadaomi Karasuma, Shibusawa Tatsuhiko, and Tachihara Shunzen( the older brother) with a darling that is nice to everyone else but politely declines to interact with them. Ik there are a lot of characters but could you make it a bit suggestive at the end like when the reader is confronted it's past their breaking point so they aren't down for excuses, it's fine if not! Ty!!

I genuinely think that you are the first person who named me so many characters I have never written for before in one request. Not that you'll see me complaining though.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, stalking, clinginess, manipulation, threats, guilt-tripping,jealousy, violence,abduction, suggestive themes at the end of some of those

Tags: @shumidehiro @leveyani @izanami78

Avoidance

Liu Wei

🟣Surely there must be a massive misunderstanding somewhere, although Liu struggles to decipher what it is that has caused such a rift between the two of you before he even had the chance to get to know you better. It is most misunfortunate, especially since the tall boy is not oblivious to his rapidly expanding feelings for you. Perhaps he has done something to offend you, unintentionally that is due to his lack of knowledge about Japan, or maybe you are just freaked out because of his height. All those excuses are immediately accepted in his mind yet a glaringly obvious thing never once seems to cross his mind. That maybe, just maybe, it is his highly unsettling behavior that has left a lingering bad impression and his refusal to back down only proves that point further. There is no escape from those dark eyes that always spot you no matter what you do or where you try to hide, his height only giving him a bigger advantage to easily find you. There is no escape from him either as you constantly find him trailing after you with that apathetic look on his face and it is quite frightening that he isn't even attempting to defend his actions, his gaze locked on your when you glance at him in disbelief and fear.

🟣His feelings are no secret to Liu but whether he recognises them to be anything potentially obsessive is an entire new chapter after all. In that matter the exchange student finds himself in a rather delusional mindset after all. All is still new for him in this country after all and his feelings fall into the same category, as something new he has to learn and to discover. Gullible as always, he follows the few advices he has gotten from his teammates and parents in multiple attempts to get closer to you and to get to know you better. He follows you around, his eyes constantly try to meet yours and he approaches you whenever he can yet his naivete is abused over and over again as you always decline everything politely and come up with a reasonable excuse on the spot, one he accepts. For a while this seems to work but it doesn't take long for the bitterness to fester inside of him. Dark eyes condemn the people you keep around you as the green-eyed monster known as jealousy awakens inside of him. He doesn't understand what it is they do right that he doesn't and never one to hold back, he finds himself approaching those people boldly and bluntly asking them what it is that they do that he doesn't.

🟣He scares your friends and you know about that yet he clearly doesn't feel a thing. He just wishes you would notice his dedication and earnestness as he tries everything he is told to break the wall between the two of you yet you only pull further and further away from you. The festering feeling only continues growing as he notices how you avoid him, a mixture of continuous heartbreak and flaring frustration spurring his darker instincts on. It may not show on his face as he wears a very neutral expression most of the time but he vents the bitterness out on people around him and your close friends and acquaintances are often on the receiving end of that developing temper of his. It is highly unpleasant as they find themselves as constant victims of his cold glares and harsh words as he expresses his dissatisfaction with the situation at hand. He hates this all, if he has to be very blunt. All he wants is to get to know you better yet you brush him aside every single time and he doesn't even know what it is he has done wrong in the first place. You have to tell him. How is he supposed to know what he is doing wrong? He is in a country that isn't his home and those feelings are new for him too.

🟣You feel rather anxious when you leave school only to find Liu following you one day, not even bothering to hide it. No matter how much you increase your pace, his large steps easily catch up and from the corner of your eyes you can see how he gets closer and closer to you. A huge hand grabs your shoulders and forces you to stop as his deadpan voice asks you if you could give him a moment. There is a growing unease on your mind, your eyes darting around as you try to come up with an excuse yet he cuts you off bluntly, his gaze heavy on your form as he tells you that he will only need a few minutes. Your heart can only pound against your chest as you inspect him warily. There is nothing that could have prepared you for the unexpected horror seeping through you when his lips suddenly smash against yours, his other hand seizing your nape to push your mouth against his own. Dreadful seconds pass before he finally releases you and admits his feelings to you, seemingly unfazed by the forceful kiss he just submitted you to. His eyes are filled with dark determination as he informs you that he intends to be much more direct with his feelings for you from now on.

Himuro Tatsuya

◾️Himuro has had his eyes on you for a while now, long enough to recognise that there is definitely a real interest he has in you. The handsome boy is quite observant of his own feelings though so he will have it figured out soon that an interest is quite understating what is going on in his heart right now. Tatsuya hides his obsession smoothly though as no one would suspect anything. His self-control doesn't mean that he plans to give you up though as he plans to court you and win you over for himself, whether it is because or in spite of his obsession is a blurry line though. The attitude he is met with when he approaches you is rather disheartening though. Tatsuya has observed you for a longer while now and he has observed you long enough to notice the inconsistency in your behavior around him in comparison to other people. You have always been a very kind and open-hearted person but it is glaringly obvious that you choose to avoid him as you always have a polite excuse in store when he is the one who asks for your time. There is a distance you wish to uphold between him and you and whilst it hurts Himuro, he initially tries to see what it is that may have triggered this.

◾️Maybe it is his popularity that has led you to see the need to not interact with him as you may think of him as insincere and a playboy or simply fear potential jealousy that his fangirls may direct at you. If that should be true, he is more than determined to prove you wrong. Aware that he shouldn't be too pushy in order to not come over as desperate nor annoying though, he goes for a more subtle approach. You are always among the first people he greets when he sees you and there are always things like your favorite snacks or drinks he brings with him occasionally to give them to you, especially if it's a rather hot day will he act like your personal vending machine. As a member of the Student Council he always keeps you informed about current updates and often likes to ask for your opinion on subjects, even taking them into consideration. There is a cunning air to it all though as you find yourself being more involved with him, especially when he starts socialising more with classmates and friends of yours. Himuro knows what he is doing though as he spies on you by befriending your own friends, treating them secretly more as a mean to achieve his goal quicker.

◾️There is a sleeping monster made out of envy and insecurity hiding behind his poker face though, one that grows quite restless the more time passes. Anyone else would have already fallen for him or would have at least shown some signs of attraction yet you are still as fleeting as the day he first met you. What is he doing wrong? Nothing, he includes after a good while of self-reflecting. He has done nothing that could have roused your suspicion or that could have made you feel uncomfortable around him. He has always been only helpful and kind to you. With this possibility out of the way, his mind drifts towards another one that has him instantly on edge. Perhaps he hasn't enough for you. It is this idea that fills him with growing jealousy as a bitterness he has always had against naturally talented people appears. He starts cracking and you see that on the day he catches you with Murasakibara, chatting in a carefree manner. You've never done that with him. The shock on your face is evident when he storms over, his normally stoic expression twisted by hurt and anger that he barely manages to swallow down when he reaches you two and separates you two, his heart poisoned.

◾️It is irrational jealousy that leads you into the unfortunate situation of being indirectly betrayed by your own friends whose assistance he requests and they fall easily for his charm as they help to set you two up, unaware of what is about to occur. There are cracks on the surface as his eyes contrast his usual poker face, the growing anger and jealousy almost palpable. It is the very moment you dare to voice yet another excuse that finally makes the thread snap and all the bitterness and anger erupts, clearly visible on his face. His frustration and resentfulness is audible as he asks you what it is that he would have to do to be finally worthy of your time, eyes ablaze as he stares at you. As soon as you take one step back, he takes one forward until you find yourself pressed against the wall. There are tears in your eyes yet he is far too caught up in his own pain to care too much. You don't even get another chance to beg him to let you go as the moment your lips part, he instantly silences you with an impulsive kiss, hands pushing you harder against the wall as he presses himself against your body in a desperate manner, only pulling away when he tastes salty tears, whether they are yours or his he does not know.

Mibuchi Reo

🌃Mibuchi Reo is a rather interesting case as he is simultanously rather uptight yet also quite open about his feelings. Affectionate with the nicknames he chooses to call you by and the infatuated glances he gives you, the moment people like Hayama even dare to point it out to him, Mibuchi becomes rather displeased and quickly starts chastising him with an annoyed glare on his face. He isn't one to deny his own feelings of course but he is rather sensitive when other people point it out to him, especially those he knows would only give him a headache. You see, he is a rather possessive man who would like to hoard you for himself without people constantly interfering and pointing the obvious out. This is only further amplified when he comes to realise that you are quite set on the irrational decision to avoid him no matter what. Your smile is almost, but only almost, as sickenly sweet as his own when he approaches you when you are alone as he feels more inclined to be open about his affection. Very open. You leave him alone rather stunned after the first time as you hurry away without making it look like you are running away, his pointed glare adding to your nervousness.

🌃He does not take it well at all and this is quite obvious to his teammates. He is brooding the entire time, deep in thought as a sigh escapes his lips more than once during training. Hayama and Nebuya use that chance in an attempt to get under his skin by teasing him but they get more than they asked for when normally gentle eyes stare at them creepily as he reminds them with a lopsided grin on his face that he would appreciate it if they wouldn't make fun of his personal problems since he does not appreciate it at all. They keep quiet for the rest of the training whilst he does his best to not dwell on it, at least not during practice with Akashi. He tries his luck again the next day, although much to his dismay he isn't able to catch you alone this time which is why he tones his affection significantly down, although it is still quite obvious to the untrained eye that he is rather besotted with you. Once again he finds himseld being indirectly rejected by you, this time in front of all your friends. It is a blow to his feelings as much as it is to his ego but he forces himself to not show any of his hurt feelings. Not in front of other people. It almost looks convincing if you wouldn't know better.

🌃There is no Reo for you the next few days as he doesn't seek you out but it doesn't really ease your nerves that much. He makes an effort to act fairly normal the following days, although he really has to strain his eyes to not let his gaze wander to you and to immerse himself in sweet, little daydreams. Oh, if only you'd know how much you torment him with your rejection. You truly do not know what you are creating, do you? He can just sense the unease radiating off of you when he catches you all by yourself again, the gentleness in his eyes once again accompanied by this sweetly obsessive glimmer he only shows when he is alone with you. Your heart is pounding as you do your best to politely decline his request once again. Your skin is prickling when his smile twists into something comparable to what you'd see in a horror movie. The silence is crushing you yet he lets you bathing in it on purpose before he suddenly lifts his index finger, not dropping his grin as he stares at you. For a moment you wish he would just chastise you for rejecting him again, to say anything to ease you. You can only fret in cold sweat when he instead leaves you wordlessly as you try to figure out what his gesture just meant.

🌃Days pass by without any incident yet it feels more akin to the calm before the dreaded storm which doesn't allow you a moment of peace. You almost feel tempted to approach Mibuchi yourself and it takes a lot of concentration to stop yourself from begging him to stop. Then he appears behind you nearly a week later and you nearly die of the heart attack you receive when his fingers tentatively grace your sides. The question he asks you in that same sweet tone that day is the same one he has already asked you before and never before have you shot him down faster, barely able to keep your tone steady as you ask him pleadingly to stop his behavior around you as you even bow your head. In hindsight you would have prepared that infatuated expression over the blank coldness on his face when you straighten your back again. You quickly bow out of the situation, or at least try to do so. His long arm reaches for you and tugs you with force back though, the unexpected surprise causing you to stumble against his back. Both of his arms tighten tighten around your form, his face suddenly in the crook of your neck as he takes deep whiffs of your scent before you feel his lips against the skin.

Shibusawa Tatsuhiko

💎Shibusawa has long grown bored of the world and the people inside of it. Nothing surprises nor excites him anymore, his life a dull one where the only thing he can do is collect riches and gifts as a short-lived game to entertain himself with. Your existence finally breaks that gray cycle he has found himself in for years. There is a warm buzz in his heart when he indulges in thoughts of you and a pleasant shudder in his body when he gets close to you, his hands always trying to reach out for you and to touch you to feel that electrical tingle as soon as his skin connects with yours. The excessive habit of his to hoard treasure in various forms extends to you now as well as Shibusawa wishes to hoard and keep you for himself, the most valuable gem he could over possess one that lives and breathes. Obviously he is not blind to the way you always pull away from him when he wants to ask you to spend time with him, the slight discomfort hidden behind your polite exterior glaringly obvious to his trained eye. He could end it all of course as he has all the needed tools at his hands to simply whisk you away within the same hour but he refuses to use them.

💎There is thrill in his chest after all, his heart feeling like it is beating for the first time vigorously in his chest again after years of having fallen into a sad rhythm of boredom. It would be so easy to simply take you but instead Shibusawa decides to play along with the goal to win your heart over through his own effort. He has always the choice to abduct you after all, he can effort to play around and engage in this cute game of yours. Every information he gains, he tries to figure out by himself instead of letting other people do the work. Everything feels much sweeter when he sees it with his own eyes after all instead of only reading it on a white file. His obsession truly yearns to devour everything and he throws himself at every new discovery like a starved animal and in a way his heart and soul are indeed starved. Starved for anything to fill the emptiness, an emptiness you so effortlessly mend and all that without being aware of it. Your dismissive behavior whenever he asks for your time may be a tiny bit disheartening but he is too much in love with the challenge to end everything already. There is so much to learn, so much to discover about you after all.

💎A man of his intellect notices even small details easily, although if he is not someone you like keeping close to you. It deeply unnerves you how much he has picked up on after only a while of knowing you as he can even point out the little habits and ticks of you that you show without consciously being aware of it. The excessive knowledge you think he shouldn't have about you is a faraway cry from what he is feeling. It isn't enough. Tatsuhiko knows that there is still so much left that he doesn't know about you and with each passing day the urge to find out what he hasn't seen yet grows stronger and stronger. It is then that your polite decline every time he suggests that you two could spend some time together starts bothering him. You deprive him of something that is worth more to him than all the gold and jewels he has hoarded somewhere, prevent him from filling the gap in his heart that starts aching the moment your presence disappears. Hollow desperation claws at his chest, something Shibusawa is not used to feel at all and he does not need long before arriving at the conclusion that he does not enjoy this all-consuming emptiness he feels. Perhaps the time has finally come.

💎You have a hard time figuring out how he even found your address when he rings one night on your door and gracefully moves his way around you before you can even think about closing the door. Your body posture is wary and ready to attack until he decides to finally confess all the grief he feels in his heart in disturbing ways as he expresses his morbid desire to strip you of all your secrets because only then will he feel whole again. Unfortunately you want to keep those secrets to yourself and as much fun as this game has been, it is time for him to collect his treasure. You're fully prepared to fight and run away but his reflexes are far too fast as he pulls out a syringe and injects something into your arm. The effects only take seconds to show as you suddenly go down on your knees, your legs losing all of their strength. He drags you to the couch and you can barely gather the strength to weakly flail around before your heaved up. His voice is soothing and calm as he tells you that the effects will disappear after a few hours, his fingers dancing over your body before suddenly starting to remove your shirt gently. A few hours is more than enough time to satiate some of his curiosity after all.

Tachihara Shunzen

🟫A quiet aura and calm expression do not always have to imply that someone is doing well as sorrow and trauma come in various forms. Shunzen's pain is a parasite, one that silently feasts on his flesh on the inside whilst he pretends to be okay on the outside. War does not have winners and losers after all, it leaves everyone with either death or wounds that will never heal, whether those are physical ones or mental ones. Worst of all is that no one would truly understand the horror that has him at times still breaking out in cold sweat, not unless they saw and felt the same horrifying images he had to go through. No one deserves to go through what he went through either so Shunzen hides away the pain, allowing it to rot his flesh away from the inside. His obsession for you is only another bug eating away at him as he does the same thing he has always done since the war ended. Burrying everything that he shouldn't bother others with away somewhere deep inside. Initially it seems to work like it has always done but soon the feeling festers and cracks slowly start to appear within the wall he has carefully built. He doesn't know whether that is a good or a bad thing.

🟫Years of war have made him cautious and warily of his surroundings, have sharpened his senses and given him the ability to assess information at a quicker pace. You do not want to spend time with him for some reason but he knows that it isn't because you are a bad person. He has seen how kind and patient you are with other people, he knows how nice you are to his younger brother from the stories he always tells him about you. Knowing that though bears the question why you single him out as much as you do. Perhaps it is because you have some information about his past as a soldier, it isn't uncommon for former soldiers to end up being made into outsiders. He won't deny that he has done some terrible things but on a battlefield the kind hearts are always the first ones to die as it is either living or dying in a war and he was able to live, thanks to a little girl. He reasons with himself though as he decides to simply stay content for now by observing you and keeping an eye out for you, always alert for any danger that could happen to you at any time. Old habits are hard to shake off after all, especially when they determined whether he'd live to see another day or not.

🟫Initial humbleness to respect your choice fades away with time though as he can feel the obsession crawling around inside his chest, spreading like a virus as it robs him of his control. There is a silent demand echoing around in his head that gets harder to ignore as time passes. He deserves your kindness just as much as everyone else. No, he especially deserves it after the living hell he had to go through. He served and fought for his own country, for people like you. Doesn't he deserve more respect and kindness than that? The desperation tugging at his heartstrings is hard to ignore as those thoughts grow louder and louder inside of his head, almost deafening him at times. Fissures appear all over his heart and mind, forcing the feelings he has been trying to ignore to resurface and clawing at his crumbling walls in demand to be let out. Images flash before his eyes, his ears are ringing and every breath starts stinging as if he has just inhaled smoke. Words are unable to leave his mouth as he seeks you out, hands slightly shaking as his eyes silently beg for you to help him. He needs someone right now and his heart would never settle for anyone else than you. You pretend like you don't see him though.

🟫That's when the wall shatters and everything that has been rotting away in his heart is finally unleashed. He's drowning with each new wave that overcomes him, left alone to navigate through all of it. It doesn't have to be that way though... It shouldn't have to be. Shunzen has always been someone whose character has been almost too dainty for everything he went through but it is only on that night that you see his true self. All of emotions are worn on his face, his feelings raw and bleeding out of his eyes in form of salty tears. Cold sweat is covering every inch of his body, his eyes inspecting you with a newfound desperation as if you are the oasis in the desert. There is a familiar ringing in his ears again, every flicker of light triggering memories of explosions around him. His steps are surprisingly fast for someone who is trembling as much as he does as he reaches out for you, embracing you tightly as your words don't even reach him amongst all the other noises he hears. Guilt stirs awake inside of you only to be dimmed the moment his lips find yours in a messy kiss, his arms pressing you tightly against his body. That's when he finally finds silence within his mind and heart.

Shiota Nagisa

🐍Nagisa is already an individual who is secretly fighting with a low self-esteem as neither his grades have ever stood out nor anything else about him. Even his own mother has expressed occasionally that she has wished for a girl but got a boy instead, although over the years his relationship with her majorly improved. It is this low opinion that has been installed into every crevice of his body that prevents him from daring to get any closer to you initially. Your kindness is what has always attracted him to you yet he fears that he might become the exception. There is no valid proof for this thesis of his but the anxiety is a chain that binds nevertheless. The blue-haired boy is always found around you but never with you. Skills he has learned from his precious sensei are used to stalk you and so skillfully that no one even notices. Nagisa blends in effortlessly, hides from your sight even if he might be closer than you would ever be comfortable to find out. He's in trees, bushes or even trailing right behind you as he enjoys your smile and your laughter from a safe distance. It is a needless torture he subjects himself willingly too though as his longing for you only grows the longer he stalks you.

🐍It takes a lot of courage from is part and fillip from his friends before he finally decides to ask you if you would like to hang out with him. Multiple times he has found himself standing close to you only to shy away in the last moment when your gaze met his. In hindsight it would have been better for his sanity if he would have done the same again. Lots of things would have been better than seeing the look in your eyes when he asks you if you'd like to go on a date with him. The surprise, the pity and then the guilt as you already know your answer. No amount of politeness from your side could soften the blow as a heart far too fragile for someone with his skills is shattered into little pieces. There is a telling stinging in his eyes as he mumbles an apology for having bothered you before he disappears, the pain he is in in that moment indescribable. He shouldn't have expected anything else though. This was bound to happen. What was he even thinking in the first place? He is not everyone after all. Days fly by as he doesn't show himself in front of you anymore. He fears that he would break down again if you were to spot him and give him that same pitying look.

🐍His stalking tendencies increase though as a result of avoiding you directly. It doesn't save him from the pain but it is preferable to the other option. Insecurities only heighten as he wonders every day and night what other people have that he doesn't only to beat himself down as he knows that others have always stood out more than he did. That hasn't changed even after graduating middle school. Even as he tells himself this over and over again though, the pain still stays. Jealousy has rarely been something that can be simply ignored after all as Nagisa knows what it is his heart wants. Why can't you spend some time with him? What would he have to do? He can change himself for you if you want him to! Caught up in his won desperation, he is too blinded to realise that it is this toxic mindset that only pushes you farther away from him. It is quite the dangerous game both of you are playing, although you are the one who is in the most danger. You see Nagisa cracking and crumbling, wonder if it is only your anxious imagination that sometimes catches glimpses of him as you walk around outside. A tiny part of you feels horrible but your fear is stronger than your guilt.

🐍That is how you awake one night abruptly, you initially don't know why yourself. Much to your horror when you turn on the bedside lamp, you find Nagisa standing at the end of your bed, staring at you with a foreign gleam in those blue eyes. You want to let out a scream but you are barely able to open your lips before he's suddenly kneeling above you, one of his hands muffling the sound of your scream. Your body goes deadly rigid when you stare directly into those empty eyes, barely recognising Nagisa as it almost looks like he is a different person now. His voice is quiet yet eerily intense as he warns you to keep quiet as he removes his hand from your mouth. You barely dare to breathe when he withdraws himself from your form, your heartbeat playing a frightened melody in your chest. You're too afraid to even look at him as you gaze at your sweaty palms before his voice speaks up again. The more vulnerable and shaking tone he uses sounds much more like the person you know as he asks why you had to always ignore him. You don't get to answer though, darkness flooding your vision as he knocks you out. A pair of warm lips is the last thing you feel before passing out.

Isogai Yuma

🟤Even when Yuma spent his time being made into an outsider during middle school, his kind and considerate nature never faded away throughout it all as he instead made new friends he still keeps in contact with years later. It is the warmhearted nature in you that attracts him to you as well as he admires you. Always honest and staying true to your feelings, you never miss out to express your own opinion and emotions clearly without losing your head. Yuma is quite content to just watch you for a while, his admiration steadily growing as he sees more and more of your heart you openly carry on your sleeves. Soon he finds himself longing for more than to just simply observe you throughout your day at work. Unlike his former blue-haired classmate though, Isogai goes through no such troubles as a low self-confidence. Instead he approaches you kindly and welcoming, acting on his wish to get to know you better and to spend more time with you. There are no signs that he is pushing anything though as he knows that he shouldn't force any more meaningful relationship on you as your consens is something he values which is why he wants to see how you feel about him.

🟤Isogai is no fool though and soon it becomes obvious that this is getting nowhere. You never attempt to deepen the relationship between the two of you beyond the one of friendly co-workers who can chat throughout the day. Taking notice of that, Yuma decides to switch positions and to be the one who tries the first step. He asks you out when both of you are alone, realistic yet distracted by his beating heart. You can only give him an apologetic smile as you decline his offer and merely tell him that you feel flattered but do not have the time and interest to think about a serious relationship. Yuma can only do his best attempts to hide his hurt feelings but respects your decision nevertheless. Somehow he expected such a reply from you for some reasons. As much as it hurts him to admit, it is quite obvious that your interest in him has always been rather limited and you only find yourself spending that much time with him because both of you work together in the same job as often as you do. There is a clear line you have drawn though, one that doesn't want him as anything more than the acquaintance at work. A decision that isn't all that welcming in Isogai's eyes.

🟤He has always been quite beloved with the ladies and he still is but he has never allowed himself to think of him as something better just because he looks good and has the considerate and gentle character to match his appearance. With everything that is going on involving you though, he starts wondering what exactly it is about him specifically that has you acting so uptight. After all you do not have the same problem with other people you work with or call your friends. No, it is only him and it is a terrible feeling to see how everyone is given your kindness yet he is the only one who is somehow left behind. He has been trying to get some answers from you, hasn't given up to ask you every once in a while after hoping that you have had enough time to consider and forget but your answer in its core has never changed, only the excuses you use. Something sparks within him every time you give him a new excuse to avoid him as politely as possible and it slowly alters him. No, rather it adds something that he has never felt or thought before. It is new and frightening but feeds off of his growing frustration and confusion every time another lie leaves your lips.

🟤Yuma finds himself eventually doing something he has never done before. He actively uses your friends to his advantage to get a chance to have time with you alone as he just wishes to talk to you without running away. They are easily charmed by him and whilst a part of him feels guilty, another part of him has gotten quite relentless. The betrayal in your eyes is hard to miss when he appears whilst your friends drag you somewhere only to leave you as soon as he is there, their giggles fueling your anger as they are oblivious to the situation. Through gritted teeth you excuse yourself as you turn around with every intention to leave only to be left perplexed by his fast movements as he blocks the path before locking the door, throwing the key away. his eyes have lost part of their kind glow as he reminds you that he just wishes to talk to you. There is a tension surrounding you which differs from the normally warm aura that is always where he is. When you slowly back away from him, his hands suddenly grab your arms and panic trails up and down your spine, the air turning even more prickly, clearly out of patience by now. Sit down and calm down. He just wants to talk with you.

Karasuma Tadaoi

⬛Karasuma has one notable weakness and that is his terrible density. Clearly he hasn't even grasped the full extent of his emotions for you yet even if he is already acting on them. His eyes are always on you the moment he enters his field of vision and he never really lets you out of his sight the moment that happens either. His entire exterior is quite tough and intimidating so under his gaze you always feel rather pressured but are too nervous to speak up. Eventually he always takes notice of your growing fear and withdraws his gaze, his eyebrows furrowed as he wonders what just overcame him to stare so indecently at you for such a long time. There is no denial that he catches himself multiple times more staring at you. As an agent, a highly respected one at that, he has a considerable amount of influence and power and partially he uses that, although he does not see the malicious intentions behind it. He likes to keep tabs on you, although you are neither a threat nor are you in any danger. Karasuma himself has a hard time understanding yet why he is doing all of that. If he had to make an accurate guess though, it would probably be that it helps him to feel more relaxed.

⬛He isn't as ignorant to never figure it out though. Somewhere along the line is the realisation that he has feelings for you, although he must admit that the extent of those feelings is rather concerning. He keeps a distance from you after he has solved the puzzle finally, doesn't try to get involved with anything that involves you all in an attempt to rid himself of those dark urges. For the first time he is stuck in a situation where he can't do something even if he puts his mind to it though. There is shame and frustration swirling around all within him as his focus is dwindling much to his annoyance. Eventually he has to come to the realisation that nothing good will come out of all of this and that instead the most convenient way seems to do what he has been doing before, only that now he should actually try to make an effort to get to know you better. He is dressed well when he finally approaches you, his mind focused as if this were a mission. If he is hurt or surprised when you decline his offer for a shared cup of coffee together, he doesn't show it. His face doesn't give anything away and somehow that only makes you more anxious as you have no way to read him or his current thoughts and feelings.

⬛It is quite hard for Karasuma to decipher how exactly he feels after your rejection. He wonders if it was his own fault as he has been told quite often before that he has a rather intimidating appearance and even if he is dense when it comes to love, he is rather skilled to spot the signs of anxiety and stress your body shows when you are aware that his presence is close, even if you try to be polite about it all. Pinning this down as the problem that has to be solved, Karasuma approaches everything still with the efficiency as if it would be an important mission. He determines what you like and what he can do to have you feel more at ease when around him. There is a lot of effort and even you can sense that as he tries to soften his expression when around you and rids his voice of any overly harsh tone when he talks to you. Still, your decision to not get involved deeply with him seems to stay the same and for the first time in his life he finds himself annoyed by someone else's professionalism. He knows that he has no right to force you into anything with him yet there is a growing possessive urge within him, one that only gets fueled every time you avoid him again.

⬛When you receive an order for him as he wishes to see you in his office, your heartbeat goes almost through the roof as the tension between the two of you has been nothing short of suffocating since a longer while now. Still, orders are orders and so you find yourself sitting in his office after a while. The silence is thick enough that you could cut it with a knife if you had one as he just sits in front of you, dark eyes inspecting you whilst he lets you soak in the heavy tension. Then, out of the blue with unfiltered words, he expresses his interest in you. You nearly choke on the air. Obviously you have had suspicions of your own but you never expected Karasuma of all people to be so direct about it. The not so romantic confession is immediately followed by a request for you to be officially his. At this you find yourself in utter shock as you thought that you had made your opinion already quite clear. Even if he is your superior, you have no intention to keep quiet about this. At least those are the plans until both of his hands smother you suddenly, his gaze darker than you remembered as he corrects himself. This was no request. This was a demand.

Hyuuga Natsuhiko

🔴Natsuhiko's motives have always been on the more dubious side as he seems to choose his sides based on the shallow reason of what interests him at the moment. This seems to align nicely with his motives for hanging out with you initially. You just happen to have caught his interest and Natsuhiko is rather persistent with his attempts to get to know you. Your declines and rejections are rather familiar to him by now as he has already asked you countless times for your time and dates yet he is always met with the same polite smile as you once again put him down. It is quite hard to determine whether to feel pity for him for being such a perpetual fool or for you as you are the one suffering from such a dense admirer of yours. It all may seem harmless at the surface but feelings have already begun to blossom in Natsuhiko's chest as his interest in you only deepens in spite of your clear demeanor that you hold no interest in him that would go any further than suggesting that both of you are something more than classmates. If it would have been anyone else, they would have probably given up by now. Natsuhiko isn't everyone else though and his obsession only pushes him to go further.

🔴So obsessed is he in fact that your sugar-coated words of rejection do not even bother him much anymore. He desires your attention above anything else, no matter how minimal it may be. Whenever you reject him, you pay attention to him. You give him that deceptive smile that still looks beautiful even though he is aware that it isn't sincere and your gaze is focused on his. Whether you share his mindset or not, in Hyuuga's mind in those moments you belong completely to him as you never pay as much attention to him as in those moments. His heart is always beating inside his chest after such moments as he yearns for your attention again. He regularly confesses to you after that to savor that sweet moment where he is all you focus on yet unfortunately this feeling passes too fast for him to fully indulge in it. This is the main reason why he increases his clingy antics by a lot as he yearns for more attention from you. There is always a rather nonchalant air around him when he follows you around, seemingly indifferent to the fact that you can clearly see him. Even confronting him about his creepy behavior doesn't deter him the least as he instead gets excited that you look at him.

🔴Do not think that he is oblivious. He might appear lazy at times but he isn't as stupid and sleezy as some may believe him to be. Of course he knows that his behavior would scare some and he clearly notices that it gets under your nerves too. It's just that he doesn't really care about it that much as long as you give him the attention he desires, even if it is negative one. In fact you only encourage him to keep going if you turn around as it confirms to him that he can gain your focus if he annoys you by following you around and always watching you. Despite his grander knowledge of the current situation, Natsuhiko does like daydreaming about you when he has the time, especially when he can watch you and you either ignore him or haven't noticed him yet. Just maybe there is a slice of delusion somewhere within him as he does believe that those daydreams will be reality one day. He just has to make sure that you focus on him more. Much more than you are doing now as your mind is still filled with school and other things. His mind on the other hand is clouded with everything involving you and he would appreciate if you would think about him as much as he thinks about you.

🔴Ultimately it is simply not enough for him. The scrappy slivers of attention from you are far from what he truly desires and it only gets worse because he sees everyday how willingly you give other people the attention and affection he would like for himself. A reckless decision pays off though when he manages to convince Tsukasa ro assist him so that he can have you for himself without your friends or anyone else around. There are no ulterior motives though as he doesn't even intend to pressure you into a relationship with him. He might do that another time. For now he is just relishing in the fact that there is only you and him, his heart pounding with giddiness even as you ask him what just happened and where everyone else has suddenly gone. His eyes drink it all in though, your slight fear that you hide behind a courageous mask as you confront him and demand this time to know what just happened because clearly Hyuuga is in on something that you aren't. So close. You are so close to him, your eyes glaring at him yet your poor attempts to intimidate him do the complete opposite as his excitement gets the better of him and lips clash against your own in a reckless and messy kiss.

Minamoto Teru

💛By all accounts, Teru has his hands rather full. He is the president of the Student Council, always ranks first amongst all students in school and then there is also his secret occupation as an exorcist that most students do not know about. There are lots of duties loaded on his young shoulders yet he manages to do them all and still makes time for you. He is not one to deny his feelings because even if he would, he isn't sure if he could with the way they have already spun out of all control. An obsession is the last thing he would have expected to happen to him yet here he is as all of his thoughts and feelings suddenly revolve around you as if you were the sun. Credit is given where credit is due though, he hides it exceptionally well behind his normally calm and kind attitude. Secretly he likes to keep an eye out for you though as he is most familiar with the supernatural lurking around every corner of the school which does give him a strong protective vein that is at times hard to ignore, especially when he senses something that is dangerously close to your classroom. There is more attention he gives you as time passes and the initial shock melts away and he slowly starts embracing his obsession.

💛It is around the same time that he starts considering that he should start to seriously woo you. Now that the shame and guilt have been replaced by a gradual acceptance of his feelings, the possessive core of his starts acting up ever so slightly. Teru knows that he would never get over it if someone else were to date you and whilst he isn't just yet sure how exactly he would react, he can already tell that it wouldn't be pleasant. Better prevent a problem before it can even happen rather than fixing it. As much as he doesn't want to be conceited about his reputation, he goes into this all with a fair amount of confidence. He works hard and it always shows after all. As polite as you may try to be though, you aren't fooling Teru. He has perceptive eyes that notice the little twitches in your face and the way you fidget with your hands when he is around you. For reasons he is not sure about yet himself, his presence makes you uncomfortable. The signal you give out silently whenever he asks if he can walk you home or if you'd like him to help you with schoolwork due to his exceeding grades is obvious. You do not wish to get to know him any better and would prefer to keep your distance.

💛He must say that he is rather hurt as he realises this. The worst about it all is that Teru doesn't even know what it is exactly that has caused you to feel this way about him to begin with. There have been moments where he has asked you very subtly if there is something that you don't like about him but he has never gotten the answers he has hoped to receive. If he doesn't know what is wrong, he can't fix it after all. It isn't like him to simply give up of course and he still does his best to figure out what he can do to get you to trust him more but your heart seems as unmovable as a mountain as your opinion seems to have been already decided a long time ago. This does frustrate him eventually as he wonders what he has ever done to you for you to be so unwilling to even give him a chance. Nothing persuades you and gradually his heart gets venomed with dark feelings that start festering alongside with his growing frustration and pain. What is it that he is doing wrong? His young heart gets corrupted eventually as he goes through his first heartbreak with your continuous rejections. A dangerous feeling of anger sparks within him. He is not going to play the part of the hopelessly lovesick fool with you.

💛For the first time he abuses the authority he has as he uses his position as the president of the student council to lure you to his side, all by yourself. He can already tell that you are not exactly thrilled to be here but that's alright. After today things will be different after all. You don't look overly surprised when Teru confesses his feelings to you, only a tired look on your face as you prepare yourself to let him down again. Only that he stops you by lifting his hand and stating that he knows already that you don't feel the same way he does. Confusion and the tiniest spark of hope fill you that maybe he has finally understood but it is quickly snuffed out when his his normally kind expression loses its warmth. There is a certain emptiness to his gaze that makes you uneasy as he asks you why you push him so vehemently away, blue eyes demanding an answer from you. There is no reply from you though, causing him to let out an ominous sigh as he steps closer, hands seizing your shoulders to stop you from moving away. He admits to you that he is tired of waiting for you and wants to take everything into his own hands before he leans in, his lips brushing over your own before traveling down your neck.

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ladygoth · 7 months

Text

⛦˙♱⋆♱˙⛧ ᴛᴏɴɪᴄ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴅɪᴇꜱ ⛦˙♱⋆♱˙⛧

summary - you try to avoid ghost after your separation but it seems like forces brings him back to you.

text messages with ghost is important to this, specifically text message 09.

alcohol consumption, angst and low-key desperate manipulative ghost?

word count - 1891.

“Honestly, I think I was over-reacting,” you sighed before you pressed the curved tip of the wine glass against your lips, accompanied by Mike and the quiet volume that emitted from his television, the both of you had rested against his yellow sofa you once made fun of the first time you stepped into his home, but ever since the break-up you had learned to love the unique futon.

“I don’t think you were,” Mike shrugged, he had his arm rested behind your shoulders, giving you some comfort throughout the conversation. “Your feelings were valid, you just wanted to hear I love you from Ghost.”

“But what if he’s right? If he just said it, it wouldn’t have been genuine,” you shared and silent, Mike gently shrugged his shoulders.

He appeared somewhat embarrassed with what he had wanted to say, though in the end, he had fought through the feeling. “I believe, that if any other man had been with someone that had looked like you, they would’ve said they loved you on the second day.”

You had laughed as you leaned your head against his shoulder. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Shut up,” Mike snickered, “babydoll, everyone thinks you are.”

Comforted, you had gently smiled at his small speech before you took another sip of the expensive wine you had bought. Ever since the break-up, you had been hanging around Jasmine and Mike more often, partying, clubbing and drinking, and you had been taking less of your anxiety and depression pills, you had felt confident and free without them. If Ghost heard what you have done, he would’ve never let you hear the end of it.

Then as punishment he would’ve fucked you, and oh how much you have missed his dick, his tongue, his fingers, the mere thought of it had made heat commence between your legs and a certain shift pulse. You had gently gulped down another drink ere you looked up at Mike. “Should I get back with him---”

“Of course not, he was controlling, possessive and mean, he made you lose contact with your best friend,” Mike winked and humoured you had smirked.

You had been avoiding Ghost ever since he returned from dispatchment, you changed the locks so he couldn’t come in and would make sure he was in his home before you left yours and you had always looked over your shoulders, you had sometimes felt like he was always watching you with those intense eyes of his.

There had been a moment when Ghost had knocked on your door and you had pretended as if you weren’t home, but he knew you were, because he saw you enter your home before he reached it. He told you that he would wait out your home all night and he did, though you were just as stubborn and didn’t leave your home and never responded to anything he had said.

You had spent more time in Mike’s home before you left to yours, accompanied by Coco who had been you biggest comfort throughout the entire separation, the second one being alcohol. There were moments when you found yourself awake in the most embarrassing environments because of it, some of them dangerous, and whenever you did, you’d think about the disapproving look Ghost would have on his face if he saw it, or how disappointed his tone would be. Even through text.

Once again you had found yourself drunk, and had been glad that you called yourself an uber home, conceited that you didn’t need to vomit and in deep need to be touched. Mayhap you’d go to Mike, or just please yourself with one of the toys you had kept hidden in the room.

You had stepped into the elevator and immediately started looking for your keys, you had forgotten to press the button but had informed yourself you’d do it once you find those keys of yours, and intensely focused on your task, you had almost overlooked the recognisable scent that punched through your nose and immediately you had looked up and had felt like air had been trapped in your throat.

Ghost.

He had stood in front of you, his mask on and eyes barely expressive but sharp, he didn’t say anything but had turned to face the buttons and pressed the nub that had led to the floor the both of you lived on. Eventually you had found your keys and had dragged the leather straps of bag up your shoulder, reticently pleading the Universe to take you to your level immediately.

You heart had wanted to leap out of your chest but you had silently calmed yourself down.

“Life is funny, isn’t it?” He said, “all this avoiding me just for me to run into you in the elevator.”

As you clenched your jaw, you had focused your sight on the sealed silver doors of the elevator, the blurry reflection of Ghost had shimmered on it and you had forced yourself to look away. He had his hands in his pockets and had stood tall, per usual, he still looked down at you, he had wanted you to say something, you always did.

“Babydoll,” he called.

Fuck.

“You can’t avoid and ignore me forever, I have stuff in your home I need to get, and I want to speak to you,” he said and anxious, you had looked at your fingers, painted fingernails that had gleamed under the bright light of the elevator. “I’ll speak to you here then.”

Eventually, you had pulled your sight towards him, your head tilting to specifically lock eyes with Ghost. “I don’t think it’s a good idea---”

“You are so stubborn,” he gently joked, “and I’m sorry with how I treated you, you didn’t deserve it luvie.”

You hummed, eyes darted back to your feet, the silverness of the elevator almost glowing white and the glowing ring around the buttons slowly travelled up as the box slowly whizzed past the upcoming floors. “Missed you,” he muttered, “Missed everything about you babydoll---” and the second you had heard the elevator doors ding and spread wide, you had immediately darted through the opening.

You couldn’t.

You couldn’t fall for him again.

“Babydoll!” Ghost called after, his thick British accent coating the area around him as it echoed. He had stepped out of the elevator, the silver doors slowly closing behind him. “Please,” he pleaded, as someone who had barely apologised to people, Ghost had felt a yearn to be forgiven by you, he had understood he should’ve given you the affirmation and statement of his feelings that you deserved.

Though, there had been a certain expression you had on your face, that mirrored the stubbornness he had known so well.

“Get your things,” you exhaled as you twisted your body towards the direction of your home, you had plopped your key in and twisted the lock open, unlocking the once sealed door to the area Ghost used to call home.

Once he followed you into the apartment, he had closed the door behind him, welcoming the memorable warmth he had once grown used to, almost everything looked the same, but the only difference had been the new dog that had darted towards Ghost, and quickly, Ghost had remembered the time you had introduced the pet to him during text, and the long ridiculous name you had given it.

Coco Beau Chanel Riley.

He had wondered if the dog still had his last name. You would’ve apologised for Coco’s loud behaviour, but Coco was a really small dog and could do no harm to someone such like Ghost, plus, Coco was protective over you. Guarded and feisty.

Once you had splashed your key against your desk you had sat down, not uttering another word to Ghost who had clenched his jaw, he stood in front of his door and the barking of Coco had died down as she had now moved her attention towards you, she had jumped against your lap and had curled between your thighs, aware that you had seemed unmoved by Ghost so he must’ve been no threat.

“Just like that?” Ghost pondered and as a response, you had curved your gaze towards him, lips closed with your phone between your hands. “You don’t even want to ‘ear the rest of what I got to say?”

“No.”

“Babydoll, it just can’t end like that---”

“Well, I’ve decided that it did---”

“Your being unfair!”

“God, Simon!” You shrieked, as you had sat up, you had felt your body tense with intense angst and apprehension. “Just get your stuff and leave.”

Silent, Ghost had quickly pondered and briefly he had played with the coating of his leather gloves before he spoke again. “Have you been taking your pills?”

“What?” You snapped.

“Have you been taking your pills?” He thoroughly repeated and clenched, you had leaned back against your sofa, dismissive and as kickback, the tall man had walked towards you. “Doll,” he said and irritated, your eyes had then fell against your dog, you knew what he was doing.

Extending the conversation so he could stay longer, and he knew the questioning about your prescription would be a good conference. “I’ve seen you going out more, even going to Mike’s to drink, babydoll, this isn’t good and you know that. You need me luvie, and I need you.”

You had forced down your spit as you had then motioned yourself to stroke your fingers through Coco’s soft fur. He was such a dick.

For a brief moment, his presence had disappeared as he moved to the bathroom that had your medicine, when he had them, he had filled a glass with water before making his way back towards you. “Come on take them doll,” he muttered and as he sat back down next to you, you had paused, your eyes had remained on the items he had held, processing thoughts backwards and forwards in your mind, and eventually you had given in.

You had swallowed the pills and water and placed the cup Ghost had given you, on the small coffee table in front of the two of you, you had looked away from him, satisfaction emanating from his body as he had watched you take them. “You’ll feel much better,” he cooed, the flat of his thumb gently stroking your jaw and as an anxious response, you had continued to gently rake your digits through Coco’s fur.

“Please go,” you responded and finally you had looked at him, your pretty eyes that had stared into his brown orbs had shown the sour and stubborn aura that you had felt, and without fighting, Ghost had followed your short order, though before he had left, he had neared himself towards you, giving you a hard and deep kiss against the side of your head.

Then he had left, without taking his belongings, he had closed the door behind him before leaving to his apartment, and the lack of his presence once more had made you remember how much you had missed him; with your bottom lips behind your teeth, you had returned to your phone, quested yourself with an action you know Mike would be disappointed with, but shameless, your thumb had hovered over the Ghost’s contact and had pressed the unblock button.

text messages coming back :)

was thinking of this song

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x you #ghost simon riley

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