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untraceable-ace · 1 year

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Almost 2 hours late to the live react shitpost party bc I was dying my hair while watching it when it started but anyways

Under the cut bc it both contains spoilers for the m9 reunion p2 and also because it’s really fucking long lmao

They’re kicking these guys asses holy shit

wtf is going on with Kingsley btw like pardon?????

See my question is if Ukotoa is in the process of being released while they’re fighting or if he’s still locked away rn bc like

If he’s not in the process of being released waIT

NVM HE’S OUT

IN THE TEMPLE???

Oh god creepy snakes moving in tandem i love snakes but not like this

Run boy run byeeee

NOONONONO

YEAH NO SHIT THATS NOT RIGHT???

fshshshsh the giant just knocked over in the center of the set is so funny to me

fr hes just

there

Oh wait worm???

Not Ukoatoa??

Caleb my god you are a noodly wizard why would you try to intimidate a betrayer god

LMAO A 17???

“That’s me” jester my beloved

Cmon cmon NO

eight whyyy

Uh ohhhh

HAHAHAHA WARLOCK PACT

Which one which one

Is he just flexing w that ring of telepathy or did that have a purpose

Oh Jester <3

KINGSLEY???

“You just got this body” LMAO

First an accidental pact with an ancient evil sea deity then a pledge to essentially mother nature and now a betrayer god woooooh

Creepy

Wait this guy hates Melora does that mean Fjord can’t connect with her anymore?

LMAO the face

Oh not another cursed sword

i think its a cursed sword

maybe

Them putting up his stat card has me concerned uh oh

LMAO “thanks I hate it”

Ooooh a rapier fancy

its official I love Kingsley

AUGH GOOD BANTER

THE SNAKES

“Martial our forces” HMMM??

Darktow who is in darktow hold up

OHHH RIGHT plank king

Cant go back there

Fantasy DMs jfeoghehgaio;ewhaoge

syphilis gang

DAMN that was one efficient sending

You can just hear the agony in his voice ijodfsihjogiho

If anyone’s a glorified librarian its caleb idk what you mean beau

Charcuterie board

Mamas house has more tiddies followed by “That’s a good point” is fueling me

Winds in the east

mist comin in

something is brewin

about to begin

“I know all languages” jfc how many do you know now????

Im still wondering about that monkey yall what was that about

my original thought was that it was Artagan but it was so antagonistic idk

“We were probably a huge pain in your ass like a year ago” yeah sounds about accurate to what I know

I like her too jester she’s fun

risk esseks life cmon cmon cmon I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE AAUUUAUUGH

HES LEAVING PLS BE CONTACTING

damn wrong elf

fshshshsh hermit elf

WOW thats a lot of potions

break to wash out hair dye hold up

before i leave

haha charcuterie board

ok now brb

Okay hair’s done back to reacting

“Okay so you don’t blow yourself up” mood

Wtf is that rod??? Bc we all know he probably wouldve made it amber if he could

Fuckin dope move though omg

EIGHTY ONE????

GOD DAMN

OOOH OH I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES

GET HIS EYESSSSSSS

dainty sip of sherry in the midle of abttle from a flask i love it

holy noises followed by the camera panning to a glowing silouette of a dick on the floor

THREE DRAGONS?????

i mean ik two are illusions but DAMN

Dude I’m not sure Kingsley’s had one bad move this entire two-shot like wtf

soooo AC is 21? I think?

wait do different parts have different ACs?

HAHAHA YES EYEBALL WEAKNESS

Stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the e-

Gently give a slice to an eyeball muah

so eyeball AC is 27> (or equal to 27)

There has been an assault, far as i can tell sam is being a shit again

New tatoo?? Chainbreaker

Fancy

Ohoho oh nvm rip yasha’s dope ass thunderclap

won wound

Ooooh the big bad demigod can be frightened damn

DUNAMANCYYYYY

aw damn rip spell

new form who dis

Half of this live react is just me repeating one liners i found particularly funny oops

Oh nvm?? Dunamancy spell lives????

Nvm

Well ok its alive just half damage

Boy Veth I would love to see you try

“I can dodge gravity” can you????

HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHARACTER GROWTH INDEED

THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL

Rip Beau taken out of the game bc piss

OKAY RIP BEAU FR???

FUCKING LEGENDARY HDYWTDT

GET FLUFFERNUTTERED BITCH

RIP FJORD SENT OFF INTO SPACE MY GOD

OHOHOHOHOH

CMON CMON CMON SEAL HIM AWAY DO IT DO IT

OooUuUhfhdbdjfe I love the lighting change for going under water

Cmon pls pls pls work seal that bitch away

WHAT

OHOHO

FUCK YEAH MATE

Uh oh my boys gonna get the bends good call w the far step tbh

Actually bad call that’s too fast a pressure difference

Ayo Travis w the accurate bends rep

Ugh I love Caleb’s level 17 art sm

Well damn Melora!!!! Queen shit tbh

I hope “keep that just for me” means he swallowed it again

LMFAO MATTS FACE

Dicks and Other Things

The Molly Look™️

Promptly steal I love him

DAMN Kingsley’s on some king shit

Literally

ORPHAN TAKER IM SOBBING

WAUUAUAUGHFHFB CMON CMON

HIS BOICE I GOT TO HEAR HIS VOICE SJRJQIFUJEHE

THEY GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER SO QUICK????? SIX MONTHS??????????

CRYING SOBBING LOSING MY MIND

That was so fucking good oh my god

stimmed so hard at the end that my limbs started to actually cramp lmao

#my posts #critical role #critical role spoilers #I’m so glad i got to watch this live im so happy #ill be going back to rewatch that epilogue as soon as it’s up on youtube what an ending

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gaepris0n · 3 years

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"Such a slut." - Lily Evans

So here's another smut for my fanfiction. @partlystiles wanted me to do it so I did it.

Warnings: Degradation, thigh riding, tit sucking.

Fanfic name: Ligne De L'Amour

Author: _Bibicyle_

(Can be found on wattpad)

"Who the hell invited Diggory?" Sirius scoffed downing his drink from beside Remus.

Remus shrugged.

"The beauxbatons transfer did." Lily shrugged with a small smile.

"She's quite pretty isn't she?" Lily asked Remus and Sirius with a smile.

"Oh? Melora?" Sirius asked with a pursed lips.

"Is that her name? I still haven't talked to her." Lily replied with a shrug.

"Yeah she's a Hufflepuff?" Remus asked with a clenched jaw, jealousy taking over slightly.

"Yeah, she is." Lily smiled.

"Yeah, she's super........uhm....nice." Sirius replied back, thinking back, as if a memory had shown up.

His cheeks tinting slightly.

"You alright Sirius? You look a little lost in the head..." Lily asked, concern melting on her features.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just this partys a bit boring." Sirius shrugged with a grin.

***

Melora shuffled through the crowds of the party, a bright smile on her face as she finally found Marlene.

Gryffindor had won against Ravenclaw and Marlene had invited her to the party.

"Hello Sugartitz." Melora giggled throwing her arm around Marlene's shoulder and taking the blondes cup.

Downing the rest of it with a grin.

Marlene rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"Someone's already tipsy." Marlene laughed looking at Melora.

"Had to do some pregame drinking." Melora shrugged with a small smile.

"Marlene, Can we talk." Melora looked over to where the voice came from, to see Dorcas Meadowes.

Marlene looked at Melora for a second and Melora smirked taking her arm off Marlene's shoulder and walking away.

"I'll see ya later Marls." Melora smirked.

"Anyone wanna join never have I ever!?" Yelled a voice, a crowd going in a circle.

Melora smirked walking over and dropping down beside Remus.

At first she hadn't noticed him but she did as she felt someone whisper in her ear.

"Lovely to see you again, princess." Melora's breath caught as she turned to look at Remus.

A blush spreading across her face as she looked at him.

"Lupin." She replied with a clear of her throat as she turned back to the circle.

"Why so formal princess?" Remus quirked a brow, his mouth still hovering over her ear.

Reminding Melora of the week prior in the broom closet.

"I'm not." She replied with a flustered look on her face, as she looked at him.

"I heard you invited Diggory, why's that?" Remus asked with a clenched jaw, Melora finally noticing the anger in his eyes.

She opened her mouth to speak but James cut her off.

"Alright everyone, pay attention!" James Potter yelled with a smirk.

"Who'd like to start off?" James asked, Amos Diggory raised a hand with a smirk and James nodded for him to start it.

"Never have I ever played a drinking game before." Amos smirked, everyone in the circle taking a sip from their drinks.

As the game progressed more people joined and others left, although it seemed Melora was one of the only ones still only tipsy.

Marlene had raised a brow at Melora on multiple occasions when the girl hadn't taken a sip from her drink.

Melora shrugged, looking down with a faint blush.

"Never have I ever sucked dick in the school." Marlene smirked, not taking a sip from her drink looking directly at Melora challengingly.

Melora narrowed her eyes at Marlene but took a sip anyways.

All four Marauders took sips from their drinks, along with a few other boys.

All the girls besides Marlene taking sips from their cups as well.

Lily's eyes practically bulged out of her head when she looked at James.

"Alright, this is for the ladies. Never have I ever done anything sexual with the same sex." Amos smirked, leaning back in his seat.

Melora watched as a few girls took sips from their drinks.

Melora felt eyes burning into her, so she turned her eyes running over the form of a red haired green eyed girl who stared right back.

A small smirk going on the girl's lips as Melora made eye contact with her.

Melora gave a small smile, her mind wandering as she watched the girl take a slow sip of her drink.

Taking her drink off her lips and wiping away the small line of whisky that dribbled down her chin.

Melora looked away, her eyes widening slightly as a faint blush went on her cheeks.

Melora wondering how long she had been staring.

Wondering if the girl had noticed but when she looked back she knew the girl had noticed seeing as her eyes were still set on Melora.

A bright smirk on the red heads lips as she set her cup down.

The red head nodded her head towards the stairs.

Melora looked behind her confused thinking someone was behind her but no one was and when she looked back she saw the red head already up and away from the group.

A smirk on her lips as she waited by the stairs.

Looking directly at Melora.

Melora stood up walking where the red head had disappeared to.

As Melora walked up the stairs she saw the fiery red hair disappear behind a door, Melora immediately catching up to it and opening it.

As she stepped in she was suddenly pressed against a wall, lips pressed harshly against hers.

Melora froze for a second but then kissed back.

The red head pulled away with wide eyes.

“Sorry! You-You’re so pretty! I couldn-” “My names Melora, what's yours?” Melora cut her off with a smirk as her chest heaved slightly.

The girls flustered expression melted away as she realised Melora was fine with it.

“Lily Evans.” She smiled, putting a hand out.

Melora quirked a brow, grabbing the red heads hand but not shaking it, instead shoving it to the red heads side.

Instead letting her other hand go to the red headed chin. Pulling her into a kiss.

The redhead kissed back right away, both girls fighting for dominance until Melora had started backing them up.

Their lips still finally breaking apart as Lily fell back onto the bed with a gasp.

“Never done this before.” Melora chuckled darkly as she pulled her dress of her head.

Melora had worn neither a bra nor panties, something she always did.

Her best friend Leo had dared her once to do it, and now she did it at every party just for the fun of it.

Lily's mouth hanging open as she stared up at Melora.

“Well it sure seems like you have.” Lily replied, her eyes darkening as they moved up Melora’s form.

“What's wrong Petal? Jealous I can figure it out?” Melora retorted leaning down so both hands were on either side of Lily.

Lily smirked suddenly pulling Melora down and flipping her over, so Lily was now sat on Melora’s lap.

Melora letting out a shaky laugh as Lily did so.

Her hands on Melora’s stomach as her dress lifted up to just above her hips.

“No. I’m not jealous.” Lily whispered, her hand running up Melora’s side as Melora’s breath quickened.

“In fact, I think I’m the opposite, seeing as I have you right where I want you.” Lily pressed her lips to Melora’s again. Softer this time.

Melora’s mouth opened as she felt Lily’s hand squeezing her tit, giving Lily enough time to stick her tongue in Melora’s mouth.

Melora letting out a muffled moan as Lily’s fingers pinched her nipple, the other hand resting on the side of the girls head.

Melora’s hands rubbed Lily’s thighs, squeezing every few seconds.

Lily seemed to like that seeing as her hips rolled forward everytime Melora had done it.

Melora’s left hand let go of Lily’s thigh, instead moving up her back slightly until she got until a clump of Lily’s hair.

Pulling her hair back so the girl let out a moan, her bruised and puffy lips leaving Melora’s.

Melora moved so she was now sitting up and Lily’s legs were on either side of the naked girls hips.

“What are we going to do now?” Melora whispered with a smirk as her hand tightened around Lily’s hair, while the other traced over Lily’s bottom lip.

“So pretty like this, aren't you? Such a slut too.” Melora smirked, moving hand to hit Lily’s cheek.

Not hard enough to leave a mark but hard enough to leave a sting for a few seconds.

Lily let out a breathy moan as she bucked her hips forward onto Melora’s hips.

Melroa letting out a dark chuckle as both hands went to Lily’s hips, holding her down roughly.

“You sure you wanna do this Petal?” Melora asked as one hand moved toward the end of her dress.

Lily nodded rapidly.

“I need you to say it.” Melora replied.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” Melora quirked a brow with a grin.

“Yes I want to do this.” Lily breathed out, Melora not wasting anytime.

Her hands pulling Lily’s red dress over her head and connecting her lips to the expanse of Lily’s freckled throat.

Lily tilted her head back as her hands went to wrap around Melora’s neck and hair.

Melora pulled away with a breathless laugh.

“Want you to ride my thigh.” Melora smiled looking at Lily who shivered under Melora’s gaze.

“Bu-but I wanted to show you…..how it feels for a girl to eat you.” Lily breathed out shakily.

“I don’t need that right now. I really need this though.” Melora smiled softly as her hands massaged the sides of Lily’s hips, squeezing ever so slightly.

Lily nodded, moving her body so it all rested on one of Melora’s thighs.

Lily's clothed cunt pressed against Melora’s thigh.

Lily started rolling her hips, slow at first.

Melora’s hands helping the girl's movements.

But soon Melora got bored of how slow Lily was being, instead unclipping Lily’s bra and immediately attaching her lips to Lily’s hard nipple, her other hand squeezing Lily’s other tit.

Lily's breath caught in her throat as Melora bit hard enough for a sting to be left.

Lily’s left hand going to Melora’s clit while her other hand went to Melora’s shoulders.

Melora let out a surprised gasp as Lily’s fingers rubbed circles around the bundle.

Melora’s mouth let go of Lily’s tit, instead going to bite Lily’s shoulder, her eyes closing with a breathy moan.

Lily rubbed faster as her body rolled more against Melora’s.

Her wetness rubbing all over Melora’s thigh.

Melora moaned louder as Lily whimpered in Melora’s lips.

“Gonna cum melora.” Lily whimpered out as she moved faster against Melora’s thigh.

Melora’s head lifted from Lily’s shoulder to look at the girl.

Lips bruised, red hair tousled around her shoulders, a red hue covering her cheeks along with a thin layer of sweat all over the girl.

“Let it out then.” Melora replied with a smirk as she dragged a single digit over Lily’s clit.

Pulling it out as Lily moaned louder, shoving her own finger in her mouth she sucked it clean, keeping eye contact as Lily rode out her orgasm.

Her orgasm wasn’t far behind.

Her breath was getting tighter as Lily’s hand hadn’t moved off her.

No, it had gotten rougher more than anything.

Somehow the redhead that was mumbling incoherently above her was still able to give Melora pleasure.

Melora’s breath caught as her eyes rolled back, along with her head.

Lily’s right hand squeezed at Melora’s tit as Melora’s orgasm took over.

The waves of pleasure increasing as Lily pressed harder.

Melora grinded against Lily’s finger until she finally fell back onto the bed with a breathy giggle, Lily doing the same.

#smut #hp smut #hp marauders #marauder #lily evans #lily evans smut #lily evans potter #lily evans imagine #harry potter smut #marauders smut #lily flower #petal

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lorenzobane · 2 years

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I mean Chrysalis is a dumpster fire episode in terms of medical ethics, but I’m just going to ignore that for now and focus on a very telling set of lines.

Sarina is giving Julian a debrief on what her impressions are of all of his friends, and he says that he’ll have to use a poker face (LOL) so she can’t get any more information but she tells him its too late.

When he asks her what her impression is of him, she says “compassionate, brilliant, and lonely.”

He responds with “two out of three isn’t bad.”

To which she replies, “which two?” and he ends the conversation with “that would be giving too much away.”

Anyway- I think its interesting because you HAVE to wonder what the two he thinks are accurate are. I think lonely is definitely one of them, and likely brilliant, which suggests he doesn’t think of himself as compassionate? That is wildly interesting because I guess it makes sense. He went to DS9 basically because he wanted a test of valor (how very Klingon of him). He didn’t do it to support the Bajoran people. Maybe that has really stuck with him? So even though he has really changed, and he is an extremely compassionate doctor, he still views himself the way that he did when he first stepped foot on the station.

Or maybe its a reference to his arrogance, it is his most consistent character flaw and usually what episodes focused on him deal with mitigating or meeting it (The Quickening, Statistical Probabilities, Hippocratic Oath (sorta- i think Julian was right in that episode not Miles), and to an extent Melora). Clearly some of what he loves about medicine is it allows him to live out his god complex. I don’t even really mean that negatively, a lot of doctors I know in real life have a little bit of one, its the whole “holding life and death in your hands” thing I think.

Either way, I think its extremely telling that he (likely) sees himself as brilliant and lonely. I guess its obvious, he knows he’s a genetically enhanced super genius augment whose done a lot of impressive medical things, and he knows he’s lonely but utterly fascinating that according to Julian Bashir, Julian Bashir is not a compassionate person.

#julian bashir #st: ds9 #star trek #deep space 9 #I wonder why he doesn't think he's a kind person #maybe its because he knows that people view him #as a little rough around the edges?#But then again #maybe its a reference to selfishness too #he's hitting on an extremely vulnerable patient #i guess that isn't particularly compassionate #or at least #its a choice that is based #on his own desires and wants not hers #interesting that he is aware of that

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chaos-burst · 4 years

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questions and answers

He had meant to be rude. And it had not worked even a little bit. Eodwulf is sure that anyone else would have been offended. Hell, he’s even sure that the other members of this weird group were absolutely offended on behalf of their friend. But Eodwulf can’t say he has ever met a person like this.

There was no malice, no ill intent, no anger.

When you work with Trent you have to be aware of every little shift in the mood. The slightest twitch of an eyebrow can mean the weather is about to turn foul. Eodwulf knows what to look out for. It had been his intent to rev this weirdo up and it had backfired spectacularly.

Damn.

No meat. No booze. And balls of steel, apparently. Eodwulf had never seen anyone talk to Trent like that. And while Bren‘s—Caleb‘s—words of wanting to kill Trent outright had been more than Eodwulf would ever admit to his mentor, it somehow felt less crazily reckless than to call Trent Ikithon, Archmage of Civil Influence for the Cerberus Assembly and one of the most powerful mages in the Empire, a fucking fool.

To his face. With a smile. In a complete sincere manner.

Eodwulf doesn’t want to replay the words in his head over and over again but his dumb brain has latched onto them and he can’t stop. Only this time it’s not one of Trent’s lessons that forces him to obsessively repeat something until you have internalized it to the point where you can cite it in your sleep.

No.

“Pain doesn’t make people. It’s love that makes people.“

Eodwulf has it on repeat in his head the whole way back to the tower and it is still going when he lies down hours later to sleep.

“What are you“ had not been meant as a serious question when Eodwulf had asked it. But by the time he finally falls asleep he feels like it has become a very vital question indeed, because who or what would dare to speak to Master Trent Ikithon in a way like this with an honest smile on their face.

Because for some reason his thoughts have decided to betray him, Eodwulf’s brain makes his tongue and lips form the words again when they see the Mighty Nein the next time. This time, Astrid and Eodwulf have been invited to dinner—Trent has very specifically not been invited, you could say he was uninvited with quite a few flowery words in a strange accent.

And as soon as Eodwulf sees Caduceus he remembers the weirdly polite scratching of a chair, the wide smile that indicates that this is a person Eodwulf possibly can not force to lose their composure through careful placed rudeness. And his mouth betrays him.

“So. What are you, really?“

Caduceus blinks mildly surprised before his unfamiliar features shift into a warm smile that has Eodwulf feel quite a lot of inappropriate things he didn’t expect to find in a place like this.

“Gardener. Maker of fine tea. A decent cook. Keeper of graves“, Caduceus lists of and he uses his long fingers to count the things that are important to him about himself.

“Very powerful cleric“, Jester chimes in from the right. She has Astrid next to her in a chair and Eodwulf is pretty sure that Jester has started to put flowers in Astrid’s hair. But surely he must be mistaken. Who in the Nine Hells are these crazy people?

“Oh, yeah. Well, that too, I suppose“, Caduceus says, his smile still warm like honeyed wine.

“Huh“, Eodwulf says because he can’t for the life of him think of something else to say. But Caduceus is yet again pulling out a chair for him so Eodwulf straightens his shoulders and sits down next to Caduceus. Across the table from him the angry one throws herself into a chair and stares at him.

There’s no fear there either, but she can be easily angered, something Eodwulf is good at. He gives her a canine smile and she holds up her middle finger.

This group is full of people with an enormous lack of self preservation.

And they are so loud.

Eodwulf almost doesn’t hear it when Caduceus turns to him to ask him a question.

“Huh?“, he says again, like a fool.

“And what are you, was what I wanted to know“, Caduceus says, his lazy grin open and honest. There is no malice in his words. He actually wants to know.

Eodwulf thinks “Murderer, wizard, protégé, spy“ but he doesn’t say any of these things. “Maker of graves“ comes to mind, but it seems like too dark of a joke to make.

“Enthusiastic about both meat and booze“, he says in the end and Caduceus laughs.

“Yeah, as are most of my friends.“

The implication these words bring is probably only in Eodwulf’s mind but it makes him swallow and look away to find Astrid’s eyes. But Astrid now has pink flowers in her hair and a look of absolute confusion on her face as Jester rattles of compliment after compliment about various of Astrid’s features.

Eodwulf can’t help but look at Bre—Caleb. And he sees that there is a soft, barely noticeable smile on his old friend’s face as he watches the scene unfold.

What am I, indeed, he thinks.

Trent’s orders have been clear. Get close to the group called the Mighty Nein to find out what they are working on with Lady Vess DeRogna.

Eodwulf allows himself to think that Caduceus might have been right. Maybe Master Ikithon is indeed a fool.

Because being in the presence of these people is like nothing Eodwulf has ever experienced and it makes him think, wonder, question—

“Here we are again“, Caduceus says after, yet again, Astrid and Eodwulf have been invited for dinner. Eodwulf wonders if this group just wants to make it very easy to spy on them, or if they have an agenda of their own—but it’s hard to believe that there might be any coherent agenda behind anything these people do.

He has watched the buff one called Yasha try and play what looked like a harp made of bone and when the angry one, Beau, told her that she looked hot playing the harp Yasha had torn two of the strings which had led to a whole scene of apologies and various tries to fix the harp.

Jester has drawn dicks on pretty much every surface this magical mansion has and she delights in the fact that Caleb brings the dicks to life in various colors. At some point he made glowing sparkles shoot out of one of the dicks Jester had drawn and Jester had laughed as if this was the best joke she had ever witnessed.

Eodwulf notices Astrid’s eyes on Jester.

Eodwulf also notices that while there seems to be no agenda or efficiency behind anything, they are still being watched.

Beau and Fjord look at them. And Eodwulf is pretty sure Caduceus watches everything as well, but he does it without crossing his arms and glaring so much.

“Looks like it”, he answers. Caduceus offers him tea and Eodwulf’s first instinct is to decline, but then he remembers that “maker of fine tea” had been very high on the list of descriptors so he takes the cup he is offered while somewhere in the background people start screaming something that sounds like “FLUFFERNUTTER”.

Eodwulf tries the tea. He’s not a fan of tea, but this tea is absolutely delicious and he finds himself impressed.

“I believe this one comes from the Hollburns’ graves. Those remains made the tea grow quite fast, it was impressive.”

Eodwulf blinks at his tea and then at Caduceus. For a second his brain wonders if this statement should register as a threat, but it had been delivered with such honest delight and a sense of pride that Eodwulf discards that feeling.

“What?”, he asks. Caduceus points at the tea.

“Oh, well, my family grows tea on those graves we’re keeping. In case you wanted to ask me again what I am. Or—hm, I think I already mentioned that I am a keeper of graves?”

Caduceus trails off and looks thoughtful and Eodwulf stares at him.

“Keeper of Graves. That make you a follower of the Matron?”, he asks.

Caduceus looks at him and smiles.

“Not quite. My family serves Melora. But we are descended from a champion of the Raven Queen.”

Eodwulf can’t help but wonder if this was some kind of weird joke. But his goddess usually isn’t one for joking.

Eodwulf considers for a second, then he pulls out the raven feather pendant from under his cloak.

Caduceus nods. “So”, he says and smiles widely. “What are you?”

Eodwulf snorts.

“For real?”, he says.

Caduceus’ smile widens.

“For real.”

It feels like this has become a sort of game.

“What are you?”

“Moral compass. Middle sibling. Eccentric. Amateur flute player.”

Eodwulf finds that through this question he himself posed the first time, he’s been forced to think more about himself than he feels comfortable with.

“What are you?”

“Decent chess player. Dog person. Sportsman. Only child.”, are the things he says out loud.

“Self-made orphan. Patriot. Volstrucker. Torturer.”, are the things he thinks to himself.

Eodwulf has the impression that Caduceus is somehow aware of the things he doesn’t say.

“So. This is the crew you’re running with now?”, Eodwulf asks Bre—Caleb one night before the Mighty Nein will leave with Vess DeRogna to who-knows-where. Neither Astrid nor Eodwulf did get very far with their planned infiltration work. Eodwulf is not even sure how hard they even tried.

It’s very easy to get swept away by the chaos and the weirdness and the complete lack of fear that the group displays when it comes to him and Astrid. They are dangerous people in a lot of ways.

The Mighty Nein are also dangerous people in a very different way. A way that Eodwulf doesn’t know anything about.

“This is my family, ja.”

He says it, just like that, without looking at Eodwulf.

Family.

The word tastes bitter in Eodwulf’s mouth as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

“Weird people”, he says. Caleb huffs.

“You can say that, yes. But they grow on you very quickly”, he answers quietly and with a small, fond smile that makes something inside Eodwulf ache. For a long time Eodwulf pitied Bren for breaking, for not making it, for failing, for being locked away and discarded. Now he realizes that maybe, in a very macabre sort of way, Bren becoming Caleb through failure was the better end of the bargain.

It feels blasphemous to think that.

“The pink one is especially weird”, Eodwulf finds himself saying and he takes a big swig of whiskey from his flask before handing it to Caleb.

“Ja, I noticed that you seem to have a... uh... particular kind of interest in him. And, if I may add, he in you.”

Eodwulf takes the flask back after Caleb drinks. He contemplates the different sorts of feelings inside his gut as the words sink in. Then he tucks it all away very carefully, just as he learned through many years of being in Trent’s presence.

“Still don’t know what he is”, Eodwulf says. Caleb snorts and shakes his head.

“His people are called Firbolg”, he provides.

“Not sure that’s what I mean. Not anymore, at least.”

It seems dangerous to admit that. Caleb turns his head and looks at Eodwulf with a shimmer in his eyes that Eodwulf can’t read. Many years ago he was able to read Bren like an open book, but Caleb is another book entirely.

“You deserve to have some nice things, you know. You deserve friends. A chance of—hm. A chance of peace. A chance for redemption, if you want it.”

Eodwulf gets up and tugs away his flask.

“Pain doesn’t make people. It’s love that makes people. Pain is inconsequential, it’s love that saves them.”

Eodwulf understands the truth in these words now. Bren was broken, Caleb is being healed. Eodwulf doesn’t think that there’s anything left in him that can be saved. Or should be saved.

“Good luck on your journey tomorrow. Don’t die”, Eodwulf says and he leaves Caleb behind.

What are you, he thinks. A sentimental fool.

Astrid sits next to him on one of the balconies of her house and looks up at the stars above them. The Mighty Nein have been gone for six days and it has been very quiet.

They sit in silence and share a bottle of whiskey, passing it back and forth instead of words. It’s been like this for many many years that they’ve allowed themselves to just be. Today though, Astrid breaks the silence.

“I’m going to be the one who kills him.”

She says it quietly, without remorse, without indicating that this is a scandalous statement. She says it just how other people would say “I’ll go to bed soon.”.

Eodwulf stops breathing for just a moment. Then he inhales the cool night air and turns his head to look at her.

“Could kill you for treason”, he says. She looks at him and cocks her head slightly, the analyzing gaze of a murderous spy meets its equal in silence.

“I’d love to see you try”, she says. Eodwulf grins. It feels reckless.

“Don’t die”, he says, the same thing he’s said to Caleb before. Astrid regards him for a long moment and Eodwulf takes another sip. “Will you help me or try to stop me?”

Eodwulf considers this for a moment. Would he try to stop Astrid should she try to kill Trent? No. Would he help her? He doesn’t know that either.

“Can’t you just wait for Bren to do it for you?”

“I won’t lose to him again.”

Eodwulf snorts.

Always so competitive.

“That’s some fucked up shit, Astrid.”

“Shut up, Arschloch.”

Eodwulf grins before getting up to stretch. He puts his hands on the railing of Astrid’s balcony and wonders what Caleb’s new family is up to.

Making a new family never came to mind before. It sounds like something out of a fairy tale. While he contemplates the question whether he would help Astrid kill Trent Ikithon, a slow, familiar voice pops up in his head.

“Hey. Uh—Jester told me to send you an update. We’re still alive. Hope you’re good. Got a new question for you. What will you become?”

The rustling of Astrid’s clothes as she stands up as well somehow tells him that she received a message in her head as well. She steps beside him and puts her hands on the railing next to his.

“They’re persistent”, she says quietly.

Eodwulf nods and inhales.

He doesn’t know what he will become. He didn’t even know that was a question to be asked. The path is clear. It always was.

Pain doesn’t make people.

“Not going to answer?”, she wants to know.

“Don’t have an answer yet.”

It’s unclear to him whether she means her own question or the message Caduceus just sent him.

He answers the sending spell with a simple “I don’t know.”. It takes a few minutes before another message comes in.

“That’s good. Uncertainty is good. It’s the first step in a better direction. I’m going to kill a dragon now. Wish me luck. Good night.”

“I’ll keep you posted on the answer to that question of yours. I’ll see you tomorrow”, he says and leaves Astrid behind on the balcony. Eodwulf thinks about something he hasn’t thought about in a very long time. A priestess in his Matron’s temple once told him: “Death is the only certainty in life.”.

He thinks that Caduceus would agree.

And Eodwulf hopes that the next time he sees that weird, reckless man, he’ll have an answer for him.

#cadwulf #blumengrove #caduceus clay #critfic #critical role #eodwulf #cr spoilers #fanfiction #caduceus #text #screeching into the void #this got a bit out of hand #but i just wanted to get some stuff out of my system

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salamoonder · 4 years

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Alright, so here’s the thing. At this point, I actually don’t care what Artagan has or hasn’t done and, morally, what that means. It’s irrelevant. Interesting, but irrelevant. What I want to talk about is what the Nein, excluding Jester, know about him, and what they do with this information, and how they cast judgment.

Here are things that the nein have actually seen: fleeting glimpses of a figure in a green cloak. one conversation with a giant archfey who has recruited jester’s help in planning a convention. further, fleeting glimpses. very very brief phrases.

Here are things that the nein have heard about him from jester: he’s pretty cool, you guys :) . he’s got a chaotic streak, like her. he helps her pull off pranks. he’s always shown up for her. he’s handsome. he taught her magic. he kept her company when her mom was busy. he is her first friend. he is her best friend. he is her oldest friend. she really loves him.

and yes, they know he misrepresented himself to jester for years. they know he sent them to an island where you lose your memory every night. they know that he is sketchy as fuck and they do not know if he means what he says. and that is reasonable and understandable and fair.

here is something that i don’t know if you guys know about abusers, regardless of if artagan is one or not. (and he’s not. i’m not even going to say i don’t think he is, he literally is not abusive. words mean something; stop throwing them around because you personally don’t like someone.) you cannot tell their victims that they are abusive or awful or manipulative or horrible, and expect that to help. that makes it worse. the same is true of cults. you cannot, and i mean CANNOT, make yourself hostile, because then the outside world is hostile, and the abuser is safe. the outside world is hostile, and the cult is safe. furthermore you’re reinforcing what every abuser and what every cult plants in their victim’s heads--i’m the only one who would put up with you. i’m the only one who really loves you. everyone else will be cruel to me, but i’m the only thing you have. even if the nein had reason to suspect that the traveler was straight up abusing jester instead of just weird and shady, that is not a good response.

no matter how bad artagan is or isn’t, fjord, caduceus, and beau are still being condescending. they are still failing to trust that jester knows what she’s talking about. they are still trying to coddle her, they are still treating her like a child, and i want to talk about that. i want y’all to see that they’re still treating her like she’s emotionally fragile. like individually, i want to talk about that, and also the fact that everyone seems to want to lump caleb into this. (and yasha?? yasha has barely said anything about him, y’all.)

i’m going to skim over caduceus a bit because i don’t think his is a jester-centric problem. he tends to just trust that he either has the correct answers to a situation, or that even if he doesn’t know what’s correct, he knows what isn’t. this arc has been very interesting, because it’s been a lot of “i’ll play along with this because it sounds intriguing, but i’m going to be very self righteous about it the whole time.” like. the “we’re good” when jester brought up transferring followers to melora is haunting me. why “we’re good”? i get cad’s philosophy that not everyone is going to flock to one god--that’s fine, that makes sense. but the implication of “we’re good” really makes it sound like “mmm no thanks, none of these people would end up in my cool and correct religion anyway.” because he doesn’t know! he doesn’t know if any of these people would actually be happier and better off with melora. or. maybe he does know, or has decided, that they wouldn’t be, because these are not the kind of people that he could see himself falling under the same moral umbrella as. (lmao love how i said i was going to skim. anyway. again, less a jester thing, more a “cad is smug about everything” thing tbh.)

let’s move to fjord. he is quite honestly making me almost more uncomfortable than beau, because he’s making statements that i don’t really actually believe. “we just don’t want you to get hurt” is all very well and good. coupling that with agreeing with beau that they shouldn’t leave jester alone with artagan? without telling jester? does not jive. (i’m still not over the ridiculous of that, by the way. yeah this dude--no, this ARCHFEY, who could snap you in half in a moment--has been alone with her regularly for the first 20ish years of her life but now, now he’s going to try and kill her, and you’re going to be the one to stop that.) fjord keeps saying things like this--that he trusts her--but he doesn’t actually act like it. at one point he even says “if jester has faith in the traveler, that’s good enough for me, i suppose.” but it’s not, and he doesn’t act like it is. you know who actually acts like that? caleb. caleb’s getting his own paragraph though this is getting long as fuck. but if fjord actually meant that? he would’ve told beau “listen i know this situation is sketchy and i don’t like him anymore than you do but because i trust jester i also trust that she knows what she’s doing here, and i’ll be there to back her up with whatever she needs/wants me to do”. but he did not say that or anything like that. instead he agreed with beau to essentially be bodyguarding jester--without consulting jester about it at all. he wouldn’t have told jester “he’s generally full of shit, right?” about the traveler. jester is continually telling the group over and over again that she knows what he’s like. she knows Exactly how he can be. and the sad thing is, if fjord actually believed that she knew what she was talking about when she said that and if he believed that he could actually talk to her frankly and not that her feelings had to be protected at all costs (my skin is still crawling at “we don’t wanna ruin jester’s special day”. it’s not a five year old’s birthday party), then he would have straight up told her. he would have said “hey we’re concerned enough that he’s going to hurt you that we don’t think you should be alone with him. can we help guard against that?”

and i’ll be honest, i’ve kind of been squicked out by all the romantic posts about fjord and jester because he’s spent the last few episodes genuinely treating her like a wonderful but vulnerable child who needs to be protected from the world. when he told beau "I'm probably the least clued in as to how jester feels” i was like YEAH NO SHIT. and i know he meant it in a romantic sense but i feel that it’s true in general. like i get that he’s scared to talk to her. that’s fine. he doesn’t have to talk to her about her feelings, romantic or otherwise. but if he’s acknowledging that he does not at all know how she feels then he has no right to behave as if he does know. and again i don’t mean this in a romantic sense. i mean it in a, he is making the assumption that she can’t handle reasoned criticism of the traveler to her face, kind of sense. he and beau both are opting for “random insults, threats, and judgments they have decided apply” over “genuinely this is why we are concerned”. there has been a lot of “you don’t need him” and “you are better off without him” and “you’re better than him” and “you have us why do you need that” and those are judgement statements that are essentially meaningless. all they do is further demonstrate to jester that they don’t actually understand why she’s upset or what she actually wants.

i think caleb, mr i-eat-encyclopedias-for-breakfast, likely just has a better intellectual understanding of the fae and that may be why he’s not as outwardly concerned as the rest, but he’s also actually decided to trust jester that she knows what she’s dealing with. she has demonstrated both verbally and with her actions that even if she may not have known about artagan initially, She Knows How This Works. and he trusts that. caleb truly went “alright, i trust that you know what you’re doing, where do you need me” and that was IT. i’m not saying that he’s not allowed to be suspicious or concerned or wary of the traveler: i just don’t think he is. and i hate that people keep lumping him in with the rest of the nein “treating jester like a child” because they think he’s predatory or something--especially as caleb and fjord are pretty much the same age--when he is literally the only FUCKING person consistently asking jester how she feels and then actually acting accordingly.

and the thing is, you don’t have to be caleb and largely unconcerned, it is actually possible for you to show concern and alarm and wariness for your friend’s best friend without condescending to them and veth has been doing that this whole damn time. we know how she feels about him; she decidedly does not like him. but she set that aside to really fully listen to jester and then tried to be helpful to her in deciding what to do next, without inserting her own opinion. veth is the only one acknowledging that, sure, this looks really bad and i don’t like that guy, but you know him best, jester, and you know yourself best and so it should be your choice what to do in this situation. she reminds jester--if he is really a friend to you, and he is doing things you don’t like, then you can talk to him about that and he should listen. i want to talk about how when jester suggested that artagan join the mighty nein, there were exactly three reactions. extremely lame excuses from everyone but caleb and veth, “maybe, like, an annex--” from caleb, because he knows what everyone else is gonna say, and “we don’t like your friend” from veth, literally the only person who has apparently decided that jester can hear that without dissolving into a puddle or something.

and i want to make it clear--i don’t hate the actors. and stories are supposed to make you upset and uncomfortable, to an extent. they’re supposed to make you think. you’re not supposed to be happy when darth vader blows up alderaan. you’re not supposed to be happy when edmund betrays his siblings to the white witch. these are all excellent, excellent character choices and i applaud the cast for making them. and i don’t hate fjorester. and like yeah there have been a lot of cute moments in the last few eps. and they are cute and their story is compelling and it’s interesting. but i wish people would stop acting like fjord’s attitude towards her is perfect and lovely and that he trusts her sooo much when he is going behind her back like this. i am...the biggest widomauk shipper. and i have to admit my heart does the swoopy thing every time i rewatch the forehead kiss. but that wasn’t great. it was overall really not a good read or handle of the situation. it was, there was an attempt. and i do think fjord is trying. and i think beau is trying too. and i think all of their attitudes however terrible just come from a place of loving her and wanting to protect her. but--and here i must point frantically back at artagan--loving someone does not mean that you’re not hurting them.

#artagan #the traveler #jester lavorre #fjord #beauregard lionett #caleb widogast #veth brenatto #the mighty nein #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #thane watches critical role #long post

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mithrilwren · 4 years

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Here we go, the cadwulf that wouldn’t let me sleep in this morning. How did this ship happen to me so quickly, and why did my brain decide it needed to be poetic... these are questions that may never be answered.

[Also on Ao3!]

“You don’t like meat, and you don’t like drink.” Eodwulf grins, arms uncrossing. “Is there anything you do like?”

“Well,” says Caduceus.

Eodwulf’s fingers brush the edge of his hair.

“Well?”

And Caduceus never finishes the thought.

---

It turns out they can be persuaded - Astrid, and Eodwulf. Though it’s really Astrid who accepts their second invitation. Eodwulf’s eyes flicker to her before agreeing, and Caduceus notices, as he did the night of the dinner. A hierarchy, it seems, wherein Trent is lord, and Astrid advisor - which leaves Eodwulf a vassal of some sort. Not unacknowledged, but lower down.

Still, when Astrid has drifted to the bar and Caleb and Jester follow, and Fjord and Veth ply Eodwulf for one more round, he has no one to look to for guidance. Caduceus might have expected him to seem lost, except he flourishes under the inattention, growing bolder, more boastful - challenging Yasha to a test of strength, and losing, but only just - and Caduceus’s own attention grows, as bulky muscle strains beneath fine black velvet.

(Tonight, it was Eodwulf who pulled back his chair. “A favour for a favour,” he’d said with a wink, and Caduceus would not have blushed, only it’s strange - nobody’s paid him the courtesy before.

But Eodwulf’s dark eyes were shining with mirth, and he’d blinked his own brighter ones, and taken a seat without a single word of protest.)

The evening is spent in distraction. Eodwulf and Astrid, from their lives of solitude and scrambling; the Mighty Nein, from the next long road ahead; and Caduceus, from his good senses. It’s an indulgence, to pretend that Eodwulf’s attentions to him are anything beyond a man who appreciates a like sense of humour. But Caduceus pretends nonetheless, and grows freer by measures, enjoying the warmth of good natured teasing as much as any liquor flush.

Flirting, he’s tried before, but it never seemed to hit the mark, and his own eyes flicker to Fjord, and Caduceus brings them forcefully back to Eodwulf’s hands on the table - now rough there, now soft another place - one slapping for another drink, the other calling Caduceus over - and Melora help him, he goes.

For the wine of attention is sweet, and sticky red on Eodwulf’s lips, and he thinks he should be allowed to taste it, while he has the chance.

Surely, by now, he’s earned that much.

---

Caduceus is not a man quick to anger. If pressed, he would say he hates nothing at all.

But he hates-

He hates Trent Ikithon.

He hates what he’s done to Caleb, and what he continues to do to the people in his care, and he hates that his lies are not lies in a way Caduceus can discern with a keen eye and a careful glance. They are written in the bone, in the flesh. The body is so corrupted it can no longer tell rot from flower, nor truth from falsehood.

There is no saving this man.

But there may be hope for the others.

Righteous rebellion is the name he gives to the fluttering in his stomach, as they draw Eodwulf - Astrid as well - closer into their circle. A big ol’ middle finger to Trent, as Beau would say. To save someone who sees no way out, from under the nose of a being of impossible strength-

He’s done it before.

So, too, he names the fluttering excitement, and anticipation. Even remembrance, of the way Fjord looked at him, the day he’d given him the Wildmother’s symbol, and Caduceus had almost thought-

But no, he’d thought wrong.

And here he is, ready to make the same mistakes again.

Eodwulf looks at him from across the table. Astrid is down the way, but he never once glances her direction as he asks, “Something not agreeing with you?”

It’s care, in a gruff sort of sense. His deep voice rumbles through Caduceus’s chest, in the way he knows his own does for other people. Yasha sometimes says that it helps her sleep, so he’ll talk the night away, telling nonsense stories until they both drift off.

What would it be like, to curl up in those arms, be held close to that impossibly broad chest? To be small, and large as well - as much as he needs, in whatever direction?

He pushes the thought away.

(Sometimes, he tires of being the one who has to know where the lines are.)

Eodwulf taps his fingers on the table, still looking at him thoughtfully. “I could use some air,” he says, and raises an eyebrow. Caduceus nods, unable to break Eodwulf’s steady gaze, because try as he might, the thought keeps returning, again and again.

They leave together, slipping out into the Rexxentrum night, and the rational part of Caduceus’s mind cries danger, to be separated from his party and alone in the company of their enemy’s servant, and the lonely part cries he wants you, he wants you, in a reckless, unquenchable clamour.

“I know a place,” Eodwulf says, “where it’s a little quiet,” and Caduceus knows the words, and the words beneath. He is not so young, so naive, to miss the subtleties of Eodwulf’s speech.

‘A little quiet’ means to be alone. And to be alone is…

He half expects to be led off to some back alley out of Jester’s tales - for murder or something else, who can say - but the streets Eodwulf takes him by are wide and well-lit. Caduceus’s foreign clothes are noticeable even in the dead of night, and people stop to stare as they pass by, eyes drifting over Eodwulf like a shadow to land on him. His hair, his height, his dress - all abnormalities perused and catalogued, before people resume their nighttime strolls.

It’s not unusual, nor particularly bothersome, to be watched. But one older gentleman stares a little too long, and doesn’t stop staring even after Caduceus dips his head in friendly greeting, and something in the air changes. A hand reaches out and grips Caduceus’s arm, drawing him back into the centre of the street. Eodwulf appears suddenly - though he was always there, Caduceus remembers. It’s just that his presence wasn’t felt, until now.

It must take practice, for a man the size of Eodwulf to disappear. Through magic, Caduceus can manage the same, but it’s more of a reflex - the trigger is fear, and the duration beyond his control. But Eodwulf becomes a shadow, then a looming gargoyle of a man, then a shadow once more, and all of it is done with intention. He doesn’t doubt that the watcher would be dead before Caduceus could blink, if that’s what Eodwulf decided to do.

He grins at Caduceus as the man scurries away, and Caduceus returns the smile faintly, and wonders, who have I let myself follow into the dark?

He finds he knows the answer, and it doesn’t frighten him like it should.

The fluttering returns, moth wings between his ribs beating in time with Eodwulf’s heavy steps - loud and obvious, like they weren’t before. Like a war drum, their march is a warning for anyone else who might darken their path.

See, this is my street to walk. See, this person is under my protection. Hear me, and stay back.

They come at last to their destination: a little park with scattered trees, at the centre of which sits a stone building. Its sides are carved with olive branches and vines, and its doors are shut, and the coldness of death seeps from every crevice, and mingles with the dewy scent of grass and yesterday’s rain.

Eodwulf leads him to a bench, and they sit side by side, listening to the breeze in the leaves, not speaking, though Caduceus still has many things to say. He wants to ask where they are. He wants to know if Eodwulf talked to one of his friends about him, and if that’s the reason he brought him to a mausoleum, instead of some sweeter daytime sight.

He silently wonders if they both feel at home in a graveyard, and if there has ever been anyone else, who looked at one with the same reverence as him.

“It’s quiet here,” Eodwulf answers, as though he had asked, and Caduceus nods.

“It is,” he agrees. There’s nothing more that needs to be said on the matter, and somehow they both know it, without needing words. Eodwulf crosses his arms over his chest and leans back, tipping his head to stare at the stars above, and Caduceus tries to mimic him, but the bench isn’t meant for a person of his stature, and he ends up sitting straight again.

“So,” Eodwulf says, casual enough to tell Caduceus the conversation is about to become anything but. “So, you came.”

“I did,” Caduceus answers, and his voice is steady, but a smile doesn’t find his lips. Eodwulf turns his head, shifting, until the meat of his shoulders is facing Caduceus.

“I’m glad.” The twinkle in his eye is still there, and his lips hold the smile that Caduceus lost, as he shifts again, bringing their knees together. Caduceus swallows. “I thought you looked bored in there.”

“I don’t mind a tavern… but I also don’t drink,” Caduceus answers noncommittally. “So it does get a little dull at times.”

Eodwulf huffs a laugh, and sits back up. “You don’t like meat, and you don’t like drink.” His smile becomes a grin, his arms uncrossing, and Caduceus follows their movement with his eyes, mouth dry as kindling. “Is there anything you do like?”

“Well,” he says, with nothing to come after it. The moth in his chest beats its protest against the silence.

There’s a line here - a line, that he’s meant to keep track of. That he’s not meant to-

“Well?”

And then again, there are fingers in his hair, and then again, there’s a mouth close to his, and warm breath, rich with ale and bread and earthy things, and then again, Eodwulf is confident, and his grin is sure, and maybe-

He doesn’t need to be the only one who knows where the lines are.

Caduceus meets him halfway, and then lets himself be pulled closer, and closer, as fingers tangle in his hair, and broad arms encircle his back. He opens his mouth, and Eodwulf follows, and the wine is sharp on his tongue, for being the first he’s tasted. But the flavour changes, the longer he drinks.

No longer startling in its newness, the feeling melts down to something softer.

A new taste: heavy, and warm, and sweet.

#critical role #cr spoilers #cadwulf #my writing #this is barely edited but i had so much fun

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princessamericachavez · 3 years

Text

Fuck it. Today I get to be self-indulgent and tell you about the entire Fjorester Hallmark Christmas Fanfic that is way too long for me to write these days but I have entirely laid down in my head so instead I’m going to write about it as a bulletpoint fic.... sort of... you’ll get the grasp. Just strap along for the ride.

(This is obvious and shamelessly based on Tis The Damn Season by Taylor Swift, you can fight me. I said it was self-indulgent)

Okay, so first of all, the group are all friends and knew each other all through college, right?

Jester studied psychology (she’s an emotional healer, you know?) and especialices in art therapy.

Fjord did a marine biology major with an acting minor, because deep down he’s a theater nerd but doesn’t dare admit it because he needs to want a “real” career, you know? Also, he paid for his studies with a full swimming team scholarship.

I legit don’t know what everyone else studied —this is the kinda stuff I would figure out while actually writing the fic— so you get to fill those blanks!

ANYWAY, basically during college Jester had this art teacher, Artagan, who she became weirdly friendly with (you sometimes become friends with your college teachers, they aren’t even that much older than you and half the time are just as tired)

So this art teacher is delighted by her, right? Keeps telling her how talented an artist she is and how she should definitely come with him to LA after this year is over. He’ll get her into a gallery! She’ll be famous and amazing!

So Jester goes. And her heart aches. And maybe leaving her mama is so damn hard. And maybe, maybe, she doesn’t want to say goodbye to Fjord but she’s been in love with him for so so so long and he never seemed to see her in that way, so she can’t put her life on pause for him. She can’t. Even if the night before she leaves it looks like he’s trying to tell her something, to half confess something that he never quite does say out loud and her heart falls and she leaves.

ANYWAY here is where our story begins.

Jester comes back for christmas after six months away and she is EXCITED to be home!

(maybe a little too much, maybe things aren’t going as great in LA as she expected) (and mayyyybe she’s a little nervous to see a certain someone but it’s ok)

Fjord picks her up at the airport. He knows her mama doesn’t like going out much and he really, really, really insists that it’s no big deal. His car is old and shitty and there was an incident once that made Jester start calling it “The Ball Eater” to Fjord’s endless dismay (and bemusement).

Anyway the ride home is light hearted, they make small talk and laugh about old times and Jester talks so much about how amazing everything in LA is but Fjord can’t shake the feeling that something about her, despite her smile, seems sad.

He also can’t help the desire to hold her hand, or kiss her, or at the very least confess how uselessly in love he’s been with her for years, but she’s only here for like four days because she needs to go back to LA for her big New Years gallery show that Artagan put together and he can’t ask much from her without getting in the way of her dreams, so he doesn’t.

So they get home and Marion is as delightful as ever and Jester finds out that Fjord has been helping her fix some things around the house (oh so you’re a very handy man, Fjord! *wiggles eyebrows*) and he’s been buying her groceries because he knows Jester used to do it because Marion is always so busy performing at the Chateau (and doing other things for her fancier clients, but Fjord would rather not bring that subject up too often) and he just thought it would be important for someone to look after her from time to time.

Jester has to choke back tears because she is so moved that he is so wonderful with her mama even when she’s gone. Her heart flutters and it’s terrifying.

So Fjord leaves and Jester and her mama spend the whole afternoon together, catching up and baking cupcakes and watching christmas movies until Marion has to go to work.

Meanwhile, Fjord is trying to figure out what to do with himself and with Jester —nothing, he decides, he shouldn’t really say anything— and keeps pacing around his apartment to the endless bemusement of his roomate.

Caduceus was MEANT to go home for the holidays, but there was some kind of change of plans with his family at the last minute (or so he says, he hasn’t been very forthcoming about it and Fjord suspects they might have had an argument or something or maybe Cad just decided not to go home, but how is he supposed to know? He never knew the first thing about families) so now Caduceus is here and for the first time in his life Fjord is not spending Christmas alone.

Caduceus suggests honesty is the best course of action, that he should just tell Jester how he feels. Yeah. Right.

Anywayyy

Jester gets together with the rest of her friends “The Nein” they call each other, though they have never been nine, just to mess with people who keep asking and getting weirder and weirder answers. They get some drinks.

While Fjord is away getting drinks, Beau mentions what a shitty year she’s had and Jester’s brow furrows and Beau says it was just a lot of shit, you know? Vandran just up and leaving town, handing in his thesis (though his tutor, Mrs. Melora was delightful and supportive). She doesn’t mention how depressed Fjord was over Jester leaving, though, but she does say that the cherry on top was his fucking ex showing up again.

“Avantika came back?!”

Jester’s chest twists with the painful memory of jealousy and anger and worry over how unhealthy the whole thing was and how sick and sleepless and exhausted and sad Fjord seemed though the entire relationship before he finally gathered the courage to break things up.

Veth knows that, so she brushes it off with a quick “it’s fine, he told her to go fuck herself” and Jester feels maybe a little better —even though she totally has no right because she and Fjord aren’t a thing and he can do whatever he wants ok? she totally doesn’t care, totally.

Still, maybe, on the way back home she asks if he’s okay and she’s so worried and hesitant and Fjord just melts and assures her he’s alright, that he already knew when Avantika came back that she was not what he wanted, that he deserved more... that he wanted more... and he’s so earnest and breathless that Jester thinks he might really be in love with someone else, then... it doesn’t occur to her that all he can think about is kissing her in that moment, parked outside her mama’s house.

The porch’s front light turns on, the moment passes, they say goodbye.

Fjord comes over on the 24th to hang out. Apparently, Caduceus is a little bit more homesick than he is willing to admit and decided to unload all of his Cain Instincts on Fjord. Jester is delighted by the idea of Cad secretly being a prankster, but she lets Fjord hide out with her and her mama as they decorate the house (Marion didn’t have time to before between shifts) and make cookies and watch movies.

And it’s so easy, so sweet and comfortable, that Jester can’t help but feel like this is what life is meant to be, she can’t help but fantasize about what things could have been like...

Fjord finally asks what’s wrong. She tries to dodge the question first, assuring him she’s alright, but Fjord has known Jester long enough to figure out that something is weighing on her and he insists that she can tell him anything.

Jester finally breaks and admits LA isn’t everything she dreamed. It’s pretty great, sure, and she got a job as an art therapist in a nearby clinic and the gallery is going to be great and fun but she feels so lonely, she’s tried to make new friends but everyone is too busy or stuck on their own road to success to really get to know them, she misses the Nein, she misses her mama, she misses her home and Fjord. Besides, Artagan has been so busy with planing the gallery (and all of the other cool artists he has been collecting to showcase there and she didn’t know about before) and he’s just not as focused on being her artistic mentor has before. It’s just a lot.

And Fjord listens and nods and assures her that she’s brilliant and amazing and she will be alright, but she can always come back home if she wants (god, he wishes she would return).

instead, Jester says he should come to LA because they used to talk about this, about both going there and trying their luck as artists. “You are such an amazing actor, Fjord!” She insists but Fjord is too anxious. Dreams don’t pay the bills. He can’t just drop everything just to follow a dream... just to follow her.

It gets quiet after that.

On the way out, Marion overhears that Fjord is planing to spend christmas alone with Cad on their apartment and insists they should come over for diner instead.

Jester is delighted! It’s usually just her and her mama (who usually has to leave early because she works christmas night at the hotel) but now Cad and Fjord can come too! And the others should too! Beau and Yasha are here alone too and Veth can bring Yeza and Luke and Caleb will definitely want to spend it here instead of the library right?

So the Nein end up all invited to Jester’s christmas party.

Which, of course, means they HAVE to do a secret santa.

Jester gets Caleb, so she enlists Veth and Beau to go shopping for his gift to make it extra especial.

While they are out doing chores, Caleb texts Jester and asks if he could talk to her later that afternoon. She wonders out loud why that would be and Veth blurts out: “he’s probably finally gonna tell you he’s in love with you”

And Jester would brush it off with a flirty joke if it wasn’t by the way Beau slaps the back of Veth’s head and tells her “you said you wouldn’t tell on him!”

So Jester is shocked and confused and thrown off balance because she never even considered Caleb like that. Does Caleb like her? Is he in love with her? Is she supposed to know that? To like him back? Oh no, he’s going to tell her this afternoon isn’t he?

And she has to give him a christmas gift for the secret santa!

Caos and overthinking ensue and finally Jester buys Caleb a big thick book he’d been eyeing for a while but that he’d deemed too expensive to get and a very long scarf with lots of tiny cats and there’s nothing romantic about it but she’s still worried about it.

So, either way, Caleb and Jester meet up for a late coffee (Caleb is basically immune to caffeine at this point so it’s fine and Jester only drinks hot coco so it’s alright).

And Jester jumps the gun, she goes on and on and on about how she had no idea and she’s so sorry and she’s not sure about how to feel with this but she doesn’t want to hurt Caleb because he’s such a good friend and she really does care about him a lot but-

Caleb cuts her off with a laugh. He already knew she’s not in love with him, which is why he never brought the subject up. He’s fine, he’s moved on.

Oh?

Actually, he wanted to talk with her because he is seeing someone else (ESSEK) and he wanted to know if it would be alright to bring him over for christmas tomorrow. He thinks he’s ready to introduce them to his friends and a party seems like a good idea.

Jester is delighted again and assures him he totally can come and not to worry about the extra space or work or food because Caduceus and Fjord promised to come help her prepare everything for the party.

She grabs his hands and assures him with a bright smile that she’s incredibly happy for him and hopes this is the good kinda love that makes him feel warm and fuzzy and smile. And Caleb blushes and nods and mumbles that maybe it is.

CUT TO: Fjord is totally accidentally watching this from outside the coffeeshop because he was out buying gifts too (for his secret friend, Beau, a dope set of weights... and for Jester, a tiny unicorn that he just saw and had to get for her because he knew it would make her so happy).

Either way, as you can imagine, what Fjord sees is easily misunderstood.

Cue: heartbreak.

Which gets us to christmas morning filled with excitement and presents and hugs.

Fjord and Caduceus come over to help the Lavorre women cook (Fjord feels a little responsible over turning their little yearly diner into a fully blown party because he mentioned they were spending it alone at home).

And Fjord is sad. He isn’t angry, or rude, or jealous... okay, maybe a little jealous, but mostly he’s just heart-broken and Jester can tell something is off, but Fjord makes an effort to smile and pretend like everything is fine and –wow, whoever he is in love with (that person he said he now new he wanted) might have broken his heart and Jester is so confused and at a lost.

Anyway, it’s Caduceus who finally has enough of the mopping around and pulls Fjord aside to figure out what’s wrong and Fjord just blurts everything out: Jester and the feelings and the almost kiss in his car and the hanging out and the stupid little unicorn he has back at home and now doesn’t dare give her and Jester holding Caleb’s hands and how stupid he feels and how he had no right to feel that way anyway...

Cad lets him ramble and in the end just sighs and puts a hand on his shoulder and says: you should give her the gift. Did you get it so she would love you? Did you get it to get something in return?

No, Fjord says, he just wanted to make her happy.

Well, it will still make her happy, right? Isn’t that what you want?

And Fjord nods despite the hurt and Cad thinks he is so clever because of course he knows that Jester is in love with Fjord and that Caleb has moved on but he figures his roommate needs to figure it out himself this time.

And so, the party comes.

They do the secret santa early, because everyone is too chaotic and excited to wait to figure out what gifts they will get and they all want their friends to see the awesome gifts they got them already.

Fjord nearly bites through his cheek while he sees Jester give Caleb her secret santa gift.

Yasha gives Jester a beautiful dress, dark but artistic, that everyone insists she must try on and model for them at once because the world really hates Fjord and wants to make him blush and squirm as much as possible over the girl of his dreams.

Caduceus gets Fjord an amazing movie collection with all the western classics he loves and it’s probably one of the nicest gifts he’s ever gotten.

The tiny unicorn weights like a fucking ton inside Fjord’s pocket through most of the night. He convinces himself that he can’t give it to Jester, it would be overstepping. If she loves someone else, he needs to respect that.

And then Essek shows up, and Fjord understands many things at once, and he’s so stupid he wants to laugh and hit himself at the same time.

And yeah, just because Jester isn’t in love with someone else it doesn’t mean that she will like him now... of course not... but he feels a little bit less like a terrible friend and person for wanting her to.

He pulls her out to the porch with some dumb excuse and after a lot of awkward small talk he finally brings out the tiny unicorn.

Jester is delighted. What? Why? When? And Fjord just tells her the truth, that he saw it and thought of her and how happy it would make her and he had to...

So Jester kisses his cheek and he blushes furiously and just as the moment is about to die down Veth shouts from inside that someone hid a lot of mistletoe around the house and that she is not kissing any of her friends thank you very much.

So the two of them look up just in time to see GUESS WHAT hanging over their heads. Because of course.

Blushing. Awkwardness. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t- I mean if you- I mean I do- Do you? Yeah. Wait. Really? I mean, do you want to? Y-yes!

They kiss.

And it’s quick and shy and not really a big romantic kiss, barely a peck between two friends terrified of fucking everything up.

The night goes on and neither of them can stop thinking about it... but other than that, it’s just a fun party.

Fjord doesn’t sleep much, he’s up early and pacing around the house until he decides he needs to try that again. Just once more. One more kiss. And maybe then... and, yes, she will leave, but maybe one more kiss wouldn’t be so terrible before that?

So Fjord runs. He runs over to her home, heart in his throat.

He knocks on the door, rushed and breathless... and finds Marion looking sad.

Jester got a call that very morning saying Artagan needed her ASAP back in LA because the gallery is apparently a mess and he needs her help to organize the big night.

Fjord does his best to cheer Marion up but he also knows, he knows, how upset Jester must have been to lose the last few days home.

Meanwhile, Jester is doing her best to help Artagan (after finding out her mentor might be an amazingly talented artist but a terrible event organizer) and basically runs herself thin, going crazy and barely sleeping for a couple days.

Two days before the big exhibit everything is still a mess and it’s too much for her to handle alone... and then the Nein arrive.

What are you doing here? What is going on? How are you here?

And they just shrug and smile and say they missed her and ‘hey, do you need a little help with that?’ and before she knows it everyone is helping her up and putting together everything that’d been falling apart.

Beau basically intimidates the catering service into actually delivering on time by reviewing their contract and finding how much money they could lose if they don’t. Yasha, turns out, has a fantastic eye for art and helps pick where and how each piece should be hanged. Veth goes nuts with the decoration, making it way fancier than anyone expected this little art show to be —she demands black tie for everyone who is coming, too. Caleb and Essek result amazing with lights and music and manage got connect the whole audio system by some sort of magical miracle because it hasn’t worked properly since the 8s. Caduceus and Fjord offer to serve drinks when the barman calls in sick.

In the end, after a few hectic days, it all works out.

Jester finds out from Beau that Fjord basically knocked on their doors as soon as he found out she had to come back and talked everyone into coming and drove all the way here in his cheap shitty Ball Eater car (it broke down halfway through and Fjord and Caleb had to fix it themselves which is also why it took them two whole days to get to LA).

The night of the gallery everything is perfect and beautiful and Jester could cry because she has the best friends in the world —but, really, she could cry because she’s missed them so much and having them here with her has made LA seem like a true city of stars again.

And so, she takes a moment in between smiling and shaking hands and posing for pictures with Artagan (who is sort of taking all the credit for their work but it’s alright because he’s already hooked her and two others up with a bunch of interested agents and it seems like he really just wants to help this small artists have their big break) and Jester steps outside to take some air.

Fjord follows.

And she starts to thank him, earnestly, for all his help and support and she has no idea how she could’ve done any of this without them —without him. She can’t believe he followed her all the way here (as if Fjord has done anything else since the day they met on their college’s induction day... he always follows her)

Fjord, a little coyly, says that he could pay her back by lending him a couch while he looks for a place... and that’s how Jester finds out Fjord’s moving to the city to try and pursue acting.

“Job hunting wasn’t going too well either, so I figured I might as well give my dreams a chance... I would also really like to be closer to you,” he admits, in a moment of boldness.

And Jester understands. Finally. She sees what she was too afraid of admitting to herself out of fear of heartbreak and disappointment.

“I can lend you a couch,” she smiles, playfully, “but it will cost you... a movie, maybe diner later”

And his eyes sparkle as he steps closer and says, “I think I can manage that” and he asks if he can kiss her, following a hunch, and she nods.

Just as everyone shouts HAPPY NEW YEAR inside the building.

THE END

ok that’s all, i cannot bring myself to actually write this multichapter, but I hope anyone who is still here after ALL THAT enjoyed the ride.

Happy holidays!!

#fjorester #fjord stone #jester lavorre #critical role #critter fic #fanfic #sofia's nonsense

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angelsndragons · 3 years

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something something but i just need to get my thoughts down about kingsley bc i’m seeing a lot of anger and i don’t really get it.

taliesin specifically worded the divine intervention as “whoever it was, just put it back. i think they’ve earned it, put it back.” he also mentioned at the end of 140 that part of his thought process on doing the divine intervention in the first place that he would get to determine what happened to the person who came back.

see, here’s the thing. matt and taliesin have specifically, across the campaign, built and treated people as separate from souls. the campaign has treated who a person is as the combination of the choices they make and the memories they have, separate from their souls. we can see that when caduceus talks about speak with dead, the cadavers retain their personality and memories but the soul itself is gone. we see that with molly and lucien, how lucien can’t remember molly’s experiences, how molly can’t remember his. the closest either gets is the muscle memory of the body and vague impressions. we see this in the themes of caduceus’ character, how mortals make choices and those choices inform the fates the gods would have for them. matt specifically created the hollow one status for this campaign and left a lot of room for players to determine what specifically their characters retain after coming back “unnaturally.”

and honestly, i think that is the crux of what happened in universe. molly wasn’t supposed to exist; lucien didn’t come back “correctly” the first time. this resulted in molly. he came back without the memories and choices that lucien made. and while i firmly believe that molly’s soul became whole enough over the two years he lived to be resurrected, he didn’t come back correctly the second time either. matt rolled a natural 1 on that die. he wasn’t brought back with a resurrection spell, he was brought back through literal divine intervention. in universe, those two facts are enough justification for taliesin to say that the soul gets a second chance but the personality? not so much.

the soul that was returned was that of mollymauk. kingsley is the personality, who may one day grow his own little soul from the fragment, the sum of the choices and circumstances he found himself in. he has the vague impressions and muscle memory from molly and lucien- he can juggle, he recognizes yasha as important, he knows what things are even if he can’t explain where he learned them or remember them. kingsley will probably create his own soul from the piece that is molly and molly will rest in peace. or kingsley is who molly would have been without the circus and with the nein.

as for the woman in red he kind of remembers, i’m personally wondering if she was raei the everlight. i know some people think that if she was real, she’s probably sehanine, cree, or some other person that molly met in life. i don’t think sehanine is correct because she’s most closely associated with blue skin and white hair, though the guide specifically mentions she is a master of illusion. the woman doesn’t fit melora, either, her colors are green and red hair. cree might be a possibility if we think he saw her in her cape of the mountebank. but i personally think raei is the woman: red is one of her primary colors, she is described as beautiful and angelic, with white wings. her domain is compassion and atonement; she is the light in the darkest places. kingsley remembers darkness and void then a garden and light and the grove. raei is a goddess of light and second chances. she is also the goddess pike, ashley’s campaign 1 character, follows and has brought back to the world. i dunno, i just like it.

#cr spoilers #kingsley tealeaf #mollymauk tealeaf #cr campaign 2 #mighty nein #speculation

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sociallyawkwardfoxwriter · 3 years

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Widofjord: Fjord has gotten the shovel talk from Beau, Veth, Astrid, Eadwuld, hell even YEZA. Fjord was not expecting to get a shovel talk from Luc....LUC. He's happy, proud that everyone is so protective of Caleb. He deserves it. But damn, He's kind of wondering if anyone has given Caleb the shovel talk. He doesn't really like the idea of anyone threatening Caleb but he wouldn't mind if someone was kind of protective of him aside from Caleb.

Luc, the most terrifying of them all. Poor Fjord.

Enjoy!

"What's wrong, liebling?" As he finished braiding his damp hair, Caleb dipped down to drop a kiss on his temple. "You have been a bit down all evening. If there's something I can do to help, all you need to do is say so."

"It's nothing. It's stupid."

"If it's bothering you, it's not stupid. Talk to me."

"It's really nothing worth talking about."

With a frown, Caleb settled himself across Fjord's thighs and wrapped his arms around his neck to gently massage the base of his skull. "That is not going to work on me. You're not obligated to talk to me about it, but you don't have to lie. I won't be offended if you don't want to talk to me about it."

"It's going to sound childish."

"When has that ever stopped you before?" The laugh that bubbled out of Caleb when he gave him a light pinch on the side brought a smile to his face. "I'm joking. I'm sure it's not childish."

"It's very childish, but..."

"Ja?"

"Did you overhear Luc earlier?"

"When he talked to you?"

"Yes."

"No, he wanted to talk to you in private."

Fjord let out a heavy sigh that earned him a gentle crass along the jaw where Caleb left his hand. "He wanted to let me know that he would be helping his mother and father if I hurt you."

"He gave you a shovel talk?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he did." Even though he tried to hold it back, a bit of a laugh slipped through Caleb's lips. "Shut up."

"You know he only did it because his parents did. He's just a kid."

"A kid with a crossbow."

"Are you scared that Luc is going to shoot you?"

"No... Maybe a little, but not because of the talk we had."

"Then what has you so upset?"

After a moment of quiet, he let his head drop forward to rest their foreheads together. "You know I don't like people threatening you. We both know you've been through enough of that already. I just... I can't help wondering. Has anyone talked to you about me?"

"Oh, liebling." The thumb resting on his cheek gently brushed across his skin as Caleb tilted his head to give him a soft kiss. "Of course. You really think Jester didn't give me her own special brand of properly take care of Fjord? Or, that your first mate didn't use a drinking game as a way to make sure I knew she supports both of us and there'd be hell to pay if I hurt you on purpose. You also have a god on your side, which honestly is a little unfair."

"Melora wouldn't do anything to you."

"I would not be so sure of that."

"Well, now I feel like an asshole."

Caleb pressed another kiss to his lips, then pulled back with a smile. "I have a child threatening you with a toy crossbow. I think we are even."

"I'm not sure I would put a five-year-old on the same level as a god."

"You will eat those words."

"No, I won't because he'll never have any reason to attack me."

"That is some wishful thinking. He doesn't need a reason to attack you. He does it for fun."

"That's not ominous at all."

"You'll be fine. Probably."

#masked-prompter #critical role #widofjord #fjord #caleb widogast #emotional hurt/comfort #fluff #prompt fill #fanfic

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c-is-for-circinate · 4 years

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Y’all this episode had everything I could possibly have wanted and things I never even knew to wish for.

How did one episode start with Henry Crabgrass, the most glorious and beloved NPC of my heart, and end with mother fucking Avantika, with so much awesome shit in between!!! How!!!

Okay I am making a list of shit I absolutely loved tonight, in approximate chronological order:

Y’all I just love Henry Crabgrass so much. I don’t even have smart things to say about that fact, just a warm glow in my heart. May all the light of Melora’s grace smile down upon them and leave Henry as the toughest, most unkillable patch of crabgrass in all Exandria.

Vess and the Tombtakers, so many questions and so few certain answers, so many things to wonder, so many dots to connect! I really do feel like the crew are connecting them at this point, and while I’m sure in some places they’re far from the map, the general outline really is starting to emerge. What, exactly, was in the book the Tombtakers tried to claim without showing it to Vess deRogna first? What did it do to Lucien? And, if Vess has the book--what are they trying to find now?

So okay, let’s talk about Yasha and Beau. As someone who has had a lot of feelings about the intense relatability of Beau’s crush on Jester, I have now fully committed to also having a whole lot of mostly new feelings about these terrible awkward disaster lesbians with no fucking idea what they’re doing. I saw a post the other day mention how this whole relationship is about the feeling of discovering you can have this, that you can actually be happy, that you get to have this kind of relationship with someone. I’ve written about that. And I feel it so, so hard, every time I see them interact, when every bit of bravado leaves both of them. It’s so easy to be off-putting! It’s so easy to have crushes on wonderful people you kind of wish would look at you but you’re absolutely sure never will. It’s so hard to actually know what the fuck to do in the face of wait shit this might actually be a thing I could get for real? how? wait, how???

Also let’s talk about Jester in that scene, who ships Beauyasha harder than anything in the world??? Because yes, right, some of it is just that Jester loves romance, and some of it’s that Jester gets very invested in the happiness of her friends, but that is a lot of investment there. And I can’t help wondering if there’s a little dimension of...she wants to see True Love and Happily-Ever-After work. And she’s delighted to see it work for her friends who she loves, and when it comes true they’ll be happy and she loves that, but also I don’t know that Jester’s ever actually seen two people fall in love with each other and enter into a healthy, happy relationship before. But hey, all of her books say this wonderful magical thing exists, and now it seems to actually be showing up for her friends? Of course she wants to see it. Of course she wants it to be just as magical and wonderful as in all her stories, even if it’s not for her. (And maybe especially if it’s not for her, but I think that’s a whole separate post about Jester and her very high passive insight and all the people who are in love with her and the very specific ways she treats each of them.)

I love Yeza. Don’t we all love Yeza? He’s trying so hard. It’s always great to see Yeza for that kind of wide-eyed outsider POV on the M9 shenanigans, and I love it. He made a comment this episode about meeting goblins while living in Rosohna, and everything that’s happened to him really hit me in a while new way. Usually I think about how he’s had his life turned upside down by all of this, but man, just think how much he’s seen that he never in a million years would have begun to expect to experience! This smalltown alchemist from a pastoral little farming city in the middle of the Dwendalian midwest has lived for a significant amount of time as a housekeeper in the capitol city of the Krynn Dynasty. He must have gone to the markets and met the neighbors and learned the streets and the food, and who had he ever known in his whole life who could say such a thing? He lived with the Ruby of the Sea in Nicodranas by the ocean. He’s been to Zadash, now, and it’s only a matter of time before he sees Rexxentrum. How much farther will he go? (Man, I would love some good Yeza fic once this campaign is over. I think it’s going to take that long for me to really know how his story arc ends.)

Someone was posting earlier this episode about witnessing Vess scare Yeza so badly, and insight into how the Nein are starting to run in circles that really outstrip the people they used to know. Watching Pumat in the wake of being Informed By Lady de Rogna That He Would Put A Rush On That has really hammered it home. They remarked, in their very M9 somewhat idle vaguely ridiculous way that they wanted the icebreaker, and one tiny snowman later Vess had pulled rank and money and rerouted the ship’s entire passage for them. She’s scary--and with her, the M9 have the kind of power that’s scary, too. And that’s always such an interesting moment. The M9 are used to thinking of themselves as people with very little, who have to fight and scrap and get lucky for their own survival all the time. And yes, they’re utterly careless with money--why not be, when it comes and goes and almost none of them have ever really seen it help or last? And yes, they’re prone to violence and sometimes pretty rude. But before now, it’s always been a situation where the M9 acting loud, rude, and demanding could be chaotic underdogs scrapping to get what they needed or wanted from people who had the option of saying no. Suddenly they’re in a position where the balance of social situations is biased in their favor instead of against them. There’s such a difference between ‘please accede to my unreasonable request because I have a high charisma and will pay you lots of gold’, and, ‘you’re going to accede to my unreasonable request because otherwise my Cerberus Assembly boss may or may not have you assassinated’. The M9 have never been on this side of that before. I’m very curious to see how much they notice that they are now.

PALADIN OATH PALADIN OATH PALADIN OATH! I was not paying nearly enough attention when that scene started, so I am going to need to watch it again and also make extra sure to read any available source material on this specific homebrew oath, because it’s probably not exactly the same as the Oath of the Sea homebrew you can find on google. There’s some overlap between the abilities there and the ones Fjord already have, and the vows don’t quite match up, though some of them are close. Ugh, mostly I’m just so glad it has happened and Fjord has promised and he means it, he means it so much. He rest-of-his-life means it, and my heart belongs to Fjord who couldn’t even imagine the rest of his life as a thing separate from the monotony of his first thirty years, so very recently.

I actually always really love when CR has episodes at sea? Obviously the M9 have done it the most, but Vox Machina went sailing a time or two as well, and it’s just always so great. It’s often days of down time in a way that overland travel isn’t, and the party fills it with so many good little moments. Matt always gives them such cool encounters. On boats, spending a week at a time getting from one place to another, so much of the chaos of rewriting a plan seventeen times in an hour gets stripped away: they’re headed towards a destination, sometimes something comes up to deter them, and they have to find a way to deal with it. There are always crew members and the structure of a boat itself to take into consideration in any combat that pops up. It’s just such a nice tone, and I also love that the ocean itself kind of hates them now because it adds really delightful additional risks, and anyway heck yeah ocean voyage.

WHICH ENDS IN UNDEAD AVANTIKA ATTACKING THE SHIP WITH A TRIO OF CRAB-MEN AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE HOLY FUCK. Look, I think M9 becoming pirates by accident and then trying to figure out wtf might actually be my favorite arc of this campaign so far, and every time it comes back I get so so happy. I’ve got some feelings about this showing up in the same episode as Fjord finally taking his full oath to the Wildmother. They are going to have to kill U’kotoa before this campaign is through. They are going to have to, because Fjord will never be safe on the ocean again if they don’t, and Fjord has bound himself by vow and will in service as the Wildmother’s paladin of the open sea. She hasn’t asked it of him, not specifically, but it’s his job. It’s going to be his job. In part it’ll be because it’s poetic justice, Fjord taking down the cruel demigod who (in some ways) made him. Mostly it’s just that killing U’kotoa is a job that needs to be done. To protect the oceans, the life they hold, the people who sail upon them, it’s going to need to be done. It’s Melora’s domain to do this, which means it’s her paladin’s job, and Fjord is her paladin of the sea. It’ll be him sooner or later.

I am so fucking delighted at the massive pile of fireworks on the deck of this ship, and I hope to god these Chekhovian bottle rockets go off before the end of this combat encounter, because this is, in fact, all I ever wanted the minute Beau put them in there.

#CR spoilers #episode 112

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vermin-disciple · 3 years

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ok ill bite. galatea

(Random Scenes Ask Meme)

In one of the Interlude chapters in Tell Me You See Me, there's a passage in which Julian reflects on his habit of getting over-invested in certain of his patients:

Ekoria and her unborn child and the incurable blight. Goran’Agar and the tantalizing prospect of freeing the Jem'Hadar from their addiction to Ketracel-white. Odo and the opportunity to defy Section 31. Melora Pazlar, who he’d wanted to love. Jack and Patrick and Lauren and Sarina, and the chance to disprove Federation dogma about augments. And the situation with Sarina Douglas in particular would surely have gotten even more out of hand if Garak had done a better job of masking his jealousy.

(What made that episode even worse was that Miles had been the one to point out Garak’s genuine distress. He’d been so enthralled with Sarina’s progress he hadn’t noticed. Oh, he’d heard a few snide comments, but playacting jealousy was Garak’s idea of foreplay, so he hadn’t paid much attention, and he’d missed the point when the comments stopped, and became something else.)

I wrote the first paragraph, and thought, 'huh, I wonder what the episode Chrysalis looked like in this AU, where Garak and Julian were already together by that point.' Then I scribbled out part of the scene below, and went back and added the parenthetical above. Later I finished the scene, but haven't really decided how I want to use it or expand on it. (There's a lot of flashbacks in this series, so I could use it that way rather than just writing a full Chrysalis AU.)

'Galatea' is a reference to the myth of Pygmalion. In later traditions that was the name of the statue he carved and fell in love with. Note that some of the dialogue below has been borrowed from Chrysalis.

***

“She’s wonderful!” gushed Julian. Next to him, Garak rolled his eyes with such exaggerated exasperation that Miles just managed to hold back a huff of laughter. Julian didn’t notice. (Miles couldn’t have said whether this was deliberate or merely due to inattention.) “I’ve never met anyone like her. She's brilliant, sweet, everything's new to her.”

“Yes, we’re all very impressed with your creation,” said Garak

“I didn’t create her,” said Julian. “I just… brought her out of her cocoon. And now she’s seeing the world for the first time! Being with her is so refreshing. She takes such delight in what she's experiencing. It makes me appreciate things I usually take for granted.”

A cup of coffee materialized in the replicator Miles was in the process of repairing. “Like hot coffee?” he said. When he glanced back, something in Garak’s expression gave him pause. It was a frozen, haunted look that flashed across his face, there for a moment before being suppressed under a mask of careful neutrality. The asperity of a minute ago was gone, and Miles didn’t like the look that replaced it. Julian hadn’t noticed, and this time Miles was quite certain he was genuinely oblivious.

“Like coffee. Music. The way the stars shine.”

Garak failed to supply a caustic remark. Miles turned back the replicator. “What is wrong with this thing?”

“Are you listening to me?” asked Julian.

“Yes. Yeah. Coffee, music, stars,” said Miles, keenly aware of the deafening silence emanating from Garak.

“Well, don't you have anything to say?”

Miles had a great deal to say, including, what the hell do you think you're playing at? and isn’t she still your patient? But he wasn’t sure now was the time, not with Garak hovering around trying not to look stricken.

Miles didn’t particularly like Garak, but they had served together in those long months on the Defiant, and they would continue serving together for the duration of this war. Garak was more or less part of their team. And beyond that, they were also allies on a more personal front, one that revolved around one Julian Bashir.

The war had hit Julian hard. He’d not been himself for months now; he was quieter, withdrawn, brooding and sullen. Miles was concerned, and so was Garak (not that he was capable of saying this outright or in anything approaching a straightforward manner). They were closer to Julian than anyone else on the station, and it wouldn’t do anyone any good if they worked against each other. Instead, they worked on their separate campaigns to bring Julian back to himself. Garak had always had a knack for getting a rise out him.

And while Miles did not think that anyone as morally dodgy as Garak deserved someone as kindhearted as Julian, he did make Julian happy. Moreover, their relationship thus far had proved surprisingly stable. It was the longest romantic relationship Julian had had since he arrived on the station, and the only one built on a foundation of friendship. (Garak had once pointed out, with an unwarranted degree of smugness, that he had liked Julian long before Miles had.)

Sarina seemed a nice enough girl, but Julian hardly knew her. She hardly seemed to know herself.

“What do you want me to say, Julian? She’s a nice girl. I’m glad you were able to help her.”

Julian just seemed exasperated by this response. “I don't think either of you understand what this means to me,” he said. “All these years I've had to hide the fact that my DNA had been resequenced. I'd listen to people talk about the genetically engineered, saying they were all misfits. I used to fantasize about meeting someone who was like me, who could live a normal life. But it never happened. Until Sarina. Don't you see? She’s a person I’ve been waiting for my whole life.”

“I’m sure we’re both very happy for you,” said Garak, flatly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have several new transmissions to decode.”

“See you tonight,” said Julian absently. “Oh, another thing she said to me — what?”

Miles made a point of watching Garak’s retreating back with far more interest than he usually showed. “You’d better go after him and apologize,” he said.

Julian’s brow furrowed in bewilderment. “What? Why?”

“Do you ever listen to the things that come out of your mouth?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Julian, you sound completely infatuated.”

“Huh?” Julian appeared to be mentally reviewing the conversation with mounting horror. “…Oh.” He rubbed his forehead and added, “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“You sure about that?”

“Of course!”

“Because Garak looked like a man who thinks he’s about to get dumped, and I can’t say I blame him.”

Julian groaned. “What should I do?”

“If it were Keiko, this would be a flowers and chocolates kind of apology. I’ve never dated a bloke before, though. Or a Cardassian. You may have to adjust your strategy.”

“Garak likes flowers and chocolate,” said Julian. “What sort of apology would you want?”

“Bottle of single malt,” said Miles, promptly. “But I guess you can substitute kanar.”

“Garak doesn’t think much of the kanar Quark’s got in stock,” said Julian. “I think I’ll stick with chocolates. And maybe a blowjob.”

“Too much information, Julian.”

#ask meme #my fanfic #this be the verse #garashir #vermin rites

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laceyeb · 3 years

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Because I’m determined to be excited about this season of DWTS (and I genuinely am!), I’m going to try to post much more about this season than I did last season and start sharing my opinions now! Starting with the cast thus far of course, with my excitement ranking out of 10 because I do what I want.

Jojo Siwa and Jenna - 1000/10

As soon as I heard about Jojo being with a female pro, I started manifesting Jenna with all my heart and I am sooooo excited!!!! I’m not saying that ANY female pro on this show is even remotely homophobic in any way shape or form because I do NOT believe any of them are. HOWEVER... If I had to pick one female pro who I feel like would be most “onboard,” it would be Jenna. (Or Sharna, but I’d prefer Jojo with Jenna just because Jenna is younger.) If this sentiment/how I expressed it comes off problematic, please let me know because that is absolutely not what I intended and I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. Anyways... I don’t know if I’m anxious, excited, terrified, curious, overjoyed, etc. etc. etc. Perhaps all at once. I can’t wait to see how this goes and how it is received. I’ve already had a small rant about the target demographic of this show, but I’m choosing to be optimistic. I would definitely prefer that they don’t spend the ENTIRE season talking about the ground-breakingness. First episode, yes. Very important, very groundbreaking, etc. Then I’d like this to just be normalized. I don’t want them to be treated any different than any other couple. I just want them to be like everyone else. I don’t expect them to change the entire world, but this is still very very important and I am very very excited. And anxious. (Also not my anxiety acting up when I sent my mom the rumored list so far and her response was “I’m disgusted.” She’s apparently “disgusted” by the fact that there are people on the cast she’s never heard of. As if we haven’t been doing this for 30 seasons now.)

Sunisa Lee and Sasha - 8/10

I did not pay any attention to gymnastics during the Olympics (aside from the general news I stumbled upon on the internets) because all my waking hours were focused on soccer, but she’ll obviously be great. I would not say that Sasha is my favorite pro, but they’ll likely be a great match. I need to find some interviews of her or something to get a sense of her personality. I’m excited though because I’m sure they’ll be fun to watch.

Kenya Moore and Brandon - 2.5/10

I’ve never heard of her, so I have no opinion. I do have a soft spot for Brandon though. Is she like well known? Popular? Likable? Dancingly inclined?

Amanda Kloots and Alan - 6.5/10

You know I love Alan with my whole heart, so that automatically gives them some points. I recognize her name and that’s about all I’ve got for her. In the little bit I see (I’m just using the Kristyn Burtt article for this), she seems very excited to be there. Dream come true and all that. I will always give anyone a chance if they come in with such a good attitude.

Olivia Jade and Val - 5/10

Right in the middle 5/10 for this because I just don’t know what to expect. Like are they going to edit her packages sympathetically or actually sympathetic AND convincing? Do I feel any excitement for her to be in the spotlight like this? Not really. But she might surprise me. Val can really do no wrong, though, at the risk of starting an uprising, I’ve kinda lost interest in him as a pro as of late. No real reason. Just feel like there’s other pros I care more about/am more invested in.

Matt James and Lindsay - 5.5/10

I’m very excited to have Lindsay back, so let’s start there! It feels like it’s been about 27 years since we’ve seen her, despite the fact that she posts about 4 hours of IG stories a day and I happily watch every second. I don’t know a whole lot about Matt aside from the fact that he’s a Bachelor guy. I don’t think I’m exactly thrilled about what little I’ve seen and I don’t know what he’s like personality-wise. But at least Lindsay is back and seems happy so far.

Iman Shumpert and Daniella - 2/10

I’ve never heard of this guy and could not care less about basketball, so I don’t even have a reason to get excited. I’ve got nothing against Daniella at all, we just don’t know her that well yet. Is he well-known/likable/have a likelihood of dancing skills?

Jimmie Allen and Emma - 9/10

I don’t know a great deal about him personality-wise either, but I’m already excited! I love Emma, I love a country singer on DWTS, I love getting to see someone on the show who I already know. Very excited all around! Can he dance? Who knows! But I look forward to finding out! He’s got a few great songs that I absolutely adore and I need to make a playlist! I think they are going to make a good pair and I’m glad he’s with a pro I really like (aka not Cheryl I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Brian and Sharna - 11/10

Sharna. Sharna’s man. Sharna in love. Sharna happy. What else could I possibly ask for?! I wondered if they would partner them together or not. In a non-pandemic world, maybe not. What with married pros living apart from each other for the season, they would have to too if they weren’t partnered together. Not that they deserve any special treatment. But if they don’t HAVE to be apart, why have them be apart you know? It’s going to be really entertaining to watch Sharna post about her “partner” for the next two weeks when we all know it’s him. Believe it or not, I have not followed their relationship really super close and they also don’t post an excessive amount together (which I have no problem with because people are entitled to their privacy and what not), so I’m excited to get to see so much more of them together! If Sharna’s happy, I’m happy. Can he dance do we think?!

Christine Chiu and Pasha - 1/10

Uninterested. No idea who she is and like with Daniella, I just don’t know Pasha enough to get that excited. Again: Is she likable/popular/dance-inclined? Beats me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mel C. And Gleb - 4/10

I like Gleb more than most do, but I’m not obsessed by any means. (I mean, he’s not Sharna.) Nothing against any Spice Girls, but I’m fairly neutral on the whole. She will likely be pretty good and probably fairly popular. I look forward to seeing how she does, but I’m pretty much take it or leave it with them. It’s entirely possible she could be the dark horse I fall in love with by like week 3 and then decide she’s my favorite of the season.

Melora Hardin and Artem - 10/10

I’m VERY excited. I’ve already posted about her a bit, but oh boy I’m excited! I’ve seen exactly ZERO episodes of The Office, but I know her and LOVE her from The Bold Type aka one of my most important Gay Awakenings™️. (There were several...) I love me some Artem and he will be a great match with her as well. She’s definitely going to be one of the older pros this season (though I think she’s in her 50s which is decidedly not OLD old), but I know she has Broadway experience. I would love a week 1 foxtrot to put her solidly in a 3 way tie for third place with 4 7s and then coming in week 2 with like a samba that she absolutely nails (8,7,7,8) to prove she really can do it all. (It’s possible I’ve been watching this show for too damn long.)

Mike Mizanin - 1.5/10

I will not call him “The Miz.” I do not know this man and I do not care. Put him with Cheryl and send them home week 1. Ok wait. I’ll be nice. I definitely know NOTHING about him, but maybe he’s a fun and pleasant person. We’ll see. And if he is, I might entertain the possibility of calling him “The Miz.” (Whenever they have anyone from like WWE, UFC, boxing, or anything like that, I just do not care because I don’t know anything about them. But Paige VanZant was my actual Gay Awakening™️, so I try to keep an open mind.)

#dwts30 #will update when the last ones are announced!

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theassthatquits · 3 years

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Blupjeans Week Day 3 - Crush

The banners seemed to appear overnight, crowding the hallways and bathrooms and doors: “The dance is this Saturday! Ask your crush! It is the Valentine’s Day Dance after all.” Well, maybe they didn’t say all of that, but that was certainly the implication.

Barry was paralyzed with fear.

He had a crush on Lup since they were kids, pretty much starting the day on the playground when she and Taako approached him and declared that they were now Best Friends Forever and he had no choice in the matter. It was the best day of his life.

Lup and Taako had seamlessly folded into his life since then. His mother had taken an immediate liking to them and would make sure they were cared for and had everything they needed as they were moved around from place to place. The twins became a staple at the Bluejeans household, frequently staying days at a time. Barry, Lup, and Taako had become inseparable.

If he told her how he felt it could ruin everything.

“What the fuck is this?” Lup asked, picking up the flyer for the dance that just happened to be on her textbook sitting on the desk.

“What are you talking about now, Lulu?” Taako lazily asked, lounging on his bed filing his nails.

“This flyer for the dance. You put this here, didn’t you?”

Taako sounded bored. “I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.”

Lup groaned in exasperation. “I don’t want to think about Valentine’s Day and romantic dances. I just want to get through this year, graduate, and get the fuck out.”

“You sure you don’t want to ask a particular jeansed man out to the dance?”

Her glare would have struck fear into the heart of any other person but Taako. “I’m not asking Barry. There’s no way he would say yes and then our friendship would be ruined and I’d have to find a new best friend.”

Taako rolled his eyes. The two of them had been doing this for years and it might actually kill him. “So when are you planning on telling him, then?”

“When the time is right, I don’t know. Probably never.”

“Lulu, I love you to death and I mean this with all the kindness in my heart. I am so bored of this conversation. We’ve been having it for years. We’re graduating soon, there’s no guarantee we’re all going to the same spot, your time is running out.”

Lup crushed the flyer against her face, screaming into the void. “I know! Ugh. I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now be a dear and pass me that polish. My nails have to look perfect for when I ask Kravitz to the dance.”

---

“You should ask her, Lucrecia. She’s a pretty cool girl and anyone would be lucky to take you to the dance.” Magnus, Lucrecia, and Barry were standing in front of Barry’s locker while Magnus was trying to convince her to ask out her crush.

“Ughhh, I don’t know, Magnus. We’ve, like barely talked.”

“That’s not true! I saw you two talking the other day.”

“Yeah, but I asked her for notes. That’s different, that’s school stuff.”

“I think I agree with Magnus, Creesh.” Barry shut his locker door and started shoving his textbook in his backpack. “She laughs at all your jokes in class, which is a great sign. I mean, we’re seniors. This is our last chance.”

Lucrecia gave him the biggest side eye. “Oh, yeah, Bluejeans? Are we talking about final chances and asking out crushes now? If you say it’s so easy, why don’t you go ask Lup?”

Barry’s face went pale. “Uhh, uhh. That’s different! Lup’s my best friend.”

“Mhmmm, okay. I’ll make you a deal, you ask Lup, I’ll ask Melora.”

“Ask Lup what?” Out of seemingly nowhere, Lup appeared in between Lucrecia and Barry. His eyes went wide and he began stammering.

“Uhh, nothing! Just one of the questions from last night’s reading.”

“Ahh, yes. Last night’s reading...which I totally did...because I definitely remembered to do it…”

Lucrecia laughed and passed Lup her notes. “Here, read through these before our class discussion.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!! You’re a life-saver.” Lup leaned in and planted a nice big kiss on Lucrecia’s cheek. Lucrecia winked at Lup as the bell rang and took off after Magnus, leaving Lup and Barry alone.

The two of them walked in uncomfortable silence, both of them wanting to say what they swore they never would. They passed by one of the many posters about the dance and Barry cleared his throat. “So the dance next week...are you going?”

“Oh, that thing? I hadn’t given it much thought at all,” Lup lied through her teeth. “I mean, it sounds like it could be fun, especially since we haven’t really gone to a dance at all.”

“Yeah! Do you...uh, do you want, um…” Barry kept stammering, his face fully red. Lup’s face lit up, hoping he was attempting to ask her to the dance.

“Do I what?”

Barry let out a deep breath to steady himself and began again. “Do you want to go -“

The bell rang loudly, cutting off the rest of his sentence. Barry swore under his breath.

“Shit, it’s like a four minute walk to calculus, I’ll catch you later?”

Lup swallowed a lump in her throat she hadn’t realized was there. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Once Barry was out of sight, she turned and rammed her body against the lockers with a little too much force.

“Lulu, that was...incredibly painful to watch.” Taako’s voice appeared behind her.

“Imagine how it felt to live it.”

“I don’t think I can, considering I walked right up to Kravitz, looked him in the eyes and said ‘you, me, dance?’”

“What did he say?”

“Yes, natch.”

“Congratulations, I’m so happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy for him at all.

He chuckled at that and grabbed her hand. “C’mon, we’re going to be late.”

—

Lup stood outside the school under the tree she always did waiting for Barry so they could walk back to his place together to do homework like they did every day. He was taking a little more time than usual but he occasionally got stopped after class to talk about nerd stuff with Lucas Miller.

“Hey, Lup.” A smarmy voice came from behind her and she turned around to see gorgeous jock Greg Grimaldis leaning against the tree, a smirk on his face.

“What’s up, my dude?”

“I don’t know if you heard, but I’m getting inducted into the school hall of fame for football this weekend.”

“Congrats?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to the ceremony this Saturday. As my date.”

She was taken aback. Sure, Greg Grimaldis had flirted with her a lot the last four years but she was incredibly attractive, a lot of people hit on her. “Uh, Saturday is the dance.”

“Oh, that lame soirée? Yeah, I’ve been to a thousand like it, no thank you. Trust me, this is going to be a lot cooler.”

“Uhh..” Lup hesitated and then was interrupted by Barry appearing next to her.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Greg Grimaldis ignored him, like he always did, and turned to Lup. “You know, I’ll give you until tomorrow to think about it. See you then.” He winked and then ran his tongue over his teeth, sending shivers of disgust over her.

“Woah, what was that about?” Barry asked, watching Greg walk away, stereotypically throwing a football up into the air.

“He asked me to go to this stupid ceremony with him on Saturday as his date.”

“...oh.” His voice was scratchy and squeaky and he turned away from her. “Are you going to go?”

“I don’t know...Is there a reason I shouldn’t?” Please give me a reason, please tell me I shouldn’t go.

Barry’s mouth was dry as he replied: “I mean, if you want to go you should go.”

Her heart dropped. “Uh, maybe I will go. It could be kind of fun, maybe ruin Greg’s big night.”

That got a slight, but fake, chuckle. “Sounds fun.”

They stood there in tense silence, not looking at one another before she finally broke it. “Guess we should get going, we have all that homework to work on.”

“Actually, Lup I’m not feeling too great. I kind of have a headache and my mom wants me to help out with some stuff at home, so if it’s okay with you I’ll just walk you to your place.”

Okay, that hurt. She faked a smile. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Usually their walks home are full of laughter, Lup reenacting some wild shit that had happened that day, Barry stopping to inspect weird flowers or trees, the two of them going out of their way to step on leaves and dance through the streets pretending that when they bump into one another it’s an accident.

Today, they didn’t say a word to one another.

—-

“Woah, what the fuck happened to you?”

Lup didn’t even register what Taako had said when she burst into their room, sobbing. He stood up quickly. “Okay, who the hell do I have to beat up?”

She didn’t say a word, just tackled him to his bed and buried her face in his chest. Normally, he would have complained about her ruining his shirt but he thought it best to not mention it. Until later, at least.

They sat there, Taako rubbing soothing circles on her back like he had done a thousand times until she had calmed down enough to talk. “He doesn’t like me, Ko.”

“What? This is about Barold? Oh my god.” He rolled his eyes and pushed her off of him. “How many times do we have to go through this? The two of you are ridiculous.”

“No, Ko, he really doesn’t like me. Greg Grimaldis asked me to go to this stupid ceremony with him on Saturday instead of the dance -“

“And you said no, right Lulu? Please tell me you said no.”

“- well, not exactly.”

“Oh my god.” Taako removed his arms from around her and covered his face. “I’m going to have to do so much fucking damage control.”

“I asked Barry! I asked him if he thinks I should say yes and Barry said, and I quote: ‘If you want to go, you should go.’ End quote.”

“Yeah, because he respects your autonomy as a human being. He’s not going to tell you to not go on a date because he is hopelessly in love with you. Gods, Lulu I thought you were smarter than this.”

“If he didn’t want me to go with Greg he should have said something!”

“Have you met the kid? He’s got the worst self-esteem of any of us. Lulu, please, I’m begging you as your brother: do not go out with Greg Grimaldis. Go call Barry, talk this out, please. I’m not doing this for either of you anymore, this is purely selfish. I am so tired of hearing about this.”

“I don’t want to call him! He’s made his choice, he doesn’t like me and I am going to die alone.” She flopped dramatically on the bed, covering her face with a pillow.

“You’re not going to die alone. Greg Grimaldis is going to be there.”

A pillow came flying at him. “Get out!”

“This is my room too, Lu.”

“I don’t care. I need some time. Go make googly eyes at Kravitz or something.”

Taako stood up and started walking towards the door.

“Fine, I’ll leave you to your moping. But when I get back you had better at least texted poor Barold.”

“Poor Barold???” Taako heard her voice loud and clear through the door even though he was halfway down the hall.

---

Lup spent an hour with her head under the pillow, an unrequited love playlist from fantasy Spotify playing on her phone, trying to fill the hole in her heart when all of a sudden her door burst open and Barry flew in, panting heavily like he had just run all the way here from his house.

“Lup!! Are you okay? Taako said you had a science emergency and you needed help right away or you were going to fail all your classes and die and now that I’m saying this out loud it sounds completely and totally fake.”

Lup took the pillow off of her head and turned to face him. “Barry, what the fuck is going on?”

“I could ask you two the same thing.” Taako’s voice boomed ominously from behind Barry who moved into the room to let him in. “I am done, finished, with the two of you. Neither of you are allowed to leave this room until I am satisfied with the results. Here’s some granola bars.” He purposefully aimed for Lup’s head and a couple of them bounced off. “Ciao.”

Taako left and shut the door behind him before either of them could say another word. Barry’s face was flushed red and he was still sweating from his run. “What is he talking about, Lup?”

She sighed and her voice got quiet. “Barry, I don’t want to go to the awards ceremony with Greg Grimaldis.”

If Lup had been paying any less attention she wouldn’t have noticed the light in his eyes return and the smile dance across his lips. “Yeah?” He cleared his throat, trying to cover up his happiness at that statement, then he sighed deeply. “I don’t want you to go to the awards ceremony with Greg Grimaldis.”

She smiled. “Yeah?”

“Of course not, Lup.” He moved to the bed, sitting down next to her. “I want you to come to the dance with us. We’ve gone through our whole lives together, I don’t want the first dance I go to to be without you. Who else am I going to make fun of people with?”

“Taako.”

“You know he’s going to be hanging on Kravitz all night.”

“True.” There was a brief silence. “Barry, is the only reason you want me to come is so you have someone to make fun of people with?”

Several knocks came from the closed door, making both Barry and Lup jump. “Barry I swear if you fuck this up I will cut up all of your jeans.”

Lup threw a pillow against the door. “Go away, you prick!” She turned back to Barry, his face bright red. “What does he mean by that?”

Sighing again, Barry takes out his phone and opens it. “Lup, I don’t know how to say it. But I have something that hopefully will get the meaning across. I was going to show this to you but then I saw you with Greg Grimaldis and I -” Lup put a finger up to his lips silencing him.

“What is it?”

“It’s, uh, a song. I wrote it. It’s called ‘Endless Lup’.”

He pressed play on the song and Lup was immediately transfixed. Barry could only play the piano and definitely couldn’t sing so there weren't any lyrics to follow but she could feel his affection for her nonetheless. She sat there, mouth slightly agape with tears in her eyes until the song ended. Neither of them spoke for several moments.

“Barry, that’s -”

“It’s too much, I’m sorry.” He turned away from her, running his hand through his hair.

Wordlessly, she touched his shoulder and turned him back towards her. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”

He flushed. “Good, because I wrote it for you.”

“Lup if you don’t fucking kiss this poor man, I will!!”

“Is that a promise?” Barry yelled back before Lup tackled him, bridging the distance between them.

@blupjeansweek2021

#blupjeansweek2021 #barry bluejeans #lup #taz balance #barry is both of the twins best friends

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