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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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burnt lion secondary (unhealthy courtier badger model & healthy bird model)

Hello, I really like your blog, especially your real people sortings. I also really liked your ACD Sherlock sorting. ( I only recently got into ACD Sherlock but Watson’s sorting makes so much sense, idk how I didn’t consider double Lion sooner. XD)

Anyways, I’ve been having some issues with my secondary lately and I was wondering if you could please help? Only if you want to of course.

… this is going to be another burnt secondary, isn’t it?

I’ve almost always modeled Bird. I like collecting random info, and I like plans, they keep me organized. I also have anxiety and having planned through the whole thing helps. The secondary of most of the characters I have loved over the years has been Bird (probably because they fit the “smart” stereotype).

Sounds like a model to me, a tool that you’ve built yourself.

I’m blunt for sure. That may be a result of having a super blunt mom though. It was in a “I’m going to be brutally honest with you because you need to know how the world works,” kind of way. The community I was raised in also kind of values being super honest. To the point where it’s just rude sometimes. So that may have affected my methods too.

As a kid I was always expected to get good grades and stay out of trouble so I was very quiet and hardworking. If I am a Badger, I’m only a Bookkeeper Badger. I really don’t like having to use courtier Badger. It’s kind of what I was expected to use as a kid: “You’re the oldest, you have to take care of everyone else. You have to be a good example. You can’t argue with —–.” “You’re a girl, you can’t do that.” bullsh *t. And it just never felt like me.

Those are some pretty brutal examples.

I don’t think you were raised in a community that values honesty. I think you were raised in a community that values a strict Badger flavored performance, with an emphasis on deference to authority. But you value authenticity.

Honestly labeling myself as hardworking makes me uncomfortable lol. Because I’m really not. I’ve always felt like I don’t put in as much work as other people do and I’m not trying hard enough.

Whatever your secondary is, it’s Burnt. The hints of imposter syndrome are making me think Burnt Improvisational secondary rather than Burnt Built secondary.

So if I’m a Badger, I really don’t like having to use Courtier Badger simply because that’s what was expected and I’m done trying to fit anyone’s expectations.

I’m starting to think Lion for you.

I wouldn’t say I’m meticulous, I have nothing against baking mixes lol, and (probably) most importantly I don’t enjoy hard work. Why anyone would is a little confusing sometimes tbh. Then again, what constitutes as work? If you’re putting time into something you enjoy/find interesting it’s not work. It’s having fun.

There is a third category that I’m going to call consensual work that, unfortunately, does not really seem to be part of your world. But I’m going to agree with you. That’s not a Badger answer.

I’m pretty bad at improvising because I flounder and I don’t know what to do or say.

You don’t use very nice language when you talk about yourself, you know that?

I feel like I almost chose to use Lion and it’s not something that was always just there. I learned that lying doesn’t work, and honesty is the best policy. I couldn’t live up to people’s expectations, I decided to always just be myself.

Well, we know you’ve been wearing a kind of heavy Badger model for a long time. And underneath it… I mean “be myself” is the Lion catchphrase.

I was pretty confident Snake secondary wasn’t even a contestor but lately I’ve realized I’m more Snake than I thought lol. There was a post discussing Snake secondaries and “twisting the truth to your benefit, ” that started in @missbrunettebarbie ’s blog. @mooglesorts said some things that really made snake secondary easier to understand and relate to. I have twisted the truth to my benefit fairly often. Whenever I need to lie I’ll use that or just tell the truth and omit details. The main person who usually sees through it has always been my mom lol.

Hmm. That does sound like the way Lions tend to lie… and you’re not a very good liar, you say?

I also will definitely play up certain aspects of my personality just to be more likeable.

That can also be a Courtier Badger thing… and we know you modeled that.

Like I didnt want my friends to think I was stuck up in middle and high school, so I would play up how clumsy I was and how bad I was at lying.

I’d love to know why specifically why seeming “stuck up” bothered you so much. Did you not want your friends thinking you were inauthentic (Lion) or did you not want you friends thinking you were putting on airs? (Badger.)

(That could have just been me turning the volume up like Lions do maybe?)

Definitely could be.

All I know currently is that the secondary I want to be is Lion. Basically when I’m comfortable I’m loud and honest and direct and me and I feel free but otherwise I’m quiet and mostly insecure. Isn’t that everyone though?

No. (That’s the description of a semi-Burnt Lion secondary.)

I think that if I am a Snake I like to be in neutral

… you mean like a Lion?

and use shifting when I’m just uncomfortable or desperate.

… you mean like when you’re forced to use the Courtier Badger model you dislike?

I think my secondary may also be a bit burnt because I went through a period recently where all I wanted to do was escape and not actually solve problems, and while I’m better it’s probably still affecting my secondary to some degree.

Yep.

This ask is looking to be more and more Snake as i write, but I guess someone else reading this may have a different view.

YEP. (Are you getting any Snake, Snake secondaries who happen to be reading this?)

Thank you so much for reading this mess of words.

I am so sorry about this. I know I already sent in a long-ass ask the other day, but I’ve been stressing over the bit about me not liking to use Courtier Badger. I really meant no offense. I think a nicer way to have put it would have just been that I don’t like using Courtier Badger because of bad experiences associated with it and I admire people who can use it. Please forgive me for being biased and hurtful. I also think I sounded misogynistic. Ignore my dumbass if I’m being weird tho..

… did you just send me a Courtier Badger-flavored follow up, explaining why you don’t like using Courtier Badger?

(And seriously, enough with the negative self-talk)

#sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #lion secondary #badger secondary model #courtier badger #submission

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tobebugjewce · 3 years

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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link; “https://youtu”

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;

Technical Support 1978

then,

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

#the walten files #twf #notes #horror

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tribill-hexaclintonium · 4 years

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Candy Theif

A quirk, thats what most people would call it. She figures its more of a comfort thing.

About once a month y/n got a bag of blow pops and put them in a little jar in her room. She'd eat one when ever she was sad, just to cheer her up a little. Even though the gum had a weird texture, the taste was comforting. Thats all she really needed.

Y/n cant remember when, but one day the blue lollipops started to go missing. No big deal, everyone knows the strawberry ones are better. Not very long after the green ones started to go missing, she started to wonder who was taking them. It could be Tony, he tends to steal her food and candy isnt far from that field.

As it was the beginning of the month, she went to the store to get more suckers. Hopefully this month she could have at least one blue candy before they were taken. Maybe the place has mice, she thought.

It wasnt until she came back to find Bucky enjoying a blow pop in the living room that she realized it wasnt Tony at all.

"James"

He stoped abruptly throwing whatever he had in his hands to the opposite side of the couch. He looked wide eyed in her direction.

"Is that mine?" She asked nodding to the candy.

"Thats an interesting question because actually I found it just- " She let him stutter on for a while before she shook her head, pushing off the doorway she was leaning against.

"James"

"Dont call me that, youre reminding me of my mom" he groaned. She punched his arm playfully.

"You could have just asked."

He stayed silent and stood up from the couch. He headed to throw the sucker away before she caught his wrist.

"Well dont waste it, you asshole" She pushed his hand tward his chest.

"Dont take all of the blue ones next time, it says a lot about your character."

"Really, what does it say?" He laughs putting it back in his mouth. She paused looking for an answer.

"Alright you got me there, I have no idea. Its just a vibe I get from blue rasberry people."

"Darn, I really wanted to know." He jokes throwing himself back on the couch. She sat back down pulling her own candy out of the newly bought bag and unwrapped it.

"You guys had candy back in the 40's right?" He turned, almost asking if he had heard correctly.

"It was 1940 not 1801 dumbass."

"Ok so what? Did you have candy or not dickwad?"

"Yes, jesus." She laughed at his frustration and decided to push further.

"Ok so what kind did you like then?"

"Its not the same as this, I mean, the stuff I got was either crappy gum or weird chalky buttons."

"So no blow pops in the 40s, good to know grandpa."

"Dont call me that either, we had lollipops but not this stuff." Now he really sounded like her grandpa.

"So have you always liked this 'stuff' oh dear grandfather of mine" She batted her eyelashes for emphasis.

"Have I always liked candy?" He paused.

"Yeah I mean who doesnt?" He shrugged, throwing the clean stick into the trashcan, he missed but she wasnt going to say anything about it.

"Did the stuff back then dye your lips like it does now?" She asked a little more confidently. A little flirting never hurt anyone.

"Yeah we, uh, used a lot of chemicals back-" He didnt bother to finish before he looked back at her. She raised her eyebrows and shrugged. He smiled a little.

"You cheeky bastard."

"Hey, you stole my candy I had nothing to do with this grandpa." He leans back and crosses his arms.

"I dont owe you shit."

"I agree" She said shifting to sit cross legged.

"You take my stuff too, you know." He said, thats true. Its not her fault he leaves his shirts out where technically anyone could take them.

"Well let me take this opportunity to apologize." She said with a mischievous smile.

"Thank you, Im sure its difficult for you to say youre in the wrong." He said, he was more smug than she could stand.

"Yeah, I should have known better. I read somewhere the elderly get very attached to personal items." She says holding back a laugh. He turns to her frustrated beyond belief.

"I could strange you right now, you know."

"Ah is that a carry over from the great depression?" She started to walk to her room.

"Im keeping the new bag asshole!" He yelled after her. She flipped him off and continued on her way.

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nevergenders · 4 years

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set it off in las vegas on friday (jan 17, 2020)

i showed them my new tattoo which they LOVED, i gave them a trans flag that i wrote on, and generally just had an incredible time. read under the cut!

so my friend bribri (@sarcasticloser7 on twitter) forced me to go before her at vip because i was freaking out with all this hyperactive energy and i was like “noooo!!!” she was like “you should go so you stop freaking out” and i was like “yeaH PRoBabLy”

so when our friend nicole had walked away they turned to see me and both cody and maxx went “nick!!!”

maxx gave me just such a tight hug. that was fantastic. it pretty much overshadowed my memories of codys (first) hug and i only vaguely remember hugging zach because for once he gave me a two arm hug haha.

i went “do you guys wanna see my tattoo??” and they were all like “yeah!!” and i struggled for a moment to take off my jacket sleeve (as you can see in the video) but i told him it was a photo of him holding my hand during the haunting in february and that cole got his handwriting for the lettering in july and cody said “i just got goosebumps! that’s so sweet” and i didnt see it in person but maxx was smiling just such a big smile!! and cody looked just so touched he turned into this 🥺 emoji and gave me just such a CUTE hug. (video post)

i was rushed into photo position and i auickly said “you can give me bunny ears if you want” and cody did last second and it’s so cute. and i ALMOST forgot to give them mine and si’s letters but i gave that before i left and at the end of the video you can just see maxx and cody smiling SO BIG.

(group photo post)

so then we played heads up, and once cody was done with his turn he stood between me and bri and it was probably because he knew we wouldn’t act all weird about it but in my brain i was still like “HUHHH???”

anyways that was really fun and maxx ended up winning. people were fucking yelling at first though i didnt even like try to help fjdjdj also cody dropped his keys which was kinda funny

anyways when that was all done with it was hang out time, i went to maxx first because it seemed like there was the least amount of people around him. i told him how in the past year my life turned around because they built up my confidence so much and he said “well you SHOULD have confidence!” and praised my covers and said “and even your original music is really good” that was like a really great slap in the face because sometimes on-stream in my head it sound like he’s playing up how he feels about it for the sake of the crowd and trying not to sound like an asshole but he really just said that to my face excitedly with no one else listening. THAT was cool.

i talked to zach next, i had to tell him i did the killer in the mirror mashup and the lonely dance mashup, and also told him that i thought it was very sweet that he was checking up on me in july. i think he was feeling under the weather though :( right after he walked offstage he tweeted about how much he hated being sick on tour, i hope he feels better :(

and i definitely talked too much with cody but he definitely wanted to talk to me too. i told him the same thing i told maxx but put a little more emphasis on how much i didn’t have any confidence at all, to which he said “i’ve had moments like that too” and i told him now i have the most confidence i’ve had in a very very long time. and this time i had him take the selfie because i was shaking so much my photo with zach was blurry (woops!)

(selfies post)

and i dont remember exactly what was said to elicit this but as i was about to walk away i brought up the fan power award and how i wanted to cry reading the article and he said “i’m so glad we got that award out of anything else” and i said “you deserve it” and he said “thats all of us, you guys too”

anyways yeah i spent way too long talking with him bc they had been almost out of time and he had to fuckin speedrun the rest of the people in line signing things and taking selfies and right as he was leaving i told him to look out for something i was going to give during the set.

we went back outside, and i bought merch for myself and cole, and someone who didnt have their card and sent me money on mobile. damn! and then we stood outside for so long i was like “why am i here” i was tired and also tired of waiting.

point north was actually pretty good, kellin came out for one of their songs which i was NOT expecting in the slightest (cole was fucking shook, not emotionally prepared). belmont i wasn’t as big of a fan of and i kinda got bored but there were some people there that were super into it, there was a pit and a fair amount of crowdsurfers.

when set it off came on i wasn’t losing my mind as much as i usually am but wow my serotonin levels!!!!! it was INSTANTLY noticeable that they seemed so much happier than when i saw them in july. cody especially was smiling so much, he was having such a good time. and might i say no disrespect is SO much fucking fun live, the left-right thing is super fun. during killer in the mirror cody went on top of the crowd like he usually does and i realized that that would be a good time to give the flag to him (the stage was really tall and the space between the barrier and the stage made me nervous) but he was a little too far and he stood up past me so he didnt see it. so i kept it until catch me if you can, which is when i originally planned to give it to him because wow that song is becoming like my life mantra. he finally saw it once i unfolded it a little and gave me a “gimme a second” finger. so for the second verse he walked over and motioned to give it to him and i was too scared to throw it over the gap so someone else did, and he struggled to unfold it and read what it said during the song so he just waved it a bit and put it on his mic stand. and after the song he opened up the flag with zach and read it, and pointed at me and hit his chest/heart, and he walked up to the mic and said “this is beautiful, thank you.” he kissed it and put it over maxxs drumset 🥺

for the next song i almost fuckin CRIED, he was singing to me so much and gave me a little finger heart and of course the thought in my mind was “why, i don’t deserve this” but then i thought about the tattoo and the past year and i got so emotional i thought i was gonna cry!!! fuck!!!

(gifset post) (video of unfolding flag) (video of holding up flag) (photo)

so yeah basically i am a mess. stan set it off stream catch me if you can and fuckin trans rights babey

#set it off #set it off adventures #ok last big post about this show aldskfjas no more content #sio jan 2020

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velthequeen · 5 years

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Behave Yourself

Pairing: Hank Voight x Khadasiah Blaisie

Word Count:

Warnings: SMUT

-with our lovely khadasiah blaisie, portrayed by our lovely tina kunakey!

-with prompts #14 “behave and you’ll get something sweet later”, and #27 “that was very anticlimactic”

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Khadasiah and Hank had been fighting a lot recently. No one knew about their fling, but everyone knew that Hank had went ballistic on her like, twice in the day. She didn’t understand what she was doing wrong. It was like he just snapped. It was because of the case they were working on. She knew he was beyond stressed. The case was that someone kidnapped a girl, and it looked like a serial killer they had been chasing in Chicago for a couple weeks now. But it wasn’t just any girl. It was the governor’s daughter. She matched the profile of the girls that this guy, or guys, liked. She was young, almost 16, with long brown hair and pretty brown eyes. The Intelligence unit didn’t think that he would escalate to taking such high risk people.

Khadasiah was reading the girl’s diary while the others tried to piece things together. She didnt see anything mentioning a boyfriend, mainly because the girl didn’t know what she liked. She had been talking about “weird” things happening with her. Khadasiah was a...vivid reader and learner. She envisioned herself in the person’s shoes, doing what they do and whatnot. Sia read intently before she was pulled back into reality by none other than Sergeant Hank Voight.

“You with us?” His rough voice asked her condescendingly. Sia just rolled her eyes and pulled her gaze away from him and to Erin, who was at the board now.

“Okay, um...as I was saying. We know she got abducted here,” Erin said, while pointing to one of Chicago’s parks on the map. “But we don’t know why she was there. Anything from her diary, Sia?”

“Uh...hold on.” Sia said as she flipped through the pages. She had read through, but she found some notable things that could be used to figure out how the serial killer picked his victims. But Hank had a different idea. she snatched the book from her hands, and filled through the the last diary entry before her disappearance. Sia looked at her lap and then to her sergeant with disbelief.

“She went on a walk because she ‘needed to think’.” Hank told his adopted daughter. Erin stared at him, as well as everyone on the team, before he gave them all glares which told them to look back at the board. “The closest park to her house is 30 minutes away from the abduction site.” Erin concluded.

“Alright. Erin, you and Halstead go talk to the governor and his wife. See if they know anything. Olinsky, you and Ruzek go to her school to see if she had been acting odd the past few weeks. Dawson, I need you to go to the last crime scene and the morgue. See if the last victim had anything at all other than physical appearance that the killer might want. Blaisie, you’re with me. Roll out in 10.” Hank said before going into his office and slamming the door.

Everyone went back to their desk. Al gave Sia’s shoulder a squeeze, and Erin sent her an apologetic glance. “The case is really stressing him out. The Governor is pressuring him with his job, Sia. Don’t let him get you down.” Erin told her. Khadasiah nodded. She saw Hank shuffling through papers in his office. She stood and walked into Hank’s office, much to the horror of her unit’s members. Hank knew it was her. By the way she walked, the sweet perfume she wore, and the fact that he just embarrassed her for a third time. He didn’t look up at her, and just kept going through his files.

“Where are we going?” She asked him. Hank kept going through his files when he answered. “Meeting up with Burgess and Atwater at the abduction site. See if there were any witnesses or evidence left behind.” Hank replies nonchalantly. Sia bit the inside of her cheek as she looked at him.

“Is that all, Khadasiah?” He asked her. Sia looked at him with both eyebrows raised. No one ever called her by her first name. They all usually called her Sia. And Hank knew that. “No, Henry. That’s all.” She said as she turned around. Hank’s eyes finally met her figure. He didn’t know that she knew his actual first name. Hank was just a nickname, but Henry was on his birth certificate. What he didn’t know is that she saw some mail at his house addressed to a “Henry Voight”. She smirked at herself, and was about to leave the room before she heard his gravelly voice.

“Watch yourself.” He warned her. His tone made a shiver go up her spine.

“Me? Maybe if you behave, you’ll get something sweet later.”

————————

It would take them a while to get to her abduction site. It was almost an hour away from the police department, and the traffic was terrible. Atwater and Burgess has got the call very early in the morning, so that’s why they were already there. Sia and Hank day in the car, driving behind a very slow traffic line. He glanced at her, and only saw her biting the pen she took with her that belonged on her notepad and not in between her lips. She knew he was watching, so she decided to give him a bit of a show. Khadasiah let her tongue slide up and down a bit on the writing utensil before looking at Hank. His face had no expression, but then she saw the growing bulge in his black pants.

“Why, hello there.” Khadasiah said as she looked at his crotch area. He wasn’t ashamed of his hard on, because he knew she was doing it to tease him. What he didn’t expect was for his detective to unzip his pants and rest her head under the wheel of his car. Hank felt his heartbeat quicken. “I’m driving.” He told her as she pushed her curly hair out of her face.

“And I’m doing you a favor, so you better keep your eyes on the road.” Khadasiah said as she let her fingers graze over the fabric that separated her lips from his skin. If you didn’t know what Hank’s dick was like, there was only one adjective to describe it: amazing. Amazing feeling, amazing length, and amazing strokes. The first time they had sex, Hank thought he was hurting her, but in reality, Sia was crying because of how good it felt. That’s how great it was. And Hank knew that she was only doing this so he wouldn’t be so hard on her. Emphasis on “hard”. He was about to say something else in retaliation before he felt her warm mouth cover his tip.

“God.” Hank groaned out. She started with her tongue running up and down his shaft, eliciting him to nearly swerve the car. She unbuckled her seatbelt so she could gain a bit more access. One of Sia’s hands was on his leg, trying to keep it from shaking. The other was on the base of his cock, pumping everything she couldn’t fit down her throat in her hand. One of Hank’s hands was in her hair, pushing it out of her face for her, while the other was on the steering wheel. Soft noises came from his throat. He could hear how wet her throat was, and it made him even more aroused. Hank watched as Khadasiah throat fucked herself, hearing her nearly gag on his length. When he was all the way down her throat and she wasn’t coming up for air, Hank gripped her hair tightly. While he drove, he pushed her head up and down on him. The man’s eyes were fluttering, and he was about to enjoy it even more before he heard his radio pick up feed. It was Ruzek.

“Hey, Sarge.” They both heard Adam’s voice say through the device. Sia was listening, but had no plans on stopping. Hank’s head was against his seat, and his chest was going up and down. “What’s up?” He said, his voices filled with composure. Khadasiah moaned against him, causing him to thrust into her throat. They both prayed that neither Olinsky or Ruzek heard her little slip up.

“The Governor is at his office, and his wife isn’t at home. But the door was unlocked and the daughter’s room is trashed. There’s blood on the window sill.” Adam told them. Khadasiah halted her movements as she went at an agonizingly slow pace. Her lips kissed the head of his manhood before she put him back in her mouth. She very much enjoyed doing this for him. She liked the feeling of him at her will, down her throat. Khadasiah pulled her mouth off of him as she pulled off the jacket she wore. She pulled up her shirt and pulled down her bra, and Hank nearly came right then and there. As Ruzek talked, her lips found his ear.

“I want you inside of me, Henry.” She moaned quietly. She saw that the road had very few cars on it. She went back down on him, Hank’s hand ushering her moves. “Search the room and the house. Then head to the Governor’s office.” Hank told them with a quick voice. Adam’s eyebrows furrowed. “You okay, Sarge?” He asked his unit chief. Sia was going at a steady pace, wanting to torture him. “Go faster.” He mumbled to her. Realizing that Adam had heard that, Hank had to improvise. “These cars won’t go any faster, Ruzek. Tell Burgess and Atwater we might be a bit late.” He told him before shutting off the radio and throwing it the openable console. Hank took his hand from her hair and went under her to knead her breasts in his hands. That made her moan even more, which caused Hank to thrust in her mouth again. He did it repeatedly, pulling over to a vacant side street. His breaths became quicker as he felt her throat close round his cock.

“Right there, Princess. Right there.” He groaned. Khadasiah decided to pain him even further by pulling her mouth off of him. She pumped him in her hand while she played with her nipples, a sight that made him nearly scream. “Henry, can you do me a favor and cum down my throat? This shirt is dry clean only.” She said with a smirk as she went back down on him. He didn’t know that she wasn’t going to let him cum at all. He knew she felt slick in between her legs, and that he was going to take care of it later. When he told her he was almost there, she hummed around him and brought her head back up. She fixed her clothes, putting them in the proper place, before smiling at him and looking back out the window.

“That was very anticlimactic.” Hank grumbled in annoyance, eliciting a giggle to come from her. When they got to the abduction site, Kim had asked Sia why her hair was all messed up. Quick thinking was a skill of hers. “Hank rolled the window up on my hair.” While Kevin and Kim debriefed then through the crime scene, Sia gave him a wink before going to look for some evidence. Kevin had smelled the fragrance on Hank. He knew the man hadn’t intentionally smelled like perfume, but he wouldn’t ask him questions about it either.

————————

It was another one of those nights where everyone had gone home except for Khadasiah and Hank. He always wanted to make sure she wasn’t leaving the office by herself, so he stayed later. Also, he had to finish his reports and notes, as well as she did. They had found a lead, but not the Governor’s daughter. Sia stood up from her desk and walked into his office. Hank’s eyes were furrowed, and his lips were in a line.

“Drop your shoulder, take your tongue off the roof of your mouth, and relax your eyebrows. You’re too stressed.” Sia said as she walked in, closing the office door behind her. Hank listened to her voice, how soothing it was. Sometimes when he was beyond stressed and angry, spoke to him in French.

“Se deténdre pour moi.” She told him as she went to his side, going behind him to rub his shoulders. Hank closed his eyes for a moment. Her hands started at his shoulders before slithering a bit further down his torso. Hank felt at peace. But then he remembered he had to get her back. She watched as his hand reached up to caress her clothed breasts, causing s velvety laugh to erupt from her throat. Hank stood up and pulled her to his desk, Sia sitting on top of it. Hank’s fingers met her chin as he made her look at him, and she couldn’t look away once their eyes met. His hands then found her waist, pulling himself closer as he captured her lips in his own. Hank loved kissing Sia. Her lips were soft, and warm, and it was so innocent. Sia liked kissing Hank because his lips felt like home. Safety. He was experienced and she knew he wouldn’t hurt her.

They made out while Sia began to unbuckle his pants. He was hard again, and she knew that, but what she didn’t know is that he had other plans for her. His fingers met her pants, unzipping her jeans for her. Sia stood briefly so she could pull her pants off, and Hank put her right back on his desk. His large hands cupped her neck and her waist, both of their heads tilted. Their tongues battled for dominance and Hank eventually won, causing Khadasiah to whine in his mouth. Before even realizing, Hank’s hands found her shirt, and he forcibly ripped it off of her body. It lay on the floor, the front of the thin fabric split into two. Sia pulled away and pouted.

“I liked that shirt.” She frowned at him. All Hank could do was smirk. “I’ll buy you another one.” He promised. Hank’s fingers found her underwear. They were black and lacy, just like her bra. When he saw that her expression had changed from a pout to fluttering eyes, he grinned in victory. “You this wet for me, Princess?” He asked her, even though he already knew the answer. All she could muster was a lazy “mhm” as she looked at him through her lashes. Sia didn’t even have time to react before Hank pushed his middle finger inside of her. She threw her head back and moaned out. His finger went in and out of her at a delayed rate, Sia trying grind herself against his fingers. She bit her lip so hard it drew blood when he added his ring finger. Hank’s thumb made its way to her sensitive bud as well, causing the French woman to pant.

“Oh mon Dieu.” She panted out in her native language. One of her legs was propped up on his desk so he could get better access, and her other foot was hanging languidly off of it. As Hank fingered her mercilessly, his other hand reached behind her to unhook her bra,watching it fall from her skin. Sia quickly threw it on the ground with her other discarded clothes. Hank’s mouth made it to one of her nipples, alternating between rubbing one and sucking the other. He met her eyes as he attacked her breasts, and all she could do was look back and groan. His fingers had become visibly wet and sticky as he fondled her hole. Sia’s hands were behind her, her elbows and knees going weak as his planted soft kisses in between the valley of her bosom, a sweet contrast to how rough he was being at her nether region.

“Hank,” She whimpered as she used one of her hands to push her curls away. As she moaned louder, Hank pulled his fingers out of her. Sia looked at him with wild eyes and whined loudly. The sergeant gave her a devious grin. “You know what I should do?” He questioned her. Sia looked at him with furrowed brows.

“I shouldn’t even let you cum. You left me hanging in that car.” He reminded her. Sia happily got off the desk and onto her knees. His cock was rock hard when she pulled it from the opening in his boxers. Hank watched as she put him back in her mouth, wasting no time as she bobbed her head back and forth. His head rolled back as his hands got tangled in her curls, guiding her mouth up and down on him. Hank was still aroused, so it didn’t take him that long to cum. He could hear how wet his length was in her throat, the way she choked and cane off of him for air. Sia hollowed her cheeks and sucked on him faster until he held her head down on his twitching cock while he released down her throat. She swallowed, because spitting isn’t ladylike. Hank held a hand for her to get back up, and she sat back on his desk.

His thumb met her clit again, but this time he got on his knees and began to eat her out. Her hand immediately went to his hair as he licked up her folds slowly and cautiously, eating her like she was his last meal. When he pulled away again, Khadasiah huffed in annoyance. “Hank, please.” She moaned out. He looked up at her, and she could see her juices glistening in his lips. “Use your words, Princess. Tell me what you need.” He told her before going back down and licking her even more, still keeping his eyes attached to hers. Sia felt a knot form in her stomach.

“Please. I wasn’t kidding in the car. I need you inside of me.” She whimpered. He sucked on her clit a few more times, causing her to moan louder before he stood up. Hank took his long cock in his hands and teased her entrance with his tip She giggled at him, watching before throwing her head back in ecstasy as he slowly entered into her. Hank pushed everything off of his desk, laying Sia gently down on the wood. Her back arched as he thrusted into her, her eyes squeezing shut. They had never fucked in his office before, nothing more than her blowing him from under the desk or him fingering her. This was a whole new experience.

“Say my name, Sweetheart.” He told her lowly, his voice becoming rougher if possible. His hand made it from her stomach to her breast, rubbing it gently to calm her. Sia could barely open her eyes. Her words felt mushy and slurred. “Hank...” She said with nothing more than a whisper. Her answer made him squeeze her breast, a cry coming from Sia immediately afterward. “What did you call me earlier, hmm?” He tried to jog her memory. Khadasiah opened her eyes and smiled at him.

“Is that what this is about?” She interrogated him. Instead of answering, he thrusted into her harder, causing her scream. “Say my name and I’ll go faster.” He repeated, giving her deep, slow strokes. “Henry.” She said with a quiet voice. That alone was enough for him to move faster, thrusting in and out of her quicker with each stroke. Khadasiah’s voice got choked up in the pleasure she felt. It was still a bit painful each time he put himself in her, but that was quickly replaced with sweet delight. Sia came up from the desk and wrapped her arms around his neck, wrapping one of her legs around his waist.

“Yes, baby!” Sia screamed as she heard their skin slapping together. Deep rhythmic sounds as his hips met hers, both of them groaning with passion. “Quiet.” He growled at her. His face was in the crook of her neck, giving her small yet sloppy kissed down her shoulder to soothe her. Sia was a screaming mess. Her manicured nails dug into Hank’s clothed back, most likely breaking skin. It just felt so good. She couldn’t contain her pleasure. “Just like that, I’m gonna cum.” Khadasiah cried out. Hank felt her teeth meet his shoulder as she tried to contain her screams. He dipped his hand between the two to rub her clit, causing a choked sob to come from her throat. He couldn’t see her tears, but it felt so good she began to cry.

“Beg for it.” Hank replies to her words. Khadasiah’s mind turned to mush. She could barely say what she just did. “Please let me cum, I can’t hold it.” She whispered in his ear. Hank wanted to spill into her when he felt her hot breath in his ear. But all he did was pull out of her, pushing his underwear and pants down before entering her again. “You make messes when you cum.” He explained as he began to shove himself into her harder. “Beg me, Sweetheart. Or else I won’t let you cum.” He threatened, eliciting s whine to come from her.

“Henry, please let me cum. Please baby.” She pleaded and choked over her own words. Hank pulled her closer to him as their lips met, Sia moaning every time he thrust faster. She pulled away and laid her head on his shoulder as she came around him, screaming as she did so. Her wetness coated him, but that wasn’t the end. Hank thrusted through her orgasm, making the aftermath more enjoyable than the actual climax. He kept going because he was going to reach his release soon too.

“I’m almost there, Princess. God, you look so pretty like that.” He said as he inspected her face. Her mouth still formed an ‘O’ shape and her eyes were closed, her heart beating rapidly from within her chest. “In me. I want it in me.” She groaned out. trying to push her hips into his. Hank’s hank made it to her face to wipe away her tears. He went slower since he thought he was hurting her, but when she whined and dug her nails into his arms, he knew she was okay. He kept pounding himself inside until he groaned and released himself deep within her. They both groaned when he did it, Sia’s lips pressed against his neck. Hank pulled out of, and helped her get cleaned up and get her clothes on as he got on his. Sia stayed on the desk. She knew she wouldn’t be able to walk.

“All of that,” She panted out. “Because I called you by your first name?” She questioned as she clipped her bra back on. Voight smirked at her. “You also helped me relax.” He responded. Since she didn’t have a shirt, Hank let her borrow one of his jackets. “Y’know I love it when you call me that.” He informed her, causing her to smile at him. “Well, if this is the result, then I’ll have to call you Henry more often.” Khadasiah giggled as she got off of the desk. Her legs gave out and Hank caught her in his arms, pulling her up to his lips.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it home by myself.” She batted her eyes innocently after pulling away. “Then maybe you should come home with me and I’ll fix you right up.” Hank told her, keeping his hands steady on her arms. She smiled. This is why she always kept an overnight bag in her car. “I’ll see you there, then.” She told him, nearly hopping out of his office. It hurt so much to walk, but it felt so good.

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“Are you limping?” Erin asked her the next morning. Khadasiah has walked in, uneven with her eyes bloodshot. Hank had kept her up all night. She held the hot cup of french vanilla coffee in her hands as she limped into Intelligence, smiling at everyone.

“I kinda took a tumble last night. I’m good.” She said as she made her way to her desk. Out of the corner of her eye, Sia could see Hank smirking at her. Then she looked down at her phone to see a text from him.

Voight: Round 2?

Khadasiah just sighed. She looked over at him in his office before nodding. This was gonna be a long day.

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writings-andstuff · 7 years

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Coincidences Part II (Bucky x Reader)

You guys have waited way too long for this and for that I’m sorry. But here it is, so I won’t start it with my usual long-winded preamble.

Happy Reading!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Modern AU thingy)

Words: 5046 (yikes, that’s the longest fic I’ve ever written)

Warnings: The usual tiny bit of swearing

Excerpt: For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

Series Tags: @melanie451 @sebstanwassup @colagirl5 @winenighthoe @lovemarvelousfics @gotnotfeature @sebastianst-n @alwayshave-faith @hollycornish @iggytheboywonder

Tags: @langinator @fairchild21

Your name: submit What is this?

New Message from Mr. Catarcs

3:42 a.m u up?

You blink your eyes blearily and shift in bed. The sheet is wrapped around your legs like sweaty vines, constricting your movement. You growl angrily and throw them off, sitting up and relishing in the cool air of your apartment. Despite the frigid cold outside, you somehow still manage to wake up sweating. Maybe you’re a mutant.

Glancing over at your phone, it dings again to impatiently let you know that you still haven’t opened the text that woke you up. Usually your phone is switched to silent because of your job at the diner. There are always so many phones going off that it’s almost impossible to tell which is which. It’s just easier having your phone on silent because then you’re never worried about whether your phone is ringing or if it’s someone else’s. It saves you a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

But ever since last night’s conversation with James, you decided that you wanted to hear your phone ring with a text. It’s the first time in your life that you don’t want to miss a text.

You pick up the offending piece technology and swipe it open. Sure enough, the text is from James and you grin despite the fact that this message is the same one that woke you at—you squint at your alarm clock—3:49 a.m.

Deciding you are both thirsty and in need of some time in the open air of your apartment and not under the suffocating sheets, you get up and stretch. The floors are cold as you pad to the kitchen and fill a glass with water, shooting a text back to James.

3:51 a.m I am now

You wait for an answer while downing your glass of water and putting the empty glass in the sink again. Maybe he fell back asleep when you didn’t answer right away.

For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

You have no proof of this, and absolutely no reason to believe he isn’t a creep except for a gut feeling. You resolve to ask his age whenever he decides to answer you.

You think about that. He could lie to you and tell you that he’s 20 when he’s really a lot older than that. The only way you’d truly know is if you meet him in person.

Suddenly you’re a little dizzy. This is just way too much to worry about at four a.m. You decide to just talk to him. You genuinely like his personality, and you don’t have to worry about all that other stuff until you actually meet him. If you actually meet him. That’s a big, neon-colored, flashing sign in the middle of absolute nowhere if.

Your phone dings and you look over from where you’re clutching the counter. You don’t notice how hard you were gripping the counter until you pull your palms away and it stings, lines etching themselves across your palm.

4:03 a.m srry didnt mean to wake u

Before you can even formulate a response, he’s texting you again. A double text. Gasp.

4:04 a.m just couldnt sleep. i was wondring if u wanted to talk

You tilt your head at your screen. He’s up in the middle of the night, and the first thing he does is text you? Why? Does he not have other people he can talk to? A stupid part of you, the same part that wants to meet him in person, thinks that maybe it’s because he wants to talk to you.

Maybe he does. Probably not. It’s too much to hope for. All his other friends are probably asleep. Regardless, not answering is not an option. Well, it is, but it’s not one you’re likely to explore, not when your chest has those freaky bubbles in it and your stomach is doing that stupid flippy-thingy. Nope. This, you decide, feels like High School when a cute boy texted you first and the instinct to giggle shot up to level 12.

4:06 a.m alright. what about?

Capitals, Y/N. What the hell happened to capitals?

You take your phone and pad back into your room, perching yourself up against the headboard with your knees drawn up to your chest and your phone in your hands as you wait for a response. Worrying your bottom lip, your mind drifts to work. You’ll have to get up in about three hours to be at work on time. Man, you’re going to be tired.

It’s then that your phone dings. You decide then that talking to him makes it worth the fatigue.

4:11 a.m twenty questions?

4:11 a.m Fine, but since you woke me up you have to go first.

The three dots that mean he’s typing pop up three different times before the response finally comes through.

4:15 a.m whatd u go to school 4?

You laugh.

4:15 a.m getting down to the nitty gritty personal stuff I see

You think for a moment. Telling him what you do isn’t divulging too much about yourself, so you decide it’s okay.

4:16 a.m lol yup thats me. i want the deep personal stuff. might just ask what ur fav color is nxt

4:16 a.m 1. editing; 2. sorry, that’s sacred info

4:17 a.m 1 ah i understand y ur a grammar nazi now…2 obviously

Thinking for a moment, you decide that favorites are just too cliche. Any conversation anyone has with some new friend ends in questions that start with “What’s your favorite…” You really want to know how old he is, but you figure you need an ice breaker before you get to the actual nitty gritty.

First, though, you must take the bait to piss him off:

4:19 a.m What would you have done if I hadn’t gone to college?

With a yawn, you lie back down and curl on your side, sitting your phone on the nightstand in front of you with your eyes glued to it. Once you realize that staring at it isn’t going to make him type faster, you turn over.

You’re totally not too eager. There’s no—

Ding!

You flip over so fast that you rip the sheet from the other side of the bed and end up with half of it between your stomach and the bed. It pulls from the bottom corner of the bed and is slightly uncomfortable, but you don’t care.

4:22 a.m high school?

4:23 a.m I didn’t go to high school FOR anything

You’re not sure if the use of caps-lock is weird, but you send it off anyways, deciding that emphasis on that one word is crucial to your meaning. He replies within seconds.

4:23 a.m i mean dunno bout u but i went to learn

You laugh, probably louder than is necessary.

4:24 a.m Touche. What’d you go to school for?

4:26 a.m repeating questions isnt alowed

Frowning, you wonder if he actually didn’t go to college. Should you push it? Maybe you should just change the question. There’s a part of you, the curious part that wanted to be a reporter when you were young, that really wants to know.

There isn’t too much time for you to think all of that before he’s texting you again. Usually, you’re the one to mercilessly double-text. James, it would seem, has you beat in this department. Also, you didn’t want to double-text a complete stranger.

Before you even look at the text, it hits you again: this is a complete stranger. The thought of not answering enters your mind again, but you push it down. No harm in just talking if neither of you meet, right? Right?

Right.

4:27 a.m i joined the military right out of HS

It’s a real Oh moment, and you find yourself staring at your screen as if it’s a real person. The military? What are you supposed to say to that? What’s the protocol for a text that you’re not sure how to answer? Should you just leave it alone? No; if you leave it alone then he’ll think he freaked you out. He hasn’t. Your brain is just short-circuiting on an answer.

Should you think him for his service? No. Not yet. You don’t want to call too much attention to it in case he doesn’t want to talk about it or he’s had bad experiences, but you’re still not sure how to respond. Have you taken too long already?

You summon up some courage and type out a message.

4:31 a.m Oh wow. Well, what would you have studied if you had gone?

You cringe, totally not meaning for that to sound like you were completely skipping over the issue altogether. James doesn’t seem to mind though, if his response is any indication.

4:32 a.m hmm history i think. ive always liked ww2 4 some reason

4:33 a.m well you’ve got AP european history girl right here. 1 of only 11 in the whole senior class to take it.

4:34 a.m well, smartypants i get 2 q’s bc u asked 2

You feel that you handled that effectively, and you were already beginning to formulate a plan in your head while he thought about his questions.

See, you know next to nothing about the military or what it’s all about except that it is for valiant people who want to serve their country. You can respect that, but you want—nay, need—to learn more. Convincing yourself that it’s purely for research purposes and not for anything else.

Regardless, you need to know more. It’s probably better to get it from someone who has been through it rather than from some cold, impersonal online source. And besides, you just so happen to know someone who was in the military. Someone who, in fact, lost a limb in the line of duty: Bucky Barnes.

As far as you know, Bucky lost his left arm in the military. You’d asked him before how he lost it and he hadn’t answered you, opting instead to change the subject to Steve and his new (at the time) art studio. It had been suspicious, but you understand that it must not be easy to speak about something like that.

You’ll have to go talk to Steve tomorrow morning to get Bucky’s number, but you think that maybe you’ll treat him to lunch in exchange for him giving you some details about the whole military thing. At the company, you get an hour off for lunch, which is just enough time to go out, interrogate a friend (respectfully, of course), and head back before the hour is up.

The plan was formed and you had your head already set on it. By the time James’ reply comes in, you’ve tuckered yourself out thinking that whole plan out. It is really late—er, early—after all.

4:41 a.m 1 how was ur day 2 how r u likely to spend a friday night

4:43 a.m I feel like I’m taking a Buzzfeed quiz

You yawn again and type out your answers.

4:44 a.m my day’s just begun. it’s four a.m. And probably reading or something

You put your phone down, thinking that you’ll just leave it there and wait for his reply, but you end up turning over and falling asleep.

In the morning, you turn your phone on silent again while you get ready for work, playing some music while you apply some light make-up.

It turned out that James hadn’t answered you anyway, so you would have been up waiting for a text that wasn’t going to come. Good thing you passed out.

Glancing at the clock, you notice that it’s 7:02 a.m and that Steve should be up. You don’t have to be at work until 8 and it’s not a long bus ride to get to work so you figure you can spare half an hour to haggle your best friend into giving up Bucky’s phone number. You wonder why you haven’t thought to get it sooner, figuring that you just never needed it.

You and Bucky only ever hung out with Steve or the rest of the gang. He was a friend of yours, but the two of you had never been too close in the two years of knowing each other. That said, you had heard a lot about each other even before meeting from Steve, and Bucky had expressed in the past how annoying he found it when Steve was constantly mentioning you in casual conversation.

It was the same with Bucky for you. Steve had been talking about his best friend Bucky ever since you had met him. It was in that way that you and Bucky had gotten to know each other sort of inadvertently.

Heading out the door and across the hall, you knock on Steve’s door lightly a few times. He’s a light sleeper anyways, and you don’t want to wake the whole hall with loud knocking. You only opt for knocking this time in case he’s not decent or something. Otherwise, you would have used your key.

Sure enough, Steve answers the door within a few minutes, clad in flannel pajama pants, a white V-neck, and holding a steaming cup of coffee. It smells amazing, and you realize then that in your rush you’d forgotten to make yourself some.

“Got another one of those and half an hour?”

Steve raises an eyebrow but steps aside to let you in. He’s a morning person, so you were sure on your way over here that you wouldn’t receive any resistance.

“What do you need?” he asks you, pouring you a cup of coffee not unlike how he’d done it the night before. He pours in a generous amount of milk and some sugar before stirring it and handing it to you, just the way you like it.

Blow, sip—“Mm,” you hum. “I need Bucky’s phone number.” You say it as nonchalantly as you can manage so as not to raise any flags to Steve, but by his surprised expression you can tell that you’ve raised them all.

“Bucky? Why?”

You shrug like it’s no big deal. “He has some info that I need.” It sounds so covert and cheesy that you almost giggle, but you manage to keep your composure while sipping your coffee again.

Steve tilts his head to the side almost imperceptibly, leaning his back against the counter across from you as you sit at a stool by his island. Said island juts out from a wall to half-enclose the kitchen area like a wrap-around ‘J’ with the island as the tail.

After a few moments of silence, it becomes clear that Steve is waiting for you to elaborate, and when you don’t indulge, he sighs, setting his cup down and crossing his arms.

“Okay, but don’t call him now,” Steve says, already ruffling in a drawer for a pen and paper. “He—he has trouble sleeping, and he needs as much of it as he can get before he has to work. And he’s taking Friday off so he has to log in more hours to make up the difference.” Steve hands you a piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it.

“Got it,” you said, taking the paper and sticking it in your bag. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you. “No problem.”

You stand and head to the door, plan in motion and feeling good about it. Then you remember something and turn as you’re walking toward the door.

“Steve?”

He lifts his head from where he’s still standing in the kitchen sipping his coffee. You realize you’ve left yours there, but decide that it’s okay. You’ll survive. Somehow.

“Yeah?”

“Mom is bringing over pasta around two, but I won’t be home,” you can already see his eyes lighting up. “I told her to make extra and that you should be back by then. Can you—”

“—keep it here until you get home?” He knows you so well, it’s scary. “Yeah, but don’t expect me not to try some of it first.”

You fix him with a warning finger. “I’ll be over at seven and I will expect there to be enough for dinner and lunch tomorrow.”

He holds his hands up. “Hey, we all know my metabolism requires a lot of calories per day, and two is just in time for a late lunch.”

“Steve,” you warn.

“Alright,” he laughs. “I’ll leave some of your mother’s pasta for you for dinner.”

“That’s all I ask.”

You walk back over, kiss his cheek, take one more sip of your coffee, and then leave.

You tap your foot on the ground impatiently as you wait at your desk for the clock to turn from 11:29 to 11:30 so you can head for a bathroom break to call Bucky and find out if he’s busy for lunch.

James hadn’t texted you all day, but you figure that’s okay. He doesn’t always have to text you. He has a life. You push him mostly out of your head, or you try to. You fail miserably.

He’s the reason you’re meeting with Bucky anyways. As much as you don’t want to admit it, that’s the truth. Of course, you can’t tell Bucky that. You’ll just sound stupid. And then Bucky will tell Steve and Steve will have some sort of “talking to strangers is bad” intervention with you. You definitely don’t want to endure that.

11:30 hits and it’s officially been half an hour since your actual bathroom break. You don’t want to call attention to yourself in the office that you share with a whole bunch of other people in too-tightly-packed cubicles. You grab the slip of paper Steve had given you and head to the elevator.

By the time you make it to the downstairs bathroom, you realize that you forgot your phone upstairs on your desk. Great. Now what are you going to do? If you go back up to get it, you’ll look suspicious. Of course, you shouldn’t really care what your coworkers think of you, but you do. Everybody says they don’t care about peer acceptance but most actually do.

It’s human nature.

You sigh angrily and look around. The lobby is all marble floors and a little shop where they sell overpriced snacks and drinks. There’s a desk to the left of the elevator bank with one woman sitting in a black wheelie chair making and taking phone calls.

Can you just ask her to borrow one of her phones? There’s an empty seat next to her. Maybe you can explain your situation and just ask this woman if you can borrow the phone.

The only thing is that you don’t know this woman. Your supers rented the office space with the endless rows of cubicles from the people who owned the building. This woman obviously works for the building management, and not for anyone you know.

You decide it’s better that she doesn’t know you. It’s less personal. You can call Bucky, discuss details, and be done with it.

You sidle over and lean on the high desk. Its polished marble top is so high that you have to lean over it a little to see the woman. She’s plump, with dark hair, blue eyes, and a squished face. She looks the opposite of friendly. She’s wearing a black headset that you realize is some sort of Bluetooth.

You wait until she is done speaking to talk to her.

“Um, hello?”

She doesn’t look at you for a moment, reaching up instinctively as if she thinks you’re in her headset before she realizes she’s speaking to a real person. She eyes you.

“What?”

You were right to guess she wasn’t very friendly.

“I was wondering if I could borrow your phone,” you say kindly. “I have to call someone and I accidentally left my phone upstairs.”

She looks bored and eyes you for another second before looking back at her computer screen. “Just go up and get it.”

“It’s urgent,” you lie. Man, this is going to be awkward after you make the call right in front of her and she finds out its personal.

She eyes you again. “You have five minutes.”

You smile at her. “I’ll only need three.”

You wait as she plops one of the black phones on top of the counter, and it’s so high that you have to go up on your tiptoes to see the number pad.

“Type extension 382 first, then the number.”

With that, she gets back to her work and you pull the phone from the receiver. You flatten the paper on the desk and do as she instructed.

You wonder if he’ll even pick up. This will be an unknown number to him, and you know that if it were you, you wouldn’t answer.

It rings three times before a familiar, gruff voice answers.

“Hello?”

“Bucky? It’s Y/N.”

He sounds surprised. “Y/N?” There’s a pause, a honking noise, and then he sounds as if he’s realized something. “Steve gave you my number.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I had to call you from a work phone, though.”

You catch the woman looking up at you briefly and can tell she’s annoyed that this is a personal call. You’re sure this call needs to be as short as you can possibly make it or else you’re afraid she’ll just cut it herself.

“Oh.”

“Listen, are you busy for lunch in, like, half an hour?”

Bucky thinks for a moment on the other line and the lady looks at you again, her gaze becoming more venomous. You’re pretty sure that once she looks at you a third time she’s going to end your call for you.

Just as you’re about to scold him for an answer, Bucky speaks up.

“Yeah, I’m—”

You feel bad, but you have to cut him off.

“Okay, great. Meet me at the Deli down the street from Steve’s studio at 12 sharp. My treat.”

Bucky chuckled on the other end. “Your treat? What do you need from me?”

You smile despite the situation. “Just your brain.”

“Sure you don’t want Banner or Stark for that one?”

“I’m sure,” the woman was giving you her last angry glare. You had to go. “See you then, Buck.”

“Looking forward to having my brain probed. Bye, Y/N.”

You hang up, thank the lady, and make your way back upstairs as fast as you can. 12:00 can’t come quick enough.

Bucky wonders what you want to talk to him about as he drives a company truck to the deli and parallel parks a couple blocks down. The flatbed of the truck is filled with mismatched pieces of junk, from broken computers to the plastic from the top of a printer. It’s all stuff that can be broken down and reprocessed at a plant.

The city is taking down an old building and putting a new office building up in its place. It’s Bucky’s job as the assistant to take all the not-so-useless junk and dispose of it somewhere where it can be reused.

He doesn’t have to be at the plant until two, and he finished loading everything up early, so he has about two hours or so to spare.

Walking into the Deli, he’s hit with a wave of merciful heat and he immediately pulls his coat off. The deli is small with few patrons a small line for take-out. One woman is sipping an iced coffee through a straw while she types madly on a computer. Two men are sitting at a table wearing yellow vests and eating huge subs. Bucky wonders if he would have ended up as one of them, working for the DPW if he hadn’t begun working with the demolition company.

It takes him barely a moment of looking around to find Y/N sitting in a corner flanked by two windows with an empty seat across from her. There’s a wrapped sandwich and a water sitting on the table in front of the other seat.

She’s smoothing out the wrapper of her own sandwich as if the creases in the paper wrapping are offending and should not be allowed to exist.

“Hey,” he says, walking over and taking a seat in front of her.

She looks up at him and smiles. “Hey,” she shoots back, and then nods to the sandwich. “Got you a BLT.”

Bucky’s suspicions are steadily growing. He pulls the paper from around the sandwich and lays it on the table as Y/N had done, though he couldn’t care less about the creases. He looks between the sandwich and the girl, eyeing both with the suspicion of someone who thinks he’s being played.

“What’s this about?” he asks.

She swallows and puts her sandwich down, looking like she’s about to ask him a ground-breaking, life-changing question. Her eyes quickly flick over to his arm and he’s suddenly very sure he knows what this is about.

But that’s strange. Yesterday—or really early this morning—he was talking to Y/M/N about him having been in the military. Now Y/N is eyeing his arm like she really wants to ask what happened but she doesn’t want to sound impolite.

Then there’s the fact that they’re both editors. That’s weird. And how Y/N reminds him of Y/M/N.

He’s an apopheniac, he has to be. He’s seeing coincidences where there really aren’t any. It’s his brain playing tricks on him. In truth, maybe he just wants this strange girl to be Y/N. Though, probably not. Then again, maybe this whole time he thought he was jealous of Y/N for being so close to Steve, he was really jealous of Steve for being so close to Y/N.

That thought derails him so fast that he doesn’t hear it when Y/N actually asks her question.

She lets out a breath as if it’s a load-off to finally ask him, and he’s struck with the realization that if he says he didn’t hear her, she probably won’t take it well. He waits for her to say something else, but when she doesn’t he takes a leap of faith based on her glance at his arm.

“You want to know how I lost my arm,” he says, rather than asks. If her expression of shock and discomfort is any indication, he’s screwed up.

Big time.

Shit.

“I mean,” she straightens in her chair. “I guess—it’s sorta part of it? Yeah.”

She sounds so lost and he feels so bad.

He still has no idea what her original question was though. ‘Part of it.’ His thoughts drift back to his earlier conversation with the girl he’s been talking to over text. The military. Could that be what Y/N wants to know about?

No, it’s just too weird. There’s no way. But he has to know.

“The military? You want to know about the military?”

She nods, looking slightly guilty. “Yeah,” he tries not to let his breath of relief show, “I—uh, fact-checking. I’m fact-checking an article.”

Bucky nods slowly, sandwich forgotten. She’s a terribly liar. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Sitting back as if she’s been punched in the gut, she blinks once, twice, three times—“I’m not lying.”

“Your body language gives you away.”

“Is that something you learned in the military?”

Bucky chuckles. “That’s something I learned from a whole lot of spy movies. Seriously, why do you want to know?”

She takes a bite of her sandwich and speaks around it. Altogether, not the most sexy, but that’s okay.

“Research,” she says slowly.

Bucky creases his eyebrows. “For?”

“For a project?”

“If you’re going to lie, at least lie with conviction,” Bucky says. “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to lie the right way.”

Laughing, she pulls her chair in a little more and sits forward. The picture of seriousness, she says, “Alright, if I tell you, you need to promise me you won’t tell Steve.” She sounds reluctant to tell him at all. This must not have been her plan.

Bucky draws a cross over his heart with his index finger. “Cross my heart or hope to die.”

She shakes her head. “Gotta be stronger than that. You have to pinkie promise.”

He gasps dramatically. “Not a pinkie promise. This must really be serious.”

Reaching over, she swats his arm. “Buck, I’m serious.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, holding up his pinkie. She links hers with his and he’s momentarily struck by how soft her skin is. Then it’s over. “Tell me.”

She steels herself, he can see it. Jeez, it must really be something serious or she wouldn’t be swearing him to secrecy using childish, yet efficient tactics. It strikes him that she tells Steve everything, same as him, so for her to say she doesn’t want him to know must mean it’s not necessarily something good.

He lets himself think for a moment that she might be about to confess that she’s the mystery girl he’s been texting. It’s much more likely, though, that she’s about to tell him she’s got feelings for Steve or something.

Steeling himself as well, he waits as she takes a deep breath.

“I may or may not—”

“You may,” he corrects. She glares at him.

“—have answered a text from a guy who was trying to text someone else—”

This is where Bucky stops listening and his internal monologue becomes one word:

Fuck.

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