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ahegato · 13 hours

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[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Satan

m.list

TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing Characters: Satana Writer: ahegato

Context: The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol

You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.

SATAN:

he may seem put together, but he’s actually super nervous

but he’ll keep himself calm for you

you’re the one getting boinked, so it’s the least he could do

he does a lot of research to be sure that he’s ready and can properly lead you through it

“a-are you sure about this?”

ragey boy is so cute when he’s nervous I can’t-

his cheeks are red, his hands are sweaty, and good demon lord he’s actually struggling to speak

different from leviathan, however, he’ll still initiate stuff

just maybe not as confidently as say, lucifer, would

satan is a hopeless romantic, so he wants to be as close to you as possible

yet he also really wants to go rough with you

but he’s terrified he’ll get too into it and hurt you, so you’ll have to initiate it

scratch. his. back.

treat him like a scratching post, that’s how you get him going

r o u g h a s f

he’s not that big, but it’s still possible that you’ll be sore from how hard and deep he goes once you release the beast inside of him

cums so much

it took out so much energy that he’ll sleep for like 12 hours the next night

“I will admit that I’m a little worried that I’ll be too rough on you. Please promise me that you will speak up if you don’t like something.” Satan says, holding your hands in between his as he keeps his worried gaze on you.

“I promise, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek, which continues down his jaw, neck and finally stopping at his shoulder, making the avatar of wrath let out a light groan. Despite it being your first time, it was like you knew exactly how to get him going.

-

Satan curses under his breath as he enters you, trying to keep himself together for your sake, ignoring the way your insides hug him.

“Are you alright?” he gently asks when you hiss from the pain, and he tries not to show how concerned he actually is.

“Yeah, I think I just need a moment to adjust.” you respond, your eyes tightly squeezed shut.

“Of course, love,” he whispers in your ear, his hands on your shoulders and thumbs rubbing against the skin, hoping to give you some comfort while also giving you space in case you need it.

Once you give him the OK, he slowly begins to move, making sure to be gentle. Except it quickly becomes painfully slow, and you beg him to go faster and deeper, to which he hesitantly obliges.

He can’t deny that he loves the increase in speed and force, groaning and humming as your cavern envelops him. Although what he doesn’t want to show is that his rough side is threatening to come out. He’s afraid of bringing that into your very first time together, worried it might scare you or even hurt you, so he puts a lot of effort into trying to control himself. Try as he might, you can tell that he’s holding back, and you try to get him to give in.

“I... ngh... I don’t think I can...control myself...if I do,” his voice is shaky, barely able to get the words out.

Trying to take the matter into your own hands, you change the position slightly by wrapping your legs around him to pull him towards you. It causes him to hit you in a different spot, one that makes you see stars, and you press your nails into the skin on his back. He released a drawn out groan, and he thrusted into you even deeper.

Bingo!

You pretend to not notice, but when he starts moving again, you scrape your nails against his back, and hoo boy he loses control. He’s roughly rutting into you, releasing curses in between his quick breaths. He’s going absolutely wild and it’s so fucking good, which you of course let him know with moans of your own.

“You’re so-... ah, fuck... I’m getting close...” he growls into your ear.

He’ll cum with a low snarl and pull you closer so your bodies are pressed flush against each other. Once he recovers, he’ll be a mix between embarrassed and surprised. Embarrassed that he lost control, surprised that you took him like a champ and begged for more.

✦ 30/11/2023 (Im so sorry lmao) - 14/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

#headcanons #obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #ahegato #smut #satan smut #satan #obey me satan #obey me smut #smut headcanons #x reader

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bmodiwrites · 1 year

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B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Hey pal! I love this question because yes, most of my fics have some sort of personal twist to them.

I've got concussion induced hearing loss like Steve does in Nice & Quiet. I played college ball like Steve does in I Could've Sworn I Saw Fireworks. The first ever 5 & 1 I wrote for this fandom was a catharsis about how me and my significant other learned about each other & the way we love.

You can probably learn a lot about me through my work, actually.

#harringtonisms #thanks for the question pal #i probably put too much of myself into my stuff lol #steddie #bobbie answers shit

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mer-se · 3 months

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I vaguely mentioned in conversation the other day while making a sandwich how bread at the store has a bunch of gross shit in it and how fresh would be better whatever and I went to the kitchen and saw my dad made a loaf of sandwich bread today and it was on the counter…..made sure it was ready before I went down to make sandwiches for work………love is real.

#made me emotional actually lol #he’s not a super lovey huggy dad but he does really cute thoughtful stuff #was so pretty too I’m excited to go on break and eat #been a lot of stress and worries going on but been shown so much love lately #I’ve also had a lot of self reflection #like a lot of it #and I’ve been realizing things like actually letting them sink in #and making new private goals that for the first time in a while idk..#make me feel inspired to tap back into parts of myself I feel I’ve abandoned #back to old goals but also new ones #last year was really bad and put my life to a standstill in a way and I’m kinda over it and myself being the same #I feel like I’ve grown a lot more than I did in year(s) and changed #in some ways worse in ways I can’t control but also better #it’s been no easy feat but I’m stronger #it's probably time to use that growth and I deserve to have my wants and goals and dream life to come to fruition #this isn't the year to be stuck l've wasted a lot of time #idk this year feels like it's going to be important #the growing pains are real #so for now l'll continue to be scared but brave and sad but thankful and stressed but motivated #I’ve felt all the things at once lately #but no matter what my eyes are more open than they’ve been in a long time #and there’s people who want to be apart of my journey whether it’s happy and fun or sad and hard #and everything in between #the rest is confetti

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kimmkitsuragi · 8 months

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i finally understand the temptation of buying a beverage

#i mean i love drinking tea all the time but u dont necessarily buy that everyday u know #u can just do it yourself instead of buying it from a cafe #but this one.... i tried to look for the recipe but it looks like this one place just made it up and it's so. mmmmhhh #so will i be buying an overpriced drink the first thing tmrw morning before i go sit in my language class? yes #my friend bought that one during one of our lotr days this week and she was like omg check this out and let me taste it #it was so good i bought it for myself the next day #and since that day im like....... i can almost taste it rn....... a phantom taste in my mouth........... i need it.............#etc etc and hi btw if anyone is still reading #i didnt stop here that much this whole week and honestly i probably will continue that if i can help it :>#i need to do stuff which i still didnt do this week bc like. i was having a silly time #which good for me!! but like. can u please do stuff atp im just 🧍‍♂️ we kinda have to u know #it feels kinda bad to put it off all the time too #i wont get into the existential crisis of it all yet again we've been over this #but also im so not over it at all. so #action plan and actually execute it girl. please. i will have to ask for letters from some of my instructors so like #i dont wanna be like hahahahahaahha aahhah i kinda didnt do anything in the meantime lol :D #not the greatest motivation btw i know just. anyway #life update kinda but make it weird. lol #🗒

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dbphantom · 9 months

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fuck it im watching the (other) mermaid magical girl show

<- obsessed with magical boys and girls and merpeople

#no the OTHER other mermaid magical girl show #wait ok i just looked it up on crunchyroll holy shit there's SO MANY i didn't realize this was like fi/nal fan/tasy there's so many...#not all of them have mermaids tho. wadda hell #cruddy rambles #i know this is because as a trans dude i intentionally removed myself from feminine stuff out of fear of being perceived as a girl as a kid #you know ye olde 'i HATE pink stop FORCING pink on me' -> 'actually pink is such a nice color now that im not being forced into it'#so now that i know myself im exploring it like ''hey this stuff actually slaps AND i get to be a dude 'despite' liking it''#i can have my cake and eat it too and if you're mad about it then die mad about it bc im not changing for anyone anymore #rahhhhh rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #and im gonna watch it while beating the fuck outta people in skyrim. very much looking forward to it actually.#update:#so i didn't realize this entire show is gonna be about putting on make-up ;-;#episode 1 was uhhhhhhhh. well... they REALLY like lipstick. im happy for them don't get me wrong but this is not for me LOL #makeup gave me serious self image issues sooo i do not feel good watching this even if the message is just 'wear it and be confident'#which like. i probably could've guessed from the name? but tbh i thought it was like... magical girl 'make-up' not LITERAL makeup #happy for everyone who likes it tho! mermaids are awesome and the characters seem great i am just getting ick-ed by the focus makeup has

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missionkitty · 2 years

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sometimes i really wish i could easily respond to tags because you guys really come through with them and just make some rough days a lot better but i don't wanna clog your dms or your notifications (i love you guys but i get petrified to engage with you sometimes 🫠 i am a big anxious weenie)

i put something kind of regarding this in my pinned post but i absolutely am so okay with you guys going deep into my blog for my old art or things or spam liking (and maybe a reblog here and there) things i've previously posted 😭 especially if you're new!

🅱️lease feel free to take a look at my older stuff!!! treat this like a museum and wander to your heart's content 🥰

i try to keep stuff circulating in my reblog side @missionkittyroyal but WAY more people follow me on here than on there and i am kind of trying keep this one more portfolio style

aaaanyway if you're reading this and you've recently reblogged something from a little while ago, your tags have basically saved my morning and you probably know who you are and i love you you

#will probably delete later #but i wanted to put it out there without breaking myself into a cold sweat this morning with a dm #it was a long night last night and i am not totally normal right now lol #also sidenote? i saw a story post from someone i follow on instagram of them #being proud of blocking somone 'in the middle of spam liking' all their stuff #and it made me really sad...#cause spam liking doesn't really affect the account being liked...but there's such a strange almost toxic mindset #especially among the artist community that i've seen that scorns these things #that have so much scorn for people going and looking at older stuff #and instagram is partly to blame too with the prioritization of constantly new content #but like...if i see a string of likes through my stuff i am pleased to know that i have maybe tickled your senses a little #and even better if you reblog things and follow to stick around #so please!! if you see something older that you like don't be afraid to interact with it #i'm from the deviantart era where galleries were meant to be explored over and over again #tumblr is able to kind of encapsulate that feeling still #oof sorry for going off on a huge tangent in the tags #just that ig story still makes me sad to think of

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shelleyspeare · 2 years

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i think i might have ocd

#had to say it #not gonna try to get diagnosed because (a) i don't have time (b) my intrusive thoughts are too much to talk about with anyone rn and (c) i #dont want to get stuck with a diagnosis like that for the rest of my life #because it feels so much more official and permanent than good old depression and anxiety. like i could never get over this #but i just wanted to put it out there into the universe that I'm like 99% sure if i described what's going on with me rn to a doctor they #would diagnose me with ocd. wild.#once i started thinking about it i wrote down a list of compulsions and it was like a full page long #i barely even think about them as weird because theyre so familiar to me but i do them constantly -- like probably hundreds of times a day #and most are textbook ocd stuff like even down to which numbers my brain registers as like. safe numbers to count to. like the number 4 is #good powers of 2 are good etc. and i touch light switches and doorknobs a certain number of times and i count my steps and the words i read #and i count how many times i blink and look at people so it all comes out right #and beneath all of that control is just a whole pit of obsessive anxious thoughts i can't control. so.#now i know that this is a Real Issue and not just my generalized anxiety being spicy #idk. maybe ill find help in some informal way that doesnt involve a psych eval lol #it's good to know this about myself

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born-to-lose · 2 years

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In my depressed era again <3

#for literally no reason ugh i hate it i hate it i hate it #probably a bad mix of overthinking and lovesickness again but what's new #i figured out why i like to do stuff until late at night until i fall asleep lol it's because i don't wanna be left alone with my thoughts #i guess that's why i could go such a long time without you know what... i always had lots of schoolwork to do and didn't have much time to-#-think about this kind of shit and once i don't have anything to do anymore i found myself in bed with a bleeding arm lmao #also let's call this my 'everyone i know hates me and my best friends despise me the most' era #still gonna stay up two more hours because i'm like a damn puppy who waits excitedly for their favorite person to come home from work #at this point i should maybe write all this shit in a diary but like. you know how my rambling posts start so y'all can just ignore #tldr i'm feeling like shit and i can't promise that i won't do something stupid again #i'm just too hung up on things that happened weeks ago but like what if it isn't actually ok now #also i know i'm too clingy and possessive with people i'm really close to but it's just my abandonment issues :(#and i know i fucked things up with other people (friendships and relationships) way too many times so i'm putting all i have into this one #still i feel like it's too much and too little at the same time idk i just Know when i really like someone and then i don't wanna lose them #but at the same time i often drive them away with my excessive love and attention because certain people are like some addiction to me #ok no that's too much already for now sorry #anyways i'm sobbing and shaking and feeling terrible and guilty #oh and unrelated but i nearly got run over by a car today 👍🏻 fucking hate drunk small town students in a mcd's parking lot #mel talks #tw self harm

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carcinized · 2 years

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I will work on C-17 soon <- lie lie lie lie

#I ACTUALLY DO HAVE TIME TOMORROW + THIS WEEKEND. SO MAYBE?#but i also have soooo much schoolwork … plus i have to take care of myself n stuff and i am not a writer who writing is easy for #like i know every writer says that but i mean it like each word is a struggle its not really super enjoyable for me #tbh idek if im good at it or not but i dont really care bc i do like putting out the finished project and seeing people react to my little #story. and i like telling it in my head! its just that the actual process of writing it all out is VERY difficult for me #and not in a fun quirky ‘omg writing is so frustrating!! ^_^’way like its actually hard for me lol #so ANYWAYS point is it doesnt count as self care #so i have to work in self care time too. but soon… maybe soon…… (probably a lie)#im a busy blogger 😔😔#tobin talks

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sparrowchute · 2 years

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Bugsnaxbugsnaxbugsnaxbugsnaxbugsnax

BUGSNAX!!!!!!

I love bugsnax!!!! I'm very new to the fanbase but incredibly excited to be here!! I put off playing the game for a while (i am lazy and it is also very hard for me to absorb new media that isnt already an interest lol) but im very glad i finally managed to drag myself into it!!!

I almost just played on gamepass (xbox), but I found out that if you're on PC you can mess with the code and I've been having a lot of fun there!! I've so far made it so that Snorpy has all his normal limbs intact (no cinnamon roll leg, no popsicle arm) and I'll occasionally give characters other characters hats :0 I've given Chandlo Shelda's flower crown in my current save and my first save currently has Beffica wearing Wambus' hat lol

#i hate coding. i need to stress this. i fucking hate code i hate working with it.#but this isnt like. normal coding. theres no building shit from scratch its all there for me #i simply just have to dig through the codes and find asset names then move them around!!!#snorpys normal limbs were the hardest to find because they arent in the normal save code :0 i did find them though!!#ive now realized though theres probably an easier way to zero them out.... i havent tried it on snorpy yet but it worked on wiggle lol #sorry for rambling ab coding stuff in the tags it just got me very excited!!!#i couldnt find anyone online that did a deep dive of the games code so i had to put on my big boy pants and do it myself #sighs. it aint much but its honest work. i should mention the zero-out trick worked for eggabell too!!#so now i just have her with her eyepatch and lizberts hat :D #ok ok sorry im done. mahbe one day ill make a post about all the coding deep-dive stuff ive done lol #ask #anon #bugsnax

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bmpmp3 · 1 month

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i NEEED to be more annoying about being mixed race in public i keep forgetting how dire it is. sometimes i point out stuff in like visual culture classes about like a magazine cover with a biracial model or something and it blows peoples MINDS because the whole class forgot mixed people were real

#sometimes im like nooooo i shouldnt be too loud about it people find it annoyinggggg sometimes #but then i remember. if i dont. my white peers. i love them i do they're ready to learn and they do a lot of thinking #once you point stuff out. but by god you need to point this stuff out first LOL classmates put a lot of care and thought into all kinds of #issues but HOO baby. race is a BIG blind spot for a lot of em hfkjdjdkfh #i just get surprised is all. i didnt realize how little the average non-mixed-race person thinks about this stuff #i like to call myself whiteboy. because i think thats funny. its my internal monologue. but also i am not actually whiteboy #and i forget the real whiteboys (gender neutral?) dont know much about mixed issues hjskasjfkd #oh speaking of i guess as a quick primer: i should probably mention. i tend to call myself mixed race #just the terminology i grew up with. but in most professional and academic settings i'll use biracial or multiracial where applicable #or when referring to people who are not myself or someone i know prefers the term mixed #i dont know why i like the term mixed. maybe its just easier to say and explain LOL but yeah #not everyone likes the term mixed race so its usually better to call someone biracial or multiracial if you dont know #multiracial identities are vast and can be vastly different. one persons experience is much different from anothers #my experience is different from my older brothers and we have the same parents and look pretty alike #and our experiences are different from like. my biracial cousin who grew up in the US #and all of us have different experiences than the only other multiracial classmate ive had in years #really the best thing is to read stuff written by multiracial people. books articles blogs. watch video content #theres a lot to learn constantly even if youre multiracial yourself! lots of people on this earth. but it can be fun!#interesting and fun to connect with others by listening to their stories and experiences!

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thefirstimagifabricator · 1 year

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heheheehee look i put a title

mmmm maintenance/updates to header subtext bc wow who would’ve guessed but things fucking change lol

that was the old now this is the new

also some shit just was missing not like new addition things or wtv lol

#hnnggggg would put orv higher on the list but. STILL haven’t read novel yet #and i feel like that would be basically welcoming the spoilers in my front door #which #i've already heard almost too much #maybe it is too much by a bit actually #it hasn't killed my love for the story #hell no #has probably made it greater tbh #but #takes a bit of the passion/impact out of the slowburn discovery of shite along the way #despite its still/also making me super hyped for what's to come and making me want to experience the whole thing for myself haha #relating back to the post #i have no idea why i had naruto that high tbh #i definitely interact w stuff to do w it on here #but i think others more so #and i'm just not as involved in general with its fandom as some of the others #.....partly owing to the fact that a solid chunk of naruto fans are. questionable in morlas #maybe it's also bc it didn't seem as far off from the hq fandom then...?#then as in like. when i made the header text lol #but have gotten v involved w hq fandom on twt since then/in the past few months #so idk them next to each other is a little weird #though y'know what maybe i'll move it a bit up again #bc riordanverse i interact w less on here and much more on twt lol #though ig that applies to hq too--#idkkkkk #wtv #it's fine #the fandoms are *there*#that's what matters most #also should i add artemis fowl up there??

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jay7543 · 2 months

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You and your half-werewolf boyfriend ghost trade pics while he’s on mission

18+++

M4m

This is updated thanks to a comment, artist is @ave661

Another werewolf one!!!! You guys love these ones, Half-werewolf tho, same stuff applies like it did in my previous one, doesn’t look like one, still has the knot and wolf cock, I just like to clarify. This whole story will probably be through them texting so I’ll probably use some text slang and emojis to make it better, it’s not because I’m lazy I swear, lol. Enjoy!!! And yes, the reader is a femboy, i really wanted to do a femboy one, so here it is

Ghost is on another long mission, you two haven’t seen each other in person for weeks, haven’t sucked, haven’t fucked, and you haven’t seen that beautiful cock of his, so you two have started trading pics when you get free time. He shows yours too his team(with your consent) he loves to show off his femboy boyfriend.

On a boring Wednesday evening you sit in front of the tv, watching your favorite anime(Jojo’s), until you hear your phone vibrate on the table next to you. You grab it as quick as you can and look at it, it’s ghost!!!! It’s been days since you two talked, you immediately see a sexy photo of his abs he sent(see cover photo).

Reader-“oh ghost, fuck”

You say as you stare at the picture and start to reach down too put your hand in your pants, past the chastity cage ghost had you put on so you couldn’t jerk off till he got back. You start prodding and tracing your asshole as you look at the photo when another text comes in

Ghost-“you like that love? Playing with your boy pussy yet lol”

You stare at the text and giggle a bit, he knows you too well. You text back

Reader-“yeah babe I am. Wanna see my lil cage and boy pussy🥰”

Your heart pounds as you pull off your pants and wait for him to respond, thinking of how to take the picture, especially since you know he’ll show his team, he loves showing you off and you love when he does.

Ghost-“course love, give it to me and I’ll give you a reward”

You get up and rush over to your standing mirror you have, because of course you do, you almost trip over your pants that are still on your ankles. When you get to the mirror you lay on the ground and lift your legs and hold them as far back as you can, making sure your chastity cage, swollen balls, and tight asshole are on full display, with some very flexible moves on your part, you take the picture in the mirror and send it to him.

Ghost-“hell love, you are just so bloody hot, your hole wants my knot so bad right?”

Reader-“yeees, please show me🍆💦🫵”

Ghost-“lol”

He then send you a picture of his full, red, throbbing hard cock, and his beautiful knot, you always love how it feels when it’s inside you. You reach down to touch yourself again, now fingering your asshole a bit, imagining him in you, pumping all his seed into you, trying to make you have his pups. Even though he can’t get you pregnant, that doesn’t mean he won’t try his damndest. His knot always feels so good, locking you two together as he paints your insides white, sometimes he even plays with your cock, just to overstim you as much as he can.

Reader-“fuck, that’s so hot 🥵, I’m touching myself right now babe”

Ghost-“really? Send me a vid”

You sit down on the couch again and lift your legs a bit to show off you fingering yourself while you think of him. It takes him a few minutes to respond as he presumably watches your video on repeat as he touches himself. After a bit he sends you video of his cock, now leaking precum from its tip as his knot throbs, he also talk in the video.

Ghost” god love, you’re so fucking hot, I’m already leaking, the team loved it too”

He pans the video over to his team who are sitting near him also jerking off for you, as you finger yourself you cum through your cage as you see the rest of his team with there cocks out for you. You take another picture and send it to him.

Reader-“seeing you and your teams cocks made me cum babe”

Ghost-“lol, I’ll be home in a few days, I might bring a few friends if you want”

Reader-“I mean, if they really want to, and you’re ok with it, I wouldn’t mind having some more cocks to play with”

Looks like In a few days you’re gonna get to know ghosts team, very intimately, and you couldn’t be more excited, you start fingering yourself again.

#18+ only #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #smut #ghost x reader #m4m #monster smut #simon riley x reader #werewolf #werewolf smut #gay #simon riley smut #ghost x male reader

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lemonisntreal · 5 months

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Some sketches because it's been months since I drew these idiots oops☝️🥰

HI THERE. It's been a minute, sorry about that lol. I took a tiny out-of-nowhere and sorta involuntary break from the fandom because I lost interest for a second, but I'm slowlyyyy making my way back. With art, and some news about Tone Deaf for the people who are still wondering about that.

Also I see there's some asks in my box, I'll get to that eventually, I see you ;-; dw

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As stated, I momentarily lost a bit of interest with this movie- partially because I've recently been ensnared in a new fixation that will not be named right now, but yeah. I'm digging my heels in rn, because the last thing I wanna do is abandon this project. But, also, I've clearly bitten off more than I can chew with this being a comic lmao. In over my head and going through all 5 stages of grief and currently on acceptance.

The story got bigger. Like, a LOT bigger. Too big to capture every thought in a drawing and panel it and put it out as a perfectly polished comic without seriously burning myself out. It really doesn't help that my art style evolves by the second too apparently, so I've reached a middle-ground:

Tone Deaf is going to be a fic with some comic-like segments in it. An illustrated fanfic bc I still love showing and not telling a little too much.

This'll help me not only get stuff out faster, but also to help me fill in the gaps I didn't know how to draw with just text. So I can focus on just drawing the juicy shit. This also means it'll all be collected over on Ao3 in a neat little package, and I honestly prefer that over having a bunch of posts of pages that might be hard to find. So yeah, that's the plan.

Another bonus is that the frames can now be a lot more polished and nice looking [in glorious color] rather than hastily mashed together due to my bad habit of going overboard on singular frames without realizing it.

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Tldr; Tone Deaf is technically still gonna be a comic, it's just now gonna be supplemented with word-based fic mixed in because I made the project way too fucking big [the first Act has like 20 chapters I'm going to literally die]. Also it's gonna be on Ao3 and I'll probably be posting all the art here alongside any updates I make so huzzah! Help me :>

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stuckinapril · 3 months

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how do u overcome the fear of failure when ur not instantly good at something? i’ve been interested in engineering for a long time but i didn’t major in it because the high level calc and physics courses didn’t come to me naturally and i’m a perfectionist who hates failing or struggling 🥲

No one is too dumb for something. It’s not that you’ll just “never get” physics or calculus—it’s a matter of playing around w the material and seeing what works best for you. It doesn’t make those who process things at a faster pace superior to you; it just makes them different. Ik it might sting to struggle for a little bit, I’m also a perfectionist and I still have moments where I want to avoid topics bc I fear failure, but think of how satisfying it will feel once you get the ropes down & things just start making sense.

You have to put your desire to grow over your aversion to struggling at it. I’m personally terrified of stunting myself by never pushing myself hard enough, and that usually keeps my ego in check when it comes to stuff like this. If you’re not struggling, you’re not growing. Period.

You’ll have more to say by the time the interim of discomfort is over. This world is oversaturated w nepo babies / protégés / people who’re just naturally proficient… but they don’t have much to say as far as struggling to get good at something goes. The most digestible analogy I could think of is having acne & wanting to consult someone about it. Who do you think would have more to say about that: someone who never struggled w skin problems a day in their life, or someone who had major skin problems but now has glass skin? Probably the person who struggled but paved their way through it.

No one is going to point at you one day and laugh at you for having once struggled in physics or calculus. Once you’re an engineer you’re an engineer, same as anyone else. It’s very rare for people to care how long it took you to get to the finish line. They just care that you’re there.

My neuroscience prof said this once & it literally rewired my brain—but half the mental battle is just thinking that excelling at something is in your future no matter how long it takes, how hard it may be, or what you have to do to excel at it. Literally just telling yourself “I know I’ll get good at physics and calculus no matter what, I just need to figure out how” will help you sm. This is my form of manifestation lol even if I don’t believe in manifesting or anything like that. It’s legit just telling myself that I’ll get what I want eventually, so long as I work hard for it.

#I’m also a workaholic who was raised by a workaholic engineer mother so maybe I’m just INSANE #but genuinely I think this is the secret to life. just unequivocally believing in urself. that is what I think #if you want to be an engineer then pursue that w all your heart!! u will get good at it if u want it badly enough #good luck friend x #ask

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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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So the ‘straight with one exception’ shit that was so prevalent with straight women in fandom a few years ago. Do they find it a romantic notion? I’m bisexual so growing up in the 90s and 2000s most the queer content I could find was fan made. And don’t get me wrong I am grateful for the fandom moms of old for making queer content as a young guy in the 90s figuring myself out there was a lot of fear and self loathing but I always had fandom to make myself feel more normal. But yeah that straight with an exception thing, always really ruined my fic experiences a bit. But I’ve actually started reading older fic because it avoids a lot of the shit I find annoying about modern fics. Can’t escape this trope though it’s like negative nostalgia lol. I know you’re queer but I want to get why straight women love this trope so much. Is a bisexual man so unattractive?

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Anon...

I hate to break it to you, but when I started interviewing slash writers from the 70s, I heard more than one story that was like "And then I had all these weird feelings for my best friend I was writing with..."

Decades on, these women may have picked some other word than 'straight', but plenty of them did experience You're My One Exception.

Even the horny and self-aware people often find One Exception stories hot, whether it's a villain only being nice to one person or someone who has only experienced attraction one time or someone who is attracted despite their usual orientation. Like 90% of het romance novels include some barf-worthy "It's never been like this before!!!!" observation when they finally get together as though love is more special when you can put down every past partner. People just really, really, really like this trope in all its forms.

The fact that you would think this is a sign of a straight or female writer shows that you are amazingly clueless.

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That said, yeah, I too found the ubiquity of this in 90s fic annoying. Not a huge fan of the internalized homophobia that everyone was kinking on back then either.

I don't think it's specifically about bi men being attractive or not within fandom, though there is a massive real world double standard against bi men on, for example, OK Cupid.

I think it's more about One Exception as a general trope plus a lot of people being profoundly clueless about bisexuality in the 90s even if they were allies and activists for gay causes.

That was the era of Anything That Moves precisely because the queer community wasn't very hip about bi stuff yet. (And arguably, in recent years, we've backslid, but that's another story.)

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~Fandom moms~. Yeesh. A lot of those big authors were probably in their 20s in the 90s.

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