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#i normally say im not looking for a relationship on this blog but if u r down to be on vc and talk to me while i draw tbh im down
mlmlover-thoughts · 10 months
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anyone wanna date me
requirements:
- be nice to me
- spend time with me
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doobean · 8 months
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SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN - ISAGI YOICHI
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synopsis: A quick game of truth or dare goes a long way for you and your boyfriend.
contents: afab!fem!reader, college au, established relationship, mentions of alcohol, parties, the whole college experience, awkward first times, isagi centric, narration heavy throughout, explicit content (he calls you baby, unprotected, virginity loss, fingering, handjob, saddling, clothes stay on!!, finishing inside, a lil bit of aftercare and cuddles), mdni word count: 3.9K a/n: was originally req on my other blog before i dedicated a whole post to it because why not... also idk if its actually called saddling or not but some of these sex positions have weird names so im just gonna call it saddling (u sit in his lap)
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It's not Isagi's fault when the topic comes up. Everyone is drinking—like an absurd amount.
On this particular night, they win their last game of the season, and what better way to celebrate than at Reo Mikage's overly lavished-out apartment? Bachira is the first one to suggest a party and, after minimum persuasion, Reo offers up his place. Tonight is also the night that everyone finds out that Reo has a fucking wine cellar. The type of wine cellars with evil-looking spiral staircases that can hold a multitude of foreign wines and hard liquor that Isagi can't even pronounce even if he tries.
And it's also not Isagi's fault when he agrees to play "truth or dare", foolishly thinking that it'll remain PG-13 as if he had forgotten that having Shidou and Bachira around makes everything but PG-13. Everyone is about four shots in when Shidou's tongue starts getting loose and suddenly everyone becomes interested in their teammates' sex lives — specifically Isagi's sex life with you.
So this is how it happens. This is how they get on this ridiculous tangent.
They’re guys, so the shift in conversation comes as no surprise to Isagi. Even though Isagi doesn’t actually have any legitimate interest in said conversation.
"You can't avoid answering by taking shots," Bachira almost slaps the shot glass from Isagi's grasp as he brings it up to his lips. "C'mon, just tell us already, Yoi."
Approximately ten minutes before his turn, Isagi has learned against his will that Shidou has slept with nearly half of the cheerleading team — all while wearing the school’s mascot costume. His best friend, Bachira Meguru, apparently has a slight degradation kink and is secretly a masochist. Reo and Nagi? Shared a few girlfriends between them during the course of high school and freshman year of college. And now it’s his turn.
"Fuck off," Isagi scoots away from Bachira and settles closer to Rin on his right, the only 'normal' one of the group for tonight. "Can we just skip to the next person?"
The whole team is sitting on the living room floor in a circle, each person clutching either a bottle of alcohol or one of Reo's weirdly expensive shot glasses that he says his father had bought from Switzerland. The whole team, minus Rin, also can't seem to let go of the conversation. Almost as if everyone knows the truth and is waiting for Isagi to say it himself.
"Nuh-uh," Reo sloppily points his finger at Isagi and leans slightly forward, almost faceplanting himself on the floor if Nagi hadn't pulled him back in time. "You've been avoiding all the juicy questions tonight, Isagi."
Maybe it's his secretly inflated ego but Isagi likes to think of himself as a good boyfriend. And a good boyfriend should keep all private details... private. Even if there are no details to share.
"You guys are drunk." Isagi points out and nudges an overly tipsy Bachira away with his foot.
Kunigami leans against the couch behind him and throws his head towards the ceiling. "That's the whole reason why we're playing this in the first place."
"So, answer the question, Isagi." Shidou tips his wine bottle back, it's nearly empty, and goes in for another drink. "How often do y'all do it?" He asks with a sly smirk.
Isagi bites his lips, trying his best to look threatening while the red from the alcohol blushes his cheeks. "I'm not answering."
Chigiri huffs from across and jabs Shidou's side. "Just give him a dare instead, this is getting boring."
"Rinnie, give him a good one."
Rin flicks Shidou a seething glare at the nickname but the other male laughs it off. Everyone does because, unlike Rin and Isagi, everyone is currently shitfaced. Still, Isagi can't help but wonder what his long-term rival has up his sleeves. They didn't have the best friendship, but at least they can somewhat acknowledge each other's skills to some degree, even if Rin can be a dick at times.
After what seems to be a long while, Rin speaks up. "I dare you to go home."
He says it so nonchalantly that it makes Isagi almost spit out his drink. "Excuse me?"
Rin repeats it again and Bachira, who's now seven shots in, chimes in. "Oh! So he can fuck his girlfriend, right?"
Rin rolls his eyes, wearing an exasperated expression. "Yeah, sure."
On any other day, Isagi would feel offended but that isn't the first emotion that overcomes him. He feels oddly... relieved? But he can't let the other drunkards know that, obviously. Rin gives him a knowing look and takes another shot.
"Dumbass, are you going to do it or not?"
Tonight's been weird, Isagi thinks. Is his rival looking out for him?
Isagi hesitantly stands up and settles his drink on a nearby tabletop before shuffling towards the front door to grab his gym bag and backpack in the corner. "You guys are losing your minds." He fakes a frown.
"Ugh, you're no fun Rinnie."
"Isagi Yoichi doesn't do shit with his girl, that's all I'm hearing."
"Waah? No, he definitely does! I think?"
He drowns out the background noises as he pulls out his phone and hovers over the Uber app. Hopefully, his teammates will forget about this interaction by tomorrow morning.
And while Isagi knows that it shouldn't matter, he would be lying to himself if he hadn't thought about taking things to the next level with you. Still, he feels like it shouldn't be his choice to decide the pace of the relationship. He's an average student in terms of academic performance and has already secured a spot on the national team before graduation. On the other hand, you're currently studying almost every night to keep your scholarship and aspire to get into graduate school. Isagi would be absolutely floored if he suddenly became a distraction — your distraction.
Which explains why during the course of the six-month relationship the most that you guys have gone far with is second base: makeout sessions and basically anything that's above the waistline.
Instead of heading back to his apartment, Isagi finds himself typing in your campus address into the Uber search bar. He doesn't really know why but maybe the combination of the alcohol and vulnerable conversations tonight really messed something in his weird brain. Your place is pretty close to his, so he can just walk home afterward, and plus he needs to see you to... what? To vent? Maybe that's what he needs.
It didn't take long when he finally arrived in front of your apartment. Most of the alcohol by now has settled down, so hopefully he doesn't look like a mess when he sees you.
Isagi rings the bell. There’s a moment’s silence, then a shuffling, the sound of the door clicking in the lock, and —
"Yoichi?"
Your hair is down and slightly damp as if you had just come out of the shower not long ago. You're wearing one of Isagi's old shirts that he gave you on one of your earlier dates, a large graphic tee featuring a faded-out character from a show he doesn't remember. The shirt hangs barely past your thighs and... Isagi's eyes bug out just a bit because of course you're not wearing shorts. A good deal of your thighs are exposed, and Isagi wonders why he feels so goddamn uncomfortable about that. 
He hears his name again and snaps his eyes up. "S-Sorry, is it late for you?"
Your laugh makes his stomach flip a few times. He knows it's late. It's nearly midnight but you're still making time to talk to him. God, he feels lucky to have someone who's as patient as you.
"You know you're always welcome over, right?" You step aside and motion your arms inside. "Come in, you look like you have a lot on your mind, Yoichi."
Isagi is also grateful that you like to keep the lights off when you study, excluding the tiny desk lamp you have, because the last thing he wants to happen is you making fun of his alcohol-ridden cheeks. He's pretty sure you can smell the tequila from his breath as he thanks you, and also sure that all that weird watermelon-flavored vaping smell from Karasu and Otoya is sticking to his clothes. Because you're the way you are, he knows that you'll offer to wash his clothes because the next thing you say is —
"You smell, Yoichi. And not in a good way!"
Okay, he didn't expect those exact words to fly out of your mouth, but he understands what your intentions are.
Isagi throws his hands up in defense and laughs. "The guys went a bit too hard, I know. Can't exactly help that."
He allows you to remove his jacket and you point toward your drawers. "I think I still have some of your clothes somewhere there. Just throw the rest in the hamper and I'll get to it."
And he does exactly that. Isagi ends up wearing a shirt that he could've sworn he lost forever ago and a pair of boxers that he lets you wear from time to time. It's not unusual for you to have some of his clothes since you guys have made it a tradition to try and have somewhat regular sleepovers on weekends that aren't crammed with football games and practice exams.
Once he hears your in-unit washing machine go off, he walks out and makes himself at home on your couch. It's been a long day, and he knows that he shouldn't extend his stay judging from your bookmarked textbooks and wall of sticky notes of god knows what formulas, but he finds the remote and flips on the television.
Oh, perfect. It seems that the show you two were binging from days ago is still paused.
"Hey," You plop down next to him and curl up to his side. Isagi tries his best to not stare at your thighs. "Wanna tell me what's on your mind?"
Isagi finds his shoulders immediately relaxing at your words and lets his mouth run with a small pout accompanying his lips afterward. "For the record, everyone was drunk so I doubt they would remember tomorrow, but they were pretty nosy about our sex lives."
You blink and tip your head. "Oh, well did you tell them?"
Isagi groans, breaking eye contact, and lifts a hand to his head to rub away the incoming headache. "No, I don't think they'll let go of it if I've told them."
It's stupid and irrational, Isagi knows that for sure. But he really doesn't want his private business being spread around by a bundle of testosterone and egotistical college guys. Not with your name in the mix.
"Then, do you want to change that?" You ask quietly, tugging Isagi out of his thoughts. Your words take him by complete surprise. In fact, that's the last thing he expected you to say. He'd expected more of your usual harmless complaints against his team.
Isagi withdraws back, just enough to see if maybe you're also drunk, but the sobriety of your straight face is enough to convince him that maybe you've gone insane instead. "What? We don't have to do anything just because of the guys. I want you to feel comfortable, you know?"
"I know!" You say in a rush and he flinches at your volume.
He makes out your flustered cheeks with the dim lighting from the television and suddenly you start fidgeting with the hems of your shirt. It's at that moment that Isagi takes note that he's been shamelessly staring at your thighs for god knows how long.
You bury your face into his shoulders as you continue. "Are you bored in our relationship, Yoi?"
Now Isagi is really confused and, frankly, a bit scared. Are you going to break up with him? Or do you think he's going to break up with you?
A free hand cradles your head while the other takes a tight grasp of your hands. Isagi holds you close as he places a longing kiss on your forehead. "Of course not, why on earth would you even think that? Is everything alright?"
He feels your body squirming around for a bit and then a shaky sigh. "We just—we never do anything. I don’t want you to feel embarrassed when you’re around your friends."
Ah shit, that’s where he fucked up.
"Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to come off that way. I’m not ashamed of what we currently do. I just think it’s best to keep things private to ourselves at the end of the day as opposed to sharing it with others." He explains.
"But don’t you ever just wanna do more than making out?"
He blinks and his mouth gapes. "What?"
"All we ever do is make out, you don’t touch me anywhere else but my chest… don't you want to go further?" Your voice lowers significantly at the last bit. 
You’re still not looking to meet his gaze. And you’re actively trying not to because Isagi feels the weight of your head leaning against his body more. He doesn’t push it and instead accepts it. Clearly, this is something that he didn’t foresee. Maybe you’re also like him, uncertain and awkward about bringing up the topic. 
Isagi arranges his face in the most neutral expression, ignoring his thundering heart, before lifting your head off his shoulders. "Then do you want to mess around a bit?"
You answer in a way that makes him melt. Your arms sling around his neck, lips soon finding solitude against his, seemingly not caring if his breath does smell one too many shots of alcohol from earlier. Isagi is taken aback by your sudden boldness and it takes him a moment to register what’s going on before returning the same energy back. A quick swipe from your tongue is all he needs to know that you’ve been touch-starved for too long.
You're straddling his lap now and the boxers Isagi's currently wearing is doing a rather poor job of masking the huge tent that's grinding right against you. He pulls away from the heated kiss, watching in a daze as a trail of salvia connects between you two, and winces when he feels your weight pressing against his length. 
"W-Wait, slow down a bit…" He tries to lift you up but you stay steady in his lap.
Your hands rest on his chest and you shake your head. "I wanna go all the way tonight. Can we do that, Yoichi?" There’s something about the way his name rolls off your tongue that sets Isagi off but he has to make about one thing.
"Are you sure? Like positive?"
And the heat in your gaze holds a clear promise — you want this more than anything.
He tries to lift you up slightly again, and this time you follow along. Isagi feels you flinch under his touch as his calloused fingers trace their way down to your panties, toying with the lace ribbon at the front before slipping underneath the cotton fabric. It’s completely soaked through and the way his index finger easily slides between your folds has you almost crying out in embarrassment. 
“Baby,” Isagi hisses through his teeth as he gets familiar with the foreign gummy walls. “All this for me?”
Your boldness from before seems to have dissipated once Isagi took control. You only sigh in response when Isagi nips at the space between your neck and shoulder. Isagi groans against your skin when you find yourself sinking deeper into his finger from the touch.
“Touch me more, please…” 
Having you this close to him, holding him, spilling out these phrases that he didn’t expect to hear, it’s all too much for Isagi. His lips reconnect with yours again, this time with more force and desperation. Your body shudders and twitches under his palm as he picks up his rhythm, inserting an additional finger and then a third one. 
“Does that feel good, baby? Tell me how you like it.” Isagi pays close attention to the small shifts on your face as he attempts to stretch out your walls bit by bit. “Let me know if it’s too much and I’ll stop.”
You bury your face deep into his shoulders once more. “Don’t stop, it feels really good, Yoichi.” It’s his turn to twitch when he feels a hand palming at his own arousal. “Can I have a turn, too?” You have no idea how much weight your words carry. A simple question like that makes Isagi’s stomach twist in knots.
“Y-Yeah, you can.”
The position is a bit awkward but, eventually, it ends with your hands engulfing around his throbbing length poking out from his boxers while he’s knuckle-deep in your entrance. The slick, wet sounds coming from your folds is the only audible noise in the room, other than your occasional mews and Isagi's muffled grunts as you pump him off.
When his length is embarrassingly covered in his pre, Isagi releases his digits from your warmth. "I'm going to finish at this rate, baby." He breathes out.
You shyly meet his eyes, both of you jolting at the incredibly warm and slippery mess you've created from playing with each other when you line his length against your entrance. "I'm going to put it in, Yoi." Your voice is shaky and your free hand grips his thigh as you slowly descend.
Isagi breathes out a raspy gasp as he watches your heat swallow his length. Seeing his arousal disappear inch by inch is a sight that he’ll burn in his mind forever and, when your walls squeeze around him, it takes everything in his power to not cum right then and there. His hands immediately find home on your hips, thumbs digging into the sides and his digits kneading at the flesh of your ass. You’re tight, hot, and overwhelming all at the same time. The feeling consumes him entirely.
"Fuck," Isagi throws his head back and screws his eyes shut. "Don't move—give me a second."
You moan in return, eyes shifting away from the sight. "Take your time, Yoi."
Isagi lets you cockwarm him for a few seconds, feeling himself slowly calming down as he adjusts to your tight walls and begins to thrust slowly. You don't bother shielding your moans, and it makes things all just a bit harder for him to concentrate.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing, only going off of what he’s seen from the occasional porn videos he’s seen. Isagi thinks he’s doing a decent job, even though his mind is going absolutely crazy right now. Your erratic moans are right against his ears and the sounds coming from your warmth are the only things keeping him in check. Isagi’s palms rest steadily on your ass as he continues plundering in and out of your sloppy folds from the couch. It isn’t long before you’re shaking and sweating against him, making your earlier shower completely pointless.
You cry out, over-sensitive and shaky, clenching down on him. Isagi's vision gets hazy and soon he realizes that his eyes are misting over, small pools of tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, threatening to smear his cheeks. He'd never expected something like this can render him so weak.
Your voice grows hoarse from the volume you're emitting and Isagi hopes you don't receive a noise complaint from your neighbors tomorrow. He leans forward, helpless to let your cries go unanswered, and smothers the noises with his mouth. Your ass meets every thrust he pushes forward and feeling the familiar heat building up in his stomach, Isagi knows he isn't going to last that much longer.
One of his hands snakes up your shirt and cups one of your breasts, toying with your nipple, while the other hovers over your clit. He feels your entire body trembling, chest heaving, and walls throbbing all around him. "Yoichi, it's too good...!"
"Hold out just a bit longer, baby." Isagi's thumb begins circling your bud and it's the final push for you. Your mouth tilts forward, hips bucking and grinding, and you squeeze him so tight that he doesn't have the time to pull out, coating your walls with his white mess. Everything feels hot like fire spreading across his entire body.
Once he feels your body slack against his, he snaps out of his thoughts and immediately pulls out, grimacing at the sheer amount of cum that flows out of you.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I'll run to the store tomorrow morning, baby." His breathing is labored but he still manages to press his lips to your forehead, and he inhales. "You did amazing."
"Mhmm," You make a vague noise that sounds like a bit like acknowledgment to his ears.
Isagi loosens his arms around your body, shifting your figure to sit up by the edge of the couch, and waddles to the bathroom to fetch a damp towel. When he returns, your eyes are half-lidded and you look like you're one second away from passing out from exhaustion. He's not sure if it's from the sex or that you probably stayed up all day studying.
When the sounds of his footsteps come closer, you peer up and lock eyes, taking his breath away. "Will you stay the night?" And he almost laughs on the spot.
"I'm not gonna do a hit and run, baby. You really think I'm doing that?"
He removes your ruined panties and cleans up the cum running down your inner thighs. After fetching you a set of new underwear, he finds the last of his strength for the night and scoops you up, moving only a few feet to the comfort of your twin-sized mattress. Isagi tucks you in slightly, leaving enough room for him to slide in when he changes into a new pair of bottoms.
"You're too nice to be an ass, I guess." You reply, tracing small patterns onto his chest.
He slings an arm over you, pulling you closer, and lets one of your legs rest over his stomach. "Hey, I can be mean when I want to!" Isagi shoots back.
Your chuckles send vibrations down his chest. "So, are you going to tell your friends about tonight?"
"Fuck no," Isagi presses another kiss to your head again and tightens his grip around you. "I don't even want to know what they do with that information." There's a pause and he blinks. "Are you going to tell anyone?"
You stay quiet for a while and Isagi groans, knowing the exact person you were going to text when the opportunity arrives. "Just Rin! You know that we're best friends, right?"
Ugh, he doesn't really want his rival to know about his sex life but he can't exactly stop you from talking about these types of things to your childhood friend. Isagi rubs circles into your back and pouts slightly. "Keep the details to a minimum."
"No promises, Yoichi." But he knows that you're only joking. And even if you did spew all the details to Rin, at least Isagi can sleep peacefully at night knowing that the other male minds own his business.
A yawn escapes from your lips and you snuggle deeper against his body. "Do you have a busy day tomorrow?"
"Nah, everything's pretty much wrapped up for me." He responds, feeling the fatigue catching up as well. "Did you want me to stay over again tomorrow?"
"Only if you promise to add a pack of condoms to the shopping list."
He smiles, jotting down the mental note before shutting his eyes. "Anything for you, baby."
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another note: hehe ty for making it this far!! idk why i named it seven minutes in heaven bc it has nothing to do w the game but lets just say the whole sex experience lasted seven mins bc that's p normal for first time ig??
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pullhisteeth · 1 year
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i just found this blog and i already love it, can i get a comfort fic with eddie comforting reader after getting broken up? im not sure if this is too vague of an ask, but thank you<33
hi, thank u so much! I hope this is what you had in mind ♡ you come to Eddie after a breakup and he tries to contain his own feelings. [2.1k] contains hurt/comfort, breakup, bad end of relationship, friends to lovers (kind of), fluff
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When Wayne shakes Eddie awake, it's half one in the morning. He knows this because the only light in his room is coming from the digital clock by his bed; big red numbers blaring 01:34.
"Eddie, son, you need'ta get outta bed," Wayne tells him, voice low. There's something else there, too; Eddie's not sure if he's still too far away from awake to really hear him properly, but he sounds worried.
"Wha- You alright?" he says, rubbing his eyes with his fist and sitting up on his elbow.
"Off to work, but she's outside," Wayne says, and Eddie knows what he means. He knows you're out there, knows the state you must be in. You're the only person besides himself who could make Wayne so concerned.
Without another word, Eddie tears off his comforter and makes his way through his room, shoving past his uncle, to the front door. When he swings it open he finds you, sat slumped on the step, and though your back's to him he knows you're crying.
Wayne pats him on the shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look as he leaves. Before he goes, he turns at the bottom of the stairs and crouches in front of you. Holding your shoulder gently, he whispers something Eddie can't hear, and gives you a light kiss on the crown of your head.
As he drives off, Eddie sinks down next to you, squatting so he can lean over and smooth your hair down.
"You gonna come inside?" he says softly, trying with all his might to keep his voice level, for your sake. His fingers toy with strands of your hair, and he notes that it's cold. You've been outside for a while.
You sniff and rub your hand across your face, before rising awkwardly to stand. You turn and follow him in, eyes trained down on your feet, taking his hand as it reaches for yours.
Eddie closes the door behind you and goes to the kitchen. While he fills up a cup with water, you toe off your sneakers and sit stiffly on the couch. The Munson trailer is like your own home, and has been for many years, but you feel like an alien in your own body, some contorted version of yourself possessing it.
Placing the cup on the table, Eddie takes a seat beside you, keeping his distance but angled towards you. He can't get you to look at him.
"How long were you out there?" he asks, unsure where to start but hoping this might ease you in.
You sniff again and wipe your cheek with the back of your hand. As you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, you say, "only an hour."
Your voice is wet and thick, like swimming through treacle. It prises open a crack in Eddie's heart, the one that appeared when you came bounding into his bedroom to tell him Adam Jenkins had asked you out. It got bigger and bigger each time you told him about the dates you went on, grinning wide and gushing about this boy Eddie could not believe you'd settle for. It nearly split his heart in two the first time you came running to him with tears all down your pretty blouse, the first time he'd stood you up.
The good dates dwindled after that, and the bad ones became normal. In fact, the dates ceased altogether a few months ago, and instead you became quiet; insular. You stopped calling Eddie, and your visits to his home were few and far between.
Eddie had chewed Wayne's ear off more times than he could count over those months. But, much to Wayne's frustration, he left you to it.
"Why didn’t you just come in?" he asks you sadly, trying not to think about you outside in the cold crying over a stupid boy.
"I…" you start, but it won't come out. So he reaches for you, taking your hand slowly. When you don't protest he scoots over so your thigh touches his, and he locks his fingers with yours.
His thumb rubbing circles in the back of your hand seems to slow your breathing. He makes a note of it.
"I haven't been round for so long, I just… felt bad," you sigh, and if you crying on his front step hadn't finally broken his heart, the way your words come out all blue might just do it.
"You're allowed here whenever you want, sweets," he says, voice hitching when you hiccup another sob. Instinctively his hand leaves yours and winds around your shoulder, pulling you in, smoothing up and down your arm. You fit in like his other half, head resting on his shoulder as he lets you cry. It's thicker sobs than before, heaved between more hiccups and tormented sighs, and though it's so difficult to listen to he forces himself to, keeping the rhythm going up and down your arm.
"I'm sorry," you breathe out as the crying calms.
"Don't say that," he replies, his own cheek resting on the top of your head. "Don't gotta be sorry for anythin'."
"Yes I do."
"No, you really don't."
"I've ignored you for weeks, Eds, and now I'm crying all over your pyjamas."
"You could throw my pyjamas in the lake and I'd still love you," he says without thinking. If you notice his slip up you don't let on, though he thinks it must be because you've been saying it to each other since you met, two scruffy kids in middle school. You just don't realise what it means for him now, all these years later.
In fact, he gets a laugh out of you. It's a watery giggle, bubbling quietly up your throat, but it's still there and it makes him bite his lip to hold down a triumphant grin.
"I didn't know where else to go," you tell him. "I couldn't stay, not when he… He dumped me, Eds!"
"Oh, sweets, I-"
"No, you don't understand, he's been an asshole for months and he dumped me! That's not fair, I should have done it ages ago, I knew he was bad and I just couldn't and I-"
"Hey, hey," he coos as your breathing picks up, lowering himself to the floor where he kneels in front of you. He holds your arms in his hands and says, "c'mon, calm down, baby."
He can't help all the petnames. Each time he calls you one he wants to kick himself for being so crass when you're so shaken up, but old habits die hard.
"Deep breaths," he tells you in a whisper, hands now rubbing both arms, up and down in soothing motions. You do as he says, shutting your eyes tight and taking a breath in through your nose, holding it in, and blowing it slowly out of your mouth, just like he taught you when you had your first panic attack in high school.
"The worst part," you start, "is that I already miss him."
He just leans up on his knees and wraps you into a hug. He's at a loss, with no idea how to help you through this.
He settles on telling you it's gonna be okay over and over as he rocks you and you hug him back, crying softly into the shoulder of his t-shirt.
"Can I stay here?" you ask, mouth wetting the fabric.
"'Course you can," he says. "'S'your home too."
"Thanks, Eds."
"Stop that."
"Thank you," you repeat, and he feels the smile on your face.
"Stop it," he teases.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." You punctuate the final one with a kiss to his neck – it's light, almost impossible to feel, but he does, and then he feels the way you stop stiff on your way back up to sitting.
"Shit," you breathe. "Sorry, I-"
"It's okay," he assures you, pulling you the rest of the way up so he can look you in the eye. "I'll grab you some pyjamas, you can clean up in the bathroom," he says, wiping the pad of his thumb under your eye where your mascara's run in watery black rivers down your cheeks.
Leaning into his hand, eyes fluttering, you says, "thanks."
He does as promised, fetching you a t-shirt and some clean pyjama pants from his room while you drink some of the water on the table. You slip into the bathroom, giving him a slight smile as you disappear behind the door, and when you close it he nearly screams into one of the sofa cushions.
Instead, he busies himself locking up the trailer, switching off lights and doing the last few dishes Wayne left behind. By the time he's done you're emerging from the bathroom, face clean if a little puffy, donning his clothes and he reconsiders the cushion-scream, because he can't believe someone can look as good as you post-breakup cry in clothes that aren't meant to fit you.
Holding his hand out, he pulls you to his room, kicking stray laundry to the corners as he goes.
"Need anything else?" he asks as you settle on the side of his bed by the wall, pulling the comforter up to your chin.
"You," you breathe, almost so quiet he doesn't hear it. Stopping still he looks at you with what must be a confused expression because you giggle at him and roll your eyes.
"Not like that, you perv," you tease and he relaxes, shoulders slumping in relief, because as much as he does wish you meant it like that, he's not an asshole who'd take advantage of his emotional best friend, and he's glad you don't think he would.
"Just need a hug," you clarify, and so he climbs in next to you after switching off the light and closing the door. He wraps you up with ease, pulling you in so you're slotted into his side, face at his chest.
"Thanks, Eddie."
"I told you, you don't gotta thank me."
"I know, but I want to."
"Oh." 
After a beat, you say, "He was an asshole, wasn't he?"
"Yeah," he replies. "But it's okay."
You groan into his t-shirt and tense up in frustration, so he rubs those soothing shapes into your back.
"I hate myself," you whine.
"Hey," he says, voice firm, pulling you back so he can look at you in the dark. "Don't you dare say that. 'S'not your fault he's a dick."
You're silent, showing no sign of stopping him.
"You're the best person I know. I dunno how he was so fuckin' blind to the fact you're literally amazing but that's his fault, not yours."
You're looking back at him with wide eyes, but there's no sense of surprise on your face. It's more like you're enthralled, entranced by what he's saying.
"You deserve everything, sweets. Not some guy who makes you cry."
"He really is just some guy, huh," you muse, and it makes him laugh, a loud, brash sound that you flinch at, before joining him. Soon, the two of you are laughing together, bent double, happy tears springing down your faces.
"He is!" Eddie agrees, voicing levelling as you continue giggling. "Just some dickhead guy. Seriously," he says as he wipes tears off your face, "I hope you don't think he has any sense."
"I just don't get why I stuck around for so long," you admit.
"Feelings are weird," he tells you, sounding far wiser than he feels. "Make you do weird things."
"You say that like you know," you say.
He hums in response, hand still on your face, holding it like you're threatening to leave him all alone.
"You should sleep," he whispers, dodging honesty, lying by omission.
It's your turn to hum, settling back into him. He lies still as you doze off, deciding to keep himself awake until he knows you're asleep. He's not far behind you, though, slipping into sleep with you wrapped around him. He doesn't mind if this is as far as it goes for now, doesn't mind waiting for you to get over this mess, but he'll do just that – wait. Wait until you're ready, wait until he can tell you the truth. Not yet, though.
-
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hey i followed u for archaeology but since you seem to be open to sex ed questions i thought i'd shoot haha.
so i'm a trans guy, i don't have bottom dysphoria, i would like to use my vagina during sex for bottoming. but i have vaginismus. real bad. and possible vaginal atrophy. not looking to treat it with advice from this blog, not coming here for medical assistance, but to put it simply there is no way i can use that thang. hole is closed for business. even to pinky fingers. that shit hurted.
i can and have topped, and bottomed for anal sex. so that's not an issue. i'm open to doing those things. but damn it i would like to use my pussy once in a while and just can't. and i have virgin-adjacent prowess / confidence / experience in sex so i'm bad at communicating my needs and wants.
you got any.. i dont know.. tips? advice? for telling a potential partner that the front hole's off limits without making them think im unsexy? the anxiety's so bad i've fully rejected people i really liked for serious relationships, and turned down hookups, because some part of my brain thinks i'm not worth having sex with if my partner can't use my vagina. especially since testosterone has given me "abnormal" anatomy that i only trust other trans people with and being t4t means i get a lot of people who expect vagina from me, who i then have to disappoint.
this is a stupid specific question so i apologise it isn't really general sex ed but i guess i just need some communication tips because i dont even know where to start.
Okay, first off, I'm sorry that it's taken me a while to respond to this, but I wanted to really think about my answer. Also, for the record: this is always the kind of sex ed question that I am willing to answer. I think more people need to be willing to talk about this sort of stuff.
The primary thing I want to address is wherever you're getting your definition of normal, both in terms of anatomy and sexual function. Because the circumstances you describe are wholly within the realm of 'normal experiences' for people who have a vagina. Vaginismus, vulvodynia, and vaginal atrophy are not relegated to trans men. You are not abnormal. There is nothing wrong with you.
A lot of the porn out there featuring trans men does have them receiving vaginal penetration. Porn is not a representative sample of the population. Do not let porn define what sex is for you.
Personally, my advice would be to treat this as a litmus test for potential sexual partners. If someone wants something and doesn't care/is put off that it hurts you, that is not a person you want to be having sex with. If someone is "disappointed" because you won't receive vaginal penetration, that is their fucking problem, not yours. There are so many things you can do that do not involve vaginal penetration—be excited about those!
As for bringing this up with potential partners, I'm a big advocate for early and honest communication. If it looks like you might be getting down and dirty with someone, you can just say something along the lines of "hey, heads up, but I don't do vaginal penetration/front hole is closed for business/etc." If you really want to get ahead of the issue, you could even put this in your bio on various apps.* *You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you can choose to elaborate as to why.
I'll also point out that there's a halfway option here. It is totally valid to say "look, I am into this thing (vaginal penetration) in concept, but not in physicality." You can talk about it. You can text about it. You can do these things while you're doing other stuff! It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
To me, it sounds like you have 100% of the necessary components for having sex: the desire to have sex in the first place, activities that you can/do enjoy, and a willing partner. That's it. That's all you need.
You are worth so much more than what a single part of your body can/can't offer. Sex does not equal any sort of penetration, vaginal or otherwise. Find someone you trust, get creative, and don't be afraid to enjoy yourself.
-Reid
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pettydollie · 2 months
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cookies, please!
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of course! here is all of our cookies, please take a look at every one
rules for this blog are simple. mdni on smut, NO incest, dni if ur racist, homophobic, ableist, etc
be KIND. i am always sweet to my followers/visitors and i expect the same back
please dont ever compare my work with anyone elses. everyone has different writing styles/thought processes
i dont block people often, but if i do its not for no reason
do not bother me by sending the same request over and over again. i am a VERY slow person lmao i need time to get my ideas down. i always work on requests before my personal ideas, but i still have other things im working on. i will always see your requests/asks but i probably wont respond right away
ive never had a problem with anyone on this app, dont start some unnecessary shit
keep your mean opinions to yourself. i am absolutely welcome to feedback, i'd love if you could give me tips! but please be respectful
please interact: if u like my writing ofc hehe, if u have a request(s), if you just wanna talk, if u wanna vent slide into my dms pls!!
my readers are all similar! they are girly, bubbly, and sweet. unless i say otherwise, they are always fem
i am comfortable with writing: fluff, suggestive themes, character x character, slight gore, romantic, and platonic, smut (im not rlly good at it yet)
normally don't do second parts to oneshots unless i really want to. sorry :(
when you request something, i'd prefer if it was in detail. for example, a simple, "can u write angst where matt is depressed" is okay but it will take me such a long time to get to ur req because i need to think of what i wanna do, yk? if u put it in a better description like, "can u do angst where matt is struggling with depression while in a relationship with yn and she leaves him bc she thinks he needs to work on himself", thats much better and gives me more to work with !
but dont be upset if i change ur request just a bit. sometimes i dont feel comfortable with touching on certain topics so i might change a bit of the plot c:
i dont mind spam liking/reblogging at all!! please feel free to :D
if u read all these rules, click on "pettydoll's bakery" on my pinned post for my main masterlist
ty! <333
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girlwithfish · 3 months
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and of course since hes acting like hes normal and nice and like nothing shitty happened between us- you know i guess its not so black and white where this person is bad or this person is entirely good but i guess to me he is mostly bad. even though its confusing to think about and look back upon but im having some thoughts rn and idk its confusing. To me he is not a good person bc how he was to me. he can be the nicest person to other people but to me he was abusive. and i feel bad a lot where idk if its me or if i made him that way toward me or its my bpds fault and whatnot but regardless you should not be fighting your partner and his decisions and actions to be deliberately physically aggressive w/ me are on him. i think thats how i feel about it atm or how im trying 2 make sense of it. like yeah im sure hes a great guy to other people to his family whatever but to me he was not and thats ok if other people dont know that or understand its just something i have 2 deal with and move on and i think i am moving on more bc i havent been nearly as angry anymore the past week compared to a month ago, compared to 2 weeks ago etc. but i get scared i'm absolving him or something. idk if it matters. i guess u just go through something shit and traumatic and have 2 move on and even though there are still moments where im angry or have a vindictive part of me that wishes people knew how shit he was idk thats not how it works and closure isnt real and abuse is complicated. i guess. but anyway i was going 2 say lol that shortly after the breakup he was saying he saw my tumblr blog still even tho i changed my url and i was really paranoid hed get angry w/ me for talking about the breakup and the stuff that was coming out for me mentally like the abuse i talked about it more on here after i was out and processing and things were coming back up that id locked away. and he was like yeah i can still see ur blog but idc what u post haha - acting like im being silly or paranoid and being nonchalant about it and even insinuating that my followers have a warped view of what happened or something based on what im saying but he doesnt care idk. some bs like that. anyway and it just made me mad at the time bc i remember back in May of last year i had posted vaguely about getting into a "physical altercation" and we were both home and he confronted m in person and was pretty pissed and talking about some of his mutuals from discord follow me on tumblr and snatched my phone out of my hand and deleted the post lol. so it made me mad how he decides to act all nonchalant and like oh ofc idc what u post and idk how to describe it. but yeah that makes me mad lol. and i was slowly dying in that relationship and i so badly tried to stick it out the end of november even though when i look back on my mental and emotional state i see so clearly i was getting boiled alive just dying and idk. the relationship was bad for many reasons many reasons im sure i contributed to and i have to admit i contributed to but the abuse and trauma i went through it was messed up and i still dont have the answers for how someone who supposedly loved me could treat me in so many horrible ways but i know thats not how love is supposed 2 be or a relationship. yipee
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macabremads · 7 months
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rp rules/wants
꒰ ͜͡➸ Hello there! I appreciate your time in checking out my updated rules and preferences for starting an RP with me. Below, you'll find all the essential information you need before sending a DM.
Press HERE to go to the request/character list form!
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𓆩*𓆪 wants 𓆩*𓆪 - literate replies (doesn't need to be ungodly long, but I feel as though most substance falls in a medium reply length. ie. one phone sized discord reply) -I am not too keen on writing ships depending on the character chosen. Mainly because I prefer oc x character, but am willing to discuss different plots if you have something in mind! -I prefer to not do one reply a week, I am quite active on my page and am looking for someone that likes to do multiples throughout the week. -I will only do doubles! this is because I feel like there is always a part of the group that feels like they're not having a good experience because their ideas don't always align with the other party. -I totally understand if life gets in the way and you're unable to reply! However, if we have established a normal routine or made plans to write and you're not free, please do just let me know (: communication is key! -smut is not always essential, but I am not too keen on doing ftb plots unless they're really interesting, mainly because I feel like the physicality aspect of relationships builds things in a more nuanced way, and because I just like to write smut lmao -I am in BST time, which usually means that I am the one further ahead with timezones, because of this, I tend to be the one staying up late for the other (im looking at u, usa peeps hehe), so it is really important to have good communication if you're not free so that I am not staying up late for ya if we made plans (: -communication, communication, communication. if you feel as though something in your rp isn't going the way you want, communicate! if you feel like you want something changed? communicate! I love coming up with new ideas and exploring new stuff, I will never be offended and am keen on switching to new plots if you feel like you're bored of the current one! -I love using visuals and usually include a visual section in my discord servers! so, if you like it too, do let me know!
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
𓆩*𓆪 rules 𓆩*𓆪 -18+ only! (please do not message or interact if you have an age-less blog) - 3rd person replies, I don't write in 1st! - I do not tolerate any racism, homophobia, etc. - most of the things that I am not okay with writing are quite obvious and standard for most people, however; we can chat more about this in dm's! - in saying this ^^ I will add that my only hard-limit is writing substance abuse issues. by this, I don't like writing someone using hard drugs (m*th, c*caine), stuff of that nature. (I don't mind alcohol, smoking, w*ed). I don't mind it being in the prompt, or mentioned, I just don't wish to act out the action of doing it. This includes writing OD's, I don't mind if it's included, I just won't write it in detail. -I only rp on discord and use 'tupper' to keep everything put together! if you haven't used it, no problem at all! it's really simple (:
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
thank you so much for taking time to read! if you have any additional questions, please feel free to send them to me!
xx sao
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
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What are your post-str Shinaya hcs?
this got so long. its my blog i am not putting a read more. deal with it. its shinaya hour
i want and need a role reversal. i want drama. post str shinaya break up without even being together first. ayano keeps waiting for shintaro to Do something because she's like. okay its been 2~ years and by now she CRINGES at remembering how she acted around him so shes like ok i CANNOT cling to him like that AGAIN. if he wants to come around he will but shintaro is yknow. like that. so obviously he fucking doesnt like honestly hes still sort of acting the same around her like less mean but still a bit dismissive, mostly out of embarrassment though cuz mekatrio wants to kill him+harutaka and momo tease him when he has Moments with ayano so he kinda wants to spare himself that embarrassment so hes like sweet in private then cold in public and ayanos like ????????????????????? does he like me or not what is going ON but also ayano and her amazing awesome self steem issues are like he fucking HATES me im the most annoying person in the world !!!!!!
so she eventually keeps her distance and obviously he notices and shintaros like oh fuck i messed UP because now theres like this sort of misunderstanding and the only way to clear it up is healthy communication but you know DAMN WELL he wont do that but somehow he finds it less mortifying to go around looking like a kicked puppy in a wet cardboard box around her desperately trying to get her attention making ayano even MORE confused.
eventually after a while of being in a circus i think hed get the balls to ask her out himself. probably bc of haruka/takane/momo telling him he's a fucking idiot bitch. anyways i think shintaro tries to kiss ayano and they hit their faces against each others and it really hurts💗🙏
btw thats only them getting together i think. but also that's how they break up and get back together over and over and over with like the exact same precedure everytime. on and off shinaya my beloved.
anc duhhh obviously im gonna talk abt the yuukei quartet Have u met me. takanes like another funny part of the whole thing like i know ive talked abt it but im obsessed with codependent shintaka *holds head* bc ayanos jealous of takane for how vulnerable shintaro is with them unlike with her and takane is individually close to both so shes kinda being dragged by both of them but especially shintaro forcing them to play as their relationship therapist and she fucking hates it but someone has to fucking do it apparently because shintaro and ayano cant talk like normal people. haruka keeps more distance than takane like its something they need to do themselves yknow and tells takane they shouldnt rly get in the way but shinaya KEEP going to her and also takanes insane and still feels responsible for shintaro bc (gestures at the whole ene thing) yeah so its tough for her to say no. like takanes obsessed with shintaro plus sees how pathetic shinaya are being and takane enomoto when they decide to obsess over others so they dont have to think about herself am i right😃<- what haruka tells her . she does not appreciate the comment. the whole thing also causing harutaka drama ougghhh shinaya is so messy that theyre contagious. but haruka is the 1 yuukei quartet member with any emotional intelligence so harutaka have actual communciation so theyre more caught up abt this being like a sorta messed up thing between the whole group and their relationships. on and off shinaya ft unwilling(?) relationship therapist takane ft an even more unwilling haruka who just wants his damn girlfriend to stop cancelling their dates to go stop shintaro from crying at ayanos feet begging her to take him back for the second time this month
ok and.........actual Break Up shinaya where its like Enough for ayano bc thats a fucking insane relationship to have so shes like lol maybe i should get therapy👍 and shintaro again is pathetic and desperately trying to gain her affections back but he just looks so pathetic and its funny. they dont rly stop hanging out bc they wouldnt do that and also its not like shintaro will just leave the dan LOL but thru it all the mekatrio are like KILLING HIM with their eyes especially kano god dont get me started on the one sided(?) kanoshin of it all. i love kano and shintaro having this weird fucking tension during the breakup augh kano little meowmeow the amount of self hatred he feels ok im getting sidetracked shinaya ends up together again basically. in my sitcom delusion shintaro finishes his first song Ever and its abt her and then she hears it everywhere and its so damn embarrassing bc theyre broken up but she still likes him so much it makes her look stupid amd the stupid song brings them back together ummmm sorry. my shinaya era (holds head) i will study them under a microscope
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goobiestar · 1 year
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hello can u tell me abt where the trans goosefeather hc came from? i havent been in the wc fandom for year but i am ALL for trans icon goosefeather!!! i'm just curious as to whether it's based on something i missed in the books?
I’m glad you asked this because i really wanted to give out my serious actual response on why i made this headcanon, because recently I’ve been worried of people thinking that the hc is repetitive on my blog or really annoying and my only personality
So NO.. nothing about goose being a bit transcoded was ever established in the books, and there was never a line of dialogue where someone might think “oh hes trans” the main transman icons being Redtail and Rowanstar.
I personally, have projected myself to Goosefeather since early 2018 and I’ve looked to him as a sort of.. runaway for me? I thought of trans goose when me myself was starting (and still) questioning my gender, and whenever I was having a dysphoric moment while I’m in the closet I made Goosefeather trans and proud as a comfort
For storywise, I think the idea is new and fresh and not like other Goosefeather ideas i have seen, I think it’s stupid that no one likes him at the start of HIS book for him being weird or “talks to himself”, I think he should’ve been given more light into his character; so I made him trans for his story, with not many characters being acceptive of him like in his actual canon book other than him just seeing dead people and cats saying “oh .. hes there.. not being normal thats weird”
Again, to mention this was a huge projection and I think him also having a short but sweet t4t relationship was another projection just with kits resulting in the end
Also you don’t have to like the headcanon, or accept it in your au, because in the end Trans goose is a huge projection im very passionate about, lol srry
Sorry this isn’t explained very well, and how long this response is, I just find the headcanon very important to my well being—As i myself, is a closeted trans man and sadly; I dont think I’m ever gonna come out, I wanna see a character that doesn’t succeed, SUCCEED in one thing unlike me :,)
(Also i speedrunning this whole thing, sorrrryyyyyyytyyyyyy some yhings r wrongly said or misspelled)
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v-anrouge · 1 year
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Hello, I would like to participate, it is your beautiful event \^^/, well my love language is definitely: physical contact sometimes yes and sometimes no, I love hugs, caresses, kisses on the face, snuggling etc, but not so frequent, sporadically could say, I need to breathe xd the love language I'm looking for: someone who can read me easily?) I like it when they know me so well that they know what I'm going to do next or how I feel, it's literally even funny for me like, how did you know that? :D I guess I'm also an easy book to read, also someone caring and understanding uvu, don't yell at me bc I hate it when someone raise their voices at me it makes me nervous :')) ,My hobbies are singing while I do something, cleaning well, soccer, making bracelets and playing at the spa/manicure or beauty salon (I love this, I have fun pretending I'm in a beauty salon and attending to my friend while we gossip)my partner can have any hobby~my tastes: I love people who are the opposite of me :D, serious (not so much, I mean that he has that air of seriousness) and orderly, I need someone like that in my life ah, I'm very distracted so I'm attracted to someone who knows very well what he does and where he goes, I love bossy people because it gives me the impulse to rebel to annoy them, but then I make them laugh so they forget their anger ewer , that would be all ~ I'm glad I found your blog it feels cozy : '3 Thank you for everything <3
IM GLAD U LIKE MY BLOG DEAR<3 VERY WELL
starting off with.....
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RIDDLE he enjoys the affection you give him, it makes his heart beat so so fast and his cheeks turn red, he too can get overwhelmed if shown too much affection tho, especially on the start of the relationship because he's not used to things like that, slowly he'll get more used to it and then you guys will rarely ever overwhelm eachother with affection, riddle isn't the best at reading people but he pays a lot of attention to you since you're so special to him, so most of the times he can predict or at least have an idea or what you're thinking, and what you want
riddle loves hearing you sing while you both clean cook or organize things it makes him feel very calm and makes his heart all warm, riddle loves the bracelets you make for him especially if they're matching with your bracelets, he rarely ever takes them off unless absolutely necessary when he does take them off he puts them in a place he's sure to not forget or lose them, one time he lost one of the bracelets you made him and he felt so terrible and guilty he wanted to lock himself in his room thinking you would start hating him (it was on the very very early stages of your relationship so go easy on him if u ever decide to tease him about it)
riddle is a very good definition of bossy, although he is significantly less strict with you something's take a lot of time (and therapy) to change, at first riddle hates when you'd disobey him and break the rules on purpose just because you found it entertaining but everytime you'd always make up for him so slowly he started finding it more fun and annoying, unless you cross the line then he'll do something both you and him hate which is scream, riddle is definitely not the perfect lover his childhood really messed him up but he's trying his best, he hates screaming at you especially because he knows how much you hate it when anyone raises their voice in times like this riddle will ask for a bit of time which dont normally pass from 1/2 hours so he can prepare himself to apologize ik two HOURS to apologize??? well to be fair he was really nervous that you'd break up with him so don't be too harsh on him :((
overall riddle really really loves you and the fact you're basically opposites is actually very good for him, he grew up only seeing one perspective which was extremely unhealthy so being this close to someone who is the opposite will make him learn a lot and heal faster, he truly is grateful for having you as his lover
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JAMIL he really appreciates that you're not overly affectionate don't get me wrong, jamil likes affection it's just that he's really not used to getting so much attention so it can overwhelm him, having someone that understands him in this and will respect his boundaries and not go too far but also isn't completely cold is very nice for him, in public the most you two do is hold hands, sometimes a kiss or two but other than that most of the affection is through acts of service and encouraging you, to anyone that payed close attention to Jamil they'll notice he's smiling way more and he looks way less tired than he was before meeting you
jamil really enjoys listening to you sign he'll often join you and you'll both end up dancing and singing together forgetting about the world and the chore you both were doing for a bit to enjoy eachother's company, he really appreciates these moments, a break from all the stress, even if small they still warm his heart and as he goes to sleep he does so with those sweet memories in his mind, sleeping peacefully with a smile on his face waiting for the next day like usual, except he's not worried about the work kalims will give him this time, he's waiting to see your beautiful smile again
jamil will really enjoy anything you give him, so when you gift him bracelets you can bet he is NOT taking those off, you can even see him getting flustered covering his face with his hoodie and looking away as he thanks you trying his best to not stutter (tease him tease him tease him te-)
Congratulations you are the only person jamil allows to touch his hair, he swears he died and went to heaven when he feels you taking care of his hair while you both gossip, you were kind of surprised jamil liked to gossip at first but then u realize he just probably likes having a lot of personal info abt other ppl 💀
like riddle at first jamil hated the fact you did BUT that was actually before you two were even friends! once u got closer to him he slowly started to realize you didn't do that in the same way kalims does it but in a teasing way and he actually finds it???? really endearing???? it feels nice to have someone joke around you after a stressful day just please don't overdo it, jamil needs a break and you're the only one he trusts <3
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bpd-angelcake · 1 month
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guess who's back 🙃
tw: lots of ed mention
hi lol where do I even begin first off like... lmao every time I come back on this blog I think of that one ask that I got that was like "do u come back on here when things are bad??" and no lmao not always
life hasn't been bad it's just been busy im always busy i work a full time job and my social life has been the busiest it's ever been and im thankful because I love my irl friends so much and I do love my job as annoying as it can be and idk things aren't bad. they're not.
but I know my mental health hasn't been the best lately and I can't even blame my bpd. I had a really bad episode at the beginning of February and I tried pushing all my friends away because I thought they were over me and didn't take me seriously and they all came back to me literally crying wondering what was wrong and I felt so shitty and they don't know I have bpd (I don't talk about it in person unless we're going to date because I hate when people perceive me a certain way once they find out I'm not normal lmao) so we had to get in a circle and talk it out it was so rough but honestly I have never felt more secure in a friend group before in my life it makes me so sick thinking about it because idk what I'd do if anything were to change but whatever.
but idk I was doing so good with myself I was on top of my skincare and keeping my room clean and following through with things and idk everything just fell through the cracks and I feel like I have no control over anything in my life once more. I'm trying so hard to be better but it's hard. I just started saving money again because I spent so much of it the past few months and I'm so disappointed with how bad my spending got and it wasn't even for a good reason lol so I am trying I promise but ugh I feel like I was up there!! and I'm back at rock bottom.
Another thing that's been bugging me a lot is my weight too... back in 2020 I was so thin and I looked good and I had done it the right way by dieting and exercising but covid came and I got into that toxic relationship and I gained so much weight back and I look in the mirror and I am so disgusted with myself and I hate it. I see all these cute plus size girls on social media and I literally love them and think they're so beautiful but I look at myself and I can't even deal. I have to be a bridesmaid for a wedding in October and im dreading it because I'm going to look so bad....
I ordered a cosplay a few months ago and it came a week ago and it didn't even fit 🙃 I almost had a full mental breakdown about it and tbh I am 90% sure it ran small (not cutting myself slack because I know I'm fat but I also know how to measure clothes) but it made me so upset I literally relapsed and I've barely eaten this whole week. I tried to eat a spoonful of rice because I was so lightheaded the second it touched my mouth I threw it up.
And now I feel so fucking lame because I'll go on edtwt and see these girls posting their stuff and they're all in their teens and it's like.... I'm in my 20's dude I shouldn't be doing this shit anymore but I do and I hate it because it's all I know and it's so comforting because I'm literally a professional at it like I know all the tips and tricks I know what to do when I accidentally binge I know how to curb cravings and what excuses to say when I don't want to eat in front of people it's so sad because I thought I was over this but I guess not.
I haven't weighed myself yet, I was going to do it tomorrow but ugh all I need is to see that number go down or else I might kill myself because I can't do this anymore!!!! this is my life I feel like I'm 14 again in the worse way. IDK I might start posting more about it (with tags ofc) so if that's not your thing I understand but it's all I have to make me feel better and I'm not looking for advice I'm not looking for tips I just want to vent and if you're going to judge me do it kindly please lmao bye
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so latest chapter tells us how gojo admits he doesn't feel lonely "now" but i wonder oh i wonder, do you think he felt lonely all those years without suguru? without having anyone else that's there for him alone and him as just satoru?
also for your previous ask, i agree about the whole playboy persona, like i just don't see him like that, i like to think he tried to date and is a flirty bastard but i don't think he ever went further than that because he just couldn't connect with people if u know what i mean. i think in an ideal world satoru has a chance to move on and try again, without being obsessed with fighting and all that.
hope all this made sense, im just trying to cope lmao
this is 100% based on my own projections onto him but gojo has looked like a lonely character from the very beginning to even currently, to a great extent, and only some panels in his school years have seemed like he didn't feel that lonely.
i believe humans will do literally anything, and i mean anything, to not feel lonely. it's basically wired into our survival instincts. so tbh any "coping mechanism" or way to stop being lonely is not only possible but kinda understandable.
most people around him are probably honestly just as emotionally constipated, which is why yuuji being there is a pretty shocking and stark contrast to everyone else, and it's because he didn't grow up in the world of jujutsu at all (although he has had a fair share of his own loss and trauma, it is more of the regular human experience variety). even geto and haibara, even though they weren't born into these sorcerer families, grew up seeing curses and probably being kinda traumatised bc of seeing these scary things as children, seeing their effects on people around them, and then being potentially ostracised or trying to hide it, so dealing with it all alone. the only other person we really see being so open at all was haibara but we didn't get to see a lot about him.
nanami as an adult is probably the most emotionally healthy person in the entire story (aside from yuuji like i said) and even then he's not very open at all. but he took time away from the jujutsu world, worked through some of his trauma, and organised his philosophy and opinions about so many things. not a single other character has at all ever seemed like they deal with emotional stuff in a somewhat normal way. this is why i keep bringing in the tinge of nihilism that i think comes with being a sorcerer. like yaga and gojo say in the very beginning of yuuji's journey, you gotta be a little insane to be in this line of work. if you attempt to bring in regular-people morals into the mix, you will go insane, like geto did. you gotta be like that from the start.
all this to say, that i totally expect almost any relationships in the canonverse to be dysfunctional, and if they're actually any kind of functional that's 1. very surprising and 2. probably the result of an insane amount of work and effort being put into making it functional. our favs don't even go to therapy TT not to be a wet blanket or anything this is just what I think of the canonverse. however i have a lot of headcanons where i make it so that everyone is happy (and goes to therapy!!!). i also don't really know how to cope with the chapter or unhappy stuff in my fiction. i just try to ignore or avoid thinking about it until i either have no choice, have an outburst of emotions, or actually forget about it and move on to something else lol. yeah. not great.
anyway! i'm sorry I keep writing these essays on every ask. also, just as an aside, all of my thoughts are obviously coloured by my personal experiences, and it doesn't say on the blog or description, but i'm nd, queer, possibly aroace but who knows not me, and also don't really consider my gender identity as like a solid thing ykwim. so yeah whatever i say is coloured through these lenses. i haven't given a lot of thought to in-universe canon relationships very much because it doesn't seem like the story would ever go in that direction. i tend to mix in headcanons and completely made up AUs into any relationship thoughts i have about anyone in the verse.
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dsmpkincalls · 2 years
Note
hi im a ranboo fictive, im quite honestly desperate at this point to be honest
im looking for mainly my tubbo n tommy ! i was in romantic / queer platonic relationship with the both of them, as well as micheal our son
in my mems i was some kind of an hybrid ?? of an underman kinda ?
i remember tubbo being an bee / uhh sheep ( im not sure how the animal name but it hard horns ! ) im not quite sure ^^ but i remembered that after the whole lmanburg things his earings got bad and he got pstd n panick attack due to loud noises, me and tommy learned sign language and try to help him as much as we could
as for tommy i remembered him being an human ! ( kinda fully ? im not too sure either ) i dont have much to say as i dont remember much
but i remember the three of us lived together and took care of micheal after the event of lmanburg
im bodily 15 and alter wise im 16 - 17 ? im not quite sure as age is a bit hard for me to graps upon but i just ask that u are bodily 14 - 16 ( 17 is fine if u just turned 17 i think ? not too sure ) and know that im looking towards going out again ( not obligatory and right on the spot ofc ^^ ! ) both introjects and kinnies are fine to int as im quite desperate n miss them sm !
you can contact me on my ( side blog ) @endermanranboofictive
( it should normally work, my discord is sunnyrainbow#9858 if it doesnt ! )
.
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tarobytez · 3 years
Text
disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.
****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about
CW: ableism, filicide, abuse
In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 
But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 
For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.
Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad
Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.
Kaz Brekker
Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)
The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”
Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 
His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.
The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.
In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 
I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 
Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)
Next, we have Wylan.  
Oh fucking boy. 
I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.
Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.
Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 
Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 
Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.
The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 
Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 
That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.
The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!
Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 
And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 
Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 
Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 
Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.
All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)
happy fucking disability pride month, ig
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mokutone · 2 years
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Chouji for the ask game. Love your art and your blog
hehehe. i would love to talk abt him!!, and thank u!
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answers under the cut!
favorite thing about them — i like that hes got like very little interest in being a shinobi. king of work life balance. king of having hobbies. king of not being as much of a bootlicker as he couldve been. hes also like. very cutely drawn? i love his eyes too. whenever we get an up close shot of him im like. ah. chōji... least favorite thing about them — this isnt abt chōji himself this is abt kishimoto's writing. im like furious at the fatphobia it rlly prevents me from engaging with chōji as much as i would be able to otherwise. like. ugh. i dont know like theres NO REASON for it. theres really never any reason for fatphobia, but like, in chōjis case specifically? when he's from one of the few REALLY important clans in konoha? and EVERYONE knows that the akimichi have immense power and that in order to use it they have to maintain a certain weight, so that they can burn it in battle? why would this be an issue!!! god. im so annoyed. literally thinking about this makes me insane.
favorite line —i cannot remember any notable chōji lines i think...i liked it most when he was simply lying beside shikamaru gazing at clouds. brOTP — shikamaru :) they're best buds :) OTP — again i dont rlly care about shipping. i dont think i see him interact enough with anyone for me to like. really. imagine him being in a relationship with anyone? that said, shikamaru + chōji are cute i guess, that kind of is where we see the most of his interactions nOTP —again i dont rlly see enough of his relationships to really have any strong feelings,
random headcanon — butterflies flock to him (and other members of the akimichi family), which shino finds absolutely fascinating. shinos like. definitely more of a beetle person than a butterfly person, but like u cant not notice when one of ur classmates steps outside and radically alters the migration of multiple species of insects. chōji thinks its fine, normal, cool, etc. he helps his dad set out the sugarwater or other supplies sometimes depending on how healthy the migration looks. its a whole thing
unpopular opinion —i don't know enough peoples opinions on chōji to know what opinions are popular and which ones arent, i guess? what opinions do people have on chōji... song i associate with them — maybe nightlights ii by nana grizol? idk its talking about kind of a longing for intimacy and a necessity to engage with but a shying from conflict that i feel like chōji would vibe with. i like this especially:
"The shy and lonely hunter Who stalks across my chest Says “I’m only seeking glory,” yeah But glory never gives you any— —Rest" . . . "So you step tender when you don’t run So you surrender to everyone So you remember the place you’ve come to Don’t forget the world adores you, said “I am but my body: heart and shaking skin.” How ever will you find a safe place where You never let anyone in— — to the space where you—"
favorite picture of them — im not sure...i cant find it. but there was def a part of naruto the og series where i got a close up on his face. and i was like. ah!!!! hes cute!
this one is also cute tho
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sashi-ya · 3 years
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Hiii! Firstly bless you and your blog😩❤❤ im so glad i follow you now and secondly can i request a nsfw of luffy,zm zorro or kidd tbh. I'll take any of em
Baby!! thank u! Of course! I chose Luffy because I think that there is not enough NSFW of him out there. Yet, I might have gotten a lot into it and ended up writing more than 2K words hahaha. I hope it's ok with you! I included some fluff too 💖✨ ~
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NSFW ~ Monkey D. Luffy x F! Reader ~ Moonlight 🌙🌟
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TW: Nsfw. Fluff. Shooting stars. First time together. Confessing love. A little bit of Angst. Oral, vag, masturbation.
A/N: I was listening to "Moonlight" by Ariana Grande and got inspired because for some reason it reminds me of Luffy. I included some verses of the song too. If you want, you could listen to the song while reading this fic ♥ ~
WC: ~ 2.4K
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Summer breeze, twinkling stars on a velvety dark sky. The moon shines brighter than ever. The lights of the Thousand Sunny go has been all turned off as all nakamas went to sleep. Tonight you are on guard, so you head up to the crow's nest. But you notice someone is sitting over the lion's (sun) head of the ship looking at the immense sky above him. Who else could be sitting there if not Luffy?
Luffy, your captain, and the man you fall in love with since the very first time you saw his smile.
He saved you, even if you weren't a princess in distress, you were saved from the pits of despair, from the darkness that was surrounding you. Luffy brightens your world with just a smile and the proposal you will always cherish in your memory.
"Join my crew, be my nakama".
But you love this man in silence, Luffy is not interested in love or relationships, Luffy only wants to be free, Luffy wants to be the king… or that’s what you think. You have accepted your faith and love him from the dark ever since.
A shooting star crosses the sky, you see Luffy lifting his arms. Perhaps he saw it too and made a wish? Perhaps he is just excited with the beauty of it.
But you did make a wish. Even if it felt somehow selfish, you just couldn't help it. You squeeze your eyes and softly whisper "I wish Luffy would love me as much as I love him".
"Who am I trying to fool? If I am somehow a distraction to achieve his dreams, then please don't love me" you think.
The sweet voice of Luffy breaks the silence of the night; "Oi!! Oi! (Name)!". "Great, I'm also hearing voices now" you grunt as you slowly open your eyes. But you weren't, Luffy was waving at you from his special spot, being bathed by the shine of the silver moon in the sky.
"Did you see the shooting star??" He asks and doesn't wait for you to come closer to him, but instead, he stretches his arms and takes you next to him.
Your ass hits the strong wood of Sunny's head. "Luffy… I did" you tell him, panting and embarrassed to be in his arms. He let's go of you and flashes a big smile. "It was really bright and big, wasn't it?" You say, just to break the ice.
"It was, yes. I asked for a wish… you know?" He says, his eyes becoming sad. "You did? I hope your wish gets fulfilled ~" you say, hoping the same with yours.
"Maybe someday…" he says, sighing and looking down. The straw hat covers his face.
You haven't seen Luffy act like this since you know him, it is so weird for you. But, at the same time, you are glad he is showing his true emotions to you. Luffy always acts so strong, so happy even if his heart is breaking, because above all things he knows he has to be ok to take care of you all and doesn't want to bother you at all.
“Are you ok, Lu?” you ask, trying to see his face from under the strawhat that is hiding his expressions. He sighs once again, and then looks at you with a smile. You know he is smiling because he doesn’t want to worry you. “Don’t smile if you don’t feel like it, Luffy. You can talk to me about what’s going on…” you tell him, brushing your thumb over the scar he has on his cheek. You panic inside you, “why am I touching him?!”.
Luffy sneaks his arms around you, this is a normal practice he has. The gum boy always hugs all of you and kisses you goodnight. In your mind you constantly repeat “this is just something he does with everyone”, yet your heart beats faster and faster. You look at him, burning cheeks, thinking what to say while inside your body a storm takes part. You are fighting against yourself not to kiss him, not to tell him how much you love him.
“(Name), do you think Ace is looking at me from the sky?” he asks, pointing at the dark firmament above you. Luffy is now resting his head on your lap. You melt at such a sweet question. “He definitely does, Luffy. Look, see that star? The one that shines the most? the one Nami told you is called Venus and she uses it as a guide for navigation? That one, that one is Ace. He guides you from there, shining bright just for you to see him when everything gets darker” you tell him, pointing at the flickering brilliance.
“Shi shi shi shi!” he laughs with his finger under his nose. “Hi Ace!” he waves at the sky, smiling from ear to ear. You are glad he is truly happy now. And because Luffy’s grin is so contagious you smile just like him, a warmth in your heart that makes you feel so full of love.
He hugs you tight, “thank you, Name…”. Luffy stands up, takes his hat off and puts on your head. He presses it down, so you can feel the weight of his hand over your head. That means how much he cares about you, how much he wants to protect you and doesn’t want to lose you for nothing in the whole world. And you smile, this is enough for you…
“You have a star also, you know?” he tells you all of a sudden, looking at the sky and lending you a hand to stand up. You took his hand and rose up, trying not to lose equilibrium. “Do I?” you ask. “Uhum, that one!” Luffy points towards the moon. “Luffy, that’s the Moon!” you tell him, surprised. “Yeah, and look how pretty it is! It shines so much! It lights up the dark sky, just like you and Ace!” he says, so naturally. You shake your head; you just can’t believe the words you just listened to. “Am I the Moon for him?” ...
And suddenly, Luffy turns around, hugging you from your waist, planting the sweetest kiss on your lips you have ever felt. The wish, did your wish come true?... Of course it did!
“Luffy… did you know the moon shines because of the Sun’s rays?” you tell, both of you pressing your foreheads. “It does?” he asks, already knowing the answer. “Uhum, you are the Sun. My Sun. You light up everyone’s world with your smile”.
“You make me smile…” he says and stretches his arm to the crow’s nest, while the other one gets wrapped around your waist. And there you go, recklessly flying from the deck to the lookout tower. Panting, you are left on the ground. Luffy usually hits Zoro or Sanji against the walls, but not you. He always protects you, and treats you like a princess. “Are you on guard tonight?” he asks. “I am…” you say, not sure why he is asking.
“Then, come here” he tells and softly pushes you against the little bed Zoro usually uses when he wants to rest after an intense training session. “L-Luffy?” you ask, embarrassed as hell. What is he doing?...
The future king lays next to you on the little cot, he wraps his arms around you and both of you are again nose touching. “I’m in love with you (Name)…” he whispers. You gasp. “He does?”. You took some minutes to process the man you thought would never love you, just said the opposite.
“Uh… I… I am… I am too…” you stutter but giggle once you have confessed your feelings. “I know, shi shi shi shi” he laughs and plants another sweet kiss on your lips. But this time, it doesn’t end in a peck… his tongue looks for yours, and slowly but surely it becomes into a sweet, steamy make out session. You’ve always known Luffy hides this behaviour very well. His innocence does not mean he cannot be passionate in bed…
And you let yourself go, accepting that your sweet captain can also be a man, a man that can and will send you to heaven. The hands of Mugiwara no Luffy travel up and down your body. He wants you so bad. You help him take off your clothes. You are left completely naked in front of him, in body and soul, ready to be taken.
Luffy, softly, gently, lovely kisses you once more, then lowers his kisses through your neck to your chest. He does it so slow, you wouldn’t think he could be that calm… but he is, he wants to enjoy every inch of your skin. Your flesh reacts to his lips, little spasms, little stings of pleasure.
His hands are now on your thighs, a place he also kisses delightedly. “You are so perfect, (Name)” he exclaims, amazed with the beauty of your anatomy. You brush his black hair, looking at his face, somehow that kid face is not there anymore, his eyes show lust, passion, and love.
“Can I?” he asks, before touching your panties. “Yes…” you allow him, amazed by the respect he has for you and your body… After all, he is Luffy.
He smiles, and little by little takes your panties off, sliding the fabric through your thighs, to your knees and finally through your feet. Luffy kisses each spot as he lowers the underwear.
He sighs, nervously looking at your entrance. You bite your lip, a little embarrassed. This is the first time Luffy sees you naked, he is discovering every inch of your body. The gum gum boy looks at you, eyes widen, he swallows. He is nervous, he doesn’t want to ruin this moment… if he only knew he is perfect no matter what…
He takes air, his fingers softly graze your pelvis. He leans forward, his mouth reaching your sex. Soft kisses, and shy tongue. He tastes the honey of your arousal, and in a matter of seconds he loses his calm. Luffy devours you, dedicatedly, passionately enjoying the sweet taste of you. And you arch your back, grabbing the sheets as he also sticks his index inside you.
Moaning and panting, he does it so well. You are amazed by the way he is able to please you, fixing his eyes on your pleasure expressions as you come.
Luffy settles over you, caressing your cheek as your breathing returns back to normal. “I love you” he whispers. You flash a smile, completely drunk with love and lust.
And you have always wanted to taste his skin, to kiss every single corner of his body, so you softly straddle your hips over him. You take off his red kimono while kissing his lips. His chest exposed, you admire the red scar that resembles an X, his strong abs, little past wounds that still need some healing. “I wanted this for so long, Luffy…” you confess, attacking his neck.
You could have sworn his skin would have no scent at all due to the gum, but you were wrong. A subtle manly aroma mixed with the little drops of sweat invades your nose. Deliciously intoxicated, your lips leave a path of kisses all towards his belly. Quiet moans left his mouth as you kiss the tight gum skin, that doesn’t feel at all like it.
Lower and lower your smooches go. You now kneel on the bed, just to kiss his hip bones. Luffy, lost in pleasure, can only run his fingers through your hair. You untie the waist string, allowing the kimono to open fully. To your surprise he is not even wearing underwear. You take your hand to your mouth when you discover the size of his manhood.
“L-uffy…” you stutter. “What baby?” he asks, acting all innocent. “Don’t make it grow anymore…” you say, completely aware of the fact that he can control its length to his own liking due to his devil fruit. “Ah.. sorry, sorry” he says laughing. You can’t help but laugh with him.
But of course, this is not over, so your mouth reaches the throbbing member of your lover. Strings of precum drip from it, product you lick delightedly. Salty heaven that makes Luffy clench his jaw whenever your tongue plays with it. But you want more, and so you put his whole length into your mouth, sucking, up and down, licking and also stroking his shaft.
Luffy moans louder, hopefully no one has listened, yet not sure of it. He buckles up his hips against you, making the tip of his sex graze your throat. Watery eyes, sight that enjoys the man in front of you submitting to you, lost in pure lust and desire.
“(N-ame… Name…) come here… I- I- let me…” he says panting, pulling from you. In an instant Luffy has settled his body over you. Grabbing your wrists with just one hand above your head and grabbing his dick with the other. “Let me… Can I?” he asks, and you of course nod, biting your lip. Your sex is begging to be filled by him, desperately asking for it.
And inside he goes, deep, deep inside. In and out, violent thrusts, repeating how much he loves you, fixing his eyes on yours. Making sweet, sweet love to you. Yet feeling the power of his Emperor’s Haki as he pounds into you.
Sweet like candy, but he is such a man…
And both of you come, panting, sweating, at the same time as those romantic movies. You aching your back, moaning his name. Luffy panting, kissing your lips, muzzled I love yous, filling you with his warm seed...
The moonlight that filters through the glass walls of the crow’s nest bathes Luffy’s back as he pants, still inside you, looking into your eyes with pure love and desire. That night, both of your wishes came true…
Because they were exactly the same...♥ ~
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