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#i normally don't do catalysts but
dlartistanon · 11 months
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I’m ready for Miss Falcone to grace me with her presence!
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craycraybluejay · 28 days
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If I wanted to, I could, and worse, you would let me
#and my delusions and aches need healing#and i need you#to love me enough for me not to want to force my love on you#and my rational mind wherever it is knows you do it knows it does#it knows#but. the irrational mind wants some kind of Proof#it wants to force to feed to get inside and look around#nothings ever enough for me i want inside#soft and warm like the womb#you know it#the sick me wants you to somehow prove everything ever#proof of love. proof that im not the only monster. proof of protection of care of empathy of trust of acceptance#its never enough but to be fair you and i both know who made me this way#of course there were many but there are catalysts and then there are nothing-people#prove it to me#i look at you and i feel like youre slipping away someone else has their guts on you someone else has convinced you they are worth your tim#but theyre pathetic and not poetic about it. weak and spineless. they USE YOU to make themselves look strong they USE YOU to talk shit at t#they are useless so they use you like me. and i know i cannot rush it cannot learn your lessons for you#i can't convince you of whats dangrous or cruel until you live it until it breaks your golden heart#but i wish i could protect you from all that somehow#and too i wish a million years would pass and you were as dark as me and as kind as you#its selfish but i hate to see you truly hurt i hate it. it makes me so violently angry. my brain turns off i cant help it#you hurt so Easy you're so very soft but every tiny cruelty that hurts you i want to completely erase off this earth#i dont care if its alive if its helpless if it doesnt know better i dont care if it didnt mean to all i want to do is prove to you show you#keep you safe and cared for#its irrational. i'd put away honour and hurt someone weaker than me if it made you happy if it made you feel safe#i wish i could eliminate the real threat but i cant im trying#you make me crazy and you make me feel normal and simple and human. i know everything about you-- i want to know more#my irrational brain doesn't even register accepted right and wrong only what it considers significant and important. my rational brain read#it like a million page rulebook. be normal be good don't hurt anyone don't get dead don't act before you think
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rubys-domain · 10 months
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just replayed baizhu's story quest. gets me every time
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#on a semi-related note#i want baizhu's weapon#i don't care that it's not worth my primos. it's pretty and that's enough for me to want it#same with the doughnut#which might honestly be the most gorgeous weapon in all of genshin imo#what's with hp% catalysts and being super pretty#and on a completely unrelated note#why is leveling up characters so fun#my talents could really use some work but i'm procrastinating by leveling other characters#in my defense i do plan on using them at some point. but still#with a few exceptions,i prefer grinding normal bosses over domain delving 99% of the time#im lowkey tempted to pull for cyno on the alt just to have an electro dps. because idk if razor can be used in the same way. seems unlikely#what if i stacked em and er on him and gave him an electro damage bonus goblet instead of physical#and then built dendro mc. and i'm already planning to get kokomi#basically a budget version of my cyno team (ignoring the fact that kokomi is a 5 star)#xingqiu would be better but he's probably better off in yoimiya's team instead#i am so torn on what team could work for chong though... i know i have all the people for a burst nuke comp. which is great for bosses#but in the overworld it's not the best#i really want to use layla. but i also want to use a melt team cuz thats where chong really shines. and layla would just steal chongs melts#maybe i should actually invest in eula now rather than later. i already have all the teammates she would want#i just want an excuse to use layla tbh#but i'm also tempted to make a kaeya freeze team. or mono cryo with chongyun layla and kazuha as supports. using them on oceanid sounds fun#i'd have to do some testing to see if layla's stars and burst can actually reach the flying mimics though#i need to make a list of all the teams i want to make because jesus
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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hdkfajsdlkf emet-selch 💀
#🌙.rambles#this is embarrassing i was just thinking some more for a bit n 😭😭#full fathom five. amaurot. shadowbringers. ffxiv. HDLKFAJSD :^)#i swear ffxiv is like a slap in the face to me#like. a catalyst or the spark that helps me remember n just. yeah#i relate to emet-selch so much it's actually hilarious#like. mix alphinaud & emet-selch & hermes n yeah. Me#in a way at least bcs oh my god i shld not write anything that's not academic related at night bcs i end up rambling even more bs#than i normally do but like#oh my god i really wish i cld care less though. or like idk just make time stop so i can just do wtvr shit i want T_T#my mind is a mess at night#when it's 2 i'll just do some stuff n sleep#i shld probably just sleep but#.. i don't want to rn 💀 not for any particular reason. just wna do wtvr for a while. even if it's doing nothing#random but there's no space in our closet so our prom gowns r just hanging w the curtains by the window#n mine's like. dark navy. something like that#n so sometimes it feels like the window's open but no it's just the gown 😭#it's so pretty.. i rlly love the color. n ofc the designs. there's like. silver stuff. apollo n i have matching stuff on each side#n then off-shoulder n the sleeves r so lovely too n. it just looks so. elegant. it reminds me of the night fr#i just keep on glancing on it when my brain's empty hdlfkajsdl but oh i just realized it turned two.. i'll sleep in a bit#i talk to myself a lot but i don't think tumblr is the place to do that so HDLFKAJSFDL i will rlly fix my account .
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turkeyborgers · 2 years
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I fought god outside the liminal space between my work and my house after my shift was over. If you wanna know who won... Well, who's still standing, baby???
Also, this is unreality, I think? Idk if this counts because our brain is working in metaphor and symbolism more than reality rn.
Venting in the tags
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Been thinking about Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and what makes Death the Wolf such an effective villain, and like… character design and voice acting is certainly doing a lot there, don't get me wrong, but I think there's something else at play.
Death is the most terrifying character in Puss in Boots, because he's the only one playing the genre straight.
The premise of the Shrek films has always been that they're normal, modern people living in wacky fairytale land.
The evil king uses his magic mirror as a dating app. The fairy godmother uses business cards to contact her clients. Her workers consider unionising over their lack of dental plan.
Puss in Boots 1 kinda broke the mould in that— while there are plenty of modern elements to how the characters act and how their world works— it's more specifically intended to be characters from the world Zorro living in wacky fairytale land. But the point still stands.
The aim of the Shrek films and spin-offs is to subvert common fairytale tropes for comedic effect. What if the princess fell for the ogre? What if Prince Charming was an entitled dick? What if Goldilocks teamed up with the three bears and started a crime family?
But Death? Death, for the most part, isn't playing that game.
No character questions why he doesn't just kill Puss outright. There are no gags about him being inconvenienced by Jack Horner losing so many men. Nobody makes any self-aware fourth wall breaking jokes about why he bothers with the whole whistling thing.
We all know why he does the whistling thing. It's the same reason why Little Red Riding Hood has to go through the whole "what big eyes/ears/teeth you have, Grandma" rigamarole. The same reason why the wolf takes care to knock before blowing the little pigs' houses down.
The Wolf is scary because he's the only actual fairytale creature in this entire setting. He's not bound by rules of logic or common sense, or his own will, he's bound by the narrative.
And that's also why he backs down at the end.
The first time he and Puss fight, in the bar, Puss is arrogant. The second time, in the Cave, Puss is scared out of his wits. It's the third time, on the wishing star, that Puss learns his lesson. Of course the Wolf backs down after that! The rules say he has to.
But, on another level, there is also the issue of Puss realising that he wants more from his life than just to be a legend.
They say "legends never die", but the most famous part of any given legend tends to be the story of how the hero finally bites the dust.
And "he was such a great fighter that Death himself had to kill him off, personally!" is just the sort of ending that would fit the legend Puss has constructed around himself. In a sense, the Wolf is giving Puss exactly what he proclaims to want— the chance to go down in history.
Puss realising he doesn't want that anymore is the catalyst for sending the Wolf away. Through his own egotistical and reckless attitude, he turned himself into a story and thus summoned a narrative device. Only by choosing to value his life over the legend is he able to escape that trap.
The Wolf's defeat is both the natural ending of the story that he and Puss have been playing out since the film began, and a rejection of the natural ending to the story Puss has been telling about himself since he first became the hero of San Ricardo.
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conflictofthemind · 3 days
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Thoughts on "Escape from Camazotz"
Oppressive Suburbia, Conformity, and Season 5 Themes
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I've long thought that a major focus of Season 5 will be the contrast between the families of The Wheelers and The Byers, and exploring how non-traditional family environments can be freeing vs the oppressive structure of the nuclear family.
In a Wrinkle In Time, Camazotz is a planet controlled by the big bad of the book, the "IT", who forces the citizens into a conformity that resembles American suburbia. All of the houses the same, the citizens the same, doing the same things at the same time without individual identity. Without anything different. Different means a lot of things, but with Stranger Things dropping different in reference to Will's identity and the presumable themes of this season, it will heavily codify as queerness and how it threatens the cisheterosexual family model.
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Henry was raised in the 1950s, a decade still revered by conservatives for it's traditional family dynamics that supposedly were the peak of culture and happiness for all. That was all a lie, of course, and Henry knew so as he shows to Nancy and Eleven during his monologue. The second most conservative decade aside from the 1950s in American society is widely considered to be the 1980s.
The Creels will serve in parallel to The Wheelers; the worst example of what they could become and the damage that this type of family could do to a child that is different in any way. Notice how Vecna selectively shows Nancy visions of The Wheelers dying, but not anyone else she may consider family or friends (like Jonathan).
That is; unless they change their ways and come together as a healthy functioning family facing their traumas, The Wheelers will be toast.
Karen has been moved up to a main character role this season. Ted's actor says the father starts to show up more for Holly (hold that) and realizes he wants to act differently. Holly has been recast. Finn has said Mike goes on a much more personal journey this season, and steps up as a leader.
Oh, also: the catalyst for all of this is that Holly goes missing. The contrast will help show how the Byers (including El and Hopper here) were able to pull together and help solve Will's disappearance, versus how the Wheelers as a closed off nuclear family grapple with Holly's vanishing.
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Each of the Byers is in some kind of a non-1950s conformist relationship, but particularly Will (not in one now but we all know he will be). I think El might represent, after she breaks up with Mike, the fear of the unmarried woman being satisfied without a husband. The above shot really emphasizes my point.
I predict that Will will end up coming out to his family rather early on, and we will see all of them immediately accept him with little surprise or push-back. Will is a visible gay man who comes from an open minded non traditional family (divorced, non-married, adoptive) that is willing to have honest conversations.
But this theme will place the most focus on the Wheelers. Mike is the main character of said family and this will particularly focus on his arc, and his acceptance of his queerness in the midst of suburban conformity.
He is not visible, he comes from a Reagan-supporting family who don't communicate with each other. He is not particularly close with his family like Will is. He pushes his feelings down and tries his damn hardest to be normal despite it all. His trauma hasn't really been addressed at all. He is falling back into his usual habits - the one thing he dared to do different (grow his hair long) has gone back to how it was.
It's not all doom and gloom though. This season above all will be a redemption arc of the American nuclear family, how they choose to escape their conformity and learn to be there for each other, thus overpowering Vecna. Not that the Wheelers are going to end this personally.
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"Great, more hysteria. Just what we need". "It's the news, now indistinguishable from the tabloids".
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katalyist · 4 months
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Life series!Grian a survivor not a traitor
Alternative title: I thought about Life series!Grian for too long again and because Tumblr doesn't have a character limit I'm putting my thoughts on the Internet.
I'm not normal in how while watching Cleo's secret life final episode there was a silent agreement that Grian was no loyal when they had that conversation with Scott when they were trying to convince Gem to be on their side.
"I mean, don't ask about Grian's loyalty"
And Scott response was "I have never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses quicker in my life. As soon as Joel dropped, the bad boy glasses were off"
To which Grian responded "My boys died, what did you want from me?"
Like how is Grian seen has someone that betrays or isn't loyal to his teammates? HE IS LOYAL, HE IS JUST TOO COWARD. He has never betray a teammate first.
Look, for example to third life: He promised Scar his life, and altough he warns the rest of players at the beginning about the scams Scar was doing, he always do what Scar did, he helped him, he create traps and didn't thought on betraying him until Scar betray him first, until Scar did it, when he recovered he was so mad and just jump to them shouting out that Scar was a traitor. AND THEN when Scar apologies and offers Grian to have the win he refuses because he still considers Scar his ally, and then the cactus ring happens and he feels bad, he feels bad for killing Scar, I don't think a traitor would be that bad to the point of killing themselves
Then in last life, where he killed two of his four teammates and started his reputation as "allies killer". First of all, when he turned red he had the oppurtinity to just turn on them, sure, he went back to the nether and threat Mumbo, but it was mostly joking and I think the most messed up thing was how afraid he was of not having any teammates that he was willed his best friend but couldn't find the courage on himself. The next episode he has already a plan to go back with his team AND get Joel out of red, like- he planned a way to be back with his allies and get his new ally (that if I had to remember you, was the one that killed him, but Grian was perfectly with him because he understands it was for the red impulses) out of red. Once he gets his yellow life back and goes back to the southlanders for a happy teammate reunion and discovers Jimmy was exiled he doesn't hesitate in saying he doesn't want him back because he betrayed the southlands; they have the votation, he says 'no' inmediatly and is surprised that other people said yes but doesn't oppose to it.
When Mumbo and Jimmy turned red he didn't try to kill them until their few attempts of murder, he did not attack Mumbo when he tried to end cristal him, he didn't attack them, even when they had that terrible attempt of a trap for him and Martyn. He attacked them when Jimmy physically tries to punch him to the trap that he looses the little patient he had left and kills him and then Mumbo for trying to stop him. Then Martyn betrayed him because of the boogeyman curse and when Grian finds Impulse he sounds so wounded because of that but even then he doesn't try to go for him, he makes a plan with Impulse to put a Wither on the base of team B.E.A.S.T because they were one of the biggest threats. Once Impulse died he was back with Joel and he didn't betray or left him, even when he had the opportunity to join bigger alliances than him.
With that out of the way we arrive to the fatal Double Life, I feel that this is the catalyst of Grian's character misinterpretation, mostly because of the cheat situation but: 1, that him and Scar and soulmates doesn't mean they are allies (see the two pair of soulmates that were literally divorce) and 2, he really tried to protect Scar and be a good ally. He made a base, he warned Scar to not go to places he could die and he even trust him with the sugar cane, when he lost it he trust Scar the sand he isn't even that angry or dissapointed on him. It also applies to BigB, he was a great ally with him too! He gave him sugarcane, cookies, tnt, they didn't attack eachother and the only reason why he killed him was because he forgot BigB was soulmates with Ren in his red madness, he even had a funeral for him and apologise for killing him. That is not traitor behaviour if you ask me.
And then finally Limited Life (my excuse and the real season I wanted to talk because I haven't left that bread bridge), the season where Grian is in his most loyal teammate arc of all. He is a coward of course, he plays safe always, in every single season, and that is what ends up being one of the reasons why Joel ends up dead. The bad boys were too reckless and idiots (in an affectionate way, I love them) for him to not fear for their lives constantly, and yes they almost felt apart, but that was after Jimmy killed Grian. Grian left Jimmy get the kills, they were trying to save him, when Tango (the boogeyman) killed Jimmy he didn't took the two hours from him because that would had permakill him, at the end Jimmy didn't die because of him, he just slip from the platform. They had the funeral and all, he left diamonds at his grave as an offer.
With Joel it is a little different, Grian didn't betray him, he didn't kill him, but he wasn't there because he was afraid of dying, in the middle episode 7 Joel wants to murder the family because they wanted to kill Jimmy "It wasn't their fault he died" trying to persude him to not do that to which Joel answers "I'm gonna send Scar a message" and Grian almost begs "No Joel, you got to be careful or I'm gonna be alone. I'm gonna be a singular bad boy" but he doesn't follow him, he doesn't go to kill people with him because they don't have a plan and it's obvious they will die.
Grian is a survivor, when he notices things are getting ugly he looks for a way out. When Joel goes on his murderous rampage after they talk to BigB he reunite again with him and Pearl to offer himself as a ally, making a list of all the things he is useful for, selling himself because he knows he will be alone at the end of that episode and alone players are easy targets. At first he wants them to become bad boys, he doesn't want to leave the mark, but they refused, and a survivor has to do what they have to do. He isn't even hiding why he wants to be friends with them and they don't have a problem with that.
"I have already kind of accepted he's gonna die in a way" he says while making a trap for the nosy neighbours while watching how Joel died (again)
"I mean, you completely abandon him at this point" Pearl points out (and if I watched Pearl more I could talk about how Life Series Pearl seems to have really trust issues with people that is so confident in leaving allies behind because she keeps repeating how Grian is not with Joel, she is so 'I will die for you', and it was prove in the final of secret life, I love her so much).
And Grian doesn't deny it, he does try to excuse his behavior with a "Joel reaches a point where he just loses his mind completely and he was way past that a while ago. Jimmy's death has kind of got an adverse affect on him" just to be silent a second, finish placing the TNT cards and going "But I will have to go and see if he is okay in a minute"
He cares about his last truly ally even when he knows Joel will die, Grian can't just stand still and wait for it to happen "I'm gonna have to go and see if Joel is okay. He must be on less than an hour and if I don't say bye, I'm gonna regret it"
And once he is with Joel again he doesn't hide that he has allied with the nosy neighbours from him. It is the first thing he tells him actually "I've just been like making new friends because you have lost your mind". That is not betray behavior, that is not 'I'm gonna back stab you' or 'I'm leaving you now'. And Joel gets it, he gets that Grian is too coward to confront people directly, that he is not a pvper and accepts him like that. And then they have this conversation on Skynet while trying to get kills for Joel:
"Yeah, do you know what would be really funny? If I just knocked you off right now but I won't, I won't, I won't do that"
"I would do that for you. I would do that for you. Bad boys for life"
HOW IS THAT NOT LOYALTY? Grian, the one that is afraid of death, willing to die for his ally? Without hesitation answering that yes, he would do that for Joel. We have the hole "Kill me Joel. KILL ME" dialogue and scene after that even. Grian didn't wanted Joel to died, when he has five minutes Grian tries to tell him to kill him again before Joel denies. When they are going to see who Joel can kill is when he starts hesitating because he would lose two hole hours to get Joel back to just one hour, he is balancing saving his allies with keeping himself alive and at the end Joel's rampage ends up killing him and Grian is without his bad boy.
He enters in full survivor mode and downplays Joel's death in front of everybody but contradicting his discourse of 'It was getting expensive to keep him alive' once everyone is gone he tells Pearl and BigB they should have a funeral for Joel fully knowing they weren't his allies. He makes Joel a grave too, like they did with Jimmy and says some words for him. How could that not be loyalty? The last episode he uses the bad boy skin, all season he forgot to use it and had to be remember by the others to use it, and then he puts it even if he 'isn't a bad boy anymore' to honor his allies.
I think the most close he was to betray an ally was when at the end he enacted the sword and ally with Impulse and Etho whitouth talking it with Pearl and it ending with both Etho and Pearl killing eachother to be in peace. When they first met after Grian enactes the sword and Pearl goes to kill he tries to stop her, but he doesn't defend her (or Etho), he just tells them to stop. Grian character just... always leaves his allies do what they want? even if it is not the best for them, it is something he does with every one of his alliance really, he does his own and they do his own, Cleo actually points it out on their last episode while they are talking to the heart fundation and Grian gets bored and goes to do his plan to get Gem and Cleo is like 'yeah, he does his own things, don't pay attention to him'.
In Secret Life he was also truly loyal to the roomates, in part I think because he was afraid of loosing his only oportunitty to get some friends after three episodes of loneliness. Grian is always so desesperate to make allies every season, make people like him because it would mean someone would fight for him. The rommates is a very solid team and he reassures himself and they how he made the correct decision. They are not as attach as he was with his bad boys (that, talking about them, he had this weird no-alliance with Joel, changing hearts and not really attacking eachother until the very end) but it is stable.
Grian includes them in his plans, if they are not on board he respects it, but when he thinks it is something that can protect them he insists. He insists they should go to Joel's platform where he hide from the zombie apocalypse because it is the easiest to defend and they were chase by the people with more health on the server. When Etho died they took it seriously, when they are scaping he goes first through the portal that belongs to Gem, Impulse and Scott because "No point both of us dying" he could have left Cleo go first to be more safe but he didn't, he tries to make a trap to get Gem and the Scotts and he tells Cleo to back off because they would get hurt if they stay to close because he will manually activate it.
My conclusion? Grian is not a traitor, he has never betray his teammates until they cross the line first. He is a bad teammate? Oh, totally, not because he won't provide his allies with supplies or plans but because the moment it becomes dangerous, too risky for his constant safe plays he distants himself because he doesn't like risky plays, he is an expert in the 'long game' even if he won't win anything with it, he also has some kind of honor (if you want to put it that way) he won't attack the weakest unless he is corner to do it to keep himself alive, he always goes for the biggest alliance, the people with most hearts, the people with most potential of giving to bring them down with the rest.
As always thank you for reading how normally sane I'm about Life series Grian. Again, I write this mini kinda essays on the fly and don't check facts too much but Grian himself implying he is not loyal had me "are you sure about that?" and then this was write on my drafts. Thanks for coming to my Grian talk!
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ranticore · 24 days
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so what exactly is a 'crawling beast of the earth' and why did harpies have to develop such extreme modifications just to defend against them?
nobody really knows what the crawling beasts are except the wyrms, and they're not telling anyone. the beasts take many forms but commonly they are eyeless and worm-like with large jaws but no mouths. they do not eat, they show no signs of intelligence, and it seems that all they do is crawl and bite. their bodies have a high heavy metal content and by their very presence they leach toxic waste into the earth around their burrows that destroys organic life. although nobody really knows what they are or where they came from, it's universally acknowledged that crawling beasts are not monsters or natural animals. monsters - not animals - are able to physically touch a crawling beast without being poisoned and you can kill one by ripping it to shreds, but the easiest way to kill one is to throw their bodies on a pyre.
in terms of behaviour they seem to show no response to injury or environmental stimulus but always crawl or burrow towards the highest concentration of large living creatures they can sense (through means unknown). if one gets within biting distance they will bite.. even if there's a layer of topsoil between you and them. they do not notice others of their own kind and can mindlessly form huge aggregations underneath villages or settlements, fouling one another until eventually the sheer volume and mass of the pile-up spills onto the surface.
the purpose of the beasties, in this setting, is to provide a common enemy that can be a catalyst for human and monster cooperation. they're kind of a macguffin that makes everything else happen, but i like them because they're undefined and terrifying for everybody. one big crawler will destroy a field of crops in one night and make the soil barren, and that can be the difference between making it through the winter and starving, in a small village. crawlers are the reason flighted harpies fear touching the ground. the whole land is infested with them (the sea, too) and their numbers are only growing.
for most harpies, attaining the size and strength (and talons) necessary to fight a crawling beast would reduce their ability to neatly and accurately forage or hunt their normal animal prey. so instead of everyone developing this weaponry, instead only one guy in a flock does, and thereafter he's the flock's bodyguard. kings suck at hunting and foraging. because even regular eagle harpies are naturally pretty big and pointy, they are the first choice for human falconers who want a partner who can swoop down, snatch up a crawling beast, and drop it on a fire. solitary monsters fare the best here since they usually don't attract any crawling beasties, except when they're pressganged by humans (or other monsters) into helping the general pest control effort.
only wyrms are known to hunt and eat crawling beasts.
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thevirgodoll · 1 year
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Doll Diaries: 10 Ways to Begin Living the Doll Life.
To introduce my brand and my mission, I have created the first guide on how to Live the Doll Life.
This is the first of many posts to build around what a Doll means.
This is a compilation of all of my advice from past posts, my values and things I recommend aspiring to. It's an initiation of some sorts, and will be a sneak peek to what my website and Patreon will entail. This covers who you want to be (your ideal self), who you are right now (your current self), your measure of confidence and value (your worth), and your reality of who you are (your traits and individuality).
Welcome to the Dollhouse!!!
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A huge part of what made me choose "Doll" as a brand is the movie, Life Size (2000).
In Life Size, Eve stood up for what was right, was ambitious, and learned how to honor her feelings as a real person. I highly recommend giving it a watch (I haven't seen the second movie, only referencing the first) to really get a feel of the energy I want to cultivate and embody. Now, let's get into it!
1. Embrace everything you already are.
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Just because you are in a pursuit of becoming someone new does not mean you have to discard the things that make you who you are. Embracing who you already are and who you were is key to building self confidence. Who you are now is worthy of love and gratitude.
Ask yourself:
What can I forgive myself for?
What are my current strengths and weaknesses?
How can I show myself gratitude today?
2. Love people and speak life into them.
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A true Doll does not engage in taking other women down. The biggest issue in today's world is that negativity has become a hot commodity. It is so insidious once it gets started, and it has been normalized to tear other people down in shady, subtle comments. These things bear no fruit. Understand now that talking badly about people and hating them only increases their sun.
What makes the difference between a Doll and another person is that everything she says has a purpose. Before speaking ask yourself:
Is this necessary? Is this true?
What do I gain from saying this?
Would I want to hear this?
These questions will make you distinguish between feelings and facts. You may not even know why you don't like someone at first, but asking yourself critical questions will teach you to see things from a different perspective. Most of the time, this has taught me to keep certain things to myself! If you don't know what you feel yet, the best thing to do is be quiet. It really is true that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. ***There are obviously exceptions to the rule, such as emotional abuse, bullying, etc. Defend yourself. Just don't be the one to be a catalyst to someone's downfall.
3. Be a student of life.
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In this Dollhouse, we are eager to learn!!! If you want to lead others, you have to be willing to admit that you can be wrong. Even though Dolls are well adored and well educated, we aren't always right. Well, a lot of the time I am, but that's not the point!
Ask yourself:
What is this trying to teach me? What can I take away from this?
When was the last time I opened my mind to something new?
What could I have done differently? If I am resistant to feedback or change in this present moment, why?
4. Take pride in your appearance.
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We aren't perfect...but we might as well be the closest thing to it. Make the decision now that you want to look your best every day. This doesn't mean wearing a full face of makeup 24/7, but this does mean being put together. A Doll should never leave the house without looking presentable, and if this is difficult, it's time for a change! Remember in The Princess Diaries when Mia got a makeover to become a princess? She looked like a completely different person and all it took was a new routine in beauty maintenance.
Obviously, you don't have to go to the extremes like she did. There's nothing wrong with glasses, thick curly hair, or thick eyebrows. It's all about making those things cohesive, which is the point of the makeover. I suggest you go on Pinterest or other platforms to find inspiration for what you want to look like. Create a routine around looking your best for YOU...only you know what flatters you the most.
Ask yourself:
What do I feel when I look in the mirror?
What influences me? What does a Doll look like to me?
What would a physical change do for me right now? And why am I doing it?
5. Have people in your life that align with you.
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Friends can inspire us, or derail us. It is extremely hard as you get older to sustain friendships because once you leave grade school, there aren't any commonalities keeping you around people you know. Sometimes, we hang onto people longer than we need to.
A verse from the Bible that I often keep in mind regarding friends is Proverbs 12:26:
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Ask yourself:
Would I take advice from this person? Why or why not?
What are the pros and cons of having this person around? How do I feel after hanging out with them?
What do they do for me? Is this reciprocal or transactional?
Is this person bringing me closer to or further away from my dreams, goals, and aspirations? Do they value what I value?
During conflict, how has this friend treated me? Do I trust them? Can I go to them when I need them?
As far as relationships, that is different for everyone but the questions are relatively the same. Some people stop their entire journey towards becoming the woman of their dreams because of love. Guard your heart!!!
Ask yourself:
Does this person align with my beliefs and values? Have I vetted them to see what type of person they are?
How does this person take care of themselves spiritually, mentally, and physically?
What is their story? Is this person aware of that story (whether it's with family, exes, friends, etc.)?
What can they offer me that I cannot give to myself?
Why do I want to be with this person?
6. Truly begin to believe you ARE 1 of 1.
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Everyone is different, especially you. Your energy is highly sought after, all you have to do is acknowledge that. In order to live this lifestyle, you gotta appreciate differences in people around you so you can avoid guilting yourself into assimilation/conformity.
Individuality is everything... don't trade that for the approval of others. Social media has revealed how much originality women lack... so be a breath of fresh air. Think of this as Miley Stewart becoming her alter ego, Hannah Montana. The best way to see the new you is a alter ego. Celebrities have used alter egos to embody a side of them that is full of tenacity and candor...basically what they wish they could be. Real life examples are: Sasha Fierce (Beyoncé), Roman (Nicki Minaj).
The arc of an alter ego comes full circle. At some point in the Hannah Montana franchise, Miley came to terms that she lacked nothing in being who she really was because the star power was already in her. Therefore, she let her go and embodied those qualities in herself as "Miley". After hard work it will be the same for you, and you will appreciate who you are even more and not have to separate the two.
Ask yourself:
Who am I? What makes me special?
What do I love most about myself?
What is my signature and aesthetic?
What are the qualities of my alter ego/archetype?
7. Be a woman of substance.
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It's useless to work towards being an it girl if you have nothing to talk about. So many women have star quality on the outside, but they are surface level and it prevents them from being seen positively and it takes away their chance of being an it girl.
Learn about current events. Learn about past events. Learn about events that are yet to come, and form an opinion.
You have Google at your disposal, so there's really no excuse to be lazy. Find your passion...most people are empty because they don't do anything they love. Be well versed in multiple topics. I know we say beauty and brains, but it really is hard to come by these days. Most people do not read anymore, nor do they take the time out to learn things themselves.
When it comes to school, that counts as substance as well if you're actually taking classes you're getting something out of (which is a whole other post). I would be remiss if I did not mention that education isn't for everyone. But for those of you that are going to college or are in college like me, this is one of the most important stages of your life. You're on the cusp of greatness. Life happens, but no matter what, we gotta get that degree no matter how long it takes.
Ask yourself:
What's going on in the world right now?
When is the last time I read a book or did something educational?
What are my hobbies? What are my habits? How do these things speak to my intelligence and who I am?
What are the things I want out of my education and what are my goals for this upcoming semester?
8. Dedicate time to your healing.
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Just because everything looks perfect, doesn’t mean it will always be that way. This journey towards being that girl will not get rid of your need to heal.
Healing is a rugged path that one must travel their entire life...your journey in becoming the person of your dreams never ends. Give yourself grace on things that you didn't know before.
As always, I recommend journaling to understand your thought process. Sometimes, I look back at my entries in my diary and realize that things weren't as bad as they seemed. Sometimes, though, they were...and for my healing process it became crucial to (when I have the capacity) revisit the moments that shaped my perspective.
I know everyone says this, but there no shame in getting help. No amount of Doll Diaries I give you or confidence lessons/advice from others will matter if you are ignoring what fills your heart with dread at night. Like Megan thee Stallion says, bad b*tches have bad days too.
I am in therapy and I take medications for my mental illnesses, and that made all the difference. Tips are in my mental health tag.
I recommend a spiritual routine that works for you. This may include meditating, praying, going to church, taking quiet time...it's all up to you, but it gives me purpose and structure when feeling existential.
Dedicate life to something bigger than yourself. Remain on the path by upkeeping discipline. Outside influences can lead you astray, but you are the difference between stumbling and getting up, and stumbling and remaining flat on your face. This will involve giving up certain things, such as music or shows or even people that push you further away from what you believe in.
Lastly, have a list of coping mechanisms that you review in crisis. Often, things get overwhelming and we won’t get the chance to sit down and journal or go read something. With that, it’s helpful to make a list of things that you know will help you cope and survive no matter what (while acknowledging the absence of these means you’re getting bad again.)
Here is a very small portion of my list:
cleaning my space
spending time with my dog
playing video games
writing, drawing, music
Ask yourself:
When's the last time I had a break without feeling guilty or lazy?
What positive practices do I have in place to keep me stable? What negative practices do I have in place that prevent me from being stable?
How am I currently working towards improving my mental state? What do I know about myself mentally and spiritually, and how can I use that to transcend?
9. Learn the art of detachment.
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People talk about being unbothered, but I don't think everyone truly understands what that means. In this Dollhouse, unbothered does not mean being nonchalant and void of all emotions. Feelings are natural, and I am not sure where someone mixed that up. What creates "unbothered" energy and "detachment" is by realizing you cannot control everything and that majority of the time, it isn't personal. This is one of the hardest lessons out there.
Ask yourself:
Is this really in my control?
How can I focus on the present moment?
And ultimately, remember you cannot fix or please anyone. Keep your composure even in the face of negativity. Your reactions and perceptions to everything you deal with is the most important thing, and will be the common denominator when it comes down to your experiences. Two books I read that changed my perspective and helped me maintain this lifestyle on this was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty.
10. Above all, live in YOUR world!!!
Make your world exclusive. Keep certain things for yourself so it retains sacredness. Be your own best friend before anyone else. Learn to embrace your own company. Don't always be accessible. Cultivate richness in your life...be willing to take risks and have a variety of experiences.
The main and most important question to ask yourself is: What does my dream world look like?
This is where the Doll Life comes into play. Barbie was marketed as being an all around sweetheart and "girl boss" with the dream life. Bratz were marketed as having individuality and a dream world experience driven by passion.
Both have core values in making sure young girls dreamed big and remained authentic. Honorable mention: Disney, as they did a great job at emphasizing dreams can come true with Disney princesses.
What I want my version of a Doll Life to be marketed as is a world where we indulge in endless possibilities and be multiple versions of ourselves at once. Where we feel like something wonderful could happen, even in the midst of trials.
We can be gentle, yet demanding. We can be feminine with masculine energy, and vice versa. We don't have to choose between one aesthetic or the other. We don't have to conform to the world, because we are in it and not of it. Dolls are seen as "perfect", and that's just the thing, I don't want my brand to be a cookie cutter definition! That's why I say I am the Doll that no one can play with. To be a Doll means to be uniquely you and standing out amongst the rest. It's a mindset, it's a lifestyle.
Don't box yourself in... remember growing up the dream life of Bratz and Barbie refused to box themselves in and remained true to themselves. Live without limits!!! Dreams really can come true. And this Dollhouse is a safe space to DREAM!!!
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Even if you don't believe it now, day by day, if you start dedicating yourself to this and remain congruent with your philosophy, you will be more than you could ever imagine. It took so much time for me to do this, but my life is forever changed. So indulge in your wishes, and create your own "life of luxury" or "dream world". Simply live by YOUR rules, and use mine as a outline to get started. I can't wait to see what all of you come up with. I hope this helps Dolls!!! *gives you the keys to your suite in the dollhouse* Proud of you!!!
xoxo,
thevirgodoll ♡
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see also:
confidence tag
other doll diaries
advice
2K notes · View notes
mosaickiwi · 2 months
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14DWY As a Drama AU
Hey remember when I said I’d post this in February oopsies!! (don’t ask me about demon!ren i will cry)
Open at your own risk this thing is LONG. Tried to give everyone at least a little something! upon putting this in my drafts i realized olivia exists i'll add her at some point uhhh. Also you can tell how much I love Elanor... hehe
14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI
The cult classic romantic thriller, 14 Days With You, is now a drama! Coming to all your favorite streaming platforms this summer. A whirlwind romance gone right and wrong that you DON’T want to miss.
Cast List
[REDACTED]
🖤 Quiet kid that used the after school theater program to delay returning home. Never wanted to perform, but loved doing costumes, make up, and correcting others (in his mind) on how to portray their roles. 
🖤 Spent a little extra time perfecting the costumes of a certain someone who didn't even know they existed. He always traded house chores with his sister so she'd sit in the audience to solely film Tree #2's performance.
🖤 Was an apprentice special effects makeup artist after graduation at first, particularly for horror films, but it didn't exactly pay the bills when they left home.
🖤 Easily rose to the top in their acting career due to his dedication for crafting characters to perfection. 
🖤 Dolly Parton/Lady Gaga-esque in their separation of work and life—completely unrecognizable in their regular civilian attire. Paparazzi have never gotten a picture of them in all their years trying.
🖤 Has zero issues getting into character, but does "method acting" on occasion to make sure people leave them alone on set. And also to fuck with directors and producers they don't like. Notoriously difficult to work with because of it + their overall attitude towards others, still gets hired somehow.
🖤 Got offered the role as the main love interest in 14DWY without an audition, thanks to a previous manipulative pink haired character he played in a film that ended up never being released. (2017 Ren because it's funny)
 Angel (you!)
💜 Participated in the same after school theater program as [REDACTED] and Leon for a few semesters before you got bored of it. Curiosity for acting resurfaced later in life.
💜 Newbie actor at the recently formed talent agency of your friend. Only starred as non-speaking roles or background characters in small productions until the drama. You moved back to Corland Bay after uni for the better industry prospects.
💜 You initially auditioned for a very small role in the drama as an employee in a seaside shop at first, but somehow you wound up as the lead? (un)lucky you.
💜 Feel free to fill in the blank for any whys and hows you think of to fit your OC/self/sona as you so please <3
Elanor
💖 Normally an actress and casting director, first time as an executive producer for the drama. Dreams of bringing her own romantic screenplays to life. Hasn't quite proven herself the way she wants in the industry to feel confident enough in them. 
💖 Catalyst for the drama being made. A "friend" mistakenly recommended the 14DWY book to her. She absolutely loathes all the psychological horror of it but sees the potential it has.
💖 Also the reason [REDACTED] was immediately cast, and you as well once she saw your chemistry with him while reading for a minor role. He hadn't shown a fraction of as much interest when reading lines with other potential candidates, so she decided to take the risk of an untested talent as the headliner.
💖 Refuses to use her family's name to get her stuff made. She wants her works to speak for themselves. Very picky about who she works with due to her family having hands in most of Corland's entertainment industry so she hardly gets a genuine interaction beyond ass-kissing.
💖 Always partial to working with Conan's small studio since he was the only director to give her any sort of criticism in spite of her family, as gentle and polite as it was. She still cried a little in the dressing room though.
💖 Genuine confusion when Conan wants her to act as both a producer and assist with direction. She only intended to bring it to his interest. But how could she say no to someone whose judgment and opinion she respects so much?
Conan
💖 Runs and owns a small scale studio in the Bay that seems to pick and choose its productions at random. It is in fact Alice sneaking into her dad's home office and putting scented stickers on the ones she likes. (She only reads the titles)
💖 Extremely proud of Elanor for getting so far on her own, and would take on one of her dozens of scripts no questions asked if she'd only work up the courage to show him one. So imagine his surprise when she comes to him with a romantic horror instead of one of the fairy tale romances he sees her scribbling notes on during breaks.
💖 While he’s the one with the final say, he does try to let Elanor have as much free reign as possible on the project in the hopes to boost her confidence.
Kiara
💖 A super-star actress and model that got her start in Corland’s local industry, but quickly hit it big. 
💖 When she isn’t drowning in work, she’ll swing through town to check in on her sister.
💖 Desperately wants to star in one of Elanor’s productions, but respects her sister’s desire for independence. Though she does like to tease about certain casting decisions on the drama when made aware of them.
the rest of the cast are unfortunately very silly i couldn't resist
Moth
💖 Started a talent agency out of spite for the terrible castings in their favorite media. Got further invested upon realizing they could read the scripts before the movies or show adaptations were even announced.
💖 The one who pushed you to audition for a minor role in the production once the rumor about who was cast as the main love interest reaches them. They've heard all the horror stories about [REDACTED] so wanted the inside scoop. Horrified and fascinated to find out you get the lead role. It’s like watching a train wreck.
Leon
💖 Joined the theater program initially because of you, but got really into it. Moved away to attend a performing arts school until his mother got sick.
💖 Took every wacky infomercial or street performance gig he could find to pay the hospital bills until Teo found out and swooped in.
💖 Eternally grateful for the burden of financial ruin being relieved, so he always accepts the jobs Teo gets for him. He definitely won’t complain since he’s not dressed in an animal costume and shouting nonsensical slogans for cleaning products.
Teo
💖 Met Leon through a shared production and quickly bonded. Attended a different performing arts school and met Jae as a child.
💖 Almost the exact opposite of his game character purely for the funnies. Shy, introverted, can’t flirt to save his life. Still a nepo baby but he can hold his own in acting. Doesn’t like his character much, but is extremely jealous of the confidence he oozes.
💖 Leon and Jae are his only friends in the industry so he uses his sway to get them parts if they haven't already gotten a call back. Gets REALLY nervous on set for certain roles so he needs their support.
Jae
💖 Attended the same school as Teo when they were kids, and is constantly pitching intentionally bad ideas and joking on set to reassure his friend.
💖 A little bit of a thrill seeker, so does all his own small stunts if he thinks he’s capable. Stands there and gawks watching the more extreme stunts, loudest to clap when they go well.
💖 Kept bringing Maple to the shoots cause how could he even think about leaving her at home? She would occasionally break her leash and wander into a scene for head scratches and kisses. The film crew always booed when a PA came to take her off set.
Violet
💖 Completely terrible at caring for plants. Inspired by her role, she starts vlogging about her plant mom journey before shooting even begins. All her advice is completely wrong and terrible. Her personal assistant keeps her in the dark by tending to the plants themselves to fix her mistakes.
💖 Finds out she has a talent for flower arrangement, though. Does thank you vases for the cast and crew on all her future productions that last a lifetime because her PA made sure all the flowers were fake.
Exposition
(silly on set shenanigans)
🎬 Scenes get retaken quite a bit, since you’re still extremely new to it all. Most of the cast and crew expect anger out of [REDACTED] after the 4th call for a re-shoot on the first day’s library scene, but he’s surprisingly cracking jokes about his dye job and reassuring you that you’re doing great. The infamously ill-tempered actor is smiling somehow… even being patient? Not glaring down his co-star for minor slip ups? They cannot recognize this person.
🎬 Violet and [REDACTED] naturally butt heads on set. She respects their acting, not the actor. Zero hesitation to snap back if he’s getting snarky with a PA. You’re the one people have to beg to separate them, and you’re completely baffled that [REDACTED] doesn’t treat others as nicely as he treats you.
🎬 Even though Elanor is a nervous wreck about the first real thing to ultimately make or break her career, she’s scarily efficient on set—as long as no one distracts her. She does get sidetracked once in a while, only because she loves chatting and answering any questions the cast or crew might have. She even brings one of her own cats to set during a slower day to see if they can get along with Maple. Leaves Conan in charge when the horror scenes are being shot. They’re both put off by how vivid they feel, but Conan at least can grin and bear it. 
🎬 You and Leon manage to catch up on set while [REDACTED] is otherwise occupied shooting said horror scenes. You tease him about a few infomercials you saw when looking up his actor reel, and Leon teases you back about your unlucky streak of being a tree or a rock in every play the theater program put on when y’all were younger. Laughs even harder once he finds out your most prominent roles until then were “unnamed zombie #5 at the bottom of the pile” and “sleeping train passenger.”
🎬 Try as he might, [REDACTED] doesn’t convince Elanor to change up a few crucial parts of the script for his benefit. His offhand threats of leaving the production fall on deaf ears, as she is all too happy to do re-shoots to make Teo the lead. His innocent hints to you about the shoddy script fly over your head for some reason! You love how it's turning out, what does he mean?
🎬 Super shy Teo prefaces and warns his co-stars before acting in every scene of his character being excessively flirty. Most of the actors have worked with him at some point or another beforehand, so they let him go through his routine without issue. Some crew members love the whiplash of him switching between overly courteous and smarmy, others vastly prefer the flirty character and mourn the loss as production comes to a close.
The Build Up
📺 The higher ups pressure Violet to start a short-lived streaming career to boost interest, since she’s hopeless with plants. She amasses a cult following for her MMO reviews, blind raids on new patches, and her wild ride of a Minecraft playthrough. In the end she winds up preferring to play games off stream, but once in a blue moon she’ll do a first time raid stream so her more dedicated fans can join and watch her alliance get wiped. Creative trolling is highly encouraged.
📺 Teo, Jae, and Leon appear on a late night TV show for promotion. It was meant to be for Teo and [REDACTED] at first. (Where’s the leading lover? [REDACTED] refused all promo appearances or sit downs without you being involved in them.) The host plays a clip that Teo’s particularly embarrassed about, and he hides his face in shame when the crowd hoots and hollers praise about his portrayal.
📺 [REDACTED] comes across as doting and overprotective of you once you’re pushed into the spotlight of celebrity, and shows increasingly concerning behaviors as the premiere looms closer. Depending on your response, they’ll back off to a point or dial it up. Interviewers and consumers mistake it as the eccentric actor’s “method acting” so the red flags just slide right past.
📺 Elanor and Conan guest star in a podcast for off-the-cuff romance enthusiasts. Their strangely cagey and joking comments like “there were so many retakes we couldn’t keep track of what was meant to be the actors messing around or part of the final cuts,” and “we’ve actually sent all the reviewers 1 of 14 versions with completely different endings,” leave listeners all the more curious to see the film.
The Climax
🎉 Reception is huge, in good ways for most. The majority of the cast see a surge in popularity if they didn’t already from the hype. 
🎉 Teo bemoans his endless offerings for sarcastic pretty boy jobs, Leon makes enough to get picky about his roles (and pay Teo back), Jae somehow cons a studio into an action film starring Maple—and subsequently adopts every single one of her stunt doubles. 
🎉 Moth throws the agency away to start adapting anime and manga themselves. Elanor finally feels validated enough to bring one of her romantic screenplays to the big screen, starring her sister Kiara and a very enthusiastic Violet as the leading couple. 
🎉 Conan’s studio is overloaded with scripts, and Alice runs out of scented stickers that much quicker. They are severely backlogged send help.
🎉 One determined conspiracy theorist sets out to prove those missing 13 versions of the ending are real, based on minor cuts and inconsistencies purposefully left in the public release.
The End, Roll Credits
choose your own ending
Bad End 💔 - A Falling Star
💔 If you respond negatively to [REDACTED]’s demeanor during shoots and promo: he plays the waiting game, uses his connections and blackmail to make sure all your roles without his name attached don’t garner nearly as much attention as the ones where you’re co-stars.
💔 Your negotiating power quickly plummets as you fall out of demand and end up begging just for the non-speaking roles you once loathed.
💔 The careers of anyone you got close to on set fall apart much faster than yours, before they’re outright blacklisted in the industry.
💔 You begrudgingly call up your last option. He can’t do much for your friends, but their offer to help you make a comeback is always open.
Neutral End 💌 - Just One More Try
💌 If you respond indifferently to [REDACTED]’s demeanor: the drama leads to you getting more offers, though a handful are for playing opposite of [REDACTED], as the on-screen chemistry was too much for studios to ignore for cash grabs.
💌 Elanor has rid herself of the drama’s subsequent rights, despite positive reception, so a sequel sprouts up in the works at a different studio. One that doesn’t mind catering to the whims of their actors when it comes to script integrity.
💌 You arrive on the set to find that not just one, but all of your cast mates except for them were written to have much smaller parts in the sequel. In fact, you rarely find a scene in the revised script where [REDACTED] isn’t alongside you.
💌 Sadly the contract is air tight, just put up with it until it’s over… What’s this clause about further sequels?
Good End 💍 - Off Into the Sunset
💍 If you respond positively to [REDACTED]’s demeanor: you’ll sadly announce at the post premiere press conference that acting was a one-and-done adventure for you. Retired effective immediately, no farewell interviews.
💍 You’re spotted around town for a few weeks in a mask with a tall, darkly dressed companion at your side before you disappear from the public eye and Corland Bay all together.
💍 A few of your friends at least have an idea of where you are, and they meet up with you whenever you're in a nearby city. None of them can recognize the man glued to your side, though. Not that he'd say anything to clue them in.
💍 After months of near inactivity, [REDACTED] mysteriously deletes their socials without a word, sparking confusion and outrage among hardcore fans still desperately hoping for a sequel.
158 notes · View notes
missdaytonawrites · 10 months
Text
tr@ck 07 • e. williams
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summary - perv!ellie hc's!
WC - 1k
cw/tw - as always, MDNI! 18+ content, ellie williams is a DAWG lmao, afab!reader, hyper-fem coded!reader, dub-con, mentions of marijiuana and paraphernalia, smut smut smuuuut, talk of strap-ons, fingering (r!receiving) and more lol.
A/N - hey slay queens and kings and things, no i dont want to talk about the phantom fic lolsies maybe one day i'll just quit bringing it up! this is to tie you nasty bitches over while i work on this little surprisssseeeeeeeee oooooohhh. and also! yes i am abbys specialest little princess but i love me some of ellie. so here! maybe this will be the catalyst for an ellabs fic
"met a girl who likes my body, said she wants to break your teeth."
• its already established within the tlou community, that ellie williams is a PERV! but like.. in my head? shes pervy like..
• she stares for just a little too long when you change in front of her. literally has to talk herself down from letting at a low whistle upon seeing the swell of your breasts.
• always finds a way to get you into lingerie stores when you two go out. lowkey ends up picking out every piece you buy bc… you love listening to her.
• perv!ellie cannot watch you eat/drink certain things because of the implied sensuality. popsicles? nope. pasta? absolutely not. drinking out of a straw? she’s gotta go.
• she was 110% the first person who got you high. quickly making it a habit, because you are even more pliant when you get all stoned.
• speaking of? in addition to your astonishing obedience when ya’ get all fucked up, ellie williams cannot deny how much she loves watching you wrap your lips around a pipe.
• the first time you get high with her, your eyes glaze over and your nipples harden through your little tank. she would scoot closer and flick one, “look at that, doll!” you just giggle and she waves the pipe in front of your face. “ain't it silly the way this stuff works!”
• takes secret photos of you laughing, bending over, getting dressed.
• perv!ellie dances with you in the kitchen. dancing turns into wrestling, and she loves wrestling because of how close she gets to be to you.
• brings you around her friends to show you off, like she doesn't get upset when they very obviously eye you. “this one’s mine. so back off..” she would tell them when one asks your relationship status.
• she sneaks little touches to your thighs or waist when you sleep.
• one night when you wake up from her touch and ask “whats goin’ on, els?” she just hushes you and tells you that “all friends do this, silly.” as she pulls you closer, spooning you. “just makin’ sure you sleep reeeal good!” later that night she def lets a few fingers slip beneath your panties.
• i’m a firm believer in the fact that ellie used to get stoned and go people-watching, used to. now she gets stoned and goes “you-watching.” like, since meeting you, her favorite pastime has become sparkin’ up, and watching you! things like picking up your room, baking, doing your makeup or hair. its all so interesting, you are so interesting.
• she steals your panties 100%. and maybe shoves them in her face when she touches herself. :0
• always finds a way to bring up sex. she will, without a doubt, ask you blatant questions about what's happening in your sex life. all she gets out of you is your detailed explanation on how you masturbate.
• you would tell her sometimes it's difficult to keep going at a certain point and that you don't think you’ve ever made yourself cum.
• and when she hears that? her eyes go wide. her mind runs rampid with filthy ideas. she feels like she's dreaming when she asks if you would show her, and you say yes..
• she could see the hesitation in your eyes at the questions first proposal… but ellie, ever the charmer, prods until she hears what she wants.
• pulling you close and hushing you, she would say: “this is normal baby, cross my heart!” then throw her hands up in defense before leaning in to close the space between you two.
• after that, her hands are everywhereee!!! on your waist, sliding up your back then down to squeeze your ass, up again to tangle in your hair and then dropping the slightest bit to cup your face.
• when she reaches further down and realizes that you aren't wearing any panties she swears you’re trying to kill her.
• “forgot how to put on panties sweetheart?” she’d chuckle at you, then spit on her fingers and resume her assault on your core.
• her fingers inside and her breath on your neck make it hard for you to speak but, even then you manage to tell her, “no! didnt forget els!” and so she laughs some more, stops touching you and prys, “well then where’d your cute little panties go, doll?”
• in that moment, you let out an exasperated breath and come clean. “hnng! they got all sticky and hot when i thought about seeing you today, so i took em’ off!!!” you sound on the verge of tears.
• perv!ellie could no longer take it, she pushes you down onto your bed and starts to work on you. slender fingers circling your clit and she bites and licks at your neck. “yeah? got all excited ‘cause i was comin’ over?”
• when you dont answer her.. she gathers up a rather obscene glob of your arousal and brings it up to swipe across your nose, like you're a little puppy in trouble.
• “i asked you a question doll, its rude to ignore people.” all you could offer her was a long, incoherent string of whines with a possible “yes!” thrown in there somewhere.
• at that point, it doesn't take her more than fifteen minutes to finger you to completion, and have her strap on and ready for you.
• ellie fucks into you with nothing but unbridled stamina. never letting up, no, how could she? shes been waiting for this.
• and god, you look like heaven personified underneath her. she was convinced she could cum on the spot from that alone.
• after about 4 orgasms from your end, ellie has to literally pull herself away from you.
• perv!ellie could stay so deep in your pussy for hours on end, she would never leave if she didn't have to. she could work on you until you saw starts.
• the little perv quickly turns into a massive simp the second your head hits her chest and your eyelids flutter.
• “n-no doll, gotta clean you up.” but she just simply cannot stop having you near her, so she carries you to the bathroom and wipes you off.
• the encounter has you woken up a bit and when she gets you back into your room she lays you down, then searches around the floor for her pants.
• pulling out a joint and a lighter, she says “can’t just fuck you like that and not smoke you out after..”
• perv!ellie sleeps like a goddamn baby that night, the taste of you still on her tounge and her head on your tummy.
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hope the ellie giiirls love this! happy 4th to those who celebrate ✨
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The funny thing is that the writers of OFMD made such reasonable decisions with Ed and Izzy in season 2, and it's pretty much exclusively fandom atmosphere that made people uncomfortable with them.
I can 100% understand why they just used the conversation with Fang as a stand-in for Ed learning how to sit with his guilt and make amends to the crew. Ed is an extremely sympathetic character here; we know that his kraken spiral was not his choice and not how he normally acts. It is extremely in-character for his behavior to shift from kraken mode to sweet Ed as soon as he feels safe and supported again. It is extremely understandable that the crew got comfortable again with him quickly because they never stopped loving him. He never needed a "redemption" arc, he needed a recovery arc, and the show knows that. The writers reasonably assumed they would not need to beat us over the head with convincing us we need to love Ed. They thought they did that work in season 1.
The thing that led to my biggest discomfort with Izzy's arc, on the other hand, is that the writers clearly felt they needed to over-correct. In a flashback-heavy show, we don't get any flashbacks of how Izzy treated Ed in s1, which is what triggered the kraken thing in the first place. He's almost immediately presented so much more sympathetically than in s2 - the catalyst for his character development, Ed reminding him he's replaceable as first mate, happens very quickly so he can be on roughly the same page as the rest of Ed's crew. He got lots of little lines that could've gone to other characters and lots of screen time, and the obvious intention was making sure the audience likes him, which is something the writers (again, reasonably, considering how Izzy acts in s1) assumed they would need to do.
Izzy is saved by the crew despite explicitly having done nothing to "deserve" it, and that's the point. And it's because of the fandom reaction to these characters that it too easily came across as validating the read that Izzy was a completely blameless victim and Ed was the mindless aggressor. Izzy's deathbed apology to Ed did a lot to make me comfortable with his s2 arc because it confirmed that I think the writers always knew what they were doing and hadn't forgotten what Izzy did in s1, but there was a subsection of the fandom who managed to have the read that Izzy was completely blameless up until 20 minutes into the finale.
It makes so much sense that the writers assumed that they wouldn't need to beat us over the head with making sure we love Ed and went hard in the opposite direction with Izzy. I dont' blame the writers for how they wrote it one bit. It really is just because of the fandom atmosphere that it can too easily come across as Izzy getting all the sympathy Ed was never afforded.
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theminecraftbee · 1 year
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so latest hermitcraft episode (from joe's pov) is completely chaos alright! some highlights:
joe starting the episode by surrounding the rift with cats to motivate grumbot (this doesn't work)
grian, solemnly: "history doesn't repeat itself, but it sometimes rhymes" (immediate cut to the chaos of a group hermitcraft recording)
joe didn't know he needed an elytra so he keeps on trying and failing to ender pearl up onto grumbot's hand with everybody else
scar: "ooh, was i a good mayor in your universe grumbot?" grian, with great pain: "please don't ask him that."
"i may have built an evil robot." - grian, being mildly self-aware for once, i guess?
the bridge to the rift being broken and no one having blocks so it's just being rebuilt out of anything people had on hand. this seems to largely be sculk catalysts. guys.
the empires crew has built a tnt canon.
grian: "wait guys, lets all calm down, lets try to have a normal conversation", proceeded by an argument about whether or not the hermits are allowed to leave and, if they are, will they please remove the evil robot. (they will not.)
bdubs: "i flanked them! i flanked them! look at me i'm flanking them!", loudly, as the fighting resumes
oli killing bdubs and saying in the background "look at me! i've killed god."
joe, on getting back through the rift: "i hope this is the right one, i hope this isn't the hermitcraft where jfk assassinated somebody else or something" (fascinating canon implications)
everyone joking about the rift taking scar again because he stood in it for too long on logging in and got teleported
there's a bat in grian's cave and impulse is just in the background failing to hit it with his weapon during several of joe's shots
"where's cod boy he has some explaining to do"
grian coming back through and saying he heard the emperors talking about following them. everyone going "alright get your weapons". xisuma responding "wait, guys, can't we just greet them nicely?" and everyone immediately shouting that down, of COURSE not, don't be stupid.
the emperors all logging in. none of them have elytra to get out of grian's cave. f.
grian, suddenly: "guys pixlriffs is here impulse! impulse do the thing!"
"this week on hermitcraft... me!"
oli, joe, and cleo trying to figure out how to get all three of them out with two elytra between them. joe uses the trident trick.
THE EMPERORS ARE HERE NOW I GUESS LETS GO
just. this episode is so much chaos. please go watch it.
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yuurei20 · 1 month
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Hey Yuurei :) Question - What's Idia's relationship with his parents like? Has he said anything super concrete? I know he's complained about them, but he also complains about everyone haha
Hello hello! Thank you for this question!
(This blog pretends that Main Story elements not released on EN do not exist because spoilers are the worst, so this will just be EN-friendly information!)
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You are very correct! Idia does not seem very thrilled whenever his parents come up in conversation, but he doesn't seem very thrilled about most things unless they are a particular interest of his, so it can be hard to gauge the degree to which he does or does not get along with his family.
He has a line in Book 6 of, "Classic Mom and Dad, always prioritizing efficiency over other people's feelings."
It would be very interesting to hear other examples of this presumably recurring problem: is this truly an issue that his parents struggle with, or is Idia an unreliable narrator?
Vil and Rook, for example, provide a different perspective:
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In Book 7 Idia explains that his parents have told him not to come back home for a while ("That's the diplomatic way to say they're off-loading a nuisance") and Rook responds, "I can sense the deep affection your parents must hold for you."
Idia says he isn't so sure, citing how hard they came down on him post-book-6: "I don't think they've yelled at me that bad since I was eight."
Idia says he gets scolded by his parents pretty regularly, and they will take away his power cables to punish him.
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Vil points out that his parents were supportive both of Ortho's enrollment at NRC and Idia's internship.
Idia seems intent on arguing that his family situation isn't as pleasant as it may seem, saying that this parents advised him not to go into the service industry because he would be a bad fit, but Vil observes, "And that's advice they gave to you personally, regardless of the current circumstances."
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Ortho talks about how he, Idia, their father and mother would all go to parks, forests and rivers together when they were very young, but after Idia withdrew they stopped going out together as a family. Original-Ortho's death may have been something of a catalyst for Idia's strained relationship with his parents.
Idia may also have a complex about not being born into a normal family, saying that he "just wanted to be like everyone else." He may possibly blame his parents for that, as well (in addition to his ancestors, whom he says "screwed over their kids, their grandkids, and everyone," forever).
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Idia says that he got a lot of video games, board games and more from his parents every year for his birthday so he could play in the comfort of his room, which made him super happy, so it seems his parents were supportive of his interests!
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But he also talks about bringing an old jammer that he made as a child with him to NRC because if he hadn’t someone would have thrown it away, says he once got in trouble for taking apart a game console and again for turning a vacuum cleaner into a drone with a technomantic beam cannon.
As the majority of the issues we have heard about thus far have all been from Idia himself, and he does not seem to be an unbiased source of information, it will be interesting to see if maybe there is actually another side to these stories! 👀 Would love to revisit this topic in the future!
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joelswritingmistress · 2 months
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You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 54
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Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 
Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 
Dr. Miller’s castle - my home. It felt like a fortress away from the rest of the world. Neither of us had unpacked. We didn't sit or turn on the television or even a light. We just stood there in this lost, new world we were unwillingly thrust into.
My mind and body, alike, were tired. I didn't think I could accurately answer another question after the time I had spent with the police and investigators, and even a few stray reporters. I knew law enforcement needed every detail to assure Will would remain behind bars for the rest of his days, but I was spent; done.
Word had hit our area. The Lady Killer had been caught. The only thing that made me smile was the mention of James’s name. He had been the catalyst that led to Will’s reveal. We at least had backup from the local police surrounding Woodbridge, and it had to mean something for our testimonies.
“What's going to happen?” I asked quietly. I knew the question was vague, but I meant it in every single sense. Would Carol be okay? Would Chas’s injuries leave him with lingering health issues? Would Dr. Miller and I grow stronger from this or would we drift apart?
Dr. Miller walked up to me and touched my face in the way he always did. Without a word he left a single, gentle kiss on my lips.
“We take it day by day.”
I nodded and looked down. “I don't know what to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“How do we move forward from this? How do we ever get back to normal? Poor Carol..” I shook my head and allowed him to pull me into an embrace.
“Things are broken,” he spoke quietly near my ear. “We have to try to mend them - together.” Dr. Miller hesitated before pulling back and looking me in the eyes.
He appeared as if he was going to speak and then took a deep breath and flicked on a small lantern lamp beside his decanter of bourbon.
“Do you, uh..” Dr. Miller motioned to the liquor but I shook my head and sat down in a chair in the formal living room - the one where we shared our first glass of champagne together on my first night in the castle. I hadn't spent much time in here since.
He poured himself a small glass and sat across from me in an oversized, leather chair. Dr. Miller took another deep breath and leaned forward, swirling the bourbon around in circles in the glass. He took a sip and drew a hand across mouth before looking back up to meet my gaze.
“I killed Ace Deerfield.”
Deep down I knew that. I felt it from the second he had begun talking about his relationship with the dying, old man; but hearing him say it out loud was weighted differently. It made it real.
“Lou asked me to and then took the fall for it. He left me all of this in exchange for it.”
My eyes never left Dr. Miller’s; his never left mine. I responded honestly. “I know.” 
“You know?”
“The possibility crossed my mind,” I admitted with a nod as tears welded up in my eyes. They sat comfortably there for a few seconds before falling. “I was never going to ask.”
“That's what my ex-wife was talking about. She kept my secrets but she couldn't handle being around me because of them.” His Adam's apple leaped in his throat and then settled back in place.
“Can you answer a question for me?” My voice never cracked.
Dr. Miller gave a solemn nod.
“I need to know,” I said quietly with an accompanied deep breath. “Where did you go that one night? The time when we slept in the bedroom with the glass ceiling and I got locked in? You were gone half the night and I had seen someone pull up in a car. They gave you an envelope-”
Dr. Miller glanced down and back up. “Someone paid me to kill Alec Pryor.”
“Alec Pryor..” It took me a second but the light bulb went off. “The original suspect in the Lady Killer case? But he’s alive.” I added, glancing away for just a second before catching his gaze again. “Right?”
Dr. Miller nodded. “I was all set to do it, too. I was sure it was him. I read the details of his sex crimes and it made me extra angry. So, I took the money. I left that night and I was sitting outside of his house. And then I thought of you. And us. I couldn't do it. I did it once for Lou. I had so many conversations with him and I was forced to type out every single word from that case. Ace was a bad man and not only did he rub it in that he got off for his crimes, but he was going to kill again.”
He took another sip of bourbon and went on.
“You don't have to stay with me,” Dr. Miller said, bowing his head. My bottom lip quivered when I saw tears fall from his eyes to the floor. “You deserve better than this; than me. But just know in this short time, you've made me a better man. Alec Pryor might be the scum of the earth but he didn't kill all those girls.. and he's alive because of you.”
I was speechless. I had nothing to offer back, but I realized this wasn't a conversation. It was a confession.
Dr. Miller couldn't look at me. He looked at the shadows on the wall behind the lantern and then the ceiling and the floor. He swirled the bourbon in his glass and swigged from it again with a huff of a breath.
After a lengthy period of silence, I rose to my feet. The faint squeak of the leather caused Dr. Miller to glance up for the first time in several minutes. I paced the short distance across the room to him and kneeled down before him. He appeared as though he was waiting for me to say something - anything; but I didn't have the words. For the first time in my life I didn't know what I was supposed to feel.
Supposed to feel? I questioned my own thought process and quietly asked myself: What do you feel?
I rested my head on his knees, using my folded arms as a pillow and a tear journeyed silently down my cheek. When Dr. Miller’s hand rested on the top of my head, my eyes closed and more tears fell.
I let out a deep exhale and laid there for a while, until my legs began to ache from the position that I sat. Still, I endured the discomfort. It was nothing in comparison to the internal agony I felt.
What was to come, I didn't know. But in that moment, this is all we could do. As the room grew darker with the fade of the overcast evening, I wasn’t surprised to hear the beginning of a steady rain rapping at the rooftops.
How dreadfully poetic.
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