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deceasedream69 · 1 year

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Bomb

This imagine takes place in 7x3

sumary: you're working on what appears to be a really mysterious case with your coworkers, until thing get complicated.

W: mentions of bombs and mental illness

_______________________________________________________-

-"What I'm saying is that it's possible that our unsub has what it's called "Capgras syndrome", Reid started to explain as we were investigating the unsub's childhood home.

-"What's that?", JJ walked towards Spence, Morgan and me next to him already.

-"It's basically an ilusion made by your eyes. You think everyone you know or love is not actually who you see. You get this "imposter" syndrome, where the rest of your senses are able to recognize your friends or family but your eyes trick you into thinking right the opposite. Now mix thinking everyone you love around you is an imposter with military training and you get... well, our unsub"

-"If this is true how should we proceed?", Morgan asked.

-"Is there a cure?", I looked at Spencer, maybe there was a way to save him after all.

-"there are treatments but not really a cure"

-"but what caused our unsub to get the syndrome"

-"it's cause by mayor brain damage like a tumor or...

"the car accident he had on friday", Spencer and I said it at the same time.

-"that'll explain why he's so calmed and focused, he's normal until he sees an "imposter", Morgan explained and Spencer nodded.

-"And he's looking for the last hope he has, his wife and daughter"

We went back to the BAU, informed by Rossi that our unsub kidnapped someone else we were thinking about options to get close to him.

-"I can't believe you can have someone you love so much in front of you and just...", I made a mimick of my head exploding. "it must be tiring and... so sad, you never really get to spend time with someone that you know"

I closed my eyes.

-"what are you doing?"

-"well I can recognize your voice..." I lifted my hands and started to softly touch his face. "You said you could recognize someone with the rest of your senses, like the touch", I smiled. "I can tell you're Spence"

-"you could just hear my voice, no need to get all touchy"

-"well your voice doesn't really allow me to see or... at least feel, your pretty face"

-"all set, let's call our unsub", Rossi intervened, but I could still see Spencer's red cheeks.

After the phone call we were all on edge, apparently they managed to find the victim our unsub was holding hostage but our unsub wasn't there, just a radio he used to trick is into thinking he was still there. But our worried grew even bigger when Penelope appeared.

- "a dead police officer inside Quantico was found"

- "inside?", Maybe I didn't listen properly, I hoped that was it but Penelope only nodded.

We were screwed.

The whole team entered in kinda panic mode, although no one would admit it. We had to get the unsub's wife and daughter Ina safe place inside the building. Rossi, JJ and Spencer were still in the desk area but Hotch sent me to grab some things from his office.

Rossi pressed the call option again, hoping to hear the unsub's phone ringing to at least have an idea about his location.

- "Luke?", Rossi asked.

- "now I want you to listen to me very carefully, we both know we don't want to make such a mess"

- "what do you mean by that?"

He pushed me out of the office, his hand grabbing my neck to guide me, and the bomb strapped to my shoulders falling onto my chest. I lifted my hands to show our team I wasn't armed, he hid himself behind me, holding a little remote on the other hand.

Morgan and JJ instantly got their guns out.

- "no!" Reid yelled at them, Rossi analyzing the whole situation, I decided to just stay silent, looking at the floor.

- "Now, no more tricks, or your agent here, along with us, is gone. Where is my wife and daughter?"

- "Luke?", A woman's voice sounded through a microphone.

- "sweetie? Is that you? Are you ok?"

- "yes, we're fine and safe, would you please let this innocent people go?"

- "go? After what they're doing to you?"

- "daddy, please, I want to go home", a little girls voice sounded this time, she sounded scared, and so was I. Lifting my gaze slightly to at least look at my team one last time, he tighten his grip on my neck, making me look back down.

- "please let them go, honey"

- "we can reunite you again with your wife and daughter", Spencer intervened. The team looking at him. "But you have to keep your eyes closed"

- "what?" He said grabbing my neck tighter.

- "ok... You- you have this syndrome, called the capgras syndrome, your eyes, basically, are playing tricks on you, making you feel like everyone around you is an imposter, but you just have to close your eyes"

- "please, darling, close your eyes and I'll come out"

- "please, daddy, close your eyes"

I couldn't hold the pain in my neck anymore, biting my lip to suppress any kind of whine or sound that could escape.

- "but you need to let our agent go", Rossi tried to get closer to us, but he pulled be back. After a few seconds, hesitating, he let me go. A couple of professional guys wearing suits grabbed me and took the bomb off me. I felt so relieved.

The unsub closed his eyes and was handcuffed, the wife entered the room, warning him to not open his eyes.

I fell to the nearest chair, my breathing uneven and my shoulder hurting as fuck.

- "hey, are you okay?", He kneeled before me.

I shook my head and let the tears flow as I rested my head on his shoulder, his hand stroking my back slowly.

I could hear the commotion at the background but I decided not to pay attention to it, I'll catch on it later.

Spencer and I stood there for a moment. Morgan tried to approach to ask me how I was feeling but Spencer shook his head so he decided to give us space.

- "how are you feeling?", He said stroking my head now.

I sniffed.

- "I was... Scared"

- "honestly", he voice was really soft, like he was whispering, "I was scared to, scared to not see your pretty face anymore either, not even being able to feel it", he said running a few fingers over my cheek. I smiled and closed my eyes , trying to steady my breathing.

- "it's all over, let's go home and get you some sleep", he said helping me up.

The end :)

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littlexscarletxwitch · 1 year

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── ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲

paring: florence pugh x gn!reader

tag(s): fluff, flo being a simp over r, my woman here has no game

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited, not proofread, language

word count: 0.8k

note: I was actually writing a request but I soft of diverted from the main plot and came up with this little fic. It's not that good but I feel like it's cute, so here you go. A short fic so you guys don't forget about me (I'm so dramatic). I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you enjoy! <3

note 2: Would anyone be interesting in a masterlist??

requests are open! + check my rules here <3

Florence had one rule when working that she always made sure to follow: never ever date a coworker.

No matter how pretty they were, how smart they were or how interesting they seemed to be, she never ever dared to break her most sacred rule. Starting a relationship with a coworker was problematic. It would always get messy and there would be tension around the set, and things would get weird and complicated. And she couldn’t risk having to work in that kind of atmosphere. Not when she would commit one hundred percent to every single one of her projects, not when she had to give the very best of her, not when she had to be flawless. But all of that came crashing down once she met you.

There was something about you that caught Florence’s eyes the second she laid her eyes on your frame. She didn’t know if it was your pretty face, or the way your eyes would light up when talking about the movie you two were working on, or the sound of your laugh. But there was something so familiar yet unknown about you, and she needed more of that comforting feeling.

At first she tried to convince herself that all she wanted was to be friends with you, because she wasn’t about to break her golden rule. But the more alone time she would spend with you, the harder it was to keep telling herself that same lie. She just couldn't’ stay friends with you, she didn’t want to. The more she got to know you the harder they were to keep those feelings at bay. The harder it became for her to not blush when you complimented her looks for the movie, or that warm feeling she would get in her stomach everytime your hand would brush hers, or that peacefulness she would feel by just hearing your laugh.

But the problem was that she didn’t know who you felt. You were touchy with her, but you were touchy with everyone. You laughed at her jokes, but you would find even the dumbest dad joke hilarious. So she had to take matters into her own hands. She had to grow some ovaries and just ask you out. Even if that meant she was going to break her golden rule, even if she wasn’t sure you would feel the same. Besides, shooting was almost over, so if things didn’t work out her way she just had to wait one more week and she would never see your stupid pretty face again. Although that wasn’t at all what she actually wanted.

She decided to wait for the lunch break. The only break that would have since you were the First Assistant Director, an extremely tiring job if someone would ask her. But she knew that it was what you loved doing. Not an assistant but it would eventually lead to being a director and that was all you aspired to be in life.

Lucky for her anytime the bell announcing the lunch break would ring. Florence counted from one to three in her head and then the loud piercing sound filled her ears. She quickly made her way to where you were standing.

“Hey there!” she internally cursed herself once she heard the high pitched in her words.

“Flo, hey. Is everything okay? Do you need something?” she smiled at your words, always being the caretaker on set. Well, after all that was you job.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. I just need to ask you something. But it’s more of a personal question, not work related. But it’s not personal for you, I mean, it is since you are involved. But it’s more of a personal question for me because I’m the one asking you. Does that make sense? I’m not making any sense, am I? It’s just—.”

“Hey,” you cut her off, placing your hand on her shoulders trying to calm her down. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” she quickly mumbled so low that you couldn’t hear the words she said. “What I’m trying to say is that,” she took a deep breath. She was being stupid, this was not how she planned this whole thing to go. “I really like you Y/n. And I would love to take you out sometime.”

There she said it. it was said. Out in the world and she couldn’t take it back. She didn’t want to though. No matter your answer, it felt good to confess her feelings.

Your hands moved down from her shrouds to find her hands, giving them a squeeze and your thumbs triling circles in them.

“I would love to go out with you. I was actually going to ask you earlier, but I chickened out,” you shyly admitted.

“You were?”

“How could I not? You are something really special Florence Pugh. It would be a mistake to just let you walk away.”

A smile found its way to Florence's lips. Maybe breaking her golden rule wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe it was exactly what she had to do.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh x you #florence pugh x y/n #florence pugh x gn reader #florence pugh imagine #florence pugh fluff #littlexscarletxwitch's fic #your fav florence pugh blog <3

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robinruns · 4 months

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Once again, I come to tumblr to whine

I'm tired of looking for a house. I'm tired of nothing being affordable. I'm tired of Kyle not wanting to spend more. I'm tired of having nothing to contribute.

I'm tired of my job. I'm tired of having no options. I'm tired of not having the confidence to look for something else. I'm tired of my coworkers. I'm tired of feeling stuck because I need my insurance.

I'm tired of being mentally ill. I'm tired of being out of shape. I'm tired of worrying about everything all the time. I'm tired of feeling like an emotional burden. I'm tired of feeling useless. I'm tired of feeling like I need to cry but I can't because I'm at work.

I'm tired of society. I'm tired of capitalism. I'm tired of so much bad shit going on and not being able to do anything about it. I'm tired of my friends being thousands of miles away.

I just wanna cry, but I can't right now.

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sunsetrubdowns · 5 months

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Also. Hi. I remembered I can talk as much as I want to on here. Do you want to hear about this guy I kind of broke up with but kind of wasnt really dating to begin with and will probably have to break up with again for good measure. This actually turned into an insanely long post because it's an insane situation so I'm putting it under a cut because I love you and your scrolling experience and it's probably incoherent anyways

So. Well you may or may not be aware but I was couch surfing for like 3 weeks in September and a friend of mine who I met through work helped me out a lot with moving my stuff out of my apartment and into storage and helping me get my shit together. And in the weeks leading up to me moving out/while I was homeless we spent a lot of time together (like. Pretty much every day LOL) because I needed to be constantly distracted and he apparently had all the free time in the world. Cool!

Now it's important to give the context that he had asked me out back in like June and I said no because not only did I think we had very little chemistry and he was very needy but ALSO I was going through one of the worst depressive periods in my life. Really just was not the vibe at the time. Also my read on the situation was 100% correct like I was right about everything lol.

So you know obviously I'm aware that he has a little crush on me this whole time but I'm in a truly delusional headspace where I'm like well this is not so bad :) I'm having fun hanging out with him so whatever happens, happens :). And what happens is that WHILE I am still homeless we end up having a little feelings talk where I'm like well this is nice but I've kind of got a lot going on right now and I need to settle my life situation out before I'm comfortable getting into anything official or serious. And he's like yeah I totally understand that. But then maybe a week later after I secure and move into my place he IMMEDIATELY. And I mean like immediately. Starts calling me his girlfriend. Not to me but to other people. Like going around to my coworkers and people at work to be like btw we're together now :). Which made me kind of uncomfortable but I just brushed it off because I am a huuuuuge pushover and I was like, sure I guess we're together. Even though I'm very private about my personal life and it took me like a good month to refer to him as my boyfriend out loud and I didn't even MENTION him to my best friends (hi besties) for a couple weeks after that. Because I was like damn I don't even know what to say. Also he never even attempted to do anything more than hold my hand a few times so we were still just hanging out the way we had been to begin with.

And THEN he started coming to the bowling alley where I work every single night and just like.... hanging around for hours and hours until we closed to drive me home (6 blocks away) and to talk to me while I'm working and on my breaks. And when he drove me home after work every SINGLE night he would park and walk me to my door and unless I was very clearly like yeahhh I'm exhausted Goodnight Bye :) he would often invite himself into my apartment just to hang around until I was like. Okay I have to go to bed because it's after 1am please leave. And it got to the point where I felt like I never had any time to myself and my social battery was constantly at 0 and I was also spending way more money than was within my budget because he was dragging me out to eat and do things constantly and to go to Disneyland and shit and also at the place where I work every single day and not leaving no matter how clearly Im like hey sorry I'm just. soooo tired right now and work is so busy etc. There were only THREE days in October that I had totally to myself. I could barely even find time to spend with my roommate I had just moved in with and he also was not really seeming to spend time with any of his own friends when he'd had an incredibly active social life like, just a month ago.

It was starting to really freak me out that I felt like he was trying to replace not only his previous long term girlfriend who broke up with him earlier this year but also his entire social circle. With lil old me. And I felt like he was trying to force a level of familiarity with me that simply was not there like... man you don't even KNOW me like that don't talk to me like you know me. Don't talk to me like you know me when you're also trying so hard all the time to like, impress me and prove something to me.

It got to the point by mid October that I was like desperate for time to myself to decompress and process things and most of my mental energy was going to trying to find ways to avoid him and scripting a breakup speech in my head. And instead of trying to talk to ME he would go into my workplace and try to ask my work friends. While they were working. For advice on what to do when I seemed distant or unhappy. And even though they really only ever told him to just communicate with me he decided to wait until the day before Halloween to be like "I realized that I was maybe doing to much by going to hang around your workplace every day and also it's been a month and a half but I want to officially ask you to be my girlfriend now :)" and was somehow genuinely shocked when I said no. And basically outlined everything I've said here to be like I need to be left alone or I'm going to kill myself a little bit so please leave me alone.

But it seems like what he took out of the conversation was "I need to take some naps and then I'll feel better and then we can go back to normal :)" because he just kept being like "how do you feel how are you doing you look better are you feeling rested" and continuing to go to my coworkers and my roommate at work and asking about me and show up at the bowling alley frequently and text me continually as I just brushed him off over and over and eventually stopped replying to his messages. Until finally last week I was working on a day I normally don't work and he came in and I, again, kind of brushed him off when he came to just like do small talk with me. So he went to my roommate who was also working to be like "oh I think I'm going to talk to them today we need to talk but I don't know if they just want to be left alone or not..." while she (blessed angel that she is) just refused to give him any real information. But then he just kept like, trying to chitchat with me while I was working so I started brushing him off again and he ended up going to my roommate AGAIN to vent about me. And then left and texted her all this stuff about how he doesn't know if I like him anymore but he's just going to leave me alone and try to get over me etc and how he's been so stressed over stuff with his parents etc etc and framing it as if HE is breaking things off with ME. But since then has continued to go to her to ask about me and talk about how he's trying to get over me and heartbreak and whatever and etc. But has not expressed anything at all to me personally in any capacity since I told him I needed space.

Meanwhile I've gone on multiple dates with someone I genuinely really like and who has slept over at my apartment multiple times LOL. And there are so many little details of weird shit that I've had to cut for time here but like genuinely what the hell man

Anyways have I mentioned that this man is 34 years old. Because he's 34 years old. And if you've read all this you are so cordially invited to share your thoughts and/or guess his chart placements in the replies. Funny as fuck situation that I'm in

#🍀#and now Ive made a tumblr post about it to get it all out. god bless america

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your-queer-dad · 21 days

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Hi dad!

I was wondering if I could get some advice? I’m in college (a 2nd semester junior transmasc), and I feel like I don’t really have any close friends. I have a lot of friends on campus, in clubs I’m in, in my classes, my coworkers, but none of them are like very close, close. Like we’re never together outside of class, or work, or rehearsal, etc. I’m alone most of the time, and I feel like I just don’t even know how to start making closer and deeper friendships. I’ve been pretty depressed this semester and I am sad thinking I’m going to graduate so soon, and it feels like I haven’t done any of the “stereotypical college shit,” if you know what I mean? I was homeschooled, was basically abused in ballet schools in high school (lol they treated us so badly), didn’t have any friends in high school and really struggled with my mental health then. I think I’m generally pretty friendly and I like being extroverted, I’ve discovered, but like it feels like there’s some sort of wall preventing me from going further with my friendships. I think being trans also makes me feel pretty isolated, even tho a lot of my friends are queer and trans. Yesterday, I got back to my dorm after classes and working in the research lab I’m an undergrad in, and I just wanted to spend time away from my schoolwork and research. None of my friends were available/responded to me id they wanted to hang out, one of my friends I was hanging out with earlier this semester has been blowing me off because they’re hooking up with this girl and they’re together a lot. I decided to take a little walk around campus to see if maybe I’d run into someone or see something interesting, or many go get a drink or something, but then I just saw everyone else hanging out with their friends and I got even more upset that I’m literally always alone, so I went back to my dorm and just cried and cried. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I want to have close friendships but it feels like I wasn’t good at it when I was in elementary school (I was in public school for that, homeschooled for middle and high school), I didn’t have any friends in middle or high school, was also bullied in middle school at my old dance studio, and god I just feels like it’s repeating again. I’m sick of being alone. I also think I’ve been pretty depressed this semester, I am losing interest in things I usually like, I want to pick up a new hobby or something because everything I usually like just isn’t doing it for me - but like I’m so busy I have no idea how I would even begin fitting that into my schedule. :( i also got injured this semester and so I haven’t been able to dance and do weightlifting like usual and that’s been majorly throwing me off too. I just feel a bit lost and I’m sad that I’m so close to graduation and it feels like I’ve wasted me time in undergrad and have been prioritizing my academics and research too much, I don’t know :(

Do you have any advice on what to do? I’m so tired of being always alone :(

And I’m so sorry this is so long, I really don’t have anyone else to talk to :(

Hey kiddo! Thank you for reaching out, it sounds like a really tough situation and I'll do the best I can to help out.

Honestly, I completely understand where you're coming from. Making friends is hard, especially deep close friendships. And my honest answer is it takes time, and work and a lot of energy.

But the first step is truly just being yourself. I know it's so overplayed and cheesy, I'm sorry. But doing things that you want to do, talking to new people and accepting opportunities to meet people- basically just putting yourself out there- the right people will come.

Keep doing what you like do, and speak to new people, especially people with similar interests to you. Good friendships take time, as annoying as it is- but you will find the right people for you I promise. And until then, you're more than welcome to reach out to me anytime you need to chat!

I'm so proud of you kiddo, and I'm here for you night or day

- dad x

#finch rambles #ask a finch!

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silverynight · 2 years

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The interview

<---Previous

Part II

Even Todoroki notices that there's something wrong with him; he asks him if he can help him, but Izuku assures him he's alright.

"You know I'm here for you, right?"

Izuku looks back at him, smiles and squeezes his hand to show him he understands.

"Thank you, you're a very good friend, Todoroki."

The pro hero with mismatched hair blushes and nods at him before he continues walking alongside Izuku.

Even though the whole thing with Katsuki happened, he reminds himself that he still has friends...

Speaking of friends, he needs to talk with Uraraka soon.

***

Eijiro looks at his friend with concern; he's not sure what's going on between him and Midoriya, but it's obviously affecting him because Bakugo is head over heels for the other pro hero.

He can see the tension on his shoulders as they walk around the streets. Although Bakugo tries to patrol like it's any other day... It's obvious he can't quite focus at the moment.

Yesterday, he called Eijiro in panic because Midoriya said he was too tired to watch movies, which would be a perfectly normal response coming from anyone, but according to Bakugo that's not the case when it comes to Midoriya.

He had to practically beg his friend to wait to the next day and not to rush to Midoriya's apartment in the middle of the night to make sure he was completely fine.

Eijiro also had to stop Bakugo from storming into Aizawa's office and demand him to put him back with Midoriya. He knows it's not because Bakugo doesn't like him, they're really good friends, but actually because Bakugo can't seem to stand being apart from Midoriya for too long.

He's very much in love.

Eijiro is happy for him, even though Bakugo hasn't actually told Midoriya about his feelings; he was certain they would end up together eventually...

But now... Now he's not so sure.

"Something is going on," Bakugo mumbles, deliberately ignoring the woman trying to get an autograph from him. "My Izuku is not like this."

Usually Eijiro would tease him for saying that Midoriya is his, but the genuine worry on the blond's features makes him stop.

"Maybe he needs some space? It happens to everyone... One day you just want to be–"

"Yeah, but not from me!" Bakugo narrows his eyes. "I'm different, our relationship is different."

Perhaps Ashido is right after all, his friend really needs to get his ego checked.

"You should talk to him then."

Bakugo nods and Eijiro is glad to confirm that his friend has actually matured, at least a little.

"I'll do that right after I tell Aizawa to put us back together! Who does he think he is?"

"He's basically our boss, Bakubro..."

"I don't care!"

Eijiro sighs, knowing that something's going to happen and not necessarily something good...

***

Feeling more tired than usual, Izuku walks back in to the office, followed by Todoroki.

"Do you want me to take you back to your place, Midoriya?"

Looking up at his friend, Izuku smiles at him, glad to have someone like him in his life.

"Actually, I'm going to pay a visit to Uraraka, but thanks anyway, Todoroki. You know–"

Suddenly, Katsuki walks in and takes him by the arm without even saying anything.

"Ka–Uh... What are you doing?"

"Aizawa told me that he'll pair us together again if we both go to his office and request it personally," the pro hero mumbles, looking quite desperate. "So that's exactly what we're going to do before we go to my apartment and–"

"Actually..." Izuku stops and moves his hand away before Katsuki reaches Aizawa's door. "I think we should stay like this... At least for a while."

"HAH?"

Around them, everything goes uncomfortably quiet; Kirishima is pushing Todoroki out of the room and both Katsuki and Izuku find themselves alone in the break room.

"Why? You think I can't keep up with you, nerd?" Katsuki is getting irritated and the green haired hero already regrets saying that; he doesn't have enough energy to argue with his fri... coworker.

"That's not it! It's just... We spend a lot of time together. Don't you want to be with your friends? Besides, we should learn to work with everyone in this agency!" Honestly, Izuku just wants to see Uraraka and tell her everything... He wants to watch movies and forget about the pain in his chest.

"You haven't called me 'Kacchan' since yesterday," Katsuki observes, looking terrifyingly calm. "Why? What did I do?"

Blushing, Izuku shakes his head.

"Nothing..."

"Don't lie to me, Izuku!" There's not just irritation what Izuku sees in Katsuki's eyes, there's also pain. "Tell me so I can fix it! You have to tell me so I can apologize and everything goes back to normal!"

Sighing, Izuku looks up at him, knowing that he'll have to talk about it because Katsuki will never let it go otherwise.

"You don't really want that. Listen, you don't have to pretend to be my friend for my sake... I'm an adult now, I'm not fragile. The apology was more than enough, you don't have to humor me and spend with me all the time just because I want to."

"Hah? What kind of nonsense are you talking about?"

"I watched the interview!" Izuku blurts out, hurt.

"FUCK!"

"Hey, it's okay... I know you don't actually consider me your friend and it's fine... You don't have to pretend anymore, I'm not mad."

He's hurt, not mad, but Katsuki can't know that.

"That's why you've been acting weird all day?" Katsuki mumbles, before running his own fingers through his hair, desperate. "Listen, I didn't mean that! I was panicking and said a stupid thing... Please, Izuku..."

"Don't lie!" This time, he actually feels the irritation spreading through his chest. "Stop pitying me!"

"WHAT? ARE YOU STUPID?"

Instead of getting angrier like the other pro hero, Izuku takes a deep breath, feeling emotionally exhausted suddenly.

"Maybe I am," he mumbles. "Listen, I don't want to fight, okay? I just want to go. Goodnight."

"Shit! No, Izuku... I–I'm sorry! Just let me explain!"

"Goodbye," he mumbles before rushing out of the break room, ignoring Katsuki's voice behind him, calling out his name.

***

"Listen..." Uraraka whispers softly as she runs her fingers through Izuku's green curls while the pro hero keeps eating ice cream. "I'm always on your side, but maybe you should have let Bakugo speak."

"I couldn't–"

"I know, I know..." She cuts him off, moving closer to him on the couch. "But try to hear him out the next time he tries to talk, okay?"

"I don't want him to lie to me..."

"I watched the interview too, Deku-kun. And although I agree he shouldn't have said that, he actually seemed like he was panicking."

"He never panics during an interview! He gets angry and starts cursing but he never–"

"Bakugo froze as soon as he saw the photos," Uraraka says. "Honestly... How can you believe he doesn't care about you after seeing those? In all of them he was looking at you like you were the most important thing in the world to him! I think he just wasn't ready to admit that in front of the cameras..."

Izuku shakes his head. He doesn't want hope, not anymore, because he knows he'll feel even worse when he realizes Uraraka is wrong.

"I don't think those pictures are completely real..."

"Honestly, Izuku–"

"Please, let's not talk about it anymore... Not today."

"Fine, let's watch a movie then."

***

"He's pulling away from me, I can feel it," Bakugo's voice breaks as he paces around Ashido's living room.

Everyone is dead silent, even Kaminari, because none of them have ever seen Bakugo so hurt before. He's clearly suffering.

"You should talk to him," Kirishima insists yet again, prompting the blond to stop to glare at him.

"I'VE TRIED! HE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME!"

"That's because he knows you, he must feel you're hiding something from him," Ashido cuts in. "That's why you should tell him the truth."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Realizing he's yelling again, Bakugo tries to calm himself down. "If I do that I'd scare him away and I'd lose him completely... I don't... I don't think I'd–I know it's pathetic but I want him in my life, okay? It doesn't matter if he just sees me as a friend... I just want everything to go back to what it used to be."

"I don't think that's possible anymore," Kaminari finally blurts out, this time earning a glare from Kirishima because Bakugo grimaces in pain at his words.

"What he means is that things are inevitably going to change after this, but that doesn't mean that they'll change in a bad way... You've been together your whole lives–"

"Not thanks to me," Bakugo cuts him off, looking like he's in pain. "I was always pushing him away. We... I think we finally patched things up because the nerd never gave up on me. I... I never wanted him to go, you know? I was a jerk because I was insecure and I knew he wasn't actually going to leave me."

He stops suddenly, holding back tears, his eyes are impossibly red.

"But now it's different... Now Izuku is pulling away from me and I can almost feel him slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to stop it! I don't want to lose him!"

"Then do exactly what he'd do for you," Ashido says then. "Fight for him! Tell him the truth! Be brave!"

"You know what? I think you're right, Pinky."

***

He shouldn't have stayed with Uraraka, now he's running late for work and he still has to get to his apartment so he can take a shower–

Izuku freezes when he sees Katsuki sitting outside his apartment. He still looks hurt, but he can't understand why, Katsuki should be happy... He's free now.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting for you."

"Why?"

Katsuki chuckles, but his eyes are still dark with pain.

"I want to explain to you what happened, why I said that."

Izuku shakes his head; every time Katsuki lies to him it hurts and he's too tired to hear anything else.

"You don't–"

"The truth," Katsuki cuts him off. "I promise I'll tell you only the truth."

Red eyes meet his, determined and sincere, eyes that prompt Izuku to nod and sit next to him on the ground.

"I'm listening," he says in a whisper, wondering if the truth will hurt him even more.

"Just promise me you won't run away from me if you don't feel the same."

"What? I..." Izuku stops as soon as he notices Katsuki's expression; he's vulnerable and almost defeated, like he's prepared to fail.

He doesn't like to see him like that.

"A-Alright," he stammers, feeling nervous. "I promise."

The pro hero nods before looking away from Izuku. He takes a deep breath as he runs his fingers through his own hair.

"I panicked because I didn't want them to know I'm in love with you; I've been for a while, years actually... But I've also accepted that you'll never love me back, not like that at least and I promised myself I'd never tell you."

Izuku's cheeks are bright red, but he still hasn't processed all the information completely; he can't even speak.

"When they showed me the photos and I saw how obvious it was, that I've been staring at you like that every time you're not looking... I realized that more than one person knew about me, about what you make me feel... I just didn't know what to do. I imagined you watching the interview and deciding to put distance between us and I couldn't handle the idea of not being with you so I said something hurtful to hide the truth. I'm sorry, Izuku. I didn't mean to hurt you. You're my friend, you're more than that and nothing will change that, at least not to me... So please, don't pull away from me..."

His voice breaks on the last words, he's trying very hard not to cry, but it's almost like those feelings are stronger than him.

"I have... romantic feelings for you too," Izuku blurts out, getting a little bit startled when Katsuki turns his head quickly to look back at him. "I thought you'd never feel the same, but I was okay with being your friend... However, when I heard you saying that we weren't even friends... It broke my heart."

After putting his arms around Izuku's waist, Katsuki pulls him closer to his chest.

"I've been an idiot..."

"We're both idiots, Kacchan," Izuku chuckles, earning a smile from the other pro hero.

Katsuki closes his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear.

"I missed that ridiculous nickname," he confesses before his eyes blink back open again. "Izuku... Would you go out with me?"

Trying not to sob, the green haired man nods, not trusting his own voice at the moment.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," he barely has the chance to respond when he feels Katsuki's lips over his. Izuku is shaking, but he kisses him with the same desperate feeling until they're both gasping for air.

When Katsuki leans closer for more, Izuku stops him, trying not to laugh when the blond pouts.

"Let's get inside the apartment first..."

"That's an amazing idea."

"We can't, not now!" Izuku says, flustered, when he notices Katsuki smirk. "We're both running late! Aizawa–"

"He can wait."

"No, he can't!" He says, although he still gives Katsuki another kiss before heading to the bathroom.

"You're sure you don't need any help, nerd? I can wash your... back, you won't regret it."

"Kacchan!" Izuku scolds him from the other side of the door. "Well... Maybe tonight..."

"Great, after I take you out to dinner!"

Izuku smiles, suddenly thinking that he's kinda grateful for that interview after all.

***

Patreon

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #izuku midoriya #bakugou katsuki #bkdk #bakudeku

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winterstaryu · 3 months

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You know what??? It's fucking time. Let me tell y'all about my fucking ex.

Buckle up chuckle fucks.

So when I was 18 and fucking stupid, I started dating a co-worker, we'll call her Luna bc that was her cat's name. We dated like 6 months, and she was out of town and unreachable for like, 3 of those.

During that time, this guy, we'll call him fucker, bc I'm too tired to think of another name and it's fitting. Started working at our workplace. He was funny, he was also in a relationship, we hit it off.

Long story very short, his girlfriend left him for ANOTHER one of our coworkers, and then left /him/ for his best friend. Really tore up our dnd group.

At around the same time, I broke up with Luna, the reason isn't important, we were very different people.

Then. My mom gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, and needless to say, my entire fucking world upends. I'm a wreak, and Fucker is /nice/ and funny and there for me and isn't mean to me when I have panic attacks which. Should be a lower bar than it fucking is.

So anyway, we start dating. Eventually, we get new management at work, and it sucks, so I leave. Turn in my two weeks and get a new job. My mom's condition is steadily worsening, and with it, my mental health. My time is being split between caring for her, working full time, and managing the emotions of my shitty ass boyfriend who doesn't own salt and has never processed his emotions a day in his life.

Did I mention he's five years older than me???

So we date for a tumultuous year and a half, and it's Hard, but relationships are supposed to be hard, right? We fight all the time but I just need to work harder to communicate, and he just needs to learn to Manage His Anger.

Anyway, shitty management is Still Shitty. And despite my hesitations, he convinces me to get him a job where I work. Pay attention, this'll become a theme.

Anyway, it's like. /fine/ he's weirdly bossy despite working there way less than I have, and me literally being trained for management, but he's just particular, and a new workplace is always an adjustment, right?

Then. The pandemic hits.

First things first, he falls for a fucking internet scam, because his technical know-how falls short of my 85 y/o grandfather's. He loses FOUR. HUNDRED. DOLLARS. And I pay his rent.

Then, I faint at work, end up in the ER, and while they don't find anything serious I'm laid up in bed, too weak to fucking move and in more pain than I've ever felt in my life.

He tells me, to my face, that he can't tell if I'm lying, he does not believe me, and everything I'm doing reminds me of his abusive mother.

I spend the next few months busting my ass, doing online delivers, applying to every job I can find and having no luck.

Then. My mom dies.

I don't remember anything for about a month after that. Just, little snippets here and there. But I do remember after, when I tried to explain to him that losing my mom to cancer during a global pandemic was something I may never get over, that 6 months was not enough time, that I couldn't just. /be okay/ after that. Even after getting my job back, and my dad remarrying, God ESPECIALLY bc my dad remarried so quick, I'm just, still processing (friends it's been 4 years and I am still processing, again, I am not sure I will EVER get over that)

Eventually, we move in together. He finally, after years of pleading, gets a job with insurance, a job that pays well, not so much I can stop working, but there's room for growth, it's a good company, as big companies go these days, and he likes it.

He loses his job within 6 months. I have to pay rent for both of us, plus utilities. This plunges me further into debt, he insists I am just not good at budgeting, I hate talking about budgeting but anytime we DO talk it is always about my spending, my streaming services, my little chocolates, oh. And my medications, which he at least believes I actually /need/ at this point.

I am begging him, everyday to find a new job, /any job/ because my health issues are coming back and I feel like I'm dying slowly.

I end up getting him a job where I work. Again.

This is when the drinking starts. At first, it is subtle. He gets very annoyed when he drinks, nitpicky. He insists he is just technical.

I decide to stop drinking with him, bc it doesn't interact well with my medication and secretly, because I'm hoping if I stop, he'll drink less. He doesn't.

The first night it's because of a sandwich. He tells me he is Too Tipsy (read: shitfaced) to come downstairs, and he asks me to make him a sandwich. I say no, I tell him it's because I just got home from work, and I am tired and I don't want to. He says nothing. But 20 minutes later he drags himself downstairs, sees me playing stardew valley and starts yelling (sorry, raising his voice, bc when he does its raising his voice but when I do it I'm screaming), about how I'm doing fucking nothing, and if I'm doing fucking nothing, why couldn't I have just Made Him a Sandwich. It's ridiculous, it sounds fucking made up. It makes me start keeping track of our arguments.

The next time, it's because he offered to help our my brother (our roommate) with the dishes. "Just tell me when you need help" he said, "anytime"

Of course, 'anytime' conflicted with his nightly 12 pack. Yes. 12.

So one night, he gets drunk. I get home from work at 9PM and he is already 4 drinks in. I have worked 2 miles home in the cold, after working for 6 hours, I'm exhausted, all I want is to curl into bed and watch Supernatural until I fall asleep.

At around oh, 2 in the morning, I've finally wound down enough to sleep, and he asks me to come downstairs and help him load the dishwasher bc he is Too Drunk. I say no, he agreed to help with this chore, he's responsible for getting it done (and making sure he's fucking sober enough to do it) he. Starts. Screaming. Cussing me up and down, he calls me a bitch, and a mother fucker, when I tell him he is scaring me, he moves into a more intimidating position and tell me He Knows and he Doesn't Care. I pick up my bedding and go to sleep on the couch. He immediately feels guilty and back tracks.

The next day I tell him the drinking needs to get under control, he can't treat me like that. Spoiler alert: the drinking does not get under control and this keeps. Happening. Eventually, there is a stack of empty beer boxes me and our other roommates refer to as 'beer mountain' I am avoiding him as much as possible, and one day I realize that coming home is the worst part of my day.

But it takes another 6 months. Until one night, he is drinking heavily, his attitude is reminding me of That Night and I am begging and pleading with him to just /eat something/ to sober up even a little because he is starting to scare me. It takes an hour to convince him to eat something other than hot cheetos, and when he finally does, he calls me a paranoid jerk.

And I snap. I start recording our conversation and I ask him to repeat himself. I tell myself I'll replay this recording in the morning, so I can remind myself that is WAS that bad, that what he was saying wasn't okay. That this time I wasn't being paranoid and it is NOT my anxiety making me feel this way. It's/him/.

I tell him it's over and he begs, he pleads for me to change my mind and when I make it clear I won't, he shuts down. For someone who always got angry with me for 'being robotic' when I was trying to regulate during an argument, he certainly gets cold quick.

He spends the next for months making himself the martyr. He asks to sleep in the walk-in closet instead of on the couch, and then complains about back pain.

He leaves cups full of soda and bowls of Ramen on my furniture for days, but goes on about how 'he does all the cleaning' anytime I bring it up. When I finally snap and start dismantling 'beer mountain' which is my height, at this point, and snap (tbf, not kindly bc I was fucking done at this point) at him to help, he starts cussing me out again. Saying that this Mess is both of ours, saying that 'he gets it' because No One ever taught me to clean as a kid (I was fucking. Neglected.) He goes on about how my siblings are Just Like me, implies that it is my fault. You know, for not raising them better at fucking 8.

All I can think about is when we cleared out his old room when we moved in together, the carpet was MOLDY, and there were several bottles of piss lying around. I am a messy person, but my space is almost always Clean, if dusty and cluttered.

He tells our roommates and I weeks later that he doesn't understand why we broke up, that I 'just gave up on us, I guess', and. Yeah. I guess I did.

We still worked together. Until today. We will still live together until February 5th.

But so soon, so very fucking soon, I will be /free/

#a clover? a talking clover!?#long post #personal #cancer mention #dead parent mention #my stupid fucking ex

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silberpilz · 4 months

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Big fuckin Rant down here i needed a place to vent please feel free to just skip this i need to yell into the void

Ah yes btw mentions of very much not good mental health i had

Idk i can't believe the two weeks i waited at least a month for just are over. Just like that. And life just goes on and i have to work again and i hate work. I feel bored and empty. I want to create but cant manage to do more than doodles or a few words, if i even do it. Also i just know my pains will never really go away.

Ghaaahhh i'm sorry for being such a sorrowball again but idk what else to do about it. It could be way worse of course and i'm thankful it's not (yet) but man. I just want to be happy. All i could think about in my last week of vacation (in which i got sick anyway) was that i just fucking LOATHE having to work full time. I hate it so much. Why do i have to spend most of my concious day and most of my energy just to get not even a actual employees amount of money (i'm still a trainee) and i still have to do it for almost 2 further years. 2. YEARS! Why does it take so long!!! If i didnt have Abitur it would be even longer!!!!!

Ok since this is escalating anyway:

I know i tried my best in trying and failing so many times trying to get into a profession within my actual interests but damn. Did it leave a mark on me. I am exhausted. I feel like i wasted so so much time. Got to repeat 10th class 2 times, uni was trash, design college didnt want me, gardening was good but my bosses started to treat me like trash for some reason and having to scoot there during winter made me freeze before and after work in a way that would make icicles blush and i just wanted to fucking end it and it was very hard to not give up to these thoughts. Then i tried to get into my towns bookstores and one of them didnt even let me do a test internship and the second one all of a sudden had someone else who was sooooo much more better and knowledgable about literature than me i FUCKING GUESS. Then i had a minijob, trying to get into some creative and cultural field of study again but hey. Times running out. Would i even have a future with that stuff. Working on a pprtfolio would take time. I need work right now RIGHT NOW OR ELSE MY FUTURE WILL BE IN SHAMBLES FOREVER (thanks mom and dad) And now i'm here. It could be worse. My bosses are nice, the stuff i deal with is kinda interesting. But well. Its retail. And all my direct coworkers are some 40+ yo women who are way too snarky and nosy at times. All the more friendly coworkers or the ones my age are either in the forge or in another floor and they work different jobs. Like i said it could be way way worse and i'm thankful its not. But i'm just not happy. I constantly long for more. And i'm so tired all the time. As i'm starting to age into adulthood, all of this gets into my body and recently also into my nervous system.

I just want to hang out with my friends again. I just want to have fun and not worry. I want to have energy and independency. But to achieve that, i have to push through all of this. I can't give up again, sadly.

Maybe one day i can express myself more freely again, worry less, have more free time and still be able to pay rent. And my back will hurt less. And i can help others more effectively.

#rant #vent post #feel free to skip #might delete later

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theendlessrambles · 10 months

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6/27/23

Life for me is still content. My biggest complaint is an auto shop overfilled my tires and popped on the highway in a construction zone. I got a new tire for 67 dollars but needed a new rim. Then ended up needed to get all new tires, they were older tires and then over filled with tire pressure costing me over 800 dollars after spending 400 dollars on the car already. That's about a paycheck and a half for me.Thankfully my partner was there with me to calme.me down as we waited three hours in the middle of nowhere for a tow and then be told he'd be back later since he did not have room for both of us to be taken to the shop and we had to call my partners mother who thankfully just got out of work. My phone is also badly damaged and I'm in desperate need of a new one and due to the car am having to hold of awhile longer rather than sooner.

Besides that I still have my adoring partner, a wonderful roommate, a cat, and a dog. Sunday we got more free groceries from my roommates family and were very thankful for that and my boyfriends mother always gives me eggs her chickens produce. With out the help i don't know how well we could stick our pantry and fridge I'm very grateful for them. I have a vacation coming up in July with my partner at cedar point in a cabin we rented alone. Then after my vacation I will attend another parade with my friend in a pirate charity group. Their father, who was the captain, recently passed away and they are continuing his work as the new captain. This parade will be in my home town and I am excited to see my family and friends there. My relationships with those around me are well, even my mother and I have bonded more especially with a kitten she's adopted that doesn't have a tail.

Though my relationship are they also have their struggles. My roommate still is looking for a new job and worried about driving. Their lack of transportation has been stressful on both of us. I told her when I finally save up for a new car, after getting a new phone, I would sell her the one I currently have if its still in good (and by good still safe and running) condition. Her place of work, where I used to work and my pirate friend works, is now open to 12 am and she gets home at 1am or later. I often have to pick her up which is also hard for both of us. My next closest friend is helping out her mother. Her mother's boyfriend/father of her child overdosed and they kicked him out of the house. It's a stressful situation. She is trying to get into trade school, but she is vocal about how nerve-wracking it is for her. My pirate friend is trying out the dating scene and has been quite lonely with her mother gone often with her new job running tour/party buses. The other night we went to the bar at Applebee's after spending a day on the beach. We were bought drinks and it was fun, however their was a drunk and sexist man who wouldn't leave us alone and hugged on us a couple times. She seemed okay and I handled him well, but that part was still unfortunate. My partner also struggles. He hit a deer on his way to see me two months ago and his car is still in the shop. He borrowed his oldest brother's car since he was jobless, but his older brother took his car back to Door Dash due to family pressures and needing to pay his medical bills. His car should be back this week and he is relieved about that.

I did change jobs as of last week. I moved up into a CMH building in a poorer county. I get paid less but there's health insurance, pto, paid holiday, and a union, which makes up the difference. I would of had my RBT, but due to how awful online testing is with their anti heating system I was disqualified when my face became out of view when asked to show what was in the background. So I'll have to take it again.

There are some concerns with my coworkers. They are wonderful techs and has nothing to do with their work with the children, but their standpoints. Even though it is a mental health there has been racist and transphobic comments from half of the techs. One of the techs also admitted to violently robbing hookers as a teenager. This shocked me especially since she is newly a mother. The comments however I am not surprised about since it's a poorer rural area and I have seen dozens of trump stickers on staff members cars. Even things on the road made me realize how rural the area is such as a diy wooden nativity scene with signs saying "FEAR NOT GOD" and "REPENT WHILE THERE IS TIME". I also am not a big fan of the puzzle pieces in the shirts and cubicles on staff when it comes to autism awareness, but most autism centers have puzzle pieces so I am not upset, but rather uncomfortable with it. The company autism speaks, which uses the puzzle piece, has many faults and often covers up the voices of autistic individuals rather than lift them up. I prefer the rainbow infinity symbol made by the autistic community. I find it hard to by myself there.

My supervisor assigned me a mentor. I would be job shadowing but due to subbing in the building for half a year I do not need to job shadow. My mentor in this case is someone to go to for questions, which I tend to ask the first person I see truthfully. My supervisor picked the newly mom who used to violently rob hookers. She said she needs to soften up and I need to toughen up. So far it's gone well, but we don't speak often. I do think she is a wonderful tech and that there is much I could learn from her.

National news is all over. Trumps next trial is in December and he is running. His old vice president he almost let get killed is also running so that should be interesting. I like this one women who is running named Marianne Williamson. She seems to be quite honest about what is going on in the country especially after the pandemic. I am still nervous about all candidates even her. I don't trust our system and I don't believe capitalism and democracy work together. Greed tends to overpower freedom. Whatever freedom means now a days.

There were also some multimillionaires who died in a submarine on their way to the titanic. We all joked about them online and I am guilty of this. The submarine was poorly built and for the trip cost them about an iced Starbucks coffee to us. Lots of tax payer money was spent finding the already dead millionaire as they let immigrant boats sink killing thousands. So there were more laugh than tears for the rich. I do feel bad for the child, 19, on board.

Russia has a coup that was stopped in a day, however it shows the Russian citizens and even military grows tired of the war in Ukraine. It may even spark or already has sparked a civil war.

Pride has not been fun this year I did not do much for it as I wanted to. In fact a national emergency has been called for LGBTQIA members. It makes me nervous, I know I have a male partner at this time which keeps me more safe but I am still afraid. Two women who kissed each other were arrested since a child has seen it. They are now considered sex offenders and in one state that crime is punishable by death. They are finding ways to kill us. Trans have it the worst and our country is committing genocide against them it's no secret. Again even at work the hatred of trans are spoken of. I have friends who are trans and I worry for them. It really is a national emergency.

I think that sums up the last few months. It's almost 4am here now. I fell asleep around 8pm and woke up when my roommate came home. I had an apple took my medicine and began to write all this down. I will likely write again in a few months.

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thestoryofawallflower · 1 year

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Dear friend,

Today, something was on my mind and bothering me so much. And I was so frustrated that I couldn't just express my sentiments through my typical outlets because of who the person inflicting the frustration is. Scratch that I used "was" which was inaccurate of me because I am still frustrated. I hate fake people, and even more, I hate fake friends. The people that should know you, your character, your intent, your mannerisms, your personality- the people that you trust to know and learn and understand and always be knowing and learning and understanding can hold so much power to do harm and do the most damage. Sometimes I think it's easier to just not be close to people. Sounds so cynical right? Maybe so, and if it is, I accept it.

I'm just so tired all the time. Tired of always having to explain myself, tired of always having to defend myself, tired of always having to mitigate consequences of the ADHD tax, tired of always starting with messages with "sorry-" or "I'm sorry-", tired of always feeling less than because I have all the "capability" and objectively appear like I'm consciously inciting collateral damage in my wake, tired of always feeling bad for forgetting something, tired of always seeing people I care about be hurt for things and actions beyond my control, tired of always having to over compensate in all facets and aspects of my life just to seem relatively close to neurotypical, tired of always acting like I have it all together when I really don't not only because communication is a weakness of mine (thanks again, ADHD) but also because if I were really, truly, genuinely honest about the struggles I have, I'd be "complaining about nothing."

No one's going to feel sorry for me for forgetting to pay my bills. No one's going to feel sorry for me putting myself in financial ruin because of impulsive spending habits that are the consequence of my hyperfocus and lack of forethought. No one's going to feel bad for me that I have an amazing job that I love, with incredible coworkers and management and benefits and cushy salary to just "play video games all day" but just can't get out of bed or get into the office on time. No one's going to feel sorry for me for getting sick because I forgot to eat or drink water or sleep properly. No one's going to feel bad for me for having a one bedroom apartment in a nice part of town and not-so-bad rent but having my apartment in shambles. No one's going to feel bad for me that my hygiene and house maintenance slip constantly when I say I need to do so much but spent my day in bed. No one's going to feel sorry for me when I say I'm extremely overwhelmed and burnt out but still manage to "nonchalantly" post on social media and not respond to them because messages and conversations can feel like a chore because it requires too much sustained mental effort. The most sympathy I can possible receive for what I go through are from people that go through the same thing, because to anyone else- anyone neurotypical- it just looks like I'm lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, disorganized, not disciplined, etc. like I just don't care about anything or anyone because I don't want to when all the while there's nothing I want more than to be normal and know for the rest of my life no matter what I do or what medicines I take or what routines I can actually establish for myself, I will never be normal. I will never think normally. I will never have regulated emotions. I will never live up to the minimum expectations of those around me and that is such an awful feeling that is worsened by the fact that I have to knowingly live with that every day and can't do a damn thing about it. In a society where actions speak louder than words but you have a disorder that cripples the executive functioning part of your brain, you will always be killing yourself trying to prove your intentions and all the while be drowning in a sea of everyone's disappointment. I can care so much it hurts, but if that's not how it looks, then it's hard to believe. I'm just exhausted with everyone and everything, and I just want to feel like me and my ADHD ball and chain brain aren't a burden on or inconvenience to the people I love and the people I want to love.

Despite all of my griping thus far, I'm extremely grateful for the life I live and for all that I have and for everyone that's gotten me to where I am. Especially you, friend, for always having an ear and being a figurative shoulder to lean on.

Love always, Nina

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th-em-vibes · 2 years

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Honestly just need to get this out and nowhere else to do so. Yall can ignore just need to ramble and vent.

As someone who is chronically ill and as such exhausted 24 fuckin 7.... I am sick and tired of being told to just get over it, push through, toughen up. Everybody else works 40 hours a week and it's fine, no problem right? OK well my body and brain literally cannot function. Yall want me to spend my time outside work doing things I enjoy well that's pretty hard to do when all I can do after work is shut down and lose 4 hours just staring at the wall bc I can't function. Then after that 4 hours is up its finally bed time so I can wake up tomorrow for work and do it all over again. It's so easy for everyone else to say I should be grateful to have a job but like. I'll die if I don't work, but I'm just killing myself slowly by working. So what's the point. My boyfriend is tired of hearing it, my coworkers can't relate. I can't afford to take time off to get diagnostic tests, can't afford the testing in the first place, even if I got diagnosed there's not much that I could do anyways. Can't afford therapy to try and talk about ways to cope, even if I could most therapists don't understand chronic illness even though they're fucking supposed to. I don't have any friends bc I don't have the energy to keep up with more than 1 or 2 people.

All I keep hearing is "you're strong enough to get through this" ok but I'm fucking not. I'm fucking tired and I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up. Nobody understands and nobody wants to hear it and I am just well and truly alone.

It's really hard to find purpose in life when all of your energy is wasted just trying to keep up.

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inkstainedwanderer · 2 years

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Me yesterday: I am finally getting life back on track. I got the paycheck owed to me two weeks ago and I'm about to be caught up with rent! Back to 38 hours a week, so maybe I can finally get food in my fridge and still have money to do something fun! This is great. I like this. Oh? My friend is spending $500 a month on gas and cant find an apartment in my area? It feels good to have a spare room to offer temporarily until he can find one! And if he says yes I can save even more money. Oh yeah. Good things are happening!

Grandma last night: It's happening. Your uncle is dying. They have him on so much morphine that he's just checked out. I'm coming up there tomorrow. Can you come out and visit?

Me: /at work, already tearing up/ Oh.... um... I mean.... I can try, but I just started my work week today.

Grandma: Also, we were hoping you could take Cujo tomorrow. He isnt getting any attention. Your uncle doesnt even know he's there.

Me: Well... I mean... I just started my work week, so i wouldnt be able to be home to see if he adjusts or make sure he and my cat are okay. I work eight to ten hour days most of the time so I couldnt even be there to let him out... I could try this weekend? I'm at work now, but I can see about things tomorrow.

Grandma: /clearly frustrated/ Well, you know Bandit cant live without Cujo. We were hoping you would take them both.

Me: /lives in an apartment and already said I couldnt take two dogs before/ I-... If I could, i would, but I cant.

Grandma: well, Bandit is going to get put down then.

Me: /quietly crying and distressed, avoiding eye contact with coworkers/ If i could... I just cant. I havent even really got to talk to my building manager about Cujo.

Grandma: I'm just letting you know. But I'll be up there, your other uncle is going to pick me up tomorrow. Oh! And he's not going to last long either. He's dying too.

Me: Oh....

Grandma: I'm sorry if this is upsetting, especially with you being at work. How about I call you back tomorrow?

Manager: /asks what happened because I'm failing to not be a crying mess/ Do you need to leave? If you gotta go, go. We'll be okay.

Me: I cant do anything. I dont want to abandon you guys. /spends the rest of the night crying in a cycle of mourning my uncles, stressing over the dogs, and feeling guilty about how I wish I didnt have my family anymore because I'm so tired of being put in these situations by them.

Yep... just as I was getting back up... gotta get kicked back down again. It just feels like the way of things now. And people say I just need to be positive and not focus on the negatives, but I was being positive when things were going good. Reality is that things are not good. No amount of focusing on the positive changes how shit this whole thing is. They've literally told me i'm losing two family members and then dropped the weight of two other living creatures deaths in my lap at the same time. There is no positive. One third of my family sells drugs and weapons, one third of my family betrayed me when my dad was dying, and one third seems to lack any empathy for the fact I am not the person who needs to be saddled with all of the emotional burdens 24/7 for the past 16 years. She's already carrying a ton of bags, let's just give her some more! Yep. Yep. I am fine. This is fine. I'll just look at the positives. It isnt raining today so i can ride my new bike to work and stay dry. That makes me feel so much better.

#Inkrants

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fightxxmexxshiggy · 3 years

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HOT DAY AND A TIRED MAN

This fic is dedicated to @lovelyladyraven for being my first ever paid commission.

Shouta Aizawa x fem reader

Tw:dangerous situation, breeding, OVERSTIMULATION

Word count: 3.5k

This was not how you had planned to spend your day. Your boss had decided that the roof needed to be cleaned on the second hottest day this summer! Of course you were the only one who had just finished up their task so he sent you to do it by yourself with a promise of sending the next available person up to switch with you soon. Instead you had spent two hours cleaning up dirt and shining the vents on a roof that no one but maintenance workers ever set foot on! Once you had seen how much time had passed you went to the door with every intention of stomping down the stairs and clocking out, not willing to do overtime just to clean a roof. But the knob wouldn't turn no matter how hard you pulled. You banged on the door a few times only to realize that one of the idiots that you work with had locked the door. Quickly you took out your phone and called the store phone no answer, then your boss's phone no answer, then you called the two other coworkers who had been working with you today. Not a single person answered you! You went over to the side of the building that looked over the parking lot seeing that all their cars were already gone from their usual spots. The bastards had left for the day and left you locked on the roof with no way to go home or even get water. You tried for another 30 minutes to reach your boss and coworkers only for them to start rejecting your calls. They did this on purpose. You went and sat in the shade of the roof door access and took a few calming breaths. You knew that they weren't going to come back until tomorrow and you also knew that they probably expected you to sit up here and cry waiting till morning for them to come and "save" you. So instead you looked up the number for the local fire department. Once someone picked up you heard a deep gravelly voice through the speaker.

"Fire station 6 what can I help you with?"

The man seemed tired and kind of put out but instead of apologizing for bothering him like your brain was screaming at you to do, you cleared your throat and spoke. You gave him a detailed rundown of your situation and explained that you would have called the emergency line first except your boss's wife worked the police directory and if he was locking you on the roof like this you were afraid that his wife would just not send anyone to help you. It was a small town and things like that were constantly looked over as long as you knew the right people. He hummed in agreement.

" That's sad but true. I know your boss and his wife well enough that you're probably 100 percent right about what they would do and how they would cover this up. They've done it before. Me and a few guys will be there in about 20 minutes to come get you down. Just keep calm and do your best to stay out of the sun until then we don't need you getting any more dehydrated than you already are."

He gave a quick goodbye and hung up. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing that you had chosen correctly when you called the fire station. You sat in the shade and tried to put a face to the voice of the tired firefighter who would be coming to free you from your rooftop prison. Like a fool you had never asked his name. As you thought about it you started to get a bit lightheaded. It had definitely been too long since you had any water. The heat was starting to get to you now that your adrenaline had stopped pumping so hard. With nothing else to do you layed down as much in the shade as you could and did a breathing exercise. During your exercise you must have blacked out because the next thing you knew you were being carried down the stairs in a set of strong arms.

The person carrying you was speaking to you but you couldn't make out what they were saying over the fog that was covering your brain. You knew the sound of that voice though. It was the tired firefighter but he sounded a whole lot less tired and a whole lot more angry. You really hoped he wasn't angry at you. Maybe you were too heavy and he was annoyed at having to lug you down the stairs. With a weak hand you reached up maybe to apologize somehow, but ended up cupping his cheek. His stubble felt funny in your already funny feeling hand. He stopped walking at the feeling of your hand on his face. You still couldn't open your eyes so instead you mumbled a garbled sorry and proceeded to pass back out going limp. The last thing you heard was the tired firefighter yelling at someone, maybe you?

You woke up again this time to the feeling of something plastic on your face. Opening your eyes was still a bit too much for you so you listened and tried to figure out what was going on. You vaguely remember the tired voice you had spoken to before you felt light headed and the feeling of being carried. As you listened you could make out the sounds of machines. Slowly you took stock of your body. You were sore and kinda warm but you could move a little bit. You breathed deeply, finally realizing that the plastic was an oxygen tube. You were definitely in the hospital then. After a few more minutes your eyes were in good enough condition that you opened them to look around the room. When you did you saw someone slumped in the chair in the corner. This was incredibly strange since you had no family in this town. Doing your best you cleared your throat preparing to ask who they were. At your sound the person's head shot up, eyes wide.

It was a man with tired eyes and long black hair that was on the scruffy side; it easily matched the stubble of a beard on his chin and cheeks. He stood up definitely tall enough to tower over you even when you were standing up yourself. The man walked to your bedside and took a deep breath before speaking.

"It's good to see you awake little one. I was beginning to think you weren't going to wake up. I'm the firefighter you spoke to asking for help when you were on the roof. I have a lot to explain to you but I'm gonna call the doctor in and have them look you over before anything else."

He called out into the hall after that and a doctor and a nurse bustled into the room within minutes. Your throat was too dry to answer their questions so you stuck to little nods and head shakes as they began to check your vitals and adjust your iv drip. Once they were sure you were stable enough you were once again left with your savior and no voice to thank him with. He came closer and pulled the chair along with him to settle in for your conversation.

"So you've been out of it for about 3 days. You got sunstroke while you were on the roof and your boss had double locked the door to get in and the door to the roof which slowed us down in getting to you. Your boss and his wife and your 2 coworkers have all been arrested. It was your boss's idea though apparently he kept hitting on you but you didn't give him the time of day so he wanted to teach you a lesson. His wife had your name flagged so that if you had called for help it would have given a dispatcher a notification to ignore you as a false reporter. His wife found out about his interest in you and was planning on making sure you were stuck on that roof all night. Your coworkers just went along with it because they didn't want to deal with your boss's anger."

Hearing all this pissed you off beyond belief. They could have killed you all because you would be a man's mistress and the man's wife would rather hurt someone than confront her husband. He looked at your face and patted your knee knowing there was nothing he could say that would make you feel any better about this. You looked up at him and grabbed his hand and brought it to your forehead, touching his knuckles there before placing a kiss on them. You were kind of happy that you couldn't really talk just yet because the blush on this man's cheeks was well worth the dry throat. He poured you a cup of water and handed it to you. You gave him a small smile and drank it gratefully.

Eventually you could speak some and the two of you formally introduced yourselves. He was Shouta Aizawa, the fire station chief and local fire safety instructor for this area. He hadn't felt right leaving you alone after he had gotten you off the roof and found that you lived alone in this town. He came off very blunt and serious but you could see his deep kindness in his actions. The doctors came back in, cutting your conversation short and making Shouta go back to his spot in the corner. After a few more checks the doctors cleared you to go home the following day as long as you had someone to watch over you for the next three days till your follow up appointment was. You frowned cause you did have any close friends who could do that for you. As you pondered over it you heard Shouta's voice over the doctor's.

"If you don't have a problem I can have you stay over in the guestroom at my house. I was already on a temp leave due to watching over you here so it wouldn't be much different with you at my house."

This man with a deep whiskey voice truly had a heart of gold. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth you readily agreed. After you had been up a few more hours and had a little bit to eat, Shouta left with the promise of a freshly cleaned room waiting for you tomorrow. You fell asleep that night feeling more cared for than you ever truly had. You woke up again slightly disoriented and thirsty but in much better condition than you had been the day prior. It was early so you took your time shaking the numbness out of your limbs and getting back your bearings. The nurse came in fussing about you standing with calling anyone to be a catcher for you. She stopped fussing though when she realized that you were indeed stable enough to walk to the bathroom alone.

Shouta had called the nurses station around 10 to let them know he'd be there by 12. With a few puppy dog looks you had a shower chair and an orderly who helped wash your hair and walk you back to bed. They had given you some hospital pajamas that you happily wore instead of the ugly gowns you had woken up in. You were clean and relaxed by the time Shouta had arrived to sign you out of the hospital. A nurse came around with a wheelchair and wheeled you down to the exit while the car was brought around. Shouta opened the door for the backseat but instead of giving you a hand to climb in he leaned down and scooped you out of the chair. Once you had been sat comfortably on the seat he shut the door leaving you with a moment to appreciate just how strong his arms were.

The drive to Shouta's home was relatively quick as is the way of small towns. His house was nice and seemed to be a cozy ranch style. After pulling into the garage you tried to get out yourself only to be caught up against a hard chest as your legs gave out the moment they were made to take your full weight. You looked up to see an exasperated glare. Part of your brain filled with chastised thoughts as the other filled with dirty thoughts. You really had to be better behaved when It came to your savior and benefactor but with him being so sinfully attractive it was kinda hard to do. Once again you were carried by the tired man this time into his home and deposited on the lone couch in his living room. He sat on his coffee table and faced you with a sigh.

"You're really gonna have to rely on me for a few days brat. Your body is trying to heal and you pushing it as you just did isn't doing the process any favors."

You sighed and agreed with him. After a short conversation about a few things you might need from the store and checking about any food allergies he got ready and headed to the store. You sat alone watching tv before clicking into his YouTube app to see what he watched most. A loud laugh burst from your chest as you realized that most of his watch history was full of cat videos and a few interviews with a local late night radio host. You watched the radio hosts videos thoroughly entertained by his boisterous personality. The next thing you knew you were being shaken awake by Shouta having fallen asleep with videos still playing on the tv. He helped you up and walked you to the bathroom and waited outside before scooping you up yet again. He was making it so damn hard not to think dirty thoughts when he kept carrying you around as if you were a small animal or something. Like sir the butterflies are in the stomach now but they will quickly fly south if you keep being so quietly sexy. A few hours later you were lying in bed when your thoughts finally got the best of you and had you touching your pussy as images of Shouta glaring down at you with his arms crossed showed behind your eyelids.

You had no idea how loud you were being as you rubbed your clit harshly, trying to get to the finish line. As you came you choked out his name. While you panted and came down from your high Shouta made his way back to his room quietly. He leaned back against his door and made a call before laying in his bed to jerk his very hard, very neglected cock. His brain kept replaying the sounds you made, the way you choked out his name as you came, how a satisfied little smile curled on your lips after you reached the finish line. He came with a growl, satisfied but not. He was definitely going to end up in trouble by the end of the week and he couldn't find it in himself to care. The following two days followed the same pattern, spending the day together and spending the night getting off to thoughts of the other in separate rooms. Though you were surprised to find that Shouta regularly walked around the house in nothing but sweatpants holding a full mug of coffee. On the fourth day you had become well enough to no longer need to be carried or walked everywhere. You were a little confused by Shouta's attitude as he had been glaring at the space above your head for most of the day. Finally tired of him doing this, you confronted him about it. You were not expecting his answer in the slightest.

"I've spent the last three nights hearing you play with your pussy while calling my name, I'm hard enough to hammer nails and I can't get out any over this energy cause I'm supposed to be watching out for you. All I wanna do is fuck you till you lose your mind. me glaring above your head has been me doing my best not to seduce you like an asshole."

He said everything in such a deadpan manner that you couldn't help but laugh. Once you caught your breath you grinned at him and pulled your shirt off over your head. Sitting on his couch with your tits hanging free and your nipples hardening in the cool air you proceeded to play with them. You were immediately picked up and taken to his room before being dropped on the bed. Never let it be said that the tired man couldn't move fast as you were stripped of your remaining clothes before he stripped himself bare. He pulled you to the edge of his bed by your ankles and dropped to his knees, a fierce smile on his lips.

"Been wanting to taste this bratty pussy for days. Bet it's as sweet as it looks."

His first lick was long. From your hole all the way over your clit. The squeak you let out at the feeling only made him more hungry. He spent what felt like an endless amount of time licking and thrusting his tongue as deep into your pussy as he could. By the time he finally gave your clit some much needed attention his chin was covered in pussy juice and your hole was fluttering as if it was seeking to be filled. Shouta teased you with a few small licks over your clit, making you whine and beg him to give you more. His arms wrapped around your thighs as he locked eyes with you and sucked your clit into his mouth. He sucked hard making you scream and thrash wildly. Your hands were buried in his hair as you squirted into his mouth. Your hips only stayed on the bed because of his strong arms keeping you in place. When he finally released your clit pussy juice was steadily leaking from your still twitching hole.

"Oh did I break you already? You were so bold before and now you're just a mess. Think you can take my cock or do you want me to tuck you in for a nap."

The shit eating grin on his face was enough for you to pull his hair and glare at him. He sat up and shoved your wrists above your head to hold in one of his large hands. Slowly he worked his fat dripping cock into your almost too tight pussy. You whined and moaned his name as he finally bottomed out hitting your back wall. He stretched you more than you ever had been before but it was so damn good. Shouta started slow, one hand gripping your thigh as he ignored your demands for him to speed up.

"You're gonna take what I give you like a good girl or I'll just pull out and cum all over you right now."

That shut you up except for the constant stream of moans that left your throat. Just as you were finally getting used to being split by such a thick cock he changed his rhythm. Fast pounding thrusts that knocked the breath from your lungs were nearly constant. You didn't have enough breath to scream so you sobbed. Your half words were incoherent except for "sho please." Shouta leaned down and whispered in your ear as his thrusts once again spread up. He bit your ear lobe before making you lose your mind.

"Such a tight little hole. I can't believe I had the strength to ignore it for three days. I could have at least eaten it while you laid back and rested. God I'm gonna have you for breakfast tomorrow."

The utter heat in his words threw you over the edge making you cum so hard you began to shake. He growled as your pussy clenched down on him. Shouta sunk his teeth into the pillow by your head before shoving his cock against your cervix and shooting his cum against it. As soon as he finished cuming he started to thrust again. No slow start this time, just hard pounding thrusts that made you wail in pleasure. It didn't take long for you to cum again but Shouta lasted longer this time entirely fucking his cum out of you before finally cuming inside again just as deep as the first time.

He pulled out and laid down next to you before pulling you on to his chest. You both panted trying to breathe like normal human beings again. Right as your breathing evened out you heard a voice from the doorway. And looked up to see the blonde radio host trailing his eyes over the two of you.

"I told you you wouldn't make it till I got home sho."

#bnha simping hours #bnha smut #mha smut #aizawa shouta #aizawa fanfiction #aizawa x reader #aizawa smut #firefighter aizawa

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buddieisgoingtohappen · 2 years

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Ana Related Fics

Outside Looking In

“Don’t worry, I’m always safe with Bucky, Ms. Flores.” She wants to laugh, because if only the kid knew just how much that innocent sentence says about her place in this situation. A stranger, an outsider to whatever it is that this thing with Edmundo and Buck is. -or- When Ana brings Christopher to the ER for a minor injury, she is very confused when Buck arrives at the hospital before Eddie does.

About that...

Eddie picked up his phone, smiling as he saw that it was a text from Ana. He thumbed open the message and then stared stupidly at the words. My test from yesterday came back positive. Before he could even comprehend the words fully, his phone pinged again with a second message from her. I am so sorry, Edmundo. Or, the aftermath of Eddie allowing Ana into their bubble during a global pandemic.

Ringing Out

Ana gets tired of Eddie constantly checking his phone during dates and leaving early, so she turns his phone off when he leaves the room. What happens when there's an emergency and Buck can't get ahold of Eddie?

You’re the only one I need

“What is going on?!” Ana snapped at Edmundo’s friends, “Why was Evan allowed to see Edmundo, not me when I’m his girlfriend” she threw her hands in the air. “Why is he the one that will take Christopher to see his father?”

The Babysitter's Club

5 time Christopher called the 118 to babysit him instead of Ana and 1 time he didn't have to.

Aching For His Touch

Eddie suddenly stops touching Buck, and Buck doesn't know what to do with his crushing feelings of loneliness.

Accidentally Friends

Buck and Ana accidentally become friends after Ana and Eddie break up. Ana helps Buck figure out his relationships.

the other mr diaz

“Excuse me? If you don’t mind me asking, where’s Mr Diaz? I specifically requested to speak with Eddie. You are not him.” The man tilts his head at that, a quizzical expression forming between his brows, and Ana can’t help but be reminded of a confused puppy. “No, I’m not Eddie.”

Sick Day

All Buck wanted to do was spend the day taking care of his boyfriend. He didn't want his boyfriend's coworker (who is also his ex) showing up.

More than a defintion

Buck had come to terms with his ADHD. He just couldn't deal with people thinking that his ADHD defined him. As it turns out, neither could Eddie.

There's No Good in Goodbyes

"'I just need you to take a step back, just for a little bit. It’s not permanent; it’s just until Ana and I can get our feet under us, you know?” Eddie’s eyes were worried but his smile was hopeful. Buck felt sick. Eddie wanted him to step back, to leave. He was around too much; in their space too much; in their lives too much; always too much. God, Buck really must have exhausted them until Eddie had had enough; he couldn’t tolerate Buck anymore. Buck had to hand it to him; he’d lasted longer than anyone, besides Maddie. Maybe he should tell him that. The last man standing, finally bowing in defeat."

I Choose You

"I'm doing what's best." Buck says. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "You don't need a burden like me to take care of."

More Than a Melody's Needed

Three years after her relationship ended, Ana Flores makes a friend.

for what it's worth

Buck and Ana get trapped in an elevator together. They have some conversations about life, the shooting, and Eddie

Who Cares If Someone's Time Runs Out (If A Moment Is All We Are)

To Eddie Diaz, Ana Flores was perfect on paper. She was everything that his parents had told him he needed in a wife growing up. So he really wanted to make it work. To do that, though, Eddie makes the decision to push Buck away. A decision that not only hurts Buck deeply, but that could have disastrous consequences for Buck, Eddie, and the entire 118 family. Will Eddie realize what he has done before it's too late?

Thought I would never see her again.

Buck and Eddie go to Parent/ Teacher conferences and are interduce to the new vice Principal who just so happens to be one Miss Ana Flores. How will the night go when they try not to run into or have to talk to her.

i don't swim and you're not in love

She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this?

The Tale of Two Dads

Buck's supposed to be having a quiet afternoon before the Diaz's come over to bake treats for Chris' next bake sale. He's not prepared for Eddie to show up, several hours early, hiding out from his girlfriend. He's definitely not prepared for said girlfriend to sweep into his apartment and tell him that he's overreaching and needs to step away from her family, and he is ABSOLUTLEY not prepared for a call saying that Chris is missing. Will they make it through the day, or will this seemingly quiet afternoon end in tragedy?

Last updated: 10/17/23

#buckley diaz family #buddie 911 #buddie #eddie diaz #imagine prompts #evan buck buckely #edmundo diaz #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz x evan buckley #evan buckley #911 on fox #ana flores

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shadyteacup · 3 years

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Ice-cream 🍦

Kunikida x GN! Reader

This is so tooth-rotting fluffy I need to visit the dentist. Also please suggest a good title for this.. I literally ran out of brain cells..

Warnings: You might fall in love with a certain blonde man. Tread carefully!

Why was he doing this again?

Kunikida tried his best to look through the piles of shopping bags and boxes he was carrying. His foremost concern was walking into someone due to his obstructed vision, and huring them. It would be even worse if that someone ended up being you.

The mall near the ada office had a sale today , and you had felt it to be your moral duty to ensure the sale of all products of the place. So you had dragged poor kunikida with you. You could have taken atsushi along instead, but you wanted to spend some time with a certain coworker.

"Y/N, are you hungry?", kunikida gingerly asked. He wasn't hungry at all. He just wanted a reason to rest and sit down for a while. Holding all these bags was tiring, but it is in his ideals to help his colleague, and he is a strong man, so he would never admit it out loud.

Besides, he would do anything for you. Not that he'd ever admit it.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am. Want an icecream?", you said, turning to face him, finally looking away from the many mannequins and display pieces.

"It would be ideal to have an icecream as it is said to energize the human body." ,he claimed while placing the bags on a nearby bench.

"So, you want an icecream." You stated, while trying your best to not smile.

"Yes."

"You must be tired.. No wonder you want to be energized!"

Kunikida stuttered as he realized that he had dug his own hole.

"I am not tired! I just felt like having some icecream.."

You chuckled a ,"Sure, if you say so." And walked up to the store. It took a lot of convincing, but you manged to let kunikida allow you to treat him.

"It's not proper for a colleague to pay for me, Y/N. One must be independent, and must pay their own expenses! I am not like that bandage wasting idiot! It is not ideal to owe someone monetarily!"

You looked him in the eye, making your best sad, teary face.

"I see how it is. You don't consider me to be anything other than your colleague. I honestly thought we were friends, Kunikida kun but I guess you don't consider me to be one."

Upon hearing this, kunikida flushed red with embarrassment. He hadn't meant to hurt you! He hadn't even meant to say that! What a useless person is he if he can't even convey his point?!

"That's not what I meant Y/N! I'm so sorry! Ofcourse you mean more to me! You are a dear friend!" He said.

Even though he knew you meant more to him than just a friend, he couldn't admit it out loud. He was meant to find a partner and get married in a few years. Now was not the time. Besides, he wasn't sure if you felt the same way. You were chirpy, full of mirth, mischievous and smart. And you were like that with all the members of the ada. So he figured you must consider him to be just a friend.

"Oh." ,you frown, looking away.

Had he managed to hurt you even more?

"Did I say something wrong?! Y/N, please tell me!"

You shake your head and lick your icecream.

"No, it's nothing."

You knew he liked you. You liked him too. He was so bad at hiding it, that you made it a mission to make him confess. You purposely teased him, casually flirted with him, (not that he ever realized that you were flirting) , and even coaxed him to talk about the relationship you both shared. But he always said that you two were 'friends'. He never slipped and said something like 'I like you' or 'I have a crush on you'. He was almost always composed and in control of what came out of his mouth. And it irritated you to no end.

'Well,' you thought, 'I always was the brave and daring one in this little game. I suppose I will have to initiate this journey.'

You took another lick of your icecream and hummed in content.

"This is so good. It's my favourite flavor!"

You shoved the cone in his face.

"Try it!"

Kunikida hesitantly agreed, taking a small bite from the part where you hadn't reached yet. A small bit got smeared on the corner of his mouth. He looked so adorable.

"It is good." He agrees mid bite.

You suddenly lunge forward and lick the corner of his lips, successfully licking the icecream off.

Kunikida.exe stopped working. He sat there, frozen for ten seconds. His face flushed a bright red. If you hadn't known better, you would have taken him to a doctor.

He stared at you, and after realising what had happened, he caught your lips in a kiss.

He had managed to wipe that smug smirk off your face.

You deepened the kiss.

Pulling back, you whispered,"I think I have found a new favorite flavor;)"

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