#i need the next episode right now im trying so hard not to read the manga
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doodle of the boy Ever ft dimple
#mob psycho 100#mp100#kageyama shigeo#dimple#im going sooo crazy over season 3 rn. holy shit#i need the next episode right now im trying so hard not to read the manga#fruiitdraws
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enhypen sleeping positions with s/o ₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩
fluff , soft : idol au : clingy bf
rq for any kpop groups 🤍
masterlist
a/n: after the new en'oclock ep of them all sleeping made me giggle and get to work instead of starting my new series 😭 and this was made at 1am and continued at 8am so im so sorry if its poo poo
heeseung | 희승
the spooner
heeseung is the type to be the bigger spoon in the relationship but sometimes the smaller one for some occasions. he'll definitely have you curled up in-front of him and play with your hair until you drift off. sometimes sings to you softly if you're having a hard time going to sleep or just for comfort. probably snores a bit but the soft snores where its like breathing and not annoying obviously. during the night you guys probably end up in weird positions but still somehow touching each other in some way like; hands holding, legs intertwined, or even just on top of each other at this point. if you guys weren't spooning he'll have a leg possibly out of the covers or up.
"babe stop moving.." heeseung whispered trying to make you stop squirming around while trying to watch whatever you were watching before you guys would sleep. "im uncomfy hee the sheets are literally choking my throat" you barked back while marry my husband intro is playing in the background. "okay okay sorry just calm down and watch this episode alright?" he comforted while playing with bits of your hair in the spooning position. you quickly apologised while regaining your attention to the show which heeseung was also into. feeling his breathe down your bare neck gave you shivers while his jo malone cologne that hadnt washed off could be noticed. he kissed your neck as 'im going to sleep now' which made you quickly turn off your phone and throw it down beside the bed on a pillow. you snuggled back onto him and grab is hands to hug you for comfort which made him smile and dig his face into your messed up hair which smelt of vanilla shampoo.
READ MORE UNDER THE CUT !!
jay | 제이
sweetheart cradle
jay is the type of guy to hug you but HOLD YOUR HAND LIKE INTERTWINE YOUR HAND WITH HIS WHILE YOU SLEEP!!??! i think its more comforting to him because he knows you're there and that you wont leave him. he probably lets you sleep half on his bed and half off but i think most of the time he'll let you sleep fully on top of him but for the sake of this its half / half. i damn right know jay will probably wrap you up like a burrito with blankets so that you dont leave a cold spot for him to wake up to. i think your legs would be intertwined if you both were cold but most of the time its just a head on the chest and arms wrapped around with hands intertwined.
"are you satisfied with how we are positioned love?" jay called out in the middle of the dark with only the city lights shining through through the cracks of the curtains. you nodded and snuggled into his side and took a big deep breath before wrapping your legs with his. he kissed the top of your head while brushing your hair so you could fall asleep first before him. he only did this to know you were sleeping well and not awake staring at the roof. "give me reasons we should complete.... you should be with him, i cant compete" jay softly singed from the song 'slow dancing in the dark' by joji. slightly humming before noticing your out asleep softly breathing with little snores breaking through making him chuckle and closing his eyes to join you.
jake | 심재윤
head on chest
jake is the guy to have an arm behind his head and one around your waist like side hugging you. you on the other hand would be next to him with your head on his chest. he would definitely be caressing your open skin or under your shirt (GOOD INTENTIONS ONLY FLUFF RAHHHH) rubbing your hip with his thumb. sometimes he'll pull you on top of him to get more hugs when he needs them but more of the time you guys are just a head on the chest and thats all. I feel like jake would do a uno reverse and place his head in your boobs and really enjoy it. he'll be in heaven if you play with his hair and be situated in between your boobs.
"babbbyyyyy can i lay on your boobs please :(" jake hovered over your body on the bed pleading for mercy. "no im on my period my boobs are sensitive.. just wait one more day" you answered while looking at him and poking him on the hip, stomach, face. he pouted and looked like someone stole all his legos from him. he settled next to you while pretending to be upset while huffing and sighing a lot so you can get the memo which you did but just silently laughed at. "jake. stop huffing you can lay on them just dont do anything bad" when he heard the first few words he jumped and placed himself on top of you which caused you to wheeze. "thanks baby love you" he smiled while nestling and rubbing your skin causing you to softly find yourself going to sleep which jake did shortly after.
sunghoon | 박성훈
front to front / intertwined
I feel like sunghoon would be so used to having his head under the covers from being in a dorm with ni-ki and his little pranks. he’s the type to just squeeze softly bits of your skin while laying with him in bed. I think during throughout the night sunghoon would just causally move his arm behind your head while you hug him like a koala. both of you are very clingy while sleeping but it makes you both sleep well and have a good night. just like jay and heeseung he’ll probably sing to you so you can sleep. definitely a bit of a tease and annoying you before you sleep but it’s the memories that matter. he’s also the type of guys just to randomly get up in the middle of the night and grab something small to snack on and go back to bed so don’t be surprised if he disappears. you guys are better at sleeping during a move than just laying and staring at the ceiling so that’s why you both said to watch movies during the day.
“sunghoon!! stop tickling me” you laughed loudly and tried to swat away his hands from touching your ticklish spots. he just looks at you loving and smiles and proceeds to tickle the hell out of you. as the tickling continues for another good thirty seconds before stopping and sunghoon laying on his side facing you. softly moving a piece of your hair to the side tucking it behind your ear then proceeding to kiss your forehead. he smiles while hugging you while pecking your neck heaps then moving to your shoulder before finishing. He moves up and lays his head on yours and stroking your hair to make you fall asleep in his arms. “love you hoonie” you said while tangling your fingers with his free hand. he smiles and kiss the top of your head and closing his eyes. “love you too bubs” before drifting off to sleep.
sunoo | 선우
full body on body
sunoo is a guy who would NOT move during his sleep so your the only one moving around heaps. you'll be situated laying on top of him while he has a hand touching your butt (😱🫢) JKKJKJKJKJK he'll just have it resting wherever so it might land there sometimes 😉. you guys would defiently watch ghibli studio before going to sleep or even those tiktok part one to like part 49329 of a reddit story. but i have a feeling you both would just just pass out asleep as soon as you both lay down. you would play with the strands of his poor damaged hair but its okay because its soft either way 😍. theres really nothing else because i generally think you both would just sync sleep ...
"am i the asshole for not giving my baby to my sister?" could be heard off your phone while both of you are silently watching the 5th part of the reddit story. you both left out a gasp everytime something happened but it had finally come to an end which caused you to turn off your phone and snuggle into your boyfriend. you played with the strands of his hair whilst he played with the his shirt that your wearing that was a little too big for you. "sometimes i wonder if i could write up a shit story and get it placed by tiktok and be famous asf" you said out of the blue which made him halt and giggle at your words. "probably could if you wanted" he said while both of you thinking on what you would write about. "oooh i have one, what about 'my sister turned into a furry and tried to kill my kids'" sunoo just started giggling at your title for a reddit story. "well we can talk about this in the morning because i want to sleep >:(" sunoo said before pulling the covers up so it could reach your neck. you both snuggled and fell asleep to dream about eachother wink wonk
jungwon | 정원
body on body / head on shoulder
jungwon would be a sleeper who would just move heaps but you know was great! you both are so waking up would make you both giggle at. sometimes one of you would be off the bed or almost falling off while the other is a starfish. starting the sleep off you would be on top of jungwon while he's hugging you from below. but as the night unfolds its literally everything at once. you guys once mentioned to record from your ceiling to see whos pushing each other off the bed but ends up to be Maeum sleeping in the middle of you both having basically the whole middle of the bed. I also have a feeling that you guys sync sleep so it doesnt matter if one of you were awake later than the other you both are just so used to having each other in bed.
"wonnn make sure theres pillows next to the bed because if one of us fall off the bed we are gonna be in a grump" you stated while sitting on the bed with maeum petting the small petite dog. you laid back while the big bright lights were still on due to jungwon placing the softer pillows on your side while he said the harder ones and one of your teddies that maeum didnt end up half eating. jungwon was finally done and turned off the massive bright lights then settling into bed with both you and maeum. who eventually made his way to the bottom of the bed keeping guard. you laid on top of jungwon while he hugged you like a burrito. "i'll see you on the other side of the bed tomorrow". you stated while snuggling in between his neck and shoulders. "nighty night..!! love you" jungwon stated before falling into a deep sleep.
ni-ki | 니키
body on body / spooning / face to face
ni-ki was a menace and was definitely one before bed as well. he's teasing you but you have bisco to go basically attack ni-ki in the process. but while laying in bed bisco would go off to his little bed on your side of the bed which bisco moved whenever ni-ki placed it in the corner of the room. ni-ki would be the type to have you in different spots but mainly ontop of him so he gets to rub your back and let his hands roam on your back and your hair. sometimes spooning or face to face when you both can't be bothered moving. you guys would definitely send snap videos to the enhypen groupchat of each others 0.5's which you would occasionally get from everyone back. sometimes ni-ki and you would be cheeky and do weverse lives in your bed trying new international foods you would find. normally staff would have to force it off but they gave up and let it only happen every friday night. but either way you guys would sleep as well synced due to all the heavy schedules you have
"bisco go bite his leg" you whispered to the dog who was currently in your arms while you rest against the wall. bisco jumps up and runs to ni-ki to bite his leg and run back to you. ni-ki side eyes the dog before jumping into bed with only the galaxy projector as the only light in the room. while bisco and ni-ki have a side eye comp you brought out one snack which was from Australia which was the tim tam (GUYS AS A FELLOW AUSTRALIAN THESE THINGS ARE THE BOMB) ni-ki started the weverse live which you both enjoyed thirty minutes of trying them while jake was happy that you guys enjoyed them. after the weverse live you both snuggled into each other for warmth as the lights of the city glazed through and the projector up on the ceiling. you both softly fell into a deep slumber while bisco sleep near you instead of ni-ki due to their ongoing beef with each other.
#enhypen x reader#enhypen#masterlist#x reader#kpop#enhypen riki#niki x reader#riki nishimura x reader#kpop x reader#enhypen niki#lee heeseung enhypen#lee heeseung x reader#jay enhypen#jay x reader#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon x reader#jake enhypen#jake sim x reader#jungwon enhypen#jungwon x reader#enhypen sunoo#sunoo x reader#₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩 avas works
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~NOT YOU TOO!~
miles1610/hobie brown x black fem! reader
sum: miles cheats on reader w gwen, reader gets even 🤷🏽♀️
warnings : slang, the n word, cursing, cheating . emotional cheating. READER BEING PETTY unedited and not proofread
genre: angst, a lil of comfort?
a/n:i rly hope it don’t disappoint, part 2 w miles and reader make up eventually, cause i can’t stand writing miles as a dickhead. JUST A STORY, I DONT CONDONE CHEATING, DONT THIS TO PEOPLE.
- - - - - - - - - <\3 - - - - - - - - - -
first time in a long time.
hurting deeply inside .
there it was. the confirmation you so desperately needed to blow off on miles. you’d suspected he was messing with gwen for a little while now, him leaving you too go on missions with her that ONLY they knew about, being on facetime with her while he was at YOUR house, his highlight on instagram for her, not to mention the countless drawings of her around his room that he hid horribly, just a bunch of weird shit. you had conversations about it before but he always reassured you and gaslit you until you shook of the accusations. but now, now you knew he was cheating. miles was in the shower he left his phone on the nightstand, you looked long and hard at it. debating whether if it was a invasion of privacy, as you thought about it you get more and more upset. if gwen could be an invasion of your relationship then this didn’t really matter. you pick up the phone and put the password it, it’s his birthday (narcissist 🙄.) you go to gwen’s message thread, the blue heart next to it made you infuriated. your stomach twist and your eyes leak with tears that you don’t even try to wipe not wanting to miss anything. all of the “i love you’s” and the “im with her right now’s” made your fingers tremble as you scrolled farther into their text. why did he waste his time with you if he loved her? why would he do that to you? when did he fall out of love? what did you do? your thoughts quickly interrupted by the sound of the shower turning off you jumped up turned the phone off and put it in the same downward facing position wiping your face speed walking back to the bed pretending to watch tv.
“what’s going on now , ma?“ he asked referring to the episode you were watching. your face turned as you came up with a lie. “uh nothing really they just found out she was pregnant” you huffed, you’ve never been a good liar and miles could read your emotions like they were his own, you had no idea how you were going to go the rest of the night with him, so you didn’t. getting up from the bed you acted like your mom texted you to come home, frowning looking at the fake text. miles squinted at your pout, walking closer to you he said,
“you okay?” “my mom said i had to come home, she’s going out tonight and wants me to watch my sister, she’s sick” miles fake frowned “you want me to come with you?” he suggested walking to his drawers to get some clothes. you shook your head no “i don’t want you to get sick, it’s fine i’ll just facetime you okay?” you said as you picked up your purse and put on your shoes. “okay at least lemme drive you home. can’t have my baby walking alone in the dark.” he joked as he put on his own shoes and jacket too. you internally cringed at his sentence reminded of who he also called his “baby”.
trust, trust who?
watching my back even when i’m in the booth.
ohh, trust who?
you’re in the passenger seat of his car, seeing the blue hair tie in the cup holder that wasn’t yours. you stared at it for a bit rethinking your entire relationship. he glanced at you, then the hair tye. he spoke up rubbing your thigh trying to get your mind off of it. “u wanna go to the mall tomorrow? we can get froyo.” he suggested knowing that you liked the froyo place in the mall, you knew he was trying to make you happy so you wouldn’t question the hair tye you just went along with it.
“yea okay.” you smiled warmly at miles not meaning it at all. his phone buzzed and you both looked down at it, the speed of which he grabbed it in was almost inhumane. you side eyed him closely as he swiped the opened the message then turned his phone off placing it into the cup holder facing away from you. as you pulled up to your house he leaned forward to peck your cheek, you couldn’t stand the feeling of his lips on your skin right you. “bye mami, facetime me later okay?” he whispered as he looked into your eyes with that same look on his face that made you swoon once before. “okay, i will” you said knowing you weren’t. as soon as you got into your room you cried, searching in your mind for a clue on why he was doing this to you. you’d tears interrupted once again as your phone buzzed, who was calling you and why couldn’t they go away ?? you checked it as a small smile speared on your face it was margo. margo kess had been your best friend since before you met miles, she worked at the same spidey agency he did , or whatever the fuck it was called. you answered wiping your tears. she was eating unti she saw your expression. “what happened??? why you crying boo?” she frowned at you through the screen “miles is cheating on me with gwen, i checked his phone” you chuckled through sniffles as her jaw dropped “what the fuck?? u exposed him his ass right ??” she shouted and you shook your head “i was in denial i guess, i still can’t believe this shit” “you know what you gotta do right?” she said and your face turned into a confused expression “what i gotta do?” she rolled her eyes “get even duhhhhh!! you way to pretty to let this nigga cheat on you with a big back ass bitch you know that.” you snorted at her compliment “ion know mar, maybe gwen didn’t know we was dating” you said trying to express grace to gwen.
“bitch how?? all that nigga do is talk about you, not to mention youre his lock screen.” you tilted your head in agreement, she spoke up again “and you been told his ass all that shit he did with gwen was weird and he didn’t stop it? if he wanna act nonchalant you can act notchabitch” margo smiled as she her attempt to cheer you up worked. “speak of the damn devil, guess who texted me.” you smirked as margo raised her eyebrow “don’t tell me you talm bout hobie.” you tried to fight the smile on your face as you clicked on his message
“hey, wyd rn?” the text read. margo sighed as she saw the smile on your face “HOBIE. HOBART BROWN?? really (name)? well i mean the way he looks at you is crazy, and i been saying y’all would be mad cute .” she shrugged as she resolved up her own feelings, you nodded as you thought about it . was this really what you wanted to do? hurt miles? nonono if he didn’t care about hurting you he can’t say shit when you do it back. you texted hobie back “nun rn, wby?” and he replied almost instantly “im bored, lemme come over?” you almost laughed at how you realized that hobie has never cared about your relationship with miles . you told him yes and you said your goodbyes to margo as you got ready for him to come over, eyes burning as you saw the multiple hoodies that miles owned .
“hey love.” hobie said as he walked into your room from the window, you always noticed hoboes accent but you never noticed how attractive it was until now. “hey hobie.” you said as he lifted your chin up with index and thumb. “you’ve been crying? what happened ?” he said trying to read your face. “um nothing just stuff with miles” he almost winced at the mention of miles, he would offen tell you that he wasn’t good for you, guess he was right. “what did he do now. something when gwen again i bet” you sighed deeply remember the messages in his phone again. “yea, he’s cheating i just found out.” hobie eyebrows furrow as you say this, if he didn’t like the way miles was treating you before, he definitely hated him now.
“i was just joking but, really? what the fuck? after everything you’ve done for him? i’m gonna murder him i swear to g-“ “hobie no, no don’t say anything. i’m fine i’m gonna deal with it myself.” you say pushing him back with your fingers. “at least let me make you feel better.” he said giving you a tight hug. he smirked as he said “you know i’d never make you feel like that.” you snorted into his chest pulling away, hobie grabbed your face with both hands and kissed your forehead. “you don’t deserve this ,(name) you deserve the entire world” he muttered , looking down at you with so much care. stand on your tipe toes to kiss hobie, he doesn’t kiss back for a while in shock but then he reciprocates it and you know you shouldn’t do this, that’s the exact reason why you did it anyway . you pull away looking up into his deep brown eyes, you needed this, comfort from someone that wasn’t hurting you. someone that wasn’t him. he kissed you again more aggressively this time. he pulls away this time only to catch his breath. he pecks your lips once , then twice. he smiles at you then walks to the bed and turns on the tv, you thought it was weird but you also didn’t want to talk about it, and definitely didn’t wanna do anything further. after watching tv with him at a uncomfortable distance you decide to address the elephant in the room.
“so, we not gon talk about that?” you turn off the tv before turning your head to look at him and he does the same “we don’t have to, you know i like you. but i don’t think you need that tonight, i think you just need me here.” he said and honestly, he was right. even though he had you all the way fucked up onna tuesday, you still loved him. you just nod at hobie and he kisses your cheek wrapping his arms around you so he’s spooning you, the way hobie is holding makes you think that he’s the only boy in the world. he falls asleep and you lie awake looking at the ceiling, you decide to go on instagram looking at people’s story until you see gwen’s story, it was a picture of her and miles in his car her feet up on the dashboard, the same car you were just in, the same car you had your first kiss in. that’s not even the half of it, the picture had a “besties” caption on it but you could tell from 20 miles away they were far from that. you take a picture of hobie asleep and post it, tagging him too copying the same caption as gwen had. after maybe 20 minutes miles replies to it “wtf? why are you letting hobie touch you like that? and i thought u had to watch your sister” “and i thought you and gwen were besties?” you reply back sending him the screenshots you send to your phone if gwen and miles text he starts blowing u up like crazy but you put your phone down and snuggle closer into hobie, maybe you could get even.
doing my own thing,
i’m down to come clean,
not like you.
lmk wat u think 😭.
#black reader#miles morales#across the spiderverse#miles morales x reader#1610 miles x reader#hobie brown#hobie my beloved#hobie x reader#hobie brown x reader#hobart brown#gwen stacy#gwen x miles#margo kess#spider byte#female reader#Spotify
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I’M JUST GLAD YOU’RE OKAY
Emily Prentiss x reader
wc - 1602
TW // coma , concussion , hospital (basically the Emily plot of the 5x11 episode) , sickening amount of pet names (honey, baby, sweet girl and pretty lady)
A/N - so much angst but it’s fine cause there’s fluff at the end
"Hey honey" Emily started
"Hi Baby, you okay? you're late where are you?" you groggily replied as Emily woke you up at 10pm.
"I'm okay, so listen I'm gonna be home a little bit later tonight okay? I'll try to be home as soon as I can it's just gonna be a little later than what I told you okay?"
"Okay Em, I'll wait up for you" you said as you yawned.
Emily could hear your tiredness through the phone as she laughed a little bit "No baby it's okay, go to sleep"
"Mmkay I love you stay safe" you replied already half sleeping.
“I love you too Y/N"
At 5am you were woken up as your phone was ringing, Emily's name flashed on the screen "Emmy? where are you?"
"Not Emily honey, it's JJ" JJ started.
More alert you jolted up "Jay? is everything okay? What's happening?"
"Me and Derek are coming to get you we'll explain everything in the car"
"I'm scared" your breath hitched, why were they coming for you at 5am and more importantly where was your girlfriend.
"So Emily was in a car accident and then she got concussed" you relayed the information back to JJ
"Yeah" JJ breathed out.
"Can I... Can I see her?" tears threatening to leave your eyes.
"Of course you can" JJ turned around in her seat and gave you a small warm smile in which you retuned.
"I'm sorry, family only" the doctor stopped you as you were about to go into her room.
You twisted the engagement ring Emily got you 7 months ago as you, dauntless with your answer you replied "I am her family, I'm Y/N Y/L/N I'm her fiancé"
The doctor who's name you leaned was Andrea gave you a warm smile with a nod "right this way" she stood back as you returned the nod and knocked on Emily's room.
"Hi honey" you spoke to her as you walked across the room to grab a chair to sit next to her bed "It's Y/N" you took her hand from her side, her body and face expressions read as if she had been sleeping for a while, she looked so peaceful so you just decided to wait for her until she woke up from the coma that you learned she was in from JJ.
"Y/N?" Emily questioned hours later pushing herself up to get to you.
"It's me honey" your hands covering her cheeks "lie back down for me" you gently said pressing her shoulders down.
"I'm sorry" Emily tearfully looked up at you.
"What for?" you scanned her face with furrowed brows.
"For not coming back earlier I-" Emily started to choke on her sobs.
"No baby it's okay I know that you're safe now and you're here with me" you replied absentmindedly running your fingers through her hair "how are you doing?" you asked already knowing the answer.
"Everything hurts" Emily replied grunting as she turned over embarrassed at how weakness was showing on her face.
"I know but you're so strong Emmy" you replied talking especially to the back of her head.
You knew this about Emily, you knew even before getting into a relationship with her that she deals with her negative emotions by compartmentalizing them, you worked so hard in the 5 years that you've known her to break those walls down and explaining that it's okay to show weakness, you even tried to convince her that weaknesses only makes you stronger, but growing up with Elizabeth Prentiss, it sure was hard to break down those walls.
Not giving you an answer but seeing her shoulders move up and down, your heart broke for her.
"Oh honey" you leaned over to kiss the top of her head "I'll be back in a minute okay, Im gonna go and see a doctor and give you a little bit of space but if you need anything just call me okay?" you sighed.
"Mhmm" she replied.
You managed to bump into Andrea, the doctor again "hey sorry to bother you, do you know when Emily Prentiss will be able to go home?" you questioned.
"I'm sorry I'm not allowed to give that information out"
"I'm her fiancé" you furrowed your brows again "Y/N Y/L/N?" you questioned.
She gave you a slight nod, remembering who you were "she can leave in about 3 hours we just have to run some more tests and then she's free to go"
"Thanks so much" you curved your lips into a smile as you left to see Emily again.
"So the doctor said you can leave in a couple of hours Em" you smiled as you closed the door.
Realizing that she didn't answer and that her breaths were small and even, you knew that she was sleeping, you walked around to the other side of the bed, Emily was facing the window which was now shining with a tiny glimpse of sunlight, you knew you had approximately an hour before Emily would wake up and be in pain again, you placed some water and her medication that the doctors prescribed to her next to you so you could give them to her straight away, you picked up a magazine and ran your hands through her hair, smiling to yourself that you knew that she was alive.
"Mmm hi sweet girl" Emily woke up groggy.
"Hi pretty lady, take these" you practically shoved the meds into her hand before she could stop you, you knew Emily wouldn't take them on her own claiming that she was "fine" and that she could "manage it"
Without a second thought because you asked her to, she took her medication straight away "we can leave in 2 hours you know" you ran your fingers through her hair something that relaxed both you and Emily before standing up to kiss her forehead.
Emily's face lit up.
"We can" you laughed a little bit at her eagerness, for someone who hated hospitals she would always be in one.
After all her tests were done and she was in the clear to leave, you gently guided her back to your car and into your apartment, you made her sit on your sofa while you put on her favourite shows.
"I'm gonna make you something to eat okay? how about some soup?" you smiled.
"I'd like that" she replied, her face curving up into a little smile.
"There's the famous Emily Prentiss smile" you cooed before turning your head to walk into your open floored kitchen.
Feeling as though Emily stood up and was looking at you, you spoke "Emmy I told you to sit down and get some rest" you said as you were looking for a bowl.
Usually she would've made a sarcastic remark or said something but she didn't say anything, you placed everything down and turned around, her tall slim build with a pale face staring at you, you knew exactly what was about to happen.
You sprinted over to her before she would fall to catch her, you picked her up and held her as Emily Prentiss just sobbed into your shoulders, you whispered things like "It's okay" and "let it out" while in a bone crushing hug, you knew she needed this, echos of sobs filled your apartment and you didn't once tell her off but you guided her through her sobs so she wouldn't hyperventilate, she was exhausted.
Once she calmed down you grabbed both of her hands in yours "breathe with me" you gently demanded "in and out" you smiled, letting go of one hand to tuck her hair behind her ears.
"Tired" she stared at you with dropped eyes, you knew she was.
"I can't let you go to bed without something to eat but I promise you can go to sleep real soon okay?"
"Mmkay" she cracked a tiny smile.
"Come on" you smiled as you guided her to your bed "Can I change you?" you asked knowing that she was too tired to do it herself, nodding gently she lifted her arms up as best as she could, you managed to get her into bed with some new fresh pajamas after about 5 minutes.
"I love you" Emily looked at you while you were in the middle of changing her, your blank expression changed into a slight smile as Emily still managed to give you the feelings of butterflies in your stomach, the same day you met her 5 years ago.
You leaned over, stopping what you were doing and pressed a long to kiss to her forehead "I'm so glad you're okay, I don't know what I would do with you" you caressed her face a little bit before carrying on with her pajamas.
"I'm gonna get you a quick snack okay so you can take some medicine and then you go to sleep"
You quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed some food and came back up quickly, when Emily took everything you could tell she was tired, she was about to fall asleep but you could see something was on her mind.
"Talk to me Prentiss" you laughed.
“Will you stay-stay with me" she smiled lightly.
"Yeah always" you smiled as you got into bed "come here" you smiled as you opened your arms for her to fall asleep in.
She managed to get comfortable in your arms, resting her head on your chest as you would occasionally stroke her hair and kiss her head letting her know how much she means to you.
#criminal minds#fanfic#emily prentiss x you#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x y/n#emily prentiss x female reader#emily prentiss x reader#paget brewster
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hi it me, the best ROTTMNT writer to ever exist I know 😌
BUT I HAVE COME WITH AN ASK GRRR IM GOING TO DESTROY YOUR WRITER BLOCK
I need the turtles trying to teach their s/o something, and they stance is just a little bit off so they come up behind them to fix their posture and 😳 I'D KILL FOR THAT 😍😍😍😍
bye bye love you boo 💋 /p
PLEASE IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS OOC FOR MIKEY OR DONNIE- I DUNNO HOW TO WRITE THEM VERY WELL (blame Nick for their lack of episodes >:()
BUT YAYAYAY OKAY IMA TRYYY I HAVEN’T WRITTEN FOR THEM IN LIKE A YEAR OR TWO
this isn’t beta read! nor is it proofread- any mistakes are there now. there is no getting rid of them, they are part of the writing now. this is so short I’m sorry
tw: NONE ITS JUST HEART THROBBING FLUFF <33
Raph
“ can you teach me how to knit? “
That’s all you have to say before Raphs enthusiastically taking you to his room
Little did you know knitting is hard
you were trying your hardest at knitting, you really were! But you couldn’t get the movements right, and the needles were so hard to move. It was honestly frustrating. Your eyebrows furrowed together as you again attempted to start a chain, you didn’t know how Raph did it. Your thoughts were disrupted by his voice ringing out “ -you’re not doin it right, here let me show you! “ he would walk over to where you were sitting and leaned over you. His plastron hitting your head slightly. It didn’t bother you, since you were distracted by his big hands grabbing yours and leading your movements, his voice didn’t process in your ears as you tried keeping your blush down. You decided it was best to focus back in so you could do it without him leading your hands, has it always been this hot in here? it was probably just you. He eventually let go of your hands “ you alright? your face is all red, are you sick? “ you could only chuckle and shake your head “ I’m alright love “ you promised before going back to knitting, so what if you were purposefully accidentally messing up? you were happy to be spending time with him.
Leo
You were genuinely so excited when you found out he could skate
“ can you teach me!? “
Didn’t even think about how hard skating is
You didn’t take in account that even when walking you kept falling over, so on wheels? Forget it your ass is grass. a few hard falls and scrapped knees later you eventually could balance on it. Trying to get going was the hard part, you brought your foot down and completely fell off. you landed on your rear-end so at least you weren’t bleeding again “ that must’ve hurt wheel bad “ you glared up at him, but your brows lifted as you chuckled. stepping back on you felt his hands on your waist as he walked next to you. “ your posture and stance is so bad “ Leo chuckled, you gave him a playful glare. your face was red though, Leo’s hand held onto you as you put down a foot and touched the floor. Letting out a excited cheer you smiled up at Leo he smirked “ I guess I’m your lucky charm Hm? “
Donnie
Coding was intriguing, to you at least
Watching Donnie spend hours on it while you do..your own thing was fun
“ can you teach me to code? It looks cool “
you poor unfortunate soul. Donnie was a amazing teacher, and nothing but patient at that. you just didn’t realize how hard coding actually was. “ okay! so- “ typing in the code you hummed in frustration. It didn’t work. Donnie reached over you, his hand taking on top of yours and like a puppet on a string he used your fingers to type in the code “ that will make it work. You weren’t listening dum-dum “ he gently reprimanded. You just simply leaned into his touch. you were on his bed, sitting in front of him. He simply laid down, it was the quiet hours of the night when both of you couldn’t fall asleep. you listened to all of Donnie’s rambles, tonight you wanted to use that knowledge. Typing away you noticed as he watched, even when you stilled or slowed down as your brain picked apart what you needed to do. Eventually you got it to work. It was a simple website for your art, but god was it amazing “ you finally did it, salutes “ his tone blunt and calm, but you could read the fine print, he was proud of you.
Mikey
You loved watching Mikey spray paint
It was obvious because of the hours you’d spend watching him
“ I wonder how I’d do spray painting? “
you got the answer to your own question: you’re shit at it. Mikey was painting next to you before he paused “ you’re holding it all wrong silly! “ he walked up behind you and grabbed your hand moving the paint can he took control off your arm and made a few strokes down like you were doing. His head resting on your shoulder, music blaring into your ears from the headphones he was wearing. Mikey simply smiled at you, his orange mask stained with paint from his messy fingers working it, you’ve come to realize Mikey has many masks. And not just Dr. Delicate Touch or Dr. Feelings. But he literally has a whole drawer full of him and his brothers masks, in case anyone needs a replacement. He let go of your hand as you continued the movements getting brought back by his comforting weight leaving your shoulder “ there we go! see now you’re holding it right, you should put on some music really get in the moment “
#rottmnt#<3#cute fluff#literally heartwarming#died while writing this#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt x you#leo x reader#donnie x reader#reader is gender neutral#no y/n#mikey x reader#raph x reader#I hope I tagged this right#I hope y’all like this#writing is surprisingly easy#I dont know why
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Hey I don't know if either of you would be comfortable with doing this (totally chill if not) but could I request something for Carlos Oliveira comforting his s/o through an anxiety episode? My doctor is moving around my medication and the adjustment is making my anxiety attacks/depressive tendencies worse and im also scared to go to sleep due to nightmare issues.
iirc the Ren (the RE mod) only does scenarios but if I'm wrong any format is fine. Thanks for reading. You two have a nice day.
Anxiety and depression sucks, anon. I hope your new medication works soon and the demons are pushed back. I'm proud of you for fighting through it, for waking up every day <3
You're my first Resident Evil request! :D And for Carlos no less! Thank you so much, and I hope this scenario helps you <3
You didn't specify gender or pronouns, so it defaults to AFAB and she/her.
~*~*~
Your grip on the bathroom sink counter turns your knuckles white, your chest squeezing as you stare at your pajamas heaped next to the sink. Next to the toothpaste, that you inevitably have to use. Next to the toothbrush, your first step in this nightly ritual.
Maybe skipping all of this for one night wouldn't hurt. Maybe, maybe you could just go to bed with the clothes on your back, jeans and bra and socks included.
The familiar acid behind your eyes burns, throat constricting as you grip that counter for dear life. A short inhale, a whooshed exhale.
You don't want to do this.
Pressing your lips together to hide their quiver, you crouch down to escape the mirror, to escape the evidence as tears slip past. You grip the counter so hard it hurts, but the pain doesn't register as the tide erupts, filling your chest and lungs and limbs and--
Did you do anything productive today? Did you do it all the right way? Your hamper is full, why didn't you do your laundry? That lunch meat in your fridge is about to go bad and all you had today was toast instead. You need to eat or you'll feel worse, but what's the point? Every day leads to night and night leads to--
"I'm home!"
The call cuts into your thoughts, pausing them for just a moment before they shift direction.
Inhaling feels like swallowing glass as you rise, loosening your white knuckled grip to wipe at your wet face, to rub at your red eyes. Fingers tangling in your shirt, you almost whimper as your arm gets stuck in the fabric and you almost rip the seams in your haste.
Tossing the shirt onto the floor, you fumble as you regret the decision, trying and failing to grab it. Chest heaving, your fingers can't stop shaking as you try desperately to unlatch your bra, to be seen as being at least half way into getting dressed like a normal person.
"Honey?"
He's in the bedroom now and your fingers can't grab the hooks, they won't bend like you want them to and they won't stop shaking shaking shaking--
"Hey. Hey hey hey." Warm hands gently grip your upper arms, turning you to face him as his brown eyes dart. You know he notes the redness in your face and eyes, your inability to take a damn breath, the movements you can't stop as you choke down the tears--
"Hey," he breathes again, running his hands down your arms to guide your fingers away from your back and into his palms. "Take a deep breath." You nearly choke, and he squeezes your fingers, thumb running along your knuckles. "Inhale." You try again. "Good, good. Now exhale."
You do, feeling that damn lower lip quiver again and trap it between your teeth.
"One more time. Good."
This is ridiculous, you're ridiculous, why can't you just be normal like everyone else?
"Hey." Laying one hand on top of your other, his free hand cups your cheek, a thumb brushing away a stray tear. "You're safe, you're okay, I'm here. What do you need?"
You need to have normal dreams. You need to be able to plan your day without worrying about the wildest, stupidest things. You need to be able to make your breakfast without worrying if you're putting the correct things in the recycling even though you've put them there a hundred times already.
All that comes out is a broken sob.
"Can I hug you?"
A sniff, a small nod, and your cheek is pressed against his chest as he wraps you in his warmth. One arm snakes around your waist as another goes around your shoulders, his hand resting lightly against the back of your neck.
The tears come fully then, sobs wracking your body. Gripping him tight, Carlos your pillar in the storm, you break apart. Know you can shatter and he'll help you pick up the pieces, loving every shard put back into place, no matter how crooked the final picture becomes.
Fingers play with your hair soothingly as you ride out the panic, as it drains you so completely, as you soak Carlos' shirt with your tears. It could've been minutes or hours but eventually the river dries up, your lungs can take a deeper gulp of air, and your fingers can relax their death grip on his shirt.
"'M'sorry," you mumble out.
"For what?" His voice rumbles in his chest, against your cheek. "For being the biggest badass I've ever known?"
Trying to scoff but only achieving a small huff of air, you croak out, "'M'not."
"Of course you are." He rests his chin on the crown of your head. "You're the bravest person I know."
You roll your eyes.
"I felt that." You feel him pause. "Hey, do something for me." Turning you both so your eyes are directed at the mirror, he continues, "What do you see?"
Weakness, stupidity, uselessness, futility--
"I see a woman who got her pajamas ready even though she doesn't want to sleep." His fingers graze against your neck, knowing the movement will keep your eyes focused on your reflection. "I see a woman who woke up not feeling well but got out of bed anyway."
"I can't stay in bed all day," you mumble.
"That's what I'm talking about. You could stay in bed all day, but you don't. You could just drink a shit ton of coffee to stay awake, but you don't. You could call out of work, but you don't." He rubs his cheek against your head, presses his lips in for a quick kiss. "It's easy to do what I do and shoot things, but what you do? I don't know if I could do that."
A few more tears slip out, but this time accompanied with a small smile on your lips. Strained, pained, but a smile nonetheless.
"And to still look stunning doing it all?" He smiles wide, giving you a wink through the mirror. "Strong and good looking."
That smile pulls just a little wider. "I look like shit."
"You look like you just beat the hell out of some demons and walked away the winner. That's sexy. Hell is literally a part of a demon's make up."
The scoff sounds a little bit more like a scoff now. "Looking like I just climbed out of a ditch is sexy?"
"Hell yeah it is. I ever tell you the color of your eyes pop after you've cried?"
"No."
"Well, the color of your eyes pop after you cry." He cups your cheeks and turns your face to his, his nose brushing against yours as he squints. "Beautiful."
"You're so cheesy."
"Does it work?"
You press your lips together and squint in faux contemplation.
"I'm taking that as a yes."
Rolling your eyes, the smile finally breaks free.
"There it is," he smiles back, giving a peck of a kiss on your nose. "You'll be okay?"
Wiping a hand across your eyes, you exhale heavily. "I'll be okay."
"So..." A hand leaves a cheek to snake down your shoulder blades, and you raise an eyebrow as he asks with a light, playful smile, "Need help with this?" A finger slips under your bra strap, right against the clasp.
"Aiming to practice, are you?"
"I don't need practice, princess. Taking off a bra is easy."
"Y'okay, big guy." Sharing a smile, you shake your head. "I'll be alright. Thank you."
That smile morphs into a genuine one. "You're welcome." Stepping back, he gives you a long, searching look before flashing a relieved smile and padding back into the bedroom. "Hurry up and get dressed!"
"So bossy!" you call, turning back to your pajamas. Your hands rests atop the fabric, muscles threatening to lock again.
"I wanna cuddle!"
A huff of a laugh escapes your nose, taking with it the rest of the tension running through your body, and you hurriedly free the girls before slipping on your pajama shirt.
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PART 2 TO MY II PREDICTIONS/WISHES/QUESTIONS (technically) SINCE YALL ACTUALLY KINDA LIKED THOSE?? and i have more!
please note btw that most, if not all, of this is not gonna happen bc they can't pack EVERYTHING into a 30 minute or so episode and not gonna lie some of these are my fixation talking and me being delusional. it's good to theorize though!!
lots of bias. let's get into it
i told my gf this BUT it'd be cool if there was a scene of trees changing, to represent seasons passing because it has to have been a year at most right
more lightbulb using her electrokinesis scenes plspls?????? like. she can just casually DO THAT....maybe have her use it for evil/J IM KIDDING. don't have her kill anyone
............................yet
another knife and suitcase scene, elaborating on the "making your presence known", how suitcase took it a different way, just a conversation if that makes sense
yknow. what was that roboarm in the gemory cave. and is it Still working after lightbulb powered it on.
unrelated but still.more so a question have we or will we ever get the full roommate list drop?? unless they're gonna wait for when s2 is done to not spoil anything
baseball and lightbulb friendship scene :] team captain style!
i think it's gonna release on OR near the anniversary, if the iii finale is so soon early into 2024 it gives slight time
can we get parent lore drop??? like hello?????? they cant just said what they said in iii ep 14 and never expand on it, so i have a heavy feeling its gonna get mentioned in s2 if not ep 15 specifically
im just hoping for lb centric, even if her lore doesn't match up well with the slams. pls im so autism abt her at this point its anything BUT funny
now here's some iii 18 predictions!! for fun :] and also me just rambling abt it (spoilers for iii 17!!!!)
those who left to the hotel come back for jury voting!! more importantly fan and pb please💥
bot and springy and gonna be near each other again next episode. springy may still try to pull some shit with bot, and, assuming so, if TEST TUBE IS BY BOT'S SIDE......
springy made that suitcase bot, so clearly he knows about season 2
we may just get ii 14 tt again. which i am HOPING for. idk i love seeing test tube ENRAGED for the people she cares about she's so fun and unique bc MAN that girl is angry. she's holding grudges against Two People
also. fan meeting bot? he is going to have such a big and hopefully impactful reaction!! pls he has his patterns and the sudden changes make him uncomfortable they need to mention this
if he knows about season 2......could he make, or has he made, toys of the other final four? again im just gripping at straws for an iis2 final four appearance
think abt it though. it's the iii finale. you think they won't do something big? considering mephone knows he has to go back? springy could easily torment him w that considering the whole "facing your past" theming
also walkie talkie is Totally associated with meeple. ik we've all figured that out but i just had to say something. very heavily focused on using electronics to better the future? implying robots taking over others positions?
also??? past contestants coming back SEEING the toys?? maybe. Maybe.
the entire episode could also just be a discussion and play on the ethics of ai and how it's affecting the writing industry by putting people out of jobs due to its advancement and im reading way too much into it but hey im putting my hard hat on and channeling my inner matpat for this stupid show about objects with limbs (/pos btw)
also. are they gonna leave floor behind??? or will they scoop him into a terrarium, then plant him into inanimate island?
can he teleport that far?? how far is paradise?????????? ae drop the map pls/silly
ALSO ALSO. WHAT ARE THE INANI-MATES?? IS N/A THE LAST OF THEIR KIND??????? i doubt it but STILL everyone else in that group died
hey. why is the background of the recap song the background used when the gemories formed the silhouette of cobs. hey now.
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The Stormlight Archive Volume 1: The Way of Kings’ Review: Chapters 9-11
link to contents page - https://at.tumblr.com/the-vibes-are-off/hey-hey/96xd9ohihrzs
oh yeah I want to do these in chunks of four chapters yeah that’ll be nice .. WRONG no it wont bc part 1 is 11 chapters long :| *sigh* ig I’ll have to live with it. I have drank so much tea since I tested positive that I have 1 darjeeling tea bag left I could cry I need more someone send me more im begging pls. If anyone gives a shit about the Criminal Minds progress, I’ve watched 20 episodes since my review yesterday.
ugh, I respect Brando setting everything out in satisfying chunks but like you should have seen just the utter defeat I experienced reaching the end of chapter 11 man ;-;. I’ll allow it because I really enjoyed this chunk....
Spoiler Free Zone:
finally, FINALLY at the end of this chunk I am starting to like Mr Edgy Boy Kaladin more like I have finally realised that the reason I wasn’t liking him that much was because he felt so low energy so it made me low energy to read it because it didn’t fit how I thought his character should be and its finally getting out of that now *phew*
I liked the flashback chapter, it felt good to get some context on why Kal is the way he is and it finally makes sense. Deffo a connecting the dots on Kaladin section which feels great I really didn’t want to go the full series having some ick over him
*** ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE ***
Spoiler Zone:
genuinely, at the start of this section all I could think was Kaladin needs a fucking break man, poor guy is absolutely slammed at every fucking corner like I just want to run him a bath and make him a cuppa. Like everyday hes acc just being rained on by a barrage of arrows and watching everyone die im not surprised he’d want to throw himself into the honour chasm i have wanted to do that over less
Living for his surgeon dad, he had the right idea. Maybe if he’d listen to papa about the whole fighting to save lives is like trying to stop a storm by blowing harder maybe Kal would just be a run of the mill surgeon saving lives and way of kings would be like greys anatomy (Kaladin the next McDreamy fr?????)
Syl is acc my fave as well shes so cute ;-; she rlly said Kal have cute leaf and its straight up poison skskks shes so me
then to round all this up on the slay of Kaladin being like yeah I died, this is my vengeful spirit just fucks so hard pop off, as he should. Its nice to see him taking his life into his own hands finally some energy brought to his section
Tab Count:
Cute <3 - 1
Fights - 0
Sad ;-; - 1
Death - 0 (Ik there was technically deaths but I’m only tabbing significant named characters or I think I’d run out of tabs)
Cool - 0
Wtf moments - 0
Slay Quotes - 2
Love this! - 0
Hate this >:( - 0
Lore - 0
Tab Total:
Cute <3 - 4
Fights - 4
Sad ;-; - 2
Death - 2
Cool - 4
Wtf wow - 2
Wtf Why - 1
Slay Quotes - 5
Love this! - 5
Hate this >:( - 1
Lore - 2 (I forgot this on the last one :/)
#brandon sanderson#way of kings#stormlight archive#kaladin stormblessed#kaladin#book#book review#books#books and reading#fantasy#high fantasy#book tabbing#book annotations#english literature#literature#literature review
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i slept all day and im still severely hurty but i think. we're getting there. o|–< im including a readmore to catch up new ppl who are curious bc ive found being open about my chronic pain has helped inform others to their own so!!!! i like sharing
i've had a gradually worsening chronic illness since 2019-2020—it's hard to say for sure when it started, but my physically demanding job at a retail store slowly went from perfectly doable to 'i cant even survive a four hour shift without multiple episodes of hiding in the bathroom just to let some of the pain subside'.
i ultimately had to quit that job in early 2021, and at the time had a writing job that i thought, surely this will be okay! i was wrong. it was so hard to work as consistently as was needed of me. i spent so much time just writing and then sleeping so i might recover fast enough to do more writing. i was ALWAYS late on deadlines no matter how hard i tried.
eventually that job closed down in general, so naturally i lost it, but i know in my heart i would have had to quit within 6 months otherwise. that was late 2021. i've been unemployed since, with no disability because despite ongoing, regular visits with doctors, we dont know WHATS wrong with me, therefore i do not have a diagnosis, therefore i cannot qualify for disability in my area. yippee!
so that's the backstory! i started pain meds last fall and theyve helped A LOT. i can have fun sometimes! i went to pride this year for the first time since 2019!! there's definitely still something wrong, and lately i do believe it's still worsening (at a slower rate than before i was getting treatment at all), but i've gotten through a lot of the guilt for being 'an unemployed, unproductive human being' and have learned how to be kinder and patient with myself. it's not my fault i'm sick. it's not my fault 'my best' doesn't look like other people's. my family loves me not for what i can do for them, but because they just love me.
it's hard to feel your ability to Do Things slip away. how i cant go to amusement parks anymore bc the trip would wipe my ass out for weeks. how i cant even go to a barbecue next door some days bc everything just hurts too much. the simultaneous RESILIENCE you build, the tolerance for your own pain that makes you second-guess if it's even real. it took me so long to realize what i was feeling was NOT normal, that most people don't have to RATION their activities, their chores, their BASIC HUMAN MAINTENANCE to make sure you don't screw yourself over for tomorrow by being in too much pain to move.
today was bad. i had a really stressful day yesterday, and woke up in so much pain it was literally all i could do to sleep. couldn't eat, couldn't go to the bathroom, couldn't sit up, could BARELY speak. it was like my body was screaming at me, "we should be in a COMA right now, we should be UNCONSCIOUS, this is not something humans were designed to consciously endure." and that's WITH 6+ months medical pain management. it genuinely scares me imagining what this would've felt like today if i WASN'T on my meds.
i'm still very in the woods, but i'm trying to make the most of my situation! i'm open to questions if you want to learn more about this, as one of the biggest things that made me realize i needed help was OTHER PEOPLE being open about their chronic condition. it's not pretty, by any means, i've left out the grossest realities here, but i think it's important to share, in case i can do for someone what those people did for me.
thanks for reading!!!! i appreciate being heard on this too. it's scary, i still worry people will think i'm lazy or a crybaby, so it means a lot when people take the time to try and understand.
<3
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was this chapter happier? yes. did I cry anyway? no shit.
“It’s deserved, even, all this burning, if he were to be finally honest with himself, and he doesn’t flinch when the fiery water hits his face.” well, i hope it’s not a projection this time cause mike in this chapter reminds me of.. myself during my depressive episode🧍🏻♀️it’s my turn to self-project
“I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t.” i don’t think i said it last time but bc see mikes pov i kinda forget that will canonically is/was in love with mike. and he was trying to push his feelings away during this 4 years. maybe even longer.
“Max steps forward to violently punch Mike in the arm” love that max didn’t hug him. not her style at all
““Seize the day,” Dustin claims, and opens the door, the winter air creeping in.” did dustin become fan if dps or he just learn latin phrases for fun?
“All he has is a bare basement and a sinking feeling in his stomach. He feels vaguely sick.” just stopped to say it’s beautiful
“It stings when he confesses, “I miss you.”” well that was the first time i crying reading this chapter
“When Will returns, he has a styrofoam cup in his hands. “Here.”” he’s clearly hurt but that shows that he still cares and will care about mike no matter what. idk does it make sense?
“Will is almost quieter when he says, “I missed you, too.”” and that where i cried for the second time. i have a thing for “i miss u” ig
“There is, unfortunately, no Steve Harrington behind the counter to sneak them into the movies” i hope steve got real adult job
“Staying in Hawkins for a little before I figured out where I want to go next sounded pretty nice” oh i see where it’s coming
“Loved, he thinks, loved, appreciated, wished –“ “wished” hits HARD
““Of course, I did,” Mike says, not having checked behind the television. “On an unrelated note, I’ll be right back.”” this one made me giggle. but more cause of the thought that they’re coming back to their little bubble, starting to feel comfortable enough to joke around. and it’s happening naturally and pretty fast
““It’s so different down here,” Lucas notes” ok, somehow ive been waiting to tell my thoughts about basement till this moment. i.. don’t think empty walls r bad thing. i think it’s like the omen of the new beginnings? yeah, my old basement was cool but it’s time to make new memories. happier. without the burden of the past. it’s like rediscovering the place u used to visit exclusively with the people u don’t talk now.
““I enlightened him!” Dustin claims, sitting opposite of her, and El snorts beside Mike.” well dustin stays the party member with the best taste 😀
one last thing i wanted to say about this chapter is that ur style has changed. diffidently in a good way. i’ve mentioned one sentence that i like but tbh.. i could choose any of them and that would be true. and i had to check vocabulary more often
oh no 😭 IM SORRY FOR MAKING U CRY ALYA hopefully the next one it is Tears of Joy 🫶🫶
LMAOO if it helps . we can both self project . mom says it's my turn with the self projection
omg that is a Fantastic point bc mike doesn't know !!! at all !!!!!! i tried to make wills frustration obvious for u know . dramatic irony but also that it makes sense for mike even tho he doesn't know the full length of it all 🫡 im so happy u noticed omg
YEYY3A OMG i am so glad u think so too 😭 i rly couldn't write max hugging him it felt Wrong
HELNGPOY dustin dps fan in this au 🫶 it has no relevancy but idc !
thank u alya ☹️ ily
NOOO no more tears . writing only Happy from now on (🤞 no promises ...)
it does make sense !!!!! it does !!!!!!!!!!!!! they're both hurt but they also Care so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
characters admitting they miss each other no matter how much it hurts . it will always get to me too </3
HELEP yes steve and robin rooming together and attending to their Adult Jobs
alya i need u to shut down ur big brain so the final chapter IS A SURPRISE OK
wished !!!!! u get it !!!!!!!!!!
YAYYYYY im so glad u thought it was natural, i was kind of second guessing myself bc it felt like Maybe it's too quick for them to joke again . but whenever i meet up with friends i haven't seen in months or even years it is always so easy to slip back to who we used to be, you know ?
"it's like rediscovering" alya u absolute angel . my graham cracker . my vanilla latte . u get it U Get It oh my god it's alll about change !!!! and it doesn't always have to be bad !!!!!!!!!!
U LIKE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA ????? FIRST THE FRIES AND MILSKSGKES 😭😭 ALYA WHY
im so flattered u think so !!!! i think i definitely took a different tone to this fic and im rly happy u noticed :] it means the world to me and im always so happy whenever u drop by my askbox with a Huge commentary like this 🫶 it means the world to me ive reread this like . nine times !!!!!!
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i. apologize for the inactivity guys. i had a rlly bad episode recently and although im back rn i can't promise how long i'll stay JDBDHD
ANYWAYS how about we have a little update? (triggering topics such as sh, ed, etc descriptions will be in red, bold text! i'll try to keep most of the negative stuff at the bottom but no promises :/)
so i forget how long i've been gone exactly, i remember logging in some rare occasions to like and reblog a couple posts but otherwise i've been extremely M.I.A (pun very much intended) and honestly that's been a bit stressful for me.
i've had a LOT of drama in classes. yeah that's right, ya girls in uni now! and i am failing SO BAD. it's rlly hard going to school everyday, like i hate it i just wanna go back to working at a shopping mall or smth lol. but hey the map of my cities kinda set up well, being the uni is right next to a lake, and on the other side is a parking lot w mcds, circle k, chatime, etc. and next to the parking lot, like legitimately across the street, is my house. i moved back in with my mom cuz rent was getting too steep, and honestly id rather be on the streets lol
probably the biggest update ihave; i'm a did system. i got the diagnosis early december, and with a shit ton of research and help from friends who have the disorder because the doctors are no help, i'm getting comfy with the label.
if you're not sure what did (disassociative identity disorder) is, it's basically a disorder which defines the presence of two or more different persons in your mind, alike to multiple personality disorder. again, i'm not a professional, and you'd think my doctor would have given me a run down on why it meant before he diagnosed be but here's how it went:
me: hey, so i haven't looked much into the subject, but my one friend who has did was telling me about their experiences and they lined up with a lot of mine. i think i might want to go about being tested
doc: mia. you don't need to get tested, it's already in your file. we've spoken about this before?
me: ...i don't think we have?
doc:
me: so you're saying you diagnosed me with did and didn't even tell me about it?
doc: well, at least you're aware now, right?
yeah. so that's two doctors i've gone through in the past three years. i didn't throw a stressball at this one, but fuck i wanted too!!
anyways, i guess i should introduce some of my alters :)
i'm mia (she.they.fae.), the host and little, i identify with how the body looks.
enzekai (he.they.it) is the co-host and caretaker, as well as the first alter i purposefully made. kai has many sources, but his main is actually an oc of mine, cairo!
and dwelle (it.she.boo) is our resident trauma holder and nonhuman. she formed recently while i was splitting and hasn't had much time in the front. her main sources are casper from girl in pieces and cassie from skins.
i'll give everyone a better intro but i'll save that for another post!
i have gotten absolutely zero progress done in my book, the toll it takes, and i find it harder and harder to write anything but immensely sad poetry anymore. on the rare occasions i can make up some headcanons but i don't think i'll be able to write any (good) fanfics for a while now, sorry
okay, onto the bad stuff. if anything listed is triggering or unappealing, please don't read ahead: ed (anorexia), sh (cutting, self sabatoge), anxiety and depressive thoughts, suicide mentions, death mentions, and otherwise explanations of feelings like abandonment and lonliness that while, in retrospect wasn't nearly as bad as i thought so, can still be upsetting just to read.
you've been warned
recently, as mentioned above, i've just gotten out of an episode; a bad one. by gotten out of, i mean i've attached myself to select people and depend entirely on them to keep me from self harming or starving. and that's completely unfair, so i've been trying to recover. my friend @my-elysian-love is helping me immensely to eat full meals and reminding myself that i don't deserve what i think i do. i'm so eternally grateful and i can never repay any of them back <3
before my choice to try recovering though, it was getting worse. i weighed 68 pounds at 19 years old. a couple nights ago, i've cut deeper than i ever have before, and i've been stuck with this sinking feeling in my stomach that i can't quite explain. i took out all my bad feelings on people i knew and loved, and when they finally held healthy boundaries and left me to my own devices so i couldn't hurt them, i took everything out on myself. i know, real remus lupin move haha.
but that wasn't fair. and even now i still feel bad, i still hate myself for what i said and did, for how i acted and it scares me how easily people are forgiving me. because i said some messed up shit while i was splitting, and that's not an excuse. and i just keep thinking it's only a matter of time before i blow up again, and maybe i'll be worse next time. maybe people won't come back, and i can't honestly blame them because i'm fucked. and as scared as i am, i'm grateful. or maybe it's just selfish. selfish because i just hate when nobodies around for me to love, to love me back. but i'm still terrified. it's hard to change up my thinking, but i'm trying. i'm trying rlly hard and i just hope that it's enough.
i'm a couple hours clean for self harm, and yesterday i didn't technically eat a full meal like i was supposed too (my older sister got mad at me and wouldn't let me eat anything). i had multiple cookies, a fruit roll up, two cups of tea, a packet of uncooked ramen noodles, a bite of a chicken finger and also i drank water! just water! for the first time in a while.
i hate that it took me fighting with everyone i loved to the point where i didn't even need to push them away anymore, they went willingly, and having multiple panic attacks in public restrooms to finally start on the road to recovery. it is so fucking hard, it's really hard. but fuck, it's worth it to see my friends happy. to not detect worry in their eyes and to believe it when @my-elysian-love says they love me (again i'm so sorry for spamming you aaa). it's worth it to finally eat cinnamon buns again, and drink tea with real sugar, not cal free sweetener. i get a shit ton less headaches cuz i don't constantly need to count cals anymore, and i haven't passed out of dehydration in 2 whole days. ik people without eds are probably like "wtf is this bitch on about?" and that's what i'm talking about. recovery is never the same as sobriety, but it's the next best thing. and i might still struggle with my body or cover up with baggy clothes sometimes but at least i'm alive to do so. cuz a while ago i was too close to death.
i attempted to kill myself again. this time by starving and eating a buncha pills. i'm lucky cuz it didn't work, and i'm still alive. i can only think of what would've happened if it didn't work. if the last. thing i did was tell someone i loved and cared about that i didn't care if they were dead. that the last thing i did was get mad at them for feeling for someone else the same way i felt for them. yk, bpd moments ✨. but i'm glad i lived to apologize and now i'm trying to recover. and ig that's all the updates i have rn
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Part 6! Of rereading Lore Olympus. Ep 51-60
On these next few parts i really just kept ranting oops. Also I just keep getting busier and forgetting to read more, but I haven't caught up with what I've read yet and that's the only thing keeping me going. Does anyone read these? Last part:
Ep 51
“What about my brother” artemis please its kinda clear at this point
So did hermes question anything or
“ i have no right to be jealous” yeah also theyre just friends dude
“Oh but hermes liked persephone” no hes a gay man argue with the wall(/j)
Why they got eels
I love how tall and slender hecate is seeing as like eventually everyone dissolves into one shape
Yes im over exaggerating what about it
Who are the fire people i love them
Bro imagine dying and like “finally free from this hell where i have to work all the time” only to be put to work when you die
“Everyone should get a fair trial with the king of the underworld” i agree but wouldnt that take forever too like there are so many deaths all the time
I literally get so tired of hades in this episode mfer has such a lack of control in his emotions
like . are you physically unable to have a conversation with her without losing it so you gotta ice her out??
“I cant accept gifts from employees” i mean yeah if they are trying to bribe you its just fuckin food man
Also this part minthe keep it in ur pants ur at work
Ep 52
Wow all women hate persephone bc shes so gorgeous so they treat her bad and like make out with her crush
My point got lost there but you get what i mean like women cant just exist they either are used to compare persephone and show how good she is or uplift her
Im not saying you cant have mean women please do but the way it all comes together just. :/
Persephone is like trying to hard to be nice and friendly and hades just kinda sits there like an idiot smh
Hermes my beloved
I want bakalava now
How would she have a driver's license demeter kept her in the mortal realm you think she would let her get that
Why do they want a car thanatos you have wings my guy
I mean. Did you die hades?
Also smth to ask before hand lmao thats on you
Hecate, agent of chaos, my wife, my everything, my-
Ep 53
I know hecate has reasons to do things but i like to believe she doesnt and she does what she wants
Theres no way minthe sounds happy on the phone when she knows its just hecate
Nah nvm shes probably scared of her
How. how does anything get done at this place
Hades can you. Can you treat her like a friend or even a worker instead of a crush its not that hard youre a big guy
I love the eels
The moment when the artstyle changes randomly and you have to get adjusted to a new one
Hecate is now a different shade of blue what
Fuck you hades putting all your emotions on a 19 y/o
Unfortunately he does treat her like any other of his employees hes just. A shitty boss
“Oh no she thinks im mad at her” yeah dude ur acting like a dick
Sorry this just pisses me off
“Shes like me” she just like me fr
Why is the building confusing what do they gain from that
Its actually so rachel doesnt have to remember the layout
Ep 54
“Is she angry” no shes tired wtf do you think
I know rachel tried so hard on the “please dont grab me” panel girl was sweating
Personally id just leave if i was the reporter but ig he needs smth
Asking for a statement isnt the bad thing its the grabbing and like pressuring yknow
Do they have close ties
I know its supposed to be casual but i wouldnt hold my mothers friend/ business partner. Whatever their lie was, like that
Idk how i would actually im going to be thinking of that
I do like how she has a trigger but im gonna be real i dont think its ever brought up again
Sure you could say she is just good at avoiding it but idk
“I dont always get to do what i want” you literally do unless it doesnt help the story
Rereading has made me see how many things are in place for the story that disappear when not needed
“Man im a lousy tour guide” and a lousy boss :D
I do just want to make sure you guys know how much i hate hades as a boss
Ep 55
Its a lobby. Thats funny ill laugh at that
“That not exactly what we do here” what do you do
I havent read greek mythology in so long
“They may become hysterical” please explain psyche i saw i reply talking about how we didnt see her reactions to phone
They were so right that mustve been fucking bonkers
How do they ease them into it? Do they go through all the years of technological advancements just quickly??
Who is hecate talking to
Let her get the jacket make hades pay the designer to make another one
Also only 3? Like 20 id get but 3? Nah
“Why is she employed here?” you were there yesterday minthe remember she got an introduction
I think hades needs an HR department yknow what
“ a coveted position” PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN THE JOBS AND THE WORK LADDER
I agree with hecate except no one treats it like a work place
Not even you really lmao
If they are scared of her why would they go bitch to her esp if they know she doesnt care
Small medium cause shes so petite but she has curves bc shes gorgeous and-
Rachel smythe sniped me :/
How did she put that on
Ep 56
Whose the green person in the back poseidon idk
Also glasses again :)
“Stop staring at me with them big ol eyes”
Yes i already made the joke its funny tho
meg/persophone is my otp /j
Seriously its already more healthy than hades gotta be honest
So nice of her to let her borrow it how is she gonna return it. They talked more im sure but its funny to think that she actually doesnt know who meg is
Why does his hair get longer in the mortal realm get up
Omg does he have extensions that would be so funny
“I have to have control” yeah you do its gross
I love persephone fury look tho
Wait why did her hair grow
I get like thats the style in that time or whatever but
“I for one find you terrifying” is such a cute line not gonna lie
Persephone why do you look like youre trying to kiss him
“How can she be doing better than me” because zeus is married
I feel like thats obvious
Blue nymph obviously evil she has to be shes a woman and-
But also i forgot her name. Tha. no uh
Its thetis :)
Ep 57
“My visions arent always correct. But they are most of the time” is such a sloppy line
Omg i forgot that hera was the reporter
Also idk how her visions work but couldnt it have been literally anyone? How does she think shell narrow it down
Persephone you are wearing a skirt thing be careful
Also. dont push off people chest just generally
Her hair got much longer but i can excuse this one bc shes using her powers and they tend to coincide
“I gotta inspect that volcano” yep. Sure is a volcano
“But once they die theyre all in service to the underworld for the rest of the eternity” is there a way to die after death bc that sounds awful
Ok but why do they have to wait how does that earn you money
Like no i get the like immediate ride for a obol or whatever but why 100 years. You lose out on so many laborers for a while that way
I love Styx hand in marriage
Haha why is she bald in the last panel
Ep 58
“Reminds me of a younger me” is supposed be like a red flag but was zeus not chill during his formative years
Why does he get so mad a her vision genuinely
Also like why he get mad about her guessing apollo
I know i know “reputation ruined and so is ours” people change yknow also i do second guess your ability to choose olympians
Spit on him queen
This is one of the spots where i feel like rachel was just pushing to make zeus a bad guy. Not like a dick but actually antagonistic qualities
“I prefer the financial benefits of ongoing unpaid labor” haha so funny /s go fuck yourself
Yeah theyre dead and have nothing else to do but damn
“Why would my mom hide it from me” i mean. Thats fair but youre the one that calls her like hovering so i doubt she wants people trying to sex you
I mean fertility doesnt have to mean sex its more than that also one second
Nvm i googled it i was gonna say hestia was a goddess of fertility but shes the goddess of home a stuff my bad
Arnold reaction meme
Oh why is it dangerous
No i know why lmao
Persephones jaw goes from ) to ] in a matter of seconds
“Just stay away from tower 4 until we get to the” THE WHAT??? THE WHAT
Thats not a joke the sentence ends there
“OH you said yes!’ to you helping her like friends do
Ok but how will he know its her
Ep 59
Yes persephone you communicate clearly!! Be healthy!!
I love the flower nymphs personally i know everyone says we dont see persephone be close with them but its the little things i think
“I literally have no idea why you want to be here” me either hades
Haha flower nymphs are dumb! Village people! Haha racism
No i know thats not what shes saying but the racism of nymphs is overlooked
Me, everytime she was handed something pomegranates: :OOOO ITS THE!! ITS THE THING
No minthe has a right to be upset id be pissed if id have to change someones entire schedule
Not the snapchat filter
Why is his name big spenda thats so funny
Ep 60
As someone who has been jealous before i have to say this isnt healthy
Like duh but so intense for someone you barely know
Hades, watching her in silence: wtf is happening
Im glad she realizes its unhealthy
Ok i know i said they dont ever bring up the “any time any place” question but they do here which reminds me that that deal should no longer exist now that hes her boss
I dont think hooking up is bad esp when they werent in a relationship tbh
Like now she is in a relationship so yeah its bad
I love snarky chat that is the most real thing in this comic
“ we need to do smth about persephone” or yall could do your jobs. Kooky idea i know
She is still flirting with thanatos which is bad
Yknow assuming the boundaries her and hades set was monogamy and no flirting
And yeah hes flirting too thats also bad
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That went by so fast i havent even processed i already read the whole episode after parties included. What the fuck i need to read my own liveblogs
ange didnt actually do shit but its still perfect because just her PRESENCE is so great i just like having her around making her comments. i recall mentioning it at some point but a Sarcastic character as a personality trait is a little hard to pull off because its so easy to make it so unfunny and annoying even... but she is so witty somehow... and shes not really MEAN she is a great talker i do think this she gets along with people GREAT... Yet she has only enemies in this world. How cruel. Ange if i was in your time i would be crying in my bed at night over the fact we woudlnt be friends.
erikas another one whose screentime i aaaalways enjoy now that i got to know her last game shes sooo much fun seriously
i somehow understand beato even less now didnt know thats possible. not sure if i like the dual personality thing she has going on id have to know more
The way she looks just like you is what I really can't get over...! I can't stand it...
kanon n shannon are so Nice. Not mind blowing not life breaking but i did cry over them that one time in the other episode i think theyre very NICE. And maybe im wrong but i cant recall kanon smiling and laughing ever before like he did this episode... Theyre nice both of thme
THEY MADE HER SAY THAT TOO? the au au (i dont know what to make of it but they obviously want me to think of hanyuu with the last convo with bern but i dont know if its like. Crazy direct in that that IS hanyuu or less tangible of a connection u know. Remains to be seen)
again i dont understand beato at all how did she weave herself up just from kanons words they seemed quite normal to me... is it the additional part about observing the trial and all maybe she understood something when it was said that shannon and kanon have less than a whole human soul But beato its ok because i TRUST you to have an explanation for everything in the end...
Somehow very happy that georges past was explained up it feels like the story knows hes a total loser and leaves it up to me to decide if i think he ha somehow redeemed himself through the power of love or not (me i dont think so because his and shannons love doesnt speak to me aside from the scene where she breaks a mirror - and even that i mostly like from the perspective of shannons character and her trying to become human more than As a scene for the couple...) (but now i feel like the storys giving me room to think that instead of me having to actively hate it something something multiple truths yeah)
lol i was probab imagining some vague epilogue stuff nuh uh they married right on my screen just now in the tea party (this was about george n shannon but well battler n beato did too) (I dont know how to feel about it yet though it was just golden land so it might not carry over i mean it should in case battler n beato but it might now i dont really get the time physics still)
ange is so amazings
that EVA appearance... the womb stuff yeah that will get to me it will oh eva...
I did trust erika to deliver last episode too but this one stabilized it that girl is an ACTOR and a DETECTIVE and a NEAR PERFECT PLAYER IN THE GAME an ENTERTAINER and has a cute dress too. wow how amazing It feels too early to do some kind of rankings but i will say if she is someones favorite i Will understand
the tea party w the unions and all i do have to wonder if thatll carry over to the next game... Human kanon?.......But maybe probably not since bern game master
HONORARY SCENE MENTIONS: the intro with the wedding and closed room flashforwards (havent had a foreshadowing scene with unknown narrator for a while - higurashi loved to do that) + kanon admitting his feelings for jessica both first to shannon n then jessica aww + erika fiercely fights miss maria age 9 over nothing + battler showing up to the love trial yayyy + the little scene with dlanor where erika goes I love you. and dlanor goes What did you say? cos its so ooc. crumble of erika lore #cheating + doll jessica how cool will probably never happen again + erikas PERFORMANCE to get the packing tape ...I... Furudo Erika... haev packing tape...!! + beato erika duel near the end i forgot how fun her playstyle is that beato
AND THEN THE TOP 3
BATTLER REJECTS BEATOS COOKIES AND TALKS TO HIMSELF ABOUT IT! How heartbreaking! Wheres beato i was grieving TOO! Woww
Erika seals battler to the closed room special shoutout to the part where she reveals she "re-killed" everyone severed their heads and shit. Who does that? She is just so crazy crazy girl i loooove her.
The wedding of course... The penetrative description of her putting the cursed ring on him... the festivities... the erika dress... the knox crew argument about the windows with gaap... the overall feeling of a This is a cursed wedding. Someone is going to object and the fact that lambdabern was acknowledging this kinda too they were like Girl where is she... the letter addressed to lambdadelta... the beato gaming... Wowwww
IN CONCLUSION. Greatest episode ever did u notice i listed almost every scene literally. What the fuck. I hear it only gets better too. Ok goodnight. erika fan club
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You seem like you really dig my story so i stayed up until 4 at night writing this im sorryvbtrbgdjf kgb
Last episode the plot thickened and I can't get these guys out of my head while i was trying to go to sleep so more writing about them, almost actually a written story addition and i did research on this one.
This one's got a little spice nearing the end but nobody does anything LIKE WAY OUT THERE
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Bakugo doesn’t have time to focus on shitty relationships. His life is in a downward spiral that has nothing to do with a certain sparkly blonde, he’s trying so hard to focus on anything and everything else. He’s been stolen by the villains, he’d been saved all he wanted to do was lay the fuck down and go the fuck to sleep for once.
Not think, not wonder, just sleep.
No matter how hard he tried how hard he shut his eyes he couldn’t block out his insecurities about his feelings. It's hard for him to explain or put into words how Sparkles a small singed mark could take up every waking and sleeping moment of his life.
He couldn’t forget about him even if he tried, you can’t forget cause there was just something so memorable about the guy who nobody really even ever noticed
Bakugo twisted and turned, tossed around in his bed with his thoughts until he finally forced himself asleep.
Aoyama on the other hand did not sleep well period, he was ass in training the next day due to this which didn’t go unnoticed, many people asked him if he was ok only to get replied “Oui, just a rocky night” or “Does my dazzling not shine bright enough today?” The fucker was putting on an act he must have thought he was so sly, but Bakugo wasn`t fooled.
He let this continue for a few days because the license exam was coming up and he really needed/should be working on super moves. Creating AP shot was going swimmingly at least he had that going for him- that was until that nerd had to come along and pour not just salt but a whole shaker into his wounds. Saving All might like he was supposed to be a goddamn pro.
THE NERVE
This is the thing that made him nearly forget about his own problems, made him focus on what's in front of him instead of beside him.
Bakugo looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. “I’ll talk to him after the exam.” he thought watching the water droplets fall from his face into the sink. He scrubbed a towel over his face and went on his way.
Fate would allow him to avoid seeing pretty boy so his central point of interest stayed fixed on the exam. He viewed it as a good thing (but was it truly?)
After the shitty exam his classmates stood around him reading their papers searching for their names on the list of passers.
Those who weren’t fortunate enough to pass there was still a chance for them to get their licenses.there was going to be a special training course in March if they did well on their individual test they would issue provisional licenses to them. HOWEVER balancing special training with current school work was gonna be literal torture for a student. They were offering retakes for the exam in April which just wasn’t an option for Bakugo to slack off. He’d have to really dig deep in everything as if he already didn’t pour his soul into everything he did.
LIKE HELL HE’D LET AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS PASS BY!
All of that stuff is super important but right now he needed to know something else.
“Come outside after everyone’s asleep. It’s about your quirk.” He passed by Deku, whispering hard. He made sure the nerd heard him and didn’t linger.
The first person he went to after his fight with Deku was Kirishima, he patched up his own wounds and knocked on his friend’s door. He let him in, let him vent, he listened to everything he needed to vent about that he could talk about cause unlike Deku he can keep his feelings out of other people's secrets.
He was there for a solid two hours before going to bed in his own bed. He wanted to stay god knows he would have preferred to sleep next to someone the way he felt in that moment. He honestly didn’t think he deserved it so he stayed in his own room.
Aoyama had to go to classes. Bakugo not being there didn’t stop him from staying a little longer to at least talk to him for a bit.
He watched the two of them vacuuming and cleaning up before he spoke up.
“I’m off.” He stood there making no attempt to do no such thing.
Midoriya more than glanced and nodded bidding him the day, Bakugo didn’t even look at him or so he thought. If you were a crazy person like Midoriya you would notice Bakugo stopped cleaning for a millisecond, started again. His head didn’t move but his eyes did, ruby red’s glared at Aoyama before he actually did make good on walking out the door.
“What was that?” Midoriya brought up breaking the silence a second time. Once for asking about how Kacchan thought about his fighting style, Now about whatever that was.
“What was what?” Bakugo snapped ever in the bad mood.
“Nothing i guess.” Midoriya shrugged knowing not to push it, Bakugo was being nice enough as is.
On the third day Deku was released from house arrest, Aoyama took this time to say more to Bakugo before he would go to his classes. He might not look it but he was smart enough to understand Bakugo didn’t want Deku in his business like that. Everyone was off while Aoyama turned back towards the dorm saying something like he forgot his special light up pen. Toru offered him her fuzzy pen but he said this one was special so they let him go believing the sorry excuse.
Stepping back onto the porch, he looked at the windows seeing if Bakugo was in the common area.
“What are you doing twinkle toes?” He asked lip slightly drawn up on the other side of the glass. He gave Aoyama a heart attack but he didn’t quite scream his mouth was closed so it was muffled by his tight lips.
“Aren’t you supposed to be lollygagging with the rest of the extras?” he would rest his arm against the window but he just clean that shit, he opted for shifting his weight onto one hip and crossing one leg over the other on the wall part next to the towering glass windows.
“Please don’t scare me like that!”
“Get your ass in here i don’t have a reason to be outside so i ain’t going.”
Aoyama hurried inside. The emptiness of the dorm was weird, he almost felt like he was skipping but he really just wanted/needed to talk to Bakugo.
“Spill it or get the fuck out.” he said in his usual snappy tone.
“I just wanted to say I wanted to talk with you if you have a minute...”
“About?”
“Well..” he shuffled. “I don’t think we have enough time to talk so i’ll have to tell you later or another time you're free.”
Bakugo stared at him like a lion, his eyes cold. He flicked his neck. to the stairs.
“Come to my room tonight.”
Aoyama couldn’t lie a faint blush rose to his cheeks across his nose at the sound of something so provocative coming from Bakugo. DONT GET HIM WRONG he knew what he meant he just had a dirty thought is all.
EVERY BOY DOES WHEN YOU LIKE ANOTHER PERSON he thought trying to convince himself there was nothing wrong with the way his brain was working right now.
“Stop making that fucking face, say what you can then go get your shitty light up pencil,” He walked closer to him. “Or were you just fucking with everyone’s heads?”
The closeness made Aoyama dizzy, not normal dizzy but hazy he guessed? Not uncomfortable the opposite! He wanted Bakugo this close.
he missed him this close.
He couldn’t find the words, like really he couldn’t he had forgotten what he wanted to say. “Um, even people like me forget i’m sorry.”
Bakugo huffed him off walking away. “Fuck off.” He didn’t mean it, he just wanted him to get going.
Bakugo was smirking with his back turned, he saw that stupid light up pen sticking out his bag, he didn’t want Aoyama to get in trouble for being gone so long so he ended the conversation.
Aoyama thought about Bakugo and tried to remember what he wanted to say throughout class. If he remembered he wouldn’t know cause when that third year who was part of the Big 3 knocked him and everyone of his classmates he really forgot everything and he was on the floor. When he came to they were being talked to about his this guys insane quirk worked but he honestly didn't care all that much.
He almost swore in his thoughts about forgetting what he wanted to say to Bakugo. The ragamuffin was rubbing off on him.
Aoyama spent the remainder of his day nursing his tummy and talking to his classmates about normal school stuff
until night fell around. He waited until everyone was supposedly asleep before sneaking up the stairs to Bakugo's dorm room. The door was left cracked open and he walked in slowly and quietly. Bakugo was nowhere to be seen so he was either in the bathroom or at their spot.
On the roof.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
(DIPPING IN TO SAY SOMETHING turns out research is something you should always do because Bakugo’s room is nowhere near the roof and the only thing he could do is sit on the guard railing outside his balcony but i don’t give a flying fuck so pretend Bakugo and Kirishima live on the 5th floor cause i dont wanna move Bakugo’s room from being Kirishima’s neighbor)
back to the story
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Aoyama closes the door behind him before going to Bakugo’s balcony to climb up onto the ledge to get to the roof where he spots his blasty boy.
He’s already got refreshments and blankets. One is light purple and the one he has around his shoulders is blue has yellow All Might initials on it. “We ran out of capri suns so we only have sunny D and Kool-aid bursts. Pick one and sit down.” It’s a weird order.
“Kool-aid please.”
Bakugo offers him a red flimsy plastic bottle that Aoyama rips the top off with his teeth like kids normally do and starts sucking on it to get the juice out.
Bakugo bluntly asks him what's been going on in the days of class he’s missed. Aoyama has to refuse. “I honestly couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to mon cheri. Mr. Aizawa would sooner have my head on a platter.” he jokes darkly.
“Well fuck i guess.” Bakugo sighs.
They stare at the dark blue sky for a bit before they start getting to the meat and potatoes that is a conversation they should have had a while ago.
Aoyama once again stares at his feet or anything else that isn’t Bakugo trying to come to what he can say that wont get him yelled at. Bakugo is already inside his mind because he tells him to “Stop over thinking shit and say what's on your mind damnit.”
He purses his lips trying to ignore how he even knew- nevermind. He opens his mouth to speak.
Here goes nothing.
“I’m sorry you didn’t pass.” Before Bakugo can swear about how he doesn’t give a fuck Aoyama continues on. “But i know you probably don’t care about that so you don’t have to say anything. Why bring it up in the first place i know.”
Aoyama surprises him by being 5 steps ahead of his brain so Bakugo shuts his trap since he knows everything that’s going to come out of his mouth apparently. “Fucker.” He says a smirk twisting his lips into a natural smirk. Not a angry one or a taunting one, he’s amused at how well someone that isn’t Deku knows him.
It’s endearing.
“Never thought someone would make me feel like that Twinkles, i can respect that i guess.”
“Oui,” Aoyama replies, wrapping the fuzzy purple blanket around himself a little tighter. “.. were you avoiding me because you were working on your moves or was it because of something i did?”
“I wasn’t avoiding shit, your the one who started acting weird and wanting space or whatever, i have other priorities ya know?” Bakugo shoots back.
“Oui,” repeats, closing his eyes for a brief moment. “Getting in trouble sounds important.”
“Shut up glitter face that wasn’t part of the plan, it was a byproduct!”
Aoyama brings his hand to his mouth to smother away his snickers. Bakugo isn’t really mad, he's just pissy. He likes it when it’s like this, talking, Aoyama doesn’t talk a lot so he loves to get to be half of his real self around someone like Bakugo who won't judge him.
He doesn’t have to fully pretend he can be sassy,
he can tease,
he doesn’t have to hide.
It’s nice, it gives him a chance to be a real person. Bakugo encourages this behavior all the time, he also likes it when Aoyama is this way which makes him glad he met someone like Bakugo.
He’ll miss this he really will…
“Did I truly anger you darling?” He’s smiling when he asks this but he doesn't feel like a smile, he'd hate to be the leading cost to Bakugo's anger. It rips his ribcage apart to even slightly have the other boy mad with him just a little bit. (Which isn't good for a number of reaons he'll leave alone right now)
“Like you could," he makes fun of him in a loving? manner? he jokes at him. "I'm not mad at you and I never was mad with you.”
“That’s good, that makes me feel better.” Aoyama says hugging his arms to his person.
Bakugo glances over at him, he looks comfy. He would look even more comfy if the thing he was hugging wasn’t a blanket but another human one such as himself. Bakugo stands up, receiving a look from the other blonde. He then stands in front of where Aoyama is sitting.
“Move, let me in.” he says in that voice of his. He asking for permission to be close. Aoyama looks at Bakugo for a second, before opening his arms holding the blanket open for Bakugo to come inside and share his warmth.
He gets on his knees and leans his head on Aoyama's shoulder. Pressing his face into his neck he misses the warmth of this body specifically. He whines quietly pressing his whole body against Aoyama in a hug while Aoyama wraps Bakugo in his arms.
He speaks in french, Bakugo doesn’t know what he’s saying (He honestly never knows what he’s saying half the time if they are being honest) but he knows it sounds nice. He kisses Bakugo’s hair. He missed that too. He’s rocking a little it’s like a lullaby in body language but not a sleepy one.
“Fuck.” Bakugo softly says.
“Whats the matter darling?”
“I… I missed this.”
For once he doesn’t beat around the bush he says what he means, no long ass figuring out anything to try and understand what this means he just says what he means, what he feels.
“I missed you.” He adds in.
Aoyama hums in agreement. “I miss you too,” He replies in a hushed tone rocking Bakugo like he’s a infant about to pass the fuck out in his parents arms and be put to bed soon.
Actually thats kinda fucking weird. He thinks… nope not gonna let it ruin it.
“Can we move this to the bed darling? It’s rather chilly tonight and it’s nicer for cuddling.”
Fuck he was cuddling wasn’t he? he ‘s like a big stupid teddy bear. Curiosity suddenly over takes him but he refuses to ask whats poking him. -Could Aoyama carry him?-
“Fine,” he opts for instead, they climb down from the roof and slug their bodies into Bakugo’s bed, Bakugo turns over on his side while Aoyama gets in next to him and spoons him, locking their legs underneath the covers.
“Don’t think i didn’t see your fucking face light up like a damn traffic light.” Aoyama’s semi sleepy state is awakened when Bakugo suddenly says this thumb rubbing over the hand that’s wrapped around his god given 27 inch waist. He was in a trance about to fall asleep this woke him the fuck up.
Bakugo’s smile is evil when he leans back to see Aoyama’s wide eyes. “You thought when i said come back to my room you were getting something you fucker.” He ever so gently rolls his hips into Aoyama's, causing the boy to turn red as a stop sign. (More like go sign)
“Heh, pervert.” He almost laughs, kissing him on the lips taking a simple love bite before doing that again.
Aoyama is dizzy again in that hazy way. He has to hold in any sound not to make a fool of himself (Honey you already have dont worry)Still he holds Bakugo a little closer. His toes curl in anticipation, was Bakugo willing to go that far? He wasn’t stopping him if he was but he surely wasn’t going to try and be the first to dive into such a thing. His thoughts are soon changed after a couple more kisses and body grinds, Bakugo is doing all the work and he’s just here for the ride.
He tries to dip his fingertips into Bakugo’s sweatpants to see if he truly feels strong about this but when so much as a fringe of skin makes contact with the other blonde he grabs him by the wrist.
Aoyama flinches into the kiss. He opens his eyes. (WHEN WERE THEY CLOSED?)
Bakugo finishes kissing him, pulling his lip a little before pulling away.
“No you don't,” Bakugo says. “Not tonight.”
There is a promise of another night in that statement.
Aoyama gulps nodding, he moves his hands away like a good boy replacing them to a more appropriate position. He's got him by the chest instead. His face falls between Bakugo's neck and shoulder He kisses him on the ear.
“You really are out to get me aren’t you?” It’s a joke but he isn’t laughing at all. Nothing is funny about teasing someone this way especially when life is hard enough as it is.
"Maybe"
The conversation doesn't get any further because Bakugo falls asleep, it was pass his bedtime. Aoyama is left alone and the bad part is he can't sneak off to the bathroom or go back to his room. (not that he really wants to,) He would have to just calm down and deal with it for tonight.
Like he has been doing for the past couple nights anyway..
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I’m going to make a sideblog so i can actually just post these cause i don’t wanna put steamy spice in your ask box ITS GETTING THERE i honestly really did forget what i wanted Aoyama to say to him, promise me you’ll continue to have comments like you did on the other two if i make a side blog put them in the replies or something on the post i live off you reading my stupid little story you and everyone else MAWH lova ya keep being beautiful <3
OMG NOOOO PLEASE YOU'RE SO SWEET AND AMAZING, I hope you caught up on your sleep :((
I'm really sorry for taking so long to reply, I had to work over the weekend and couldn't get into my computer to read properly, but I'm so glad to have something to read today before I have to start studying again!! thank you so much for the effort you put into the story, let's go <33
My poor Bakugo is going through so much and has to deal with love pains on top of everything [and Aoyama is not doing any better it seems
"cause unlike Deku he can keep his feelings out of other people's secrets" he's so sassykdjjkdkdj
"If you were a crazy person like Midoriya you would notice Bakugo stopped cleaning for a millisecond, and started again." professional observant Deku in work mode
wouldn't it be funny if Deku pressed on the issue and Katsuki just exploded blabing everything that's been going onkjjkd
thank god aoyama asked for them to talk, can't handle this awkward phase
and ofc baby you can think whatever you want patpat
HELPLKDLKD okay we don't give a fuck about the canon aspects of his bedroom! his bedroom is close to the roof to US and that's all that matters <3
/his/ blasty boy cries
not the kool aid pleasekdfkjdfjldflj
I'm so sorry but every deku mention makes my bkdk heart skip a beat because yes how can someone other than Deku know him this well, I love how this is the bar for him
if this were ao3 this would be worth of the miscommunication tag, no them going "well I was only avoiding you because you avoided me first!!!"
"He’ll miss this he really will…" not you teasing us with the prospect of heavy angst….
BAKUGO WANTS CUDDLES AND HUGS, BUT NOT JUST ANYONE, HE WANTS AOYAMA IM GONNA EXPLODE
I can totally see bakugo being obsessed with aoyama's waist, yup yup makes sense
THE TEASINGGGGGG OMG, was holding my breath the entire time, so much tension fuckkkkkk
DAMN THIS WAS GOOD, FUCKKSDKJDSKJ I JUSTJJDJKSDLKSDKJ I NEED TO SCREAM
this chapter (we're gonna call it that) felt so much more structured, the way you write really sucks you into the story, it's like we're standing there watching everything!! idk I think u really should publish the story, I'm sure it could reach a lot of people and it's so enjoyable, i just be giggling, screaming and talking to myself the entire time
please do make a sideblog!! i would love to intreact even more for sure!! will make sure to be commenting and freaking out in the tags
i hope you had good days in your life, hope you're doing great, love u <3
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January 23, 2023
Dear Yuan,
Hey! hehe it's been so long, I can't believe i'll be back here again writing letters to you. Uhm what's new? I guess a lot happened and changed during the last months of the year 2022. I know, I kinda forget writing here when things are good and going smoothly. I mean there are times that things doesn't go the way i wanted it to be but I can manage naman.
Hmm, Okay! so tbh the reason why I am here is something got in to me during the start of 2023. I suddenly feel exhausted. I wanted to restart my life. I hate to admit it but studies shows that the exhaustion i feel is also a sign of depression. Yeah, I know here we go again. but I guess it didn't go away, maybe i am just good in hiding it by doing spontaneous things that made me forget about it once in a while but the traumas are still there.
So i'll try to give you some highlights from the last few months,*drum rolls* I met someone. haha! funny because for the past years of building myself and making my walls high enough assuring that no one can hurt me, I gave in. I gave someone a chance to see a little bit of what's behind the surface. I allow myself again to be vulnerable with someone but I was wrong for believing. I was wrong for believing that I can be like what I am to you. Do you think it is wrong to compare what we have to someone else? Hahaha of course it is wrong! but let me explain myself.
I am done with us, I am completely moved on with you. What I was saying is that I want to feel the same way I feel when we were together. I always give my all when it comes to love and I thought that was normal until I realize that not everyone can understand your vulnerability. not everyone can take what you can give and reciprocate it. I know love wasn't supposed to be this hard. Love is supposed to be reassuring, calming, and safe. I wish I can feel that again. but hey! at least give me a plus for allowing myself to try again in love. It didn't work but at least I tried again. I'm hoping that when i tried again next time that would be the last time im gambling for love because next time it will be the right person, the right time and the right love that i deserve! kasi i'm getting tired na with all of these heartbreaks! my heart is too soft to handle all of this as if you didn't know how much of a soft-hearted-cry-baby i am inside this strong independent careless woman they see outside. >.<
which goes to my next update. Remember when you told me "You should ask for help sometimes" "you are always helping everyone but you are afraid to ask for help when you need it" yep I continued living like that which one of the many reason why i am so tired and no will to see or talk to anyone right now. During the first days of the new year i reflected on myself, realize things that made me to have a dopamine detox.
I ghosted everyone. I disappeared from the context. I leave the idea of me being available to everyone. I forgive myself for not having enough time to do the things that I wanted alone, or for being so available that I adjust everything in my schedule to accommodate and please everyone, to fit in. it continues until I don't know who am I or what I want. I've been busy mirroring everyone's personality to the point that I am now in another episode of existential crisis. It's hard, and it is addicting, especially when the time flies so fast and you didn't notice it because you are enjoying and living in the moment. But I need to end it, I am starting again, rediscovering myself is a process, and luckily during these times of being quiet and away from the internet. I find myself doing the things that I used to enjoy before. you know like reading books, journaling or just listening to music or you know how much I like it when I discover underrated songs. I also go back to taking care of myself from physically to mentally and by emotionally and spiritually where getting there.
I really wanted to take things slow right now and give everything a time to develop and grow. Pressure doesn't produce it's best outcome. I wanna enjoy a slow pace growth that I know i will earn in the future.
Whoa! can't believe that i'll be making it this long but yeah it always help me to process things by writing it to you so i can't have all the feelings i have inside be bottled up and will be too much to carry. after I deactivated my FB weeks ago, I also deactivated my Instagram today and deleted tiktok. Yay! for more me time i guess? hahaha Anyways I'll be ending this right here. HCNY pala!! osha gtg naaa!
PS.
after you, i keep on attracting Chinoys na! what's with the pattern Yuan? do you all Chinoys have mommy issues that wants to be cured by someone who has a loving and nurturing energy like me? charot! hahaha okay bye na talaga.
Love,
Gellie
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Hi, im in the process of figuring out a heart condition & I kinda need to vent/ if anyone has advice it would be appreciated?
So idk where to begin and it kinda might be long. Last year i was diagnosed with an arrhythmia and tachycardia. I take 40mg of Propranolol every am and it has helped a lot tbh. I had these palpitation episodes for years but assumed it was due to trauma/my anxiety for a long time. I was also a drug addict due to said issues but as of this past July 5th I am 5 years clean . Unfortunately i know that did its fair share of damage as well. Anyways in the past 5 years ive done a lot of therapy and as i finally became an adjusted member of society one would assume those palpitations would have gotten better but they did not. They increased, were random, without physical exertion or stress. Every time it began the same; my heart would miss a beat, like if you skipped a step going down the stairs, it felt like my heart was being squeezed and i had stabbing pain when I took a breath. Then it would go away after like a min or two. Last year right before i was put on the Propranolol (i had switched primary care doctors and she was concerned with my weight loss and tachycardia) the episodes were happening more and i was starting to notice other symptoms, then I had a really scary episode in September. Now, being an MA/nursing student i realize just how bad it actually was and how idiotic I was for not going to the ER. I was playing a video game with my bf and the episode came on, i tried to ignore it/held my breath except this time it didnt go away. At the time I hadnt graduated my program yet and had all my equipment at home so i grabbed my pulse oximeter. The reading was 140 at first and i was like okay lets try breathing exercises etc. But it jumped to 162 and at this point i was starting to feel numb in my left leg, my fingertips and was getting dizzy. So i was like um ok this is not ignorable any longer and got up to get my mom who is a retired nurse. I could barely get downstairs, i felt sick, dizzy, my limbs were FREEZING but my chest felt on fire and i was sweating. My mom panicked when i showed her my bpm and listen I dont blame her she has a TBI and although shes still very smart it kinda affected her emotional control so it was a mess. I went into self preservation mode and was like i gotta get my bpm down so i took a bunch of benadryl and one of my moms anxiety prns and laid under the fan with my head back and my legs up. Eventually it finally evened out. Next day i went to my dr and she immediately put me on a beta blocker snd did lab work, my lipid profile wasnt great tbh. But the Propranolol helped once we had tweaked it a bit and I didn't experience the episodes for a while. I still have weird symptoms like numbness in my left arm or leg, no appetite, once in a while palpitations but not rhe same intensity they were before. When im hot/stressed ive experienced dizziness/tingling feeling in my head/fingers. Im not really sure what to do moving forward, i know i probably need a cardiologist. Heart disease runs deep iny genes, both my moms parents had cardiovascular issues, and their parents etc. I also had substance abuse issues and ptsd. And the more time i spend in medical field rhe more aware i become. I just feel like its hard for doctors to take me seriously, i do have trauma/psych/substance problems in my file. A few years ago i had a very dismissive dr and although he tried to be sympathetic it made me feel like i was crazy and so i stopped trying to figure out these weird symptoms and told myself it was anxiety/trauma but obviously it got worse and now here we are. I just want to know whats actually wrong not just basicallt being told your heart rhythm is whack and it beats to fast? Im nervous and dont know where to begin/continue. And i just really needed to get it off my chest so thanks for everyone who actually read it through
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