#i need so much therapy
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Me, a severely mentally unstable control freak who would rather do things alone (or not at all) rather than let anyone or anything get in the way and ruin my way of doing them: ha. haha. ahahhhAHhahahahHahah. HahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
*opens up my 173 pages long script and cracks knuckles*
Not on my watch, bitch
#why am i like this#mental instability at its finest#i have so many issues#i swear im not crazy#i need so much therapy#cept im already in therapy#maybe i need more therapy#shiftblr#shifting#shifters#shifting community#shifting memes#stolen from tiktok
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when you have to wake up early the next day so you try to be good and go to bed early only to lay in bed FOR HOURS just trying to will yourself to give in to the sleepy but your mind is like "lol nah let's just stay awake and fret about how little sleep you're going to be getting instead"
#i knew i was doomed but still i tried#only a day late ofc#i was up until 3am the night before#and i finished off my canned coffee at 4pm!!! was not wasting like 2 gulps of coffee worth it???#also doesn't help that i don't want to do what i'm getting up early for tomorrow#even though it's meant to be a fun thing#i need so much therapy#but so much sleep would be a great start#personal posts
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*copies 2000 word post*
*pastes in notes app folder titled 'therapy'*
*deletes 2000 word post*
Decided I might take my next workday off and go to the beach.
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ugh I know tumblr isn’t the best place to go for this but it’s the only place I feel safe enough to share it I need something to lift me up because I am at one of my lowest lows and am so close to ending it. Please I just need something or someone to help me not feel like this right now. Idk say something funny. Or put a google quote on this post. Or. Idk. Give me a stupid reason to not give up. Like spite against someone.
#Fuck#i need so much therapy#But like#i am so close to killing myself#i’m begging you#say something funny#Or idk#some stupid quote you found from google#I just need something
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Am I currently having a panic attack in the bathroom at my brand new government job? Yes.
Did I also just see the single most attractive couple in my life and am switching between wanting to die and wanting them to Eiffel Tower me? Also yes.
These are your tax dollars hard at work everyone
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"Nota para desahogarme"
Estoy tan…
Cansada
Estesada
Muerta
Triste
Frustrada
Sola.
No aguanto mas
Quiero dormir
Pero no dormir unas horas
Quiero dormir para siempre
Me gusta dormir y soñar
Pero es horrible despertar
Es tan frustrante
Y cansador
Solo quiero dormir.
Es lo único que quiero.
Cómo si las bolsas que se arremolinan bajo mis ojos
Se hicieran más grandes y mis párpados sean tan pesados
Solo quiero dormir.
Descansa… y dulces sueños… si es que los tienes…
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I am so not normal with this man I swear.
🛐🛐🛐
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They found each other again ♥
I don't know about you but.... I think that's what happens after Zelda says " I'm home" 😚
#my art#zelink#totk spoilers#legend of zelda#loz fanart#zelda fanart#breath of the wild#zelda#tears of the kingdom#princess zelda#botw#link and zelda#the legend of zelda#link needs a hug#link is so freakin sleep deprived and exausted#they both need a hug#they both need therapy#i love them so much#I have a crush on both of them#zelink fanart
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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part two/?? of flight risk promos!! lol eric does NOT have red hair in the fic but u r welcome for blessing ur dash 🤤😁😩
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Hiii!! Ufff I don't know how to tell you that I love your take on Floyd. like some bad bad life decisions were taken (THAT SO!!! INTERESTING FOR HIM). Do you think he ever feels ashamed of himself when he looks at Branch's eyes, like "shit, this guy really believes in me" or "he doesn't even know everything I have done"? Like he has some really BIG "Love me Less by Max" vibes
They all really believe in his goodness which is worse
And OH he definitely feels so much shame and regret. I think a big part of why he fell as hard as he did was because he finally didn't have to be his brothers' mediator, and I guess at one point he forgot that he still needed to be the voice of reason for himself. His new band mates encouraging his reckless behavior didn't help. Honestly I personally think young Floyd was a very naive kid and very dependent on his older brothers but his strong empathy gave them all the impression that he was much more mature and independent than he really was...
So yeah... you can imagine that constantly partying, doing drugs and sleeping around wears someone down after a few years. I think Floyd also went gray like Branch (not for as long tho) and he broke up with the band wanting to go home badly, but he was also ashamed of showing his face after a number of years as a gray drug addict, so he kind of just ended up alone...
If we're sharing songs, I have to show you this one by Linkin Park because I think Floyd wrote it for Branch (and the rest of his family (and some parts also addressing himself)) while he was at that desperate and lonely period because I am also extremely emo
youtube
#honestly i can see floyd in almost any linkin park song#but i listen to this one on repeat so much#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls floyd#i really dislike how he turned out in those last few panels but oh well#i have other stuff i wanna draw#trolls branch#trolls john dory#brozone#they all need therapy#trolls comic#my art#answered#sorry this took a few days to answer. i drew much more than just this comic but then i picked this one to share#leave out all the rest by linking park#nu metal floyd gives me life#jd's furniture is the ugliest compacts shades of color#his home does NOT breathe#don't mind me just dumping a bunch of my headcanons into this post
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thanksgiving checklist:
•Cleaning frenzy from anxiety
•Multiple concussions
•Disturb the guests with horrid displays
•Mental breakdown
•Psychotic breakdown
•Hallucination
•Painful Sobriety
•Crying
•laundry
•puke at least twice
Uh... Oh! And in a fit of self-loathing, emotional disturbance, and personal inability to empathize well due to a combo of developmental disorders, mental illness, and self esteem issues, I made the comment "Rape Me" when told I need to calm down, and on my way out upon someone going 'What?' I simply stated "ITS HAPPENED BEFORE" while hauling ammonia, bleach, bug spray, 17 washrags and my phone to the bedroom where i proceded to have an asthma attack from chemical fumes. Yes i know i gassed myself. At the time i didn't care and i legitimately did not want my heart to beat.
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Red Robin Writing Prompt
Tim only told Jason that Jason had been cleaning up Gotham the ‘easy way’ is because Tim knows for a fact how easy killing is. He had his first kill before he was even 7 years old.
No one realizes this until Joker makes Tim “choose” between shooting one of two batfam members and Tim just picks up the gun without hesitation and shoots the Joker in just the right spot for it to be fatal but for it to not be an instant death.
Tim turns to Jason, “Like I said: Easy way out.”
#writing prompt#fanfic prompt#writing#fanfic#fanfic idea#fanfic ideas#dc#tim drake#red robin#red robin fanfic#Tim was left alone too much as a child#only reason he realized that killing was bad was from stalking Batman#Tim is not the most mentally well child#I mean it’s practically canon considering how easily he blew up the League of Assassins bases…#Tim needs therapy#in canon and in this writing prompt#so do the rest of the Bats#jason todd
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*tries to organize my thoughts*
*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*
*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*
(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next
#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment#so many innocent bystanders at stake#every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis#racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system#and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description#aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh#(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain#and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students#this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE#...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power#and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class#which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever#it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding#are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it#please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent#mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies#& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground#mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man
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Oh no….I have succumbed to the MLP virus trend….whatever will I do?
Start of our story:
Stress (Prologue, access parts 2 & 3 here): https://www.tumblr.com/findoesstuf/744497236410548224/banana-cream-puddin
Escape (Chapter 1, Part 1 only available): https://www.tumblr.com/findoesstuf/747739858791022592/banana-cream-puddin
#mlp#mlp infection au#mlp art#mlp friendship is magic#twilight sparkle#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#spike#pinkie pie#hhhhhh I can’t do this#I don’t like gore so I just did little injuries on Twi and Rarity#spikes not dead in this one lol#much of the main cast is alive in this one#poor pinkie tho#I like her having fangs and then being friends w spike#probably needs therapy anyway#more to come tho this is all just sheets and concept of what the infection is#coalesce virus
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Am I the only one who actually prefers the Araj confession from Astarion? I see so many people wax poetic about the “nice, simple plan” scene and how much better it is that I want to wax poetic a little about my favourite.
The first time I played BG3, I didn’t know anything about Astarion’s background and I thought he was a jerk. When I first ran into Araj at Moonrise, I was surprised that he wasn’t interested in biting her, but he gave his reasons and I was like, damn, okay, that sucks but I’m not gonna force him to do anything. He said no, so it’s a no. Then I moved on, and genuinely thought nothing of it.
When he hit me with the Araj confession at camp, when he explained how he felt in front of her and how easy it would have been to just grin and bear it and do as he was told, I started crying. Sometimes I struggle to even put into words the emotions it brought up — not the smallest of which was the realisation that I had had more respect for this video game character that I didn’t even like at the time than a lot of people had ever had for me, a real fucking human being.
So I love absolutely everything about that scene, from the writing to the performance to all the different ways it can play out. I know the other confession is more cute and sweet and romantic, but the Araj one held up a mirror to me and genuinely made me confront myself and change how I approach intimacy. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to say about a video game romance scene but here I am saying it.
Because if this fucking rude ass pixel boy (affectionate) can learn to be honest about his needs and limits and have them respected, then so can I, goddamnit. And that will always be so much more profound to me than a nice, simple plan that fell apart.
#maybe I just prefer ugly crying to the cute scene idk#I’ve talked about this before but it just hits me in waves sometimes#the way this game has made me feel so seen and valid for trauma I had written off as character development is wild#it’s so much cheaper than therapy but I probably need to go back to therapy lolol#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#tw: sa
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