#i miss talking to him whenever
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It sucks when you're the fucking therapist friend and hear all about your single friends' struggles with finding the right man for them and they'll come complaining, venting, ranting to me about it but I can't just have a conversation about how much I miss my best fucking friend, my soulmate, my fucking mirror, the person who essentially saved my life. You can love many people in a multitude of ways, and even though our paths split for some time, he'll always be my best friend
#ive tolerated hearing the identical story 18393820 times but i dont feel allowed to talk about someone i miss#ive given the same advice that if followed they wouldnt have fallen into the same trap again and again#ive listened to hours of voice recordings happy mad sad bawling anything#but it makes them uncomfortable to hear my unconditional love for this individual that changed my fucking life#the one person who successfully kicked my ass to get treatment for my addiction#the person who truly saw me and heard me like no other is capable of#not because anyone else is lesser but simply because the connection differs#and no connection will be like that connection i had with him#he would gladly let me call him whilst on holidays because my mentally ill brain wanted to fuck over my life and he would help distract me#he helped make it ok#he was there when others werent or just couldnt#and i miss him so much#i miss talking to him whenever#i miss gaming together#i miss the stories and the nights spent watching movies series or simply me watching him game#i miss the deep conversations#i miss the feeling truly and deeply understood#i miss all the value he brought into my life#i miss him#i miss my best friend#personal
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no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-
#im gonna fucking throw up lancer's relationship with all of the fun gang is literally so important to me#hes gone his whole life surrounded by people but so incredibly alone for a multitude of reasons NONE of which are his fault#every grown ass adult in that castle knew he was suffering but did NOTHING about it#so to see these teenagers (OTHER KIDS) not only take him under their wing and include him whenever possible#but also stand up and say 'NO. no you will NOT get away with that' when his shithead dad abuses him#going so far as to put their own asses on the line for him because they fucking care#and lancer loves them back!!! hes saved the fun gang's asses twice in as many chapters#the first instance being when he did something he's NEVER done before and took up hands against his dad#the affection in his dialogue when he talks about kris and susie and ralsei#calls them all funny nicknames and says that he misses them...#shaking and crying and throwing up and falling down thr stairs and astral projecting#im so so os so so normal about these characters i promise#deltarune
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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I was re-reading the third affiliate arc again
And i just realised Johan is such a teenager?
And he's such an icon for it
#johan just casually talking shit makes me so happy?#just Johan talking makes me happy too#just johan also makes me happy#i miss when Johan had proper dialogues#my serotonin just shoots up whenever i see him having a speech bubble#lookism#lookism webtoon#johan seong#johan#seong yohan#lookism johan#lookism comic#lookism manhwa
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MK: And over here there's the kind of playfulness, which is very typical of the time... so, this is George...
PM: Yeah. With two hats. It would have just been in some costume fitting and stuff, and he's spotted these two silver top hats, so he's decided to put them both on (laughs)... and then with George, he keeps the deadpan expression, which really makes it much better
MK: Much better for the comedy effect
PM: Yeah
#george you little comic you#I love the affection whenever paul talks about george#he clearly misses him a lot#as he says later he'd rather he was here and not in the photos#paul and george#george wears two hats#george harrison#paul mccartney#paul's photos#1964: eyes of the storm#eyes of the storm#audio and transcripts
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Recently the 4th volume of the english Thousand Autumns came out and when I saw Mimo′s design of beloved old fart Guang Lingsan, all I could say was "awooga humina humina humina", so like
#thousand autumns#meng xishi#guang lingsan#千秋#mimo treating us so good#i mean i do wish he actually looked his age. which is yan wushis age. but i guess THIS old fart has to play by wuxia rules. boo#gls staying in his lane. dumping his stupid sect on feng xiao and running. thriving. moisturized.#thats why hes my favourite side character in all of qqpeerlessverse. funniest motherfucker around#i do miss his stupid hat#the idea of him forcing teenage feng-er to wear it too. resplendent#i mean generally speaking id kill to see him dealing with teenage feng-er. can you imagine. how is feng-er still alive#mxs how much money do i have to give you for you to write that extra#like teenage ququs life is a tragedy. teenage feng-ers life is a COMEDY#please just. during the events of qq. whenever gls shows up to do his cackling annoyance schpiel#imagine a sulky teenage feng-er just slightly to the side. going I dont wanna be here Im missing my beauty sleep 🤨🤨🤨🤨#PLEASE I WANNA SEE YWS INTERACT WITH TEENAGE FENG-ER#every time i remember that feng-er is the same age as xiaoyu. incredible.#anyway what was i saying#oh yes please god i wanna see fajing sect shenanigans#am i spoiling peerless for anyone here. is it a big spoiler to talk about feng-er being an og demonic sect person. does anyone care#sorry
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feel like pure shit, just want her back
#james talks#riverdale#miss the whole crew really but Betty especially bc Lili was so magnificent#god as perfect as the finale was (and it really was one of the greatest finales ever) i wish we had gotten another season#they had as good a run as a show on that network could hope for but there are few shows on there that eclipsed the network like Riverdale#like the list includes like. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Gossip Girl. and ig The Vampire Diaries. and that's it.#(that list is for shows almost exclusively produced by the CW. CXG DID have other producing companies but it was largely the CW).#no show will ever quite be like Riverdale ever again and no show will ever reach the heights it did.#especially not on their shoestring CW budget.#like honestly i just need more Riverdale in my life.#like RAS and the writing team found such a great way to turn their weaknesses into strengths.#as an article on the show once said [paraphrased]: it was a great show that was really good at pretending to be bad.#even now nobody gets the show like i do.#everyone thinks it's some silly little show about crazy shit with crazy plotlines and pretty lighting and aesthetics but no substance—#when in reality it's an incredible pulpy anti-fascist text questioning the role of authority using those aesthetics for a larger purpose#but i'll save the real analysis for whenever i get around to actually making the Riverdale video essay i need in my life#unless Quinton Reviews or SuperEyepatchWolf beat me to it first. they're the only people who i think will actually understand the show.#like SuperEyepatchWolf's video on the show is already pretty fun even if it's a little dismissive of the substance of the show—#(tbf to him it only covered up until the S05 mid-season finale and S06 hadn't released yet)#but like he at least feels like he gets the spirit of the show. especially with the wrestling comparison.#and i hope i don't need to explain why Quinton would get it.#anyway. i need the Riverdale crew back.
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my boy only breaks his favorite toys hurts more as a marvey-coded song because. what if i said that when harvey was playing pretend with mike that they could pull off the fraud. that was probably when he was happiest. when i explain that mike took harvey out of his box and stole harvey's tortured heart and left all of harvey's broken parts and told him he's better off. what then!
#caroline talks#suits#no stop walking away. do you understand. do you understand.#on first listen you would think 'oh this is mike thinking about harvey'#but actually no. i argue that this is just harvey thinking about mike.#puzzle pieces in the dead of night and something. something about harvey PLAYING FOR KEEPS--#how for harvey everything is a huge poker game and how he was betting on mike staying.#something about mike running whenever harvey asked him to stay for longer. harvey's abandonment issues. do u understand.#also. 'once i fix me. he's gonna miss me.' and cut to harvey moping for all of season 8#also just like. 'just say when i'll play again HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND DOWN AT THE SANDLOT!!!'#'I FELT MORE WHEN WE PLAYED PRETEND THAN WITH ALL OF THESE KENS!!!' DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!#something about harvey watching mike leave and mike going 'i can't do this anymore' . . .. GOD--
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Reverse Uno Ask Game: {canon} Savitar
Aghhhh how do I talk about him without saying the phrase that hard mode won't let me say...
Ooh I will say this: his scenes in 3x23 with Barry (the Masonville scene, not the last confrontation), Barry & Iris, and then with KF & Cisco...brilliant. Masterful. Savitar was at his peak in those scenes
send a topic (something I like or hate, up to you), and I’ll talk about something I like about it!
#for context: the forbidden phrase is ‘missed potential’#aka that thing i say all the time about savitar 😅#opinion ask game#reverse uno ask game#savitar#the flash#fr tho please send me savitar asks whenever 😅#i do so love talking about him
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maybe i should just be grateful he didnt full on block me everywhere
#but... does it matter when he doesnt even talk to me..#im like mentally and emotionally blocked lol#im trying so hard not to spam him w messages and get myself actually blocked#but i wanna die#i dont understand how he can just .. not care abt me#i really need to get over this but idk how#i need to start accepting that my blog is my ONLY friend#and i need to talk to my blog as i want to talk to a friend#then it wont matter anymore if ppl come and go#bc my blog will always be my best friend#i need toget ober the avpd shame of like damn i posted this and got 0 notes#bc i dont post for notes#in fact the less ppl who follow and see the better bc getting attention is scary#but im like wow if someone sees this theyll think im a loser#but i dont actually care!!!#anyway i wanna send cat pics to someone#and he doesnt wanyt my cat pics anymore#so i should like make a tag on my blog which is my real friend#and share pics of my cat whenever i want#thats good too bc then i can save it as memory on my online diary#^-^!!!#but bc of childhoos neglect i have this compulsive need to share things WITH a person#anyway i need to get over that#im sad bc i miss HIM as a person but also that i could share things w him#but yeah... whatever!!! i should be happy he hasnt blocked me. yet.... :(#and i need to be careful and not give into the urge to message him and be like umm why dont j care i miss u helloooo#bc then he willblock me and yeah i cant dealwith that :((
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finally finished orv after two years . . . what do i do with my life now
#started in junior year hs dropped it for a while then started reading again at the start of this semester and now im finally done !#dont know whether to cheer or just crumple up and start crying bc wow that was a ride#i thought the ending was tragic but then i moved on to the epilogue and oh my godd#the way kdj was crying and miserable bc he missed his companions and he wanted to be with them so Badly#but when kimcom finally Finally chase him down and come back to him theyre too late and hes already disspitated into other world lines#and after that like. whenever kdj pulls some shit and dies the next chapter always starts with an ‘i’#and hes back and alive and kicking and Thinking but after that epilogue chapter there isnt a chapter in his pov theres no more ‘i’s and.#it just made me incredibly sad bc we dont get to see his pov ever again bc hes truly gone unless we as a reader can imagine him alive again#anyways sad things aside it is Incredibly funny that lee hyunsung just became a wanted man in the 1865th round lmaoo#+ uriel sun wukong and black flame dragon forming a band together ??? truly the most randomest thing in the epilogue#++ yoohankim need to stop beating the shit out of e/o and learn to talk their feelings out Please#+++ sooyoung’s love for dokja has me miserable o-|-< she would wait for him an eternity write for him an eternity im so sad#three times she endlessly wrote a novel for him to read three times she waited to see him for so long <//3#you bet im imagining the happiest conclusion i can for them#they WILL live happily ever after in that big house together as long as i have something to say about it!#orv
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#⊹ ˚✦ . 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓪𝓻𝓭 𝓭𝓪 𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓵 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼 .ᐟ#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#bladie cameo ?? (⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)#it was so nice seeing this softer . . more domestic side to him ♡ . .#n i loved seeing firefly be more open n playful n teasing here aah#he wz talking so sweetly w firefly 🥺 . . . ‘ i hope u find whatever u seek there ‘#oooohhhhh ! ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა#kept swooning whenever he spoke uwwuaauugh . . . i have missed him much more than i thought i did it seems . . ♡
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i sat and read every post on ur aaron tag since i love him sm and i js love ur posts abt him sm too like i js wanna hold both ur cheeks in my hands and violently shake ur head and watch as everything aaron spills out from it
like idk i js wanna dissect ur brain and study it
maybe add it to next to aarons on my shelf
im blushing and smiling and squealing and kicking my feet and kissing you and SO honored to have my dissected brain on a shelf next to my boy
I have said and will say this about all of them but he truly is so special to me like hes just always hanging out in my brain genuinely who is doing it like him that's literally my brother my bestie if Aaron minyard has one fan it's me if he has zero fans that means I'm no longer here etc etc you feel
#feel free to pick my brain about him WHENEVER like I miss talking about these kids I miss them so much#this was such a delight to receive <3
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zhao and ik get nightbrought and lucifer goes NUTS on simon istg. he gets so angry that he’d have created a second satan until mammon (somehow) calms him down and reminds him to think rationally.
(he gets all emotional holding ik’s little sweater that he had just finished ironing earlier that day)
without mammon they'd have to straight up sedate him somehow, because losing his adopted teen is awful enough in the jtta timeline - but losing both his husband AND their small daughter in ddvd is a hair's breadth from breaking him entirely, especially given there's literally nothing he can do about it
it'd take a good week for him to fully calm down from having gone absolutely crazy, and after that he's just Sad. when they decide that solomon will have to go get him alone, he gets it, but he is SO pissed off nevertheless. fully tells solomon that if he's not bringing his family back in one piece, he shouldn't bother coming back at all
also i just had a thought (not directly related but)... what if zhao's wedding ring was the ring of light..... the absolute Implications when past lucifer sees it. sure zhao can lie, but i feel like lucifer absolutely wouldn't be fooled by that
#answering asks#anon asks#i did briefly talk about a ddvd version of nightbringer a while back#but i've since thought it over and i think lucifer would be even more sopping wet miserable about it than i originally conceived#once the anger and/panic has worn off he is just so so sad#you know that snapcube clip that goes '[long sigh]. i miss my wife tails. i miss her a lot'#that's him whenever anyone asks him how he's doing#not out loud.... but you can see it in his eyes#everyone else is also devastated of course but he takes it the absolute hardest by a LONG shot#poor guy#dad in the devildom#jtta aus#zhaolu
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Government mandated masato posting time
#snap chats#in new york waitin to meet up with my dad so i have to spend my time wisely of course#//insert microwave noises//#i dont even have any concrete thoughts other than whenever he’s dying on the floor he’s at his most attractive#because hes demented in both instances like no one look at me hang on#NO CAUSE THE FIRST TIME hes so fucking stupid HES IN THE WORST SITUATION IMAGINABLE#AND HES STILL TAUNTING AND SPITTING ON SUZUMORI LIKE ????? the actual audacity#and the fuckin second time its right after getting his shit rocked and he STILL got The Audacity to be on that nihilism bullshit to ichi#ITS SO FUNNY NO DIE i love the ending scenes so much ….#like the thinnly-veiled rage from ichi as aoki talks about people being tools … its my everything .. anD AOKI SCUTTLING BACK ONCE ICHI YELLS#im gonna throw up brb this was supposed to be a thirst post but now im just emo about y7 again WHY DO THEY HAVE BLACK HEART EMOJI FOR EMO#DIE whatevr. anyway i miss masato …. i miss him being a prick cause it was kinda hot tbh like whats wrong with you.#ill be normal about him one day i promise but for now#//the rest of this post has been redacted//
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I should fucking kill myself
#I have this anger and dislike towards my little brother that’s totally unwarranted like he’s 10 it’s just my issues#n whenever I feel his hatred towards him I want to gut myself like#it’s not his fault that my moms a better mom for him n that he’s not scared of her#It’s not his fault that my dads sober and present for him#it’s not his fault that my older brother is a good brother to him n has never hurt him#it’s not his fault he’s not scared of telling someone he’s hurt or of getting food#it’s not his fault he parrots all of my parents insane conservative views#but I still hold so much anger and resentment#When I look at him I see him getting all the things I never got and being free of the traumas I went through#and I know it’s good and I’m happy he’s grown up in a safer environment but I’m so angry that I didn’t have those parents#and I know he’s also missing so many things I got#But it fucking hurts seeing how loved and safe he is and wishing I had been that innocent at that age#like when he’s fighting with my mom it’s over school work n video games n then he thinks he can talk shit ???#when I was fighting with my mom it was bc she came home from work in a rage#when I was mad at my dad it was because he got drunk n came home n yelled at my mom until she was crying in a corner then left#When I was screaming at my older brother it’s because I was tired of him hurting me not because he called me a name#I’m a horrible sister to him and I hate it because when he was a baby I was so fiercely protective of him and so happy to be his sister#I watched his shows with him and kept him entertained when my parents got bad n I promised myself I’d take care of him the way I never was#but I failed n now I can barely stand being around him#like I’m such a good sister to my sister but that’s it#n it makes me feel worse about my relationship w my brother bc I know I can be better but I’m just a horrible jealous bitch who should die#screaming
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