maybe i should just be grateful he didnt full on block me everywhere

Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

📓🐰🖊️💭

are there any other historical figures you like I'm intrigued 👀

Okay buckle in, somehow this post will be weirder than any of my f1 stuff bcs for some reason I'm very intense about historical figures, I think I just have a tendency to treat them like blorbos

Mostly I'm endeared to powerful figures, idk why, it's the way it is. Okay so obviously you already know I like Napoleon(and Wellington to an extent), that really doesn't need to be emphasized anymore

Since being in Austria, I feel super endeared to Maria Theresa. She just seemed like such a boss! I think she's just really cool. Her father changed the plan of succession so she'd become Empress(rather than her cousins), but immediately upon taking power, she was immediately embroiled in war over her being the new ruler(everyone who had signed the treaty of succession suddeny reversed) But she defended her rule of the Habsburg monarchy! I think the coolest part about her is that her husband, who married into the Habsburgs, was supposed to be in charge, but she wouldn't let him be involved at all practically and was the de facto ruler of the Holy Roman Empire for like 20 years. She had 16 children and was basically constantly pregnant and having kids while involved in war, yet still held power and guided Austro-Hungary through it all 🥹 I think it's very funny also that she was laying out so many reforms, guiding the country basically just herself, and still found time to write letters to all their kids and be an overbearing mother. Also she was Marie Antoinette's mother?? I'm still shocked by how many important kids she had. If you've been to any part of the former Austro-Hungarian(+ Bohemian) Empire, she really left her mark, there's soooo much stuff named after her. The statue of her in between the Kunsthistorisches and the Natural History Museum in Vienna is really cool, and that she has a whole Platz named after her with her giant statue!!! I think it's just really admirable that a woman at that period of time had so much power and ruled so efficiently. (MY god sorry I wrote so much)

Okay now I'll try to refrain from the historical rambles, I also like: Julius Caeser(cliche sorry I know), Dmitri Shostakovich(my favorite composer ever), Pyotr Tchaikovsky(pls read about his sugar mommy patron), Erwin Rommel(I like his nickname: The Desert Fox), J.C. Leyendecker(favorite artist, I am obsessed with his work), Alphonse Mucha, Calvin Coolidge(not the best president by far but the anecdotes about his social awkwardness and quietness are hilarious to me), Ernst Gideon von Laudon(not completely insane about him, but it's like with the Napoleon Crossing the Alps painting, I saw a painting and bust of him and now feel weirdly endeared.) And then there's probably some others I can't recall atm because it's 3 am

I think my top three though are Napoleon, Julius Caesar and Maria Theresa. They're all just very: "Catie saw a painting/statue and is now very weird about it." And then being in the vicinity of so much history made it 1000x worse. Things I saw in Vienna that made me go "oh my god it's blorbo from my history book": Napoleon Crossing The Alps painting(I seriously sat in that room for probably 20 mins just staring at it, I didn't want to leave) + some other various Napoleon artifacts in the Heeresgesichtliche, a very nice bust of Julius Caesar, and literally the entirety of Vienna had Maria Theresa everywhere

this shouldnt really be relevant to anyone following this blog up until now lmao, but that post i rb-ed on main made me remember that, now that i have a dedicated space for mature posts, this blog is no longer mdni. my main is still 18+ just because it's my catch-all blog for all types of posts, as is my art blog bc i'll occasionally post haha funnie adult humor + i want to retain the option to post some suggestive art if i ever feel like it, but at least here things can be more chill ✌🏻

well apparently angst is in the air today and it bit me too so

i've always examined vince vs jay from his own perspective but what do pule and verica even think.

edit post-writing this: oh this is a hot pile of half-formatted brain vomit. click the read more at your own risk. my goal was to get my thoughts straight, and i did, and now this is a mess and i'm not fucking fixing it

pule did his grieving while he was still human, i think. he never did expect to see jay again, but once he remembers the worst period of his fucking life while sitting next to the two (well, 1.9) people who notable weren't there for it, it's... well, a shock is putting it lightly, i imagine. they know his name, they have the right vibes that, despite the fact he'd never felt them as human like he could now as a warframe with transference, just fit - mostly. not all of it is correct, but enough is, and the second he manages to ask if it's jay, he gets swiftly but gently corrected, that, well, yes, but also it's vince now.

once he finds out Why it's vince now, pule struggles hard with being confronted with the walking, breathing truth of accidentally getting his best friend actually killed for a while still. part of the grieving process gets reset entirely, and as friend fashion show has pointed out so excellently, it does do pule a lot of good to hang out a lot with others (bruiser, notably) that he doesn't have a painful shared past with. the threads he dropped with jay are easy to pick back up with vince, though: sharing old jokes and making new ones referencing stuff only they know, ways of thinking that are still almost identical after years of close friendship, etc. they grew together for a significant formative period of their lives, and that still affects just how suited to be each other's friend they are.

verica has a more complex headspace around this. she actively searched for him, knowing that he hadn't died but instead had become a warframe, even though he stopped pinging on the orokin radars even before she got apprehended and warframe'd herself. there's such a huge chance that he's dead, but dammit, if anyone can do the impossible, it should be the mathematician who'd managed to put a pencil into a pocket dimension between solid reality & the poisonous void. and she's... partially right.

when she wakes up on kelth's orbiter, she's going to think the idiot before her is jay. he'd done it, he'd managed to come back from the dead, and found her scattered clues. and, well, we know it isn't really jay anymore. he doesn't even confess the whole thing, at first - he just says, well, i go by vince now. and she rolls with it completely because why wouldn't she. it's only when the cracks start to show, both in his behaviour and in one certain scene between the three of them that i'm sure i'll die two and a half times while writing before i'll get it just right, that she actually realises that Nope, Not Jay. Not Like That Anymore.

she struggles with even just accepting it in her head, at first - he's so much like jay, pinging Correct in so many little ways, but he's Not, calling him by that name hurts him, and thinking of him as jay is wrong for the person vince is now. she goes through the period of grief she hadn't allowed herself even before everything.

and now, all three of them are in the same space, grieving the shit that happened to them, that one of them had to die, but at least they now have each other again. for reasons mentioned before, bonds with vince are built up extremely fast, and they quickly get to the same level of friendship they were at with jay. they go beyond, even - vince needs them more than jay did, even if he might not want to phrase it like that to not force them into anything, but they respond to it in kind. one of the consequences of the way warframes are fundamentally changed, made more rigid and less flexible, from humans in my lore makes it so that they will seek out familiarity at ridiculous costs. removing the memories from fresh frames was a fix for that by the orokin, but you can't just make something Rigid/Inflexible, apply a Change, and expect it to not eventually pop back into its original shape like memory foam.

pule & verica is also an interesting initial dynamic, i think. pule feels guilty for, well, everything - he's still under the impression that he'd gotten ghosted for life, and the fact that the warframe he'd been glaring at from the corner of his eyes, the one that had looked way too much like the recently-vanished artist octavia to be anything like a respectful tribute, had actually been her all along and he hadn't even bothered to look into it- he does struggle with it. of her own part, verica's shocked to see him at all, didn't realise that he'd whole ass up and volunteer for the program if she also disappeared, didn't realise that sitting down and letting herself grieve with him had also been an option. i imagine she does also initially carry some guilt over this, though she gets over hers significantly faster than pule does, both because it's just Less Significant Levels of Guilt & because she's just way more prone to Alright Oops Let's Move On than he is (hi. musician who's been in public about it here. making mistakes & moving on like nothing happened is a Necessary & Learned Skill. show must go on & all that)

i think pule would initially expect her to be hostile towards him, after he gets over the shock of "holy shit you're a warframe too? holy shit you're That Warframe? i was never ghosted on purpose??". but 1. even if she did have the right to get hostile, which she knows she doesn't, it wouldn't do anything, and 2. buddy friend we're still here after everything why would i be mad about getting this second chance at life. i've already lost my other friends and family and everything from that life, just let me hang on to you and this other idiot with all the strength left in me.

anyway, that's how the three of them become inseparable on an almost-physical level. a true triad. they get a shared bedroom and sleep together in a pile and everything. you'll find out

having a full time job is rlly just looking forward to the pto you've managed to book off despite knowing it is gonna pass in the blink of an eye: aka i have a three day weekend for the first time this year! 🎉

Surprise! New furby arrived today! She got here really fast wow

Kiwi Gizmo already loves her! Jamboree Art Supplies is still in my lil furby hospital ...

In fact, this lil lady will be donating her voice to Art Supplies. Her name is Fountain Mist Aesthetic Blog, becuase her favourite color (and the color of her fur) is called Fountain Mist. I hope to be done with the voice transfer operation by this weekend, so that full introductions can be made! For now, Aesthetic Blog is getting settled in her new home! She is a bit tired from her journey and needs a bath 😌🧼

.

Bro tell me why I didn’t know there was tea at my work. I’ve been there for like 2 months. Didn’t know we had tea. Only knew we had tea because someone brought up that we have tea and that single comment changed my entire course of every day from here on out. I have tea at work now

okay sorry ill stop making posts soon but I hate when dms think their players are stupid for not picking up on things

🙃

(( waaah, why do i have such amazing friends? 😔 the last two days i was hanging out with some, and they went: “oh i got you something!” and then just randomly pull out a gift?! like whaaaaat, whyyy. “oh i was at this place the other day and saw this and thought of you so i got it for ya!” and then today i basically received a long heartfelt love letter from sam?! i’m definitely spoiled. sam always spoil me too. 😫

anyway, i’d also like to thank everyone here who makes an active effort to interact and continues to contribute to a positive environment. i know that reading about an oc might not be perceived as interesting, but i appreciate the few interactions i have regardless, and thank you for letting me write with and for you!

i also know that sometimes i act entitled, or like a brat or whatever, and it’s really my way of saying: “i feel comfortable with you,” so it basically means i’m happy to be here. i love to see people be kind to each other, and sometimes i actually get jealous, because i want to be a part of it, but then i just smile… because i remember that i’m just human, and isn’t jealousy truly one of the most human feelings to ever exist?

also, i want to share part of what i wrote this back to sam: the feeling of friendship (or any other bond i guess) is very much real regardless of whether it's someone you've met through the internet or not! a professor of mine conducted studies about online friendships specifically, and the results were exactly that the bonds or feelings aren't much more different than those experienced with friends you made irl, so no your feelings are not lame at all. ))

sorry sam, i just thought this part was so beautifully written for some reason.

Hey guys. gay rights

Brother questioned me a bunch while eating today and it's safe to say he just proved the reason why I don't have that many close connections irl ✌️