to my obey me people ... part two of that 200 free wishes dropped today alongside ur cards of every character 🥹

i got solomon for free today so I'm wishing you all luck!

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 ?

the inability to see the good in yourself, therefore relying on others to provide it for you.

your heart is so full for the people you love. it's sweet, but you've now forgotten how to care for yourself. you only seem to see great things in the people around you. they're wonderful, and you... you don't like what you're seeing in yourself, right? you need to be reminded that you're enough. that you're talented. that you're worthy. that's partly the reason why you reach out so much. you need to hear it from the lips of someone "better" than you. but afterwards, it makes you feel even more guilty and upset. you feel like your actions are self absorbed. you're aiming for perfection because you see it in others. you're failing to see the flaws in everyone else. i promise, you're no monster. i could say this again and again, but will you believe me when i say you need to find it out for yourself?

tagged by: a mutual a very long time ago! (sorry for forgetting but thank you for tagging me all the same!) tagging: anyone who ate something sweet today!

i think my muses should be allowed to be protective of yours, as a treat.

this is only part 1 of two and they will be offering 100 more ... this is a f2p respect move.

oh btw. if anyone is like me and is a lowkey ob.ey me player ... for the devil day anni they're running 10 free wishes on their devil day banner every 24 hours until you've reached 100 wishes (+ get a voucher for a ur+ card of your choice). it runs out 3rd may.

oh btw. if anyone is like me and is a lowkey ob.ey me player ... for the devil day anni they're running 10 free wishes on their devil day banner every 24 hours until you've reached 100 wishes (+ get a voucher for a ur+ card of your choice). it runs out 3rd may.

dropping an unmistakeable inbox/meme call here. specify muse or run the risk of me giving you a completely random character you might have no clue about!

i missed munday by two days (blame easter) but genuine mun to mun question here: what is one thing you, as a writer, love about your writing/portrayal/threads?

lucifer

all fun and laughter aside, this is honestly one of the best april fools tumblr has come up with, and is something that has really helped my own personal confidence in realising just how many people are pretty much interested in interacting with their mutuals, we're all just very tired and sometimes words / thoughts mean we go radio silence but that doesn't change a single thing.

oh, you can boop people now.

           it's a startling sensation, to miss the very being that has been reborn right before his eyes, a woman sharing the same face to a corpse as the world carries on around them regardless, opinions spoken as if brought back from a previous time and each identity blurring into one, each sentience a nostalgic pang towards the demon pride's own heart, echoing between his worn bones despite the picture of indifference he tries to make. shallow is a cheap descriptor of his love, yet it hurts more to recall what it once was ━━ more than the coquettish tone and the way such a pet name slips from her own daring lips despite the way he wishes he could convince himself to not be so naive, that the use of something she has called him many times both breathless and with awe is merely a result of her personality above all else, but the mourner in him wishes to think that perhaps, deep down, her words remain the prompt of a life she has come to remember in his presence.

distantly, he wonders if any of his brothers have felt the same, hearing words so reminiscent of a morgue of a girl they have long since ventured to let go.

low breath in, an even longer exhale; nostalgia will be what he blames as his lips are quick to curl upwards, something akin to mirth sparkling in the forefront of his irises as she continues to tease; her curiosity is as damning as it is relieving, an anchor that keeps him closer with every stray thought that escapes the tinkering of her mind. as much as he has tried to dig his feet in to send her away, to ensure her safety within this house's very own walls and blissfully unattached to the souls who have brought her demise quicker than they can say, he is not above admitting to his own selfishness ━━ he is rather grateful to see that smile directed towards him for just one more time.

❛  was it my mistake to doubt you? insanity is what they call it, when someone continues to do the same thing over and over and expects a different result every time. ❜ he folds his arms, though not unkindly, spine straight, still, as his gaze still rests heavily upon her now quizzical features rather than the space around her he wishes to seek. ❛  i'd recommend you remember what happened before acting surprise at such a sudden change. would any man be expected to stay the same, if the woman he loved passed away in his very own arms? ❜

bringing up such an elephant in the room strikes a chord within him, reminder sudden but apparent in the way he can't help but turn away briefly, a clearing of his throat in response; with minimal exception does he recall the hand of his arm becoming one enveloped with his own, the hallways and corridors reflected with their laughter once more, and he knows he looses his argument, the moment he slips to allow her space to come closer, but it does not mean he is willing to part with such grief, at least, towards someone who no doubt deserves better than to be trapped in the same chances, a lamb to a slaughter she is uncertain of ever taking place. his expression attempts to soften, scowl shifting to a frown as he pushes such doubts aside for the moment being in favour of hearing her own twists to the tale.

❛  doesn't such an ending spell out bad news for you? if you could not understand us then, who is to say we'll get it right now?  ❜ he offers following another pause in turn, considering such points in turn ( puzzle? ━━ he has spent countless times being referred to as confusing, but never so predictable in the same breath. )   ❛  who is to say i didn't trick you in the first place? that this life was a gift to absolve you of all those previous mistakes? demonkind has never been one for the faint hearted, a fact you should know well.   ❜ / @redemptioninterlude cont'd!

           part of him has never wished for her to be this open,        teasing in one breath yet strikingly vulnerable in the next, truth unspooling alongside the glimmering threads of her hair and where he would once have found it rather amusing, the sort of helpless plight that would leave him laughing for a week straight, he finds himself feeling just all the more exposed staring face to face. despite how frequent such an situation may seem it remains merely one soul who manages to counter him in every step, to leave him as exposed despite the air of arrogance, defense he chooses to enamour himself with every single day. ‘ i want to be with you ‘, she reminds him, lips still pouted from the moment he had taken her last breath away, eyes sparkling, searching, for the weakness he is certain she wishes to batter if not break; the lovestruck protagonist caught in the her very own confession scene, he can tell, brought to life if not from pages then from his wistfulness, for his greed. ‘ that is what i think you’ve yearned for ‘ she offers and manages to counter all the same, forcing their positions upfront, outright in place. the blushing maiden becomes the dauntless saviour, palms holding onto the villains own as though she is unaware of his wishes to devour her in turn, the sole damsel no longer in distress because she knows they’ve gone too far, lest it’s far too late.

but a confession isn’t exactly what such a scene is all about and even he knows better than to just assume that. 

it’s an uncanny stalemate, he reminds himself. alice views him as human, views the stone in his chest as something warm and beating; ayato knows such mortality is no better than weakness, that brick and mortar built in his chest is no difference to a ticking time bomb against his ribcage. this, then, is just another reference towards it. caught between the loneliness of the moon and the downward curve of her lips, throat that stirs a feeling in his chest beyond the hunger that he is so very used to and maybe if he were a selfless soul he would call it enough,  understand his role in a tale he no doubt has already bent too far beyond it’s spine, a detour to the ending he supposes even he recognises coming up so soon but against alice ... he can tell he wants more. has always found himself yearning for something beyond the push and pull he has put them both through these past few months.

and the basis of alice’s words reminds him that he can want it,  that there is a difference between once lust and what he yearns for  and that is what brings him back to the now, here, where they stand and the world turns, her fingers spurned into the wrinkles of his shirt with the anchor of a kite too delicate in the storms they’ve no doubt both learned to call home and ayato is clinging back with the grief of a boy who has long since hardened himself from the warning of his should have been mothers curse, eyes round and mouth curled, hands shifting to run his thumbs over the tips of her cheekbones as it stuck in the denial of how real she actually is to not leave in this very frame. it would have been easier for them both, if he hadn’t forced her to play in the first place. a thought he’s considered no doubt countless times before, though it comes with no willingness to act through on at it, either;  it’s a fact, considering where her frustrations with him lie, but that has never meant he’s wished it to play out another way. for all the times he’s made her bleed, cry, alice has always remained ... special. to him, to them in general. and despite everything else it remains triumphant enough to counter every argument that lingers in the corner of his smile and down his throat. 

❛  the hell d’ya mean, bold?  ❜  he brings himself out of it, his harrowing stupor to press their foreheads together,  eyes baring widely, emotionally,  in a way he hopes the shadows will cover the mist that pools at the bottom of his gaze. not in a way he imagines she’ll completely mind to see it, but ... this is an unfamiliar situation, will and emotion never fully expressed around another familiar soul and as much as alice pleads with him to be true does he have to bury the thoughts of his mother in the corner of his eye, her own pleas to be the only one towards her own man fuelling a dependency to destroy all that he has helped her create, his own sanity merely one of them. alice has never held the same anger however and so he convinces himself it’s safe to continue, a shaky breath the mere interlude to confirm it’s okay. 

  ❛  ━ i could be your damn dog if i wanted to!  ❜   breathless, tone above a whisper but not quite short of breathless, trembling with emotion. he can’t bring himself to allow his apologies to shine through, because he doesn’t know how too, but it wracks through him regardless, the familiar grief that has his head running with a sudden, thrumming static.  he chokes out a laugh, dauntless. maybe he shouldn’t sound so angry, for one. but then again he doesn’t really know how to express it in a way that doesn’t bleed into rage, and if alice wills him to make this so uncomplicated for the both of them, well ... 

  ❛  cat or mouse, master and pet ... i could’ve been them all, ‘cause that’s what i know how to be. how i’ve learned to be. guys like me ain’t supposed to love without bein’ someones full attention, whether that’d be through stealing or scheming or something worse━   ❜  pause, another rocky breath. his hands slip down to grip on her shoulders instead.  ❛  to see you give your attention to another guy, that sort of thing pisses me off. how is that love when you’re makin’ it a competition? threatenin’ to give someone else the kisses i want to take from you, it’s enough to drive me insane ...  ❜  is that loving? he knows it’s not. doesn’t have much of an idea, truly, mouth partially running with whatever rests on his mind and partially just, choosing to explain only half the picture he feels more comfortable to admit, and it would help if he could just affirm the facts she has stated but he sort of, isn’t sure whether he should admit it. wants her to know he loves her, also wants her to still have to chase for it, can’t really see the option to have both at the same time and ultimately he settles for sprinklings of the truth because it’s relieving. incredibly relieving, actually. so that’s what he settles for. 

he presses his lips up against her own indefinitely once more, pulls apart only when a tear threatens to spill on her cheek in turn. there’s a wound somewhere, deep down, that alice has managed to split open and both of them are now so incredibly aware of it he hopes it doesn’t spill further because, strikingly, he’s unsure just how much further he can take it, torn between what he wants the reality of just how much he’s destroyed to compensate for it from the girl now stands before him / the girl he wishes to press his lips into again and again. 

because that is the easiest way for him to express his emotions to her, ayato knows, almost admitting out loud but it’s a secret he’ll no doubt wonder whether to take to a metaphorical grave. 

 ❛  how can you, out of anyone, tell it so easily, then?  ❜  teasing, but not quite so. his gentle attempt at lightheartedness thrown against the shattering break of his defences.   ❛  am i that easy to read, at the end of the day?  ❜ / @redemptioninterlude cont'd!

tumblr still lets you write in the old formatter somehow.

a family who loves you

working on my carrd and copying my rules from my shipping section has completely baffled me so i am clearing up some points which i wanted to ensure made sense + just a little extra before i forget ...

as stated, i run my ships on a ship - exclusivity basis in the sense of, for canon muses, i only ship my muse with one version of a canon character, and that you return that notion. for eg, if i was to write muse a and you were to write muse b, i'd only ship with your version with muse b and you would only ship with my version of muse a. to extend this, because it was something that came to my mind, i also do this for if i write the other canon character on my muse roster. so in this example, if i also wrote muse b, i would not write with a different persons muse a because ... it simply wouldn't feel right to me. compared to the first part, it's not something i'd ask for my partners to do, but it's more of just personal preference! these versions of ships i have developed mean a lot to me and are pretty intertwined with my muses outlooks, so i wouldn't feel comfortable exploring the other way around in this instance.

i also do single ship, should you prefer to go down that route, all i need is a notification from you and/or for us to have a discussion about it! in terms of mains / exclusives / single ship muses - you can check them out on each characters pages on my desktop theme, i'll be implementing them into my current carr.d too.

a general thing i wanted to add but, as someone who is literally writing in a romance fronted industry, i am ... very hesitant(?) when it comes to ships. i love the dynamics i have, but with the rules i have above, i think its more than important to let people know that i am a slow replier, not as in just a few months slow, as in i have asks / drafts from 2021 onwards that i keep that i wish to reply to in a time frame, somehow. i also have tumblr open on two devices for both my blogs the majority of the time, so i am awful at having messages open without me even realising it or simply going silent because im focusing on writing; i am aware this doesn't make me the ideal shipping partner, or even writing partner in some instances! but i appreciate everyone who has been willing to explore and is shipping with me currently despite this. you guys rock and i will always try my best to make it up to you by whatever i write in responce - it's why you guys genuinely get the longest replies of all!

i say it time and time again, but you are also more than welcome to tell me if you have had enough or do not see the chemistry anymore, i just ask you do it before you go ahead and explore a romantic dynamic with another duplicate rather than after doing so!

Happy Birthday + Nyan Nyan Nyan Day~

brought a new keyboard for my laptop. we are SO back.