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etoiile · 4 months

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THINGS THEY SAY BEFORE KISSING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME

starring itoshi sae, mikage reo, and isagi yoichi!

a request from an anon! (x fem!reader, as per requested)

notes: ANON IM SO SORRY THIS HAS BEEN DONE FOR FOREVER I JS FORGOT TO POST IT AHHH ✧ um my favoritism is showing itself in length.. ✧ BYE I HAD TO MAKE A HS MUSICAL REFERENCE AT THE END LOLL

ITOSHI SAE "you talk too much."

you had somehow snuck sae into your house underneath the noses of your incredibly strict parents. it was a full moon that night, and you two sat on your bed as you talked about everything under the sun, and he simply listened intently.

you were talking about something funny that had happened in class that day when suddenly, sae heard footsteps coming up the stairs. of course, you didn't hear it over the sound of your own voice, but sae, ever the observant one, picked up on it immediately.

"y/n. shut up!" he whisper yelled, worried your parents would hear you talking and come to check on you.

"hang on," you replied, still completely unaware of your potential doom. "im getting to the good part. and so then, the teacher gets up and-"

the footsteps were getting closer and sae is starting to panic. this is not how he wanted to meet your parents.

"y/n! quiet!" he hushed urgently, trying to get you to quiet down.

"hold on, sae. he then LOOKED HIM RIGHT IN THE EYE AND PROCEEDED TO-"

growing desperate now, sae suddenly came up with an idea.

he leaned in closer to you, and you instantly stopped talking, your voice dying in your throat. your face burned at the intense proximity and you were nervously staring back into his bold teal eyes, not really knowing what was going on.

"...sae?" you squeaked, your voice small.

sae brushes your hair out of your face tenderly before gently gripping your waist.

"you talk too much."

he then quickly pressed his lips to yours, his other hand finding place at the crook of your neck. you kissed him back instantly, throwing your hands into his pinkish hair.

sae's kiss is tender and extremely loving. he's not a man of many words; he says everything he needs to with his actions. and at that moment, as he deepened the kiss and rubbed his hands up and down your back soothingly, you could hear him saying, "i love you."

when he pulled away, there was a whole storm of butterflies in your stomach, and you were a little breathless.

"what... was that?" you panted, a little winded.

he simply chuckled and pulled you into his chest.

"you're so stupid."

"...?"

":)"

(he's the stupid one, really.)

MIKAGE REO "i love you."

reo has had plenty of experiences with girls who merely wanted him for his fame and money. he would take them out for dinner at an expensive restaurant, and they'd be all nice and sweet, but then he'd take them out for a heartfelt, well thought-out date, and they'd be cold and distant. it broke his heart, and he would constantly wonder if he'd ever be able to find someone who loved him for him. he wondered that if he didn't have his fame and wealth, would he have ever been able to find someone who wanted him?

you had been going out with reo for around two months now, and everything was going great. reo was great. he was kind, caring, charismatic, funny, charming, and overall a great guy. you two had met through a mutual friend and hit it off really well. reo had taken you out to some nice restaurants, and you'd also hung out at each other's places, and he found himself really, really liking you.

reo had to admit that he was scared. you seemed like such a great girl, and he feared that you might be just like the rest. just like the girls who had used him, who had welcomed him in and then crushed his heart, who he had truly believed liked him for him, but it didn't end up being true in the end. he knew that he gave his heart to people too easily, but he still did it each and every time. at the end of it, all he could do was hope for the best.

reo took a deep breath as he stood outside your door. he had prepared a heartfelt picnic date for the two of you, and he could feel his hands getting all clammy as he knocked a few times.

you stepped out and reo's voice got stuck in his throat. you looked stunning. you were wearing a simple white beachy dress, your hair blown out and your makeup done cute. it wasn't as extravagant or bold as some of the other looks reo had seen you in, but the first thought that came to his head was still "beautiful."

he quickly cleared his throat and regained his composure. "gorgeous as always, y/n." he grinned, still taking you in.

you giggled. "i hope so. 'surprise' is hard to dress for, reo."

"you look perfect." he chuckled in response.

reo's heart was racing as he began walking you to the picnic location where he had set everything up. he had spent over an hour laying everything out and making sure it looked perfect, and don't even get him started on the time it took to prepare everything in advance. this would be the first time he'd ever done something so heartfelt and homemade for you, and he had to admit that the thought that maybe you would turn your nose up in disgust like everyone else crossed his mind.

once you arrived, reo let out a shaky little ta-da as he nervously watched for your reaction. when you at first had none, he felt his heart dropping at the thought that he was right. you were like everyone else. you hated it and you were going to leave him.

that thought was only magnified when you started crying. reo began panicking, wondering how bad he could've messed up to make you cry. his panic quickly turned to shock and relief, though.

"this is... perfect, reo. i love it. it's beautiful. this must have taken you forever." you turned to face him. "i am so, so lucky to have you. thank you."

reo felt a wave of relief and also adrenaline wash over him as he engulfed you in a tight hug. as he held you in his arms, he knew what he was feeling right now was more than just liking you.

he gently held your face in his hands as he gazed into your eyes lovingly. he leaned in closer to your face as his heart raced faster than it ever had before.

"i love you."

he crashed his lips against yours, heart soaring when he felt you kiss him back. he almost felt like crying with how overwhelmed by his emotions he was. he deepened the kiss as he tilted you back, holding you tightly in his arms still. he'd never loved a feeling more than the feeling of your lips on his. he kissed you with passion and intensity, yet it still so full of love and affection.

when you both finally pulled away, breathless, holding each other in your arms and staring into each other's eyes, reo was still hungry for more, but he held back, awaiting your response.

you lovingly bump your forehead against his, relishing the moment.

"i love you too.'

rest assured that reo wastes no time in kissing you once more. (or twice. or three times.)

ISAGI YOICHI "can i?"

isagi yoichi was RAISED RIGHT.

he understand the importance of consent!! fear not ladies!!

you both were at a party with your friends, and for some reason, while everyone else was playing drinking games and living it up, you guys were playing truth or dare.

what were you, 10?

everyone had been mostly doing a lot of truths so far, (with the exception of bachira, who was willing to do practically anything) but people were now finally starting to pick dare. kunigami had belly flopped into a hot tub, (he was practically crying for like 15 minutes) chigiri had sent a dm to a girl he liked admitting his feelings, (please be me please be me please be me) and reo had drunk the most disgusting blend of alcohol know to mankind.

"isagirin!" bachira exclaimed, pointing a finger at isagi. "truth or dare?"

isagi hesitated. "dare."

everyone 'ooo'-ed, seeing as this was his first dare. bachira mulled it over for a minute before giving him a boyish grin.

"isagirin." he stated seriously. "i dare you to..."

everyone held their breath.

"..kiss the prettiest girl in the room."

everyone, even nagi, who was basically half asleep on reo's arm, gasped immediately. isagi's face went bright red and you suddenly felt your heart pounding.

you didnt think it was going to be you. that was stupid. you and isagi were just friends. there's no way he would ever kiss you. don't delude yourself. dont be delulu, see the trululu. (im sorry)

isagi shot bachira a dirty glare as he stood up, his legs practically shaking. you didn't know why you were so nervous. there was no way it would be you, right? you doubted that he actually reciprocated your silly little crush on him.

oh. he's walking in your direction? well.. lets see. there's a really pretty girl behind you, but she's practically grinding into some other random guy, so that's probably not it. he's getting closer? there's probably some really hot girl at the other end of the party who you just can't see. he's making eye contact with you? ok ok, don't sweat it. don't panic. why is your face getting so red? you're being so obvious! he's not into you! he's isagi yoichi! he's just a friend! he's... kneeling right in front of you...?

your heart was pounding as isagi nervously leaned in. he gently swept the hair from your face and nervously mumbled, "can i?"

all you could do was nervously nod.

isagi gently kissed you sweetly, and you felt yourself melting into him. oh my god, this was really happening! when he pulled away he nervously averted his eyes, and you did the same, flustered.

the sounds of everyone's cheers and whoops and 'finally's got softer as isagi met your gaze, and it felt like you two were the only people in the world. you two would talk it out later, but for now, you could feel in your heart that this was the start of something new.

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livingemkayde · 9 months

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ch vi. bruises

joel miller x f!reader x unrequited!tommy miller (no outbreak AU)

chapter six of chaser

warnings: 18+ minors please dni. ooof okay where to start, smut unprotected p in v, mentions of bruising from sex? fighting like actual real life fist fighting, rough but sweet sex, grinding, lowkey some cockwarming?? kinda unwanted kissing, tommy being annoying and somewhat overbearing, and unwanted touching, but not sexual. caroline. just, caroline. because she deserves her own warning for this one. no use of y/n.

summary: everything comes to a head at tommy's birthday party.

a/n: this is genuinely the longest part/chapter thing i've ever written so enjoy. tommy is really annoying in this one, im still deciding if he's going to have a redemption arc. sorry this took so long. as always, i love you all so much. MY TUMBLR LITERALLY SHIT ITS PANTS WHEN I TRIED TO EDIT THE TAGLIST SO IM SORRY IF YOU GUYS GOT TAGGED LIKE 400 TIMES.

if you would like to read more of mine: masterlist!

“What’s goin’ on?” Joel says, almost a whisper. You’re still not sure if he’s talking to you or Tommy. You can't take your eyes off Tommy’s gaze. From the looks of it, Joel’s question makes Tommy more angry and way more confused. “Joel,” you say, trying to look for any indication in Tommy’s face that he’s not going to go bat shit crazy. “‘S fine. We’re okay.” But Joel doesn’t listen. Because he’s Joel Miller and maybe you can’t see it right now, but you can hear the concern dripping off his tone—an indication that he won’t ever leave. Not now. So he stalks towards you both and you try to shake your head no, and he doesn’t listen.

You can almost remember it like it was yesterday.

A few weeks back, the first time you invited Tommy in for a drink after dinner. Sarah was asleep back at the house, Joel was doing — god knows what. The sun was set, the mosquitoes were probably out, and there was a quiet, even maybe too quiet silence when Tommy pulled up to your house.

He had asked what the rest of your plans were for the night.

You had said nothing much, not knowing it was an invitation — he stayed till 2 a.m. that night.

But it was okay. Because he made you laugh and you enjoyed his company. He was interesting. Tommy told you about how he never wanted to go into contracting in the first place. About his broken bones, his all time biggest regrets, how he was smitten with his old high school flame turned mean cheerleader until graduation.

It was the first time you ever realized he was — well — his own person in the sense. Not just Joel’s younger brother. But Tommy. Tommy Miller.

Maybe in another life Tommy might’ve even been good for you. A perfect pair — a match. He wasn’t mean and brooding and he certainly didn’t have 12 years on you.

And he made you smile. And he was genuinely—genuinely interested in your life. Your post grad prospects, college, books, and even how you played soccer just like Sarah when you were younger.

But when he leaned in that night, closer to you than ever before. You froze. Like genuinely frozen, and you couldn’t even dare to look down to his slowly approaching lips, let alone how his arms caged you in.

“First kiss?” you remember him asking.

You had just stuttered out nonsense, not wanting to breathe too hard and run the risk of pushing your lips flush with his.

“I — um —” you nervously laughed. You couldn’t even think—not in the way you should—not when the first person that comes to mind when Tommy says, kiss is his brother.

He had leaned in closer then—more tentative. Like you were a scared deer in headlights or a frightened kitten and he was inching forward, wanting to move closer.

But you didn’t really do — anything.

And he had pulled back a bit, gave you a teasing look and a ruffle on the head and continued with the conversation.

In all honesty you were scared that he might've been inching forward to kiss you. The small fear settling through a slightly erratic heartbeat and nervous laughs.

You were scared then, but can’t really remember the last time you’ve felt this kind of fear.

Hurt, discomfort, shock, maybe.

And although it was being quickly replaced with anger, you don’t remember this feeling — this kind of fear. Not even the kind you get from watching a scary movie — where you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins and then dissipating when the screen goes dark, and the lights turn back on and all you have to worry about is if the scary nun from the big screen will appear in your dreams.

You can remember all the last times you’ve gotten mad, sure. Mainly at the Miller brothers.

But never fear — well, not until right now.

Because whoever that Tommy was is definitely not the same guy staring back at you right now, with a bruised fist, an angry look swirled with hurt marked permanently on his face and one emotion that you can definitely place behind his eyes — jealousy.

Some hours earlier.

You spread colorful tablecloth over the mismatched tables in Joel’s backyard. The string lights are being hung up, Joel stands on a ladder towards your right, the sound of a hammer echoing through the small backyard.

You pick your phone out of your back pocket, checking the time. You also find it in you to check Tommy’s texts again, but no other messages have been sent since last night. You look down at your phone — at the messages — and sit against one of the tables.

Yesterday:

You: can we talk in person?

Tommy Miller: I’ll see you tomorrow at the party?

You hadn’t seen the text until this morning, when Joel and you found it in yourselves to get out of bed, have a shower, and start setting up for the party. So when you saw it, you would be lying if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat.

You’re a bit nervous at the prospect. You did not want to talk to him at his party—honestly just trying to text him so that the air would be cleared for the party.

But his words echo in your mind.

“Just think ‘bout it before you say no.”

You let out a cursed sigh.

Tommy had to know. Right?

If he knew the dreaded ‘no’ was already braced on your lips he had to know. That this thing between you and Tommy would never work out. That you’re way better as friends. That it would ruin everything — the dynamics of it all — that you were smitten with his brother and you guys had just slept together for the second time without Tommy’s knowledge and that—

“Alright?”

Joel stands in front of you, dipping his head to see a scowl marked on your face. You quickly — maybe even too quickly — forget about the messages, hell, forget about Tommy.

Because Joel looks handsome. He’s always handsome, you’ve thought since the moment you met him at the bar. There’s something intoxicating about him, his arms, the curve of his neck. His brooding nature does him justice — a uniqueness about him that makes you want to uncover more, learn more, see more.

You remember last night—very vividly through small ebbs and flows of sleep. The moonlight seeped into your skin as you both rolled around in gray sheets.

It makes your cheeks heat a bit at the thought.

You remember everything. Every little detail. You don’t think you’ll ever forget.

You tuck your phone back into your pocket.

“Yeah, sorry. ‘S just…” you trail off, he nods his head in understanding, coming closer to you.

He braces his hands on either side of your body, caging you in. Your faces study each other’s mere inches apart.

“Tablecloth givin’ you trouble?” Joel teases in a soft whisper, looking down at your lips, then back to your eyes.

“Funny,” you say with a grin and run your tongue over your lips.

“You need help, baby, all you gotta do is ask.” Joel’s small smile plays on his lips for a fleeting second. You miss it as soon as it’s gone.

“Duly noted. But I’m not the one who’s been hanging up string lights for the past hour.”

He pats your ass a bit, teasing you and pushing out a playful sigh.

“Perfection takes time.”

Joel’s beginning to dip his head to kiss you, but you find it in you to bite back.

“And yet the left side’s still lower than the right,” you whisper, pulling your head back slightly. He turns quickly to look at the fence, but gives you a harder slap on your ass when he realizes the lights are, in fact, straight.

Joel chuckles, pushing off from the table, you turn back around to continue fixing the cloths, and look back at him over your shoulder.

He’s looking back at you too.

“You’re killin’ me,” he says, and you smile to yourself when you turn back around.

You look around the backyard and check your phone for the millionth time since the party started. You can hear Sarah running around, screaming a bit while jumping into the pool. But your brows furrow when you find that Tommy still hasn’t texted you.

You spot a tuft of red hair swinging through your vision and spin to find Janet Baker squeezing through the crowd.

“Janet!” you say, approaching her quickly. You’re happy to see her—Tommy didn’t invite many people you’re familiar with.

“Hey, Doll. Thanks for the invite!” she says, pulling you into a quick hug, but when she sees the look on your face, her mouth drops into a frown. “Sweetie, you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I—Tommy didn’t…I don’t really know anyone here,” you reply while sheepishly looking around the small, bustling backyard. It’s the kind of feeling you try your best to avoid. Like everyone is in on some secret joke that you have no clue about. Or everyone knows each other and you can’t even put faces to names because you don’t know any names—like right now.

“‘S fine—I’m happy to see you made it,” you let out a defeated chuckle.

“‘F course, baby. Charlotte really wanted to see Sarah,” she nods towards the girls in the pool, Charlotte’s red hair looking strikingly similar to the woman standing in front of you. Janet seems to be on her second drink of the afternoon, you saw her tipping back a solo cup out of the corner of your eye earlier.

“What are you drinking?” you ask her, nodding at her cup.

“Someone brought a fancy lookin’ wine I popped open,” she says, giving you a sly smile. “Why don’t we get you a drink? You’ll like this,” she says, you don’t have much time to react, she’s already pulling you towards the drink station.

You both settle into a comfortable silence, looking around the backyard while Janet pours your drink.

“So,” she says, giving you a wink.

“So…” you echo, sending a nervous laugh her way.

“Who’s that girl,” she nods towards Caroline while passing you a cup, you take a big sip, Janet fills it back up to the top without a second glance.

“Caroline,” you say looking at her and Joel. They’re talking to some other people, a small group of them congregating by the barbecue.

“Caroline…” Janet tests out on her tongue, willing you to continue.

“Caroline—Joel’s,” you can’t help but chuckle. “date. I guess.”

“That bother you?” she says, finishing the bottle of wine while the two of you walk back towards the edge of the pool so she can watch Charlotte and Sarah.

“Nope,” you say, and it’s not a lie. Sure, it might be a little weird to see another woman clinging to his arm after yesterday. But you know now. And that’s all that matters.

“Joel can—” you laugh again, “—Joel can do what he likes.”

Janet stops walking suddenly. You tear your gaze away from Joel and look at her with a confused furrowed brow.

“Sweetie…” she says with eyes that look way too knowing for your comfort or peace of mind.

“Janet…?” you say, though her gaze just intensifies.

“You mean to tell me it happened since I last saw you?”

Your eyes widen, a shocked look crosses your face and you quickly try to replace it with a bad mask of confusion.

“W-what? I—”

“Don’t lie to me, doll,” she warns, and she looks like she really means it.

“Janet…” you say in a not as effective and halfhearted warning tone back.

“Don’t you dare,” she wags her finger—a final warning.

What has gotten into you and why can’t you find it in yourself to lie to this woman?

“Don’t te—” she gasps, “Janet, I mean it. Do not tell anyone.”

She shuts her half open mouth and makes the my lips are sealed motion across her face. You laugh while stealing a glance at Joel.

“I told you,” she whispers to you in a hush, joining your eyeline towards Joel.

You stay silent for a moment, just taking everything and everyone in—but at the same time just looking at Joel. when you finally break the silence you’re a bit shocked at your question. You’ve never talked about Joel like this with someone who actually knows him. Everything has always been a secret—like you were supposed to be ashamed or something. You never were.

“How did you know?” you ask, hushed. You’re not sure she’ll even hear you.

“Would love to say it was intuition, sweetie—but—it was him. It was written all over his face.”

You stayed with Janet for the better portion of the hour, all through silent peaks at your phone to see if Tommy had texted you. When it was getting to the point where people were getting curious, you’ve just about had your limit.

You approach Joel quickly, you don’t miss Caroline’s stunned face but you really can’t be bothered with—that—right now.

“Joel?” you ask, pulling at his arm a bit, he excuses himself from the group and follows you towards the backyard's edge.

“Where the hell is your brother?” you whisper.

“He’s not here?” he asks, the same hushed tone also pushing through his voice at your question.

“No! I called him, but he’s not responding,” you pipe back while pulling out your phone. Though the lack of notifications from Tommy—just as before—tells you enough.

You both look at each other for a fleeting second. But the same worried look is probably etched on both your faces — fuck.

“This fuckin’ guy,” Joel mutters under his breath while pulling out his own phone and then putting it up to his ear.

You pace around the small area you and Joel are in, observing the unfamiliar faces.

“Nothin’,” Joel grovels, taking a peak over the fence towards the street to see if Tommy's truck has pulled up. “I’ll try ‘im again — just — you should mingle,” he says, still looking down at his phone.

“‘S fine. I don’t really know anyone here anyways,” you say absentmindedly, looking through your phone for Tommy’s contact and putting your phone up to your ear.

You hear yelling and shouting from the entrance to the backyard. You slowly lift your head, reluctant to tear your eyes away from frantic texts.

You spot him, in all his glory. Tommy Miller. Two hours late to his own birthday party—though he looks like he couldn’t care less, hugging old friends and new ones. He spots your eyes in the crowd and you can’t even be bothered to smile, a frown is almost permanently placed on your face—Late to your own birthday party?

He nods his head toward the house, a silent invitation to talk when he’s done greeting the guests. You nod back and turn to Joel, Tommy turns to everyone else.

“He’s here,” you say, pulling Joel out of his own phone, he does a double take towards the entrance and huffs out a groan.

“Goddamn idiot,” Joel says, running his palm over his eyebrow.

“I’m gonna go—” you say, nodding towards the house, towards Tommy.

“Yeah. Alright,” he replies, though he looks a bit concerned and unfocused, looking towards Tommy, then back to you, “You need me, ‘m there.”

“‘M not telling him about us on his birthday and It’s Tommy, Joel.”

Tommy—harmless.

Though Joel’s look sends a sweat to your palms for some reason. You don’t know why he’s worried.

It’s Tommy. It’s fine.

Right?

You hope as much as you make your way through the crowd. You beeline for the house and slip past the sliding doors into the kitchen where cups and bags of chips lay open and equally sprawled.

You can hear the door slide open and shut again behind you as you try and salvage the mess.

“Baby,” Tommy says, rounding the corner and coming close to you, “‘M sorry. The concrete guy was supposed to drop off the shipment tomorrow but he came today and needed a signature—”

“Tommy, it’s okay,” you almost have to will yourself to say. You also have to remember it’s his birthday.

He looks down.

“‘S okay. It’s your birthday. Happy birthday,” you reassure with a small smile.

“Looks great out there,” he says, fiddling with his phone in his hand.

“Thanks.”

You’re suddenly a bit nervous. You hadn’t really thought about everything that had happened when Tommy being late to his own birthday party was blanketing all the drama. But he’s here now, and you have no idea what to say. Maybe it would be better to not say anything at all—not address the fact that he asked you out, or you and Joel. But that guilty gnawing feeling eats you alive the longer you stand in silence.

“Joel helped you?”

“Yeah. I went shopping yesterday and dropped off the stuff here then we set it up this morning,” you say, nodding towards the backyard and then your car parked out front.

“You went shopping on your own?” he almost sounds offended.

“I wanted to go on my own.”

Tommy doesn't look convinced.

“Really, T. ‘S fine,” you brush off, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing your arms. He stares at you from the other side of the kitchen.

“Caroline here?” he asks, a hesitant look on his face as he switches from looking at the ground to your face—almost like he’s looking for a reaction.

“She’s out there somewhere,” you nod, keeping a neutral face masked with a small smile. “You should mingle. Just wanted to make sure everything was alright.”

But he doesn’t move, he just keeps fiddling with the case on his phone again, looking down to the floor—his feet.

“I— you said you wanted to talk in person.”

Shit.

You both look at each other, waiting. A game of cat and mouse.

“It can wait, T. Enjoy your party,” you say, gesturing to the crowd outside.

“Is it about—is it about what happened Friday?”

“Tommy,” you say, almost warningly. This situation is shitty enough as is. You really don’t want to spoil everything—even if there’s nothing left to spoil.

He doesn’t say anything. His thumb fiddling with his phone is the only sound coming from inside the kitchen. He looks at you, waiting for you to continue. Almost unbearable. You crack way quicker than you’d hope to last.

If he wants it like this, at his own birthday party, then so be it.

“Fine. I just—I wanted to…” you scramble for words but they jumble in your mind.

“I’m—” you fall short again. “About what you said. What you asked me. I don’t think that it’s…something I want. I’m—sorry.”

“You don’t think it’s something you want? Or you know that—”

“Tommy,” you say, giving him an awkward stifled laugh. Like he’s being childish with his response. Because he is. “I don’t—I’m sorry.”

He turns away from you suddenly, towards the window above the sink and just stares at it for a long time. You can see his chest puffing. When he finally turns back around, it’s different. It’s the Tommy you know.

“‘S okay,” He says.

Maybe he’ll get over it quickly—you hope.

“Are you okay? I’m—I mean I hope that this doesn’t change anything since I’m still gonna be around—” you lift your arm up to run a ragged hand across your forehead and through your hair, you don’t even notice that your shirt riding up, “— I just don’t want it to like—”

“What is that?”

Your eyes snap to Tommy’s, confused. You think he might be looking out the window again but his eyes trail to you, but lower. Like he’s looking at your hips—because he is. You’re still confused for a second, before examining your shirt, looking for stains or anything out of the ordinary. But you don’t find anything, your top spotless.

“What? I don’t—”

“No—” he takes a couple quick steps forward, into your space, you try to find his eyes—yours blown out with confusion and shock but his are trained and laser focused to your waistline.

“What’s—” he tries to pull up your shirt, you shove him back out of reflex. “You’re hurt, what happened t’you?”

He almost pins down your hands to see your skin under your shirt, dipping his head to look at your waist and hips and you suddenly know. You know there are hand shaped bruises littered across the skin of your waist, turning it deep purple. Handprints that match Joel’s exactly—almost like they’re burned into you. You saw it this morning. It’s why you didn’t bother to put on a swimsuit and decided to keep a top on instead.

What’s even worse is you know Tommy saw it too.

“Tommy!” you’re yelling now, fighting his grip.

You slip up, unable to get a good hold on his wrist like he now has on yours and he pushes the shirt up to reveal the bruises.

“What the hell is that?”

“Fucking—get off!” he backs away with your second shove, a different kind of look on his face. “Jesus,” you huff out, yanking your shirt back down.

You both stand there. A pregnant silence between you. You can almost hear the gears turning, he stares blankly. Putting it all together. Like maybe you’re not hurt, but you wanted it—wanted it from another man. Somewhere in the back of his mind he might keep wishing someone hurt you so he didn’t have to feel so betrayed. So when he asks, it’s like he doesn’t want to admit that it’s true—the quiet possibility of someone else in the picture.

“Who,” he says slowly, pointing down to your waist, “did that?”

“Tommy—” you say, but footsteps cut you off, you both turn your head to the entrance of the kitchen as Joel rounds the corner. He looks out of breath and his eyes flicker from Tommy and his finger pointing down at your waist then back to you.

“We alright in here?” Joel stands, hesitant, his fingers play with the bottom hem of his shirt in an anxious way. Like he doesn't know what he’s just walked in on—you’re not entirely sure you know the answer to that either. You aren’t sure if he’s talking to you or Tommy so you stay silent, waiting for the man in front of you to respond.

“Yup,” Tommy replies, too angry to be believable.

Joel looks at you but he doesn’t say anything. Not out loud.

No. You try to say with your eyes. We are definitely not alright in here.

“Joel,” you say, trying to look for any indication in Tommy’s face that he’s not going to go bat shit crazy. “‘S fine. We’re okay.”

But Joel doesn’t listen. Because he’s Joel Miller and maybe you can’t see it right now, but you can hear the concern dripping off his tone—an indication that he won’t ever leave. Not now. So he stalks towards you both and you try to shake your head no, and he doesn’t listen.

He stands beside you, putting a flat sprawled palm on Tommy’s chest and silently tries to push him backward. But Tommy breaks first, pushing Joel’s hand off him, staggering back while looking at you and Joel.

And maybe he gets it then, you think. Because Tommy lets out a deep chuckle—like you’ve got clown makeup on. Like he’s never seen anything more funny. He’s a lot of things but he is not fucking stupid. So he looks past Joel to your eyes. To your face, almost covered—ridden—in guilt and he can see everything.

“Really?” Tommy says, not sparing Joel a glance.

“You put your fuckin’ hands on her?” Tommy says, almost at a whisper which makes it all the more intimidating. You can see Joel’s back puff, his anger rising. But you also know Joel would never hurt his brother. Not on purpose.

But you’re scared. You’re really fucking scared in this moment because Tommy is entirely too worked up and you know whatever excuse Joel is going to say won’t help.

“Easy,” Joel says, his voice cutting through the tense silence.

You’re sweating. The hot summer of July in Austin getting to you. They stare at each other for a long time. Like at the kitchen table, like when you all first met. But this time, Tommy breaks, and his eyes flicker to yours, he takes a tiny step to the side so he can see you better.

“Is this why? Is this why you’re fuckin’—jesus, fuck. ‘S this why he went to get you a tire?” you stand, you can’t really say anything, your stunned figure doesn’t move.

“He hurt you,” Tommy breathes out, his voice almost breaking if he wasn’t so angry. You shake your head.

You both know that the bruises aren’t from hurt. That they’re far from it.

“He didn’t,” you reply.

“No, no, baby. He’s—you’re—” Tommy almost looks like he can’t believe it, shaking his head, switching between you and Joel. The look you give him shuts him up, and makes him back away, until Joel unclenches his fists and relaxes his shoulder a fraction.

“I didn’t really want to tell you like this, I was—”

“Fucking my brother?” he bites back, interrupting you.

That makes you a bit mad. You’re not in love with his attitude, nor his tone. It’s not like he has any right. It’s not like either of them do.

Joel moves to speak but you do it first.

“Don’t give me that,” you say, almost laughing, though the situation is not funny, not in the slightest. “We’re not dating, Tommy. We never were.”

Caroline strides in at that, looking at the scene unfolding in the kitchen. She stops short of the three of you, her mouth slightly agape. You roll your eyes, fucking perfect. Let’s just bring the party in here instead. You’ll give it to the woman. She has impeccable timing.

“Needed some napkins…” she trails off, holding the empty napkin stand in her right hand up so everyone can see. “I—I can come back.”

“Did you know?” Tommy turns to her, gesturing to you and Joel.

“Tommy,” Joel says from in front of you, a warning. Tommy ignores him.

“Did you know?” he asks again, Caroline stares back shocked. But she does consider it, rolls the idea around in her head before speaking.

“Them two?” Tommy nods. “Her?”

Okay. You really don’t love that tone. You silently chastise yourself for thinking she was nice at the bar when your first instinct was that she was a bitch—because she is. You were waiting for her snarky undertones or spoiled takes to show. You knew it was coming, you just didn’t know when.

“No, ‘f couse not.” She’s almost laughing, like it could never be possible. It hits you harder than you’ll ever admit. “She’s — you’re…young,” she says, looking at you.

Tommy gestures to you and Joel like he’s saying, well believe it, because it’s true.

Joel moves faster than you can comprehend. He’s got a tight grip on Tommy’s arm. He probably doesn’t even have to say anything, Tommy knows what’s happening. But Joel warns him anyway—again.

“Quit,” he growls. You’d guess this might be the point where Tommy usually backs down. But this situation is far from usual.

“Or what?” Tommy bites back. When Joel doesn’t respond he continues. “You gonna mark me up? Leave me all black and blue?”

Tommy doesn’t stop there, you try to move past Joel but he stops you, turns his head to you slightly, a hardened look in his eye.

“Oh, I forgot you’d probably like that, huh?”

Joel remains frozen for a couple fleeting seconds before whipping around and pushing Tommy into the back counter. You’re rooted to your place, you don’t even care that Caroline is still in the corner, holding the fucking napkin holder in the air.

“What’d you say?” Joel barks in Tommy’s face.

“Look at her fuckin’ stomach, dude!” Tommy throws the words in his face, pushing him back slightly and making a vague gesture in your direction, it causes your feet to move towards the brothers before you can think.

Joel backs off then, sneaking a tiny glance at you out of the corner of his eye, like he really is thinking about the marks he left on your waist. He had seen them this morning, ran his fingers over them too, and saw how the notches matched the curves of his fingers perfectly. But you kissed him, and told him it was okay. That it was more than okay. Maybe even whispered that you liked it between muffled groans. So when a glint of guilt flashes in his eyes it makes your heart break more than it already has.

“She said no,” Joel says, looking back at Tommy. A tense silence follows—like you’re not sure if Joel is going to continue or Tommy is going to bite back.

“Get back to your party,” Joel growls after a while. You bite your lip.

Tommy looks at Joel with unwavering eyes. His glance turns towards the window where he can see the bustling crowd—can almost hear the laughter. Then he looks down to his hand, outstretches it, undoes his gnarly fist, and when it curls back up again, you finally bite.

“Tommy!” you say, moving closer. But it’s too late. Joel’s figure knocks to the side and his hand instinctively grabs his face, his nose, his eye. Maybe the worst part about it all is that Joel doesn’t even look remotely surprised, or that he wants to fight back—he just stays there, a little hunched over when you yelp in shock and Tommy groans, shaking out a now bruised fist.

“Fuck,” you almost yell, your body doesn’t know what to do between bending down to see Joel’s face and looking at Tommy—at his face—because you don’t recognize him.

Joel almost huffs out a laugh, and to shut him up, to get him to bite his tongue, you speak again.

“Okay. We’re done here,” you say, pushing Joel towards the entrance of the house, towards your car.

And Caroline is there, pushing Tommy towards the couches and for the first time, you’re grateful for her.

The ride back to your house is silent after a short and quick bicker about who can drive. You think Joel might want to sit in the driver's seat so you can’t see the quickly forming bruises on the left side of his face but you make a decent argument, enough to settle him in the passengers—looking out the window.

You send Janet a quick text, asking if she can watch Sarah for a few hours. Brother emergency. Janet replies back and says the girls haven’t gotten out of the pool since you left. It makes you smile a bit, despite it all.

When you park in your driveway, you hop out quickly, Joel following closely behind. He waits there, right behind you, when you pull out your house keys, and waits when you unlock the deadbolt and waits when you push through the door.

“Make yourself at home,” you say, nodding towards the couches and dropping your keys in the bowl.

You disappear into the kitchen and brace your arms on the counter, your head hanging between your shoulders. You let out a deep, ragged breath and try to control your heartbeat.

“Fuck,” you mumble, shaking out your wrists, grabbing two advil from the bottle on your counter, a glass of water, and peas from freezer.

Joel’s sitting on the loveseat, looking down at his hands. You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either. He just takes the water and pills from your hands and swallows it silently. You extend the peas to him, he thinks about it for a while and when you shake them again, huffing, saying—just fucking take them. He finally obliges.

You get a good look at his cheek when he turns to set the water down on the table and you have to stop yourself from gasping.

“Joel,” you murmur, reaching for him, bending down, he stops you, grabs your wrist, then grabs your hand. But he’s gentle. Not like Tommy. Joel’s gentle.

“‘S fine,” he says, and winces when the peas touch his face. “‘M fine.”

You settle in between his legs, looking down at him. He’s got one hand on his face, holding the peas, and the other, wrapped around the back of your thigh. He doesn’t even want to look up at you. It breaks your heart.

“‘M sorry,” you say quietly, his hand on your thigh trails upward. He plays with the hem of your shirt and lifts it enough to take a peek at the purple that lies there.

He doesn’t say anything, just sits there, running a gentle, ghost-like touch across the bruises.

“He — saw it. I don’t…” you look down to your stomach. You can see the shape of his fingertips so clearly. It’s no wonder Tommy reacted how he did. “It was an accident.”

He doesn’t nod. Doesn’t shake his head. He tosses the peas onto the table and pushes the cotton of your shirt up further, to where he can see all of it—all the black and blue there.

“Are you mad?” you whisper, hesitantly, as he stares at his own hands, his own branding.

“‘M sorry,” he mumbles.

“Don’t be,” you say, begging, “Please.”

“He did that cause—,” you breathe out, taking his chin in your pointer finger and thumb and getting your first good look at his cheek, “—it’s-’s my fault, I should’ve—”

“C’mon. Don’t do that,” he says, cutting you off, nipping your apology in the bud, “I should be the one who’s sorry, this is — I hurt you.”

You shake your head.

“You know that’s not—you know that I—” you stifle a short chuckle.

“That you what?”

You let out a couple hot breaths, looking down at him, the purple around his eye slowly taking shape.

“That I liked it.”

Joel bends forward then, and you gasp. The dull scratch of his beard is the only thing keeping your eyes open. He trails his hot breath across your stomach, and leaves gentle kisses on your sides, on your bruises.

“Joel,” you mumble, and you hate how your voice sounds so breathy, maybe even desperate. You tangle your hands in his hair, grasping at the nape of his neck he pulls you down, closer, so you’re slotted in his lap, straddling him. Joel pulls back and looks at your face, brushes the fallen hair from your eyes.

“I meant what I said,” you start, he furrows his brow, “Still—mean it.”

From the look in his eyes he knows what you’re talking about. The words you slipped into his ear last night.

‘S you, Joel — it’s-’s always been you.

“But if this is—if Tommy—” you cut yourself off, correcting your words, “If I messed it up—”

“Sweetheart,” he says. Your heart pulls, you almost put your hand on his cheek, but you see the rising skin and settle for his shoulder. “‘M not goin’ anywhere.”

“Are you sure?”

He pulls you down further, so you’re flush against him. He studies your eyes and rubs at your waist, your hips. It sends a little fire down between your thighs.

“‘M here—‘M…I’m right here,” he mumbles, and shakes his head. Like he’s telling you no to any silent thoughts of doubt that might be floating around your head.

And then he pulls your head down to kiss you.

It’s needy, and hot and everything you want at this moment. He’s everywhere and you can feel his growing arousal between your legs. You both needed this—you think. After everything, after—fucking—Caroline and Janet Baker and Tommy Miller. You both needed each other so bad that when you grind down onto him he lets out a little desperate groan into your mouth that spurs you on.

Joel slips his hand under your shirt and finds the hardened peak there. He pinches it and rolls it between his fingers, it sends your hips forward and suddenly he’s sitting up, and shucking your shirt off.

He grabs your hips and moves you against him, your most vulnerable spots grinding against each other. Giving you both blown out eyes and puffy lips and panting breath.

“Sh–it,” you gasp when your shorts catch on your clit perfectly.

“Pretty,” he says, grasping at your tits, at anything he can find while you grind against his length. “fuckin’—pretty like this.”

You claw at his belt and before you know it, he’s lifting you up so you’re on your knees and he’s pulling his pants past his hips. You get the memo and take your shorts off, tossing them behind you. When you sink back down onto his lap, you can feel his cock slip between your wet lips down there.

“Fuck, Joel,” you say, gliding along his cock, soaking it. You can feel all of him now—grinding along his hardness—the girth of him fitting perfectly between your swollen lips.

“Angel,” Joel pants out, through sloppy kisses. You look at him. He’s got a desperate look on his face. Like he couldn’t wait just like you. Not even to get upstairs to your bedroom or to get all his clothes off. Like he’s been wanting this all day. Just like you.

You move up and reach down, feeling the wet mess you’ve both made down between your legs. You find his cock, hard and wanting, and position it at your entrance. The head sinks past your walls, enveloping it somewhere deeper and you both groan at the feeling.

You sink down on him slowly, you’re by no means physically ready to take him. But you can’t wait any longer. He kisses you, and down to your neck, making it easier to ease yourself down onto him, and when you finally reach the end, and you’re seated fully in his lap, you both gasp.

Your walls clench around him, eliciting a quiet groan from Joel somewhere near your neck. Your eyes roll back in your head, your forehead drops onto his shoulder. You both just sit there, waiting for the other to make a move.

It’s kind of like a game.

See how long you can both relish in each other’s warmth — the first person who moves loses.

Your walls tighten again and he lets out another groan, “Jesus,” he mumbles, nipping at your neck. You’re slowly adjusting to him, relaxing around him. It makes you shudder.

You realize he’s not really touching you. He’s got his hands on your thighs, but they’re just resting there. Not squeezing or gripping your hips like you know he so desperately wants. Maybe he’s scared, you think. From everything that’s happened today. From the consequences his touch barred.

But you didn’t care about the consequences. You liked his touch, needed his touch, just as much as he needed something to hold him back down to earth, anchor him to you—in you. And afterall, you just want him to feel good. Feel better.

“Touch me,” you gasp out, reaching down to his hands.

“Am touchin’ you,” he forces out, panting near your ear. His thumb absentmindedly pushes down on the skin of your thigh a fraction harder and then eases up, like he’s saying this is the best I can do.

“No, Joel,” you moan, rock your hips a little, moving first, moving frantically and suddenly, “touch me,” you say into his neck, reaching down to usher his hands to your hips, your waist, you.

Joel gets it then, the silent permission. The it’s okay, and grips you harder, but not as hard as you know he would like. It’s good enough for you because he moves your hips, rocking you up and down onto his length—having enough of the senseless grinding.

“Fuckin’ good—” Joel groans, your hands fly to his shoulders, his hair. “You feel good.”

Your legs grow tired, he can tell. You try your best, but you’re sweaty and tired and fucked out, and when he hits a spot deeper inside you that makes you moan out, louder than before, and you almost collapse onto him. He ruts into you a little. Meeting you halfway. Fucking you deeper—maybe even a bit faster.

Your legs ache and you feel a sheen of sweat wash over both of you. And Joel’s eye is fucked up, his cheek too. Tommy is sitting back at the house—or god knows where—with a possible broken hand, Janet baker is watching Sarah instead of you or Joel, Caroline is still back at the house, and everything is a fucking mess, but it’s so right. He feels so right. He’s — he’s right.

You’re close then, the coarse hair on him inching you toward your climax. He knows, he can feel it from the inside. You don’t even have to say it this time, your question for his permission. He can see it already braced on your lips but he shuts you up with a kiss, a sloppy one, where he sticks his tongue into your mouth and your walls tighten around him again.

“Yes,” he says with a moan into your mouth, “yes, yes—ah.”

“Fuck,” you say tightening around him, becoming breathless and boneless, but Joel holds you up. He always does.

He grips you tighter, like how you know he wanted to, and you relish in the feeling. His thrusts become desperate and you brace yourself on the back of the couch so he can rut up deeper, chasing after his own orgasm. You can’t really breathe. Not when he’s everywhere.

“Shit,” he says, rocking into you.

Joel cums hard, holding onto you, wrapping you up in his arms as he groans somewhere near your temple. You let it spread through you, the mess of it all. He keeps you locked in his arms, even when you think he might pull away.

He finally pulls you off him, when he says it becomes too much and you sit on his lap, playing with his curls. When you both settle from your panting you can’t help but ask.

“What are we gonna do?” you say quietly to him.

“I dunno,” he grabs your hand and gives it a quick kiss. The bruise on his face is turning an ugly shade of purple. And the peas have gone warm, creating a small puddle on the coffee table. And your phone keeps buzzing from the entryway.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says, running a hand on your thigh.

taglist! comment or message me if you want to be added. kisses!

@going-to-californiaxx @gintheginger @daddy-din @earthtogrogu @rooney-verse @ratoonstown @skysmiller @pedritosdarling @lovely-ateez @pluzo @spongebobspooploop @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @tsunamistorm123 @awhoreforalotofshows @disassociation-daydreams @violinchick @rhoorl

@yoongjennie88 @untamedheart81 @noisynightmarepoetry @joelsversion @vanillen @brujitafantomatico @cartoon-garbage04 @jpbplvr @whattownheadshake @beccerjune @pedrotonin @sen-mirjahaal @awesomebunnyqueen @bluetattoos

@siimiasoi @fandomscollide @lizzie-cakes @paleidiot @sunnywithachanceofjavi @koshkaj-blog @sunnysaphira @bbyanarchist @casa-boiardi @anavatazes @joeldjarin @l0vem3n @lmariephoto37 @turtles-all-the-way-d0wn @withasideofmeg @dinwifey @brinabees @sofiparallel @akah565 @defnotashifter @missgurrl @anoverwhelmingdin @rainbowcosmicchaos @pedropascalissofine @purplemechanics @suzmagine @hellaradd @josephine1837 @lawh0re @medic332 @lisaneedsbraces @angelmather1 @kirsteng42 @poodlebae @lunxramour

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simoneslibrarys · 6 months

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𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘽𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙧'𝙨 𝘿𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧

𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷－𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵

cw: fem! reader, afab!reader, angst, hurt/ comfort, family gathering, bi-han's mother being the girl boss she is, bi-han’s mom does slap bi-Han’s father but it’s sooo deserved..,bi-han's father is kind of a dick :(, shy! reader, young! reader, young!bi-han, soft!bi-han, kuai liang and tomas being the best wing-men ever, poor reader is just gonna get judged, is not expressed to be POC but isn't stated that she is not, AVAHEJEJEJDJNDDNN I LOVE THEM

NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: hellloooo, sorry for not posting for a while :(( I’ve been busy with real life so I apologize for that! due to the poll i posted out people wanted to see the reader meet the rest of bi-han's family and properly meet his mother as well. I want to say thank you so much for interacting with it! this is really good responces to my first fanfic on this site. I love you guys so much, please reblog to help me out!

✧- when bi-han asked you to meet his family after a while of offically dating, you couldn't help but be confused. you've met his mother in fact see her everytime you came over. his brother do the same. come over and hang out with you at the bakery, even help you out with custom orders. so you thought you knew his family pretty well. until..

✧- you arrived at the home in your prettist blue dress, pearly white heels passed down from your mother. a pretty necklace that bi-han had gifted you and light blue sweater. hair pinned up with a blue glass buyao. you had brought some dishes and food of your own to share with his family. wrapped neatly with a soft blue cloth and hand woven basket you bought for this occassion.

✧- once you arrived at the home of the Lin Kuei family, bi-han came by your side. greeting you and kissing your forehead. you couldn't help but sweat and shake in your heels. "bi-han im scared to meet your family. I've met everyone before but your father.." youmumbled as he walked you to the home. the garden fountain trying it's hardest to calm your nerves

✧- bi-han's eyes wander quickly at the word 'father' . bi-han cleared his throat and gave you a wiry smile. "everything will be alright. no mayter what my father says, you'll forever be mines." he said, his gruff, maturing voice soothing throught it. he kissed your hand as you giggled. "please, your treating me like royality." bi-han chuckled as he helped you up the steps. "are you not?" he joked.

✧- once you entered, you saw tomas look up with glee and kuai liang flashing you a cheeky grin. "oh my god! hi (reader)!!" tomas cheered. he rushed out his seat to hug your side as bi-han groaned at his little brother's adoration. "tomas.." he grunted. you laughed as ruffled his hair as he giggled and hid inbetween your legs. "no, it's okay! I don't mind!" you giggled.

✧- sitting beside bi-han's mother was his father. his father. his face stone cold and seemingly angry. bi-han's mother smiled at you, waved her hand out to you to sit. "please darling sit, I know it was a long walk her formt he village!" she cooed. you nodded as bi-han took you to your seat next him on his father's side. he pulled out your chair and pushed you as he sat next to him.

✧- "i've brought some pasteries of my own if that's okay?" you whispered. the grandmaster looked at you with disgusted, you felt so ugly as soon as his gaze sat on you. bi-han's mother pinched his thigh, making him jump a little in his seat. "hello. (reader) is it?" he said, his voice just as gruff and harsh as his eldest son. "yes my grandmaster." you answered quickly but quietly.

✧- "please my sweet! don't be afraid! you have nothing to fear!" bi-han’s mother assured. her husband grumbled as he closed his eyes. bi-Han’s mother leaned into her husband. “please show some respect! she is a sweet girl who loves our son dearly. Do not scare her away..” she barked softly in his ear with scorn.

✧- as all of you ate, you were shy and bashful. bi-han’s father asked away about you. Where is your bakery? Who is your father? How do you and bi-han meet? Everything was confusing and stressful and bi-han could feel that.

✧- “interesting..” his father groaned. your face was lowered and sat in between you shoulders. hi-Han had just about enough of his judgmental and rather rude behavior towards you. “can you stop? she very uncomfortable!” bi-han shouted. bi-Han’s father growled and slammed his fist on the table, scaring Tomas and kuai liang.

✧- “sit down!” his mother shouted at her husband but her demands went unnoticed. “It was you huh? you! you come into my home and shame me? Use my son was a cover?!” he roared. you started to tear up and sob, “no, that’s not it my master! I-I…!” bi-Han took your arm and lift you up and stood you up on your feet.

✧- “she said nothing of you! you ask her questions and make her feel like she’s below us. she is not. excuse us mother..” his family watched as he take you outside as you sob and crying into his chest. his mother had a faint smile on her face as she watched her son take care of you from afar.

✧- “disrespectful I say..that girl is nasty little baker girl. I don’t want my son around her, dirtying his image and mines-“. his wife lands a nice and sting slap on the grandmaster’s face. kuai loans stood up and picked up Tomas and ran away from the table as Tomas was tearing up. “How could you?! your other raised you better than this! get your head out of your ass and wake up you douche bag! that girl is doing what she can to survive! I am ashamed of you..”

✧- the grandmaster’s wife left the table, leaving him all behind. meanwhile with you, you were worn out. you got out of your dress and into a me of his shirts. you laid on his bed as he kissed you cheek. he got out of all of his gear and slipped into night clothes. he laid next to you, holding your hips tightly as you softly snored.

✧- as bi-Han was ready to fall into slumber, you woke him up. “bi-Han am I really dirty? gross? beneath you?” another emotion. it was new but not in a good way. like in a way that twisted his heart into pieces. “no, never. you are mines nothing can change that. not even my father can change that…” he kissed your lips as you snuggled to him closer. He rested his chin on you shoulder as you laid on his exposed arm.

I love you bi-Han

I love you too

#fanficiton #mortal kombat #bi han sub zero #bi han x reader #mk1 #fanfic #fanfics #im literally going insane #sub zero #sub zero mk1 #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #im hurtin #bi han #adorable

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megumimania · 1 year

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connie x black! fem reader, in a connie brain rot need him real bad i fear !! likes and reblogs r greatly appreciated <3

best friend!connie who has known you since you were toddlers, with there not being a memory in his life that you weren’t apart of.

best friend!connie who always picks up when you call, whether it’s talking shit about someone or picking an outfit for an event, he’s always there for you

best friend!connie who joins you when you go to the nail salon to get your nails done, often asking for a matching design with you

best friend!connie who always pays for everything despite you constantly reminding him that you can pay for things yourself, saying that his grandma would roll in her grave knowing that he’s letting a pretty girl like you buy things with her own money

best friend!connie who likes catching you off guard when he compliments you which happens like all the time tbh

best friend!connie whose bald head makes him a perfect impromptu wig stand but when he gets bored of being your test subject, he’s quick to make you work for that wig by making you chase him for it 😭

best friend!connie who loves taking candid shots of you when you guys hang out with his captions being so ambiguous that people don’t know if you’re dating or not

best friend!connie who is your biggest hype man, always reposting your shit and changing his pfp to a pic you recently posted

best friend!connie who still calls you by your childhood nickname to this day, only saying your name when shit gets serious or when he wants to scare you.

best friend!connie who doesn’t reply when people ask if you guys are dating, preferring to let them believe what they want

best friend!connie who is the only person that knows you inside out and vice versa. he always knows when its time for you guys to head out from your body language

best friend!connie who feels slightly territorial when a guy approaches you to ask you out even though he knows you can hold your own

best friend!connie who always helps you detangle and style your hair when its wash day (i wish someone could do this 4 me omds 😔🙄)

best friend!connie who puts on your bonnet on your head when you’re too tired to do it yourself

best friend!connie who stays over at your house so much, he practically lives there, i mean he literally has a spare key to your house

best friend!connie who is always eating your food like damnn 😭

“con, how the hell have you been here for 3 days and managed to clear out our entire fridge??” you said staring at the fridge dumbfounded

“im a growing boy sweetheart i gotta eat! plus you know I’ll pay your mama back for the food i ate anyways” he replied with a smile

“i’m a growing boy, my ass.” you muttered to yourself storming out of the kitchen.

(dw connie bought you wingstop later that day to make it up to you.)

best friend!connie who will ride for you until the very end because you are one of the people outside his family that he actually cares for

best friend!connie who loves you more than you know and is grateful for your presence in his life

#attack on titan #x black fem reader #connie x reader #connie x black reader #looking for my connie in a world of flochs 😞#me and who #x black reader #aot #connie springer #i love him #vina writes: aot #black writblr

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slymewitch · 4 months

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I’ve been bottling up a lot of my feelings for a while now and I think I need to just talk about them. Im sorry if Im being a bother.

@f4y3w00d5 @gobodegoblin @monsterfucker-research-wizard @vivithecatgirl @the-necrobotanist @combustion-witch @good-wizard @ash-the-tiefling @the-moth-wizard-of-mayhem @drew-bard-for-hire @mango-lord-of-poison @selldemapplez @aroace-wizard @terrencetheshark14 @drewp1 @mersinia

I want to rp with you guys but I’m still scared. Back when I did do rp I felt like I was always either too slow to keep up or that I would be left behind. It’s none of you guys’ fault I just suck at stuff. But I’m ashamed to admit that part of me was jealous of how well you guys could roleplay, and how much you all contributed to the world. But it felt like whenever I tried to do something, anything, it would already be too late. Like I’d try to help solve a problem and by the time I actually got the chance to say anything the problem would be solved already and I’d feel useless. And even when I started my own stuff it would suck, and I always ended up retconning it, and I feel so deep in my own bullshit that I don’t want to put you guys through the trouble of cleaning it up. I thought if I died in rp and there was no more pressure to rp anymore, that I’d be happier, but now I’m even more jealous, and I have nothing to talk about with anyone. But after a month, I know I’ll never be able to catch up. There’s more people who I don’t recognize now and I’m scared they’ll hate me. And every day feels even more too late to start again, I don’t want to go back to being dead weight like I always was and knew I’ll be again, but the jealousy I feel eats away at me. I don’t want to be on this break anymore but I know if I come back I’ll be useless just like I was before. I want to have fun with you all but I’m worried that it’ll come at the cost of your fun. This shouldn’t be as big of a deal to me as it is but it just feels that way to me. I’ve been left out of things my whole life and the one time I’m actually welcomed into something I suck at it and my own fear drives me away from it. With how much I’ve been excluded it’s almost triggering how much I felt excluded before and exclusing myself on my own terms only made me feel worse. I’m scared and angry and I have no right to feel either. I’m angry that I feel so jealous and I feel selfish for even wanting to come back. Even for this post Im angry at myself because I feel like I’m dampening the experience for all of you by exposing you to my pathetic feelings. And even more than that I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you all. After I died I just stopped talking here mostly and I feel like a piece of shit for that but without rp I didnt know what else to talk about, and so I feel like I abandoned you guys. I’m scared that you’ll all just forget about me, or that if I come back you’ll wish I wasn’t here. I’m scared that the new rpers will wish I wasn’t here. I’m scared you’re all happier without me. And I’m scared that by reading this you’ll think less of me, that you’ll think I’m blaming you all and that you’ll leave me behind because you’ll realize from this that I’m crazy and that I’m not worth the effort just like I know I’m not. Please don’t think less of me. I love you guys. I’m sorry for all this trouble, and I’m sorry that I need to ask for help. Please help me. I don’t know how but please help me. I don’t think I can help myself because I’ve already tried.

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caitibugzz · 1 year

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I could listen to you talk for hours about your interests and your views on self love, etc. I know that a little while back, you posted in here about you struggling with mental health recently, and I just hope you know if you ever need to take a break from content creation of streaming, we are all here for you. I love you parasocially<33

thank you so much!!!

I struggle a lot, and most of the things i preach about in the internet, self love, body image, etc, are things i feel like i need to hear.

i struggle so much with self love. i of course love myself, because who else to love me if not me? i love how my hair matched the miles all over my body and the way my smile curls. but i’m still so insecure, and that’s something that’s so hard to get over. i love myself, but i’m scared to. and with my health issues, i struggle a lot with eating and my body and everything just works against me sometimes.

i struggle with so much stuff mentally man, sometimes i feel like i’m unsalvageable. i mean, depression, anxiety, ocd, chronic illness, sensory issues, severe paranoia. sometimes i feel like my brain is going to explode.

and you guys get it, i mean waking fyp and not wanting to do anything, that empty feeling. the sad feels, the anxious feelings. it’s a lot right?

it makes me sad, taking breaks, not posting as much, because i want to be there for you guys. what i think scares me the most is… i’ve always been like this. what if i can never get any of it under control, what if i can never be there for you guys like i want to. but i feel like we put too much pressure on ourselves as humans. i mean, i was 16 worrying about streaming everyday, posting everyday on 3 different tiktoks, like. all because i had this fear of amounting to nothing, of all my work amounting to nothing.

but like.. it’s okay if it does, you know? like it’s okay if ur unremarkable, you don’t have to be something grand, you just have to live, yk? like you’ll figure it out, you’ll do something and you’ll look at the stars every once and a while and i hope one day you’ll realize it’s enough. like, your enough.

i forgot that i think. i’ve plagued my life with this idea of being something amazing otherwise i was worthless. like if it all amounted to nothing i don’t know what i’d do, but like. i was 16, i mean i was just a kid. i think kids should be allowed to just stare at the sky and maybe just play the guitar a little and just learn to be a person, and like, that’s enough you know? i feel like i never learned to heal, i feel like i’m still 16 sometimes. i think we owe it to ourselves to just sit in the grass and eat a pbj and let that be enough. i feel like as long as you impact just one person in your life, even if it’s yourself, you’ve done enough.

im glad to say i think i’m one of the lucky ones who was able to impact a little more than just one person, i hope you all are kind to yourself and not so hard, we are all just children inside.

i know you guys are here for me, but i need to start being here for me too. and one day, if i’m not around, i hope you guys can be there for yourselves. you know, be your own sun. you guys owe it to me.

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sigmxnd · 1 month

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okay poll is saying yes so im going for it (this is gonna get very rambly and might not all connect or be coherent but oh well)

i've realized i love taking my favorite characters and putting a bunch of the same hcs to them cause i like making my favorites more like me

i know why this happens, its cause im silly and i look at these characters and my brain just goes "i like that" and then i just ARYARAYAEAGA4AYA and get rabies, but also like a lot of the time i look at these characters that more often than not i see myself in them

these stupid dumb dirt eating rebellious evil losers just exist and i see stuff happen to them for the plot and i just go "i see you. i know you. you're just like me fr" but they aren't real so they don't know i understand them but yknow

but at the same time its always an internal battle cause i percieve other people's opinions and hcs all the time, but at the same time i'm so utterly terrified of sharing most of my stuff and my own hcs that i'm not confident in for fear of being percieved and having someone else think I'M weird. and yeah i am weird but i don't wanna be seen as like. bad weird

i just recently shared that i hc mike and zeke as being autistic, cause as a peer reviewed autistic i find it extremely comforting and it makes me super happy to think of them like that, but like they're not the only ones i think of that way. it's pretty much all of them that i think of that way, which makes sense, but idk it makes me feel a lil weird

ik i can do whatever i want (within reason) but it feels almost strange to do all this when i currently don't even have access to the rest of the td seasons AND there's not a lot of hc differences between them, and it feels cringe or something idk

but anyway i love making jokes about how i am absolutely INFATUATED😍✨️‼️ with both duncan and scott and i hate courtney with such a burning seething passion. she was so mean to both of them, i can fix them (or also make them worse. i could do that for funzies)

tl;dr: I'M CRAZY I'M OFF THE WALLS I'M NUTS I'M BONKERS I'M SILLY I'M GOOFY I'M WACKY I'M SO UTTERLY GOOBERISH (i'm scared to talk about all of my hcs for my favorites out of fear of people looking at me with their EYES, and probably something else. sorry guys my own post doesn't even make sense to me)

sigmund silly sessions will happen again, this was fun to just vomit my thoughts

#total drama #tdi #tdroti #shitpost #ramblings #text #td duncan #td scott #sigmund silly sessions?!?

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othystt · 10 months

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okay so @whatacreepything im putting this in a separate post because of how long is got but basically ive been playing around with the idea that instead of going to a literal "hell" in your dream with like fire and shit, everyone has their own personal hell that revolves around their own flaws/sins/fears

we see kevin's as the stereotypical "hell" because of how he views things in such plain black and white. for kevin, what scares him the most is the idea of disappointing Heavenly Father and his peers and that he isn't a good mormon. so kevin turns into a bad mormon: his uniform and garments are ratty and not taken care of, he's dirty (mormons have a strict hygiene rule), he's defacing his book of mormon and breaking all the rules, etc etc. this is why we see him drink coffee, get reprimanded by jesus, have metaphors for being gay, etc, in his helldream because they all represent what mormonism goes against.

connor's greatest fear is giving into the temptation of his sin of (what mormons like to call) "same-sex attraction." he presents more flamboyantly and wears tight and revealing clothing, makeup, etc—all the things he's been taught would make him "effeminate" and "weak." however i ALSO like to think his actual hell is him fantasizing about the beach with steve/kevin like he talks about in Turn it Off, but they arent the real versions of themselves. theyre weirdly twisted, etc, and the whole atmosphere feels wrong, until steve/kevin eventually do something fucked up and connor gets dragged under the water and down to hell. (i touch on this in my fic we don't deserve love on ao3)

as for arnold i dont really think he has regular helldreams for a few reasons. arnold's parents are relatively softer than connor and kevin's as you can see in the beginning of the show (his mother especially) and we know that he has never read the book of mormon and is super hyperfixated on all his fav medias which further proves the point his parents arent strict. if they were strict then they wouldnt let him focus on all his favourite things and disregard the BOM. however, arnold's dad is more pushy about it (again we can see that at the beginning) with how he talks about his dad being "stuck" with him. so if arnold had a helldream that wasnt the stereotypical hell because of all his fantasies, i feel as if it might be an unending office building or maybe even an empty church to signify how he thinks a world with something boring like an office job or the book of mormon is boring and he wouldnt want to live in it. hes also disappointed his father greatly in the dream

so yeah these are my thoughts on helldreams and stuff lmk what you think hehe. i loooove talking about headcanons/my aus/fics etc so my inbox is always open you guys

#bom character analysis #long post #tbom #bom #the book of mormon #book of mormon #book of mormon musical #kevin price #elder price #connor mckinley #elder mckinley #arbold cunningham #elder cunningham

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s0lar-ch3ri · 10 months

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apologies for being less active now, school started up like a bitch (take a thinkies post, possible spoilers ahead)

what if gill and chip like swapped "moral" codes in a sense. gillion lies about who he is and what the underseas like and shit as to hide from the truth and out of fear for what happens if he doesnt (could also be some form of rebellion of the elders treatment of him). hes still a heroic and "honorable" to the public eye, yet he has a bit more fear. fear that his friends will find out and he'll be exiled again but it will feel oh so much worse because as time goes on it eats away at gill more that hes getting closer to them so he has more to lose. fear that one day hell have to pick between the truth or someones life or something and at first, while theres a little doubt, he feels confident that hed sacrifice them for his sharade to be kept. but, as gillion keeps being the hero, the lovable "idiot" (GILLION IS NOT AN IDIOT HES JUST CONFUSED ON OVERSEA CULTURE NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OF HIM ALRIGHT??), he wants to actually be the character he plays, because he wants to go back to (or actually be, up to you) being an undersea hero, maybe even just a hero for both worlds, and he no longer can find himself able to sacrifice one for his own safety/comfort, and it scares him how much hes changing. yet, he'd keep lying, because the one with nothing to lose doesnt want his "only" strength to be proven false too.

and chip? why would he be more honest? he probably wouldnt, lets be honest, hes chip bastard for asters sake! well, maybe he could lie less, but i doubt hed give it up entirely. so how would he work? well, with how much others have helped him not just survive but live, he finds it more comforting to put trust in them. he'd lie to protect others, hed lie to get out of a situation where theyre in danger, but he doesnt prefer it. he chooses trust, not exactly blind but by the gut feelings (to add some mystery around niklaus, hed be one of the few people he couldnt find a single trusting vibe) he uses like a compass. is he still a bit of a coward? absolutely! he could even be seen as a bit more careless with it, thinking more how to get this to end with all them safe rather then keeping them safe in the moment.

the reason they duel? obvious of course, but gillion is revealed to have lied. some gamble in the casino battle causes gillion to have to say it. and chip is fucking stunned, because he didnt have to help gillion. he didnt need to pick him up from the sea that day. how long was he lying to him, the captain (at that point, chip was indeed the captain) of the ship that gave him water for his gills? how long was he planning on keeping it? chip dioesnt care. the next day, he immedately confronts gillion for it. gillion says similar arguements he does in canon, but more so as reasoning as to why he did it rather then why chip shouldnt have. and chip isnt having a word of it.

im not sure if gill would still win, or by some magic, chip would win this time. each would be dramatic. gillion winning, yet not wanting to finish it, and chip telling him ("orders from your fucking captain gillion tidestrider." and when that doesnt work? "orders from your once friend gill.") that the only way hed let this slide is if he finished the job. chip winning by a thread, fueled only by rage at his betrayal, and he has gillion at the end of his sword and he looks into his eyes and just, "get off my ship, gillion. get out of here before i change my fucking mind with mercy." jay steps in, with her whole speech and everything, and everything plays out the same (yeah i could never change the hot sauce prank).

AND MAKE NO MISTAKE! CHIP STILL GIVES THE FLAG BOOBS AND THOSE KINDS OF PRANKS! thats just because the crew (every once in a while gill doesnt understand it) gets its a simple joke and its chip bastard! why wouldnt he?

these are my thoughts but you guys add your own shit to it id love to see it

#jrwishow #jrwi podcast #jrwi #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #just roll with it #jrwi spoilers #jrwi chip #jrwi gillion #gillion tidestrider #chip bastard #chip lastname #chip jrwi #fish and chips #jerwee supreme

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sessa23 · 2 years

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Revelations: Part 1 (thirteenth doctor x Dhawan!master x reader)

(Summary: it has been a week since the events of spyfall, you and the rest of the Doctor's companions are dropped off in Sheffield while the doctor seeks some answers but while she's off world seeking answers, the master comes to you with questions of his own.)

TW: Yelling, non consensual hypnotism/mass hypnosis,threatening behaviour

(Author's note: sorry guys 13 is not mentioned much in this part but next part she will be. Also I will advise that I still am currently working on other fics and will post when each part is done :) Anyway I hope you all enjoy this.)

A week had passed since the master's attempt to destroy the human race, you were in your university lecture room teaching a class. The Doctor said she needed to go and find some answers, alone and so you all decided to stay in Sheffield while she did this. You enjoyed your work, you walked and stood infront of your desk " today we will be discussing the House of Romanov, who can tell me the year that the Romanov's came to power?"

The class was silent until one of the students raised their hand. You indicated for the student to answer "1613" the student stated, nodding as you picked up the whiteboard marker. "That's correct Richard." You replied before you turned your back and walked over to the whiteboard. You then wrote that year on the board. "now when did the Romanov's dynasty come to an end?" suddenly the class went quiet, too quiet. "you're a professor...how adorable." A voice replied you turned and saw the master sitting on a chair in the back of the room, your students were frozen in place.

Your eyes widened as a gasp left your mouth "No! H...How did you escape the kassarvaan dimension?" The Master smiled "that's my secret." He spoke as he stood up. You looked at your students, their eyes glassy as they sat frozen in place. As you placed the whiteboard marker down on your desk, the master walked down towards the front of the room as you discreetly fiddled with your phone which was in your pocket.

"Don't even think about calling for help Y/N or none of these students will make it to their next class." The master had an evil smirk as he pulled the TCE from his jacket pocket.

"Are you mind controlling these students?" You questioned. The Master chuckled "it's not much effort, human minds are so easy to control, to mold. After all i hypnotised the entire country once, a classroom full of university students is nothing." He came closer to you "I can even make you do exactly what I want with just a few words." You gulped as his words sent shivers down your spine but you couldn't show fear, you had to think about your student's welfare, you had to at least pretend to not be scared.

"What do you want?" You asked He turned and looked at you "Use my name love, it's rude not to." Taking a deep breath as you spoke again "What do you want, master?" He walked over to a cabinet "I want to know how you figured out everything."

You turned to him "what do you mean?" You asked, he turned to you "how you figured out that I was not who I said I was. How you figured out the purpose of the silver lady and how you worked out that they had been testing humans for centuries."

You sighed "first rule of espionage is don't trust anyone and I've seen plenty of those movies. Also my inner voice said that there was something off about you but I just didn't know what." The master was looking in the cabinet "Your inner voice?" You sighed "my inner voice, my instincts" the master nodded. You put your hand on your hip "yes and it was correct." The master chuckled slightly "what is your inner voice telling you now?"

"That I should be calm, because you're Dangerous." The master turned to you "do you think you're being calm?" You nodded "Im being very calm,concidering that you tried to murder my friends and kill off the entire human race last week."

The Master tapped his fingers on the cabinet, tap. tap. tap. tap, he then looked up at you. You were not doing the same but some of your students were tapping their fingers on their desks. "Why are they doing that?" You asked, the master looked at the students "just some handiwork by my younger self." The master stopped the tapping before he turned to you. "Something about you interests me" the master replied as he looked at you.

You stepped back slightly."Yeah im good with technology, so are alot of people. I'm not special." He looked at you "but you used time lord technology, like it was second nature." He put a finger to his chin. You crossed your arms and glanced at your entranced students before looking back at the master "I've been travelling with the Doctor for a while now and I've watched her use various technologies, it's probably just a case of learning from her."

"You're one of the few humans that i actually like." He whispered, you raised an eyebrow "is that supposed to be a compliment?" The Master went to respond but he looked down at your notebook on your desk "What is that? That symbol...why do you have that symbol in your book?"

You looked down at the page and saw a symbol which you didn't recognise. "That is Seal of Rassilon, from Gallifrey." The master spoke as you quickly shut your book, you looked up at him "I don't know what that symbol is, I think i recall seeing it in the Doctor's TARDIS, I drew it when i was in the TARDIS, now that I think about it."

The master put his hand on the book "You still haven't answered my other questions. How did you figure out the purpose of the silver lady and how did you work out that they had been testing humans for centuries." His questions began to overlap with voices but you didn't know where they were coming from, a sharp pain formed in your head "I DON'T KNOW!" You yelled suddenly, your eyes widened when you realised that you had raised your voice.

Surprised, he master took his hand off the book "the fact that you don't know, makes you more interesting. I think we'll be seeing more of each other." You were silent for a moment "can you undo what you did to my students?" The Master nodded "they'll be released once I leave." Breathing a sigh of relief, your students would be okay.

"Oh and one more thing love." He trailed before grabbing your chin, forcing you to look at him. Once your eyes met his, you couldn't look away, all other noise faded away, your mind feeling foggy and all you could see were his beautiful brown eyes. "Don't tell the doctor or her pets that you've seen me again. Can't have them knowing I'm back yet." His voice echoing though your mind. You nodded "I won't tell them" Your voice, soft yet monotone.

The master had a smile form on his face "Good, so obedient for your master." Then the let go of your chin and turned away. You blinked as the foggy feeling faded and you came to your senses. "Oh look at the time, I really must go, see you again Y/N." The master pressed a button on his TCE and teleported away

"Professor L/N" a voice called you turned to your students "are you okay?" A student asked you, nodding as you took a breath "yes I'm okay" quickly picking up the whiteboard marker as if everything was normal "Now when did the Romanov dynasty come to an end? Bonus points if anyone can tell me what caused it to come to an end."

Meanwhile the master arrived back in his TARDIS, he leaned on the console his mind flashing back to the events of the week before. The encounter that he just had with you in conjunction with the events of last week made him have an idea, you didn't know why you figured out his plan but he was going to find out.

#doctor who #bbc doctor who #13th doctor #dhawan!master #the master #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #thriteenth doctor #thirteenth doctor x dhawan!master x reader #13th doctor x dhawan!master x reader #13th doctor x reader #dhawan!master x 13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #sessa20 fics

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terracomets · 5 months

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Omg Rusty... your mcsm ocs stink... they're so stinky.... they stink so bad that they're scaring me out of making my own ocs in fear of them being as stinky as yours.... frightening stink... terrifyingly smelly.... /s

guys dont you know im the MEANEST GUY EVER and im the only guy allowed to make mcsm ocs . did you know i actively look through the mcsm tag to bully people and i send those posts to my legion of Rusty Nationers and go GET THEM MY ARMY . i spent five years making misfit mania to specifically mold the mcsm fandom so i was the only one allowed to make ocs with lore . i love bullying people with my SCARY RABID FANBASE OF 227 FOLLOWERS !!!!

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almalvo · 1 year

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STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E5 "Choose Your Pain"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

yeah i still dont like a black woman being "someone to fear burnham" idk guess we'll see. hmm i feel like there could be something in that telescope oml this view into the bridge and other facilities onboard discovery at the start of this episode is SO PRETTYYY let me LIVE. there. oh this is weird oh so space bear gets the titty stab but not burnham XD ofc ofc awww space bear depressed let him outttt id be depressed too, stuck in there with only a slop bucket and no moss in sight :/

ayyyyeee vulcan aboardd also why katrina's eyes are so red is she ok? bruh i been preoccupied by tardigrades too um ok lorca, mr. isaac clarke over here with your eye stabbery i kinda like lorca's face. hes so "f everything idgaf" oh my god the scale of the ship next to the shuttlepod

beat em up oh crap hmm hes gone so acting captain'll be saru thatll be interesting ugh i love this intro theres this feeling of utter suspension hearing and seeing it ugh seeing discovery fly through all these things and spin its so nice ugh the handssssssssssss i love the measurements and all these things and the constellations left behind ugh so much to see look at saruuuu cant wait till he frkn understands burnham's previous decisions and can stop treating her so blah i love his eyes WHO ARCHER JONATHAN AAAA PIKE CHRISTOPHER OH FUCKKKKK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND THEN IT WILL BE you know. you know. YOU. KNOW. oh my god ok shaking okokokokok MUDD DID YOU JUST SAY YOUR NAME IS MUDD MUDDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh my god this is so cool

oh dang. this poor guy. he was just in there to get foot in face. you sure are mudd. you sure do do that survivin. hi stamets. lmaooooo he knows hes brilliant - get it stamets own that shit it is kind of odd hearing burnham say such praise haha oh yeah its all BURNHAMS fault uhuh. cool to see some lone captain scenes its so odd to see such serious lighting in a trek production. listen. this is still all so NEW to me k. this guy ash tyler is pretty what is that its cute but also id be way to scared to come anywhere near that thing ughhh this outside shot of ncc discovery is so PRETTY thats so interesting? warp freeways because of space shrooms. damn. im with it.

DI DID DID DID THE THEY USE THE F WORD ON S T A R T R E K ???? DID THEY FUCKING USE THE FUCKING F BOMB ON FUCKING STAR TREK, ON THE FUCKING STAR TREK ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW HOLY FUCK I DID NOT I DID NOT HEAR THAT. my fucking mandible fell off when i heard that. i cannot believe what i just witnessed. i cannot believe my ears. not even AOS did the "fuck". oh my god "fuck" is canon in trek. that brought tears to my eyes hang on yall holy. shit… ima table that cuz i cant get over that idk when i can wow

saru has the perfect voice its so saru. its really cool to see his face like this the prosthetic is so great. it looks more real than (almost) anything pure cgi. cuz it IS real. i love it. beautiful example of practical effects. beautiful execution. also sorry but "predator"? really…? i dont appreciate burnham's treatment at all when its already bad enough that black women are almost always represented racially or with such a societal disdain cuz fucking EVERYONE hates black women. it is what critically annoys me in this series above all else so far :/ also sorry but WHAT THE FUCK DID STEWART DO HOW DARE YOU FUCKING THROW IT FUCK. YOU.

#LorcaNotMyCaptain

ugh not again with the titty stabbers. dude. this is slavery. let the fucking space bear go. look what you did to it. he shriveled up to survive. i HATE the treatment of other lifeforms in this series so far. CRACK IT OPEN? fuck you saru. fuck you too stamets. man everyone is so unlikeable. thats another issue i have in this show so far almost everyone is unlikeable af.

i didnt get to know phillipa that much so not much to say. burnham is so standoffish, idk if we have anough time to unravel her dimensionally. sylvia is kind of more annoying than endearing. lorca is lorca. ofc i dont like him (except i DO like an unperfect captain - i just wonder if hes redeemable). stamets is so catty like i get it yes be proud of your ideas that people might be ignorant towards but bruh still theres not enough good quality to counterbalance it so far. saru looks cool sure but hes so blatantly crass towards even other non-human lifeforms when he himself is non-human, cuz sry all that "crack it open" bullshit is gross af, desperation or not. i would NOT want him as my acting captain, ill say that, no matter how pretty he might be. i like ash tyler the most so far. i mean i get it its only episode 5 of 15 in s1 of 5 seasons - but still maybe im not too used to this many characters simultaneously being difficult to connect with. im gonna wait and see if this all develops. saru's feet. are hooflike his hands are so expressive his shape is so hes so lank. im SO impressed with how amazing he looks up close. i can SEE the subsurface scattering of his skin and the blood in his veins yeah please. we need this small talk with saru. thanks. k. i needed to see this redemptive quality in saru and co. cuz the getgo, everyones so adverse to alignment and connectivity

poor space bear i really hope you will be happy out there, mossie. youre FREEEE oh my god. space bear just warped. oh my god WARPING space bear. i need a plushie of it. mossie. stamets and doc. they gay for each other. they hubbies. they are literally brushing teeth together. yeuip. they gay. mhm. for sure. wow. first ever fucking explicitly gay couple in star trek. and it took this FUCKING long. i aint talking about TOS yall, we all know the love story that is the first 4 seasons + 6 classic films + 3 alternate reality films of Star Trek k - i just mean very literal and established archetypically, that makes sense. about fucking time. IDIC is literally mother gay but this took half an entire century to fucking show a gay couple onscreen. fuck me. k well. SNW Season 2 and 3, dont let us down. Im going to fucking die if theres even a wisp of something near Lower Deck's "K+S" carving scene. i digress.

alright DISCO, ima see how you unpack all this universal animosity, cuz damn are you thick with it in the first entire third of your first season.

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo

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orowyrm · 2 years

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brooo do you have a laz lore master post i wanna see more about this guy . blorbo from my person i follow on tumblr

waaa im so glad u like him!!!!!! his lore is kinda.....scattered all over unfortunately hdsjnkfdjkfn im very unorganized. the main big posts that ive made about him in recent memory that i havent accidentally retconned are here (eternalism bullshit and how the his drifter and operator selves tie into the version we know and love) here (answering a bunch of questions about him) aaaaaaaaaand here (explaining a little bit about how his oculus and void echolocation works)

his tag is kinda sparsely populated cuz a lot of his character building has been happening behind the scenes and i havent shared much due to being forgetful as hell and for the longest time sorta just assuming nobody cared about him but me lmao BUT i can give you a rundown of everything ive got so far: (it's gonna be long, sorry in advance)

on the zariman, he was separated from the other kids and ended up hiding in a ventilation shaft to avoid the adults. he hid so well, in fact, that the orokin actually almost missed him entirely and nearly left him there when they were collecting the tenno after the void jump. he was so paralyzed by fear and pain that at first, they had assumed he was a corpse, and only realized otherwise when he freaked the hell out and blew a massive hole through the poor bastard they sent to go drag him out of the vents.

in the aftermath of the zariman and for most of the old war, he was sort of just... squirreled away and treated more like a feral animal than a kid. he was jumpy and uncooperative, his connection to the void was strong enough that he could do some serious damage when startled, and he didn't remember most of his life before the zariman incident at all, so he was difficult to reason with and in their eyes a waste of time. he didn't even remember his own name, so they called him 'Lazarus' as a reference to the fact that he was assumed to be dead when first recovered, and seemed to be pretty good at surviving against the odds. eventually he just accepted this as his name.

im not entirely sure if margulis knew about him or not... i feel as though she would want to help him, but he probably wouldn't trust her one bit. ive been tempted to go all in and say he couldve been the tenno who accidentally blinded her, which would lend credence to why the orokin felt the need to isolate him so thoroughly from everyone else, but i dont know if im gonna commit to that. as far as being a 'weaponized' tenno, he was treated as sort of a last resort.

he only had the one frame during the old war - he was paired off with a particularly uncooperative umbral ash that they weren't sure would even be able to be 'controlled', but despite most of the handlers assuming theyd tear eachother to shreds, they ended up sharing a really close bond. This ash is his primary frame, Styx! styx is like a father to him, really. they only ever had eachother for a very very long time.

he only ever saw combat once before the war ended. the orokin were getting desperate, and threw pretty much everyone they had at a particular area-- including laz. he had no idea what to do with himself, but he was suddenly outside of his 'room' (more of a holding cell, to be frank) for the first time in years, so he did what any sensible scared kid would do-- he ran for his fucking life. before his handlers realized where he'd gone and tried to interrupt his transference to his frame, he transferred out of his chair completely and essentially escaped for good. they assumed he wouldnt survive on his own and marked it down as a loss, but he was ultimately forgotten. one less little void demon to deal with, really.

he ran for a long time, just sorta trying to get as far away from anything and everything orokin as he possibly could, but too afraid of being recaptured to dare trust anyone he met along the way. at some point before the end of the war, he had a run-in with a lone sentient that cornered him, and he had no choice but to try and defend himself.

he lost this fight. the sentient very much killed him, but in his final moments, all of the void energy trapped inside his body was released like a bomb going off, which killed the sentient pretty much instantly. the implosion also created a weird little pocket void of sorts that pulled in his body and the bits and pieces of the sentient that were left behind. slowly, over the years, the void pieced him back together, replacing whatever was destroyed with pieces of sentient technology, essentially creating the first amalgam.

the entire time laz was in his void coma, styx was helpless to retrieve him. he knew he wasn't gone - he could still feel his presence - but he couldn't get through to him.... so he waited. and waited. and waited some more. eventually, the ruined old building they'd been in all but collapsed, plants began to grow through the foundation, his joints began to rust and his blades tarnished. grineer and corpus and infested alike discovered the place over the years and all were promptly slaughtered in fits of protective rage. by the time another tenno stumbled across his resting place, the old war was ancient history, and the lotus had already located and awakened most of her children-- but laz had never had a chance to form that connection with her. he barely knew margulis, let alone natah.

the tenno who eventually found him and woke him up was none other than @helmofhades' specialest boy Rigel! they have a very special relationship. i love them both deeply. by the time rigel had found him, he'd been mostly put back together-- but the somatic scars on his face had progressed to the point where his eyes were damaged beyond repair. rigel and the other tenno who eventually made up their little clan helped him get back on his feet and adjust to this strange new world he found himself in.

laz and rigel are basically married if it wasnt obvious already. they are boy best friends <3

he went through the main story quest more or less the same as happens in the game, although he never really had a very close connection with the lotus and was more wary of her and confused by her for than anything for a very long time-- at least until the new war, anyway

the drifter and the operator are two separate entities - but there's also a third, completely separate laz who is basically a conglomerate of all of his alternate selves. i call this special third guy 'laz prime' to make life easier for myself, but neither of them are any more 'real' than the others.

operator laz is him but in babymode. nothing much else to that. hes just a little guy, and its his birthday, hes a little birthday boy!!!

drifter laz i uh... kinda havent touched on much. im waiting for duviri to drop so i can really get into the nitty gritty of all the time loop bullshit. hes kinda a bitter asshole though. not that i blame him.

laz prime is the funny guy i post about so much!!!! after the cutscene in the new war where the drifter and operator meet, neither of those two actually LEAVE that dormizone, at least not in the version of reality we see-- their meeting causes laz prime to just sorta... start existing! he remembers being both of them, although only vaguely. it's him who finishes the quest, and it's him who eventually returns to the zariman for the angels update and all that fun stuff. im sure driftlaz and oplaz are still out there, doing their own thing, but i havent the slightest clue what that may be.

laz prime is more severely amalgamated than either of his counterparts-- while theyve got the horns, hooves, and claws, laz prime takes it up a notch with an extra set of arms and a tail! he's also absurdly huge.

he has a cane to help with the mobility issues caused by having to balance on those teeny tiny itty bitty stick legs-- it's actually a little sentient! he calls it a mobilyst. it's his little buddy. i really like it

laz prime can't really use amps in the traditional way, considering his sentient parts react very poorly to large concentrations of void energy. he pieces together makeshift weapons with cores and fragments he scavenges from other sentients or amalgams that he kills to make up for it. he can also breathe void-fire, but he doesn't do that very often because it singes his scruffy little beard :( love loses

his lack of ability to effectively channel amps makes him VERRRY very interested in traditional weaponry. he's especially fond of incarnons-- JUST because theyre cool weapons. no other reason. none at all. unrelated, but do you think cavalero likes men? asking for a friend.

#TUMBLR YELLED AT ME FOR MAKING THIS POST TOO LONG LMFAO SO I HAD TO CUT IT SHORT #OOPSIES!!!!!#anyway i hope this doesnt break i poured my heart and soul into it. thank you anon for caring about him #long post #ocs #laz

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