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submissivegayfrenchboy · 2 months

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What's your favourite movies?

21 / 03 / 2024

🇺🇲🇬🇧 ENGLISH / ANGLAIS 🇺🇲🇬🇧

ASK ANSWERED

Thank you very much for this question which shows an interest in who I am as a person and not just the gay author in me.

I have already said that my blog is mainly made for sexual stories, but this blog remains on fiction, with themes that I try to make varied, but which are united by the theme of submission / humiliation.

Nevertheless I remain a person who has passions and centers of interest apart from my sexual desires.

I really like literature, cinema and television series. These are artistic forms allowing the expression of visual and emotional creativity because literary and cinematographic works, but also pictorial and musical, make it possible to disseminate social / political messages or transmit emotions. I would live even worse if there was no art in my life. The question asked was about my favorite movies.

I may be a cinephile, but certain types of films appeal to me far more than others. My favorite genres are romantic comedies and musicals but also comedies (in the humorous sense of the term), as well as animated films, historical films, superhero films, adventure films and fantasy films / science fiction (I know they're two very different genres, but I'm putting them together because I don't like all movies from each of these two genres). I also like investigative films (those in which there is a mystery to be solved).

The cinematographic genres that I like the least are cops films, westerns, horror films, and war films (it depends on the subject, the period, the actors...). I'm not saying that I like any films of these genres, but that these films do not meet the criteria that make me like a film.

For me, a film should be smart (make you think), funny (make you laugh), move (make you cry) - or at least one of these things - and it's better if it looks good. For a film to please me, there must be at least one main female character, a love story (a couple that is formed or that has been present since the beginning), and I attach great importance to costumes.

That being said, here is the non-exhaustive list of those which are currently my favorite films.

MY FAVORITE ANIMATED FILM

SLEEPING BEAUTY (1959)

My favorite animated film will come as no surprise to those who know me and have read my blog. I really like the Disney universe, all Disney films in general. However, Sleeping Beauty will always be the one that will make me dream the most and will move me the most. Yes, I recognize its flaws: slowness, holes in the script (Maleficent's motivations remain obscure), a tone that oscillates too much between childish and horrific moments, main characters who don't have enough lines of dialogue, songs not memorable enough....

Yes, and yet this film is in my opinion the most beautiful of the Disney films, the characters are very well animated and the designer Marc Davis did an excellent job animating Princess Aurora, her mother the Queen Leah, and of course the evil fairy Maleficent. Eyvind Earl created such realistic backgrounds that I really felt as a kid that this story could be real. The more believable the context (a marriage arranged for political reasons, a realistic setting...) the more one believes in magic elements.

This film is beautiful (for the sets and the characters), but also funny (the animals, the fairies, the Kings...) and terrifying (the spindle scene, the dragon scene,...) but also moving (the romance, Aurore's family drama...). I find that Aurore and Philippe are the two most beautiful Disney characters in terms of beauty, they form a beautiful couple but are two very good characters each on their side.

I think I particularly like this film already because it is the one I saw the most in my childhood, but also because it gave me values and I have admiration for the main couple. It is often said that Princess Aurora is not a good role model for girls, but why is it not admitted that Philippe is a good one for boys? Prince Philippe was one of my first crushes, for his beauty, his strength and his humor. Above all, I admire him because he fights for love, and is ready to give up power to marry the one he loves.

But you know my admiration for this character if you have read my story about him, which I give you the link here.

The one I haven't talked about enough is Princess Aurora. The eponymous heroine of the film is a character who attracts me for her beauty and her beautiful voice, but also whom I admire for her sense of sacrifice.

Unlike Prince Philippe, Aurore renounces love out of political duty, proving that she is a true leader as she puts the safety of her people before her personal happiness. When I was a teenager, I had trouble keeping friends but above all I was bullied so it made me lonely (like Aurore) while I'm rather happy and outgoing (like Philippe). So I understood the loneliness that weighed on Aurore and her desire to find love.

I also really like the character of the fairy Fauna. Good and Love triumph, and there is no need to fully identify with the characters to appreciate them. This is something that has changed over time: nowadays Disney characters are so much like the spectators that they don't have their own identity.

Growing up, I learned to appreciate this film more for the story of its creation, the work behind the camera, even if no rehabilitation of Sleeping Beauty (even by Disney, even if Maleficent - Mistress of Evil (2019) was a good film) will not be able to seduce me as much as this version, especially since the music of the ballet by the Russian composer Tchaikovsky corresponds perfectly to the film.

I also really like the animated film ANASTASIA for its drawings, its story (even if it is indeed not historical), the main couple, the songs (I know some of them by heart 😅), the multiple scenes of successful action, the villain Raspooutine as funny as it is terrifying... The character of Anastasia is moving and funny, she wears beautiful outfits, has a real evolution, we are moved by her quest to which we can identify (find who we are, knowing where we come from...).

- MY FAVORITE MUSICAL -

My favorite musical film is HAIRSPRAY, with Amanda BYNES, the very handsome James MARSDEN, the cute Zac EFRON in one of his first roles, the sparkling Queen LATIFAH, the iconic Michelle PFEIFFER, and of course the hilarious John TRAVOLTA! The heroine, Tracy, is a plump 1959s Baltimore girl whose father sells gadgets and mother (John TRAVOLTA) is a stay-at-home mom. She falls in love with a popular boy (Zac EFRON) while her best friend (Amanda BYNES) loves a black boy. The film deals with several subjects: self-acceptance, of the person you fall in love with, of others (racism),...

The costumes and sets are very good, each character has their song and their moment to shine , We're not bored. The songs are catchy and the humor is well dosed so that there is also emotion. If you don't feel like dancing while watching this film, I can't do anything for you!

- MY FAVORITE ADVENTURE MOVIE -

My favorite adventure movie is without hesitation PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN ! I obviously like the saga as a whole, because the characters evolve and live different adventures (although sometimes similar from one film to another). However, the first part of the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN saga has this particular flavor, which is that it is one of the few films better than its sequels. Yes, the first film can be seen and appreciated without forcing oneself to see the others because the end is satisfying for the characters.

MY FAVORITE COMEDY

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC

The film to watch to laugh and unwind, because the sensitive subject of financial spending is handled accurately, the romantic story is moving and credible, there are plenty of funny scenes, the heroine Rebecca Bloomwood is a role model because she learns about herself.

Adapted from novels, this film is funny, full of good feelings and the actress is great. If you are not feeling well, this is the film to watch to cheer yourself up.

MY FAVORITE FEEL GOOD MOVIE

ENCHANTED (2007)

Enchanted is not officially a feel good movie, it is a musical, romantic comedy, but for me it is the film to see when you are feeling gloomy. This is the film you have to see to have hope, because if it reinforces the hope of finding love, it is not simplistic but rather realistic. Giselle is perfectly played by Amy Adams, James Marsden is super sexy in the role of Prince Edward and his scenes are all iconic, Patrick Dempsey is moving as Robert... The costumes, the songs, the villain, the humor... I could talk about it for hours, but if I had a film to recommend to you it would be this one (and my favorite movie, that you'll soon discover) !

- MY FAVORITE FRENCH MOVIE - MISS

Miss is my favorite French film. There are many French films that I like, but I really recommend watching this one. The story is that of a boy (gay, but it is neither specified nor important) who has dreamed since childhood of being elected Miss France. Having become an adult, he decides to make his dream come true and his journey will be strewn with obstacles... I like this film because it is funny, there is a gallery of funny characters, and what's more it is moving and sensitive, with a beautiful message about acceptance of oneself (and others). Actor Alexandre Wettler, a non-binary model, is as credible as he is moving. On top of that, it's one of the first times we've done humor around the world of beauty pageants.

This film might remind some of the film Little Miss Sunshine, in terms of the trajectory of the two main characters. This film manages to question gender and homophobia but with humor and emotion

And another French movies i realm enjoy are the saga ANGÉLIQUE, 5 movies adapted from French novels, telling the story of a fictional noblewoman during Louis 14th's reign. You must watch them, there is a lot of action, the dialogues and costumes are amazing, the actress Michèle Mercier is stunning and her character is so inspiring, and the men she loves are so gorgeous that i may ask you who is your favorite 😉😏

MY FAVORITE SCIENCE-FICTION MOVIE

STAR WARS III - REVENGE OF THE SITH

The most moving and thrilling of the saga, the resolution of the intrigues of the prelogy, unforgettable scenes, incredible costumes, a perfect transition to the original saga... I love this film as such, and it is my Favorite Star Wars.

THE MOVIE I FELT THE MOST EMOTIONS

BABYLON

It's an amazing movie, i yelled, cried, laughed, panicked... It was really clever and beautiful to see, the actors were amazing as much as the costumes and the music, the rhythm and the editing. A masterpiece 👌

MY FAVORITE HISTORICAL MOVIE

BELLE (2013) by Amada Asante is a historical film that tells part of the life of Dido "Elizabeth" Belle (played by Gugu MBatha-Raw), a young mulatto from the English nobility in the 18th century. I like this movie because it doesn't require prior historical knowledge to enjoy it. The film emphasizes the influence that Dido Elizabeth "Belle" probably had in the rendering of a judicial decision in the context of the slave trade.

This story is beautiful because it is based on facts, but everything is done to immerse us in the intimacy of the main character. Belle faces the racism of the time but also the difficulty of being loved for herself because she is in the paradoxical situation of being black but rich, from a noble family but without a title. A magnificent love story is created between her and a pastor's son...

If you're a fan of period movies with fancy dress and drama, you're going to love this movie. For my part, I think it's the best or one of the best historical films because it manages to remain universal while being anchored in a precise period. (This film is available on Disney+).

MY FOREVER FAVORITE MOVIE

The movie THE DUCHESS is my favorite movie. It has everything I like: beautiful costumes, endearing characters, a gripping story, well-written dialogues, beautiful music, emotion, etc. The historical context is not too present to focus on the story of the film, which tells that of Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire at the end of the 18th century.

I could have talked about these movies for so long, and about so many movies, but I'm interested to know what are your favorite movies and what you think of mines, if you saw or liked some of them. See you soon 😉

🎬🎞️🎬🎞️🎬🎞️🎬🎞️🎬🎞️🎬🎞️🎬🎞️🎬🎞️

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🇨🇵 FRANÇAIS / FRENCH 🇨🇵

Merci beaucoup pour cette question qui témoigne un intérêt pour qui je suis en tant que personne et pas juste l'auteur gay qui est en moi. J'ai déjà dit que mon blog est surtout fait pour des histoires sexuelles, mais ce blog reste sur des fictions, aux thèmes que j'essaye de rendre variés, mais qui sont unis par le thème de la soumission / humiliation.

Néanmoins je reste une personne qui a des passions et des centres d'intérêts en dehors de mes désirs sexuels.

J'aime énormément la littérature, le cinéma et les séries télévisées. Ce sont des formes artistiques permettant l'expression de la créativité visuelle et émotionnelle car les œuvres littéraires et cinématographiques, mais aussi picturale et musicales, permettent de diffuser des messages sociaux / politiques ou transmettre des émotions.

Je vivrais encore moins bien s'il n'y avait pas l'art dans ma vie. La question posée concernait mes films préférés. J'ai beau être cinéphile, certains types de films me plaisent largement plus que d'autres. Mes genres préférées sont les comédies romantiques et comédies musicales mais aussi les comédies (au sens humoristique du terme), ainsi que les films d'animation, les films historiques, les films de super héros, les films d'aventures et les films de fantasy / science-fiction (je sais que ce sont deux genres très différents, mais je les met ensemble car je n'aime pas tous les films de chacun de ces deux genres).

J'aime bien aussi les films d'enquêtes (ceux dans lesquels il y a un mystère à résoudre).

Les genres cinématographiques que j'aime le moins sont les films policiers, les westerns, les films d'horreurs, et les films de guerre (ça dépend du sujet, de la période, des acteurs...).

Je ne dis pas que j'aime aucun films de ces genres-là, mais que ces films ne remplissent pas les critères qui me font aimer un film. Pour moi un film doit être intelligent (faire réfléchir), drôle (faire rire), émouvoir (faire pleurer) - ou au moins l'une de ces choses - et c'est mieux s'il est beau à voir.

Pour qu'un film me plaise il faut qu'il y ait au moins un personnage féminin principal, une histoire d'amour (un couple qui se forme ou qui est présent depuis le début), et j'accorde une grande importance aux costumes.

Ceci étant dit, voici la liste non-exhaustive de ceux qui sont actuellement mes films préférés.

MON FILM D'ANIMATION PRÉFÉRÉ

Mon film d'animation préféré ne sera pas une surprise pour ceux qui me connaissent et qui ont lu mon blog. J'aime énormément l'univers Disney, tous les films Disney en général. Pourtant, La Belle Au Bois Dormant (1959) sera toujours celui qui me fera le plus rêver et va le plus m'émouvoir.

Oui, je reconnais ses défauts : des lenteurs, des trous dans le scénario (les motivations de Maléfique restent obscures), un ton qui oscille trop entre des moments enfantins et horrifiques, des personnages principaux qui n'ont pas assez de lignes de dialogues, des chansons pas assez mémorables....

Oui, et pourtant ce film est selon moi le plus beau des films Disney, les personnages sont très bien animés et le dessinateur Marc Davis a fait un excellent travail en animant la Princesse Aurore, sa mère la Reine Orhiane, et bien sûr la méchante fée Maléfique. Eyvind Earl a créé des arrières plans si réalistes que j'avais vraiment l'impression, quand j'étais enfant, que cette histoire puisse être réel. Plus le contexte est crédible (un mariage arrangé pour des raisons politiques, un décor réaliste...) et plus l'on croit aux éléments magiques.

Ce film est beau (pour les décors et les personnages), mais aussi drôle (les animaux, les fées, les Rois...) et terrifiant (la scène du fuseau, celle du dragon,...) mais aussi émouvant (la romance, le drame familial d'Aurore...).

Je trouve que Aurore et Philippe sont les deux plus beaux personnages Disney en terme de beauté, ils forment un beau couple mais sont deux très bons personnages chacun de leur côté. Je crois que j'aime particulièrement ce film déjà car il est celui que j'ai vu le plus dans mon enfance, mais aussi car il m'a apporté des valeurs et j'ai de l'admiration pour le couple principal.

On dit souvent que la Princesse Aurore n'est pas un bon rôle model pour les filles, mais pourquoi n'admet-on pas que Philippe en est un bon pour les garçons ? Le Prince Philippe a été l'un de mes premiers béguins, pour sa beauté, sa force et son humour. Surtout je l'admire car il se bat pour l'amour, et est prêt à renoncer au pouvoir pour épouser celle qu'il aime.

Mais vous connaissez mon admiration pour ce personnage si vous avez lu mon histoire sur lui, dont je vous remet le lien ici.

Celle dont je n'ai pas assez parlé c'est la Princesse Aurore. L'héroïne éponyme du film est un personnage qui m'attire pour sa beauté et sa belle voix, mais aussi que j'admire pour son sens du sacrifice.

À l'inverse du Prince Philippe, Aurore renonce à l'amour par devoir politique, prouvant qu'elle est une vraie dirigeante car elle fait passer la sécurité de son peuple avant son bonheur personnel.

Quand j'étais adolescent, j'avais du mal à garder des amis mais surtout j'ai été victime d'intimidation donc ça m'a rendu solitaire (comme Aurore) alors que je suis plutôt joyeux et extraverti (comme Philippe). Je comprenais donc la solitude qui pesait sur Aurore et son envie de trouver l'amour.

J'aime aussi beaucoup le personnage de la fée Paquerette.

Le Bien et l'Amour triomphent, et nul besoin de se reconnaître entièrement dans les personnages pour les apprécier. C'est quelque chose qui a changé avec le temps : de nos jours les personnages Disney ressemblent tellement aux spectateurs qu'ils n'ont plus vraiment d'identité propre.

En grandissant, j'ai appris à apprécier davantage ce film pour l'histoire de sa création, le travail fourni derrière la caméra, même si aucune réadaptation de La Belle Au Bois Dormant (même par Disney, même si Maléfique - Le Pouvoir du Mal (2019) était un bon film) ne pourra me séduire autant que cette version, surtout que la musique du ballet du compositeur russe Tchaïkovski correspond parfaitement au film.

J'aime aussi énormément le film d'animation ANASTASIA pour ses dessins, son histoire (même si elle n'est effectivement pas historique), le couple principal, les chansons (j'en connais certaines par cœur 😅), les multiples scènes d'action réussies, le méchant Raspooutine aussi drôle que terrifiant... Le personnage d'Anastasia est émouvant et drôle, elle porte de belles tenues, a une vraie évolution, on est ému par sa quête à laquelle on peut s'identifier (trouver qui l'on est, savoir d'où l'on vient...).

- MA COMÉDIE MUSICALE PRÉFÉRÉE -

Mon film comédie musicale préféré est HAIRSPRAY, avec Amanda BYNES, le très beau James MARSDEN, le mignon Zac EFRON dans l'un de ses premiers rôles, la pétillante Queen LATIFAH, l'iconique Michelle PFEIFFER, et évidemment l'hilarant John TRAVOLTA ! L'héroïne, Tracy, est une jeune fille ronde de Baltimore dans les années 1959 dont le père vend des gadgets et la mère (John TRAVOLTA) est mère au foyer. Elle tombe amoureuse d'un garçon populaire (Zac EFRON) tandis que sa meilleure amie (Amanda BYNES) aime un garçon noir. Le film traite de plusieurs sujets : acceptation de soi, de la personne dont l'on tombe amoureuse, des autres (le racisme),... Les costumes et les décors sont très bien, chaque personnage a sa chanson et son moment pour briller, on ne s'ennuie pas. Les chansons sont entraînantes et l'humour est bien dosé pour qu'il y ait aussi de l'émotion. Si vous n'avez pas envie de danser en voyant ce film, je ne peut rien pour vous !

- MON FILM D'AVENTURE PRÉFÉRÉ -

Mon film d'aventure préféré est sans hésitation PIRATES DES CARAÏBES ! J'aime évidemment la saga dans son ensemble, car les personnages évoluent et vivent des aventures différentes (quoique parfois similaires d'un film à l'autre). Pourtant, le premier volet de la saga PIRATES DES CARAÏBES a cette saveur particulière, qui est que c'est l'un des rares films meilleur que ses suites. Oui, le premier film peut se voir et s'apprécier sans se forcer à voir les autres car la fin est satisfaisante pour les personnages.

MON FILM FRANÇAIS PRÉFÉRÉ

Miss est mon film français préféré. Il y a de nombreux films français que j'aime bien, mais je vous conseille vraiment de visionner celui-ci. L'histoire est celle d'un garçon (gay, mais ce n'est ni précisé ni important) qui rêve depuis l'enfance d'être élu Miss France. Devenu adulte, il décide de réaliser son rêve et son parcours sera semé d'obstacles... J'aime ce film car il est drôle, il y a une galerie de personnages marrants, et en plus il est émouvant et sensible, avec un beau message sur l'acceptation de soi (et des autres). L'acteur Alexandre Wettler, un mannequin non-binaire, est aussi crédible qu'emouvant. En plus de ça, c'est l'une des premières fois que l'on fait de l'humour autour du monde des concours de beauté. Ce film pourrait rappeler à certains le film Little Miss Sunshine, pour ce qui est de la trajectoire des deux personnages principaux. Ce film parvient à questionner le genre et l'homophobie mais avec humour et émotion.

MON FILM DE SCIENCE FICTION PRÉFÉRÉ

STAR WARS III - LA REVANCHE DES SITH

Le plus émouvant et palpitant de la saga, la résolution des intrigues de la prélogie, des scènes inoubliables, des costumes incroyables, une transition parfaite vers la saga originale... J'adore ce film en tant que tel, et c'est mon Star Wars préfèré.

MA COMÉDIE SENTIMENTALE PRÉFÉRÉE

LES CONFESSIONS D'UNE ACCRO AU SHOPPING

Le film à voir pour rire et décompresser, car le sujet sensible de la dépense financière est traité avec justesse, l'histoire romantique est émouvante et crédible, il y a pleins de scènes cocasses, l'héroïne Rebecca Bloomwood est un modèle car elle apprend sur elle-même. Adapté de romans, ce film est drôle, plein de bons sentiments et l'actrice est géniale. Si vous n'allez pas bien, c'est le film à voir pour se remonter le moral.

MON FILM HISTORIQUE PRÉFÉRÉ

BELLE (2013) de Amada Asante est un film historique qui raconte une partie de la vie de Dido "Elizabeth" Belle (jouée par Gugu MBatha-Raw), une jeune mulâtre de la noblesse anglaise au XVIII ème siècle. J'aime ce film parce qu'il ne nécessite pas de connaissances historiques préalables pour l'apprécier. Le film met l'accent sur l'influence qu'a probablement eu Dido Elizabeth "Belle" dans le rendu d'une décision judiciaire dans le cadre du trafic d'esclaves. Cette histoire est belle car elle s'appuie sur des faits, mais tout est fait pour nous plonger dans l'intimité du personnage.

Cette histoire est belle car basée sur des faits, mais tout est fait pour nous plonger dans l'intimité du personnage principal. Belle fait face au racisme de l'époque mais aussi à la difficulté d'être aimée pour elle-même car elle est dans la situation paradoxale d'être noire mais riche, issue d'une famille noble mais sans titre. Une magnifique histoire d'amour se crée entre elle et le fils d'un pasteur...

Si vous êtes amateur de films d'époque avec déguisements et drames, vous allez adorer ce film. Pour ma part, je pense que c'est le meilleur ou l'un des meilleurs films historiques car il parvient à rester universel tout en étant ancré dans une période précise. (Ce film est disponible sur Disney+).

MON "FEEL GOOD MOVIE" PRÉFÉRÉ

IL ÉTAIT UNE FOIS (2007)

Il était une fois n'est pas officiellement un feel good movie, c'est une comédie musicale, comédie romantique, mais pour moi c'est le film à voir lorsqu'on se sent morose. C'est le film qu'il faut voir pour avoir l'espoir,d_1 car s'il conforte dans l'espérance de trouver l'amour, il n'est pas simpliste mais plutôt réaliste. Giselle est parfaitement jouée par Amy Adams, James Marsden est super sexy dans le rôle du Prince Edward et ses scènes sont toutes iconiques, Patrick Dempsey est émouvant en Robert... Les costumes, les chansons, la méchante, l'humour.... Je pourrais en parler des heures, mais si javais un film à vous conseiller ce serait celui-ci !

MON FILM PRÉFÉRÉ POUR TOUJOURS

Le film THE DUCHESS est mon film préféré. Il y a tout ce que j'aime : de beaux costumes, des personnages attachants, une histoire prenante, des dialogues bien écrits, de la belle musique, de l'émotion,.... Le contexte historique n'est pas trop présent pour se concentrer sur l'histoire du film, qui raconte celle de Georgiana Cavendish, Duchesse de Devonshire à la fin du XVIIIème siècle.

Je pourrais parler des heures de ces films et de tant d'autres mais dites moi plutôt vos films préférés et ce que vous pensez des miens, s'il y en a que vous avez vu et aimé. 😁

@leftprogrammingroadtripdean @tidodore2 @rainykpoptravelcreator @innerpiratefun @fartfagoutlet @awesomecrowdcontrol @chrisevansxmalereader @gayhopefullove @natashaxmarvelmen

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foilfreak · 3 years

Text

BEAUTY AND HER BEAST: Chapter 8

WARNING PLZ READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(AO3 Link Below:)

Several days had passed since Salvatore had sought out both his younger sisters, requesting items like jewelry or clothing they’d be willing to part with that Salvatore could gift to Nadine, as a sort of soft and informal introduction to ease the young woman’s mind and prove he meant her no harm.

The plan seems to be going rather well, as far as Salvatore can tell. Nadine found the gifts he’d laid out for her rather easily, and even correctly wondered if the person who lived here had left them for her purposefully. She seemed wary of the items for a time, though she seemed pretty wary of everything in the reservoir at the moment, but eventually she deemed them safe enough to accept, throwing the long white nightgown Salvatore had procured from Donna over her petit azure frame, and strapping the delicate golden locket Alcina had graciously donated around her neck.

Salvatore practically drooled when he first saw Nadine, slightly sheer satin nightgown flowing elegantly in the gentle afternoon breeze and golden chain glittering beautifully against her white speckled, ocean blue skin. She looked like a goddess, a true figure of pure ethereal power and beauty. Even the biting cold of winter wasn’t enough to touch the young woman, shielded and protected by her own glowing radiance.

Despite looking every bit like an other-worldly deity worthy of unending human devotion and worship, Nadine’s face held nothing but fear, anxiety, and loneliness as she aimlessly wandered the seemingly empty docks and windmills surrounding the reservior’s watery interior. An occasional dejected “hello?” still echoes out throughout the reservoir every few hours, growing less and less hopeful with each passing round of silence Salvatore spends hiding away from view.

The disfigured man’s heart twists and stabs in pain every time he cowers away from Nadine’s soft, anxious calls, desperately wanting to comfort the young woman in her moment of confusion and fear, but still so terrified of her inevitable reaction to his appearance that he finds himself unable to do anything but skitter shamefully to his room beneath the surface and try to drown her out with one of his old romance films.

How pitiful.

Salvatore spends much of his time lamenting and pitying himself over his soul crushing loneliness and his intense desire for a love of his own, and yet here he is, taking refuge in an old romance film while he hides himself away from the real woman he could be making his own romance film with, were he not a massive coward and a horrific freak of nature unworthy of anyone’s love and affection, of course. What a cruel irony it is, to have the one thing you want, more than anything else in the world, dangled just inches in front of your face, and yet knowing, before you’ve even tried, that it’ll never be yours.

Salvatore knows that no matter how much of a romance story this whole situation might seem like, Nadine will never be able to love him in the way the gorgeous women in the movies love their tall, dashing, dark-haired lover men. Not only was Salvatore the exact opposite of tall and dashing by literally everyone’s standards, but his patches of dry, greasy dark-hair did little to salvage the violent wreckage that was Salvatore’s whole appearance.

There was absolutely no way Nadine would ever be able to love someone as hideous as Salvatore, so perhaps the best thing to do would be to contact Miranda and inform her that, while he greatly enjoyed his gift, Salvatore didn’t feel he would be able to appreciate her in the way she deserved to be appreciated in all her beauty and wonder, and that perhaps it would be better for Mother Miranda to find better arrangements for her elsewhere.

“I-it’s for the b-best… i-i think… a-after all… Nadine… d-doesn’t want t-to live i-in a d-dingy place… l-like this for… for the r-rest of h-her… l-life… m-much less with… w-with someone l-like me… s-she’d hate th-that… im c-certain” Salvatore laments aloud, dipping his head downward as tears of painful realization and sorrowful acceptance pour down his face like waterfalls of lonely depression, already fully set on contacting Mother Miranda as soon as morning came.

“While it's very kind of you to keep my best interest in mind, I do think I am more than capable of making my own decisions regarding what’s the best place for me, thank you very much” a soft voice responded suddenly, causing Salvatore’s head to whip in the direction the sound was coming from in startled shock. “This place is a little rundown, sure, but the windmills still stand tall and the water is always just the right temperature, so I don’t think this would be the worst place to live, if I had to… so long as I wasn’t alone, at least.”

Even in the dimly lit area located at the end of the hallway, Nadine still looked so gorgeously stunning and elegant. It was incredible how she managed to sound so casual and yet look so ethereal.

In the brief moment before his panic set in, Salvatore couldn’t help but pause and marvel at the spot down the hall where the young woman stood, her gaze locked directly onto him and yet she showed no signs of having seen him. She even went as far as to begin moving about behind the large boards that blocked her from entering the room, clearly trying to get a better look at the room and, more importantly, the person she suspects is in it.

After a surprisingly large jump that launched Nadine all the way up to the ceiling, just narrowly avoiding hitting her head, Salvatore’s eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open in stupefied shock as the sight of Nadine, moving the way she was at the end of the hallway, brought to Salvatore’s mind a scene from one of his favorite romance films. In the particular scene Salvatore is thinking of, the actress’ character is an aspiring prima ballerina, and she’s having a brief moment of bonding with her fellow ballerina’s after a long, but successful performance. Dressed in a nightgown not too unlike the one Nadine is currently wearing, the ballerina is showing the others how to do other kinds of dance, like polka or Irish step dancing, but by the end of the scene the group of ballerinas are all merely jumping about the room excitedly, laughing and cheering while carelessly throwing themselves into the air, only to land gracefully back on their feet.

While not exactly the same obviously, the resemblance between Nadine and the absolutely stunning ballerina in the movie, in both silhouette and style of movement, was almost uncanny.

Stretched out as high as her short legs would allow, strong and gorgeously defined muscles flexed almost instinctually with every rapid twist, curl, bend, and jump of the young woman’s tiny body. Her lucious silhouette was only aided by the feminine aura of the long, sheer nightgown as it trailed after her with every movement. The delicate satin material caresses the sharp ridges of her muscular back and shoulders with the same tenderness and love as it does the weight of her breasts or the pillowy layer of protection atop her midsection. The lower half of the nightgown, cinched just below the breasts, twisted and jerked in whatever direction was necessary to keep up with the speed at which Nadine was fluttering and jumping about upon the tips of her toes. Her legs were hidden by the ferocious speed of her movements, but Salvatore did not need to see her legs to have some idea of what they were, or perhaps merely could be, capable of.

Whether or not Nadine was actually a ballerina herself, or if Salvatore’s delusions were merely that realistic now, the young woman appeared to move with nothing but effortless grace that hides the raw power and physical strength it takes to float as carelessly and as quickly as the young woman was, clearly growing more and more frustrated the longer her search failed to reveal what she was looking for.

Still paralyzed by the sudden presence of Nadine in his personal space, Salvatore could do nothing but hold his breath and hope that the light at the end of the hall didn’t reach far enough to reveal his presence in the room. The TV was still on, but the movie playing on it had finished running long ago, meaning the only thing being displayed now was a static filled screen that proved someone had been here at some point in time, but thankfully wasn’t a dead giveaway from the start.

“Helloooooooo… I heard someone talking on my way in, so I know that someone is down here. Please… just come out, ok… I won’t hurt you… honestly” the raven haired woman begs softly, her movements slowing a bit to allow more of her air to be used for speaking rather than jumping to look over beams over and over again.

Salvatore’s heart ached at Nadine’s desperate tone, knowing all too well what the mutant woman is going through right now, but trying his best to remain strong, since giving in means dooming this perfect young specimen to a life of bitter misery and unending terror, regardless of the best effort he’d try to put in. Whatever short term gain Nadine could get from being with him would only come back to bleed her dry once Salvatore was sufficiently attached, and therefore unable to allow her to leave once she inevitably decides that she’s had enough of pretending to love a disgusting freak of nature.

Salvatore had never been very good at accurately predicting the outcomes of situations, but he knew for certain that Nadine was in no way deserving of the hellish punishment that living in the reservoir with him would undoubtedly become, if it didn’t start out that way from the beginning, that is. Perhaps the young woman could convince herself to accept her situation and play into his affections as a means of survival for a short time, but based on what he’s heard of Nadine thus far, Salvatore doubts such a strongwilled and dangerous woman would allow herself to play wife and sex slave to anyone for very long. If she didn’t somehow successfully murder him in his sleep within the first 48 hours of her “slavery”, it would only be a matter of time before she finally ran out of patience and unleashed... whatever the hell it was she did back in the labs, upon him.

For a brief moment, Salvatore entertains the question of whether Nadine could potentially be strong enough to take him out with a single hit, as well as whether that thought should be something he finds arousing or not. His thoughts are quickly interrupted however, by the sound of shuffling and grunting, and upon turning his head toward the sudden racket, Salvatore is horrified to see Nadine, just small enough to fit her tiny body between the thin cracks of the boarded up wall, attempting to climb through the barrier, and enter the TV room.

Body shaking and voice beginning to tremble slightly, alongside his already labored breathing, Salvatore unsteadily backed his way further into the room, putting his hands out in front of him as if to try and stop Nadine from entering, though he makes no move to physically eject the invading woman himself, oddly enough.

“N-nooo… p-please… don’t come i-in...” Salvatore stutters helplessly, shrinking further in on himself in fear as the young woman effortlessly slips through the wooden boards like a slippery eel, quickly and easily landing on her feet before turning back to the mostly darkened room.

“H-Hello?” Nadine calls out again nervously, taking a tentative step forward, both hands extended outward beside her until her left hand made contact with the wall. Gaining some purchase on the vertical slabs of wood, Nadine slowly turns her head to look about the room, carefully inspecting everything from atop the surface of Salvatore’s messy desk, to the very dark corner in the back right of the room that Salvatore himself was currently shoved as far into as physically possible.

Nadine stuck her arm out in front of her and began slowly walking toward the opposite wall, eyes open, but unfocused, and right hand waving aimlessly in the air for a brief moment, as though trying to feel around for the other wall despite it clearly being right in front of her. The hooded man had no idea how she hadn’t seen him yet, he could practically feel how absolutely ridiculous he looked, his bony, weathered, turtle-esque body hunched as low to the ground as possible with his chin tucked between his knees and hands covering the rest of his face, leaving only the smallest bit of space through which he could observe Nadine’s inevitable reaction to him. And yet, despite the amount of time the young woman spent glancing over Salvatore, back and forth across the room, her bright golden eyes resembling that of a ravenous alligator in their intensity and ferociousness, no scream left her plush lips nor did fear and horror suddenly mar her supple face. In fact, not only had the mutant woman not seen him yet, but it was in that exact moment that the reason why Nadine couldn’t see Salvatore, obviously shoved into the corner, just to her bottom left, became immediately clear to him.

“Y-You’re blind...”

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canyouhearthelight · 4 years

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The Miys, Ch. 115

Extra special thanks for this chapter go out to @baelpenrose and @charlylimph-blog. Besides being regular beta-readers for me, Bael really really wanted a chapter with more Charly/Coffey, and Charly happily obliged by joining my and Bael’s regularly scheduled live-write of the chapter. We. Had. A. Blast. It was a shining beacon of love and laughter in my life, let me tell you.

I walked from the kitchen to the entry just as the notification went off that someone was standing outside. Still laughing from the comment Tyche made about the chicken breasts we were currently stuffing, my smile didn’t drop an inch as I saw Charly and Coffey standing there. “Hey, you two! About time!”

Charly held her head high and ignored my comment, while Coffey grinned back. “Best for last, you know,” he tossed with a wink as he handed over a bottle of red wine. “I know it doesn’t go with chicken but…”

“Stomachs are colorblind,” I finished, in sync with Charly and Tyche like we had rehearsed it. Conor and Maverick burst into laughter while Arthur just shook his head at our antics.

Charly stretched her neck to look over Tyche’s shoulder. “Those looks like…”

“We know,” Arthur groaned, eliciting another chuckle from everyone. “Tyche just mentioned that.”

“The - feta? - cheese is not helping your case, I’m just saying.”

Tyche tried her hardest to scowl and made a shooing gesture. “Please don’t ruin dinner before it’s even cooked please?”

“If I promise it won’t make dinner sound obscene, can I ask a question?” Charly ventured. All eyes turned toward her, since it was probably the first time she had ever asked permission to ask a question. Once I slowly nodded, she took a deep breath. “Have you ever tried rabbit?” The next part was rushed. “ImeanIhavearecipeforrabbitstewthat’stodiefor, andI’mprettysureAntoinewouldlikerabbitragout-”

“Charly,” Coffey intoned softly, reaching out to gently scritch the back of her neck.

She stopped talking and bit her lips. “I just mean - “

“It’s okay,” I assured them before anyone else in the room exploded from the laughter they were trying to hold back for her sake. “I really would love that recipe, Charly. I actually have a recipe for lapine ragout that Antoine adores, but the only other recipe I have is for coney pie.”

Charly nodded enthusiastically while practically collapsing on Coffey’s lap. Still nodding, she pulled a file up on her datapad and flicked it towards me. “Can I ask about the rabbits?” she asked softly, head twitching when Coffey scowled and - I assume - gently tugged the hair above where he was still scratching her neck. “Doesn’t hurt to ask!” she complained.

“I swear, it’s fine,” Arthur stated firmly. “You would be shocked at how hilarious she finds this story.”

Tyche rolled her eyes hard enough to move her neck. “And it puts some things into perspective…” she sighed.

Conor, on the other hand, gave me a hard look when I opened my mouth. “You know the rule.”

Dropping my head back in defeat, I took a deep breath. “Yes, I will make coney pie tomorrow for dinner.” Antoine, Charly, and Coffey all looked at me in confusion. “Conor hates hearing about my near-death experiences, so when I tell this story I have to make him rabbit pie for dinner.”

“So he can eat your enemies,” Charly nodded sagely.

“Pretty much,” I shrugged.

“Wait- “ she sputtered, realizing the rest of what I explained. “You had a near death experience? With a bunny!?”

All I could do was giggle. “Yes. I have a deathly fear of bunnies because one almost killed me once.”

“Twas no ordinary rabbit - it had a vicious streak a mile wide….” Arthur added, funny accent and all.

“May I ask that no one interrupt Sophia until she explains how she managed a real-life reenactment of a Monty Python sketch?” Coffey asked, leaning forward so far that Charly had to twist to stay on his lap.

“The truth is stranger than fiction,” Arthur nodded, tapping his glass gently against the other man’s. “Sophia, take it away.”

Shaking my head with a grin, I obliged. “You have to know, Tyche and I grew up in a very backwater, uneducated family, and also in hereditary poverty. So, it was perfectly normal - to us, anyway - to have pets like chickens, or goats… or rabbits… Food animals. Well, when I was eight, my uncle decided I was old enough for my first pet rabbit. A good, big one.” Tyche shook her head with a smirk, and I just shot her a glance as I kept speaking. “Well, Snickers wasn’t quite hand-tamed. And the only way to hand-tame a wild rabbit is to…. Well, hold it, honestly. So I would sit in the yard, with Snickers in my lap, and hold him while he ate grass.”

Maverick opened his mouth to ask the question he always loved to ask, but Charly gently put her hand on his wrist and shook her head.

I still answered the question I knew would have come. “I know, it sounds like the most harmless thing in the world, right? Pet rabbit, in my lap, chilling out and eating fresh grass. The thing is… Rabbits are burrowers. And they have these wicked claws on their back feet just for that. So, when you hold them, you have to hold their back feet together, or they kick to get away.”

Charly gasped softly as she realized what was coming, quickly clamping a hand over her mouth.

I nodded. “Yep. One day, Snickers got started, and I didn’t have his back feet as tightly as I should have, and… well, he opened my arm up from wrist to elbow before I could let him go. I screamed, my mother came out, took me to the emergency room. I’ve been terrified of rabbits ever since.”

“That’s awful!” Charly cried out, jumping up to come hug me.

As I patted her on the back, Coffey sat up straighter and shook his head. “Poppy, she’s okay now. And besides, didn’t you hear her mention how ‘backwater’ her family was?” He arched an eyebrow at me, eye gleaming. “I bet that rabbit was dinner that same night.”

“Bunny dumplings,” Tyche confirmed with a wink. “If we didn’t know what else to do with it, it was dumplings.”

Arthur shook his head with a chuckle. “I would have thought you would be upset that she ate her pet, Miss Harper.”

She made a rude noise in return. “Are you kidding!? The first thing I killed with a bow was a rabbit.” Head high, she flexed her biceps. “Do you know how fast those things are!?”

“Nice and fat one, too,” Coffey added. “And she found rosemary to roast it with.”

“And lemon balm,” she added. “And mint, but that stuff grows everywhere.”

I nearly groaned at the memory of spit-roasted wild game.

“So, you two have been through the whole After together?” Conor asked as dinner hit the table.

Charly nodded enthusiastically as she took a bite. “Yeah, we were friends Before - oh my gosh, this balsamic reduction is perfect, Tyche - and found each other not long after the End. After a while…” she trailed off, waving between them as much as she could, considering she was still sitting on Coffey’s lap.

We all nodded. I was, honestly, happy to see two people who knew each other that long survive the end of the world together. “So, I knew Charly did archery - she’s shown me a few times, but I’m terrible at it, turns out. What about you, Coffey?” I paused before realizing how intrusive that might be. “And if you don’t want to answer, it’s okay,” I rushed to clarify.

He smiled in reassurance. “I was security, Before, and… security After, in a way.” Chewing thoughtfully on a bite of bread, he glanced at something none of us could see. “I had a gun, at first - being a black man who grew up in NorthAm before it was NorthAm, it was more prudent than it was deviant at the time.”

“I don’t blame you,” I grumbled, while Tyche nodded and scowled furiously. We were horrifically embarrassed to be related to some of the reasons he needed a gun in the Before.

He tilted his head in a conciliatory fashion, as though he could tell what I was thinking. “In the After, bullets were hard to come by and… not very prudent, it turned out. They drew a lot of attention. Whereas our sneaky Charly…”

“Probably made traps,” Arthur finished nonchalantly. When a few of us glanced at him, he rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! No one can tell me the queen of pranks and engineering over here did not booby-trap anywhere she was living within an inch of her life and the lives around her.”

Charly beamed, while Coffey just chuckled. “I honestly don’t believe the margin of error was quite that wide, to be frank. But it was safe enough that, before long, we accidentally had an enclave.”

I snorted in an attempt not to choke on my drink, while Conor and Maverick were both glancing at Arthur - the resident warlord.

Arthur just blinked in an almost placid manner. “I’m actually impressed. You started rebuilding by accident.”

“Do I look like someone who decides to take over the world?” Charly pointed out. After a chorus of Yes all around the table, she rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault that hobbit holes are a strategically sound idea.”

“Apocalyptic Tolkien,” Tyche whistled. “I like it.”

“Sophia would have loved the library,” Coffey laughed.

My head shot up hard enough to make my neck hurt. “Library?”

He nodded. “Charly had the idea to go rescue every book we could find on camping, how-tos, engineering, historical infrastructure…”

“You just passed every class you are ever in, with flying colors,” Arthur nodded. “I had to make most of my people read - though we did end up with a library and decent bathing infrastructure.”

“Siege engines, Mr. Farro. We were building siege engines.”

He muttered something that sounded like “I will make up classes for you to pass,” but I was willing to bet that he would never admit it. Out loud, he just added “The fact that you not only read voluntarily but got other people to read without being forced has earned you extra credit.” She opened her mouth to object, but he held up a hand. “I’m being entirely serious, and no I won’t take it back.”

“I wasn’t going to try to survive an apocalypse without baths,” she scowled, stabbing a potato. “We may have ended the world, but we weren’t heathens.” Chewing so fast I thought she was going to choke, she immediately started asking Arthur about how he organized plumbing for his group.

“Trenches, aqueducts, and basically I got lucky because someone had a construction background. We had some records of how Romans built their sewers with something close enough to the materials we had to work with so… it worked out.

With that, the conversation took off in the direction of infrastructure for post-apocalypse settlements, with Conor adding his opinion everywhere possible. I knew there was no changing the topic, so I just shook my head and tried to keep up.

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#the miys #found family #aliens #apocalypse #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #humans are space fae #hfy #science fiction #scifi #original scifi #original science fiction #original fiction #my writing

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oosteven-universe · 3 years

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Night of the Ghoul #2

Night of the Ghoul #2 ComiXology Originals/Best Jackett Press 2021 Written by Scott Snyder Illustrated by Franco Francavilla Lettered by Andworld Design In the film Night of the Ghoul, it’s 1918 and our nation is rejoicing as soldiers return from the battlegrounds of the Great War. But what if something has come back with them? In the real world, a father and son discover the blurred line between fiction and reality. Ooh child this issue is better than the first one. The opening is creepy as all get out and it does a brilliant job in getting us ready for and back into the swing of things. If you are anything like me you read a lot of books each week (because yes so many are worth reading) and this opening just hits you and we’re back in horror mode. Also now that Kurt and Johnny are back home it’ll be interesting to see how Kurt goes about life now especially with his son being around. Now I’m going to give a little spoiler here but Johnny sticks around and If I didn’t know better it’s like Alex has two dads. Still, that Scott is able to navigate between the then and the now so effortlessly and then to tie them together in such a way that feels so much larger than what’s on the surface is really something special. I’m a huge fan of the way that this is being told. The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information are presented exceptionally well. The character development that we see through the dialogue, the character interaction as well as how we see them act and react to the situations and circumstances which they encounter keeps their personalities moving vividly and seemingly alive. The pacing is excellent and as it takes us through the pages revealing more of the story the more of it I want to see. I’m really very impressed with the way that we see this being structured. Not to mention how we see the layers within the story continuing to emerge, grow, evolve and strengthen. I’m liking how we see the layers opening up new avenues to be explored and how the correlation between the film and real life is tied so closely together. How all this adds so much depth, dimension and complexity to the story is extremely nice to see. How everything works together to create the story’s ebb & flow as well as how it moves the story forward are impeccably handled. The interiors here are pretty brilliant. Seeing Mr. Merrit’s face throughout the book and how hideously deformed it is now next to Forest, Orson’s father, is striking. We see some great use of backgrounds throughout, though I'd love to see more, and how they enhance and expand the moments. They also work within the composition of the panels to bring out the depth perception, sense of scale and the overall sense of size and scope to the story. The utilisation of the page layouts, those burned film cels for instance, and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show such a masterful eye for storytelling. The pops of colour that we see within the gray scale is beautifully done. The light sources show how that changes the mood, tone and feel of the book. The further we get into this the creepier it becomes and it’s just building up exactly like it should be and I’m more than terribly excited for the next issue already. With what each character is going through, something alone would be terrifying but happening simultaneously so that help isn't on the way is downright horrific. Scott’ writing is damn near brilliant and the characterisation is flawless and Francavilla captures our hearts and fears beautifully.

#Comic Books #Comics Reviews #ComiXology Originals

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daredevile · 4 years

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BOOK RECS!

Well, I read a bunch of books during the quarantine and most of them were great! So, if you're looking for something within these genres - mystery/thriller, sci-fi, romance and horror - I got your back :) Also, my favourite genres are mystery/thriller and sci-fi which is why those lists are huge. Everything is linked to Goodreads, go check out the blurbs but, watch out for those reviews with spoilers!!

THE SILENT PATIENT - Love, love, love this book - second favourite of all time! Seemingly innocent woman randomly shoots her husband in the face and never speaks again. And we primarily follow a criminal psychotherapist's perspective as he uncovers details about the why, the how and much, much more. If you're into human psychology and are a mystery/thriller aficionado in general, READ THIS BOOK. Also, has one of the best plot twists ever!

THE TURN OF THE KEY - The story follows a very unfortunate and young nanny who ends up being accused of murdering a child in her care. No parents in the obscenely technology-controlled house that malfunctions all of a sudden. Ah, the horrors of digitalisation. And she's neither innocent nor guilty. The atmosphere created by the author is truly remarkable and you cannot stop reading. I'm warning you. Prepare to be absorbed for a few hours because this is one chair-gripping story.

THE ONE - We're getting into the Black Mirror zone here. DNA tests that pair people with their genetically matched soulmates. What could possibly go wrong? Hint: one of the characters is a murderer - don't worry that's not a spoiler! Everyone has their secrets and issues and have to navigate through a complicated mess that morphs into a different problem for each character. Have they found The One?

GONE GIRL - Do I even need to explain?

EIGHT PERFECT MURDERS - We got a killer who replicates murders from fictional books and the FBI enlist the help of a bookstore owner to solve the case. Quite entertaining and major book-nerd vibes from this one. Not gonna lie, this started phenomenally but fell a little short with the ending. Still worth the read though! Also, it spoils a few classic, well-known books [ listed on Goodreads ], if you're planning to read any of those, I'd advise you to finish them before starting this one.

THE KIND WORTH KILLING - I'd say this's the better Peter Swanson novel out of these two. Quite Gone Girl-esque in nature but equally well-written and amazing! It's a type of story that makes you question humans and our moral code. Think intense Tom and Jerry with 200% more stress, nail-biting moments and of course, murders.

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE - A classic whodunit. Who doesn't love those? Group of people trapped in a remote island and one by one they drop dead in mysterious ways. Everyone seems like the killer, but who is actually behind these murders? Edge-of-the-seat feels with this one! And as the group becomes smaller and smaller, the criminal gets closer and closer till there are none.

LONG BRIGHT RIVER - This one delves into quite sensitive themes and topics such as addiction, struggles with withdrawal and ultimately, the devastation caused by it all. The relationship between the two sisters is portrayed with powerful emotional language and it's truly heartbreaking. Tension arises when one sister goes missing the same time when murders occur in the area. Not an easy read by any means but an exceptional story indeed.

NO EXIT - Four strangers stranded at a secluded highway rest stop and one of them has kidnapped a little girl and locked her in the van. And our main character has no means of communicating with anyone but has to figure out how to save the child from the psychopath. This has thriller written all over it! My stress levels were through the roof but, the action and the twists just blew my mind! Love this book!

LOCK EVERY DOOR - Creepy high-end hotel. Check. Disappearing people. Check. Dark secrets. Check, check, check! Again, another author who perfectly conjured a ghostly ambience as the plot thickens and the main character is so close to the killer. I'll be honest, I was scared at some parts. But it was a good kinda scared, you know. 100% will read again!

DARLING ROSE GOLD - Sounds like a cute story right? Don't be fooled by the title. This twisted mother-daughter story evokes an unsettling feeling as we follow both the daughter, who became overwhelmingly ill due to malnutrition and her abusive mother, who recently got released from prison. I found the narrative style to be very unique as they're both unlikable characters with hidden motives beneath their now-tolerant attitudes to each other. In other words: this book is CRAZY AND GOOD!

DARK MATTER - This is my favourite book. Ever. Written by one of my favourite authors. Ever. It's the perfect blend of a seemingly confusing narrative, a true mind-fuck, thought-provoking themes, slightly disturbing yet very much stress-inducing plot progression - in short: I love it!

SCYTHE - The premise caught my attention and it didn't disappoint at all! This universe is remarkably built through Shusterman's compelling imagery and mystery revolving around a Scythe's morals, ethics and concerns with their profession as they have to randomly kill people due to overpopulation. And good news, this is a series!

THE PASSENGERS - Listen, if you like Black Mirror-y stories, then you're gonna love this one! It's set in a world that's transitioning from manual to autonomous vehicles where eight driverless cars are hacked and programmed to collide in one location at a specific time! Initially, keeping up with so many POVs was challenging, but, it's completely worth it and possibly one of the most stressful books I've read in a while. John Marrs just understands writing.

THE TEST - This one's a short story - a hundred pages or so, yet thoroughly entertaining and has an intriguing plotline. Again, kinda gives Black Mirror vibes and jumps straight into the action. It's also severely messed up and horrible to think about. Dives into human behaviour and psychology in terrible this or that scenarios. Definitely one of my favourites! Are you sensing a pattern?

WE ARE THE ANTS - Alien abduction? The world in danger? And the fate of it rests upon a hesitant teenage boy's shoulders? Caught my attention. The plot is quite touching, emotionally-driven and weaves through several heavy issues such as depression, suicide, bullying and marginalisation, however, lightens up around wholesome themes like love, family and friendship. Great story and also, the book cover is pretty cool!

RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE - Yet another book that needs no introduction. Just read it fam. No regrets!

THE UNHONEYMOONERS - Looking for the fluffiest of fluff story ever? Here ya go! Christina Lauren has nailed the romance genre and this one's nothing short of spectacular. Humour, wit and banter are smoothly intertwined into both main characters who hate each other with a passion... for a little while. Also features the classic and unsurprisingly entertaining hate to love trope!

THE HATING GAME - Can't seem to get enough of this enemies to lovers trope! Hilarious writing paired with two lovable characters - definitely a mood-booster. Just the mere chemistry between the characters as you experience their both funny and tender moments is *chef's kiss*.

THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END - Another favourite! A tear-jerker that's incredibly raw and thought-provoking. It explores the connection between two strangers spending their End Day with meaningful conversations, dealing with love and loss and going on that one last adventure before - well, you know how it ends.

PET SEMATARY - If you're into severely disturbing and horrific imagery spiralling through your mind - okay, why would you do that to yourself? Major theme of death described in a terrifying and a very Stephen King manner. Personally, I found the writing to be a little boring but still eerie, however, my friends and a lot of other readers love this book! To each their own, I guess?

THE CABIN AT THE END OF THE WORLD - Two words. Home invasion. This book made me question all the fundamental things in life and the writing speaks volumes! Filled with subtle symbolism and allusions to real societies and how they operate under crises. Possible heartbeat escalation, intense moments laced with undertones of sadness for the family. Gets straight into the action and it's utterly overwhelming. I don't read much horror but this is probably one of the best [ though some have contradicting opinions ]!

I spent a lot of time making this, so reblogs are very much appreciated! Hope you found something interesting :D

#book recs #book recommendations #books #lit #literature #mystery #thriller #scifi #romance #horror #arya.txt

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geekns · 3 years

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last night’s breakdown or...spectrum confessions

So i just wanted to saying something about the meltdown that some of you might have noticed last night (i know a couple of you did, though i think i managed to keep most of it under wraps).

I have a medical condition. It causes me to feel anxious and depressed. Constantly. To varying degrees. I take medication for it. I’ve tried to learn how to manage it. I try to hide it because the general public does not understand this condition. Furthermore, i don’t want to share the underlying trauma with anyone and everyone. I want to come across as a functioning adult as much as possible.

So even while I have spent fifteen years learning how to forgive the people who hurt me. And something like six months in therapy. And around two years being medicated...I still have occasional breakdowns.

Sometimes i still have a night where everything that i’m trying to keep copacetic, and acknowledged but not given free reign, takes over. It refuses to be medicated or meditated or prayed into compliance. It takes over me and pours out of me whether i want it or not. Suddenly i am not functioning, i am sobbing uncontrollably, and terrified, and feel guilty, and unloved, and imprisoned. And in those moments i want nothing more than to die. A part of me does not even trust myself not to harm myself. I want to be held (but am always alone). I want to protected (but never am). I am normally the person who takes care of others, no one ever takes care of me.

And i feel physically sick. Nausea, a headache, and body aches. Full body grief. Last night i was seeing flashing lights behind my eyelids as if i was having a seizure or on a bad trip. And the panic: the panic is in control, I cannot think straight. Even if i tell myself positive things, or try to use strategies for calming down, try to quiet my raging thoughts, the panic has free reign. It is in full control. And the only thing i can do is curl up in bed hugging my stuffed animal, clutching my blanket, waiting for it to end. And it won’t end until after I’ve slept it off. And I can’t sleep because I’m in fight or flight mode.

Maybe I should do some kickboxing when I get like this.

I’m going to confess, it was probably the worst it’s been in years last night. I was even trying to go to my safe place, and was kind of getting there (i usually can’t do my best safe place visualizing anymore, i think it’s the meds), but the person who normally talks me down from these things was not feeling safe last night. (His likeness was part of the reason i was freaking out tbh.) But even though i didn’t really want him there he didn’t go away, he stayed with me until i fell asleep.

I have imaginary friends sort of. Apparently they’re called tulpa? Though i don’t create or really control them, they just show up fully formed. Mostly when i’m panicking or worried. Whenever i need to talk things through that i have no one to talk to. The thing is, they always wear the likeness of real people, usually celebrities that play characters i strongly identify with. I used to get advice from Picard and Gandalf and Archer for instance. All of us sitting around a campfire on a beach. They’re always men, i don’t know why. (Hmm maybe that goes to daimons?)

For example: one time i was on a train in Japan, underground, and a drunk man started yelling at two women halfway down the car. And i had a panic attack. And suddenly i was visualizing Twelve/PC talking me down from it, telling me to breathe, that i was safe, etc. Distracting me from the danger. (Two things: i read a story about him talking another fan down from a panic attack outside a convention later. And another male passenger escorted the drunk off the train at the next stop, but i was still panicking for a while. I still had to change trains and it would take me another hour to get home for the night.)

So part of the thing is that the thoughts i usually keep under control, don’t allow myself to dwell on, acknowledge but keep muted with optimism, become deafening and take over when this happens. I think way back when it would be 1-2 times a month, then 1-2 times a quarter, and now it’s 1-2 times a year, but it still happens. I used to just let all of the darkness come pouring out, usually through writing. I’m always alone. And i suppose it’s cathartic, but it’s horrific while it’s happening. I don’t recognize myself, the girl who never gives up and is always glass is 100% full. I don’t want to let others see it even as i’m desperate to be loved and held and accepted as i am.

It’s hard to explain.

When i wake up the next morning the darkness is gone. It’s quiet again, and i feel “normal” (normal for me). It’s hold is gone. Now i always live with a baseline amount of anxiety and depression, even while medicated. If i take too much medication i can’t sleep (i’m already an insomniac, i don’t need drugs making it worse) and so i can’t feel any sexual arousal at all...it really bothers me. It’s hard enough for me to become properly aroused without suppressing it entirely. I generally have to fantasize about something very specific (which let me tell you, the majority of you wouldn’t find to be sexy at all).

When i first went on the meds i spent months where i didn’t feel anything (other than that i was suddenly very chatty and animated in a completely uncharacteristic way) and i hated it. My mom doesn’t understand, doesn’t see repressed sexuality as a downside when i’m not married.

Re: asexuality. My grandma was on the spectrum (we always joke she had sex at least four times...resulting in four kids) and my mother probably is, too. I have had two short-lived dating relationships in which my only sexual desire was to satisfy my partner really. I don’t enjoy kissing. I do have a libido that’s greater than either my mother or grandma’s...but like i said, it’s fucked up and not initiated by any of the conventional methods. Kissing doesn’t make me feel like getting down, for instance. At least in my (so far limited) experience. I keep hoping that i’m actually demi and just need to meet the right person to make this a little bit easier for me. But it will probably just be something i have to work through for the rest of my life.

Perhaps i should stipulate that I want to want to have sex. And when i do want to have sex i am always alone. And when i am with someone else the things that attract me are just odd. Being read aloud to, or talked to about nerdy things, got me farther than anything else. But it’s not the content so much as the mind that’s behind what’s being expressed.

I am certainly no expert on this subject. My therapist had never heard of demisexuality and had no input on asexuality. In other words, they were absolutely no help when it came to working through these issues, which is where I wanted to go (partially because i feel it may be tied in with my PTSD and is being repressed by fear).

Five types of attraction:

Romantic attraction: desiring a romantic relationship with someone

Aesthetic attraction: being attracted to someone based on how they look

Sensual or physical attraction: wanting to touch, hold, or cuddle someone

Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with someone

Emotional attraction: wanting an emotional connection with someone

Most of my attraction is towards fictional characters (and to a varying extent the actors who play them). Both of my RL partners would only be physically expressive in private. They wouldn’t touch me in public. Or even in private spaces with others present. There was one i didn’t really know all that well and another who had hidden a lot from me up to that point even though he claimed he didn’t believe in hiding things from the person you’re dating. And we would be physical in private to varying degrees but i was left feeling largely unfulfilled. I kind of struggle with these definitions. Both of the guys I dated i had zero aesthetic attraction to but did have physical attraction to whereas they only wanted to express themselves sexually.

I strongly desire having a romantic relationship with someone but have for a very long time only had romantic attraction for fictional characters. I fairly recently had a physical and romantic attraction to someone for the first time, at first based on sapiosexual attraction that later became aesthetic attraction (why is there no listed attraction for this? I am usually attracted to people’s minds first).

I have very strong aesthetic attraction to certain actors...and this is a large part of the reason that i know i’m bi. But it isn’t only aesthetic for really strong attraction because i am sapiosexual and also strongly attracted to damaged, often misunderstood, people/characters. Case in point: Loki and Missy. In these cases i have strong physical attraction but not sexual attraction. I cannot fathom having sex with most characters or actors or people I meet in RL. I sometimes wonder what casual sex would be like but know that i could never...

I can only remember kissing someone (also a character) in a dream once and immediately put a stop to it, not because i wasn’t attracted to that person, but because they were unavailable in my mind. They were part of an OTP that i was not in. So there’s a strong romantic component for me.

Sensual or physical attraction is actually something I fantasize about a lot but have never experienced...outside of one platonic relationship. I had a friend when I lived in Japan who I wasn’t even particularly close to. But right away she would ask me if she could lean on me, lay against my lap, later link arms with. I can’t remember if we ever held hands. She was Chinese, and for an Asian girl this is very normal to do with platonic friends. Koreans call this “skin sisters.”

It was really weird for me because my own sisters don’t even want to do those sorts of things with me. I sometimes want to lean against my mother but most of my sisters would punch me rather than let me touch them affectionately. My youngest sister, once I came back from Japan, had reached a point where she was bolder and will goose, grope, grab, poke, pinch, try to pop my toes...it’s very disconcerting. She does things to me in front of others that i consider to be more sexual than platonic. Possibly because my only frame of reference is my father doing the same to my mother. She’s the only sister who will sometimes lean against me. But that was only after this friendship in Japan that was more physical than any of my “romantic” but-definitely-not-romantic partners. No kissing, but the sort of physical expression that i most long for.

Platonic attraction is rare for me. Extremely rare. Any platonic relationship i have pursued has always inevitably ended with spectacular heartbreak. In high school i was always on the outside. One platonic friendship ended dramatically (she had been hiding things from me, which is fine, but it ended badly and she moved away suddenly). Another platonic relationship fizzled because she was my best friend but i was just another friend for her. And whenever this happens to me, i am the friend that all plans will be cancelled with because the other friends have preference. And there was no big break there, i was old enough to not be heartbroken by it as i had by earlier examples of this. We still converse on FB and i am the person she came to first when she accidentally got pregnant in college. Have i mentioned that i’m the should people come to when they need emotional support? I’m a good listener and not judgmental and know when to give advice and when to stay mum.

Which brings me to spiritual attraction. We aren’t merely physical or mental beings. There is something else there. And my empathy, my spiritual center...there are times that i know things that i have no logical business knowing. I don’t always understand it, sometimes it’s a feeling, but my intuition is something that i’ve learned not to ignore.

My last boss, i could tell he had anger issues. I only caught a glimpse of them once. He really liked me so i was fortunate. But every conversation we had after our initial meeting i could tell (spiritually) that he was potentially very dangerous to me emotionally. The more we interacted the more nervous it made me. Familiarity could lead to a loss of professional discretion.

Latter friend: i knew when she IMed me out of the blue after a six month drought that something big was up. She demurred that she couldn’t talk about it. I knew that the only reason that she had come to me was because she needed to tell me. Again, i had a feeling, and it turned out to be correct. She was pregnant. BF wanted her to abort. She didn’t believe in abortion. One conversation gave her the strength to stand up for herself and give her baby up for adoption.

Grandma: I was unable to go home for thanksgiving. Sister (roommate situation) went to her in-laws. I stayed home alone and worked. I was having panic attacks. I had the most heinous period of my entire life. A couple days later my dad calls me up and says: “Has anyone told you that Grandma is in the hospital? She had a heart attack.” No one had told me anything, I somehow knew something was wrong anyway. My brain just couldn’t make sense of it.

Kate Mulgrew: I somehow knew that she was looking for her daughter. Then-me interpreted this as Janeway having a missing daughter, expecting her to show up on the show and join the crew. What i didn’t realize that this was a real longing and need. I have carried this knowledge with me for over twenty years. I found out sometime within the past year that she had become pregnant early in her acting career, while on Ryan’s Hope, given her daughter up for closed adoption, regret it, and it was while she was on Voyager and coming into my awareness she was desperately searching for her, trying to find her, and did in fact find her. I had no rational way knowing any of that deeply personal information. I felt it anyway; deeply. In fact, it changed my life.

Which comes to emotional attraction. I really wanted to be an actor or an author. I don’t think I can memorize or anymore, my aphasia makes it extremely difficult to ad lib/improvise because there are road blocks where i cannot spontaneously retrieve the words i’m looking for. I don’t know if i’ll ever finish a novel, i’m hoping just to finish a lengthy fanfic at this point and then see what comes. A year ago i was doing much better, now it just feels like i’m under attack on all sides. But i feel a strong emotional attraction to artistic people in general.

This sometimes manifests as a sexual attraction for a short time. Sometimes. I can fantasize about a physical attraction...usually in the form of me comforting or being comforted. Sharing burdens. If i know that someone i’m attracted to or love is hurting then it hurts me, often with actual physical sensations (again with the spiritual connections). This tends to cause me to feel as if i “know people” or am kindred spirits with actors, authors, singers, etc. Again, i will sometimes know things that there’s no reason for me to know and is often pointless since it doesn’t enable me to comfort them when they don’t even know i exist.

I am generally okay with this, though it’s sometimes overwhelming. Sometime it feels like an inside joke or shared experience (rare for me outside family members) and gives me ecstatic joy. It’s really weird being an empath.

But again back to being demi: characters (or even the actors who play them) will sometimes feel like friends or family. Sometimes it translates to romantic or sexual attraction: this is very rare. It’s happened a handful of times, but it leaves me feeling completely broken. Why can’t i just be a normal person with normal relationships? Generally it is a positive thing because getting to share their experiences (through reading or watching) gives me a fair amount of feeling accepted, having someone to care for, and hope.

I am a very isolated person. I don’t currently have any RL friends. Most of my support network tends to be online but i don’t really have that going on for me since my last breakup (mutual friends seemed to stick with him, though one friend that was my friend first has since decided that he’s completely nuts and conveniently forgotten that she was the one to introduce us and encourage the pairing). And i know i’m weird but i actually don’t mind that. Having friends that live around the world? That have similar interests? But that i don’t have to get dressed and go outside my comfort zone to hang out with? Awesome.

A year ago i was living somewhere very isolated but i was in a good place because i was supporting myself, had been working full time and making career progress for the better part of a year, was okayish with being single, I had my new kitten, I was mostly happy. It would have been the ideal time for me to start a relationship. And i was actually feeling attracted to a coworker! Like that hadn’t happened for me in nearly twenty years!

But he didn’t want to be more. He wanted me to be the friend he went to to unload his emotional issues on. He didn’t want others to know. He didn’t want to be more than “professional” (it wasn’t professional what was going on, not really). And then COVID hit and everything started falling apart. Things had been wrong with that job that i was trying to stay separate from. Drama, potentially criminal actions, emotional outbursts. I got singed a few times. I knew that another coworker hated me.

The second time they laid me off i packed everything up and moved back home. Upper management had been getting scary. I could tell that Grandma was reaching the end of her life and wanted to be near family. Which led to my last job, which i loved at first but couldn’t keep up with physically and that started to degrade my mental/emotional state. And then grandma died and i fell apart.

I’ve been trying to pull things back together. I really enjoy my current job but i don’t know if it will work out in the long term. The way the economy is going again...it’s scary. When Obama became president his policies were really punishing for the area. I had just graduated from college and couldn’t find full time work. I worked 2-3 part time jobs and lived with my parents because that was all i could afford.

I went out on a couple of very large limbs trying to better my situation (teaching in Japan, CLD school) and neither has really. They were amazing opportunities but i get homesick. But then when i am here that’s bad for me emotionally. I need to find some sort of balance, and it’s looking like that balance is for me to live somewhere removed from family and only visit a couple times of years. Which i hate to do but i think i need those boundaries for my emotional well being. But i don’t know how i have a hope in hell of affording any of that. I have a couple of months left to figure it out before my lease is up on my apartment, i need to figure things out by then.

So all of this...i’m not trying to complain here. I know that i tend to come off that way because i’m just honest and matter of fact about things. This is the way things are in my experience. I’ve tried various ways to improve them. The reason i’m recording them is not to illicit pity. It’s so people who don’t have to deal with these issues can catch a glimpse of what it’s like and for others who deal with anxiety and depression can see that they’re not alone. That’s a huge deal. Wherever you are in your journey, you’re not alone, it may be a fight unique to your situation, but you’re not alone. Other people are suffering, too, and it’s not a competition. It’s okay.

I know that being single has its benefits. Living alone with a cat is not something i hate as a rule, let me tell you. What i do hate is not having two or more incomes coming into a household. It is extremely difficult in this day and age to make it alone. I don’t want to worry about anything but money is probably that biggest temptation. It leads to feeling like i’m trapped.

That’s probably why many relationships develop (a need for security) but i’m...i say it is like being broken. Maybe i am because of the PTSD. Maybe it’s just my normal for someone on the spectrum (and let me tell you that even claiming this as part of my identity triggers my imposter syndrome...all of this does really. I didn’t have to deal with the same level of physical abuse that many do so why can’t i just get over it, right?). But i dealt with enough that i cannot form relationships on convenience. I have to feel safe. I want to find someone who i could trust to raise kids with, to go the distance with.

Have i said yet that i tend to overthink things?

I know that there’s not many of you who will have read this far. Thank you. Writing is part of my process in getting things reorganized in my shit show of a brain/heart/etc. The bottom line of this...i am improving grief wise, last night not withstanding. But i still want more. It’s my birthday and Christmas and it’s the hardest time for me in a way. Because it feels like i’m out of time. Another year has been lost forever. Have i made any progress at all? And it feels as if it’s already too late. My main goal in life was to become a mother and i can’t even have casual sex to manage it. I just can’t.

But there are spiritual things i’m trying to work through. That i don’t feel comfortable sharing here, really. Just i wonder about soul mates and twin flames and dreams/visions. I don’t know what the right choice is. Not for sure. And that is killing me because i want to know God’s will and do it. And i’m an impatient person who’s been waiting a particularly long time and i can’t say that i’ve gotten any better at it.

#confession #personal #depression #anxiety #demisexual #asexual #bi #attraction

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alexsfictionaddiction · 3 years

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Literary Fiction of 2020

Although I don’t like the term ‘literary fiction’, it is something that the book industry uses to distinguish books with ‘literary merit’ or ‘serious’ subject matter from other genres of fiction. To be honest, I just see it as another genre. It’s not a genre for everyone because literary novels rarely include laughs or warm fuzzy feels. However, they often have a few lessons to impart and I think that’s what I like about them.

These five novels have been labelled as literary fiction by multiple Goodreads users and you’d probably find them shelved under it in most bookshops. They are all fantastic, thought-provoking reads, so pick them up if you’re looking for something worldly and reflective. I promise you won’t be disappointed. -Love, Alex x

1. The Death of Vivek Oji by Akwaeke Emezi.

When Vivek Oji’s mother finds her son dead on her doorstep, a well-kept secret comes to light and a heartwrenching life story unravels. This is a beautifully written novel of a young transgender person coming to terms with who they are. It’s very emotionally-charged with a horrific ending that will resonate long after you’ve finished.

2. Miss Iceland by Auður Ava Ólafsdóttir.

In 1960s Iceland, budding novelist Hekla is determined to integrate herself into the literary world. However, she lives in a time and place where women are not expected to do anything more than look pretty and raise children but things are about to change. Hekla is a fantastic, inspirational protagonist and there are more than a few wonderful side characters. Tackling themes of sexism, homophobia and the rise of new ideas, this novel paints a bleak intricate picture of what life was like in Iceland at the time.

3. Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo.

Kim Jiyoung gave up everything to be a perfect Korean wife and mother but she has begun to suffer from psychosis, which causes her to impersonate the voices of other women. Her entire life is spilled out to a psychiatrist and it paints a dark, terrifying picture. I remember being thoroughly affected by this very short novel. Exploring the control of women’s bodies and lives and the ingrained toxic parts of Korean culture, it’s so vivid and real and I think that’s what makes it particularly effecting.

4. Sisters by Daisy Johnson.

September and July were born just ten months apart and have spent their lives being completely inseparable. When a dramatic incident takes them and their mother away from their hometown of Oxford, the family retreat to the Yorkshire coast, where a slow creeping dread begins to set in. This haunting literary read gave me strong Shirley Jackson vibes and I was thoroughly disturbed by the toxic sisterly dynamic. It serves as a stark reminder that those who have shaped us the most never leave us.

5. The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett.

16-year-old twins Stella and Desiree flee their small Black community and run away to New Orleans to make new lives for themselves. Ten years later, the twins are leading entirely different lives -both physically and culturally. Packed full of empathy and highly memorable characters, this novel deals with race, class and motherhood written in a beautiful, lyrical style.

#literary fiction #book recommendations #recommendations #books #bookworm

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sunnymoon-sunshine · 5 years

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After having finally broken and read a Warriors book for the first time in years, I have been met with overwhelming joy at the familiarity behind the words and stories that make up the clans. Additionally, it sparked the inner need to analyze any piece of fiction I get my mittens on.

Mapleshade’s Vengeance is a fascinating short story in that I’m not entirely sure what they wanted to do with it in the end. The best summary I can think to come up with is that “Everyone is an awful cat, except Nettlepaw”. At times their motivations, once you dig through it, makes sense - and other times, it has absolutely no basis in common sense. It feels partially as if it is the perfect storm of bad circumstances, and partially cats acting in a way that the author is writing to push the story.

ThunderClan is filled with cats that are motivated by personal reasons, rather than that of any sound logic. This, however, I can forgive. It brings depth and points out the flaws of the clans. Oakstar, for instance, is emotionally motivated - he has lost his son to a clan they’ve long held a rivalry against, during a bitter and bloody conflict. His motivations in the story line up - he’s bitter against RiverClan, mourns his son, and has had his hopes raised and then ultimately dropped when the truth comes out - Mapleshade’s kits are not Birchface’s, but that of his apparent murderer. While it would have made much more sense to keep the kits, Oakstar does not run on logic. He is an emotional cat.

And frankly, his and Frecklewish’s reactions to Mapleshade’s lie makes an excellent argument for the addition that leaders should not have kits. If a medicine cat not taking on a mate or kits supposedly makes them unbiased caregivers, then it would only make sense that a leader - the one who ultimately makes decisions for the clan, and can even propose additions to the warrior code. Oakstar is the perfect example of an unbiased leader whose reaction could never have been unmotivated, because it involved that of his dead son.

That isn’t to say that Oakstar was a terrible leader in general, or that his reaction was entirely unjust. Just that it was emotionally motivated, as was Frecklewish’s.

On the subject of Frecklewish, that poor girl. She mourned her brother so hard to the point that she clutched onto Mapleshade’s unborn kits as if they were an extension of her brother. Mapleshade was justified in her heated reaction to this, “I will not have my kits judged before they have even begun their warrior training!”. The extent of this latching on of Mapleshade’s kits is both heartbreaking for them, and yet terrible for the kits involved. They never deserved their heritage shoved onto them, anyway, with such a strong insistence that they’re Birchface’s kits that Frecklewish shows dismay when none are to be named after him. Like, excuse me? I have this feeling that, if the truth had not come to fruition so quickly, the kits would have grown up knowing themselves mostly as an extension of their father. They were judged against Birchface at every step, by the Rabbitfur and Ravenwing and everyone else in the clan. For as much as she missed her brother, Frecklewish (and to some extent, Oakstar) show an alarming trend in viewing these kits less as children of Birchface, and more that they are extensions of Birchface’s legacy.

Which shows an interesting period in clan history. It isn’t only ThunderClan who shares this idea, but also Reedshine’s declaration that Appledusk will live on through his kits. Be it a case of the author writing it in to give the story more impact or not, the idea that this period of clan involved a much stronger emphasis on warriors living through their children is a period that doesn’t seem present in many other eras, save for the notable cats such as Tigerstar, Firestar, etc.

Mapleshade herself is likely the best written in the entire book. She’s emotionally driven, like much of ThunderClan. She’s sympathetic in her plight. And yet she’s selfish. For all Mapleshade is, for as likeable as she can be, she refuses to accept consequences for her actions. ThunderClan will accept these kits, she thinks, if they just get to know them. There will be no negative consequences because I did nothing wrong. She has dreams of grandeur, which ultimately, are born from the desire that her kits will be loved by both clans, which is unrealistic to say the least. Her idea of reality and what the inevitable is are two very different things. Even when her kits are dead, and she’s faced with so many realities at once - that RiverClan holds no love for her now departed kits, that Appledusk himself holds no love for her, and that ThunderClan has cast her out and RiverClan holds no obligation to allow her to stay - she denies it, and finds any way to make it someone else’s fault.

And to be fair, I should say that it is partially on the shoulders of ThunderClan that those kits died. However, the extent that Mapleshade went to enact her revenge on them, to shift the blame anywhere from herself and her actions, is both fascinating and terrifying in its extremes. And I wouldn’t say that it was carrying them across the river that led them to their doom. Mapleshade was pushed into a corner, and convinced that RiverClan would offer her a home when ThunderClan could not. And very likely, they would have at the very least taken in her kits. Ultimately, it was her affair with Appledusk, and the lies she allowed to fester that caused her to be banished from her own clan. The river did not kill those kits - it was their mother’s actions before that point that did.Mapleshade is possessive refuses to accept the reality of the situation she’s created. Her conviction when - after she murdered ThunderClan’s sole medicine cat and still found no peace - to target Frecklewish, “Frecklewish needed to pay for the lost kits, just as Ravenwing had done.”

Oof.

Though I will say, Mapleshade is entirely sympathetic. Her heartbreaking reaction to seeing her lost kits is a real, raw reaction. And I must say that, her losing her mind after her home cast her out, her children died, and her mate turned his back on her is something that is entirely realistic. They did Mapleshade dirty. She had done a great wrong, but she had her entire life ripped out from under her. It’s just that ThunderClan chose to do this to the literal worst cat. She may have done wrong, but ThunderClan’s decision to cast out her and her kits both led to the creation of something far more horrific than a break of the code.

Which leads me to the fascinating case of Ravenwing, the ThunderClan medicine cat. I’ve thought long and hard about him, and I still feel as if he is... far too neutral. He has no emotional stakes, in a story that is run on nothing but emotion. He has no reason, other than an old rivalry, to cast out the kits. Medicine cats are supposed to be neutral, and yet the basis of even casting the kits out is based on his suggestion that “reeds do not belong in the forest”. It feels very odd for a medicine cat, but odder still is that he is just so maddeningly neutral. He has no real emotional reason to do this, he’s calm and collected, just doing his medicine cat duties. Medicine cats are neutral enough that a RiverClan cat came to ThunderClan in their time of need, even during a bitter conflict. Ravenwing’s insistence that the half-RiverClan kits do not belong in ThunderClan, though they’re two months old and still on milk, is baffling. It would be a sound Oakstar decision, but not that of a Ravenwing, from what we see of him. He isn’t malicious, he’s just. There. A medicine cat. It would have made far more sense of he was acting on some kind of dislike for RiverClan, but the text reads as though he’d simply seen a sign and decided, oh, we don’t need silly half-RiverClan cats in our clan.

But even then, while not present in the text, it can be assumed that his actions are to protect ThunderClan, ultimately something to protect themselves from a scandal, and a refusal to allow Mapleshade to indulge in her lies. While he did push for her kits to be exiled, he did not want her to lie about the true identity of their father - something she never said aloud, but allowed to spread. It’s just, in a story filled with cats who act on emotion, he remains the one that seems to react on the basis of justice - which does his character wrong, I feel. It would be easier to empathize if he had some sort of emotional stake, like Oakstar or Frecklewish, but frankly, I agree with Mapleshade. He had a hand in killing her kits, by not standing up for the two moon old children who were being cast from the only home they had ever known. They could have grown up fiercely loyal to ThunderClan - they had all the makings for it. But they would always be scrutinized for their RiverClan father.

Speaking of Appledusk, I should make an amendment to my thoughts on Ravenwing. I said that every character made decisions based off emotion. That is a lie.

Appledusk thinks only with his dick.

I mean, that’s it. That’s the worst part of the novella. Appledusk gets forgiveness because Darkstar thinks he’s sorry? Excuse me? It’s understandable that RiverClan wouldn’t accept Mapleshade into their ranks - they had no reason to. She was not one of their warriors. But oh, my god, Appledusk seems slightly sorry because uh-oh, his cat weenie went flying around to ThunderClan and now his side hoe came to ThunderClan with his three dead kits because they’ve been exiled and he gets forgiveness because he’s sORRY? AND BECAUSE REEDSHINE’S LIKE, AW IT’S OKAY I’M SURE HE DIDN’T MEAN TO.

REEDSHINE, YOU COULD HAVE DONE SO MUCH BETTER. BOTH YOU AND MAPLESHADE COULD HAVE.

Appledusk didn’t deserve death, he deserved to be mauled.

I feel very strongly about this.

In the short story, it feels as if every character is motivated by personal reasons, which does it justice and also detracts. ThunderClan created their own problem, something that is seemingly not acknowledged anywhere else, though Mapleshade was no angel herself. The lies from her mouth and the heated reactions from ThunderClan created a force that would haunt the clans for generations afterwards, causing so much bloodshed and harm. While it has its problems, the Mapleshade’s Vengeance is an interesting look into an ancient ThunderClan, and the problems that arise when literally everyone is an awful cat except Nettlepaw.

And I conclude this with a thought that the ending seemed off. It doesn’t feel right for Mapleshade to be content with not seeing her kits ever again. From how fiercely she loved and missed those kits, I would have wanted to see a Mapleshade that would have clawed the moon out of the sky to see her kits again, no matter the cost.

Poor, poor Mapleshade.

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theomnilegent · 5 years

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2019 Upcoming LGBTQA Fiction I’m Excited For!

A new year, a new top nine for women-lead LGBT fiction I’m looking forward to reading! There are, of course, a great many more books than the nine I’ve chosen this time ‘round - I think I will eventually make a part two to this post. I am so, so happy to see that this year we have even more diversity, even more stories about characters from all walks of life, from different parts of the LGBTQA umbrella, and even more LGBT novels. I remember a time where it’d be hard to find more than two YA novels with LGBT themes published in a single year - and now we have so many amazing works coming out!

The themes for 2019 seem to be gay witches, space gays, and explorations of mental illness in the LGBT community. I am so excited to read stories about girls and magic! I am more excited to read stories about girls and love! And I am definitely excited to see multiple books seriously addressing the issues of mental illness in young lesbian and bisexual women - it is a serious topic that has often been glossed over in the past, and to see multiple works that want to tackle these issues, and the issues of toxic relationships, in a healthy way is refreshing.

Below you’ll find titles, summaries, and goodreads links.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley's dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There's just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend. Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy's best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it's really Laura Dean that's the problem. Maybe it's Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever. Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta Danny didn't know what she was looking for when she and her mother spread out a map of the United States and Danny put her finger down on Tempest, California. What she finds are the Grays: a group of friends who throw around terms like queer and witch like they're ordinary and everyday, though they feel like an earthquake to Danny. But Danny didn't just find the Grays. They cast a spell that calls her halfway across the country, because she has something they need: she can bring back Imogen, the most powerful of the Grays, missing since the summer night she wandered into the woods alone. But before Danny can find Imogen, she finds a dead boy with a redwood branch through his heart. Something is very wrong amid the trees and fog of the Lost Coast, and whatever it is, it can kill. Lush, eerie, and imaginative, Amy Rose Capetta's tale overflows with the perils and power of discovery — and what it means to find your home, yourself, and your way forward.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana. There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Before, Jessica has always struggled with anger issues, but come sophomore year that all changes when Vivi crashes into her life. As their relationship blossoms, Vivi not only helps Jess deal with her pain, she also encourages her to embrace her talent as an artist. And for the first time, it feels like the future is filled with possibilities. After In the midst of senior year, Jess’s perfect world is erased when Vivi suddenly passes away. Reeling from the devastating loss, Jess pushes everyone away, and throws out her plans to go to art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Desperate for an escape, Jess gets consumed in her work-study program, letting all of her dreams die. Until she makes an unexpected new friend who shows her a new way to channel her anger, passion, and creativity. Although Jess may never draw again, if she can find a way to heal and room in her heart, she just might be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more...

How It Feels To Float by Helena Fox Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Going Off Script by Jen Wilde Seventeen-year-old Bex is thrilled when she gets an internship on her favorite tv show, Silver Falls. Unfortunately, the internship isn't quite what she expected... instead of sitting in a crowded writer's room volleying ideas back and forth, Production Interns are stuck picking up the coffee. Determined to prove her worth as a writer, Bex drafts her own script and shares it with the head writer―who promptly reworks it and passes it off as his own! Bex is understandably furious, yet...maybe this is just how the industry works? But when they rewrite her proudly lesbian character as straight, that's the last straw! It's time for Bex and her crush to fight back.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica. While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day.

#queer fiction #wlw books #wlw literature #queer literature #lgbtqa literature #lgbt #book recommendations #yeah i'm gonna do this every year wlw books excite me

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skonnaris · 4 years

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50 books read in High School Worth Revisiting

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: High school students who go on to college can quite easily nurture a firsthand understanding of the self-serving hedonism found at the center of this beloved classic. And then they’ll either despise it even more or relate all too well.

Beowulf by unknown: Pick up the popular Old English epic after forgetting the seemingly endless lectures and settle in to a thoroughly enjoyable adventure tale.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger: Depending on one’s circumstances when first picking up The Catcher in the Rye, protagonist Holden Caulfield is either a counterculture revelation or a whiny, pretentious brat. Revisiting him later in life will inevitably shift perceptions to some degree, be it major or minor.

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston: Some high school students may scoff at the soapier elements found on Zora Neale Hurston’s Harlem Renaissance essential, but older adults are more likely to see and admire the strength, courage and resolve of heroine Janie Crawford.

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The real tragedy of Romeo and Juliet isn’t their mistaken, needless deaths. It’s their staggering myopia and selfishness.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey: Anyone who has ever personally suffered from a psychiatric disorder — or loves someone who does — might find the marginalization of the mentally ill in this undeniable classic both disturbing and tragically accurate. It may take some time and experience between high school and the next read for such bitter facts to really seize hold.

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo: Les Miserables is huge. When reading it in English class, deadlines might preclude many students from really picking up on the book’s myriad juicy nuances. Revisiting it later offers far more time to sit and ponder everything Hugo wanted audiences to see.

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy: As with Les Miserables, time constraints and other academic obligations make it difficult to really become absorbed in War and Peace. When picking it up and reading on a more personal schedule, visitors are more likely to forge a far more solid grasp of the material.

Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko: More sensitive high school students may find protagonist Tayo’s spiritual, emotional and physical healing process too intense for their tastes. But as they age and gain more life experience, Ceremony could very well prove exactly what they need one day.

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe: As long as there are nations battling it out over land and squashing indigenous cultures beneath their boots, postcolonial literature will always be relevant. Chances are, anyone reading Things Fall Apartas a high school student will probably be able to apply many of its tenets to current events. When they re-read it as adults, they might find themselves sadly noting how little things have changed.

The Jungle by Upton Sinclair: Both at the turn of the 20th Century and on into today, most readers (even teachers) tend to emphasize Upton Sinclair’s visceral descriptions of unsanitary food production — especially since it directly spawned hefty legislation. In reality, though, he wanted it to shed light on the plight of exploited workers. Give his classic another visit later in life and see how the story changes when reading it with this in mind.

Beloved by Toni Morrison: Toni Morrison deliberately left many elements of her celebrated novel ambiguous, so any subsequent readings will inevitably churn up new perspectives, details and interpretations.

The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan: Because family stands as this classic’s core theme, The Joy Luck Club never goes out of style. Whenever issues with parents arise, refer back to it for solace and insight.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker: When life grows too overwhelming, timeless heroine Celie provides inspiration to press on — no matter what sort of adversity and cruelty stonewalls happiness and stability.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain: The sociopolitical elements driving this famous narrative are incredibly important to understanding it as a whole, but focusing too much on them — as one would in an English class — glosses over the comparatively more lighthearted adventure elements.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: Understandably, many first-time Frankensteinreaders dive into the novel expecting a green-skinned simpleton with bolts in his neck — and find themselves shocked when encountering something completely different. Give it a re-read and see what may have been missed when consciously or subconsciously making comparisons with the iconic movie.

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway: High school students sigh over this leisurely-paced classic, but older adults seeking something more philosophical than frenetic might find it exactly what they want.

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller: Hopefully, picking up the searing Death of a Salesman at just the right time will prevent many students and adults from falling into the same lifestyle traps as tragic Willy Loman.

The Stranger by Albert Camus: Existentialism probably seems intense and somewhat inaccessible to many high schoolers, but one of the philosophy’s cornerstones warrants further consideration once they pack on more life experiences.

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad: Puncturing through allegory after allegory after allegory grows tiresome after a while, and a fair amount of individuals might enjoy Heart of Darkness far more if they didn’t have to so painstakingly dissect every word.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou: Maya Angelou’s poetic autobiography is at once heartbreaking and inspiring — an ultimately uplifting tale perfect for anyone needing a dash or two of courage.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut: An American treasure, Kurt Vonnegut may not necessarily appeal to harried high schoolers lacking the time to really sit and think about his statements regarding society, religion and politics. Approaching him with the proper time frame and mindset will make Slaughterhouse-Five and his other works burst with life and lessons.

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka: "Monstrous vermin" Gregor Samsa serves as a viable literary outlet for anyone, anywhere feeling as if the world treads all over their stability and happiness. Reading about the horrific abuses his family heaps upon him provides a strange, comforting sense of solidarity.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte-: Though fiction, Wuthering Heights makes for one of the most prominent lessons in how mentally and emotionally abusive relationships operate – something women and men alike absolutely need to know if they hope to keep themselves safe.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck: Most of Steinbeck’s oeuvre deserves multiple reads, but his story of a developmentally disabled man and his devoted caretaker remains one of the most heart-wrenching American novels ever printed. And one whose tragic ending merits a wealth of conversations.

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra: Because Don Quixotepossesses such a rich history and left an indelible mark on popular culture, bibliophiles of all ages find themselves coming back again and again to enjoy the adventures of the eponymous dreamer.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: This semi-autobiographical novel sheds considerable light on a life wracked with mental illness — a somber, realistic lesson every adult must understand. The Bell Jar also serves as a reminder that anyone emotionally struggling doesn’t always do so alone.

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess: Readers who don’t understand Russian or cockney slang (aka most of them) need to read this warped dystopian novel multiple times to understand what in God’s name the characters are even saying.

A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen: Written before the feminist movement rose up and fought for women’s equality, one of Henrik Ibsen’s most popular plays toyed with the scandalous notion that some housewives may pine for a life outside their husbands, homes and kids.

The Awakening by Kate Chopin: Another recommended read for the liberated woman and the men who appreciate them, though many fans of this book find themselves divided over whether or not they fully agree with the central figure’s actions.

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift: English classes spend so much time zeroing in on the wealth of social, political and religious commentary found in Gulliver’s Travels, they oftentimes forget to address just how much fun the book actually is.

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison: Dense and intense, Ralph Ellison’s brutal analysis of pre-Civil Rights race relations is required reading for any students and adults hoping to end bigotry in all its twisted, ugly guises.

Maus by Art Spiegelman: Maus currently holds the honor of being the only Pulitzer-winning graphic novel, a status that rightfully earned it a place on many a syllabus. Despite its grim content — Art Spiegelman’s very real talks with his father about his Holocaust experiences — the valuable lessons about family and history remain timeless.

Inferno by Dante Alighieri: All three portions of Dante Alighieri’s epic poetry trilogy The Divine Comedy are required reading, but his bizarre, highly detailed depiction of hell holds the most influence over the literary world today — not to mention pop culture as a whole.

1984 by George Orwell: No literary history aficionados will argue that George Orwell’s terrifying totalitarian dystopia birthed the entire genre, but it certainly left the biggest impact. Political pundits enjoy trotting out parallels to 1984 when discussing administrations they hate. Citizens familiarizing themselves with the novel’s tenets and context can tell whether or not they have a real point or are just resorting to paranoid fearmongering.

Nectar in a Sieve by Kamala Markandaya: Despite the many hardships heaped upon protagonist Rukmani, hers is a story of strength and perseverance that many students and adults may want to consult when seeking comfort in times of trouble.

Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton: Though apartheid may have ended, its legacy of intolerance and discord provides future generations with the tools to identify and stop such practices before they even have a chance to start.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller: Readers of all ages with a particular affinity for absurdity and political commentary — especially as it relates to wartime — keep coming back to this novel again and again for laughs and truth bombs.

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros: Bibliophiles looking for a great bildungsroman to read over and over again have plenty to love about and explore with this compelling story about a young Chicana and her life in an impoverished Chicago neighborhood.

A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O’Connor: Though an obviously subjective statement, many consider Flannery O’Connor one of the best American short story writers of all time. In such a confined space, she thrived with some incredibly provocative, influential narratives well worth reconsideration.

Night by Elie Wiesel: In his autobiography, Elie Wiesel recounts his gruesome experiences in Auschwitz and Buchenwald with the hopes of educating the world about the Holocaust’s horrors. Giving Night more than one look helps drive home its major historical themes, imbuing readers with the knowledge needed to better recognize hate and genocide.

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi: This new classic is at once hilarious and heartbreaking. Through deceptively simple art, writer and cartoonist Marjane Satrapi recounts her childhood during the Islamic Revolution in Iran and the different set of prejudices faced as an expatriate in Europe.

Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon: Gravity’s Rainbow necessitates multiple reads because it involves over 400 characters embroiled in increasingly absurdist, surreal situations. Anyone who says they understand everything in one read is probably lying just to seem smart. Punch him or her in the face.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles: The comparatively cushy lives of private school students in New England are juxtaposed with young men forced to the front lines of World War II, with a strange and interesting friendship right in the center.

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole: Not only is it a provocative read — especially when one factors in author John Kennedy Toole’s tragic life — this posthumous Pulitzer winner also happens to be one of the most hilarious novels ever published.

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens: Charles Dickens attracts such a massive audience, most of his oeuvre could’ve easily made this list. A Tale of Two Cities oftentimes bores high school students, but as they grow older they may come to love its history and memorable characters.

Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott: Aside from the fact that this novel exists as one of the greatest satires ever written in English, it also warrants multiple reads for the sheer originality and imagination.

A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf: In her book-length essay A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf opines on feminism, sexuality (most especially lesbianism) and the importance of financial autonomy and personal space for writers.

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri: Short stories of Indians and Indian-Americans intertwine thematically, raising some excellent questions about multiculturalism, family, relationships and plenty of other subjects bibliophiles delight in discussing.

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse: Both the spiritually-minded and those adhering to no religious credos at all appreciate this reflective classic and turn to it for meditative advice.

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musingmycelium · 5 years

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about the character meme

uwu tagged by @my-da-phase thank you friend!

i’ll do this for william since i’ve........ done it for everyone else already.... jljlkjkljlkj

a favourite picture/faceclaim for your muse:

hands down this is my favorite to use for william bc the ENERGY is Extremely Williamcore, the soft expression, the hands, the windswept hair, the FLUTE -its perfect and willie cartier is william’s face claim anyways so like, houough!

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

william is an apostate but he doesn’t use typical magics. his is more focused on clairvoyance and guidance instead of, like, fire and lightning and shit. and it’s always been that way, his magic manifested when he was... 7 or 8 i think? when some sheep got lost after one of those summer rainstorms where you’re sure the world isn’t going to be left after and he and malcolm went to go look for them, william’s magic blooms for the first time as a kind of trail, wispy and spirit like, leading them to the frightened sheep. malcolm is impressed, leandra not so much

i’m Mean so william loses both bethany and carver, and one of the first things he does in the amell estate is to plant a peach tree and an apple tree in the courtyard because those where their favorite fruits respectively. andrastians cremate their dead but william likes to think their spirits are at least happy about those

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

okay william likes to read, he’s got a voracious appetite for stories. fiction, short stories, folk lore, all of those william will Devour if given half a chance tho he’ll read like histories and stuff too he just prefers nonsense to real things because he has enough wild shit in his real life already, he needs an escape

he has a beautiful singing voice which he uses only when he’s out with the sheep because he’s super self-conscious of it. super deep and mellow sounding, like the wind before a summer storm. he mostly sings folk songs he learned from malcolm while in lothering but in kirkwall he doesn’t get the chance to sing super often

so, being a shepherd means he has lots of time to himself and since william doesn’t like to be bored he takes up whittling to pass the time. he isn’t... Good at it by any means but he likes it and its a calming hands-on activity he can do basically wherever -as long as he doesn’t get wood chips everywhere lol

― seven people your muse loves/likes:

varric, leandra, carver/bethany, fenris, merrill, sandal, isabela -maybe not in that exact order but those are the ones william is closest with out of the kirkwall crew

― a phobia your muse has:

loosing his newly found family like he lost his birth family. it plagues william that couldn’t heal his dad’s fever, that he couldn’t save bethany from the ogre, that he brought carver down on the expedition and it killed him, that he ignored/missed the warning signs and got his mother tortured and killed in a horrific way. william never wants to loose varric or any of the other misfits they’ve got like that and it terrifies him that his life is so dangerous not to himself but to his loved ones

uwu i’ll tag @goblin-deity @gingerbreton @keeperscompanionsdai <3 no obligations of course!

#thanks for the tag!#hehehe #william hawke

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letterboxd · 5 years

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Emma Tammi Q&A.

“To be able to really see her for who she really is when she’s by herself is such a powerful thing since it turns out that she’s a real badass.”

Caitlin Gerard as Lizzy Macklin in Emma Tammi’s ‘The Wind’.

Of the many possible source materials for a feature film, never overlook the short. Jim Cummings’ Thunder Road, Gillian Robespierre’s Obvious Child, Damien Chazelle’s Whiplash, Andrés Muschietti’s Mama, and Sean Ellis’s Cashback all began life as short films. And more: the Saw films. District 9. Dee Rees’ Pariah. Jennifer Kent’s Monster (which she expanded into The Babadook).

After a start in documentaries, director Emma Tammi makes her feature debut with The Wind, a lengthened version of a short film called The Winter, adapted by its writer Teresa Sutherland. The supernatural Western horror revolves around Lizzy Macklin (Caitlin Gerard, Insidious: The Last Key, The Social Network), a woman left alone in a lob cabin on the plains, who is fighting to not lose her mind.

Letterboxd contributor Jack Moulton chatted with Tammi about her narrative debut, the cultural references infused in this haunting feminist chiller, and Westerns in the #MeToo era.

Letterboxd: Let’s start with your take on the origins of this project and how you were brought on board to direct The Wind? Emma Tammi: The screenwriter Teresa Sutherland was a film student at Florida State University and she made a short film called The Winter, which was loosely based on the same themes as The Wind. Our producer Christopher Alender, who is also alumni of FSU, saw the short and encouraged her to expand it into a feature. So Teresa had written this script prior to me coming on board.

Chris and I worked together on another documentary project and he thought I might be a good fit to direct, so I read the script and I loved it. I then met Teresa and I think we shared the same visions for what the film could ultimately be. We did a couple of polished passes together and then we were shooting later that year. It all came together organically based on prior relationships and all of us believing in the story.

What did you connect to the most about the script? I loved that it was a Western and that it was focusing on a female character, which was not something that I felt like we’d seen much before. I also loved that Teresa was inspired by these actual accounts of women who were homesteading at that time, since I was fascinated with the American West as a teenager and had actually picked up some of the books that she used as original research.

I thought it was fun how Teresa was starting with something rooted in reality and taking it to a horror and supernatural place. But the thing that really I think hooked me after I read it was that I thought the protagonist Lizzy was so well developed, and I thought all the character arcs were really strong. I felt that the horror was coming from the dramatic strengths of the characters’ relationships and their own personal struggles. It felt like really strong ground.

‘The Wind’ director Emma Tammi.

You had more of a background in documentary filmmaking before this—what compelled you to make a start in fictional narratives? Do you feel being an ‘outsider’ to the genre aided your vision of the film? That’s an interesting question. I had been working in documentary films for many years and I feel that was great preparation for making a narrative film despite the differences. Both my parents were actors so I had grown up around theater and fiction filmmakers my whole life. So I think that it felt like something I had always wanted to eventually get to.

I’m so fascinated with our world that I think documentary is such an interesting lens to explore things that are happening. But to then be able to step into a fictional realm I think you can explore the human experience to an even greater extreme. Once we started shooting, the process of working with the actors was even more enriching and incredible than I ever could have anticipated.

What were your film influences for The Wind—especially the specific horrors and Westerns that inspired the look and the feel? I think that one of the things that [director of photography] Lyn Moncrief and I really wanted to do was pay homage to some of the frames from Westerns that have become such big cultural references in our lives. But we wanted to find ways that we could have a fresh take with that [and] subvert it to give a new perspective to the landscape, since we were telling this from a female unreliable narrator and I think that both of those things in Westerns are pretty hard to come by. So, in that sense, I liked how we basically turned the camera 90 degrees and held on the women as the men rode off to town. I was really inspired by The Searchers (1956), for example.

In terms of the horror I feel that there is a comparison to The Shining (1980) in the sense of how it’s a slow burn where the environment is coming in on our lead character. Pacing-wise, in building up the tension, I was really inspired by that. I thought Carrie (1976) was also a really interesting reference in terms of the horror. The first horror scene is simply Sissy Spacek getting her period in a girls locker room and it’s completely terrifying.

I thought so many of the things that women experience in this time were horrific and yet they were just coming out of the mundane day-to-day life events of trying to live and sustain in such an inhospitable land at that time. I love that The Wind was taking the horror cues from the everyday things that we all experience.

Caitlin Gerard’s performance is truly terrific. She anchors the film brilliantly as it jumps from its time periods. What drew you to her in the casting process and did she bring anything new to what had already been set in the script? During auditions I kept asking for more people because I really didn’t feel like we found our Lizzy yet. Caitlin was one of the last ones and was so balls-to-walls, showing such range in three different scenes. We just wouldn’t be able to fully enter this world without hanging our hat on a lead actress who didn’t have that level of grit. So that was incredible.

One of the most important things that she brought to the table was the fact that she had a German background, which we didn’t consider before in terms of Lizzy. I had initially been talking to Teresa about Lizzy’s background, thinking that it would make sense for her to be an immigrant, which was very common of that period. To implement that in the script would really add to the isolation that she might be feeling on the land, in this country, and also between her and Isaac [her husband, played by Ashley Zukerman].

We wrote that into the script days before shooting and then were continuing to work on it throughout the shoot. I thought that was such a nice brush stroke and dimension that Caitlin was able to add because she speaks German and it was fabulous.

What motivated the nonlinear structure of the film? Did you have to adjust anything in the edit to make a particular section work better from how it was laid out in the script? Teresa had already tapped into establishing the nonlinear structure of the film beforehand in a way that would reflect the mental fractured-ness of Lizzy’s headspace. I think it really helps us feel the unreliable narrator so strongly. But we did have to juggle some of the order in post so the edit is different from the order of the script, but I think we were able to find the essence of the script at the end of the day. Those were decisions based on logistics like the performances and the coverage, or the sound and special effects. You just need to recalibrate to keep the pacing in the edit.

Were there any notable challenges on set, such as dealing with the period setting or shooting in such a remote location? We really lucked out in the sense that we got a really strong and dedicated team. I think that everyone was so committed and so talented that we were pretty flexible when challenges would come up. The remoteness really added to the production because we were all able to immerse ourselves in that time period and in that world and not be as connected to the outside and technology.

I’m sure our producers would have a different story to tell because not being able to access your email onset is a nightmare. Basically none of our cellphones worked in these locations. Despite the problems, there were great benefits in shooting in the middle of nowhere.

Through the film, you use the realities of settler life for horror and tension, such as the wild animals, the lack of medical care and, obviously, the weather. How did you negotiate the balance between the realities and the supernatural, especially since you often leave questions unanswered with the latter? We really wanted to start in a way that let you experience the environment as it was, and then start to get in a place where you experience the environment through Lizzy’s point of view, letting it really rev up into something that was ultimately quite terrorizing. I think we were trying to push the natural elements into a more hyper-realized place so it was close to a supernatural place. It’s like playing a piece of music where it flows from the peaks and the valleys.

Can you describe the decision-making process around how you kept the ‘monster’ hidden as much as possible? It’s very effective, but also lends itself to questions on the specifics. How the haunting element would be both seen and heard was something we were talking about even in the script rewriting stages, and I think we wanted to really lean into all of this being an extension of the torment that Lizzy was feeling internally. So questioning whether or not there was actually a “boogeyman” out there was more interesting and more true to the character than actually seeing the “boogeyman”.

But the other element of it was that since this was set in the late 1800s I think we really wanted to show and hear hints of it that were coming from the natural world, so “the wind” and how that transformed was really the scary element of the sound design. In terms of the visuals, we were leaning into shadows and elements of fire and dust and things that were of that environment. I wanted to do something that felt practical even when it wasn’t.

I’d like to ask you how you feel the film operates as a period piece to reflect current times. I felt that the way Lizzy is constantly wielding her shotgun is an empowering and feminist subversion of the masculine individualist gunslinger from classic Westerns. Were you consciously revising frontier myth in that cinematic sense? I think we were consciously doing that but I don’t think it was the overt intention of the script, which is what I really liked about it. I felt that all of those things were coming out so naturally and they weren’t forced. What’s so interesting with Lizzy is that we spend so much time with her while she’s by herself, but she’s constantly trying to put on a brave face for her husband, or for her neighbors, and for the outside world, which I think we can all relate to.

And then to be able to see her for who she really is when she’s by herself is such a powerful thing since it turns out that she’s a real badass. She’s wielding the gun, she’s doing all that stuff that she needs to do out of necessity, but it’s also without any pretense and without having to be a certain thing to any certain person because she’s ultimately there being herself and trying to survive.

I feel it resonates in the #MeToo era in the way she’s threatened by powerful forces and then the man in her life doesn’t believe her. Yeah, I think it does and I love that about it. If we’d made it five years ago it still would have resonated. It’s also a very human experience that she’s going through and our current times are shedding light on it in different ways and that’s so cool. I think the horror genre is able to put a mirror up to ourselves in such a powerful way.

‘The Wind’ opens in US cinemas on limited release 5 April 2019.

#emma tammi #the wind #Female directors #directed by women #metoo #interview #letterboxd #director

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the-apocryphal-one · 5 years

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Novel Review: Uprooted by Naomi Novik

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.”

I’m sorry, but when you open up your book with that paragraph, intentionally invoking and subverting typical fairy tale tropes with a fun tongue-in-cheek narration...you’ve got me hooked. And if you get me hooked like that, you’d better follow through. And this book did. Hot damn it was good. I binged it in a day.

Apparently the author used to write fanfiction; it shows, because she took away all the good lessons you learn from it and left behind the bad parts. Uprooted is a stand-alone medieval fantasy with a refreshingly original tale and lovely use of fairy tale tropes and you should definitely check it out.

Summary: Once a decade, the Dragon comes and Chooses a single girl from the valley he protects as payment. Agnieszka (Nieshka for short) doesn’t worry about being taken; she worries about her beautiful, talented, perfect best friend Kasia, who everyone knows will be Chosen. But for a reason Nieshka can’t fathom, the Dragon picks her instead, and she gets sucked into a world that is dark and horrifying...but not in the ways you’d expect it to be.

Spoiler-free cliffnotes review:

- After a while, YA female protagonists start to get cookie-cutter. Nieshka is not at all cookie-cutter; she’s unique, sweet, and genuinely flawed. I never found myself irritated with her, and I kept getting prouder and prouder of her as she grew into her own.

- Likewise, YA romances tend to be cookie-cutter and feel shallow or lust-based. And don’t get me started on the love triangles. But thankfully, there are no love triangles here, and the romance is background, slow-burn emotional goodness. Bonus points for neither lead being hot; they’re actually kind of plain. Poor Nieshka especially gets called horse-faced and nothing special to look at.

- The other characters are all developed well; Kasia, the wizards at court, the royals, the antagonists, they all have their own distinct personalities and motivations. And boooooooy I love Nieshka’s friendship with Kasia, it is Good and Strong and we need more platonic relationships like that in literature.

- Worldbuilding was enticing, I was genuinely interested in the different legends and histories and songs. Downside is the world itself felt a little confusing in terms of layout; nothing that created a plot hole, but I could have used a map.

- Novik’s prose is beautiful, and especially shines when she’s creating atmosphere, but can be a bit too long at times. It definitely slowed me down while I was reading.

- She’s great at pacing and tension. The stakes start small but important, and then they grow a little larger, and then they just spiral up and up and more and more is at risk and I kept holding my breath waiting to see how the heroes would get through it this time.

...And have the spoiler version below the cut:

The Gushing:

- honestly I love Nieshka because she is just so unlike your typical YA protagonist. A lot of them are cold, brave, loner-types who don’t need help. Nieshka’s a self-admitted coward, genuinely clumsy (she’s always dirty from spilling stuff on herself and tripping), and anxious...but also a big sweetheart, idealistic, and kinda spacey. Like the Dragon took her to teach her magic, and she keeps thinking about how restrictive it is. Then she starts thinking about it in terms of wandering through the woods not knowing what she’s looking for, but she’ll know when she finds it, and she’s picking berries in her head, and suddenly: boom, magic. And the Dragon is furious because that’s too unorganized, what do you mean woods there aren’t any woods here, how are you doing it????

- it is essentially Wizard vs Sorcerer, to put it in DnD terms, only she is the only Sorceress in a world of Wizards and they can’t. get. it. it’s hilarious. (but she also can’t do their stuff, she has all the power without the precise control. They’re all stronger working together, so it’s not “super specialness”, it’s a fair trade)

- Delicious slow-burn, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers romance, yum. It’s written subtly and beautifully; I love the detail when she stops thinking of the Dragon by his title and starts thinking of him by his name. You just see the relationship changing without being told it is.

- speaking of, I love the Dragon. He’s laid out as nuanced and “not a bad lord” from the start--protective of his vassals, enough to personally step in to help them, but also extremely distant. He thinks of the needs of the many vs the few, he’s grumpy, he never socializes, and he demands a sacrifice of a girl every decade--just to clean his tower, but everyone thinks the worst because he doesn’t do anything to make them think otherwise. So no one likes him except in that local proud “he’s our lord” way. And he keeps getting taken off-guard by Nieshka (again: “HOW ARE YOU CASTING LIKE THAT?!”) in a way that’s kind of adorable.

- Nieshka's profession at the end is becoming a druid-type healer. I LOVE THAT. there’s like some stigma against women doing feminine things in YA literature, and Nieshka just goes for it. She has the power to be a war-witch, and she’s used her magic that way, but she hated seeing battle and death. She goes “nope, I’m gonna peace out and heal the damage caused by this war.”

- I love how Nieshka knows the Dragon is gonna run from their relationship and decides she’s not gonna beg him to stay bc he needs to figure that out for himself. If he doesn’t come back, she’ll be sad, but she’ll move on. Her life doesn’t revolve around him, that’s refreshing, and it makes the moment he does come back (bc of course he does) that much better.

- Nieshka and Kasia’s friendship is the Good Shit, they’re just completely devoted to each other and it’s not at all framed in a romantic way. ACTUALLY their platonic love is the central relationship of the story instead of the romance, and I LOVE THAT, because romance shouldn’t be The Only And The Biggest bond in our life. But they also have their secret envies and hurts, but their friendship just grows stronger for it??? it’s just so good???

- Okay, for some non-Nieshka things (but seriously I love her), how about the side characters? They’re never reduced to “stop mattering when the hero leaves the screen”, they get motivations explained and other facets of their character explored. Alosha the witch-blacksmith, the Dragon’s rival the Falcon, KASIA, Prince Marek. Marek is like the perfect shadow archetype of Nieshka, they both really want to save someone they love from the Wood, they both refuse to quit, and it’s just plain bad luck that his quest was doomed from the start. So even though she hates what he does, she understands why he’s doing it, and admits she might well have done the same in his shoes.

- The Wood is terrifying. Novik uses a lot of pretty descriptive words in her narration that borders on flowery at points, but when it comes to the Wood, it underlines how horrific that place is. At one point, the Wood corrupts Kasia, and she describes sap seeping out of her eyes and mouth and I gagged reading it. Or here, take this paragraph:

“I could see light shining through my own skin, making a blazing lantern of my body, and when I held up my hands, I saw to my horror faint shadows moving there beneath the surface. Forgetting the feverish pain, I caught at my dress and dragged it off over my head. He knelt down on the floor with me. I was shining like a sun, the thin shadows moving through me like fish swimming beneath the ice in winter.”

- yes thank you I really needed the imagery of living evil fish swimming under someone’s skin in my life (translation: beautiful prose but ahhhh!)

- plus the Wood is alive and incredibly smart. It spends the whole book playing speed chess and keeping you double-guessing every apparent victory the heroes have. Combined with the supernatural/horror aspects, it really feels like an eldritch and dreadful force of nature.

- there are like three books’ worth of plot in this one, but they all get developed and paced well. there’s just so much content, and it’s varied and exciting and gripping--training with the Dragon, rescues in the Wood, courtly intrigue, a siege on a tower, kickass magic battles, and The Big Final Mission which ends in a way I don’t want to spoil, even in the spoiler section.

Critiques:

- I really wish Novik included a map of the land, because I just kept getting confused where everything was. At first I was under the impression the Dragon’s tower was to the west, closest to the Wood; then it and the Wood turned out to be in the east? And the capital is...north, northwest of that? But then why are Nieskha and Kasia crossing mountains to get to the Dragon’s tower in the south, the mountains are in the east too, dividing them from Rosya, right??? where even is everything??????? it��s possible I was a dumbell and just misread/misremembered stuff, but that’s why a map would have been helpful.

- Novik’s writing style is beautiful, it’s fairy tale-esque and fits the setting...but once in a while it’s too much, you know? She really, really wants you immersed in the physical sensations of the world she created, and in cases like the Woods, it works well to convey the sheer monstrosity of the place. In other cases, it feels kinda like a slog; there’s one point where she writes at length about the pattern of a carpet. How interesting.

- Usually in YA fiction, the heroine doesn’t care about her parents or vice versa. Thankfully that’s averted here, but Nieshka mentions she has three brothers...who she doesn’t really think or care about. There’s a nice scene when she first arrives at the tower and starts crying about how she’s lost her parents, but her brothers? Nada. They don’t even get names or show up, with no explanation; at the very least a line about how they’re so much older than her that they’re not close would have satisfied me, but there’s nothing like that. It’s not huge, but it’s jarring.

- while I love the Dragon and Nieshka’s emotional relationship, I do admit the physical aspects felt sudden. Novik basically has it so that magically working together creates a charged intimacy between them, and the first time it happened I loved it because it seemed like it was gonna be ‘the gateway’ to more. Instead, it kind of ends up a crutch for their physical relationship. It’s like “slow burn, slow burn, magic, KISSAGE, slow burn, slow burn, magic, SEX”.

#book review #uprooted #book rec

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rosecorcoranwrites · 6 years

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Thoughts on Horror (Plus Recommendations!)

“Horror” is a difficult genre to pin down, because there are so many things that horrify us. Gore, death, the unknown, stepping on a snail barefoot (10/10 would not recommend). For the longest time, I didn’t think I liked horror until I started reading r/NoSleep, a subreddit wherein people tell fictional scary stories, but everyone—author and readers—pretend they're real, like a strange forum for people who have had terrifying and otherworldly experiences that you might accidentally run across if you were researching the supernatural (there is, by the way, a different subreddit for nonfiction accounts of supernatural encounters). I love the stories on r/NoSleep, and after thinking about it, realized that I also really like Asian horror like Seeds of Anxiety, The Eye, and some episodes of xxxHolic. On the other hand, I’m not a fan of Ringu or The Grudge. I can’t stand most American horror movies, be they monster movies, zombie flicks, or slasher films, but I like do A Quiet Place and most of Shyamalan's work. I theorize that, for me, it’s comes down to the type of horror in question. Thus, I thought I would examine these types and break the horror genre into several subcategories, based on how the horror is achieved.

Slasher: These are your basic blood and guts visceral scares. Obviously franchises like The Purge and Saw fit in here, but I would argue that Nightmare on Elm Street and a great many Steven King movies (the supernatural ones, anyway) fit in as well. Some might argue with this last assertion, saying those fears are psychological or psychic in nature, but I think that they're still handled like slasher movies. Anyone can die, usually in over-the-top gruesome ways. While Pennywise or Freddy Krueger might have the trappings of dark entities that can manifest your fears or invade your dreams, they’re actually just souped-up spree-killers who happen to be able to murder a little more creatively than most. The “horror” of this genre comes from disgust and shock. Jump scares and gore are used to great effect. To be honest, I’m not a fan of this kind of horror, first because I think it’s gross and icky but also because it doesn’t really stick with you. It’s scary while you’re watching (or reading? Are there slasher books?), but once you’re done, you don't really worry about any of it anymore.

Suspense: These are based around a sense of unease and nervousness. These are edge-of-your-seat stories. Who can you trust? What is real? Some of these will use dramatic irony (we know there’s a murderer in the house, but the character doesn’t!). A great deal of them use disability as a theme, whether to make the main character appear more vulnerable (as in The Spiral Staircase, Rear Window, or Scream of Fear), to portray the villain as more terrifying (like The Visit and Don’t Breathe), or to examine something interesting about the disability itself (like Wait Until Dark or The Eye). Occasionally this genre will add supernatural or scifi elements for added scares. The Thing is a great example of this: the monster spends most of the film on screen, and the audience knows this, but it’s a shapeshifter, so they don’t know who it is. Suspense often has twist endings, and will leave you thinking, if not actually frightened, long after the story has ended.

Uncanny: This horror is one of existential dread, brought on by the question, what was it?. This is the realm of things being where they just shouldn’t (staircases in the middle of the woods, teeth anywhere other than in a mouth, a mouth anywhere other than on a head), or of things that should be there, but that aren’t (like chilling out with a friend one night, only to get a text informing you that he had died the day before). These stories raise your hair and shiver your spine, because unlike the violence of slashers and the fear of suspense—two things which our primate brains can wrap around—uncanny horror can’t be understood on a purely physical level. Real-life strange-encounter stories fall into this category: I heard someone call my name, even though I was home alone; we caught something big on camera crawling up the side of a building; I saw a white thing. Fictional stories of this nature are best when kept short, with as little explanation as possible. The horror comes from not understanding, of not knowing, and of kind of not wanting to know. The best uncanny stories stick with you, making you a little afraid to look in mirrors or check on noises or walk along rivers at night, because what if you saw something, and worse, didn't know what it was.

Spooky: Ok, so this one isn’t actually a type of horror, and it’s not horrific in any way, but I had to add it as an honorable mention. This is a difficult genre to fit anywhere. Is it fantasy? Supernatural? Horror? Books like Something Wicked this Way Comes and cartoons like Over the Garden Wall epitomize this genre. They aren’t scary, but parts are kind of… spooky. They’re fun, and low-key, and usually kid-friendly, but they still have that slight otherworldly autumnal feel, like when you’re taking a walk and you feel like maybe this particular spot on the trail might be a little haunted, but then you think that’s a weird thing to think, but you still can’t shake the feeling that you're right. There’s something oddly natural about their supernatural elements, like the writers have tapped into something that we can’t see, but that we all know is there. If you’re the sort who wants to read or watch something for Halloween, but you hate being scared, find something spooky!

And that is my breakdown of the horror genre. It’s probably not exhaustive, but I think those are the three or four main groups. They may be combined (in monster stories especially) or refined, and come as movies, books, video games, short stories, and even comics. Because it’s October, and you might all be looking for some scary or spooky stories, I’m here to help (not with slasher stuff, though, sorry). These include old and new stories, from both professional writers and random people on the internet. I highly recommend them all: For suspense:

Wait Until Dark (movie)

The Visit (movie)

The Eye (movie (Hong Kong version))

For uncanny:

Stories from a Canadian Research Outpost (r/NoSleep series)

I'ma Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (r/NoSleep series)

Seeds of Anxiety (manga. As far as I know, it's not available to buy in English, so I don't feel bad linking to a scanlation site. Starts a bit goofy, but gets scarier as it goes on. DO NOT READ if you don't like being royally creeped out.)

For spooky:

Something Wicked This Way Comes (book)

October Country (book of short stories)

Over the Garden Wall (TV mini-series)

Hard to categorize, but still highly recommended:

Tales from the Gas Station (r/NoSleep series, but soon to be a book)

The Things We See in the Woods (r/NoSleep short story)

The Yellow Wallpaper (short story)

Originally posted on www.rosecororanwrites.com

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gracemulhollandstudio · 3 years

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‘Horrible Heroes: Liberating Alternative Visions of Disability in Horror’

Understanding disability requires understanding its social construction, and social construction can be read in cultural products. In this essay

My analysis reveals that horror fiction can, paradoxically, win space for new and liberating political and social thinking about disability, thereby subverting ableism

Kristevean analysis, unlike previous analyses of horror's treatment of disability, shows how, exactly, disability imagery is so useful in achieving the aims of the genre.

Using Kristeva as a starting point allows me to reveal the significance of the reversed empathy in Burton and King, which can help us build bridges toward political inclusion by aligning us with the vulnerable and excluded.

The abject is that which transgresses categories, which "disturbs identity, system, order"; it is "the in-between, the ambiguous, the composite" (Kristeva 1982, 4)

Concepts and images which call up abjection include encroachments upon categorical borders, including hybridity. Hybrids cross lines separating natural and artificial, nature and culture, and self and other. An apt monster to drive horror fiction is the abject, a thing which challenges science, culture, or categorical thinking. Boundaries are crossed as the familiar is mixed with the strange.

It is comforting to believe that the boundaries we construct are real and natural, especially when it comes to our own subjectivity

fostering the acceptance of vulnerability and pushing for the rejection of exclusive social norms and ableism by highlighting them as horrific.

I am particularly interested in those instances in which Burton and King's terrifying and uncanny fictional worlds are populated by young or childlike protagonists.

Often, horror in Burton and King is not the monstrous or disabled bodies that our heroes at times inhabit; instead, what is horrifying is society and its rigid cruelty. Exclusion, cruelty, and normalization are posed as threat and elicit audience dis-identification.

Exclusion, cruelty, and normalization are posed as threat and elicit audience dis-identification.

The exceptional way both Burton and King have treated difference and the terrors of the everyday social world provides alternative and unexpected visions of disability in the horror genre that hold liberating potential.

According to horror theorist Noël Carroll, horror plays with the line between the ordinary and the extraordinary. Anyone familiar with the work of Tim Burton will recognize this as particularly true of his creations.

Yet, Carroll's description of the usual tension between the two does not quite capture the uniqueness of Burton's vision. Carroll writes: "in examples of horror, it would appear that the monster is an extraordinary character in an ordinary world" (1987, 52). But for Burton, there are extraordinary monsters with ordinary feelings in extraordinary worlds, wherein the behavior of the "normal" members of society appears by turn inscrutable, cruel, and unjustified.

Edward, an extraordinary boy, faces an extraordinary world of exaggerated sameness and the underlying violence of cruelly enforced conformity. 10

The Girl with Many Eyes has many qualities of note, including her love of poetry, and the boy getting to know her takes casual inventory of her "shocking" appearance and the consequences of her many eyes alongside her other features, including her prettiness. Also, the allusion to crying may be a nod to problematic treatment by the social.

In these shorts, Burton would like us to identify with the supposed "monster" on the screen, ironically posed as a murderous hero. He thereby subverts the traditional move of horror fiction and leads us to identify a new monster: the social. (stain boy)

Burton's protagonists refuse to accept the "official" version of the world; they constantly "defamiliarise" the official picture, make it different, strange, "uglily creative."

These figures pull apart the official picture of social relationships even while the narratives in which they appear accept their presence. Burton's visual narratives are strange and familiar at the same time, and they instigate a critical eye toward the exclusions and hierarchies of the social world. Ultimately, Burton brings forward portraits of difference in order to accept, not reject, them, thus subverting the basic thrust of horror fiction.

Burton's work plays with terror and horror, engaging in horror while at the same time reversing it. The characters in his stories accept the monsters around them without blinking an eye, warts and all, because horror reactions are given the opportunity to be exercised but then are re-directed. In order for the poems to work, difference is shown first in its fullness and entirety; these poems are accompanied by (often gruesome) illustrations, and the poems themselves showcase the shock of the encounter with the Melancholy children. Perhaps the eventual acceptance of the children hinges upon initial shock, which is carefully pushed toward the social. We are shocked by the images of disability we encounter, but we are only horrified by the treatment of outsiders by an intolerant social context.

In the work of both Burton and King, the audience is drawn to identify with the traditional outsider, the person rejected by the social world or considered interstitial and unnatural. This outsider sees the decaying and deadening communities around them as the terror.

The resistance that King's protagonists must discover often consists of alternative social bonds, and these social bonds, like that between Marty and Red, involve relationships of care and acceptance and overlooking the "outsider" aspects that society has found important enough to use as a tool of rejection

King's fiction allows us to identify with the "unnatural" or fantastic spiritual realm of resistance, rather than the horrific "natural" social world.

Horror is an imaginative exercise, and some instances of horror count as what Anita Silvers calls "innovative art", which exercises our imagination because it "broadens what we have previously imagined to be normal"

She insists we recognize the abject, including dependence and vulnerability, within ourselves and thereby reject the fundamental exclusion of persons with disabilities from the political.

If we fail to accept vulnerability and incorporate it into our understanding of political communities, disability will always be the monster under the bed. Ironically, the horror genre, by posing new monsters in the social and its exclusions, can provide a ladder to grander inclusion.

#studioIIIA

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