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#i love jake so much man
disposal-blueeee · 1 year
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alright i'm back
some shitpost (even if this took 3+ hours to make)
vargas by @zarla-s
also credits to mysillycomics on twt (that one ".... peach time ah so sorry" pic)
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callsign-marlie · 2 years
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Hey Pretty Girl
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The Five Times Jake calls you his favorite pet name + one bonus little baby taste of angst :3
pairing: jake 'hangman' seresin x f!reader genre: FLUFF warnings: unedited, light teasing and innuendos, mention of pregnancy and child birth, no y/n used a/n this is total fluff and it was just what I needed. very short in comparison to my normal things but i almost wanna do all of the young pilots with this prompt and a different quote each time, it was so wholesome ;^;
Please feel free to like, comment and reblog. Much appreciated and much love - marlie x
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The First
“Hey pretty girl, slide me a bud, will ya?”
Blonde hair and blue eyes, a coy smile. Tanned skin pinched with a glaze sunned pink at the top of his cheeks and a clean pressed khaki uniform. The cap popped off of the glass with a fizz before you slid the bottle to him. “$5.50 for the boy in brown.”
“The boy,” he scoffed. Thick fingers gripped around the neck of the brew to coat his nails in condensation. The amber liquid swirled the enclosure of glass as he placed the rim to his lips. His eyes never left yours. “Not a boy. A man, darlin’. More of a man than any one you’ve had before tonight, I can assure you that.”
“And who said I wanted you, fly boy?” Your elbows were on the bar, leaning over the mahogany top. Even with the challenge of cleavage at your disposal, he never broke away from your gaze.
“Your eyes say enough. See ya soon, gorgeous.” He scribbled his name on the merchant copy of his receipt. A wink, the shine of a grin, and away he turned. 
You grabbed at the soggy slip of paper to find chicken scratch handwriting with ‘Jake’ and a phone number written on the bottom. Jake, huh?
The Second
“Hey pretty girl, that spot’s perfect. Just like me, right?”
He had bought you a bundle of sunflowers on a whim. They were gorgeous and tall, standing bright against the navy of your entry way in the antique crystal vase your mom had given you. Jake had cleaned up nicely in a crisp button down and slacks for your date to the local brewery down on the coast and had bought the bouquet for you on the ride home from a local farm stand. “Now you can think of me every time you leave the house and smile to start your day.”
You rolled your eyes, an endeared grin on your face. “You’re an ass, Seresin.”
“Maybe, but I’m your ass and that makes me the best ass around,” he chimed, jokingly hitting the back of his rump. “And this ass ain’t leavin’ for quite some time doll.”
“Then tell me, baby, what happens if the flowers die? How would I ever remember you then?” You lovingly wrap your arms around the top of his shoulders, careening up on your tiptoes to touch his nose with yours. 
His fingertips brushed a strand of hair that roguishly fell into your eyes. His eyes were the color of sea grass and his gaze was softly focused on your lips.  “Guess we’re just gonna have to go on more dates so I can get you more, right?”
The Third
“Hey pretty girl, may I have this dance?”
The reception was over and your feet were on fire, but you were finally home in your little shared apartment on base. Your hand, now coveted by a new diamond wedding band, sparkled under the high hat lights as Jake helped you up from the couch to the smooth sounds of John Mayer echoing in the background. Your white gown sweeped against the floor as he pulled you to his chest. 
Jake, your perfectly perfect Jake, dropped a soft kiss to your forehead, to the tip of your nose, to your lips. “Mrs. Seresin,” he whispered at each pass of his lips. You let your bare feet stand atop his, still encased in his military issued loafers and let his strong legs take you on a slow rock in your living room. It was the first time today that the two of you had been just alone: where the room wasn’t vibrating with clinking glasses or loud party music. 
Jake swayed with you gently even as the song changed, his hands dropped to your waist to rest on the crest of your bejeweled bum. You raised an eyebrow at your cheeky husband, who simply rolled his eyes and gave a boyish grin. “Just let me enjoy this baby.”
The Fourth
“Hey pretty girl, lemme help you, hold on.”
Jake’s large hands snuck underneath your rounded belly, lifting just enough weight to let your spine relax under the constant pressure of pregnancy. The dishes you were washing were suddenly forgotten and slipped from your fingers. A blissful sigh. “Ohhh, that’s the stuff, don’t stop.”
“Damn, all of my talent in bed and I’ve never heard you sound like THAT before,” he huffed, slowly letting your belly back down. “All I had to do was lift up peanut here and you’re putty, huh?” 
You pouted at the returning strain and snatched his hands back to place. You tilted your head to the side to leave a kiss and a teasing nip on his bicep. His fingers tickled over your skin in amusement.
“Uh-uh, don’t even think about it, Seresin. You stay right there.”
The Fifth
“Hey pretty girl, I’m your daddy.”
Tears were welling up in his eyes while he held the small pink bundle in his arms. She was so sleepy after making her grand entrance, kicking and yelling the entire birth. “Oh my god, I’m your daddy!”
“She looks just like you.” You were laying in your bed, completely spent, but glowing after all of your hard work pushing your new little love into the world. “You’re gonna be a great daddy, Jake.”
“And you’re gonna be a great mommy, honey girl.” He carefully made his way over to the bed and sat on the side to let your little girl close. Her eyes were closed and soft little breaths were leaving her mouth. Jake leaned over to plant a chaste kiss into your hair, your nose, your lips. He lingered longer than normal, touching his forehead to yours. 
“My pretty girls. All mine, all mine, until the day I die. I’ll never want nothing more than this.” 
Bonus: The Sixth
“Hey pretty girl, I’m alright.”
You launched yourself at your husband, tears streaming down your face. He winced under your arms, but did his best to wrap himself around you through all of the wires tubing he was attached to. Safe. His smooth hands rubbed up and down your back as you sobbed into his shoulder, leaving light taps on his back. “Don’t. You. EVER. Do. That. Again.”
“What, eject? It’s either that or die, and I’m too good to die while I’m still so young and handsome. You don’t want me to leave you a widow so soon, do you?” His megawatt smile showed reassurance, but you weren’t so sure it was real. You knew Jake better than he knew himself. His eyes, blackened from his impact, held something behind them that wasn’t there before: a fear. His façade was cracking at your worry.
“You won’t lose me, pretty girl. I’ll be here. I’m not leaving.”
“Promise me?” Your eyes just wouldn’t stop tearing up. “Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.” His fingers made an ‘x’ over his heart. “And I really, really don’t wanna die. I have my whole life with you to look forward to.”
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forwantofwill · 10 months
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It’s Steven. With a V.
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ghastlyaffairs · 3 days
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
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the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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shuueep · 5 months
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Jake the turd >:p
Also tis I, the anon who found a jewel beetle and lost all their purple markers.
AOUGHH THEY ARE SO NICE AOUGHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THANK U
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sqream-queen · 2 years
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Nobody asked for this but I recently rewatched Prisoners! Such a really cool film that doesn't hold your hand <3 I fell in love with Detective Loki all over again 😭 he's such a cool character because hes really up for interpretation! Def check it out if ya aint seen it already!
(as always, not my gif!)
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SFW Dating David Loki headcanons!!
Oh boy, being with this man will be pretty rocky and take a lot of communication and patience tbh. He'll often be absent, late for dates, or have to reschedule them due to his demanding job as a detective.
I'd say David doesn't really have the time to create many deep relationships, mostly fleeting ones. A few one night stands here and there, but a rare occurrence none the less. He's not too into flings but he's a rather lonely person and still a man with needs if ya know what I mean 👀
But! Back to his absentness, let's say you're someone who's stuck around for awhile and understand his life style and him as a person more or less. He never enjoys cancelling on you or not being able to spend time with you. You're very important to him but he's also got a important job to do.
It'll stress him out a bit, he's a bit of a perfectionist and a pretty empathetic person in general. He'll try his damn best to make time for you since he does really appreciate you putting up with him and being one of the very few people he can be himself and relax around. Definitely feels like he doesn't deserve you, or just got really lucky. 💖
David's not picky with dates and definitely won't mind if its just you picking out places that you enjoy. He'll like doing whatever if its with you.
I'd say one of his favorite activities to do with you is travel if you're into such a thing. He likes exploring and learning new things about people and the world, especially the more positive aspects since he mostly sees the ugly side of humanity at work.
Another one would be going to see a movie or going to your home and cooking a meal for him whilst you listen to music or what have you. It's very comforting to him and relaxes him. Being with you and being close to you really is a nice get away from the harsh world out there, that waits for him every day. He also doesn't really cook for himself too often or has time to enjoy home cooked meals. He always loves your meals even if you're not the most fancy cook.
He'll sometimes try to repay the favor, he can be a pretty decent cook when he really tries.
He'll be very grateful if you're particularly understanding of his chaotic schedule and the strain it puts him through. He'll often try to hide how much a case is wearing him out of effecting him, wanting to for your sake.
That stress tic he has will often give it away though.
He'll be very soft with you and even a little dorky at times. David enjoys making you laugh with his dry/sarcastic humor. Seeing you smile or hearing your laugh is one of the highlights of his day.
So expect phone calls from him while hes at work pretty often. He likes to keep in contact with you to try and make up for when he's not there.
But there will be times where he won't call at all due to a particularly difficult or tasking case. He'll make it up to you though.
He always tries to make it up to you.
I'd say his love languages are mostly acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch.
The detective himself isn't a very clingy person but if you are, he'll very much enjoy it actually. He didn't have the best childhood nor youth and it may take a bit to break his walls down, but once he lets you in he'll take all that you'd want to give him.
For him I'd say he likes to hold you a lot. He's a very protective guy and it relaxes him to always have you in his arms, knowing you're there and that you're safe.
David's pretty flexible though. If you enjoy certain other things more he'll definitely take note of it. He's a very perceptive guy, being a detective and all.
Like say if you enjoy receiving gifts he'll enjoy getting you the things that you like. He wants you to know that he really does love you even if he can't be by your side all the time, so he'll often express that with his actions.
Now David is a very intelligent and logical guy, but also has a lot of internal fears that he tries to hide.
So when it comes to jealousy, I'd say he'd only get a little jealous if someone was able to offer you more than he could in the stability department. It's really one of his biggest regrets that he can't be there for you more often than he'd like to.
David likes to protect and to provide, so if another person appears that you begin to become good friends with and are able to spend more time with than him, he'll start to get afraid that you'll tire of him not being around and prefer the person who can be around more.
He trusts you, and doesn't blame you- he just doesn't want to lose you. I feel you'd either notice something was up and ask him about it, or he'd eventually wisen up and awkwardly bring it up.
I feel he'd just need some reassurance and he'd realise that he was being silly, then apologise to you; also probably asking how he can make it up to you as usual. 💕
David has a great ability at remaining calm and rational, and when it comes to you, even more so. I don't ever really see him raising his voice at you, even if/when you yell during arguments and fights.
He'd try his best to diffuse whatever was going on and be understanding. Or just wait until you let it all out and give you your space before coming back to talk to you more.
Depending on how bad the fight is, and he's the angry one, David would probably need some space as well. Probably go on a drive. It helps him think and calm down.
All in all, it'll be turbulent and may take time to get close to him depending on how you are, but once he's in- he's all in.
Loyal, dependable when it matters, understanding, paitent, and a great romantic partner.
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jake_gvf: A triumphantly belated New Year to the dreamers and the lovers, it’s truly been a spell of boundless adventure and untold enchantment. Let’s do it all again real soon. All my love.
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hooned · 1 year
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enhypen playing tennis, “we kept hitting home runs instead.”
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rapidhighway · 2 months
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supernatural 1x14 nightmare.....
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saturnxlust · 8 days
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Jake Webber x Hispanic reader
🇲🇽💗
Please i swear im so bad at answering asks, im so sorry😭 im not that good at oneshots so im gonna do headcannons😔✊
Jake Webber x Hispanic!Reader
Hes cultured, okay
His nickname with johnnie is literally the tinas
He will eat your cooking or your moms cooking no matter how much pain this mans in
If you like the latina makeup he will actually convulse because of how hot you are☺️
He eats a lot of things, unlike johnnie hes not very picky, so all the food at a party is being eaten by him🥲
If your mom puts more on his plate like seconds or desert you bet your ass he will be shoveling that into his mouth and groaning at how good it is
And unfortunately hes one of those guys that goes “babe, babe you gotta try this” and adds more onto your plate like you haven’t been eating this food for years😭
You watched him practically run up to you gushing about how good it is, “babe oh my god have you tried this?” He asks as he holds up a fork offering the food to you.
Him combined with your mom/grandparents you will not go hungry at those partys
Now if you cook? Hes head over heels cause what
I want someone cooking that bomb ass hispanic food for me😢
Be aware he groans when the foods good, everything will be silent until you hear a “ghdjdicicii ITS SO GOOD” muffled by whatever he shoved in his mouth
Hes not that messy of an eater usually but he is the cleanest infront of your family, cleaning up after himself and being all polite and stuff
If it was up to him he’d marry you on the spot when you first make him food
While he shoved the food into his mouth he hummed happily, looking up at you to give you a lovesick look, as he chewed he thought to himself if it was too soon to get on one knee and marry you, deciding against it because he doesnt have a ring and, you deserve the best he could get
Idk what he would do without you
Probably starve or eat fast food every night, much to your dismay
Before you he got so much fast food you almost smacked him when he wanted to go to wendys as a date
Since then its either been a mexican restaurant, your house, or your parents house for food
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myboyfriendjake · 2 months
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jake absolutely slayed his cover. i have tears in my eyes. his voice is so beautiful and he really poured his emotions into it.
there's something about jake's voice that is so warm and soothing and comforting and this song really brought that out. i love you sim jaeyun
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luverleaver · 6 months
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my heart
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starryeyedadmirer · 1 year
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✨Belly, belly, belly!!!✨
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okwonyo · 8 months
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HOW CAN U NOT SAY PUPU??? ⸜(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)⸝
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Breaking down the comics: Sun in eyes
BONUS COMIC REVIEW: 
Issue 17 mini comic: Marc Spector - The Worship of False Idols
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You guys. You guys have no idea. This is it. This is the reason I fell utterly in love with Moon Knight. I'm so excited.
When I found Moon Knight (I'll get to that discovery in a later review) I just had to know who he was. I stayed up all night downloading and reading everything. 
When I got to this piece it must have been 3am and this is what made me obsessed. 
What's hilarious is that this mini comic comes at the end of a really dramatic Marc Spector heavy issue in which he's dark and angsty and violent. 
And then...You get this. This delightful idiot man that's just doing his best. 
Let's get into it! 
I wonder if this image of Marc might be what inspired Doctor Grant from the show. 
We open with Marc holding a machete and making his way through a jungle in South America. 
Narration: Long before there was a Moon Knight, there was Marc Spector. Though he wore but a single name, he operated under many guises... Soldier of fortune, treasure seeker, courier, mercenary, were a few of those guises. 
He was a man whom Moon Knight can now look back on with only slender pride - A strong man, yes, and thoroughly determined, but often a ruthless man, one who braved danger only for money. This is one of his stories." 
Such lovely narration. Painting a picture of a gruff killer for hire out for a buck and not afraid to get dirty for it. 
We see him hacking his way through a jungle and complaining the whole time. 
"Must've hacked my way through thirty miles of this green hell..." 
He had previously met with a drunken archeologist (probably at a bar) who told him about a beautiful ugly idol made of solid gold. 
He finds a clearing and there sits the idol 
He doesn't find this suspicious at all. 
There's going to be a lot of screenshots in this review. 
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(flat in the dirt again.) 
The dog apparently belongs to an archeologist nearby. His wife comes out of the tent, remarking that he's probably out drinking again. (Marc's info source). 
She looks around and notices the Idol is missing. She shrugs and goes back to the tent. 
She has a busy day tomorrow if she's to keep looking for a big discovery that she thinks is very near. 
Marc wakes in a dark underground cavern. 
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Now we get to watch this poor man try to think this through. 
"But I can't carry any more than I've already got.
Maybe I should substitute-take something else-something better...
No-The archaeologist in the bar said this idol is the choice one--the one that'll command the highest price from collectors and museums--worth far more than its weight in gold.
But if I leave now, I'll never find this place again. Not before those archaeologists do--and by then they'll have armed guards swarming this place... 
Got to decide now-cuz I won't be able to change my mind later..." 
Marc decides to keep the one he already has. 
He follows a draft and finds himself in a bat cave with Guano up to his calves. 
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Oh Marc…Oh no…
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Oh no.
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Oh no
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Marc no…
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Marc no…stop…
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Buddy…pal….Beloved hero of my heart…
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I mean…He saves them. Marc isn’t as heartless as he thinks he is. Just cause he’s having a bad day doesn’t mean they have to have one too. 
And now… I give you my hero. The light of my life. My obsession. My sweet cheese. My good time boy.
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Damn Marc, that’s a nice leg. 
Marc makes it back to the town. 
He staggers towards where he's staying, looking forwards to a week in bed and then cashing in his idol for the sweet sweet dough (get that bread Marc). 
Suddenly, his thoughts of rest are interrupted by someone shouting "Three Dollars American!" 
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He looks over to see the archeologist and his wife talking. 
She admonishes him for taking so long to get back to the newly discovered temple....then asks him why he keeps guying the cheap plaster idols. 
Marc looks over to a stand with a man selling "Genuine Inca idols straight from the temple of the sun!"
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This is Marc Spector everyone. Mercenary dark and tormented and angry and violent killing machine Marc Spector. 
The man that can’t forgive himself and that no one loves easily. A man that is hated and feared. 
I don’t read Moon Knight for the dark action. I read Moon Knight for moments like this. 
This is what made me fall in love. Not the white cape, the mental health, the DID, the religiously tortured soul, the hero that needs saving…
This man that is having the worst time and still he stumbles into the sunset because DAMN IT he worked hard to get there and he’s going to get something out of it… But at the end of the day, he’s no further along than the rest of us. 
He probably had a drink and went to bed after this. Maybe laughing to himself. Maybe laughing about all the close calls. Maybe crying a little. 
But he didn’t go back to rob the excavation site. He said “Not today. Not this time.” and went on with his life. 
And he told no one of this, because he’s Marc fucking Spector and he has a reputation. 
So I leave you with this. The best image of Marc Spector I’ve ever seen. The true meaning and mood of Moon Knight I’ve ever seen. 
This pretty much just sums up his life: 
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(And somewhere, Khonshu looked at this mess and said “That’s the one. That’s the one for me. My son!”)
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jakebark · 1 year
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cowboy bark + hazelnut the suffolk punch
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