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drwcn · 3 years

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concubine/sleeper agent!wwx and prince!lwj bullshit continues:

[story board 1] - The two empires and the Imperial Lan Family [story board 2] - WWX, Qishan Wen’s sleeper agent [story board 3] - The inner court (harem) of Hanguang Manor, prior to WWX

→ [Story Board 4] - “A-Xian”, the attendant of Jiang Yanli

Wei Wuxian lived with the Jiangs for 2 years. After he came to Gusu as a 16-yro, he charmed/scammed his way into the Jiang manor, won the favour of Jiang Fengmian, the affection of Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng, and waited. For a long time, no further instructions were given to him from Wen Ruohan. Then, one day, he saw Zhao Zhuliu on the streets of the Capital. Zhao Zhuliu was the head of Wen Ruohan’s intelligence bureau and incidentally, was also Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang’s shifu.

— “Shifu, does bixia finally have an assignment for me?” — “He does. Jiang Yanli is set to marry Lan Wangji. You are to find a way to accompany her to Hanguang-fu and get close to him.” — “Close to him as in...?” — “Any means necessary. He has a harem already, so you will not be the only one vying for his attention. Do think you can handle it?” — “Well I don’t know, shifu,” responded WWX coyly. “ Word on the street is that this Hanguang-wang prefers pretty men. His ce-wangfu Jin Ziyan is famous for his handsomeness, and that mianshou Mo Xuanyu he keeps around is a looker too. Do you think I’ve grown pretty enough?” — “You seem very aware of his household, I’m surprised.” — “Bixia sent me here to observe and learn; I’ve not been idle.”

Wei Wuxian knew Jiang Yanli was set to marry Lan Wangji before she even knew herself. This was not a coincidence. Originally, three years ago, when Lan Wangji was first choosing members of his harem, Jiang Yanli had been considered, but at the time Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan were already engaged to be wed. Jin Zixuan had promised Jiang Yanli that as soon as he passed the imperial scholarly exam and secured a position for himself in His Majesty’s court based on his own merit and not on the influence of his father Jin-guogong (Duke Jin), that he and Yanli would marry. It was a marriage that his late mother had arranged with her best friend Yu Ziyuan, and both Yanli and Zixuan were amenable to it. However, when Jin Zixuan finally passed the exam and ranked 6th in the national polling, he chose to take a position far away from the capital and left without a word of affirmation regarding the engagement. The position was an important one given to Jin Zixuan by Emperor Lan Xichen himself and so in some ways, it was understandable that he could not refused. After Jin Zixuan left the capital, Jin Guangshan went to his “old friend” Jiang Fengmian and “apologized” profusely on his son’s behalf, spewing all sorts of words about how a young man ought to make his way in this world and such. However, this left the Jiangs in an awkward position. Jiang Yanli was 21 yrs old, already older than any unwed noble lady should be. The Jiangs were angry with this outcome, but given the politics of it, they could not say much...and that was when Lianfang-jun Meng Yao revisited an idea that had been put aside three years ago. — “Hanguang-wang...desires to marry A-Li?” Jiang Fengmian was somewhat flabbergasted. “But...” — Meng Yao smiled, “Jiang-houye*, three years ago I came on behalf of er-di to broker a marriage between our two families, but you and Yu-furen both refused on account of her engagement with Jin-xiao-gongye. But I must say ling’ai* is a fine young woman, eloquent and mild-mannered and would make a fine wangfei* some day.” — “Wangfei? but -” — “Yes, Hanguang-wang did say he would choose his own princess or prince consort, but as you can see, even with Jin Ziyan as he ce-wangfu, Qin-fu’ren and Luo-fu’ren at his side, our prince has not shown any desire for any of them to be his legal spouse. He is still waiting, searching, and who’s to say Jiang-gu’niang is not equal if not better than the lot of them?”

What the Jiangs didn’t know was that Jin Guangshan was a traitor and had already sold his loyalty to Wen Ruohan, who promised him to make him a fanwang* when Qishan eventually annexed Gusu. JGS was a mole inside Gusu’s government secretly helping to further Wen Ruohan’s agenda. Nevertheless, Wen Ruohan wanted Wei Wuxian to get close to Lan Wangji, because as helpful as Jin Guangshan was, he was never fully trusted by the royal family and did not know their inner workings. Breaking Jiang Yanli’s marriage with Jin Zixuan was just a matter of convenience. Jin Guangshan was not fussed regarding a simple marriage when the reward would be much greater. As per WRH’s instruction, he used his influences in court to maneuver Lan Xichen into giving Jin Zixuan a position far away from the capital, thus removing his son from the dangerous political atmosphere and freeing up Jiang Yanli as a potential concubine for Lan Wangji. Then, Jin Guangshan sat back and allowed Meng Yao to finish the game that he started. Meng Yao was not a willing participant. He loved Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue but Jin Guangshan held the secret to his past and thus a noose around his neck. Everyone in court knew that Lianfang-jun Meng Yao was once a lieutenant in Nie Mingjue’s army and later became his personal secretary. He was known for his wit and silver tongue and the charming dimples on his cheeks whenever he smiled. However, not many knew that Meng Yao was the bastard son of Jin Guangshan and a prostitute. Meng Shi’s hope was that one day her son would be legitimized by his father, but alas her hopes were in vain. A child born to a whore would be condemned to a live in the “jian” caste unless otherwise freed. It was Nie Mingjue who chose to raise Meng Yao above his station and respected him as a person for the first time in his life. When Nie Mingjue and his long-time sweetheart the crown prince Lan Xichen were set to marry, Meng Yao thought his days of freedom would be over. To his surprise, Nie Mingjue opted to bring him back with him from the borderlands where Nie Mingjue’s battalion was stationed and introduce him to court and to Lan Xichen. It seemed almost impossible that Lan Xichen would love him as unapologetically as Nie Mingjue, but somehow he did. Meng Yao became the only concubine person in Lan Xichen’s harem other than Fengjun Nie Mingjue. Life was perfect, so perfect in fact Meng Yao even entertained the idea of coaxing Lan Xichen to take on a lady or two to be his concubine so that the palace could be filled with little ones. Of course he’d be a little jealous...but they would have children...and Lan Xichen loved babies. Then of course, Jin Guangshan found out who he was, and from that point on, Meng Yao was no longer a free man. Every single moment of his life, his father threatened him with exposure. If anyone were to find out just how unseemly his origin had been, how not only was his mother a prostitute, but he himself had been nearly no different (given to the Nies as a gift by a stupid pandering official), his life would be over. At the very least Lan Xichen would be forced to banish him, at the worst, he’d be dead. Oh there would be no public announcement of course, but it would be said that he had taken ill and succumbed to his frail health, and with his death the smear on the Lan imperial family would be cleansed. Meng Yao didn’t want to die, so he did as Jin Guangshan asked, even when the ask became Nie Mingjue’s life. (But NMJ isn’t really dead...Meng Yao was nothing if not a fighter. He could not let the father who’d cursed him to a less than hellish existence take away from him the first man who’d ever shown him love and kindness.) — “Jiang Yanli must marry Lan Wangji.” Jin Guangshan instructed. “And you must ensure that when she does, the boy goes with her.” — “What boy?” — “The ward of Jiang Fengmian: Wei Wuxian.”

So when Meng Yao came to speak with Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan, naturally he brought up the subject of Lan Wangji’s “preference.” “The Qin family did very well in this regard. They were quite clever in allowing Mo Xuanyu to serve Hanguang-wang; the boy is too low-born to be of any threat. Even if Hanguang-wang’s harem of today becomes the imperial harem of tomorrow, Mo Xuanyu would not be more than a mianshou. His success, on the other hand, would ensure that Hanguang-wang’s favour stay with the Qin family. As we can see, their effort was not in vain. Qin Su became with child rather swiftly. Little Kaisong was born more no later than three months after Jingyi.” Meng Yao explained the delicate nature of the situation to the Jiangs. “If Jiang-guniang is to marry Hanguang-wang, forgive me for my boldness, but she would be wise to bring a male attendant of her own. Wangji is kind and would honour her as his concubine, but the man cannot control his inclinations, as none of us could.” Yu Ziyuan exchanged a look with Jiang Fengmian. Yanli was older now; waiting for Jin Zixuan to keep his promise had delayed her and possibly ruined her prospects. If this marriage to Lan Wangji were to succeed... he is an honourable man who treated all his concubines equally and with respect. If he grew to like Yanli enough to make her his legal spouse as Meng Yao seemed to think is possible...then one day she would be Empress. — “Hanguang-wang’s preference is men. Would he not prefer to have a wangfu instead of a wangfei?” Jiang Fengmian was still hesitant. — “Indeed I’m sure he would, but politics being what it is...” Meng Yao sighed. “I’m sure Wangji understands that having the mother of his heir be his wangfei and his future empress is the best course of action to ensure the stability of the nation. We certainly have no shortage of examples to learn from in history: a shuchu prince with competing shuchu brothers walks a perilous road.” — “Lianfang-jun is wise.” Yu Ziyuan nudged her husband. “Which young man do you suggest we include in the bridal party?” — “That I have not decided, which is why I’ve come to see you today. Jiang-fu is a large manor, surely there must be some servants worthy to catch the eye of our Hanguang-wang. Yu-fu’ren, why don’t you assemble them, and we can have a pick?” — “Lianfang-jun, that is a delightful idea.”

Wei Wuxian was not surprised at all when all the young men of Jiang-fu under 21 and above 16 were assembled in a courtyard. He scanned the crowd; there were about 20-ish of them. One by one, they were beckoned forward, and when it was his turn, he walked with his head bowed towards the man sitting under the eave on a luxurious wicker chair, holding a fan. The fan was very expensive, drawn by an artist in the previous dynasty. An antique. This must be Zewu-di’s* only concubine, Meng Yao. — “Greetings to Lianfang-jun.” — “Raise your head, boy, let me take a good look at you.” — Wei Wuxian obeyed. Meng Yao looked him over once, appraising and evaluating, before making a pleased little noise. “Hm. Your name?” — “Wei Wuxian.” — “Wei...Wuxian?” Meng Yao gave a pretty laugh. “A rather boastful name for so young a person. My, but you are a lovely thing. Tell me, what is your age?” — “Eighteen.” — “Eighteen, excellent. It’s unfortunate that your name isn’t something a little more humble. What does your family call you?” — “My family calls me A-Xian, dianxia.” — “Well A-Xian, if I were to tell you that you’ve been chosen to accompany Jiang-gu’niang to serve Hanguang-wang, what say you?” — WWX thought *I’d say Lan Wangji better sleep with one eye open*, but said with a gracious and deferring bow of his head, “That would be my honour.”

[next]

Note:

houye - marquess ling’ai - a formal way to address someone else’s daughter wangfei - princess consort fanwang - a type of high-ranking prince with their own region/land to govern and possibly even their own army to command under imperial rule. Zewu-di - emperor zewu.

#cql #the untamed #wangxian #wei wuxian #concubine!wwx #assassin!wwx #prince!lwji #cql ficlet #corie fics #without envy

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bangchanshehe · 3 years

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The Trespasser pt.6

You were on top of the world with the new title of leader of your family’s clan. You were the strongest clan in all of the orient and you were proud. But your family feels that there are threats still lurking around making you a target. When they introduce you to a potential man for a business and marriage merger will it help your clan or make matters worse?

Word count: 2.2k

Wonho x Reader, Shownu x Reader, Jooheon x Reader

When you finally reached home you quickly threw your car in park and stomped inside your house to your office. You could feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and you pursed your lips, mentally ripping your mother a new one. And with this temper you would be doing your mother a favor to not answer the phone right now.

When you sat down at your desk you pulled out the whiskey that you kept stashed in your desk drawer and poured yourself a generous glass and swallowed it down like it was water. You practically slammed the glass down on your desk, startling whoever was on the other side of your office door making them freeze with the door half-open.

You looked at your door to identify who had the worlds worst timing to see Shownu peek his head around the door frame. When you made eye contact you calmed down a little and you cleared your throat as he made way to stand in front of your desk.

“where have you been?” you asked him with your stern voice

Shownu gave you a small glance and then looked down at the floor to his shoes “At the warehouse, with the trainees ma’am.” He responded politely

You looked him over to see that he was still in his clothes from the night prior. “you were there all night?” you asked after a moments hesitation. You weren’t sure if you wanted the answer to that question or not.

Shownu finally looked back up at you and looked across your face trying to find something there that your words weren’t relaying. “yes ma’am. I had something that I needed to deal with” he responded again as cold as day.

You stared down at your desk and decided that you needed to make some things clear with Shownu before anything became more serious between you two or with the contractual marriage. You quietly got up and walked towards your office door to shut it so the two of you could have some privacy. On your walk back to your desk you ran what you needed to say through your head in hopes that you could say it in the easiest way possible. But just as you had passed Shownu he grabbed hold of your wrist making you freeze in your place.

You looked down at where he sat on the couch and took the place next to him.

“I’m sorry if I made you worry” he said softly

You gave him a small smile and shook your head to ease his worries. “I would just appreciate at least a text so I know you aren’t lying in a ditch, dead somewhere.”

“sorry” he said again in a hushed voice so softly that you almost didn’t hear it.

“Shownu, we need to talk about a few things” you said making your voice sound a little more firm.

He turned his head to look down at the floor and he gently nodded his head. Shownu could be foolish but he certainly was no fool and he knew that he was about to get the talk that he was anticipating for a while now.

“Things with this contractual marriage are starting to become more legitimate. Hoseok is from a good family that has been partners with our clan for a while. And from the sounds of it…. Hoseok has been my planned spouse for a while now. So it looks like things will be moving forward if I don’t Find aything that dissuades me.” You took a moment to gauge Shownu’s reaction but his face remained still as a statue as he continued to stare down. “Hoseok and I have spoken about our expectations from this marriage and we both only want something that will mutually help our clans. Nothing more and nothing less. And while this marriage will be a legitimate marriage, we will not be pursuing and active marriage lifestyle.” You finished and Shownu finally swallowed and relaxed a little bit by leaning back in his seat.

“Hoseok is aware of the nature of our relationship and he sees no issue with it. However….” You began but you stopped yourself from continuing so you could take a deep breath. “I don’t think that you and I are on the same page with what our relationship means.” You turned to look at him and his calm demeanor transitioned into one of anger “shownu…. I love you very, very much. But what we have is just sexual for me. And if having hoseok around is going to constantly trigger you and make you uncomfortable then we should stop.”

“why does it have to be him?” he asked you with a harsh tone “what happened to the plan of possibly doing the marriage with jooheon or me?”

You stared at him for a moment while you waited for him to calm down a bit “the entire purpose of me even having a contractual marriage is for the merger and protection of another clan joining us in the case of an attack…. If I were to marry one of you then there would be no merger… and it would be pointless to get married in the first place since its something that I don’t actually wish to do.” You explained.

Shownu looked at you like a kicked puppy and you could tell that he hated the idea of this as much as you did. Or at least as much as you did at first. Now that you had a few days to meet hoseok, research and consider what it would do for your clan you didn’t have hardly any complaints, besides your mother trying to force the marriage so hard that it feels like a real one.

“if things go through then Hoseok will be staying here. He will have his own bedroom and office and we will need to treat him as an equal, however my business and his clans business should remain separate unless there is something that requires the skill of both clans.”

Shownu sat in silence for a few moments before he asked with a quivering voice “is that all?”

You gave a slight nod to answer his question, not even bothering to look him in the eyes and shownu scoffed. And without missing a beat shownu was on his feet and leaving you behind in your office.

When you heard your office door click shut you let out a deep sigh and laid back on your couch, closing your eyes and internalizing that you had just ended things with shownu. But before you even realized that you had fallen asleep you woke up to a dark office. You got up and walked to your desk to check your phone to see what time it was. 7:30. Shit. You groaned for having let the day get away from you and you checked your missed calls and text messages.

4 from your mother. Surprise, surprise. You were sure that she was pissed for you ever so gracefully skipping lunch, and 1 text from and unknown number…. Confused you opened it up to read the message.

Unknown: Had I known that this was supposed to be a family lunch I wouldn’t have imposed.

Unknown: oh, your mother gave me your number by the way….

You had rolled your eyes and quickly saved the number as Hoseoks, and quickly called your mother back. Now that you had slept and worked a few things out you were confident that you could talk to her without ripping her tongue out.

“oh so now you would like to grace me with a phone call?!” she answered the phone with a less than thrilled tone.

“hello to you too mother” you replied

“what do you want? I’m about to cook dinner for your father!” she barked back

You took a deep breath before you continued “I’d like to talk to you about what I wanted to discuss at lunch.”

“hmm” your mother huffed. “if you wanted to know then why didn’t you come to lunch?”

Why did she have to be so petty? “because it was something that I wanted to discuss with elders from our clan… it was not a conversation that was meant to be had with outsiders mother.” You explained

“outsiders?” she gawked “Hoseok is not an outsider. He’s practically already my son-in-law”

“mother…” you warned

“fine! What is it that is so important to know?”

You mentally scrolled through all of the questions that you wanted to ask at lunch knowing that with your mothers temperament you would probably only get answers to 2 or 3 before she hung up. “Is it true that Hoseok was always my planned partner?” you asked and the other line went dead silent “Hello?”

“yes. Okay? Are you happy?” she finally responded “Hoseok has always been a very special boy and you took quite a liking to him as a child”

As a child? You didn’t remember ever having a childhood sweetheart or friend named Hoseok. You let out a long sigh before you asked your next question, anticipating that your mother was going to give you an earful “And why does it have to be Hoseok? You guys seem so dead set on it being him?”

“My darling listen to me. If anyone is aware of how much power the Shin’s have it’s your father and I…. And while their clan might not be the most ruthless or imposing clan they are very honorable people.” She began “While Hoseok is not the leader of the clan we are aware of his leadership capabilities. And you father has a particular interest in him because he sees a lot of you in him.” You mother said completely throwing you off guard

“what is that supposed to mean?” you asked her

“well… I’m not to sure what exactly your father sees but I can tell you that the two of you are very good people. You both care for you clan and your family as if they are one in the same. When the two of you work you give it your all and you never hold back until you have your desired results. And lastly the two of you are very business minded people and you don’t do anything that would be a waste of time Or put your family at jeopardy of war without a reliable cause. In other words the two of you aren’t just out for blood and money. You both have legitimate agendas and plans.” She further explained.

You took a moment to really let what she had said sink in. At the very beginning of this entire nightmare you thought that this would be the death of you. That this entire set up with Hoseok was so fishy that it was bound to go south and be a set up. But the more that you looked into Hoseok and the Shin clan the more you realized that this might actually work out to be a very mutually healthy thing for your clans.

There would be more balance, less violence between your clan and others, less hostile interactions between yourself and other leaders and it would make the both of your parents very happy to say the least.

“okay” you said quietly.

“okay?!” your mother squealed on the other end of the phone “like okay let’s do this or okay that’s what I wanted to know?”

“okay let’s do this…” you said softly.

You heard nothing but complete silence from your mothers end until a horrific screech nearly busted your eardrum. You yanked the phone away from your ear so your mother wouldn’t singlehandedly give you the migrane of the century and waited for the phone to quiet down before you even attempted to talk again.

“mom…. Mom!” you had to yell to get her attention

“what?” she yelled back

“please keep this between you and dad until I solidify things with Hoseok please! “you begged

“of course!” she said as if she wasn’t the biggest gossip on the planet. “do get things going soon though! Your father and I would like to see you get married before we die.”

You chuckled to yourself and pinched the bridge of your nose. Leave it to your mother to make things dramatic…. “ill talk to you later mom, okay?”

“bye darling ill share the good news with your father!” she said chipperly before hanging up on you.

As soon as the call disconnected you looked down at your phones messages and hovered over hoseok’s contact. You cleared your throat before you finally called and the moment the call was answered you wasted no time for formalities and began to explain.

“unless you have any further inquiries, I would like to proceed with the marriage. I’ll draw up a contract and we can meet to discuss the terms and conditions that we would like to apply. You can pick the time and place whenever you’re free.”

As soon as you said what you needed to say you hung up the phone. There was no need to listen to what Hoseok had to say since it was obvious that he was on board with the marriage from the get go. Now you just needed to prepare for Hoseok’s bedroom and office. And of course… your wedding.

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenarios #kpop imagine #kpop mafia au #monsta x #monsta x fanfic #monsta x fanfiction #monsta x imagine #monsta x scenarios #monsta x mafia au #monsta x wonho #wonho #shin hoseok #monsta x shonwu #shownu #mafia au

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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984.

1. When was the last time someone saw you naked? >> That’s a good question. Sparrow sees me in various states of undress sometimes, but I don’t remember the last time I was fully naked long enough to be seen by anyone. The only time I’m nude is when I’m in the shower or putting on moisturiser directly after said shower (which I do in my room).

2. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? >> I don’t want to do this. I wouldn’t want to do that to the person, either, like... that sounds traumatic as fuck. (Now, if it were an Inworld type of situation, that’d be way different.)

3. What is the greatest loss you’ve endured? >> Various aspects of myself, I guess. But maybe they’re not truly lost. I have no way of knowing right now.

4. How would you describe your current mood? >> Neutral. I am rarely in an actual mood of any sort when I get this question, obviously -- I tend to only do surveys when I’m in this state, because it’s hard to focus on survey questions (or anything, really) if I’m actively having an emotion.

5. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? >> I don’t remember.

6. What was the last thing you lied about? >> I don’t know, lying isn’t something I normally do -- unless lying by omission counts, because I don’t say literally everything that I’m thinking or tell everyone literally everything about a situation. Or whatever.

7. Where is your favorite place to have sex? >> Inworld.

8. What is your earliest memory? >> I have a vague impression of being on the floor of a dog breeder’s house? When we got my childhood dog Roxie, I guess.

9. Do you ever drink or get high alone? >> I often drink alone just because I’m in the house alone during the times when I’m most likely to drink. I like to just vibe, and not have to worry about “putting on my human suit” or whatever. Sometimes I like to be weird and dreamy or dance-y and vibrant when I’m intoxicated and I like to have space to do that.

10. What type of a drunk are you? >> I don’t know, I haven’t been drunk in a long time. I think at this point in my life I’m probably just a sleepy, cranky drunk. Which is partly why I don’t drink nearly enough to get there, lol.

11. What song (or a few songs, whatever) means a lot to you and why? >> Death is the Road to Awe means a lot to me because The Fountain as a whole means a lot to me and the music is a big part of that whole yarn-ball of meaningfulness. It’s something I really can’t explain. The feelings I have about the movie and the song are on the “this is actually kind of painful in its intensity” level of emotional connection.

12. When was the last time you revealed your feelings for someone? Were they accepted or rejected? >> I don’t remember. Revealing my feelings isn’t a common activity here in Mordredland, as I’m sure is obvious, and I rarely have any remarkable (or share-able) feelings about people anyway.

13. What was the reason behind your last visit to the hospital? >> I think the last time I was in a hospital was when Sparrow’s sister had her child.

14. How do you tend to deal with a breakup? >> ---

15. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? >> I don’t classify drugs this way, so I don’t know how to answer this question. The drug I know I will never try is crack, and a drug I am interested in trying is shrooms.

16. What is something you’ve done that you truly regret? >> ---

17. What does it mean to you to be a good person? Do you feel you are a good person? >> I am uninterested in the “good person” designation. I just want to be valuable to and loved by a few people, maybe. That’d be nice.

18. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? >> I don’t think I have an overall life philosophy, because that seems terribly impractical at best. Life is so complex. Maybe that’s a philosophy -- rejoice in and value the complexity of life. *shrug*

19. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? >> Hmm. I think a living thing should be allowed to live out its life and not be abused or willfully subjected to conditions that disrupt its quality of life. That’s really it, though.

20. When was the last time you were up all night and why? >> I don’t remember the last time that happened.

21. What is the worst thing you’ve done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? >> I don’t know what the worst thing I’ve done to myself is, but one not-great thing I’ve done to myself is become a chronic self-injurer. One not-great thing someone else has done to me is, well, I don’t know, physically abuse me repeatedly?

22. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? >> I’m not sure.

23. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? >> The fact that he emotionally abused me, probably. That’ll do it.

24. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? >> There are a lot of things I haven’t “gotten over” because their traumatic nature changed the way I am as a person and now I have to deal with that. I don’t really see a point in forgiveness, personally -- what I do see a point is forgiving myself and treating myself better than I’ve been treated.

25. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? >> I don’t remember.

26. Where did your last injury come from? >> I don’t know! I just have this random gouge on my finger, like someone just took a small sample of my skin.

27. What are some kinks or turn-ons you have, if any? >> Trying to describe the things I like is hard because 1) it’s often dependent on context and 2) it’s more... specific kinds of things happening in specific kinds of situations and I don’t want to like, have to lay out a whole scenario, lol.

28. What are you like during arguments? >> I have an insanely heightened physical response to conflict, for some reason (I say “for some reason” like I’m not literally post-traumatic, but I don’t know what exactly contributed to this particular symptom) -- crazy heartbeat, flushed skin, shaking, the whole nine. So I guess I’d say I go full monkey-brain during arguments and I tend to do/say whatever will get me the fuck out of the situation because I cannot process anything but “I’m in danger and these people are dangerous and did I mention DANGER”. I’ve been working on trying to express myself rationally during perceived-conflict or actual-conflict situations, but it’s a long process and mostly I just try to avoid getting into the position to begin with.

29. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? >> *shrug* Who knows.

30. Where do you like to be kissed? >> Everywhere, when a person I’m available to in that way is doing it. (So, Inworlders.)

31. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? >> I don’t look into people’s eyes, period. It’s the practice of eye contact itself that is inconceivably difficult for me.

32. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? >> I really don’t remember the last time I was legitimately furious (and not just using bluster to suppress a more vulnerable feeling).

33. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? >> Why was I in Honolulu, though...? I need more context for this situation that I cannot imagine myself in.

34. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? >> Well, obviously I tell my spouse, and then I guess... some people I hang out with online? I don’t know what I would do with my remaining days because I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in that situation and how it would change my priorities. And, of fucking course I’d be afraid.

35. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Usually when someone says that, a list of two things would follow. <--

36. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? >> I don’t work, so that’s the first problem with this question. In a general sense, though, I would probably risk a consequence of that caliber in order to try to save a life if I can. (I don’t know about this specific situation, though, because I can’t swim...)

37. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? >> It’s people that I trust and love (those are the same thing, sorry, I don’t get how they can be separate *shrug*) that would have the best chance of hurting me, because of the emotional attachment...

38. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? >> ---

39. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? >> No, man, we went through this already in an earlier question. No matter how you present the circumstances, I’m not bringing anyone back from the dead, period.

40. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? >> Well, I don’t know???

41. Does love = sex? >> Inworld, it does, because that’s just how it works for Us.

42.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? >> ---

43.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? >> I haven’t done that in a long time, idk.

44. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? >> I think the “I don’t love you back” conversation would be way harder, lmao. People get really upset about that sort of thing.

45. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? >> *shrug*??

46. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? >> ---

47. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? >> No.

48.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? >> My apartment is on the third floor... my biggest concern would be “how the fuck is this person walking on air???” I don’t know why I’d want anyone in particular with me -- why, so we can both be killed by this apparent superhuman? lmao.

49. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? >> If I felt confident in my ability to perform CPR, I might. I think it’s mostly the fear that I’m going to do it wrong and... idk, kill the person quicker? that would prevent me from doing it. It does sound vaguely irrational when I write it out like that, but hey.

50.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? >> ---

51. Are you old fashioned? >> No.

52. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? >> I’m not “nice to” people. I just treat people with basic respect and consideration, and of course I expect that in return...

53.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? >> ---

54.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? >> ---

55. What was the last thing you ate? >> A few toasted vanilla Smashmallows.

56. What kind of guys are you usually attracted to? >> ---

57. What’s the stupidest thing that’s happened to you that ended a friendship? >> I don’t think any of the things that ended my friendships were stupid. It just sucked.

58. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve had sex for? >> Inworld, probably... an hour and a half, maybe 2 hours? Outworld, I don’t remember or care.

59. What reality shows do you watch? >> I don’t think I watch any. I’m trying to think if anything I’ve watched on purpose qualifies as “reality” and I... don’t think so? Untold Stores of the ER is basically just dramatisations of allegedly-real stories, so maybe that’s the closest thing to reality tv that I watch? Man, I do love that show. Oh, wait, those cooking shows! Those are reality TV, right? Okay, yeah, I watch stuff like that.

60. Post a video of yourself here: >> No.

61. Where do you work? >> ---

62. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? >> ---

63. Where do you buy most of your clothes? >> I don’t have a designated place where I buy most of my clothes. I shop for clothes so infrequently that it’s really just “wherever has the specific item that I want”.

64. If you were very intelligent and had the capability to have any profession, what would you like to be? Getting tired of the unrealistic hypotheticals. <-- My constant mood with surveys.

65. What’s your most irrational fear? >> ---

66. How many radio stations do you listen to? >> Zero.

67. What kind of music do they have? >> ---

68. Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii? >> Oh, but I would go to either...

69. Musicals: Yay or Nay? >> Yay :)

70. What are the next concerts you’ll be going to? >> Ha! Hilarious.

71. What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about? >> ---

72. Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others? >> Inworld I will spend all day cuddling if I can. Outworld, I legitimately cannot remember the last time I initiated a hug with someone. It’s been years.

#surveys #survey #random survey

18 notes · View notes

princessozera · 3 years

Text

Not OM, I just wanted to post here the first ever fic I actually wrote and published

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY AS A DISCLAIMER EVEN THOUGH I PUBLISHED IT LAST YEAR (2 years ago?) I WAS ACTUALLY YOUNGER WHEN I WROTE THIS. I DO NOT SIMP FOR DAMIAN LIKE THAT ANYMORE, HE IS MY SON.

The Only Exception

(Aged up/Older Damian Wayne x OC)

The seats are filled, the air is comforting, music and perfume floating in the air. Today Rosella Anderson is to be wed to Damian Wayne. But, weddings never quite go according to plan. Talia and Ra's Al Ghul have made it clear they don't like her, on multiple occasions. But with no less than 50 trained fighters and investigators on both sides of the aisle, nothing can interrupt or ruin her special day...... Right?

Chapter 1: Getting Married Today

"Come on, suck it in!"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN TODAY!" I whined as Alice yanked the ribbons on my corset tighter.

"WATCH IT!" Crystal swats away Alice's hands and undoes the ribbons a bit. "Suffocate her and she doesn't make it down the aisle, pack her like a sausage and my hours of makeup will have gone to waste!" She huffed and finish tying the ribbons, satisfied that they weren't too tight.

"I don't think I ever really appreciated the amount of work it takes to make curly hair not be frizzy," Barbra Gordon says between sips of champagne, lounging on the hotel bed.

"That's why I don't do my hair that often," I laugh, sitting on an ottoman so Alice can put my veil on and Crystal can help me put on my garter. My maid of honor, Cassandra Cain, came over and tried to feed me some fruit slices. I tried to argue, but I couldn't hold my own as she stared me down. I let her feed me some cantaloupe slices until she was satisfied and went off to finish getting ready.

"You really are a queen today!" Stephanie laughed as she walked around the room again, holding a video recorder. I tried to hide my face, but she grabbed my hand and swung it around. "A beautiful princess for Gotham's own prince! Tell us, your majesty, how are you feeling, about to be married off to Gotham's richest stone statue?" The girls laughed but I just shook my head at her. "Me, Tim, and Dick are making a documentary for you two. Any words for the lucky man? Anything you want to say to your future self, your family, your future kids? " Whistles and laughs went around the room and I couldn't help but blush.

"Well, let's take this one step at a time," I laughed to hide my own embarrassment. "Damian," I started, looking directly into the camera, "I don't believe in love at first sight, but damn did we square up on first sight. Not many people can say they had a full on MMA fight with their future spouse within minutes of meeting them. Yet, after that whole fiasco was solved, you've never been anything but gentle with me. People always said we wouldn't last; lava and ice. Water and a drought. Incompatible. But you were the first to look past who I had to be, to see who I was trying to be. You brought me a family, and I like to think I've brought you some serenity. I don't believe in destiny, and I'm not too sure about fate, but I believe in us. I believe that I'll fight for you until the end of time because you'd do the same for me. Because you are my home, and there's no place I'd rather be." I get choked up, wanting nothing more than to have him in my arms right now. I missed him like hell, even though it's only been 2 days since I've seen him.

"This isn't the time to start reciting your wedding vows silly," Cass said and I couldn't help but giggle. She wipes away the tears that I hadn't felt form, making sure to not mess with my mascara. Stephanie sighs happily and puts the camcorder down, reaching over to hug me.

"I'm so glad I get to be your sister," she whispered to me, and I hugged back tighter. We both jerked in surprise at the knock at the door. I immediately reached for my bag, looking for my well-worn notebook, but Cass's hand steadied me. Barbra got up, fixed her dress and went over to the door.

"Who is-" She stiffens up immediately, hand pulling back from the handle. "It's Talia." Stephanie immediately got in front of me, and I grabbed Cass's hand as she reached for her own bag, searching for her gun. I'd never told my friends about Talia, but they took the hint found their way to their respective bags, throwing knives and whips at the ready. Truthfully, I was finding it a little hard to breathe and I doubt it was the dress. The knock came again, more insistent, but no one moved.

"It's your call Rose," Barbra said, her eyes never leaving the door.

"Let her in," I tug on Cass's arm and she helps me stand up. "If she wanted me offed, she would have gotten someone else to do it. Or at least she wouldn't have knocked." Crystal and Alice look between all of us in alarm and decide to take the window as Stephanie goes to back up Babs by the door. The door opens, and there stands Talia, as beautiful and regal as ever. She glances over everyone before finally meeting my eyes.

"Lady Al Ghul, please come in. To what do I owe the pleasure?" I said, fidgeting with my dress. She steps in, nodding to Babs and Stephanie.

"I'd like to have a word with you before the ceremony," She says, running her hand along the wet counter cluttered with makeup. "Alone," She said with a pointed look when no one moved. That harsh edge was enough to get everyone to cover or flank me again. She didn't respond to this, simply staring at me. I put my hand on each girl's back, one by one.

"Go, I'll be fine. We'll be right here," Babs stares me down, but I nod back. She caves and starts to leave; Alice, Crystal and eventually Stephanie following behind, after she grabs something off the bed. Cass refused to move.

"Do I need to remind you that you can barely move your waist in that monstrous dress? She'd get to you before any of us were the wiser," She whispered in my ear, holding my arm pretty tightly. I wormed my way out of her grasp and grabbed the worn notebook from my bag.

"I promise, it'll be fine. Anyways, I forgot there were 2 more things I needed to do," I flipped through the pages quickly, finding what I needed and handing it to her. "If you could please take care of it? You should be done by the time we're done talking and we can head to the venue." Cass read through it quickly, then looked at me again. She gave a curt nod and walked out as well.

"We'll be right outside," Babs says pointedly before closing the door. Talia and I stood in silence for a moment, before she slowly stalked towards me until she was less than 6 feet away.

"Lady Al-"

"Your still not worthy of my son." oop. Right to the point, as always. Can't say it didn't hurt.

"You're a commoner, a nobody. No title, no land, not even superior health to your name. You failed classes in high school, went to college on scholarships, and couldn't land a proper role in your field until a year in. Failure, after pitfall, after failure." JESUS CHRIST THIS LADY DID HER RESEARCH. My face burned in humiliation, but nothing I could say now would justify everything she just listed out. "And yet... Damian loves you."

"I may not like you, but I know how I raised him, and Bruce has done a good job of bringing up a boy worth more than the names he was born into. Wayne. Al Ghul. Damian. I will have faith in his choice, he is not a stupid boy. Foolish and stubborn yes, but not stupid. If he thinks you are worthy, there may be hope for you yet." holy shit, no way, is this actually happening? I'm too stunned to say anything, just grateful that my mouth isn't hanging open.

"When you return from your honeymoon I expect you to face me in a formal duel and undergo training as necessary," she puts her hands on her hips, challenging me to argue with her, but I was so happy I had to restrain myself from hugging her.

"It would be an honor to battle you Lady Al Ghul," I say, finding my tongue, stifling my giddiness with a bow, and a hand over my chest.

"Talia is also acceptable." She says with a nod, taking another step forward and adjusting the skirt of my dress and finally my veil before turning starting to walk back to the door. "My father and I will also be in attendance to this event, but if you ever wish to gain even an ounce of his approval, you'll need to do another more traditional ceremony at a later date." My heart swelled, and for a second, I legitimately thought I was going to break down crying. This was better than anything I could have prepared for. I couldn't just let her walk out like that.

"Damian'll be elated!" I yelled out to keep my voice from cracking. Talia stops, and I gush on. "I know you haven't had the easiest of relationships, with conflicting ideology and all, but he really does love you, and Ra's, even if he doesn't say it. He looks up to you guys and wants to make you proud. You being here will mean the world to him." I force myself to stop talking before I say something weird or bad. Talia turns back to me, walks up swiftly, and hugs me. I'm stiff in surprise, but manage to hug her back before she gives me one last nod and walks out. Everyone runs back in the second Talia is out.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?" Babs immediately grabs my arms and starts inspecting me up and down for any sign of injury.

"Don't cry don't cry!" Alice pleads with me, fanning my face to prevent the tears from falling.

"Talia hugged her, check her back and skirt for anything weird," I look over to Stephanie, who was staring down at her camcorder. Had she left that hidden on the bed? I didn't even notice. But it was so sweet. I could show Damian later all the sweet words his mother said about him.

"Jesus, you're so teary today," Cass mumbles as she does her own inspection of my dress. When she's done, she sees my tears are of joy, so she hugs me. "Your journal's impressive," she says handing back my heart covered notebook. I'm still choked up and trying not to bawl in relief so once everyone was satisfied that I wasn't going to drop dead in the middle of the aisle, they sat me down so I could calm down while they finished up. I collected myself, the extremity of these emotions leaving me exhausted. I drifted off with the warm glow of my friend's laughter and love filling the air.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No way, you did not fall asleep!"

"Get up get up get up!"

"Cass, I'm fully warning you right now. If she falls asleep at the ceremony like this, I'm throwing my bouquet at her head"

"You might have to beat Stephanie to it," Cass giggles, as she gently shakes me awake. I take a second to reorient myself, blinking the drowsiness out of my eyes, and stretching.

"Ooh, we could coordinate it though!" Stephanie perks up, "if she falls asleep; Alice and Crystal, take your flowers and make it rain, and then Babs, Cass and I hit her in the head. Guaranteed it'll wake her up!" We all laugh and I get up, taking a minute to appreciate my beautiful friends. It was a debated choice, but the deep purple fit everyone perfectly. We did have to make a few adjustments to Stephanie's overall look though, to keep her from looking too similar to her alter ego, Spoiler. Bouquet in every pair of hands, key cards in garter wallets and phones on silent, we made our way down to the venue.

"We're only running 10 minutes behind, it couldn't be helped," Babs tries to calm my nerves as I all but start jumping in the elevator. Cass also had to put a hand on my waist to pull me back when I almost ran to my place. She escorted me around to the side doors; the girls and I were coming in from the right, Damian and his groomsmen were coming in from the left. He had wanted to avoid any issue of who should walk him down the aisle; I thought it was cute how he couldn't choose between Dick and Bruce. Cass and I were slow dancing to calm my nerves when the rest of the girls came back.

"Pianist and minister are ready" -Babs

"Decorations are gorgeous and on point, everyone is in their seat and there are no fussy children" -Alice

"Lights, audio and AC are perfect and photographers are also ready" - Crystal.

I nodded, yes, everything was going smoothly. Of course, I had used everything I had when planning this. I was floating on cloud nine, simply nodding along when Babs spoke up.

"Has anyone seen Stephanie?" she asks, grip tightening on her bouquet. No one knew so we all just waited around for 5 minutes, everyone starting to get fidgety. Stephanie came back, 10 minutes later, looking a little out of breath and a bit pale, even under her makeup.

"Ok so there's a situation,- the guys are running late but it's okay they're o their way, they'll be here in 20 minutes!" Stephanie sped through the second half of her sentence when she saw that I was going to panic. I breathed out in relief and nodded, satisfied.

"I'll make the announcement, Dick probably went overboard trying to do his hair again," Babs snickered and headed into the ceremony hall. We played a light game of ninja as we waited to hear from the guys, but I soon became hyper-aware of time passing. I don't have the best perception of time, I don't even have a good memory, but I caught the looks my bridesmaids were giving each other.

The questioning looks.

The worry.

I let myself get kicked out of the next round and walked a little ways off, pulling my phone out and calling the number I knew by heart, ignoring the time that read that I was now almost 40 minutes late to my own wedding. The phone rang 3 times, and I turned away from my girls who were really getting into this game, rooting for Cass or Alice to win.

"Damian!" I sighed in relief when the line clicked. "hey, how much longer do you think you guys will be in traffic? If it's going to be another while, I can have it arranged so snacks and drinks are handed out so no one gets restless. I could also give the pianist a break, he's been playing the same chorus on repeat for the last half hour-" I let my voice trail off as I was met by a stone wall of silence. Not even a joke from Dick or Tim or Duke. I waited him out, after a minute of silence, Damian spoke up.

"I'm sorry beloved, I can't do this."

"What?" I asked, but my voice was so thin and breathy I doubt he heard me.

"I can't go through with this. This marriage, this wedding. It's all a joke. Who even cares about this mess? It's all so... stupid. Pointless." not a hint of hesitation, voice more ruthless than I had ever heard it. No. No way. was he serious!? I struggled to find my words, I shook with the pure effort of breathing normally even though I felt like I was having an actual heart attack; tight chest, palpitations, the whole 9 yards. Tremors ran through my body and I finally managed to choke out "Damian-"

"Goodbye Rosella" the line clicked off and I take a shuddering breath.

"Rose?" Cass says, gently putting a hand on my shoulder.

"He's not coming."

"What?"

"He's not coming!" I shriek, clutching my waist to stop my stomach from churning but to no avail; at least I didn't have much of lunch to throw up.

"What do you mean he's not coming!" Babs demands, yelling from where she was

"shit"

We all turn and there stands Jason, looking uncomfortable as hell and very much like he didn't want to be here. That confirmed it for everyone. Alice, Crystal, and Babs started yelling questions at Jason. Stephanie pulled out her own phone and started dialing a bunch of numbers but it seemed like no one was answering. Cass tried to speak with me, but my ears were ringing, it all sounded like white noise. And I felt cold. but hot. but freezing. I raise my hand and draw everyone's attention, all becoming deadly silent.

"Alice, Crystal. please go tell the pianist, the minister, and the photographer. Give them my email so I can settle up the charges later. Stephanie and Cass, please go see if we can keep the party reservations for tonight. Everyone else should enjoy them, even if there is no.... Barbra, could you please break the news that I... we..." everything got really blurry for a second and the floor rushed up to meet me, but I caught myself on the table before I could pass out completely.

Not here, not in front of them. Don't put them through a breakdown.

Everyone was fussing, but I couldn't stand here for another second. "Go. I just want to be alone. Please. go. GO!" I yelled and they all dispersed, shooting me worried looks. Cass gave me a long hug before she decided I needed a moment alone.

"Don't move from here." She instructed me. "Go get the guys," she demanded to Jason before going off. Jason looked at me sadly, trying to find the right words to say.

"Rose-"

"Please leave." he walked away without another word. Once I was sure he was out of earshot, I ran with everything I had out of the hallway.

Pardon me is everybody there

because if everybody's there id like to thank you all for coming to the wedding

I appreciate you going even more

I mean you must have had better things to do.

Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers,

Thank you all, now it's back to the showers

but I guess I'm not getting married today

The perfume is suffocating, overly sweet, fake as plastic, thick as sugar. I can't breathe, but I don't need air to run. Don't stop, move. Move. Move. The ribbons are strangling me. The garter is cutting off my circulation. Gloves are hurting me. High heels, weak ankles. My rolls of fat spilling out of the dress. rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls. can't stand. can't wait, I throw open the door to the stairs and take them in 3s.

Listen, everybody,

look, I don't know what you're waiting for.

A wedding. What's a wedding?

It's a prehistoric ritual

Where everybody promises fidelity forever,

Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of,

Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize

He's saddled with a nut, and want to kill me, which he should.

Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married

I scream as my veil gets caught in the handrail, yanking my head back, falling down a couple of stairs. No question, I rip it off. It stings, it hurts, bobby pins forcefully ripped out. The shoes go too, heels are stupid, why are they so tall. Tall and tall and make my knees wobbly. The taller they are the harder they fall. Up the stairs, 3 at a time, legs on fire. Don't stop, don't stop, hike the dress up and keep running all the way to the 50th floor.

Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand, but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married

But I'm not getting married today.

I slam open the hotel room door, to hell with neighbors. Suffocating, burning, melting heat. I rip off the gloves, scream as I can't get the ribbons out of my dress. I scream, jump, squirm and throw myself around until it finally comes off.

He didn't come. shut up.

He didn't want to. SHUT THE HELL UP

I felt everything to an extreme degree. Too much. Why am I breathing so heavily? Why am I sweating bullets!? I throw my hair up in a ponytail, yank the garter off, tripping over my own two feet. My phone falls next to my head and the only thing I can think to do is to throw it into the toilet. I grab my honeymoon bag- no, my emergency bag that happened to have cute clothes instead of food, and switch into my leggings and a t-shirt. It's all I had. It's all I could ask for.

Go! Can't you go?

Why is nobody listening?

Goodbye! Go and cry

At another person's wake.

If you're quick, for a kick

You could pick up a christening

But please, on my knees,

There's a human life at stake!

I'm parkouring down the stairs, jumping entire sections, falling on knees, but ignoring the pain to jump again. Emergency phone in one hand, I order the uber, start the bank transaction, even though I have to read everything 10 times for it to make sense. What do? where go? don't know. not here. One bad jump and I collapsed entirely, but as I scrambled to throw everything back in my bag, I see the plane tickets. yes. away. out. not here. leave.

Go! Can't you go?

Look, you know I adore you all

But why watch me die

Like Eliza on the ice?

Look, perhaps I'll collapse

In the apse right before you all

So take back the cake

Burn the shoes, and boil the rice

Out of the stairway, but slammed into a wall. Around the corner, Alice and Babs and Crystal and Jason and Stephanie and Cass and Bruce and Selina and Duke and Tim and Dick and Alfred.

Remember when you first met them? He swore he'd protect you but that they'd love you. please stop! I begged myself, think of anything, anything but him. anything but this. Get out, then we can cry, but not here, not now. I watched them split up, so I hid behind a corner farther back. Steph and Cass took up the stairs. Everyone else was gone so I ran out the back door. Out of the hotel, away from the perfume, away from the flowers, the candles, the dresses. From them. And by some small miracle, the car was already here. I jump in, only taking a second to notice that it was, in fact, an uber.

"Hello, ma'am! How are-"

"Please! Just go!" my voice breaks and the tears start up again. I brush them aside furiously/ doing everything in my power not to start sobbing, but he listens to me and speeds off.

BECAUSE I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TODAY

(A twist on this song that actually inspired this whole fic)

Chapter 2: On The Run

I'm going to kill him

Why didn't he show up?

How fucking dare he

Was it something I did?

I was nervous too bitch; I drank a shot of tequila and sucked it up!

Was it something HE did? Was Talia lying? Did Ra's kidnap Damian? Why did the boys wait to tell us? Did Stephanie know that something was up? Do any of them even-

"Ughhhh," I groaned audibly as my thoughts and emotions started to run together. It had been a while since anything left me this.... discombobulated. Exhausted. A mess. I'd almost forgotten how awfully I reacted to being overwhelmed and out of control. The uber driver shot me a curious look but didn't say anything. Keep it together Rosella. Just, go home and.. I flinched, chagrined at my own stupidity. "Get somewhere safe" I amended under my breath, "and then you can have as big of a breakdown as you want. Just, be a stone again. Close it all out. Suppress the fire, drown the noise." I rubbed my eyes, the dry burn giving me the weirdest throbbing headache.

The ride to the airport was stiff, to say the least. My driver kept trying to talk to me, but my responses were so dry he gave up. He didn't question the extra stop at the bank, even while he waited outside for half an hour while I verified with tellers inside that I was, in fact, the owner of the account and that I was draining it.

Erase your tracks. You were never here. Are you even alive?

Still, we got to the airport as quickly as I could have hoped for and made sure to give him a large tip for his troubles. I walked through the airport, undoubtedly looking like some pompous bitch with only a stone face and backpack, my actual suitcase left behind in my whirlwind out. I only had some snacks, a Nintendo ds, some stationary things, deodorant, and a toothbrush. I hadn't even remembered to grab my disposable water bottle, toothpaste, or hair brush before leaving. Whatever.

It was almost flawless. I bypassed the checked bag lines, slid right through TSA (bless you TSA Pre-check), although I did get some looks when they checked my bag. I guess overall I looked like I should be getting on a school bus instead. I sat down at a cafe and pulled out the tickets, 2 first class tickets to Malaga, Spain.

I'd set up our honeymoon as a complete surprise to Damian. Bruce and the boys had worked so hard to help me clear out a whole month from his schedule. I'd gone through hell and back to make sure all of my project managers could handle any situation that could happen either in making or transporting our different projects out... We were supposed to be jumping cities for a month in Europe. Cities with small populations, so we could avoid drawing attention, but full of gorgeous architecture and delicious food for me; significant art history and cultural relevance for Damian.

It's going to be a technical nightmare to cancel all of those reservations and getting the tickets switched and sold. Do people even actually do that? But I have to, I don't know where I'm going but I don't want any of them to tra- SHIT. My head snaps up and one quick look around tells me I'm already too late. I spot 5 cameras easily.

I grab my things and head over to a gift shop. I grab bunches of clothes and accessories off of the shelves, hurrying off to pay and doing my best to avoid cameras now as I sneak off into the restroom. I throw on some atrocious sundress, flats, and a baseball cap, flipping my hair twice in an attempt to make it look like a pixie cut. For a second I consider actually finding something sharp to hack my hair off.

I need you to not be a social breakdown cliche for a minute, it took you years to properly grow those curls out. Please don't waste my efforts. Yeah, it's for the better, I look like Dora the Explorer with short hair anyway. Tim wouldn't sell me out to Damian, right? LMAOO he bailed at the wedding you really think he wants to hunt you down?? Or what if Tim wants to find me? Or anyone else? Damian's pretty good at following people. Even then, Babs, Cass, Roy are competent hackers, any of them could find my data and track me down... Are any of them even on my side?... I couldn't help but let out a whimper. I pursed my lips, placing my hands on the cold sink to calm myself. What's my plan anyways? I can't go to any of the cities in Europe where I already have reservations. Too easy. I could go to the Netherlands...

"But Damian knows where I lived there, because of the time we visited my friends," I sigh out loud, facepalming. "But not entirely a bad idea..." I say as I start flipping through the different cities I've lived through. Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Germany, France, Croatia, Portugal, Malta, Romania, Hungary, Austria, are all out. We'd either been there or they were part of the honeymoon plan. I didn't want any reminder of him.

Actually, all of Europe is out. I've raved about it too much. We've been too many places, we both had too many ties scattered throughout Europe. I can't speak Russian, Talia and Ra's have connections all across the middle east, and the north half of Africa. Jason and Cass had some unexplainable ties across north and south america. With every city I named, I hated myself more for talking so much. For trusting him with these memories.

Honeysuckle kisses on cotton candy memories.

shut up.

Isn't there ANYWHERE I've lived and worked that my big mouth hadn't mentioned? As I was starting to get desperate and the headache started acting up again, I found actually ecstatic relief. That would be actually literally perfect. God bless my forgetful memory. The apartment I'd never sold. The country I actively avoided talking about because Damian would get jealous.

I snuck out of the bathrooms and headed over to customer service. I had to work my way past a large group of people. Overhearing snippets of conversation, apparently, their flight is somewhere between delayed or canceled. Inspiration hit me. Give the ticket to someone here. Send them to Spain, let them stay at the hotel. He could follow a cold lead. This would give me enough time to go to one country and get a ticket to where I actually wanted to go.

I look around the group. Too many were in pair or more. Some looked very buisness-y type. There! A girl who looked like a backpacker was chilling, glancing through her phone. You're going to sound absolutely mental. I approach her nevertheless. I pitched her my idea, but she was rightfully skeptical. I swallowed my pride and told her a cold version of the truth.

"My fiancee left me at the altar. I'm going to Mongolia. I don't want his ticket, I don't want the hotel. Either take it or I'll give it to someone else. Or let it go to waste. I don't care. I don't want it. I'll even pay the name change charge." The anger in my voice came out clear, and by another miracle, she accepted it. We walked over to the help desk and I spoke with the dude behind the counter. He seemed hesitant at first, but he gave me a double take when he checked my reservations. With a brighter smile, he got me on the first flight he could to Mongolia.

"Will that be for both tickets Mrs.Wayne?" He asked cheerfully before reeling back, caught off guard by my watering eyes.

"Anderson. And no," I managed to spit out. I signaled for the girl from earlier to come closer. "I'm transferring the other ticket to her, we need to get the name changed." He looked uncertain but went ahead. If he was accommodating before, I could tell he was bending over backwards now to get everything situated. I could see his concentration as he tried to bypass things without having to question me again.

"Umm, your profile says you've actually been to Belgium before, how was it?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Beautiful and quaint. Great place to relax and enjoy nature if that's your thing. I'd recommend Lithuania too, or Leinchestein." I say, trying to keep a light tone. He nodded happily, seeming to take my recommendations seriously before handing the girl the new plane tickets. We thanked him and headed off on our respective paths, the girl taking a minute to hug me.

" I hope you can heal soon, and wish you a bright future" she whispered to me. I hugged back, trying not to cry again. She bought me a bag of peach gummy rings and left me at my terminal. I dropped some calls out to friends, blessed that they all decided to take one or more of the reservations around Europe I'd had. I kept the details to a minimum but they figured out pretty quickly not to mention me to Damian if they happened to see him. Some small part of me, thankfully more aware than the rest had the foresight to call some utility companies and get everything at my apartment working again.

The help desk attendant worked miracles, my nonstop flight boarded less than an hour later and I had managed to keep a first class seat. I sat down and started doodling nonsense in my journal, blasting music in my headphones. But around 6 hours into this 19-hour flight, exhaustion overcame me and I drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beloved," Damian sighed as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "It's almost 11, we need to get out of bed," he murmured into my hair.

"Nooooooo" I whined, stretching further into the sunlight. The doors were ajar, a nice breeze keeping us cool. I snuggled into him. "We're on a vacation, orders from Bruce. And on vacation, you can stay in bed all day."

"But there might be monsters nearby-" He said mysteriously, catching my attention.

"I didn't get reports of any- AH!" I scream as Damian proceeds to tickle me. "No! Sto-" I try to gasp out between laughing. I manage to fight him, tumbling out of bed. He laughed at me as I tried to untangle myself from the blankets.

"That's a dirty trick Wayne!" I gasp, trying to catch my breath. I grab a pillow and chuck it at him, but he just catches it and throws it back. We have a small impromptu pillow war before he taps out after a good hit knocks him onto the balcony. "BOW TO MY PROWESS!" I jokingly declare, jumping up and down on the ottoman. Damian runs over and sweeps me down.

"Please. Don't. Fall. And. Break. Your. Head" He accentuates every word with a kiss, making me giggle. He lets me go and takes the bathroom to shower first. I head out into the kitchen, humming to myself. I grab some of the fruit we bought yesterday and start making a fruit bowl. I'm halfway through cutting the Jicama when Damian's arms are around my waist again.

"What are you doing?" He asks, resting his chin on my shoulder. Before I could answer, his grip around me tightened. "Be careful!" He whispered harshly, putting his hands over mine. "Your knife skills could use some work, you could have cut your finger off like that!" He scolded me but I scoffed.

"Haven't lost a finger yet"

"No, but you did set your oven on fire. THREE TIMES" He elbowed my side and I pouted.

"Excuse you, that 2nd time wasn't my fault, remember? Dick broke into my place and fell asleep making fish sticks," I retaliated, squirming out of his grip and started making some sandwiches for lunch.

"I really should improve the security at your apartment," Damian says as he finished cutting up the Jicama and strawberries, plating them and dropping them off at the table.

"As if that would stop every vigilante from the northern hemisphere from breaking in," I snorted, bringing over the sandwiches. We ate in peace, letting the soft instrumental music from the radio fill the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sigh happily, turning in my chair, reaching out for Damian's hand. The second I touched the cold seat next to me, my body freezes too. "Damian?" I muttered drowsily, sitting up straight. His bag isn't under his chair. Why am I wearing a dress? Why are my leggings rolled up? I start to panic, breathing rapidly and trying to blink away the tears in my eyes. It's enough to pull me awake and I remember what happened.

"Oh... oh" I hiccup and bite my lip, looking back out the window into the starry night. The tears start falling, but I'm being quiet so I let them. My skin itches. My neck, my wrists, under my eyes. I start scratching, trying to ignore my memories. The trip to Italy, our joint project to improve the villain resistance of the infrastructure of Gotham, the charity events we attended.

"Ma'am?" I look up, a stewardess in the aisle leaning over. I wipe my eyes, catching the furious red color my wrists had become, before turning to her. "Uh, you missed your meal earlier and I was wondering if there was anything I could get you?" She looked uncomfortable now, glancing between my red eyes, red nose, and now red wrists and presumably red neck. I glanced over the menu she handed me, ordering a full meal. She dropped the food off and scurried away, not meeting my eyes.

The meal was laid out beautifully; tomato soup, grilled cheese and grilled chicken with a slice of cheesecake. Yet, I couldn't seem to muster the strength to eat. It didn't really seem appetizing, and I wasn't hungry.

The last time you ate was over 10 HOURS ago, and that wasn't even a full meal. C'mon, one bite. I picked up the fork, but simply twirled it in my hand, watching the metal catch the light. You'll get a raging headache if you don't eat soon. Might get that deep vein thrombosis. I take a bite of the chicken, tasting nothing despite its obvious layer of seasoning. I swallowed it with half a glass of water. It felt thick, heavy, almost like swallowing a rock. But I had to eat. When I didn't immediately throw up, I set up my phone to play a cache of 65 action movies to distract myself and started eating bit by bit. I could tell I was drinking a ridiculous amount of water, but the stewardess replaced my glass without it ever going entirely empty so I didn't really notice how much I had downed. She cleared my tray when I was done, and I just kept watching movies. Whenever I thought I was going to fall asleep, I'd crank the volume up, scroll forward to fight scenes and take a drink of sprite. I was about 4 movies in when I threw off my headphones, whimpering with how severe my headache had gotten despite eating and drinking water.

"Good morning passengers, it is 10 pm and we're about to start our final descent so if you could all please put up your trays and turn off the wifi in your electronics, we'll be landing shortly." Not gonna lie, the time zone jump threw me for a minute, I had taken a second to figure out how we made the flight in 8 hours instead of 19. I shoved everything into my bag, forcing the zipper closed. I wanted to put on some rock or pop punk songs, “Battle On!” seeming weirdly appealing, even though I hadn't heard it in a while. I felt a vein in my neck twitch, so I settled on music from the swan lake instead.

The second we touched down I was up. I only had my backpack so I was able to squeeze by people, ignoring protests and complaints to get off the plane. Off the plane, past the luggage claim, I was going down the escalator when I spotted them. Advika was talking to Zay, looking mad as hell, but she noticed me first. She ran over and almost tackled me to hug me, Zay taking my bag. "Princessa, baby girl, I'm so sorry." She cries into my hair, "I didn't think he was an asshole, oh god, how could he do that to you!"

"We have the plane ready to go," Zay says, joining in on the hug. I let Advika cling to me as we make our way to the opposite side of the airport. Once we're in a more private area, Advika speaks up again.

"I'm going to kill him. How fucking dare he!" She squeezed my hand, and now started pulling me towards the airplane.

"Isn't that Rosella's line?" Zay prods before looking back at me. "But in all seriousness, we will absolutely end him, just say the word. Don't even say it, blink morse code, ASL, anything." I keep my mouth shut and let Advika continue to rave about the different ways she'll end Damian; financially, socially, whatever I wanted. We went out onto the runway and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"The company jet? Isn't that a bit much?" I say as Zay escorts us in, before heading to the back.

"The boss said it's okay. Nearly bit my head off when I called to ask but said it was ok. You did help establish our company in the foreign market," Advika takes a seat but gestures for me to lay down on the couch. "No offense mi princessa, but you look like a fucking mess. Please take a nap."

"I don't know if I can do that," I say, letting out a long sigh. Zay comes back, handing Advika a small purse and laying a platter of cheese and crackers on the table across from us. He sets up instrumental music, from “Carmen” if I'm not mistaken, as Advika takes my hat off and starts combing my hair. I lay back into her, letting her brush out my hair, counting her impeccable pattern. 2 squirts from a spray bottle to moisten my hair, 10 brush strokes. 2 then 10 then 2 then 10. My eyes started feeling heavy so I forced myself to take a deep breath and sit up. The motion made her accidentally yank my hair and woke me a bit. As she apologized I alternated my breathing patterns to try to stay awake, noticing for the first time that we were already in the air.

"Please, just go to sleep," Advika begged, grabbing my hands and forcing me to look at her. I stared at her for a moment before answering.

"I did... on the plane. I dreamed of him. The disorientation of waking up made me think I was on my way to my honeymoon," I let out a bitter laugh and she flinches, looking over to Zay, unsure what to say.

"You look pale," Zay interjects. He comes over to me, placing a hand on my head and then my neck. He doesn't comment on the marks, but he and Advika share a look. "Change your clothes, drink some water, then these, we don't want you getting sick." He puts 2 pills in my hands before going off to find me some water.

"Yeah, getting sick is the absolute worst thing that can happen to me right now. How silly of me," I roll my eyes and Advika snorts, trying to mask her laughter. I leave the Nyquil pills on the couch and get changed. I come back and take the pills, leaning into Advika again so she can continue to play with my hair. She spoke about anything and everything, filling the silence with her happy chatter. Undoubtedly, she was trying to distract my conscious so if I did dream again, it wouldn't be about him. It worked, her happy banter following me into my dreamless slumber.

-------------------

I awoke to Zay gently shaking me, thankfully a lot less disoriented than last time. I gather up my things, helping myself to the bottles of water they had around. I ignore the bandages wrapped around my wrist, but the one on my throat was quickly starting to freak me out. Advika seemed to sense my discomfort, immediately coming over and cutting the bandages off.

"Sorry, your skin seemed a bit raw so we wrapped it up," she explains calmly, alternating to rubbing her hand up and down my arm to soothe me.

"S'ok," I mumble, taking my bag from Zay.

"We called you a cab -it got here a couple of minutes ago-, but you're more than welcome to stay with either of us back in Mongolia. Neha and Juniper also moved here ya know, I'm sure she'd-" I cut Zay off with a shake of my head, and follow him out of the plane.

"I just really want to be alone for a while, ya know?" As alone as I can be with my differing opinions yelling at me and my endless train of thought that does NOT SHUT UP. Zay nodded but Advika grabbed my arm before I could hail the cab closer to the plane.

"I know you want to be alone- and you absolutely do need some time alone, this is going to be a lot to process- but...." She hesitated, biting her lip. "I know how you can get Ro. don't even try to argue with me on this. Please, take some time, but do not hesitate to call me or anyone else." Would this be a bad time to throw up? That's one way to diverge the conversation. Advika held me but I wouldn't meet her eyes. "You know what? If you don't check in with me in a week I will track you down and drag you to live with me. I'm not joking. Do you understand" I want to protest, but then I remember she didn't even have my phone number. Game on. I agree and they both give me a hug before I board the cab.

"Good morning"

"Good morning, where should I take you?" ah. another thing that I hadn't thought of. Without even bothering to check my bag, I knew I didn't have my keys. But I knew someone who might. I give the cab driver an address and I pull out my phone. But I can't even ask because I don't remember her number. I sigh, hoping things hadn't changed as much as I thought.

We're in downtown Seoul before I can start properly stressing myself with the "what ifs". Had she moved? What if she didn't have the key? Would she yell at me for arriving at... Almost 3 am? I decided to do the math to distract myself, reworking the math on how a 4-hour flight turned into a 5-hour flight for a solid 10 minutes before I realized that I had not taken another time zone into play. Small miracles were on my side today. Yesterday? Tomorrow? Whatever the fuck day it is. Since it was so early, there wasn't much in the way of traffic, and the doorman was the same one that had been here when I lived her for however long it was. I explained to him that I was here to see Hong and after some reluctance, he let me in.

Up the elevator to the fifth door, doors opening to crisp air, reminiscent of fall. Exactly 30 steps forward to a door with 4 pastel sierra sunset decorations on the door. I knock, timidly at first as to not wake the neighbors. In 5 minutes, again, a little louder. I did this for an hour before I gave up and simply stood there with my head on the door.

"Hong. Hooooonnnngggggg" I whined quietly. Wow, thank goodness it's so early, everyone would think you're a creeper. lmaooo just imagine getting arrested your first day back. I whined into the door, contemplating just sleeping out here.

"Rosella?" a soft voice came from behind me. I turn to see Hong with Geo's arm around her. There were 2 more people behind her but I barely had the awareness to nod as a greeting. "What are you doing here? Wasn't yesterday your-" She stops, noticing that my lip had begun to tremble.

"Rosella-" she comes over and wraps her arms around me, hiding my face from view of the others. Someone unlocks the door and she drags me inside. The sequins on her dress start to itch, but I continue to hug her. Once I'm ready to let go, she sits me down and goes to change her outfit while Geo sits with me. in awkward silence for a while.

"Rose, what happened?" He eventually asks, sliding over a glass of ice water. "I thought your wedding was yesterday. Wasn't your honeymoon suppose to be in Europe?" I couldn't seem to muster the strength to answer, simply staring at him and sighing.

"You have no tact," Hong comments, combing back in her usual floral pjs. She flops down next to me, placing her hand on mine. "You don't have to tell us now, but I would like for you to tell us eventually." I can't help but smile, she always has a soothing air to her. It's impossible to be mad or upset near her. " I have some clothes you can borrow; I have friends over today so you'll have to take the couch, but you can have the guest room tomorrow." I shake my head, forcing myself to pull away from her motherly touch.

"I could never impose on you, I was just wondering if you have my spare key? I really want to go home." I let my voice crack at the end, hoping she wouldn't push for me to stay here. Geo looked at me like I was crazy, staring particularly long at my single backpack.

"Okay. Geo, could you get her key? It's in the top dresser with a purple tip," Hong nods to him and he leaves. " I do feel the need to remind you that you pretty much purged the place when you left. I don't remember the last time I visited either, so its probably super dusty too."

"I'll make do for tonight. I'll go to the store tomorrow for food and cleaning supplies, ok?"

"You'd better, you forgetful dip stick," Geo grunts as he hands me the key. "Actually, we could probably find somewhere open rn. We could swing by and-"

"I was actually going to walk home it's a nice night and-"

"Absolutely not." Hong interrupted me, sounding her top tier forceful. "I know you've been through some shit in the last 48 hours but I'm not going to let you commit suicide by stupidity!" I took a minute to process this, for a second I thought I was back in Gotham.

"It's not far... I only have my backpack and the crime rates here aren't even that high Hong. You know I took mi-"

"Yes yes, I know about your MMA history, but I draw the line. I don't know how much the others have let you get away with but you are not walking alone at night!" I don't fight her, letting her drag me to her car, Geo driving. We're at my complex within minutes.

"Take care of yourself Rosie." Hong says, giving me a half hug through the car window, Geo simply putting a hand on my head. "I'll come to check up on you- and if you don't answer the door I'll call the cops" she threatened before letting go.

"Thank you, seriously, this is so great that you had my key, and for dropping me off." I hesitate before heading up. "If you don't mind me asking, how long have you two been dating?" Geo's blush was extremely visible against his skin, even in the shadows.

"It's that obvious huh? We've been together for about 5 months," Hong replied, blushing as well.

"I always thought you two would look cute together," I said, this time with a genuine smile. I wave them off and opt to take the stairs up. I opened the door to my apartment.

It's freezing, dust dancing in the waning moonlight. I set my bag down, pulling out another change of clothing from what I had bought at the airport. I threw it into the bathroom before heading over to my emergency closet. Never though the emergency stash would be used like this. Maybe we shouldn't use it? Earth shattering heartbreak is too an emergency, fuck off. I'll restock it anyways. I pull out some towels and bath supplies. I get in the shower, letting the steaming hot water run over me.

Since when have I not been able to feel my fingers? I ask myself, flexing them one by one. It's like the stakeout in Boston that one winter, Dick brought us hot chocolate-

No. Don't even. Dust! This place is messy and I want to properly disinfect it- unconsciously increasing the pressure with my loofah- I'll need Lysol, tide pods, scrubs, dish rags. Probably should buy more plates too. Damian always had a peculiar adoration for matching cutlery sets, when he bought me some ramen bowls-

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW! I jerk up, my hand immediately going to my upper spine. I breathe in too quickly, taking in some water. I pull open the curtain and lean over the tub, cough and sputtering, trying to catch my breath.

"What- the- fuck-" I manage to gasp out. I was sitting down in the tub, I guess I had fallen asleep???? I shake the drowsiness off, turning off the water and getting out. Despite, or maybe because of, my broken sleep this last day I was still exhausted once I had gotten changed and my heartbeat had slowed down. I looked to my room door, but collapsed on the sofa, letting the musty leather suffocate me to sleep as my bones sunk into the couch.

Chapter 3: Safehouse

I awoke the same way I fell asleep.

Suffocating.

I wanted to get up, find a tissue to blow my nose, but every muscle in me ached a million ways. Did I fall off the empire state building while I was asleep? Did some cannibal beat me with a meat tenderizer for hours and just leave me on this couch? Holy FUCK.

Even twisting my face away from the couch so I could get some fresh air strained my neck. Every joint felt dislocated, limbs lifeless like a broken marionette. The dust. Allergies. I can't breathe...

Can't breathe

Suffocating! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE- I panic, throwing myself off the couch. Landing on the ground actually didn't cause any more pain. I laid there for a minute, mentally trying to put my joints back in their sockets. It isn't a large enough distraction, and I'm soon hyper-aware of everything. My skin was burning where the sunlight touched, the dust in the air was so heavy I could have sworn I lost my vision again. I could hear the meaningless hustle of cars and people outside on the sidewalk, but worst of all was my pounding heartbeat in my ears.

THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP

I forced myself to get up, groaning as all my muscles pinched as they got back into place. I made a lot of unnecessary noise as I cleaned up my mess from last night. Throwing the shower caddy under the sink, flipping my backpack and letting everything fall out, slamming my dirty clothes into a pile in a corner. And I couldn't help but look around every couple of minutes, not entirely understanding where I was. Trying and failing to compensate for the noises that usually find me when I wake up. When I threw open the balcony windows, I realized I was still waiting to hear another window slide open and a soft "I'm home", even though it was well past noon.

How wild would it be if he actually went on parole after all that? Would a fight have broken out? Would it have been like the whole Owls mishap again?

Get your head out of your ass, they're his family; blood is thicker than water.

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

He's been helping and fighting alongside them much longer than you have you dip. I storm into the kitchen, only grunting as I smash my hip against the counter. I set out 4 pages of stationary in front of me and made lists; food, clothes, furniture, extra. I took my papers and started walking around, jotting notes of what I needed. Talking to fill the void.

"More toilet paper, hand soap, towels," I hum under my breath, not really checking the cabinets. "As for clothes I should-" my voice caught when I walked into the bedroom. It was freezing. I reflexively bit my lip, eyes watering. Instead of goosebumps, this cold sat in my stomach. The same cold in my hands, from the airplane seat, returned- lacing up my arms, down my stomach and legs. Stabbing my heart and restricting my lungs.

I'm alone.

"I should buy like 4 interchangeable outfits," the whimper barely sounded through the silent tears. I shut the door tight, almost running back to the living room. I sat just outside the ring of light, hunching over my paper. "Jeans, underwear, toothpasTE-" I sniffled but my vision only got blurrier.

"BoOKcASes, a bEd, mayBE a BeAr," my heart squeezed every time my voice broke, and in seconds I couldn't write on the soaked paper. The hiccups were my only air, snot streaking my trembling chin.

"What did I do? What. diD. I DOOO?" I sobbed, wailing into my hands. I curled around a leg of the coffee table, letting its corners cut into my stomach. Wailing until I was dry heaving, scratching my eyes to get rid of these acidic tears, blowing my nose with my shirt- moist blotches sticking to my skin. "Day- Damian" I cried to myself until I passed out again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Afternoons spent silently reading with each other

Matching outfits for galas, some he designed himself, just for me

Our home downtown- bought to have some peace and quiet from his family. Although half the time they broke in, the other half we ended up back in the manor.

Traveling for work, for fun, for missions he didn't think were dangerous.

Sparring with Jason and Cass.

Jason showing me a hundred new bands when I got him into new music genres, trying to help each other find less aggressive ways to vent. Giving him the cream to completely erase the J from his cheek was different, the first time I saw him cry. He understood that blood family wasn't always loyal, and that I didn't mean it when I'd punch or insult someone to hide softer feelings.

Cass just vibing, understanding me and letting me get close. She was always the first to come help me when I was hurt, I became the person she could cry to. The way her face lit up when we were just able to chill a whole night, singing, watching movies and simply understanding each other on a fundamental level.

Barbra growing aggravated as she tried to teach me how to do more with technology than just googling things. Her forgiving my stupidity after I built her a new computer.

The long talks I had with Dick. Anything and everything. The first time hurt, when I called him out. He was giddy and chipper, dramatic as ever but when he caught me staring and stopped for long enough to look back, the pain in his eyes was clear as day. He had just broken up with Kory after all. He didn't need to lie, he didn't need to lighten the mood, he just needed to be honest. But once he could smile honestly again, I couldn't help but remember that he was the one who found out about me and Damian first. He'd been there to spy on our first date, hiding it from Bruce. He was the first to take me out for ice cream then subtly threaten my life if I harmed Damian, the first to swing by for spontaneous days out. To get to know me, to see if I was right for Damian.

Stephanie, Tim and I bonding over teasing and pranking Damian.

Tim and I being forced into caffeine and sleep interventions. Coffee and Coke. And then the beautiful irony of us falling asleep halfway through, especially after I taught him how to sleep with his eyes open.

Cooking with Alfred, learning his famous cookie recipes. Showing him more authentic Hispanic recipes, and him comforting me and being the first to compliment me after I was duped into cooking for the ENTIRE family.

Philosophical and political discussions with Bruce. Talks about war and power, cultural similarities and their origins. Talks about Damian as a child to mess with him. Opening up about paranoia, fear of losing loved ones, the controversies of being "too much" for some people. He understood, sometimes the ultimate sacrifices had to be made in a second. He understood because he was the same. We'd give up our lives before anyone else.

It's all gone.

So much of my past, and now, my whole future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's cold. i stripped off my shirt and blew my nose.

blood. eww, it's hot. i hold my shirt to my nose, crawling under the table, balling up until i could feel all 4 legs pressing into me.

tuneless humming, watching the room light up until my eyes burn.

I have to pee.

I wash my hands, the water making me aware of my bone dry mouth. My tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. I let the water pour through my fingers for another minute before walking away, laying back under the coffee table.

long grains. shades of brown. like dead grass. my fingers run over the million tiny bumps watching the wood fade from a blurry brown to a million tiny wooden grains.

My hair is on fire. The sun reaches it from under the table.

There are people in the hallway. They're as loud as the cars outside.

the ac is running. i start humming to drown it out.

i'm melting. i force my eyes to blink but they continue to burn.

I can't breathe. I stagger to the bathroom and after a few minutes of moving my jaw up and down, my mouth manages to open. I swig some water before throwing some on my face. fever? headache at least. I grab a towel to wipe my face, fumbling back into the hall. fuck was i looking directly at the sun? there is only one place colder than the sun. i walk to my bedroom, the cold imperceptible to me now.

but the second i put my eyes directly onto the empty bed frame, i could almost hear them sizzle. it exhausted me. I hadn't realized how hot my face was until i laid it on the floor. like a refreshing bath, calming. i just focused on my heat being transferred to the floor, unaware that I was falling asleep again.

((The writing for the last chapter is intentionally like that, I was attempting to write Rose being in a type of disassociated kind of state; where you aren't aware of time passing, noting seems real, even things in your immediate vicinity. Knowing that you should be doing something, drinking water, changing clothes, listening to music, ANYTHING-but still not doing it. The capitalization/simple sentences and repetition on the latter part was intentional. ))

#I dont know #i guess i wanted to see how/if my writing's changed #YES THIS IS WHERE I GOT THE THING FOR DIAVOLO'S DADS LETTER I REALLY LIKED IT SO I REUSED IT #I couldnt come up with a nice transitory chapter about Rose's friends coming to check on her/ reminding her that she's her own person/#coming back to gotham #BUT THEY DEF DONT GET BACK TOGETHER #not obey me!#NOT OBEY ME #Not OM!#Ozera nonsense

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recentanimenews · 3 years

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Manga the Week of 2/24/21

SEAN: As I write this, Texas is being hit with blizzards. Why not curl up… in your dark house with no power… with some manga?

Airship gives us the print volume of the 2nd I’m in Love with the Villainess, and also a print volume for Skeleton Knight in Another World 8.

ASH: I haven’t finished reading the first volume of I’m in Love with the Villainess quite yet, but I suspect I’ll want to pick up the second.

SEAN: Denpa’s site says that The Girl with the Sanpaku Eyes 2 is out next week.

J-Novel Club has a trio of light novels. By the Grace of the Gods 6, Campfire Cooking in Another World 9, and The Greatest Magicmaster’s Retirement Plan 8.

On the manga side, they have The Faraway Paladin 4 and Seirei Gensouki: Spirit Chronicles 5.

Kodansha has two print debuts, though we’ve seen them both digitally before. Cells at Work: Baby! is essentially the superdeformed version of the series.

ASH: I enjoyed the original series, but haven’t managed to keep up with all the spinoffs!

SEAN: A Sign of Affection (Yubisaki to Renren) is one that I’ve gushed about before, but here I am gushing about it again. This story of a boy and girl meeting and falling in love, it’s all about communication, as our heroine is hearing impaired, and our globe trotting hero does not know sign language. Fans of Kimi ni Todoke should check this out.

MICHELLE: I missed this when it was a digital debut, so I’m grateful for a second chance at it.

ANNA: Amazingly, this is one of the very few Kodansha digital titles that I have read, and it is absolutely wonderful. It is by suu Morishita, so fans of Shortcake Cake should absolutely pick it up. I’m sure I bought the first couple volumes digitally due to Sean’s gushing and just never posted about it. Morishita does some wonderfully innovative storytelling as the two main characters figure out how to communicate with each other, and the hearing-impaired heroine is portrayed with great sensitivity. I’m so rooting for Yuki and her first real romance!!

ASH: I’m really looking forward to reading this one now that it’s in print. Can’t pass it up with recommendations like that.

MELINDA: Well, how can I possibly resist after that glowing recommendation?

SEAN: Also in print: Heaven’s Design Team 3. The anime is currently airing.

ASH: I have legitimately learned things about animal life reading this series.

SEAN: Digitally the debut is How Do You Do, Koharu? (Gokigenyou, Koharu-san), by the author of (and in the same universe as) Say I Love You. Koharu (the younger sister of Yamato, the male lead in Say I Love You) prefers to keep her friends solely on the digital side… till she’s tempted by a follower who she might want to be more than just friends with. This runs, of course, in Dessert. I hope it is a bit less drama-filled than its parent series.

MICHELLE: I’d seen this one on the release calendar but didn’t realize it had any connection to Say I Love You. Interesting!

SEAN: We also see DAYS 22, Harem Marriage 2, Maid in Honey 6 (the final volume), My Best () Butler 6, My Unique Skill Makes Me OP Even at Level 1 2, Shangri-La Frontier 2, What I Love About You 3, and When We’re in Love 5.

Seven Seas’s biggest debut may be one that came out first nearly 10 years ago. After a period where it seemed that you couldn’t go a week without a new volume, the Alice in the Country of _________ series vanished, allegedly due to licensing difficulties with the original creator. But now it’s back… in digital form! It’s getting rolled out over several weeks. This week we get The Clockmaker’s Story and Love Labyrinth of Thorns (Julius) and The Mad Hatter’s Late Night Tea Party 1 & 2 (Blood).

ANNA: I think I’m tapped out of Alice in the Country of stories but I’m amused to see these being released again.

ASH: Oh, wow! I had somehow previously missed this news.

SEAN: In actual new titles, the debut is Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon (Kaketa Tsuki to Donuts), a yuri office romance story that runs in Comic Yuri Hime. Always happy to see more non-high school students.

And there is The Ancient Magus’ Bride: Wizard’s Blue 2, Days of Love at Seagull Villa 2, Failed Princesses 3, and How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift? 5.

MICHELLE: I still haven’t even read volume 1 of Seagull Villa!

SEAN: Square Enix Manga debuts Ragna Crimson, a Gangan Joker title whose summary has the words “dark fantasy” and “revenge-fueled quest” and I stopped caring.

In much better Square Enix manga news, we get A Man and His Cat 3.

MICHELLE: Yay!

MELINDA: Yes!

SEAN: Apologies to Tentai Books, I missed their debut light novel which is actually out later this week. World Teacher: Special Agent in Another World (World Teacher: Isekaishiki Kyouiku Agent) is another of those books where the plot is described by the title.

Tokyopop has a debut. The Cat Proposed (Bakeneko Katatte Sourou) is a one-shot BL title from Canna. A man watches a play and sees one of the actors has cat ears. Turns out he’s a bakeneko, and has chosen our protagonist as his spouse!

There’s also the 3rd and final volume of Still Sick.

Vertical has Ajin: Demi-Human 16 and Bakemonogatari’s 7th manga volume.

Yen On has had a few date shifts (try to contain your shock), but we do get a few new volumes this week… and two old ones, as Haruhi Suzumiya 3 and 4 get reprints. 4 is considered the series’ high point.

And there is Do You Love Your Mom (and Her Two-Hit, Multi-Target Attacks?) 8, The Greatest Demon Lord Is Reborn As a Typical Nobody 5, In the Land of Leadale 2, Konosuba 13, and May These Leaden Battlegrounds Leave No Trace 3.

There’s also a Yen Press title I missed last week, as it’s out this Saturday. Megumi Hayashibara’s The Characters Taught Me Everything: Living Life One Episode at a Time is her new memoir, and Yen is putting it out digitally the same day it comes out in Japan!

ASH: I really hope this is released in print at some point, too! It should be really good.

SEAN: Because of various delays and date shifts, Yen Press has FIVE manga debuts next week. We start with Adachi & Shimamura, the manga version of which we’ve already seen the light novel and the anime. Please enjoy Adachi’s gay panic and Shimamura’s attempts to be a functioning human being in a new medium. This runs in Dengeki Daioh.

Days on Fes is a series about two friends going to rock festivals, and that’s about all it is, from what I hear. Sounds like a Laid-Back Camp vibe. This runs in Comic Newtype.

ASH: Oh, that could fun.

MELINDA: I might be into this? As someone who used to go to a lot of music festivals, that is.

SEAN: The Girl without a Face (Kao ga Nai Onnanoko) is a one-shot from Comic Beam. A boy and girl are in love. She’s a bit… expressionless – literally – but that’s just fine. This looks both cute and spooky?

ASH: This could be fun, too!

SEAN: Golden Japanesque – A Splendid Yokohama Romance is the sort of josei title folks were BEGGING for ten years ago. It runs in Flowers’ online magazine, and its author did Kare First Love, for Viz fans with long memories. A Meiji-era title about a half-Japanese girl who’s discriminated against and the boy who thinks she’s a fairy-tale character.

MICHELLE: Ooh! I actually do own all of Kare First Love, as it happens.

ANNA: I am a Viz fan with a long memory and I think I own most of Kare First Love too. I am officially intrigued and will be picking this up.

ASH: Same!

MELINDA: Same here!

SEAN: Lastly there is ID:Invaded #Brake-Broken, a title which hurts me when I try to say it out loud. It’s the sequel to the anime, and runs in Young Ace.

We also get Eniale & Dewiela 2, Mieruko-chan 2, Overlord: The Undead King-Oh! 6, The Saga of Tanya the Evil 13, Slasher Maidens 2, Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun 7, The White Cat’s Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King’s Lap 2, and A Witch’s Love at the End of the World 2.

ASH: I’ll likely be picking up a few of those, too.

SEAN: What manga melts the weather all around you?

By: Sean Gaffney

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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itsdaggerandsheath · 4 years

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A Discussion of Purity Culture (Part 1)

TW: Mild mentions of sexual abuse/rape

This is gonna be a long one so buckle up.

So, for those of you who don’t know (which is most of you), I am a Christian. Now, this doesn’t just mean that I grew up in a Christian family that brought me to church every week as a child; I am now an adult, and I still very much worship the Lord and believe in (most of) the Gospel. Yet, as you can tell by my blogs and my Instagram page, I also heavily believe in comprehensive sex education. Now, I’m sure some of you have met plenty of Christians who are sexually active and who believe in instilling good sex education as well, and I hope you have met people like this because the Christians that don’t believe in good sex education (among various other things) make the rest of us look like idiots. Which is why the rest of you are probably shocked that someone who self-identifies as a Christian woman wants to pursue a career in sex education. The two of them definitely seem to contradict.

While I don’t necessarily feel the need to defend myself to any of you as I am happy with being both a believer in Christ and in comprehensive sex education, I do realize that to those of you who are shocked at me revealing this about myself, an explanation would be…intriguing to you. So, I will explain how I maintain a certain level of homeostasis between my Christian beliefs and my beliefs on sexuality…in Part 2. For now, though, I simply want to tell you all the story of my experience with purity culture thus far so I can catch you all up to speed. Then, in Part 2, I’ll tell you all what I’m doing to try and overcome it.

I suppose that I should probably explain what exactly “purity culture” is for those of you who may not know. Purity culture stems from the group of people (primarily Christians in America, but many other religions share in this culture as well) that believe that sex should only be for a heterosexual married couple. They believe that if you have sex before marriage you are, well, “impure” in some way. You’re tarnished. Your worth as a human being goes down. No one will want to be with you if you’ve already been sexual with someone else. “No one wants to chew gum that’s already been chewed,” is a popular one that I’ve heard. They worship the concept of virginity, and believe that your virginity is a physical state of being that should only be taken away from you by your spouse, and your spouse is then the only person you should have sex with for the rest of your life.

Now, here’s the thing: if you legitimately want to wait until you’re married or in love to have sex, and it’s a choice that you are making for yourself that no one else is making for you, that’s fine! That’s totally valid. Abstinence is always an option, but it shouldn’t be forced upon anyone. I for one always knew that I wanted to wait until I was in love to have sex for the first time, which I did, but I knew from a very young age that I was not going to wait until marriage – and I didn’t.

Let me explain to you the kind of church environment I grew up in. For the most part, it really wasn’t that conservative. You didn’t have to dress up or be “proper” in any way; every church I’ve ever been to mostly consisted of people wearing T-shirts and jeans, maybe some of the women wearing a casual sundress or something like that, but everyone usually wore their typical, casual, everyday wear. And there was a lot of diversity too! Lots of different skin colors, single people, people in relationships, married people with children and married people with no children; people of all ages and careers and positions in life. Hell, I even was allowed to be on my current church’s worship team as a singer, and I had bright blue hair at the time. I have tattoos and piercings and am still a little bit emo, but my pastor said, “Come as you are!” which is something that I still to this day think is really beautiful and really important.

But it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Some things just didn’t quite make sense. For example, my church has stated that, while people in the LGBTQ+ community are welcome inside our church at any time, they don’t “agree with or promote the lifestyle”. If you’ve had an abortion, you won’t be shunned or kicked out or anything like that – you’ll still be welcomed with open arms, but the church won’t “agree with the choice you made”. I could give several more examples, but I think you get the picture. Another thing that my church emphasizes is remaining abstinent until marriage, which is what I’ll be focusing on here. And man, my pastor is one of the kindest, most genuinely good-hearted people I’ve ever met in my entire life. But that almost makes the things that he and I disagree on suck that much more.

Let’s talk about my childhood first. In Part 1 of my “An Introduction to Sex” series, I mentioned that my mom openly answered any questions that I had about sex as a child, but marriage was always emphasized. There was a time where I thought it was illegal to live together before marriage, and the idea of having children outside of marriage seemed biologically impossible. Then, when one of my cousins was born out of wedlock, I remember being wildly confused as to how it possibly could have happened. A couple years later, my dad and my would-be-stepmom moved in together years before they ended up getting married; and then, my own mother became pregnant out of wedlock by a man who is no longer in our lives. I love my little brother more than I love life itself; this now eight-year-old boy is the most important and precious thing in my life, but boy did he make a hypocrite out of my mother for a little while.

As I got older, even after my brother had been born, my mother continued to urge me to wait until marriage to have sex, in hopes that I would avoid “making the same mistakes she did”. When I first started dating my current partner, I remember being in the car with my mom when she told me this. She also told me that the first time you have sex it hurts, and she told me that males get “blue balls” when they’re horny, and “once you start you can’t stop because it hurts them”. To this day I still wonder, was she just trying to manipulate me into staying abstinent, or did she really believe that? If she did really believe it, what did it say about the men she’d been with in the past? Was she ever forced to do something sexually that she wasn’t comfortable with because some loser guy had told her she’d given him blue balls? Did my own father ever do that to her?

Let’s not think about that right now.

As I said before, while I was never planning on waiting for marriage, I did want to wait for love. Which I did. I fell in love with my current partner hard and fast almost three years ago. Part of me wishes that I could go back; if I’d known that “losing your virginity” is not the huge, life-changing event that I’d been raised to believe it was, I wouldn’t have been nearly as nervous. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, balancing myself against the sink in my partner’s bathroom as he told his mom we were going out for ice cream, which is not what we were going out to do, if you catch my drift. I stood against the sink shaking with nervous excitement. It’s not that I wasn’t ready, I was – and if I wasn’t, I would have had no problem telling my partner that. But I thought that I would wake up the next morning different. I thought that this was going to change my life. I thought I was going to be a new person when this was all said and done. So, I stood against the sink and tried to memorize every line and freckle on my face, as if I wouldn’t be looking at the same face in the mirror the next morning.

I woke up the next morning to find that nothing had changed.

I remember wondering if we had had sex wrong, because I was convinced that I was supposed to be different in some way because of everything that I’d been told about “losing your virginity” all my life. I wasn’t sore. I really didn’t feel any different. I certainly didn’t look different. I didn’t have a “glow” to me. I thought my mom would be able to tell just by looking at me, or that my fellow churchgoers would know. I walked into the church early that morning for practice as I was still on the worship team at the time and was almost stunned that none of them had figured it out.

This was one of the first big realizations I had in realizing that most of what I’d been told about sex growing up was bullshit.

My partner and I really hadn’t been dating for that long, and we were still getting to know each other. My partner didn’t grow up going to church, but he saw that my faith was important to me and wanted to understand better, so he asked if he could come to a service just to see what it was like. I of course said yes, and we planned a Sunday for him to come with me and my family.

The first time he ever came to church with me, the sermon was about abstinence.

My pastor had never delivered a sermon on abstinence before. It of course just so happened to be when I brought my first serious relationship to church for the first time. I never wanted to crawl in a hole and die as much as I did that day.

Now, my pastor actually made a lot of good points, as the sermon wasn’t just on abstinence, but rather sex in general. He said a lot about how we need to end sexual abuse and how men in the church need to stop treating women like objects and how big of a problem human trafficking is about the world – I totally agree with all of that, as I’m sure you all do too. But the underlying message was abstinence. If everyone remained abstinent until marriage, all of those problems would disappear! Fair point (kind of) but very unrealistic. And what about marital rape? What about people who don’t want to get married?

My pastor has never claimed to be right all the time, nor has he ever claimed to have all the answers, which I appreciate about him. And while I don’t think he was entirely correct in delivering this sermon, I can’t say it didn’t have an impact on me. All I wanted was to get out of there and profusely apologize to my partner that I’d dragged into this. When we finally did get out, I remember feeling sick to my stomach with guilt – but not guilt over the fact that I’d become sexually active when it was supposedly “unholy” to do so, quite the contrary: I felt guilty for not feeling guilty about having sex. Does that make sense? I loved my new sex life! My mom always said that she felt ashamed that she’d had sex before marriage; I didn’t feel ashamed. But I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I should have felt guilty, but didn’t. I felt guilty for not feeling guilty, which was one of the most fucked up emotions you can have about something I know now I’m supposed to enjoy.

Did you know that only 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex? That is, assuming everyone in that 3% is telling the truth. This means that, statistically, out of the 200 people in the church that day, only 6 of them had waited until marriage to have sex. That’s only three couples.

My pastor never delivered a sermon on sex again. It was not received well by those in the congregation who had had children out of wedlock or thought that the intention of the sermon was to make people feel guilty – which my pastor claims it wasn’t and hey, maybe that really wasn’t his intention, but I’m not surprised that it made a lot of people feel guilty. Then a teenage couple in the congregation got pregnant a few months later, and I’m not judging them (and neither did anyone in my church as most of the people who attend are very nice), but it did sort of drive the nail that much further into the coffin.

My partner and I managed to brush off the embarrassment of the abstinence sermon…eventually. It did take him several months to every come to church with me again, and can you blame him? I’m surprised he ever came again at all. Anyway, as I continued to be sexually active, I decided that it would be a good idea to get on birth control to help with pregnancy prevention. My mother was so engulfed with purity culture though, I was afraid that she’d say no or even prevent me from seeing my partner (I was still a minor at the time) if she were to find out that I was having sex.

So, I decided to ask my atheist dad and stepmom for help.

They were lovely, and a great help! They talked to me, talked to my mom, and with their help, I was able to muster up the courage to ask my mom if I could get on birth control, which, to my great surprise, she said yes.

After getting the prescription, my mom sat down with me and had a long talk with me about how, even if she and I don’t necessarily agree on everything, she just wanted me to talk to her and be open and honest with her. She told me that if I’d asked her about birth control even without the help of my dad and stepmom, she’d have said yes. She revealed to me that she’d taken birth control when she was my age too (gee, that would’ve been nice to know) and said if I had any questions about it, I could always ask he

Wow! What a great reaction! I remember at the time thinking that this was such a cool thing for my mom to say to me. Surely, everything from then on out was fine and I was able to kind of get out of the purity culture world, right?

Nope.

See, I forgot to mention – even though my mom didn’t wait for marriage with my dad or her dumbass ex that became the father of my half-brother…she and my stepdad did wait until marriage. Which doesn’t make sense because neither of them were “virgins” because they’d already been married before. They claimed that they were simply “doing things in the right order” by not having sex until the wedding night and not moving in together until after the honeymoon. So now my mom tries her absolute hardest to bring up the fact that by doing so, she was being a good influence on her children and hopes that we would follow in her footsteps and wait for marriage.

So, the fact that I didn’t do this was seen as an act of rebellion. Despite my mom telling me she just wanted me to talk to her, she takes every opportunity to rub it in my face that I’m “not a virgin” anymore.

Examples? Well, a couple years ago, a few months after I’d first started taking a new birth control pill, I’d started bleeding long before I was supposed to get my period. I knew that it was probably my body just having a reaction from being on a new pill, but I went to the immediate care just in case. I’d called my mom because she was at work and couldn’t come with me – but by this time I was eighteen and could go by myself, I just figured I’d call her and tell her what was up because she said I could talk to her, remember? At first, she was very reassuring because she knew I was nervous, saying, “You’ll be okay, don’t worry. Just go to the front desk and tell them what’s going on – they have our insurance on file, there shouldn’t be a copay. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about, thank you for calling to let me know.”

That was a decent thing of her to say, right? Then she said more.

“They might have to do a pelvic exam, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. It might be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt because you’re not a virgin.”

Thanks, Mom.

But the most recent fiasco was icing on the cake. It went a little something like this: quarantine has been very hard on me and my family. My little brother doesn’t understand his E-learning and throws temper tantrums when he’s upset, and sometimes my mom will throw a temper tantrum right back. I had my own school work to do as I’m a university student and my school sent us all home, so I had to move back in with my parents and do my classes online at the dining room table. But it’s a little hard to get work done when I can hear my mom and brother screaming at each other downstairs, and it’s even worse when my stepdad joins in. And to top it all off, an old friend of mine was unexpectedly killed in a car accident, and due to the Covid-19 guidelines, I couldn’t go to her funeral.

My partner has an apartment a state over near his university that is not the school’s property, so he didn’t have to move out of it, but he came back to our hometown to stay with his parents. He did this to be with his family during this weird and difficult time, but also to be near to me in the event of an emergency and also so we could have social distancing dates. However, as time went on, he came to realize that he left some things in that apartment that he needed or would have been useful to have (like food, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, etc.) and he pondered crossing the state boarder to go and get everything.

Unfortunately for him, no one in his family was willing to help him with this endeavor, so once it was safe and legal to cross state boarders in our area, I offered to go with him (we were very careful, we wore masks and washed our hands frequently, and once we were in the apartment, we didn’t’ leave).

Now, I’d been to this apartment in the past. Whenever my partner and I felt the need to get away from school, our families, whatever it may be, this tiny apartment in the city was a haven for us to get away from it all. However, my mom hates it when I go to the apartment with him and stay the night because, in her eyes, sleeping with someone (even if it doesn’t involve sex, just sleeping next to your unmarried partner in general) is immoral. So, I don’t stay the night with my partner very often just so I don’t have to hear my mom bitch about it. But this time, I really needed to get away from everything going on in my house and my life, and my partner and I knew that moving the things out of his apartment would take time, so it just made sense to stay the night anyway.

The thing is, I did tell my mom that he and I were going to stay in the apartment overnight. I believe my exact words were, “We’re gonna go stay in the apartment tonight”.

This was a Friday, so we went to the apartment, packed up what we wanted to pack up, then came home on Saturday. Rather than going home, I went with my boyfriend to his family home in our hometown and helped him unpack, then spent the rest of the day with him.

At ten o’clock Saturday night, I received the following text from my mom (apart from eliminating mine, my sister and my partner’s names for privacy reasons, this is verbatim what she said):

“Hi babe. Since I didn’t see you all day I’ll assume you’re safe with (partner’s name here). You said you guys were going to his apartment last night but nothing about spending the night. Thank you for just assuming that was ok, not asking permission, and giving me the lovely experience of answering questions this morning from both of your siblings. I love you more than anything (my name here)…I hope you’ve had a good day and I hope I get to see you tomorrow.”

Atrocious, right?

Now, I did tell my mom that I was going to be spending the night the previous night, so I figured that there must have just been some miscommunication, which I then apologized for:

“Mom, I did tell you that we were going to spend the night, I’m sorry if there was some kind of miscommunication but I did make sure to mention we were staying over.”

Now, any rational mom would think to herself, “Oh, man, maybe there was a miscommunication after all! Maybe I’m not right all the time and should take my child’s words into account!”

Nope. She said:

“Not sure when…considering we were in the front room with (my sister’s name here) when you said you guys were going to his apartment in Chicago, but ok. I’d still like you to think about what you’d like to say to your brother when he asks. Night baby.”

P A T H E T I C

Let’s analyze this a bit further, shall we?

Let’s say you have a child (who actually isn’t a child and is an adult, but whatever) who you thought would be returning home in the morning and didn’t. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were legitimately worried about their location and their wellbeing? I don’t know, maybe CALL THEM? But did my mom do this? No. Which means she didn’t actually care about where I was or what I was doing or why I hadn’t come home; she cared about our image and explaining by supposed bad behavior to my siblings – an eight year old boy and an autistic woman, neither of whom asked me anything about this event in the following days.

Next, I communicated the idea of a miscommunication. Maybe I misspoke! Maybe I made a mistake! You’d think that she’d reciprocate this. Maybe she misheard. Maybe she misunderstood. Maybe don’t throw your other kid with autism (my sister) into the mix. Maybe entertain the idea that you could have been wrong and that maybe I did tell you I was staying the night with my partner and you just blocked out what you didn’t want to hear.

Next, she acted like I did this scandalous and awful thing that my siblings would have all kinds of questions about when literally neither of them gave a single shit.

But the best part? This text conversation was the night before Mother’s Day, and she sent it to me right before she went to bed so that I wouldn’t be able to argue with her about it, and what kind of daughter would I be to start a fight with my mom on Mother’s Day? She strategized this conversation so that she could have the last word.

Bruh.

She made herself out to be such a victim. How dare I go spend the night with my boyfriend! What will the children say?! Nothing. Literally nothing. Because I did nothing wrong.

So, let’s get into my concluding thoughts.

I know, finally, right? This has definitely been my longest blog to date.

I love my family, I do. I love my church and the people in it. Do I agree with every message that’s being spread? No, absolutely not. But it is possible to see the good in people even if you don’t actually agree with everything that they say. And I love my mom, but the way that she behaves when it comes to me being sexually active is bullshit. I know it could be worse – there are places where having sex before marriage is punishable by death. Arranged child marriages are still a thing. So my mom getting on my nerves is certainly a first world problem, but it’s still not something that I should have to deal with, right?

Having realized that the culture that I’ve been raised in is bullshit, I’m trying to move forward with my life and keep my head held high, but how? Especially during a time where I’ve been forced to move home with my parents? How can I continue to maintain my relationship with the Lord while trying to escape this toxic purity culture? Luckily, I received some great advice from my last therapist on how to do just that, which I will be happy to tell you all about…in Part 2.

In the meantime, I love you all, and please stay safe.

- Dagger and Sheath

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migleefulmoments · 4 years

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Abby is the 1 who needs a reading comprehension lesson. An anonymous person said 'You're a narrow-minded fool if you actually put any stock in whether or not a married man is wearing his ring.' Abby's reply was 'Never once did I or anyone I know say that a married person has to wear a ring.' Am I crazy or is that totally 2 different things? Sometimes Abby is so blind it makes me crazy. Also, if u could do a follow up to her blatherings re her post it would be great. I'm just gobsmacked over it.

I see you wrote another post clarifying it was Cassie who made the comments you quoted but the entire coven’s comments after Cassie just get more ridiculous- “fact” after “fact” of lies and nonsense comparisons. It’s batty that they believe any of the lies- but they believe them all!

Anonymous asked: My grandpa doesn't wear his wedding ring because he used to work as an AC/heating repair man (he even taught college courses on fixing heaters at one point) and then was just not in the habit when he retired. That doesn't make his and grandma's marriage less valid. Rings are a symbolic thing that most cultures don't even do. You're a narrow-minded fool if you actually put any stock in whether or not a married man is wearing his ring.

cassie1022 answered: Oh yay, fun. (Cassie -always so charming) My dear Nonnie, once again, reading comprehension eludes someone that believes in the Miarren myth. Never once did I or anyone I know say that a married person has to wear a ring (and yet Abby pops in below to claim the same but then argue that it IS the ring coming and going that looks suspicious. Let’s pretend that cc rings were real- he didn’t wear them every day regardless of what Abby claims.). Some people don’t wear them because they work with their hands, like your grandpa, and some just don’t feel comfortable wearing them. Let’s be real though. D has never shown an aversion to wearing rings. He’s worn them quite often, even while playing a show (yes, but he also took them off. It’s his prerogative. Until he says he’s getting divorced, it’s none of our business). There was a time when the only time he DIDN’T have a ring on was while he was in character (so what? He has had his wedding ring on most times we’ve seen him. You are counting individual photos as entire days and that isn’t accurate)

That being said, let’s examine. When was the last time you think D fixed a car, operated heavy machinery, or, like your grandpa, fixed an AC unit or heater? (You have no idea what he does in his spare time. This is a gross comment-some people do things with their hands -build things- because they enjoy it) (Maybe if he could do that, people wouldn’t be making their own sweat gravy when they go to TSG.)(So now we start with the lies and mischaracterizations. FUN. There are two comments from TSG claiming A/C was broken. Since likely Mia doesn’t own the building, she has no control over the A/C being broken).

As I’ve already said, rings aren’t for everyone, but I’ve also pointed out that D has been an avid ring wearer most of his life, and there is more than enough photographic evidence to support this. Also, most couples that exchange rings don’t usually stop wearing them in the first year of marriage.(And he hasn’t stopped wearing his now has he?) That’s when it’s usually a point of pride and you want the world to know you are someone’s spouse. (Does Darren seem like the kind of person who is worried about “the world knowing he’s someone’s spouse”? He’s pretty open about his relationship and taking his ring off for an hour or two isn’t indicative of anything).

You know what DOES make a marriage less valid? No legitimate officiant.(LIE) There are only a handful of states where you can officiate your own marriage, and guess what? Louisiana isn’t one of them.(He didn’t, Joe did) You need an ordained minister and in addition to that, the minister must register in the parish where the marriage is taking place.

So, if this makes me a “narrow-minded fool,” so be it. I’ve been called worse. (It definitely does).

ajw720 I needed to laugh this morning, thank you nonnie.(I would imagine you need to laugh a hell of a lot more than you do Abby) You people really don’t get it (Oh lord). Also, it isn’t JUST the ring (which is very suspicious especially as he deliberately takes it off at random times, there one minute gone the next) (Here abby argues it isn’t the ring.... except it is the ring) , it is as @cassie1022 pointed out, no officiant (LIE) , weird wedding algorithm (the fact that Abby truly believes there was a guest algorithm says everything there is to say about Abby’s judgment and the cc nonsense) is FAMILY HONEYMOON (a joke) constant babysitters (LIE) d’s complete lack of enthusiasm (he practically said he was bored and realized at the last moment that that was bad) (Desperate Abby, you're so desperate) , talked about pooping exes as opposed to how life changed with his bride (and you don’t get that this is was keep from speaking about his personal life? How long have you been a fan? Joking about something to distract from having to answer something private is spot-on Darren), speaks more passionately about his jacket then his wedding (we done got hitched) (This means nothing Abby...NOTHING. He wrote a boring post about his jacket and you’ve been losing your shit over it ever since. IT meant nothing...it was a coat he wore to an event. You only like it because he was boring and serious. It was the farthest thing from Darren I’ve ever read.), announced the engagement using a reference to the wrong freaking franchise (I can’t...this is one of your dumbest arguments out of a lot of arguments. It was a JOKE Abby, a joke. He used the franchise that made the joke funny. Darren doesnt’ own a franchise) , FIVE FUCKING encagement rings (LIE), the last of which is an advertisement that she is paid to wear and they haven’t even tried to hide this fact (LIE), utter lack of chemistry (again desperate Abby) , the weirdness with his non-relationship but clear friendship of sorts with his ex co-star (It’s not “weirdness” it’s a nonrelationship-you said it yourself). , the way she is promoted that is beyond excessive for someone who isn’t famous (This entire rant is unhinged. Nobody is promoting her, he’s living his life with her. Like we expect he would with his wife. There is nothing untoward with their behavior together. The fact that you have to label it “promotion” says that it worries you a lot). the fact that the sold their entire wedding to about 100 sponsors )(LIE) (I am sure there are more than we even realize), the clear references to fandom at the sham mockery (OMG Abby, give it up. Nobody cares about you), and that this allegedly private couple also released 85% of their wedding for public consumption (They released 27 photos. That is HARDLY 85% of their wedding. You saw a lot of the same photos posted by their friends and it upset you but they didn’t release 85% of their wedding. It was a 4-day event and the wedding events started at around 3 pm and lasted until after midnight -27 is not 85% of 10-ish hours of celebration).

If it was ONLY that he randomly took his ring off depending on how the wind is blowing, fine, that is evidence alone of nothing. All of these things, and hundred and hundreds of other facts (which are ALL LIES). (inconsistent timelines (Darren doesn’t owe you a “consistent timeline” that’s asinine) they don’t know where they met each other RC handshakes (You know that isn’t a handshake- they were photographed together right before the “handshake’ you won’t let go of and he’s heard introducing her as his girlfriend ), D running from her every moment he can, etc, etc)(Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night), are clear evidence it is fake that is beyond a reasonable doubt (Bwahahahahaha you are conning yourself Abby) . Him kissing her in her bar is his job. I suggest nonnie you pay attention to the details (Which ones- your lies or the real details?) And please pay attention to the captain, he hasn’t even been subtle lately, he has been fairly blatant (Le sigh, he isn’t the captain. He’s a dude who loves his boyfriend Will and writes children’s books that are not cc Bibles) .

Happy Thanksgiving Nonnie! I hope you can tear yourself away from reading blogs you disagree with long enough to enjoy your friends and family! Cheers!

notes-from-nowhere What love are you talking about, anon? M doesn’t love D and she makes this clear every chance she get (LIE- there is nothing that suggests MIa isn’t in love with Darren). Do I have to remind you how she denied to D’s mom one red carpet to celebrate her son? (LIE Abby fabricated) Or to D’s dad to be honored for his military past?(another LIE Abby fabricated) But why listing all of her actions when you know very well this is only the surface.

Btw, I still have to know a singer/actor lost a finger because of a wedding band. Anon, try again, this attempt failed. (SMH)

leka-1998 You know what I like about this instance in particular? Apart from the fact that the ring isn’t off the whole time, he’s still wearing the other one here.

After 284719 years, she should also know what the language D’s mom speaks is called. Seems she doesn’t care enough. (Another LIE that Abby fabricated)

Also, former platonic roomie says hello. (LIE)

ajw720

They still can’t explain away B/enny, the man D just praised for his new album yet D hasn’t even mentioned his brother’s (I can’t explain it but it has nothing to do with Darren and Mia. You’re the one making it a problem) . The man that mocked fandom on his IG by referring to M/oulin R/ouge when posting about the fraud in NOLA (Nobody-especially Ben Hudson- gives a shit about fandom Abby. You’re a nobody) The man who seemingly officiated the wedding (Again a LIE) And the one who appears to have a dog (yes he does, he lives with his girlfriend, Joanna, and their two dogs) . Hey remember just a few weeks ago when PBB dropped her teeth in the dog’s bowl? Funny as we know she and D don’t have a dog (Nope, they clearly don’t- stop trying so hard).…

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minervacasterly · 5 years

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Henry VIII & Catherine of Aragon: Once Upon a Time there was a young handsome man who swore he'd marry a beautiful, destitute royal lady ... their story is often glossed over and considered unimportant but it remains an important chapter in English history, one that sowed the seeds for her intellectual successors, her daughter, the first English queen and her successor. Catherine of Aragon and Henry VIII are the perfect example of a fairy tale gone bad. Their story starts very idyllic. Boy meets girl, promises he will marry her after his older brother dies and like in the promises that couples still make today at weddings, the swears that he will love her until the death. But as it is common with most fairy tales, there is a darker element in the story, one that makes their relationship even sadder. Recent historians have done a great job documented the early years in their relationship, describing how Henry VIII were well-matched and she was often the go-to- person for foreign ambassadors who wanted to see His Majesty's favor. Henry VIII's disillusion with Catherine is the product of his ancestors' dynastic warfare, going all the way back to the Normans and the Angevins. England had been this close to having its first female monarch when Henry I made all of his barons swear allegiance to his remaining legitimate offspring, Matilda who was quickly married to Geoffrey, Count of Anjou and Maine in an effort to secure the Dynasty for him by providing her father with male heirs. Unfortunately, this was not to be. Matilda fought hard against her cousin, the barons' choice and her father's successor, King Stephen, for the English throne but following his son and wife's death, the two of them had no choice but to accept an uneasy truce in which Matilda gave up her claim in her oldest son, Henry FitzEmpress favor. Fast forward to three hundred years later and the country is yet facing another civil war, this time between two other powerful branches of the Plantagenet dynasty. Once again, it was up to a man to put an end to this war through his mother's claim, also using his wife's claim to give legitimacy to their offspring. Giving all that England had to endure for three hundred years, Henry VIII knew that it was up to him to secure the Tudor Dynasty. And the best way to achieve this was by having a male heir -and if possible, a spare, in case the crown heir died. Henry VIII was after all the "spare" and he knew all too well that there were other potential claimants who could easily take advantage of the succession crisis to garner support in the same fashion his father did. In spite of Catherine's miscarriages, Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon still enjoyed a happy existence with Henry still visiting her chambers in the mid 1520s. After she gave birth to Mary, Henry VIII consoled her and told her that just as they had a healthy daughter, they could have a healthy son. One wonders if Anne Boleyn knew what Henry VIII told Catherine after she had given birth to a healthy daughter since those were almost the same words he told her when she gave birth to another healthy princess. In any case, the first years of their lives were purely idyllic. As Amy Licence, author of In Bed With the Tudors, notes in her biography on the six wives of Henry, Six Wives and the Many Mistresses of Henry VIII: "In 1510, Thomas More wrote a poem which he called 'The twelve properties or Conditions of a Lover'. With the happiness of the newlywed royal couple evident to all, More explored the contemporary ideals of amatory behavior, which included fidelity and devotion as well as the more specific examples of dressing, or adorning, oneself for the pleasure of the spouse, being frequently in their company and coveting the lover's praise. It was also essential to 'believe of his love all things excellent, and to desire that all folks should think the same' and 'to serve his love, nothing thinking of any reward or profit'. This accorded with the advice given to Henry in 1501, by his tutor John Kelton, to 'choose a wife for yourself and always love her only'. With Henry soon to adopt the title of 'Sir Loyal Heart', his devotion to Catherine was beyond doubt. Henry had certainly grown into an impressive young man. According to Thomas More's coronation verses, he had 'strength worthy of his regal person' and stood taller than his companions. There was 'fiery power' in his eyes, Venus in his face and 'such colour in his cheeks as is typical of twin roses'. Yet he possessed other skills, too. He was skilled in the physical arts of war, with 'his hand ... as skilled as his heart is brave' with 'the naked sword, or an eager charge with leveled lances, or an arrow aimed to strike a target'. More also described how Henry's virtue 'shone forth from his face' and his countenance bore 'the open message of a good heart'. Wisdom dwelled in his judicious mind and his breast was untroubled; he bore his lost with modest chastity, his gentle hearth was warmed by clemency and his mind far from arrogant. He and his natural gifts had been enhanced by a 'liberal education', with his father's wisdom and his mother's 'kindly strength'. Henry was also Catherine's intellectual equal, having studied the Classics, French, Latin, Italian, theology, modern sciences and composing music, as well as playing upon the flute, virginals and recorder ... This was the man with whom Catherine fell in love. In all things, he seemed to be her perfect match just as she was his. More's praise for the new queen extolled her birth and qualities as qualifiers that made her Henry's true equal ..." Giles Tremlett, Patrick Williams and Julia Fox in their respective biographies of Catherine, were highly descriptive of Catherine's childhood and her education, pointing out that she and her sisters were among the most learned women in Christendom, with their mother, Queen Isabella I of Castile, wishing they'd receive the education that she never had. In addition to being taught about the usual domestic arts which included how to run a household, they also had a Humanist curriculum which included learning about the classics, art, music, dancing, and of course, canon and civic law. After Henry VIII wrote a powerful spiritual tract against Martin Luther, he was given the title "Defender of the faith"; not wishing to be left behind, Catherine also wrote something, although less incendiary, defending the papacy which also earned her the title of defendress of the faith. When Anne Boleyn, then Henry's intended wife, learned that Catherine had been allowed to speak at the Blackfriars trial, she reprimanded Henry, telling him that he should have known the dangers to let her speak since, she was sure to win every time. Bottom line: Henry VIII was prince charming who knew everything there was to know about sports, Humanism and faith, but when it came to winning an argument, Catherine of Aragon was a far superior at being a drama queen. Other interesting curiosities about Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon: 1. While Henry VIII claimed that he married Catherine to fulfilled a "long lost promise" to his dad because he was such a good son, the truth is that nobody bought it and as I suspect, some of you might not either. The truth is that people expected that Henry VIII, unlike his maternal grandfather, Edward IV, would listen to his councilors and marry whomever they'd tell him to aka someone who brought more to the marriage instead of a former widow but like his grandfather, he showed them that he was going to be his own man, subject to no one but his desires. 2. After Richard III and Anne Neville's joint coronation, Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon were the other glorious coronation that symbolized the coming of something new and hopeful. 3. Catherine of Aragon was the FIRST and only one of two Tudor Consorts to be appointed Regent while her husband was away fighting the French. In spite of Henry VIII's meager victory which he called one of the greatest that had ever been achieved, it was Catherine who won a bigger one and secured his throne from any future threats from his Northern neighbor, Scotland. By defeating James IV, King of Scots, Catherine's leadership, left a power vacuum in Scotland which had terrible repercussions for the Stuarts that lasted until Mary, Queen of Scots and sowed the seed for her terrible fate. 4. The similarities between Henry VIII and his maternal grandfather, Edward IV have long been established, but it is not so often that his relationship with Catherine is also paralleled with that of Edward and Elizabeth Woodville. Just like Elizabeth was a widow and five years and a half older than Edward, so was Catherine, five years and a half older to Henry VIII. History does repeat itself sometimes doesn't it? ;) It's a shame that Catherine and her beloved daughter didn't have a happier ending. 5. In her biography on Isabella I of Castile, Kirstin Downey says that out of all her daughters, Catherine of Aragon was the one who inherited her countenance. And while I am no fan of Feminist Karen Lindsey's short biography on the six wives, she is right when she wrote that had Catherine had been born a boy, Spain would have had one of its greatest Kings. 6. Catherine of Aragon was the first Female Royal Ambassador in Western Europe! While Catherine and her mother were very similar, she could also be as conniving and deceptive as her father. In fact, knowing that there was no other best person he could trust than his youngest daughter at a time when her future seemed uncertain and war was once again brewing in Spain over who'd control Castile, Ferdinand II of Aragon appointed her his Ambassador. 7. She set the stage for other learned women, including Queen Catherine Parr! Like Margaret Beaufort and Elizabeth Woodville's family who sponsored many renowned religious scholars, Catherine sponsored artists and humanists as well but she took a step further, inspiring other women to get an education for themselves and their daughters, one of those women was Maud Parr whose daughter was possibly named in her honor. She became Henry VIII's last wife and the second and last Tudor consort to also be named his regent, once again when he was away fighting the French. In his book on the education of Christian princes and women's intelligence, Juan Luis Vives, dedicated his texts to her, calling her a role model for all women. 8. Defendress of the Faith: As previously stated, besides Henry VIII writing an incendiary tract against Luther in support of the Catholic faith; Catherine also wrote her own defense which earned her the unofficial title of defendress of the faith. 9. Gentle, sweet but strong as her lady mother and pragmatic as her father: Appearances can be VERY deceiving. This is certainly true when it comes to Catherine of Aragon. She appeared sweet and meek on the outside but get into a verbal row with her, you were sure to end up being devoured! Not only that, this was a woman who had been witnessed to her parents' conquest. She was a child when she saw the way her mother inspected her troops and how her father played coy with the politicians, saying one thing but doing another behind their backs. During her regency, after she had received news of King James IV of Scots' demise, she coldly inquired as to why she was not being shown his body. They told her that it would be too much to send his body to His Majesty; something she didn't look too kindly upon. So she had no choice but to settle for his bloody cape, sending it to her husband as "proof" of her victory which she attributed to him. This just shows you that besides being a good politician, she was like her father, tough as nails. And like him, she was subtle but deadly in her letters. When she found out that the pope had not yet reached a decision about her marriage, she told Charles about it and told him to hurry up and exert more pressure on the pope. When -in her view- Charles wasn't doing enough to help her cause, she put pressure on Chapuys and finally on the pope himself, daring to questioning his commitment to the Catholic faith. Talk about audacity! 10. A Woman for all Seasons: Besides being praised by her allies, she was also praised by her religious enemies, including Luther who greatly admired her and like Juan Luis Vives and Thomas More, considered her a good role model for women and was deeply saddened by her death. 11. The longest Tudor marriage: Out of all the Tudor unions, including Henry VIII's parents, it was Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon's union that lasted the longest. Twenty four years! (More if you don't count parliament's ruling) Additional sources: There is one good book that gives a possible explanation into Henry VIII's degeneracy; it is by Kyra Cornelius Kramer and it is called "Blood Will Tell". The first chapters go deep into Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon's relationship, as well as their education. Other books I have found very useful when it comes to this topic are Catherine of Aragon by Garrett Mattingly, Six Wives, the Queens of Henry VIII by David Starkey and Wives of Henry VIII by Antonia Fraser.

#katherine of aragon #tudors #history #henry viii

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hencethebravery · 5 years

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TITLE: First Family (1/1)

SUMMARY: It's not as if Killian Jones believes his husband to be incapable of winning the presidency (quite the opposite, actually)─he's just not entirely certain he wants him to. A CC 2020 Election AU. (Ao3)

NOTES: This particular story is meant to be entirely cute and in celebration of the prospect of having a “First Gentleman” (see recent Time magazine cover). It is not at all meant to be an endorsement of any one candidate, and if you come at me with anything other than love for these two boys and their dog, I will unhinge my jaw and swallow you whole. I developed Jasmine’s last name from a princess who appeared in The Book of One Thousand and One Nights (on whom Jasmine is based, or so Wikipedia tells me). Oh, and another small disclaimer, this is the first time I’ve included Emma Swan in a Captain Charming fic. For whatever reason I used to struggle with including her, but I guess I’m over it because she’s here now. If you think that’ll bother you then give this one a miss!

If the chronically thin, awkward, and punk-ass 15 year old version of Killian Jones could have, somehow, opened a portal in time and space; a feat which might have allowed him to peer into the future in an attempt to witness what the future might hold, he would have likely imbibed several ill-advised shots of cheap bloody rum, and then quite dramatically flung himself atop the rumpled sheets of his perpetually unmade bed. If the younger Jones had even an inkling of the type of life he’d be living as a 35 year old man─with a full time job, a mortgage, a husband, one wildly photogenic dog─he would have done everything in his power to steer himself off such a disturbingly clean-cut, well-behaved course.

“Well and truly boring I’ve become, isn’t that right my love?”

Dave, the husband in question, sat comfortably in his usual corner of the couch, reading glasses perched at the end of his nose, putzing about on their shared iPad, paying less and less attention by the minute, “Oh, absolutely. Can’t stand you.”

The only reason he brings it up at all is because he has, somewhat unexpectedly, been rather unsettled by the prospect of a life change so massive, he has had no other choice but to reconcile with the fact that the quiet life he has managed to build for himself could, quite likely, be completely destroyed. Forever. Never to be found again. Relegated only to a memory that he’ll return to in his twilight years, a decrepit old thing. “Ah yes,” he would mumble, smacking his lips together in that way the elderly tend to do, “I remember when you could watch an entire 48 hours of television, totally unbothered!”

It’s not as if he legitimately wants to keep his husband, arguably the love his life, from doing what he’s meant to, and clearly, the man’s meant for greatness, but Killian has become accustomed to a certain standard of living. He likes (much to his younger self’s hypothetical horror) doing the same things everyday─up with the sun, cup of coffee, walk the dog, go to school, come home, make dinner, watch Netflix, go to bed. He likes weekend drives to the country; hikes in the morning, beers in the afternoon. He enjoys the calm, safe predictability of his life that he has so miraculously found in the wake of a rather tumultuous, traumatic youth.

“Killian,” David insisted gently, “you’re my husband. Obviously, if you don’t want me to do this, I won’t do it.”

The maddening part is that he knows with absolute certainty that he’s telling the truth. David Nolan wasn’t the resentful type─it was something he both simultaneously loved and hated about the man.

“I swear, darling, the last thing I want to do is hold you back,” Killian replied, frustrated with his own lack of enthusiasm, “I just…”

“...It’s a big change,” David finished, “I know. Honestly,” he continued, “I probably won’t even win.”

“Sure,” Killian scoffed, a smirk on his face, “that’s exactly what you said last time.”

5 Y E A R S E A R L I E R

“I JUST THINK IT’S FUNNY!” Killian yells over the deafening cheers, one arm slung round Dave’s shoulders, the other waving wildly in the air.

“WHAT?” David shouts back, his mouth turned upwards in a somewhat manic, and what was fast becoming alarmingly permanent, grin.

“IT’S FUNNY!” he repeats, the volume of his voice doing little to bely the patience in his tone. He finds a few of their friends’ faces in the crowd and blows them a kiss, his cheeks starting to hurt with the force and breadth of his own smile.

“WHAT IS?”

Killian couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the absurdity of their attempting to hold a conversation at all at a time like this, but he’d never been one to keep from saying, “I told you so,” when the opportunity presented itself. That said, it was quite the ruckus, and he had simply shaken his head in surrender, silently promising to rub it in at a later date.

To be fair to David’s humility, a mayoral race and a presidential race are two vastly different undertakings, particularly when the mayoral position in question involved a municipality of around 100,000 people, which while a large enough amount, was quite small in comparison to the rest of the country. But at the same time, given what Killian knew about his husband, he had a hard time believing that the rest of the country wouldn’t be able to see what he saw─if they were able to get past the “First Gentleman” of it all, that is.

Killian would be lying if he said he didn’t have something of a pessimistic streak. Certainly, it had grown quieter over the years, especially since meeting David (and his subsequent election to political office in a small midwestern city), but the presidential election of about 3 years prior, coupled with the many national tragedies and constitutional crises, had “awoken the dragon,” so to speak.

“You’ve been watching way too much ‘Game of Thrones.’”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

David and Killian had agreed from the very start─whomever ran in 2020 would have to be and do more than the average candidate. The only way to remind the country and the world of who they really were as a nation was to commit a complete and total act of repudiation with a substantive majority vote.

“You know everyone and their mom is gonna run,” Emma Swan, David’s campaign manager, had joked in the weeks following the 2016 election, after all of their emotional wounds had felt somewhat soothed. Alcohol helped.

“Ah, yes,” Killian agreed, taking a sip of whiskey, “I can feel the splitting migraine already.”

Looking back, David’s silence in that moment had been suspicious, and if he and Emma hadn’t gotten absolutely wrecked in preparation for an upcoming election cycle that would inevitably last what would feel like a decade, he would have prodded a bit further. In fact, if he had prodded, maybe he wouldn’t be so woefully unprepared for the, “I’m thinking of running for President of the United States,” conversation.

Immediately before the panic had set in, what he had actually felt was pride. Regretfully however, panic will-out, and in the midst of his initial tittering he forgot to effectively relay that initial emotion, which was for David he was sure, far more preferable.

In the early stages of the mayoral race, Emma had been adamant on the point of storytelling. According to her, elections were won and lost on a candidate’s ability to tell a story─about themselves, their campaign, their vision for the community─and if David was going to run, an openly gay man (albeit white as they come) from a working class background with little name recognition, the story he told would have to be good. Thankfully there was the military record, that usually played well with an older, more conservative crowd, and it wasn’t as if he was a stranger to hard work─the necessity of family, community, the like. He’d lived there his whole life, people knew who he was, however… unfamiliar they were with his “lifestyle.”

Killian had been far more concerned about himself being one of the factors that could lose Dave the race. The two of them had yet to be married at the time, despite having lived together for several years, and while Killian had lived in America for much of his adulthood, he hadn’t been born there. He was also openly bisexual, had a mostly benign criminal record, and had gotten into his share of fairly public tiffs with some less... "progressive" members of their community. One of them had even been filmed─and gone viral.

“Aren’t you the least bit worried about dragging that all back up again?” Killian had asked during their first informal meeting with Emma. The kind of discussion that started with things like, "We're not having this conversation, but if we were," etc., etc.

“After this President?” Emma scoffed, a gleam in her eye, “It’ll only help.”

Killian should’ve guessed, after seeing David’s quick, knowing glance, that he’d been found out. That it wasn’t the loss of their current lives that he truly fretted over; his inability to walk down the street unmolested, but rather a deep-seated worry of his own value as a partner. He worried, as he had during Dave’s first campaign, that he would only weigh him down.

At some point in the near future, some invasive young journalist is going to ask Killian about the spousal sacrifices. They’re going to want to know, as the spouse of the first openly gay presidential candidate, what do you anticipate giving up? And how, if at all, has he made peace with their new reality? In point of fact, the first concession that Killian had made (up until the whole, “running for leader of the free world,” business that is) was his surrender of the coast.

Killian had never really had roots─there was never a physical home with four walls and a roof overhead to which he could depart and return, over and over again. It could never even be said that he had any people to which he might turn instead; he had a brother, Liam, but they’d never been particularly close, and their history was tense at best and outright antagonistic at worst. All this to say, it was part of the reason why he had given Her up (the sea). Because Dave, most curiously, would become his home in a way he had never thought possible. It was how he was able to make a compromise─to go without the sight of the waves lapping against the rocks in favor of a large, wraparound porch, with some admittedly stunning views of the trees and hills that surrounded their home.

It was where he happened to be sitting the morning after their first casual, "meeting but not a meeting," with Emma; a mug of cooling coffee in his hand, watching Sally sniffing to and fro in the damp grass. It was an otherwise normal morning aside from the impending dose of reality he had yet to fully face. He was in the midst of a perfectly somber and on brand bit of mindless staring when he heard the quiet rumbling of Dave’s early morning voice (a personal favorite of his).

“Hey,” he said, startling Killian out of his ironically stressful meditations. “Sorry,” he said with a laugh, taking a seat beside him on the porch swing, “I didn’t feel you get up this morning.”

“My apologies, love,” Killian answered with a brief kiss, “I didn’t want to wake you.”

There was no crying of gulls, and you couldn’t taste a hint of salt on your lips, but there was still the pleasant chirping of birds; the sight of the sun peeking over the tops of the trees, the heady smell of blooming flowers. Killian cleared his throat, both knowing and dreading the conversation he could no longer avoid.

“You have never,” David began, very astutely avoiding his husband’s nervous glances for the moment, “been something to be ashamed of.”

“For you to even think it,” he continued, giving a slight shake of his head, “I must be doing something wrong.”

“Dave, no─”

“Killian,” he interrupted, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “you are the person I admire most in the world. You are the exact kind of person this country needs to see right now.”

A bit dramatic, Killian thought, desperately attempting to quell the violent beating of his own heart. Despite having known David for as long as he did, he was still somewhat overwhelmed by the sheer goodness of him. Having spent so long himself in a place of defensive cynicism, it was still a challenge to be so unabashedly confronted by such unrelenting hope. That’s what the country needs.

“I know it took us both a long time to make it…” He pauses, glancing up at the trees, the dog now slumbering at their feet, “here, but─”

“I couldn’t possibly adore you more than I already do,” Killian finished, abandoning his cold coffee in favor of framing David’s flushed face, “and I will be there every step of the way.”

“‘For better or for worse,’ blah, blah, blah?”

“Yes,” Killian laughed, pressing their lips together, “something like that.”

The secret? Say “yes,” to fucking everything. That seems to be the fundamental step when you have absolutely zero name recognition and you’re under the age of 75. It’s Emma’s first rule, and she fanatically demands that they abide by it unless she says otherwise. “Let’s let the paint dry on Fox for a hot second,” she suggests after Killian exclaims, “Surely not everything.”

But she damn well means enough. Everything from small, independent news blogs run by journalists, to “serious” news media, to BuzzFeed, and everything in between.

“One of these things is going to just,” she snaps her fingers. “And then it’s all over, boys.”

It’s during an interview with a fairly well known political podcast that really sets them on that, “nothing will be the same after this,” trajectory. He’d essentially been laughed out of the room until he sat down at a table with one of the unnecessarily handsome, affable hosts and dropped stat, after stat, after quip, after poignant observation─after some light hearted jokes that proved he wasn’t living in the dark ages.

“And I hate to ask this,” the host began, the hesitancy evident in his voice, “but what do you say to people who argue that you just don’t have enough experience for the job?”

After a brief pause, during which Killian could observe the wheels spinning from where he sat quietly in the corner of the room, David spoke. In that way he always had of speaking. That way that could convince anyone to listen to what he had to say.

“To that I think I would consider the importance of humility,” a chuckle, “I never want to be one of those people that believes they have nothing left to learn, but at the same time, to claim I have, ya know, ‘no experience,’ whether that’s because of my age, or the size of my city, is just… I don’t know, disingenuous?”

The host laughs a bit at that, “You mean to say, what precisely is their ‘concern?’”

“Yeah, I mean, we knew going into this we might create a few… waves─I don't know if you were aware, but, I am in fact very attracted to other men."

They left the sound of Killian’s obnoxious and embarrassing snort in the recording, which actually ended up being a good thing. Positive polling based on the sound of incredulity? It was strange, the small details that people seemed to cling to.

“But seriously, and this is what I believe, is that the individual experiences of every single person living in this country makes them… invaluable to understanding how it should,” he shakes his head, searching for the right word, “...exist, or be run. So, these people who are concerned about my experience, it’s not a lie for them to say that I haven’t worked at the federal level, or that I haven’t run a federal agency or served in Congress, but my experiences are valuable, my identity is valuable, and I think it’s something the people of this country deserve to see. Even if I’m not the one they choose.”

The tension at the back of Killian’s throat made swallowing a tad painful, but he had to do something to stop himself from crying, which would be… regrettable (although, once the polling had come out about the snort, maybe it wouldn’t have been such a bad thing after all). Crying in front of all these cool, young politicos. But at that moment, at the close of his husband’s small speech, the hopeful grin on the face of the host, the other people in the room─hell, even Emma’s radiant expression, he locked eyes with David and he knew. Snap.

First Family

Mayor David Nolan and the Rebranding of Hope

May 2, 2019

by Jasmine Badur

“I’m not sure I truly believed in ‘hope’ before I met him,” Killian Jones, the potentially first, “First Gentleman,” had somewhat reluctantly revealed in one of our early conversations. “I don’t think I necessarily knew I didn’t at the time,” he paused, giving his ear a nervous tug, “but once I got to know him… I certainly seemed to understand what it was I’d been missing.”

I was invited out to the Jones-Nolan household by Mayor Nolan’s campaign manager, Ms. Emma Swan, a woman who has proven herself to be quite formidable in our current political landscape. “If you really want to know him, them,” she had insisted during one of our many phone calls, “you’ve gotta see them where they live.”

And so, here I am, on a warm, sunny day, greeted by the pleasant sight of a rather long, winding driveway lined with tall, leaf-laden trees. The house itself is also surrounded by quite a bit of lush greenery, which, as Killian explained, was purposeful. Apparently the two men value their privacy, which is pretty ironic, considering.

“Yes, yes, I know,” he answered, unprovoked, “pretty bloody funny.”

The couple’s dog, Sally, runs down the porch steps as I exit my car, and I can hear Mayor Nolan call her name from inside the house. Despite the somewhat grandiose nature of the extended driveway, the house itself is modest, with little in the way of fuss. Both men greet me at the door, and I’m immediately offered a drink or a snack by the Mayor himself.

“He’s worse than my grandmother,” Ms. Swan half shouts from another room, after which David (“Please, call me David”) huffs and playfully rolls his eyes. “We’re like a family here,” he explains, leading me into their warm, sun-drenched kitchen, “I don’t think I know any other way to do this, to be honest.”

“This,” of course, being the campaign. The reason I’ve shown up here at all, to share this historical candidacy with a country that has proven to be far more interested than David expected it to be.

“The truth is, no,” he admitted over our tea, “I didn’t really expect this.”

A turn about the house reveals a number of familiar sights─a mix of running shoes and formalwear lined up by the door, coats on their hooks, framed photos on the mantle or hanging on the fridge. I note a young Emma in a number of these photos, to which David confirms their personal history, that of being pseudo-siblings, which most people are tangentially aware of, but the way David explains, it has a lot more to do with his campaign than you might think.

Soon after Emma Swan had moved to town to live with her aforementioned grandmother, she had met David at school, and the two quickly became inseparable.

“My grandma was a sweet lady,” Emma had shared, albeit reluctantly, “but she was pretty old. Not really prepared to have a young kid. David and his mom became my family, more or less.” When I’ve spoken to others who knew the Nolans, the stories seem to follow a similar thread. It was nearly impossible to know them and not be treated as if they had known you your entire life.

“That was what my mother believed,” David says, a resolute smile on his face, “everyone deserves to have a family.”

It might seem an unusual tactic for the candidate to take, but having spoken with Emma Swan, and having spent time with David and Killian in their home, I’m not so sure the harsher criticisms are especially valid.

“He’s a bit inclined to picking up strays, isn’t he?” Killian starts, politely if not vaguely uncomfortable. The two of us are walking through the field behind their house, and truly, it is a beautiful piece of land. “And what are we all,” he finishes, somewhat distantly, “if not a country of wanderers?"

Most people have a general understanding of Killian’s background. Born in London to an absent single mother who passed when he was about 17, a brother serving in the Royal Navy; teaches literature, unreasonably handsome, perhaps inclined to appear in viral videos─“Surprised you lasted this long,” he says, laughing. “Haven’t you lot gotten sick of that story yet?”

Unfortunately for Killian, though somewhat fortuitously for the campaign, that now famous clip, of the man in question throwing an unequivocal fist into the cheekbone of a far-right activist, has earned him some degree of popularity in progressive circles, though he contends he had absolutely no plans for such an outcome.

“It was satisfying before the entire country knew about it,” he concludes, with a blend of both seriousness and charm that can be challenging for most people to pull off. “And I’d do it again in a bloody heartbeat.”

“God bless Killian Jones,” Emma had sighed when I’d first mentioned it to her, “that man’s righteous anger could be the thing that gets us elected.”

Killian himself isn’t quite ready to admit that, but he is glad to help his husband in anyway he can, even at the expense of his own anonymity. Which, he did admit, was a serious concern at first.

“We’d spent so many years searching for this,” he explained, glancing pointedly at our surroundings, the sight of their now smoking chimney peeking over the tops of the trees. “I wasn’t sure I was ready to give it up.”

But now, he says, the doubts seem to have all but faded.

“There’s always moments of insecurity, sure,” he admits, “but I think it’s worth it.”

The Nolan-Jones household is cluttered─but not in a way that might leave you feeling suspicious of their character. True, it’s cluttered in a way you might not presume a presidential candidate’s house to be. Maybe you would consider the “right candidate,” to be so obnoxiously Type A that their home be something akin to a serial killer’s lair. If that is what you were expecting, I am sorry to say that his house is very much not that. This house is cluttered in a way that our lives create clutter. Like their "family-oriented" campaign style, the ordinariness of their home and their lives prior to this event, reveals quite a bit more than you might think. We exist in a day and age seemingly obsessed with the idea of authenticity, and while I've grown to despise the word, it seems to have been given new life here, even though their kitchen did happen to smell of freshly baked cookies during my visit.

At the end of the day, no one knows how this campaign is going to shake out. Politics have never been predictable, no matter what many pundits and strategists claim, but if there’s one thing we might always learn to expect, it is that "electability" is a true falsehood. I don’t know if Mayor David Nolan will become the first openly gay President of the United States, and neither does he, but that doesn’t seem to be the point.

“It may seem trite to some, but it is about hope,” David said in the few moments before I left, hands resting in his pockets, his gaze tired yet contented, “I think our 44th president had that part right.”

In an era of such unrelenting cynicism, it can be difficult to find the silver lining of it all, but as I drove back down the long, winding driveway in the moonlight, the sight of Killian Jones and David Nolan waving in my rearview mirror, my heart felt a little less heavy.

Jasmine Badur is a freelance political correspondent with Time, BuzzFeed News, and others. She is currently on the road following a number of Democratic candidates running for President, including Mayor David Nolan. She can be found on Twitter @badurjofficial.

#ouat ff #cc ff #cc fanfic #captain charming friday #captain charming #cc: saved my life #@hencethewriter #would ya look at that #i've managed to produce #more captain charming #and it's topical

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suresh4324234 · 5 years

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Wishes for Happy Wedding/Marriage

We've been there: You shop long and elusive the ideal wedding card for the prospective wedded couple and after that you return home and have a quite harsh time making sense of what to write in it. The uplifting news is, there are no rigid guidelines about what to write in a wedding card. For whatever length of time that your wedding congrats message is genuine and offers the couple a positive wish for their marriage, you're ready.

Wedding Card Manners 101

It ought to nearly abandon saying that wedding cards are standard for any individual who needs to send wedding wishes to a drew in or recently hitched couple. In case you're following customary wedding visitor decorum, you'll either need to convey the card to the wedding gathering or mail it legitimately to the couple (normally between the time you get the wedding welcome and half a month after the wedding). Truly however, you can send it at whatever point you need. You could even send a decent card if the wedding is little and you're not welcomed. Basically: Wedding congrats are welcome whenever by anybody!

Concerning the card itself, wedding cards come in heaps of various configurations—from standard welcome cards you find at a charming stationery shop to custom made cards, little labels appended to endowments and even basic, carefully made wedding messages that are printed and transported to the couple with their blessing. The majority of the above go as a wedding card and are viewed as alright, so don't want to have mutiple. (On the other hand, on the off chance that you paid a blessing off the couple's vault and need them to likewise have a pretty card from you, take one to the gathering and drop it in a wedding card box or on a blessing table!)

Is It Alright to Compose the Expression "Congrats?"

So, yes. All things considered, it used to state or expressing "congrats" to a recently hitched lady was once viewed as a violation of social norms since it was thought of as complimenting her on really getting a man! (That's right, you read that right.) Today however, that is viewed as an obsolete guideline and school of thought. All things considered, if the couple happens to be customary or originated from a conventional family, you should need to stay away from the term inside and out and simply state "all the best."

What to Write in a Wedding Card

The ideal wedding wish is nostalgic, sweet and completely custom fitted to the couple. Is it for your most loved cousin and his new spouse? Or on the other hand your silly school flat mate who at long last settled down? The following are many instances of wedding wishes cites for motivation. Utilize the speedy connections underneath to create an astonishing (virtuoso!) wedding message:

what to write in a wedding card - formal

what to write in a wedding card - easygoing

what to write in a wedding card - amusing

what to write in a wedding card - religious

what to write in a wedding card - family

what to write in a wedding card - kin

what to write in a wedding card - child or little girl

what to write in a wedding card - companion

what to write in a wedding card - collaborator

what to write in a wedding card - parent

Formal Wedding Wishes

Because it's a formal wedding with floor-length dresses and tuxes doesn't mean you need to send a formal card with stuffy wording. (The card doesn't need to consummately coordinate the occasion.) Still, on the off chance that you need to compose a decent message that is ageless and sentimental, a formal note is the best approach.

Precedents:

"Wishing you a lifetime of affection and bliss."

"Your big day will go back and forth, yet may your affection always develop."

"All the best on this brilliant voyage, as you fabricate your new lives together."

"May the years ahead be loaded up with enduring satisfaction."

"May the adoration you share today become more grounded as you develop old together."

"May your alliance bring you more satisfaction than you can envision."

"May today be the start of a long, cheerful coexistence."

"Much thanks to you for letting us/me share in this upbeat day. We/I want you to enjoy all that life has to offer as you leave on this awesome association."

"Wishing you delight, love and bliss on your big day and as you start your new coexistence."

"May the adoration and satisfaction you feel today radiate as the years progressed."

Easygoing Wedding Wishes

On the off chance that you don't feel great with formal wedding truisms, at that point don't do it. Act naturally. It's totally fine to compose an increasingly easygoing wedding message in the card, regardless of the beneficiary. Put it along these lines: Straightforward is in every case fine, insofar as you're stating something pleasant or including a desire for the couple's future.

Precedents:

"All the best!"

"Congrats!"

"Congrats on your wedding!"

"We're/I'm so cheerful for you!"

"Wishing you bunches of affection and bliss."

"We/I cherish you. Well done!"

"Bunches of affection today and past."

"Here's a touch of something to begin your coexistence." (In case you're including a blessing.)

"Much love."

"Wishing you a long and cheerful marriage."

"Here's to a long and cheerful marriage!"

"Wishing you the best today and dependably."

"So cheerful to commend this day with you both!"

"All the best for an exciting future together."

Amusing Wedding Wishes

Feel free to compose something interesting in the card that you think will make them snicker. Simply be cautious with your marriage wishes. What may effortlessly appear to be a joke in discussion could be misinterpreted on paper. As a standard guideline, maintain a strategic distance from jokes that are mocking or snarky. Likewise untouchable? Avoid whatever could be viewed as annoying, infer that one of them is the "better half" or notice anything about it having taken excessively long (or too brief period) to get hitched. Gracious, and no separation jokes!

Models:

"As Bill and Ted stated, 'Be brilliant to one another.'"

"A debt of gratitude is in order for welcoming us to eat and drink while you get hitched. Well done!"

"Wishing you heaps of adoration—and bunches of cosmetics sex!" (If this is suitable given your association with the couple.)

"Our marriage exhortation: Love, respect and… clean the latrine." (Or fill in some other amusing guidance you have.)

"Love is all you need… stay with that poop and you'll do extraordinary!" (If this is suitable given your association with the couple.)

"Treat marriage like a hockey match-up. No roughing!"

"A debt of gratitude is in order for the free liquor. All the best on a long, glad marriage!"

"Getting hitched resembles going to show school. May there be more parody than acting."

Religious Wedding Wishes

In the event that the couple is religious, at that point this may be the best choice. Religious wedding card messages can specify God, let them know of your petitions or statement sacred writing. Before composing a religious message in a wedding card, think about the couple's convictions and rehearses, and tweak the message to them. In the event that they aren't excessively religious or don't adore routinely, something exceptionally religious could make them awkward, so it's be ideal to tone down religious components or maintain a strategic distance from them by and large. Furthermore, in case you're uncertain of what religious message to compose, settle on increasingly broad wedding words.

Christian Precedents:

"May God favor you and your association."

"May God allow all of you of life's endowments and love's delights."

"Sending you supplications for unending adoration and joy."

"God favor you both on this day with a lifetime of shared love and satisfaction."

"May the Person who united you favor your marriage, advance your lives and extend your adoration consistently."

" 'God has emptied out His affection into our souls.' – Romans 5:5"

" 'Love is quiet. Love is caring… Love never comes up short.' – 1 Corinthians 13:4-13"

Jewish Models:

"Mazel Tov! May the delight that is yours today dependably fill your life."

" 'I am my darling's and my cherished is mine.' – Shir Ha'Shirim/Tune of Melodies 6:3" Or " 'Ani L'Dodi, v'Dodi Li.' – Shir Ha'Shirim/Tune of Tunes 6:3"

"May you be honored."

"Mazel Tov on your wedding!" or "Mazel Tov on your marriage!"

Wedding Wants for a Relative

When composing a wedding card for family, you can go general or exceptionally close to home—it's totally up to you and the kind of message you need to pass on.

Models:

"Congrats on your marriage, and welcome to the family!"

"We are/I am so glad to respect another relative. All the best to you both!"

"We're/I'm so cheerful [name] has discovered 'the one.' Welcome to the family!"

"We're pleased to impart this day to you both."

"What a magnificent day for our family, and particularly both of you. May the delight you feel today endure forever."

"Today, we add one more part to our family, and we couldn't be more joyful. All the best to you both."

"What an awesome expansion to our family. We're/I'm so glad to partake in your festival. Congrats!"

"We/I couldn't be more joyful to call you both family. All the best for a long and upbeat future together."

"We/I cherish you both. A debt of gratitude is in order for giving us a chance to partake in your festival!"

"Congratulations! Love and embraces."

Wedding Wants for Your Sister or Sibling and Sister-in-Law or Brother by marriage

So you're composing a message on your sibling's or sister's wedding card? The key here is identity. At times, kin connections are stressed, in which case you should need to go general. Be that as it may, all the more frequently, your sibling or sister is the individual whom you know best, to whom you can make inside jokes or review a portion of your most loved minutes together. Simply make sure to make reference to the new life partner in your note!

Precedents:

"It appears as though yesterday we were playing 'house' in the patio, and now you get the opportunity to do it, in actuality. I couldn't be more joyful for you both. Congrats!"

"I constantly needed a sibling/sister and now I get one. Congrats to you both on discovering each other."

"All the best to my closest companion and sister/sibling and new sister/sibling as you begin your coexistence."

"We/I adore you both. Today I gain another kin and I couldn't be more joyful!"

"Heaps of affection and bliss to you both on this energizing and euphoric day for our family."

"Keep in mind when you made that rundown of characteristics of an 'immaculate man/lady?' Well, you discovered him/her. Loads of affection now and dependably."

"Bunches of adoration to the best sister/sibling in the entire world and her/his new accomplice forever. May you have a marriage brimming with affection.

Lets More...

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killthebxy-archive · 6 years

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1. being bastard born in Westeros

let me start with a simple but crucial point: Westeros is a medieval society --- which means it is traditional and built on strong patriarchal foundations, for the most part. Westeros is a racist, sexist, ableist society. and, in Westeros, and especially among the highborn, it is very rare that you will marry for love. if you are highborn, you will marry someone of similar status based on some benefit that this alliance will bring to your parents/ family/ house. if you’re lucky, you will eventually learn to love your spouse, but that is not a requirement --- what is expected of you is to have strong sons (preferably, that the firstborn is a boy) and beautiful daughters to continue your legacy. and you are expected to fulfill this goal together with the lord husband/ lady wife so carefully picked for you.

what does being bastard born mean? simply put, it means your parents are not married. it means either you were conceived before your parents got married (either to each other or to another person), or that you were conceived through adultery (consensual or not). and, let’s be real, six of the seven kingdoms, Dorne being the exception, do not regard illegitimate children in a positive light. being bastard born, based on what i wrote before, means you were born from lust and/or from betrayal, and this, in this society, immediately implies you have bad blood. it immediately implies that a baby still in the mother’s womb is already expected to grow up to be wanton, treacherous, cunning, ambitious.

this may not seem obvious but, in a way, being a highborn bastard is more difficult than being a lowborn one. one the one hand, it is rare that the illegitimate child of a big (or even smaller) House of Westeros will be allowed to live with their family, or even to be acknowledged at all. for example, out of all the bastards Robert Baratheon fathered, only Edric Storm and Mya Stone are directly linked to his name. Ned Stark is a rare exception in this case, for raising Jon Snow as his own son. note: for the purpose of this meta, i am assuming what we know from book canon up until the end of ADWD: Jon is the child of Ned and an unknown woman. i will speak of Rhaegar Targaryen further on, but this is the assumption of this whole piece of text.

for this reason, highborn bastards are also seen as a much bigger threat. why? because it is common belief that they will try and steal what belongs to the legitimate children by birthright. again, because they are seen as inherently envious and treacherous. GRRM provides some tales throughout the books, of bloodshed between half-siblings for the sake of power, and Ramsay Snow/ Bolton emerges as prime example of such --- stopping at nothing to earn himself a legitimate name, first, and then the ruling of House Bolton + Winterfell.

2. Jon Snow as a bastard child

no surprises, everything i just mentioned is valid in Jon’s case. Catelyn Stark herself worries that Jon will be a threat to her children, and, for example, argues with Robb when it is his will to make Jon the new King in the North, should Robb himself fall in battle. and this is important to mention for two motives. one, because Cat doesn’t despise Jon for his personality or character traits or any possible flaws --- she despises him for the symbol he is. and we are presented with evidence that she resents herself for being this way, for being unable to love a motherless child, but the very negative connotation of Jon’s birth and everything it entails make it impossible for her to treat him differently. and it doesn’t help that Jon is always described as the spitting image of Ned Stark (or the Starks in general), while her own legitimate children (Arya being the exception) have 100% the Tully looks.

and, before i get to the second motive, let me point this out. have you wondered why Jon hates to be called Lord Snow, once he arrives at Castle Black? it may seem odd, because, objectively, it is a respectful title --- Jon is technically highborn, and Snow is his last name. however, the negative stigma of being bastard born is, exactly, why this title is both used and taken as mockery. because a bastard has no right to inherit anything --- therefore, has no right to be a lord unless legitimized. treating Jon as Lord Snow is actually incredibly cruel, because it is both throwing on his face something he can never have (i.e., Lord), and, at the same time, the reason for it (i.e., Snow, the name given to the bastards of the North). and this is so prevalent that it keeps happening even after Jon is elected to be lord commander, as we can clearly see in the discourse of Janos Slynt and Godry Farring, for example. even Ramsay, after becoming a Bolton, is still often described/ regarded under the light of his birth. being bastard born is something that accompanies you for life, almost always in a negative manner, and there is very little (if anything) you can do to distance your own identity from it. for the most part and for most people in Westeros, you don’t exist as Jon Snow --- you exist as Ned Stark’s bastard.

3. internalization of the stigma

everything above brings me to the core of this meta: the impact that being bastard born has on Jon’s identity/ personality/ psychological functioning. and, to start this, i could pick half a hundred quotes from Jon’s chapters, but i’ll pick one that particularly speaks to me:

they still think me a turncloak. that was a bitter draft to drink, but Jon could not blame them. he was a bastard, after all. everyone knew that bastards were wanton and treacherous by nature, having been born of lust and deceit.

A Storm of Swords --- Blood and Gold, pp.171

this isn’t anyone talking about Jon; this isn’t Alliser Thorne of Janos Slynt or Cregan Karstark calling him the bastard son of a traitor --- this is Jon speaking of himself. this is Jon describing himself as a bastard and everything it entails, to the point where he cannot even bring himself to blame others for mistrusting him --- because it is to be expected, because it is his own fault for being bastard born. this isn’t the first time in the books such an appreciation is found, we can already see similar introspection in the first half of the first book. Jon has entirely internalized the stigma of being bastard born. now, from the ever-helpful Wikipedia:

social stigma: disapproval of (or discontent with) a person based on socially characteristic grounds that are perceived, and serve to distinguish them, from other members of a society.

internalization: involves the integration of attitudes, values, standards and the opinions of others into one's own identity or sense of self.

basically, what this means is that Jon sees himself, whilst a bastard, the same way society does. it means that he was taught what being bastard born means (all the negative connotations i wrote before), and he’s accepted this as being true in regards to himself. he seems himself as different, for being bastard born, and he sees himself as lesser. and this doesn’t happen at Castle Black, where he starts being mocked as Lord Snow. this has started before he was even born, because he’s not seen as a baby but as the proof that even the honorable Eddard Stark once screwed up, and this continued throughout his childhood and early teen years, when he was raised and educated like the rest of Ned’s children but, at the same time, was ever made to know his place and that he was different --- that he was below them. for example, how he’s not allowed to sit at the dais together with his family when King Robert’s court visits Winterfell, because such a thing could cause offense to the royal family. as curiosity, reminder that, in the books, this is exactly the reason Jon gives to Mance Rayder to convince him that he was a desertor: did you see where i was sitting, Mance?

what is this impact on Jon’s functioning then? first and foremost, it means he tends to see himself in a negative regard. during his first chapters, like when he firstly arrives at Castle Black, he tries to externalize this burden. he’s cocky and he’s immature and he acts on his short temper and makes every other new recruit hate him. why? because he so much wants to prove (to them, to Benjen Stark, to the Night’s Watch as a whole, to himself) that he’s better than everyone else --- that he’s better than his symbol as a bastard, that he’s better than what everyone expects of him. we don’t really get a chapter where Jon tells Benjen (or anyone) why he wants to take the black --- by the time they talk, Jon has already made up his mind. therefore, this bit is a headcanon on my part, but i don’t think i’m wrong in assuming that Jon wanted to join the Night’s Watch because he didn’t have anything else left for his future. he’d never have a right to Winterfell, and the most he could ever hope to inherit was, maybe, some little keep somewhere in the North, and to defend it under Robb’s name. the Watch gave him at least an opportunity to rise above his bastard status, and, when he arrives there and keeps being treated the same, that’s when he snaps and starts literally bullying everyone else for it.

Donal Noye has a crucial role in Jon’s change, and he is also the underlying tone of the whole kill the boy and let the man be born --- but this is subject for another meta, and i will not touch it here. basically, once he starts treating the Night’s Watch as his new family/ home, Jon’s negative regard of himself slowly and gradually stops being directed to the outside, and starts being directed to the inside --- to his own self. this becomes exponential after Ygritte’s death (which he blames himself for, not exactly for being bastard born, but he still does and this adds up), and even more so after he’s elected lord commander. and, as i like to say, when you look at AGOT Jon and ADWD Jon, you see two different persons. lord commander Jon forces himself to be guarded and isolated, for the sake of better leading his men, and he suffers a lot with insecurities and self-doubt --- because, let’s be real, he’s a 16 year old boy suddenly charged with responsibility to guide nineteen castles and all the men and women inhabiting them. we often see Jon wondering what Ned would have done in his stead, and even more often we see him worrying if he’s making the right decision --- but having to push through, anyway, because winter is almost upon them and he doesn’t have time to sulk.

and what does being bastard born have to do with this? it is, exactly, the fact that Jon, simply put, believes he’s a bad person because he’s a bastard --- and how he’s come from trying to fight against it, literally fight, to accepting it and letting it subconsciously become his default mode of functioning. Jon is a perfectionist and very, very hardworking, because he knows there’s no other way for him to be. let it be known that both Jon and i love Robb beyond any words, but Robb is the heir --- whenever Robb makes a mistake, that’s okay because everyone knows he’s honorable and righteous like his father, so it’s human to make mistakes. when Jon Snow makes a mistake, it is because of his bad blood and because he’s the bastard son of a traitor, and what else could you expect. this is why none of the Stark children can ever understand what being a Snow entails, even Arya who ever fought for the sake of her brother being treated as an equal. Jon lives on the edge, constantly, and he’s well aware he’s got no room to make mistakes.

this is why he’s always so sullen, this is why he takes apparently harmless jokes very personally, this is why he has a hard time believing in praise offered to him. because his entire identity is built on being inherently less than most others, even before his birth, which leads him to always having to push his limits and be perfect --- being good isn’t enough for him, he cannot allow himself the luxury of making a bad decision --- and this is tenfold when he’s in a position of leadership, be it as lord commander or, in show canon, King in the North. which, non-surprisingly, is extremely tiring and always has him under tension. and this is also why he tends to draw to himself the guilt over matters that aren’t even directly under his control, and why his biggest fear is the fear of failure. because, all his life, Jon Snow wanted to be Jon Stark --- wanted to prove to his father, and then to everyone else, that he was more than a negative symbol, and worthy of his/their trust and acknowledgment. failing, even something as silly as sending a raven during the night when he was supposed to send it during the morning, means he’s not worthy of his father’s name; it means that the world is right, and that he’s no more than his bad blood. needless to say, all of this is why Jon is so adamantly against fathering bastards of his own --- because he would never want a son/daughter to have to carry the burden he’s carried for his entire life.

as a conclusion, this is also why, in this blog, the annulment of Rhaegar’s and Elia’s marriage will never be accepted. it goes without saying that Elia deserved so much better, but the point of this meta is that being bastard born is the foundation of Jon’s identity, and it has impacted his story and functioning in ways that cannot be erased. suddenly making him Aegon Targaryen 2.0. for the sake of sitting his fine ass on the Iron Throne does NOT change his past and does NOT change who he is. therefore, in my personal portrayal of Jon Snow, even in purely show-based threads and despite what season 8 may throw at us, he will always be bastard born --- Ned’s bastard or Rhaegar’s bastard, it makes no difference. because the Jon i love and write doesn’t need to be of legitimate blood to matter and to be valid, nor will i ever completely erase and disregard the circumstances that made/ make him who he is.

#long post #𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚊 𝚝𝚊𝚐 ❄️ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʳᵒʷ ᶤˢ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃᵛᵉᶰˢ ᵖᵒᵒʳ ᶜᵒᵘˢᶤᶰ #i finally wrote this #and now i can go cry in the corner over how much i love this boy

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whateverisbeautiful · 6 years

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Reveling in Richonne

#102: The Alarm (8x03-8x07)

I mentioned how in 8A there was good, bad, and heartbreaking things to discuss. Well the premiere provided a lot of the good and the mid-season finale provided a lot of the heartbreaking. So in the episodes in between, while there definitely was some good (I thought 8x04 and 8x05 were really well done) there was also some bad too. (looking at you, Garbage Pail Kids)

And while Rick and Michonne wouldn’t be reunited until the mid-season finale, there’s still some nice Richonne connections in the episodes in between the premiere and msf.

(Side note: This post is long cuz it covers about five episodes, so just wanted to say thanks in advance for reading this!)

The first connection comes from Rick’s interaction with Morales. As Morales aims a gun at Rick, cuz he’s “Negan” now, Rick tries to relate to him by letting him know the people he lost, that Morales would know. He lists Lori, Shane, Andrea, and then Glenn. (RIP to the forgotten T-Dog lol👌🏽)

And then Rick details how heinous Negan is when he tells Morales about how Negan is the one who killed Glenn and bashed his head in right in front of him and Glenn’s pregnant wife.

Hearing this is the first thing to make Morales drop the tough guy front and he asks, “He had a wife?” And Rick responds saying, “Not before. He met her.”

Morales asks, “In this?” cuz this seems to really have Morales shook lol. Like he can’t seem to wrap his mind around it.

And, when I thought about it, I realized that it actually is pretty significant to find a spouse in this new world.

Like sure people might couple up, but to feel like you found someone who you legitimately consider your wife? That’s rare and really special. 😊

And then this becomes a Richonne moment cuz the way Rick reacts to that question, you know he is thinking about how he too found a wife in this.

So he pauses for a moment and then says, “Yeah. In this.”

I love it. ☺️😭 I always like moments that indicate R&M acknowledging their relationship.

It’s also just such a super sweet thing to think about cuz, to Morales and most people, this is a world that is just bleak and dark at all times and all this world ever does is take from you. But for Rick, as much as he’s lost, he gained something so valuable in finding and falling for Michonne. 🙌🏾

And for Rick and Michonne to find the type of golden relationship they have, even in this, it really shows not just how fortunate that is, but also how resilient their bond must be that it could withstand all the craziness this world throws at them.

Like this is a world designed to break them, and yet they only grow stronger together. 👌🏽

It’s interesting that Morales tells Rick that all the people he listed are dead “and somewhere along the way Officer Friendly died with them” it’s a cool line as a season 1 callback, but lucky for Rick he found someone to bring him back to life. 😌

So while Rick def isn’t the person he was in season one, unlike Morales who lost a family, Rick gained a family. Like, since these two last saw each other, Rick has a daughter and a legit soul mate and that’s a big part of what’s kept him from not completely losing himself.

And, as you know, this conversation doesn’t go on too long cuz Daryl shows up and takes Morales out, no questions asked. It’s the necessary approach imo. 👌🏽

In 8x02, there’s that scene where Rick is fighting a guy who Rick thinks is trying to keep him from guns but, after killing the guy, Rick finds that this man was actually trying to protect a precious little baby.

That was such an eye-opening moment cuz it really put some perspective on this war and how Rick isn’t the only one fighting for his kids.

It was tough to see Rick have to realize that he’s just taken away this girl’s father. 😥

The minute I saw the baby, I was like “Rick, this baby is apart of TF now so you know we gotta bring her home.” Like I was so serious that he better not leave without this baby. And I’m glad that we see in 8x03 that he does in fact go back for the baby.

So then there’s 8x06 and that week there were two holidays, Thanksgiving and “Michonne’s finally back on the screen” day. 😋

I was def excited cuz this was Michonne and Carl’s long awaited return. Their absence was definitely felt while they were gone, cuz they really are apart of the fabric of what makes TWD, TWD.

Also I kept thinking that if Michonne was with some of these groups during these outpost missions there would probably be a lot less of the shenanigans going on lol.

Like I feel like she would have been a great asset to that team with Morgan, Jesus, and Tara cuz they needed someone to be the leader and guide them and shut down Paul’s horrible idea to take a boatload of Saviors back to Hilltop. 🙄

I feel like she could’ve been a perfect fit to offer up some wisdom on that whole situation and they would’ve listened to her. Cuz despite what Tara said, Rick listens to Michonne first and foremost lol. 💯😂

And Michonne’s presence also would have been very helpful if she was with Rick and Daryl when these two decided to full on brawl and blow up the guns they just worked so hard to get. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Which btw, when I saw them fighting I was legit like…

Lol I felt like a mom who was waiting for her kids to get it together cuz ain’t nobody got time for that. 😂

But Rick and Daryl are very much brothers and they always end up wildin out when they’re together which is entertaining.

All I’m saying tho, is I highly doubt they’d be pulling all that if Michonne was there. And it’s not even cuz she’s like some no nonsense dictator or anything, I just think her presence helps people stay focused.

So she’s back for 8x06 and the first time we see her is when Carl opens the gates to ASZ as the cars return from their outpost excursion.

I love that, even tho she’s still not completely healed, she made sure to be there at the entrance when her people returned.

And then it’s sweet that both Carl and Michonne are given letters cuz,from what we see during this letter segment, all the leaders are the ones getting letters; like Carol, Maggie, and Rick. But of course Carl and Michonne get some too cuz that’s the royal family, y’all. 😋👑

I love seeing Michonne and Carl together as they read this letter and you can see just from Michonne’s expression, as she watches bodies be removed from the cars, that she’s really aware of the weight of this war and it’s hard for her to only be able to see the end results and not be there on the battleground with them.

It’s a super subtle but nice touch that during the more vulnerable part of Ricks letter, where he talks about it being scarier than he thought, the focus is on Michonne and Carl.

And then this cold open wants to try me by ending with Jadis and her trash henchman doing arts and crafts in nothing but an apron. 🤨

Y’all, you already know what happens when I feel tried. May we go on a gif journey about how I felt about this whole trash people storyline? 🙃

So, first of all, lets go back to 8x03 real quick cuz that’s when I realized that Rick was even thinking about going back to them.

Daryl sort of ambiguously asks if Rick is sure about a visit and that’s when I was like wait please tell me Daryl is not talking about who I think he’s talking about. Is Rick seriously about to willingly go to the Trash Folk? There’s zero reason to do that so I was like...

And I knew Jadis and the junkyard people would be returning for season 8 from seeing the trailer, but I didn’t think it would be because Rick willingly goes to them for a deal. I was so not here for it. 😒 Cuz, even aside from the fact that I don’t like Jadis’s thirstiness, it’s just such a bad idea. 🤦🏽‍♀️

These junkyard people have proven to be snakes. Snakes are almost worse than outright villains cuz as least with outright villains you know where they stand.

But with snakes, their “yes” and their “no” mean the same thing; nothing. Cuz they’ll turn on you at the drop of a hat and they’ve shown that they have zero interest in cooperating multiple times so I just could not understand how returning to them for help was an actual part of the plan.

It’s one thing if they only decided to go to the trash people as an absolute last resort, once they learned that the majority of the Kingdom has been completely wiped out, but instead, this seems to be apart of the original plan, which baffled me. It just was not a good look for Rick to think this was a reasonable idea.

I also have a tough time believing that Michonne would’ve been cool with this cuz she’d know that these trash people’s word can’t be trusted. So even before Rick steps foot into the junkyard I was already just like…

So then, Rick shows up to this place alone, and I feel like low key part of his reasoning for feeling confident enough to do that was because he knows Jadis is feeling him, to which I was like…

And y’all, even Jadis is confused as to why Rick thought this was a good idea. 😂

Like she keeps reminding Rick that she shot him but Rick’s consistently like nah you grazed me, which...

I was like “shot, grazed, looked at the wrong way, I don’t care, either way we shouldn’t be here”. Cuz these trash people are the reason he nearly lost half his family in one day. 😠

Their betrayal threw everything off and it caused Michonne to be badly beaten and Carl to be seconds away from being Lucilled so, to me, the only business we have left with the trash people is to just take them all out and then bounce.

I remember telling my brother before this episode that they better have a really, really great explanation for why Rick is going back to this place. Like it can’t be a good reason, it has to be great and necessary to the point where there was no other way but this way, cuz otherwise nothing explains why this would be happening.

The only other way this wouldn’t be totally nonsensical, would be if this storyline was included so that Michonne could go break Rick out of there and then proceed to give Jadis a very nice and thorough lesson on the golden rule.👌🏽

And I think I saw that Lincoln thought that was going to be the route it would go as well cuz that really would have been the natural next step. Like Michonne coming to get him would have been the better storyline imo, so when that didn’t even happen I was like…

In this exchange, Jadis is convinced this must be a trick cuz that’s the only thing that makes sense. You know your plan is illogical when even the person who betrayed you is like “...yeah bruh, you wanting to work with us doesn’t add up cuz we’ve shown you firsthand that we’re trifling.” 😂

Rick holds up the polaroids to show them the pictures and that also had me like…

Cuz one; I felt like finding out the reason Rick was taking photos was to convince people who don’t deserve convincing was sort of lackluster. And two; I was like Rick pass those photo around cuz ain’t nobody can see those little things when you’re holding them up like that lol. And three; I felt bad cuz, little does he know, his own people are headed off to completely change the plan and compromise the very advantage he’s telling these trash people they have.

And y’all, I’m mad at the line “switch sides again.” 🤦🏽‍♀️ If that has to be said, there’s already a problem lol. They shouldn’t have switched sides in the first place.

I feel like the show should have gave Rick more credit cuz he would know by now that if he can convince them to switch sides that easy, then clearly they can turn on him again just as easily.

Rick also says that his people know he’s here but I was like, apart from Daryl...

Cuz no one seemed to be ready to go retrieve Rick from this place if things went South. In fact, it was sort of odd that Rick’s whereabouts were barely brought up with the other characters while he was gone.

And sure enough, 8x06 ends with Rick locked up cuz that’s literally the only way a plan that faulty would go.

I felt bad too cuz Rick’s all looking out of this tiny little hole in the bin and probably thinking someone is coming to break him out but I was like...

Cuz his son is out helping a stranger in the woods, self aware that it wouldn’t be honoring him. And his friends are headed to put a hole in the Sanctuary despite the fact that the walkers surrounding the place was working.

And the Kingdom went from being stacked with fighters to having literally less than five left. And Maggie has to deal with the POW’s cuz Paul was so convinced that she would like that idea but, because she has common sense, she does not like that idea and has to figure out what to do. 😕

So when it comes to executing the plan, all the characters were pretty much just like…

So Michonne’s storyline in 8x06 was just okay imo. It was hard not to feel like they just put this storyline in to give Michonne and Rosita something to do and not cuz it was particularly important to the story. And some stuff felt ooc for Michonne. But luckily, because Danai is such a good actor, she was still able to sell it. 👏🏽

It starts with Michonne putting stuff in a car as she gets ready to leave ASZ. Rosita walks over and tells her, “Rick said stay put.” And you know my extra self found that pretty interesting.😁

There’s a lot of different ways Rosita could have told Michonne she probably shouldn’t be heading out in her condition but she chooses to bring up Rick cuz one; she knows that’s Michonne’s man and two; I feel the fact that they’re implying Rick said this shows that Michonne staying and resting was something important to him.

Michonne quickly replies that she’s, “Just gonna look” and Rosita reminds her that she’s still healing and she should get some rest so that she’s ready for the next fight. But Michonne is pretty set on going so she tells Rosita “I’ll be back soon.”

Rosita gets in the car and I love that Michonne low key has a reaction like “girl, let me live” lol. 😋

Michonne reminds Rosita that she too is still healing but Rosita says she’s been shot worse than this and then she tells Michonne to drive, to which I was low key like...

Lol I needed Rosita to check her tone real quick cuz she’s dealing with the queen now. And Michonne sees that Rosita is now set on going too so they drive off to go on this road trip together.

So on their car ride, Rosita asks Michonne, “Why did you need to come out here?”

Michonne tells Rosita, “The second they rolled out of the Sanctuary and I wasn’t with them…it’s like this sirens been going off in my head and I can’t turn it off.”

Now that’s deep. That’s how you know that interconnection is so real, when being apart literally sends an ongoing siren off in her head.

I also think those sirens are going off cuz she can sense that her man is in a trifling situation right now lol. Like I wanted Michonne to turn the car around and go to the junkyard so she could #ringthealarm and shut Jadis’s extra-ness down. 😂

She goes on to say, “I helped get this started. It’s been a day and a half and I have felt every second.”

Y’all, I know it’s the overall war that’s made her feel this way, but low key it’s also totally the fact that she’s had to be apart from Rick this long that’s caused her to feel this so heavily. Lemme say it again; magnets. 😋

She says, “So I just need to see it.” Which I was like, but you don’t tho cuz your man has pictures. 😂

And then she says, “And turn that alarm off in my head and turn around and go home.”

This felt significant to me for two reasons. One; cuz this just goes to show how Michonne has such an innate need to go see for herself, but again because she has a full on family now she knows she has to adjust a bit.

So she wants to see in order to stop the sirens but she also knows that just as important as that is to her, it’s also important that she turn around and go home after cuz she has people at home who need her. So again, it’s her trying to find this balance of who she was before her family and after.

And two; The “turn that alarm off in my head” stood out to me cuz not only is it really telling that when Rick is away a full on alarm goes off for her, it also reminded me of Rick’s little happy place scene where in Rick’s head, Michonne is the one to literally turn the alarm off for him.

So hearing that I was like...

I felt like that was just an interesting parallel cuz it’s like they both are so integral to each others lives, and it’s their presence that helps to turn off those alarms for each other and give them a sense of peace. 👌🏽

Rosita hears this and gets on board cuz again Danai sold that and made that motivation believable. And then Michonne hears something so they stop the car and go check out this Savior’s cache.

Rosita and Michonne spot two Saviors inside and one of them does not have very good things to say about Rick. Michonne and Rosita overhear this lady dissing Rick and I love that Michonne’s expression when she hears that is just so casually like “alright lemme handle this”. The second this Savior decided to insult Rick I knew this was about to be her last day on earth.

Michonne accidentally kicks a tennis ball which blows their cover and it leads to Michonne having to fight this chick. And, in this fight, Sis is struggling cuz she’s still not fully recovered yet. Like she’s supposed to be at home resting, not in a full on sword fight.

The lady gets away and starts driving the Fat Lady but, with some very convenient timing, Daryl and Tara’s truck comes and rams into the car. Rosita mentions how that was too close and Michonne agrees as she seems to be realizing that they’re definitely not healed up enough to be out here like this.

Rosita and Michonne talk with Daryl and Tara as they both wonder why the other is out here. When Rosita asks Daryl he says that “They have a lot more work to do.” And then he says, “All of us” and I was like…

Cuz Sis does not need to be going with them and getting involved with this recklessness. Plus she already had her rogue storyline in season 7 and she learned from that. But this season wasn’t as adamant about character consistency, so she goes with them.

And then they drive to a spot where they can see the sanctuary and Michonne is able to see that the walkers are surrounding the building just like Rick said and detailed in his letter.

I think what made this whole storyline of her “just needing to see” feel a little ooc is cuz last time she headed out like this was when she had that red head savior take her to the Sanctuary in season 7. And while yes, Michonne is someone who’s always willing and ready to go and see, that’s often met with some sort of action too. Like she didn’t just want that Savior to take her to Negan, she wanted to try and do something but then she saw how stacked Negan’s team is and realized it wasn’t a good idea.

But this time, she literally just wants to go and look with no real action behind it so that’s what made this motive feel a little weaker this time around. Especially cuz her and Rick had that whole conversation in 7x08 about wanting to do this the “me and you” way so you’d think that would have made her feel less inclined to go along with Daryl and Tara too.

And then there’s 8x07 and this rogue crew is huddled as they discuss what Daryl and Tara want to do. And watching them discuss this I was just like “Michonne, this isn’t you, boo”.

Like these other guys have shown to not always have the best judgment, but she knows better. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like Michonne has to be perfect, she can make mistakes just like the rest of them, but this particular mistake just didn’t feel like one she would make.

And she does express that it’s risky, but Rosita is the one who more vocally expresses the common sense approach that this idea could go wrong and she asks why they aren’t just waiting it out like they planned which I was like...

Rosita also says, “I believe in Rick Grimes” which I’m glad someone said it cuz I was really starting to wonder if people remembered who he was lol.

I also was like how are the writers not going to have Michonne respond or co-sign that lol? It’s like they forgot that she’s “belief in Rick Grimes” personified.

I’m happy that Rosita says she’s not doing it and seeing that she was wise enough to walk away I was like...

Before leaving, Rosita asks Michonne one more time if she’s good with this and Michonne responds saying she helped get this started so she’s gotta see it through. But I was like Sis, following the plan is seeing it through, it’s the rogue stuff that could jeapordize it all.

Rosita tells her, “You think it’s easier to come out here and risk, then stay back there and wait.” And Michonne did think that…in season 7. A season ago, she literally learned what Rosita is telling her about how sometimes you don’t get to know and you can’t always go rogue, so that’s why this arc is a little frustrating cuz, unless I’m missing something, her character went through this already but instead she was painted like that never happened.

Despite Rosita’s wise words Michonne still gets in the car so I was just like...

They drive closer to the Sanctuary and then Tara gets out and Michonne has an expression where I was like that’s the look of someone who is remembering they did this storyline already lol.

Daryl asks if she’s up for this cuz it’s clear she’s having second thoughts. And y’all, I low key wanted Michonne to turn to Daryl and tell him, “Look, I didn’t want to say this in front of company, but now that it’s just us, if you don’t turn this car around right now cuz we are not about to do this and risk messing things up.” 😂

I especially wanted Michonne and Daryl to not go through with this cuz seeing these two together, it got me thinking about how, in this car, is Rick’s wife and best friend.

And at the beginning of this whole tv show, Rick had a wife and best friend, and they seriously let him down. So I felt it was important to show how Michonne and Daryl are different and they would stand by Rick rather than go against him.

And luckily, Michonne does end up deciding to stand by Rick and the original plan, which I was like...

She tells Daryl, “I came here to see things for myself. I wanted to know that things were gonna work. But you know what? I don’t get to know that. None of us do. What I do know is that things are working now. So maybe we just need to trust that things are going to keep working”

And this all felt very reminisncent of her speech in the cell in 7x08. I appreciate that she basically lands on knowing she should trust both the plan and trust Rick. 👏🏽

So then she ends with saying, “Because this, what we’re about to do, it’s not worth risking us.” I heard that and I was like there she is. That’s the common sense Michonne that I know lol. 😋

Daryl says that it is worth the risk for him and it’s sad cuz you can tell there’s a lot of guilt and PTSD that he’s carrying so he’s acting emotionally. But they can’t afford to act emotionally or selfishly cuz that literally could be life or death.

Acting on a pretty reckless impulse is dangerous to the people he wants to protect and so I feel like Daryl needs someone to just adamantly and compassionately tell him...

Michonne lets Daryl know she really hopes it works but she can’t do it which I’m very glad she comes to that conclusion.

Would it have been nice if she realized that sooner or if she made more of a case for Daryl to not do it either? Definitely. But, at the same time, Daryl’s a grown man who was gonna do what he wants and I’m just glad she came to her senses before getting actively involved in this messy plan.

Daryl understands and so Michonne gets out of the car and walks away. Tara is still hopeful so she tells Daryl they can still do this and I was like “Y’all really might want to reconsider” cuz once Michonne decides it’s not a good idea, that’s when you know you have to throw the whole plan away. 😂

So then with Rick’s whole trifling storyline in 8x07 he’s had a day.

It starts with him being photographed and sketched by these sketchy people. And I was just like why is this even a storyline lol? Like why are we here? 🤦🏽‍♀️

This could have been valuable time spent with Rick and Carl but instead Rick’s over here having to play the trash folks reindeer games. 🙄

He has to fight yet another one of their armed walkers and because he’s Rick to the Grimes he manages to find a way to make it work and when Jadis sees that he’s winning she steps in and so now they’re fighting and he’s able to pin her down and the whole time I was just watching this thinking “So this is what y’all wanna do TWD? This is what we’re doing now?” and this was my legit reaction during all this…

Needless to say I wasn’t amused lol. I just felt like this was an unnecessary mess.

(Side note: If I was Rick I’d low key be in my feelings that no one came to get me cuz he had to finesse his way out of that whole situation on his own. I’d be showing up to ASZ looking at each person like..

But, even with no one coming after him, Homeboy stayed confident that he would walk out of there the whole time 👏🏽)

Rick asks Jadis if they’re done and then when he helps her up this was me...

Jadis says they’ll join him which literally means nothing cuz they’re the type to change their mind at the drop of a hat.

And then this chick has the nerve to ask for all the Saviors stuff after. And if that weren’t enough, she then asks to sculpt Rick cuz Jadis is the queen of taking trying it to the highest of heights.

Basically to sum it up; I was and am so ready to be done with these trifling Garbage Patch Kids. 😑

And then of course Rick’s not having her requests, so he demands his clothes back and it’s clear he’s over this too.

Then he takes the whole lot of them with him to that water tower where he finds that, while he was out, his group done changed the whole plan. 😪

Homeboy was gone for a day and a half and in that short time his whole plan just unraveled. And not even by Negan, but by his team. Rick’s just trying to make a way for people but nobody was putting any respek on his name.

And what’s sad is that, while he was gone, not only did his whole plan unravel but his whole world was about to be shaken as well. Cuz it was in 8x06 where in one quick moment, his son’s days became marked.

It’s crazy that in these episodes there was a scene that seemed so simple but would change the course of this entire show. And that’s Carl going out and helping Siddiq.

Looking back now, Carl’s reaction after that scuffle with the walkers makes it pretty clear that something went really wrong. But, just like Rick and Michonne, we wouldn’t find out how wrong it went until the msf. 😢

I’ll talk more about this whole situation soon, but for now, one line that stands out is when Carl tells Siddiq that, “Sometimes kids have to find their own way to show their parents the way”

And one thing I’ll always appreciate is that Carl definitely showed Rick and Michonne the way to each other. 👌🏽😭

#richonne #richonne fandom #richonne family #michonne #rick grimes #michonne grimes #twd #the walking dead #carl grimes #s8 #not my gifs #8.03 #8.06 #8.07

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