Tumgik
#i know that tags gonna be useless so
get-back-homeward · 1 year
Text
Imagine this
How Do You Sleep that
Have you considered the most interesting song on the Imagine album may be How?
George was right. The song deserves attention.
Tumblr search is zero help on this song because it only picks up How Do You Sleep. But has anyone ever written about it?
Given John’s “How? + Why?” response to Paul’s 12-page letter about dissolving the partnership, I think it’s worth looking at. That exchange is sometime in summer 1970.
Song Origins
The earliest version of How? is a home demo dated as late 1970. This demo only has the “we” part of the song:
How can we go forward When we don’t know which way we're facing? How can we go forward When we don’t know which way to turn? How can we be certain About something we’re not sure of? Oh, no, oh, no
In the final version, this part is the end of the song (the bolded words change slightly). This ending is a shift from the personal “I” used in the rest of the song. So he started with “we” in 1970 and then evolved it into more self-directed reflection over time.
The demo is very rough, he's still searching for the notes. But something about it made me think of Look At Me, which has a similar plaintive tone and features several existential questions to the listener (Who am I supposed to be? and Who are we?). Look at Me originates from India and has an earlier 1968 demo that captures a glimpse of John’s state of mind during this crucial time. The How? demo would be recorded around the same time John is revisiting Look At Me to record formally for the Plastic Ono Band album.
The added self-reflection verses continue the same format of existential questions, moving from feelings to love. It's a blatantly honest look at depression in the wake of a loss, which I think George would have noticed and in some sense seen himself in. It's unclear when these verses are added (John just says “last year” in 1971 for all the verses), but they are probably influenced by John's experience of undergoing Janov's primal scream therapy (April-September 1970?). Possibly the questions left unanswered at the end of those 6 months.
How can I have feeling when I don't know if it's a feeling?
How can I give love when I don't know what it is I'm giving?
All three verses include the idea of uncertainty (I don’t know), which could be its own essay on existentialism vs epistemology in the face of a destabilizing event. But for now, let’s focus on the emotional aspect. Here, two places ascribe blame to drive his uncertainty: his feelings have always been denied and love is something he never had. This seems to go a bit far, but remember depression is a liar and part of Janov's therapy was probably that John’s closest relationships had all been a lie.
John adds the middle eight during Imagine sessions. It balances the bleakness of depression with the will to live:
You know life can be long
And you got to be so strong
And the world is so tough
Sometimes I feel I've had enough
This middle eight repeats twice, and each time, the end fuses to the first word of the questioning verses, without the typical space of a few beats in between. This lack of space suggests a relationship, as if the questions are part of the fight to keep him going past the bleakness of feeling like giving up.
Its first recording is May 26, 1971, nine days after Ram is released. Take 31 and Take 40 (Raw Studio Mix) were released on the Ultimate release of the album but aren't too different from the final lyrics/melody wise.
Supposedly, another version of How? includes a question about home: “how can I go home when home is something I have never had” and it’s not clear which lines replace it. Perhaps “how can I give love when I don’t know what it is I’m giving?” Questions of home would be a result of Janov’s primal scream digging into his childhood and bringing forth old wounds. But in the absence of a physical home, it’s the people around you who become your home. This home line makes me think of that Get Back sessions moment, when John shares with Paul his excitement about getting Apple Studio functional and feeling like home. It's a picture of feelings being denied in action as Paul responds by changing the subject. For whatever reason, this home line gets cut by Take 31.
The placement of How? in the album tracklist is curious too, directly after the angry Paul-directed How Do You Sleep. Its title holds the same question but none of the anger. It’s like an echo of How Do You Sleep, informing the source of its anger and revealing what it masks: fear and indecision about the future.
Song Context
It’s interesting to place this song next to Ram, where the overwhelming theme is the exact opposite: grab life by the horns and move forward to find your own way. Ram sessions started in NYC in October 1970, around the same time as the How? demo. Each song, from Too Many People to Back Seat, reveals Paul’s mental exercise of extricating himself from his former life and moving on with his family in Scotland. Personally and professionally, Paul is building a new home away from John.
The final version of How? is produced more in the vein of The Long and Winding Road, the song at the nexus of the breakup. Its beginning is marked by the same distinct stop-start syncopated beat and the instrumentation builds across the song to make a bleak song more palatable. If Paul didn’t turn off the record the moment he heard John’s diss track, he would have almost certainly picked up How?’s link to TL&WR. That song being his own plaintive moment of fearing the future, considering life without the band that was his world. And the last straw when Spector remixed it without his approval.
In his April 1971 LIFE interview that precedes the Ram release, Paul shares a recent exchange between him and John. John recalls the infamous “bubble bursting” question, and Paul corrects him in the past tense: the bubble has already burst. This is one of several exchanges where Paul’s saying catch up, it’s done, let me go and John’s saying what does that even mean?!
Hearing Paul’s declaration of independence on Ram made John angry. He calls How Do You Sleep “an outburst” in response to Ram and not reflective of how he thinks of Paul all the time. But Ram also gave him a direction forward that McCartney did not. If John thought the album had messages to taunt him, he almost certainly heard the taunt in Monkberry Moon Delight:
Catch up! Cats and kittens Don’t get left behind
I don’t know about you, but hearing that taunt from my ex-partner/BFF/lover/whatever would certainly make me angry, hot enough to ignite my competitive streak and get to work.
It reminds me of the moment Fred Seaman recalls in 1980, when John hears Paul's Coming Up:
Tumblr media
John told me that Paul was the only musician who could scare him into writing great songs, and vice versa.
Imagine is hardly my favorite John solo album. I'm not about to dismiss the terrible things John said about Paul or Ram or forget how the bad press buried the album for years. But I think in focusing on the anger, we can miss the simple fact that Ram inspiring John to write anything was actually the biggest compliment he could give. Sometimes, anger is the only fuel available to drive you forward, where anything is preferable to nothing. It’s not ideal or fair, and it’s up to you to pick up the mess of your storm later, but it’s something. Like a basic survival instinct kicking in in the midst of drowning. Any fight that pushing you back to the surface is preferable over laying down and dying.
In that way, I think John was being honest when he later admitted that How Do You Sleep was about himself. Not in the exact lines specific to Paul but in the action, to write (or accept), record, and release them. How? as an echo to this anger shows the before and after, how John used Paul as a punching bag in response. That action was all about John himself.
28 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
spade represents the tip of a pike; an implement for killing
alex’s
white void of doom
Tumblr media
sketch and background element/scribble that isn’t really visible but i’m sharing just in case anybody did notice it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
other details
#now i have to draw one for alex *sobs*#how tf do you guys come up with backgrounds for EVERY DRAWING?! oh my god. i’m not creative enough for this bullshit#two things i discovered with this drawing: 1) birds are hard af to draw. 2) wet black hair is hard af to draw#you guys have no idea how many purple hues are actually in this art piece#this is like if dream and jessamy happened to have met under way worse circumstances#anyway let me know if you guys have any ideas for alex’s (i have no idea when exactly i’ll actually get around to it but still)#bones and shit#a majority of this one was inspired by The Locked Tomb fanart and symbolism#6 hours and 34 minutes but i’m gonna guess that roughly an hour and a half of that was me trying to figure out a background#tom sturridge#like minds#murderous intent#like minds 2006#nigel colbie#art#fanart#drawing#digital art#nigel colbie fanart#artist of tumblr#like minds art#nigel colby#<- including the old tag bc why not#somebody get this movie out of my brain#scoop it out along with all the other useless shit i keep in there#i was thinking maybe alex’s should be the complete opposite of this#like instead of his head being turned down it would be turned upwards#maybe he should be wearing the clothes he did when we first saw him with sally rowe (or maybe his school uniform)#i ​definitely want both of them to be side profiles and the theme is going to have to be somewhat consistent as well#<<‹ these tags are mostly so i remember my own thought process but feel free to leave your two cents
68 notes · View notes
spotsupstuff · 8 months
Note
How does sparrows feel about compliments? do they make her happy or her insecurities make it hard to accept that people think positively of her?
depends on who they come from!
from strangers on the internet, she disregards them cuz it's only the internet. at first she used to get flustered but then she thought about it n just -shooing motion-. the idea is that you don't know her and she isn't supposed to be loved and treasured by the society, so it has to be a lie
from strangers on the cities' streets, she gets uncomfortable. because she doesn't know them, this is high circle people who don't understand- who benefit from this wretched system and also gave her those insecurities in the first place. if it's a Child that compliments her though, that's hard to disregard in some way. so she flushes, giggles and thanks them with a little bow
back in her home farm district where she knows everyone, compliments are just part of the conversation. they don't mean much more than a pat on the back. they are more action based down there. wanna show your gratitude or appreciation, you take the other for a trip to spend quality time together or for dinner or give a gift
when one of her siblings compliments her, she suspects they did smth wrong n r trying to ease their incoming punishment. compliments r again kind of... far on the side- when they actually compliment her work for smth she smiles at them n goes on about her work when Inkling compliments her, Sparru gets excited as if she was still a child n runs up to hug her when granpa compliments Any of the children it gets quiet while they stare at him wide eyed in surprise. cuz he's usually the mean type to everyone but Inkling. then he gets offended by their stares n goes back into his grumpy ways n the children heave a sigh of relief before laughing
with Euros it was a process. at first she got flustered, then she disregarded them, then she got uncomfortable because it was knocking on her low self-esteem but boy was originally planning on worshipping her so it wasn't like he was going to stop. one day she cried in panic because she didn't know how to interact with this and that's how Euros figured out that Sparrows isn't all that fine mentally. told her that there isn't anything wrong with what he's doing, he means every word and he won't stop. so Sparrows had to find how to cope with it which turned out to be shily accepting it. she still cries sometimes cuz yanno how it be, but slowly she gets more self-confident n eventually starts dishing out compliments for him too. eventually it all fades into the same background like with her home farm district
14 notes · View notes
kellystar321 · 8 months
Text
.
#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
7 notes · View notes
tittysuckersworld · 10 months
Text
am fine
#fecking no i aint in tags lol#gosh i love my friends but man do i have a inferiority complex- and they dont exactly help with it-#like. today tryed join in with smth with making ocs cause friends already did that#was having a lil bit of fun trying mojo#and then another friend joined in and idk#i dont wanna sound mean but took it?#i was gonna make a charscter or smth planned out with heizou but they sorta took over my channel and made smth with him#which is fine im fine i just gosh#i feel so dumb and bad when others sorta take my spot#all my friends are so so good at character creation and figuring out lore fast and i just#i suck at it. i struggle so hard with writing and trying to get into characters heads#i suck at roleplay and usually go with whats funniest to me#i feel like a joke. they only just moved channels and its been an hour.#i know what i would have made wouldnt be half as good but i wanted to make something#and that got trampled. it really dosent help that i was sorta the art one and then a way better artist joined the server#i just- i know it dosent make sence but with it all i just feel useless? is that ok??#i want to make things and be as good as my friends with it but i alwase feel like im just worse. i wish my head worked right like all of#theirs do. i know i make good ideas and things. but thats after months and months of working out and revising#they make a whole coherant story in an hour. wile multitasking. how am i supposed to keep up with that??#i also just feel pathetic cause they are my only super close friends. one being only irl friend that dosent just feel like my brothers#and even then that friend is moving away soon. damn it i just wish i could be as good as them with something. anything#i dont wanna just be the silly younger sibling friend all the time. i dont wanna help just make jokes. i wanna make cool stuff like them#they all have their stuff so much more together and i just want to be decent compared to then on one thing#i just want one please.
9 notes · View notes
risingsunresistance · 5 months
Text
my inbox is piling up :(
5 notes · View notes
swordwife · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
sobbing crying.
he's such a sweet lad 😭 😭 he just wanted to help people 😭 😭
2 notes · View notes
wri0thesley · 2 years
Note
Hang in there, Nat. We’ve got your back. 💖
i've written and not posted about ten whining posts today since getting that anon. i'm struggling a lot. but it means a lot also, anon, to know that there are nice people reading my silly thoughts and maybe feeling a little bit happy reading something i've posted. <3
16 notes · View notes
solomon-tozer · 1 year
Text
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: The Terror (TV 2018) Relationship: Thomas Armitage/Solomon Tozer Characters: Thomas Armitage, Solomon Tozer, William Hedges (1815-c.1848), Alexander Paterson Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Trains, Strangers, Drinking, Flirting Words: 3001
Summary: Tom would rather sit alone for the journey, but a trio of rig workers just back ashore aren't the worst companions he could have.
For the prompt: coworkers.
@theterrorbingo
3 notes · View notes
mayonakano-archive · 1 year
Text
love when my dad talks to me about Adult Things and Uni like yeah i know nothing about my senior shit nor the colleges i'm applying to, nor have i done anything we discussed when i turned 18 a month ago. peace and love <3
3 notes · View notes
bookwyrminspiration · 2 years
Text
nooo internalized shit I've been avoiding looking at don't resurface and make me face you you're so sexy haha
5 notes · View notes
prehistorictriforce · 2 years
Text
sometimes i’m like “yeah i’m super chill around celebrities, i don’t really clam up or anything, i’m super normal” and then i remember when i “met” frank iero and im like hmmmm maybe i’m wrong.
#it was a few years ago but like. a friend and i got to a venue i think… like a little over 12 hours early for the show???#so we were obviously there before the band. but when frank got there it was still only like. my friend and a couple other ppl#(we became good friends w the group we waited with btw!!! we all have a gc on insta and stuff they’re rad!!!!)#(we’re trying to get together to see mcr together!!)#but frank like. comes by and starts asking us how we’re doing and is like hey do y’all need anything and whatever#we said we were fine bc evan had gotten us water n shit#and i was standing next to frank and we were all talking and he was like idk we were looking for food where should we go#and we’re in a totally different state from where i’m from so i’m like??? i don’t fuckin know????#but this was frank fucking iero i wasn’t gonna admit i didn’t know smthn so i’m like I THINK THERES A GELATO PLACE AROUND HERE#so i just sit there like a god damn buffoon nodding and going yeah yeah yeah absolutely sure yeah!!! to every suggestion#and he kinda looks at me as if i’m gonna say smthn and i just smile all ridiculous and shrug and go ‘sounds good to me’#there was much more to the conversation but the general gist was everyone else being normal and me being doe eyed dumbass#he was very nice abt it all bless him he was super busy but he came out to check on us a couple more times before it got busy#he was always smiley and happy and giggly abt it and i miss him 💔💔 frank i’m so sorry i was useless i swear i can be better#at least i went HARD during the show. we were all right in front since we were literally first in line lol#anyways. still absolutely one of if not my ultimate fave concert i’ve ever been to#these tags have been long as fuck but this memory plagues me at night
4 notes · View notes
hauntingblue · 2 months
Text
ACT TWO BABEY
#i love this shit#OMG WANDA!!! NAMI GET YOUR GF BACK!!!#otama is alright......#is luffy gonna beef with kid on the exacation camp 😭#franky and robin on a date at sanjis noodle stand <3 yes that is what is happening#representation win! king and queen of the kaido beast army are two nearly divorced men#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 918#nami making cat noises ajdhaks#but why do they get the useless at their job shtick..... well i do know#i think sanji is running a failing bussiness there is no way he is charging the women to eat his noodles..... he can't do it for the hustle#how come kid and luffy get to keep their cunty outfits in jail.... all the other prisoners got the jail pyjamas#kid your beautiful full breasts have compelled me....#love how everyone is so scared of them they don't even think about not giving them food#why is the man inside the hippos mouth ajdhakshs#the hippo is wearing pants 😭😭#i love everyones faces at their bizarre body structure#well everyone DOES eat digest and shit yeah#luffy cant whistle ajdhajsj him 🤝🏻 peppa pig#episode 919#god i missed franky.... he isn't doing much but still..... also sanji looks so slay in his outfit#oh he learnt the suplex from señor pink... wow.......#omg a weird child.... usopp!!! your turn to fight#she has the same hair shape as sanji...#omg franky pantyshot...... treasured in my mind forever#i thot franky was curious about the oiran bc she said superstar not bc it was a woman.... disappointed.... usopp to??#luffy giving away his food tickets..... the importance of this.....#episode 920
1 note · View note
thingswhatareawesome · 5 months
Text
so i will say that the way tumblr redid the ui to make checking your different blogs (under account) is way, way easier for me now. so i'm actually checking my activity feed pretty consistently, something i didn't used to do.
which means that if someone comments something shitty on a thing they reblog from me, i'm now gonna see it and know to block them.
0 notes
fonulyn · 7 months
Text
since I've seen it talked about in several places recently:
if you are going to do a whump- or kink- or ANY-tober or other similar challenges please please please don't post them as one fic with 31 chapters unless it actually is one coherent fic. if they're 31 completely separate fics or ficlets then please just make a collection for them or just post them as separate fics. it doesn't matter if they're only 100 words or if you think they're too small or insignificant to post alone, they're not.
and why this?
because if you post all 31 of them in one fic the tagging is absolutely useless. if I look for things to read on ao3 I'm gonna look at the tags, and if the tags include something that's a dealbreaker for me, i won't even click on the fic. I might not even SEE the fic because I've filtered out the nope-tag! so I'm gonna lose out on reading 30 perfectly nice fics because of one fic that my nope-tag applied to.
ao3 is about archiving. it's about clear tagging and being informative. there is nothing informative about it if the tags in the fic apply to random chapters while others have nothing to do with it. it makes so much more sense to have each work as an individual fic with its own individual tags and warnings, so readers can make informed choices.
of course, you do you. I can't police what other people decide to do. but personally, I find it incredibly frustrating to weed through 31 chapters to find the ones I actually want to read. so I don't. I automatically scroll past all works posted like that. and I know some others do, too.
there is absolutely no shame in posting short things on ao3. there is no minimum word count. no one is going to look at you funny if you post a small ficlet on its own, I promise. it's just going to make some readers very happy when they can actually find the things they want to read.
so, please. at least consider the upsides of posting each work as their own fic.
signed, one very frustrated fandom grandma.
14K notes · View notes
griffsursparker · 11 months
Text
it's SO funny to me that whenever a new wave of how to use tumblr posts go around they ALL have conflicting takes on how to use likes. like everyone agrees you need to reblog stuff but no one can agree on whether or not likes are useless and if not what they are useful for
1 note · View note