#i know it’s very invalidating to see this kind of hate against the show | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

esthermitchell-author · 2 months

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Going to probably make myself worlds unpopular here, and get a lot of negative feedback (used to it), but I really have to say something.

However, before I start, lest you accuse me of being Ableist (I'm not. In fact, with my levels of physical disability, to call me Ableist would only prove how little you know me), I want everyone to understand that I've been a disability advocate for a very long time, and that includes ALL types of disabilities.

This isn't some kind of hate rant. In fact, quite the opposite. Consider it a gentle reminder (or as close as I can come to one... sorry, I'm a sarcastic, strange little shit, and I often say things in an effort to be funny that most people misunderstand *shrugs*).

Also, please remember that the same rules always apply to my posts. Whatever I say here is based on how I interpret canon, my own headcanon, my own life experiences, and my own opinions. It is NEVER meant to negate someone else's experiences, or to invalidate their opinions. Please, as you read, keep this caveat in mind.

Okay... Now that we've got all that out of the way...

I've seen a lot of talk about how "Of course Aziraphale / Angel!Crowley are Autistic. That's just how it is, and if you don't accept that, you're an Ableist."

EXCUSE ME? Unless you can point to the specific passage in the book or the specific moment in the show where they say "Aziraphale is Autistic/has Autistic tendencies" or "the starmaker is Autistic and that's why he does what he does" then you can't actually go around calling people names if they don't happen to agree with your personal experience of these characters.

I'm speaking with my authorial hat on, here. If someone read one of my books, and decided to declare themselves the end-all-be-all of authorities on my character(s) and tore other people down as "Ableist", "aphobic", "homophobic", etc just because other people saw something different in one of my characters (and without checking with me, the author, for confirmation), I would be highly annoyed. And since Neil has made a point of saying "if you see a character this way or that, then they are this way or that to you" (I emphasized the last two words for... well... emphasis), that implies that your way of seeing the character(s) is no more or less valid than anyone else's.

Now, I'll admit to being out on a limb in my defense of Aziraphale to the point that I don't think he's the villain he's being painted as, and I'm willing to die on that hill (this is my choice... I'm not conscripting anyone else to die on that hill with me), but my take of that has always been the understanding that it's been repeatedly said by the authors (both of them, to my knowledge) that Good Omens is a love story, and as such, the implication all along has been it's about Crowley and Aziraphale. That would make Aziraphale one of the heroes, and not the villain.

Also, at no point have I ever dissed Crowley (in any of his states of being) as being worth less than Aziraphale, either. They are, as I have continued to repeat, a matched set. That's how I see them. There's no one without the other. I see them as not wanting it any other way, either, based on what I've read in the book and seen in the series (and heard on the Lockdown audio)...basically, every canon source (as established by Neil Gaiman) portrays them as an equal pair, who want only to be together. And that has been my argument against the Aziraphale-haters all along. That if they truly want what's best for Crowley, and what would make Crowley happiest, then they should want him to be with Aziraphale, because that's what canon has established he wants.

Now, if you are Autistic, and you identify strongly with how Aziraphale (or the starmaker) acts as being similiar to you, then absolutely, for you, they no doubt are that way, and you are more than allowed to see them that way, and tell the rest of us all about how you see them that way, and why you see them that way. Write lots of amazing, ASD fanfic/comics/etc to show us your views. You're allowed to do all of that. What you are not permitted to do is call anyone who disagrees with you or sees them differently than you do "Ableist," as long as they're not being mean/derogatory about what they're saying. Calling people names for having a different opinion about fictional characters is just being exclusionary, and if you don't like it, don't do it.

This same rule applies for aroace people, demi/ace people (like myself), or anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community. Please, tell us all about how/why you see Aziraphale and Crowley a certain way. Write lots of fanfic/comics/etc that display whatever your personal sexuality/gender identity is. Draw all sorts of beautiful (or raunchy, if that's your thing) artwork that displays how you see them. But what you are not allowed to do is call people names or accuse them of "excluding" you, just because they choose to present their own viewpoint, as long as they're not being actively derogatory or rude. You don't have to read those fics/metas or look at those images. There are settings to avoid them if you wish.

My point is... there's plenty of room in the GO/Ineffable Fandom for all views and backgrounds. We just have to take a step back from our own narrow lenses sometimes, and realize where we're crossing the line from opinion into hurtful/rude. And we all need to keep in mind what the entire point of this fandom has always been -- to celebrate one of the most equal, beautiful relationships (however you define that word) to span the gap between literature and film. And a relationship requires more than one person, so lets just celebrate both Aziraphale and Crowley, and turn all this angsty animosity into creating a combined will toward their reunion and a happy ending for them both, together, in whatever form of relationship that takes.

Can we do that? Please?

#good omens #good omens fandom #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #crowley #azicrow #ineffable spouses #gomens #gomens fandom #go fandom

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bylertruther · 1 year

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Im like slash gen confused on the gnc debate like what sparked this. Will is canonically the most visibly gay out of everyone in the show according TO the show, so why are people so against it? Like I get headcannoning mike as gnc but that doesn’t take away or mean that Will isn’t bc he canonically is. I’m Actually confused

I wish I knew lmao. People think that calling him that or acknowledging the misogyny involved in being assumed to be gay due to a perceived lack of masculinity is somehow homophobic and enforcing stereotypes. As if refusing to acknowledge a very real phenomenon that still occurs now and thus insinuating that "those" kinds of gay people are invalid is somehow morally correct lmao.

Will is the ONLY character who is called all of the many slurs he faces and he's the only character we've seen be targeted for his sexuality. Will has never done anything with boys—he doesn't get called a fairy because of that, he gets called a fairy because of the way he acts and how he exists outside of what Hawkins deems to be acceptable masculinity.

We know that he's a sensitive kid who isn't like anyone else and who gets made fun of. They call him names and they make fun of his clothes among other things. The words used to describe him—gentle, soft spoken, sensitive, artistic—were all euphemisms for gay (and still are in some places, since the internet does not reflect real life and we do not live in a homophobia-rid utopia). Like, this is part of his character design. Those are the words of the Duffers themselves. He's the only character that experiences any of that. If you want to consider actor opinion, too, Noah has spoken for years about how Will feels like he doesn't fit in anywhere, that he's sensitive, scared of everything, he's the one that takes care of his friends emotionally, and so on and so forth.

I don't know why it's such a big issue or why it's something so many people are, like... unwilling to even consider. Men get called gay whenever they're deemed "not masculine enough." Nonconforming behavior is a part of Will's homosexuality and that nonconforming behavior is what clued the people of Hawkins in to who he is. They could've just called him a twerp, or called him a nerd the way they do Mike, but they don't. Instead, they call him gay and a fairy and his father calls him the f slur and he has people ranging from his peers to adults talking about his sexuality. Like, not even Robin gets that treatment lol. Will is literally the only one, and they went out of their way to show us that first thing.

Will isn't a stereotype. Not being super masculine does not equal being super feminine. Gender nonconformity is not about just what you look like, and it's based on your society's values as a whole, not your personal leftist values. Feminine gay men exist and have done so much for our community, and seeing people inadvertently hate on them online makes me wanna throw bricks. Headcanons are not canon, and discussing canon is not a diss to anyone's headcanons because those are two different discussions.

This was one of those things that I naively thought everyone knew only to post about it online and receive so much hate about it. People get really defensive when you talk about how Mike is canonically written. The same thing would happen whenever I'd post in support of Mike with a sword. People really act like you're disrespecting them personally and get super petty and spiteful, and I don't get it. Have your headcanon if you want, but don't get upset that it's just that: a headcanon.

The Duffers nor Finn speak about Mike the way they do, and the behavior Mike has exhibited on screen does not support the wimpy, meek, known by everyone to be gay caricature that they cling to and suggest is actually canon. If it was JUST a headcanon to them, then they wouldn't get so upset about it, but they do. They don't like the way Mike's sexuality has been depicted thus far, and now it's everyone else's problem, too.

There's more than one way to be gay, and those experiences help shape who we are. Will has never fit in and instead has always stuck out. The fact that he's never been allowed inside, so to speak, is why he tries his best to embrace/explore his otherness and clings to people who can make him feel better for being different. Mike has always been Wrong—deemed a nerd, then a hellion, then a satanist—but he's able to blend in well enough to not be found out. He gets mocked and bullied, but at least he can pass as straight and be targeted for that instead of his sexuality. He still has a shot at conforming and playing by the rules, even if it isn't fulfilling or something that comes naturally to him. This is in part why he became so attached to Eleven and why he struggles to accept that he can still be worthy without her.

I just... I don't know, man. I'm confused, too, lol.

#asks

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professionallydeadinside · 1 year

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The princess bride is amazing for multiple reasons. One is that it plays with gender roles. The movie is told through a little boy being read The Princess Bride by his grandfather, and all the actual fantasy stuff happens within the book. It starts with the boy being really against it and saying its girlie but by the end really loves it and wants to hear all about the mushy romantic parts, and he isn’t shamed for it! If anything, his grandfather gives him more shit for being grossed out at love, and is really happy when the boy asks if he’ll read it again to him sometime. The Princess Bride has true, adoring love that conquers all obstacles, though not without struggles. It has genuinely violent villains who don’t hesitate to plot murder, war, torture, and vague almost abuse. It has puppets that are really big rodents, called the ROUS’s, or Rodents Of Unusual Size. It has a revenge plot that doesn’t end with “i am a better person and killing won’t make this better”. It actually ends with the person wanting revenge getting it! He has no moral better-ness and he doesn’t put his rage aside, and he isn’t made a villain for it! It’s made very clear that he’s good and right for getting back at someone who hurt him so badly! It has a character with some form of mental disability (not sure exactly what but he has trouble remembering, and has trouble with complex words and thoughts, though he can still articulate them, just with some struggling) who isn’t really shamed for it! There’s only one character thats mean to him about it, and he dies early! No other character acts like he’s lesser just because he struggles sometimes. In fact, one of them makes a point to accommodate him! He learns what helps the other remember things, what makes him more comfortable, and actively does things he know will help. There’s a scene in the movie that was so funny, Westley (the main man) has to be replaced with a dummy because his actor kept laughing during the takes and ruining them. Someone actually hurt their ribs by trying not to laugh. The main woman, Buttercup’s, feelings aren’t invalidated by any of the characters. The only time they ever kind of are is when there’s been a huge misunderstanding, but once it’s been resolved, none of the actual main characters treat her like garbage or like a stupid girl. She’s actually quite smart, and is able to formulate plans that, while they don’t work a lot, theoretically should. They have logic behind them and would work if the people around her were just a fraction dumber or better people. The main villain also doesn’t get killed in the end! They spare him, and show mercy to him! There’s also actual torture in it, and it shows male jealousy in a bad light, like it should be. When Westley is jealous, it isn’t played as attractive, and Buttercup fights back when he starts to be mean to her. When Humperdinck, the main villain, gets jealous of Westley, we aren’t meant to discredit it. We’re meant to see the cruel lengths that jealousy will drive him and hate him for it. And, as a bonus, between all this amazing storytelling and these mature motifs done in a way anyone of any age, gender, race, anything could understand, there’s still really strong humour. The story doesn’t take itself very seriously until there’s a scene where it has to. It toes that line beautifully. When there’s a reason to be funny, it is, but it knows when to be serious. They don’t crack a joke when Inigo is breaking apart and desperate, they don’t make fun of Buttercup’s despair and anguish and her want to die because she cannot live with her situation. A joke happens there, sure, but it’s meant to feel like a relief to her. Its meant to be like that joke is what will rip her from those thoughts, and it does! It’s showing her that she shouldn’t die because there’s another way out of her situation, she need only wait a moment to see it, but it never makes fun of what she’s feeling or invalidates those emotions. It can crack a joke when there isn’t much on the line, but it gives real scenes real devotion and care, and that makes it a

Okay finally had enough brain to read this and it sounds super interesting I'll watch it when I can wasdfghjhgfd

#SHOUTOUT TO SILAS WHO IS GOOD AT MAKING ME FUCKIGN WATCH MOVIES WKAJHGFDSDFG #answered

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alicentes · 2 years

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Seeing your blog have "Bellamy Blake defense squad" in it is honestly hilarious to me as a former fan of that show, and because I was just thinking about the bizarre amount of hate Edwina keeps getting as a character and how it actually kind of reminded me of t100 and specifically season 3 when a lot of fans turned against Bellamy as a character without even trying to understand his position in the season or at the very least understand that the writing was placing him in this position on purpose. It's one thing to complain about lack of proper dialogue writing or continuity but to continue to hate a character for said bad writing gets weirder as it goes on and that was especially continuous with Bellamy in season 3 and even now with Edwina in season 2. Do I agree with all the lines she was given this season? No, and I do think the writers could've tried to make sure there's better continuity between episodes so that viewers don't deliberately misinterpret lines as being the characters' faults (like saying Anthony 'warned her' about him not loving her when in truth he never said that to Edwina, he merely said he wasn't a man of poetry and barring Kate, every other adult pushed for the union because of his position and obvious interest in pursuing her). But the crux of what her character goes through is there, and to instead see fans bash her character while not allowing anyone else to discuss the other characters' faults feels pretty familiar to how t100 fandom operated back in the day, unfortunately. Thanks for being so understanding of these characters, btw!

Oh my god this is so weird because I actually was thinking the Edwina hate reminded me of the bellamy hate too right down to the racism and trying to invalidate the characters race and insist they experience a certain level of “white privilege”. I don’t know if you remember the whole “bellamy is white” thing from the 100 fandom and their insistence that Bob was “white passing” and had “white male privilege” when he had opened up about the racism he had experienced throughout his life. Now to a lesser a extend some fans have tried to invalidate charithra/Edwina’s race. They’ve been calling her 1/4 white edwina and insisting she has light skin privilege compared to Simone/Kate which is quite frankly bullshit because she isn’t light skinned and they’re invalidating charithra’s own race and experiences just like the 100 fans did with Bob so that they can.. insist their fave wins the oppression olympics?

Anyway I absolutely agree with everything you’ve said here and I’m glad you feel the same way about edwina and bellamy. Thank you❤️

Edit: I also realised another thing these fandoms had in common is being so much more understanding and forgiving towards the white characters like clarke, lxa, octavia, murphy and anthony, eloise, penelope, daphne

#bellamy blake #edwina sharma #racism

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fringyrasa · 2 years

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How Strange New Worlds led me to a happy place in a sea of negativity.

Not to sound like SUPER dramatic, but it's hard to be a fan these days.

I genuinely think this really started rearing it's head in 2013's Man of Steel or 2017's The Last Jedi, but this year especially, it feels like being in a big fandom is so hard to find a place to just talk about stuff you love without being drowned in negativity. I used to love to talk about Star Wars and Marvel with other fans, but honestly with Phase 4 and recently with Kenobi, I don't even want to anymore. Kenobi especially was like a miserable 5 week experience for a show that I loved. I love Ms. Marvel and honestly after last week's episode, I didn't even want to log on to talk about it because I just knew it was gonna be constant negativity. It was. I haven't even texted any of my friends about it because I'm so exhausted.

That's not to say you have to love everything (The "Just consume more content" meme is so annoying because it used to have a very critical point and now it's just used for every time someone likes a franchise product) Since the dawn of my existence it's been the balance of people who liked the thing vs. the people who didn't like the thing. But recently, it feels like it's just so many people who will argue with you to invalidate your opinion. It feels like we go into things ready to pick it apart. I had to distance myself from the Marvel and Star Wars fans because it got so bad. I used to love to go conventions and meet fans and just gush about all the stuff we loved, even if we didn't see eye to eye. As an introvert, it's like the only social thing I actually looked forward to and now I don't even want to do that. It was something I loved. It made me feel at home, where I could be myself and I just dread even bringing anything up with another fan.

And this is def a "Me" problem, but the discorse of these projects has made me feel so isolated and alone. Made me feel like I couldn't be myself, I couldn't feel at home anymore. Part of what I love about movies, tv, games, etc. is sharing that love with other people and I watched so much stuff this year that I just did in solitary because I didn't want to love something only for 17 replies about how that thing is actually horrible. I know that's such a small thing but fuck it, it's been a rough few years outside of fandom and to have so much negativity in my escape places, it made me feel depressed. The thing that was so much a part of my DNA, sharing my passions, felt like I could only do it to myself, and it was such a lonely depressing feeling.

That was until I saw Strange New Worlds. I had heard about the show, used to be a regular Discovery watcher (the show kind of lost me in Seasons 3 & 4 but I admit I still try to keep up with it) and knew this was something fans had been asking constantly for. I missed it when it aired, just picking it up on Friday and found myself binging the first 7 episodes straight. I LOVED it. Was everything perfect? Hell no. The show has a lot of flaws but I didn't even care. I was so in love with the characters and the presentation it was just such a joy to watch. I can totally get critical of the things I think it fails to do, I can defend it against some criticism that I just can't get on board with, but the thing that really solidified my pure love for the show was the fandom.

I came out of tumblr retirement for this. I didn't even want to dare to go on reddit or twitter to talk about this, I could already feel some of the responses. It would be trying to tip toe over the "bad writing" and "ruins continuity" and "this ruined my childhood" landmines. I really hoped I could find maybe one or two users here who felt the same love and excitement for this show that I had. Seriously, I just needed one or two. I was hoping I could just talk to one person who had the same joy I had. Imagine the smile on my face to find there were tons.

FINALLY!!

Are there people that hate the show or hate the parts I love and have completely valid reasons? Absolutely. I totally get it. But I can't tell you what a RELIEF it is to find people who love something you love. I feel like between Doctor Who, Star Wars, Marvel, His Dark Materials, and I'm sure more that I'm forgetting, it felt like finding those spaces where you can just share your love for something with other people who loved it, were getting narrow. I found a place where we can just enjoy something again and that feels so freaking good. For the first time in awhile, I didn't feel like I was in a sea of negativity, desperately holding onto an inflatable life raft hoping a like minded fan would come and rescue me.

Anyway, love you Strange New Worlds lovers, don't ever change. You actually made it feel good to be a fan again.

#Star Trek #Strange New Worlds

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c-is-for-circinate · 3 years

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Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."

So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.

To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.

They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.

And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.

There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.

But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.

What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.

There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.

We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.

(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)

We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.

The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.

The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.

Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.

And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.

Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.

Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.

#Anonymous #asked and answered #rape cw #incest cw #discourse #anti discourse day

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hellogoodbye14 · 3 years

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Wow okay so some folks on tumblr definitely don’t know how to use their tags and I’m kind of sick of seeing Rhys and Feyre slander going around.

Most of you already know that I adore the ACOTAR universe and the characters within it, I love the complexity behind each character. I love Nesta’s complexity too but her character is perhaps not in my top list. But do I go out of my way to throw hate? Nope. If i do, I.use.my.tags.properly.

So now that you’ve unleashed me, I will be debunking all your claims about Nesta being amazing and your slander against the iconic Rhys and Feyre. Be warned. 🙃🙃🙃

1. Nesta’s journey makes no sense whatsoever. This woman gave no explanation as to WHY she treated one of her sisters like utter fucking crap. If anything, her journey demonstrates that she kept competing with a sister who was starving and who was neglected. SJM offered no real reason or background as to why Nesta made the decisions she did and Im fucking sorry but this is not your typical sibling rivalry . This was pure god damn jealousy and disdain for a sibling that did them no harm. Don’t sugarcoat something SO TOXIC.

2. LMFAO on y’all hating Feyre taking control and taking Nesta away from a toxic environment. I have a brother who faced addiction and let me tell you I had to make some VERY difficult choices, one of which was forcing him out of situation he was in. Did he hate me at the time? Sure. Is he now healthy, happy and successful? Absolutely. Does he now tell me every now and then that he’s glad I did what I did? You know it. I did what I had to do for my brothers fucking wellbeing. FEYRE DID THE SAME GOD DAMN THING. If there is one thing SJM got right in ACOSF, it was definitely this.

Comparing her to TAMLIN? Hahahahahahahahahhaahah what.a.joke. Tamlin literally emotionally/physically abused Feyre and trapped her. What did Feyre do? Get Nesta out of an enabling environment, made sure she was in a safe space and still had her own choices (apart from her addictive choices for her health), Feyre tried showing her a healthier lifestyle to make sure Nesta wouldn’t spiral and kill herself with the trauma she had. Feyre fucking saved Nesta. AGAIN AND AGAIN. And you have the AUDACITY to hate on this queen. Y’all’s favourite wouldn’t even be alive and thriving if it wasn’t for Feyre. YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY to compare Feyre to Tamlin? Hahahah theres no similarity at all but you know who is similar to Tamlin in some aspects? Nesta. Just like Tamlin, Nesta repeatedly emotionally abused her little sister…. And yet again we had no reason for her behaviour.

2. The Rhys slander? Lmfao. Okay so you’re telling me that if you saw your significant others sibling constantly abuse and belittle them, you wouldn’t hate them? Especially when your significant other has done LITERALLY NOTHING TO THEM. His hate is justified but even with his despise, this ICONIC MAN still made sure Nesta had everything, had every resource. This man handed out an olive branch everytime and Nesta burned it to crisp for no reason. This man did all that because he loves his significant other and cares for her family as his own and you have the sheer audacity to hate on him as well. What a joke.

3. Lastly, I have had it with people invalidating Rhys’s fucking trauma. You can acknowledge Nesta’s but you can’t do the same for Rhys huh? Ive seen posts COMPARE traumas which is sickening and I wouldn’t do that but what I will do is highlight for some folks what Rhys went through and what they MUST FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE. This man faced the problem of harnessing a power no one has ever seen and control it, this man trusted the wrong man and then saw his baby sister and his mother die in agony, this man was sexually abused FOR YEARS, this man was away from his loved ones for years, this man had to see his mate die then see her come back to life and die slowly again at the hands of the same man who killed his family, this man died to save EVERYONE, this man had to see his wife and child almost die and you STILL INVALIDATE HIS GOD DAMN TRAUMA LIKE ITS NO BIG DEAL.

I have honestly tried my best to keep my blog wholesome but I needed to get this out because holy hell its been enough!

Peace out and oh yeah…. FEYSAND SUPERIORITY

#acosf #acotar #acowar #acomaf #feysand #rhysand #feyre and rhysand #feyre archeron #high lord rhysand #pro rhysand #pro feyre #high lady feyre #night court #nesta archeron #anti nesta

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kalocklyle · 3 years

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alright so I know literally no one cares about this but it’s my social media I’m doing what I want /lh

I’ve been seeing a lot of slander about justin russo on the internet lately and I’m currently hyperfixated on wizards of waverly place so here’s why justin is an awesome character/doesn’t deserve the hate he gets

He’s kind and treats those he loves well. Justin is canonically really good at comforting people. Although he argues with Alex a lot, at the end of the day, he’s also her older brother and genuinely cares about her. When Professor Crumbs threatens to take Alex’s magic away because she doesn’t turn her report card in, Justin says that Crumbs will also have to take his magic away. Justin is ultimately selfless. We see again and again the sacrifices he makes for Alex and I think we mainly see his kindness in that relationship. Despite that, I think he’s also notably kind to Juliet. When he finds out that he made the mistake of reporting Juliet and her parents, he instantly tries to fix it. Not only does he try to fix it, but he puts his job as Monster Hunter in jeopardy for Juliet and her parents - her parents haven’t even been that nice to him. Justin is ultimately selfless and at the end of the day, he sacrifices himself or what he wants for others. When Rosie turns back into a good angel, instead of selfishly continuing to date her and keeping her in the mortal world (which he could have done - she literally offers to stay with him), he gives her up because he realizes the world needs a guardian angel more than he needs a girlfriend. Even though it hurts because he loved her, he gives her up. There’s no “award” for doing this - he won’t move up a level in the wizard competition, he really won’t get any recognition for giving Rosie up. He doesn’t even get any recognition for turning the moral compass back to good. He does it because it’s the right thing to do. Although later I’ll argue that Justin is constantly seeking validation, I also think that the heroic/good things he does are often done with no expectation of being praised for it. He does them because he has a strong sense of morals. He’s also kind to Harper, Zeke, his parents, and even Max, who people rarely ever show kindness to in the show.

He’s in touch with his emotions. When the show starts, Justin is very against anything that will show him as feminine or emotional. In fact, he even says he’s allergic to emotions (or something like that) to cover for the fact that he’s crying over his missing dog. As the show goes on, we see Justin start to embrace and accept his emotions more and to lose touch with his toxic masculinity. I think dating Juliet changed him in a lot of ways (making him more relaxed, etc), and I think one was encouraging him to be more emotional. After Wizards vs. Vampires, Justin is pretty emotional and open about his emotions in the show. He’s even open with talking about them. In the movie, he opens up to Alex about how he feels like Jerry & Theresa wouldn’t love him as much if he were less “perfect,” which brings me to my next point.

At the end of the day, Justin is a sad character. I know it’s a kid’s show but they really do cover a lot of issues so bear w me. I’m hyperfixated and I like to over analyze shows so I’ve thought about this a lot. Justin is the oldest, which means he already deals with pressure to be perfect. Then, add in the fact that his parents are constantly describing him as the “perfect child” and putting him on a pedestal, while pitting the kids against each other as a result of the wizard culture bc of the family competition (I love Jerry & Theresa but they’re not perfect). He’s also a high achiever and we know he puts extreme pressure on himself to do well - they always make a joke about it but it’s actually quite sad. He literally feels poorly about himself when he gets a B and bases his entire self worth on his grades and skills as a wizard. In fact, in the movie he voices doubt about whether or not he’s good at anything other than magic. I have a few things I want to say about all of this. First of all, I think Justin is constantly seeking validation. I think as the oldest and “best” child, he feels the need to be perfect all the time, but he also does many of the things he does because he just wants validation. When Harper decides to run a marathon, Justin does too, and sadly his accomplishment of finishing it is overshadowed by Harper “winning.” I also think Justin feels threatened by the success of others because he thinks it invalidates his. When he opens up to Alex in the movie, he says that he’s jealous of her because it seems like everything comes naturally to her. Justin feels as if his parents loving his siblings takes away from their love from his. It’s irrational, but very real. Which brings me to my next point - Justin has generalized anxiety disorder. It makes sense - the overthinking, the outbursts he has (Alex refers to it as a conniption once) of panic or frustration, the overachieving, etc. As someone who probably has autism, I also think he’s autistic (which would explain his troubles with tone, struggle making friends, obsessions with things like Captain Jim Bob Sherwood and science, being better w robots than people, and so much more).

Ultimately, Justin has a strong moral backbone. Although he’s a stickler for the rules and this oftentimes leads him to do bad things initially, he always does the right thing in the end. For example, when Justin and Alex go to court and Justin duplicates himself to be his lawyer, his lawyer ultimately proves that Justin is guilty; he even says something along the lines of “We’re Justin Russo. We always do what’s moral and just.” Justin has a strong sense of justice (which could also be from being autistic but I could do a whole other post about neurodivergency coding in WOWP and Disney & Nick shows overall bc there’s a ton of coding) and does what he thinks is right, most of the time. Sure, sometimes he does bad things, but he’s also a teenager at the end of the day and he’s highly competitive.

Finally, Justin Russo is super progressive - in fact, he’s probably the most progressive characters of the show. He acknowledges climate change and actively tries to create a solution for it. In fact, for his science fair project he makes a water powered engine, which would reduce carbon emissions. He also wears a shirt at one point that says “Make art not war.” I will admit that his biases against the werewolf he dated were problematic, but he clearly grew from that because he never held any of that against Mason. He’s also into science and is a nerd and although this is a stereotype, most young people who are into science and are nerds are progressive. I’m pretty sure he also is well aware of current events and would probably read the newspaper. Also I myself headcanon Justin as trans and bi (again could make another post about characters in wowp that are queer)

Little note even tho probably no one will see this - this is all just for fun. If you disagree with anything I said, just say it politely hahsh. Also please don’t make fun of me for this WOWP is a huge hyperfixation and comfort thing for me rn and I just wanted to make a silly little post where I analyze one of my comfort characters. Also I kin Justin so pls don’t like hate on him in the comments.

#justin russo #wizards of waverly place #wowp #alex russo #harper finkle #juliet van heusen #max russo #theresa russo #jerry russo #russo siblings #disney channel #character analysis

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lavenderjacobs · 3 years

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fluff alphabet - Sapnap

➳ wc; 2,1K (she’s a long one lol) ➳ pronouns; gender neutral<3 ➳ song reccomendation; heart eyes - coin

A=Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a partner?)

nick’s an ass guy and you can’t convince me otherwise. he’s also just loves your thighs and your stomach. he loves how soft your skin is, and how good you smell. whenever he’s sad he just rests his head on your stomach while you tangle you fingers in his hair.

B=Best memory (Their favourite memory of you)

he cherishes your first kiss so much. he just has such a soft spot for that memory. the moment he finally found out you felt the same about him, the moment he finally found out what your lips against his felt like. it’s just something he had looked forward to for forever, and to him, it was perfect.

C=Cuddles (What type of cuddles do they like?)

sapnap is a WHORE for cuddles. if it where up to him, you two would just lay in bed all day, tangled in each other’s arms. after a long day, he just wants to hold his favourite person and fall asleep with them, so he just wraps his arms around your waist while he uses your chest as a pillow. but if he’s in a chatty mood, he’ll just talk your ears off, ranting about something he finds interesting, while you’re all snuggled up in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

D=Dirty mind (Do they have a dirty mind?)

I mean, come on. it’s sapnap. we all know he does. he gets *excited* very easily, which can sometimes get in the way when you two are just trying to cuddle. he just has such a soft spot for your body and has to have his way with you once certain ideas have entered his mind.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put in the relationship?)

nick would definitely try his best. honestly you don't care if his plans actually turn out the way he intented them to, it's the thought that counts. and nick knows that. but theres just something about you that makes him want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. so prepare yourself for fancy dates, him making you your favorite food, all that type of stuff.

F=First date (What was your first date together)

arcade date arcade date arcade date. sap is super competitive and I feel like he would thrive in an arcade. he would play it off like he was just trying to proof how good he was at the arcade games. but he'd just love to see how hard you would be trying to beat him. obviously he'd let you win a lot, and when he collected enough tickets, he would get you the biggest prize he could find.

G=Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)

it....depends???? lmao. nick CAN be super gentle with you, he’s pretty protective of you and would never want you to get hurt, so he’s definitely very careful not to do anything to hurt you. but sometimes his instinct just kinda takes over and well, he can get pretty rough.

H=Hands (Do they have nice hands?)

hmmm nick has like,,very manly hands,, if you know what i mean. i dont know, they're just so rough but yet so pretty??? and they're like really big compared to yours so when he holds ur hand, yours looks so tiny in his. and omg he won't shut up about it. "LOOK AT YOUR HANDS THEY'RE SO SMALL🥺"

I=Impression (What was their first impression?)

he just thought you were so ~cool~. like he immediately knew he wanted to be your friend. he was just so in awe of how funny, chill and charismatic you were. and it literally took two days for him to develop a crush on you. his friends would notice this right away and tease him about it so much omg.

J=Jealousy (Do they get jealous often? If so what do they do?)

YUP. nick gets jealous so easy yup yup yup. jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, you name it. you two would often get in fights about this, but most of the time you would just think it’s cute how riled up he gets. he doesn’t get mad at you (because you’re his precious little baby and can do no wrong in his eyes :D) but god help the souls of whoever tries to flirt with you, because they’ve got a hell of a storm coming.

K=Kisses (What type of kisses do they like/give?)

god nick’s such a passionate kisser. or at least he can be lol. he loves the way your face fits into his hands, and how soft your lips are. so he definitely is a fan of just some wholesome passionate kisses. but damn this man gets sloppy when he wants to. his lips constantly trails off to your jaw, neck and collar bones.

L=Love (Do they show their love?)

i feel like his love language would be like a mix between words of affection and physical touch??? he’s definitely very verbal with his love for you. he doesn’t shy away from saying i love you or letting you know how much he appreciates you in any other way.

M=Memory: (Their favourite memory in general?)

there are certain moments where nick just sits back, watches, and realizes how amazing his life is. and how grateful he is to have you. for example, you were playing minecraft on his pc, and your house kept getting blown up by creepers, he found it adorable how mad you got every time. he just watched you play, while sitting on his bed. after a while, you looked over at him, and caught him staring. “what?” you asked after letting out a soft chuckle. he felt like he was gonna explode from how much he loved you.

N=Nickname (What nicknames do they call you?)

i’m getting very strong “baby” and “doll” vibes from nick. he loves baby-ing you and smothering you with other loving nicknames. just any petnames that show how much he loves you he’s all for. he would also love calling you “pretty” or “beautiful” for obvious reasons.

O=Over (What happened the one time you ‘broke up’?)

nick HATES fighting with you, but once you two get into an argument he can get pretty carried away. he’s definitely the type to let his emotions get the upper hand on him. raising his voice a lot, stuff like that. but the second you leave to get some space he just breaks down. sliding down the wall and resting his face in his hands, just letting all the emotions out. he never meant to hurt you. when you came back to him, ready to be enclosed in his arms again, he had a hard time letting you back in. he just felt like he didn’t deserve you after he treated you like this. it took some convincing, but once you broke down his walls again, it was like he gave you all the love in his body. just smothering you with “i’m sorry”s and kisses.

P=Parents (What would they be like as a parent?)

dilfnap dilfnap dilfnap omg he’d be such a good dad. like just very caring and loving, but also strict and stern when he needs to be. he’d constantly be telling stories to the kids about the absurd adventures him and his friends would get into, and omg the dad jokes he’d make. idk maybe it’s my daddy issues but dad sapnap lives in my mind rent free.

Q=Quirk (Something special about them)

he loves holding your hand. especially in public. if you’re in a crowded space, he just holds onto you very tightly as not to lose you. or if you two are just going on a walk together, his hands would just feel so warm and soft around yours. and omg he loves it when his hands are in his pockets, and you put your hands in there with him, and intertwine your fingers with his. hmmm he gets so soft when you do that.

R=Romantic (How romantic are they?)

i- uh- I MEAN HE WOULD TRY he really would, and again, that’s all that matters. I feel like he would be the type to try to prepare a whole surprise dinner, he would cook all the food himself, he would set the table all cute, with candles and shit, but just completely ruin the surprise by accidentally giving it all away by saying something or just behaving very obviously suspicious.

S=Sad (What are they like when they’re sad?)

he just gets really quiet. he would never want to bother you or be a pain in the ass by complaining to you. but obviously you notice when something is wrong with ur bby boy. a sentence like “are you okay?” or “what’s wrong?” would immediately send him over the edge, burying his face in your chest, trying his best to supress his sobs. but he eventually calms down, and once he does, he’s able to just rant to you about whatever is bothering him.

T=Together (What are they like when you’re together?)

i feel like it would really depend on his mood, like he could be either SUPER chill, just wanting to savour the time you two had together. or he could be really hyper, constantly talking, wanting to do all kinds of activities with you. he’d be the literal definition of :D

U=Understanding (How understanding and empathetic are they?)

very. i just get such empathetic vibes from him. he’s such a good listener and he’ll just listen to you talk whenever you have something to be upset about. he never invalidates your feelings and omg he’d give the best advice.

V=Value (What do they value most about the relationship?)

he loves that he can 100% be his self around you. there’s no part of his personality that he feels like he has to hide, or tone down, whenever he’s with you. you also aspire him to be his best self, he just wants to be the best boyfriend in the world. all his friends have noticed this too, you bring out the best in him.

W=Wedding (Would they want marriage? If so what would they like?)

eh. if you’re a person who really values marriage, he’d 100% do it for you. but it’s not like he HAS to. he gets a bit scared by the idea of this whole big event, where everything is about you two, he would way rather celebrate the love you two have in the comfort of your own home, just the two of you. the one thing he would love about a wedding, would be seeing you all dolled up, walking down the aisle, omg he’d be the proudest man ever to be able to call you his.

X=X-Ray (How well can they read you?)

the SECOND you start to feel sad or depressed in any way, nick notices immediately. he knows you better than anybody else, and he knows exactly what to do to cheer you up. it’s like his superpower. if you’re feeling anxious he’ll just wrap his arms around you really tightly, holding on to you until you calm down. and when you’re sad, and in need for something to cheer you up, he’ll take you outside for a walk in the park, or he’ll just sit in bed with you, watching your favourite show.

Y=Yuck (What they would never want in a partner)

he hates when you flirt with his friend, even when you’re very obviously joking. his jealous ass can’t deal with that lmao. he also gets super pissed when his friends make flirtatious jokes towards you, they know how much it gets on his nerves and that’s really the only reason they do it. but omg he gets so pissed when it happens.

Zzz (How do they sleep around you?)

nick would be the cutest sleeper ever omg. he doesn’t like to admit it, but he loves being little spoon. he loves resting his head on your chest, while you play with his hair, patiently waiting for him to fall asleep.

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kkyujikoo · 3 years

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These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

#jikook #that freejk dumbassery

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cizzisblog · 3 years

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things that piss me off about dabi and fans’ reactions to this arc:

-Dabi is definitely, absolutely not justified in going after Shouto (who deserves none of this!! this boy deserves only love and support and some gotdamned therapy) ima just say that now.

-It’s also shitty of Dabi to say he didn’t care if Natsuo was hurt/killed.

-The canon characterization may very well be Dabi is so far down the path of revenge and has spent so long suffering alone away from his family members that he no longer cares for them/feels anything and is willing to proceed with plans to hurt Endeavor even if they are caught in the crossfire. However, I also feel it’s worth mentioning that right now, he very much seems to be caught up in a manic episode/meltdown/basically losing his shit. Think about it- he’s spent however many years plotting this moment and his chance to get revenge on his father and expose him to the world is finally here, and I think the likelihood that he’s saying whatever shit he thinks will hurt everyone the most is likely. That, or he’s so caught up in the mania he’s just lashing out at fucking everything. I think to some extent he means it, because he’s shown signs of being severely depressed and there’s a numbness that comes with that, but I also think deep down there is still some care there, even if small, or at least some acknowledgment that the other members of his family aren’t the main target and source of his suffering. He literally hasn’t seen them in years and it’s easy to say ‘I don’t care’ when it’s not to their faces. (Why send a tape specifically to Rei and keep track of her? Why not hurt Shouto at the summer camp when he so easily could have?) I think it’s also clear he didn’t mean to kill Endeavor with the previous Nomu attacks, but wanted him to succeed (in a ‘Build him up bigger so when I bring him down he falls even harder’ type of way. After all, Dabi obviously wanted to be the one to take down Endeavor, not a random Nomu.) Again, shitty he didn’t care that Natsuo/Shouto got caught up in it, but I think he didn’t think Natsuo would die due to Endeavor saving him. (Again, that doesn’t justify it, and is some twisted logic, but this is complicated.)

-I want to make very clear I’m not absolving Dabi of his actions, but as an abuse victim and someone who’s intimately familiar with familial abuse, his actual feelings do not make him a bad person and are actually more common than you’d think if you’ve never experienced abuse. When you’re suffering that kind of trauma for so long, you lash out at and feel angry at other people in the household, even other targets of abuse, because your abuser fucks you all up so bad and turns you against each other (even if not intentionally). It becomes a sick competition for attention even from a person who’s horrible and terrible. Dabi undoubtedly felt like he’d been thrown away and jealous of Shouto, the ‘perfect child’ Endeavor finally succeeded in getting (again, this doesn’t excuse him actually hating Shouto, but I can see why he might feel bitter). In a perfect world he would’ve dealt with those feelings with therapy and realized Shouto was just as much a victim and not murder attempts, but this is bnha lmao. Him wanting to hurt Shouto- a fucked up urge, but in a trauma-inducing environment as a mentally ill teenager, you can understand why he felt it. Acting on it is what’s truly fucked up. I also find it unlikely he doesn’t care for Natsuo at all. Natsuo, who he went to specifically for comfort for his whole childhood, not even his mother but his brother?

-At first glance, it may seem many “fanon” interpretations of Dabi are now ‘invalid’ or whatever but I disagree. Sure, we do know that he wasn’t secretly skulking about watching out for his siblings from the shadows- clearly. But narratives that involve him reconnecting with his siblings, remembering or learning to care for them again, realizing he’s hurting them and he isn’t the only one with trauma, reconnecting with his want to protect them as his family, etc. still make sense. People are not static. They still hold the capacity for change and healing given the proper circumstances. Most fanfic are AUs, given they don’t follow canon exactly and word for word, and characters can make different decisions and feel differently if different events happen. Even if you do want to write a very different characterization for Dabi, that’s fine, especially if bnha ultimately ends up doing the whole Todoroki narrative dirty.

-In conclusion: yes, currently Dabi is acting a madman and doing some very reprehensible things. He is a severely traumatized individual who grew up in a home involving copious amounts of violence. However, I do not think the point of all this family drama is just to say “fuck it, Touya’s dead now he was too far gone whoops! But heroes are good anyway!” I think it’s likely we’ll get some scene with him arrested and being confronted by Rei or Natsuo or something along those lines and see some regret. (Why spend so much time on this arc and show their reactions if they aren’t going to be involved at all?) Simultaneously, it’s also possible the story will go the “he’s too far gone” route and basically have him end up as a mirror of Endeavor: so obsessed with his own trauma he threw his own family under the bus for his own revenge plan. While possible, I think that’s a shitty and lazy way to go and disrespectful to Touya himself as an abuse survivor. He is definitely extremely deep in his revenge right now, but I do not want that to be the end of his character.

-I want Dabi to have to face up to his own actions. I want him to realize he fucked up and hurt people he shouldn’t have. I don’t think we’ll get some mushy apology montage, but we have not once seen all the Todoroki siblings together at one time, and I want Dabi to have to deal with the repercussions of seeing his family again and realizing oh, they were never the ones I should have hurt, and I don’t think he’s too far gone to do that.

-I think it’ll be really shitty if Dabi, an abuse survivor, is ultimately depicted as the insane lunatic that needs to be put down and has no chance for any kind of redemption while his abuser who bought his wife for eugenics and neglected/abused his entire family gets to walk free with a shitty redemption arc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware Dabi is a villain and as such is going to be on the losing side in a story where heroes win (I mean, it’s technically all a flashback from number one hero Deku) but he still has very valid points about hero society and how fucked up Endeavor truly was, and throwing it all away would be such a cop out. If bnha does truly go with the most insulting route for Dabi I feel it shows a lack of understanding for abuse and abuse survivors and fanfic authors are justified in ignoring and changing that for fics, especially if they’re abuse survivors themselves. I guarantee they’ll write better narratives about abuse lmao.

-Lastly: Dabi is a morally grey character. He’s a villain. But people who like his character or want to look at the why and how of his actions in a nuanced way are not just ‘dumb villain stans’ or whatever weird shit the bnha fandom has come up with. We just want this narrative to actually make some goddamned sense. Dabi’s actions are not all justified but do make sense in the context of his backstory and motivations and current mental state, I just hope to god hori doesn’t ruin it completely from here.

Edit: this post is also highly likely imo and also explains Dabi’s behavior (but as a reminder for those who don’t read closely, explaining something is not the same thing as justifying it.) “I can’t feel anything anymore” is a hallmark of being depressed/suicidal and his supposedly not caring for his siblings anymore most likely has to do more with his own suicidal state than aggression towards them. Dabi acting as manic as he has these last few chapters makes sense if he isn’t planning on living.

#dabi #Todoroki Touya #bnha #Touya #bnha 292 #Todoroki #touya todoroki #bnha spoilers #character meta

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hangovercurse · 3 years

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Mind Over Matter

A phone call at 4 in the morning turns into a very deep conversation with your good friend, Pete.

Pete Davidson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, existential philosophy

A/N: Inspired by Mind Over Matter by PVRIS

Word Count: 1771

There was nothing you hated more than being woken up at 4am on your day off. But someone had decided that they needed to call you, so you were awake. Your hand reached around for your phone, your head not lifting from the pillow. Once you found it you brought the screen to your eyes, squinting.

You couldn’t help but feel a little less angry when you saw Pete’s contact picture. Of course it would be him calling you at 4 am.

“Hey, Pete, what’s up?” Your voice came out scratchy and hoarse, a side effect of just waking up.

You could hear his heavy breathing on the other side, and your mind immediately went into worry mode. “Y/N I’m kind of really freaked out right now.”

You sat up on the bed, turning your lamp on, “What’s going on?” Your feet touched the cold floor of your bedroom as you stood up, stumbling tiredly to your dresser and throwing on a pair of sweatpants.

“I’m really trippin’ out right now.” You could hear how far gone he was now that you were more awake.

You sighed, stopping your rushed actions. “Pete, I thought you weren’t taking that much anymore? Remember you said you wanted to get better?”

He let out a breath, “I know, I had a bad day. But the drugs aren’t helping. Everything feels so much worse and I’m really scared. You told me to call you whenever I needed someone and I really need you.”

You tried to keep your breathing steady, so he couldn’t hear how sad you were. Pete had been working so hard to get to a good place, and he was so close. To hear him so upset crushed you. “Okay, I’m on my way over. Are you gonna be okay for a few minutes while I’m on my way over there?”

You grabbed your keys from your counter and threw on your slip-on vans. “Can you stay on the phone with me?” His voice was timid, and you frowned.

“Of course, Pete. I’m leaving my house right now.” Luckily, his house was only a few blocks down from yours, so you were there in no time. You stayed on the phone with Pete the whole time, not saying much but reassuring him you were coming.

When you got to his home, you walked around the house to Pete’s door. “Hey, Petey, I’m gonna come in, okay?” You asked through the door, hand on the handle. Your best friend gave you a small noise of confirmation, so you let yourself in. You found him sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the foot of his bed.

You walked towards him slowly, settling on the ground in front of him. You took in his appearance, the dark bags under his eyes, the tear tracks on his cheeks, the ruffled hair from him running a hand through it too much. He reached out and grabbed your hand, holding it in his. You didn’t want to force him to talk, so you sat in silence until he was ready.

“How do I know that you’re real?” He asked, his voice low.

You tilted your head, squeezing his hand, “Because I’m sitting in front of you.”

He shook his head, dropping your hand and letting out a sigh. “Yeah, but how do I know that this isn’t just something I’ve made up in my head?”

You smiled, “Pete, can you tell me what you took?” You assumed he was worried you were a hallucination from shrooms.

“No, that’s not what I mean.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I mean I took shrooms but I’m not talking about that. I mean how do I know that anything is real?”

“What do you mean, Pete?” You’d only seen this side of Pete a handful of times.

He looked up at you, his eyes finding yours. “I mean like, what if everything is just in my head? Like I don’t know that you’re real, I don’t know if anything is true. What if this is just some dream I’m having and I’m gonna wake up one day and it’s gonna be gone?”

You scooted closer to the man, your arm reaching out to him. “Reach out your hand and hold mine.” He did as he was told, and you intertwined your fingers. “Can you feel that?” You asked him.

He nodded, “But what if I’m just imagining it?”

You bit your lip, trying to find a way to calm him down. “Pete, this isn’t in your head, I promise. Your brain is just in a weird place right now. I am very real.” Your voice was soft, trying not to worry him.

“But I don’t know that Y/N. All I know is that I really want this to be real.” His voice gave away how scared he really was.

You reached your free hand to touch his cheek, rubbing your thumb over his skin gently. “I need you to trust me, Petey. I am just as real as you are.”

He leaned into your touch, a soft smile on his face. “I just don’t know how you can be real. Like I had to have made you up, no one like you would be friends with a guy like me.”

You frowned, moving so you were beside Pete on your knees, and wrapped your arms around him. You didn’t really know how to respond to that, he’d never said anything like it before. “And I mean, you’re so perfect. Like I feel like such a perfect person shouldn’t exist. That’s why I’m scared that you’re just some kind of dream.”

He leaned his body into yours, his head resting on your shoulder. “I’m not a dream, Pete. I’m really here, and I’m not gonna go anywhere.” You whispered, your nose brushing the side of his head. “If I wasn’t real, could I be holding you right now?”

He pulled away from you and you could tell he was starting to come down just a little bit, hopefully enough to pull him out of his thoughts. “I don’t know.” He mumbled, looking down.

You reached up to his jaw, moving his face so that he was looking at you. Your other hand ran through his hair, causing his eyes to close. “Could I do this?”

He smiled, looking like a cat whose head was being pet. “I guess not.”

You leaned closer to him, taking in all the features you knew so well. All the features you loved. And you knew you definitely shouldn’t kiss him, but if for some reason it went really badly, he probably wouldn’t remember and at least you would know. But you didn’t want to take advantage of his state. But it was just a kiss.

“If I wasn’t real, could I do this?” You whispered, your lips millimeters away from him. You paused, looking into his eyes, trying to read his emotions. You didn’t get much of a chance though, as Pete crashed his lips onto yours, one hand going around your waist and the other to the back of your neck.

You kissed him back, your lips moving together in sync. As cliché as it sounds, it felt right. As if you and Pete had been made for this moment.

When you pulled away for air, he rested his forehead on yours. “Okay, you’re definitely not real.” He muttered, out of breath.

You smiled, rolling your eyes slightly. “Eventually you’re just gonna have to accept that I am, in fact, a real person.”

“No real person like you would kiss me.”

“Well, I just did.” You smiled, “And I’ll do it again.”

You brought your head to meet his, lips colliding once again. Pete pulled you closer to him, so you were fully on your knees. He brought his hand to the back of your thigh, pulling your leg over him so you were sitting on his lap in front of him.

“Will you stop invalidating my existence now?” You asked with a giggle. Pete smiled, nodding in response. “Do you wanna talk about why you had a bad day?”

Your hand moved to gently run up and down his arm, trying to keep him calm. “I dunno, sometimes it just kind of happens, I guess. And then I got this email from Lorne about the show next week, and Colson won’t text me back, and I just got really messed up about all of it.” You nodded, letting him continue. “I’m sorry that I took all this shit. And that I called you so late. Sorry you have to deal with all my shit.”

You frowned, tilting your head, and resting one head on his cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry, Pete. You had a bad day, it happens. You took shrooms, it’s okay. Everyone relapses, its part of getting better. But Peter Michael Davidson, don’t ever apologize for needing me. I told you to call me, I want you to call me when things get bad. I’d rather you wake me up every day for the rest of my life than for you to suffer alone. I don’t wanna think about what could happen if you don’t call me.”

He nodded, and you smiled sadly at him. “You’re my best friend, Pete. I’m here for you, no matter what. People love you and care about you.” You paused, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He whispered, leaning so his forehead was resting against yours. “Can I kiss you again?”

You chuckled, pecking his lips before moving backwards. “As much as I would love that, you’re still pretty high. We need to get you some water and some sleep and then maybe, if you still want to kiss me tomorrow, we can see.”

He pouted as you stood up, walking to grab the water bottle from his desk. When you stood in front of him, he reached up with both arms, making grabby hands at you. You held out the water bottle for him to take, but he just swatted at it. You realized what he wanted and rolled your eyes, grabbing onto his hands and pulling him up, struggling against gravity.

“Can you stay here for tonight?” He asked, looking down at you with big brown eyes.

You sighed, knowing he probably wasn’t sober enough to be making that decision. “I’ll stay, but I’m gonna sleep on the couch.” You smiled, pushing him towards his bed. He whined, but you ignored him and walked away. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.” You said, shaking your head.

#pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson angst #pete davidson fluff

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chaotic-trav · 2 years

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Okay I have been thinking of the Adrien senti thing for like...a full day now lol.

And I'm not okay with it, I don't think I can be fully okay with it. This is not to say I hate this show! I hope it burns! It's trash! Because I don't, I'm still very invested in it and I still love all these characters and still somewhat want to see what they do with the senti Adrien thing.

It just doesn't seem to send the right message? Idk, as someone who relates heavily to Adrien, it just feels invalidating. Because this was the first abused character I saw on TV, that wasn't a broody and mysterious person, and while that's valid too, it was nice to see Adrien. Someone who went thru so much, but still chose to be nice and care, to be loving and make jokes to make people around him laugh, it was just validating. ( This isn't to say that Adrien still wasn't abused, senti or not. He was still abused, nothing erases that) And when I see Adrien not immediately rebelling against Gabriel? To be afraid of doing that? To still be loving him even when Gabriel hurts him so much and he shouldn't. ( Not all abusers always act like terrible people, sometimes they show love and small acts of kindness and it was really nice to see that for once) To just see him be afraid of standing up to Gabriel? Both because Gabriel could take everything he holds dear from him and because he loves his father and is making excuses to justify his behaviour, even when he shouldn't. It was all just very relatable and it was great having a fictional character like that.

And I hate that they made him a senti because..well sentis matter too, that's not my problem with this. This isn't me going Adrien isn't a real person anymore! He still very much is and so are all the other sentibeings ( kagami, Chloe, Zoe, Felix..I mean if Adrien is a senti then it's pretty definite all of them are too, right?) It's me saying it ruins his entire character arc in a way. Because like all this boi has wanted since the first ep was freedom and love. That's it. That's always been Adrien's biggest wish. And him being a senti? That's just saying haha! Guess what this character will always be at the threat of being trapped! Of being controlled! This character whose wanted freedom since the beginning,will always have to live with the threat of being trapped, because he can never really have true freedom since the threat of being controlled will always be hanging over him. And I hate that, because it just doesn't sit right with me.

My other issue is, how invalidating it can be to other people suffering abuse. ( If I offend someone here, please feel free to call me out...politely,but yeah feel free, this is just me dumping all my thoughts, but I'm really sorry if it offends someone) Because seeing Adrien not always being ready to outright rebel against his abuser, to be willing to go along with what Gabriel told him to, because he loves his father and is also so afraid of him, well it was nice because that's how it works, for me anyway. U don't outright rebel when your abuser holds every ounce of power over you, when they could take away everything you hold dear, especially when u still love them even tho u shouldn't. And it was nice to see Adrien doing that, nice to see it as a way he was conditioned to behave and his trauma response instead of you know it just be him being controlled by the ring. Because that's how it feels now, just Adrien being controlled by the ring, it just feels like that was his sole reason for not fighting back, that it's wrong to not fight back, (I'm going too deep now, ahem sorry) that the thing that people took as a trauma response just is...Adrien being controlled because he can't fight back even if he wants to because he's a sentibeing. It's like sending the message that every abused person out there is wrong if they don't fight back against their abuser who holds all the power above them. It's like they tried to give Adrien a valid reason for not fighting back, even tho the previous reason was still very valid and is a thing that actually happend in irl most of the time,it was a good message and then they just ruined it. It feels invalidating and I hate it, because it was nice seeing a character like that and now it just feels like it's ruined. Not fully. Again, abuse is abuse, what Gabriel is doing is still abuse, hell actually this just shows that Gabriel is truly garbage, wait no that's an insult to garbage, that can still be salvaged. Gabriel cannot be salvaged, he sucks.

TLDR:- Adrien being a sentibeing just makes it that the only reason he didn't rebel was because of that, and that feels invalidating because it sends the message ( maybe it wasn't intentional, but it still does) that it's wrong not to fight back against your abuser even when they control every aspect of your life. And also ruins his character arc in a way, because he can never truly be free.

This got too long, I am so sorry. Again if I said smth wrong, please feel free to call me out. (Politely) Also if your an Adrien salter,I respect ur opinion please respect mine and stay away.

#ml season four #ml risk #adrien agreste #sentimonster adrien #because yayy #tw abuse #i'm probably goinf to always be angry at the choice to make Adrien a senti #this isn't s/a/lt #just me being frustrated #that's it #please dont take this as salt

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 3 years

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We Met Within This Screen [chapt. 6]

[Donnie x reader]

sfw, chapter 5 here

Come on, save it, save it, Donnie chanted to himself later that night, at home and tucked away in his room trying to figure out how to neutralize the situation. He paced along his bed back and forth, phone in hand as he wracked his brain thinking about how he'd get her to let it go. He could tell her that she was...overtired? Go the stereotypical route and say it was just her eyes playing tricks on her? Try to play it off as human teenagers messing around on the roof?

She'd gone to bed already. He hated that he couldn't pursue the subject until morning, her morning, but by then, he'd be tired. When she woke, he slept. But he needed to get it resolved as quickly as possible, so he reckoned it was time to pull an all nighter. Luckily, that wasn't anything he wasn't used to.

He figured he'd get the preliminaries out of the way so he could get right to it when she eventually texted back.

"Good morning

I know you're not awake yet but I figured I'd get an early start today.

I want to know, what exactly did you see last night?"

He shut his phone off and set it down on the bed, fingers rubbing his temples. Depending on her answer, this would either be difficult, or near impossible.

The rest of his time was spent just waiting around for her to finally wake up, dodging all his brothers and trying to occupy himself with something. He was fiddling with the radio he kept on the floor next to his bed when his phone notified him of a message. Turning the volume up, some old-school rock played softly. He didn't always keep music on when he worked, which was what he was doing felt like, but something needed to fill the silence. It also made it feel more casual to have the radio on, for both himself and for whoever might stop by his room.

"Good morning to you too

That was...sudden??"

How nice it was to read those words coming from someone who wasn't his family. Not that they said it like that often anyway, but the small gesture hit differently.

"I'm just really curious about what you said you saw."

Curious? Not quite. More like dying to know, and not because he fancied himself some cryptid hunting.

"That's fair I guess

But don't laugh, ok?"

"I'd never, [y/n]"

"Well

Okay

They were big

But no like not the overweight kinf, not even just 'tall guy' kind of big

kind*

You know?"

Yeah, I aware. I'm 6'8" and have a giant shell on my back.

"They?"

He was hoping she'd only seen one of them. Maybe it would have been easier, but, of course, that wasn't the case.

"I think there were two

Idk it just looked really weird, it was dark but the silhouette from the light made them look bulky, I don't know what it was"

Lips pursed tight, he looked up from his phone, and all of a sudden that music in the background was suffocating. He quickly reached over and shut it off. He needed to be able to divert all of his attention to one thing. Except, even though he should have been spazzing over her spotting them (even if just for a split second), a concern crept up in the back of his mind that made him scoff at himself. The need to know was too great.

His eyes fell on his scaled, three-fingered hand as he typed.

"Did it scare you?"

Perhaps it wasn't what he should have been focusing on. But he was. He knew she hadn't seen much, but what if she quipped that it was frightening, or gross, or…?

"I don't know, Bo

I guess it was kind of freaky

Uh, do you actually believe me? That I saw something?"

"'Freaky?'" he repeated to himself in a whisper, brow ridge furrowed. What was I expecting?

He had to shake himself of whatever was going on in his head at the moment, because there were more pressing matters at hand. Like what he was going to answer her question with. Theoretically, he could go two routes; one, invalidate the experience and try to walk on the line of telling her that it was not real without making her feel crazy. And then probably get mad at him. Or two, go along with it, if he didn't have the heart to do that to her. The answer was already here; he let out a deep sigh. Two, it is.

Nothing could make him want to make her feel that way, even if it meant he'd have to put in a little extra effort in fixing his mistake.

"I wouldn't doubt your judgement, [y/n]."

"Thanks

That makes me feel a lot better

You're a really good guy, Bo :)"

Freezing, he sat and stared at the screen before slowly taking the phone away from his face, lips moving, but no sound coming out. He had no idea what to say; all he could focus on was the fact that the girl he undeniably liked thought he was a good guy. And that, presumably, it meant she might have liked him as well. Big on the "might", he realized as the logical part of his mind took over once again. Regardless, he licked his lips and got to preparing a worthy response. He didn't want to come off as flustered as he felt. Donnie was aware he was not particularly suave—he took solace in the fact that she couldn't see his face or hear his voice. He contemplated on acting a bit more "cool guy" than he actually was, but wanted her to like him for him, not a facade. Which was a major contradiction to all that he had done up to that point, but the least he could do was be the person he was on the inside!

"You there?"

"Sorry, I got distracted…

You really think so?"

"That I think you're a great guy?"

"Well...yes."

"Totally. 100%"

His heart was going, he was stammering to himself, and a new feeling enveloped him. He was no stranger to the different emotions; he'd gotten familiar with many of them. Because though he didn't always show it, he had a lot of feelings. These, he felt most viscerally. But he had to get back on track. If he could push last night's incident under the rug, all would be well. More well than it already was, considering.

"Thank you, [y/n]

To be honest, I've never had a friend like you

So, do you want to talk more about what you saw? I know I'm switching tracks quickly, it's just very….interesting."

It was a jarring and awkward subject change, he knew that, but he desperately wanted to get it out of the way. The sooner, the better.

"I suppose

You seem pretty interested in it"

Maybe she wasn't hanging onto the experience like he'd thought she would. There were so many tales of people seeing inexplicable things and becoming enraptured by the experience that he guessed he should only expect the worst, but it appeared that she was not so obsessed. Crisis averted?

"Not too much, I was just wondering

We can forget about it."

"Oh, I'm not going to forget about it, Bo"

There it is, he thought, not surprised.

After thirty minutes of attempting to throw her off without coming off as suspicious himself, he had to take a breather, reorganize his mind. Only to come back and find that she had to go take care of things, and that she'd talk to him later. He'd done as much fixing as he could; at that point, it was as good as it was going to get. The thought of being looked for by his unknowing friend loomed about in the coming weeks as they did their patrols, when they would pass by her residence, and the times that he snuck off to stop by himself. Sometimes accompanied by Mikey, but he tried to keep it as solitary as possible. Soon, watching her on her balcony from that roof became part of his routine. He vaguely thought sometimes that watching her like that could be considered creepy, but that ship had already sailed.

For the third time in the last month he was there yet again, on the same roof, watching the same balcony, watching the same girl. Sometimes they texted, sometimes they didn't. The times he wasn't talking to her as he sat there were the times he daringly crossed the threshold onto the fire escape. There were only a few instances of that. But did he still feel out of his mind doing so? Yes. The window only looked into part of the living room and kitchen, but he felt scandalous to do it. Most of his time there was spent only with his shell against the wall next to the window, just out of sight. He could always hear her faint but noticeable footsteps coming and could easily vault the railing and climb up or drop down. She couldn't get past his keen hearing unless she knew to tread lightly.

Mikey was with him once again, this time out to look for scrap rather than patrol. He'd been buddied up with his younger brother more often ever since their talk that night in Donnie's room. They only stopped by because they were already out and had a viable excuse.

"Does she know about us? Like, me, Leo, Raph..." rambled Mikey, curious, as he practiced one of his new moves with his skateboard. He kicked up onto the ledge of the roof and skidded before hopping off, tucking the board under his arm. "You guys have been together like, what, two months? And she doesn't even know your name."

Fiddling with the strap reaching around his shoulder, Donnie replied matter-of-factly to hide the embarrassment that was ailing him at the thought, "Okay, for starters, we're not 'together'. And secondly, she hasn't mentioned voice chatting in a while."

"And?" He got back on his board, zooming by Donnie.

"My name? It just hasn't come up," Donnie shrugged.

"Call her, then!" Mikey smiled, still preoccupied with his board and trying out his new tricks. Donnie gave a light scoff and shook his head. His brother passed behind him where he sat leaned against the water tower.

"I don't want to just call her out of nowhere, Mikey, she might be asleep."

He also didn't want his brother there when he did.

"You gotta not be so shy!...oh, look, in the window. Right there. See? She's up," he quipped with a small smirk. The curtain was drawn, but the light had turned on at some point, and they could see her silhouette moving past. Donnie looked over his shoulder to say something but felt a hand slip into his pocket on the other side, stealing his phone right off of him. He was fast, but Mikey was faster in jumping into his board and gliding all the way to the other side of the roof with the fussy turtle hot on his trail.

"Mikey, quit it!" Donnie barked, lunging toward him for the phone.

"You'll thank me later!"

The two wrestled for the phone, Mikey holding it just out of reach as he tried to navigate the screen without dropping it.

"Come on," grunted Donnie as the tussle led them near the edge, where Mikey held it precariously over the alley below. His glasses were jostled off his face when a stray hand bumped them, causing them to fall amongst their feet. Squinting, he partially knelt down and searched for the pair while still looking at his brother and his phone, trying to stretch his arm long enough to snatch it. "Really?" he groaned, "just give me the phone!"

Donnie slung out his staff and used the other end to whack his wrist from underneath just as he pulled away from the edge, losing his grip on the phone. Mikey tried to catch it but it bounced off his hand, going right over the side of the roof and plummeting down into the alley.

Mikey froze. Donnie finally found his glasses.

Laughing nervously, Mikey turned back to him, "Whoops…"

When he didn't immediately find the phone on the ground, Donnie knew what happened. He looked over the edge, and there it was, sitting on the pavement in the alleyway. The building wasn't incredibly tall, but enough to do some major damage. He'd have to switch for one of his spares if he didn't want to deal with a busted-up screen.

"I don't need your 'help', Mikey, so leave it alone next time," Donnie said and gave him a narrow-eyed look, huffing as he leaped down to retrieve it.

Mikey may have been insistent, but he knew then it was time to stop. All he wanted to do was help. For his shy, flakey brother to come out of his shell (no pun intended). Donnie, at that time, had the biggest shot out of all of them for something unique and good. He hadn't yet worked out the logistics of how to bridge the gap between the two, but it was a calling of his to help him along.

Donnie watched for people from behind a corner before creeping out to get the phone, which was face down on the concrete. No doubt cracked to all hell if not completely shattered, though it did have a case.

But as he got closer, he heard a voice. From the phone.

He picked up the phone timidly and shot a glance up at the roof, where Mikey was peeking over the edge in apprehension. Without a word, Donnie activated the taser in his staff, pointing it at his brother and zapping it briefly. He flinched and retreated out of sight.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Bo?" she asked again, tone riddled with confusion. "What was that?"

"Uh, yes—hol—hold on, please," stammered out donnie, flying around the corner and pressing flat against the wall as a group of laughing people passed by the alley. "Just one second," he said nervously. Above him, Mikey was rapidly motioning for him to get up there, eyes wide and body trying to stay low. Baffled, Donnie gestured back at him, mouthing at him to keep his pants on for one more minute while he made his way up.

"Hey, what's going on there?" she inquired, concerned.

A street cat abruptly skittered out from between his legs from the dumpster he stood next to, and he had to stifle a startled yelp. He hopped up onto the nearest fire escape, trying to control his breathing. "Hey, hello…[y/n]," he half-chuckled, distracted by working up the building one-armed as he kept as quiet as possible.

"What was all that? And who's 'Mikey'?"

There was suddenly a shout—Mikey's shout—and his stomach did a jump. He sputtered as fast as he could, "I'm sorry [y/n] but this really isn't a good time, and I mean it really isn't," he pulled himself up onto the roof, and there was Mikey, fending off men clad in black, "so I have to go, but—"

"Don, dude! I need help over here!" cried his brother, sliding out of the way as a sword was jabbed towards him. He countered with a harsh uppercut to the man's chin, sending him stumbling backwards. The blade fell to the concrete with a clank.

"'Don'? Bo, what the hell?! Who is with you? And—"

Donnie jumped into the battle, a mix of nine or ten armed men with swords other weapons, and Mikey trying to stave them off, swinging his chucks with nothing short of reckless abandon. But he still didn't hit himself with them.

Ending the call, he secured the phone in his pocket. He wailed the guy closest to him in the side of the head with the heavy staff, then kicked him in the chest. The man fell to the blow, and Mikey ducked underneath the length of Donnie's weapon just in time as the two came together. Stray bullets flew past them, some colliding with their shells as they spun around for protection.

"How was it?!" Mikey yelled over the clamor, breathless. Donnie sidestepped from the rapid hit he sent towards the human to his left.

"What are you talking about?!" Donnie loudly questioned, flummoxed of what could have been going on in his brain during a fight. "We're kind of in the middle of something here!"

"Your phone call!"

"Yeah, the hell's the talkin' about, Don?" a gruff voice cut through the jumble.

Both of the boys whirled around to see their older brothers there, weapons drawn.

"Oh, right. As soon as I saw those bad guys coming, I let them know," said Mikey casually to Donnie, throwing his fist into the face of the man coming up behind him. "You know, standard biz."

With the rest of the team there, the fight was over twice as fast. Some groaning in pain and some unconscious bodies littering the area, along with their weapons. Leo finished the last one and sheathed his swords, eyes on their tallest brother while Raph kept watch around them. Donnie swallowed as Leo approached him.

"Don, you said you were going out for scrap metal," Leo stated.

In the background, Mikey grabbed his skateboard and was going to try to kickflip over one of the knocked out guys, but Raph yanked the board from him, growling. He checked all of the men to make sure they were down and would stay down.

"We were...just on our way back?" Donnie answered. Nearby, there was a small pile of scrap he'd collected, though definitely not enough to justify being out that long.

"So you stopped at your friend's place?" Leo deadpanned, crossing his arms. "Didn't you think that this could get her in trouble, too? Her apartment's right there, dude!"

Mikey budded in and corrected him, "Ah, we stopped by [y/n]'s. And nah! It's all good."

Donnie's face twitched. "Of course I thought about it! That's why I've only come here three times since, and only thirty minute intervals!" he bit back, throwing his hands up. The rest of his brothers all looked at him and his specificity. "I'm not naive, Leo."

The leader pushed past the both of them, signalling that it was time to leave, and they followed. Not before Donnie got what little metal he had collected and put away his staff, tucking the stuff under his arm. Raph joined alongside Donnie as they ran. "What's with all the secret' stuff, Don? First, ya hide it to begin with, then, ya make out like you were done, and now you get jumped by Foot guys by her place when you shoulda been gettin' scrap!" he said. "How were we supposed to cover for ya if you're lyin' even after we let you off?"

"Technically, I did get some!" Donnie remarked. He held up a piece of the scrap for him to see, and Raph snorted. "But..."

Well, his question would be a little harder to answer.

Next block was the nearest manhole, where each turtle swiftly jumped in, knowing by heart (and years of wandering) most of the sewers and the way back home. In some tunnels was Mikey's telltale graffiti, but it was scattered throughout the place enough to not be a giant arrow to their hideout. In the last portion of the run was the tunnel they always slid down, and once they were actually home, Donnie knew what was coming. Master Splinter was already waiting for them by the time they arrived.

"Uh-oh," Mikey said upon seeing him, sinking behind his brothers. Raph pushed him back up front.

Dropping the scrap in his arms, Donnie squeaked, "That's not good." He quietly cursed how high pitched his voice became when he was nervous.

"Yeah…" Leo cleared his throat, looking down at his hands clasped in front of him. The situation had an awkward tension for everyone in it, save for Raph, who was immune to it by then and Splinter himself. "We took care of the soldiers," he added more seriously. "Got out of there before too much attention was drawn.

"The police may be able to handle them from here, but it will not make a dent in the Shredder's forces," explained Splinter, grave as he paced along the line of brothers. "He owns the city. Until I say so, there will be no venturing to the surface. You are all lucky to be unharmed."

"That ain't it," Raph piped up. "But they'll be bringin' the big guns, next time."

"Oh, I am well aware."

"Um...of which thing?" the nervous turtle questioned, exchanging glances to Raph and then Mikey.

Splinter raised his brows knowingly, and that was all it took for Donnie. The floodgates of his signature anxious chatter opened. He grabbed the edge of Mikey's shell and pulled him over into the spotlight with him, "I met someone over an online game and we started texting after a few weeks, and—and Leo found out and I said I would stop, but we never told you," he gestured toward their brother in blue, who refused to make eye contact, "so I told her that it was through and then Mikey somehow convinced me to go back on it," he sucked in a breath, and Mikey grinned uncomfortably, "and then we started talking again and I don't know why, but I went back there to her apartment building and it was just…stupid."

There was a cumbrous pause. Donnie was stiff as a board, Mikey couldn't look at any one thing too long, Leo stood in his polite but awkward stance, and Raph started to whistle.

As poised as ever, Splinter spoke. "I know."

All four pairs of eyes shot to their father.

"What?"

"Uh..."

"Huh?"

"Wait."

They expressed their collective confusion at the same time, and Splinter chuckled. Donnie wanted nothing more than to be able to retreat into his shell, but that was physically impossible. "Nothing gets past me, especially not you and your nervous habits, Donatello. You are scratching that spot on your neck again, son."

Flinching, Donnie pulled his hand away. He'd be damned; Splinter was right.

But unbeknownst to them, there had been spectator of their fight on the roof that night.

————————————————————————————————

shh do not think too deeply about this my children

a/n: haha plot device go brrrr

i need to finish this cursed fanfiction

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franniebanana · 3 years

Text

CQL Rewatch - Ep 21

Note: I will be critical of Jiang Cheng in these posts. If you can’t handle that, please feel free to scroll on.

I really like this hug. I mean, if you've been reading these from the beginning, you know how much I love wangxian, but I'm really glad that Wei Ying's first actual hug after returning from the Burial Mounds is with Jiang Yanli. I'm not counting the hug with Jiang Cheng, because Wei Ying didn't hug him back. That hug was thrust upon him and he did not reciprocate. This reunion is very sweet, and tear-filled, and if I hadn't been up since 3 am, I might be feeling enough to shed a tear, myself. That being said, it's hilarious how they keep showing Jiang Cheng in the middle, looking awkward as he tries to balance joy and sadness. I get what the director had in mind, but it just looks weird lol.

But this part is also super sad, because Wei Ying again makes a promise he can't keep: that the three of them will be together forever. Now, I realize that if you hadn't read the novel or weren't familiar with the story, you should already know from the first two episodes that things do not turn out well for the three of them. However, if you're like me and have the memory of a goldfish, you probably didn't realize who everyone was in the first two episodes and even if you did, you've already forgotten long ago that Jiang Cheng was pissy and angry around Wei Wuxian and that Wei Wuxian's inner monologue reveals to us that JIang Yanli is dead. All that being said, his line about staying together forever hits a lot differently when you're very aware of how the story turns out, because Jiang Yanli dies, Jiang Cheng grows to hate Wei Wuxian more and more every day, and Wei Wuxian, of course, defects to save the Wens from slaughter. I think "let's stay together forever" is something you say and mean, but something that you know can't ever truly be. I think Jiang Yanli is old and wise enough to know that she will eventually marry and leave Lotus Pier, even though she will resist it for a while. The rest is uncertain, but I think at this point, Wei Wuxian really does believe and want to stay with the Yunmeng siblings and to stay at Jiang Cheng's side as he leads the Yunmeng Jiang Sect.

I will never not be heartbroken by this scene--even knowing how everything turns out--by how Lan Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian, how if things had been different in Yiling, he would have gone into that room and greeted him, how Wei Wuxian would have smiled at him and beckoned him inside, how they would have sat and Wei Wuxian would have talked Lan Wangji's ear off, like old friends. It's just so upsetting to me, and I can't ever shake that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know what happens, but these two episodes, until they reconcile, really get to me. It's a horrible feeling when you want to help someone, but they don't see it as helping, and they only get upset with you. I deal with that on an almost daily basis, and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. I really identify with Lan Wangji here, and I think that's why I get such a visceral reaction to seeing him like this.

I don't know if I've said this, but Lan Wangji is my favorite character in CQL and in every adaptation of this story. He is kind of my perfect character--he checks off all the boxes: one-sided love, pining, standing by the main character no matter what, practically abandoning his own family for the person he loves. I love that he has an almost child-like innocence, but he's still very wise; he's smart; he's strong; he has a strict moral code and he sticks to it without fail, even if it means going against his friends and family; he's a loner, but he loves deeply. When I first started watching the donghua and reading the novel, I liked Wei Wuxian the best, and he's still my second favorite character, but Lan Wangji has stolen my heart.

Of course, Wei Wuxian goes to this awkward dinner party, after spending three months around ghosts (and then killing a shit-ton of Wen soldiers), and all he can think about is that empty seat behind him, the one where Lan Wangji should be sitting. It's interesting how the Yunmeng siblings each react: Jiang Yanli starts to become concerned and commits it to memory. She's probably wondering why Lan Wangji isn't there, and then seeing how Wei Wuxian wistfully stares at the empty seat, she finds it even more unsettling. Jiang Cheng just seems embarrassed by Wei Wuxian here and his motivation is to get Wei Wuxian back on track so he doesn't make fools of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect in front of the other leaders. He obviously knows what happened between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, and I don't think he's bothered by it at all. He doesn't seem to care whether they're friends or not, and I'd say that even at this point, he'd prefer if Lan Wangji stayed out of Wei Wuxian's life altogether. He knows how close they were, and I think he also knows that Wei Wuxian would choose Lan Wangji over him if given that ultimatum. With Lan Wangji out of the picture, Jiang Cheng gets to maintain more control over Wei Wuxian than he otherwise would. Even later on at Lotus Pier, he wants Wei Wuxian around, helping him, being his right-hand man. He doesn't want him wandering around the city or galavanting off with other cultivators. Granted Wei Wuxian was drinking at the time, but I don't think that invalidates my point that Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to stay in line and stay at his side where he can control him. You know, because he sees the relationship (as Wei Wuxian suggested) as the same as their two fathers: where Wei Wuxian is in a subservient role to Jiang Cheng. Mind you, that's different from seeing him as a brother, and I think, while there's some of that mixed into his other feelings, it's a very small portion.

No screenshot, but the following scene, after Wei Wuxian leaves the dinner party, Jiang Cheng follows him out. And even here, he asks what's wrong--asks if he's upset because of Lan Wangji--but then scoffs at how that could really be what's bothering him. He says something like, "Why did you come here just to be disliked by him?" I think while he gets that they have a close bond, he doesn't really understand the depth of the relationship. He's jealous of Lan Wangji, but doesn't fully understand why. Ultimately, I think Jiang Cheng, because of his parents and the way he was raised, really doesn't understand what it's like to have a good relationship with anyone. And this ignorance isn't his fault--he's a product of his parents and surroundings, and no one, including himself, has ever tried to fix this. So, without being able to really understand how relationships work, he scoffs at how Wei Wuxian could still be upset over what happened with Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng essentially gave Wei Wuxian what he wanted in that moment, which was unconditional support to carry out his revenge, and yet Wei Wuxian is hung up on Lan Wangji not being supportive there, and in fact being in opposition to him. Jiang Cheng doesn't even really have friends, so he thinks Wei Wuxian should just get over Lan Wangji and move on with his life, but it's not that simple. Lan Wangji isn't just an acquaintance, he's not just someone that Wei Wuxian partnered up with to fight a battle or carry out a mission--he's a soulmate, a kindred spirit (if you want to go down a less romantic route).

I rarely can say anything bad about Jiang Yanli (except how she's almost always making soup), and here's another example: Chenqing. She's so far the only one who supports Wei Wuxian having a first class spiritual tool. She immediately shows interest in the flute, even encourages him to give it a name. Lan Wangji immediately sees the flute as something bad, while she's completely supportive. And this is really what Wei Wuxian needs right now, and I love her for being there. She's also about the only person he will genuinely smile around. He gives everyone else forced or fake smiles, but not Yanli. At this moment, I think he only wants to be with her, and I can't really blame him when everyone else is either opposing him or just wanting something out of him. She really is coming from a place of sympathy and comfort that's different from how the others are handling things. Lan Wangji wants to help, yes, but he tries to force it.

Imagine being in this room, listening to Jin Zixun (I'm not even sure if that's his name lol) trash talk Wei Wuxian, wanting to say something in his defense, but being unable to, not just because it's not your place to do so, but also because you're not even sure if you can defend him anymore. I think Jiang Cheng is struggling with the same. He stands up to Jin Zixun, finally getting him to shut up by saying that it's a domestic affair for the Jiang Clan and none of his fucking business, but Jiang Cheng also struggles to find excuses for Wei Wuxian. And that would certainly be difficult, because Wei Wuxian is somewhat like a stranger now. He's similar, but he's not the same Wei Wuxian that Jiang Cheng grew up with. He's really a shadow of his former self. But Lan Wangji has the added bonus of not being able to speak on his behalf because he's not even in the same clan--who is he to defend Wei Wuxian? He can't even stand with the others at the table (can't or won't, I'm not sure), so he certainly can't speak to Wei Wuxian's honor in front of all the other leaders. I'm sure the conversation back in Yiling is still running through his mind: this is a Jiang Clan affair--and to have that repeated again to someone else. That very much puts Lan Wangji in the "other" position. He's not in Wei Wuxian's clan, therefore, it's none of his business. He should care about him. He shouldn't try to protect him. He shouldn't try to guide him. But the problem is he still cares deeply about Wei Wuxian, and he wants to help him and protect him and guide him.

These scenes are always hard to watch for me (thank god for the special edition cut). It's really hard to watch the clans doing to the Wens what the Wens have done to the other clans. As if war wasn't already terrible enough, you also have what happens to the prisoners of war. In this case, Wen Qing's sect are all healers and have little to do with the war that the rest of the Wen Clan was waging on the other cultivation clans. However, they are still treated as enemies and imprisoned. It's difficult to watch the other clans, who you want to root for, making the same mistakes and transgressions as the Wens, who we are supposed to look at as the proper enemies in the story.

As we've seen a few times in this episode already, Wei Wuxian is having trouble controlling all the negative energy that's surging through him and the Yin iron, and on some of those occasions, he's touched his old wound. As he does this here, everyone looks at him, but he just looks at Lan Wangji. This is the person he cares most about in this room, the person whose heart his closest to his. I have nothing profound to say--I just like it.

And of course Lan Wangji looks right back at him. He knows Wei Wuxian best, even better than his own "brother", Jiang Cheng. He knows what happened in Xuanwu Cave, he saw the effect the sword had on him. I feel like each time they exchange glances, they are both crying out to each other, but Wei Wuxian is too stubborn to ask for help and Lan Wangji doesn't want to force the issue and strain their relationship further.

The way Lan Wangji hesitates here before saying, "I don't know," kills me. To him, it's just further proof of how Wei Wuxian is getting farther and farther from him, how the chasm between them just keeps growing. He's upset here. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to force Wei Wuxian to do anything--that's against his clan rules, but more importantly, against his own ethics--yet he doesn't want to stand by and do nothing while his friend destroys himself. I think we see Lan Wangji as a character who always knows what to do, someone who always knows the right path, but here we see how that's not true at all. This is a man who is very smart, very clever, but who is also unsure of himself. He's struggling with what's right and wrong. And he consults his brother here, hoping to get a clear answer, so that he'll know what to do next, but he gets nothing of the sort.

It would have been easier for Lan Wangji if his brother has simply said, "Wei Wuxian is wrong and an enemy," but of course he's more wise than that. Nothing is black and whit, and humans cannot be judged for what's on the surface. You have to look deep inside a person, know their intentions, and then you can judge if they are doing what's right or wrong. The problem is Lan Wangji doesn't know Wei Wuxian's intentions. Months ago, he know Wei Wuxian wanted to defend the weak, protect people who couldn't protect themselves, and live by such a just moral code. But now Wei Wuxian seems like a stranger, has murdered many, many people, and has taken cruel revenge upon Wen Chao and Wang Lingjao.

What I've noticed in this episode is that Wei Wuxian will look at Lan Wangji, but he always averts his eyes fairly quickly. It's as if he's afraid if they make eye contact for too long, he'll be letting Lan Wangji in, which he does not want to do under any circumstances. Letting Lan Wangji in means admitting what's going on as well as opening up Lan Wangji to danger. Wei Wuxian does not want anyone else getting hurt or dying because of him, so it's better to reject everyone and focus on his own clan.

Honey, I'd walk away too. It's hard to tell if Lan Wangji is about to cry or about to punch Wei Wuxian in the mouth--either one would have been excellent, but I'm leaning towards the latter. Lan Wangji had to answer Jiang Yanli. She met him by chance, but it was she who initiated the conversation. Of course, angst rules being what they are, we had to have a misunderstanding a la Wei Wuxian walking into the conversation midway and making the asinine assumption that Lan Wangji was just breaking his confidence by telling her EVERYTHING. Of course, anyone who knows Lan Wangji knows he'd never do such a thing. But when Wei Wuxian's shijie comes to him, voicing her concern and asking about him, he has no choice but to empathize with her and tell her what he knows.

I really like this little exchange. Reliving the fight on the rooftop, before they were acquainted, before they were friends--before Lan Wangji fell for him. This time when he attacks, it's not about malice, it's not about breaking the rules and bringing liquor into the Cloud Recesses--it's a man, looking at the one he loves, scared out of his mind, worried that that man is going to destroy his mind and body, using a taboo cultivation method. This fight is a love letter, as far as I'm concerned. It's an act of desperation.

Also I fucking love that around four or five people have asked Wei Wuxian where Suibian is, and each time he makes up a lie: he forgot it, he isn't in the mood, he didn't bother to bring it. But when Lan Wangji asks him, he doesn't respond. He doesn't lie, he doesn't laugh it off--whatever he does, Lan Wangji will know that he's lying, and Wei Wuxian knows that.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

#wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #cql #the untamed #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wwx #lwj #ep 21 #cql rewatch

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