#i kept meaning to and then did not
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things haven't been great
but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
#personal#comics#tw abuse#digital art#personal comic#for the record no i don't think my mother loves me#but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time#the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc#but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive#like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok#art tag
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literally everything having to do with ron delite is hilarious. doesn't know what he's talking about ever. became a criminal to fuel his wifes shopping addiction. so pathetic that he gets declared innocent for a crime he's guilty of. when asked a question by his own lawyer he asks phoenix what HE thinks. admits to a murder he didnt actually commit several times on accident. found a dead body and instead of calling the cops his immediate, innate reaction was to hide said body. when asked why he hid that body in the safe his response is that it wouldnt fit in a drawer. confesses to being a criminal but the court cant do shit about it because of double jepordy. uses his freedom to run a rehab center for thieves, only to sell heist plans to said thieves. also uses his freedom to team up with his wife to continue stealing. flirts with another man in front of his wife and also an entire courtroom
#i didnt mean for it to get that long but then i just kept remembering things he did#funniest part is that i could name MORE if i wanted#ron delite#ace attorney#eto shut up challenge
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councilor 3D model
i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him
[link]
please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)
currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.
#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild#have fun playing toys with him#ultrakill#councilor#councilor ultrakill#3d stuff#obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on#so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks#(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored#i had to add them#to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result#but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but#i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this#i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project#and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going#(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making#but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost#so thank you guys for liking it <3#i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head#but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe
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"Abduct is SUCH A strong word, pal! But yes."
#fe three houses#yuri leclerc#balthus von albrecht#bernadetta von varley#so i kept hearing someone say the hoes are in shambles and i tried to find out its origins after i started to draw this#and then google told me did you mean the vibe is in shambles so im like WHAT i mean MAYBE#so then it told me the economy was in shambles and I am just WHAT ???????????????????? you have got to be kidding me#i really thought the hoes were in shambles was a meme but its memeing on a meme i should have known#in other news hello i dont know most memes im really stupid and i dont watch enough to know the origins
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#spinda#AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky#whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct#ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way#have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby#ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚#but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in#shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun#i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café#which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing#it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around#and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere#nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately#not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever#their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig#shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!
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☆ you sow; & thus you shall reap what you are owed
{☆} characters tsaritsa
{☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader
{☆} warnings blood, violence
{☆} word count 0.8k
You are dying.
Gold melts into the dirt, bleeds into the very earth that you'd molded by your own hands – a familiarity you do not understand the source of – you know it to be true, yet you do not remember it as Teyvat does. It weeps, in turn, for the way you bleed upon it, the way your lungs strain for breath.
It is fury and sorrow and fear and hatred so raw that your mind buckles.
You will die.
"A dying godling and its judge, it's jury – it's executioners," The voice is hollow and cold, sweeps across your broken body like the first chill of winter, "Archons who saw themselves Gods, now brought to heel by their own hubris."
A cold hand upon your cheek, the brush of a thumb across your lip, the gentle caress of cold across your skin. You know her – you don't remember, you shouldn't recognize her but you do – and she knows you. The cold beckons and you follow, let her kindness settle in the hollow space of your chest. You want to speak, to cry and scream and rage, let the world burn around you in a fit of flames so hot even she cannot contain it – but she silences you, quiets the anger seeping into your blood, quiets Teyvat itself.
"Do not speak, little godling. Guide my hand," She is cold; her hands are not gentle, yet it is bliss compared to the callous, cruel hands that have shattered you. She is cruel and cold and brutal but she is love in the way she kisses the crown of your head. She is love in the way she is the bulwark between you and the world that has scorned you – she is fury in the way she brings them to their knees. "And I shall enact judgement most divine."
They will pray for forgiveness, and they shall find themselves wanting.
"It wasn't our fault!" They cry, but you cannot recognize the voice – it breaks and cracks like glass. "They were too human. How were we meant to know? We– we thought they were.."
Silence.
You watch your judge – the executioner, the blade that shall carve their sins into the very marrow of Teyvat, stand above you like death. As cold as winter and just as brutal. Your temple has been painted in the gold of your divine blood, and she shall complete the masterpiece with their own. The Archons shall become the grandest art in the world – this temple the canvas, their blood the paint and their bodies the palette. The cold that cuts sinew cradles you – it sings to you, whispers sweetly in your ear and carves bone from body in the same breath. The cold presses it's lips to your wrist and it cradles a heart within it's palm – judges them and finds them guilty.
It is her spear that rests between their ribs, her sword that dissects and her dagger that carves – the cold devours.
In the breadth of this divine sanctuary, the Archons dwindle. They become the pieces of a divine work of art, they bleed and bend and break upon her hands. She shakes the heavens and carves mortality into the bones of the divine – your word is Law, and you weave their deaths into the roots of Teyvat itself.
They shall know of their grand folly in every moment henceforth and longer still and they shall weep.
And as the curtain falls, as the world crumbles beneath fist and blade, she cradles your face between hands too cold – as gentle as a shard of ice between your ribs, as brutal as the kiss of gentle snowfall. The world buckles at the loss of six, but she alone does not allow it to break – you will have to mend the wounds of the world when you are well, but today you weep and Teyvat weeps with you.
And alone, the cold remains.
Stone has eroded, the wind has ceased, the flames have been extinguished, the storm has been silenced, the forests have gone quiet and the seas go still.
But the cold remains, bathed in gold.
It wraps you in thick furs, cradles you against the winter storm that brews beneath a veneer of composure. It brings you home – lets the world settle into a stillness and silence that inspires only dread and still she presses a kiss to your brow.
It is cold, but there has never been something so warm.
Where hands have broken you, she drapes you in furs, wipes away the thick gold that clings to your skin. She pieces you back together where you have been shattered, reshapes you where you have been bent – makes of you something new. Not a god and not a mortal but something wedged between them.
But you are yourself.
And you are where you belong.
They shall put you back together and you shall know only the worship worthy of the divine. They shall carve this world into your image, tear out and burn away the rot that festers.
All you need to do is say the word and they shall be your tools to make this world your own.
One word and those who wronged you shall burn, too.
Just one word. That's all it takes, and they shall take away your pain.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#“eros you left for a month again” yeah.................#anyway. posts tsaritsa fic and leaves#i kept it kinda vague but the fatui are all on your side. whether or not your actually the creator or not though..#now thats up for debate.#did they tamper w teyvat to kill the archons? to break the world to be remade in whatever image they see fit?#using you as the means of their end?#maybe you are the creator and they just saw an opportunity. maybe they are just devoted to you.#i just think lowkey villain au but specifically imposter au where the only ones who side w u r the fatui like OUGH#i love the fatui. them being the only ones 2 side w u is so tasty#prime material for angst bc the self doubt if the only ppl who believe u r the “villains”#a lot of this is just like. tsaritsa posting again though#the tsaritsa who loves so deeply yet cannot love#contradictions all the way down#she loves you but she cannot love you.#she loves you but she will put a dagger between your ribs. she loves you but she is incapable of love#tsaritsa the woman that u r ough#harbingers and their complex relations 2 love my beloved#smth smth tsaritsa seeing an opportunity to install a puppet “creator” which creates a separate imposter!au when the actual creator pops in#did i write this just 2 write tsaritsa being vague and Weird and horrifying and a horror and a lover and just a woman and#yeah :]#please talk 2 me abt the tsaritsa pleas epleas pleas eplease please please please p[lease please pleas
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Song of Oblivion
#ooough my poor cataclysmic bird daughter#she loved so much and destroy everything for it#she denounces existance because to exist is to suffer- and suffering is her enemy#not realizing that in doing so she breeds so much of the suffering she hates#several of the fallen stars only fell because her question spurred them into a self-absorbing path#and then... and then the one singular meteia that realize her folly... who could be convinced of lifes meaning#by seeing you continue ever onwards even with your dearest friends' deaths on your shoulder#by seeing how everyone accepts oblivion for another tomorrow- even if they had suffered so much. even if they wanted to die#no matter what they fought. they fought and died and kept marching forward even in death#they loved life enough to sacrifice it. how could she not accept that?#and the realization that the reason she came to the conclusion she did was because she was flawed- bc hermes was flawed#as hermes said- he gave her wings to fly but did not teach her how to tread the earth#she was given freedom to experience the feelings and emotions of the world- but not the groundwork to understand it#she could see. she could hear. but she could not comprehend#she has knowledge- but without context it gets misinterperated and warped#OUGH im going to scream. i miss her.#meteion#endsinger#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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If Machete and Vasco were roommates before they became a couple, there had to have been moments of innocent touching/body contact, followed by deep gay panic.
.
#I think the transition from platonic friends to a couple was very gradual the line was blurry#even if they weren't a proper serious item yet their relationship was definitely romantically tinted#by the time they rented that tiny attic room together#Vasco had figured out his orientation early on he was well past the identity crisis phase#Machete had mountains of religious trauma to work through so his road to self acceptance was rocky but he did reach it eventually#he guilt and shame and doubt kept resurfacing every now and then but the need for love and companionship was stronger#Vasco is naturally tactile and affectionate it doesn't take much to get an occasional hug or back pat or hand holding from him#and Machete had grown in a touch deprived bubble so as soon as he managed to overcome the initial fear and repulsion#he began to metamorphose into the lap dog he probably should've been all along#casual physical closeness was present even before things got lovey-dovey but that doesn't mean there weren't moments of gay panic#answered#skunkbomb
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i made overalls! entirely handsewn (sobs)
#talkies#personal tag#flaunting my fat dyke ass <3#my sewing machine is so mean to me. it broke two of my needles & kept jamming so i said fuck it & did it all on my own#my hands hurt that canvas is thickass fabric
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bitches really be out here publicly divorcing as if they weren’t in a secret relationship
#i love how lenore stomped over ready to throw divorce papers and also hands#and annabel just kept getting more and more into it liKE GIRL PLEASE!!! UR ASS IS GETTING BEAT BUT NOT IN THE WAY U WANT IT LIKE GIRRLL#girl please read the room and understand that Lenore is about to rip full custody of Morella away from u#ANNABEL LEE STOP GETTING TURNED ON MID DOVORCE CHALLENGE: IMPOSSIBLE‼️‼️‼️#all of the passerby and spectators stopping n staring at these two like#‘?????? did we- did we miss some LORE™️ or smth????’#oh to be part of that crowd who got to witness the full blown break up#in my peripheral I see some disgruntled hands exchanging money#apparently half of the academy had a bet wherher or not these two disasters were secretly fucking around together or not#some swore by their second death that white raven was DEFO doing some shit together#while others believed em to just be old fashioned enemies who are complete douches to each other nothing more nothing less#the ppl who betted them to be nothing more than fierce as fuck enemies/rivals. well. well i mean you TRIED ig. i mean u tried WRONG but hey#at least you still tried#nevermore webtoon#nevermore neverwhore#white raven#lenore vandernacht#annabel lee whitlock
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this post was a game changer for me. thank you ryan reynolds
#text#LIKE. i beat myself up for a WHILE abt my reaction#But what that person did was much worse#& i did not say a single unkind word to them#& if i had a big freak-out break-down on a PRIVATE BLOG that was essentially a diary because i DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE STALKING ME ONLINE ⁉️⁉️⁉#well i was well within my right to do so. because i should not have been expected to account for their feelings right after what they did#IN MY OWN PRIVATE SPACE. !!!!!!!!! GOD.#and i kept myself in check speaking directly to them & thats all that should have been expected from me. i was allowed to say mean things a#about them in what was essentially a digitsl journal. after they LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED ME ‼️‼️‼️#Sorry Everyone im finally going back and like processing stuff from years ago due in no small part to the shelby abuse stream#so sry if im complaining abt being traumatized more than usual 😒#traumablogging
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"Oh so when James Kirk refuses to believe in no-win scenarios it's 'changing the conditions of the test' and 'commendable original thinking,' but when I, Bradward Boimler, can't accept the possibility of failure and retake the Kobiyashi Maru sixteen times–"
#lower decks#star trek lower decks#brad boimler#in my headcanon his first performance wasn't *great* but he did technically pass#but by refusing to accept that he hadn't beat the test and insisting on retaking it he turned his pass into a fail#and he *kept* retaking it until the instructor point-blank told him that there was no way to beat the program#And that the whole point was to experience personal failure#And *even then* Boims was like “so you mean by failing I actually HAVEN'T failed at all!”#“No that's not– ugh you know what sure. Gold star kid. Just get out of my office." ”Did I get an A+?“ ”OUT!“#Completely missed the point of the exam and they basically pity-passed him after the seventeenth try#Mariner on the other hand already knew what the point of the test was ahead of time#(She didn't cheat she was still a goody-two-shoes at this point) (An older classmate or friend happened to mention it around her)#But she *did* think it was a bullshit test and just pretended to be humbled and accept defeat in order to get a good grade#She doesn't believe in no-win scenarios either#It's part of what makes them a good team
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hey why s2 got the messiest worstest terrible awful fucked up compelling tangled dirty filthy complex nasty ass family drama ever. mianite was killed by his father using his mother's sword. how fucked up is that. hey do you know how fucked up that is. hey. hey wake up h
#mianite#mianitefa#mianite the character#ianite#dianite#mcyt#my art#i hate extrapollating compelling narratives of a chara bc every one of these clown dont realize how good of a story it actually is.#also s2 ianite was a bitchass coward but yall arent ready for that conversation yet#and before you even START i do not hate her she kept running away from her problems and when she DIED she did the same fucking thing oh my#HEY WHEN THE MOST HONEST GOD OF S2 IS THE GOD OF CHAOS? HEY? HEY WHAT? FUCKING. HUH? THE ONE WHO INVENTED ECONOMY? THAT BITCH?#full believer that alyssa countrybat would NOT fuck w/ s2 ia for obvious reasons but WILL fuck w/ s1 ianite bc at least s1 would tell her#she burnt down her fucking home village.#WHAT DO YOU MEAN S2 IANITE TAUGHT ALYSSA HOW TO SHOOT A BOW AND GENERAL KICKASSERY#i OBJECTIVELY refuse.
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this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe
That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…
Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.
Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.
Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad.
Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.
Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either.
Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.
Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.
Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…
Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.
Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.
Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.
#milgram#es#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#thank you so much! and for being patient 😅#i didnt mean to take so long but i kept chipping away at ideas while i got to this one#these were so much fun to think about!! i went for more emotional ones here but i do have silly thoughts too#i have that silly post about them making a competition after seeing each others mvs#though -even if they dont make it outwardly a big deal like that#i think they definitely would silently compare their videos/crimes to each others and decide whose was better#i still stand by the fact that fuuta asks kotoko if shes a furry after seeing harrow sdfasdf#i cant imagine kazui allowing anyone in the prison to watch his but IF he did#fuuta would also ask if he was a furry after cat ADSFSADF#i think the reactions t1 would be pretty positive/comforting#but in t2 theres a lot less pleasantries and compliments#aside from the obvious deep insights the videos give i think theyd reveal a lot of sweet similarities#like appreciation for flowers or cooking or performance or video games or music genres#but by t2 everyones on edge and suspicious of each other#or ashamed themself :(#i think its really cool imagining who would want to share theirs and who would keep theirs private...#rose posts
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pluvi begging you to expand on gojo not wanting what happened to his mother to happen to you 🙏
warnings: it’s all a dream so nothing is real aside from the flashback stuff but pregnancy as horror, (sewing) needles, implied gore/eye trauma, implied child harm, gojo is messed up yo!!! and its bc of his mama!!!
he dreams about her.
it’s an odd thing, really. gojo isn’t much of a dreamer—not much of a sleeper, all things considered, but it’s difficult not to give in when you drag him to bed and curl up in his arms. the soft rise and fall of your chest, the steady thump of your heart, the sound of your breath; it soothes him into slumber.
and he dreams about her. she was always young. he’s older now than she ever got to be. frail, thin; borderline skeletal, robes hanging from her body like webbing. she sits in a chair facing a window, swathed in moonlight, the silver of her embroidery needle glinting with each stab. her face is veiled. her stomach is swollen with child.
she doesn’t turn to him, but she beckons without noise. his feet take him easily to her, and he kneels at her side as she sets aside the embroidery hoop to let him place his head on her knees.
her hand is cold as it threads through his hair. it’s gentle, at first. then harsher a moment later. she grips firm, tugs him up by those electric white threads, stares down at him through all that elaborate lace.
he imagines she’s weeping beneath it. his mother never wept before him, but she was pretty in the aftermath, eyes puffy and pink and shining. they were a cold kind of loving when they regarded him. she must have been beautiful once, elegant and lithe and willowy, cruel like the heartless sea and sharp like a brilliant diamond, but whatever was there is long gone. he thinks all sons must empty their mothers, bleed them dry from within, because his was always a shell.
she trails her hand down the side of his face, and he turns into the palm and closes his eyes, and she is silent as she sets down her embroidery to lift her veil. she is silent and hollow and eidolic as her fingers brush down his jaw and tilt his head up to look at her.
but it’s your face that he sees when he opens his eyes.
it’s your hand against his cheek, your eyes pink and puffy and pretty, your stomach bulging by his own doing. it’s your fingers that pluck up the needle, still attached to a thread of brilliant cerulean, and raise it to his eye.
his mother never was able to pierce him with that needle. she stopped herself, each and every time, dropping it and tugging him close in shame. she never doted, never was kind, but she never did manage to harm him.
you do. he lets you. it’s only fair. whatever thing is in your stomach can’t be human—whether god or demon what does it matter, at the end of the day—and didn’t he put it in you himself? if his mother never got the satisfaction of spilling his blood, shouldn’t you?
but he wakes just as the tip pierces his iris, and you hold him in your lap, eyes wide with concern and not puffy from weeping, and you hold no child within you. your hands thread through his hair and they’re warm, your lips plush when you bend to press a kiss to his brow.
he turns inward to press his face into your (empty, blissfully vacant) abdomen. the wetness he leaves there, falling from his so very coveted eyes, is colorless.
he thinks it ought to be brilliant crimson.
#ask.🌧#saintshigaraki#cw.pregnancy#cw.child abuse#cw.trauma#cw.gore#cw.needles#char.🌧 gojo#mine.🌧#no children#tags will have some discussion of harming others & oneself as well as poor mental health in general pls be aware#i hope u like it beloved i am suddenly very self-conscious abt this one#there were originally more examples of her nearly-harming him but i ended up rewriting the snippet to focus on the needle thing#but in my head she...... had fits where she seriously considered maiming him but stopped herself#getting very close to it in many instances#idk. to me she was MEAN and stoic and gojo's obsession with her made his doting aunties and grannies beyond furious. thats what i think#and the only reason his clan kept her around was bc she was the only thing that could stop his tantrums#bc she was ambitious and cruel and she really did fight for him when needed. she could be scary. they rlly wanted her gone#n e way. ty for ur patience i hope it was worth the wait JKHADBFV
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enjoy your stay!
#w101#wizard101#w101 fandom#wizard101 fandom#dasein#sal art#finally did a full-body piece of his post-canon fit for his and aedan's verse!#in their canon things go a bit differently at the end of novus#which means wallaru doesnt happen#so for a while dasein just kept his Pajamas Form (the blue smokey one)#but i decided that was more of an interim look than anything else and he needed something a little more permanent#and made this one!#right side crystal-esque pattern of his outfit is mostly based on the aeon armor#as is the blobby bits on his sleeves (which move!) and his rings (which mimic the gems on the hands on the back of the robes)#(since as far as im concerned he created the aeon gear and the hands are meant to be him literally 'having our back' so theyre His hands)#left side is based on both his canon post-wallaru fit as well as the gmod missing texture pattern#its a little too small to see but he has a collar chain that's got little eyes as the pins :]#he keeps the blue-grey color but gets his wings back and also isn't constantly shifting anymore#and he also keeps the old one's converse those are a permanent fixture--#the little eye fellas are like scouts/messengers and let him keep track of multiple parts of novus at once#without getting too overwhelmed#sighhh i could talk about this guy forever#one day i'll actually finish his and aedan's fic
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