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#i just went what. no im not. i am Not and she went yes you are
inkskinned · 9 months
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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thelastharbinger · 10 months
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Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell#also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice#but also literally can't get over gwen “it really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy#cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. “i missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and.#you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo#and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk...#if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. &#hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.“#AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER#SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED#HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO#ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO.#anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks#from gwen of all people! i love that for me.#also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right.#atsv#miles morales#itsv#miguel o'hara#the spot#ghostflower#gwiles#gwen stacy#ghost spider#gwen x miles#rio morales#across the spider verse#into the spider verse
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possamble · 19 days
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yes!!! getting good grade in farcille!!!
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piplupod · 3 months
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why do counsellors think it's helpful to tell you "you shouldn't feel that way!" when you tell them something like "I am so stressed about spiders to the point where i have crying breakdowns thrice a week" or "I feel like I am somehow secretly a terrible person that needs to push everyone away to keep them safe from the rot that is inside of me"
like ... golly gee, thank you so much, that's soooo helpful, can't believe i never thought "wow! i shouldn't be feeling this way!" before, pretty crazy that you can just cure me with that one declaration!
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broke-on-books · 11 months
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The live action Scooby-Doo movies?
I did not see this ask until RIGHT now (first time on desktop since crab day, second time since Nov 5 2020 [which was DOUBLY experience since I got my phone taken the same day]) so I'm going to assume this ask got eaten on mobile because tumblr, HOWEVER you poked a bear with this ask anon (as I'm sure you knew when asking) SO without further ado: my Scooby Doo live action opinions
So when you say 'live action Scooby-Doo movies' I'm assuming you're talking about the James Gunn films, starting with Scooby-Doo (2002) followed by Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just due to like, generally popularity and also the fact that I have actually seen those films. However shoot another ask if you wanted me to include Curse of the Lake Monster in this (because I will if anyone cares and turn this into a live-action scooby dissertation, i'd just need to like. watch the movie first) But anyways where I'm going with this is that this post is about the Gunn movies aka the ones with SMG, Freddie Prinze Jr., Linda Cardellini, and ofc our #1 man, Matthew Lilliard.
Okay so my take on these movies is... complicated. I wouldn't say it's as complicated as my feelings towards SDMI, because I watched the live actions way less as a kid and generally care less about them, but still no matter how much shit I throw at these two movies there are parts that I generally like (even love) that stops me from totally condemning them wholesale. Like the fact that these movies are FUNNY! There's so many moments from this duology that are just beyond iconic "like, that's one of my favorite names!" the whole thing with Scooby in the dress at the airport, ET. CETERA (like I can go on!)
The Gunn movies are genuinely SO fun and I can 100% see and understand how they've stood so well in the public view as a representation of Scooby. HOWEVER, this is where you start to see my problems with them. For the general American, (because that is the audience I'm familiar with) ESPECIALLY millennials and younger, who happen to make up the majority of both people on this site AND people I talk about Scooby with in real life, these movies, and the elements they introduced as "quintessential scooby tropes" are the base of their understanding of the Scooby franchise, along with likely some miscellaneous WAY episodes and maybe SDMI.
Which is where I get pissed off. In the pushing of the narrative of "breaking away" from the Scooby norm, Gunn basically invents (aka totally makes up) an idea of what classic era Scooby was like, cementing an idea of classic Scooby into the public mind that is totally disingenuous and just straight up false. For example, in attempting to portray Daphne as having taken strides to be seen more seriously in solving mysteries and defending herself, it pushes the narrative that in the classic era she WASN'T taken seriously, and only existed as a damsel-in-distress prop of a character, which is just not true??? Like yes, Daphne is clumsy, that's a part of her character, and her friends (because, fun fact, the gang ARE friends) joke about it sometimes because that's what friends DO. Framing that in some kind of sexist "that's all she does" lens is just total bull, especially as gang members fall into secret passageways/get lost etc. in WAY ALL THE DAMN TIME because that's how the plot functions! Like are we calling Velma ditzy for losing her glasses every other episode? Of course not, and Fred falls into passageways all the time, not to MENTION Shaggy and Scooby and all they get up to. Also one last thing on the topic of Daphne, like this idea of her mystery solving skills not being respected by the gang is just so supremely bullshit it amazes me sometimes, especially when she was the LEADER (or leader adjacent) through pretty much all of her appearances in the 1980s [Not that James Gunn could look at '80s era Scooby without spitting on it, but I digress]
AND THIS IS JUST DAPHNE! Like the perceptions pushed towards Fred (and Velma, but mostly Fred) through these movies are just as bad! Like okay, with Fred---In these movies Fred is just an asshole. I hate Gunn Movies!Fred. I mean yeah he can be funny but it's almost always so mean! Almost nothing makes me madder than a mean Fred by the way. If he's putting other gang members down (even halfway, like with his whole "dorky chicks like you turn me on too" line, which... ew) then to me something has gone very, very, VERY, wrong in your basic understanding of Frederick Herman Jones as a character. Like he's the cheerleader! He puts himself in between his friends and danger! He loves nets, and traps, and Elvis impressions, and wrestling, and the trapeze, and cars, and most of all he LOVES sharing the things he loves with his friends! (Sometimes to a bit of an extreme. No one wants to hear about your net facts, Fred) And the live action movies just don't understand that at all. And I know there's maybe something to say I suppose in that some of those aspects of his characterization hadn't been "established yet" by the time "Scooby-Doo" came out in 2002. But it's there if you look. For Fred Jones, being the leader means being the caretaker, (he's the Mom friend what can I say) and any version where he's cruel and arrogant and just DOESN'T CARE about his friends in the way he's shown to in the Gunn movies is just so far from Fred to me it's not even funny. And what makes it even worse for me is that this (or at least something similar) is the idea of Fred that has really spread to the popular culture. Just the "leader", the jock that makes the rules, the one that [insert X adaptation here] finally gave a personality and made interesting (something that has been said more times than I can count for pretty much every gang member, save Shaggy and Scooby).
And I haven't even touched on Velma, and how they gave her a bit of a early 2000s smart superiority girl complex against Daphne, plus the whole makeover thing and etc. etc. The Gunn Movies are pretty much what would happen if you took someone who hadn't seen Scooby since they were 7 years old (and honestly had a pretty negative outlook against it then) and tried to "fix" it, only his memory was so bad he just made up problems (and threw in a good helping of early 2000s style sexism with it) convincing pretty much the entirety of the popular culture that said problems exist and that Gunn was absolutely brilliant for fixing them (and then bringing up said "problems" whenever anyone wants to talk about Scooby) and this entire rant has been without even fucking MENTIONING what is probably the reason you, anonymous tumblr user sent this ask in the first place, to I, Swishy "Scrappy Doo Redemption Arc" Broke-on-books (dot tumblr dot com), which is his HIGHLY SUCESSFUL and utterly sadistic character assassination of my number one man, Scrappy Doo.
And I am going to try my damnedest here not to get totally into my highly passionate opinions over what James Gunn did to Scrappy in the first of his Scooby movies and how thoroughly it has pissed me the fuck off because I have been writing this post for over an hour now and if we start to really get into my feelings on this topic it will certainly be a couple of hours more but like. That Fucking Bitch. I give James Gunn personally a solid eighty-five percent of the blame for making my life as a Scrappy Doo fan UTTERLY unbearable with this stupid fucking movie alone, and just his Scrappy crimes would honestly be enough for me to say that I hate this movie, not even considering the numerous Scooby crimes I've been talking about here for the past million paragraphs, but the part about this movie that makes me the MOST mad the most pissed off is that it's actually a good fucking movie. James Gunn wrote two hilarious and entertaining movies that have become beloved in the popular culture for their successes in that arena, while at the same time pissing all over the core themes and messages of the franchise of which it was based, that of friendship.
TLDR; The Live Action Scooby Doo movies (written by James Gunn) are highly entertaining and fun pieces of media to watch, and are widely loved by the general public and looked at with fondness and nostalgia because of that. However, as a hardcore Scooby Doo fan (writing that phrase sounds so ridiculous but oh well) the existence of these movies and their impact on the popular culture can be extremely frustrating (despite any personal nostalgia said fan may have) due to their spreading of a misinformed picture of what "typical Scooby Doo" looks like. This picture is especially frustrating due to the fabrication or exaggeration of problems present in classic Scooby (such as sexism in regards to the girls), as well as giving more ammunition to other problems in Scooby fandom (such as oversexualization, and sexualization in general, which no one wants to see in regards to their children's cartoons, like HONESTLY.) Discussions of sexism and sexualization in Scooby (both of which ARE present and are issues, although not at their worst in WAY) can often lead to an overlooking of the issues that are very present and clear in WAY and have continued since then with far too little resistance (I'm 100% talking about the racism here) HOWEVER that topic deserves at least a dozen posts of its own that I am no way informed or qualified enough to even begin to think about writing. The Gunn Movies are frustrating to many longtime Scooby fans because of these reasons, but for me, and fellow Scrappy Doo fans there is also the added aspect of the demonization of Scrappy Doo in the live action movies and the affects that has had on the popular culture as well, making it uniquely inhospitable to like or enjoy the character of Scrappy. End post.
#that last sentence is such a weird tone jump btw but its because the topic flowed one way and i had to jump it back to a summary to actually#finish this monster of a post#SO anon i hope you're happy with this and this makes my opinion make some more sense. and you or anyone else is more than welcome to ask me#questions about anything i said here or my opinion on any and everything scooby related (and not) so if theres a specific aspect of this yo#would like expanded on i can definitely 100% do that for you or anyone who cares#also there are many complexities towards my feelings on these movies that i didnt get to hit on despite the monstrous size of this rant (il#check word count later but im not gonna fuck with it now because im terrified of deleting this post by accident) one of which is my lasting#fondness towards all of the actors in this movie. YES including freddie prinze jr. i may have major issues with his fred but hes also playe#characters i really really like. for example hes the va in this tv show i LOVE and havent watched in like 10 months despite the fact im on#the last season because freddie's character dies in like 7 episodes and i am NOT AT ALL emotionally prepared for that on any level because#that is my fictional father goddamnit!!!!!#also every buffy the vampire slayer gifset that crosses my dash gets me closer and closer to watching it because oh my god daphne!!!!! that#sarah michelle gellar thats daphne oh my god!!!! also i went and saw guardians of the galaxy 3 with my friend (despite not having seen a#marvel movie in 2+ years AND holding a grudge over james gunn's scooby doo crimes)[the things you do for {platonic} love amirite?]#and the title sequence SAID linda cardellini was in it and i got SO excited i was looking everywhere for her it was like wheres waldo in th#discount movie theatre FOR REAL and i just could NOT for the life of me find her (turns out she was VAing the ferret) so in a way linda mad#me cry with that role. whatever. istg i get so off topic i forget what i was even talking about but ANYWAYS <<<1 of my fave english words b#dubs (my favorite spanish word is el amanacer btw. it means sunrise. also burbujas because its bubbles and saying it sounds like bubbles#popping) BUT. AS I WAS SAYING. SEND ME ASKS IF YOU WANT SCOOBY DOO OPINIONS. DEAR GOD I GET SCATTERBRAINED SOMETIMES.#scooby doo#answered#anonymous#blah
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hella1975 · 1 year
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I'm not done yet but hey are you giving zuko eldest daughter trauma because I'll fucking kill you I read ONE line it's probably the first of what's to come but I'm sending the hate ask now xoxo
ofc i wouldn't do that! he's just fistfighting a saviour complex and is eternally burdened by the responsibility of raising and caring for his sister while simultaneously being a child himself and always putting himself before the worst of the war so that azula doesn't have to all the while growing more and more rage towards the situation until it all comes out in a very cataclysmic scene that i will definitely cry at when writing :)
#he's got that fiona gallagher in him#big thief rlly went to town with mythological beauty and 'there is a child inside you who is trying to raise a child in me' v tams zukocore#the funny thing about zuko and azula's relationship is that yes it's kinda wholesome but it is still ultimately fucked#and yet i find them pretty easy to write bc i literally just go 'what would me and my sister be like in this situation'#like ive said before how my sister never really stepped up as the eldest and ive always felt like we shared that role#like i'll give it to her she's better at being the eldest in certain situations and im better in others#and it's always been us helping our mum bc as capable and brilliant as my mum is she's also doing everything alone#and her temper is... not great. so me and my sister took care of each other in our own way#and by 'our own way' i mean we have NEVER had a stereotypical relationship. our age gap is too small and we're both too mean#literally zuko's ch1 quote about 'they'd never been protective of each other' is directly inspired by me and my sister#i dont feel protective of her i dont feel a need to keep her safe and happy and it's really odd bc i KNOW im supposed to but i just dont#and she doesnt for me even though she's the 'eldest'. and yet i love her and would kill and die for her#and also if we were in this situation and we were trying to shield each other#from certain horrors that we thought the other couldn't handle then we'd have to be SO CLEVER ABOUT IT#bc just like zuko with azula if i caught my sister trying to patronise me/protect me i would HIT THE ROOF#like i am thoroughly convinced there is nothing she can handle that i cant and vice versa so we'd have to be soooo slick about it#and while with zuko and azula that only holds to an extent bc azula is ultimately YEARS younger than zuko#and whatever you think of her personality she just straight up should not be exposed to certain things#(neither should zuko but yk what i mean)#it still stands and we see throughout tams the v clever ways zuko has learned to protect azula so that she doesnt catch on#like either the next chapter or the one after (probs the one after) there's a really horrific scene#that's just super dark and gory and while with a normal younger sibling you'd do something to keep their eyes on you and not on the scene#like lie to them or make it into a game or something so they're unaware of what's happening#but instead zuko sees what's happening and before azula can he quickly gets her to check their supplies and count their money or some shit#like giving her a job to acknowledge her capability and not patronise her while still shielding her from a really brutal scene#and it just goes over zuko's head that at sixteen he ALSO SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSED TO THAT#but long story short i just think that's so funny. like the fire hazards are sooo fucked and for good reason#but it literally just boils down to me and my dumbass sister#so yeah. very niche eldest daughter syndrome emanating from tams zuko#ask
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figuerockfaeth · 1 month
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I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW
#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off’ in forever#and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found#cat*#so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside#i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’#YES i want you to help look what are you talking about#eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house#but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap#but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open#so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore#the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave#this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her#and the whole process/experience has been awful#i just have to survive 4 months#during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family#bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family#now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her#but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state#personal#delete later#also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning#and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard#and of course it’s right against the wall of my room#not hers#i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it
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freebooter4ever · 1 year
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The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.
#Journal shit#Ah yes the life i gave up to be a grunt 3D generalist working on the lowest of the low entertainment \o/#A lot of my friends here get mad at my dad for not being supportive#And i myself get frustrated at him for being insulting about my general life failure#But like....he has a point#I dont think he needed to treat me like yesterdays trash over it but#He was right i probably should have taken a programming job#But poor dad he got saddled with a child who is stubborn and tragically not financially motivated like at all#I mean he is the exact same damn way i feel like my dad forgets that it was just me and him for four years there#I saw how he lived without certain influences and he did not give a crap about status or money or fancy things#It wasnt until the rich bitch came along and started making him like...update his furniture every few years because *style*#and making him buy new designer coats every year so he doesn't embarrass himself in front of the other volleyball parents#Im just saying prior to the introduction of Steves Wife to our family these things just didnt exist to us#It does greatly entertain me that Steves Wife is not allowed to come to the ohio farm because everybody agreed that she just...#Could Not Handle The Poor#Anyway thats my dads idea of a vacation going to visit grandma on the farm this summer#And two guesses he and grandma will just sit around reading and doing puzzles and watching tennis#Pretty much exactly what i did when i went on vacation to visit her#I want to ask my dad if you think i am a failure what do you think of yourself i am exactly fucking like you for better or worse#Well i mean except i also did a lot of drawing of hockey players and grandma would lean over my shoulder#Saying things like *he looks like a nice young man*#yes grandma and he also racks up the penalty minutes like you wouldnt believe
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the-hopeless-haze · 1 year
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Friends breakup friends get married strangers get born and strangers get buried trends change rumors fly through new skies but IM RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME FOR REAL
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kiddokori · 1 year
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doctor office workers love me for my polite tones and sense of whimsy
#had an eye exam and they did a bunch of new shit cuz i havent been in a few years#like they did the normal shit they did the slides and the lights and the letters#but they also numbed my corneas w this yellow eyedrop stuff and everything turned yellow for a minute#and then they took this bright as little pinpoint light and got it reaaaally close to my eye#and after i was like man that got so close i thought it was gonna touch my eye lol#and the lady said oh it did thats why i numbed you. i just dont tell people their first time so they dont get squeamish#and i went well! thats very cool now that ive done it and know it feels like nothing but yes i probably wouldve been squeamish thank you#and then the doctor came in and was like ok follow the pen and i was tryjng not to giggle because it felt so silly like. idk#and i told him i was like sorry if this is weird but im very tickled about this whole process like its fun to me its interesting i feel like#a little kid its neat#and he was like well im glad you’re enjoying yourself now read these tiny ass letters#he was cool he thought it was funny#and the lady that helped me pick out new glasses was really nice and helped me out and told me which ones she liked on me#(i ended up going w the ones she liked because i also liked them theyre cool it was fun)#interacting with random people makes me feel so well adjusted and normal like this is what its all about.#just having fun being a little kooky at the eye doctor. thats what im here for#my eyes are so sensitive now tho and its bright as fuck outside#theres no clouds and snow on the ground so im being bombarded by reflected light#i am under fucking attack
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skenpiel · 11 months
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anxious sweatHello eyes darting aruond
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💭
#i need to rant so I’m going to do it in the tags#I went on spring break with a friend I made this past fall when I transferred to my current university#and we have known each other for quite a few months before we planned it and I thought it would be fun#but during the trip she was really mean to me#like making fun of me for anything being passive aggressive and just making me walk on egg shells the entire week#by the end I was gaslighting myself and just overall felt terrible#I saw her the week after we got back to get a purse I let her borrow but after that I did not see her at all#and she hasn't reached out to me#which is so weird bc before the trip we would hang out almost every day or every other day getting lunch together all the time etc#but I don't want to reach out to her at all but also im annoyed she isn't reaching out to me like I wasn't the one who was horrible#and the worst part is after the trip she was super nice again like right as we got off the train#and it is very clear she thinks everything is fine and nothing is wrong. that is to say she thinks what she did to me was not a problem#and it is so hard to be friends with her because how tf am I even supposed to be okay with her#but now I feel so lonely bc with my other friends I dont see them as much as I saw her so now I feel so alone and lonely#and I dont want to complain about this to my friend bc she heard enough about it already#but now I feel like im starting over bc I only have more casual friends now :((#ugh I feel like shit but it really annoys me that she isn't reaching out. I dont even want to see her I just want to be like#no I cant see you blah blah blah#yes that is childish no I do not care! bye
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purring-tiefling · 1 year
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not vent but vent. like. i think i would attribute anything negative to venting. anyways it's in the tags
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the-acid-pear · 2 years
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Why did nobody ever tell me about these Tumblr stickers omfg
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kirishwima · 2 years
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hm. hmm
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hella1975 · 1 year
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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