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#i just want to live. i want to survive and i want everyone else to be able to live alongside me. is that too much to ask
cutielando · 10 hours
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mr. and mrs. ~ oscar piastri
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Summary: Wedding of the year is finally here between the two favorite youngsters on the grid. Everyone is invited!
Words: 1.3k+
Other works: my masterlist
♡♡♡♡♡
Oscar and Y/N.
Y/N and Oscar.
Everyone knew them, everyone loved them.
Ever since the young Australian lad had entered the Formula 1 world, Y/N had entered it with him. Always by his side, always attending his races while also attending university.
They had been together for many years, practically having invented the term “highschool sweethearts”. Despite Oscar’s busy schedule and Y/N being at university, they always made it work, never letting the distance affect their relationship.
Moving together to the UK had represented the first sign that they were both in it for the long ride. Packing up their entire lives and moving across the globe to follow their dreams proved that their relationship and the love they had was real.
Real and pure.
When Oscar got the opportunity to drive in Formula 1 and Y/N started her studies, the time they spent together shortened by a significant amount, but they managed to make it work.
They talked on the phone every day, texting when neither of them could speak on the phone, they took every opportunity to visit each other when they had free time, with Y/N visiting Oscar at his races or Oscar coming home when he would have 2 weeks off between races.
They made it work.
But Oscar wasn’t satisfied. He needed something more. He needed something that would put his mind at ease when he would be away.
He needed to officially make you his.
Towards the end of the season, you had a few weeks off uni and decided to join your boyfriend in Qatar for the Grand Prix.
You hadn’t really chosen the best race to attend, the heat and the humidity making it really strenuous on your already tired body. But seeing the smile that Oscar had while doing the grid walk with you by his side made it worth it.
Being there for Oscar’s sprint win had been the highlight of your entire year. Seeing him cross the checkered flag first, seeing his name on that first position on every monitor around the paddock, the feeling was unlike anything you had ever felt before.
Up until the moment Oscar got out of the car.
He made his way over to where you were waiting for him after he celebrated a little with the team, taking off his helmet and balaclava and giving them to one of his assistants.
“How about that?” he asked, chuckling as he pulled you into his arms, careful not to squeeze you too tightly because he was sweaty.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Os. I can’t believe I was here for your first win” you said, your voice muffled because you had your face buried in the crook of his neck.
“It’s technically not considered a win bec-”
“Shut up and enjoy the moment” you interrupted, making him chuckle and continue hugging you.
As he let go of you, you didn’t notice him reaching for something behind his back, not even his assistant subtly handing him something as he appeared again from the garage. All you could focus on was him, and nothing else around you.
It only really hit you when Oscar lowered himself down on one knee in front of you, a red velvet box in his hand.
“Oh my God” you said, your eyes widening and your hands flying up to your mouth.
All around you, the McLaren team gathered in a circle, phones ready and cameras rolling to catch the sweet moment on camera.
“Y/N, I don’t even know whether words will suffice to say what I want to say right now. You’ve been by my side since we were kids, you moved to the UK with me and left your entire family in Australia just for me, and I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant to me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, I frankly don’t think I could survive on my own if you weren’t here. I want to grow old with you, I want to have kids with you and build the life we’ve always talked about having. Y/N, will you marry me?” the words got stuck in your throat, so you settled for nodding feverishly.
The entire team around you cheered, but you could only see Oscar. As he got up and slid the ring on your left hand, you threw yourself into his arms and softly cried, the moment far too emotional to be able to hold back.
Your engagement had become national news in a matter of a couple of hours. Every media channel from the world had written about Oscar’s proposal in Qatar, speculating about when the wedding would be and whatnot.
It didn’t even feel like it had really happened when you stared at the ring on your finger, the feeling foreign but so welcome and like it was meant to be.
You and Oscar had multiple talks about when you would get married, where you would have the wedding and many other problems that came with being away from home and everyone’s families.
Which is why you decided to have the wedding back home in Australia.
After the season was finished and the winter break came, you and Oscar had started planning the wedding, which you settled to have after the last race before the summer break. He had already sent invitations out to the rest of the drivers, all of them very eager to attend the young lad’s wedding.
Lando was especially thrilled, but couldn’t help making jokes about how he had never thought Oscar would be the one getting married so young.
“What did you do to him, Y/N? You charmed him pretty damn well” he’d always joke whenever you guys would hang out in the garage before a race.
Yours and Oscar’s mothers took care of most of the things regarding the venue, the flower arrangements and catering, wanting to take the load off of you while you were halfway across the world.
The only thing that you had to worry about was picking your wedding dress and flying over to Australia to get married.
And when the day had finally come, excitement flowed through your veins.
Nicole and Oscar’s sisters had helped do your hair and make-up, your mother only watching as she sobbed quietly in the background.
“Mom, you’re gonna make me cry too if you don’t stop” you told her as you watched her through your mirror, making the other girls laugh.
“I just can’t believe my baby is getting married” she laughed, wiping her tears and walking up to stand behind you.
You smiled and took her hand, mostly to calm your nerves as well.
You were really getting married. And to the love of your life, which was a plus.
After you were prepped and ready to go, your father came to fetch you to walk you down the aisle. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest as you held his arm tightly and clutched the flower bouquet tightly in your other hand.
But your nerves disappeared like they had never even been there when the doors opened and you locked eyes with Oscar waiting for you at the end of the aisle, Logan beaming behind him as his best man.
The ceremony went by in a blur, the only focus on your part being on Oscar. You only vaguely remembered saying your vows and saying “I do”, your memory only having imprinted the first kiss you two shared as husband and wife.
You were positive that nothing could ever top this moment, getting married with all of your friends and families present, stepping into your new life with Oscar by your side.
Nothing could ever be better.
Nothing could top you becoming Mrs. Piastri.
Being Mr. and Mrs. Piastri.
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sunflawyer · 2 hours
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He's gone.
Kimo is gone.
It's 10 am. I was just talking to my brother when I suddenly got a notification from the vet saying he stopped breathing an hour ago. They said he was breathing frantically before he suddenly stopped moving. There was no movement at all. No blink, no breath, nothing. He stayed still.
I spent last night worrying about him to the point I exhausted myself and fell asleep on the mat. I didn't expect to wake up to this news...
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I can't process this. I stared at my screen for ten minutes in disbelief. He's gone. He's gone and I wasn't there for him.
It hurts so much. Two wonderful years with him. He was my support when I was on my lowest. He was there to cuddle me when there was no one else. He reminded me that I deserve to live and be loved.
But thank you. Thank you so much to everyone who supported me and reached out to check up on me. I couldn't have survived this without you all. And thank you so much for the support I've collected for him.
We managed to collect $320 it means the world to me. So far I've used about 210 for Kimo's vet and treatment, but now that he's gone... the remaining fund will go to his burial and my other two cats, Abu and Jumpy, who are also in need for vet check up and essentials (especially since Abu is pregnant and she's due anytime), and also to my local shelter and all the stray cats around my area. I've always wanted to contribute more to the shelter and spread happiness around, and this can be my chance to do so. Thank you all so, so, so very much.
These are his old photos. God it hurts.
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Please don't hesitate to contact me if you want a refund. I'd be happy to give it back, and I'm sure Kimo will appreciate it too. Thank you so much, everyone.
I need some time to process everything, but hopefully I will be back soon once I'm feeling better. I love you guys so much.
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kjack89 · 1 day
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Dial Drunk
5 times Enjolras bailed Grantaire out of jail, and one time, well...
The door of the holding cell clanked open and as one, the nine men sitting inside glanced up. “Alright,” the booking officer said in a bored tone, glancing down at his clipboard. “Bail’s been posted for arrestees Bahorel, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Enjolras, Feuilly, Joly, Lesgle and Prouvaire. You’re free to leave after you sign out at the front desk.”
There were a few grumbles as the men started to get to their feet, but Enjolras remained resolutely seated, his brow furrowed with a frown. “What about Grantaire?”
The man in question chuckled darkly, tilting his head back to rest it against the wall of the holding cell. “Is that actual concern for me that I hear, Apollo? I could die happy.”
Enjolras ignored him. “Pontmercy was supposed to post bail for all of us,” he said instead, aiming his words at Courfeyrac as if the man was somehow still responsible for the actions of his former roommate some five years after they had stopped living together.
Courfeyrac just shrugged. “Don’t look at me,” he said. “I mean, we all know Marius is a bit of an idiot, maybe he miscounted.”
Combeferre shook his head. “I’m probably wrong and should defer to the lawyers amongst us but I thought I remembered reading something in one of the articles about reforming pre-trial detention that an individual can only post bail for 8 detainees at a time.”
“And so I must’ve drawn the short straw,” Grantaire sighed. “Story of my fucking life.”
Bossuet clapped him sympathetically on the shoulder. “On the other hand, you could take it as a compliment that Marius thinks you’re the one most likely to survive an extended stay behind bars.”
Bahorel snorted so loudly the bars of the cell almost rattled. “Sorry but literally not a single one of us would survive an extended stay behind bars.”
“Speak for yourself,” Feuilly said. “I know how to whittle.” At the blank looks he received, he huffed a sigh and added, “So I can make a shank. No wonder none of you would survive in jail.”
“This is making our goal of prison abolition seem oddly self-serving,” Joly murmured in an undertone to Jehan, who stifled a laugh.
Combeferre cleared his throat. “Not that I’m not sympathetic to Grantaire having to be stuck in here, but I’d just like to remind everyone that since Marius posted bail, we’re technically now here voluntarily.”
“Yeah so GTFO,” Grantaire said with a grimace masquerading as a smile. “Let me rot in peace, etcetera.”
Enjolras looked like he wanted to argue more, but Combeferre muttered something in his ear and he made a face before filing out of the cell. “Serious miscalculation on Marius’s part with this one,” Courfeyrac said brightly as he followed everyone else out. “Because God knows you’re going to complain about this for the rest of all time.”
Grantaire gave him the finger and Courfeyrac winked as the officer closed the cell door behind him.
Sighing again, Grantaire sat upright, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck before settling back against the bench. “You need anything?” the booking officer asked.
Grantaire shook his head. “Nah,” he said dismissively. “Not my first rodeo. Hopefully I won’t be stuck overnight, but I’ve slept in worse places.”
“Oh, yeah?” the officer said with mild interest.
Grantaire nodded. “Central booking at the 16th Precinct is a piece of shit,” he said brightly.
The officer barked a laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He gave Grantaire a long look. “Should I ask what you were picked up for previously?”
Considering the answer to that question was a vast litany of misdemeanors (and felonies reduced to misdemeanors) that the boys in blue tended not to appreciate, Grantaire hesitated. Thankfully, he was saved from having to answer at all by the crackle of the officer’s walkie-talkie. “Just a moment,” the officer told him, heading out of the booking area and Grantaire let out a sigh of relief as he slumped on the bench.
“You’re free to go,” the officer said upon returning, and Grantaire looked up, surprised.
“Really?”
The officer nodded, opening the door to the holding cell. “Bail was posted. So I guess you’ll have to save your rap sheet for the next time you’re in here.”
Grantaire snorted a laugh. “I’d say there won’t be a next time, but…” 
He ducked out before the officer could respond to that, making his way to the front desk, stopping in his tracks when he saw Enjolras leaning against the desk, clearly waiting for him. “What’re you doing here?”
Enjolras straightened. “It didn’t feel right leaving you in there,” he said with a shrug that didn’t quite come across as nonchalant as he’d probably intended. “And I happened to have some cash on me, so…”
“Between this and being worried about my welfare, you’re gonna give me the wrong impression,” Grantaire said.
“Guess that depends on what impression you’re getting,” Enjolras said, and Grantaire’s eyes flickered to his and away again, feeling suddenly tongue-tied. Enjolras cleared his throat, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Anyway, we should get to the Musain to debrief.” He glanced at Grantaire. “Unless you’ve got something better to do.”
Grantaire just shook his head, and gestured for Enjolras to lead the way. “After you,” he said, his voice low, and together they walked out of the precinct, their arms just brushing against each other as they headed to meet their friends at the Musain.
— — — — —
“Jesus Christ,” Enjolras muttered as the booking officer removed the handcuffs from a sheepish-looking Grantaire. Well, as sheepish as a man sporting the beginnings of a pretty impressive black eye could look, anyway. “Here,” Enjolras said roughly, holding an ice pack out to Grantaire. “I posted your bail as well.”
“Thanks,” Grantaire muttered, taking the ice pack and wincing as he pressed it against his eye.
Enjolras pursed his lips as he gave him a once-over. “Any other injuries I need to worry about?” he asked.
Grantaire just shrugged. “Nothing that won’t heal on its own.”
“Because that’s reassuring,” Enjolras sighed, rubbing his forehead, but when he looked at Grantaire again, there was something almost soft in his expression. “You didn’t need to do that.”
What he could see of Grantaire’s expression tightened, just slightly. “You didn’t hear what that guy called you.”
He said it calmly, evenly, but his hand automatically balled into a fist at the memory. Enjolras reached out automatically to rest his hand on Grantaire’s fist until it relaxed. “It doesn’t matter what he called me,” he said, his voice low. “I can take care of myself.”
“Of course you can,” Grantaire scoffed. “But that doesn’t mean you should have to.”
Enjolras just shook his head, running his thumb across Grantaire’s bruised knuckles, a testament to the fact that despite the black eye, he’d emerged from the fight victorious. “I should’ve brought another ice pack,” he murmured.
Grantaire just half-smiled, twisting his hand so that he could lace his fingers with Enjolras’s. “It’s fine,” he said softly. “It doesn’t really hurt at the moment anyway.”
Enjolras cleared his throat and looked away, but he didn’t try to untangle his fingers from Grantaire’s. “Well,” he said, “we should, uh, get out of here.”
“Before they realize you have about a half dozen outstanding warrants for your arrest?” Grantaire asked with a smirk, his voice quiet enough that only Enjolras could hear.
“You’d be amazed what having a multi-million dollar settlement pending against the city will do to the police’s willingness to bring you in,” Enjolras said with a smirk. “Not that I want to test that, of course.”
“Liar,” Grantaire said, grinning. “But better safe than sorry, I suppose.”
He started toward the door, pausing when Enjolras didn’t immediately follow. “Thank you, by the way,” Enjolras said, and Grantaire glanced back at him.
“Anytime,” he said simply. “Thanks for bailing me out.”
Enjolras gave him a look that was half-amused, half-exasperated. “Just don’t go making a habit of it,” he warned. “One day I won’t be here to bail you out.”
“Only because you’ll probably be locked up with me,” Grantaire said.
“Well,” Enjolras murmured, not quite able to stop his smile, “you’re not wrong.”
— — — — —
Grantaire rested his elbows against the bars of the holding cell, his arms dangling into what was technically freedom on the other side. The booking officer, some new guy he didn’t recognize, gave him a look but didn’t say anything, which he took as a small victory, and he allowed himself a small smirk.
A smirk that faded as soon as he saw Enjolras, escorted by another officer. “No dice on bail?” Grantaire asked, seeing the look on Enjolras’s face.
Enjolras shook his head. “No, they’re going to go through the whole arraignment rigamarole. I’ve already let Pontmercy know.” He made a face, casting an irritated look at the booking officer who was pretending not to listen to their conversation. “Apparently they take battery of a police officer pretty seriously these days.”
“Can’t imagine why,” Grantaire muttered. Enjolras sighed and Grantaire gave him a look. “Don’t even start,” he warned. “This wasn’t about you not being able to take care of yourself—”
“That wasn’t what I was going to say,” Enjolras interrupted, his voice tight. “I’m well aware that cop would’ve bashed my head in if you hadn’t intervened.” He shook his head and sighed again. “I was going to say thank you.”
“Oh,” Grantaire said, managing a tight smile. “You’re welcome.”
Enjolras just shook his head again. “You still shouldn’t have done it,” he continued, “because honestly, I’m not worth all that—”
“You are, though,” Grantaire said, in a tone that brooked no argument. Enjolras scowled and Grantaire rolled his eyes. “Fine, then why don’t we make a deal?” he said. “I’ll stop defending you when you stop bailing me out.”
“At the rate you’re going, I won’t be able to anyway,” Enjolras said sourly. “Not without putting up some major collateral.”
Grantaire shook his head. “And I’m definitely not worth that,” he said.
Enjolras’s eyes met his. “You are, though.”
For a moment, it looked like Grantaire might argue. Instead, he reached for Enjolras’s hand, bringing it up to kiss his knuckles through the bars of the holding cell. “No touching,” the booking officer barked, and Grantaire rolled his eyes as he reluctantly let go of Enjolras’s hand. 
“Will you be at my arraignment?” he asked.
Enjolras shrugged. “Someone’s got to post whatever bail amount the judge decides,” he said.
Grantaire half-smiled. “In that case, I’ll be the one in the front.” 
“Pretty sure that’ll be the judge,” Enjolras murmured, grinning when Grantaire rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.”
“It’ll be the only thing that gets me through spending the night in here,” Grantaire told him, and it was Enjolras’s turn to roll his eyes, though there was obvious affection in the motion.
“Pretty sure Bahorel was right,” he said. “You definitely wouldn’t survive in jail.”
Grantaire just shrugged. “Only if you were in there with me.”
Enjolras shook his head, reluctantly backing away toward the door. “Still time,” he said, and Grantaire’s eyes narrowed.
“Don’t you dare do anything stupid while I’m locked up in here.”
Enjolras just smirked. “See you tomorrow,” he called over his shoulder as he left, and Grantaire sighed, though there something strangely content in the noise, despite, or maybe because of, the circumstances.
— — — — —
Grantaire didn’t meet Enjolras’s eyes as he rapped his fingers impatiently against the front desk at the precinct, waiting for them to bring him his personal effects. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Enjolras asked, his voice tight. Grantaire looked pointedly at the conspicuous clock on the wall and Enjolras’s scowl deepened. “Exactly, it’s 2 in the fucking morning. I have a 7 o’clock meeting, which you knew damn well, so why you had to go pick a bar fight with some guy twice your fucking size—”
“So sorry to be an inconvenience to you,” Grantaire drawled, slurring his words just slightly. “Can’t imagine what it must be like to have made plans that get interfered with by someone else’s priorities.”
Enjolras ground his teeth together. “Are we really doing this here and now?” he asked.
Grantaire just jerked a shrug, not meeting his eyes. “Do you have something better to do?”
Enjolras sighed and scrubbed a tired hand across his face. “I’m sorry that I had to cancel tonight,” he said, with as much patience as he could seemingly muster, considering the circumstances. “But I needed to get this proposal done ahead of the meeting tomorrow, and I don’t really see what the big deal—”
“You never do,” Grantaire interrupted, still not looking at him. “That’s the problem.”
“You knew going into this—”
“Just like you knew going into this that I’m a drunk and a disaster,” Grantaire interrupted, finally looking at Enjolras, his expression hard. “Well, congratulations, Apollo, it looks like we both knew what we were getting into and yet somehow, we’re both still disappointed.”
Enjolras just shook his head. “I’m not,” he said tiredly. “I’m not disappointed, Grantaire, because that would require me to actually expect better from you, and I learned my lesson on that a long time ago.”
Grantaire just grinned, a horrible, twisted grin. “Right back atcha.”
The officer returned with Grantaire’s belongings, and Grantaire grabbed his phone, wallet and keys, returning them to his pockets. Enjolras took a deep breath, but whatever he clearly wanted to say seemed to stick in his throat, and he looked away. “C’mon,” he said instead. “Let’s go home.”
Grantaire nodded once, shoving his hands in his pockets as he slumped after Enjolras, neither man touching the other.
— — — — —
“He’s not technically under arrest,” the cop told Enjolras as he led him back to the holding cell. “But that’s because we couldn’t really mirandize him when he was passed out.”
Enjolras eyed Grantaire, sprawled across the bench in the holding cell, and sighed. “So once he’s coherent, he’ll be charged with, what, drunk and disorderly?”
The officer nodded. “Yeah.” He glanced at Enjolras. “Look, it’s not my place, but, uh, maybe look into getting your friend some help?”
“Yeah,” Enjolras murmured, his expression drawn. “Maybe.” He sighed and turned. “Guess I’ll go preemtively pay his bail—”
“Apollo?” Grantaire croaked, and Enjolras sighed again.
“Give us a moment?” he asked the officer, who just shrugged.
Enjolras crossed to the bars of the holding cell, his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest. “Tell me,” he said, his tone clipped, “were you trying to get hit by a car by passing out in the street, or would have just been a fun little side effect of this spectacular attempt at blowing up your life?”
Grantaire groaned as he forced himself into a sitting position. “Honestly don’t remember if it was deliberate or not,” he muttered, swaying slightly as he blinked unfocusedly at Enjolras.
“There are easier ways of killing yourself,” Enjolras said.
Grantaire managed a small, sharp smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve considered those as well.”
Enjolras’s expression tightened and he looked away. “You used your one phone call for me,” he said.
Grantaire shrugged. “Didn’t know who else to call.”
“Probably anyone besides your ex.” Grantaire flinched and Enjolras sighed before telling him, as firmly as he could manage, “This is the last time. Do you understand?”
Grantaire barked a dry, humorless laugh. “If there’s one thing I can promise, Apollo, it’s that this won’t be the last time.”
“Maybe not for you,” Enjolras said. “But I’m done. So the next time you get picked up for a bar fight or public intoxication or whatever suicidal shit you decide to get yourself into next time, call someone else.”
He didn’t wait for Grantaire to answer, just turning on heel to leave him in the holding cell while he went to go pay his bail.
One last time.
— — — — —
The phone rang, and rang again, and Grantaire’s grip on the phone tightened. “Come on,” he muttered to himself. “Come on, pick up, pick up.”
But the phone just rang until the tinny, robotic voice informed him that no voicemail had been set up for this phone number, and he heaved a sigh as he hung up, a headache blooming in his temples that had absolutely nothing to the better part of a handle of whiskey that he’d worked his way through that evening. 
“Nothing?” the booking officer asked, and Grantaire ground his teeth together at the fake sympathetic tone.
“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’, and he scrubbed a hand across his face before heading back to the holding cell.
The booking officer trailed after him. “Do you, uh, want to try calling someone else?”
Grantaire just shook his head. “No,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest as the officer opened the door of the cell for him. “I’ll try again later. He’s probably asleep.”
The officer glanced up at the clock that showed it was barely 10pm, and he shook his head as he closed the door after Grantaire. “Your choice,” he said with a shrug.
Grantaire sighed heavily as he slumped down onto the hard metal bench, his fingers twitching as if he wanted to reach for an absent glass or bottle of beer, or else for a hand that used to be his to hold. His throat felt tight and he swallowed hard, tilting his head back to rest it against the wall of the holding cell.
He closed his eyes against the tears that he could feel prick in the corners of his eyes, though he honestly didn’t know if he was crying because Enjolras hadn’t picked up, or because there was a part of him that still thought that maybe, in the morning, he would. One more time.
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moodymelanist · 1 day
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Is There A Problem, Officer?
happy day 6 of @nestaarcheronweek, and happy birthday Nesta! I hope you all enjoy this… not so quiet birthday party 😉
Summary: Nesta wanted to celebrate her twenty-sixth birthday quietly, but her friends had… other ideas.
Word Count: 3k
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Nesta
“Happy birthday, Nesta!” Elain and Feyre said in unison as Nesta opened her townhouse door.
“Thank you,” Nesta replied, pleased to see her sisters. Elain had come bearing cake and Feyre had come bearing alcohol, both of them just as welcome as her sisters’ faces. “And thanks for coming.”
Nesta was turning twenty-six today, and instead of going out and getting drunk with her friends, she’d decided to do something a little more lowkey. She’d quickly learned twenty-five was the age her body had decided to turn on her, and she wasn’t exactly keen to repeat the vicious hangover she’d survived last year.
So instead of getting all dressed up and hitting the town, she’d decided to do something much more relaxed. She’d invited her sisters and some close friends over to order in some food, drink some wine, and otherwise have a good time ringing in Nesta’s birthday. Everyone had been more than willing to go along with it — even Feyre, who was always chomping at the bit to do something more exciting — but Nesta had been looking forward to seeing the people she cared about too much to really question it.
“Like we’d miss your birthday,” Feyre replied as she and Elain walked inside, somehow managing to shut the door behind her without dropping anything. “Even if it’s not as exciting as last year.”
“Sorry I don’t want to spend the next morning puking my guts out again,” Nesta answered as they made their way to the kitchen, rolling her eyes. Feyre’s boyfriend at the time had been surprisingly willing to come take care of her, so she’d been spared most of the aftermath.
“As the person holding your hair back, I’m a big fan of your decision,” Elain agreed with a little laugh. “No offense, Nesta.”
“None taken,” Nesta responded, snorting. She helped Feyre and Elain unload their goodies and the three of them took a few minutes to properly arrange everything on the counter. “Okay, that’s fine for now. Come say hi to everyone else.”
Keep reading on AO3 here!
tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @fieldofdaisiies | @goddess-aelin | @c-e-d-dreamer | @talkfantasytome | @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk | @sv0430 | @talibunny30 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @champanheandluxxury | @lilah-asteria | @burningsnowleopard | @sayosdreams | @readskk | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @bellaful08 | @readergalaxy | @podemechamardek | @pearlfortears | @nerdperson524 | @jmoonjones | @kale-theteaqueen | @autumnbabylon | @hiimheresworld | @illyrianshadowhunter | @dustjacketmusings | @live-the-fangirl-life | @that-little-red-head | @sweet-pea1 | @brieq | @queercontrarian | @jsmelodies | @afflicted-with-wanderlust
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diet-comet-soda · 1 day
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Hey, just wanna point out, not every non-Palestinian person living in Israel is a Zionist. Not everyone there absolutely loves violent colonialism & genocide, not everyone there has the privilege to leave/settle somewhere else because they disagree with the state they live in, not everyone there is living in lavish luxury or are part of the top-level privileged class of the country. Some people were born there (and some are still kids who literally have been fed propaganda all their lives and can't be expected to know any better), some Jewish people settled as refugees or because they had nowhere else to go, just trying to survive where they could.
There are and always have been protests in Israel against the genocide and occupation of Palestine.
So yes, absolutely fuck you to the settler colonial state of Israel and the people who enable and actively celebrate it's violence. And I absolutely want some land back & reparation efforts to take place when Palestine is free. BUT, shit along the lines of "I hope everyone in Israel suffers/dies" (which I heard a bit of when Iran bombed Israel) is Nazi shit and I—nor anyone else sincerely in support of Palestinian liberation—should claim that kind of speech, or anything else veering into anti-semitic or just plain bloodthirsty territory. Violence is often an inevitable part of liberation when the oppressor is awfully violent themselves, but I also don't think we should revel in the idea of Israel being raised to the ground. It's not helpful nor productive, it's just cruel.
Now, can we please redirect our attention to the fucking mass graves being found in Gaza instead of wishing Iran's government would bomb Israel harder. All eyes on Gaza. All eyes on Rafah. All eyes on Palestine. 🍉
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I don’t think I’ll ever stop talking about Tachihara and how important his identity crisis is to me.
He spent so long under the shadow of an older brother he only really knew by the way everyone told him they were too similar and yet nothing alike, and when he tried to break free he ended up in the exact same place that Shunzen and Yosano did. Stuck in the military holding up ideals that are too big for their bodies. Fukuchi straight up made him choose between prison/death and medical malpractice when he was fifteen at the oldest, probably fourteen. And then when he finally found a home where everybody who loved him actually loved him, he was lying to them the entire time! He probably went into that final battle with the expectation that, if he even lived, they would never look at him the same.
But it’s so heavily implied that they knew what he did and kept loving him anyway! Hirotsu straight up said, “Whoever did this made sure they didn’t kill us.”
He told Tachihara that if he was Port Mafia then he’d know what to do, and he did it!
And it’s such a perfect mirror to Yosano. They’re both tied to Shunzen in irreversible ways, defined by his life and death and finding homes in people who never really cared about the dead man or how he was connected to their person outside of its effects on them. The ADA and the Port Mafia are both places that the two of them were willing to die to see survive, and they only ever faltered in each other’s presence BECAUSE of their connection. Yosano thought Tachihara had the right to kill her for what she did and the way she took the right of death away from Shunzen, but Tachihara always knew that it wasn’t really her fault and couldn’t kill her over it even thought he spent so long thinking about it.
The ADA never wanted Yosano for her ability the same way the Black Lizard never wanted Tachihara for Shunzen. They’re just so GDJHDJDHDKHFKFHDJHF!!!!
I really hope Asagiri continues this plot point and doesn’t desert in order to keep hyping up Dazai. I understand that he’s smart and cool and his character is interesting too, but it’s exhausting to constantly have every intelligent thing everyone else does ascribed to Dazai or Fyodor “knowing that would happen” or “trusting them to act like they thought.” Higuchi’s ability still hasn’t been revealed, Tachihara is still dead or missing (as is Jouno), Teruko just disappeared, and Akutagawa is still a vampire???? God knows where Gin and Hirotsu are. I just want Yosano and Tachihara to make up and for Tachihara to get more fanfic pretty please…
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lazerswordweilder · 3 days
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I wanna see Danny absolutely insane. Not like. We got too silly insane. Like, pushed past his breaking point, desperately trying to hold on, for the fifth time this week, and it’s Monday.
I wanna see him smile when Dash shoves him into his locker, because he’s not sure what to do. On one hand he’s so done with this, and he knows he could end Dash in a fraction of a second. On the other hand, it was almost reassuring, nostalgic, he remembers when this used to hurt.
I wanna see ghosts and humans alike, go to hurt or bother Danny Fenton Phantom. And have them stop when he turns around, because the look in his eyes is not something they understand nor want to mess with. Lancer saw a weight he thought only characters in books could possibly have to carry, Paulina saw tears and when has anyone ever seen him cry, Vlad saw exhaustion that cuts into your very core but you have to keep going because that’s what’s expected of you, Ember saw grief and pain over something that never happened but could’ve been, Dash saw pain a hundred times worse than anything he’s ever felt, Jazz saw protectiveness of a kingdom who hates him, Wes swears he looked insane.
And Danny? Danny is done with their shit. And he doesn’t swear. He’s so tired of everything, he’s so close to giving up, he is very much not feeling phantastic right now. He’s got more scar tissue than skin, he’s pretty sure everything he owns has at least a little of his blood on it by now, he’s forgotten what feeling okay is like, and he can’t even begin to describe everything else, and he means everything. He’s got half the mind to track down who ever said death was peaceful and make them deal with his life. But he’s a hero. Right?
He knows he’s got duties, the Realms needs a king, Amity needs a protector (both the humans and the ghosts), Danny Fenton needs to go to school. Oh and he’s pretty sure Frostbite is having a panic attack after looking at him which is ridiculous. But still, the stars seem real inviting right now, he wonders if Clockwork would turn back time for him and just let him sleep on the moon for 200 or so years. Probably not. (Clockwork absolutely would’ve). He might just do it anyways. It’s kind of ridiculous how much somethings just look like comfy beds to sleep in for a trillion years to him now, he fell asleep in a snow bank earlier which wasn’t nearly cold enough. But it’s kind of fair Danny supposes, he can’t remember the last time his home really felt like home, and Amity in general is his haunt, but eh, whatever.
Still though, having your enemy worried for you is really something. Like Vlad should comment, Vlad’s the source of a small fraction of his problems! Which is a lot! First of all having to worry about another source of constant attacks, having to try and convince his parents that Vlad is so clearly evil, having to check up on Dani and also make sure Vlad isn’t trying anything like that again, and not to mention the whole mayor of the town he lives in thing.
Okay this kind of got off track. But my point is, I want it to be too much, instead of somehow managing to survive it all and getting help, Danny gets pushed off the edge (and can’t get out) and he just goes crazy, he breaks down right in the middle of school over a minor inconvenience, laughing then sobbing then screaming then wailing for ancients knows how long. Then he flies off somewhere and continues to breakdown for a while, then he returns to his life like nothing happens, but it did.
That was it.
He can’t be pulled back now. You had your chance. You all had so many chances. And now he’s lost it for good. And you all deserve it.
He’s not going to apologise for punching Dash through a wall, he’s not going to apologise for whatever he did in that little blacked out period of time, he’s not going to apologise for taking a nap in the observatory and hissing and attacking all the tourists and everyone else, he’s not going to apologise for dissecting his parents, he’s not going to apologise for making Vlad regret it, he’s not going to apologise for making the ghost writer eat a book, he’s not going to apologise at all.
You let him get like this. He doesn’t want to shift the blame. But what was he supposed to do? No. Oh no. Don’t try to explain. This is all your fault. And he’s tired of pretending he’s fine. And he’s tired of helping. Because you lost that a while back.
You all don’t even know how dead you are to him, he had a little regret when it came to Sam and Tucker and Jazz, and that’s why they’re alive right now. Because they did all they could, well, not all they could, but that was because he asked them not to tell. Maybe he shouldn’t off.
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All hail the high king Danny Fenton Phantom. The king who never stopped crying.
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thevulturesquadron · 2 days
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Hello! If you don't mind answering, what are your thoughts on Rogue only mentioning Gambit during E.7 ? It felt weird after all these episodes and exploration of their relationship.
Ahoy there! 🛸
Well... I try not to put too much thought into it. Overall Bright Eyes felt like a moment of transition towards the finale (with an absolute kick-ass Rogue). I am happy they had an episode that showcased a part of what Rogue was going through after Genosha, because, as Amelia Vogh said - 'a survivor is the last thing I’d wanna be.’ So Rogue has a lot to process: the guilt and grief over losing Gambit, the uncertainty and anxiety around Magneto and well, the death of so many people around her. Remember what Magneto said? “We shall not live our days wondering if we could’ve saved more.” Rogue is doing just that - and it's hell.
About Rogue focusing just on Gambit - it makes sense. She held his body in her arms. That moment is with her probably every time she closes her eyes. The way I see it, there are two reasons why the focus has been only on expressing her feelings for Remy.
1. It might be just the way it is. Rogue and Gambit will always be 'the couple'. More so for TAS. They are one of the most well-known and popular Marvel couples so, after the drama was done, the writers needed to pull that ship back on course. It was always going to be like that and I'll be here for the ride. Not everything in media has to be written to match my preferences. Plus, the show has kept both of them in character and written them exceptionally well so far. Especially with Gambit, I am grateful for the care they put into portraying him, because in comics it's such a mess, depending on who's writing him. So I am expecting the focus to be on Rogue and Gambit from now on.
2. The other reasoning (from a media literacy perspective), and the one I prefer -  is that she's processing. It might turn out to be true or it might not - the show will tell us. But at this moment it does look like that. Grief, guilt, shock. First of all, in Magneto's case, there was no body. The rule is until the search is called off, if there is no body, there is no death confirmation. So Rogue is struggling to accept it. What she knows is that Remy is dead - that is a reality she cannot avoid and it consumes her. On the other hand she was refusing to face the possibility that Erik was also gone. Then Kurt made it real. In the privacy of that moment between them he said what she wasn't allowing herself to think or accept: that she lost more than one person she cared about. Secondly, also why it makes that moment with Kurt so much more heavy, is that no one else in the team knows of the emotional connection she has with Erik. Everyone who knew the depths (Gambit and, in parts, Madelyne) are dead. I don't think Rogue can voice her grief in front of the rest without an explanation. She can however channel it through Gambit’s loss. What is worse is that her feelings for Gambit are now intertwined with a lot of guilt, and she probably feels like she has failed him in particular. And it breaks my heart. I don’t think that’s fair towards her and I am not particularly a fan of that, but X-men has often times put drama ahead of character development. 
So is it the first one? Is it the second one? Who knows, maybe it’s a bit of column A, a bit of column B. But there is one thing that I would have liked the episode to show more of: I wanted to see Rogue processing what it meant for her to survive Genosha, to survive the genocide. I care more about that, about her humanity, her struggles and convictions, unrelated to the romantic aspects. Romance is not the ultimate form of love, and it doesn’t have to be the most intense display of love either.
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magnet-lattice · 2 days
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(Lifesteal s5 spoilers for my understanding of The Players' plans, from catching incomplete sections of streams and osmosis. I do not think this is spoilers for any of them but I am not keeping up very well, so please correct me if I am wrong and I'll edit this. It's a little bit rambly, sorry.)
So, aside from the unrequited pitchflirting, my understanding of the Players' main finale plans are that they want to remove all of the buildings and restore the server or at least the main areas to looking the way they did at the start of the server, before anyone built anything. And this has some justification about like being a fresh start to the world, aside from the fact that it's a cool dramatic thing to do, but also!
It's really neat how the thing it does is specifically making the server look as though nobody ever played on it. Because the Players' whole thing, their primary conflict with primarily Jumper and Minute (I don't think they have a team name?) is that they're the only people willing to play heel, to do cool evil dramatic shit that other people can make content by fighting against, and almost everyone else (no offense intended to Squiddo or Wemmbu but they haven't been on much lately?) is either neutral, inactive, or insistently playing face?
And in the arguments between the players and Jumper and Minute, it has come up that the opposing side wants to end the server without conflict, and the Players' argument in favor of what they're doing is that it's interesting content which creates a reason for the other players to log on and participate. (This has consistently been their motivation since early in the Abyss arc)
And I think that in addition to the other justification, restoring the world to look untouched is a pretty powerful statement of "This is what you're advocating for the world to be: one where nobody ever logs on and does anything or fights or builds things that matter."
(In the interest of fairness, I know Minute was talking about like, getting people onto the server by having temporary mods during the sessions, and Branzy does have his carnival, and I do enjoy this content, but... at least to me, the fundamental strength of Lifesteal content qua Lifesteal (Minecraft's deadliest SMP), as a reason to be watching this rather than something else-- like a modded or survival series that happens to be made by the same people-- is the social effects of a bunch of people who are mostly tryhards in a competitive environment that encourages conflict and teaming and subterfuge and paranoia and big dramatic clickbaitable gestures?)
(I do in fact think it's fun and interesting when there are some people on Lifesteal who care about morality and want to do the nice thing! This is a fun source of conflict! I just... think it's more fun when that's not the majority of people who are logging on and doing anything, because then there's the risk of them uncomplicatedly winning, or successfully preventing or mitigating or discouraging the majority of the dramatic evil/annoying stuff, and then nothing happening? Lifesteal content is primarily about conflict. It's maybe a little more fun when the people involved have in-universe justifications that are not just "it's for content", painting the fourth wall with a thin veneer of "it's because it's cool and asserts our power" or some galaxybrained self-serving philosophical/metaphorical justification explaining why this supervillain stuff is the real moral thing to do, or whatever? But it's still fun as long as people are like, logging in and doing stuff and fighting or arguing with each other, and maybe having some big feelings? and at least one person is live or making videos so we can see what's happening)
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feelinungry · 2 days
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and i will always, always, be defending the "plot-holes" that are not actually plot-holes at all. i've seen people on facebook complain so many times about the ending of the game - about the siege of talmberg to be more exact.
"just attack it", "just take it down", "why doesn't divish just do it", "ohh his wife he can't even fuck! nobody gives a damn", "henry doesn't even really care for radzig at this point" etc.
and i have to go back to that one solitary thing this game literally cannot exist without: love. it's the main aspect, it's the pillars the story stands on, it's everything.
medieval movies and books like to picture the old times ala skyrim: "my son was very young when he died. but he did so while doing his duty. he fell for skyrim! he fell for the empire! i do not mourn for i am proud!"
"oh, i loved my father more than anything. but he is gone now. that is life."
it is. but. hear me out. people back then - were actually just like people now. we break down when we lose someone we adore, cherish, love, protect. no matter how stoic we may be, we don't take it lightly, do we?
so, if you think about it, is it a plot-hole, when divish refuses to attack his castle because
it's his home and he loves it
his wife is in there
his friend is also in there?
robard would not attack if it were divish in there. radzig would not attack if it were henry in there. hans would not attack if it were hanush in there. istvan would not attack if it were erik in there. captain bernard would not attack if it were hans in there.
it all comes back to love. and wanting people you care about safe.
martin running back to certain death because his wife is in the village when the cumans attack.
both parents worrying about nothing but their beloved son even while they are being brutally murdered.
everyone on talmberg willing to lock henry up just to keep him away from skalitz (for reasons yet unknown).
theresa making a last stand for someone just as lost as her.
the understanding he's met with when henry comes and admits his failure to radzig, the fact that he went against direct order. (nothing, absolutely nothing else but radzig being in debt to martin, or radzig being someone close to henry, could explain the understanding, the acceptance, and the outcome of the whole situation. how do you think henry - who is just a young man, not a hero, not a dragonborn, not a chosen one - would get away with all this?)
henry backed out of the night raid on talmberg because hans was wounded and wouldn't survive long enough for the mission to succeed.
hans (in one of the outcomes) carried him out on his back, saving his fat ass. no time for glory, no time for saving the hostages when it's suddenly your best friend who is on the ground and bleeding out. he might have succeeded with the mission. yet he didn't hesitate when suddenly it was him who was put in the shoes of those who just wanted to keep their loved ones safe. it was stephanie for divish (he approved the raid). it was radzig for henry (he was the one who went first and most willingly). and it was henry for hans (who immediately backed out on henry's behalf). all those actions were based on love.
would you attack talmberg, knowing there was someone you loved? someone you wanted to know better, someone you wanted to learn how to love, someone who could have been much closer if he only tried? someone you only just met?
the whole story starts with love, continues with love, ends with love. it is everywhere you look and you don't even have to romance anyone to see it, to feel it. it is in the npcs' lives, it's the motivation behind so many actions. it's in henry's decisions. in your decisions.
because, don't you just love this game?
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docholligay · 3 months
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Soooo.....I was scrolling the news feed at work today and saw something that, of course, made me think of you immediately.
How are we feeling about the concept of "Top Gun: the Semi Reality TV Show Based On Maverick's Wild Ass Thing From The Movie," according to the internet?
Can you believe they're doing a Top Gun 3? Top Gun: Maverick was all the "More Top Gun" that we didn't actually need.
I LOVE Top Gun. It's one of my absolute favorites. I think we all know that. It's not good! it's also bad. But I love it. I have never, ever, in my life, wanted a continuation of that story. It was absolutely pitch perfect as it is, and I know this sounds insane as a fanfic writer (i guess), but sometimes I wish people would realize you need to leave well enough alone. Sometimes a story is fine being done, or, if one must noodle, because noodling is fun, let's not make it part of the official canon.
But, no I do not want a semi-reality Top Gun show.
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god help me i'm going insane about dickson xenoblade again
#this is what i get for thinking about lord of the rings too hard this week (specifically denethor / gríma / saruman and the like)#thinking about the way anthony may delivered “when will you learn you HAVE no future?”#he thinks shulk is fully DEAD at that point. he thinks HE killed him. which he very much meant to. but now that the kid is no longer there#now that the terrible future he's been preparing for and actively working to bring about has in fact come about#i don't know that dickson really cared anymore. he played his part he did the deed expected and he did it unquestioningly. So What Now?#well. now nothing. now the world that he spent so long biding his time in; so long getting enmeshed in (even for nefarious purposes)#is about to end; is about to be gone forever.#sure zanza will probably just create another world and maybe he (dickson) will have Even More Power in the new one#(though that's not a given! he doesn't know for SURE his lord and god will keep his promise!)#but like. what the hell does he care at this point#dickson SAYS he wants power but i suspect that long long ago what the giant dickson really wanted was SURVIVAL.#we never get to know just how he became a disciple or what the giant civilization looked like in its heyday or how it ended#but in MY headcanon dickson saw that some kind of destruction coming and he wanted Out#and maybe he hated his peers and figured any power and prestige that came from this bargain was just a bonus#i think he thought of himself as a saruman type: powerful; remote; far above the petty troubles of mortals (even the long-lived high entia)#but i have always headcanoned that by his later days (i.e. when he started engaging w/colony 9; machina village; etc. in earnest)#he committed too hard to the bit and started “going native” as it were; started to give a shit in ways that he would never dare admit#maybe not as much of a shit as; you know; a regular guy would. but more than an immortal disciple and horseman of the apocalypse should.#and all the time knowing that all the world he'd seen would soon be gone#maybe everyone else can get fucked. but shulk had to die too. and that's what their god MADE them to do.#he can't allow himself to care or to hope for another option bc in his mind it's already over; decided; that's it#what else can you do in the face of ultimate power but bow to it and take whatever scraps may fall to an obedient servant?#“you have no future” nor does he except that shulk came back. except that the peoples of bionis/mechonis just wouldn't accept Fate.#and in some final rebellious corner of his mind he starts putting eggs in shulk's basket. “if they can't even defeat telethia they won't#stand a chance against me (or zanza)” so let's see if they CAN. oh they did? how about a dragon? oh fuck they defeated the dragon too?#well fuck. maybe there WAS another option all along. but will/can they stand against me; the final disciple? oh they can??#guess i'll die then bc i'm not looking THAT in the face. i am NOT unpacking my cowardice/failure/lack of vision after all these years.#good luck with that tho <3 you're welcome for the training btw. where i'm going i don't have to see your trauma assuming you live that long.#dickson#xenoblade
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if one more Thing Happens i swear to god i'm going to distort
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yourcalamity · 4 months
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hell yeah baby 2024
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arsonist-chicken · 7 months
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Do you ever like.. get a sudden surge of love and admiration and just general happiness because of a friend, so much so that it's almost overwhelming, and you are just so, so glad you met them and hope you'll never have to let them go and get to keep them in your life forever? Yeah ❤️💖🐗🧚‍♂️🦄
#i should go to sleep#but these are the moments i wonder again if i know what a crush feels like and if i can tell the difference between periodical very strong#but platonic affection for a friend and having a tiny crush on them#oh well. in the end does it matter?#but it would still be nice to be able to tell the difference. if nothing else then to know when i actually have a crush on someone i'm not#that close to like that friend or that fond of#fucking hell god please never let me have to let them go. i don't think i've ever met someone i'm that comfortable around and around whom#it's so easy to just be myself#or rarely. maybe with two other friends i don't feel the need to hold back myself from blurting stuff out and interrupting them and#apologising and asking them to continue or just like.. say whatever comes to mind or touch electric pasture fences to see if it still stings#(it does btw but in a sensorally really nice way 10/10 would recommend)#why do amazing people often live so damn far away? last time i met a bunch of people i really got to love was almost lifesaving and#definitely mental health saving. we used to talk every day and now i barely know what any of them are up to :( covid really fucked us over#with everyone just trying to survive and stay sane. we really lost touch and now it#*it's hard to get that back because we're strewn across europe and brasil and the us and everyone's an adult with responsibilities now#i miss them :( gotta try harder to rekindle that#anyway @the universe or whatever fuckers listening: if you put me in circumstances that make me lose touch with her like with them#i'll set the world on fire. she's become far too important to me to let that happen#okay as always i couldn't damn shut up in the tags alright bye bye good night whatever my cat's purring now instead of snoring#scientists of tumblr invent a teleportation machine now. i want to lie in a park and watch dogs and read side by side and remember how good#life can be#mine
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faggotician · 1 month
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its just....the way my brain is, if i dont see a point in something i do Not want 2 bother with it. but the issue is that working constantly has no ultimate point. im not working for a goal, im working to get food to allow this body's survival . whats the point in that. i want 2 create i want 2 have time 2 sit and draw stupid mspaint furries. i want 2 get home st 1am and not have 2 lament abt going 2 bed early cuz i need 2 get up early for the job i JUST finished . we all know how fucked up this is, and anyone who doesnt admit it is always clearly in denial . The empire is going to fall, & america has a reckoning, but its so depersonalizing 2 be a US citizin right now....
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