#i just remembered how terribly mccoy was treated in into darkness again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sinkingwmyships · 4 years

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I’ve noticed a terrible lack of Cherik on Tumblr (why???), so here ya go ;)

Prompt list | Wattpad | AO3

This contains spoilers for “X-Men: Days of Future Past”!

* * *

Prompt: “Did you do this to yourself?”

Character(s): Erik Lehnsherr; Charles Xavier; Raven Darkholme/Mystique (mentioned); Logan/Wolverine (mentioned); Hank McCoy/Beast (mentioned); Moira MacTaggert (mentioned)

Pairing(s): Cherik

Word count: 1,314

This is kinda set in the flight-to-Paris scene in “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” but you don’t have to remember/know the scene to read this.

* * *

"Did you do this to yourself?"

Charles looked up from the chessboard, slightly startled by the question. Outside, the sky was pitch-black, to the point where even clouds could not be seen. Although the plane has not yet rocked, the brunet feared that a storm might be brewing — one as turbulent as the blue of Erik's eyes at the moment.

He decided to ignore the obvious implication of Erik's question, as he did with most other events in his life nowadays:

"Do what?"

"Get rid of your telepathy." Of course. Erik was never one to hold back. Charles could hear it in his voice just now: the slight reproach, the disappointment, the regret framing the edges. What do you know about regret. He shrugged, gave a simple answer:

"I did."

"Why?"

Charles cast his gaze down to the chessboard. He thought for a moment, then pushed one of his pawns forward before sitting back and reaching for his glass. He downed the rest of the alcohol, but somehow Erik's frown burned still more than the amber liquid did.

"Charles, why?"

"Why not?" The brunet answered curtly, glaring now at the metal-bender over the rim of his glass. "You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

"And it isn't?" Erik snapped quietly, cognizant of Logan who was fast asleep a few seats away from them. "Charles, you destroyed a part of yourself. For what?"

"Your move."

"What?"

"Your move." His frown deepening, Erik glanced down at one of his knights. The chess piece shuddered, before sliding across the board right into the path of Charles's rook. The telepath smirked before snatching it up, but the rook he was holding slipped out from between his fingers as Erik's bishop moved to take its place. There was no humor on the blond's face when he set the rook down with an audible clack, among the pawns and knight he had collected from Charles. Damn, I'm losing.

"So what if I got rid of my mutation?" The brunet sat back, arms now crossed defensively in front of his chest. "Nothing about that was a part of me, anyway."

"What?"

"Nothing about that was a part of me." Charles repeated, his tone becoming harsh. "It was always about other people. And honestly? That's fine. I tried, you know. I really did. I cared and I loved and I thought if I did enough of that, maybe it will finally mean something."

"And it does."

Something about that response made him mad. "How do you know? Because I did that and I still lost everything, Erik. Everything! And I know you don't need me to tell you about loss, but goddamnit, I fought and I gave and I trusted and in the end it didn't amount to anything! Now the future is all fucked up and I've got to fix it and I have no idea how. I'm not even the version of Charles everyone wants! So how can you say that it meant anything?"

It was only when he was finished did Charles realize that the chessboard was hovering in midair, and that he himself was the one who had unconsciously pushed it off the table. A wave of shame washed over him, but Erik only rearranged the board before standing up and grabbing him by the wrist:

"Come on."

"Let me go." Charles tried to pull away, but Erik's grip was steady. "Erik, please. I can't—"

"It's fine if you can't. I'll do the talking instead, if you don't want to." The unexpected gentleness in the blond's voice made him falter. "Besides, Logan really looks like he needs his sleep."

His hand was positively stuck in Erik's, and he didn't want to wake a grumpy man with killer bone-claws, so Charles mumbled:

"Where are you taking me?"

"Just to the back of the plane." Erik did tell the truth, but Charles didn't really care. Hell, even if Erik had said he was going to kick him off the plane right then, Charles didn't think he would've noticed either. He was so exhausted, inside and out, that he allowed Erik to lead him into the small dark space and even lock the door behind them, without any further protests or questions as to what the blond was about to do.

"What do I mean to you, Charles?" Erik suddenly turned around to face him. In the tight space, Charles noticed the blue of his eyes seemed luminous. He stuttered:

"W-what?"

"What do I mean to you?" The blond leaned closer, forcing the brunet to step back. "I hope your answer isn't "nothing"."

"Wha- no!" Charles stuttered again, entirely uncharacteristic of himself. Is the alcohol finally kicking in? He took another step backwards, but his heel struck the cold metal wall. There was no more space, yet Erik kept coming in closer and closer, until they were only about an arm's length apart... maybe even less. "No, of course not."

A moment of silence. Charles almost jolted when Erik spoke, in that quiet, low whisper he could never quite get used to:

"Good. Because you mean a lot to me, Charles. A lot."

There was no need for telepathy to see how serious the blond was — and that scared Charles, just a little bit. "When I thought I was all alone, you made me realize I wasn't. When I thought I had no allies, you showed me you were one. When I thought the path I was going down was set, you taught me how to use a whole new kind of strength."

Erik paused again, contemplative. Charles was about to offer up some sarcastic remark about how he might've lost his mutation but not his memory, when suddenly he saw the blond raise a hand. The defensive part of him flared a warning, but all Erik did was brush away a lock of hair that had fallen over his eyes.

"You're right, I can't tell you what to do with your ability." The metal-bender continued, his voice kept to a quiet murmur — barely enough to drown out the thumping of Charles's heart. "But I won't stand for you treating yourself like this. Even if you think you've failed Raven, even if you think you've abandoned your students and your school... you saved me, Charles. You still have me. Your efforts do mean something. So, please, don't ever think of yourself as worthless. Because you aren't."

Something warm fell down his cheek. Startled, Charles brought a hand up to wipe it away. Crying? Why was he crying? He hadn't done it in years — not for Raven, not for Moira, not even for Erik. So why, how, how could he cry for himself now, the most undeserving of them all, the most guilty, the most pathetic, the most—

"It's alright." The trembling of his hands halted first, when Erik grabbed hold of them despite their cold wet messiness — and then the trembling of Charles's whole body, when the blond pulled him into a tight embrace. "Nobody's going to judge you here, so you can cry as much as you want."

Face buried in Erik's chest, Charles expected to feel something — the roughness of his shirt, the sound of his breathing, even just the faintest whiff of the alcohol they both drank. Instead, all he could sense was warmth. So he cried. He cried for all the nights he spent awake, even with Hank's serum coursing through his veins. He cried for all the days he spent drinking, even when his head felt like it was going to split apart. He cried for all the anger, the hate, the lies he gave to himself, because drowning in them felt still easier than facing the truth. He cried for it all — and also, for the thought that maybe, his efforts do mean something after all.

Maybe, what Erik had told him was really the truth.

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antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx · 5 years

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Mouse’s Reclist (#1/?)

Okay, it is time. Time to get working on the incredibly frustrating (but rewarding) task of putting together a fic reclist (the EDM one is next). No, none of my own are going to be on here, I literally know antis would accuse me of doing that for clout. If you want my own fics, DM me :). They probably suck, most of them are really self-indulgent, and I have an update schedule that embodies the slow feeling of trying to download free porn from a dial-up connection in 1997. And your mother is picking up the phone when you’re at the last megabyte and makes you start over. Or something.

I’m going to put a hotlink on the title and probably the author, if that’ll work super easy in a format transfer. Then I’ll post the fandom, pairing, and fic summary in italics, and uh, possibly a small review with some warnings. Keep in mind I can’t be as thorough as the authors themselves, if they’ve chosen to tag at all, because while I do reread these often, I can’t remember every exact trigger. Some of these are fluffy, and some of these are FUCKED UP. Capital F, capital U. Let’s get started. Not organised by fandom or by alphabetical order or by length because my ADHD just says “ONTO THE NEXT LINK GOGOGOGOGOGO” every five seconds. Google docs,,,, stop yelling at my grammar and let me do this thing. There should be about 30 or so under the cut. (Maybe I’ll do more?)

Obviously the first is Three Missing Girls in Madison, Wisconsin by lapsi. This is the Mindhunter Bill/Holden rec that I posted, like, four days ago, and what inspired me to post my own little oneshot drabble. You can check for that in my recs tag for a more detailed description. Let’s just say it’s fucking gorgeous. Everything by lapsi is gorgeous.

Revalations by Anonymous - MCU/Starker/WIP - “I still don’t get it,” Ned says. “How you just... keep being ordinary in spite of all the craziness you’ve lived through. You were in space. You helped Iron Man save the universe. And nobody knows it was you.” His tone softens, becomes almost sad. As though he realizes that what he’s saying is so completely alien to him that he will never be able to understand this part of Peter’s life. “Peter, don’t you want people to know you for who you are?”//An AU where they get the Gauntlet off of Thanos that first time, on Titan. - This is a sort of supremely fucked up but also absolutely beautiful Starker fic with aged up!Peter. By, like, three years, and he’s still essentially Tony’s sugar baby, but whatever. It’s literally an absolute amazing ride.

the spaces between the stars by indigostohelit - Generation Kill/Bradnate - Lieutenant Nathaniel Fick of the USS Devil Dog is returning to Earth with the weight of the world on his shoulders: his captain is incompetent, his crew is half in mutiny, and the mission to a distant star may have been more of a failure than anyone could have comprehended. But on the journey back, something in the ship goes terribly wrong—and Nate may have to bear far more than the weight of the world if he's going to keep his men safe. - Okay, what fandom ancients still remember Generation Kill? Warnings in and of itself for just the general nature of camaraderie on that show. I’m usually a Bradray sucker (remind me to get to those next time), but this was fucking fantastic. Sci-fi mystery AU is my absolute FAVOURITE genre, hands down, all time, ever. And indigo has written a veritable basketload of my fav fics besides, so I can always trust in them.

All of Astolat’s MegOp fic - Transformers/MegOp - ‘Nuff said. She’s the founder of the goddamn site. You’re damn straight I’m going to fawn over her fic. Also it’s fucking good, founding the site aside. I cried. I cried so fucking much. I dripped tears like a sponge.

The White Road by perverse_idyll - Harry Potter/Snarry - One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show. - Okay, first, this is the only time I’ve literally ever seen one-sided Snily where Lily was the one pining. Anyway, the summary explains the premise, but doesn’t do it justice. Lily watches down on the many possible universes that contain her son’s future from a comfy spot in the afterlife. The relationship between literally everyone in the fic and Severus is… exquisitely-detailed and heart-wrenchingly painful. I’d die for this fic, so I could read a million versions of it in the afterlife.

Rapture by mia_ugly - Harry Potter/Snarry - Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday. - I fucking bawled my eyes out the first time I read this. And the second. And the third. Dumbledore gives Harry a time-travelling watch for his birthday. A watch that travels to a young Severus, who Harry gets to know. On a pretense, of course. And then he falls in love with him. They both do. It’s absolutely agonising angst, but it has a happy ending. It will fucking pack a punch though, so get the tissues ready. This one is perhaps my favourite Snarry fic of all time. Period. Please don’t pass it up. The writing is so fucking amazingly-crafted. I would sell my soul to write like this.

Shell Game by forthegreatergood - DCU/Superbat - Batman wants Superman. Superman wants Batman. Eventually they'll get it sorted out. - An absolutely spot-on identity porn fic. As cheesy as the summary sounds, this fic hits hard. And it has sex pollen. Who can resist sex pollen? Pun intended, maybe.

Every Superbat fic by Susiecarter. - DCU/Superbat - Susie is a friend of mine (fucking,,, don’t know how I managed that one, apparently I write good enough fic for them to read,,, astonishing), and one of Superbat fandom’s greatest contributors. One of DCEU fandom’s greatest contributors, in fact. Everything they’ve written is a masterpiece. But the ultimate fav? as to which may be the true. Hands down. IDENTITY PORN GALORE.

The Long Hangover by CoffioCake - DCU/Superbat - Clark knows he should take a break: His powers are on the fritz, he feels like shit, and Batman’s treating him like a liability. But Gotham's villains seem to have it in for Metropolis' Big Blue Boy Scout and Clark won't just wait around for answers. Batman might be the world’s greatest detective, but Clark Kent is one of the Daily Planet’s most tenacious reporters.//This is definitely a job for Superman. - Okay, I can’t promise another Superbat won’t show up on this list. I’m a sucker for it. I’m also a sucker for case fic. Which is this. It’s so good. So good.

No Glory (and everything else in the HP fandom) by ObsidianPen - Harry Potter/Tomarry/WIP - The Dark Lord divines what Harry Potter is in the Forbidden Forest, and revelations lead to incomprehensible consequences. Lord Voldemort has won... and the dystopia is damning.//A tale of a fallen hero, dark desires, and a Dark Lord's obsession with something he has lost and finds himself unwillingly lusting after: a soul. - This is a Voldemort wins!AU. A fucking delicious one. If only my own Tomarry could aspire, by god. The imagery in this is so vivid I could swear it was painted on my eyelids. The concept of soul magic and interpretations on Horcruxes is unique and perfectly-executed. Honestly, everything Obsidian has ever written for HP is perfectly-executed. I would probably consider this the definitive Tomarry/Harrymort fic. Seriously.

It Cages a Demon by TripleX_Tyrant - Rick & Morty/C137cest/WIP - When Rick captures a powerful being from a demonic dimension - a demon with the ability to devour thoughts - Morty's consciousness is pulled into the demon's cage. Rick must go in after him before Morty's consciousness is completely consumed. But this isn't what the inside of the cage should look like. And if Rick wants to save Morty, he'll have to survive in a place where paths are unclear and monsters manifest.//Rick knew his own mind was complex. But he wasn't ready for this. - A goddamn Silent Hill-style horror mystery AU??????? FOR RICKMORTY? Yep, you heard me. And every second of it is liquid gold. It’s also gory as all fuck and pants-shittingly terrifying at times, so read at your own risk. But if you can risk it, please do. It’s honestly the best execution of C137cest I’ve seen outside of Harmon’s own damn writing lmao.

The Book of Secrets by Are - Downton Abbey/Thommy - With a war of words and wills, Jimmy Kent and Thomas Barrow embark on a strange romance. Set Post Christmas Special. - Thommy is another rare-ish (now, post-2016) pairing that I would die for. And everything Are has ever written for the pairing could kill me and I would thank it. But TBS is the best. Jimmy finds Thomas’ diary (and poetry book), which was also the diary (and sketchbook) of Courtenay before his passing, and learns more about his past and his innermost thoughts. It’s the most haunting, heartbreaking, poignant fic in the pairing. It ends well, but the journey you’ll take from the first chapter is one I would pay money to experience for the first time again. I literally couldn’t even breathe for a while after this. Lapsi’s fic has the same effect, so if you’ve worked through that one by now, be prepared.

Mad Man by griseldajane - MCU/Thorki - In all the years they spent together, it never occurred to Loki that there might be a time when Thor would not be available to him. The god of mischief conceals himself, coming and going as he pleases, doing what he wants.//That Thor might one day do the same never crossed his mind. - All the mindfuckery a Convinced-You-Were-in-an-Insane-Asylum-the-Whole-Time!fic entails and more. If you have issues with dissociating from reality, this is probably a bit much, because it absolutely nails everything about derealisation, delusional thinking, and paranoia. GOD, if you’re willing to let your mind take that battering, though, it’s a damn work of art.

Switch by Ceres_Libera - Star Trek/McKirk - The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense.//A Starfleet Academy story, set in the ST:XI universe. - The ultimate McKirk fic imho. We’ll get to my ultimate Spirk fic in a second. Please do read this. It’s everything you could want out of an Academy!fic. Especially a roommates/UST!fic.

Black Mirror by DarthNickels - Star Wars/Gen - The Ghost crew returns to the Lothal when they hear the Empire is investigating the Jedi Temple there. They learn Vader is alone and decide to take him out-- but what they find could change the course of Galactic history. - What, you think I don’t read Gen? I read Gen!!!! Look at all this Gen I read. Put simply, Dad!Vader redemption arc set in the Rebels era. FUCKING,,, what more could I ask for,,, literally. What more?????????? Sci-fi mystery??? ASKING FOR MORE WHOMMMMMST’VE????

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 - Star Trek/Spirk - Stranded on the planet Sigma Nox while searching for a missing away team, Spock and Kirk find themselves pitted against a disturbing native life form. With the captain out of commission on a regular basis and Spock struggling to preserve his stoicism, staying alive is difficult enough – but when a slim chance for escape surfaces, their resolve is truly put to the test. Together they must fight for survival in the heart of an alien jungle, and in the process, uncover the mystery of the planet’s past. Slow build K/S. - Here’s that aforementioned ultimate Spirk fic. Okay, what, it’s sci-fi mystery again. Give me a break. You just heard how much I would absolutely die for it. Seriously, there is no Spirk fic I adore more than this. I mean, I adore an absolute shittonne of Spirk fics, but this one is my raison d’etre.

In Good Company by weialala - Naruto/Sasunaru - This will sound a little ridiculous, no matter how Sasuke phrases it. I see dead people is embarrassingly tacky, and I'm half-spirit seems like something Sakura might say when she's stoned sky high. So he settles for a shrug. - Sasuke sees dead people. Sasuke bonds with the goddamn fae. Kuchiyose no Jutsu taken to the fucking max. An epic that does what The Last pretty much couldn’t. Shippuden who???

The Boy Who Died A Lot by starcrossedgirl - Harry Potter/Snarry - Harry’s always been known as The Boy Who Lived. Only Severus knows that this is a lie. (Or: a portrait of Severus Snape, in seven acts.) - Oh, there’s Snarry again. Bite me. This is my second (third? Tied with the White Road?) favourite Snarry fic. Time travel, almost Groundhog Day style. Severus has to go back and fix every mistake Harry makes that leads to his untimely death throughout the seven books. I honestly could believe this is what really happened, and we just don’t know otherwise because Rowling hasn’t deigned to make this shit up and put a woke spin on it yet.

Kisses Cursed by The_Fictionist - Harry Potter/Tomarry - Fairytale AU. Loosely inspired by Beauty and the Beast.//Some said he was once a man, cursed, and some that he sold his soul to demons and became one in turn. Others said that such evil as he could never have been human. That he was instead a nightmare, left lingering upon the earth a very long time ago.//Harry just knew it wasn't safe to walk near the Riddle House after dark. - Not just a fairytale AU, but a MYSTERY(!!!!) fairytale!AU. Okay, who’s gotten that I love mystery by now? This one is amazing, no matter how many puzzle pieces have slotted into place. The ride is a wild one and a great one. My second favourite Tomarry fic. I’d rank more of The_Fictionist’s higher, but they’ve deleted a lot of their old stuff, despite me absolutely adoring it.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices & radialarch - MCU/Stucky - The Associated Press @AP//Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE - Both an epistolary/media fic and a case fic? Sign me tf up. Came out mere seconds (I exaggerate a little) after TWS, which I instantly fell in love with in theatres (still my fav MCU movie, folks). Details what a trial would be like for James Buchanan Barnes, should the MCU function more like real life, all in newspaper/tweet/blog form. Best way I’ve seen epistolary!fic formatted, tbh. Only on the AO3, huh?

The Mirror by cloudyjenn - Supernatural/Destiel - When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something. - I love dimension hopping. And it’s for my first ever hardcore fandom (besides Pokemon), too! I usually see dimension hopping more in sci-fi and superhero fandoms, so it was nice to see it in fantasy, too. A million alternate dimensions where Dean and Cas are in love. It’s definitely a message. :eyes emoji:

Stay With Me (home is where your mind is.) by sara_holmes - Marvel/Stony - Where Steve doesn’t quite die, ends up stranded in the multiverse and would quite like to know how the hell so many versions of himself ended up sleeping with Tony Stark. Well, that’s going to make things a tad awkward when he gets home. - Speaking of dimension hopping in superhero fandoms. This is honestly the most interesting way I’ve seen dimension hopping played out. Or rather, dimension consolidating. Steve ends up in a purgatory-style void populated only by other versions of himself from throughout the Multiverse. Like the Mirror, there’s definitely a message being sent here about how many versions of him are doing the do with a certain genius playboy billionaire philanthropist.

Thicker than Water by StarkatHeart - Marvel/Stony/Superfamily - Neither of them would admit it, but blood does count for something.//When Peter Parker discovers his biological father is actually none other than Tony Stark, it's not exactly news that's well received. By either party. But they're Avengers. They're teammates. They'll just have to work through it. ...Or maybe just ignore it. - On a completely different note from Starker, or not-so-different, depending on how depraved you like your fic to be flavoured, Peter as Tony’s biological son. This is pure Superfamily, not a hint of fucked up incest to be found. Though if anyone has any fucked up incest recs, I’m down to get my dirty paws on them.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit - Shakespeare/Hamratio - It's 1959, and the mayor of Chicago is dead. - Remember how I said indigo had written some of my fav fics before? Yeah, 1950’s Americana!AU Hamlet, with added Hamratio. It is as good as it sounds.

All of astolat’s GoT and Thor works TBH. But please don’t pass up her Thorki, especially not Chaos War and Revelations.

Reaching as I Fall by apokteino - Supernatural/Destiel - “Service to God was the meaning of existence; service to Michael is nothing but slavery.” Castiel is part of an underground network helping angels fall, in resistance to heaven. At the same time that a fallen angel by the name of Dean Winchester turns up, some of those in the network are murdered by Michael’s forces – there’s a spy. What does Dean have to do with it? Who is Dean? And why are they hunting him so fiercely?//A story about love, family, and choice. - Let me introduce you to my favourite AU concept from all of SPN fandom. No, I won’t spoil it. Needless to say, I’ve tried to write it myself a thousand times, and only succeeded in a thousand false starts. Maybe one day I’ll get around to it. Plus, I always disagree with these authors, anyway. Dean is totally a bottom. ;P

I Got a Soul but I’m Not a Soldier by starandrea - Supernatural/Destiel - AU: Castiel is on the road (saving people, helping things) when he meets Dean and realizes that his soul is different - and not just because he's the pastor's son. - Here it is again, my favourite trope (well, I’d call it a trope, if there were more than a dozen or so fics for it). If you haven’t read RAIF, I’m wondering if you’ve caught on yet. ;P.

Chosen Man by Sineala - The Eagle/Marcus x Esca - The son of the man who lost the Eagle of the Ninth would never be allowed a first command of his very own fort, would he?//Marcus is posted not to Isca Dumnoniorum, but to a wretched and run-down garrison north of the Wall. There he finds that he is the new centurion of a group of scouts and spies, all of them British. He has few supplies and no experience. His men distrust him. His superiors despise him. His second-in-command is an incompetent drunkard. And the local tribes are determined to kill all of them.//But the worst thing of all is one of Marcus' soldiers. He is an enigmatic, dangerous, and insubordinate man by the name of Esca, who makes Marcus yearn for terrifying things he has never before wanted and can never, ever let himself have… - Sine pretty much engineered the Eagle fandom.

I followed them from the Eagle and into all their other ventures, too, and when they started writing for Stony I practically screamed in excitement. PLEASE read their Stony, if it’s the only Stony you ever read.

The Leonardo Effect by Phoenike - Assassin’s Creed/EzioLeo - To Ezio’s best knowledge, Leonardo's idea of debauchery was staying up until morning with a bottle of wine and too many sketching supplies. But why would the gondolier have lied? It was a heavy accusation. In both Firenze and Venezia, mere allegations of unnatural conduct had condemned men to be pilloried or hanged. - My favourite EzioLeo fic of all time. Everything Phoe has ever written is a gem, but this one takes the cake. Have I said that already? A lot of cake is being taken. Please read. It’s the epitome of what makes EzioLeo good.

Naked to Mine Enemies by mundungus42 - Pirates of the Caribbean/Sparrington - The Pirate Code doesn't expressly command its adherents to repay debts that bridge life and death, but the Code is more of a set of guidelines, anyway. Sparrow/Norrington, set after At World's End, ignores all films released thereafter. - A classic fic for a classic ship. My ship pun both is and isn’t intended. I’d read this one over and over. Okay, I already do. Whenever I go back to Sparrington, I go back to this.

The Persistence of Iron by Sylvia - Marvel/X-Men Cinematic Universe/Cherik - Waking up in a lab with no memories and a blue-eyed stranger calling him by someone else's name is only the beginning of Erik's problems.- Sci-fi mystery. You don’t need to ask me to clarify at this point, do you? Cloning tech? CLONING TECH? DE-AGING CLONING TECH? So many favourite tropes.

Take the Heat Out of Me by quipquipquip - DCU/Jaydick - Lost Days!Jason trolls Officer Grayson!Dick in Blüdhaven. Dick counter-trolls with the power of love. (It's super effective.) - A classic Jaydick fic. I think it was quip’s last foray into fic. Under that name, at least. What a bang to go out with.

Don’t Quote Me by TKodami - DCU/Superbat/WIP - Bruce Wayne has weathered scandal before, and Wayne Enterprises can handle another publicity crisis. What Bruce can’t handle is one crashing up against his plans to infiltrate Lex’s estate. Set during Batman v. Superman. - There’s that more Superbat. I’m sure… one day… the author will finish it. It’s a goddamn sex tape scandal!fic. Glorious.

Speaking of, every Superbat fic by Liodain.

In This White Wave I Am Sinking by queeniegalore - Generation Kill/Bradray - He felt like he wasn’t really living, like he was in an in-between state, something that came between war and real life, something like purgatory. - The atmosphere for this is consistently beautiful and bittersweet.

Okay, that’s about it for now. Save for an honourable mention to one of the fics that I started off with in the SPN fandom. I’d honour some more, but most everything’s been purged at this point. Come on, 2012!fandom, stop hiding behind how “cringe” you think shit was. I want my fic back.

Pull Me Under by AwesomeDistractions -- a Destiel handprint!kink WIP.

And finally, the most honourable mention, the first slash fic I ever read, from the Pokemon fandom, of all places. Originalshipping horror/mystery!AU. Wow, my tastes have always been, well, my tastes. Believe it or not, best place I can find it is a Waybackmachine archive of a creepypasta uploading site that went defunct a while back. I never found out the original author. But here it is, Missing, the first ever slash fic I stumbled across.

If you guys want more, I can definitely provide more. I have thousands of bookmarks. These are just my very, very favourites. What ones are still remaining on AO3, anyway. This is why I save most in PDFs. Though there are a few completely lost to time, and I’m pretty sure the OTW says fuck you to Waybackmachine, which. Uhghgh. Please. I want my nostalgia rush back.

#long post #pro shipping #pro ship #anti anti #anti anti shipping #fic recs #fic rec #reclist #recs #enjoy!!!!!#this took me all night sjkfsokldjlk

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boldlywritingtrek · 6 years

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What We’re Fighting For: Part 1

Kirk x Female Reader

Warnings: None really, maybe just dumb gender shit from early America? Idk it’s not super realistic so if you’re a history buff you’ll probably hate me.

A/N: Yikes, sorry, this is a hella late entry for @yourtropegirl‘s historical AU challenge. It’s been a wild ride trying to write this, it started in a totally different direction, and then I just ended up cutting the first part and whoops it’s a multi-chapter fic now. It’s my first attempt at any AU writing, so I hope you like it!

Words: 1,916

Summary: After British soldiers sweep through, taking horses and supplies from your family’s home, a company of American rebels comes to your defense. Taking wounds in the battle, your family offers them a safe place to recover, and their dashing commander takes a special interest in you.

“Captain Kirk?” You spoke softly. He continued to rock, his gaze fixed on the horizon.

“Y/N, I thought I asked you to dispense with the formalities.”

"Mr. Kirk, I–“

"No, I mean…” he sighed. “Never mind.” His gaze wavered finally, slipping down to the porch floor, then up to meet yours. Once again you found your breath caught in your throat when the full intensity of his piercing blue stare was turned on you.

"James,“ you whispered. His lips quirked up into a small smile. You stepped closer to him, and this time he didn’t recoil. One hand released the death grip he had on the arm of the rocking chair, and turned upwards for yours. You gently set your palm over his, and he wrapped his fingers around yours and pulled your hand to gently kiss the back of it. You felt your face heat and fought the urge to clear your throat. “Why don’t you come inside, let me take care of that wound?” He glanced down, as if seeing the slice in his side for the first time.

"Are all my men taken care of?“ He shifted finally, turning his body towards yours so that his knees brushed against your skirts. His hand tightened involuntarily around yours, and you knew he was in terrible pain at the movement.

"Yes sir. Many of them are resting comfortably now, and only time will tell how they fare with their wounds. Those who survive the next night will likely recover.” He nodded slowly, processing. “Come inside. You’re already hurt, you’ll catch cold sitting out here.”

He smiled, a hint of the twinkle sparking in his eyes. “I can handle a little chill, miss Y/L/N.” He dropped your hand as he stood, then gestured stiffly. “After you.”

Lifting your skirts you stepped over the threshold to the house. Some of the other girls had come from town to help turn your home into a makeshift hospital, and they hurried between the rows of young men lying in various states of disarray on the floor. Bowls of water sat beside heaps of bloody rags as dressings were changed, and you saw Kirk hesitate as he cast his gaze around at the wounded men. For all the reservations and nervousness you had seen from him, he was a caring commander who was well-loved by his troops. In that moment he looked almost boyish; for a man who’d been skirmishing against the Crown for close to three years, he didn’t have the grizzled serious look you’d expect of colonial fighters.

As you lead him to the sitting room, you half-wondered how he’d come to be in command of his rag-tag crew; many of the men were so clearly older than him, more level-headed–and yet this charmingly reckless man was in charge. You gave him the courtesy of an empty room to look at his injury, to save face. He quickly doffed his jacket and the bloodied shirt beneath it. You knelt on the ground beside him, your focus on cleaning the dirt out of his cut. He stared through the doors, watching the movements of his men and the caretakers. His lips were pressed tightly together, his face pale. You took a deep breath, sitting back on your heels. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through,” you start. He immediately looks down at you. “But I want you to know that I care, and you aren’t alone.”

"Y/N!“ Your uncle steps into the room, his black bag clutched in his hand. "Tell me what’s going on with Mr. Kirk here?” He settled down beside you, adjusting his glasses and peering at the wound.

“Glancing blow by a bayonet, uncle. I’ve already cleaned the fabric from his shirt out, and most of the dirt.” He examines your work with critical eyes, then seems to remember his manners. He takes a step back, extending one hand to the Captain. “Name’s Dr. McCoy, I’m the local physician. Came out here as a favor to my sister, when she said she had a company of wounded Americans here. My nieces are capable women, but an extra set of hands never hurt anything.” He turned back to you when he released Kirk’s hand. “You’re doing well, Y/N. Clean it, wrap it, and make sure he eats something; the man’s whiter than a sheet.” You nod your understanding, and your uncle moves on to other patients.

"Hell of a bedside manner,“ James mused, and you let out a short peal of laughter.

"I’d be cross too, if I had to come all the way out here to look at a bunch of patients that my sister and her children had already treated just fine.” He was grinning when you glanced up at his face, but you scrubbed the cloth over his side again and he grunted and clenched his jaw.

"You didn’t have to come back here, you know. They wouldn’t have hurt us.“

Darkness passed across his face, and he looked away. "You don’t know what they’re capable of, Y/N. Your family helped us, gave us shelter, and for that they can take your home from you? What kind of a life is that?” He huffed a heavy sigh out as you wound a bandage carefully around his ribs. You focused on smoothing the creases of the linen down, leaving a faint red smudge in the wake of your bloodstained fingers. He reached out hesitantly, as if to put a hand on your shoulder, then drew it back. “If we can’t take care of our own, what are we even fighting for?”

His words and the melancholy in his voice tugged at your heart, and you wished you had the words to comfort him. Wished you could smooth the wrinkles in his forehead with your fingertips. Instead, you took his proffered hand and rose to your feet beside him. “Mr. Kirk,” you said gently, tilting your head to the side. “Why are you fighting?”

You could see that he was trying to figure out a good response to save face. He sucked in a deep breath and turned those bright eyes on you, scrunching his face up. He was saved from having to answer your question when his name was called in the next room. He grabbed his shirt and practically ran from the room, leaving you to wipe your hands on the blood-spattered apron over your skirts and wonder if you’d ever really know his story.

The company stayed several days in your family home, recovering and regrouping. You found yourself speaking with the Captain every morning, sitting outside in the cool morning air with a quilt pulled tightly around your shoulders. Your sisters had begun to take notice, and tease you about your quick infatuation with the man. He was quiet and charming, and had a sharp mind behind the military bravado. Things had settled into a comfortable routine by the fourth day, and your house felt full of more warmth than it had since your eldest brother had been killed the year before.

On the sixth day of the soldiers being there, James didn’t join you on the front porch in the morning. After waiting for a while, you got up to go and find him, missing your daily conversation partner. Your father and the Captain both quit talking abruptly when you passed through the sitting room. Unable to resist temptation, you paused. Your father took his glasses off and carefully polished them on the hem of his shirt. “Can we help you, Y/N?” He looked weary. Kirk’s face was unreadable, but he chewed his lip lightly as he watched you wring your hands in front of you.

"I’m just wondering, pa… What’s going on? Uncle had us packing up some bandages, and–“ "It’s nothing for you to worry about, darling, we’re just sending the boys away with some supplies.” He turned back to Kirk, and you took it as your cue to leave. Your stomach twisted strangely as you stepped back out into the hallway, and headed towards the front porch. Of course they were leaving again; they’d been there a handful of days, long enough to recover, and they had to move on. You knew virtually nothing about any of them, least of all James, but your heart felt strangely empty at the prospect of losing his company.

You were watching the clouds roll by in the wide blue sky, leaning back against the wall beside the door. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw James step outside. He folded his hands carefully behind his back as he approached you, his usual slight smile missing from the corner of his lips. “Good morning, James,” you smiled, turning towards him.

He ducked his head, pink tinging his cheekbones. “I’m sorry I didn’t join you this morning, I was tending to preparations.”

"I hadn’t realized you were leaving today, Captain.“

"Well,” he smirked. The bravado was back. “We can’t spend the entire war here.” You felt your face fall, and didn’t try to stop it. Instantly he sobered. “Your father told me what happened.” He stepped forwards. “I hadn’t realized, I’m sorry. I hope our presence didn’t bring up any memories.”

"No, of course not. I’ve just grown to enjoy you–our conversations.“ You stopped yourself, and felt your face heating in embarrassment. There was no reason to feel the way you did about him, already. It was absolutely absurd; he was a kind, brave man, who was simply showing you kindness.

He reached out and lifted your hand from where it was fisted against your skirts. "I will miss you.” He said, plainly. His face was open and earnest, but his eyes were guarded. “I would like to write you, if you’re…if you’d…” he rubbed his free hand on the back of his neck, and you felt his fingers trembling in yours.

You felt your face break out into a smile. “Are you nervous, Captain?”

"Of course I am,“ he spluttered. "And I don’t know if letter carriers will be reliable at all, but I’d like to try.” He peered at you from under thick eyelashes, and you finally squeezed his hand back.

"I’d like that.“ His face instantly brightened. "I was worried you’d just leave without ever saying a thing to me.”

“Of course not.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” You stood there together, in a moment of unusual calm, and you hoped dearly that you could continue to correspond.

"Captain,“ a young man with curly hair and bright eyes poked his head out the doorway. "Could use your help in here, sir!”

“I’ll be right there,” he nodded briskly. When the boy disappeared, he turned back to meet your eyes again. “I’ll be seeing you again, Y/N.” He brushed his lips lightly to the back of your hand, then slowly backed away and disappeared through the doorway.

#historicalau #kirk x reader #my writing #yikes here we go #yourtropegirlchallenge

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creativeashproductions · 7 years

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Lamentable // Archie Andrews

Summary: After graduation you move in with Archie to begin your life together when something halts it in a way you didn’t expect. Determined to stay with you Archie cares for you in both bad and good times. Besides it’s always nice to have Fred as another father.

Characters: Archie Andrews x Reader, Fred Andrews, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, Jughead Jones, Hermione Lodge, Kevin Keller and Josie McCoy

Words: 2688

Disclaimer: I do now own Riverdale or the characters. I do not own any gifs that appear in this either or images because they’re probably off google images.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, puking, cancer, and a little fluff

Author: Caitsy

A/N: I didn’t explicitly say what kind of cancer it was because I’ve never had cancer nor has anyone close to me had it. I’m not a doctor so I entirely researched on it plus I’m Canadian so American health system isn’t something I think about often.

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It was a never ending cycle of hope and disappointment when you first went to the doctor about your medical problem. It hurt more when you were diagnosed with early onset cancer and your chances of kids with your boyfriend Archie were slim to none. It hurt when you were told that and it hurt more when you had to tell Archie. How does one tell their significant other than they were dying?

It was only one year since you graduated high school and got into college. You were interning at a good company while Archie was working with his father to earn more money for school. It was something you had both talked about, while you interned and went to school Archie would work at the family company and still do music.

Compromise. A wonderful thing when you do it right.

Archie noticed that you were being exceptionally quiet during supper leading him to hound you for answers.

“Seriously what’s going on?” Archie demanded placing his fork down beside the meal.

 “Nothing.” You shifted pushing your mashed potatoes around the plate unsure how to tell him.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I went to the doctor a week ago for blood work because I was feeling sick.”

“I know. I told you to go.” Archie replied leaning back into your chair.

“I was called in yesterday to go over the results. Arch, it’s bad. Really bad.” You bit your lip remember how terrible it was go from seeing a bright future to a bleak unknown black hole of a future.

“We’ll get through it. We’ve gotten through worse babe.”

You pushed your plate back standing up to move towards Archie’s side of the table to sit on his lap. His eyes scanned your face taking note of the slight loss of weight you had ever since you had the flu three weeks ago. You had bags under your eyes peaking through the makeup under each eye.

“No. Archie nothing is worse than this.” You whispered leaning into his touch when his arms circled your waist, “I have cancer Archie.”

“How long have you know.” He whispered taken aback.

“Yesterday afternoon. I’ve been going over the conversation and what’s going to happen. You should leave me Archie, I’m going to be an empty shell of the woman you’ve seen since we were kids.”

“I don’t ever leave you because you’re sick.”

“I’m going to go through hell Archie if I decide to treat it. There will be months maybe ever years of radiation, chemo and pills. I will waste away as it goes on, I will be a hairless ugly mole rat on the cusp of death.” You harshly told him, “I don’t want you to have the image of me. I want you to remember me as healthy.”

“Y/N Y/L/N, nothing you say will make me leave you.” Archie sweetly replied brushing your grown out hair out of the way, “If you lose your hair I will shave mine off.”

“But I love your hair.”

“I love you more than something I can grow back again.” Archie said, “Now eat because I need you to be strong through this.”

You pressed a lingering kiss to his lips before grabbing your plate to sit closer to the man you loved with all your heart. You pushed back the nausea to eat smiling down at you plate when Archie’s foot curled around your leg.

“I’ll do it.”

“Do what?”

“I’ll do treatment for you.” You chirped before slowly making your way through your dinner lost in thought of what would begin soon enough.

You saw countless doctors over the next month at each doctors appointment that Archie would come to with you. Excuse after excuse would be fed to your friends and family in the dark time your were going through even as they got more and more suspicious. Chemo began quickly with firstly using your arm and it sucked.

You took your college classes online via video feed and stopped your interning. You were too tired to leave the apartment. You no longer hung out with your friends in the evenings, you avoided public places in fear of infection. Soon enough people started demanding answers. When your hair began to fall out you decided it was time.

Everyone came to Archie’s childhood home, barring anyone ill, when you requested to see them. You were stationed on the couch under a blanket with a bucket on the ground. The chemo made you vomit multiple times and you had no appetite anymore.

“Babe. Wake up.” Archie whispered kissing your cheek. You shifted coming out of your sleep when he came into view, “They’re here. I saw the vehicles. Dad’s back from work too.”

“Okay.” You yawned slowly moving to sit up against the arm of the couch. People trickled in behind Fred to sit on the open spaced.

“Hey.” You drowsily treated everyone covering your mouth when you yawned.

“Long time no see.” Jughead teased sitting next to Betty on the ground, “Why are we here exactly? Why aren’t we at your place?”

“Larger space here.” Archie replied grabbing your cold hand, “We have some news.”

“Okay?” Veronica trailed off confused.  

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been skipping hangouts and when I do I tend to fall asleep on Archie’s shoulder or I look tired.” You started, “You’ve noticed I wear sweaters more often and warm clothing. It’s because of this.”

You pushed your sleeve up for them to see the taped down IV in your arm that was unlike anything they had seen. Jughead took note of how skinny you had become, how tired both Archie and you looked like, the paleness of your skin, the bucket beside your side and covered in a blanket. He slowly put the facts together just as you spoke.

“It’s cancer.” Your voice break as tears began to skin over your cheeks.

In sync everyone grabbed someone’s hand pressing a hand to their mouth and cried for you. It was unlike anything you had seen. It was both heartbreaking and beautiful to watch how much you were loved. Archie slowly took your hat off to show the thinning hair you had developed.

“How long have you had it.” Veronica cried reaching out to grab your hand before pulling back unsure if it was okay to do so.

“A little over a month.” You admitted, “I had the flu and I got better for a week before I began throwing up. I thought I was pregnant so I went to the doctor. I wasn’t pregnant and I got the diagnosis.”

“What’s being done?” Betty asked rubbing her cheeks with her blue lightweight sweater sleeve. It was your favourite sweater she owned.

“I’m doing chemotherapy at the moment. We’ll be doing radiation next. My doctor is optimistic about it.” You explained coughing in your sleeve.

 “How much money is it?” Veronica interjected concerned.

“Veronica!” Betty exclaimed, “You don’t ask people that!”

“A lot of money.” Archie sighed, “It’s taking longer than we wanted to find finances for it.”

“Daddy will write you a check. He loves Y/N like another daughter. No arguments.”

“Whatever.” You grunted making a face, “Archie can you help me to the bathroom?”

Archie was pushed to sit back down as Betty urgently brought you towards the bathroom just before collapsed on to the ground in front of the toilet. Veronica back followed behind to lock the door and lean against it. She watched disgusted as you shook from the force of your throw up. It hadn’t hit her until she really took in your appearance.

“You okay?” Betty asked rubbing your back and you heaved yourself against the wall, “Didn’t you have a bucket in the living room?”

“It’s rude to puke in front of so many people.” You groaned as Veronica handed you the spare toothbrush you kept in the bathroom when Archie and you stayed over at his childhood home. You took care to scrub the vomit taste from your mouth before you returned to the living room.

Everyone avoided your eyes as you collapsed onto the couch with a deep sigh and noticed your were sweating from the exertion. Archie retook your hand in his as you settled into your seat. Fred sat on your other side offering his support in your fight.

“I’m sorry you got handed this hand.” Fred softly told you. You smiled in response before Archie pulled you off the couch with your items.

“We should get home. We have to be at the hospital tomorrow for an appointment.” Archie said as he helped you into your jacket, “Also Veronica. Don’t pay for it please, we’ll find out a way.”

“Sure.” Veronica said with a small smirk you didn’t see with you backs to her. The minute you were out the door she turned to everyone, “I’m so paying for the treatment.”

Fred normally would argue but in such a sensitive time he was more than happy to help pay but with the machinery he had to buy in the last year money was tight. It seemed the last few years weren’t going well. Starting with the year that Jason was murdered. It seemed Riverdale was a never ending town of misery.

“Out of everyone she was the one to get cancer. It should have been Cheryl.” Jughead huffed picking up his bag from the ground.

 “Juggie nobody deserves cancer.” Betty soothed rubbing his shoulder.

“I hate the Blossoms just as much as you do Jughead but Betty’s right.” Fred said from his seat.

“Oh I’m sorry did the scum family wrongly get your father imprisoned for murder?” Jughead spat gripping the bag harder, “I have to get to Pops. I have a shift and I’d like to get another chapter in first.”

In a huff of black and angst he fled the house into the afternoon light with Betty on his heels aiming to soothe his emotional wounds once more. Veronica took a glance at the house of the boy she had dated for a year before she shared a smile with Fred.

“It’s nice your doing that.” Fred said, “I know you love Archie.”

“Loved Mr. Andrews.” Veronica smiled, “Archie and I had a wonderful time together but we weren’t meant to be like he and Y/N are.”

“I guess they were startgame.” Fred fondly spoke getting a giggle from the young woman.

“It’s endgame Mr. Andrews.” Veronica chuckled joining Kevin at the door with Josie in tow. She waved before walking into the sunny light mind set on designing a dress for her friend.

Stuck in a hospital bed was not something you wanted around Christmas. You had gotten sick at your parents house when they felt the window open for the frigid air to come in. You were rushed by ambulance to the hospital in the city of Chicago for better treatment. You hands were curled around the warmth in your hands.

“It was getting thin but I didn’t think this would happen.” You cried looking up at Betty and Veronica. Jughead had dragged Archie out for a night together despite protesting leaving you.

“You’re still beautiful.” Veronica whispered rubbing your cheek with her hand.

“I look like a bad cosplayed Professor X!” You exclaimed looking up at them, “I want it gone.”

 “We all want it g-“

“No I want my hair gone.” You sniffled watching as they shared looks before Betty went out to talk to a nurse, “I’m not pretty.”

“You are gorgeous.” Veronica sternly said looking at her watch, “Oh god. I’m late for lunch with Daddy. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

You mumbled a goodbye as Veronica fled the room leaving you alone with your hair in your hands. You were tired of everything. You were tired of causing Archie to not sleep. You were tired of Archie crying when he thought you were sleeping and you hated he only sang sad songs now. You wanted it over.

“Hey.” Betty whispered with a nurse by her side. The nurse holding a closed case in her hands. They helped you into the bathroom where the nurse handed you an electric razor.

It was therapeutic as you shaved off what you should reach before you handed it to Betty with a smile. You trusted Betty and there wasn’t anyone else you would want to finish the job, you both cried together until you were ushered back to bed.

“Knock knock!” Veronica called from the doorway with her mother behind her.

“I thought you had lunch?”  “I may have told a white lie…” Veronica trailed off walking in with things in her hands.

“Ronnie told me you were feeling down on yourself and she came to me.” Hermione said taking a seat next to your bed, “I pulled a few strings and we got some things shipped with a well known friend of ours. Pierce Jacobs is a beauty specialist with a background of celebrity makeup, hair and fashion.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“We didn’t.” Veronica grinned, “Pierce gave Betty and me tips to do so we can make it more personal.”

Together they unpacked a box filled with countless makeup and even head wraps of different designs and colours. A dress cover was situated in the corner before they began to work on you.

“I’ve always loved your eyes.” Betty smiled taking the time to apply primer to your face before putting eye shadow primer on your lids.

Veronica carefully chose the colours for your eye makeup just as Betty finished with a grin. The time was filled with gossip like it was back in high school during sleepovers. It was much different being in a hospital room in Chicago but it worked because you were surrounded by people you loved.

The dress of something you wouldn’t normally wear but you loved it to bits from the design to the colour of choice. It wasn’t incredibly long but it was too short either and it covered the IV from prying eyes. You decided on the head scarf with Hermione’s help before the door to your room was swung open.

The dropping of something made you turn to see Archie standing in the door way with a shock for you. Fred was bald like completely hairless on his head. Your jaw dropped as you saw Archie shifting on his feet.

“I knew you were going to shave your head sometime.” Fred informed you, “I thought we could be cute Sphinx cats together.”

“I was going to but Dad didn’t let me.”

“I love your red hair.” You mumbled stepping forward to run your hands through his hair with a small smile. There was something about Archie that made you feel alive ever since you realized how you really felt about him.

You however didn’t notice when everybody tricked out of the room leaving you two alone in your hospital room. You missed him at nights when visiting hours ended and you were left alone unable to sleep.  “I love you.” Archie mumbled his lips lingering on your forehead. You weren’t sure how late it was but you were tired and not looking forward to tomorrow’s chemo. It was your last before you had an appointment with your oncologist.

Sighing with you eyes closed you danced in your room to the sound of silence, well when someone’s heart monitor wasn’t beeping.

“Someone died this morning.” You whispered.

“Let’s not talk about that.” Archie said slowly twirling you every one in a while until he stopped where he needed to be.

“I can’t help but think when I’m going to be next.”

“Not until we’re grey and old.” Archie whispered removing his hands from your waist. Confused you opened your eyes to see that Archie was now on his knee with a beautiful ring, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” You cried jumping into his arms.

“I told you I’m in for the long run.” Archie murmured against your hair, “It’s a plus that I’ll get to stay with you at night also.”

“I love you Archie.”

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janeykath318 · 7 years

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Good Medicine: Kirk x Reader

Note: This was written under the influence of wacky hormones, which usually results in me writing either tear-jerking fluff or soul-crushing angst. Today it was the former. #55 “I fell in love with my best friend” Kirk/Reader

“We’ve been inseparable since the moment in eighth grade when you told off Matt Higgins for rubbing it in about my dad. I was so unused to people sticking up for me, I didn’t know how to handle myself, but you declared we were friends from then on and we were. You wouldn’t give up on me even when I was acting the fool and wasting my life and hurting you. Once I was up in space and we were together again, I felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be. I fell in love with my best friend–my beautiful, amazing, brilliant, caring best friend.”

Your eyes misted over with tears as Jim Kirk spoke these words to you, blue eyes bright with his own emotion. The two of you had eyes only for each other standing hand in hand in front of the small group of wedding guests gathered in the hospital’s quiet little chapel. Jim still wasn’t allowed to leave yet, given his difficult recovery from the radiation, but you’d promised him you’d marry him as soon as he could stand upright long enough, hoping it would entice him out of his gloom.

“Jim, darling,” you started softly, “The world came to a stop for me when I thought you’d left it. I’m glad I followed my instincts that day in PE, because you deserve to be treated right, you deserve to be loved for your own precious self. Your friendship was invaluable to me and thank goodness I’m as stubborn as you are so there was no way I was going to let you convince me to stop being your friend. It’s been a wild ride, but we’re finally here, and there’s no getting rid of me now. Too late to escape now, honey.”

You grinned at him impudently and Jim gave a laugh–a genuine hearty laugh unlike any you’d heard since the Daystrom tragedy kicked off the Khan debacle. It was so good to see him happy again. He’d dealt with a lot of pain and frustration in the aftermath of the coma and it had hurt to see him so frail and tired all the time. He was still very thin, but was starting to gain strength back and was doing physical therapy regularly now.

You thought he looked gorgeous in his pale blue dress shirt, tie, and khakis specially brought in by Winona for the occasion and noticed that Spock and Len had also attired themselves similarly for the occasion as groomsmen.

Across from you, Jim could hardly believe this was happening! After all he’d done and been through he was deeply humbled and touched by your devotion to him. He knew he didn’t deserve you, but he was hopelessly in love and when he’d seen you walking toward him in your wedding gown, he thought he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He was glad Bones had let this happen, even though the doctor had told him the honeymoon activities would have to wait “until your heart can take the exertion and I’m sure you won’t break in half, kid.” Jim had mildly protested this as a matter of principle, but admitted Bones was right.

He took a breath and launched into the second part of the vows, repeating this part after the chaplain. He promised to love and cherish you, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death did you part. If your hands tightened a bit on his when he spoke the last line, well, it was quite understandable. He knew you’d been devastated with what he’d had to do to save the ship and both of you had been seeing counselors, both separately and together to help work out the emotional fallout of the trauma you’d been through, But, you’d been his rock through the dark days Post coma and he wanted nothing more than to be your husband.

You, in turn, tried not to let your voice quiver as you repeated your vows, but were unsure of your success. However, given the way Jim was looking at you with an adoring gaze, you decided it didn’t really matter.

As he slid the ring on your finger, you smiled and remembered the day you’d decided to make things official.

Jim had had a very trying day, dealing with reacting badly to the supposedly nourishing liquid they were trying to feed him and needing more IVs then getting disappointing results in his latest blood work which meant he wasn’t progressing as fast as they’d hoped.

When you’d come to visit him, he was in the depths of despair.

“I’m never getting out of here, Y/N,” he sighed resignedly. “Every time I think I’ve made progress, some kind of setback happens. Bones wasn’t happy and I could see it, but he didn’t even pretend to lecture me, so I knew it was bad. I’ll probably never see a Starship again, much less captain one.”

“Jim!” You exclaimed worriedly. “What happened to not believing in no-win scenarios?”

He grimaced. “Khan happened, that’s what. I’ve been a cocky fool and Pike warned me what would happen. He was right.”

There was a poignant silence as both of you missed the Admiral all over again.

“I’m sorry you’re struggling, love,” you consoled, leaning down to rest your face next to his. “But you’re forgetting a few things.”

“What’s that, beautiful?” He asked half-heartedly.

“For one, you’ve only been awake a week, so setbacks aren’t too unexpected at this point, and for another, you’re a medical marvel, and there’s no way to know how long it will take, recovering from being dead and all. You’re looking pretty good to me, baby,” you reminded him. So much better than that awful stillness in the body bag, you thought.

Jim mustered a weak smile. “You make good points, beautiful, but I you know I hate hospitals. The prospect of being in one for another month is pretty daunting.”

“What if I had an idea to make it less terrible for you?” You hinted, kissing his scruffy cheek.

“Now, how would that be possible, babe?” Jim asked skeptically.

“Well, given that we both agreed we’re it for each other, I thought we could get married here sooner rather than later. There’s a cute little chapel on the first floor that would do just fine. Give you something to look forward to and incentive to get back on your feet.”

Jim’s eyes went wide and he got quiet–so quiet that you started to get nervous before he spoke again.

“Here? That would be very effective incentive, Y/N, but didn’t you want to have a nice, medium-sized wedding?”

“Time changes priorities,” you said honestly, squeezing Jim’s hand. “My goal is foremost to see you healthy and happy. The wedding details don’t matter just so long as you’re the one putting the ring on my finger.” You rubbed at his left ring finger affectionately and kissed the knuckle, coaxing a fond, blissful expression to Jim’s face.

“So, what do you say? Will you marry me, James Tiberius Kirk?”

“Absolutely I will,” he murmured, then turned his head to kiss you.

Doctor McCoy had taken some convincing to allow such excitement near Jim yet, but at last he said he’d let it go forward as soon as he felt Jim could handle it, which ended up being two and a half weeks later.

When you slid his wedding ring on, you repeated the little kiss to his knuckle and batted your damp eyelashes at him. Jim responded with a smirk and a wink that showed the old Jim was still in there.

When Jim received the instruction to kiss the bride, you didn’t realize how gingerly you were holding him until he broke the kiss and whispered in your ear, “You can hug me harder than that, Mrs. Kirk. I promise I won’t break.”

“You’d better not, Jim,” you replied, tightening your hold. “I’ve got a honeymoon with a hot husband to look forward to.”

Your friends (the non Vulcans, at least) let loose in cheers and applause as the two of you hugged for a long time.

“Do you think Y/N’s tactic worked in raising the captain’s spirits?” Spock asked Dr. McCoy as you and Jim made your triumphant retreat.

“Given the way he’s grinning like a loon and been acting like an overexcited puppy, I’d say it was a resounding success,” The Doctor replied, genuinely very happy to see his best friend smiling again. Turns out love was good medicine when it came to Jim Kirk.

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