#i just need to talk about him or i will actually die
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TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.
Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.
But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.
Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).
In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.
At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.
She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.
Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?)
The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.
Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.
He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.
Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."
I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.
Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.
Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.
LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.
Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.
And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)
Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).
So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.
I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.
WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is,
"That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."
Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.
Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.
The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"
Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.
Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.
ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.
SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.
Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)
So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.
I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.
Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?
You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.
(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)
Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.
#francesca bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton s3#john stirling#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton season three#Francesca is Autistic#Autism#Autistic
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time of the month || matt sturniolo
matt x fem!reader
summary: you get your period at work and feel like crap but you have the best caring bf ever
warnings: pure fluff, period, throwing up
word count: 1,2k
🍒
I was in the middle of a meeting when I felt it. I got my period. What a great start of a day. After the meeting was over I went to the bathroom and realized I only have one tampon, no pads and no painkillers. Which is the worst because I already was starting feeling like crap. That's how it always is with me. The minute I get my period I start having cramps and I feel like passing out. It was only one so I had four more hours of work. I got new purse and I forgot to transfer everything from the old one to this. My period was suppose to come in two days so I wasn't ready. The worst thing is that my department is mostly man and there is no tampons in our public bathroom. I need to change that. I went back to the office and started to work. I could survive on that tampon but I really needed the painkillers. I picked my phone from my desk when the time came I could only think about the pain not on my work. I decided to call my boyfriend. I did not want to because I knew he is out with some friends filming. But he was my only other choice.
"Hi, y/n everything okay?" He picked up after two signals.
I never called him at work so he probably got worried.
"Hi, yes, I mean no I feel like I am going to die from cramps but I do not have any painkillers... and I need pads and tampons and I wouldn't call you for that but I am really in pain. I am sorry I forgot to pack everything to my new work bag" I said.
"Oh...how about you call in sick? I'll come pick you up and we will go to my place? I pick up stuff from your apartment on my way. I am sorry baby..." He said.
First day and night of my period was the worst for me. He knew that. Gladly it was Friday so tomorrow I could rot in bed.
"Are you sure? You guys are still out filming?" I asked to make sure.
"Yup, just wrapped up with Jake and on our way back you are on the speaker actually" He said.
"Oh..I am sorry boys that you had to listen to period talk" I said knowing Nick and Chris are there.
"No problem kid, sorry you feel bad" Chris said and Nick yelled from the back that he loves me and will give my all the chocolate.
I smiled.
"Okay I'll wrap up at work and will wait for you. Thanks I love you" I said and I hanged up when he said his goodbye.
They came pick me up 30 minutes later and I was already waiting in front of the building. I climbed in the back since Chris was already sitting next to Matt.
"I would switch with you" Chris said and I only shook my head.
"Hi...Its okay let's just drive home, I need to lay down" I said resting my head on the seat and closed my eyes.
"Hi... here Matt took this from your place" Nick said.
I opened my eyes and saw Nick holding water and ibuprofen for me.
“Thank you…” I took it.
I wanted to talk to them but I just felt like I could pass out any minute. I fall asleep the minute I gave Nick back the water.
“Hey… sweetheart we’re home” I felt Matt’s hand on my shoulder and heard his voice.
I opened my eyes. We were in their garage.
“Oh… sorry I fall asleep” I said.
“Don’t be silly you’re not feeling well. Do you want me to carry you? I already took all the stuff to my room” he said.
“No it’s okay” he moved so I could exit the car.
The moment I stood on my feet I hugged him tight.
“Hello” I said and smiled when I smelled my favorite scent in the whole world. Just him.
He laughed and kissed my head wrapping his arms around me.
“Hi love… let’s go upstairs,hm?” He stroked my back and kissed my forehead few times again and than my lips.
I smiled and moved away a little and we went upstairs.
I had a small talk with his brothers and than I went to take a shower and changed in comfortable clothes. When I came back into Matt’s room he was sitting at his desk. There were snack and food on his bed and my bag was next to the bed as well with target bag full of period stuff I needed.
“Matt… thank you you’re the best” I said and he smiles and stood up.
“Let’s eat knowing you last thing you ate was breakfast” he said and I made a face at him because that was true.
I felt a little better because the meds kicked in.
We ate dinner talking about our day and then Matt cleaned up and put on some movie.
I didn’t even know when I was asleep again but when I woke up the clock was showing 4 am. I was in so much pain and I felt like throwing up. I helped myself up on my arms and stood up. I went to the bathroom and just fell on my knees in front of the toilet. I did not really pay attention if Matt was up or not. But after I let everything out I felt cold towel being put on my neck and my hair was put in the ponytail. I wiped my mouth with the paper and flushed the toilet. I sat on the floor and rested my back on the shower glass.
"Baby....here" Matt gave me water in the cup and he was holding more medicine in his hands.
I opened my mouth and he helped me with it. I swallowed and closed my eyes for a second.
"I am so sorry I woke you up and you had to see this." I said.
I don't know why it was so bad this month. I always had bad periods but lately it was just like I couldn't walk and live for two days.
"Y/n its okay it is not your fault and also I am sorry that you have to feel all this pain I know I would probably die already" He said and it made my laugh.
"Yes I know you would" I said.
"Change and let's go back to bed I'll go grab the heated pad for you" He helped me up. He already brought the stuff to the bathroom.
I brushed my teeth and cleaned myself up and came back to the room. I climbed back to bed and Matt brought me close to his body. His hand slipped under my shirt and waist of my loose shorts. Not in any sexual way. He started to gently massage my abdomen.
"The heating pad is on the night stand for the nigh but it has to worm up" He said and I nodded.
"Matt I love you, you are the best thing that happened to me" I said and I had tears in my eyes. Because of the little things he did for me and him trying to ease my pain. I just wanted to cry.
"Don't cry, please" He said and kissed my shoulder.
"Im sorry its because of the hormones I swear" I laughed.
"Goodnight baby try to get some rest. I love you" He said.
I turned my head and gave him a quick kiss and he smiled a little.
"Goodnight" I said.
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x reader
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For context:
A few days ago, @meagancandraw (Night-Waker) and I did a lil' "what-if" scenario in a private server of what would happen if Moon punched Sun after a hallucination-driven breakdown and then ran off and was visited by someone who gave him the clarity he needed.
The following is what transpired:
NIGHT:
He's starting to hallucinate, goes to hit one, and it ends up being Sun.
Sun: Moon-!
Moon: DON'T TOUCH ME!
(THWACK)
And that's when he snaps out of it-
ME:
The sound echoes, bouncing off the walls and ringing in Moon's audio receptors. There's a frightening sting that spreads across the back of his hand. The swirling black and red of his vision vanishes practically in an instant as he stares mortified at Sun, who cups his cheek with an equally mortified look.
What did he…?
No…no no no what had he done--
?: M-Moon…?!
NIGHT:
Moon can only look at Sun, at the hand holding his cheek. It looks dented, and there's specks of dark blue visible between his fingers. Moon slowly looks down at his own hand, and sees where small streaks of paint have been violently scrapped off, exposing the grey underneath. He feels sick.
Moon: I-
?: Sun!
Lunar runs into the room (Oh God how long had he been standing there how much had he seen), asking Sun if he's okay. The sound is muffled to Moon, however, as he continues to stare at his hand. There's more talking - or is it yelling? - but he can't tell from who. All he hears is static. Horror blooms in his chest and spreads through his circuits
ME:
Earth suddenly rushes in as well, looking between the two. She asks what happened but doesn't get an answer from either, so she asks Lunar, who fills her in. Her eyes widen and she looks to Moon-
God that look…The way she looked at him--horrified, scared, angry--he couldn't bear it.
Before anyone can think to stop him, he turns and activates a random portal, and flees into it.
-
NIGHT:
Moon [begins] spiraling and thinking his whole family must hate him. They should. Not only did he fail to protect Solar, now he's hurt Sun in front of them. He's a horrible brother. They don't deserve as terrible as him. Is hurting his family all he's good for?
ME:
(imagine while in Beta 10 he starts hallucinating.)
"What, gonna start drowning in your own pity party again?"
He sees hallucinations of his family, one by one. Starting with Earth. Then Lunar. Then even Eclipse. Then Sun.
Then Old Moon.
All of them berating and sharp, pushing the dagger in deeper. "You promised you would be better." "Why weren't you honest with how you felt?" "You're a monster." "You're pathetic."
"You did the one thing I told you not to do."
In the midst of the anguish as the people he loves drive home every wound, he hears a voice he doesn't expect and looks-
to see Solar.
Still a hallucination, but…he is different. He's not shouting at Moon for his failures, he's not calling him horrible things.
NIGHT:
"Solar" asking Moon what he's doing here instead of being with his family
Moon (crying): I don't deserve to be with them
ME:
Solar: What makes you think that?
NIGHT:
Moon: Because all I'm good for is hurting them! I hit Sun! I let you die! I can't protect anyone! I'm just as bad as the old me!
ME:
Solar: Moon. If that's all you ever see in yourself, then that is all you will ever be.
NIGHT:
Moon: It's all I am! The old me killed himself because he thought that I would be better, but he was wrong!
ME:
Solar: Was he?
NIGHT:
Moon: Yes! Name one good thing I've done that didn't end up backfiring or making things worse for everyone!
ME:
Solar: hm. Well…from what I heard about the guy, he didn't have a shred of empathy. So you got him beat on that front.
NIGHT:
Moon: Yeah… a lot of good that's done for me
ME:
Solar: Yeah it has. 'Cept I don't think you actually see what good it's done.
NIGHT:
Moon: Like what?
ME:
Solar: well your brother, for one. Would you say you've grown closer since you re-awoke?
NIGHT:
Moon: I… guess? But I still hit him, and I promised myself that this version of me would never do that
ME:
Solar: and you think he's upset with you?
NIGHT:
Moon: Of course he is! Why wouldn't he be?!
ME:
Solar: well, you kinda just ran before you could see what he'd say.
NIGHT:
Moon: …
Moon: That's because I'm a coward
ME:
Solar: hm…didn't they say he was a coward, too?
NIGHT:
Moon: Who?
ME:
Solar: the old you. He ran from his problems too, didn't he?
NIGHT:
Moon: That's part of why he made me. He had a lot of problems and regrets he couldn't face…
If you're here to tell me that I'm doing the same thing right now, trust me, I'm well aware. I guess it's just another thing I have in common with the old me
ME:
Solar: I don't think I'm here to tell you what you've already heard.
NIGHT:
Moon: Then what are you here for?
ME:
Solar: well? You don't want to be like him, right? And if he ran from his problems, what do you think you should do?
NIGHT:
Moon: Yeah, I know… I just… (Sighs) I dunno… what if what happened is just the start? What if Sun and the others are wrong about me, and I just keep getting worse?
ME:
Solar: everyone has highs and lows, Moon. And the lows can really suck sometimes. That's just how life is. But that's what family is for, yeah? To help pick you back up when you're down?
NIGHT:
Moon: …You're right. Heh, even when you're dead you're right
…
(Tears up) God, I miss you
ME:
Solar: (smiles) failing and making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person, Moon. It's how you respond that determines how things go.
NIGHT:
Moon: I should probably get out of here, huh?
ME:
Solar: they're probably out lookin' for ya right now
NIGHT:
Moon: Yeah. I should-
Sun: (From the entrance) Moon…? Are you here?
Moon: Sun? (Looks over at Solar to see that he's vanished)
ME:
Sun: (approaches, finds him staring at the mirror) …figured you'd come here
NIGHT:
Moon: Actually, I set the portal to random
…
…Are you okay?
ME:
Sun: (thinks for a moment). Not happy about being punched again, but…I'm fine. And…m-more worried about you, honestly.
NIGHT:
Moon: I'm… better than I was earlier…
Sun, I am so so sorry for hitting you. I don't think there are any words that can begin to tell you how sorry I am
ME:
Sun: I know you're sorry. I do. But…Moon, this-- (sighs) This can't keep happening.
NIGHT:
Moon: I know...
ME:
Sun: Do you?
NIGHT:
Moon: …
Moon: The old me gave up his life so I could be the better version of him. I already told you what he told me: To protect our family no matter what. That's been my entire purpose since the moment I woke up, but lately it feels like no matter what I do, it's not enough. That I'm not enough. I keep thinking that if I was smarter like him, then Solar would still be alive, or if I did start killing anyone who was a threat - sure, it wouldn't be right, but you'd all at least be safe
…I'm terrified of becoming like the old Moon, Sun. That's the last thing I want, but KC's already dead, and if I can't keep our family safe, then that officially means the old Moon died for nothing! I know that's not an excuse, but I- I can't lose anyone else, Sun!
ME:
Sun: we don't want to lose YOU, Moon! Why should protecting our family be only your responsibility?! Family protects each other, it's not supposed to be one person's burden!
…
The old Moon, he…I get he did what he did to keep me and everyone safe, but…it still hurt people. It still hurt me.
NIGHT:
Moon: I know, and I'm sorry.
…
You're the most important person in my life, Sun. I love Lunar and Earth, but you're the one who keeps me going. It's your light and your strength that inspires me, and I want to protect that at all costs. I want to make sure nothing ever happens to you or the others, even if it means taking on that burden all by myself. I know it's not fair to you, or Lunar and Earth, but I… I don't think I know how to do it any other way.
…But I'd like to learn
ME:
Sun: (listens in silence, then after a moment he sighs) Moon. I know you mean well. But—I am not a child. I am not some delicate thing that needs protecting. I can handle myself. Earth can handle herself, we know that. Lunar…more or less.
(sighs)
But the fact is, our lives are not perfect. Things will happen whether we want them to or not. That’s just how life is. And if you’re so busy going around trying to protect US…then who is going to protect you?
NIGHT:
Moon: (Ponders the question in silence) I've… never really considered that, to be honest. I didn't care what happened to me as long as you guys were okay. I can… see why that's a problem, now that I say it out loud…
(Sighs) I really screwed up…
ME:
Sun: yeah. You did. (he steps and engulfs Moon into a tight hug) but who hasn’t screwed up? I’ve made mistakes. Lunar, too. I’m sure even Earth has. But at the end of the day…we’re still a family, aren’t we?
(he squeezes him)
You’re a real idiot sometimes, Moon. But you’re still my brother, and you always will be.
NIGHT:
Moon: (He hugs him back with his first genuine smile in a long time) Heh, thanks, Sun. I love you, brother
Unbeknownst to any of them, "Solar" is watching them as they leave the bunker. He smiles at the group before fading away…
--The end--
#sams#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#tsams sun#sams sun#tsams moon#sams moon#sams solar#tsams solar#what-if scenario#roleplay sorta#something done for fun#no shipping implied#this is not solarmoon#fnaf sun#fnaf moon
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au where vaggie has another little secret she didn't even know was a secret still (spoiler it's Mortality) (spoiler charlie Isn't Happy) and when she sits down with charlie for a hotel talk it goees like (TRAUMATIC EMOTIONAL SPEED RUN AAAAHAHAHA)
Vaggie: "Alright sweetie, the hotel's going good so far, one soul redeemed, minimal fire damage this week, so we should probably start planning for the next hundred years of operations."
Charlie: "YAY!!! Planning planning planning~ What's first on the list??"
Vaggie: "Start looking for a replacement manager."
Charlie: "You don't wanna keep being manager? OH- we can be CO-FOUNDERS together! WE COULD HAVE A PARTY FOR IT! And plan for the next one too- Charlie and Vaggie's centennial wow the hotel is still here celebration...!"
Vaggie: "That's sweet, but I'll be dead by then either way, so we still need to deal with the staffing shortage before then."
Charlie: "....dead... tired?"
Vaggie: "Dead as in dead. Doornail style."
Charlie: "What?"
Vaggie: "Expired. Shit, when did we last check the hotel fridge..."
Charlie: "Vaggie wait, I'm, I'm not hearing you right, what are you saying?"
Vaggie: "Heaven born don't live forever? Especially not down in hell, turns out."
Charlie: "I don't understand."
Vaggie: (chuckles) "Sweetie, thanks for ignoring my eyebags and zombie groans while getting out of bed in the morning- but my wings are already GREY, for fuck's sake."
Charlie: "Yes they're, grey. Beautiful and- aren't they supposed to be-?"
Vaggie: "And I'm pretty sure it's not just from the stress of running a business for a few months. Being hotel manager isn't that hard."
Vaggie: "....Mostly. Compared to, some things...." (sigh)
Vaggie: "Think anyone would believe that if we put it in the want ad?"
Charlie: "But-"
Vaggie: "No buts. We really need to get a head start on this."
Charlie: "....but you're a winner."
Vaggie: (SNORTS) "In my dating life, yeah. Anyway-"
Charlie: "But none of the other exorcists' wings are grey! So, so THEY aren't aging- so YOU aren't aging!!"
Vaggie: "They've got halos to protect them from the whole physically getting old thing-"
Charlie: "Halos???"
Vaggie: "-so we- they- can keep fit and ready for fighting our- THEIR whole lives, but duh we don't live forever. Lute and Adam left me here to die, not chill for all eternity."
Charlie: "Wh.. but-"
Vaggie: "Can you imagine how much heaven would've freaked if one of their actually immortal souls had gotten killed down here in hell...? But it was just one of us Adam's girls, and it was up to him to deal with it. With more murder. Bastard."
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "Uh.... Charlie?"
Charlie: "....your mortal?"
Vaggie: "I'm, yeah.... wait, Charlie..."
Vaggie: "...people know that about exorcists, right? You didn't... think heaven would risk putting winners in their rank and file army and send them down to hell?"
Charlie: "I thought you were a sinner."
Vaggie: "Hostia- right. I keep forgetting, they don't get old do they?"
Charlie: "Sinners don't. They get killed but they don't just. Die."
Vaggie: "I'm sorry. I thought- I really should've told you-"
Charlie: "Angels aren't supposed to die either."
Vaggie: "We did a good job proving that wrong. Exhibit A, Adam's corpse."
Charlie: "He was KILLED- it's not the same!"
Vaggie: "And angels aren't the same either. There's a lot of different kinds in creation- most of us aren't in the higher orders, there's waaaay more exorcists than seraphim."
Charlie: "But heaven is still supposed to be HEAVEN! People don't DIE in heaven! That wouldn't be Heaven! How could- how could it ever be HAPPY up there if, if- if people still left!?"
Vaggie: "Oh, sweetie... the only people who've earned a heaven like that are the winners. The rest of us are just-"
Charlie: "Just what? JUST, WHAT???"
Vaggie: "We're there to make heaven a good place for them. Keep it running smooth and safe. Mostly it's the higher ups who deal with winners personally, the rest of us stay back and stick to our jobs, try to keep some distance so no one... gets too attached... shit that sounded a lot less fucked up before I said it out loud-"
Vaggie: "Look- it's like that with hellborn too isn't it? The imps and hellhounds and-"
Charlie: "NO! YES? But this is HELL! Of course it hurts and isn't fair! You're not FROM hell it's not supposed to BE like that for you!"
Vaggie: "Or for my girlfriend."
Charlie: "I'm not the one who's dying!"
Vaggie: "You're kinda freaking-"
Charlie: "IM NOT FREAKING OUT!!"
Vaggie: "Right. I meant, you should've had more warning. I'm sorry I didn't say... I wasn't thinking that far ahead."
Charlie: "WELL I WAS! And I'm not- we're not losing that."
Vaggie: "Charlie-"
Charlie: "We're getting you your halo back."
Vaggie: "Pretty sure it's already been recycled-"
Charlie: "THEN WE'RE FINDING ONE FROM ONE OF THE DEAD EXORCISTS and you are WEARING IT until we FIX THIS."
Vaggie: "Sweetie- heaven collected all the halos from our battle-"
Charlie: "They didn't pick up all the spears and stuff, maybe they also missed-"
Vaggie: "No they wouldn't have. Halos aren't, they're not like the weapons. Heaven doesn't care if sinners kill each other with some left behind divine steel, but a halo? They store and conduct heavenly power or whatever. No one's gonna leave one of them lying around."
Charlie: "Fine. FINE- let me think-"
Vaggie: "Can we think less and focus more on you not shaking like a damn leaf first? C'mon, sit down-"
Charlie: "-the angel Carmilla killed. We'll use that one."
Vaggie: "We could use a deep breath right now."
Charlie: "It's head was missing when heaven picked up the body."
Vaggie: "Yeah? An Overlord probably has it hanging on their wall, big whoop, Charlie please slow down-"
Charlie: "If it's head was left behind then maybe it's halo was too! If we find the Overlord-"
Vaggie: "No. No more deals with Overlords."
Charlie: "I'll make as many damn deals with them as I want!"
Vaggie: "But not for ME, alright! If it's about me then you don't get to sell your fucking soul! Or bind it or whatever! You can't make me be the reason for that!"
Charlie: "Vaggie- we NEED that halo."
Vaggie: "No we don't. I don't."
Charlie: "You're dying without it!"
Vaggie: "I KNOW I am. But that's just, life!"
Charlie: "LIFE? Dying so soon isn't-!"
Vaggie: "Charlie, you're half seraphim. You mom was the original demon, your view on life expectancies is kinda skewed."
Charlie: "You said the halos let you live longer!"
Vaggie: "I said they keep us young. It's not the same thing."
Charlie: "It's still SOMETHING!"
Vaggie: "We don't even know that would help at this point, I've been in hell for years-"
Charlie: "Oh so we shouldn't even try!? Just, sit back and go 'well we haven't don't anything to stop this but I guess it was just completely unavoidable'-"
Vaggie: "It probably WON'T help. No, listen- It worked up in heaven and for short runs down here- that doesn't mean it'd have any power to draw on in hell. It's probably just a fancy looking hoop down here."
Charlie: "Then we'll get you back to heaven until we can make it work."
Vaggie: "I'm not going back to fucking heaven!"
Charlie: "AND I'M NOT LETTING YOU STAY HERE AND DIE!"
Vaggie: "You can't kick me out- this is OUR hotel, not just yours."
Charlie: "YOU- you-"
Vaggie: "We need. To calm down."
Charlie: "CALM DOWN! Every second you spend down here your body is-"
Vaggie: "Not dying anytime soon, okay? I'm fine. This whole talk has gone way too far way, way to fast. That's my fault for not thinking about all this sooner, but. Just. Take a breath. Let's just take a breath, take a break, and come back to this when we're both had a moment."
Charlie: "....."
Charlie: "Did you plan all this."
Vaggie: "What?"
Charlie: "Owning the hotel together. Making sure you couldn't be forced out of hell."
Vaggie: "That's not why we started the hotel-"
Charlie: "No, that's not what I was thinking when we started it. But were you?"
Vaggie: "Charlie... you're connecting dots that aren't there..."
Charlie: "You're here. You're here and dying and don't want to leave."
Vaggie: "I'd be dying up in heaven too."
Charlie: "But your wings wouldn't already be GREY, would they?"
Vaggie: "They'd still be an exorcist's wings, if I'd never left-"
Charlie: "Well they're not anymore and going back wouldn't change that. All it would do is help you stay alive."
Vaggie: "I don't want that life."
Charlie: "It's that or die."
Vaggie: "You're being dramatic-"
Charlie: "You've always said you liked that about me. Was that a lie too?"
Vaggie: "No."
Charlie: "Do you want to die, Vaggie?"
Vaggie: "Of course I don't- I could've just let Lute-"
Charlie: "Die, not be killed. Does it make you feel better about all the people you've killed? You'll die and join them, sooner rather than later?"
Vaggie: "......."
Vaggie: "... I want. To spend my life. With you."
Charlie: "No you don't." (voice cracking) "You can't do that when you're dead."
Vaggie: "That's not my fault."
Charlie: "Your choice though, right?"
Vaggie: "It’s not same thing-"
Charlie: "Yes it is. You want to be one who leaves."
Vaggie: "....... wouldn't you?"
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "..."
Charlie: "I don't.... want it to b- be like this."
Vaggie: "I know."
Charlie: "I want US! Not like this."
Vaggie: "I know, sweetie, I know... I'm so sorry-"
Charlie: "Stop it." (muffled in vaggie's hair) "You don't want this either, stop apologizing for it!"
Vaggie: "... I shouldn't have let you think, it could be different."
Charlie: "...."
Charlie: "It will be."
Vaggie: "Okay. Denial, that's a, normal step in-"
Charlie: "No- It WILL BE. I- We going to- we'll MAKE it different."
Vaggie: "I don't think we can..."
Charlie: "We will."
Vaggie: "Charlie-"
Charlie: "Damnit just trust me! If we can save a sinner's soul, then we can f-fucking save you."
Vaggie: "....."
Charlie: "Please, Vaggie. Can we try?"
Vaggie: "...it'll be a waste of time."
Charlie: "No it won't."
Vaggie: "We're already not gonna have forever together, sweetie. Why not just. Enjoy what we do have?"
Charlie: "I will! We will."
Charlie: "But we're going to have longer than one century for it."
Vaggie: "Half that, maybe..."
Charlie: "That's not the sound of trying. Vaggie. Please."
Vaggie: "...well... if you're gonna look at me like that about it..."
Charlie: "Don't joke about this."
Vaggie: "I'm not." (smile) "I just know better than to doubt Charlie Morningstar when she gets an idea into her cute, stubborn head."
Charlie: "All my head needs right now is an answer. One word. Clear. Honest."
Vaggie: "... alright. Yes. We can try."
Charlie: "Thank you." (kiss) "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."
Vaggie: "But you have to promise me. No deals. No selling souls- not for my sake, not even a little bit. Got it?"
Charlie: "Why are you so strict about this-"
Vaggie: "Because it's your soul."
Charlie: "-people make deals all the time! YOU made one with-"
Vaggie: "And it creeped me out even though it wasn't with my soul. Do you promise?"
Charlie: "This is a heaven thing isn't it?"
Vaggie: "Do you promise."
Charlie: "...."
Charlie: "I won't make, deals with anyone in hell, to save you."
Vaggie: (breathes out) "Then... we'll start by talking to Carmilla tomorrow."
Charlie: "TOMORROW!? But that-"
Vaggie: "Will give us time to figure out what we actually wanna SAY to Carmilla. She's still an Overlord, Charlie. Any info we give her she'll want to sure to keep her family safe first."
Charlie: "I know the fucking feeling..."
Vaggie: "So we're slowing this down and doing things carefully, so we do them right. Right?"
Charlie: "Right." (grumbling) "Fools rush in- blah blah BLAH."
Vaggie: "That's my girl."
Vaggie: (hesitates) (tentative smooch)
Vaggie: "Feeling better?"
Charlie: "Fine. I wish you'd stop asking ME that."
Vaggie: "Just glad you're not shaking so much anymore. Kinda scared me for a second."
Charlie: "I'm fine." (sighs) (hugs vaggie) "I didn't mean..."
Vaggie: "I didn't mean to scare you, too."
Charlie: "It's fine. You'll be okay."
Vaggie: "Mm. Already am."
Charlie: "And we're NOT looking for a replacement hotel manager."
Vaggie: "We're gonna need-"
Charlie: "NO."
Vaggie: "-okay. We'll hold off on it. We've got time."
Charlie: (holds her closer) (glares at distant light of heaven)
#hazbin hotel#vaggie#charlie morningstar#chaggie#incorrect quotes#angst#vaggie aged wings au#this is what happens when my cat wakes me up after 2 hours sleep with wet sandpaper in the face#i look at vaggie and go#“ok but what if she was dying?what if charlie was about to do something really stupid about it????”#ta-daa
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HI !! I hope youre feeling much better!! I was thinking that since you were having some health issues maybe I could ask for some "frank nursing u back to health" hc??? to keep up with the theme?? 😁😁
Girrrlll, now this is a HC that'll be easy to write.
How Boyfriend!Frank Nurses You Back to Health
You don't quite own up to being sick at first, your tendency for self-blame and shame convincing you that your illness was some sort of moral failing but Frank wasn't having any of that. He saw it coming from a mile away-- overworked, not enough rest, immune system was taking a hit. After an argument about it, he convinces you to rest with "Listen sweetheart, you can either stay in bed on your own or I'll guard the damn door and make sure you do. Either way you're gettin' some fuckin' rest alright?"
Once you were squared away, Frank took a small measure of delight in calling up your boss to tell him you were out for a minimum of three days and finally giving him an earful about overworking and underpaying you. He ends the conversation with "And this conversation stays between us otherwise I'll see to it we have a personal meetin', alright?"
You make the mistake of checking your email on your phone ONE TIME and Frank sees to confiscating it almost instantly. He's acting like he has no choice and talking to you like this hands are tied like "Sweetheart I know you might wanna watch your Tik Toks too but until I can trust you with it again, I gotta take it, alright? I hate doin' to ya doll but you're not listenin' and I told ya' you need rest."
Your congestion is so bad that Frank has resorted to giving you a head massage, going on about "gotta work the fluid out sweetheart" and you're trying to tell him thats called lymphatic drainage but he's all "I don't know about all that woo woo shit doll." Despite feeling like he's crushing your skull, it actually works quite well however, it does leave you majorly tender and bruised the next day, which is the only time Frank can handle having bruised you and even then he's apologizing all day and asking how it's feeling.
When Frank has to step out for a few hours you get the sneaking suspicion that he's enlisted your friends and sister to check in on you because you seem to be getting "need anything?" and "how are you feeling?" texts about every 30 mins on the dot. You end up silencing your phone just to get some peace (though that's short lived when Frank can't get in touch with you and you have to quite literally say "I'm gonna die from a cold Frank. I was just napping")
When Frank shows up back home he's got a batch of your grandma's chicken noodle soup that he drove 2 hours roundtrip to get because he remembered that you said it always helped when you were younger. This makes you weepy (because you're always weepy when you're sick and run down) and Frank pulls you into his lap and rubs big circles on your back and tells you "I know doll, bein' sick is hard. Takin' care of you ok? Lemme fix you a bath while the soup heats up, ya?"
When it's bedtime, Frank simply SLATHERS you in Vicks vapor rub. He literally heats it up on a spoon like heroin (something the instructions explicitly say not to!) and says "alright, chin up, come on doll" so he can coat your chest and neck in Vicks, adding some to the bottoms of your feet for good measure. But damn if he wasn't right -- you get a good night's sleep.
If I had this level of care in real life I'd look forward to being sick.
#frank castle#frank castle x reader#frank castle fanfiction#frank castle fanfic#frank castle x you#frank castle smut#frank castle x y/n#frank castle fluff#frank castle headcanons#frank castle x female reader#frank castle x fem!reader
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i need to be a hater on main about scavenger's reign or i will explode. i cannot be alone in this.
now that it's being moved to netflix and people are talking about it again, all i'm seeing is glowing praise and absolutely no criticism of the writing. i will gladly agree with anyone that it's visually stunning. like, a+ in that regard no argument. great looking show, and the worldbuilding of the planet vesta is super cool and clearly considered. i like those parts! but that seems to be all anybody is responding to when they praise it.
the character writing is fucking ridiculous. i could point at any of them individually and go "what the fuck is this" but it's been months since i watched it and i don't like arguing a point i can't clearly remember. but it was the most egregious around ursula so i'm going to focus on her. her character seems to exist just to cause problems for no reason, to the point where she's also the only character we get no backstory on. we never see her in flashbacks on the ship, never learn what she did for it or why she was there, nothing about her at all. she is the only one.
and she is the #1 source of shattering my suspension of disbelief. you cannot tell me that she and sam were surviving together for a month on this incredibly hostile planet, working together every day to call the ship down, to figure out how the world worked and what was dangerous and what they could use.... and then tell me she would turn around and treat him the way she does.
spoilers below the cut
she is so hostile toward him all the time for no reason. she wanders off to go look at a weird plant in the middle of a bramble that crushes you if you don't get out the right way, leaving sam alone on the outside with no idea what she's doing or where she is or if she's alive. and when she comes out and he is VERY REASONABLY upset that she did that and isn't interested in hearing about the thing she saw, SHE gets mad at him and says she doesn't need him.
YOU DONT NEED HIM? THE GUY WHO HELPED YOU SURVIVE THIS ENTIRE TIME? THE ONLY OTHER LIVING HUMAN ON THE PLANET AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, WHO IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE GOING, AND HAS THE CREDENTIALS TO GET YOU INTO THE SHIP? you have been alone with him for a MONTH, he is your ONLY HUMAN COMPANION, and you think you DON'T NEED HIM?? BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU IN A LOUD WAY?
this could be explainable if there was any real tension between them, or if we're given any reason to believe she actually could survive without him, but there isn't! she fucks up with the spores in the very first episode and would absolutely die if she was alone. sam is never anything but a good leader to her and keeps trying to look out for her, and any time he's "wrong" it's because he showed reasonable caution about the fuckplanet. he gets hurt by the egg parasite because he didn't want to climb into a giant animal's egg sac. reasonable thing to not want to do! when he and ursula get into that argument about her disappearing on him, he gets hauled off by the weird emu for the dramatic irony. because he was upset his only companion in the world disappeared. he never does anything wrong. it's never his actual character flaws that he gets punished for, it's only ursula's ~trusting your instincts~ shit that ever gets him hurt. she is ultimately responsible for his death but the show never acts like it.
so much of the show seemed to be drama for drama's sake. do not get me fucking started on kamen's creature. what was that thing's fucking problem. what was kris' fucking problem?
if i have to ask 'what is their PROBLEM' at every other character's choices, your writing is not good.
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Let's talk about how Ulder Ravengard was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year when he finally runs into Wyll, for the first time in seven years, and his son is now definitely maybe sort of a devil?
Look, D&D cannon is absolutely wild and inconsistent but I need ya'll to know approximately how many horrible things befell Ulder Ravengard in the few months right before the events of Baldur's Gate 3.
Ulder Ravengard goes to Elturel. This is fairly normal. He often had to travel as a Duke for diplomatic reasons to nearby cities. Sure, the Vanthampurs' had their fingers pulling the strings this time to ensure he went, but that is also, unfortunately, normal. And it's not like anyone else can go in his place. Who would he send? Portyr whose only use is as a windsock? Stelmane who is suffering from the long term effects of a "stroke"? Vanthampur?
(Portyr, Stelmane, and Vanthampur being the other four dukes at the time)
So he goes and it's supposed to just be another diplomatic trip to a neighboring city. Except exactly nothing goes to plan. The Vanthampurs have made an alliance with devils and a deal with the leaders of Elturel to orchestrate the fall of the entire city into Avernus. Ulder Ravengard is there with several of the Flaming Fist when the entire city is plunged into hell. And no, Avernus is not some sort of cushy vacation spot. There's a reason why Karlach would rather die than go back. There's a reason why it is called hell.
It's not hard to imagine he watches many of the Flaming Fist get slaughtered. People he's worked with for years, maybe even decades. People he called friends. Not hard to think that he watches innocents suffer as they are preyed upon by devils and demons, children slaughtered in the streets all while he is helpless to stop it from happening. It's not out of the question to think this is possibly one of the worst times in his life. Oh, Ulder Ravengard has been through numerous disasters before. He's watched countless friends die. But when has he ever been so helpless as the time he was caught in an entire city of relative innocents as it is dragged down to the hells?
It gets worse.
You see, Ulder Ravengard is put into a catatonic state by the Demon Lord Baphomet using the the Helm of Torm's sight. The Helm of Torm's sight is a holy item that allows the user to commune with Torm (god of Duty, Loyalty, etc). In a last ditch effort to save the city of Elturel, Ulder Ravengard attempted to get to the Helm in the hopes that it could be used to fight back. Instead he gets to watch as his hope is perverted and used against him. He gets to see himself fall helpless and under control of the demon while his men are slaughtered in the attack.
We don't know how Ulder Ravengard escapes this situation (*cough* play Descent into Avernus *cough*) but somehow he does. After weeks of fighting in the hells (maybe even months?) and narrowly escaping with his life and mind intact Ulder Ravengard is hurrying back to Baldur's Gate as quickly as he can. He knows the city is in danger, whether the Vanthampurs' succeeded at seizing power or not. And on the way home he gets ambushed by fucking goblins and drow working together. He gets to see as some of the few survivors who made it through their time in Avernus with him, get killed. He gets to see his close friend and advisor Counselor Florrick get trapped in a burning building.
Then he's kept imprisoned, and likely harassed, in the dungeons of Moonrise towers. All he hears is 'the Absolute' this and 'the Absolute' that. Then what does he know but apparently the mastermind behind this whole thing is fucking Gortash, the slimy counselor he has spent the past while doing his best to ignore because even if he didn't like him and thought most of his ideas were bad he couldn't actually do anything to get rid of him. And then Orin—a fucking Bhaalspawn—uses him for a chair while Ketheric Thorm goes on a whiny oh-woe-is-me rant and Gortash sticks a tadpole in his eye all while mocking him.
He then gets to spend the next while under control of the Absolute. We don't know how unpleasant this is, but we do know that when the Absolute controls someone directly their brain starts bleeding so severely they collapse and die after less than a minute :) and when he's finally freed from the Absolute he has chronic migraines so yeah not fucking pleasant :)))))
And then his son rescues him. Yay. His son who he strove to teach right from wrong all those years. His son to whom he imparted the four pillars: strategy, courage, justice, insight. His son, who, despite everything he has ever taught him chose to throw all of his promise away to a devil. And he doesn't know why and maybe he hopes that there was a good reason behind it all, but he does know that he lost any chance he had to ever be able to fully trust his son again because he doesn't know the terms of the pact and he can't know the full terms of the pact but he does know that his son is now under the control of a devil.
And please just take a moment to think about how terrifying that would be. This isn't something that an 'I'm sorry' can fix. Wyll says it himself: it would be easier to drink the Chionthar down, drop by drop, than to break a devil's pact. The chances of Wyll ever being freed from his pact are slim to none and the damage he could do in the mean time is immeasurable. Ulder Ravengard has the weight of an entire city's well being on his shoulders. I am not saying he made the right choice, but there is a reason why Wyll says it was the only choice he could make. He told Wyll to go. Maybe out of shame, maybe out of fear, maybe out of the hope that his son would do less damage far away than if he were to stay. We don't know why. Maybe he regretted it, maybe he never looked back.
But he's been having one of the worst fucking years of his life and most of it is due either directly to devils or to people conspiring with devils. His mind has been scraped raw by the Absolute. He's injured and if you broke Wyll's pact he was just attacked by another devil and exploding spiders. If you didn't break Wyll's pact, he just saw evidence that Wyll is still in leagues with a devil, after all Mizora states very clearly that she always fulfills her promises as she saves him.
Oh and if you didn't kill Karlach, Wyll is a devil now (*techinically he is still human, just with some devilish features and will be regonized as infernal in origin by the spell Detect Good and Evil, but Ulder Ravengard doesn't have the insight to game mechanics that we have and may or may not be aware that Wyll turning into a devil is a lot less probable than him just being made to look like one.)
So maybe, it's just a little understandable that instead of greeting Wyll with joy or gratitude at being saved the first thing he thinks, the only thing he can think of is: what fresh hell is he in for now?
(And maybe ya'll can be a little more understanding of Wyll choosing to forgive his father too. I don't think it's out of character for Wyll. I don't think he's ignoring everything wrong with what his father did. I don't think Wyll is a bad person for choosing to forgive his father or that anger would have been the right choice for him. It's far, far more complicated than that.)
#ulder ravengard#bg3#bg3 spoilers#wyll ravengard#descent into avernus#I needed to make my position on Ulder known early on#yes there are legitimate issues with his parenting#but he is also just a guy trying his best#magpiediscourse#the D&D canon might not be 100% correct#I'm trying but it's not even a little bit consistent#trust me the tears I have shed while attempting to write canon compliant D&D fanfic
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Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden Stellaworth Tokuten Short Stories スペシャル特典小冊子 ☽ Yuma ver.
This short story booklet was part of the Stellaworth set for Lost Eden! Keep reading below the cut for Yuma's version. Kou's and Azusa's are coming soon!
[Ruki's version] [Kou's version] [Azusa's version]
Special thanks to @karleksmumskladdkaka for providing the scans ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
I wanted to atone for my sins, that bastard–Shuu had said.
At the time, I thought he was fucking with me, but when I thought about it, I realised I might actually be trying to do the same..
☽
“Fuck… Where’d that pipsqueak go?” I barged through the streets in a quiet Eden.
Eden is about as big as it looks. It’s got plenty of hiding places, which I knew from the time I spent here growing up. That meant that trying to find someone here was next to impossible.
To make matters worse, the person I was looking for was about as tiny as a sprout.
“Yuma?”
When I turned the corner, the person I saw unfortunately wasn’t the kid I was looking for… or so I thought. There he was, staring up at me in amazement from my girl’s arms.
“Huh, so he was with you…”
I sighed heavily. He seemed to be sleeping pretty soundly, too, completely oblivious to my relief.
As soon as the kid became able to move on his own, he disappeared as soon as you took your eyes off him. It’s not like the pipsqueak could actually run around and get very far, but his unpredictable movements made me anxious to lose sight of him.
“Jeez… I thought he’d be a bit more well-behaved.”
Unlike that pain-in-the-ass, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut.
“Don’t you think he’s starting to resemble you, Yuma?”
“What? You don’t know that. He can’t even talk yet.”
“I know, but… When I see you two side by side, you do kind of look alike. Maybe because you spend so much time together.”
I fell silent. She looked me in the eye, a kind smile on her face. She probably saw right through my behaviour, too.
The reason why I needed to protect this… this kid… was it really because I wanted to atone for my sins? I suddenly pondered that question. Boss was killed under my watch–twice–and then Shuu went and died on me too. Those sins of mine might’ve been weighing on me more than I’d initially thought.
Still, even if I make amends, that bastard is no longer around to see it. And it’s not just him. I lost everything dear to me many times over, and even the most important things to me now I can count on one hand.
And that’s when this little creature came into my life.
I had to protect him. I couldn’t just let him die like I had let the others die. At least, that’s what I thought–that I wanted to repent. But at the same time, I was also kinda hesitant to attribute that sentiment to something else.
She didn’t beat around the bush, though–she told me it was love.
“Ah, did we wake you?”
The kid, who’d been cooped up in her arms, slowly stirred awake. He opened his eyes, still a bit sleepy, and looked in my direction as he yawned unabashedly. A big, carefree yawn. The fact that his languid expression reminded me of a certain someone irritated me, but I felt myself relax a little, too.
“Not a single thought going on in that lil’ head, huh? Just like that NEET.”
She laughed.
“C’mere. I’ll hold him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, ‘n gimme your hand, too.”
I grabbed her small hand in mine while I held the baby in the other. These were the two people I wanted to protect most of all. Their warmth proved that they were alive and well, and when they were near me, my mind went in all sorts of foolish directions.
Even if this was my atonement, I strongly felt that I never, ever wanted to lose these two. And that was enough for me. It wasn’t really in my nature to worry about these kinds of things, after all.
Having put my doubts behind me, I felt myself getting tired, too. I couldn’t hold back a yawn.
“Ah, look at him.”
The kid stared up at us as he yawned in the exact same way, earning a chuckle from my girl.
#diabolik lovers#dialovers#diabolik lovers translation#diabolik lovers translations#diahell#otomehonyaku#my translations#mukami yuma#yuma mukami#diabolik lovers lost eden#lost eden
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Hope your day or night is going well!! ✨
Okay, top five Megumi lines/scenes?
ahhh thank you i hope yours is as well!! and thank you for the ask!!
im in the car rn so some of these i couldn’t track down the specific chapter/page bc i dont wanna use all my data :’)
1 - “i’m not like itadori, i have no problem earning 100 points for myself.” or something along that line
one of the things that fascinates me the most about megumi is the way he places value on lives, and this line is just so cool to me. he’d said before this that he saves people unequally, but this shows just how far that goes. he’ll kill anywhere from 20-100 random people so tsumiki and itadori, the two people he cares about and thinks are worth saving more than anyone else, don’t have to get their hands dirty, and their lives hold more value to him than others. it’s also so interesting to me because of the way megumi doesn’t consider himself a good person like tsumiki or itadori, and therefore doesn’t really see himself as worth saving, so it’s just a necessary burden he has to carry as the “bad” person for those two. also add that in w this line, and im on the floor
2 - his battle vs sukuna at the detention facility/“i’m not a hero, i’m a jujutsu sorcerer”
another moment where we get an insight into his ideas on good/bad people and who deserves saving, can you tell i love this aspect of his character? i mean, he’s about to sacrifice himself for itadori to live (hopefully), even though he literally met the guy two weeks ago, because he thinks he’s a good person who deserves saving. it’s the first insight we get into megumi’s thought process, and this was really the moment that made me start paying attention to him more. i also love how he kept a softer expression on his face and didn’t cry until after itadori died, like he didnt want itadori to feel sad or guilty in his final moments im SICK also the fact that he took the name-tag to that guys mom even though he didnt have an interest in saving him, like he was paying a respect to itadori….ugh…anyway yeah i love dissecting the way he values life.
3 - “so start by saving me, itadori”
see as an itafushist of course this had to make the list like this whole chapter has me on the floor but anyway aside from that, i love thinking about this scene because the words he’s saying seem so contrary to how he thinks? like he’s asking to be saved but he doesn’t think he’s worth saving? so it needs an extra layer of consideration. i feel like he really said this more to motivate yuuji (and save tsumiki) than actually wanting to be saved himself. plus the “it’s our fault, don’t be selfish and give up all alone” aaahhahahsj i just love this moment i feel like it shows his character very well….when the idgafer actually very much gaf….
4 - his first domain expansion
hellooo this was so sick and cool and badass of him like i dont think there’s anything i need to say for this. huge character development moment for him too. add this with the simple domain he had in dagon’s domain + the part in the culling games arc where he literally hides himself in the shadows……he’s crazy powerful and i dont wanna hear anything abt it! if u were traumatized like that you’d be curled up on the floor too
5 - “if you die, i’ll kill you” both times
again as an itafushist i couldnt not include this….of course there’s implications for megumi’s character as well but i feel like there’s only so much i can talk about his moral code in one post yk? but yeah i think it just shows how much the people he cares about matter to him
also bonus i love just any culling games megumi, his determination to save tsumiki and make it so itadori doesnt have to kill anyone makes him grow so much as a character and as a sorcerer, i love it sm
thank u for the ask! any excuse to yap about megumi 🤞
#me when i queue an ask game and then forget#i have no idea what’s in my queue tbh#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk spoilers#megumi fushiguro#itafushi
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This is for the lovely @will-graham-my-beloved who asked some follow-up questions in the tags of my big analysis - hi there darling!
First of: I do believe that Astarion spent a long time believing that he wanted to ascend. He's pretty much been talking about it since learning about the scars on his back and it was made quite clear that he was more than interested in it.
Even upon learning the sacrifice he would have to make he isn't backing down and that's for one simple reason - nobody would hesitate if roles were reversed. The world was never kind to or considerate for him so why the ever loving fuck would he waste any sympathy on others? Even the siblings that know his suffering better than anyone?
No, the world belongs to those who take ruthlessly and he shall be one of them.
Then: When you say "the spawn visiting him" I assume you mean the night where Astarions "siblings" attack us at camp to drag his pale arse back to Cazador and how he basically disregards them on terms of gaining the power he so desperately craves.
And Astarion IS desperate.
Not only is this all happening in act three, after Astarion had a good taste of the freedom he could have once Cazador is dead, no it's also just when the thing that promises safety and strength is just within his reach.
As always, safety is our buzzword here. Because while Astarion is no longer caught in his initial fight or flight mode, he is still fragile and undoubtedly scared.
You don't just shake off abuse and trauma in a few weeks, so ascension is still so, so enticing because it will make him strong and once he is, he won't have to fear anyone ever again - not even the sun!
Sacrificing his siblings - whom he may or may not have any affection for - is pretty much a small price to pay.
(It is obviously not, since I foggily remember that he feels the need to rationalise his future deed by mentioning how his siblings have done terrible things and how they pretty much deserve to die for something good, while continously and passionately making excuses for his own behaviour on account of not being able to resist Cazador, but what else is new at this point. The boy may as well change his name to Minimise or Rationalise, with how skilled he talks down even the most horrifying deed as long as it offers him safety!)
And, on top of that, there's another motivating factor on why ascension sounds so good right then - revenge.
Astarion is desperate for revenge - in fact, I say he feels rather entitled to it - and he himself mentions that killing Cazador can never be enough. He wants to rip his life's work away from him and take it for himself to kick the leech while he's down.
So I'd say his willingness to literally murder the other spawn absolutely stems from a combination of fear, longing for safety and power - for both himself and Tav - and intense thirst for revenge.
His need to rationalise and/or minimise what he's about to do sheds some light onto the underlying hesitancy he likely feels, though.
Someone who is 100% convinced that they're doing the right thing doesn't feel the need to explain themselves or to make excuses as for why the thing they're doing is actually the best thing ever. They know they're right and they know everybody else can see that at a first glance because it should be obvious.
And I'm very sure that Astarion knows his plan is pretty much none of that even without Tav's input.
He knows it's the wrong thing to do, and he likely has an inkling that he isn't being smart, but he doesn't want to think about that. He's just so battered and bruised at this point that rationality is overshadowed by rage, desperation and fear which, in turn, convince him thar ascension is the only way to finally live the life he so desperately desires.
I hope that was what you wanted me to consider! If not, I ask for your leniency - it's super late and I'm on my third day insomnia streak haha - and that you just hit me up real quick so that I can try again!
Now, please have a lovely day, duck!
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TMAGP EP 16 REACTION (SPOILERS BELOW)
CELIA HOLDING ALICE HOLY SHIT MAN THE SAMALICELIA POLYCULE IS GOING SOMEWHERE I also think this might be Celia's instinct to comfort from being a mother maybe??? BUT ALICELIA FEELS. My God their ship name could be a palindrome. Insane.
DEAR LORD DID ALICE SEE HER PARENTS DIE???? MY POOR GIRL.
Tape recorder is gone??? And yeah I suspected that the woman had been dead the whole time. Something was using her as a mouth piece, maybe something relates to ep 11 with the deep??
I think Celia and Sam saying they believe Alice is gonna bring them closer. I know people are sus of Celia so it could be a ploy to get closer to the OIAR employees, but I don't know, with her disliking Lady Mowbray, I'm more inclined to trust her.
The fact that Alice says "paid my horror dues" makes me think she knows more about said horrors and is working at the OIAR specifically to avoid it. Were her parents killed by The Horror?
"I think there's plenty of it go around at the moment" Yeah she's talking about Lady Mowbray. Seriously, I have respect for Celia, she really stood her ground last episode.
Man the fact that we were like "omg what if Alice's phone call ends up being a statement!!" In a serious way meanwhile Alice is like "yeah no Freddie will probably spit out in a few days so nothing to be concerned about". What if. Tho. Gwen ends up hearing the phone call. That would be interesting. Speaking of, where is our corporate girlfailure.
Sam you awkward little bean I love you. I'm sure Celia and Alice just gave him the fondest, "You're such a dumbass" look.
SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER TIME????
OH NO. OH NO FUCK AM I GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH INK5OUL. THEIR VOICE.
I'm sorry I now understand what Alex meant when he said this episode was social-cringe-horror. The misuse of AAVE is actually so accurate please help my I'm on the floor screaming this should not be this funny-
Damn so does Ink5oul tattoo....pain or something? I don't have a tattoo myself (yet. I'm gonna get one. As soon as I stop being squeamish about needles. Oh. Needles.) But I don't think they're meant to hurt THAT much???
...I genuinely SHOULD NOT like Ink5oul this much. Please. You cannot do this to me I cannot have a Michael Part 2.
OH MY GOD ITS A YOUTUBER DRAMA VIDEO IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE I CANNOT BE LAUGHING THIS HARD.
I'm sorry THE SITUATIONSHIP FUCKING SENT ME YOU'RE TELLING ME INK5OUL IS IN A SITUATIONSHIP WITH A GOTH GIRL INFLUENCER PLEASE RUSTY QUILL I NEED TO BE SERIOUS I CANNOT DO THIS.
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I CANNOT DO THIS I HAVE PAUSED 7 TIMES NOW JUST BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD TO KEEP HEARING. INK5OUL IS HOT AND A GOTH CONFIRMED.
Shut up. SHUT UP. NOT FUCKING DIG. ARE YOU SERIOUS. NO WAY.
Also let me add all the video sound effects are taking me out I LITERALLY cannot do this PLEASE-
OH MY GOD. WAIT. IS THIS WHEN INK5OUL WAS LOOKING FOR THE BODY WITH THE TATTOO FROM EP 11. HOLY SHIT.
"Hell no i ain't gonna call it in" girl by making the video you are basically calling it in what the fuck
THE YOUTUBER DRAMA IS TAKING ME OUT PLEASE THIS IS SOME NICOCADO AVODACO VS STEPHANIE SOO TYPE SHIT (Stephanie Soo all the way honeyyyy).
So...Does Ink5oul have the ability to make people feel pain through the tattoos they do? It's seeming like that's the case.
"The views are cutting me" HUH???? THATS. LIKE. THE EDGES ARE CUTTING ME??? WHAT IS HAPPENING??? HELLO?????
IS SHE DYING. THATS HORRIBLE RN WHAT THE FUCK ALICE LITERALLY JUST SAW SOMEONE DIE NOW SHE HAS TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE DIE????
Okay wait now that Sam has let go of his "be professional" bullshit I'm back on his track SAMALICELIA LETS GOOO
THERE SHE IS THE CORPORATE GIRLFAILURE
Ohhhh Lena. Oh boy. I can understand her tbh, Gwen has no idea what's happening and she's just doing her own thing. Whether she's evil or not, Lena still knows better what's going on and can avoid unnecessary risks. Especially since Lena does seem to care if other employees get hurt.
I SEE HOW IT IS GWEN. SO YOU'LL BE HORRIFIED BY MR. BONZO BUT NOT OF THE CANNIBALISTIC HUNTING WOMAN BECAUSE SHES A LADY OF THE ARISTOCRACY. CLASSISM AT ITS FINEST. I HATE MR. BONZO BUT AT LEAST HES A WORKING CLASS...CLOWN MONSTER THING.
Okay so the Externals are like. A Thing here. Kind of like avatars? I'm not saying in the sense of fears, I mean they're beings that are not human anymore and possibly dangerous.
Wait but I understand Gwen though "You can't take this away just because I did something you never bothered to tell me not to do" this happens to me so much Gwen my babygirl you are So Autistic.
I saw someone say that Gwen needs to be dommed. I cannot say I disagree, especially when Lena tells her to sit down. Anyway we're gonna move away from that thought.
I am not joking. I paused a total of 17 times throughout this episode because I started laughing too hard. I think I have a new favorite episode.
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thinkin about eugene when I should be sleeping he's justso special to me. cryibg
#insomnia kicking my ass so fucking bad right now /gen#but idk gives me time to think about my guy#hes my biggest comfort character ever#i am holding my plush of him and giving him a kiss on the head#ik im focused on other f/os rn but eugene is my number one babygirl my ride or die my cinnamon apple#genuinely he is so important to me he has helped me thru a lot of stuff ik its silly#i love him sm thats all okay 😭😭#if anyone actually reads these tags hi#i just need to talk about him or i will actually die#rambling#r: eugene🐨
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so on a scale of aang (killing is always wrong) to katara (killing is a statement) to sokka (killing is a tool), where would the rest of the gaang + ozais angels go?
toph is hard to pin down because she’s the only character who ever actually kills people outside of the context of war. and i don’t know if she even realizes what she did, because she’s 12 and the adrenaline rush of discovering that you can actually metalbend probably supersedes any logical reasoning in that moment, but like, she did just leave two guys to die a gruesome death in a metal box. so i do think it’s more nuanced that simply saying, “to toph, killing is fun and flirty,” but like, there is a not insignificant part of her that will gladly kill as a means of asserting her power over others and individual autonomy, and has no compunctions about killing those who threaten her autonomy specifically, as it is such an acute point of trauma for her. but also, she’s twelve so like, she’ll probably develop a more nuanced approach to that quandary as she ages.
zuko’s stance on killing is mostly that he’s happy to outsource that violence and then take credit for it as long as he personally doesn’t have to get his hands dirty. like he’ll hire an assassin but won’t bring himself to admit that “end them” means “kill them,” or he’ll threaten to kill zhao and then try to save his life at the last minute. he wants aang to kill his dad but would never actually kill ozai himself, just as he wants katara to kill yon rha, but would never actually kill ozai himself. and i’m sure zuko thinks this is all because he’s a coward who simply lacks the capacity to be ruthless and effective (like sokka), but actually it’s symptomatic of zuko’s greatest quality, which is his inherent sensitivity, his queasy stomach for violence, his predisposition for gentleness, the fact that he actually struggles to deny his own inclinations and simply submit himself to a logic of brutal death and destruction. he thinks it makes him weak, but the fact that he actually has a desire to do the right thing and be a good person despite it all is truly his greatest strength.
azula is always operating from a place of survival because it was impressed to her from a very young age that she exists in a world that is unforgivingly cruel, and it is kill or be killed. she does not want to die (which is quite possibly one of her greatest points of deviation from sokka, but i digress) so she wholeheartedly submits herself to this logic, and unlike zuko, who struggles to erode his own humanity even under the threat of violence, azula is very good at becoming something “monstrous” (her words) out of fear, can contort herself into any shape necessary as long as the threat is tangible enough. so obviously azula approaches killing in the same way sokka does, no surprise there. murder is a tool to achieve her ends, to ensure her own safety and survival. it is simply a mechanism of war. but unlike sokka’s view of it, she also believes that the strong kill the weak because the weak deserve to die, and that logic she inherited from ozai.
we never see suki actively kill anyone, but she does threaten to feed sokka to the unagi, so like, even if she is (probably) joking, i don’t think suki is flat out against killing. i think she’ll kill if she absolutely has to, but would also prefer not to because she clearly values and holds a deep appreciation for life. but also, whenever there is a gap in our textual understanding of suki, i usually just fill it in by being like wwkd (what would kyoshi do), so maybe that’s why i just said. who knows
mai always makes an effort to never actually stab people with her blades, but rather pin them in place. that said, whether this is because a Y-7 cartoon simply isn’t allowed to depict blood or if it’s because mai is genuinely that attuned to not seriously hurting the people she throws knives at, i’m not entirely sure. i like to think that mai doesn’t actually want to hurt people, because like zuko, she is naturally inclined towards sensitivity and gentleness, but i think there’s also a part of her that would lock people in a metal box if she could. i think the best way to summarize mai is thus, excitement is valuable (including the heat of battle), but killing is unpleasant.
ty lee has actively refined a technique that makes her extremely dangerous without ever actually having to cause long-lasting damage to someone physically (psychologically is another story). yet another W for ty lee air nomad heritage theory, but i digress. ty lee is smart enough that she never actually has to be personally responsible and culpable for killing anyone ever, but she is also submitting to and enabling the violence of an empire for the sake of her own survival, so it’s not like she’s not complicit either. so to ty lee, killing is also a tool, but one she personally doesn’t need to employ, which is a comfort to her.
iroh (technically you didn’t ask about him but he’s fascinating so i can’t just leave him out) used to view killing as a tool, and now views it as an inviolable taboo because it took him like over 50 years to recognize the inherent value of human life and the grief of losing a loved one. so it’s not that he grew up in a “kill or be killed world” that fostered his need to kill to ensure his survival, but simply that he grew up in paradigm that dictated that “killing is the path to attaining glory” and he was good at killing, and thus glorious. but then he experienced the consequences of that worldview firsthand, and had to completely recalibrate his own logic of conquest and domination. and so now he’s still capable of violence in equal measure, but is less willing to exercise it for purely shallow, destructive reasons. yay..??
jet actually does think that killing is fun and flirty. anyone who disagrees with him deserves to die because he is simply right about everything. sokka? closet fire nation sympathizer, obviously. guy he met on a boat who said “hey im not really interested in joining your child militia”? well he’s probably the prince of the fucking fire nation (okay he was right about that one but he had no way of knowing it so). he watched the rough rhinos burn down his house and murder his family with a smile on their faces, and a part of him that day calcified and decided that the only way to truly reclaim his power was to beat them at his own game. so he does everything in his power to control the people he can, to control his narrative, to refine his logic in a way that makes him the uncontested hero no matter what. but in truth, it’s quite simple: he wants power because he has none.
haru exists somewhere between “killing is a statement” and “killing is a tool.” killing is a tool because it functions as a statement. killing is a statement because it functions as a tool. violent resistance is necessary by any means necessary, but you know, in a nice way. he’s basically just the model of the “good” colonized subject who fights for collective liberation instead of personal empowerment, so it makes sense that he’s introduced before jet as like the emblem of what katara should do (how she should fight, what she would fight for) versus what she shouldn’t. which is like, perhaps a simplistic reduction of “good” vs “bad” methods of resistance into “our noble collective action” vs “their senseless terrorism,” but like. lol. what can you do
#turtles-alltheway-down#asks#analysis#toph#zuko#azula#suki#mai#ty lee#iroh#jet#haru#put the main three who matter here above and then the rest below the cut#sometimes i forget that zuko is a good character bc yall are so annoying about him…. but then i remember#i also need to talk about more at length about how azula rationalizes that the weak deserve to die thru ozai for MULTIPLE interconnected#reasons that I didn’t have time to get into here#and also just azula’s relationship to ozai in general#but im putting off actually writing that bc it is. genuinely devastating and i don’t wanna#anyway!!
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BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger.
this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think.
image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary
"Oh shit… I think hes dead…"
It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.
Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.
One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.
Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.
The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.
Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?
A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.
But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.
As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.
The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.
Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.
"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.
"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.
But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence.
"Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.
"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold."
Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.
"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."
Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.
"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?
Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...
"Hey, are you okay?"
The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.
"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.
But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?
The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt.
"Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.
The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.
"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"
"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.
The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.
It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.
Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.
Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right?
"U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"
Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.
"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"
"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.
"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.
"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."
"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.
While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.
"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.
The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.
The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.
A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat.
It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.
That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.
The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.
Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.
It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.
It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.
Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?
The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.
"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.
Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.
Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog..
Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life.
It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up.
Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.
He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog?
As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.
Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda.
After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.
A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath.
"O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in.
Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.
It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight.
But he wasn't scared.
The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.
Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.
Like a mouse to a snake.
This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.
The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?
Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden.
Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.
His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.
A STARTLING RINGING;
Splits the moment,
Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,
As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.
Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.
"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"
Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.
Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.
"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"
Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.
"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.
Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .
As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.
The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.
"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.
"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."
The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.
"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."
"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again.
He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does.
"Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly-
-He's gone!
If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body.
Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of.
Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few,
soothing moments of just,
decompression.
The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed.
Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out.
The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon.
There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable.
Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away...
He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him.
With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.
He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.
#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT.#i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED#I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED..#ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT.#i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it.#and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!#JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!!#GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh#THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON#but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl#ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway#yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him#what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes.#but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way.#but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B#okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or#misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect#LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment.#TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!
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I’ve been thinking about the portrayal of SA and misogyny within fallout new vegas, from the Fiends and Caesar’s Legion specifically
I think new vegas does a pretty good job at portraying oppression and abuse without seeming... for lack of a better term masturbatory. It’s by no means perfect obviously but i think its a solid attempt. The(living) victims of rape that we see within New Vegas( Pretty Sarah, Corporal Besty, and Siri) all have stories that i found pretty moving, relatable and truly heart wrenching.
I think Betsy and Siri are the two that really stick out to me the most( sarah i struggled with getting involved in that quest line as it was too triggering ). Betsy is the definition of a “messy” victim. What Cook-Cook did to her left lasting scars, ones she refuses to acknowledge. And she’s angry she’s angry and she’s hypersexual and she’s lashing out at everyone in her life about it. She doesn’t want to be seen as weak and she doesn’t want to be a burden( i think her being a lesbian and very proud of that further bothers her as well, the fact a man was able to assault her weighs on her). Though her actions(especially her more pervy behaviour) aren’t excused by the narrative it’s very clearly a side affect of the severe trauma she experienced. I think it would have been really easy to have turned the Cook-Cook bounty/quest into a rape revenge story and I’m glad they didn’t. Sure she gives you some cash if you kill the bastard but the main way to help Betsy isnt (rightfully) killing her rapist but to help her get the help she needs, convincing her that her fellow soldiers care about her. It’s not common for more “messy” victims to be portrayed in media and personally Besty means a lot to me for that.
Now contrast her with Siri, who is the complete opposite and equally strong because of it. Siri is a slave for Caesar’s Legion and given that she’s also a woman its not hard to guess what that entails. There’s been moments in video games where I’ve cried or felt disgusted and scared but when Siri warns a female legion courier about what legion men do and what they’ve been saying about her it makes me so... I dont even know how to put it into words(as my feelings on this topic are much harder to pin down and articulate compared to betsy). Even if you’re aiding the very men who are doing the awful things to her and the other women she doesn’t want you to experience what she’s gone through. She’ll warn the courier of what the legioners say about her of what they want to do and it’s just... god. I realize this isnt very well put together but its hard to know what to say about Siri other than she fucks me up.
I realize there isn’t much of a thesis to this post but if there was it would be that I feel very seen by these women, and their stories and experiences manage to affect and move me greatly, while not being profoundly irritating and disgusting like so many other rape stories(especially written by male authors) are.
#i still dont think the fiends as a group are written that well#but yk#rape mention#tw sa#this is a bit rambly i havent had the heart to actually structure and make an essay in a good while#also yeah cook cook TOTALLY needs to die and I kill him every play through#just saying im glad his death wasnt ALL betsys story was about#this is probably fully of spelling mistakes but#this is a bit more personal and just me talking about my feelings so IDC i might even delete this later#slavery#should tag that too#maybe this just says something about how bottom of the barrel it is when it comes to SA stories#Fallout New Vegas#FNV#corporal betsy
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Y'know this little throwaway gag is so bizarre to me and I know this game is a bit very different to 2 and 3 but look at Matt's reaction when Jack raids the place in 3:
You'd argue he's simply stopping Jack bc he hates this guy and he also hates this job which Could Be True but i highly doubt bc overall despite his virginity and overall cursed vibe, Matt seems to be a good employee, by all means (I mean, Peter literally gave him a vacation instead of firing him in 2, so that says a lot).
Plus, Dave hates this guy as much as he hates him! He literally always calls him creepy and, AND!
This is the only footage you get of the prize corner in 2. Which is also the first game to show Matt and Dave's disdain for one another, Dave being likely more scared of Matt than Matt will ever be of him.
Which is all very curious. 2 does set a drastic change for Matt too with him going from being just strange to outright creepy, so was the old pizza place closing something that actually affected him or was he consistently that creepy all along? And if the later, did he just start hating Dave after that or did they always have beef and they simply had some sort of arrangement (or even higher word from Steven who tended to let Dave do whatever he wanted in general) that let him do so?
#luly talks#dsaf#matt virginia#matthew virginia#<- using both tags bc i didnt realize some call him matthew. ya se los dije el es matias para mi...#dsaf matt#dsaf dave#dave miller#anyway yeah i kinda went from just writing this as a haha silly thing i noticed to wait this is actually kind of bizarre to not mean anythi#cant tell which theory works best imo like the idea of matt being genuinely upset at the old place being destroyed is kinda cool#but also steven just being like a neglectful parent and using his manager power to let dave steal is So fucking funny to me#i will make a post about dave and steven later my sugar is low rn i need food before i die#but they're soooo silly too#also did you guys know i never realized 1 and 2 were just a few months apart from each other? this is because im a very stupid man#you might see me all analytical and shit and go woah luly is so smart i cant read. i cant hold information to save my life either#im an utter and complete dumbass#amen.#also another fun fact both these screenshots were taken from my evil routes which was a coincidence really#well except for 1 that is a non route#but those other two those are matpat baby#also yeah couldnt be bothered to get screenshots for dave and matt's argument KNJHJNGM JN
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