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imaginethathaikyuu · 10 months

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I’m ace. I’m very kinky. I’m a man. But I get uncomfy (I think because I’m ace) with physical affection in general. I’m not a great hugger. And even like… a peck on the cheek makes me feel anxious and viscerally uncomfortable. Because I have no desire to kiss or anything it always feels super insincere and makes me uncomfortable.

My partner is the most wonder girl alive. Truly. She’s perfect, no exceptions. She’s not ace and is extremely physically affectionate. And I’ve voiced my discomfort and so she’s stopped imitating the things I’ve said make me uncomfortable. But I can tell she wants it. She wants a boyfriend who kisses her wants to have sex and is attracted to her. And she says she’s fine, but I want her to be happy.

I don’t know how to compromise my needs and hers in a way where I’m not anxious all the time and she’s not disappointed.

To be clear this is mostly about the kissing. She is totally fine with a sexless relationship. And she’s also kinky so we’re both fulfilled in those ways. But small acts of affection… she loves giving and receiving them. And it sucks for both of us a bit.

Any thoughts/suggestions? From one ace to another? (I’m 22 and she’s 21)

oh my god dude this is like one of the hardest things about being ace like. i literally feel your stress over this like ive dealt with this. its painful. its so frustrating.

i think obviously its important to communicate everything youre feeling to her and let her know that you feel this way. tell her the thoughts you have. just be open with it, and that will (hopefully) encourage her to be open and honest with you too

also. i know exactly what you mean when you say that you can tell she wants certain things from you that you can't give her - however, i think its important for you and your relationship that you believe her when she says she's okay without those things. you gotta just try your best not to doubt her. because all that doubt spirals into insecurity and insecurity is not good for you, or her, or your relationship! if she says that its okay, then you gotta try to believe her and talk about it if you feel like you need to

open up, be honest. let her be honest too. trust her when she says she's okay, and offer understanding when she says she isn't okay. let yourself trust her.

you can offer her affection in a million other ways besides kissing or hugging her. and test your own waters; instead of a kiss on the cheek, is one on the hand more comfortable? if she asked if she could kiss you beforehand, would that help alleviate some of your anxiety? can you two just invent your own ways to show affection? can a hand shake count as pda? (yes.)

feeling this way is hard. it sucks. but i bet theres probably a ton of things you do for her, things you might not even notice, that she loves and treasures just as much as something physical. and maybe you putting more effort into those things will help you feel better on the doubting front. think of all the little things she does that you love and realize that she has the same thoughts about you, too

and youre good enough for her. youre a good boyfriend. dont get too lost in the sauce alright i'm rooting for you you got this

#its hard out here for us ace folk.#us ace folk gotta stick together #i literally hate every feeling u described btw like oh my god its so stressful lmao #just dont force yourself to do anything u dont want to. thats the worst #theres no reason to do that #be comfortable first and foremost #im sorry that my advice boiled down to Communicate More #but like thats not bad advice to be fair #communication is the key to the door of love. right #i just made that up idk #just do what allosexual people THINK ace people do and create a schedule where you give your partner ONE kiss every...2 months #babe its 2 pm on a monday come get your singular kiss! dont be late or else youll have to wait til next week!#i wonder if anyone has ever done that. and if it worked.

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crows-home · 11 months

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part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.

ID by @peachygos

[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.

The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"

The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]

#nimona #nimona movie #my art #i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands #idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then #'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.'#im not an outwardly emotional person

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ronanlynchbf · 10 months

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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt #the haunting of hill house #ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the #next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for #you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨

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birdmenmanga · 4 months

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I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts...#disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!!#people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :((('#well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic...#'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve'#okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing?#a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine...#you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick.#how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

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ruporas · 9 months

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