#i just feel like we talk about transmasc Normal a lot and i think thats beautiful and delightful
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oakworhy are sooooooo t4t trans guys to me im sorry but i cannot stay silent any longer. just think about it. Normal finding out Hermie wears his binder onstage & during musical numbers and being SHOCKED and UPSET and shows him the wonderful world of trans tape. Hermie as a little kid getting obsessed with and "method acting" as fictional boys to the point where he was insisting on getting he/himmed, and then finding a fictional girl he wanted to act as and but realizing that he still wanted to be a boy. Normal getting really into the idea of being a cheerleader and being absolutely thrilled to realize that boys are allowed to be cheerleaders too. transfem Sparrow having long talks about gender with her son and helping him come into his own, even if she's worried that he'll be made fun of for it. that one @apricior fic where Hermie helps Normal with his t shot. do you see my vision
#local transmasc theater guy simply thinking about the overabundance of girls in HS theater#and the fact that this provides opportunities for trans guys even if we aren't necessarily out#just thinking about Hermie getting frustrated over wanting to be Poison Ivy sexy but Not in a girl way#he wants to be Poison Ivy sexy in a Guy way and wear a dress in a Guy way#using his shapeshifting to give himself gender affirming care#i just feel like we talk about transmasc Normal a lot and i think thats beautiful and delightful#and that Hermie should also get hit with the trans man genderification beam#as a treat#oakworthy#hermie the unworthy#normal oak#dndads#dndads s2#dungeons and daddies
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have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?
i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her
as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how
tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut
when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time
literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on
at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later
later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did
the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me
at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy
it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me
eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.
eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021
we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was
right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something
we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after
i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times
being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people
now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people
thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022
#shoutout to my girlfriend for putting up with whats left of me#even though she says its not something she 'puts up with' because she loves me#trans#t4t#transhet#transmasc#t4t mlw#st4t#trans man#transgender#also had someone who said i was 'missing the point' of being t4t one time#like earlier this year#took all i had to not be like#'nope. i got it'
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A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated
(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)
(Cis/Hets don't touch this post
Terfs especially don't even look at this post
Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history
If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post
Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post
Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3
Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)
So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time
But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies
Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today
But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in
I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me
Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general
Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!
Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be
Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men
Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears
I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in
I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)
I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history
But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations
I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations
But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot
All of these things are me
You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/
There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit
#queer#lgbtqia#queer activism#transgender#trans activism#slur reclamation#queer history#gay history#lgbt history#mogai identity#gay cub#queer pride#gay pride#multisexual#mlm#t4t#long post#queer punk
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it’s obviously important for ppl to criticize misogyny particularly transmisogyny in trans male communities since thats a trans community issue but if ur also tme and the only thing u ever exclusively talk about trans men for is talking abt us as bigoted misogynists (usually there’s a ‘binary’ slapped in front of it) i genuinely think you need to put the phone down go outside and remember that whatever insane misogynist guys online are saying is not a necessarily a reflection of like things adult men outside of a weird fringe group of freak transmisogynist dudes on tumblr who think the boys should get our own word JUST like the GIRLS or its NOT FAIR!! or whatever (and one coined by a fucking terf at that..) are saying, or justification for behaving weirdly about an entire diverse community of trans people.
again i do not say this to like dissuade ppl from discussing legitimate problems but like a couple points- 'binary' trans men r capable of talking about it ourselves, and we do, and we’re not the ones whose posts get shared about it. and second: if you’re only bringing us up to talk abt how shitty particularly TRANS men are you might have a problem you need to deal with? this is not a shocking statement. like at some point someone has to point it out to you and sit there and take the shit and patiently explain to you it’s that the problem comes when its literally the ONLY thing you bring us up for and act like we're not capable of talking abt this ourselves, and that its a problem how comfortable ppl r for letting ppl speak over/for us if the only similarity they share w trans men is.. an agab and not being cis (yikes!). or if theyre transmasc and male aligned in some capacity but dont have any interest in engaging with or considering themselves a part of like trans men, THEYRE the ones who need to talk abt it, bcuz the (usually 'binary') Trans Men wont (not saying those ppl cant or shouldnt but they may be treated differently for doing so)
first ppl liked using transmeds existing to throw up justification for treating us like a bigoted monolith you (uniquely) Just Dont Feel Safe Around and its normal to make assumptions abt us being transphobic especially if we don't identify by labels deemed 'safe' and Inherently More Radical, and now its pretending we all collectively cant recognize our privilege thru our intense blinding hatred of women and its up to you to save us from ourselves and beat some common sense into the inherently bigoted stupid about gender patriarchy dicksucker boys. like i dont know im tired of it when trans men being accused of only existing bcuz we want to be patriarchy bootlickers i guess is always what radfems have thrown at us, so its not like this negative perception of trans men filtered thru a supposedly progressive lense is new. a lot of adult trans men dont talk abt like particular hot shit thats discussed a lot on here rn (the 'trans misandry' shit for example) bcuz its was not a problem in the spaces we're in and we knew it was stupid as fuck right away and barely worth talking about to say 'yeah you know that thing we all know is stupid and bullshit? its stupid and bullshit'. bcuz we're not fifteen years old or weird misogynists. we have brains, don't hate women, and we dont all know and hang around the same people.
anyway dont take this post as a stand in for serious discussion and calling out misogyny (again especially transmisogyny) w other men, those posts do need to exist, i am not trying to say this stuff shouldnt be talked about. what i'm specifically pointing out is a frustrating pattern in the perception of and discussion of trans men that ppl probably dont realize theyre participating in. i do think it is very important to talk abt community issues and criticisms but if its literally the one thing you bring up trans men for i think being aware of that behavior has no NEGATIVES here. also do have to bring up i specified other tme ppl early on bcuz this isnt smth ive experienced or seen from transfems and their position as like the affected party of transmisogyny is automatically like .. if they have issues w trans men it is pretty inherently coming from a different place than like, a cis womans, or a tme nonbinary person, or a transmasc person with issues with trans men, or a cis mans, etc. tme ppl who are on a very different ground here, whose behavior is straight up different anyway
#this isnt @ anyone this is like . a common thing rn#its a seperate post but i think ppls just total unawareness that trans men have made any contributions to like#academic discussion abt transphobia along with trans women (sometimes literally discussing our experiences together!) is kind of bizarr#u know online discourser misogyny boys r not reflective of the actual adult intersectional (cant remember if thats the right word its 2 am#lol) discussion of our experiences that MUST be done in order to have like any solid understanding of how to fix this shit#you cant just ignore the experiences of trans men and think ur understanding of gender is good lol#there r many ppl who r invested in talking abt it in a way thats like normal and mature#and it DEPENDS on trans womens experiences and pov too to make a more fully realized understanding of trans ppls lived experiences#and how we can fix cisnormativity and sexism and shit without pretending like disappearing gender is gonna do anything#except be boring as fuck and not realistic. what if we all lived in someone elses fantasy utopia that is not a utopia for a lot of transppl#and believing online discourse misogyny boys when they tell you no one else cares abt trans men but THEM >:( is like. dumb as fuck#there have been ppl discussing their experiences in an actually nuanced and Gives A Shit way for decades. academically. go find it
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Okay i've tried like 20 times to word this in a way that'll go as gently as possible but I dont think im gonna be 100% successful bc autism, so im just gonna post this and hope yall dont take it in bad faith:
Theres a lot of younger queers (especially AFAB ones) who still hold TERF ideology and the main reason I see them failing to let it go is because they cant embrace sex positivity.
Which like. I kinda get. I mean if I was AFAB and I grew up with creepy toxic masculine dudes constantly sexualizing me while i was still a child, and the pressures of family to reproduce, and all that shit that comes with being AFAB, i'd probably be scared as shit of sex. Heck I'm a *little* scared of it myself since I was sexually assaulted twice before I was 18! But I feel like thats something to fight against, because like...sex is healthy! Sex is good! Sex is the cause of literally all of our lives!!!!
And I'm not saying you have to have sex or anything, god no, I'm on the ace spectrum. I'm saying you have to be normal about sex, because sex is a part of life! Its ESPECIALLY a part of the queer community! And as much as it should be more welcoming to ace people, I also think demanding it be entirely chaste in order to welcome ace people is stupid and selfish and unhealthy.
"So whats this have to do with TERF ideology though?" Well, reader, I'm glad you asked, because "sex is scary" is the first step in the TERF ideology road! It usually goes "sex is scary" -> "men are scary" -> "anything with a penis is scary". And basically every queer person, at least on the surface, is against this. But under the surface, I find it all falls apart, especially amongst AFAB people. AMAB queers are expected to perform femininity to fit in, and almost always if it is the sort of space where femininity is scrutinized, it is expected that the feminine must also be chaste. I feel like thats no accident. It feels like any mention of sexuality from an AMAB person has them thinking about how we have a penis, such a lewd horrible thing, and then its like...instantly we become less womanly to them. They've let their fear tie femininity to a lack of sexuality, which is a TERF idea!
This also is what leads to more censorship of transfem people. As the recent bannings of transfem people on this site continue, I see a lot of posts saying stuff like "You wouldnt have this problem if youd just stop posting sexual content", even being reblogged by supposed allies.
And you might be thinking "well I'm AFAB but I'm trans, so, this doesnt apply to me. Theyre talking about actual TERFs!" And no, you're wrong. I see transmasc people who pull this shit ALL THE TIME. I recently had a transmasc friend cringe and tell me that the fact that I liked Asumi-chan Is Interested In Lesbian Brothels was a red flag because it was "clearly for the male gaze" which is absolutely TERF behavior. I also see a lot of transmasc people being dismissive of transfem fears in the current trans political situation. Its seemingly almost always a specific brand of UwU cottagecore transmasc that does it too, and a few of them I've even caught admitting they "used to be a TERF" which, I'm glad you no longer associate with them, but I'm telling you you still have shit to unlearn. Dont tell me this is out of my lane, either, its no different from if someone pointed out I still had toxic masculinity to unlearn! Which has happened, and I've examined mine. Why do you find it so unreasonable to examine yours?
Anyways thats all for now. Please do better. I shouldnt have to deal with this shit while the government is trying to kill me.
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anon from yesterday, my favorite part was Legend's gender euphoria moment in Gerudo Town. I'm transmasc, and it just hit so hard knowing exactly what that moment felt like.
And it surprised me since I'd normally pick something with my hopeless-romantic brain like the part where Link wakes up in Legend and Ravio's bed, but it just. It really hit home.
I love the romance, the deep emotional connections, the acknowldgement of trauma and good/bad coping mechanisms, but the thing I find myself raving to my partner/friends about more is just how inclusive the whole thing is and how strongly that hit me right in the heart.
YESSSS that's exactly what the trans shit is for!!! Fuck yes!!!!! I'm so glad that hit right, I really try to pour my all into Legend's euphoria moments. The romance is all well and good, you're right, but I also think that the pure joy that euphoria brings is hard to match.
Just!!!!!! Ahxgxgxgshxgsjjwjdhxjsxbxgshb it makes us so happy that this fic has touched you enough that you'd talk to other people about it!!!! Like oh my gosh that is one of the highest compliments writers can receive. This fic didn't start out with All The Inclusivity in mind, it just kind of developed that way with the stories we like to tell. Really, this was supposed to be about how Legend and Warriors' relationship got its start, and it just.... got out of hand lmao hxvxbsbsns
Thank you sososososso much forreal, to hear how much you liked feels better than belief!!!
-Kio
ASAU was meant originally to be an outlet, and to be something that allowed for exploring things with the characters that mean so much to us. This is us being as genuine as we can be (while being self indulgent with our blorbos) and learning things along the way! I was INCREDIBLY clueless about a lot of the gender and orientation concepts presented as Asau flows onward at the beginning, but I wanted Kio to feel comfortable writing what makes them happy with me. So, I encouraged them to be self indulgent with Legend to start, “go ham, and I’ll listen when you explain things”. Thats what framed the mindset Warriors has, and as time has gone on, he and I have learned a lot! We’re better for it! And that that creates a space where our readers and online friends feel seen and safe is incredible to us. Im so glad you’re enjoying what we do here, it really does warm the heart. I hope you continue to enjoy!
-Mizu
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i was talking about this with a friend but like its crazy to me that the 1975 doesnt have a massive transmasc following in the same way that other tumblr bands that are a bit edgy do like fall out boy or twenty-one pilots because of the "im gonna listen to this band because im not like other girls but that's actually because im not a girl" despite having a massive audience of young girls. and theres also not a massive gay guy following like obviously theyre there but it seems crazy that its not bigger and that the 1975 is mainly cis women and then a growing group of insufferable incel men that suck - 🐸
that's a really good point actually and I wonder why? i wanna say that its because the band members are white cis het men but so are Fall Out Boy (I think? if im wrong, i apologize!). Is it Matty's lyrics and general personality that feel exclusionary to most people? cuz like I could see how maybe if you're a non-fan encountering a random clip of Matty discussing the band or whatever, he might come off as abrasive? and perhaps us straight women have been conditioned to be okay with that in a way that masculine identifying folks stray away from or find useless? We should run a thought experiment and show different demographics a set a different 75 clips. Like one where Matty is interacting with fans and being sweet and kind, and one where he's shitting on the chainsmokers or something, and one where he just kinda normal answering standard questions and see how different people respond? hahaha. it'd be a fascinating sociological case study.
The incel thing really bothers me though. cuz another fandom im a part of is for this other sort of indie folk rock artist, Father John Misty, and he's kinda like Matty if Matty was pessimistic. So, he uses irony A LOT but i feel like there are some sexist men out there who don't get that he's being ironic and critical of his own gender, and think he's serious and get excited when he says gross shit, and thats why I will never see him live. I'm terrified of being in a crowd of mostly straight men, some of whom are very sexist and like actually hate women. So....i guess im glad that's not the case with the 1975. ha! just occurred to me that it might also be because they started young. and they have that dreamy boy-bandy thing about them. or at least they did when they were younger even though they are definitely not a boyband. and thats usually a "girly" thing. idkkkk
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just finished fallout the show but holy shittt dude i havent watched a show this good in a whiiile. part of it could probably be contributed to the excellent video games and the worldbuilding already laid out for it but holy shit holy shit.
SPOILERS
i was convinced i didnt like maximus but no i was just falling for cleverly set up twists and some things were predictable yes but sometimes theyd just do something that felt SO right. and the characterization?? excellent. the tone? incredible and unique.
normally with these split POV shows i get bored of a POV but that didnt really happen. and normally i get frustrated with the political aspects (not because i think its 'too political' or whatever just because i have that good ol fashion autistic strong sense of justice and i want to punch characters) but there was enough nuance and characters that i could relate to on a moral level that i didnt feel as frustrated.
its really interesting because in my polysci 101 class we just learned about the Federalist papers and one of Madison's talks about interest groups in politics (lobbyist groups essentially) and saying that yes groups like these can be detrimental to political liberty but restricting the freedom of all groups would lead to a worse detriment to personal liberty and free speech.
Hank's (fuck u hank) whole deal was getting rid of factions but his ideas were flawed because he created a greater detriment to health and liberty than factions do, he created another faction (dumb bitch)
gore is not really my thing and ill admit this was a hard watch for me (close to Invincible levels imo and i cannot bring myself to watch Invincible again) but it was manageable and felt like it matched the tone
and the tone, ive never seen anything like it, i mean i havent watched like every show in existence but it feels really unique. my favorite aspec t of a lot of sci fi is what i call "confident ridiculousness" which yes can be grating and land badly sometimes but this felt like seasoning on a dish, just enough and not too much. They managed to keep serious and emotional moments while still having those moments where you can feel the comedic exasperation.
and the charactersssss, like i said i usually get bored of a POV but all of these characters were different and interesting.
Maximus most of all because i fell for the idea of him hurting Dane. I always kept that bit of doubt in my mind but as things progressed and Maximus did more desperate things i thought i would hate him by the seasons end. but no, looking back with the knowledge that he didnt hurt Dane everything he did really just seemed like instinct and self preservation not malicious intent. sure you can say he did bad things and hurt people but thats the point of the show. i like him maybe the most out of all the MCs but its a hard choice.
Lucy was great too! as a transmasc guy i sometimes feel dysphoric for relating to a femme character (my bad sorry im fighting my internalized misogyny) but she was so relatable and amazing. sometimes Lucy's (brown haired skinny white woman PC) can be generic and flavorless in terms of character traits but I liked her almost instantly. She is so smart. a lot of characters that start out naive stay very naive and thats seen as like, a strength of character but I personally love that she does change and is still mostly able to defend her values. She makes mistakes due to that naivety but to me at least, remains relatable and smart when she learns from those. she feels like a full character, which you dont see very often in the archetype thats supposed to be your self insert.
And the Ghoul, intensely complicated and interesting. I flipped back and forth so many times on whether i liked or hated him. Again i know thats the point but still! i will admit im a sucker for his type of character but the show still had me gritting my teeth over his actions. he is not a good person, of course, but seeing him grapple with what he used to be is so cool and i really liked his story.
im running out of descriptions but im really impressed with the writing and the acting. the main three actors were all perfect and im hoping for a season two.
i could talk more but again, running out of words lmao.
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DON'T RB🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️like i hate the gender trinary thing too but honestly I feel like a lot of the time it arises from misguided attempts to talk about misogyny like all that men and non men stuff which drives me up the wall its like I dont think ppl r just dividing into two in groups just for fun they r trying to inclusively discuss misogyny as something which has victims and perpetrators
and i literally haven't seen any meaningful alternatives proposed for how to talk about misogyny as a structural issue like i feel like misogyny isn't a cool issue on here n people only like to view oppression very individualistically bc of the way we've moralised it so there's this weird movement to imply that basically every person whos marginalised in relation to gender/sexuality experiences misogyny which then makes it a useless framework compared to homo/transphobia
and why r we incapable of getting our heads around the fact tht marginalised men are still capable of misogyny? like... cis gay men also face really serious oppression and some of it even plays out very similarly to misogyny.. however they ARE perpetrators in this specific framework and bc of their lack of structural power its normally the women of their in-group (ie bi, lesbian, and trans women) who bear the brunt of it -_- and gbt men of all stripes have a tendency to assume they aren't perpetrators of one kind of oppression bc they face another and um. that is just not how it works why do we have to learn this anew for every type of marginalised man...
so that said when people say goofy shit like "non men" what they're trying to say is this is a space for people who are victims of misogyny who would benefit from a space/event etc where the perpetrators of that oppression arent present, even those who aren't comfortable being referred to as women.
i dont like the implication that everyone who isnt a binary man is immune to misogyny nor do I like the idea of drawing a line in the sand about exactly who can and can't claim to face misogyny cos those lines always exclude someone but like I've yet to see anyone even attempt to respond to this predicament
alsoi think in an ideal world everyone would just be pragmatic about their own experiences and honestly recognise what part they play in that framework but since we got like binary transmascs convinced they are the primary targets of misogyny on here I think we gotta get real abt encouraging people to interrogate that and also people need to learn about the structural mechanisms of and REASONS FOR misogyny bc honestly some of you guys are like "misogyny when someone is mean to you because they THINK you have a vagina" & thats like. not as far from radfem ideology as u think it is !
sorry for the long ramble thank u to anyone who read thru it and i would really appreciate anyone who has any thoughts abt this esp nb baes v_v im asking questions rather than answering them here & like i firmly agree that the determination to neatly divide everyone into 2 categories but i dont think we can just opt out of even attempting to address intracommunity misogyny this way
if you rb you will die in 10 days 😐😐😐😐😐😐
#like i think ppl r (mostly) a lot better at being like. ur sexuality is kind of an individual experience#as long as ur not misgendering or fetishising ppl and all parties r happy we won't like police the line of who counts as what#like my only issue is when ppl rationalise being a lesbian in a way that implies they're entitled to a lesbian identity specifically bc#they're afab I.e the transmisandry crowd who just think lesbian as an identity includes like. all trans men.#bc that stuff isn't structural so ppl aren't seeing that need to fit individuals into a structural complex#but when the transandrophobia ppl stalked and harassed a trans woman for weeks bc of a throwaway comment abt how trans men can b transmiso#gynistic too. or defended a man who fantasises abt r@ping lesbians and trans women....#like what is that except structural misogyny!!!!#like no that guy probably doesn't have much power over the avg cishet woman but his attitude. which is towards ALL women#caused major harm to lesbians n trans women.... like ugh u guys r so stupid die#n a lot of mainstream cis gay culture kind of assumes its immune to misogyny and its not
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ik this is from before but ive been thinking about the trans man butch post and idk... i don't like the idea of including attraction to trans men in lesbianism and when i was reading it i was like well good for the author but im not...attracted to trans men...and thats not part of being lesbian. like idk when this was written and if its older I get how diff norms could have impacted her understanding but yea...and also the line talking abt how the lover wants her like a man bc his thinking changed after starting T stuck out to me as weird too. and i mean maybe the modern understanding of sex hormones is just a lot diff so i wont go on about how thats not how T works but i feel like lesbians are usually very off put by someone "wanting us as a man"? food for thought ig
the thing is though, that it genuinely does not matter whether u think that person's experience is valid. ur allowed to judge that person and disagree, and u would be probably be aligned with a lot of other lgbt ppl around them. and it's ok if u disagree with me! this is the internet not an in-person and long standing lesbian social community, u r not accountable to me beyond basic human decency. i personally don't see a problem with it because people have all kinds of journeys with their identity and within lgbt social circles and butch and femme are relational social roles within a specific social and political context and the issue of transitioning while being butch is much bigger and much more difficult than we know and the author expressed that struggle beautifully.
i am absolutely not saying that because i don't see a problem in that story i'm allowing attraction to trans men to be a part of the definition of lesbianism. there's a difference between what actual people historically experienced and what is a correct on-paper definition of sexualities and lgbt social roles. i agree that i am not attracted to trans men and attraction to trans men should not be considered a part of the definition of what a lesbian is. there are actually trans men on this website that call themselves butch and make weird posts about gay men and lesbians having sex being normal. and it's gross, really really gross. another example of this would be bi femmes. on the internet i'm gonna be uncomfortable when a lot of bi women with no affiliation to or knowledge of lesbian bar culture and no love for butches call themselves femme but historically, bi women were an important part of butch femme bar culture and gave up a lot and gained a lot from taking on the responsibility of that social role, which continual rejection of men and wanting butches instead is a part of.
queerness is by definition outside of words, everything we do is resistance to language and outside of language and breaks apart language. the danger in these kinds of stories is when people use them as proof for ideas that are trying to disrupt our social formations and community structures and make our words meaningless, make the word lesbian no longer mean what it does. but the story doesn't do that, there's a reverence for lesbianism and the butch femme community that the narrator is terrified of losing the subversive power gained by becoming a part of that community and social structure. and about that section the narrator was put off by that too, terrified in fact.
finally, note that the passage never did firmly establish whether the narrator's partner considers himself a trans man completely. he could be a nonbinary transmasc lesbian like me that went through medical transition. he could be a trans man that still considers himself butch and that would be none of my business, he has def already been taken to task about it by his own community based on their own definitions of what being butch means. these terms come with sacrifice, they come with automatic rejection from society, they come with punishment both physical/legal and emotional, they aren't taking this shit lightly.
lesbian and trans experience is complicated and not going to fit neatly into any kind of narrative because we're communally writing the stories and definitions as they suit us and the community we have made. in general yeah saying lesbians are attracted to trans men is transphobic and lesbophobic but this is real people we're talking about, with real experiences that do in fact happen. it's not an idea, it's just what happened to those people. they're people of incorrect gender and incorrect desire which is the definition of what being lgbt is, and they should be considered as real human beings living through hell just to be who they are and survive. i don't think it's my role as a reader to further punish this person who's lived through more hardship for being gay and trans than i have, whose story is being very vulnerably told so i can benefit, so i can see some of myself and feel some connection in the past as a young nonbinary transmasc butch lesbian.
#asks#long post //#if i misspoke anyone can lmk this stuff is rly fraught in terms of language and i could always be more clear#butch
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soup eater, Gimme the works (all of the)m
AUTISM ACTIVATED. ok fuck this is gonna be long. under the cut it goes
📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?
😔 i am an anime enjoyer sadly enough. theres also the manga but i havent read that SO im just gonna be focusing on the anime for this one. uhhh (digging through my brain) none of this is going to be worded intelligently im sorry give me a moment.
there are these kids and some of them can turn into weapons. actually theres just weapon people in general and thats like Normal. dont ask too many lore questions. and they uhhh the kids go to a high school called the DWMA (lit. demon weapon-meister academy) focused on keeping the balance between good and evil. i uhhhhh
The anime is based on the Soul Eater manga series by Atsushi Ohkubo. The plot of the episodes follows Maka Albarn, a "meister" of the Death Weapon Meister Academy (DWMA), and her living weapon, Soul Eater, as she seeks to make the latter into a "death scythe" through absorbing the souls of evil humans.
thanks wikipedia
📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?
uhhh if im not mistaken an old friend introduced me to it back in 2018!! (hi holly the chances of you reading this are slim but hi) and it recently bubbled back up into my brain. ive been here for 2 years :heart:
✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?
i think that drew me towards it initially was the very halloweeny, early 2000s feel to it (and.. fair enough, it WAS made in 2008-2009 so its authentic) but what kept me reeled in was a lot of the themes and symbolism that i am waayy too tired to get into rn but i am just telling you bro this anime hits.. a little deep
and also canon nonbinary (even if shoddily translated at first) and psychotic characters win
🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?
i DO but i am keeping this spoiler free for you wife. these are all tearjerkers anyways so
🎶 if your hyperfixation has songs/an ost, what is your favorite song from it?
just one? 🥺 honestly the anime’s entire OST goes hard as hell and its super hard picking favorites but here:
LOTUS JUICE - PSYCHEDELIC SOULJAM
DJ SHINYA - NEVER LOSE MYSELF
LOTUS JUICE - STEP UP
and this one isnt part of the ost butttt....
CHIAKI OMIGAWA/KOKI UCHIYAMA - SOUL EATER CHARACTER SONG (Soul&Maka) - MAUVE IRO NO SYMPATHY
💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!
i could say crona and talk about their character development and how much i see myself in them and how we share the same trauma. or i could say maka and talk about HER character development and how i see myself in her in the sense of always trying to be good enough and pushing her limits to be strong and resilient in the face of everything. or i could say stein and go in depth about how hes written as a psychotic character while still not letting that define his entire being and how much i see myself in HIM. or i could talk about kid and liz and patti a
💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.
🏳🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?
lesbian maka, trans/intersex/nonbinary/lesbian crona, transmasc blackstar, nonbinary kid... literally all of these kids are neurodivergent (i see myself in them moment part 3845875)
🍀 do you have any kins or comfort characters from your hyperfixation?
that’s a little personal don’tcha think?
all jokes aside i don’t think i “kin” but uhhhh. honestly most these characters are comfort characters to me. soul eater in general is comfort media
💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?
*does a silly little dance* OHKAY!
none of the soul eater games (there were 3 of them) were ever released outside of japan
black☆star is voiced by women in both the jp and eng dubs
maka was chiaki omigawa’s first VA role
💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?
this isnt anime specific and i am thinking heavily of the manga crona boobage weirdness but every time atsushi ohkubo writes something weird with these characters i feel like this image. it fills me with primal rage
anyways thanks for listening this took me over an hour to write amd i kept bouncing around my room because i am so autistic and this series makes me so happy
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late night i forgot to go to sleep dysphoria blogging pls be careful
surgery talk n lotta dysphoria talk
i keep having thoughts lately like “i don’t want to be trans anymore” or “i’m so sick of being trans”
and the thing is i’m not sick of being trans, really, but i’m sick of the amount of dysphoria i have. no amount of wishing is going to make me cis. and i don’t want cis experiences but i want. my body to be different.
i used to feel pride in being trans and i miss that. i just feel exhausted now. and that sucks!!! i miss being that confident teen who was proud to be trans.
i do think being off tumblr and around cis people deeply fucked me up.
but i also like... don’t fucking Want to like my body more. i hate a lot of it now and i want it fixed. and yes, for me now at this point i use language like “fix” for myself. no amount of trying for me is going to make my need for surgery any less. and i think i feel this honestly Because a lot of my dysphoria around some stuff is almost gone now so what’s left feels Super Present and hard to bear.
i just want to be Done the physical parts of my transition. i’ve been out for a decade and i’m so. fucking. tired.
and i feel shame about having a lot of dysphoria?? like i’m being trans in a bad or wrong way and why can’t i be normal and not have that much dysphoria like everyone else. why is it just me in this boat. and the sick thing is that i would probably feel like i was being trans wrong if i had less dysphoria too. there is no normal because uhhh we’re all fucking individuals.
n like. i got bullied by tr****m on this website as a teen and now im trying to make d*ck surgery happen. like that shit is bullshit and garbage. idk. also my dysphoria has changed and grown over time or im just less dissociated from it.
(surprise assholes, i still like dresses and am still a dude. maybe you’re just homophobic and misogynists. i can’t wear dresses cause of dysphoria anymore but i still like them.)
idk. i think i have internalized transphobia and shame now that i never used to and maybe need to work through. but i just want to get my body sorted out before tackling anything that painful.
c*vid really fucked me over. i was really hoping to have another surgery done by now. it really is starting to feel urgent and desperate. and i’m so ready to live my life post physical transition.
(unrelated i fucking hate the term ftm and i also hate transmasc like im very decidedly not masc im just also a man GRUMBLES also wish we could leave asab out of it unless actually relevant. )
anyways thats me being bitter.
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Not to complain abt lateral aggression online but you know that cycle of transphobic women severely misunderstanding the experience of trans men and their complicated relationship with misogyny despite not being women but then also trans men severely misunderstanding misogyny becuase of their complicated experience with having to deal with the fallout of it despite not being women
Yknow that circling piss pool
It seems like whenever i see a discussion of misogyny and like...how children are taught to live under and emulate it. Theres this disgusting mess of transphobes and terfs extrapolating reality out to their theories on "socialization"...but then there are also like 20 transmasc weirdos who are like trying to distance themselves from it and end up essentially saying misogyny or the aspect of it being discussed is fake and all these women are lying bc 'well I grew up as a gurl and it wasnt like that for ME' as if 1. Feeling disconnected from being a girl because you werent one had No Effect on how you viewed girls and how you were treated bc people assumed you were a girl??? Are you fucking sure????? 2.just like...lol at men thinking its progressive and good for them to deny misogyny generally? Lol @ men trying to distance themselves from their role in misogyny...especially men you would expect to have more compassion since they were like a mistakeb target of it...but nope! That just becomes a new excuse to say they cant do a misogyny that goes largely unchecked
Like....if you are aware that your trans or your not
A starting point is feeling a kind of disconnect from the group youre "meant" to be part of
When that group is women, youre inevitably going to also be disconnected in some way from the pain that comes from misogyny, bc on sone level it doesnt feel "meant for" you. Thats someone elses experience. When it happens to you its a mistake.
But then when these discussions come up now were "generalizing". It becomes "oh well this didnt happen with me, one example of a person, and furthermore a person who WAS NOT A WOMAN, so therefore you argument that x is a societal problem is bunk i guess" and its.....just.....So...like peak boy logic idk
When my brother came out so many things immediately made sense for better and for worse. For worse in that i realized why he never fucking helped with chores, he didnt seem to feel any empathy for my mom having to do everything for him, and i had to pick up the slack. It made sense that i didnt have an older sister, and it made sense that all that shit about the plight of the oldest daughter had always made me so like actively angry because it was the opposite of what i thought was my experience. But actually, I was the oldest daughter...for however much of a girl i am yknow but. Different convo.
Biological sex isnt a thing and there isnt really some deeply ingrained set of gender genes ir whatever. Its just feelings. But when youre born into a binary culture where you learn even subconsciously that x is how women should be and z is how men should be...when you dont idebtify with women, you dont idebtify with x. You tend to go toward z bc thats the only other option youve been given.
So even if x is expexted of you, its like completely expected for youre behavior to start shifting before you come out. A lot of people relate to that either bc they were realizing who they were or becoming more comfortable with being that way outwardly. Its not a negative thing. But when were talking abt being a guy...an unavoidable part of that list of guy thongs is misogyny. And entitlement. And sadly the transphobia these men face seems to push them into like grabbing onto these parts ofbbeing a man a lot stronger, and using their unique perspectivw and """insider info""" on what its like to be a woman (even though...again...they arent...so um...) as a tool to discredit them
this is really messy and like Ironically PMSing phone complaining and im sorry but like ohhh my god it annoys me so god damn much. boys annoy me
it especially annoys me bc that boy is like saying its transmisogynist to talk abt an actual aspect of misogyny. whne like...no...trans girls are also victims of this. these expectations of women effect them as misogyny. directly.
its so fucking stupid like yes a terf can will and often does take real issues and conspiracy theory connect them to making it trans women’s faults...but that isnt the same thing as trying to talk abt the misogyny faced by all women. like. obviously. and a man getting holier than thou abt it and trying to shut down that discussion as something transphobic makes me want to pull my hair out.
this is probably rude but it comes off like he’s trying to make it about him when its not. like ‘this is transmisogynist which is a kind of transphobia and that effect ME!!!” when in reality he’s just...a man complaining that women are talking about their own oppression. it isnt misogynist to talk abt fucking misogyny
and at the end of the day the thing being talked about was the INCREDIBLY WELL KNOWN IDEA that women are specifically put-upon by men and society at large. that women have to do all this extra shit just to exist, then more to not be ostracized, then more that the ‘normal’ expected amount of work that ‘everyone’ has to pitch in, then ‘’’women’s work,’’’then more to keep the men around them from falling to pieces and throwing temper tantrums...and after women do and have done all that, for thousands of years all around the world, we’re still the weak and lazy and simple and childlike ones that have to be protected by manly man who, as we all know, totally do All of The Work.
that not being the experience in your family doesn’t make it suddenly dissappear.
that not being your experience as a woman, because you AREN’T a woman, doesnt....make women’s experiences...different.
but im just gonna unfollow that person and hope someday theyll learn ad well all go about our days bc it would be too much of an unneccessary and pointless effort for me to argue with a man about how women apparently don’t have to put tons of unneccessary pointless effort into dealing with and placating men and how saying so, apparently, hurts women?????? Ok
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