#i just dont wanna appropriate shit still idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calhanx · 1 year

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Please let me make a fansession with these dumbasses. Do you have Dream moons or even classpects?

nothing official yet since im still in the process of adding more socials to the mix but for now my very rough draft is

tumblr — prospit (page of life)

4chan — prospit (prince of hope)

twitter — derse (thief of heart)

tiktok — derse (bard of time)

reddit — prospit (seer of rage)

instagram — prospit (maid of space)

deviantart — derse (heir of void)

youtube — derse (knight of light)

as for my reasoning, pages tend to suffer from their aspect being taken from them or suffering from other people's manifestation of the PAGE's aspect. tavros's agency was always taken away by vriska. jake was everyones crush in the alpha kids group (one of hopes domain is sexuality and crushes. so its like they had hopes for jake) and it ended horribly. and horuss was often told off by meulin to keep a facade of smiles and politeness (voiding him even FURTHER). or whatever i dont remember much.

and yknow tumblr is like. why the hell does everyone think this site is dead? its cause twitter got most of the userbase when the porn ban happened. then BAM suddenly folks wanna get a piece of tumblr cause theyre all suffering under annoying billionaires (luxury is a domain of life, but can also be a source for doom).

as for 4chan. well ok im not familiar with 4chan but their vibes pretty similar to eridan so lets go with that.

twitter is a thief of heart because they always steal content from other sites (technically most sites do this) and its got a culture of being mean all the damn time even to earnest (heart) things. and i guess because of the short shelf life of tweets and trends, its impossible for most of its userbase to really make an identity? excpet for the influencers on there lol idk. so theres this lack of their aspect, which is a thing thieves go through and is something that causes them to always seek said aspect. still tentative!

tiktok is a bard of time because they invite destruction to time. they waste your time. they waste other peoples time. thats literally how its built. even its trends and culture make ME (personal opinion) go "why am i being subjected to this i dont care stop wasting my time". they dont last long either or at least dont stay relevant (to ME)

reddit. idk thats the place where smarty know it alls go. and yknow the challenge for seers is that they have to learn how to be wrong and EFFECTIVELY communicate with their teammates (kankri failed on both accounts. kept shitting on porrim. pre retcon rose failed on the latter because yknow alcoholism. retcon rose eeeeeh didnt really have a choice in improving herself on her own cause vriska did it for her but hey if it works it works i guess). if you make reddit into a person, seer feels like an appropriate class. also i picked rage for them because rage = truth. also lots of trolls on there, both in provoking rage through silly funnies, real life stories, real life but Insane stories, or legit fucked up stuff.

instagram is the maid of space because idk its vibes make me think porrim would like it. tentative idk much about it. all i know is that its very prospit-y because it requires the user to have a looot of grit to maintain their acc because of their shitty "post regularly" algorithm. at least from what i remember.

deviantart is heir of void because they are like equius. i think you get it. horses. sweat.

youtube is a knight of light because its culture revolves around its content creators! and yknow ccs gotta put up a front to entertain ya. its light because of its content! they literally need and breathe your attention. sometimes has educational stuff (knowledge) sometimes is just shitposts (attention) sometimes its really cool impressive stuff like speedrunning and gaming (victory/luck) sometimes its just funny challenges (success over goals). so putting all this together and makin a person out of it its like oh! theyre going to be sooooooo dysfunctional

anyway lots of this is still not finalized but feel free to do what ya want! socialstuck is free to share and im always glad to find folks makin stuff about it :]

#homestuck #calhanxtalks #socialstuck #tumblr #twitter #reddit #ok i dont think i wanna list down all the goddamn social sites fuck that #classpects

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vroerry · 7 months

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Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.

Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~

I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.

Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.

Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.

Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.

Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.

Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;

Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑

I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!

When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~

Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.

But now, to the fanifc:

A comforting touch

Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW

words: 1380

Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.

Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.

"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...

When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.

"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.

"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.

"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."

No response.

You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.

"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."

Still nothing.

You sighed.

"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.

His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"

"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"

"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.

"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."

"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.

"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.

"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."

"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."

"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."

"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.

"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.

He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.

"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.

"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"

"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."

"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"

You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.

"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."

"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.

"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.

Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.

Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...

"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" he whispered.

"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.

You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.

"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.

"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.

"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.

"Ride me" he pleaded.

"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.

"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.

"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch.

"Don't just promise me. Do it"

The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.

"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.

"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."

The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.

"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."

"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.

"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.

"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."

#danganronpa #danganronpa x yn #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #sdr2 kazuichi #kazuichi x reader #souda x reader #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #sdr2 #danganronpa x reader #kazuichi smut

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h0n3yk1tt3n · 4 months

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richard goranski for the character ask

Favorite thing about them

Little Shit characters are fun to inflict on the other characters. Is this a Little Shit Duo that plays off of each other? (Jake/Jenna) Is this someone that has no patience for The Little Shit and sees red every time they're together? (Chloe) Do they just kinda Enable the Little Shit Behavior by not actively acknowledging or discouraging it? (Christine/Brooke) Does this character just kinda tolerate the Little Shitness until they reach a breaking point like "aight ima throw hands heY GET BACK HERE" (Michael/Jeremy)

Least favorite thing about them

The Little Shitness can get a bit one-note (which is more fanon's fault than anything else) but its like.. it's hard to Get Into The Meat Of The Character when writing for them when like, By Design the character doesn't Want you to know more about them. They'll just deny and deflect and hide everything with humor (I have the same problem with Jared, and I say *problem* to mean *challenge to write convincingly* not like,, this detracts from the character)

Favorite line

Basically the entire last verse of The Squip Song. I just think it's neat. And something about the "fuckin dads right?" when his and jer's squips link

BROTP

Rich and Jeremy. They've got their shared squip experience which sells that dynamic a lot. Plus I love the idea of them becoming frenemies, like Rich still has some Asshole Conditioning in his head from the squip but instead of being scared of him, Jeremy is just Over It. Like instead of cowering away like Pre-MTS Reprise he'll just throw a comeback or bizarre threat his way (ie "Richard I will pour cement in your ears.") because at this point Rich is just a harmless puppy to him instead of the snarling pit bull he once thought him to be.

OTP

RichJake ofc. I really do wanna do more with them but my brain is just So Full of Other Stuff

NOTP

I'm pretty selective about ships but I'm not like, vehemently against anything (You do you ya know?) so long as it's age-appropriate and, ya know, not a squip x kid ship. (Never mind the pseudo-age gap, why ship someone with their abuser?? Or their friend's abuser?? I dont wanna derail this post so im just gonna move on)

Random headcanon

Drummer Rich drummer rich drummer rich drummer rich drummer rich drummer rich, I saw it in a vision and I know it to be true

Unpopular opinion

(Im getting a little more meta with this but) I think writing in his lisp is fun. Like in comic books that's how you know a character has a Russian accent, because it's written in such a way that you Have To Read It With An Accent. I get that it can be difficult to look at (and I don't fault anyone for that) but idk I like the immersion.

Song I associate with them

I'm cheating a little because this song kind of goes with all the kids in which Popularity Destroyed Them (Rich, Chloe, Jenna, Jeremy, kiiinda jake to an extent but mostly the others) but Teen Idle by MARINA is a VIBE

Favorite picture of them

GODS where's that one Two River pic in the hospital where Rich is just staring at Michael and Jeremy from his hospital bed, like Michael's getting all excited about how all the squips were connected when they deactivated and Rich has this lost Doped Up On Painkillers look??? I may have to reblog this if I find it later. If someone else finds it first feel free to add it here <3

#asks #be more chill #rich goranski #mj says shit #spotify

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scarsmood · 1 year

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how do you know you wont act upon the urges? doesnt the whole "searching out for more" thing about porn still apply to paraphilias? do you not fear of getting too comfortable and accepting of your paraphilias? how do you not fear of slipping up and acting on them?

Tw rape and paraphilia discussion

Here’s the thing you don’t know me lmao. I just make little tumblr post’s and that isn’t indicative to who I am as a person 24/7.

You have to accept your paraphilias actually that’s a healthy thing to do. You might be getting acceptance crossed with encouragement. You might wanna check my b3astiality tag but some studies found that actual beastiality isnt often committed from sexual attraction it’s usually motivated from other means. I think more often its commited sadozoophilia or sadistic zoophilia where you enjoy animals in pain.

I dont have that lol, i also am not afraid im gonna “do it” because i cant even act out my zoophilia specifically cause i only like animals x animals. So if i “lost it” the worst thing i could do is idk?? Watch animals get nasty like a little creep. Issue is i also only really get sexually attracted to animals like threatening wolves. So id specifically have to seek out tigers? Cause thats kinda close, even then its iffy. Probably isn’t gonna do anything for me tbh cause its still so far off.

It means typically what’s happening is my system is getting down w it internally or someone wants to do feral rp. You could commission art i guess. That’s still not that “crazy”

Let’s pick something else though. I have a few paraphilias and my zoophilia is basically useless. It’s not something I’m ever worried about but how about biastophilia or rape. That’s if you ask me much more worrying. Very real world and very easy to do.

That one specifically, because of my extensive sexual abuse history is what I’d call my “problem paraphilia” it also isn’t really recognized as one officially but thats okay this is more about answering the question “how do you handle impulses?”

I have gone and done extensive therapy for trauma, I’ll be honest pre-therapy i committed minor or major acts with sexual assault. So it’s a very alive problem. Because of DID i also didn’t even know i did this until roughly last year. So thats cool. Here’s what helps impulses I’ve found for paraphilias that actually have teeth and can cause serious harm.

Trauma associated with the paraphilia has to be treated, its a strong motivator to act. I did EMDR and still do it works very well for me. Secondly finding an outlet and appropriate expression is important it doesn’t have to be BDSM it could just be breaking things in a controlled area or drawing, walking, something to let out the energy that fulfills you and makes you feel safe.

You can still do BDSM, CNC does scratch the itch pretty well but what I find solves it more are trauma related grounding techniques. I have to avoid and neutralize triggers, do grounding techniques, toss in some DBT and CBT. Its an art form.

Do I feel like im gonna slip up ever? Honestly, yeah. Sometimes I feel out of control and it’s developed into a paranoia of “its gonna happen im a monster ect” that circles back to grounding and trauma therapy. I have my own set of grounding techniques when I feel that way. I do them until I become confident again that I’m okay and stable. If I can’t seem to that I do old reliable. Get the fuck away from me. I’m out of here im chilling in my room alone until this shit gets better.

Since the “paraphilia” or impulse is trauma based. I find i am most dangerous when someone tries to rape me. How ironic! This has happened a lot unfortunately and became a legitimate defense mechanism. I am quite happy to be monogamous now because instead of dealing with shit heads i get to be with my partner. If someone starts acting that way towards me now its easier to blow them off because i can justify thats cheating. So none of that bullshit.

Since my ex raped me a lot. Were talking upwards of 100+ cause it was weekly for 8 years. If i see someone that looks like him i can get a little angry that way. But after therapy its been pretty died down. It’s not a very visceral reaction i can accept the emotions and move on.

In summary, i think most paraphilias if theres is no harm specifically in their definition its not gonna be a problem. When it is though it’s best to learn DBT and CBT i enjoyed EMDR and my therapist helped me understand the signs before you commit to an impulse. Which will look different for everyone. You have to accept its a part of you as well. I didn’t pre therapy which meant i never understood until it was to late what i wanted to do. Recognizing your past, your impulses and how that’s also you and then embracing them and giving those parts of yourself resources to cope better is so hard. But it’s extremely important to do. It’s not beneficial for the person acting out those things either. It comes with guilt, shame the inability to trust yourself. Thats why it’s so important to even acknowledge its there.

With my sexual abuse it’s a family tradition/s the one that they all have in common is no one accepts it. No one talks about it. No one addresses it. You have to accept these things or else the cycle doesn’t stop. Hope that answers your question :>

#zo0philia #b3astiality #otherkin #therian #asks #afterdark #tw rape

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darby-rowe · 3 months

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As someone who writes darker content - mostly just in private now, but I used to post it waaaay back in 2020 - I think it’s super normal to feel that guilt! I’ve been there, so please don’t feel alone. As long as you know that it’s fantasy, and that you tagged it appropriately, and that people have the power to scroll, you’ll be okay. You posted the content in a very respectful and responsible manner. Don’t beat yourself up for it! And of course, if you decide that you aren’t comfortable leaving it up, we will understand. Make sure you put yourself first and take care 🫶🏻

i’ve been thinking a bit on why i felt so guilty after posting that fic and i think i figured it out.

i think it’s because this is the first time i’ve ever let myself write what i wanna write? for so many years i’ve been primarily focused on staying “pure” in fandom and playing it safe, and now that i finally let myself produce the dark content that i’ve always wanted to make…? idk it’s just a weird feeling!

and i know that we’re all adults here (at least i hope so) and we know when to scroll past things we don’t like, there’s still a nagging feeling of guilt in the back of my mind even tho i tagged the SHIT outta the fic. i also have this weird fear of any of my dear mutuals looking at my more darker and weirder fics and going “oh… yikes 😬” LIKE SKDKSKFKS. idk.

all in all i think the guilt i feel is just due to my insecurities. at the end of the day it’s pure fiction and fantasy. and even when i dont think so, ppl get a kick outta my darker fics and i think that’s pretty neat.

please let me know if this makes sense or if im just yappin’ at this point lol.

thank u for ur kind message, anon 🫶

#☽｡⋆ dally’s asks;

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rue-bennett · 2 years

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I fucking hate people so much. some people are afraid to come out, other just dont want to even if they feel safe and some people are straight but are gnc or explore their identity and these people are not fucking entitled to an explanation.

"evidence he is one of us" celebrities aren't just dolls you can project onto theyre real people and I cant begin to imagine how uncomfortable and violating is must be to have people write shit like this for millions of people to see. if you're actually queer and closeted its a damn nightmare but even if you aren't is so invasive. even if you come out as straight people still ship you with your friends and insist theres a secret conspiracy going on.

these aren't characters in a movie where you can whine about queerbaiting or queercoding and I dont understand how they as a queer person wouldn't understand how forcefully outing someone or speculating on their sexuality is inappropriate.

"use of our symbols" this isn't a cult Anna

for real. all of this. it’s all horrifying lmao. the gatekeeping is insane. isn't the goal that anyone should be allowed to do anything they want? shouldn't promoting/accepting nonbinary identities include people who use the pronouns they've used their whole lives? it's like, okay, on a policy level, yes, we have made HUGE strides globally and here in the united states, from abolishing sodomy laws and instituting protections rather than attacks and it's much safer to be an LGBT person in most places than it was 30 years ago. however, so many people have gotten so stupid and a lot of it is just terminally online bullshit but the policing of gender and sexuality and everyone having to have a label or else they're "appropriating" is insane. someone can be a straight cis man who considers himself all those things, but he dabbled in college, and found out it wasn't for him. is that appropriating culture? it just seems so suffocating. and i know a lot of this is because things online are communicated terribly and emotionally in black and white instead of the millions of shades of what the OG rainbow flag was supposed to represent (do we need a new flag for a new identity every week?). idk. we should be pushing toward the point where nobody has to come out or label themselves for other people's sake, not creating more divisiveness where there is literally no reason for it. someone said this to me on here the other day but i can't for the life of me remember who, but it really does remind me of what people get offended by now: are you bi but with a preference for men or women? what percent are you? like that's legit demeaning and offensive (if the person brings it up that's a little different but still stupid to try to quantify who you wanna fuck lol), but there are kids who have like 7 labels to describe how much/how little they wanna kiss people of xyz gender and it's like baby! you're a baby! you haven't even held a hand yet! you don't know! and it's OKAY not to know! i wish we could embrace the unknown instead of trying to label every bit of it. then when labels change, it feels earth-shattering, instead of it being a new exciting feeling to be attracted to somebody, or a new way to express yourself, or not do anything, or just doing whatever the hell you want without judging yourself or having others judge you.

#asks #anonymous #social media

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wickedgame00 · 2 months

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THE post

i had this au idea that was gettin so auish theyre ocs at this point . and i really mean it. im gonna turn them into ocs once i develop the idea well enough BUT ANYWAY .

- jd is a hardcore santana wannabe rockstar. he wants to be a music producer! i rlly like how he write most of bz songs bc it means he know smth abt music theory and i love that for him <3

- hes kinda a loser adult who goes to work on a miserable 9-5 job (to support his family ofc) and the rest of his time he plays guitar on the streets.

- floyd is an party animal w the voice of an Angel. he sings for whatever hes invited (an bar, karaoke, sm random abuela birthday, etc) but hes not that passionate abt being a singer like jd is abt music. its bc his life sucks LMAOO once he get his shit together he starts singing again for real. his angsty arc is abt moving to america to start a solo career 😞

- he works as a babysitter smtimes + is the one who takes care of branch bc hes a teenager and has free time. most kids on the barrio know him bc of that (and either have a crush on him or think hes disgusting and weird, no inbetween. parents hate him)

- bruce is a chef at the family's boteco and clay is a waiter. he cant take care of the finances bc hes too young for that lol. and if theyre still poor is bc of this shit ass restaurant 🫢 clay flirts w viva whenever he has the chance "HEY stop stalking the chiefs daughter and go back to work" "BRUCE SHUT UPP"

- ALSO the ages branch is not a baby. here floyd is 18 and branch is 13 . w that u can work the rest of the ages or whatever. their grandma didnt die yet (its a big emotional arc like in the heights) so branch is mostly fine and hes childhood besties w poppy, which will get angsty once branchs depression hits..

- branch invited his videogame buddy over and he went "WOAH ur sister (abt floyd) is so hot 😍😍" "hes a man 😐" "w-WHAT?" <- sorry here branch is just confused abt floyds gender identity. "at first he was my brother and now he has boobs and dress weird" type of stuff. i also dont get it

- jd writes all sort of romantic songs abt floyd but he will never know bc jd also sings it for random women LMAOO he sucks im sorry. theres some insane cheating plotline going on w jd and his college age-appropriate girlfriend vs his lil sibling. like. i mean 🫢🫢 theres not competition here

- the girlfriend in question is probably delta HELPP . i kinda wanna recontextualize the country troIIs bc it wouldnt make sense on my fantasy dominican republic island 🙄 or it could be in nyc/l.a but im not feeling all that

- their parents are garbage deadbeat teen parents . but theyre very much in love w each other and thats why they had 5 children ❤️ im lying its bc after accidentaly having jd when theyre were 16 and grandma rosiepuff had to help them they realized they needed more sources of income. it would pay off after jd started working at 14 (ilegally) SORRY THIS IS SO EDGY THATS JUST THE LIFE OF A FRIEND OF MINE 😭 and she has more sibs than them 🙄

- viva and poppy are daughters of the mayor or police captain idk. i kinda didnt wanna them to be rich for the vibes but they have to be bc its integral for their characters. w the story i had in mind i cant explore poppy and branch well enough bc theyre children :/ but w viva is another story!

GONNA MAKE UP MORE SHIT LATER BYEE

#the plot is rlly just in the heights #au

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bingobongobonko · 3 months

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rambling again sorry but also my blog. listen to my mentally ill rants. ofc no one anticipated an existence like this but like. i think of my younger self and maybe i was just ignorant but i really genuinely had the brightest view of the world. and i dont wanna lose that, i still have it, but im always scared of losing that. sometimes i do, on the worst days, but never permanently. i just dont think anyone anticipated how truly dire shit got. or maybe im just ignorant, probably the latter. the issues were always there, i just notice it as an adult now. thats a good thing anyway. tho i hope im still as childish when im in my 30s. i act stupid for a reason. keeps u sane. im not saying everything is a joke because its not, theres an obvious line for that. i guess it just makes shit easier to be silly when you can afford to be silly, at least for me, cuz if i dont i will 100 lose my mind. sometimes you cant tho and thats okay. idk what im saying, i guess shit is just. Man. hard to articulate. whimsy i guess. where its appropriate, i need to do it more. i dont wanna lose my will to keep going, so ill make one myself. and i like funny things, so thats what makes it easier. so i need to be more silly where it matters.

#fool's monologue #dont misconstrue my words as saying that id rather live in ignorance at the state of everything at all once #pointing my finger at you.i accept that the world has always needed work and will continue to need work #i just realize the only reason why i havent thrown the towel in is cuz i like silly things in life and i want shit to change so everyone ca #be silly too and feel like shit is worth living for and even have a chance to do that while beating the fuck out of the shit that spits on #what humanity we have on us #whimsy is a privilege i can afford 2 have

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royboymain · 2 years

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Vent Warning

what do you do when someone isnt ok with any response you give to them complaining about an aspect of their life?

like it progressed like this:

them: so [insert anything negative]

me: oh i'm sorry man, is there anything I can do?

them: you dont have to ask if theres something you can do its not a big deal

later

them: [negative thing]

me: i'm sorry man, that sounds shit

them: stop saying sorry i dont want your pity.

later

them: [negative thing]

me: ah, thats shit :/

them: your half-arsed pity really isnt making me feel better

me: ok, would you prefer i just say yeah when you say stuff like that?

them: ugh i dont have time for this charade, bye.

literally what do i do now. there isnt any other response.

tw// suicidal thoughts mention and death below the cut

and they say shit a lot that's like "yeah i dont intend on living for another 2 years" and then they get mad at me for looking upset about that, and i literally do not know what the appropriate response is and that makes them mad. what do you say to someone who's telling you about how they're not living for another 2 years when they get mad no matter what you say. this person is diagnosed so i can't just say "maybe talk to someone?" because they do, and if i look sad or sound sad they have a go at me for pitying them but what do they want me to do, just go "haha yeah"

and if i do ever play along and agree with that sort of stuff they get mad at me as well, like today they said "yeah, i'm probably never gonna finish this project anyway so it doesnt matter if i'm bad" and i said "yeah thats fair" which i thought was the answer they wanted me to give but no they had a go at me for "Having no faith in them" i literally cannot win with them. ive felt like im walking on thin ice with them for weeks now, and almost everything starts some kind of argument. i dont wanna cut them out of my life, we almost lost contact twice but both times things got immediately better afterwards and then things went back to how they were and now i'm back to walking on ice. its just exhausting, and they have this weird jealousy thing like my grandad passed away last wednesday and as a result ive been online less and they're very clearly mad that ive been spending more time with my family, they were complaining about how ive "barely spoken to them online" for weeks even though a) the last few weeks were when my grandad was dying and b) i have spoken to them for at bare minimum half an hour on the worst days but on average 2 hours a day even still, and its not like they can only talk to me they know other people and whenever i go out with them and one of the other people they know i'm always forgotten so idk why i have to constantly talk to them. i'm sorry this turned into a vent

#tw vent #tw suicidal thoughts #tw death #personal post

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chisatowo · 3 years

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You know I'm having a fun time when I have like half of the dr fandoms most popular ships tags blocked </3

#rat rambles #most of them arent inherently bad but they still make me personaly uncomfortable #I just wish people would tag their shit though #Im trying to get more creative with my filtering as to limit my encounters with that content as much as possible #but its hard #and like I feel bad blocking the tags of ships I dont rly hate that much #because a lot of the ships I have blocked make me legitimately super super uncomforable and I rly dont want to see them #but then theres some that simply involve a character I like that I dont rly care about and get tired of seeimg it all the time #again though not all of the ships I dont like are actually bad which means a lot of my mutuals ship them and I dont wanna make them feel bad #or whatever #and I see some people have a blank dont look tag but thats usually for like triggers and stuff #and I dont think itd be appropriate to use something like that to evade ships that make me uncomfortable #idk #oh this got a but venty woops #rat vents

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un2-verse · 3 years

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BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

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