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thranduel · 9 months

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some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭#also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because ->#in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

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yuri-is-online · 7 months

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Hello, hello! Congrats on making the 500 follower milestone!🥳🎉🎆 For the masquerade event, may I request prompt no. 12 with Leona, Riddle and Azul, please? Thank you!

12. You had a wonderful time dancing and flirting with someone at the ball, only to find out from your friends the next day that was your crush. And you have no idea if they knew it was you they were dancing with.

Hi hi friend!!! I am very happy to see you, in both my inbox and my notifications. I really hope you like what I came up with here, and look forward to any future requests you may have.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, SUGGESTIVE WARNING FOR LEONA (he gives Yuu a hickey) Leona? Self-destructing? It's more likely than you think, Riddle is a fragile Victorian maiden, and Azul is himself, a reference is made to his chat with Jade. This got a bit angsty but everything is ok in the end. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist here.

Leona

Just one night. That's what Leona told himself, one night with you in his arms, all your attention focused on him; your smiles, your laughter, the heat of your breath against his lips as he steals all of your air and pockets the sound of your gasps in the back of your mind right by all those times he got the last word in an argument with Kifaji. You were going to be his for one night and one night only, with a mask, hat, and cape to shield him from all your typical banter and sweep you up in the allure of the Masquerade. And it had worked, like the predictable herbivore you were you let him sweep you off your feet and monopolize all of your time for the entire night.

Your eyes had been drawn away by a particularly loud shout from the lizard's annoying retainer, that pointless concern drawing you away from him once again. He touches just under your chin and moves your head back towards him, trying not to let his smirk grow any further when you melt into his touch and completely ignore the commotion.

"Sorry," you do sound like it "where were we?"

"You were about to stop telling me how nice my costume is and do something more productive." The hears the heart rate increase before he feels it, tastes Yuu before he kisses them, and knows long before he pulls away that this was a mistake. He was supposed to tie off his feelings by proving to himself that attending one of these shitty formal events with you would suck.

And it sort of had, but only because he had to hear your strangled disappointment when he left you alone instead of ditching the soirée to come home with him.

Home. As if either of you would be welcome there. ~~~~ "So you wanted me to be sitting down for this conversation?" You have a feeling you know why Ruggie is here. It has something to do with the extremely inhuman teeth marks that would have been your death warrant if looks could kill.

"You already know you were sucking Leona's face last night right?" You aren't quite sure who Ruggie is trying to be polite to with keeping his descriptions to that already vivid medium.

"Yes," you look off just past Ruggie as if it will save you any embarrassment "I found out when Vil started slapping foundation on my neck and demanding I call my therapist."

"You should still do that." So it's you Ruggie is trying to be polite to, sweet that makes eye contact a little bit easier. "But- no after you do that would you mind talking to Leona? I'd say call him but he's just going to ignore you and I am sick of it."

"Oh come on," you try to lighten the mood with a laugh "it's only been one day right?"

"Try since you met." Ruggie mutters and your mood falls back to the stressful buzz of nonsensical energy that you had been stitched in all day. He probably didn't mean for you to hear that, just like Leona didn't mean for you to see him as vulnerable in anyway at all.

"Did he send you to pick something up?" It's not a question Ruggie jumps to answer, but he doesn't have to. "Mind letting me deliver it?" ~~~~ "You've got some nerve showing your face here." Leona knows it's you, and you wish you could say you're surprised he is able to tell with his eyes closed, you wish you could say the deep breath he takes before he opens his eyes is ugly or terrifying in some way so you have an excuse to run.

But for some ungodly reason you don't want to. Seeing him makes things less embarrassing, in a complete defiance of logic and good sense you feel nothing but confidence as you stride across the room and set the skewers Ruggie made on his room's coffee table. "Figured you wouldn't answer your phone so I just let myself in." You don't move any closer to his bed, not because you are afraid of him, something you know he knows as he makes a show of opening his mouth to taste the air and show off his teeth. No if Leona wants you-

"Here to say you regret it?" He means it as a taunt, but like so many of those it's a bit too truthful for you to really be insulted. "I just wanted a taste, you had to have known a herbivore like you would never be able to keep up with me."

"And you have to know that acting like a coward is unbecoming for anyone," the strength of your voice only surprises him, you know damn well Leona isn't the only one who is capable of being petty "let alone you." He closes the distance between for you, eyes narrow and a growl shaking you to your core but he doesn't dare lay a hand on you.

"You-"

"Are completely right and will not take any criticism." And now you are interrupting him, oooh you can piratically see the fire in his eyes. "Look, if you don't want me that's fine. I'm a big herbivore, not a little cub trying to cling to your warmth. But if you do-" You really wish Leona had a tie, it would make this nicer but he doesn't so you satisfy yourself with yanking him down to you with a fistful of his hair "then I want to hear it. And I won't yield until I do."

For a brief second, you wonder if any of what you've just done is smart. If you should have told Vil, Ace, Trey, anyone other than just Ruggie and Grim where it was you were going so they knew who to blame for your mangled corpse. But that would just complicate the excited flicker in Leona's eyes when he fully understands that you are serious. When he breaks free of your grasp with a simple shake of his head and-

Laughs. Freely and purely in a way you don't think you've ever heard before as he reaches out to that specific spot on your neck and wipes away the makeup with a simple, self satisfied spell.

"Beg."

"Excuse-"

"Oh I want to tell you," Leona is back in all his annoying smug glory, you should have expected this from someone who refused to apologize for overblotting "you have no idea just how much I want to say, but I wanna hear you beg just as bad, so indulge me a little yeah?"

I know you want to.

Riddle

"Hey congrats!" Cater almost knocks you off your couch with how hard he claps you on the back. "I was staring to think you and Riddle would never-"

"Wait, wait, wait, slow down." You make sure to put your mug down on a coaster and out of either of your reach so your precious morning brew didn't get knocked over by anyone's antics. "How did you get into my dorm and what's this about me and Riddle?" Cater gives you his best peeved look and you give him your best infuriated stare. Both of you know the answer to both of those questions; he let himself in, and you are in love with Riddle. But you do fail to see what that last bit has to do with anythi-

"Didn't you kiss him last night?" Cater is really glad you set that mug down because the wheezing cough you hack up would have been truly dangerous if any liquids involved. "He's been totally out of it all day, it's super cute you want to see some pics?"

"NO!" You manage an impressive volume for someone so low on air. "I just- ididntknowitwashimand-"

"You what?" Cater is only half paying attention, already moving to show you some admittedly extremely cute pictures of Riddle sitting in the Heartslabyul lounge with a cup of tea staring out the bay window, an unusual shade of pink decorating his cheeks with a strangely serene look on his face. You want to touch his chubby cheeks but Cater keeps his phone just out of your reach.

"I didn't know it was him." You say, quietly almost to yourself and though Cater does suck in a pretty deep breath he doesn't overwhelm you with his reaction. "I mean it was just on the cheek! I thought..."

Sweet. Your dance partner was so sleepy, and trying so very hard to stay awake. But it was clearly unbelievably far past his bed time, he can't stop yawning.

"I'm sorry, I'm being extremely impolite." He falls onto your shoulder anyway, and you feel compelled to protect him from the crowd, gently guiding him away from the lights and wrapping your cloak around his shoulders.

"It's ok, you shouldn't be sorry for feeling sleepy." He hums happily as you look around for one of the professors to take him back to his dorm. "I had a really fun time dancing with you already, I didn't know anything about formal dances before I came here so it was really nice to have such a helpful partner. You don't need to keep yourself awake for me."

"But I want to." He murmurs. "I want you to see me as reliable." Poor kid, he must really be out of it to be relying on a stranger for validation. Thankfully you finally manage to find Crewel and give your new friend a quick thank you kiss on the cheek before you pass him off.

"You're plenty useful, you don't need my approval." And you are gone before he can shout again about just how badly he wants it.

"I thought he was just some guy." You say. "And it wasn't like a kiss kiss, it was just a peck on the cheek." Something you never would have done if you knew it was Riddle, something he had seethed with jealousy over you giving out to everyone else and conveniently neglected to disclose to Cater as the type of kiss he had gotten. Cater had been under the impression it was a bit more... dramatic but then he supposes as he looks at you and then the picture of a pining Riddle on his phone, that this scenario does make a bit more sense.

Maybe the little teapot had an inappropriate dream where you held hands in the rose garden on the way back to Heartslabyul and gotten that mixed up with reality. A sharp knock at Ramshackle's door snaps you both away from your thoughts as Cater quickly excuses himself though one of the lounge's windows and you move to answer it, little doubt about who it could be. ~~~~ Riddle's entry to Ramshackle is much more formal than Cater's. He says nothing as you walk back to the lounge, you say nothing as you sit down on your couch, and he politely coughs when he settles into a recliner but still offers nothing in the way of an explanation.

"Thank you for letting me in." He does say that, because to do otherwise would be rude.

"You're always welcome over." And you can't exactly help but say that because anything else would be a lie. The silence stretches out as you stare at your poor mug in distress.

"Your tea's cold." Not the line you expected from Riddle, less so the genuine distress. "I'm sorry if I interrupted you."

"Oh it's ok, I wasn't really making much progress on it anyway." You had just made it when Cater showed up, and you had quite forgotten about it until you needed a distraction. "Did you have a good night's slee-"

"I love you." Riddle doesn't blurt anything ever, the words are as blunt and firm as a deceleration of the Queen's rules. Once again, you are very glad that no liquids are involved in the breath you are required to take. "I love you and would very much like to know if you love me too. It's alright if you don't, I'm content with our friendship, treasure it even, but I need to say something to avoid further miscommunications on my part like last night's." He moves, not quite to his knees, but deferring to you all the same. "Please." Riddle doesn't know what he is asking for, and you barely know how you answer. "What do you have to say?"

"I think." You gently take his hands in yours. "That I would like to make two cups of tea. And I would like you to sit a little closer to me."

Azul

He knew. There was no way in the deep blue sea that conniving, scheming, bastard hadn't known it was you for one second. So what was it that Azul wanted from you so badly that he pretended to be attracted to you for an entire night? You shuffle around under your blankets and flip the pillow you had been sobbing into just a few moments prior trying to convince yourself to go back to sleep, that this revelation (even if it felt more like a train wreck with how loud Ace and Deuce had yelled at you this morning) would be better digested after a night's sleep.

Closed eyes take you back to the dim lights of the ballroom, the perfect way the supposed stranger holds himself, poised yet somehow relaxed. Like he was always meant to be held in your arms, the way he removes his glove before he takes your hand in his and intertwines your fingers as you dance doesn't even strike you as slightly performative.

"Your hands seem cold." He says, plush lips curving into a smile as his thumb runs over your knuckles in time with the shiver his words send through your spine. "May I hold you closer? It might help with that chill you seem to be suffering." And though you say nothing you still move further into his embrace, overwhelmed with the beauty of his affection.

You take a deep, shuddering breath and scream again into your pillow as Grim rolls over next to you mumbling something inaudible to your foggy mind.

This is pure torture. ~~~~ You knew it was him. That was the conclusion Azul had drawn because there was no way, with how deep your affections ran for him, you would have ever allowed someone else to sweep you up into their arms when you had his gift tied so delicately around your throat.

"I was right," he remembers saying that with such loaded intent he almost cringed at the sound of his own voice "it does look quite attractive on you." The spiral conch was a bit out of place in your costume, but you had still thought to wear it. The delicate silver string he had spent so much time agonizing over glittered in the magical lights of the ball. There was no reason in his mind, no reason until approximately 8:45 AM this morning anyway, to consider last night as anything other than a complete success. Now though...

Roses are too Heartslabyul, it's a bit too late to go looking for coral or seashells even if that was something he knew he needed to give to you at some point. Courtship traditions were ingrained in cultures for a reason, and he knew- well until he saw Ace shaking you in Ramshackle's courtyard he thought he had noticed that you were receptive to merfolk ones.

"Looking to make an apology little imp?" He does not startle to Sam's question, though he does make a disgruntled sigh.

"It appears I need to." Because no one on this campus likes to admit they have ever done anything wrong, and Azul does not think he was wrong to approach you but he knows you're mad. He had been waiting for your usual weekend visit to the lounge, anxious but excited, already having worked his way through the misunderstanding in his own mind. To be jealous of himself had never crossed his mind. You had never once asked to leave him as soon as he had asked for your hand, mask or no that was all Azul really wanted, out of that night anyway. But he had been making plans for this one he still wishes to see fulfilled, ones precious enough to swallow a little pride and say the words. And with that in mind... "Do you have peonies? Light pink, almost white." He doesn't really have to ask, the flowers are bought and paid for as almost an afterthought as Azul tries to plan something, even though he knows with each step he takes towards Ramshackle that the instant he sees you it will all fall apart. But he knocks on the door anyway, and tries not to half cry himself when he sees the stressed face that greets him.

"I am told," Azul says carefully, purposefully not forcing himself into your space no matter how much he wants to reacquaint himself with the warmth of your embrace "that this is the way land dwellers apologize for romantic indiscretions." Between partners goes unsaid as you, against the advice of all your friend group and the monster asleep in your bed, let him into your lounge and excuse yourself to find a vase. It's not strange to see him so relaxed, Azul's self confidence was one of the many things that attracted you to him, but it feels strangely homey to see him settled into your couch not even remotely phased by the flowers he holds. And when he looks up to see you, you can watch the breath catch in his chest before his smile shines through. It's almost enough to make you drop the vase, but not even that is enough to shatter his reverie.

"Thank you." The whisper is hoarse from your previous tears, Azul settles the flowers in the vase before pulling the glove free from his hand to allow you to seek reassurance from the coolness of his touch. There are no tears now, but the gentle curl of his hand around your cheek still has a slight tremble.

"I am sorry." He means that, even if he did nothing wrong he can still regret hurting you he decides. "Would you allow me to show you something?" Something he says, like the embrace you share and the kiss he finally gets to savor is a thing he is giving you and not a treasure he has longed to take.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #500 followers celebration #help i am gaslighting myself into liking leona #also i did get the very lovely little message you sent months ago now i think? i've been saving it to look at because it made me very happ #i hope that's ok #i went down a rabbit hole trying to decide what flowers to pick for azul #there is a reason but i need to sleep so maybe i will say later

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