#i hope she knows how important she is
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what's so clever about Clara Bow is that when she references her own name at the end, she's not talking about the present but the future, quoting the inevitable way people are going to one day talk about her, imagining it will only be in regards to the woma(e)n who surpass her. because there will be someone who surpasses her, eventually. that's the cycle of fame, isn't it? we're simultaneously captivated by the alluring trick of the past while looking for the next big thing. we compare current stars to the lights that shined before them, "you look like taylor swift." but we're also constantly waiting for someone new and greater to take the crown and captivate us anew, "you've got edge she never did." And half the song is about acknowledging that being revered is hell on earth for the people who are in it, because you're always trapped between what came before and what will come after. you're only safe insofar as you remain shiny. But the real beauty of the song is that it never succumbs to this dichotomy, but embraces it. It's Taylor acknowledging she wouldn't be who she is were it not for the women who came before her, who shared the same dreams, and recognizing her place in the chain of the women who will come after. The future's bright, dazzling.
#it's about appreciating and finding comfort in the people they want you to be intimidated by#and hoping she can be a source of comfort for the girls to come#it’s about knowing you’re not alone even when they’ve made you’ve out to be Singular. and how fucking IMPORTANT that is.#ttpd#clara bow#taylor swift#i love this song so SO much. wow#ts
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#I love you my baby xbloodiedxkneesx so much#im glad that the blog is still up#and i hope that we'll be able to talk again on discord soon#i hope she sees this#and i hpoe she knows how muhc i love and miss and adore and need her#i hope she knows how important she is#how beautiful adn wonderful she is#how perfect she is#and how much i think she's the most precious and valuable life on this planet#she deserves to smile#she deserve all the happiness in the world#she deserves the very best of firend#adn she deserves better htan i gave her last night#but i love hre#and i wanna work on this#i wanna better myslef#i wanna be the godsend she alawys thoguhts i was#i wanna make her the happiest girl in the world#and i just hope we get to talk today#i love her#i love her so fuckin much#i miss you tracy#please come home#i love you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
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either treat abigail, molly, mary, with respect or die looking down the barrel of my gun
i'm being one hundred percent serious when i say i'm tired of people disregarding and disrespecting them to uplift their queer ships. it's bad and it needs to stop.
like i just read a jovier post where they have john cheat on abigail?what the fuck man.
his love for her is unwavering and he is incredibly committed to abigail, he's so devoted to her, working so hard to create a life for the three of them. john is willing to lay down his life to protect his family, and he does so, rescuing them is his whole motive for seeking redemption in the first game. he would never disrespect abigail like that, he's learned and grown, he's no longer the shithead deadbeat dad when jack was young, he loves her.
arthur still so clearly loves mary, his love remaining steadfast and unwavering even years after their broken engagement, it's so obvious on his face when he looks at her. his heart still yearns for her that when she calls, he comes, even if he's a little miffed at the start, he still goes. honestly, i believe if arthur didn't have other commitments in the gang, he would have run away with her when she asked him.
and while molly and dutch's relationship is tumultuous and dutch absolutely does not deserve her, molly is so important to dutch's character and the story as a whole. molly's loyalty to dutch highlights dutch's charisma and the ways dutch inspires loyalty throughout the gang. her existence also depicts the internal conflicts dutch has and the moral uncertainty of dutch's actions. her presence within the gang and relationship with dutch represents the internal strife and conflicts within the gang, highlighting the human cost of their choices and the sacrifices that are made in pursuit of a false freedom in the old west.
and let's not even mention the treatment eliza, annabelle, bessie and even susan receive, which is hardly any mention at all.
eliza, annabelle and bessie each play small but significant parts to not just their respective partners, but to the story as a whole.
eliza shapes arthu’rs past and motivations. her tragic death, along with their son, isaac, has a large impact on arthur and his present relationships, such as abigail and jack. their memory serves as a driving force of arthurs path to redemption.
annabelles fate fuels dutch's vendetta against colm and the o'driscolls, and adds personal stakes to the gang as a reminder of the consequences of their life as an outlaw.
and bessie, oh bessie, not only does she add depth to hosea and represents hosea's wishes for a more peaceful life, but hosea loves her so much that when coming to terms with his inevitable death, whether by gunshot or sickness, the mere chance of reuniting with bessie brings him so much comfort, despite the fact that he fears that bessie lives above, while hosea will be traveling down below.
susan is a very controversial character due to her treatment of the women in the gang and her murdering molly, who did not betray the gang, both of which i do not condone, but it is impossible to deny her importance to the story. not only was, from what we know, dutch's first woman, coming before annabelle and molly, she also served an important role in the gang, acting as an authority figure, maintaining order and discipline within the gang where tensions often rise. she serves as an emotional anchor, which is incredibly important when death is constantly looming over you and adds so much depth and complexity to the story of rdr2.
when you ignore and disregard these characters you are undermining the depth and the richness of the story, each of these characters are important to the story. if you wish to truly appreciate the storytelling of rdr2, it is important to recognize and respect each of these characters.
#i know i've said this before. several times in fact but this keeps happening and people are not learning#listen i love charthur so so much. i have written multiple posts about my love for charthur.#i have studied every interaction every compliment every argument and yet. and yet. i still respect mary because i know how important she is#to not just arthur but to the story of rdr2 itself. representing hope and redemption and personal growth#im not as big as a vandermatthews fan. like i ship it sure - but god please learn to respect molly annabelle and bessie. especially bessie#the characters importance does not disappear because you want them too#respect them like you would any male character#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#rdr2 abigail roberts#abigail roberts#rdr2 molly o'shea#molly o'shea#rdr2 mary gillis#mary gillis#rdr2 susan grimshaw#susan grimshaw#rdr2 bessie matthews#bessie matthews#rdr2 annabelle#rdr2 eliza#rdr2 isaac#rdr2 hosea matthews#hosea matthews#rdr2 dutch van der linde#dutch van der linde#rdr2 arthur morgan#arthur morgan#rdr2 john marston#john marston
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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ideal ggy reveal for me right now is some sort of game whatever format theyd use (for example sb vs hw is very different storytelling) about vanny killing dr rabbit and it leads up to the beginning of sb at the end
#like more vanny shows rab in a game therefore making ggy canon for sure explains why gregory was in the pizzaplex#would show one of the stepping stones vanny took to get to glitchtrap to kill him like she killed rab#it just makes sense to me#also works for vanny cassie#since rab will be no threat since hes dead so vanny has the spotlight#and gregory with his connection to cassie feels guilt over letting the same thing that happned to him and his family happen to her#so now he feels responsible to help her#leading to a game with gregory protag and vanessa and freddy co-protag/guides#im just explaining the secret little future fnaf game storyline im hoping for in my head#i just feel like if vanny cassie is real#which it RLLY seems like it is after hw2#revealing ggy before some sort of action would be taken would mean a lot#for gregory and cassies relationship#he would uave been in her boat and feel guilt for not being fast enough to save her from tbe same fate#i know vanessa would work better because she was vanny but she has no connection or friendship with cassie like gregory does#and it gives ggy some importance too#that is kinda more to serve the cassie plot than to make ggy more important or overshadowing vanny#not that ggy could overshadow vanny if vanny cassie is happening lol#pandas.txt#thoughts#theory#kinda#im just being hopeful#by hw2s dlc things will be so different#its so impossible to guess whatll happen in a fnaf game#and what will change#superstar duo#ggy#this is ALSO heavily based on a theory of mine that vanny killed rab @ the beginning of sb and thats why greg was at the pizzaplex#and how he got freed and why rab is nowhere to be found
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Direly hoping/looking forward to seeing Bagi witness just how much Cellbit *cares* about the eggs and treats them so softly and would be such a wonderful Uncle to Empanada. She's only ever seen him without the eggs around, the closest thing being to when he's around Roier YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND she's never actually seen him at his best and that side of him that only seems to show up when he's watching over or talking to one of the children and I think that would just be something special when thus far she's only been seeing him getting worse, and seeing this side of him that was locked away since the eggs went missing can only benefit their relationship and I want to see the look on her face when she sees him greeting the eggs (especially Richas, Em, and Tallulah) again for the first time, I can guarantee we would visibly see her heart melt through her eyes and smile and I CRAVE TO WITNESS THAT FEELING AFTER ALL THE NEGATIVITY BETWEEN THEM. It would prove to her that he can still change for the better, that there's still something there to hope for and reach out to and bond with, all's not lost between them and the eggs are a line of stability that even if they don't stray him from his present path of destruction it's still there to show there is still hope and a reason for him to not completely lose himself *claws at the walls*
#It'll yet be some time until his return#and we still don't know how the nuke will effect him#nor whether he will still continue his murderous rampage and associated instability now that the eggs are back#but I just want to see him interacting with the eggs again#and I want to see Bagi SEE HIM doing so#it'd show her that there is still a good part of him left#that he can still be helped#the eggs always were such an important part of a majority of the islanders' mental health#and I would be thrilled for Bagi to see that in action with someone she feels so helpless to help like her brother#going insane there's so much potential here and I hope we get to see even a fraction of it#qsmp#cellbit#bagi#qsmp eggs#qsmp cellbit#qsmp bagi
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I know we all love to say "fuck mystra" this and/or Gale's Folly (subtitled: How Could You Be Such A Callous Idiot)—but really, Gale and Mystra are primarily REALLY BAD at communicating. The whole issue started when Mystra a) couldn't provide a satisfying answer to Gale's desire for more, b) Gale decided that instead of being vulnerable and working through it, he'd do a Secret Project(TM), c) Gale didn't bother telling Mystra what said project was, and/or she only vaguely warned him off it. And then Gale rolled a nat 1 on his arcana check, and then a second nat 1 for insight b/c the DM was attempting to take mercy on him and was staring at Gale and the book, worrying 4d6 under the table while not breaking eye contact and saying, very slowly, "...are you sure?"
#there are so many problems with their relationship#primarily Gale's lack of literally anyone else besides Tara and his mom that aren't caught up in this thing#and also the power differential#but if we take mystra in act 3 at her word#she would've eventually opened up to gale#he was just too young for him to have more than a taste of what was *really* important to her#(she's a goddess—so ymmv about how important /meaningful sex is to her)#and Gale didn't mean to release the karsite weave in the first place#(NVM he somehow thought mystra *broken* or less of herself)#he was trying to give her back a piece of herself#He just entirely misread the entire situation#for the record#this is not mystra-positive#fuck mystra#and fuck all the other gods#just that if they were in a different genre besides high fantasy mythic adventure story prologue#this could've been a great comedy of errors#bg3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#mystra#(gosh I hope people still know what 4d6s are for...)
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What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?
(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)
Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:
#ffxiv#wolship#g'raha tia#y'shtola rhul#wolgraha#wolshtola#y'shtola x wol#arsay nun#graharshtola#y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw#and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh'#her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo#i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship#someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections#its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either#just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together#or that she could at least bring some cheer to#and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it'#which arsay certainly did#i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags#so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks#graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough#to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her#to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath.#he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life#but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast#so hes trying to build her up in other ways#focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side#and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its#'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter
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“Claude in Hopes is exactly the same way he is in Houses! He’s always been like that and has the same feelings/morals!”
Claude in GW/Hopes:
Claude, literally, in Houses:
Let that speak for the fact that Claude was written with a 180 characterization in Hopes.
Claude wants peace and to bring everyone together; not to tear them further apart. That is his character.
#I’m still in the middle of answering this ask I got but yeah#even Edelgard noticed Claude really loves bringing ppl together in WC#when she says ''you really value that sort of thing don't you'' after the Eagle/Lion (+Deer >.> ) battle#like if Claude's goal was to destroy Fodlan and just leave a mess of it A+++ you did an astounding show stopping brilliantly done job#if your goal was peace well you fucked that up pretty good buddy#in Hopes too like he's literally arguing with Lorenz about it while Lorenz is like ??? bruh wtf ???#literally who cares what some politicians did 300 years ago certainly not Houses Claude#in fact Claude said fuck our history sideways with a cactus let's make peace and be friends#AND he got the approval from the whole roundtable and that's all we know on the topic bc it's all we needed to know#versus in GW where it's explicitly stated that it took some doing for them to allow Claude to be king#meaning the roundtable was not up for what he was suggesting and needed to be convinced#they needed it enough that Lorenz pointed it out to everyone and from a narrative standpoint#AM Claude doesn't need to say how the meeting went and all we need to know is that it worked out#but in GW it's told to us that the meeting was very long and it took some doing for them to trust Claude's judgment#the meeting is presented in a more uncertain light with how the lords felt abt it whereas in AM#it's not told to us how things went bc it's not important. a negative aspect (i.e. the roundtable not being able to come to an agreement)#is an important thing to note and if there was any negative aspect of it in AM they would've put it in there#meaning the roundtable trusts AM Claude's judgment enough when he tells them he wants to put their two nations together again#idk how else to explain that so I hope you get what I mean lol#I just find it completely baffling that people actually say both Claudes are the same person and that he was always like how he is in Hopes#like you can like his character in Hopes and enjoy that portrayal of him but at least admit he's written differently you know?#I hate when I see people say that Claude fans didn't understand his character in Houses at all bc they don't like him in Hopes#when you have literal staunch polar opposite sentences coming out of his mouth in these two scenes#the Claude we get in AM is the same Claude - the same person at his core - as he is in VW and all the routes#Houses Claude does not blame whatever the fuck Leicester and Faerghus did 300 years ago on the people living in their present#he also doesn't blame Dimitri or anyone else presently in power for Daphnel#GW Claude there is just grasping at unimportant and insignificant straws to justify his invasion#pretty sure AM Claude would be like ''hey dimi lemme borrow failnaught back real quick'' and smack GW Claude with it#then kindly hand it back to Dimi and smile and wave
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Lost in thoughts, endure a little more word vomit (emotional) if you will.
I received the news that a much beloved instructor of mine from the institute that won't be named passed away recently. I had the honor of taking her intaglio and relief/monotype/woodcut printmaking classes. They were the bright spark in a fog of dread, stress, and overwhelming feelings of inadequacy. They were what I looked forward to every week.
You really don't understand how much an impact someone has had on you until they're gone, sometimes.
I may not have the tools at my disposal to do a proper intaglio piece, but I can still make a book or a linocut, in her honor.
Jody, you left a bright spot in the heart of a jaded cynic who had no real business going to school for art. You were a real one. And everyone who ever met you knew it.
#april rambles#text post#grief#i feel awful that i didn't keep in touch but she was always busy and such and you know me#didnt diminish the effect she had on me#a genuine positivity and encouraging nature that was so needed and so welcome#while also being critical and helpful#she was the ultimate no judgment zone#I'm genuinely tearing up I was hoping to cross paths with her again#its been so long and I still have notes and projects from her classes#she was so loved by everyone#I'm naming a hoya plant after her that's how important she is#sorry I'm sobbing
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from the touch prompts: 12. on a scar; or 18. because you are dying :>
ty azia!! this one really sent me on a spiral this week adkfd
the pain of perception
pairing: Corisande Ymir/Y'shtola Rhul
word count: 1292 | read on ao3
notes: i went with 18. because you are dying. 5.0 spoilers!
Y’shtola has always found Corisande difficult to look away from, some inexorable pull between them perpetually drawing her gaze. She turned toward them as a blossom sought the sun, unfurling in their light and basking in the warmth of it. Even when Y’shtola lost her sight and the world lost its color, Corisande’s familiar aether was more than enough to draw her in, their countenance so dear to her that it hardly took any effort at all to pick out their features.
In the grand entrance hall of Emet-Selch’s recreated Capitol building, the light Corisande emanates is not the kind Y’shtola wants to bask in. They are a beacon of aether, so bright they blur the forms of the other Scions gathered around them. So bright the light lingers even when she closes her eyes, a ghostly blur haunting the back of her eyelids.
She watches them as they take their leave of the others and turn toward her, seeking her out as surely as she sought them. They cross the hall, the soft click of their boots growing louder as they approach.
“The others are nearly ready. Ryne only wants to charge a few more cartridges for Thancred before we start on our way,” Corisande says, gesturing at the others over her shoulder, gathered by the door that leads deeper into the building. She lifts her hand, starting to reach for Y’shtola, but stops herself halfway, arm falling stiffly to her side. ‘Tis difficult to make out, but Y’shtola thinks she might be clenching her fist. “I came to see how you fared.”
Y’shtola holds back a sigh, her jaw clenched against the sharp pain in her chest at the aborted gesture. In the three years she’d spent without them on the First, she had so missed the easy physical affection between them. A reassuring squeeze of her wrist, a gentle hand on the small of her back, a soft brush of their thumb across her cheek. Touches she had at times wished Corisande would not make, if only to spare Y’shtola the misery of her endlessly growing feelings.
But she’d been wrong to think it would spare her any pain. Since their reunion—that near disastrous moment when Y’shtola had mistaken them for a sin eater—Corisande has, for the most part, kept a careful physical distance between them. Every deliberate step back, every halted reach for her hand, left her far more hurt and confused than any touch that had ever led her to hope for more.
That they keep their distance even now, when losing themself to the light is becoming less a potential threat and more a rapidly approaching reality with every passing moment, is more than she can bear. She reaches for their hand in their stead, pressing their cool palm to hers. “l have no preparations to make. I will be ready when you are.”
Corisande tips their chin, head tilting down in the direction of their joined hands. Y’shtola holds fast, hope swooping through her stomach, her breath caught in her chest as she waits. But rather than pull away, they squeeze her hand, and the ache in Y’shtola’s chest is eased as she finally exhales.
Corisande lifts her head in Y’shtola’s direction, her familiar features—the heart shape of her lips, the curve of her nose, her downturned eyes—just as obfuscated by the light as the rest of her body. There was a time that Y’shtola could have known what Corisande was thinking just by a simple shared glance. Now, though she could make her best guess, she could never be sure what was written in their expression. What Y’shtola might give to see the curve of Corisande’s gentle smile once more, before they venture toward a battle that could change her forever.
Y’shtola glances down at their hands, still pressed palm to palm between them. Corisande had not shied from one touch—perhaps she would not shy from another.
Do as your heart decrees, Y’shtola had told them, only moments ago. Without hesitation or regret.
Y’shtola raises her free hand to Corisande’s cheek, heartbeat a loud, steady rhythm as she moves. They lean down ever so slightly to meet her, their hair falling over her arm, the ends of it brushing lightly against her sleeve. She stills when their fingers wrap gently around her wrist, thinking they mean to tug her hand away, but they simply hold on.
“Is it difficult? To look at me? To—” Corisande’s grip on her wrist tightens. Their voice is soft, almost fragile to Y’shtola’s ears. “I know the toll a surfeit of aether takes on you. It must be exhausting just to have me near.”
“‘Tis not easy,” Y’shtola admits, though it pains her to say it. Corisande knows the truth already—the abundance of their aether is difficult for Y’shtola to process with her aether-fueled sight—and Y’shtola would not lie to her besides.
Worse than the harsh glare of their aether, though, is the damage the light has wrought on their soul, battered and bruised as it struggles to contain the light. For all the distance that Corisande has kept between them these past few weeks, they could not hide the depth of the wound from Y’shtola. While she knew Corisande would prefer it, Y’shtola saw no kindness in pretending otherwise—she would not turn from them when they were in pain, no matter how much it hurt to see.
Y’shtola sweeps her thumb across the swell of Corisande’s cheek, and hopes she’s looking her in the eye when she speaks again. “But I would no sooner look away than I would leave you to face what lies ahead alone.”
Corisande’s smile blooms under Y’shtola’s palm—cheek curving upward, the quirk in the corner of their lips where they’ve turned into her touch, the crinkle of skin around their eyes—and she answers with a warm smile of her own. Corisande sweeps a finger across the inside of her wrist, and after weeks—years—of so little contact between them, the deliberate touch feels monumental, as much a relief to the longing inside her as it is a catalyst for a desperate desire for more.
“Shtola,” they say, the newly restored warmth in their voice reigniting that flame of hope in her. The one that made her long for Corisande’s soft touches, that made her think Corisande has always felt about her the way she feels about them, the one that never quite went out. “I—”
They cut off with a soft whimper of pain, lurching forward with a grimace. Their grip clamps down sharply where they hold Y’shtola, fingers digging into her wrist and the back of her hand, and she feels the hold as if it were a vice around her heart, pressed under the weight of their pain. The light inside them surges, brightening and straining against their soul as Corisande struggles to stay on their feet, and then it fades.
“Are you all right?” Y’shtola asks, keeping her tone neutral though she feels anything but, unable to even blink away the image of the surging light. Corisande straightens, her expression smoothing beneath Y’shtola’s hand.
“Well enough,” she answers between breaths, her voice thin. She squeezes Y’shtola’s wrist, then gently tugs her hand away from her face, though she does not completely release her. “Perhaps we had better be on our way.”
“Of course.” Y’shtola expects Corisande to drop her hands, but they hold on to one as they pivot, placing themself at her side.
The door that will lead them to Emet-Selch looms before them, the others still gathered in front of it. Whatever they face beyond it, whatever Corisande’s heart decrees, Y’shtola would not turn her gaze. They would face it together—perhaps not hand in hand, but side by side.
#kels writes#xiv fic#corishtola#this really took hold of me this week so i hope. y'all like it akldjfasd#its wild how this moment did not exist in my brain til like 5 days ago and now it is so important for me that this happened#before the battle and before their first kiss#also i love writing shtola dialogue bc my process is sometimes like#here's the nice thing to say. the thing that in another romance the person would probably say. and here are all the reasons shtola would no#say that. she would just say!! the truth! and cori would know that and be fine with that. yes it hurts to look at cori. yes in my other fic#she's mad at cori. but she's gonna look and she's gonna love cori anyway.#ANYWAY. will stop the commentary now i just have a lot of feelings 😭#shadowbringers spoilers#idk why i feel nervous about this one okay. bye
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hm hm hm i feel like this will be really interesting to read with the knowledge of korra and how that effected her instead.... because korra (from my limited knowledge so i could be talking out my ass here) knew she was the avatar at an early age and DID get that community. she had katara and her parents, she had her mentors, she was isolated from the real world during so and perfected the elements other than air (which i kinda recall her struggling with and how its the opposite element of earth so im excited to see if those kinda play out :3) and she was more eager to be the avatar and the excitement and significance it brought (which was a bit clouded by her being sheltered but also would have been expected more before the war impacted things)
i also remember matty saying kyoshi struggled with earth bending (which im super excited to get to and see/see her journey and how it will differ) but!!! i just think its really fun how theyre kinda off the bat setting up this expectation and new grounding for readers who have a past grasp of the avatar universe. even as someone who isnt super familiar with the lore, i know enough to recognize that oh! thats something new!! so just kudos to the writer(s?) for just setting this up to be something very different and in a natural way :3
#again. talking out my ass here. if im an idiot no one say anything okay? okay <3#but i think its fun to already see some parallels or ways kyoshi and korra are different or similar#and how korra got the set-up stage that was considered ideal (i think?) for these two characters#like !!! the avatar is supposed to know theyre the avatar at a young age!#and aang learning when he was 12 instead?? i think?#or being told hey man you gotta fucking get ready/do your teen duties instead of preeteen ones cause theres a war....#but no sorry my head is scattered i cant keep a line of thought but the point was i know a lot of people bash korra because shes too#‘abrasive’ or comfortable with being the avatar when?? for previous experiences that eagerness was something more expected (i think)#like its so difficult to make a solid grounding argument when im not lore caught up but korras excitement to be the avatar and that she#knows its significant and important is something that would been encouraged before the war because of that hope and belief#that the avatar will keep that balance or save the world when others cant. aang disappearing and the genocide and war#obviously effected how people will see the avatar in universe and how her teachers are more hesitant and restrictive#none of this makes sense im just thinkin to myself while half distracted lol but ! go cringegirl bosses go !!!!#RoK (ransom style)
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ik normally we talk about situations like what shubble opened up about, we wanted to take time to think through everything especially because of how upsetting the topic is to us personally. as of now, we do agree that signs point to wilbur so we wont support him and we encourage others to not support him during this time and especially not actively defend him.
but we dont want to make a big deal out of not supporting him so focus can be on shubble and people learning how to see signs of abuse. we're already not very active due to our own recent experience with a traumatizing friendship (we hesitate to really call it abuse yet) but regarding that experience and others weve had we can focus on another big part of shubbles stream: educating others about the signs of abuse. so we want to use the rest of this post to talk about that
abusers will be everywhere and anywhere. yes there will be more in this community, but youll find them no matter where you go and there will be abusers in your personal life as well, whether you end up being abused or someone you know does. theres abusers who are "obvious", who scream and yell and hit. and theres abusers who are charismatic, who will be supportive and funny and yet passive aggressive and backstabbing. and theres abusers who will be quiet and cold and manipulative. and theres abusers who fall into multiple "categories" because theyre complex people just like anyone else and thats why abuse can happen to everyone. because abusers can be anyone.
dont get yourself caught up in how "theyre such a good person", dont get yourself caught up in thinking abuse could never happen to you. if you find yourself in a situation where communication doesnt work, where the other person hurts you over and over and doesnt show signs of getting better, where you keep finding ways to blame yourself and defend them (especially if you find yourself thinking that you deserve how they treat you), where youre scared of them and how theyd react if you told them so, where when you tell them you dont like how they treat you they dismiss you and start treating you worse, look into how to get out of there.
and know that it will take a while. that abuse is hard to get away from. that sometimes youll be trapped for a long time and sometimes youll relapse and defend them even after youve realized theyre abusive. and there will be people who support your abuser over you and people who will hate you and believe your abuser over you. and there will be people who support you but will still support your abuser too for whatever reason. and there will be people who support you fullheartedly and care for you and help you even if it takes you a long time to find them.
abuse is complex. "good people" can be abusive. no matter the fandom, no matter the community, no matter the when who where how why there will always be abusers around. no matter where you go or who you talk to there will always be some case of abuse. the important thing is to educate yourself.
learn about tactics like DARVO (deny, attack, reverse [the roles of] victim and offender), keep notes of the hotlines and organizations about abuse. keep the discussion of how to spot abuse and support the victims open. and always, always, keep more affection in your heart for victims than you do hate for abusers. make yourself someone who can be confided in and trusted to not take advantage of that trust.
and remember: if youre a victim yourself, its okay if you didnt do everything "right". its okay if your feelings keep changing, its okay if you were an asshole victim, its okay if you didnt see the signs even when others pointed them out to you, its okay if you did things "wrong". abuse is hard to sort through and what matters is not whether you "provoked" them, its that they had the power to hurt you and get away with it and they used it, over and over. and thats horrible and what you deserve is to get out and to be able to speak about it without getting hurt for it.
if shubble's story and others like hers resonate with you, tell people. it doesnt have to be public. in most cases it shouldnt be. tell people who you can trust in private and get the support you need so that when youre able and ready to you can get out. and know that there are people like you and even if you feel alone right now you wont be forever
#all the peace and care to shubble. we saw the vod seems to be deleted and we hope shes doing okay right now#critter calls#mostly pres but not just me sooo overall system tag#would say sorry for the long post but we arent really sorry. its an important topic#for the record we dont support how far some people have gone with speculation#we saw people on twt making full fucking timelines and sharing screenshots of shubbles deleted reddit post#dont fucking do that. all the information shubble could share on the matter was in the stream#dont pry any more into their life more than they shared#we have the information we need to know that it was likely wilbur but thats all. and if shubble says that she isnt saying names for-#-reasons outside of just not wanting to then.. i dont think its good or safe for her for people to keep prying#we dont even like the speculation that brought us to believing its wilbur#not because we believe wilbur couldnt do something like this (anyone could) but because#we know we would hate people prying into our life to find out the details about our abuse
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George establishing Sansa as an unreliable narrator and then making her the only POV observing one of the biggest schemers in the books is actually so big-brained.
#him saying there's going to be a more important lapse in memory from her in the future...he's really cooking!#there's so much he could do with it and I wonder how far he's going to explore that concept#I think LF is going to get at least one big scheme off in TWOW and it'll be interesting to reread Sansa's chapters to see the hints of it#this is why her not thinking about SW's death doesn't mean she isn't aware of it...she rewrites things and ignores what's uncomfortable#so yes she knows but she just isn't thinking about it cause she's still following LF's plan#but what he told her is likely a cover story for his real intentions...also he /might/ have influenced Sansa on the Tourney#and that could be something that's another step in his actual plans#there are just so many ways that plot could go and we really have no idea cause it was cut from the show#hope we get to see it play out someday 🙏🏾
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-“Just a flower, in the middle of the field at night, a light is turned on and reveals.. A day arriving with confident hope and silent happiness!”🌹🐝
#for those who didn't get it.. today is my birthday! and so tomorrow is really the day of the party and etc..#that's why I put “arriving” because tomorrow is a really special and very important event in my life akzbskhzjsb#and yes. I'm cosplaying as princess bela. she's one of my favorite characters and her dress.. It's literally a dream come true for me!#because I'm really going to use one similar to this one tomorrow irl and-#I won't tell you guys more details because it's personal things but- well. that's a little explain of what the art is about!#I really feel very happy.. and I admit. I don't even know how to explain my happiness but.. well...#I feel special. surrounded by people who *really* love me and show true affection for me and..#that I just have to thank. for everything. I have gratitude for all of you! like- thank you very much. really. for everything..#I can't even express in words how grateful I am for each of you#know that I love and appreciate everyone who is still with me on this journey called life!#and of course- I couldn't forget to talk about him lol. thanks to mike!#I don't know what would have become of me if I hadn't met someone as friendly and good-hearted as him#he was always by my side and made me feel more special in every day. in a unique way and one of the most important to me..#I love him very much/p. and I hope that our friendship will be forever happy and respectful the way it already is!#(of course. this also works for the other friends I made here too- please don't get mad or jealous! I love you all. okay??)#and well.. that's it.#I hope I still stay here. that I enjoy my day and face any fear or harm that I might have ahead of me and..#that I just hope for the best. I put everything in God's hands and I feel confident that things will work out no matter what the cost!#thank you guys again for everything and happy birthday to me lol-💛#happy birthday to me#it's my birthday#mel creator#mel loly#cosplaying of beauty and the beast#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art mel#art#my art#my oc character
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