#i honestly dont even bother anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

julitatas · 3 months

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ok FINE i'll give him some clothes geez 🙄🙄

(nobody asked)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #fanart #hazbin husk #hazbin angel dust #huskerdust #angelhusk #angel in comfy clothes >>>#i have a vendetta against husks wings #i honestly dont even bother anymore #THAT DOES NOT MEAN I DONT LOVE MY GRUMPY OLD MAN OR HIS DESIGN

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westywallowing · 1 year

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the thing that really gets me about ocd is that you can have obsessive thoughts about ANYTHING. and that shit will keep you up at night no matter how tired you are bcuz it's all your brain will think about. close ur eyes and u can see it like it taped to the back of your eyelids

#like i gotta be up in less than 5 hours can i please. catch a break #and the best part!! is that sometimes the things your brain is looped on dont bother you in the moment #like earlier when you initially saw or heard about or thought about the thing #but guess what- its later now and youre sleepy now and sleepy brains dont care about things the way awake ones do #or sometimes care way too much #i honestly can hardly watch shows anymore for lengths at a time becauee then my brain will start to latch onto it #so even when im tired and want to sleep i will not stop thinkint about it #like ughhjjfjfkgkgk #thank u for coming to my ted talk #westy's shit #ocd

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faunabel · 2 months

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lays down

i think aph italy is my special interest

i could talk abt him for hours.... just sit and analyze canon for hours........

i am not well (but it does spark joy)

#( 💭 faun thinks )#so embarrassing honestly but i dont even bother trying to hide my obsession anymore #we r all obsessive on this website

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junkartie · 7 months

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Idk if this is a shitty country thing or turkey thing but am i insane or does all the junk food and snacks here taste like NOTHING. Every chocolate bar is dry and tastes the same. All the cakes are soggy AND DRY and taste the same. All cookies taste the same. All ice-creams taste slightly off and artificial. Theres like 3 flavors of chips ever and pringles got taken away because theyre too expensive to buy. We havent had 1 new mcdonalds or burger king item since like 2018. Its driving me insane. Everything is so lackluster. Everything is filled with artificial flavors because the government cant afford milk. Im losing my mind. I remember last year i visited Denmark again and i was gobsmacked that they had so many snacks that actually TASTED like something. Living in a corrupt non developing country makes minuscule things so depressing. I know this is the least of my worries but god i sometimes want to ram my head in the wall because everything tastes like cardboard or pure syrup

#oh jay but [insert item] is good!#yeah i mean a few things are bound to be good but in general #i dont even bother buying anything anymore #i cant stand it #im just ranting honestly #this is one of the many reasons i haVE to leave #everything being the same or worse for the past 5 years is driving me insane #and its 10x the price #LET ME OUT OF HERE

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illogicalghost · 4 months

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#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts #personal #so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right #idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian #but now im like more sure than ever #i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be #i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i #understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence #i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore #the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience #but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair #anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings #and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!

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milkweedman · 2 years

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[image description: an ask by @arbrehoux that says “Hi! I’m just getting into spinning, and I wanted to ask how to finish off the yarn once you’ve spun all you want. I’ve tried googling it, but every website I look at skips straight from the actual spinning to soaking. I’m using a drop spindle, if that’s relevant.” end image description]

soaking usually IS the way to finish yarn ! i'll give you the best step by step i can though (and for future reference, this applies to pretty much every single spinning method, so you can do this with yarns spun on a spinning wheel, a supported spindle, a drop spindle, a navajo spindle, a charkha wheel, or whatever else you might encounter. it's all yarn, so it can all be finished the same way.)

step 0: if you plan on plying your yarn, do it before finishing. you don't need to finish singles if you plan to ply them. finishing relaxes the yarn, so if you finish a singles and then ply it, it will end up being somewhat limp unless you overply it (which makes yarn less elastic and more rough) but if you spun a singles and want it to remain a singles, never to be plied, then you can certainly finish it as a singles.

step 1: remove the yarn from your spindle (or bobbin, or whatever it is on) and wrap it around something as it comes off. a niddy noddy is great for this, but not necessary. you can wrap your yarn around a big hardcover book or the back of a chair, or whatever. when taking yarn off a drop spindle, i usually just toss the spindle on the ground and let it roll around as I wind the yarn off. if you’re worried about it catching on something, put the drop spindle in a box or mixing bowl instead and let it roll around in there.

[image description: a somewhat blurry closeup of a tattooed man’s hands. in his right hand he’s holding a hardcover book. in his left he’s wrapping yarn around the book lengthwise. a red line has been drawn in to show the path of the yarn as he winds. end image description]

step 2: tie your yarn off. you can use the messy looking ends of the yarn if you wish, or another piece of yarn or string. just tie a simple knot around the hank. you want at least two knots, but if you're really worried about it tangling, you can do more. the purpose of tying your yarn off is to stop it from tangling in the next steps, to make it easier to work with when you wind it into a ball or cake later, and to keep it looking tidy.

[image description: a closeup of the yarn on the book from the previous image. a knot has been tied around all the strands of yarn on that side. there is a red arrow pointing to the knot. end image description]

step 2.5: if you want to know your yardage or meterage, this is the time to do so. first, count how many strands you have. second, measure how many inches or centimeters it takes to span the entire length of the book (so, front, back, and the width of both the top and bottom). In this case I think it was 8 strands and 24 inches for the whole book. that means the whole yarn is 192 inches (8x24=192) and the yardage is 5.3 (192/36=5.3). same steps if it’s centimeters and meters, of course. also, if you’re thinking “wow, I have to measure whatever i’m winding my yarn on every time ? that sounds annoying”, then you’re seeing why niddy noddys are so helpful and you should get or make one. my niddy noddy takes 2 yards to span it, meaning whenever i wind yarn on, after counting it i can just multiply my result by 2 and know how many yards i have (if i have 100 strands and i know each strand spans 2 yards, that means my whole skein is 200 yards. so much simpler.)

step 3: soak your yarn. or just get it wet. i usually run my yarn under the tap for a few seconds to make sure it is fully wet, but you can also put it in a bowl with some water and make sure it's fully submerged. leave it there for a few minutes.

step 3.5: if your yarn isn't very soft and you want it to be softer, you can add conditioner (just like, the normal stuff you use for your hair) to the bowl before you put the yarn in to soak. if you're softening it this way, leave it in the bowl of water for at least an hour, or even overnight. when you take it out, rinse it briefly. this step is only necessary if you want your yarn softer.

step 4 (optional): go outside and snap your yarn like a whip a few times. this evens out twist and flicks a lot of the water off, so it will dry faster too. if your yarn has some spots that are really undertwisted or overtwisted or both, this is a good way to help reduce that and make more evenly plied.

step 5: let your yarn dry completely. in the summer i hang my yarn over the clothesline, and in the winter i usually put it over a heating vent. doesn't matter how you do it. remember that wool in particular can feel dry even when it has a fair amount of water in it, so don't grab it the second it feels dry--give it a while longer to actually dry.

you should notice that your yarn looks different now that it's dry. if it's wool, it's likely puffed up some (to varying degrees depending on the breed of animal it came from, as well as whether it was roving or a batt or a rolag or whatever else, and also depending on how you spun it. it's a cool thing to pay attention to.)

step 6: skein your yarn. pick up the hank and drape it over your thumb or hand or whatever. the vast majority of yarns will twist a little in one direction when you do this, from residual twist. some yarns will twist a lot, others only barely. note the direction that it twists in--to the left or to the right. put your other thumb at the other end of the hank, and start twisting one thumb in the opposite direction that your hank twisted in. i usually twist with one thumb until i can't easily twist it anymore, and then twist with the other thumb. your nice loop should now look kind of like a piece of rope, with your thumbs still hooked into each end.

[image description: the first image shows the yarn hooked over each thumb, with two twists in the middle. the second image shows that same yarn, which now has so much twist it looks like rope. his thumbs are still hooked into each end. end image description]

you now want to find the center point of your ‘rope’ and fold it there. your ‘rope’ should kind of snap into place, looking like a much larger version of a 2 ply yarn. it’s nice and stable like this, and can be transported or stored easily (plus it’s pretty !). the last step is to take one of the loops you had your thumb in and push it through the other loop. this stops it from unraveling.

btw: the reason we twist it the opposite direction that it wants to turn is the same reason we ply in the opposite direction that we spin. if you spin Z and ply Z your yarn isn’t going to be structurally sound, and it’ll look pretty bad, too. when it comes to skeining you’re not adding any structural stability to the actual yarn, but the looks still matter--if your Z plied yarn is twisted Z while skeining, your skein will be limp and lifeless and not very pretty. if it’s twisted S, it’ll be nice and balanced and neat looking. it’s purely an aesthetics thing, but it also only takes half a second to figure out, so why not do it ?

and you’re done ! your yarn is now finished and skeined, and you know the yardage/meterage. you can label it with all relevant info if you want (for example: 4 ounces shetland roving, 2 ply, 350 yards, light worsted weight, finished august 2022, spun on a wheel)

#sorry this isnt an ask anymore #i somehow corrupted the original post by adding images and then saving it as a draft to work on later #idk... tumblr.#anyway those pictures are from a little video i made that im now somewhat too embarassed to post #although if this doesn't make sense and seeing it in video form would be helpful lmk and ill just link it anyway #it has to be a youtube video bc its too big to post on tumblr normally even after trying to condense it so #anyway sorry this took a while to answer ! it's hard to put most fiber instructions into words #spinning #handspun yarn #drop spindle #tutorial #also im not gonna go into shrinkage bc honestly i like to pretend it isn't a thing so that it doesnt mess up my yardage measuring #but if it immediately pops off the book/niddy noddy/whatever and looks way smaller that means your yarn is definitely shorter #than the actual yardage. calculating how long it really is while still using the same tools is rly hard #so i dont bother. you can minimize shrinkage by wrapping very loosely and not pulling on the yarn or putting it #under any tension as you wind. thats what i do with yarns when i really NEED to know the actual yardage #such as for a specific project or if i want to sell it #anyway yeah !

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mayadoesfandomstuff · 1 year

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As much as DSMP definitely sucked near the end because of inactivity, miscommunication, and especially irl controversies, I think one of the saddest things to learn from behind the scenes was how much passion from all the other CCs about their characters, stories, and lore was pretty much ignored by those who they had to rely on — the other CCs.

It's so heart-wrenching not only as an outsider fan who learns that the very thing you loved and invested your time on was something not seen as that important by the ones behind it, but also as an insider fellow creator who's trying their hardest to have your ideas noticed to become at least something.

Hearing how some of the creators did try to make lore and how nothing came from it and how the scripts channel became more inactive as time went on and how sometimes some of these CC's questions or requests for anyone to help them with lore barely had any replies or none at all is just fucked up.

We don't know the entire story behind the scenes. I don't pretend to know and I don't want to speculate besides from what we actually know from what other CCs had said, but it's just so sad.

#mayaposts #mcyt #dsmp #dream smp #dsmp neg #dream smp neg #neg #imagine joining a group of people to have fun with a funky little story and to be dramatic little theatre kids #only to learn that a lot of them don't want to engage with your ideas and don't want to play anymore #at that point why even bother ya know?#i wont be surprised if a lot of ccs dont join dsmp 2 bc of this bc honestly things sound awful

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maudlin-scribbler · 7 months

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why is intercting with people so hard . Why is life so hard in general.

#Corin's lore #I asked [insert friend's name] if she wants to meet up and she still hasn't answered my text.#Which doesnt bother me. She probably hasnt seen it or cant answer me atm.#But a part of me worries she is avoiding me and hates me or something. Or just doesnt want to idk anymore man.#Idk i just wanna hang out with her. Life isnt very good right now and I havent seen her in about a week and i miss her.#School is hell and i like talking to her and making her happy bcs it helps me ignore my own stuff.#I know shes also busy and shit with school but also it rarely takes her this long to answer my texts so idk #And im not calling her. Im very ackward on the phone #Im in my own personal hell.#I just want her to tell me if we can meet up this weekend or nah!!!!#Will probably delete this later idk #And im also yet again doing my homework and studying at night. Go me! (sarcasm)#Especially since i have to study for history and geography and i literally have a test at latin tomorow(i wanna do VERY well on the test +#+since i love latin and the teqcher and i dont wanna dissapoint her but honestly when ill even study??#My life sucks!!!!!!!

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dreamsy990 · 1 year

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love how free spotify used to be like "heres two ads and now heres 30 mintues of song" and now its "heres five ads and one (1) song". love how i cant play the one song i want. love how i would probably be better off using any other service but the desktop version is good enough that ill put up with the terrible mobile version that barely qualifies as a music service.

#i listen to spotify on the bus. its a roughly 40 minute ride.#ive counted; i get an average of 9 FUCKING ADS.#THATS 4.5 MINUTES OF ADS. thats not how MATH WORKS SPOTIFY.#the bus ride home is slightly shorter and you know how many songs i get to listen to?#2.#2 whole songs #i dont MIND ads #im FINE with ads honestly #im one of the few people i know who'll at least OCCASIONALLY listen to full ads instead of skipping them #but this is fucking absurd #its only the mobile version too #the desktop version is what free spotify SHOULD be #it functions just about how you'd expect a music service to work #except you get ads every 30 minutes or so #which is!!! reasonable!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but the mobile version is practically unusable #i cant even look at whats on other peoples playlists anymore #its like theyre trying to ANNOY people into paying for premium #they cant even be BOTHERED to make it passable for people who cant buy it for one reason or another #sorry for ranting this just bothers me SO MUCH #why do i use spotify

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neverdoingmuch · 8 months

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gonna be honest,, the worst people in fandom are those like 17-20 year olds w/ big blogs,,, all the clout and none of the common sense

#legal talks #all of the doxxing and harassment has been carried out by young people who've had the follower count to do real damage #but dont have any of the logic/experience/common sense to actually think through the shit they do #there's always like one or two in each fandom ive been in and it's never gone well #honestly i dont even bother following them anymore bc i know their good posts will filter through and i dont have to deal with their shit #at least this is my experience lol

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ozymoron · 9 months

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mothers when you tell them you're struggling and need help will be like "no you're not <3"

#⚠️#personal #vent #welp guess im fine now! thanks mum!! :D #jesus fucking christ #last time i ever reach out to her honestly i dont even know why i bother anymore #''youre not struggling with eating! just eat more!'' is basically what she told me

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luvmequmi · 11 months

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well that sucks

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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years

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#...... i think too its not just that im bony #its all the new cuts too #...this is the first time after uhhh. round 2 of taking things way too far that ive seen myself. alone. naked. in a coldly lit changing #room #like #fuck #we really did a number on this body #ive been joking for a long time that i look like an okapi or a zebra but like... damn #idk they dont bother me. they never have #im not grosses out by them or even ashamed nor do i even think theyre ugly honestly. but #along with all the bones i just had this feeling of like. oh lol this aint normal. again like..... I looked like A Creature #which on one hand kinda sick bc slightly nonhuman looking half dead but still beautiful but kinda scary creature is exactly what i was #going for in my teen years. and w the meds ive achieved it with 0 severe anorexic stress or obsession or even feeling hunger basically at #all. just empty #but im...older now #and. yea idk if that's really the standard i have anymore #.......what i see now is just. wear. i see my pain and trauma and my souls repeted death. in the way this flesh looks #..... i think back then i used to get a lot more enjoyment out of having a physical representation of how bad im doing psychologically #but i just. dont enjoy my own pain and suffering that much anymore lmao. even i managed to get fed up with the masochism past a certain #point #..... and i think its also that. while im definitely not great (i did spend the last weeks to months posting on here abt how i wanna die #every day lmao) ive also been A LOT worse #all the scars are from... a lot worse. all the bones - i usually only saw them like this when i was a lot worse #..... its almost like idk. looking at it (me) with more sober eyes #.....i hate how tired i look too #i really need to quit smokiny #that shits doing me worse than the not eating or the cutting or any other damn thing

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flower-zombie-rob · 1 year

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Vent in tags

#tw vent #i sometimes debate just giving up on art #or barely bothering honestly #the problem im having is that i just dont gets notes anymore. and this isnt a boo hoo no attention woe is me thing #this is a thing with my confidence now because i'm having issues. i used ti get almost 90 notes per drawing and people used to luke my art #but nowadays i barely crack 40 with a self reblog and thats in the case of leaving the post for a few days because in the first circulation #my posts dont even break 20-30 notes anymore. it feels like people have lost intrest in what i have to sgare and that hurts a little. i #thought my art was really improving with my lineart and my pose drawing but it just feels like no ones interested in my art. people dont #share it anymore #people dont want it anymore. and it really makes me wonder what the point is. and i dont mean to be like Boo who woe is me i mean the #fandoms I draw for don't want me to make content for them anymore despite a growing follower base. Occasionally I try going back and #Drawing the characters and the concepts that captivated people at first and boosted my notes. I tried drawing the ships that people liked #The first time around I tried roaring the same characters that people gave hundreds of notes when I first drew them. But no matter what I #Try I just can't recapture the same love that people seemed to have at some point for my art which has just dipped off over the year.

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our-lady-of-mcr · 29 days

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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

#self #for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school #and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt #trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house #for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO #and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time #i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it #is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication #which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it #but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can #and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar #but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely #on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment #her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way #i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to #hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very #honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer #regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend #i am not the person who put that shit in your folder #though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is #and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building #that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months #yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you #AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not #im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that #shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything #so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything

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drewsaturday · 1 month

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shame is such a wild concept to me because i just think that if you are a certain way or you're inclined to certain things or you are just happiest doing xyz, you shouldn't have any real reason to repress any of that as long as ur not hurting anyone. bc if ur not hurting anyone, the only reason you'd need to repress yourself is to avoid judgement from people who probably aren't very happy with the way they're living anyway.

#txt #honestly like even when i catch myself judging certain things im like...........#why bother doing that though ...........#what will that accomplish compared to this person's genuine feelings #either they just dont talk to me authentically anymore or they repress it and they're unhappy or they just #live however the fuck they want and i'd rather everyone get to do that as long as no one's getting hurt #obvs there's a level of filtering for every situation but you can do that without also having to be ashamed of urself #(i do say this as someone who does live in shame for many things!#and this is what i am trying to get to about it all lmao)

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