the nun and the soldier

A/N; I ACTUALLY DREAMED ABOUT THIS AND THOUGHT LOL WHAT A GOOD IDEA FOR AN OS

Pairing; "[REDACTED]" x AFAB!Reader

CW; cnc? for someone who doesnt know how to put limits the line is very blurry, you will guess / daddy kink but in a priestly way / def religion kink, breeding but im not sure if its just a kink, worship but im not sure who worships who the most / this is more like an au like 1940 battlefield where [REDACTED] is a soldier and MC a nun

The night was like a classic old horror movie scene.

And how not to be scared? Outside the cathedral it was raining heavily, the skies were roaring from the electrical storm and the only lighting was the holy candles, that place was a refuge for the homeless.

After all, many people needed comfort in times of war.

You had decided to stay until midnight, praying to your father to protect the soldiers in battle, that the families would stop going hungry, you held the wooden cross that hung from your chest so tightly, begging for the massacre to stop, the times They brought sadness to the entire nation and God had to save them.

A loud clap of thunder echoed outside the cathedral and the doors were opened, the cold of the night and the wind caused the flame of some candles to go out, so holding the cross tightly to your chest you turned to see who dared to break in. with such violence in the house of God.

"Who's there?" You asked as you walked towards the huge wooden gate.

A man in uniform walked in, soaked from the rain, he looked tired, hungry, hurt, he barely made eye contact with you you felt a chill run through your entire body, not just because of the weather.

"I need food" He was a soldier, you nodded immediately and helped him walk to take a seat on one of the benches while you went to the warehouse for something the man could eat, there was food stored that was going to be donated, or that's what the priest said.

You returned with canned food and some water for the stranger, who snatched your things to eat like a dying dog, water running down his chin and eating haphazardly as he breathed heavily.

"Sir, are you okay? Where is he coming from?" You didn't avoid being curious when asking those questions, although just one cold look from him was enough to make you close your mouth.

…

You only heard him chewing, the man seemed to have had a really bad time and it was no wonder that you could tell from miles away that he was a soldier, and since he came alone, there was a high probability that he was one of the few survivors in the trenches, but you are not going to assume too much.

"Father, please help this poor man to heal his wounds safely, to regain his strength, to protect his life on the battlefield and the lives of our nation -…"

"Stop talking shit" he interrupted you in a vulgar way, causing astonishment on your face, even disgust.

"That is no way to speak before the lord" You scolded him, the black-haired man only laughed hoarsely.

"Bring me clothes, I'm freezing in this" he demanded arrogantly, getting rid of his wet clothes, your kind soul heeded his words, because that's what you were, right? A sweet nun willing to help the needy, love your neighbor as your god ordered.

"Excuse me, I only found the priest's old clothes and I'm not sure they fit him, I hope they can help you" You said as you returned to the bench, he once again snatched the things from your hand.

Yes, he was a rude man.

The minutes passed, the candles continued to melt at the altar, you were praying in front of the golden statue of your lord while the soldier was resting on the benches, grunting at his wounds and trying to stay warm.

"Hey, nun, since you won't shut up come here, I think I know how you could keep that mouth busy" The man suggested with a cheeky smile, it was unheard of how he could say such things in the lord's house.

"Hey! That's enough of-…"

"It wasn't a question, come here or I'll come for you" his voice was sharp, and with no intention of continuing to listen to you, seeing how you froze in surprise he grumbled and took the trouble to walk towards you.

Right in front of the golden statue of your god, he subdued you to the ground and lifted your robe to reveal your underwear, that man was shameless because he simply buried his face between your asscheeks to inhale deeply.

"HEY! HEY" WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" You begged him, confusion and disgust replaced with terror, but… he was a soldier, a man willing to sacrifice his life for his nation.

"Please, honey, aren't you supposed to be a helpful sweetheart? You promised to help me stay warm, and this is my last dinner before I die?" He murmured on your back, riding you without a word, his hands had already pulled down your underwear while you were busy in your thoughts.

"Oh my god, this can't be happening, I'm supposed to stay pure" You whimpered as you covered your face, too embarrassed by the situation but not trying to push the man away.

He was an angel sent by god to save the country, it would be so rude to reject any order he gave.

He ground his hips against yours in a messy manner, he hadn't even prepared you well when your pussy was already engulfing his cock.

"Wow, you're so tight, so it's true that nuns are virgins, right? I feel so lucky to be the one to take your chastity, dear." His voice was teasing in your ear as you squeezed your eyes shut to endure the sudden intrusion, you were Pretty sure you would bleed.

No one would pass by the cathedral at that time of night, much less in a storm, the clicking of both skins echoed in the enormous building, right in the eyes of your lord.

"P-please forgive me Father for I have sinned, forgive me so much" A hand grabbed your jaw to silence you.

"You better ask thanks to the Lord because you will soon have a son, I will take care of filling this pretty pussy of yours to the brim, okay, angel?" He mocked your prayers but the seriousness in his voice was immaculate, he really wanted to impregnate your womb with his seed.

Your legs were shaking as you tried to stay in the doggy position, the soldier was selfish, penetrating your wet cunt for the sole purpose of having his release and getting you pregnant.

"S-sir please slow down, I feel like you're going to break me" You begged, snot slipping out of your nose as well as tears at how disastrous the situation was, the problem wasn't that the man was using you, because he was part of the brave army that risked his life, it is logical that you want to help.

"... We shouldn't be doing this in the Father's house." Sob quietly, your body reacted so well to his touch and it was inevitable not to moan, causing echoes in the cathedral.

"No, no, angel, call me father, you don't want your lord to hear you acting like a slut in his holy home." His calloused hands squeezed your hips and he pulled you like a wolf would its prey towards its nest.

"My god, angel, you feel so good, I'm melting between your walls, I want to spill all my essence inside you, you're being so good for me, I promise you it will feel better" He whispered lovingly despite the furious thrusts. that you received. "Don't worry, this is what your god wants, right? Demigods are worshiped with flowers, real gods need blood." His tone felt so somber, his hand traveled to your crotch to caress, collecting said blood, your blood.

So if he died on the battlefield, he would at least have left his inheritance in the world and he wouldn't be completely forgotten, right? His greedy hands ran over every inch of your skin under your tunic, squeezing the flesh, he too seemed inexperienced too, moaning and letting out incoherencies as he ground his groin against you, saliva running down his jaw as he moaned like a dog, panting, his eyes rolling back, sharper sounds until you both trembled violently.

Just as he said, you were dripping, as soon as a mirror cascade came out of you and warm semen was present from your pussy, his member was already a little more flaccid as he observed such a work of art in front of him.

He didn't want to die, he wanted this stupid war to end so he could get this nun pregnant and raise a child together.

"It's okay, you'll be okay" he murmured one last time as he clung to you, taking you into his arms with a blank look, but his words weren't.

He promised that when all that was over he would return to you to take care of you and the baby, that was what he wanted most, a life without daily blood, peace.

It's a shame that the promise would never be fulfilled.

♡

An analysis of the most important scene between Kerubim and Joris.

Aka, Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 7]

While Kerubim does want to help and care for Lilotte, he draws a line at getting Joris into a dangerous situation. He's mad at both of them for this stunt.

Joris isn't a kid who acts out or disobeys that often, so seeing Kerubim this pissed off is... very rare. Especially with that anger directed at him.

To make the argument less severe, he tries to present Kerubim with his new achievements in something that is important to him. So that maybe some semblance of pride for him, will get Kerubim to be less mad.

Kerubim shuts him down without any explanation, despite knowing how important sport is to Joris because the stress of Joris being in danger, and also deciding to be ~rebellious~ on this day of all days, is genuinely frying his brain.

But from Joris's pov, he's just being shitty. Just really shitty.

Yet, it is important to note, that at first, he goes along, and leaves Khan. Joris isn't really rebellious as a person.

Another thing that goes deeply wrong with this argument is Kerubim snapping at Joris's idol. Now, he has basically implied that both one of Joris's main interests, and someone Joris loves and looks up to, are worthless to him.

We know that's not what Kerubim means. Kerubim is terrified, and the terror made him angry at Joris, for scaring him further.

Chances are, when he got home and found nobody, his first thought wasn't that he and Lilotte ran away for boufbowl reasons.

But that devaluation is exactly what Joris hears.

The face journey Kerubim goes on in this shot is very interesting. I really do think Kerubim HATES Joris making up parents. He hates it because he knows the truth, and it hurts him, he hates it because he is his parent, and he hates it because feeling jealous of some imaginary constructs is just pathetic.

But he hasn't really said it out loud because fine, whatever, it's normal for a child to make things up. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean he doesn't think it's stupid, and that it isn't maddening to have this brought up when his mom is hunting them down and might hurt him.

However, Kerubim is a hypocrite:

"Making up stories" is something Kerubim has done for 10 years, and the fact that half of them are redacted, censored, or just actually made up, is something Joris accepts, — even values.

"Rules for thee, but not for me," is how Kerubim sounds while complaining about this.

And he's neglected to, uhhh... read Joris's mind to understand the yet unvoiced truth:

Joris despises many things about the way Kerubim treats him.

He wants Kerubim to stop touching him whenever he wants to, he wants him to stop calling him whatever the hell he wants, and he wants him to stop lying.

He would never say this out loud unless he was this mad, because he knows that it will upset Kerubim, and he doesn't want that, because the man is the only family he has, and he's already depressed.

Kerubim doesn't want him to ever grow up into an adult, become independent, and move out. He likes Joris cute, huggable, "doesn't say no to anything I do to him"-ish, and dependant, because that way, he won't leave Kerubim alone. He isn't exactly subtle about what he wants from Joris, and the only thing Joris can do about this, is just feel angry silently.

This is especially poignant, because we know Joris doesn't look his age, even as a ten-year-old. He gets treated like a small child, both inside and outside his own home.

Joris, of all the people in the whole world, yelling at him, is how Kerubim understands that he fucked up badly. It's over. It's more than over — he didn't just bomb this conversation, he nuked it.

Joris yelling at him is like a canary in a mine dying. He really hurt him this time.

What follows is, quite honestly, one of the most important moments for Joris as a character. These are things he says angrily, just to hurt Kerubim as much as possible, — yet there's a grain of truth to all of this, they are Joris's actual, real thoughts on their life, just wrapped up in anger.

Joris correctly identifies and attacks Kerubim's three biggest insecurities, — Joris leaving him, his own failures as a father, and their relationship being built on lies from the very beginning.

I think Joris has thought a lot on the ethics of their situation. Kerubim isn't his biological father so... who exactly gave him the right to raise Joris in these conditions, and take advantage of him for the sake of not feeling lonely and unwanted? I am sure, these are thoughts Joris chastised himself for, and yet...

This is the worst thing Kerubim has heard in the last ten to twenty years. This is his nightmare scenario. Did he miss all these signs that Joris was thinking these things? He hates himself. He just hates himself.

Joris attacks his weaknesses with a precision only a family member can possess.

This is his worst nightmare. And all he can manage to do is fulfil one of Joris's wishes: call him by his actual name, like an equal.

And he really did try to raise him as an equal. Like a best friend. And he failed. Because that's an unattainable goal.

Tatsuya Endo's Character Commentary from the Official Spy x Family Fanbook English Translation Part 2:

Long post ahead. <<Part 1 here>>

Franky:

(Endo) The model for his character is Mozzie, who is next to the main character of the foreign drama "White Collar". The glasses are also exactly the same. He's a really good character who talks a lot of nonsense, but not a despicable one. It is rare to find a character with a model in "SPY x FAMILY".

This is Mozzie from White Collar, played by the actor Willie Garson.

The stripes on his socks are intended to make him look a little more fashionable, to give him a popular look.

He is well liked by the people from the underground. The tobacco shop is a sort of hideout for Franky, and if he's chased out of there, I think he's got another place and identity. His name "Franky" seems like not his real name too.

Sylvia Sherwood: 

(Endo) The cool big sister superior officer. Big sister...? Her design was inspired by the Paris Collection, or whatever fashion magazine I was looking at. Her glasses, curly hair, and the hat are all a bit too troublesome to draw...

She has the appearance of an independent woman, but in her private life, she is a very sloppy person. She lives in a very dirty room. I may draw that in an extra chapter soon. Her fighting ability is unknown, but it seems she's not that strong. 

Yuri Briar:

(Endo) His visual is exactly like Yor, a male version one. I thought about him having short hair, but it didn't feel right, so I decided to go with my current style. If he doesn't talk, I'm sure he'll be popular (with girls). I wonder if he's interested in anyone other than his sister? 

(Hayashi) I think he's interested in his job?

(Endo) Yuri is certainly a very hardworking and a serious person. He really wants to protect the peace of Ostania, and I think he truly believes that this is for the sake of his sister. After all, she is his sister. He doesn't seem to have any hobbies that involve spending money, and since his taste buds are spoiled, he doesn't seem to eat gourmet food either. 

He thinks Anya is a "despicable little brat". Compared to Franky, he's not used to children, so he competes with them in the same way.

Henry Henderson:

(Endo) Most of the characters are introduced only for a particular episode, but if I try to draw them and find them easy to move, I stick with them. I never thought that Henderson and Yor's boss, the shopkeeper, would play such an active role...

By the way, he's the only character who has a fanservice scene (the shower scene) in the work.

I liked the mismatched jersey he wore during the dodgeball round, so I'd like to have him do various cosplays as well. Like doing "Today's class is [redacted]", but I don't think there will be much demand for it.

Damian Desmond: 

(Endo) He's exactly like Domyoji from "花より団子 / Hana Yori Dango / Boys Over Flower" (by Yoko Kamio) (Laughs). In his first appearance, he was a jerk who boasted about his status, but he soon became a good boy. I wanted to make him a meaner character though.

This is Domyoji Tsukasa, the main lead of the romance series Hana Yori Dango or Boys Over Flower, a manga by Yoko Kamio

(Hayashi) Because Ewin and his friend are good guys, I think he's getting better hanging around with them. They're really good guys who are always there for Damian and give him the attention that he needs. Damian should be thankful to the both of them.

(Endo) In the future, there may or may not be a dark episode of "After all, humans only want money and power...." (Laughs)

Becky Blackbell:

(Endo) Like Damian, she started out as a tsun-tsun (tsundere), but she soon became friendly.... And she was able to get along with Anya in just one episode. She's very easy going.

She thinks people her age are "brats" and doesn't have many friends other than Anya. I would like to make at least 1 more person to be her friend. Her personality and design are probably based on Marika-chan from "愛してるぜベイベ★★ / I love you baby ★★" (Yoko Maki). She's precocious and cute.

Marika-chan from the manga series Aishiteruze Baby / I love you baby by Yoko Maki

Unrelated, but I kinda like her last name "Blackbell". I don't remember the reason why I gave it to her though.

Fiona Frost: 

(Endo) I really like "Nightfall's" design including her coat. The image color is "blue" in contrast to Yor. In terms of standing position, her character is to stir up the romance part of the story. I thought of it as a way to add variety to the story.

(Hayashi) There was quite a bit of talk about putting out a character on WISE's side as a friend during Twilight's meeting. I thought it would be nice to have at least one colleague for Twilight.

(Endo) The name "Nightfall"  means to "follow around after Twilight (evening)". Emile and Ewin start with "E" because they're following Damian "D". I know people might think that the names of the other characters also have meanings to them, but I actually just added them on a whin (Laughs)

Donovan Desmond: (I can't add his pic anymore)

(Endo) Since he's the last boss, I'm careful not to make him look like a dull character. With a face like this, I'm sure that Damian looks like his mother (Laughs)

He was a member of the ruling party during the war, but now he's a member of the opposition party, so I have an image of him hiding in the background.

(Hayashi) He's a character with a lot of secrets, but the goal is to get into his heart, so please pay attention to him in the future!

I wanted to read one last book to close out the year, so I shopped through my bookshelf for a small little novel I could read in a few days and ended up pulling out my copy of The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger (CITR).

I never read CITR in high school. My AP teacher had the privilege of being able to assign us non-state standard readings and took full advantage of it. And in college, professors just assume you've already been forced to read it. But, nope. Not me.

I actually bought my copy many years ago from Goodwill when I lived in [redacted city], then proceeded to forget about it until now. I only mention this because my copy is apparently the UK edition and doesn't have so much as a synopsis on the back. So beyond knowing a little bit about the misinterpreted poem scene and that everyone HATES Holden Caulfield, I had no idea what this book was even about.

And... holy fuck.

This book is AMAZING.

At first, I just thought it was funny. I was enjoying how much of a shit head Holden is, and all the ways he is such a teenager. He's insightful, but draws some of the dumbest conclusions you have ever seen. He thinks he's so suave and cool, and it's so clear that everyone thinks he's a loser. He wants so badly to be thought well of by his peers while not respecting any of them. I love how Salinger writes his narration, how he branches off into little anecdotes about barely related topics.

But at some point, I just got so sad for him. I'm not sure where exactly it hit me, but at some point you can't help but see how tragic he is. He truly is in so much pain and has no idea how to process any of it. He's traumatized and has been failed by every adult in his life. No one is helping him.

But for a character that has such a reputation for being a manipulative man, he really does seem like a child who is scared to grow up. I was surprised to find out that the titular catcher in the rye monologue was about wanting to protect the innocence of other kids. With the way people discuss this kid, you would think he was conspiring to kill, well, John Lennon.

By the end of the story, when he's with Phoebe at the carousel and he's feeling happy for once in his life, I was crying (or as Holden would say, that killed me).

I then proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes staring at the ceiling, just trying to make sense of it all.

It's such a shame that this novel has been so thoroughly marred by its controversy. I tried to talk to my sister about it afterwards, and she just got really hung up about how she always thought Holden Caulfied was a "psycho" and "one-step away from being a school shooter."

Which, no? Did we even read the same book? Are we still talking about the same kid? He's a brat, but he's not out there to hurt anyone one.

I'm not sure how I would have felt about this book had I actually read it in high school. On one hand, I had a hefty respect for classics when I was a teen and would never dare claim that any one of them is terrible or stupid (except The Great Gatsby). But on the other, I think that a teacher that tried to teach this novel as Holden being a character who has profound thoughts and sees through the veneer of polite society (like apparently how it was taught to my brother)... I mean, I would have believed it but adult me certainly doesn't agree.

This book definitely lays a blueprint for Robert Cormier's entire catalogue, and I was obsessed with his books in junior high. So I probably would have inevitably liked CITR.

I'm glad I waited until now to read it. Teenage me wouldn't have understood everything in it. Older and (hopefully) wiser me does, and she will defend Holden Caulfield with her life.

Fic Updates

It's been a while soo....

I Want You to Show Me Weak — As I've stated before, there are only 2 chapters left in the entire fic. I'm going to be finishing both of them before I post chapter 26. Then I'll be posting chapter 27 the next day. Gonna end the fic with a bang 😏 I have everything outlined and thought out, I just have to finish writing it (I'm very excited about what I have planned/written for the final chapter, which includes the ending). Though I will admit, it's been difficult to write knowing I'll be saying goodbye to this story. I'll miss my boys SO much 😭, as well as this version of Kino x Reader, but I want to finish it for myself and for all of you! Besides, there's always the possibility of oneshots set in this universe in the future AND I'm not done writing for Kino. Not even close! I have no date estimate at the moment, but I'm trying to give this one my full attention so 🤞

The Devil Makes Us Sin — Once Show Me Weak is done, I'm going to give this one my full attention for a while. (Though, to be honest, even though I'm trying to focus on finishing Kino first, I still keep this document open and regularly pop in to write a paragraph or two. What can I say, David is VERY fun to write for 😏, I love him, and I must follow the serotonin). The next few chapters will be shorter so they should go quickly, and I already have around the next 4 of them half written (I actually have about ~25k of future stuff written last time I checked, including parts of chapters MUCH further down the road 😅).

Other Wips

While my focus has been on my ongoing stories, I do have a few other WIPs I have actual content written for! So here's an update on those as well. For fun.

Personal Trainer!Kino x Reader Modern AU — I have the beginning of this story and a few scenes written, and SO many notes for it. (My relationship with my trainer is fantastic. He's 50% big brother energy, 50% wingman energy, but he says THE most out of pocket shit so I immediately write it down after my sessions. Because him saying it does nothing for me, but imagining Kino saying it?? 😵‍💫🫠🥵) It will probably end up ~5 chapters total. Probably.

And Your Heart, Love, Has Such Darkness (David x Reader smutty Oneshot) — I started this one a year ago because I wrote something for TDMUS that didn't quite fit, but I liked it enough to keep it and make it its own thing. It's over half done right now, so it will likely be the next oneshot I post.

I Didn't Want to Hurt You, but You're Pretty When You Cry (Dark!David x Reader) — I think this one will end up about 3 chapters long and will contain a lot of content warnings. It's going to be more horror focused (with splashes of dark humor because I cannot help myself). I adore the opening chunk I've written. It gave me goosebumps.

Secret Andy Blorbo x Reader Oneshot — This one started as a joke on Discord about an Andy blorbo that is not only incredibly niche/unknown, but is actively not attractive (one of the very rare times Andy Serkis does nothing for me. In fact, when I see him, my vagina makes the windows shutdown noise). Except I made the mistake of saying, "I want to try to write for this character as a fun challenge just so I can sexually confuse everyone." And it, uh, spiraled from there and made me rethink my entire stance on this character (thank you for not only indulging me, Hannah, but encouraging me and giving me more ideas 💖 I loved [redacted] thirst day in TNBF)

Halsin x Tav — That's right, I'm writing for the sexy druid. It'll be 2 chapters, and it's about a third of the way finished. This Tav will be a human fighter, but is otherwise written more like a Reader Insert. (Side note: going back to 3rd person POV after writing a lot of 2nd person POV is harder than I imagined 🙃)

Paz Vizsla x Mando!Reader Oneshot — That's right, I'm also writing for the big Mandalorian. It's about a third of the way finished as well. (These last 2 are actually a little intimidating because the fandoms are MUCH larger, but I need to get them out sooo fuck it, it's happening.)

So as you can see, even though I haven't posted very much outside of Liam Black, I'm still writing a lot. Apparently I just have commitment issues and a lot of ✨thots✨ 😌💖

user elekinetic do you have any tips to spare for outlining fics 😭 i feel like I word vomit any of the concept that I have in my head, and dialogue ,and build off that adding paragraphs as I go and I go so slow bc of it. But ive been trying hard lately to write a list of “scenes” and bullet point the story but yeah.

do you know anything that could help me have an idea of where to go start to finish instead of starting at the random spot I’ve come up with first? I waste so much writing time because I haven’t built a backstory for characters and things like that so i don’t always know how they start the story off, only the situation they’re in. Is that something that could help? Making a list for each character or something? Would love to hear your thoughts thank you! <3

hi! first of all i’m so flattered you asked! to be clear, i am a very slow writer too lmao and i’m relatively new to prose writing, and though in very confident in my understanding of what makes a good story (W screenwriting), i am still figuring out my outlining process. but hey! let’s learn together.

sorry in advance for how long this is. i love talking.

so i basically figure everything out in the outline and write after i feel very good about it. if you have a strong foundation, everything gets a hell of a lot easier. t kind of sounds like your process might be similar to mine, so i’m just gonna explain what i'm doing for my current project.

my key document is my “bible.” i split it up into a couple different sections using page breaks (page breaks my best friend ily page breaks):

pitch/word vomit summary

scene ideas

outline

notes

ok so wtf does that mean.

1. pitch/word vomit summary — explain your concept. bc i've got a film/tv background, im starting off with my logline. (e.g. "after robin learns will is gay, they have a heart to heart in an abandoned video store about insecurity and feeling alone. they learn they're not." sometimes i'll follow that up with a note to myself like, "this fic isn't robin finding out, this is what happens after. starts with her already knowing. will pov, focus on his perception of robin changing. subtly reference toward feelings about mike, dont come out (haha) and say it") then, i write as MUCH of the concept down as i can, like i'm explaining it to a friend. (sometimes i copy and paste rants from dms directly into the document). it can be totally out of order, non-sensical, contradictory. just get as many of your ideas down as possible. you want to be able to come back to this and be like, oh i totally forgot about that. vague chapter summaries, personal notes about themes, whatever you want. i have a list of beats that you find in romantic dramas for inspiration and a paragraph abt ways i want to parallel/subvert s3 of st. just. go ham. 2. scene ideas — this is pretty self explanatory. i take some of the stuff i have in the p/s and flesh it out, or put down new ideas. this is where i'm writing out dialogue in bullet points, or what i want them to be Really Saying. (e.g. "mike: [panics bc he feels seen, tries to flip it back on (redacted) and fails] ") this is for when i can see stuff more clearly or i get out of the shower with a whole exchange in my head. gonna be out of order, a little all over the place. 3. outline — so. this is where you start piecing it together. put the bullet points in order. figure out objective of each scene and what needs to happen to accomplish that goal. figure out pacing, what needs to happen when. this step is where im looking at dialogue and thinking "why does mike say that? why does he feel that way? what needs to happen to get him to this point emotionally?" or looking at scenes and thinking "these are two scenes with people arguing back to back. lets make sure they feel different and give the characters different tactics to get what they want (byler argument where mike is avoiding will vs max argument where max is avoiding lucas. i could use this to highlight similarities and differences in the relationships, but having two scenes with the same tactics back to back might feel repetitive. maybe i move the scenes farther apart or change circumstances. maybe mike and will are having a veiled argument while theyre with a group of friends in a public space and max and lucas' argument is outside max's house.) also asking if conflicts are resolved too quickly, if the miscommunications feel too convenient, if characters disappear or are only around as plot devices. write. troubleshoot. repeat. 4. random notes — everything else that doesnt fit. for me this is literally just taylor swift lyrics (writing the fic vaguely off of a Specific Song that SHOULD BE STREAMED MORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE anyway) and links to posts i use as character reference to make sure im staying true to the characters. (remembering will said "i was being a total jerk to el, i deserved it," AND "you're ruining everything, and for what!"/"i wasn't moping!")

i want it to be clear im doing all of this at the same time. im jumping around and pulling new ideas and rearranging as stuff changes. i think the thing that's really hard is that i want to be able to sit down, write the outline, and then move on. but for us scatterbrained writers, you're gonna have to re-outline and readjust like. a thousand times. and that's okay. that's good! it feels tedious as hell but the story is so much better for it.

take your time. let yourself be slow. keep finding holes in your story and fill the world in as you fix them.

here are some more questions i ask myself to make the story better:

What are you trying to accomplish over the course of the story? What is it about? (for the will&robin fic, it was something about feeling seen for the first time.) When you get lost in your story or aren't sure why a scene feels stale, come back to this. is the scene furthering that goal?

What is changing internally for each of your main characters? (yes theyre dating by the end but like. what do they learn.)

Are the side characters people or props? (will pov scene of a party-wide picnic where everyone's talking but will is focused on mike's hands.... where is max's head at in the scene? you don't have to have a super long backstory and she doesn't have to be a big part of the plot, but if she's saying something, figure out why she's saying it. if will is having a heart to heart with el, understand why el is responding the way she is. the scene's goal may be to get will through a breakthrough, but el's circumstances will change in the scene too. figure out how this conversation lands with her. oh, and remember the adults are people too!)

Why is this character saying this/why are they responding this way? (this should answer your "where do i start?" question. start in that random spot and figure out A) why they are there and B) why they are reacting the way they do (see last bullet point).

side note: some of the best advice i ever got was "enter the scene late, exit early." skip the prologue. try starting from that random spot. if it feels like something's missing, figure out exactly what that something is, and go from there

Do the stakes feel high enough?

What do i need to set up to make sure this scene/beat is satisfying as possible? (are will and mike going to have a big argument? oh, so we have to show tension before.... BAM you have another scene to write and your outline is fuller)

i could go on a lot longer but. basically.

i edit while i write. i'm someone who needs a very fucking strong outline and a very fucking clear idea of the story before i can start writing it. i'm putting probably 70-80% of the leg work in at the start so i can focus on making the prose (or script, most of the time) the best it can be.

THAT BEING SAID, this is just the way i do it and i have like. a fic and a half published. im taking my sweet time bc im creatively burned out and this is for fun first and foremost. like i said. i am a Very Slow Writer.

i highly, highly recommend hitting up the ask boxes of writers like @/strangeswift, @/wiseatom, @/astrobei, or @/andiwriteordie. no guarantees on responses bc they are busy ppl with busy lives but i really do think theyre some of the best writers out here right now, and im not just saying that bc they're my friends. abby (strangeswift) and i have been each other's sounding board through a lot of projects and she's almost done with one of her first Big Fics, so its worth asking her about that.

i hope this helps! ah!!

thots & theories :: loki season 2 episode 1

This post will contain spoilers for the first episode of Loki Season 2 under the cut so please if you haven't watched yet, then press Keep Reading at your own risk.

What you will find under the cut: Whoring out and the return of a side of me that I never actually thought would ever come out again…"Theorist Ally" 🥴🫡

Thots

Please tell me I wasn't the only one at risk of heading to the ER from choking after seeing that first shot of TVA agents chasing Loki down the hallway like besties & fellow whores I did not have "Marvel mercifully decides to leave the mango untouched" in my 2023 bingo card. But we actually got that shot in HD now and it's blowing my tiny whoring mind 🥵😮‍💨

And all the hair flips we got once he lands from a time slip with the tense jaw and neck muscles like Sir we're trying to feel for you and feel the urge to wrap you in a blanket and give you cuddles, but you're making it really hard not to think about [redacted]

Lemme just give y'all some shots that had me feeling all kinds of ways throughout this episode:

Thoughts

Something I really appreciated in this was that while Loki was concerned about how the time slipping looked to people witnessing it, Mobius was more concerned about how Loki felt experiencing it. Precious beb deserves to have someone that actually cares to that level and that bit just warmed my cold dead heart 🥹

In the same vein as above, Mobius' refusal to give up on Loki coming back until the last possible second and even begging OB to hold off a little longer really struck a chord with me because again, he now has someone that isn't just concerned about his well-being but also will believe in him even if everyone's going to tell them to give up 💖

The scene where OB was remembering new memories from his past in realtime during his conversation with Mobius in the present was something that I found insanely clever like let me tell you I was geeking out about it on my couch at 9am on a Friday morning

The sequences where Loki begins to realize in seconds where he's been yoinked off to in the timeline was a really good showcase of how smart our stabby boi is because he was using elements in his surroundings to form a timeline in his head to estimate where he was and he's doing all this under the pressure of not knowing when he's going to disappear again and under visibly excruciating pain 🥺💖

I'm living for the fact that B-15's part of the main group of characters and she really served that look of "are you fucking kidding me and right in front of my salad" when General Dox and X-5 were having their little moment.

Speaking of Dox and X-5…something's going on with those two and if y'all are thinking "mother/son" then lemme just nudge you in the direction of Oedipus Complex because…something about those two don't sit right with me 😖😖

The whole profound emotional moment with Sylvie finally feeling like she can breathe and not have to worry about running anymore and actually eat something that isn't something she hunted would have had the teeniest bit more impact if it didn't take place in a McDonald's but I gotta admit I too have once considered trying the entire menu 😂

Theories

Let's start off with my theories surrounding the scene where they fix the Temporal Loom because I have a feeling that we're going to be returning to that sequence and that setting quite a few times towards the end of the season. And with that sequence alone I have so many questions.

Like how did Sylvie get stuck in the elevator? Who pruned Loki that allowed him to return to his present timeline and also save Mobius in the process? Who's on the other end of the line on that ringing phone in the future? Why is General Dox sending troops upon troops of Minutemen to Sylvie's location and how is she even certain that where they're all headed off to is the location they're after?

So here's a few of my theories/predictions for what we're about to see as Season 2 plays out:

Loki prunes himself – I think we're going to revisit that scene where Loki gets pruned only from a more future Loki's point of view where we see that he's the one that prunes Episode 1 Loki so that he could be extracted and returned to his present timeline. He's the one holding the time stick.

General Dox is a tertiary antagonist – in the grand scheme of the season I think she and X-5 will probably at most be a nuisance with some firepower, but they're not the biggest threat after Kang, which leads me to…

OB is a secondary antagonist – I know I know we love him right now because he's fun and quite matter of fact, but hear me out. I think that his priority will be fixing the Temporal Loom which goes against what at least B-15 stands for because each branched timeline has countless lives living in them. He knows how the loom works and he knows how to repair it, so he puts that above all else to the extent where he could try and reconcile them all once again into a Sacred Timeline. Point is, he won't want the Loom to break.

Rennslayer and Kang are the primary antagonists…and maybe also Minutes? – that casual hard launch in the beginning scenes where Loki's in the past TVA hasn't left my mind and I think this is where we're headed

And now here's where I go tin foil hat and give my most out there theory that I hope won't happen but something tells me that it will.

So…y'all know how in Doctor Who, Clara Oswald sacrifices herself into the Doctor's timeline and splits herself into thousands (maybe even millions) of iterations of herself with the singular goal of saving the Doctor? She becomes a being that is destined to make that decision again and again because the Clara that jumped into the timeline was a life that's probably already been created as a result of that very sacrifice?

That type of circular infinite path of life is like the snake that's forever doomed to eat its own tail in a circle until the end of time. That concept and that symbol is called an Ouroboros.

And now that I've given that long winded intro here's the part where some of you are about to click off and call me delulu and you know what valid but if you're still here and you wanna see the clown show here we go:

Loki will become an Ouroboros

I don't think this episode was just titled "Ouroboros" because we're being introduced to OB. I think there was a more profound meaning to the episode title, that meaning being that this is the path that Loki's headed down. I think he sacrifices himself in the scene where he faces the Temporal Loom without a protective suit on and this will cause him to split into infinite versions of himself throughout the timelines. And one of these infinite versions will find himself in the Future TVA where he sees the Loki from Episode 1 running in search of a time stick.

Now I can already hear some of you going "But Ally why would he do that?" And I'm going to pull from Loki's words directly to explain what his motive could be to do such a thing:

"I want to save my friends"

Now with all that being said, I'm totally open to other theories and I genuinely hope that my big theory is not correct because I really don't like that that's the route my brain went when trying to connect the pieces.

Gonna go and tag some usual suspect besties in this (and not gonna put this into the series tag because self preservation): @gigglingtiggerv2 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @coldnique @peachyjinx @gruftiela @lokisgoodgirl @loopsisloops @give-me-a-moose @lokischambermaid @tallseaweed @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @joyful-enchantress @november-rayne @ladyofthestayingpower @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @liminalpebble @simplyholl +++

WAAA MERA I LOVE MONOPS'S REFLECTION SO MUCHHHH

im obsessed with the way you portrayed jade in the story. like its not everyday that i get to see him written in a way that totally doesnt hide his insanity at all. reading monops's reflection was just so <33 aaa tysm for writing smth so amazing!!!

you mentioned before that monops!jade is very "rotten girl grotesque romance", and i totally agree, but i was actually reminded of another old yandere vocaloid song when i read the fic! idk if you know it, but its called "pure love restraint". its a really good song hehe, you should totally check it out if you dont already know it!

oh also speaking of songs, i recently started listening to loveit? by biz since you mentioned it a while ago, and i love the song so much >< do you happen to have any other song recommendations because clearly you have great taste in music~

also as a final note, i cant wait for tmdg hehe 👉👈

-kanata <3

AAAAA THANK YOU!!!!! >w< I'm so happy you enjoyed Monops's Reflection!!!! Jade is so wildly deranged in that fic. He truly is the embodiment of the harsh, brutal depths he hails from. ;;;; seeing Reader in the storage closet with Floyd pushed him over the edge he'd been teetering on for so long now. T^T he's far surpassed the point of no return. I had so much fun finishing this fic and portraying Jade in such a terrifying manner. And poor Reader had no idea what hid behind that seemingly pleasant smile of his until it was too late...

There are so many layers to Monops!Jade. How he gets so disgusted at the sight and thought of you with anyone else. How it's not really sexual gratification he's after; he's just chasing some thrill he's yet to figure out in its entirety, which is why he doesn't touch you at all during the non-con scene. Because it's not your pleasure he cares about; he could care less whether you feel good or not. How his sanity is so thin and threadbare that it's hardly there at all. How he fails to recognize that, despite the similarities he shares with Floyd, he's still his own person, still different, but not different enough for you to look his way, apparently. And then there's the meaning of Monops, which is a "one-eyed creature." >:D aaaaa he's truly the worst.

OOOOO "true love restraint"!!!!!!! I love that song!!! That song definitely has the vibes that Monops!Jade exudes!! And I'm happy you enjoyed listening to "loveit." :D it's a very good song, but then all of biz's songs are amazing!!!

>:) I always have song recommendations to share!! I'll list a few of my favorite (lesser known) Vocaloid songs with dark undertones/stories below, but if there's any specific genre you'd like recs for please let me know!!!

✧ insanity blue (all of kashii moimi's songs are fantastic!!! i recommend them, but this one is my all-time favorite hehe)

✧ wolfism (there's also a jade utau cover of this song. <3 both are very good.)

✧ go to daitokai (the lyrics for this one are very nsfw, but this song is very catchy.)

✧ biohazard (the original is very good, but i love the sonika cover so much!!)

✧ distortion love (this piko cover is everything. <3)

✧ ◇◇ (i love this song and the songs that are similar to [redacted]'s style. i'm not sure if you know of these style of utau songs (the "no title" songs), but in 2020 they became especially popular and a lot of people online began to call it a secret cult of sorts, where you couldn't search these videos normally because they didn't have a title to search for, so instead the videos would find you.)

✧ lamprey hole (i love this song forever!!!!!)

✧ meiro (it's so so good!!!)

✧ no title (this song is a banger!!!!!!!!! it got me through quarantine as did all the other no title songs and tributes. :D)

I will stop here or else the list will go on endlessly, but if you ever wish to hear new music I will be happy to share some recommendations!!! Also, thank you for looking forward to tmdg!!!!! <3 it grows closer to completion with every passing day!!!!

CH 31: Epilogue

the long-awaited epilogue of “What Lies Inside” has finally arrived — written for day 7 of @azrisweek :’)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:

𝒯𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 ℒ𝑜𝓇𝒹 ℬ𝓇𝒾𝒹𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓉𝑜𝓃, 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 ℳℬ 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 ℒℬ @damedechance,

WLI began as me sending different Azris variations of the classic knife-to-throat, back-against-wall, threats thrown at near kissing distance scenes to your dms. It’s only proper that WLI was finished in your dms as well. Thank you for beta-reading this epilogue and helping it shine brighter than gold coins tossed and catching the firelight <3

READ THE EPILOGUE // READ FROM THE BEGINNING

𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐳𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥’𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕*

Azriel analyzed his reflection in the tall, ornately framed mirror. Black boots, navy trousers, and a cobalt jacket with silver buttons embossed with the Night Court crest. Normal. Black leather gloves with his siphons on the backs. Normal. His hair, formerly tamed with pomade, was now slightly askew because he’d been running his fingers through it. Normal. The tightness of his skin, the pressure on his lungs—unpleasant, yet also normal. Azriel looked at the hands of the grandfather clock again and his heart raced. They’d be here any minute. Eris’s family, and his own. […] Anxiety was Azriel’s constant companion but, in the last few days, its presence had grown. Where it was typically a low hum droning in his bones, as familiar as the rush of blood, it now rang at a violent frequency which made his skin too tight and itchy. […] Azriel was on the edge of giving in to a sinister, well-worn spiral. The questions lurked in his mental periphery; their little mocking echoes—some centuries old, some newly sprouted—rang in his ears. What if they hate you for keeping this secret? How many lies is too many? What if they expect you to choose between them and him? Will you give them up for the chance of the bond? Or will you turn your back on your mate for them? Do you really think he cares for you? He’s lied for centuries, how do you know he isn’t lying now? Maybe this will finally make your family see how unworthy you have always been; mated to a male just as dark and twisted as you—how can a living nightmare fit in with the court of dreams? What will Mor think of you now? Will she finally realize how monstrous you are when she learns Eris is your mate? How will she bear looking at you, knowing you want to accept a bond with the male who caused her such pain? “Azriel.” Eris stood behind him, not touching him, but close enough that he easily could have. Azriel felt like such a coward for not wanting to do this, for wanting to stay hidden away in this bubble of secrecy forever. But Eris didn’t deserve to be anyone’s secret, and he knew Eris didn’t want that for him either. Meeting Eris’s eyes in the mirror, Azriel saw his mate’s concern. “Az, we talked about this,” Eris’s voice was uncommonly gentle. It threatened the already fracturing integrity of Azriel’s outward stoicism. “I know. I know this is what’s best, to tell them all at once on our own terms, but….” Azriel cut himself off, shaking his head. “I know.” “So you’ve said,” Eris smirked at their reflections. That teasing grin slackened, Eris’s ring-adorned fingers curling into Azriel’s side as his eyes went glassy, focused on whatever silent message the house was sending him. An icy ripple of foreboding chilled his blood, and his hands grew clammy in his gloves. Someone was here. “The High Lord and Lady of Day, their heir, and the Seer have arrived,” his shadows informed him. And with that, any desperate thoughts he had about last-minute escapes evaporated.

— — — 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.

*minor redactions have been made for the purpose of this post.

tagging: @iftheshoef1tz @octobers-veryown @krem-does-stuff @lady-riel @melonsfantasyworld @legionsofthehungry @wellwhatisnttaken @foundress0fnothing @mali22 @blurredlamplight @yourethehero @cataclysmica @valkyrieassassin @queercontrarian @panicatthenightcourt @edgyellie @vanserra-enthusiast @brokeneveningstars @moonpatroclus @vulpes-fennec @fieldofdaisiies @areyoudreaminof

I just wanna say I adore your fic so so much. Everything is so nice and entertaining. I certainly can't wait for the proper meeting of the complete fishy bois. Also you don't have to compare the assistant ai!! I love bon-bon so much that he's growing on me like algae/lh

I love how he just worries about Y/N when they just brush him off saying they're just another replaceable cog to this system. Like the way he goes.

"But you're a person."

Makes me think he's not really well versed in stuff and still learning and that's what makes him so cute and fascinating. Bonbon our only ally fr fr

ALSO MOON!!! HE'S SO ANXNJEJDJRJF I JUST WANNA SQUISH IM AND BITE HIM. SHAKE HIM LIKE A FERAL DOG W THEIR TOY.

A MENACE.

I still snicker at the misunderstandings like Y/N trying to run away and Moon just goes "Play? Play! FRIEND PLAY!!!"

He's like a cat batting at anything that moves SJXJJEJDJDNEKD

Can I ask what he was trying to do, throwing fish at Y/N? Like I initially thought it was like a thank you but HAHAHA I'm not so sure.

I cackled on the bit where "IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME" Junior researcher. PLS YOU LITERALLY LIKE EXPOSED EVERY DCA ENJOYER.

NOT THE REDACTED IM FUCKING SOBBING OVER IT.

Bonbon literally has the normal reaction and reader's like wdym haha

I wanna ask so many questions but I must be patient and wait for everything to unravel OWOENDKSNDJD

Honestly I got curious and went to tumblr to see some extra content and it didn't disappoint.

I didn't expect the scene where Bronii and Y/N sees Moon glowing to be so ethereal looking!!!

He's sk beautiful augh. NOT ONLY HIM BUT OUR VERY OWN Y/N

Y/N is very pretty and i love them sm. I love the banter between them and BonBon. I just can't help but laugh that the bunny was going to jab about their ancestors in their oceanic planet.

I absolutely adore your AU and will keep rereading it <333333

I sincerely hope you recover well and take your time to heal before attempting to do more <333333 Put yourself first <3 we can wait

sneef aheem heem🥺 this is such a nice message🥺😭😭💕

i'm ecstatic you like it!!!!! tbh BON-BON is growing on me so algae-like that i need to elevate other characters so he doesn't overtake them😅 i'm sure some ppl know how it is when a supporting character kinda starts to overshadow the mains accidentally. but instead of cutting him down, the others will rise instead. also you're right, BON-BON has confidence but he's not as well-versed in relationships and social knowledge as he presents himself. he's naive, a little. and he has a mental hierarchy of AI at the bottom, living beings at the top that's being challenged by how carelessly Y/N is being treated.

i ADORE writing Moon! so when he was throwing the fish at Y/N, he was mimicking their tactic of using food to lure him forward. kinda like how they were doing with the crabs in that moment. he wanted to form some kind of trust using food and make them come closer. at that point he had yet to see them without their mask, so to his knowledge other communication methods like speech weren't available.

heeheehoo i wanted him to look very dazzling during the hypnotism scene🥰😳 and i noticed with half of his face covered with the esca he looks more human?? which would help with luring humans bc it kinda obscures the uncanny valley aspect of his usual face shape. i love drawing all of them!

i hope to update the fic soon! recovery isn't going as planned, so i'll be sure to rest, but i've been looking forward to answering this since i saw it in my inbox☺️and i love getting Q's about my fic. thank sm for such a nice message!!💞✨💗✨🌼💖

Okay so I’m going to put in my 2 cents on the matter of the mwiii ending. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t write some semblance of a theory post. Maybe I’m in denial. If so I don’t. fucking. care. Soap may not be my personal comfort character in the same sense like he is to so many others, but finding out about the campaign today has left me depressed as fuck over this ngl. I love Simon and Johnny so much 💀 🧼 ❤️ And quite frankly this was some steaming FUCKING bullshittery that I will never accept. So… without further a-due

SPOILERS!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!

———————————

Now I haven’t watched all of the campaign yet, so I can’t get a solid feel of how rushed it is like people are saying. I started watching the first mission before I got distracted with the comment section on YouTube, and that’s when I found out what happens and the whole damn thing snowballed from there. Might go back and watch it later for the boys sake mainly, and to gather more accurate information. But I’ve seen enough to form a theory that Soap may not actually be dead.

Again… I know I’m probably just denial typing but if it helps then it helps ya know? And I like to put a bit of faith behind these, else there would be no point in making them.

So to start, we see Soap get shot and fall but to me personally our view of him was never close enough to determine if he was actually breathing or not. Man just got shot twice, at least once critical, any breathing gonna be labored as fuck I’d take it. Our only thing to go by is Price saying k.i.a out loud which- later I thought- Makarov may have been injured and ran, but he could still have men in the area watching the boys, reporting back to him anything that could have occurred after his bitchass self made his little bitchass exit. Soap could still have been alive, but in the moment the need to announce aloud that Makarov did him in was needed to keep his true status unknown to any potential unnecessary ears or planted bugs to help keep Soap that way until the rest of the boys could get him to medical.

The whole scene with Laswell redacting reports? At least I’m assuming that’s what that was, keeping information about the mission secure because the enemy is still out there. I tried reading it as it went, I’ll have to go back later and really pay attention to what was typed before it was marked out. Labeling Soap k.i.a again as possible cover up to keep him safe.

The ashes scene, while heart wrenching, is such an odd thing to jump to imo. Did Soap not have a family waiting for him? Never known otherwise unless I missed something along the way. I mean being realistic here the bodies of soldiers are usually sent back to the families if able. And Soap was still intact. So the team scattering ashes really doesn’t make sense if you really think about it, if Soap was actually dead. Just automatically cremating him would be cruel. Yes Soap was a part of their team family … but not letting a possible blood family get their son back… unless there was a time skip and they were allowed some of Soaps ashes… idk.

On the other hand perhaps a possible family couldn’t be notified of their son’s condition due to their safety potentially being in jeopardy. Now there is the matter of Soaps dog tags of course, who has those? Soaps family? Or maybe Ghost? I didn’t see them nor hear mention of them so it’s still too soon to say what happened with them. And if the boys needed a way to make soaps death look real. Needed to really send it and make it seem untraceable well… tossing what looks to be ashes would be the best choice. While Soap is kept hidden away under constant surveillance as he hopefully recovers. Makarov could have eyes always on them. I wouldn’t doubt that he did.

Just too many plotholes. Too many what ifs. Too soon to tell. Am I mad? Upset? Pissed? You betcha ass I am. I let my hopes get too high in believing the 141 would get some strong plot armor this go around. Ghost survived, can you blame me? A part of me just refuses to accept and believe Soap is gone. That my favorite duo is done. Big chance I’m wrong I know. But always a chance I could be right. A chance I’m willing to take.

weekend wip game

thanks @welcometololaland @orchidscript @alrightbuckaroo! I'm a one wip at a time person, but i'll try my best lol

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

1. WIP List

a chain reaction of countermoves (formally known as funky cabin to some) - the only one I'm actively working on at the moment

collab with @welcometololaland! (is this a secret? SORRY)

collab with @heartstringsduet!

Carlos escaping his past meets wanderlust TK au - hardly anything more than an idea

a few more time, curious time installments

a third story in the vampire universe (maybe. one day. MAYBE).

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

a chain reaction of countermoves. the only one with words lol

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

probably the collab with @welcometololaland because it's us

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

well, the only one I've written anything for is acroc so... that one

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

um probably the collabs because I've never done one and my mind is kind of a mix of ?????? and feeling like I've never written a word in my life

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

acroc - it's a style I haven't done much of and I'm hoping it’ll all makes sense, doesn't come across as cheesy, etc.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

all of them to make sure the characters aren't sticking four different hands somewhere or something of the sort

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

I haven't been writing a ton lately and I can't tell if it's writer's block or if I'm just busy. maybe a little of both

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

okay I don't count this as a wip because I'm done writing it, but technically it's still a wip for you all and I have to go with my boy Lucky from meet you after dark. you'll meet him on tuesday! he's the cutest, sassiest, prickliest little baby boy and I love him dearly

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

ummm maybe the collab with @heartstringsduet ?

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the modern day time, curious time installment because they're going to be so sad over their past selves and not even know it. the also third vampire story would also be very angsty for different reasons

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I think the @welcometololaland collab really leans into their funny, bantering side and that's going to be really fun and full of moments that will feel very them. but also acroc is set in canon which really allows me to dig into some big thoughts and feelings

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

I think the wanderlust au setting will be gorgeous. I'm thinking small mountain town. (when I said this is barely an idea, I meant it)

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

acroc. this is going to be another fic where I end up doing a bunch of random research for. can't wait to learn adsfad

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

the collabs because I want don't want to let people down. I think acroc will be very cool if it all comes together the way I want it to

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

No, I wish. Imagine waking up and you already have an idea, that sounds like a dream (ha)

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

one time, curious time installment is historical, the third vampire story has well... vampires, and acroc has [redacted] so they're all pretty unique

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

the collab w/ lola. plotting it always has me grinning

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not that I have planned at the moment, but I do want to write an outsider pov at some point for something

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

how about one for each?

acroc - the setting is a fictional place in Texas because I couldn't find exactly what I wanted, but I'm basing it off of a place I've been to a few times

collab w/ lola - if you think no one is capable of looking hot in a blurry, breakroom employee of the month photo while wearing a polo, Carlos Reyes is about to prove you wrong

collab w/ michelle - this is pretty well known, but it's inspired by taylor swift because it's us

wanderlust au - I got this idea about two pages into reading a book. it was all inspired by the setting. (didn't finish that book though)

time, curious time installments - the lifetimes I have ideas for are chapter 5 (baker/blacksmith) and the modern, canon lifetime

vampire au - the plot of this fic is making me laugh now based on recent events surrounding meet you after dark

following the rules and tagging 6 people: @reyesstrand @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @three-drink-amy @liminalmemories21 + open tag for number 6!

establishing a guns and water motif for palm and nueng's story

ok buckle up gjsjfksks this is going to be long and probably incomprehensible but that's usual if you know me. so. let's break it down.

nueng is shown at the shooting range unable to hit the center target. it's unclear how long he's been coming here, but he's frustrated with his progress (or lack thereof) in aim. he says that he's likely to get shot to death before his aim ever improves.

cutting forward to the scene by the pool, nueng is interrupted in messaging (flirting) ben when he hears someone downstairs; thinking it's a thief or hit man, nueng gets the gun from his dresser to investigate, taking the gun off safety well before he's even left his room. he's on edge, gun extended, and palm tries to approach as cautiously as possible, still taking nueng by surprise when he turns around.

palm knocks the gun out of nueng's hands with enough force that they all fall into the pool, and in classic bl fashion they stare at each other in the water like they're trying to not think about [redacted] because (say it with me!) WATER AS QUEER METAPHOR! but there's this first:

where palm frankly looks like he's been caught in like an lgbt club and is seconds away from being outed???? but nueng's reaction is this:

like he's just found someone like him, recognising himself in palm's panic. you not straight??? me not straight!!!

but then nueng remembers he's mad and swims off lol palm retrieves the gun from where it had landed on the pool floor and goes to hesitantly sit on the edge next to nueng, setting the gun between them.

neung demands to know if palm is trying to kill him, which is interesting because HE'S the one who pointed a gun to palm's chest. palm explains that when he saw nueng with the gun, he worried that it would go off and hurt nueng. again, palm worried nueng would hurt HIMSELF, not palm, the person the gun was aimed at.

keeping in mind water as a heavily queer trope, 1) they're both soaking wet; and 2) palm must also explain that he was swimming without permission, because he thought no one was awake to find out and he begs nueng not to tell his father. often in these shows they'll kiss underwater (or in kinnporsche's case [redacted x10]) as symbolism for the water as a blanket of safety just for them to be the selves the world likes to misunderstand and often hate. it's why so many shows feature an underwater kiss and/or deep conversations in or near water, like a beach - or! a pool!

so i posit that palm's behaviour here is queer metaphor - he can be himself when he thinks no one is paying attention, please don't tell my dad, ill do anything if you keep this a secret... nueng first says that sneaking around this way would have anyone believe palm is a thief, and then says that just because palm begs him to not expose his secret doesn't change the fact of its existence, his "guilt." replace thief with Something Else and you get it.

thing is, like i said - they're both soaked, not just palm. but neither of the two recognise that, in the end, they both ended up in the pool/soaked, whatever the circumstances may have been.

now. a bit of blackmail later where nueng reserves a favour from palm, palm says "may i?" before he picks up the gun that he'd put between them. he removes the ammo and gives the impression that he's experienced with a gun, nueng's surprise marking his memory of his own apparent ineptitude at the range and earlier on. palm holds out the gun and says for nueng's personal safety that nueng should put the ammo in only when he needs it, but not otherwise. and then nueng reaches for the gun and, for no Reasonable Reason, covers it as well as palm's hand with his own.

there is yet another Indescribably Intense Eye Contact, a parallel to palm's panic in the water and nueng staring right at him, a moment of clear understanding. here, palm's eyes go from their joined hands back to nueng's face and so on, while nueng just looks at him unwaveringly. they are seeing each other, and for palm it's terrifying because it means someone knows he is queer; and for nueng it's nothing short of miraculous, because who's ever actually seen him before, not his last name or money?

it's a moment which i found to be even more intense than the rest, and i figured out why after and it's why im writing this. the dick joke in kinnporsche is done here, but instead of a dick joke it's an insane symbolism:

nueng has terrible aim, as they've established,

and the gun is an extension of himself.

he's inexperienced, unsure, and furious that he isn't better at the things he needs to excel in. summarily: he's made out by his parents to be a weapon that he never wanted to be.

and palm takes that weapon, empties it with no problem or fear of what makes it dangerous, and just tells nueng to be careful, only do what's necessary and never at the risk of himself.

i call it...

the loaded heart metaphor.

it's the intensity of the love they will eventually have, but particularly nueng's, whose OST centers on living only for palm, but who - as we see in the trailer and i feel sure of - will push palm away for palm's safety, because to be around nueng is to be in danger.

it all comes back around to the weight nueng bears to live up to the life his parents have established for him and the boys helping each other to grow past the boundaries they've had to live by,

it's about being a weapon, and feeling helpless to be anything else; even when someone looks at you and sees safety, despite it all, and you know he should be running. instead he's handing you the gun and ammo, trusting you to use it well. and if you don't know how, he'll be there to help adjust your aim.

I have like three cat witches guild questions so I’m just gonna ask them all at once

Can Mochi use water magic? She’s the cat witch so she probs can but avoids it as much as possible do to her distaste for it. Leave that shit up to Taffy. I was imagining Lime pining down a rouge Ikasumi drawing yelling at Mochi to water gun it or whatever and she’s just like “I CANT THAT SPELL IS GROSS I DONT WANNA” and Lime just blank staring at her as Coco has to walk up and dump her hydro flask on the drawing and oops some of it got on Limes head teehee. They made her learn bubble beam after that

If Mochi can infuse magic into items like Lime’s bat and Coco’s shoes does she also have that in her broom? What if she got knocked away from her broom and Lime goes to pick it up mid fight and tries to use whatever magical blast she has stored in it to finish off the beast and he successfully fires it off but it shoots him back like 100 feet and it’s drained all his mana. Mans is down for the count after that hit, and now he realizing that Mochi does this all the flippin time during their battles and if looks like nothing to her??? How powerful is she??????

Lime waking up first after one of the first sleepover cuddle sessions and looking down at a slowly waking up Mochi and she asks what he’s thinking about and his thought process can roughly be translated to “REDACTED, █████, WITHHELD, NOT AUTHORIZED, 18+ █████, MUST HAVE HIGHER AUTHORIZATION TO ACCESS, █████, SHES SO FUCKIN CUUUUUTE” but what comes out is “eh nothing much”

Thank you for your time have a nice day

UHGNGFHGN I LOVE ALL THESE QUESTIONS TBH!!!!!!!!!!!!

she CAN use water magic, but she is absolutely ass at it. its notorious for the cat witch to be bad at water magic, you shouldnt be able to have good control over the only thing youre weak against. so she TRIES but its much like aang trying to earthbend, it doesnt work well with her. prior to taffy joining the guild, she couldnt use it at all (even after practicing hours and hours. pom knows she will never fully master water magic but it wont stop her from trying). even after taffy joins them and tries to teach her (hes ass at teaching by the way) she never grasps it fully. any water magic from then on is in taffys hands, mochi cant do it. its actually faster and more efficent to solve the problem in another way than to try to use bad water magic on it!!

this im not 100% decided on!!! im media theres a lot of different broom routes to take, some gives them complete sentience and some its just an object...in mochis case for now i just think of it as an object... im actually not even sure its something infused with magic, if mochi went through the magic-infusing theatrics. it might just be a traditional object you sit on to fly and the actual flight itself comes from mochi.....,,,.or!! its special in the sense that it can channel magic!!!! i say this because i dont think anyone else in the guild could fly on it even if they borrowed it from mochi!!! BUT THE IDEA OF LIME TRYING OUT ONE OF MOCHIS THINGS AND GETTING ABSOLUTELY BODIED BY IT IS AMAZING!!!!!! she probably stands over him like "Are u ok" and he has the most dumbfounded expression on his face

yes. 1000%. this scene fills my brain regularly. theres a 10000% chance he wakes up a little bit before her just so he can feel her sleeping on him. too many times shes trying to fall asleep and is like "Why are you so tense?" and he just gotta lay there like "Uhhhhhh nothing--"

Thank heavens for people like you, able to analyse and articulate game content, and then present it for the rest of us who love Astarion just as much, but are only able to rotate him inside our minds like a single brain cell 😔 Reading your Astarion analysis posts (I think I read all of them, backtracked to the very first one), they really helped me understand his character and the many nuances in his scenes/dialogue branches. My Tav/Astarion fic project is benefiting so much I cannot express my thanks enough. Not only Astarion, I am also learning better to understand TAV and how to build them in my story - which I find incredible because Tav is supposed to be a clean slate for the player and yet their decisions/dialogues still provided me food for thought, but I wouldn't have looked at them that way if I hadn't stumbled into your blog. I hope you don't mind being bombarded in questions because every time I encounter an idea I might just crawl in here asking for a piece of your mind!

you are too kind!!! I also rotate him inside my mind with a single brain cell, and then I see something that makes me annoyed so I need to write it down haha.

I am glad the posts helped! AND MY DESIRE IS FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE EASY ACCESS TO RESOURCES so they can write fanfics. That is actually why I keep posting on youtube!!

And I don't mind questions at all : D (these days I am a bit slower because I am travelling, plus REDACTED came back into the fandom, so part of my brain can only think about REDACTED). And yeah, I agree, I think the possible options available to Tav, while generic, can also be used to identify how Tav would think/is. For example, the fact that with Astarion there are so many options where Tav just leaves and they are "funny" options, makes me think that Tav/Durge knows he is being annoying back at Astarion.

tlou hbo s1 ep1 thoughts (spoilers obviously)

really love that we spend half the ep following sarah through her day in the life, it’s the film equivalent of her being the first playable character in the game. we as the audience spend so much time with her and if you’re not familiar with the story i imagine you’d assume the rest of the show is meant to be around her, only for that to crumble later

the curtis and viper dvd 😭😭

i like how much they show off tommy and joel’s dynamic, specifically in the car scene. tommy mostly acts with emotion and impulse and relies a lot on joel to make the decisions, while joel is the one thinking rationally even when stakes are high: planning them a route to the highway, trying to guide them through the crowds, etc.

an obvious thing to point out but the accuracy of the sets is astounding!! sarah’s room, the austin roadsign (this one specifically broke my brain), the boston QZ, it’s all so goddamn good

LOVE the change to having joel gathering supplies to go and find tommy, it says so much about his character but also their relationship. joel at his core is still a deeply loving and protective person even after twenty years in an apocalypse has forced him to build a harder exterior. but he’s also still stuck in the past, still seeing tommy as the sort of immature younger brother he has to keep watch over

gaslight gatekeep girlboss tess everyone say thanks anna torv

i LOVE that they gave us a glimpse into how the fireflies dealt with ellie before confirming she was immune, i always wondered how the fireflies would’ve reacted to her showing up claiming immunity. the level of paranoia from the fireflies and the responding sass from ellie was exactly how i’d imagined it to go haha

also just really like the world building of how a military-occupied QZ works, with the job system and the radio post with people lining up to send messages to loved ones

obviously happy that gustavo is working on the show but there were so many times a score from the game would play in the show and there’d be this weird disconnect in my brain where i’m like ‘wait that’s not where the music is supposed to play’ LOL

joel little spoon confirmed

so so obsessed with the expansion of tess and joel’s relationship, the way tess is able to calm joel down and get him to think clearly, the way she is clearly so supportive of him going to find tommy. they were able to say so much with so little about who she is as a person and to joel

in game ellie had already met marlene once before she was infected so it made sense that she would go to her for help after, but in the show she’d never met marlene before, makes me wonder why ellie went to her/the fireflies or if that had even been what elllie had intended. maybe she just got tangled up with them and had to make do? or it could be possible that [redacted] survived long enough to escort her to an outpost and explain the situation

joel info dumping about construction in the middle of a manhunt i love this man

“kim you don’t have a fuckin ear on your fuckin head” PLEASE that line was so funny. absolutely uncalled for

bella is so goddamn good as ellie. the mannerisms the sass everything is just so spot on. there were moments when she even sounded just like game ellie it was astounding

ellie’s interest with joel’s violence is so intriguing, i feel like that’s actually a fairly sizable difference from the game. in the equivalent game scene ellie was kinda shocked that tess and joel killed the soldiers, whereas in the show she was fascinated by it.

and also depressing lol, it’s something that she’s surrounded by but has never really had to do before so i think she views violence in an aggrandizing way, kind of like the heroes in her comics. it’s really depressing to know that one day she’s going to get to the point where she realizes just how taxing violence truly is

in hindsight i should’ve known they were gonna end this ep on the reveal of ellie’s immunity, it’s such a genius cliffhanger for people new to the story