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twistedtummies2 · 2 years

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Artists in Wonderland - Number 10

Welcome to Artists in Wonderland! Starting today and lasting until the 4th of July, I’ll be counting down My Top 10 Favorite Illustrators for “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland!” The Lewis Carroll stories of Alice are as immortal as they are odd, and many great artists have handled them in different ways. This countdown will pay homage to just a few of them.

Starting off our countdown at 10th Place, a particularly dark beginning. Today’s artist is Alice Von Gotha!

Alice Von Gotha (not sure what her true name is, since that appears to be a rather obvious pen name) is one of the most recent interpreters of the Alice stories to come about, but this does not make her any less worthy of placement on my countdown. I wasn’t able to find out much about this artist - her “biography” on her website is really just a mission statement of what she hopes to accomplish with her art, and why she is an artist - but a few things are clear after looking into her: aesthetically, she loves the Gothic, the bizarre, and the twisted…and she also really, REALLY likes the “Alice” stories.

In short, a lady after me own heart.

Von Gotha actually has tackled the subject of the “Alice” stories more than once: in 2011, she released a series of photographic art pieces based on different scenes from the books. Presumably, this series - “Alice in Underland” - was in response to the Tim Burton movie the previous year. Later on, in 2015, she illustrated a series of greeting cards themed around the Carroll classics. These images were collectively called “Alice’s Dream.” Still later, that same year, she made a series of paintings - “Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast” - which seemed to blend the imagery of Wonderland with the colors and skeletal iconography of Dia De Los Muertos. These early works culminated in her ultimately deciding to illustrate and publish her own omnibus edition of the two Alice stories, entitled collectively “Alice’s Cabinet of Curiosities,” in 2017. This same book was actually re-released as an adult coloring book later on.

Despite the odd title, “Alice’s Cabinet of Curiosities” really is just the original books. The titling refers to the illustrations and how they are handled, and of course, that’s what we are to discuss. Von Gotha’s illustrations work differently from most editions of the stories: instead of illustrating specific characters or scenes, each chapter of the books is accompanied by a single frontispiece illustration (24 pictures in total) INSPIRED BY characters, scenes, or concepts from whatever is in the chapter of focus. The twist? Each of these monochrome illustrations is meant to look like an exhibit in a museum, or - as the title of the omnibus would imply - a Victorian Cabinet of Curiosities. Most (though not all) of these exhibits involve bones (both human and animal) and signs of gruesome physical deformity, yet none of them are especially nightmarish, and all of them are imaginative. The book itself describes the artwork as “dismal, yet beautiful,” and I do believe that is an accurate assessment. These ink-and-paper images are all morbid and macabre, yet there’s a sort of pleasant fascination to them; they feel less frightening, and more sad, if that makes sense. Looking back on times gone by that are long gone, preserved only in memory and unable to be properly described with words. Given some of the themes and motifs of the stories that underlie the absurd adventures Alice goes on, this seems appropriate.

The only reason Von Gotha’s gorgeously decadent artwork takes the bottom spot is very simply this: I’ve always been “iffy” towards this particular form of illustration, especially with the Alice books. Carroll wrote the books to be illustrated in wider detail, and while this format and style is intriguing, it doesn’t alway serve the WRITING the best way possible. When the books say “look at the picture” in reference to certain characters or moments, it’s not always possible to do that and get a good idea of what is going on. There’s one other edition I like that will come later in the list that has a similar problem. As it stands, Von Gotha does some beautifully dark work here - dreary, eerie, and yet with a strange sentimentality to it - but I personally still like other editions more.

Come back down the rabbit hole tomorrow as I present Number Nine! Don’t be late! ;)

#countdown #list #favorites #best #4th of july specials #alice in wonderland #alice's adventures in wonderland #lewis carroll #literature #illustration #art #artists #illustrators #top 10 #number 10 #alice von gotha #alice's cabinet of curiosities #artists in wonderland

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 2 years

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I’m here since May 2019 and I’d like to brainstorm with you about the Big Proof of Love post if that’s alright, Stuck.

I remember that ask too, but I never believed and I’ll tell you why. Not only L warned us about the circus: she also was on board with them. The NY Pride 2019 picture from a CS account was a huge tip that things were fine between the girls even with the PR in it’s beginning stage. We also had several other hints like it while L kept interacting with the Diva. For me this 2019 fight didn’t happen, because they were simply sticking to their own plans.

I was a huge enthusiast of your MOM theory, but now that the PR is over maybe we should take another look at it. I don’t think anymore that her plans were to leave Epic to be independent. The Diva was never the savior like DaBaby plays in the mv and Camila’s image may have been stained a lot the last couple years, but not to a point of making her less profitable. At least until 2025, that’s when I think her contract with her management ends, I don’t see her going independent. I remember lots of asks about how damaged her image was and how her fans were leaving, but they started to repair that image and the fans came back even before the PR breakup.

In my opinion, her plan could be to leave Epic for another label negotiating a better contract that gives her a little more control than she has now. For me C&L parted ways with the Diva and his team just before or right after the pandemic started. I remember L’s first attunement live when she said no one needs to be seen right now, just after the first yawnmila stunts. Since then she’s being hell of shady and always pointing betrayals and fake friendships.

About L leaving Columbia, I think C could’ve helped, but not the same way you think. When Prelude was out she was emphatic that going independent and owning her masters at such young age wasn’t something she was expecting and that many artists dream about it, but can’t at the beginning of their careers and how she was lucky to be able to do it. So it wasn’t something they planned, it was probably a opportunity that came along and they took it.

You see, usually a label pays in advance from six to seven figures when they sign an artist. It’s not a lot of money for them to pay back considering the money they make with sponsorships and other incomes, but take look at Prince’s saga with Warner. Despite having millions of dollars, the best lawyers that money could buy and a huge fan base even he couldn’t get out of his contract. He did get away with certain loopholes, though.

And that’s what I think happened with L, she found a loophole. As much money as the PR could have brought C, still would be really difficult for her to leave Epic, and here I think her management plays a decisive role against it, because sometimes it’s not only about money. Camila signed her solo deal with them late 2016/early 2017, but for how long or how many albums? With what specifications? It’s yet to be discovered. I have a feeling the her deal with them ends before the one her managers. Hopefully 2022.

Lauren on the other hand, signed with Columbia in 2018 and with RECORDS CO in 2019. Maverick in fact played a huge role in her signing with them and you can see it in that picture from when they signed the deal: we have Tara, Larry Rudolph, Lauren, Barry Weiss and others. So they were not fighting over her, they actually got her. And even signed to both labels somehow she managed to change her management from Maverick to Brenda and later to Elena and now to Chantal. Which tells me she learned not to sign long terms contracts with any management.

With all of this info I believe two things could’ve happened: she found a loophole/breaches in the contract or she managed to get really important information from the big sharks. In both cases she could’ve had enough cards to negotiate with them to go independent, own her masters, but still with the condition to have Sony as her distributor, something she would need as an independent artist. She could have chosen a distributor outside Sony, so I don’t know if this was something she wanted or agreed to.

Also, in my opinion all 5 girls image contracts with Xfactor are still active somehow, because the others keep postponing their debuts. If it was just a matter of money why wouldn’t Beyoncé or Rihanna, huge N supporters (or anyone else with money really), help to buy her out from RCA or whatever label she’s signed to? You see? Remember the rumor that A’s label dropped her due to 5H contracts interference? I do and I think it’s pretty plausible. So clearly it’s not just about money.

For me Milamoon deactivated is more related to her management than with her plans to go independent. I really don’t think she can take this route for now. Do you know that the bald man is the lead investor in Olipop, right? Not another investor: the lead one. So it all comes down to her being tied to the deals he pushes. Regarding the big proof of love, as much romantic as it is the idea of C paying the labels for L to be free is not realistic, in my opinion. But she definitely could have helped L to find those loopholes in the contract and with the negotiations that ended up freeing her boo.

And without a doubt no matter how hard C situation may be right now, she has L looking for and trying to come up with something to help her too. Otherwise we wouldn’t have so many things happening that doesn’t fit the narratives they’re supposed to sell.

Link: https://thatgrapejuice.net/2019/04/lauren-jauregui-signs-new-expanded-record-deal-with-industry-heavyweight/?amp

Wow... the long ass ask...

Thank you so much for your thoughts my friend. You not only made me remember a lot of things that I forgot about what happened with the girls but you helped me to think about this twice and I really loved it despite that you didn't believe in my theory.

It's absolutely fine. It was my idealistic heart talking there, not my realistic brain and I needed that. A hit of reality.

I need to read all of this again in Spanish but thank you. This helps me to understand everything better 😊👍🏽

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yuexuan · 3 years

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Fiction recommendation 21

Time for some more fic recs because its been awhile since I did them!

1. 幻想农场 (Fantasy Farm)

Author: 西子绪

Farming/slice of life, food fic, supernatural, mythology

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

After being fired, Lu Qingjiu finally decided to return to his hometown to farm.

At first, he started raising a pig, and then he found that the pig could solve more high-level math questions than he could.

After that, he started raising a flock of chickens, and then he found that his own fighting ability was one-tenth of that of a single chicken.

Finally, Lu Qingjiu finally realised that this old home wasn’t quite right… Especially a certain person by his side who constantly stared at him day in and day out.

Lu Qingjiu: “Are you drooling because of the spicy stir-fry I’m holding or because of me?”

Bai Yuehu pointed at the stir-fry.

Lu Qingjiu: “Then can you let go??”

Bai Yuehu reluctantly glanced at Lu Qingjiu’s arm, before loosening his teeth.

Comments:

My first thought is: don’t read this fic when you’re hungry. Every chapter is filled with delicious descriptions of food that’ll make one’s mouth water. The novel makes a lot of references to creatures from the Classics of the Mountains and Seas, which is a delight to learn about. An easy-to-read, fun novel.

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation

2. 全球高考 (Global Examination)

Author: 木苏里

Infinite flow, suspense, action

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

One day, You Huo and his famiIy was puIIed into an exam caIIed the GIobaI University Entrance Examination. Going through exams together with other unfortunate examinees, their Iives are put at stake and they can only Iive by passing each exam. However, something about these exams and the system controIIing it didn’t seem right — lt seemed to be trying to trap the examinees with ridiculous ruIes and strange questions…

There, You Huo meets lnvigiIator 001 who seems to hoId a key to the past he no Ionger remembered and, together, they go through the exam, unravelling the mysteries behind their past and the system.

Tldr: A pair of chaotic madmen work together to go against the examination system while feeding the readers dogfood.

Comments:

I admit that I didn’t like the story when I first started reading it. But as the story progresses, the rules of the examination fall into place and the different examinations got very challenging and interesting. The whole power couple and stranger-to-lover tropes are an added highlight.

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation | Audio drama | Manhua

3. 全球上线 (Earth Online)

Author: 莫晨欢

Infinite flow, suspense, survival, action

Summary:

Six months ago, tens of thousands of huge towers appeared all over the world, floating over cities. No one could do anything about them.

Half a year later, people are used to the towers and learned to ignore them.

One day Tang Mo saw a bug fly towards one of the towers and hit it.

The next day, a child's voice announced to the entire world: Ding dong! 15th November, 2017, the earth went online.

The three iron rules of the towers: (1) The towers shall explain everything. (2) The game time starts from 6:00 - 18:00. (3) All players please try their best to attack and defeat the towers.

Comments:

Another suspenseful infinite flow stories. I love the smart power couple dynamic, how the two of them become powerful when they collaborate, but are also equally capable of defeating the towers’ levels by themselves. Moreover, all the characters don’t have your typical “oh let me be a hero and save everyone” complex. They all weighed the benefits and costs at each turn and are capable of making decisions that best maximize their chances of survival - whether that is ruthlessly killing other players or extending a saving hand. All the powers and items that the players received and the world-building are very unique (especially Tang Mo’s and his book haha). This one is gonna challenge your brain a bit, but definitely worth a read.

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation

4. 不要在垃圾桶里捡男朋友 (Don’t pick up boyfriends from the trash bin)

Author: 骑鲸南去

Infinite flow, transmigration

Summary [from novel updates]:

Chi Xiaochi: fourth-rate citizen at birth, three-time award-winning film emperor, second-rate temper, first-class looks. He crawled his way out of hell on hard mode to become a winner at life.

Then, he was smashed into a vegetative state by a chandelier.

061: Hello, here’s a brief rundown on the scum gong reconditioning system. This system measures the regret level of the scum gong. Every time their regret level reaches one hundred points, you will be able to leave the current world. A friendly tip, usually, through dedication and self-sacrifice, our employees slowly foster a sense of dependency in the scum gongs, gradually making it so the scum gongs can’t live without them.

Chi Xiaochi: How many regret points is a complete loss of reputation and standing worth? How about a fall from grace? Or wanting something but never being able to obtain it?

061: ……

Comment:

Don’t let the title fool you. I entered the novel thinking it’s some meet-cute modern-day slice-of-life comedy, but it turns out to have some really good angst and adventure moments in there. Heck, it’s been awhile since I cried for a novel. :’)

There are ten arcs (i.e. worlds) that the protagonist enters, each with its own backstory, so this novel might feel longer than the usual danmei. Nevertheless, I enjoyed all the details placed into each world and all the side characters. I also like that the protagonist is very smart and cunning and he grows throughout the different worlds. The only con I’ll say to this is that everything proceeds a bit too smoothly, especially with the golden finger of 061, so the protagonist can come off as being too OP. Nevertheless, the ending and last world are just huge tear-jerkers.

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation

5. 迪奥先生 (Mr. Dior)

Author: 绿野千鹤

Comedy, fluff, romance

Summary [from novel updates]:

One day, Zhang Chenfei met a car accident. Fortunately, he didn’t suffer any serious physical injuries. However, due to the impact of the car crash, his brain’s perception of the real world had turned into that of the novel that he was reading prior to the accident. The thing that horrified his wife, Jiao Qi, was… the Smart Brain, Louis XIII downloaded a series of books which meant that his husband would turn into a different character each time!

How will our adorable little wife deal with this kind of husband who seemed to suddenly suffer from multiple personalities?

This novel’s plot focuses on Zhang Chenfei’s changing personality based from the characters in the books, and how his wife, Jiao Qi, deal with every character as he will have to act in sync with whoever his husband’s character is. This is per the advise of the private doctor since treatment of this special condition was still under research.

As they act out their roles, they will gradually discover and learn more about the other, which they’ve never known in their seven years of living together.

Comment:

The amount of second-hand embarrassment and cringe I got from this novel is huge and I love it lol. If you are curious about how cheesy and cliche Chinese romance can get, please do try reading this. It includes some of the worst and most dog blood tropes in a comedic and satirical way, while advancing the main pairing’s relationship at the same time. Truly a fun read!

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation | Manhua

Other quick links:

Fic tag guide

My previous recommendations (mostly danmei + fanfics)

List of novels/fics that I have already read

#recommendation #danmei #danmei recs

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manunelle · 3 years

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High School AU! {Ikesen/Scenario}

I finally finished an essay about brazilian portuguese phonology, so I decided to reward myself by writing cute stuff SHUDHUSHSUDAHS I’ve thought about this scenario ever since I started playing Ikesen (back in 2017, good lord), but I never had the time to write them.

I am thinking really hard if I should turn these into a fanfic or not. Depends on how much time I have to write :(

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, bullying, violence (?MC kicks asses in this scenario lol).

MC moves from her hometown after her parents’ death, and starts to live all by herself. She enters the new school as a sophomore, and has some trouble making friends because she is seen as delinquent by other students. lol. She’s kind of cold towards girls and is always seen shouting at boys (because they are always assholes to her), so everybody kind of knows not to mess with her. She spends lunchtime all alone either on the school rooftop or at the library, and, even though she denies it, she feels lonely.

One day, when she’s on her way to the library, she sees a gray-haired boy getting bullied by some jackass. She kind of saves him by hitting the bully’s head against a locker and knocking him out and drags the poor thing to a safer place (aka the rooftop).

The boy thanks her and introduces himself as Ishida Mitsunari, a freshman. She’s like “whatever dude” and goes back to her alone time.

After that, things start to get weird. And MC kind of gets annoyed by Mitsunari’s friends.

Hideyoshi, a senior, misunderstands the whole situation and thinks that MC was the one who tried to bully his precious kouhai-kun. He goes after MC and tries to scold her, but she just puts her headphones on and ignores him,enraging him more. Big bro tries to touch her shoulder to get her attention back on the discussion, only to be flipped over on his back by an angered MC.

boi. he is so mad.

However, Mitsunari stops the whole argument and fixes the misunderstanding and Hideyoshi feels embarrassed for being such an ass. He tries to apologize but MC has already left.

She also meets Ieyasu and Masamune. Ieyasu, a freshman, is always hiding (from his lovely friends lol) at the library, and he and MC have a passive-aggressive relationship because once they wanted to rent the same book (btw, MC won this fight). Masamune, a junior, is also constantly at the library, but only to drag his friend out of there (Poor yasu). He’s always hitting on MC, but, since he hasn’t exceeded the limit of her patience, she hasn’t kicked his ass yet. Yet.

One week after the “kick Hideyoshi’s ass” incident, she meets Ranmaru by bumping into him and preventing him from falling on his face. Just like an otoge hero lol. Ranmaru tries so hard to be her friend that it’s almost ridiculous. By coincidence, perhaps, he and Mitsunari are in the same class, so now MC has two baby boys trying to blind her with their brightness. They are so precious that she just can’t be rude to them, but she’s not exactly their friend. She just prevents them from tumbling around the school and from getting their asses beat up by the other (assholes) students.

One day, when she’s leaving the school building, Ranmaru and Mitsunari are trying to convince her to go to the karaoke with them and their friends, but she’s like “No. I have things to do, bye.”. Then, they end up meeting with Hideyoshi, Masamune, Ieyasu and two other boys that she can’t recognize.

She tries to pass through them, but is stopped by Hideyoshi, who tries to apologize again. She rolls her eyes and says that she has already forgotten about the whole issue and just wants to get home. Then one of the boys, the black-haired gorgeous one, approaches and looks at her with interest, a wicked smile on his face. He takes her chin between his fingers, not caring about his friends eyes upon them, and invites her to karaoke and maybe later to a more secluded place, just the two of them…

She kicks him on the balls. All the boys wince.

Hideyoshi tries to pick a fight with her. “How dare you do that to Nobunaga-san!” The awaited “Hideyoshi vs MC pt.2” happens and ends with the brown-haired boy passed out on the floor.

A silver-haired boy and Masamune are almost vomiting from laughing so hard, and MC just stares at them like the piece of shit they are. The black-haired boy, Nobunaga, is still on the floor, clutching his crotch with shaking hands and pained tears pricking on the corner of his eyes. Ieyasu has his mouth hanging open, staring at MC with wide eyes. Mitsunari is confused, and Ranmaru is awaiting her next move with anticipation. She sighs and leaves school grounds, swearing that one of these days she really is going to become a murderer.

She gets home in one piece, and is greeted by a message from her neighbour, Sasuke, who saw her arrival through the window. He is probably one of the only people that she can have a conversation without aging 10 years due to annoyance. Unfortunately, he studies in a school across the city, so she doesn’t really have a lot of chances to talk to him besides messages.

Sasuke shares a rent-house with four other guys that she has yet to meet, and he says that they are good friends. He is always inviting MC to hang out with them, but she always refuses the offer. Most of the time, it’s because she’s way too tired to stay up late to watch “Kenshin-san” beating some random dude, but she also is afraid of not fitting in. My girl has some issues. :(

This day had been more tiresome than the others, so she goes to sleep earlier than usual. She wakes up with a lot of messages from Sasuke asking if she’s okay, a lot of messages from Ranmaru and Mitsunari asking if she wanna meet before school (how they got her number is still a mystery)and, surprisingly, she has been added to a groupchat called “Azuchi gang”.

No.

She leaves the group. Mitsuhide adds her back.

Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

She spends the next three weeks trying to hide from the seven boys, who, for some reason, start to follow her everywhere. Everywhere. On the rooftop, behind the library bookshelves, between the outside bushes, and for Christ's sake she swears that she has seen Masamune and Mitsuhide smirking at her through the glassdoor of her classroom.

She just wants peace. :)

One day, Ranmaru drags her to have lunch with them and she kind of just accepts her destiny, too tired to fight. Then, one day turned into another, and another, and she started to have lunch with them everyday, getting to know them better. However, in no way she is their friend. She doesn’t really consider them friends, but they think the contrary.

For some reason, boys stop harassing her, one day appearing all beaten at school. She looks at them with an arched eyebrow, not noticing her acquaintances (as she likes to call the group) glaring at the boys behind her back.

Ironically, girls start to treat her worse, insulting her behind her back but loud enough for her to hear and hiding/stealing her stuff. She soon realizes that it’s because they are jealous of the group’s affection, so, to stop the new and annoying behavior of her bitch classmates, she stops hanging out with them, ignoring them at school and also their messages.

Unaccustomed with loneliness after weeks of hanging out with the boys, she ends up accepting Sasuke’s offer of hanging out. She goes to his house and she meets his friends, soon discovering that her headache will only turn worse.

Yukimura is an annoying shit. Shingen is a flirting shit. Kenshin is a killer shit. Yoshimoto is a fashion shit. Wait, fashion. Oh, wow. She kind of gets along with Yoshimoto, engaging in conversation about clothes and art.

Kenshin doesn’t like her until he discovers that she can kick ass. He loves her now.

She soon learns to recognize Shingen’s flirting lines as a way of being funny (despite failing miserably lol), reminding her a bit of Masamune and Nobunaga.

Yukimura is still an annoying shit. Just kidding dhuhduhdsuhsa They have an “I’ll annoy you until you start crying but if someone else do it i’ll kick their ass” relationship. It’s really precious.

They have their own groupchat, btw

Despite having new friends and hanging out with them after school, she still misses the other guys and feels bet about ignoring them. However, her things are still going missing and she can’t just point fingers and beat the shit of an annoying brat (despite wanting to). So she continues to ignore their existences.

Unfortunately, one day her backpack ends up in the school’s pool, and Mitsuhide finds out about the whole missing objects and bullying stuff. Despite wanting to tease her as a way to take out his anger on MC, he knows that she is sad and trying really hard not to cry, so he just hugs her. This way, she can cry without anyone seeing, right? ;)

The missing objects reappear on her locker, and she tries to pretend to be surprised. She doesn’t do a good job. She starts hanging out with the group again, and this time she recognizes them as her friends.

It’s almost weird how she has changed from “how should I kill you” to “heeeey, Hideyoshi-san, let’s go to that crepe stall after class”.

Hideyoshi thinks she’s cute, just like a little sister, and protects her behind the curtains.

She and Masamune are bffs, always playing around and annoying the shit out of Ieyasu, who tries to hide the fact that he thinks she’s a lot cuter now that she smiles all the time than before.

Mitsunari is her adopted son, thank you very much. If you try to mess with him, she might throw you off the building’s last level.

Mitsuhide is always teasing her, but is always careful to not go too far. Students once saw the two entering a shady alley, and due to their reputations, could only imagine the dirty things they were doing there. Excuse you, how dare you call feeding cats dirty?

Nobunaga thinks she’s hot. She also thinks she’s hot. They once kissed, but they decided that they are better as friends.

Ranmaru kind of has a crush on her, but is afraid of ruining their friendship by confessing it. He also knows about her and Nobunaga, but doesn’t know that they are far from a relationship. Poor thing. :(

She continues to hang with the Echigo squad, of course.

MC and Yoshimoto are bffs. They always go shopping together and share their opinions on each other's clothes. She vented about the Nobunaga kiss situation to him, and he gave a lot of advice and hugs. He’s such a good friend, omg.

Once, she went to watch Kenshin’s martial arts tournament, cheering on him the whole time. He tried so hard not to smile when he heard her shouts. After he won the golden medal, the whole gang went out for ice cream to celebrate the victory.

Shingen knows about the Nobunaga kiss situation, and makes sure that she knows how hard he disapproves of it. Sometimes she thinks that she has two overprotective older brothers, Hideyoshi and Shingen.

She hangs out with Yuki and Sasuke some nights. She goes to their house and they lay on the couch, watching whatever is going on on the tv and talking about anything. Yuki lays his head on her lap and his legs on Sasuke’s lap, so it’s a little hard to leave. Once, Kenshin got home from practice and saw the three passed out on the couch. Their expressions were so cute that he couldn’t resist from taking some pictures and sharing them on their groupchat.

The thing is: both groups don’t know about the existence of the other. lol

Echigo’s gang knows that she has friends at school, but they don’t think she’s as close to them as she is to them.

Azuchi’s gang have their offers of hanging out at night often refused by her, but they just think that she is too tired or has strict parents on her neck. Once, Ranmaru and Hideyoshi saw she hanging out with Yuki and Sasuke and got jealous mad, but, despite trying to follow them, they lost their track (thanks to Sasuke, who thought they were trying to pick a fight adshsuhdsauhdsa).

They didn’t ask about the boys, afraid of making her uncomfortable. However, they did share the news with the rest of the group. Overprotective friends on.

One Saturday night, she goes to the karaoke with Echigo’s gang. She’s having a great time, watching Yukimura and Sasuke singing shoujo anime songs with high pitched-voices while talking about school stuff with Yoshimoto and Kenshin (Shingen’s flirting with the waitress), until she sees her other group of friends entering the place. She waves at them, smiling, and the groups look at each other with surprise and rage.

Fortunately, it turns out that they know each other. Unfortunately, it turns out that they hate each other.

“MCCCCCC, you have been ditching us to hang out with...with...with these savages?!” Hideyoshi cried, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her in a desperate attempt of putting some reason on her mind.

“Um, excuse me.” Yoshimoto intervenes, snatching her out of his hands. Kenshin also gets mad and they all start fighting and talking at the same time.

MC goes back home.

Her headache got worse after that night.

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 3 years

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Hello. I am, as you know, an American. I turned eighteen in 2014, voted in my first presidential election in 2016, and voted in my second presidential election last week via early voting in the state of Texas.

I’m reflecting right now on the difference between those experiences. This is going to be a very self-indulgent essay.

The 2016 election was in my third and final year of undergrad at Texas A&M University. At the time, I was living with a roommate who grew up in a town of 2,000, all of them members of her church. I loved her very much, but she was the most sheltered person I’ve ever met.

I was only a few years ahead of her. My home growing up was deeply liberal about many of the things that counted, but deeply conservative on equally important things. For me, leaving for college was a radicalization speed-run.

I, a good Memphis girl, moved to Texas and encountered for the first time in my life white homogeny and everything that comes with it. I made most of my friends at A&M through a Christian orientation camp that I attended, then worked at. I went to school at a history department that was overwhelmingly male and war-obsessed.

My second semester, I was randomly sorted into a writing seminar on the American Civil War and Reconstruction. There were eight other students in that class, all of them Texans. By day two I had gotten into a open fight with one of my classmates after he used the phrases “one of the humane parts of slavery” and “the secession declarations are moving and beautiful appeals, if you read them,” and “well I’m not going to criticize my own state.”

We got into at least one yelling match per week from that point forward. It was a formative experience for me-- not just him but the seven other students that took his side every time because they just couldn’t conceptualize anything outside of their own experiences, and frankly, I couldn’t either.

It rocked my world to be surrounded by people who told me, among other things, that their high schools flew the Confederate battle flag or Lee was their all time role-model (because he actually didn’t want to secede! He didn’t believe in it, but Virginia did, so he put his own qualms aside and served his country, and that’s what we all have to do). I ran a survey once by knocking on every door in a dorm hall and asking the two people inside why the Civil War happened.

I feel like you can guess the most common answer I got. Only two said slavery. Six didn’t know what the Civil War was.

The last week of the semester, my class read a collection of recorded oral accounts of freed slaves during Reconstruction. My nemesis told me that he “didn’t realize black people actually had it bad.” At the same time, I was struggling with my sexuality, my relationship to my religion, my relationship with my parents, and a handful of newly-diagnosed but long-existing mental illnesses. I wasn’t having fun.

Over the next three years, I tried my hardest to humanize the people that said disgusting things about minorities, poverty, and me personally. I barely won on that one, and I’m actually really proud that I did, even if it took me a few years. I can trace the biggest change in me directly to my nemesis from the history department, the kid that made me so mad that I started arguing back. I was too scared to do that before.

By 2016, I was in full existential spin-out-- a very suddenly liberal kid fighting my whole family, all of my classmates, and most of my friends in an explosive political climate, the first I had ever participated in.

I voted by Tennessee absentee ballot in 2016. On election night, I ordered takeout for me and my roommate, who I knew had voted red. Confident, like pretty much everybody, that Clinton would win, I was trying to show her that I didn’t hate her. She went to bed after dinner, also so certain that Clinton would win that she didn’t bother to stay up.

I sat in front of my laptop sewing a birthday present for a friend (Kenza, actually), while the votes came in. I wasn’t super alarmed when the map turned red. I just figured the blue states hadn’t finished counting yet.

The map didn’t get any bluer. By 1am, I knew what was about to happen. They called it an hour later, while I was sobbing on my floor. I threw up in the bathroom out of pure anxiety. I got two anonymous messages telling me the asker was going to commit suicide. Neither of them responded to my replies. I don’t actually know what happened to them.

I remember riding the bus to class the next morning and distinctly seeing that most of the racial minorities there had swollen eyes from crying. The girl with the pride stickers all over her laptop didn’t show up that day, and I’m kind of glad she didn’t, considering the way some of our classmates in the back were loudly talking about “the gays.” Hope she’s okay.

My roommate came home completely unaware that Clinton lost. I was crying in my room when that happened. I remember showing her a demographic map of who voted which way. She got visibly upset when she figured out what races how. I think she really did feel guilty.

That Thanksgiving, one of my cousins tweeted, “I can’t wait to go argue with my liberal cousin today. The wins. Keep. Coming,” an hour before he walked into my house. Inauguration day was January 20, 2017. I decided to go to law school a week later, the day the president signed the Muslim ban. That’s when I figured out for the first time just how much power the courts have. The last three years have only enforced that.

I got angrier and angrier during law school, egged on by a few friends but more than anything just... finally conscious of exactly how the American system works and exactly who’s behind it. I still live in Texas, farther west now, and I’m working my first legal job. I’m going to be a licensed attorney next week.

I went back and forth for months about how this election was going to shake out. I knew there wasn’t going to be an overwhelming red majority this time, but my big fear was an election close enough that the Supreme Court could take it. That fear doubled last month, at RBG’s death.

I was hoping for a blue enough victory on election night that there wouldn’t be a week of uncertainty, but that was unlikely, and it didn’t happen. I obsessively refreshed my election map all of Wednesday and Thursday, aware that at least some states would flip after mail-in ballots came in, but unsure which would.

Again, my great fear was a blue victory held down by only one state. Given (I would say “any” chance here, but I don’t mean “any” chance because genuinely jurisdiction or facts or legal merit don’t matter to the Supreme Court) an opportunity to make one (1) decision that hands over a red election, please know that a conservative supermajority would take it. I cannot emphasize enough how true that is and how important it is for all of us to grasp that.

Watching Georgia flip was one of the best experiences of my life, and it’s a little hard for me to articulate why, but I’m going to give it a shot here. I’m southern. I’m from the South, and for this conversation it’s really important that I’m from Memphis, a black city and a center of black music and culture.

When people think about the South, they think of the white South, and on some level, they should. It is absolutely essential to understand the white South in order to understand American history. Let me be 100% clear here. That is not a good thing. American majority history is not good. We are not a good country.

It’s near-impossible to understand why that’s true without knowing exactly what happened in the white South and exactly what is still happening there now. With that, however, is another truth that most folks don’t get.

The SouthTM is white and needs to die. The South as it actually exists is partially white yes, but it is also everyone else that lives here, particularly black folks. Southern culture is black, not white. Georgia flipped because the people that have always, always been there finally got to crack apart the conservative machine holding the South hostage.

That’s amazing. It’s fucking mind-blowing. I watched it happen at 3:30 in the morning days after Election Day, and holy shit holy shit, Georgia flipped. Atlanta won. Holy fucking shit.

I would be terrified right now if only Georgia flipped, because SCOTUS would have found a way to throw out a few thousand votes. Inevitable. Absolutely certain on that one.

With a few states of buffer, I don’t think that’s going to happen. I really do think it’s over.

I came home after work on Friday and immediately went to sleep because I hadn’t really done that since Tuesday. I woke up at noon today, checked the map, checked my messages, and saw what happened while I was gone. After that, I went back to bed until 5:30pm. I’m really just getting up now, after most of 24 hours asleep.

I don’t know if I would say that I’m happy right now, but I am overwhelmingly relieved. I’m under no illusions that a Biden victory will solve everything, but I also do think this is a real thing to celebrate. I’ll take suggestions on how to celebrate right now, actually, since I’m finally awake.

I’ll be angry forever, I think, but this is a good thing, and I’d like to enjoy it. If you’re happy right now, hey, tell me about it. I’ll be thrilled with you. I want to hear it. Congrats to all of us. Love y’all.

#that's me rambling thanks and gig em #there are some things to tag here huh #uspol #politics #suicide #this would be a good time to remind everybody that i am white #so take that into account re: Georgia #personal i guess #not comics sorry

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theseshipsshallsail · 3 years

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Oliver has developed a particular fondness for dinner drudgery over the past decade. At thirty-four, he felt a greater appreciation for the twinkle in Samuel’s eyes as he lured some unsuspecting academic into a debate he was destined to lose. The all-too-familiar smirk hidden behind a wine glass as Annella caught his gaze mid-rebuttal, the same mischief written over her features as that of her son’s. He even welcomed Mafalda’s regular fretting about his diminuito waistline as she cleared away what little remained of a feast fit for a king.

And then there was the man to his right. The man who held a cigarette in one hand, and his heart in the other. The man who slanted his head on Oliver’s shoulder as the evening wore on, allowing him to drop a kiss to the riotous curls that drew his fingers like a siren’s call. There were no more secrets between the four of them - though according to Annella there had never been any to begin with - and when Elio yawned twice in as many minutes Oliver found his own jaw cracking in sympathy.

International flights never got any easier, and although they’d managed a short nap on the train in from Milan, they were both flagging fast.

The after-dinner conversation had revolved around his latest manuscript for the past half an hour, and slipping an arm around Elio’s side, Oliver tapped his ankle beneath the table. “You still with me?” he murmured softly, and Elio scoffed as he nestled closer.

“Seulement. One more limoncello and you’ll have to carry me to bed.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Or the last,” Elio said, as Samuel raised a toast in their direction.

“Happiness resides not in possessions or gold, but in the soul. Wouldn’t you agree, our wayward Americano?” he asked, prompting Oliver to back up his argument as he stole the last arancini from Elio’s plate.

“Big results require big ambitions, Sami.”

“And nothing endures but change.”

“Always with the Heraclitus...” Elio grumbled good-naturedly, leaning over to kiss Annella on the cheek. “Bonne nuit, maman. Remind me to show you that biography in the morning.”

“The Piaf?” she asked, and Elio nodded as he rose to his feet.

“There’s a new bookstore just opened in the Village.”

“Che magnifico!” Annella said, stubbing out her cigarette. “Tell me all about it when you’re not falling asleep in your tortelli.” Smiling, she took Elio’s face between her palms. “Dormi bene, piccino. Et toi, Cauboi.”

Oliver laughed as he finished shaking hands with the other two guests - stalwarts of the Bocconi Languages department he vaguely remembered from his brief stint at the university. “I doubt that’ll be a problem. The moment my head hits the pillow I’ll be dead to the world.”

Elio raised an eyebrow. “The dead don’t snore like Anchise’s old generator,” he said with a wink as Samuel rounded the table to join them. “Papà, siamo stanchi. It’s been a long day.”

“It certainly has,” Samuel said, hugging him tightly. “Go! Go! Don’t make me sprain anything by rolling you out of here.” Stepping back, he clasped Elio by the forearms. “I’ll ask Mafalda to save you something if you sleep through breakfast.”

“Molte grazie.”

“Anytime, figli miei,” Samuel said, embracing Oliver in turn. “Goodnight, the pair of you.”

“Thanks, Pro.”

Enfolding Elio’s hand in his, Oliver led him towards the villa, taking the time to appreciate the sounds of nature after six months of city living. One day, he’d love to move here permanently - spend his golden years in the country that spurred his reinvention - but there was no rush. Not when the best part of Italy was a permanent fixture in his life, already.

The house was in shadows when they stepped over the threshold, but they each navigated the lofty hallways with ease as they headed upstairs. It was a journey they could do with their eyes closed, and avoiding the creaky top step out of habit they shut the door to Elio’s room behind them with a quiet click. Their room, technically, but in Oliver’s mind it would always be his. He may have usurped it for six weeks in the summer of ‘83, but the overstuffed bookcase and outdated cassette tapes were like a portal to the past, and it never failed to make him feel twenty-four again.

Conflicting though those feelings might be.

The only obvious difference was the double bed now taking up space along the back wall - though Oliver quite missed the creaky single frames of yesteryear. The shutters were latched apart, letting out the stifling afternoon air, and the bathroom doors were pinned open, turning the space into the large suite that originally befitted Elio’s grandfather.

Toeing off his espadrilles, Oliver watched as Elio fell face first onto the bed. Dramatic as always, he groaned into the crisp, blue sheets, so Oliver hung his shirt up in the wardrobe then walked over to tug off his sneakers, placing them beneath the writing desk where he was unlikely to trip over them come morning.

“I haven’t been this exhausted since I finished that three week stretch with the Philharmonic,” Elio said, words muffled, and Oliver chuckled as he sat down beside him.

“Fifteen hours by plane, and a ninety minute schlep on the Regionale? I think that’s to be expected.” Reaching over, he stroked a palm up Elio’s spine, bunching his t-shirt in its wake. “You can’t stay young and restless forever.”

“Speak for yourself, old man.” Elio shot him a sideways glance. “Why are you all the way over there?”

Over there, meaning beyond kissing range.

“I thought you were too tired?” Oliver asked, and Elio rolled his eyes like the precocious teenager he’d fallen so hopelessly in love with.

“Too tired for Democritus and his atomic theory,” he said, shifting onto his side. “Never too tired for you, tesoro.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Cradling Elio’s cheek in one hand, Oliver felt a hot lick of satisfaction as he brushed his thumb over the smooth skin, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth, then nibbling gently. A soft whine fell between them, and Elio slung his arms around Oliver’s shoulders, legs banding around his waist like a tether.

“That’s better,” he said, half-hard in his jeans. “Just like old times.”

Oliver sniggered. “Someone better warn the peaches.”

“Connard.”

“And a fine one it is, too,” he teased, swatting Elio’s ass through the stiff denim.

The resultant yelp was a thing of beauty as Oliver ran his nose along Elio’s collarbone, savouring his scent. Beneath the sour musk of travel were the sweet notes of juniper and cherry laurel, and sucking briefly at his pulse point, Oliver actually felt the yawn building before Elio was forced to pull away, sighing in frustration.

“This isn’t happening, is it?”

“Define this,” Oliver said, licking away his pout.

They might not be about to set any records for horizontal gymnastics, but the needy whimper Elio pressed to Oliver’s throat was enough to spur him onwards as they quickly rid each other of their clothing. Silver light streamed in through the windows, casting shadows over their naked bodies, and finesse fell by the wayside when Oliver brought their erections together, stroking them both in tandem. Transfixed, he watched the pleasure flick across Elio’s features, treasuring the way his lashes fluttered if he twisted just so - the glazed expression as he kissed him like they had all the time in the world. Leisurely and indulgent.

“I’m going to come,” Elio whispered scant minutes later.

Like it was a secret.

Like it was something precious.

And it was, Oliver knew, as the other man rutted into his palm, shuddering against him. It was there in every touch. Every tender endearment. Elio might wear his heart on his sleeve, but none of his previous lovers had been privy to the true depths of his emotions, and as he threw his head back in release Oliver couldn’t help but chase him over the edge, inarticulate and inelegant in his abandon.

Pearly white covered his fist as liquid fire rushed through his veins, each movement growing slower and slower until they eventually ground to a stop, swallowing each other’s gasps between needy pulls of their mouths. Groggy with sensation, his lungs felt constricted by the memory of how to breathe, yet sweaty, sated - and in dire need of a shower - they lay there in the aftermath, neither of them willing to give in as their eyelids started to droop.

He loved Elio like this. Loved him always of course, but especially like this. With his hair mussed - his face relaxed - his lips swollen as a result of his kisses, and Oliver sighed fondly as he brushed the curls from his forehead, only to receive an incoherent grumble for his efforts. It was his mind he’d fallen in love with first, though. The way he challenged him constantly. Pushed his boundaries day-by-day. Always striving for more.

He’d been a fool to consider walking away. To give Elio up, however begrudgingly. He was a part of him - perfect in his imperfections - and as Elio drifted off between one blink and the next, Oliver banished such dismal thoughts to the shadows of the past, refusing to give them life when his future lay literally in his arms.

“Goodnight, amore mio,” he whispered, and grinning, hooked his toes in the underwear hanging from the bedpost - his, Elio’s, he couldn’t quite tell - wiped the worst of the mess from their painted stomachs, then followed him into a dreamless stupor.

Something was tickling Oliver’s nose as he floated in the trance-like state between sleep and reality. It was a familiar experience, and forcing one eye open he smiled down at Elio’s crown where it rested upon his chest. Their legs were entangled beneath the sheets, the toes of Elio’s left foot twitching beside his calf, and Oliver tapped an idle rhythm along his spine as he squinted at the blessedly silent alarm clock.

It was almost seven a.m, and with zero intentions of moving anytime soon, Oliver watched the dust motes dance in the pink strokes of dawn. He was still foggy, but with his recent promotion and the increased demands of Elio’s tour schedule, moments like these were few and far between in New York, so Oliver indulged himself by listening to Elio’s steady breaths, unwilling to disturb him prematurely.

The villa was quiet and still as the sun climbed higher in the sky, and when Elio burrowed into his neck, Oliver felt the same dizzy thrill he always had, thanking his lucky stars for the man who’d turned his life upside down in the very best of ways.

Sappho once wrote what cannot be said will be wept, and this room had seen it’s fair share of tears at the start of their relationship. Even now, it was hard to believe how close he’d come to losing it all. But like Odysseus, Oliver had returned to his love, and he had every intention of seeing this journey through to completion.

“In the crooks of your body, I find my religion,” he whispered, continuing to smooth random patterns over Elio’s trapezius, and it was all he could do not to moan in response as an arm wrapped around his waist, skimming his burgeoning erection.

“Mere air, these words, but delicious to hear...”

Verbal and cognizant was more than Oliver would usually expect before Elio’s first cup of coffee, but taking a chance, he tilted his face up to see him properly. “Morning, sunshine. I thought you were asleep.”

Elio yawned into the hand at his jaw. “Not with you scribbling Ancient Greek on my ribcage.”

“You caught that?”

“Ovviamente.” Humming, he dug his chin into Oliver’s sternum. “It felt like you were writing your name at first, but then you drew the symbol for pi, and I figured you were just hungry.”

Oliver snickered. “Did you not notice Mafalda’s continued attempts to fatten me up? Maybe I should tell her it’s your hip bones that leave bruises, instead.”

“You love it.”

“More than she’ll ever know,” he conceded, mourning the loss of skin on skin as he eased out from underneath him. “Alright, genius. Since you’re so good at this...” Pushing the covers out of the way, Oliver traced a treble clef from the middle of Elio’s back to his sacrum, finishing it off with a flourish. “What was that?”

Elio smacked his lips. “Too easy,” he murmured into his folded arms. “And a bit crooked. My old music tutor would plotz.”

“Brat.” Oliver smirked as he knelt between his thighs. “Are you challenging my artistry?”

“Might be.”

“Might be, he says.” Chuckling, he ran his thumb up from Elio’s tailbone, sure and certain. “How about my penmanship, then? What letter?”

A pink flush spread over Elio’s cheek. “D,” he decided, squirming slightly as Oliver’s huff stirred the loose curls beside his ear.

“How on earth do you confuse a P with a D?”

“Have you seen the state of your handwriting?” Elio protested, constantly offended by his messy scrawl. “Aren’t you professor types meant to set an example?”

Oliver scoffed. ”Perish the thought,” he said, dropping a lingering kiss to his nape. Elio’s cock lay flushed with need, and though he had no intention of bringing him off quite yet, Oliver couldn’t resist brushing his palm over the underside. “Indulge me,” he continued, stroking from root to tip. “Let’s play a game.”

“What sort of game?”

“An easy one, apparently.” Fighting his own arousal, Oliver followed the thick vein up then back, tugging gently on Elio’s balls. “But guess right, and I promise I’ll take care of this for you when I’m done. How’s that for an example?”

“Your generosity knows no bounds...”

“Ready?”

“Che diavolo!” Elio turned towards him, and Oliver felt breathless as he looked him square in the eye. “Tell me you’re joking?”

“Just a little longer,” he promised, propping himself on one arm to walk his fingers over Elio’s scapula, leaving a thin trail of slickness when he curved it round to his lower back. “Letter?”

Elio settled down with a put-upon sigh. “An S?”

“Correct.” Oliver pressed a fingertip to the freckle on his hip. “Next one,” he said, drawing a diagonal line up to his top vertebrae, then sweeping down to its twin.

“A?” Elio asked, then went rigid as Oliver poked him between his ribs. “Smetilla! That tickles!”

“It’s supposed to.”

“Why?” Laughing, he batted him away. “Did I get it wrong?”

“Not at all,” Oliver said, splaying a proprietary hand over his right buttock. “But next time, let me finish first, yeah?”

“Never heard you say that before.”

“Don’t be jealous of my stamina, Perlman.”

“Stronzo.” Elio arched into his touch. “Another.”

“Eager, are we?”

Elio snorted into his forearm. “Eager. Horny. Non vedo differenza.”

“Fair enough.” Oliver angled his thumb and forefinger towards Elio’s spine, fluid and precise. “This one’s harder,” he said, pinching them together.

“V?” Elio asked before he could go any further, and Oliver tutted as he began a downwards line towards his tailbone.

“Au contraire, mon chéri,” he said with a playful growl. “Not till I’m finished, remember?”

It was the work of a moment to complete the action, and Elio shivered as he glanced back at him through heavy lashes. “Y,” he muttered, shoulders hitching with a snigger. “A few inches can make all the difference, sì?”

Oliver smiled. “So I’ve been told,” he said, the slight breeze from the window lifting the hair from his forehead. “And what can we derive from that?”

Elio had a specific weakness for his public speaking voice. One which Oliver wasn’t above exploiting at every opportunity.

“Fuck…”

“Nope.”

Slender fingers circled his wrist as Elio cursed him out in several languages.

“Spell it for me,” Oliver encouraged, turning his lips to the salt-gleam dimple above his ass, before remembering to narrow it down. “In English, per favore.”

“S-A-Y,” Elio answered obediently, already sounding flustered. “Say.”

“And you thought you’d never complete your Masters…”

“Attaccati a sto cazzo.”

“Rude.” Oliver licked a stripe across his earlobe. “Be a good boy, and I’ll cling to yours, though.”

“Santo Cielo…” Elio huffed in annoyance. “I really hate you right now.”

“No you don’t.” Oliver snuck an apologetic kiss to his temple. “Not even a little bit,” he told him, copying the exact same pattern from earlier. “Second word, if you please.”

“Another Y?”

“Another Y,” he confirmed, watching as Elio clutched the pillow in a white-knuckled grip.

He remained perfectly still, however, so Oliver drew a deliberate line along his left flank before placing the pad of his thumb back at the beginning, then dragging it to the right. Once more, from the middle, then again from the bottom, and Elio was almost panting when he finally stopped.

“E,” he whispered, causing Oliver’s heart to skip a beat.

Because this was it.

No turning back.

There was an urgent pressure in his throat, and when he tried to swallow it down, the emotions damn near choked him. “Last one,” he muttered, snaking his index finger in another winding curve, and Elio waited until he lifted it away completely before answering.

“That’s an S,” he said, then paused to string all three letters together. “Yes?” Freeing his wrist, Elio rolled over to face him. “Say yes?” he asked, sleep-rumpled and adorably confused, so Oliver hummed something vaguely agreeable as he mouthed at his jawline, needing the rough scratch of stubble to ground him. “I don’t understand.” Brows knit, Elio pushed up on his elbows. “Say yes to what? What is it that you want?”

Oliver had spent weeks trying to find the right words, but ultimately, only three would suffice.

“To marry you,” he said, light-headed - and slightly concerned he was about to vomit. He hadn’t felt this terrified since he’d knocked on the adjoining door nine years ago, nothing but a broken heart and the vain hope of forgiveness to his name. “A piece of paper won’t change anything. I know that. But I told you once - out on that very balcony - that I loved you. All of you. Body, mind, and everything in between. You make me happier than I ever thought possible, Elio. This… you… you’re it for me.”

“Cuore mio…” Elio released a plaintive sigh. “I love you, too,” he whispered, taking Oliver’s cheeks in his hands as he sat up against the headboard. “But the courts... you know they won’t recognise -”

“Legally, no,” Oliver agreed, shifting to his knees. “Not yet. But we can do this our own way. Have a ceremony for us alone.”

“Not alone,” Elio corrected absently, hooking his heels behind him. “Together.” His lips pressed into a firm line, and the seconds in which he blinked back at him were the longest of Oliver’s existence. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” he asked, and instead of answering, Oliver reached for the small box he’d hidden in the bedside cabinet upon their arrival.

“Open it?” he asked nervously, and Elio made a sound that was almost a laugh, high-pitched and fluttering.

“Only you...” he said, and if it weren’t for the tell-tale crack in his voice, Oliver might be worried. “Only you would wait until I’m jet-lagged and sporting a semi to ask me the second most important question of my life.”

“Just a semi?” Oliver slid a palm to the crease of his thigh. “Hang on. Second? What was the first?” he asked, and Elio smiled as he gently butted against him.

“Does this make you happy?”

“Oh...”

Elio held his gaze. “So important you asked me twice, in fact.”

“I did, didn’t I?” No doubt there would be a third time, too. He’d always admired the sight of Elio in a tux - slightly more so than the sight of him out of one - and Oliver resolved there and then to fit it into his vows. “Still, that was before your rejection of all things cliché. How’s a man supposed to plan a proposal around that?”

“Quelle question!”

“Such high maintenance,” Oliver murmured, tipping his chin. “But I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

It was a struggle to kiss whilst grinning inanely, but they gave it a good try nonetheless.

“Are you going to open this or what?” Oliver asked, bracing himself as Elio cracked upon the box to reveal the antique gold and onyx band.

“That’s my grandfather’s ring,” he whispered softly.

“It is.” Giddy, Oliver watched the sunlight glint off the heirloom’s polished surface. “Sami wanted you to have it. He’s had it cleaned and resized for the occasion.”

“My father?” Elio raised an eyebrow. “Plotting again, were you?”

“Not as such,” Oliver said, remembering the two word inscription on the inside. “I couldn’t care less about government approval, but I needed to know we have it from those whose opinion I actually value.” His heart tripped over itself as he chuckled apprehensively. “I think your mother’s already chosen a hat,” he confessed, and Elio groaned.

“She’s going to invite everyone we’ve ever met.”

“She’ll not be inviting anyone if you don’t say yes,” Oliver teased, and the look he received could cut glass.

“Idiota.”

“Charming.”

“In what possible scenario would I ever say no to you?” Elio asked, reeling him in by the Star of David around his neck. “You’re a part of me. You are me.” Leaning in, he nuzzled into his hairline. “Oliver… you’re the best person I’ve ever met. Credimi. You’ve always been my forever.”

“Cor cordium.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t even -” Oliver froze. “Wait. Did you just -”

“Yes,” Elio repeated, eyes bright. “Yes, Oliver!”

It didn’t matter that his own vision was blurred. That the full extent of his vulnerabilities were on display. That Elio saw just how lost in him he truly was. Relief purged his body, sparks detonated across his skin, and Oliver made a chorus of his name as he freed the ring from its velvet cushion. It was cool to the touch when he picked it up - the weight of it heavy with promise - yet with unsteady fingers he slid it onto Elio’s left hand, sealing his declaration with a heartfelt kiss to his knuckles.

“Please tell me these are happy tears,” Oliver whispered, pulling him into his arms.

“Why? Afraid I’ll get a nosebleed?”

“Way to spoil the mood, Casanova…”

“The sweetest pleasures are those which are hardest to be won,” Elio quoted, studying the black inlay almost reverentially.

Oliver studied him instead. “You like it?”

“È perfetto.” Elio sniffed as he ducked his head. “I want to get you one, too. If you’ll wear it.”

“Wear it?” Oliver’s lungs were far too tight, but at least that meant he wasn’t dreaming. “Why would I ever take it off?”

“And change my name. Officially, this time.”

His smile was so wide it hurt his cheeks. “Anything you want, sweetheart,” Oliver said, clutching Elio close, pressing his face into the hollow of his shoulder. This was their life, chosen and built together. Theirs to have, now and for always. “As long as I can call you mine… anything at all.”

#cmbyn #fanfic #elio x oliver #sequel #fluff and smut

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

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just some thoughts without pretending to be the truth. i have a feeling like inn 2017-18 there was some weird (but not bad) tension between vmin. like jm was getting to know himself and tae was.. observing? idk. the way they glared at e/o and touched was sometimes too intimate and jm went totally shy. but know smth kinda changed and i wonder what is it now? bois are getting older? and some moments in LGO tae doesn't look at jm i guess. like it's him shy now. AMA live is where he looks past him

Okay before I get into it I’d like to ask three questions, not necessarily directed at the person who sent in this ask but rather more into a general discussion round:

what is the sort of behavioral pattern that a ship needs to fulfill in order for people to think “oh, they might be into each other” and “oh, I think X ship is in love”, that sort of thing? Is it loud, almost over the top behavior taken straight out of the older generation Idol handbook? Is it constant physical contact, constant affection through double-meaning dialogues?

if vmin were to exhibit such behavior, show us lots and lots of affectionate interactions on camera in nearly every piece of content we have, tell each other every chance they get that they love each other when the cameras are rolling, would that make them seem more real, or would that cheapen the ship and only lead people to say “vmin is fan service and there’s no chance they are actually real”?

if we agree on the hypothesis that vmin might by now be in a relationship of a few years, and they are both 25 years old, so grown men at the height of their careers, do you really think they would feel the need to showcase their relationship and legitimate romantic feelings to each other in front of the camera? Would they really want to allow millions of people (some with good attitudes and respect, many though without respect and only hate on their tongues) into their relationship?

These are the sort of things I think about and I’m always curious to know what others think and how things would be like if vmin were to behave like certain others, if those who doubt them would stop, or only see it as more of a reason to doubt.

In any case, to a certain extent I agree with the person who sent in this question, that yes vmin’s on camera behavior has changed, that while in 2017/18 it was more Jimin who was shy, it’s now Tae who appears shy more often. But, I don’t see that as bad or negative or sign of things not going well. At all. Since last year I feel like Tae’s attitude toward being an idol and everything that entails has changed a bit, as did his mentality especially after he went through burn out and generally had a hard time in the first few months of 2020. But that I think had nothing to do with Jimin. I think their relationship, however you’d define it, was fine for most of it, and I think after so many years of knowing each other (it’ll be nine this year) and being close friends and perhaps more, they know each other, inside and out, and know how to act in certain situations and depending on how the other is feeling.

But while there have certainly been instances in 2020 where Tae appeared shy when interacting with Jimin, there have also been moments where he didn’t. Take for instance their interview where they spoke about all their albums. Once they got to Wings and BS&T, Tae spoke about how he remembers Jimin’s charisma and how tempting he came across in it. Or the interview filmed in that little corner at a diner or something where Jimin was supposed to say which moment in Dynamite is his favorite where Tae touched his shoulder and Jimin basically completely blanked for a moment before smiling, giggling, and saying that his favorite part was Tae’s. Or that one interview where they sat next to each other talking about Dynamite and then all of a sudden they were holding hands for almost the rest of the interview. Or Tae cupping Jimin’s hand during a photoshoot which we saw in the behind the scenes glimpses from when they were filming the Baskin’ Robbins ads.

More below the cut since this kind of turned out a little longer than anticipated, I hope you don’t mind, anon:

I think a big deciding factor in how vmin behave with each other and how they come across on camera is where they are, as well as most certainly how they are feeling on that day. Tae said himself that on days where he’s feeling good, going to work and doing what they do is fun and he has no problem with it, yet when he’s not feeling well, it’s hard and he has to push himself more to do things. Besides, there is definitely a distinction between how vmin behave when they know a camera is watching, and when there isn’t one. It even shows in something as silly as, remember MOTS ON:E day 2 at the end of Hobi’s performance of EGO when the members join him? Vmin are dancing with each other, standing facing each other with Jimin doing some kind of almost like “I’m performing magic on you” hand gesture toward Tae BUT the second he realizes the cameras are on him, Jimin straightens up and pretends like that didn’t just happen and no one saw anything. Or their side hug on day 1 and silly dance during day 2 during Dionysus, that, too, was something not visible on the main cam, just a side one which they knew would not be available during the replay, so less people would see it. Or even that famous moment of them holding hands on the airport on Tae’s birthday in 2019 on the way to NYC after going up the stairs. They thought no one could see, so they held hands like it’s the most natural and normal thing for them to do because that’s just how they are.

On the other hand, a performance where I agree with the anon that sent the question is that during BangBangCon in June when they performed Friends. Admin 2 already back then told me how you could see how both of them, but especially Tae, were shy during that performance. Jimin in his March vlive talking about Friends said that Friends is a meaningful song for him and that it will be an emotional moment in and of itself if they one day get to perform it together on stage, and you could truly see that. They both seemed somewhat nervous, shy, and a little unsure in some of their movements, but it also showed a glimpse at their dynamic, how it was Jimin who hugged Tae from the back, who opened his hand to lace their fingers together and hold it, almost like that dynamic of “I’m large but he’s in charge”, you know? Why is that? Because not only must it have been meaningful to them to perform together in such a way, but also Friends is a deeply personal song to them, probably more than any of us truly understand. (song analysis by Admin 1) But, at the same time, Tae has no issue with being brave online, as in to go on Wevserse and proclaim that 95z is love, or like today, go and post seven pictures out of which three were of Jimin (4 if you also take into account the one with the mirrors) or to make Jimin’s birthday the password while playing games with ARMY. Perhaps the difference is that on Weverse, Tae is in total control of the situation, it’s a place where no editor will cut the scene or edit it, but whatever he’ll say and post, that will be exactly how it is. Of course people can misconstrue his words, but that’s something no one has any control over ever, and thus not the point.

The way I see it, sometimes they allow themselves to be silly together, to show each other affection and do more cute things, like Tae going to Jimin’s room in ITS and rolling over him, giggling and just being silly and then sitting next to him and caressing Jimin’s back since he was sick. Or Jimin waking up and limping outside to see where Tae is and ask if he’s all right that morning. But in the grand scheme of things BTS have so little privacy, so few things that are truly just theirs and not something they share with us, so they guard the small things precious to them from prying eyes and treasure it. And that’s the case for their relationship, regardless of how you want to see it, as well. It’s theirs, not ours. We’re just privileged enough to catch glimpses of it sometimes.

Like remember on the day they had their interview at KBS in the summer due to their BBH100 #1 where the TV station even showed their arrival? Remember how Tae and Jimin first shared their hand sanitizer, since Jimin used too much of it, and later on when they walked next to each other, first they looked at each other, like a silent question passing between them of “are we doing this?” and concluded that yes. Which was followed by them holding hands and Jimin even raising their hands together toward the camera with an almost a little challenging looking in his eyes, like he wanted to show that they belong together in such a public manner. Tae looked a little shy in that moment as well, but he agreed to do it anyway, so his shyness doesn’t necessarily have to be connected to Jimin, per se, but more the situation they are in and who’s watching them.

Also, a final thing that always fascinates me is how, when other members don’t show their affection in every piece of content we get, no one questions their love for each other, no one questions if X is real even if those two don’t interact all too much for a while, people still think they’re close and whatnot, as example. And yet when vmin don’t interact in every interview and every other piece of content we get, immediately the questions begin if they are still close, if they are still together, if they’ve had a fight or if they broke up. And if they do show affection, it’s immediately equated to “it’s just bros being bros”.

Ask yourself: is an interview about their new song or album really the right place for “ship” moments? Is every performance the right place for it? And what if on that particular day one or the other or both simply weren’t feeling well? Or what if they simply hugged or whatnot before the performance and thus felt no need for a repeat on stage? They are professionals, they are musicians, and if we do get absolutely adorable moments like Tae taking a piece of confetti out of Jimin’s hair during their duet moment in LGO, that’s a precious gift, and not something we should demand/expect seeing every time. Would those moments still feel as special as they do now if we got the every time?

#answered ask #vmin #taehyung #jimin #lets have a little discussion

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tthael · 3 years

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I apologize if you’ve already written about this before, but one thing I’ve been wondering about your Indelicate version of Eddie is in regard to his occasional tendency toward more (for lack of a better/less serious-sounding term) “aggresive” actions (e.g., throwing the lotion bottle, throwing the water, etc.) directed toward Richie. I know it was hinted at that the urges to aggress may sometimes be/have been the result of repressed or misconstrued attraction, but I’m wondering if some of it is also a result of Eddie’s injury and the related feelings of a lack of control over his own body? Like hypothetically, if Eddie were never injured or if we fast-forward to him completely healed, do you think that moments like that would still happen? Or am I just really reading too much into the fic and making up this aspect of it? Hope that makes sense - I just love your characterization of Eddie and I want to make sure I’m understanding as much as I can!

I actually haven’t written about this before, and I think that it’s a good thing that I take the time to meditate on it now, because I don’t want the idea that throwing things at your romantic partner is, like, a good thing.

So a lot of my thoughts on Eddie’s aggression derive from two specific aspects of his portrayal. The first (chronologically in Eddie’s timeline) is the portrayal of Eddie as high-strung, snappy, and verbally combative in IT Chapter One (2017). Within the last year and a half I saw a post that pointed out that some of Eddie’s aggression--especially in interacting with Richie--probably derives from the high-stress situations of a) being hunted by an alien clown demon and b) being abused at home. I had a college professor discussing a history and trauma class point out that, “Traumatized people don’t always behave well.” There are the usual caveats that explanations are not excuses; however, I think that the constant knowledge that he has to return to Sonia’s house and the persistent alarms telling him when he has to take medication, so that even when he’s apart from her he can’t get away from her interference, means that Eddie’s under high pressure. And then you get to the point where all of the children in Derry are being hunted by an actual monster, and it’s a wonder that Eddie behaves as well as he does, because I certainly wouldn’t.

I usually like to incorporate some of book!Eddie’s dreamy introspection into his internal narrative in Indelicate, and I think that some of his pressures are relaxing now that he’s a) no longer living in a house with Sonia, b) acting specifically in ways that maximize his own agency (going where he wants with whom he wants, eating what he wants, actively rejecting much of her influence). However, he’s still got a lot on his plate, and some habits die hard. This is why I have moments of Eddie waiting with the perfect snappy comeback on his tongue, and then stopping himself because he knows it’s something he doesn’t mean. He doesn’t actually want Richie to never talk again, he loves it when Richie talks, and he’s struggling towards sincerity. I personally have a lot of difficulty letting go of the put-down jokes in favor of being sincere with the people I love, so I thought I’d give Eddie several moments of consciously choosing to be honest and kind with Richie.

The second influence on Eddie’s relationship to physically “lashing out” is his introductory scene from IT (1986), where he’s leaving home and Myra is chasing after him demanding explanations and wailing about how terrified she is. I know that there are lots of analyses of this scene and thoughts on Myra versus Sonia, and I’m not interested in those right now; however, what caught my eye was that Eddie sees Myra’s distress and his first thought is something along the lines of “you might as well hit her”--not that he wants to hit her and he has nothing to lose, but that his causing her emotional distress is as bad as physically abusing his wife. (I can’t recall at the moment whether Eddie’s section comes before or after Bev’s introduction, but I want to say that it’s before, and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that Bev and Eddie’s very different home lives are contrasted.)

So I thought, that as a boy child without a father, raised and abused by his single mother--and considering his issues with (as I write it) suppressed gay feelings, and the sort of “glass closet” I write him with--Eddie’s concepts of masculinity are probably pretty toxic. I think that in order to maintain control over Eddie, Sonia probably got very emotionally manipulative when he resisted her at all, especially as he got older and taller and physically stronger than her, and that she probably cried out things like “Eddie, you’re hurting me, how can you hurt your mother like this?” and made Eddie feel like the abuser (which is, I’m given to understand, a frequent tactic of abusers: reversing the roles to make the victim feel apologetic and guilty). I’m specifically thinking of the way that Gillian Flynn writes manipulative white women who weaponize white women’s fragility--Adora in Sharp Objects, since that’s actually the only Gillian Flynn book I’ve read so far. I think that Eddie would be very conscious of what he perceives as his capacity to be an aggressor, and it would be one more way that Sonia could keep him docile.

Later, with Myra--and I’m writing Myra more sympathetically in Indelicate than I did in Things That Happen After Eddie Lives, so I’m not interested in getting into the “is Myra abusive?” conversation right now, because I’ve written her both ways--I think that Eddie likely had a sort of learned helplessness about his own agency with Sonia that he then transferred onto his relationship with Myra. In Indelicate, I write him with a lot of reluctance to volunteer any information towards her, or his emotional state, or to make any of his wishes known (frequently she shoots them down as too extravagant, the way that I talked about Eddie’s relationship to money and luxury and Myra refusing a larger bed).

I write Eddie as largely unaware of his attraction to men until his near-death-experience, but only because he did not allow himself to connect the dots between what he thought of as physical symptoms (tunnel vision on hot man in coffee shop = optic nerve impairment, see doctor); but I think that Eddie was profoundly aware of his unhappiness in his marriage and just tried to reason with himself that everyone felt like that, and everyone was miserable and suppressing their own wants and needs, because that’s just what marriage is, and any other approach to his marriage would make him abusive, so Eddie and Myra’s marriage was emotionally volatile and extremely stressful.

Which is to say that Indelicate Eddie is a powder keg when Richie gets to him.

Again, I don’t think that throwing things at your romantic partner is an acceptable mode of interaction and I don’t want any readers to get the idea that that’s the underlying message of Indelicate, because it’s not. The scene with the moisturizer is derived from something that happened to me years ago (I was Richie, the guy I had a crush on was Eddie) involving a wayward Frisbee; the scene where Eddie tries and fails to throw a drink at Richie is derived from an anecdote of the early days of my parents’ marriage (my mother was Eddie), one that my father’s coworkers and boss loved to talk about and his best friend still brings up when they hang out.

However, Eddie’s relationship to physicality is also deeply informed by a tumblr post I saw over a year ago that talked about how Eddie grew up being told that he was fragile and delicate and sickly, and how Richie did not give a shit about any of that and was more than willing to just grapple him. For this fic, I decided to lean into that idea: that Eddie longs to be treated as though he’s solid and healthy and strong, and he finds a lot of relief in Richie <i>not</i> treating him gently. But because Eddie is actually physically injured in Indelicate, Richie is being careful not to break him while also dealing with Eddie’s very real (and largely unvoiced) desire for physical contact. It’s not an accident that at the end of the chapter in which Richie and Eddie have a shouting match that Richie wrestles Eddie to the floor and pins him and blows a raspberry on his belly--which is incredibly juvenile at the same time that it’s a display of Richie’s physical capabilities and Eddie finds that bizarrely attractive.

So, on top of Eddie’s desire for physical contact, his extreme stressors, and his lifetime of maladaptive coping mechanisms--the other thing that I consider when I write his dynamic with Richie is that Richie is not physically intimidated by Eddie at all. This is not because Richie is stronger than Eddie (he is) or larger than Eddie (he is). This is because there was a time in which Richie and Eddie found it perfectly acceptable to grapple each other as a form of interactions, because Richie and Eddie have known each other since they were seven years old. I even like to think that at one point, Eddie was the taller of the two, because Richie hit a really ridiculous growth spurt somewhere around the start of puberty and Eddie was something of a “late-bloomer,” and Eddie silently seethed about it through their entire adolescence.

So when Richie and Eddie lash out at each other--largely Eddie, because I think Richie, with his fear of the werewolf and of losing control and hurting someone--they’re building on sort of a lifetime of informal physicality. Stitchy does something similar in their Richie/Eddie fic where elements of roleplay always appear in their romance, because they were kids who played pretend games together, and when you have a bond like that with someone, it does permanently shape what sort of interaction you do and do not find acceptable. I also included a flashback into childhood where Richie gets angry with Eddie and very deliberately and methodically pushes him down on the ground and Eddie cries, not because Richie physically hurt him (he didn’t), but because it wasn’t in good fun there, that was Richie deciding to throw him around because he knew it would upset him.

So there’s a lot going into Eddie’s physically aggressive responses in Indelicate--the toxic masculinity that dictates the way that men are allowed to express anger and the ways in which they are allowed to touch each other; the profound stress that Eddie has endured for his whole lifetime without getting many better coping mechanisms; the feeling of lack of control of his physical body; a regression to childhood habits; and a deep sense of relief that Richie (being big, strong, and a man) is not vulnerable to him in the way that Sonia convinced him she (and later Myra) were.

I hmm’d and haww’d over a scene in the most recent chapter in which Eddie strikes Richie with an open hand (it’s a little slap on the chest, and I wanted it to come across very like the sort of corrective smack to the back of the head that I can imagine any of the Losers issuing to Richie back in 1989 when he shoots off at the mouth), because that’s not something I’d be comfortable doing to a romantic partner myself. Richie thinks nothing of it and turns it into a dirty joke, but I do need to get more into Eddie’s decision to touch Richie in kind ways in direct refusal of that “you construct intricate rituals that allow you to touch other men” facet of toxic masculinity.

I know it’s a ridiculously long answer, but it’s a serious issue and I wanted to give it the greatest possible consideration instead of writing something flip. Because both the incidents you named (ones I didn’t even realize formed a pattern, to be honest) are drawn from real life, I can’t say that they’re moments that are influenced by Eddie’s physical disability, but I do think they’re more influenced by his emotional state. I also think that as some of his stressors come off his plate and he gets more comfortable having an adult relationship with Richie, he’s going to stop throwing things at him. I even had Eddie stop after throwing the water, not just because it was ridiculous but because he realized how out of line he was in that moment. Recognizing when you’re out of control in an argument is, I find, an important part of self-improvement; and learning to walk away or to reset is a valuable skill.

Thank you so much for reading!

#anon #my fic #indelicate #indelicate spoilers #now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate #nwigsmsi

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infinite-xerath · 3 years

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Runeterra Retcons 2: Aatrox and the Darkin

I did another one. There’s one more character I have in mind to do, but then I’ll probably take a small break from these))

Aatrox is an interesting case; while I don’t necessarily believe his current lore is BAD per se, I think he’s more-so a case of missed opportunity and wasted potential. Aatrox, to me, reeks of a case where Riot gave zero forethought to the future of this character when they created him. To fully understand why I feel this way, we’re going to have to take a step back and analyze some of the history of League itself, as well as some characters connected to Aatrox. So, with that all said, let’s look back at the history of this angry red swords and see if we can make sense of the changes given to him over the years.

Aatrox was released into the game back in 2013, under the title “The Darkin Blade.” Now, what’s a Darkin, you ask? Well, at the time, we didn’t really know, and it kind of became obvious that Riot didn’t either. Let’s have a read of his original lore, shall we?

I was always a fan of Aatrox’s original lore: an ancient, mysterious figure who shows up to help you turn the tides of a war, but only after you’d effectively surrendered your own humanity for the sake of victory. The fact that there was an entire race just like him became the center of fan speculation of years, and countless theories cropped up as to who and what the Darkin even were. Some assumed that they were related to the Seven Deadly Sins, while others thought they might be akin to the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Some thought they might just be a dying race, and that some might actually be benevolent, unlike Aatrox.

Unfortunately, Riot wouldn’t give us an answer for quite some time. All we knew was that Aatrox was a Darkin and that he looked a lot like typical modern depictions of demons. That does raise the question though: why didn’t they just make Aatrox a demon? He helps turn the tides of conflict with no apparent goal beyond just prolonging the chaos and suffering brought about by war. A lot of his voice lines even painted him as a psychotic “artist” of sorts, prior even to Jhin, that viewed conflict and bloodshed as elegant. Well, to better understand the full picture here, we need to take a step back and examine the broader picture here.

Now, admittedly, we’re delving in some speculation territory here, as it’s impossible to really say what Riot’s original plans for the Darkin were, if any. That being said, the inclusion of something like a demon would have had a lot of implications back in the day, as the Runeterra as we knew it then didn’t really have a “Heaven” or “Hell.” Sure, we had “angels” with Kayle and Morgana, but they were treated more like how Asgardians are treated in Marvel: more like a race of super powerful aliens than actual divine entities (keep that in mind for later.) If anything, what little we knew of an “afterlife” in League came from Yorick’s old lore, in which he acted like a psychopomp similar to Charon from Greek myth.

It wasn’t until Tahm Kench came out in 2015 that Riot properly introduced demons as a concept in the lore, retconning several other champions like Evelynn and Nocturne into being demons. For a bit of context: in Runeterra, demons are effectively malevolent spirits from the spirit realm that feed on negativity: fear, pain, hatred, and so-forth. When other characters started getting turned into demons, a lot of people, myself included, thought that Aatrox would meet the same fate. After-all, they hadn’t actually DONE anything with the “Darkin” outside of Aatrox’s bio, and he functioned in a manner similar to them. Some even theorized that the Darkin would be made to represent a specific breed of demon, and this theory gained even more traction when Tahm Kench was given special voice lines for taunting near Aatrox.

Then, on July 12, 2017, we got Kayn, and with him: Rhaast. Rhaast is the second Darkin character added to the lore: a talking scythe with an eye that possess its host. Kayn is able to hold back Rhaast’s influence, keeping it to a single arm through the use of shadow magic, but depending on your actions in-game, you can see what happens if Rhaast manages to win their struggle and take over Kayn’s body completely. With Rhaast’s introduction, it pretty-much cemented that the Darkin were living weapons that took over the hosts of their wielders, which made sense given that Aatrox’s sword was always hinted to be alive and have a mind of its own. In fact, the idea of the Darkin being living weapons, or at least being bound to their weapons in some way, was one of many fan theories raised since Aatrox’s release all the way back in 2013.

Unfortunately, the new champion’s bio didn’t give us a lot to work with. Rhaast was the weapon, but Kayn himself is the Champion, so a lot of his bio tells us more about Kayn’s backstory: how he joined the Order of Shadows, how he acquired Rhaast in the first place, etc. While this isn’t exactly a problem, it gave us no further information on the Darkin; what they really were, where they came from, and why there are only five left in existence all remained mysteries for the fans to speculate about. It still wasn’t even clear if the Darkin were connected to demons, or if they were something else entirely.

Now, it’s around this time that another theory began to start blowing up in popularity; technically, this was another old fan theory, but now that we had a general idea of what the Darkin actually were, there was another Champion wielding a living weapon that fans started to speculate might be connected to them: Varus. Varus is an old character, and though we won’t be deep-diving into him too much into this video, allow me to give you a tldr of his original story.

Varus was an Ionian archer set to guard the Pit of Pallas, a giant hole where his people had long ago sealed some unexplained corrupting purple entity that seemed like it maybe should have related to the Void somehow but didn’t. Varus resisted the entity’s influence for years until Noxians one day showed up and started slaughtering his people, wanting to get their hands on Pallas so that they could use it as a weapon because of course they did. Varus was faced with a choice: stay and guard the temple built around the pit or go back to his village and help his people fight. Varus chose the former and was apparently SUCH a badass archer that he single-handed kept the invaders at pay with his arrows, though this choice came at a cost: when Varus returned to his village, everyone he knew and loved was dead, including his wife and son.

Enraged, Varus returned to the pit and struck a deal with Pallas: he would allow the entity to inhabit his body in return for vengeance against the Noxians. Varus proceeded to wander the world with a bow made from the entity’s own solidified essence in the hopes of finding and killing… Basically every Noxian he could. Yeah, Varus wanted nothing short of full-on genocide, starting with the surviving soldiers that attacked his village. There’s a lot to go into there, but you’ve probably figured out the relevance of this by now: Pallas turned itself into a bow for Varus to take his vengeance in exchange for possession over his body. Not too dissimilar a living sword and scythe who also possessed people and had an insatiable hunger for death and destruction, right?

Riot seemed to agree, and in 2017 they released a music video along with a comic and an entirely new bio for Varus. Together, these updates served to not only retcon Varus’s backstory (a topic for another episode) but finally give us an update as to who and what the Darkin were. In a word: they were aliens.

In short, the Darkin were a race from another planet/dimension drawn to Runeterra for its abundant use of magic. They tried to conquer the planet, causing the Great Darkin War, which ended only when the races of Runeterra figured out how to seal the Darkin in their own otherworldly weapons. Varus, Aatrox, Rhaast, and two others were trapped in their weapons, which an unnamed warrior queen (possibly an Aspect) used to drive back the other Darkin and seal the portal to their world. The five that were imprisoned in their weapons were then scattered and hidden across Runeterra.

This, at last, brings us back to Aatrox’s new bio:

“One of the ancient Darkin, Aatrox was once a peerless swordmaster who reveled in the bloody chaos of the battlefield. Trapped within his own blade by the magic of his foes, he waited out the millennia for a suitable host to wield him - this mortal warrior was corrupted and transformed by the living weapon, and Aatrox was reborn. Though tales of the darkin have now passed into legend, he remembers only too well the destruction of his race, and wreaks his vengeance one sword blow at a time.”

So Aatrox was made into a general for an alien race who sought to finish what his people started by having the Runeterrans fight and slaughter one another in a series of bloody conflicts… For a few months, at least. Literally the next year in 2018, Aatrox finally got his visual and gameplay update, turning him into the World Ender we know today. Along with this came entirely new lore for him, as well as the Darkin.

Insert lore here

So… The Darkin are no longer invading aliens, but Ascended who went nuts and were trapped inside their own weapons. In other words, the Darkin went from being a race to being more of a derogative term for fallen demigods. What’s more, Aatrox received a VERY substantial alteration his character and personality: he went from being a war-loving “artist” who causes conflict for the sake of it to being a tortured soul who wants to die so badly that he’ll end all of creation to do it.

Now, like I said before: I don’t think this backstory is bad. I don’t hate it. It does a lot to flesh out Shurima as a region, gives us more info on the Ascended, and it adds a bit more nuance to Aatrox as a character. Imagine being trapped inside a weapon, losing all access to your senses. Imagine that the only chance you get to move is when you take over someone else’s body, transforming it into a warped version of your own former glory, only to realize that you’re on a time limit and the only way you can continue to walk, talk, see, hear, or feel anything is by slaughter’s people and consuming their blood. Imagine spending CENTURIES trying to find a way out, only to repeatedly learn that any means to free or even kill yourself ends in failure. Imagine being SO desperate to rest that you’re willing to end all of existence just to find peace.

I like Aatrox’s new story. I do. Honestly, the only real complaint I have is that Aatrox doesn’t exactly have a PLAN for how he aims to end existence? Like, he calls himself a World Ender and a god-slayer, but we only know of one god he’s actually slain (Pantheon) and given that Runeterra is still around, it seems like his world-destroying count is still at zero. Honestly, if he wants to end all of existence, I feel like turning the Void, a reality-consuming threat that he has FOUGHT BEFORE would kind of be the obvious solution? Honestly, I imagine that just chucking the sword into the Void would be a good way for him to end his own existence, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, if I like Aatrox’s new lore, why am I rewriting it? Simple, really: even if I overall like his current lore state, I feel like the road we took to get here was… Kind of long and unnecessary. It seems kind of obvious looking back that Riot didn’t have a clear long-term plan for Aatrox or the Darkin, as years of unanswered questions followed by multiple retcons kind of entails. From being the last survivor of an ancient race, to MAYBE being a demon, to being an alien, to finally becoming a fallen demigod. Aatrox’s history is practically a whole story in-and-of-itself, and I’ve long wondered how things might have turned out if Riot had, you know, picked a direction and gone with it a bit sooner?

So, here’s the basis of my rewrite: I’m gonna try and incorporate elements from all of Aatrox’s various backstories into a single, coherent biography. Can I manage it? Well, I’ll leave that for you all to determine…

When the skies are blackened by the flames of war and the earth is dyed red with blood, Aatrox draws near. For as long as conflict has existed among the races of Runeterra, the Chaos Blade has manifested to those deemed worthy, turning the tides of battle in exchange for the flesh of whoever wields it.

The true origins of the Darkin have long been lost time. Some say that they are the first weapons ever forged, corrupted by the malice of those who have wielded them over ages. Others claim that the Darkin are a rare breed of demon, of whom only five remain. Only one thing is certain: the Darkin exist only to bring death and destruction, and none embrace this more than Aatrox himself.

Tales of a wicked blade manifesting amidst the heat of battle exists across all cultures, from the frigid north to the blistering south. The sword is said to appear before warriors on the cusp of defeat: those who would give anything, even their own lives, for the sake of victory. Those who wield the Chaos Blade are granted inhuman strength and endurance, often haled as heroes for turning the tides of battle. With every foe slain, however, the Chaos Blade grows stronger, consuming the mind of its wielder and warping their flesh. In time, the hero becomes a mindless vessel, slaughter all in its path until slain. When its host falls, the Chaos Blade returns from whence it came, waiting for the moment that another might heed the sword’s call.

For ages this cycle persisted, until the day the sword manifested before a warrior of Shurima’s Ascended Host. After the Fall of Icathia, the Sunborn were called to face the encroaching threat of the Void, wielding celestial might and magic great enough to crush a hundred mortal armies. Before the Void, however, even the mighty Ascended began to falter.

The horrors summoned by Icathia steadily pushed north, consuming everything in their path and twisting the earth into maddening shapes. As their numbers dwindled, many Sunborn called to retreat, hoping to regroup within the capital and think of a plan. As some fled, however, the Ascended general Aatrox stood his ground. Pushing his draconic form to its limits, Aatrox struck down one abomination after another. When his great blade, soaked in the Oasis of the Dawn itself, was wrenched from its grasp, Aatrox fought with tooth and claw. Even if he were to fall, Aatrox would do everything in his power to slay as many Voidspawn as possible, resigning himself to death so the other Sunborn might rally their forces.

It was then, amidst the sea of madness woven by the Void, that Aatrox saw a sword embedded into the twisted earth. The blade seemed to call out to him, and Aatrox took it without question. In an instant, the general was filled with unimaginable strength and fury, and his allies watched in amazement as Aatrox fought with strength of ten Ascended warriors. Inspired by his newfound fury, the Sunborn rallied, their fighting spirits renewed at last.

When the conflict against the Void drew to a close, Aatrox was haled as a hero among heroes, though many of his former allies became wary of him and the wicked sword he now carried. Some suggested that the blade should be destroyed, while others, such as Aatrox himself, argued that its power would be instrumental if the Void ever returned.

Resentment and suspicion began to grow amongst the Sunborn, and the cracks only grew larger as Aatrox aided the other Ascended in summoning weapons similar to his own. The warriors of the Ascended host began to distance themselves from one-another and the capital, taking up posts across Shurima’s vast empire. They remained united only in the shared goal of protecting their empire.

And then the Sun Disc fell.

Following Xerath’s Ascension and the death of Emperor Azir, years of growing tensions erupted across the desert. Some Ascended raced for the chance to fill the now-vacant seat of power for themselves, while others insisted on finding a means to restore the royal dynasty. Debate soon turned to bloodshed, and Shurima was engulfed in a war that lasted centuries. It wasn’t until the Aspects of Targon intervened that the war was finally brought to an end.

Those wielding Darkin weapons were bound to their armaments with powerful magic, in-turn trapping the wicked weapons in the physical realm. The Darkin were scattered across Runeterra, and yet the souls of the Ascended persisted, stripped of bodies and senses.

For ages, Aatrox stewed within the sword that had become his prison, his soul slowly being corrupted further and further by the Chaos Blade until the two had become a single being. Ages passed and the sword was slowly forgotten, until a band of thieves broke into the Darkin’s prison in search of ancient treasure. When the thieves’ leader touched the sword, his mind was overwhelmed in an instant, his body transformed into a twisted likeness of Aatrox’s Ascended form. The Darkin slew the other thieves in an instant, drawing strength from their blood before breaking free of his long confinement.

Aatrox emerged into a frozen landscape with but a single goal: to bring about a war so violent, so destructive, that it would be the end of all things. He would be the World Ender, herald of a conflict to end all others. With every foe he slays, with every swing of his sword, Aatrox sews the seeds for violence and carnage, drawing one step closer to his magnus opus.

So, what did you think? As stated before: my primary goal this time around was to try and combine Aatrox’s various origin stories into a single narrative. Admittedly, I could only manage to do this by adding an air of mystery to the actual origin of the Darkin; maybe they’re demons, maybe they’re aliens, maybe they’re something else entirely. I know that might seem like a bit of a cop-out, but a large part of what made the Darkin so interesting to the community in the first place was the air of mystery surrounding them, and the room it offered for speculation and theorizing.

Another main concern, though, was that I wanted to find a way to blend old Aatrox’s personality with his new one. The thing I miss most about the OG Aatrox was that, despite being obsessed with war and bloodshed, he wasn’t just another rage monster. He was calm and composed, and a lot of his lines hinted at a deeper philosophy toward the inevitability of conflict rather than just “I wanna kill everything because I’m angry!” League has way too many of those, in my honest opinion. I thought that, by combining his mind with a semi-sentient sword that brings about carnage because that’s simply its PURPOSE, a little but of that old Aatrox might shine through.

But, as always, this is all just my opinion; how I, personally, would have gone about reworking the character. If you prefer Aatrox as he currently is, or think my version of the story is inferior, that’s fine! Feel free to share your thoughts and comments, but please, let’s try to keep it civil. After-all…

The last thing we want is to start a war over this…

#Outofpower #Runeterra Retcons #League of Legends

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theliterateape · 3 years

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I Like to Watch | Zack Snyder’s Justice League

by Don Hall

Mythology is fun.

As a kid I loved reading Edith Hamilton’s book on the Greek gods and the myths. Hercules, Perseus, Apollo, and Hera—this fell completely in line with my love for superhero comics. The strangely petty human traits of envy, greed, and lust combined with the power to level cities make for some great storytelling.

Zeus was basically Harvey Weinstein in the retroactive revision we’re mired in today. If Harvey could’ve changed into a golden animal and boned unsuspecting ladies looking for careers in Hollywood I’m pretty certain he would. The gods and demi-gods of the Greeks dealt with daddy issues, mommy issues, bad relationships, and fighting. Lots of fighting. Sometimes for the good of humanity but more often for the glory of winning.

Zach Snyder is in the business of tackling myths and reframing them with a style all his own. His career has become its own myth.

From Dawn of the Dead (not so much a reboot of Romero's zombie mythology but a philosophical reimagining of the genre that arguably jumpstarted The Hollywood fascination with it), 300 (a borderline homoerotic take on the myth of the Greek underdog), and Watchmen (a ridiculously ambitious attempt to put one of the most iconic takedowns on the potential fascism of the superhero legend machine ever written) to his nearly single-handed hack at answering the Marvel juggernaut with Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, Snyder is in the artistic business of subverting and re-envisioning the mythologies we embrace without even seeing them as such.

Snyder's style is operatic. It is on a grand scale even in the most mundane moments. The guy loves slow motion like Scorcese loves mobsters and Italian food. When you're tackling big themes with larger than life stories, the epic nature of his vision makes sense and has alienated a good number of audience members. With such excess, there are bound to be missteps but I'd argue that his massive take on these characters he molds from common understanding and popular nomenclature elevates them to god-like stature.

Fans of Moore's Watchmen have much to complain about Snyder's adaptation. The titular graphic novel is almost impossible to put in any other form than the one Moore intended and yet, Snyder jumped in feet-first and created a living, breathing representation of most, if not all, of the source material's intent. Whether you dig on it or not, it's hard to avoid acknowledging that the first five minutes of Watchmen is a mini-masterpiece of style, storytelling, and epic tragedy wrapped up in a music video.

Despite a host of critical backlash for his one fully original take, Sucker Punch is an amazing thing to see. More a commentary on video game enthusiasm with its lust for hot animated chicks and over-the-top violence that a celebration of cleavage and guns, the film is crazily entertaining. For those who hated the ending, he told you in the title what his plan was all along.

The first movie I saw in the theaters that tried to take a superhero mythology and treat it seriously (for the most part) was Richard Donner's Superman: The Movie. Never as big a fan of the DC characters as I have been of Marvel, it was still extraordinary to see a character I had only really known in pages to be so fully realized. Then came Burton's Batman movies. The superhero film was still an anomaly but steam was gaining. Things changed with Bryan Singer's X-Men in 2000, then Raimi's Spiderman, and those of us who grew up with our pulpy versions of Athena, Hermes, and Hades were rewarded with Nolan's Batman Begins. A far cry from the tongue-in-cheek camp of the 1966 TV Batman, Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne was a serious character and his tale over three films is a tragic commentary filled with the kind of death and betrayal and triumph befitting the grand narrative he deserved.

I loved Singer's Superman Returns in 2006 because it was such a love letter to the 1978 film (down to the opening credits) but by then, the MCU was taking over the world.

Snyder's first of what turns out to be an epic storyline involving perhaps seven or eight movies was Man of Steel. It was fun and, while I had my issues with the broodiness of Kal El, the odd take on Jonathan Kent, and a redheaded Lois Lane, I had no issue with Superman snapping Zod's neck. Darker and more tragic than any other version of the Kryptonian, it was still super entertaining.

Then came Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. By 2016, Marvel had codified their formula of serious characters wrestling with serious issues of power and responsibility peppered with lots of good humor and bright colors. Snyder's desaturated pallete and angst-filled demi-gods was not the obvious road to financial competition.

I'll confess, I hated it. BvS felt half-rendered. Lex Luthor was kind of superficial and played as a kind of Joker. The whole Bruce Wayne wants to kill Superman thing felt undeveloped and the "Martha" moment was just stupid.

When Joss Whedon's version of Snyder's Justice League came out in 2017, I was primed for it to be a turd and I wasn't surprised. So much of it didn't work on any level. I dismissed it as DC trying and failing miserably and was comforted by the coming of Thanos.

Following Thanos and the time heist was COVID. Suddenly, we were internationally sidelined and the movie theater industry caved in. Streaming services started popping up like knock-off smartphones and Hollywood was reeling, doing anything and everything to find a way back. Since Whedon's disastrous helming of Snyder's third act, fans online had been demanding to #ReleasetheSnyderCut but no one was ever really taking them seriously until all movie production was shut down for a year.

The stage was set to remedy a mistake (or at least make some bucks on a do-over of a huge box office failure). Snyder had left the production in part because of the suicide of his daughter and in part due to the constant artistic fights over executives looking for the quippy fun of the MCU but he still had all the original footage. Add to that the broiling accusations that Joss Whedon was "abusive" during the reshoots, the path seemed destined. For an additional $70 million and complete control, Snyder delivered a four hour mega-movie streamed on HBOMax.

Of course, I was going to watch the thing as soon as I could.

The Whedon version opens with an homage to the now dead Superman (including the much maligned digitally erased mustache on Henry Cavill). The SynderCut opens with the death of Superman and the agony of his death scream as it travels across the planet. It's a simple change but exemplifies the very different visions of how this thing is gonna play out.

Snyder doesn't want us to be OK with the power of these beings unleashed. He wants us to feel the damage and pain of death. He wants the results of violence to be as real as he can. When Marvel's Steve Rogers kicks a thug across the room and the thug hits a wall, he crumples and it is effectively over. When Batman does the same thing, we see the broken bones (often in slow motion) and the blood smear on the wall as the thug slides to the ground.

The longer SnyderCut is bloated in some places (like the extended Celtic choir singing Aquaman off to sea or the extended narrations by Wonder Woman which sound slightly like someone trying to explain the plot to Siri). On the other hand, the scene with Barry Allen saving Iris West is both endearing and extraordinary, giving insight to the power of the Flash as well as some essential character-building in contrast to Whedon's comic foil version.

One thing I noticed in this variant is that Zach wants the audience to experience the sequence of every moment as the characters do. An example comes when Diana Prince goes to the crypt to see the very plot she belabors over later. The sequence is simple. She gets a torch and goes down. Most directors which jump cut to the torch. Snyder gives us five beats as she grabs the timber, wraps cloth around the end, soaks it with kerosene, pulls out a box of matches, and lights the torch. Then she goes down the dark passageway.

The gigantic, lush diversity of Snyder’s vision of the DC superhero universe—from the long shots of the sea life in the world of Atlantis to the ancient structures and equipment of Themyscira— is almost painterly. Snyder isn't taking our time; he's taking his time. We are rewarded our patience with a far better backstory for the villain, a beautifully rendered historic battle thwarting Darkseid's initial invasion (including a fucking Green Lantern), and answers to a score of questions set up in both previous films.

Whedon's Bruce Wayne was more Ben Affleck; Snyder's is full-on Frank Miller Batman, the smartest, most brutal fucker in the room. Cyborg, instead of Whedon's sidelined non-character, is now a Frankenstein's monster, grappling with the trade-off between acceptance and enormous power. Wonder Woman is now more in line with the Patty Jenkins version and instead of being told about the loss of Superman, we are forced to live with the anguish of both his mother and Lois Lane in quiet moments of incredible grief.

To be fair to Whedon (something few are willing to do as he is now being castigated not for racism or sexism but for being mean to people) having him come in to throw in some levity and Marvel-esque color to Snyder's Wagnerian pomposity is like hiring Huey Lewis to lighten up Pink Floyd's The Wall or getting Douglas Adams to rewrite Cormac McCarthy's The Road.

I loved Snyder's self-indulgent, mythologic DC universe.

So much so that I then re-watched Man of Steel and then watched the director's version of BvS (which Snyder added approximately 32 minutes). The second film is far better at three hours and Eisenberg's Lex Luthor now makes sense. Then I watched Zach Snyder's Justice League a second time.

After nineteen hours of Snyder's re-imagining of these DC heroes and villains, I saw details that, upon first viewing, are ignored or dismissed, but after seeing them in order and complete, are suddenly consistent and relevant. Like Nolan or Fincher, Snyder defies anyone to eliminate even one piece of his narrative no matter how long. With all the pieces, this is an epic story and the pieces left at the extended epilogue play into a grander narrative we will never see.

Or maybe we will. Who knows these days?

#I Like to Watch #Zach Snyder's Justice League

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phangirlof · 3 years

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Atelophobia (02)

Description: Atelophobia- the fear of not being good enough or imperfect. Don’t let your ego win.

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: College! AU, Angst

Word Count: 4.1k words

(A/N: I apologize for the wait, first part came out in like 2017, however the it will also be linked here) x

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

It was the only thing you’d been able to say or think. You’d fucked up. Big time. There was no way around it. That was the bottom line.

To Sehunnie: Sehun please answer my calls

To Sehunnie: Please babe

To Sehunnie: We need to talk

To Sehunnie: It’s not what it looked like, that was nothing. It meant nothing. Please baby, im begging you, answer my calls.

Forty-three minutes later and still no reply. You slammed your phone to the ground, acting on impulse and listening to the distinct noise it made as it shattered. Tiny shards of glass lay in your phone’s wake. Your phone was one of your most prized possessions, and you knew you’d regret doing it sometime within the next few days, but right now? You couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Sehun hadn’t talked to you since before the kiss with Baekhyun, which happened almost a month ago. You were going insane. You text and call him only to get no reply. You had gone to his house several times, but he was never there when you showed up, probably because he knew when you were free and knew what time he should leave to avoid you. Your last hope was always that you might see him in class, however he hadn’t graced you with his presence there either.

“Just give him time. He just needs to think everything out before he talks to you.” Your best friend had said last time you called her, and every time you called seeing as how it was always about the same thing; Sehun. It didn’t even occur to you to think of anything else to talk about. He had consumed your every thought. He was the only coherent thought your brain could muster up. You knew it was unhealthy to be this obsessed over the whole situation, but how could you bother concerning yourself with anything else. Nothing mattered, not until Sehun talked to you and you guys worked this stupid mess out. As you sat at home, avoiding homework, housework, and ultimately everything, all you could think about was your boyfriend, and the recent wedge in your relationship, Baekhyun.

Too many thoughts ran through your mind and none of them made sense, however they all lead back to one thing. Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun, had kissed you in front of your very insecure boyfriend causing him to quit talking to you, for how long you still have no clue, and not to mention he had been trying to talk to you throughout the course of the last few weeks. Of course you never let him get past a ‘hey babe’ before you were running off in the other direction. He was the root cause behind Sehun avoiding you. You weren’t going to talk to him just to make things worse. You had even talked to your teacher about not pairing you and Baekhyun up again, seeing as how that’s what started things in the first place.You finally left your broken phone lying on the kitchen floor, and went to your bedroom. The door slammed behind you, as it often did here recently. You took a seat on the edge of your rosy pink bedspread. Sehun had bought it for you last christmas. Call it cliche, but you loved anything pink, and he knew he couldn’t leave the store the moment his eyes landed on it.

Your eyes scoured over the dirty room before you. You had never been a neat person, but the current state of your room was worse than anytime before. Sehun would usually crack a joke about how one of you might accidentally get hurt if you didn’t clean up.

“One day I’m gonna fall right on my face just trying to get to your bed.” You remember him saying one day. “I’m telling you, I’m gonna break my nose, and probably your favorite lamp.”

Sehun would actually be disappointed with all the trash and dirty clothes piles lying around right now. “This is ridiculous Y/n.” You could hear him now, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The slam of the front door ripped you away from your thoughts. “Y/n, I’m home.” Your mom yelled from downstairs. You didn’t move an inch from where you laid, nor did you say respond.

“Will you help me with the groceries?” She called to you from the kitchen. Once again, you didn’t reply. Instead you slipped into a pair of shoes Sehun had bought you last year, and headed out to the car.

***

“Can we talk?” Your mom asked as she knocked on your bedroom door. She would’ve walked straight in had you not recently gotten in the habit of locking the door right behind you. Besides keeping yourself hidden away in your room, you also kept yourself buried within your bedsheets, wearing one of the many hoodies you stole from Sehun as well as a pair of his sweatpants that he left over at your place for when he spent the night. You inhaled a deep breath. You didn’t want to move a muscle, let alone get out of bed, but you knew your mother was worried about you. These days you barely spoke a word to her or your sister. Not to mention the only times you ate was when she forced you to come out of your room. Really and truly the only time you did anything was when she forced you to.

You shoved the blankets covering you to the side and got up to unlock the door. Your mother entered promptly, not that you had noticed because as soon as you turned the lock, you climbed back into bed. “I know it's been hard the way you and Sehun split, but this might be for the best.” You were shocked at your mother's words. “For the best? We’ve been together for almost seven years now, and you say it's for the best?”

“Just hear me out-,” Your mother began, but you stopped her. “No, this whole mess is just some stupid misunderstanding, but he won’t give me the time of day long enough to hear me out. But you think it’s for the best?” You shouted. You didn’t mean to, but you started getting worked up.

“Don’t raise your voice at me Y/n. Sometimes even the best of things come to an end. We don’t always get a happy ending, and sweetheart that’s just life.” She hadn’t said much but you were fuming. That was far from anything you wanted to hear. “You know what? Fuck you Mom! How about you be there for me? How about care, or even just think about how I feel? But instead of being an actual parent or a shoulder to cry on, you just brush all my feelings to the side like they don’t matter.”

Your mom went to defend herself, but you continued before she had the chance to speak.

“And this isn’t the first time you’ve done this to me. Any fight Sehun and I had, you said it was my fault. You never even hear me out before you’re finding a way to blame it on me, regardless if it is or isn’t my fault. Anytime I ask for advice you give me some half-assed crap that doesn’t even make sense because you don’t care. And you never did.” You channeled all your anger into your hands, breaking whatever came in contact with your fists.

Nothing registered as your fists slammed against anything in reach. All you knew was the burning rage coming from deep within you. Everything, all your emotions and the bullshit laced words your mother spoke to you fueled the anger in your hands. You heard glass shattering beneath your palm, but you didn’t stop. You wanted everything broken. You couldn’t stand being the only thing around in need of repair.

Your mother wrapped her arms around you as tightly as she could, tearing you away from your violent outburst. You didn’t even realize it and you were still just swinging, reaching out for anything to break or shatter.

“Please stop, just stop!” You mother sobbed. Her voice finally broke your trance and you just went limp in her arms and started crying yourself. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel so invalidated or that I didn’t care. I love you, I swear I do. And I’ll be better.” Her words shattered your heart and you cried even harder. You never thought she’d apologize and especially not actually take your side for once.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” She cried.

It took you a moment to form more than just sobs but eventually you managed out a weak, “I love you too” and you guys continued just like that, crying in each other’s arms until your sister burst in, eyes wide from the scene in front of her.

“Are you guys okay?” She asked, peeking in from behind the door.

Your mother loosened her grip on you and turned towards the door. “Yes, we’re fine. We just had a really important conversation and now things are okay dear.”

Your mother quickly wiped the tears on her cheeks away with her shirt sleeve. After she was done, she did the same thing to you with her other sleeve. You couldn’t help but smile at her words. Okay. Despite how broken you still felt from Sehun’s cold rejections, this did feel okay. You and your mother were seeing eye to eye for the first time in god knows how long. And for now that’s all you needed to keep pushing.

***

Two weeks later

“Sehun, you’re being ridiculous dude. Talk to her. There’s no reason that two months after that little kiss with Baekhyun, you still won’t talk to her.” Chanyeol said before shoveling a handful of fries into his mouth.

“It’s not that simple, you didn’t see what I saw. And I’ve told you that over and over again.” Sehun had been trying to shift his focus away from Y/n, but his loyal to a fault best friend was not helping. Whatsoever.

“I don’t care. We both heard Baekhyun talking about it with all his douchey friends. He set her up. He knew you were coming and he wanted to stir up drama. Besides, you’re hurting yourself for no reason and you’re hurting Y/n even more. You know that she would never ever do anything to hurt you, so by putting up this wall you’re only ruining your chances of fixing this mess. Go talk to her dude, seriously before you do something you might regret.”

Too late. “Listen, I’ll talk to her when I’m ready.” Sehun muttered, more than ready for this conversation to be over.

“And when is that gonna be? Next month? The month after that? Six months down the road?” Chanyeol gave Sehun his all knowing look that he was way too familiar with. They both knew Chanyeol was right, but Sehun would never admit that to his face. He always was, but Sehun was stubborn. Way too stubborn. He knew what the right thing to do was, but his feelings were hurt. So so so hurt. He had spent months trying to tell himself nothing was wrong and all these problems were just in his head. Then the moment he was ready to put his relentless thoughts to rest, Byun Baekhyun happened.

The image of who he thought was his soulmate and Baekhyun together, kissing, played in his head over and over and over again. No matter how hard he tried to erase it, the picture was forever burned in his memories. He would never be able to forgive Baekhyun for that. They had been friends at one point. Even though they’d grown apart these last few years Sehun had expected at least a little bit of respect from his former best friend. Someone he and his family had welcomed into their home many times.

“I get it, okay? I should talk to her. But Yeol, please let me do that on my own terms. I’m not ready for that conversation yet, and when I am I’ll talk to her. Please just change the subject.”

Chanyeol let out a defeated huff. “Alright, I’ll drop it.”

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol effortlessly switched the subject, not that Sehun was keeping up. He needed to talk to Y/n. There was no way around it anymore.

“So anyway, are we meeting up at the park or do you wanna get together before then?” Chayeol asked but not before slurping down most of his watered down soda.

“What, why?”

“Don’t tell me you forgot.” He said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “We were gonna meet up for the movies in the park? The movie theater is having like a whole thing. You said you’d go with me.”

It had completely slipped his mind. “I’ve got homework dude. I can’t.”

“Homework? For the classes you’ve been skipping?”

Shit. “You got me. I’ll be there dude.”

“Thank you. Don’t ditch me last minute because I will come find you.”

“I won’t, i won’t.” Sehun muttered.

“Alright, now I’ve gotta go run some errands, but meet me at 7?” Chanyeol quickly gathered his things and rushed off, yelling a quick “See ya later,” over his shoulder to Sehun.

All Sehun could do was sigh. He still wasn’t ready to talk to Y/n, but he needed to. He should’ve already done it by now.

The past is the past, you can’t change it now.

***

Sehun regretted this. He regretted this so much. He should’ve tried alot harder to get out of these stupid plans with Chanyeol. Why did he ever agree to this? It was cold. So cold. Despite the many layers he had on, the wind managed to find a way to blow right through all of them. He kept rubbing his hands together hoping to get some kind of warmth back to them seeing as how the moment he stepped foot into the park, his fingers had gone numb.

“This was so so stupid,” was one of the only coherrent thoughts he could form as he walked to the spot Chanyeol had asked him to meet him at for the stupid movies in the park thing. The other was why the fuck would the movie theater play movies in the park? They literally have a building to do that at!

Sehun was just ready for this night to be over. He was cold and miserable, not to mention that as soon as he got to Chanyeol he would probably start up again, pestering him about when he was gonna talk to Y/n. And he got it. Chanyeol was just trying to be a good friend for both him and Y/n, but he just couldn’t get it through to his best friend that he did not want to talk about it anymore. He’d go see her and talk about it on his own time, but for now he would just like peace.

After a couple more minutes of begrudgingly walking through the park, he ended up at the statue Chan had texted him about, however there was no sign of him anywhere. Sehun pulled out his phone. The time read 7:08 pm. There’s no reason he should be late, these were literally his plans.

He wrote him a “im here where are you?” text and hit sent. Chanyeol answered immediately.

“Went with jongin, however there’s a surprise coming”

Angry was an understatement. He didn’t even want to be here and now Chanyeol had flaked on him.

“Im gonna kill you, whats the surprise”

Before Sehun could look up from his phone he heard a weak “Sehun?”

“Y/n?” Sehun’s eyes went wide with shock and his mouth followed suit. “What are you doing here?”

“Chan texted me and asked me to meet him here, I’m guessing it was a setup.” She said.

“Yeah.” Sehun choked out. He hadn’t seen Y/n in so long and that was no one’s fault except his own, but he forgot just how breathtaking she was.

“Are you gonna say something or should I just leave.” She said, crossing her arms at an attempt to block out some of the wind blowing through her thin sweater.

“Here, take my jacket before you freeze.” Sehun said, stripping out of his top layer without so much as a second thought and offering it to her. Y/n debated for a moment on whether she should or not, despite this being their first contact in months she was absolutely freezing.

“Please?” He said, seeing the self conflict cross her features. “I know that I should’ve came to you alot sooner, but please just take my jacket and we can go sit in my car and talk.”

Y/n hesitantly took the jacket, but finally shook her head and agreement. “Alright.” Was all she said as she waited for him to lead the way. Sehun had completely forgotten about his earlier grievances. He had no idea what he was gonna say to Y/n now that she was right here in front of him. And he can’t just back down now, he’d already agreed to talk to her.

He silently led them back to his car, despite the fact that he had all these questions and things running rampant in his mind. He swore he could hear his heart beating and at the rate it was going now, he felt like it was gonna beat right out of his chest. Nervous was an understatement right now. He had no idea how this was going to go.

He knew she was upset, understandably so. He’d been completely ignoring her for months now. He also knew just how much this had probably been weighing on her especially because he’d been feeling the same way.

He took his keys out and unlocked the car, immediately jumping in and turning the heat on. Y/n was in the passenger seat, reaching for the blankets she knew Sehun kept in the backseat. She grabbed one for herself and handed Sehun the other one.

“Thank you.” He said, practically whispering. It was the first thing either of them had said in a while. His hands shook as he accepted the blanket from her. Half of it from the numbness that had settled into his fingers and the other half from just how nervous he was to be with Y/n right now in this moment.

“If you’re not ready to talk about this, I’ll just go home.” Y/n said. She wasn’t looking at Sehun, her gaze was focused somewhere else completely. “No, no, no. I do. I just don’t know where to start.” He answered honestly.

“Alright, well I’ll go first then. You know that I would never ever do anything to hurt you right?”

Sehun didn’t answer, his pride wouldn’t let him.

“Well, I wouldn’t okay. That day I was working on homework with Baekhyun. You texted and said you were almost there and then as soon as we were done he packed up his stuff and started to leave. And right as I went to close the door he called my name and then kissed me. I had no idea he was gonna do that. I didn’t want to kiss him. I never wanted to kiss him. I’ve never felt anything for him and I never will.”

Sehun shook his head. “It looked like so much more than that. It looked like that wasn’t the first time you guys had kissed. Hell for all I know you guys could’ve been sneaking around for months.”

Y/n scoffed. “Do you hear yourself right now? Why would I sneak around with Baekhyun or anyone else for heaven’s sake? I love you and I always have. I don’t need anyone else.”

“I know.”

“Listen, I know that you’d been having doubts about us and I know that it was pushing you away from me, but I swear I’ve never wanted to hurt you.”

“I never wanted to hurt you either.”

“I know babe, but it’s okay,”

“No, listen to me.” He interrupted you, but you let him. He was finally talking to you, but you were ready to listen. “Chanyeol and I overheard Baekhyun and his friends talking about what happened and how he wanted to talk to you but he wanted to break us up first. But I didn’t know that before I...” He stopped. He dreaded the words that were about to leave his lips, but he had to tell you the truth.

“When I left your house that day I ended up at Yoonha’s house and.. I was talking to her about everything and told her about Baekhyun. I… one thing led to another and I-i, we slept together.”

“You cheated on me?” The sheer hurt was very apparent on Y/n’s face. “Are you actually kidding me?”

“No I’m not and you know what I deserved it. You knew exactly how Baekhyun felt about you. He was constantly flirting with you and eye fucking you every chance he got, and you never stopped him or tried to say anything to him. You know what I’ve felt ever since that day? I’ve felt numb. Nothing else registers. Nothing registers. Nothing makes me happy, or angry, or sad, or anything else besides numb. Yoonha made me feels things that I hadn’t felt in years. She made me realize that I was right about how I was never good enough for you. I tried my hardest for six years only to find out it had all been a waste of time because you were just gonna throw yourself at the first guy that gave you a chance.

“So when I saw her that day I finally felt something and I went for it. Being with her made me feel alive. Since that day I’ve felt like I was being dragged under and there was nothing that I could do to bring myself back to the surface. She was my lifeboat, my saving grace. Every second I spent with her made me feel like I was on cloud nine and I couldn’t get enough. I slept with her. And I don’t regret it because whereas with you throughout our entire relationship I felt like I was a different person, she made me feel like myself.”

“I did everything I could to make you feel like you were good enough, because truth be told I always thought you were too good for me, but I see I stand corrected. You didn’t deserve me.”

“Woah woah woah. I didn’t deserve you?”

“Yes! I did nothing wrong, and if you had even given me the chance to explain myself from the fuck up your stupid little friend did, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.”

“Hey, he is not my friend.” Sehun interrupted.

“Is that really important right now? You cheated on me. That was your decision, before even considering to hear me out. You were so quick to throw us away. You are the only person who’s had my heart and it’s been that way for years, but you were so so quick to throw everything out the window for what? Revenge? To get back at me for something that I didn’t do?”

“I don’t even wanna hear it.”

Y/n laughed. “You don’t wanna hear it. That’s hilarious. You were alot of things Sehun, but you were never stupid. Do not blame your insecurities on me, because I never did anything wrong. I supported you. I helped you. I did anything you wanted or even needed me to do. I did so much for you out of nothing more than love. ‘Throw myself at the first guy that gave me the chance’ You are really unbelievable. I tried to understand your feelings and help you through all of them, but if you really talked to yourself into believing that I never loved you or that I didn’t think you were good enough for me, then I don’t think you ever really knew me at all. And that’s just sad.”

Y/n threw the blanket off and flung the door open, climbing out of the passenger seat as fast as she could, but before she closed the door she laughed one more time. “Six years… down the drain. I hope Yoonha makes you happy.” And with that, she slammed the car door.

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violethowler · 4 years

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Death and Separation: Emerging Trends in Pop Culture Franchises

Warning: The following essay contains ending and character death spoilers for Voltron: Legendary Defender, How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, Game of Thrones, and everything released under the Disney umbrella since January 2017. That includes Marvel, Star Wars, and vanilla Disney movies, both animated and live action.

I’ve noticed a pattern in the last couple of years of media consumption.

Since 2017, there has been a string of major releases by major companies or networks that featured story decisions that proved controversial with audiences. Now, such things on their own aren’t really a big deal because for the most part there’s always going to be some fans who aren’t satisfied with how a story turned out, regardless of their reasons.

But what I’m noticing is that there is a pattern to which elements fans are criticizing and why.

As I became aware of this trend I started looking back at media released in the last few years and noticing that many of these stories were featuring the same plot elements, whether they worked for the story or not:

One common point I noticed is how many of these franchises have taken morally complicated characters that were popular with audiences, and permanently killed them off in ways which a lot of people have found narratively unsatisfying:

In Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, Ben Solo manages to achieve his redemption and turn back to the light after all prior supplementary material showed how Snoke preyed on his feelings of abandonment to groom him into joining the dark side. After being redeemed, his contribution to the story’s climax is being thrown into a pit, where he stays until after Palpatineis defeated, and upon climbing out finds the girl he loves dead. Ben then uses the force to heal Rey and restore her to life, only to immediately kick the bucket himself, after which point the narrative ceases to acknowledge him in any way.

Loki and his brother Thor reconcile at the end of 2017’s Thor: Ragnarok, only for the film’s post credits scene to herald their encounter with Loki’s former “employer” Thanos. The next time audiences see Loki in the opening minutes of Avengers: Infinity War, he’s strangled to death on-screen by Thanos following a failed assassination attempt before the film’s title card has even appeared. Despite theories that he had faked his death and would return in Avengers: Endgame, the only versions of Loki to appear in the finale of the Infinity Saga are past versions from alternate timelines, with only the characters dusted during Infinity War being brought back to life.

Gamora escapes from her abusive father figure Thanos in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie and spends subsequent films building a life for herself outside of Thanos’ toxic influence, with the sequel focusing on her repairing her relationship with her sister Nebula. After being captured by Thanos and forced to bring him to the Soul Stone, Thanos flings her off a cliff to her death when he learns that obtaining the Soul Stone will require him to sacrifice someone he loves, and awakens in a pool of water with the stone in his hand. Despite theories she would be brought back to life in Avengers: Endgame, but like Loki, the only versions of Gamora to appear were from alternate timelines that lacked the dead version’s character development.

Black Widow’s defining character trait across the Infinity Saga has been her desire to eliminate “the red in her ledger” to atone for the things she did when the Red Room had raised her to be an assassin. In Avengers: Endgame, Black Widow sacrifices herself to obtain the Soul Stone in the past to give her close friend Clint Barton a second chance to come back from the brutal path of vengeance the death of his family had set him on, in the same way that he had given her a second chance to build a better life for herself when they first met.

In Voltron: Legendary Defender’s third season, Prince Lotor is introduced as a morally ambiguous figure with unclear motives. When forced on the run by his tyrannical father, he forms an alliance with the Paladins of Voltron and eventually develops a romance with Princess Allura. In the sixth season, Lotor is accused of mass murder of the survivors of Allura’s destroyed planet and their alliance falls apart. Lotor insists that his intentions for peace are genuine, but his efforts to explain himself fall on deaf ears, and after a battle, is left for dead in the Quintessence Field. The second episode of the final seasons fills in the details of his abusive childhood while showing that despite what he’d suffered, he was genuine in his desire for peace. Seasons 6 through 8 are sprinkled with hints that Lotor was innocent of the crimes he was accused of, but despite Season 8 Episode 6 Genesis depicting him being still alive after four years in the Quintessence Field, the audience is treated to an image of his melted corpse four episodes later, while his abusive mother searches alternate realities for a better version of him.

The first seven seasons of Game of Thrones depict Daenerys Targaryen as someone from an abusive family who was nevertheless determined to rise above her turbulent upbringing and make the world a better place. Over the course of the eighth and final season, her new allies disrespect her, her lover repeatedly betrays her trust, and her advisers not only question her mental stability but immediately attempt to undermine her campaign as soon as a male heir to the throne from her bloodline is presented to them. When her trusted confidant is murdered in the penultimate episode, she snaps and burns large swaths of the capitol to the ground with dragon fire. In the series finale, her remaining advisers convince her lover to kill her for the good of the realm, and her destructive rage is presented as who she always was.

In the narrative of these characters’ stories, some of these fit with the themes of that character’s story arc. Black Widow sacrificing herself makes sense because of the symmetry with what we know of her backstory. Clint Barton gave her a second chance and guided her back from the dark path she was on when they first met, and in Avengers: Endgame, she returns the favor. Her death, while upsetting to many fans for different reasons, fits within the context of her personal narrative arc from across the last decade of Marvel movies.

While Daenerys turning into a Mad Queen like her father would still be disappointing to fans hoping to see her disprove the “madness is in the blood” ideas about her family, it wouldn’t have come entirely out of nowhere. The hints that she had the potential to go down that path were there, even if many hoped it would only remain potential. One of the biggest issues is how Season 8 portrayed her descent into madness. Her cruelty towards King’s Landing is treated not as the rage of someone who has been pushed too far, but that this is who she always was.

Meanwhile Ben Solo’s death came suddenly and abruptly after repeated narrative fakeouts that he came back from. The previous films, novels, and comics had built him up as a victim of abuse and set up audiences to anticipate him breaking free of the Dark Side and finding a happy ending, likely while working to atone for his actions as Kylo Ren. But despite his actor having been promised that Ben Solo’s story would not end the same way that Darth Vader’s did, that was exactly what happened: with the redeemed villain dying to save a person they loved.

The context may differ, but there is a visible pattern of major genre franchises in the last year taking this type of complicated character and either killing them off when they’re finally in a good place mentally and emotionally, or in the case of Lotor and Daenerys, striping away their happiness to force them into the role of a one-dimensional tyrant and then killing them off. Lotor’s case is even more egregious because there were unanswered questions and inconsistencies surrounding his alleged crimes that after his death were never explained.

While I doubt the creators of any of these titles set out to intentionally hurt people who identified with these characters, their narrative choices still send very damaging messages.

These character’s backstories involve them either intentionally or unintentionally set up to fail by the people around them. Where most characters begin with a blank slate, theirs was already written in with expectations, pressure, violence, condemnation, control, manipulation, and/or outright subjugation. Fans young and old find them relatable because of similar rough pasts or trauma, often because or in spite of their grey moral compasses. This type of character resonates with audiences because they represent what it means to be human - to struggle, to make mistakes, and to have the ability to atone for them in the end.

Except in recent stories they don’t ever get that chance. Seeing Ben Solo and Lotor and Daenerys and Loki denied a chance at a happy ending tells people who identify with them that they will never find happiness. That their struggle toward the light is doomed to fail and will only end in death.

And that isn’t the only divisive trend that’s been observed in recent years. Since 2018, there have been sequels and series finales where the characters whose bond was the core of the story go their separate ways either after the conflict has been resolved or as the means to resolve the conflict:

In the series finale of Star Wars: Rebels, audience viewpoint character Ezra Bridger forces Grand Admiral Thrawn’s Star Destroyer fleet into hyperspace to protect the capital city of his planet Lothal from orbital bombardment. This separates him from his Found Family, and due to their commitments to the rebellion it isn’t until several years later that they set out to find him and bring him home.

During the course of Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-it Ralph 2, Vanellope von Schweetz becomes enamored with the virtual world of the internet, having grown tired of the routine of her life in the arcade in the five years since the original movie. Ralph’s desire for life to stay the same and his insecurities over losing his best friend drive the plot of the movie, and the conflict is resolved when Ralph learns to let go of his insecurities and respect Vanellope’s wishes. Ralph returns to the arcade while Vanellope remains on the internet, though they stay in touch via video chat.

The series finale of Voltron: Legendary Defender depicts the surviving paladins going their separate ways after the war ends, only meeting up once a year for a memorial dinner to honor Allura’s sacrifice. Lance is depicted with the markings of Allura’s people branded on his face, grieving her as he spends his days working on his family’s farm. Keith returns to the stars to restructure the Blade of Marmora into a peacetime organization. Hunk becomes a galactic chef, while Pidge returns to Earth to build robots at the Garrison. A year after the series, Shiro retires from the job he loves and marries one of the men on the bridge crew for the Atlas.

In order to protect the dragons of Berk from Grimmel the dragon hunter, Hiccup must send Toothless away so that the Night Fury can lead the Berkian dragons to the safety of the Hidden World. Year later Hiccan and Astrid take their children to the entrance of the Hidden World where they reunite with their dragon friends and their children.

In order to defeat Thanos and his army, Iron Man uses the Infinity Stones to snap Thanos’ legions out of existence at the cost of his own life. Following Tony’s funeral, Captain America returns the Stones to their original timeline before settling down in an alternate timeline to live a peaceful life with Peggy Carter in the 1940s. After reaching old age, Steve returns to his original timeline and passes the mantle of Captain America on to Sam Wilson along with the repaired shield. Thor abdicates the throne of New Asgard to Valkyrie before setting off to the stars with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Hawkeye returns to the quiet farm life with his wife and children, and the remaining heroes all go their separate ways.

After the death of Daenerys in the series finale of Game of Thrones, the Westerosi nobility decided to form an elected monarchy, choosing Bran Stark as the next king of the Seven Kingdoms. Sansa returns to Winterfell, where she becomes Queen of the North, while Jon Snow is “exiled” beyond the wall, and Arya sets sail to explore lands west of Westeros.

In Toy Story 4, Woody is feeling pushed to the side as Bonny plays with him less than she does the other toys. After getting lost on a road trip, Woody is reunited with his lost love, Bo Peep, who has been living alone scavenging from humans rather than being played with by a single child. After rescuing Bonnie’s new toy Forky, Woody and Bo race to get everyone back to the RV before Bonny’s family leaves. Before boarding the RV, Woody ultimately decides to stay with Bo, and he parts ways with the rest of Andy’s toys as the film ends.

After the previous film was about Maleficent becoming a surrogate mother figure to Aurora, the sequel, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, is about Maleficent learning to let her daughter grow up and leave the nest. After Queen Ingrid’s crusade against the fairies is thwarted, Maleficent gives her blessing for Aurora’s marriage to Phillip and lets her adopted daughter go. Maleficent returns to the Moors with the promise that she will return when Aurora and Phillip have a child of their own.

In the course of uncovering and making amends for their bigoted grandfather’s actions against the Northuldra people, Elsa and Anna learn that the rumored fifth spirit that bridges the mortal and the supernatural is actually them and their bond. After breaking the curse on the Enchanted Forest, Elsa abdicated her throne and remains in the forest to continue exploring the full extent of her powers while Anna takes the throne. Thanks to the magic of the other elemental spirits, the sisters remain in constant contact, with Elsa returning to Arendelle for regular visits.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker establishes that Ben Solo and Rey are a dyad in the Force - literal soulmates. At the end of the movie, Rey sacrifices her life to destroy Palpatine, and after climbing up from the pit he was tossed into, Ben uses the Force to heal Rey’s wounds and bring her back to life, at which point he immediately dies. After a victory celebration with the Resistance, Rey travels to Tatooine and is last seen burying Luke and Leia’s lightsabers in the sands outside the farm where Luke grew up.

As with the trend of killing off morally complicated characters, some of these examples work within the context of the film.

Motherhood was an important element of Maleficent’s arc across the two live action films, and learning to let her daughter leave the nest is a classic lesson in a parental figure’s character arc.

Hiccup and Toothless parting ways fits with the How To Train Your Dragon series’ focus on protecting the dragons and the animal conservation message that comes with that.

Ezra being separated from his found family at the end of Rebels was a way to maintain Luke Skywalker’s status as the only Jedi working for the rebellion in the original movies without permanently killing Ezra off, and the show’s writers left the door open for a potential sequel focused on Sabine following his trail to bring him home.

Other examples, however, do not align with the themes of their respective franchises.

Game of Thrones spent several seasons focusing on the surviving Stark children as they find their way back to each other. Sending them all in different directions at the end feels disappointing and pointless after they had finally been reunited in the previous season.

The Paladins of Voltron finding their own careers after the war that take them to different parts of the galaxy but still making the effort to consistently stay in contact makes sense in theory, but with the death of Allura it comes across as if her passing broke the team apart.

While the original Avengers going their separate ways to let a new generation of heroes step into the limelight seems like an organic conclusion to the Infinity Saga, Captain America’s ending in particular feels like a regression. His character arc across his previous solo films has been about moving forward, and Endgame concludes with him literally going backward.

It’s been common for fan complaints over these story elements to be directed mainly at the people directly responsible for making each project - the showrunners, the movie directors, the script writers…… But I couldn’t help but notice just how many of these examples for both trends fell under the Disney umbrella.

And then I remembered that Infinity War, Endgame, and The Rise of Skywalker all had reshoots done at some point in the production process.

It really makes me wonder how much of these disliked story decisions were really the individual directors’ and showrunners’ decisions and how much were mandated by someone higher up the ladder. And I can’t help but notice the demographics of the people in charge of these companies and the people affected by them.

The demographics of fans that enjoy morally complicated characters and want them to have a happy ending, that enjoy stories where the the characters who bonded over the course of the story stay together after their mutual goal is achieved, are from what I’ve observed predominantly made up of women, LGBTQ+ people, disabled people, nonwhite people, and people with mental illnesses.

And most of the people in charge of these story decisions are cis, straight, neurotypipcal, able-bodied white men. The CEO of Disney... The showrunners of Game of Thrones….. Voltron’s a little more complicated because while Dreamworks made the show they didn’t own the franchise, but the Voltron IP owner is a straight white male.

These stories are controlled by straight white men, and the audiences that have the biggest negative reactions to these story decisions are women, LGBTQ+ people, and POC.

Companies may talk about having more diversity on camera and behind the camera, but the people at the top of the corporate hierarchy - the ones with the money and therefore the ultimate control over what gets released to the public - are for the most part the same demographic as they've always been.

And all of these show finales and movies have been released within the last four years, as fandom spaces and American public discourse in general have become increasingly polarized into a black and white mentality with no room for nuance. Where someone can only be either a perfect ally or an offensive oppressor. This trend in killing off morally complicated characters in ways that don’t always work for their character arc has also coincided with the rise of fandom’s pearl clutching over moral purity and whether a villain or anti villain “deserves” a redemption arc.

Your first instinct will probably be to dismiss what I’m suggesting, insisting that these are just shows and movies and that they don’t matter. That it’s Not That DeepTM. But more often than not the media we consume is a reflection of the world around us. And we are seeing a pattern that as fandom becomes increasingly obsessed with purity and enforces a “one strike and you’re a monster” mentality, the major franchises of pop culture are producing stories where people who aren’t clear-cut Pure Good Heroes or Pure Evil Villains die.

Also, dismissing people’s thoughts about the social messages of a movie or show, insisting that we’re wrong for saying that something doesn’t fit with the story so far, is part of the problem. Having critics and other fans praising the stories we feel hurt by and dismissing our criticisms as, for example, whiny shippers mad that our favorite pairings didn’t happen, has a very stifling, damaging effect. It tells us over and over again that this is the way that stories are supposed to be, and that there is something weird, broken, wrong with us for not being satisfied with stories that break up the Found Family or kill off your morally messed up fave regardless of whether it actually makes sense for the story.

It leaves us isolated and alienated from wider fandom discussions because we’re told it again and again until we internalize it that we’re in the wrong. That people just don’t want to make the kinds of stories we want to see. That we’re paranoid for suspecting that there is a pattern when we see this happen over and over. But it’s clear from the way that some creators have acted - going from excitedly promoting their work to complete silence after the initial disappointment over the finale - that there are creators who want to tell those kinds of stories, but they are being silenced. They are being forced to change the stories they wanted to tell because someone in charge didn’t like that kind of story, and because of their NDAs are forced to either keep silent, or lie and take credit for decisions that weren’t theirs.

It’s easy to dismiss these story decisions as a coincidence. To believe that all of these creators made similar decisions on their own. That they just fucked up a beautiful story on their own with no intervention from someone higher up the corporate ladder. It’s a comforting option. It makes us feel like our criticisms have an impact. Because the alternative? That creators can and have been forced to change their stories because the person at the top doesn’t think that it’ll sell well if it doesn’t cater to the demographic they consider most important? That’s terrifying.

#media analysis #meta #trends I'm seeing in popular franchises

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felicia-cat-hardy · 3 years

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My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

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