Nana Visitor, Gates McFadden and Tawny Newsome

andy robinson in ‘what we left behind’ the ds9 documentary was UNHINGED he straighta called ira steven behr in the middle of the documentary and said “IF YOU TOUCH. ONE HAIR. ON JULIAN’S HEAD…”

I just want to remind everyone of this extremely powerful scene from In Purgatory’s Shadow/By Inferno’s Light from season 5 of ds9.

“I'm sorry, but that's absolutely unacceptable. I'm under enough strain as it is, I can't have you quitting on me. Get a hold of yourself, Garak. After all, you haven't had one of these attacks in years. Yes, this is a tight enclosed space. Yes, there's not a lot of room to move. But a disciplined mind does not allow itself to be sidetracked by niggling psychological disorders like claustrophobia. Besides, this isn't like Tzenketh. The walls won't collapse in on you. Your friends are near by, there's plenty of air, so there's nothing to be concerned about. Focus on the job. You're the only person who can contact the runabout. People are depending on you. Ziyal is depending on you. You promised her you'd come back, and that young lady has had quite enough disappointments in her life without you adding to them, so control yourself. You're stronger than this. A disciplined mind-”

This is one of the most accurate depictions of a panic attack I’ve ever seen in a tv show. Andy Robinson went above and beyond here. He depicted it perfectly. That choking panic that rises in your throat and steals your breath, while your mind screams at you. The fear in his voice as he talks to try and ground himself.

The sheer strength and fear and dread of Garak, as he prepares to go back in, knowing what awaits him. That choking cloying panic, your mind and body betraying you…

I read somewhere that Andy Robinson is himself claustrophobic. I wonder how much of himself he poured out into these scenes.

It’s powerful because it’s real. People go through this every day of their lives. And seeing a scene like this, it reminds us we are not alone, that there are others who suffer like this too.

Especially the lies.

Our favorite priest

re-reading my own fic because the author has exactly my taste in tropes, ships the same ships in the right way, and also shares my sense of humour. what a find, what a revelation. i hope they write more of this sort of thing.

The world if Star Trek producers let the characters be as queer as the actors wanted them to be.

would you still love me if i was a worm? 🐛💛

(free pattern here!)

all i wanna do is lie in the sun!!!! read my books!!!! daydream about fictional scenarios!!!!! love without fear of abandonment!!!!!! smell like vanilla!!!!!!! cry over great poetry!!!!! sit on the grass for hours on end!!!!! not care about how others perceive me!!!!!! find god in the smallest of things!!!!! be free of guilt and shame!!!!

I missed drawing him so much!