#i have a LOT of thoughts abt this game but i dont wanna put potential spoilers in here so i will wait hehe
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love to see the watchmen stuff coming from you. i was working at the comic shop when doomsday clock and rorschach was coming out so i remember it pretty well :~) rorschach is my favorite character even though he's terrible. in every way. i kind of love him for it while dr manhattan is the worst guy ever. what are your thoughts
in a joking manner here r my thoughts:
in all seriousness my favorite characters r probably laurie, dan and rorschach :) i want to pin adrian to a corkboard like a moth and study him. adrian himself isnt an interesting character (or atleast as interesting as the others) but lord his dynamics w others need to be put on trial i think there's so much shown potential there. comedian is interesting and manhattan is too i jut also hate them both w a burning passion. obviously both of them are insane parallels abt the lost of humanity due to trauma that is treated as the norm or seen as simply just "as things are" (u ever think abt how comedian was 16 when he joined the minutemen? the same age laurie was when she joined the crimebusters?)
love what happened w laurie in the hbo series. love the rorschach comics. complex emotions abt the movie its both insanely accurate yet also makes me wanna rip my hair out bc there are some choices there that are absolutely insane??? are you fucking kidding me???? WHY. WHY DID U DO THAT TO MANHATTAN AND LAURIE'S ARC. HATE IT HERE.
before watchmen is good. most of it is shit but what is good is amazing. i love the minutemen i love the lore established there. obviously we can't talk abt watchmen adaptations without acknowledging how DC fucked over alan moore and dave gibbons but like. i am happy to get more content that i get to pull apart and examine because lord knows we're never getting the same type of content other DC franchises get.
THE VIDEO GAME IS SO WEIRD THE FIRST CHAPTER OF IT IS FASCINATING. I LOVE IT. THE SECOND CHAPTER IS BULLSHIT. UGH.
if prompted i could give personal reviews abt everything that ive read/consumed w watchmen. like detailed reviews. i think abt it constantly.
i actually have a watchmen oc/self insert bc thats how i consume media his name is jeremiah and he is. well! he sure is.
i dont like how most of the fandom writes dan and rorschach as a romantic relationship. not because i don't think there's something insanely homoerotic going on i just don't think they're able to be a functional couple. they've never gotten married but have divorced 20 times and 18 of those were rorschach's fault. i think there's a lot of untouched dynamics going on w adrian and comedian but i think that's just the watchmen that's in my head.
AND UHHH if i were to ever be in charge or have influence in a watchmen series i think we need something that focuses on the time when crimebusters first formed up until the keenes act. i realize that's been touched on in the comic but i found a lot of before watchmen rlly neglected that. i want more detail on backstory. my friend says that dev patel would play a great dan and honestly i think we should see where that goes. need more dan media. idc if he's "boring". he's my favorite war criminal.
#answers#brakshow#watchmen#dooo not think u meant or expected this much detail#and even then im kinda holding myself back from going into insane detail#watchmen is one of those media that i rotate in my mind Constantly but am in a stalemate where i dont have ppl to talk abt it with#so it just sits there and explodes#long post
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Deuce Spade facts and fun facts🥳🥳
This is a list of facts and fun facts about Deuce! This list is based on true facts only and any observations I've made, however observations can be subjective, so those will be labeled properly! Let's start off with some facts already in the wiki :)
First Yr, class 1-A, student no.24
Birthday: June 3
Age: at the beginning of the game, Deuce is 16, but currently, he is 17 [his profile in game has not been updated, but as time is proven to flow in game, it is unclear but can be interpreted that the characters do canonly age]
Gemini
173 cm / 5'8" ft
Homeland: Rose kingdom
Family: Mother, Grandmother, it is implied that his father is out of the picture as Deuce states that he is the only man in the family so his father has either left or is dead
Club: Track and Field [alongside Jack]
Best subject: PE
Dominant hand: Right
Fav food: Egg dishes / omurice
Least fav food: Bell peppers
Dislikes: Limited time sales
Hobby: Magical wheel (twst motorcycle I guess but it looks kinda funky)
Talents: Machinery Maintainance [good with fixing gadgets and etc]
Used to be a delinquent before he heard his mother crying on the phone to his grandmother about his behavior. Afterwards he decided to change
Owns a pink leopard printed suit
Cannot do middle school math, he will take a lot of time to solve simple Algebra problems
Gets nervous and stops functioning entirely when talking to women
Onto some fun facts outside of the wiki! These facts have been gathered from various sources (ppl who can read japanese, ppl who have told me abt info in the twst guidebook, twitter, and ofc the main translated story), but I cannot prove 100% authenticity of this, so take it with a gain of salt
Canonly a pretty boy. Deuce is described as the "cool pretty type" in the twst guidebook
Smells like flowers [applies to all students from Rose kingdom]
A romantic, he admired the king and queen of heart's relationship and trey teased him about it
Thought that baby chicks hatch from store bought eggs until the MC and Grim told him the truth
Can cook eggs (he likes them over easy)
Wanted to make a magical wheel club but was rejected so he joined track and field
Bought magical wheel magazines when he was younger and studied it
Wanted to ride his magical wheel in the heartslabyul maze (mentioned he forgets bad things when he rides it so like...it makes him feel better)
Hates limited times sales/shopping but is extremely good at it. He can remember the price of an item, when exactly it sells out, the percentage/probability of when it can sell out, discount prices and pretty much any math that has to do with it [he's extremely good at shopping because his mother brought him out a lot with her to limited time sales]
In addition to the point above, it is implied he can memorize and calculate that for pretty much every item he intends on buying (everything I listed above is in relation to the time he bought 20 limited time puddings which greatly impressed Sebek who wasn't able to grab even 1, but it was later revealed that he also bought 8 bag full of items requested by Trey for baking, as well as the others probably from heartslabyul) so basically Deuce big brain and very good memorization abilities
Hilariously in the instance above, Sebek, who is like...a real fae, has said that what Deuce did was not something a human can do
Flirted with a plant because vil was fucking around with him and told him to
Was ready to fist fight Riddle
Was about to go find Leona to beat him up but Vil was like do u have no fear and Deuce pretty much said that he can get thru to Leona with his muscles
Was about to fight Malleus (jesus christ) but ended up fixing his tamagotchi and came out completely loaded and rich (good for deuce, get that cha ching babey)
Won a Track and Field competition (noted to be rare for a first year)
He is literally a pretty boy, it's been pointed out that he looks good in the ceremonial clothes (but we already know that)
Admires Riddle and sees him as a role model, has called him boss (like...yakuza boss terminology) once
[Observation] Has a pretty good relationship with Jamil as he has asked Jamil to help him practice his Stargazer dance, and mentioned him once again when talking about how Jamil fixed his hat and said that he was a reliable upperclassman
Has said fuck and would not hesitate to say it again 🥺
Has been called honest and cute, was fawned over by kalim and trey. Kalim said Deuce was similar to his younger brothers
During his delinquent phase, he was blamed for many things he didn't do as well, Deuce said that he realized no one believed in him despite what he says, but because a policeman stood up for him, he wanted to become a cop when he grew up
Used intimidation tactics [the equivalent of "u wanna fucking go let's go I'll beat ur ass" to scare off ppl and silver was like hm I will have to try that sometime, to which deuce was pretty much like ahahah no dont
Deuce refers to Yuu as his "mabu", basically calling Yuu his best friend
He can change a lightbulb, and he talks abt hand washing materials and just domestic house stuff in general as if it's common knowledge. In other words it's implied Deuce is really good at housework due to doing a lot for his mother
When he was a kid, he used to cry because he thought there were monsters outside, but it was just hanging laundry
Is more scared of Riddle than ghosts
It's implied that one time (or several times...) he stayed after school with Crewel, and the poor guy had to attempt to explain the same concept over and over again to Deuce for hours until he understood
Ace always cheats in card games with Deuce, so Deuce claims that it's not very fun playing with him
Bad at astrology bc apparently all stars look the same to him
Likes cafe latte
Does tease ppl, he once messed with Yuu and in the process called Ace "Ace-kun" (Ace called him "Deuce-kun" as well). There has been an instance where he's teased Jack about his Niceness TM
Used to have over 30 gang members following him at age 14-15. (You'd think that him being so young would make him like a lackey but no he was the boss)
Has a thing for summoning cauldrons since he was young, but apparently you need to have a large amount of magic capabilities to summon objects, so [observation] deuce may actually be extremely powerful bc he was able to summon things at a young age, but he hasn't refined his powers yet so he still seems weak compared to a lot of the cast
During his delinquent phase, apparently he had a really wild hairstyle and he used his magic on people weaker than him
[Observation] Deuce is actually pretty good at lying. In his Halloween card he was able to put up a good act and deceive some of his ex gang members into following him into the forest before mildly roughing them up (keep in mind that he has not had contact with these ppl for at least a year, yet somehow he was able to assert enough authority to tell them to follow him. Also, he thought of this plan on the spot, and acted malicious enough so that the gang members would believe in him—which proves that he's not only quick witted but a convincing actor, as Jamil actually believed his act for a while)
It's implied that he and Ace are often in leadership positions, as they helped to lead heartslabyul in designing their Halloween booth, but they also mentioned that it was much easier compared to organizing unbirthday parties
[Observation] despite wanting to be an honor student, Deuce is still able to take unjustly means to achieve his goals (EX. Making a deal with Azul to pass his test), in general, deuce doesn't care too much about the method, be it through cheating or violence to get to his goal, but he does value a fair battle
[Observation] a lot of Deuce's strengths are subtle as we are frequently told abt how much of a bad student he is, but if u rly think abt it, deuce is put in leadership positions a lot, he's good a memorization and small technical details, he can be at times quick witted and deceiving, and he has the potential to be extremely powerful in magic. In conclusion Deuce is a menace and once we find out what his unique magic is I'm 100.01% sure he will become a greater menace and I think he should fight a lot of people and win
That will be all for this post! There may be more fun facts/observations that I may have missed, but feel free to add on to this! Anyways thank u for reading and please stan Deuce Spade♠️💙
#please read this i spent hours on it <3#i am sorry for being a walking deuce encyclopedia#twisted wonderland#deuce spade#twisted wonderland deuce#twst deuce
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bro, u and ur anons keep talking about cas being "complicit" in his abuse by being too afraid and beaten down to even slightly disagree with dean, and how he just needs to start standing up for himself?
and while its true that cas pushing dean around even a little bit would fix a lot of their relationship problems, phrasing it that way just seems... idk... supremely victim blame-y to me. like, the responsibility is somehow on cas to sort through his own trauma enough to gain an unbiased view of the situation, while he is still actively in the abusive situation that caused that very same trauma in the first place, and then risk (in his mind) the only meaningful relationship he has left by pushing dean away enough to set boundaries? as opposed to it being dean's responsibility not to treat people like disobedient pets? dean of course has his own issues that make it hard for him to see things clearly, to put it mildly, but cmon, these are not even remotely the same caliber lol.
furthermore, i know having someone else come along and say "he doesn't love u! he wouldnt mourn u if u died! dump him!" helps a lot of ppl wake up to abuse, but in cas's case, my gut instinct says that would make it a thousand times worse?? bc, on some level, cas already believes that, and that's part of the problem??? obviously the whole suicide fantasy thing can be damaging to fans, but even if cas himself has that fantasy, i doubt he genuinely thinks that's what's going to happen when he dies. im sure he WANTS dean to mourn him like a widow, but he fully expects dean to move on and even be happier (in the long run) once cas is gone, which is part of why he’s sacrificing himself in the first place.
it's shitty of the showrunners to craft this narrative in the first place, but i dont think it is inherently worse for the fantasy to be fulfilled than not... either way, it's rewarding/justifying cas's decision, unless cas stays dead AND dean is miserable, and they really lean into it being a Tragic Ending. even fics that try to avoid this problem often just make things worse bc ive seen multiple fics that bring cas back just to have dean punish him further, with no self-awareness on dean's part. like, the man is so miserable with guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that he kills himself, and u (dean/fanfic authors, not mx. androids) think the appropriate way to respond to that is to make him feel guilty and selfish and weak for turning to suicide??? wtf??? truly NO ONE wins in the game of supernatural
anyway im genuinely not trying to do a callout post here or anything, im positive none of yall meant it in that way, i just wanna know more about ur perspective on this. no pressure to respond if u dont want tho. (also i know im talking abt fictional boys like theyre real ppl with thoughts and feelings but this show simply isnt interesting to me otherwise, love & light xoxo)
i have never referred to cas as complicit in his own abuse. i have referred to him as complicit in dean's abuse of jack, as well as potentially complicit in dean's abuse of sam. he's also complicit in a bunch of other terrible things dean has done to other people or induced him to do to other people.
i have discussed the way that cas gets used to being abused and makes a home there, to the extent that even when he has opportunities to improve his situation he stays in his little corner because he really doesn't understand how to get out (not has he ever experienced anything really all that different) but while that's his choice it's not really his fault in the same way. it's tragic, he isn't to blame.
re: the suicide thing i was mostly being snarky and pissed off, throwing spaghetti at the wall. you are right, there is no good answer. no one wins supernatural.
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What's your opinion on some of the more popular ships in the fandom? Yes, this includes rave
Putting under a readmore since I ramble im so sorry
Stickvin: AH A CLASSIC! I think it’s good! They’re just bros and I think they’re a very nice pairing, I’ve started to draw less of it but I think it’s a lovely pairing nonetheless. It’s that ship in the fanbase tho, where it tends to get a lot of young fans who tend to be really insistent on stickvin content or being rlly weird, like fucking. fujos. unfortunately. but i shouldn’t let that taint the ship for me, its very lovely and acted as a comfort ship back when I first joined, its not in my brain as much but. iTS JUST GOOD!!
Rosemin: Does this count? I think so? if not IT SHOULD!!! Rosemin has recently started rotting my brain and I feel like it deserves more recognition. They are a power couple! Toppat King and Right hand lady Ellie?? WTF THEIR POWER!! The inherent romance of being a right-hand!! TT/TR/PP/CG? Absolute power duo!!! And in TCW? I think people should start thinking abt Enemies/Rivals to Lovers TCW Rosemin!! Like think about it!! They never had the chance to talk it out, and maybe they realize their argument is doing more harm then good, they slowly come to realize that theyre not so different after all and grow to forgive, or something I JSUT! I CAMT THINK BUT THESE TWO ARE SO FUCKING BISEXUAL AND I THINK THEY SHOULD KISS AND I WANNA MAKE MORE ROSEMIN CONTENT!!!!!!!
Polythreat: VERY VERY GOOD!! Whether its a perfect triangle (everyone dates eachother) or just henry dating the two or some other combo, I love this ship; its just a really wholesome ot3 and their dynamic in game shows just a lovely ship 💕💕🥺
Copperright: I WISH I HAD BRAINROT FOR THIS SHIP. Like it’s so lovely!!! I want brainrot too!!! The potential, the IN CANON EVERYTHING ITS!! SO GOOD!! THEY ARE SO FUCKING MARRIED THEY ARE MARRIED AND IN LOVE AND WVERYONE MAKES SUCH GREAT CONTENT OF THESE TWO!! I do get a little fickle at times with reg being presented as helpless without rhm, but other than that? great ship I WANT TO DRAW FOR IT BUT HRRGRGRG NO BRAINROT!!!!!
Curtisson: A CUTE PAIRING! They talk once but its okay and thats a lot mmore than pther ships i have. I love the inherent dynamic of Talks in Essays x Tired and doing his job, i just, theyre a funny duo, i dont have much strong feelinsg about the pairing its so fucking wonderful and Like. Its just so good.
Dr. Rose: WAMEN.!!! I THINK THIS COUNTS! I’m unfamiliar with other social media but i think its popular and im so happy about that. people who love women have it sO HARD IN THIS FANDOM!! WHERE ARE THE WOMEN!!! but yeah these two? I adore them so fucking much. They can be such a power duo and I think there is so so so much potential, especially since both ellie and dr v have so much unknown about them, i just. I feel like theyre such an interesting dynamic to explore, especially with the multitude of different dr v variations. ik for my ask blog i wanted to build up this pairing, but idk if ik going to keep my askblog, but i just, i cant express the emotions and thoughts they give, they are kust a loving duo, who are so powerful, the brains and brawn and both r beauty. i just UGH!!! I HAVE THOUGHTS BUT NO WORDS!! so yeah anyways one of the best ships in this fandom I LOVE WOMEN.
Panprice: OH A VERY GOOD DUO. Dave and Rupert is such a good ship and like. I really love their whole dynamic with rupert getting the good card and dave getting the bad card, like any opposite dynamic like that is rlly cool. and i thunkthey should reunite and rupert should be there for dave, bc hes rlly been througj it.. and i just. they are good dynamic!! ex-coworkers to lovers babey!!!
galetrov: I CANT FORM A COHERENT THOUGHT OTHER THAN GO GRANDPAS!! its a VERY GOOD SHIP WITH LOTS OF POTENTIAL AND STORY AND MMMMM GO GRANDPAS
Rave: Oh rave. I have a lotta feelings and emotions on this ship but man I DONT KNOW HOW IFEEL ABT IT NOT BEING A RAREPAIR ANYMORE,,? Like i dont know other social medias so I don’t know how popular it is in its entirety buT I AM GLAD TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE TO BE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP BC MAN... I think about it so much. Like Rave is a comfort ship of mine unfortunately, I’ve latched onto to Randy and Terrence and I’ve created these two characters from nothing (they’re basically ocs) and then gave them a wholeass story?? man i just. the foundation is these two awful leaders being in love and rainbow x greyscale, which I think is an epic starting dynamic. Like I feel like. I could go for literal hours about things, but the thing with Rave is because Randy and Terrence have so little information, there’s so much that can be done, and in my case, I think these two just tried their best, wasn’t good enough, and eventually settled down, being Henry’s fathers. bc i believe in NICE TERRENCE PROPAGANDA
so yah. im sorry i ramble
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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER
omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):
the reason(s) i was gone for so long
what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)
the status of those um . halloween requests
the future of this account
i. so . Hiatus .
i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.
a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)
tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr
ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall
when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)
at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼
media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa
tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now
iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right
i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:
there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...
i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.
regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).
tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.
iv. so what now?
well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list
and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)
as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.
ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......
and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.
tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)
the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:
im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.
there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.
regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝
love, ari 💌
#did i have an announcement tag#announcement#also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted#my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well#some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is#its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd#im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence#consider this my comeback stage
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OK SO I'm here to tell yall about the rarepair I was talking abt earlier aka repliroku (Repliku and Roxas)
I,, would put this under a cut but I dont know how to do that on mobile. Apologies in advance. If someone can tell me that would be nice n I'll edit this as such,, but yeah
(Quick note that I hc repliku as nb and use they/them for them ,, anyway)
So basically how this came to be was I was in the most boring class known to man with the world's most monotone teacher (seriously if it were a competition he'd at least place third worldwide) and I was thinking about Repliku, bc this was around the time that they first slipped into my list of major comfort characters, and I thought itd be cool if they were to be informally adopted by the sea salt trio because of how their experiences relate to each other. Also like, they got those Vibes y'know. Theyd get along I know they would (although at this time I did not realize what exactly Axel did in castle oblivion and. Well. If u know u know but I need to revise Repliku's potential interactions w him now that I've played com). Also because Repliku still has self worth issues and believes themself to just be a copy of Riku, and if any group could help them adjust to life as their own person, especially from experience, it's probably the sea salt trio and it's also because Repliku needs something to do while Sora's gone and everyone else is just Here looking for him so they're getting some new friends now
And that got me wondering abt their individual relationships with each member n all that, and theres some interesting dynamics going on in there especially regarding Xion and them having similar origin stories tho with varying results and with how Axel used to be in castle oblivion with them n all but has changed drastically since, and Then. I thought abt Roxas. I'm gonna be honest I have no idea what exactly it is about the dynamic between Repliku and him that is so appealing to me but in the moment I felt like a total genius and went with it
But like...... is it the shared desire to protect, holding memories of their friends so dearly that it's what kept them going this far? And the way that they both fought so hard to prove they have a right to exist in this world even when they were never meant to be? Being told they are nothing more than the "other", enough that they thought it was true?
Is it the equally hilarious and depressing knowledge that Roxas' relationship with Riku has always been a Little Bit Fucked and now theres ANOTHER ONE (and the slow realization that hey, this kid isn't half bad actually)? (Not to mention Repliku would probably be confused by....... everything that happened when they were stuck in the realm of darkness for over a year. "So why are there 5+ Soras now? And who the fuck are *gestures at over half the cast* these people??")
Or the bastardous shenanigans they could get up to if they put their brain cells together? The way theyd absolutely team up against poor Riku for fun? (by which I mean funny lil pranks n shit not like. murder. Repliku just goes "hey wanna go annoy my brother" and u know Roxas is already halfway there)
The answer is yes to all! They have this mutual understanding of each other, with both the shit they've been through and who they are as people, who and what they value...... they Get It
So like naturally by that point I was like, oh hey, these two would be great friends tbh?
And THEN. I thought. What if they kissed.
Thus the start of me having a rarepair comfort ship that I'm pretty much the sole creator for
And a lot of this ties in with an everyone lives (but Sora's still missing) au I have where those two as well as Xion, Naminé, Vanitas n maybe Ventus form a friend group of their own bc of their shared fucked up lives. They meet up like twice a week bc it's Supposed to be like a therapy thing but they really just hang out n play games n stuff n occasionally open up abt shit and support each other thru it yknow? Basically the average gay friend group at school but like way less drama
#the one who confesses first is a toss up bc it would be whoever realizes and accepts their feelings first#so like. it would take a while for anything to happen lmao#the only way i know how to perceive ships is best friends who kiss im sorry i dont know what romance is#also neither of them know how to flirt on purpose. its funny and painful to watch#axel/lea gets a kick out of it tho#tbh u could ask any ship type question and i could probably answer. ive thought abt them for so long man#so yeah this is a funky lil kh rarepair i like please join my hell of no content except whatever i manage to make for myself#ok honestly my favorite version of their relationship is what they have in the pmd au but thats#a whole other can of. stuff. to open#and now i will proceed to pass out ive been awake for too long
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was planning on responding like 2 hrs ago but i ended up passing out LOL sorry ALSO DON'T APOLOGIZE AH I LOVE UR OWL RANTS ohmygod yeah WHERE'S HE GONNA GO :( ive just associated him as nyxl's meko and now he's NOT ?!?!? not to mention there's no offtank anymore 😭 (meko and jehong have the most memorable twt handles i swear skaksk ryujehongsexy and mekoppa i-) also YEAH I THOUGHT JUSTICE WAS GONNA BE MORE WESTERN AFTER LITERALLY GETTING RID OF ALL OF THEIR KR PLAYERS (minus ark as of now) 1/?
also damn glads rlly be losing all their players oof wonder who’ll get picked up 🤔 YESSS POWER ROSTER DYNASTY just thinking abt profit + fleta power dps duo im GONE i kinda hope this happens 👀 (but i love the spitfire roster so im torn :() but also if this DOES end up going through i feel like fury will potentially leave too (mayhaps nyxl?? they do need an off-tank 👀) hes good friends with jjonak too ajsjaks hell yeah gesture would be a good addition to marve1 and michelle (2/3)
but i hope that doesn’t mean marve1 is benched bc his sigma was p good during playoffs (a little more impactful than gesture’s sigma imo),,, unless the meta seriously shifts away from double shield, i don’t think sigma will be going away anytime soon - fleta anon (3/3) ps. holy fuck that was long sorry for rant replying to ur rant ausjajsn
omg no its okay !!! also im gonna put my response under a cut bc i dont wanna put this long post on anyones dashes SJDHKJSFHJKH
honestly same like,,,,, i kinda have a speculation of where he could go,,,,, *cough* shanghai dragons *cough* like they need a sigma player/off-tank so like,,, i could see that happening but idk man
YEA HONESTLY like i guess bc roar was on the glads and they were a mainly english speaking roster justice think he can adapt well to their mainly western/english roster there ??? or maybe he’ll go to the bench and be there for road games and such ??? idk but yea that was a sus move by justice
i think if dynasty get profit and gesture then idk whats stopping spitfire from going full western roster as well tbh,,,,, and yea with fury leaving i think the only viable option for him would be nyxl BUT my only concern is then: who the fuck will play sigma on nyxl ??? bc gesture played sigma on spitfire and we havent seen fury’s sigma so idk,,, unless the meta changes or mano or fury pick up sigma then im kinda eh on the fury move to us ya know ??? but i think adding fury could be good for team synergy bc hes friends w a lot of the team bc of owc
OMG I KNOW like gesture really isnt a great tank player like his rein was solid but his orisa is very eh and his sigma is mid-tier imo so,,,,, idk maybe he would go to the bench ?? but i doubt he would be happy about that dsffs
and yea i seriously doubt the meta will seriously change like if anything i think sigma will definitely be meta for next season, idk about orisa but blizzard isnt gonna just release a hero like that and Not make him the main part of the meta for a while ya know ??? i fell like sigma could be good with a semi dive comp like genji and maybe a hitscan or junk rat and then ana and maybe baptise or lucio ??? idk about the other tank tho all i know is i never wanna see zarya again DKJFJKSDFHJK
#shdfkjhdsf i ranted again but yea so much offseason shit happening#also i dont mind rants tbh !!! i love rants !!!!!!#fleta anon#anonymous#britt answers
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1-85 uwu
j esus okay
1. describe yourself.
uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch
2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?
idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.
3. do you have siblings?
the one thats still alive is my half brother
4. what is your favorite constellation, why?
orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio
5. favorite color.
yellow, pink, or blue.
6. what kind of music do you listen to?
almost anything. whatever catches my interest.
7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)
forgot what i said last time but those
yellow carnations i think?
8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?
maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk
9. favorite childhood memory.
my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.
10. have you ever been cheated on?
i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.
11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?
big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.
12. favorite animal.
river otter
13. what was the last photo you took of?
cat
14. do you believe in soul mates?
i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns
15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?
over is the one thats socially acceptable right
16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.
idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.
17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?
no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.
18. guilty pressures?
im assuming thats meant to be pleasures
umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,
19. favorite mythical creature, why?
merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t
20. something most people don’t know about you.
i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.
not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth
21. where did you grow up, what was it like?
grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.
22. do you believe aliens exist?
sure.
23. what was your last google search?
other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things
24. what did your last relationship teach you?
the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.
25. would you relocate for love?
honestly yeah
26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?
both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.
27. favorite book.
favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta
favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.
28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?
introvert by far
29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?
i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts
30. top 5 favorite movies.
in no particular order
little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched
31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
no
32. what is your greatest fear?
definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy
33. favorite alcoholic beverage.
im baby
34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.
im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing
35. do you believe in ghosts?
not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in
36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?
idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!
37. should you split the dinner bill?
i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.
38. are you a good liar?
most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so
39. what keeps you up at night?
depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.
40. would you rather go without your phone or music?
music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends
41. do you believe in god?
what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.
no. i don't.
42. how do you relax when frustrated?
cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper
43. what’s something that offends you?
when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway
44. favorite food
i hate myself whenever i eat food
45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?
@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee
46. when do you feel the most confident?
never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.
47. what do you do in your free time?
sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.
48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect
matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.
49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.
50. did/do you play sports in school?
i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.
51. when are you happiest?
talkin 2 jay prolly
52. coffee or tea?
tea
53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?
my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7
54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?
their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me
55. what is your favorite season, why?
fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.
56. what makes you laugh?
stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn
57. are you a clean or messy person?
a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.
58. what is important for a successful relationship?
communication communication communicati
talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.
59. what was your upcoming like?
if thats supposed to be upbringing
idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.
60. favorite holiday?
any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.
61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?
give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket
62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?
hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty
63. favorite outdoor activity.
frisbee
64. how are you? honestly.
not great. i want highschool to end.
65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?
idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that
66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?
waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.
67. favorite type of candy?
none
68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?
i can and will do arson, an autobiography
69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?
i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly
70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?
silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected
71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?
im mostly the one having the weird conversations
72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?
i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit
73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?
when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides
74. what do you like to cook?
whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot
75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?
really pretty tropical fish
76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?
idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing
77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?
heart at first but my head if things get bad
78. what is your favorite quote?
"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"
or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.
this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood
79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?
once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao
80. what’s your love language?
sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.
81. do you ever feel alone?
oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks
82. ever been bullied?
yeah
83. are you usually early or late?
late bc of my parents rip
84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?
drawing, or writing. also theater.
85. what do you wish you knew more about?
i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.
id like to know more about forensics tho
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tfw hating life enough for a reeadmooore
yesterday afternoon i’d blocked out 3 pgs in my sketchbook & by that night i was thinking like well i’m so close to finished the sketchbook finally (ive been using it about a yr and a half by now) that i could just stop drawing when i hit the end there
but i’d mentioned the impending end of my sketchbook space a friend is already in the process of sending over some they havent ever used so that will at least mean if i stop drawing it’ll just have to be because i want to lol
like in this case it’s special b/c of course i’ve had periods where i’m like smh what if i just don’t draw anymore, but that’s tended to be about being frustrated w some element or other of it all. this time it was mostly just that every day of my life i have a tiny bit less motivation or energy or etc. yesterday i was thinking all day about offing myself, which i’d done the day before, and done today too
like, it’s nothing new, i’ve been hating being alive and wanting to kms and only moving in the direction of less disappointment to more disappointment and having to care less about things i previously cared about because for one reason or another things get to a point where it only adds frustration to my life anymore
but despite depression and wanting to die and life being miserble all being Not New, that doesn’t mean that it doesnt matter anymore, because after day after day after day after day after day of it for years and years, you’re in a worse place than you were a while back, even if you do feel the same. even a single day of wishing you were dead the whole time is shitty enough. feeling overall like even if you’re in a good mood now, you know your life is trash and you’re going to go back to feeling bad soon, is also shitty enough
like the thing that drawing had going for me is that, like reading and writing sometimes and even some other shit, it’s something i like to do. i do it for myself, really. but it helps that its the way i trick ppl into being here in the first place to see anything i’m talking about. i have really crap appeal. i mean i’m bad at being appealing thru shit i draw, but it’s still way more of something anybody wants vs like five yrs worth of my text posts. like...i have over 10x more followers than i did on a blog where i rarely drew anything ever
but anyways despite me drawing b/c i enjoy it, i enjoy enjoying things less. always in the middle of that “loss of interest in pleasure” life lol.......it doesn’t really matter how long i do or don’t keep drawing, b/c i mean, it doesn’t much matter to me whether i’m having fun or not. i can be enjoying drawing and still wanting to die, because that’s whats happening lol.....nothing that’s a personal factor of my life is all that important to me, because my personal existence is not that important to the person living it
also it sure hasnt helped that my sense of things like whether my life can get better or i’ll have the opportunity to pursue my nonexistent dreams or live an ideal version of my life that also doesn’t exist are all at all-time lows and only just getting lower day by week by month by year. the only way i can even look at cheering myself up is from a day-to-day perspective. and i can have a slightly more fun day than usual and then be extra down on the very next day b/c of how being a bit less numb means you’re crap-feeling emotions are now game too. and i’m very aware of how, if you’re not in a position that insulates you enough, if things get worse for you, that makes “things getting worse for you” more likely, and it’s an exponential drop that gets harder and harder to climb out of, and even if you move back up a notch out of good luck, you’re still just as likely to be knocked back down to where you were. the odds of me suddenly not only not fucking hating being alive but also having a life that doesnt fucking make me hate being alive? that’s a funny joke
also it’s frustrating that whether i feel good or miserable on any given day only really exists if i say something about it in a post like this lol... like i might feel awful one day but if i dont have it in me to spend ages writing about it, which is difficult also b/c putting feelings into words where ppl will only fully Get It if they’ve felt that way too, anyways if i dont write about how shitty i feel and post it then maybe later on when i’m feeling a little better or feeling a different kind of shitty, i also won’t be interested in being like “oh btw i felt awful the other day.” and if i don’t mention it, as far as everyone in the world knows, it was never a thing that happened, so it might as well not have. i mean, as a person i might as well not be happening, especially since i don’t want me to be happening lol
and like i was saying to someone the other day, its a lot harder via text to talk about shit b/c like, if you’re with a friend in person, you can talk abt boring or silly things and its easy and makes a good conversation. whereas talking via twitter means it would be clunky and time consuming to layout exactly had empty and depressing my existence is, and silly shit isn’t even worth the energy when you’re having a convo w lengthy gaps in it, so you can only really talk about the broadest, most interesting shit. which i don’t have much of, oh well
i do like talking and talking to people actually, it’s just rough when it’s all a few ppl online, even though i alsp extremely appreciate those people and enjoy the talking. it’s like, chatting to ppl online is like a piece of chocolate cake. it’s delicious and you love it, but it would be amazing if it was the extra bonus on top of getting solid meals every day, instead of it being the only thing you have to eat and you get it maybe once or twice a week and it’s still wonderful and is all the more valuable for it, but it isnt the same as getting enough to eat always, or Knowing you’ll keep getting enough to eat
anyways my social life is always its own special kind of depressing, even when i AM in the same place as friends. you’d have a hard time finding a situation where the concept of What I Have To Say seems interesting or even relevant to other ppl. and im not sure i’ve ever been in groups where i feel totally comfortable with everyone there and don’t feel out of place. so talking about the idea of knowing you always have access to someone to talk to or be with in person or having friends who you know you can hang out with and they actually like you and you still expect to have them a few yrs down the road—all that’s always been a “well, in theory i mean” or “at least, i imagine it would be like that” issue for me
tbh i generally feel the most comfortable enjoying myself when i do something alone; maybe it’s because i have more experience of ppl im around treating me really shittily than treating me well
ohhhhhh wellllllllllllllll what else do i have to talk about. hmmm the fact that feeling like i wanna die only seems to be regarded as an issue of “well are you gonna or not,” aka if you havent its a Victory and a happy situation instead of it being a matter of EVERY DAY I’M A CONSCIOUS ORGANISM I WISH I WAS DEAD AND MY EXISTENCE HAS BEEN HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION FOR AT LEAST THE LAST HALF OF IT
like how heartwarming that i’ve been actively suicidal for how many years? 6? 8? but i havent yet!! i always want to but just never get around to it and so this time for sure lol no more fooling around!! oh dammit and there goes another birthday still alive. like this is some elusive new years resolution or novel i mean to write.
funny i mention it because there’s practically nothing anymore that i want to do. even if i THOUGHT my life would ever become okay, i want fuckall out of it. i only exist, baby............and it’s like i said earlier, whenever i try to come up with a sad amount of potential motivations NOT to die, i have to realize that none of the shit is actually for me, or directly about me, or centered on me. like, this shit lost its charm ages ago.
well anyways. i suppose thats all i can think to say now. and it doesn’t make a difference whether i talk about my shitass existence and how crap i feel or not. it just gives the chance for a bit of it to exist in the world via a few other ppl being aware of it for a few minutes maybe, because who DOESNT want to thoroughly read a shit essay by some random weirdo about how everything sucks. the end
#i was innovative and typed this in twitter dark mode so my phone could have a break from me embedding the keyboard in the screen#anyways i wanna dye 😂😂😂
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Episode #1: “brb gotta go to dinner” - Logan
This is literally the worst possible outcome, I would know the 10 fkers on the other tribe and only know of like 2 people on this tribe, sayonara it's a wrap a mere 5 minutes after the cast reveal concluded.
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Omg! So this game started and i landed on a short witches tribe.. Maybe we are short but the humor around Helgamine is definitely tall. Love my tribemates! They are a bunch of really chill and fun to talk to people. At this stage of the game my goal is to get a good grasp on the already existing pre-game relationships within people. This knowledge will allow me to know what to say and to who. Other than that i'm focused on developing bonds with people without approaching them with gametalk. A pretty slow start for me, i don't need at all to jump into making alliances left and right. It's the beginning so its important to just leave a good (and non threatning) impression on my tribemates.Those people seem to want to CALL a lot during the day JASHDKGAHD and i'm still exhausted from study group calls for exams so.. i'm not gonna be trying to do a lot of that. I'm however really excited for what's this game is going to bring up <3
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Gonna do my own first impressions as well, to put some of my thoughts together.
Daisy - oh how i love her.. She's so positive and adorable. We have a pending plan for a call and I'm really looking forward to it. She's more experienced in discord ORGs than me and we are both BaR winners so.. we gotta work together. At least for now. She seems like someone that would be a bigger threat than me down the road.. I feel like we have a potential to work together well and I'd want to establish a duo with her and be partners in crime in this tribe. <3
Scott - OMG the only person in this whole cast that i actually knew before this game? we didn't talk in like 4 years but when i saw him in this cast i literally gasped. I enjoyed catching up with him and he is definitely someone i could see myself aligning with. Yesterday we shared each other concerns about a mention of alliances and alliance calls. And neither of us introduced gametalk with other tribemates. He also mentioned that he wants me to be his #1 in this game. And i'm digging that!
Rob - OKAY our conversation on day 1 was p much awkward.. We have a mutual friend from the fb org and he was mad at me for winning an ORG over her and he literally didn't hestitate on letting me know that.. But we talked a lot yesterday and found out many common interests. He wants us to be like Fenella and Shonee and i mean why not? I really like talking to him but i'm not sure if i can trust him yet. He's the first person that reached out to me about doing a call and we did one today LMAO i had a lot of fun. He's definitely very social so keeping him as close as possible to me can only bring me some benefits. stan him tho <3
Seamus - Someone who i saw around forever but never had any opportunity to talk or meet his ass. i just vibe w/ his clowny personality and already called him a caveman and a half british. <3 hoping to build a good connection here.
Logan - Funny and very active. He definitely stands out as he talks the most in the tribe chat and plans all the tribe calls. We had some good convos so far, mainly about total drama. Love watching his videos for this immunity challenge KSAJDHG but other than that i'm not sure how i feel about him but i would like to get close to him and work together when the game gears will switch on
Jules - She's so adorable and our talks are very cute but... they don't happen very often. And she's not really contributing in the challenge so far which i really hope is going to change because in case we lose i fear that people will view her as an easy prey for the first boot? I hope that won't be the case and that she's going to snap cuz i think she's lovely and i enjoy our conversations.
Conor - Didn't have much to write about him until today. He just dyed his hair to the same color i got last summer so we have no choice but to stan. For real tho, we are the only europeans on this tribe (maybe even entire game?) but i don't have much to say about him. Curious how he will approach the game once we are forced to start playing.
Gage - Hmmmm! I like him, but don't really have any kind of trust towards him. He's just quite flirty and the flow of our conversations is weird/forced? I can't stop thinking abt Dean Kowalski and Spencer whenever he messages me.. It's like he's their survivor child.
Vincent - Great he immediately brought up his twin brother with who i played twice and ended him... twice as well. I literally have no idea how or what to talk about with him :/
Hmm the challenge is almost over
I definitely wasn't a challenge MVP by any means. I think everyone but Scott outscored me. But I did a lot better than I could have expected at the challenge start. 65 points isn't a Dooze-level score but it's a lot better than the 30 points I was expecting earlier.
Click HERE to watch Billy’s Round 1 Video!
Lol I'm super happy to be apart of this season!! So far it's turning out to be a great one and I'm hoping that I can do what I need to in order to get far.
Not gonna lie I just had a feeling we were gonna lose this challenge. Like I just... stink at challenges and knew I wasn't going to do well. So I just made sure I didn't have the worst score. Which I hope puts me in the clear. However, i lowkey get the vibe I might be going just cause the conversations are so... bland. Like no ones come purposing an alliance and such. I know I don't want to be the first person to do so, which means someone's gonna have to step up.
Anyways, here's my thoughts on everyone.
Szymon: he's cool, definitely my #1 out here, we've known each other from previous orgs and such.
Seamus: I know who he is from tumblr, but I don't know him that well. he seems chill.
Daisy: Queen, shes an icon and O hope she can be my female iconic duo
Logan: He seems like he wants to be THAT person who likes to be in control of everything, but doesn't want to come off as controling everything. So I let him think he owns me :)
Vincent: I like him, he's a cool guy and one of the few I've talked to the most. He already told me about his vote steal and I'm just like "damn, look at you go!"
Conor: He's cool too! I enjoy talking to him when I wake up in the morning. I like hearing about him and his boyfriend too.
Gage: home boy likes to flirt around with everyone doesn't he. i'll play a long, but leaving a mental note to not go far with him.
Jules: They're cool, not really that social tho but they try.
Rob: I forget that he's on this season oops.
I really thought I was gonna get the boot first cause everyone is just so quiet. But the conversations seem to be between Jules and Vincent. Which I'm personally okay with either of them as long as I'm still here. I'd prefer Rob though just cause he doesn't make an effort to talk to me that much, but it is what it is.
Let's hope I get by this round and can survive the first boot. I like to think I can, but you never know with this group.
Click HERE to watch Cindi’s Round 1 Video!
Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Round 1 Video!
Tribe Assessment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bPt3M2z-Yw&feature=youtu.be
Day 2 Confession:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU2v9ChlOm4&feature=youtu.be
THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA SAY IM NOT ACTIVE JUST BECAUSE I DONT GIVE MY BLOOD SWEAT TEARS AND COOCHIE TO TALKING TO ALL THESE FUCKING MEN???????? LIKE???? YALL ARE TIRING! YALL ARE ALSO LOVELY BUT I CANNOT TAKE ALL THIS MALE ENERGY!!!!! PLS UNDERSTAND!!!! P L E A S E!!!! MEN SUCK BYE
we lost the challenge which sucked. but i really like my tribe. everyone seems chill. i didnt think we were gonna win the challenge though becase several people didnt rlly try to even get 100. so originally i thought it would just be a super easy vote on vincent because he isnt very chatty, but logan is annoying everyone. asking to one on one call and sinking his own ship by pushing so hard (giggity) for jules to go home. so i think either logan or vincent will go this round
I’m liking my tribe mates more than I expected. I’m just trying to play it cool so I make it to merge. I feel like that’s everyone’s goal. I love the alliance of Cindi, both Dylan’s and myself. I’m hoping that we stick together, because I feel like we can be a really strong alliance moving forward. I also think I might be good with Beck, because they’re dating Asya and we played a game together a couple years ago. Asya apparently still really likes me from what Beck said. So woo! Let’s continue the good vibes.
Click HERE to watch Beck’s Round 1 Video!
Click HERE to watch Ali’s Round 1 Video!
So past 4 hours is a lot to process, but basically i got home expecting a pretty easy vote on Vincent. He's a great kid that but have to think about performing well in the challenges as a tribe. So then miss Logan decided to play as if it was merge and not day 3 and just went off with targetting Jules?? I am not having any of that because Jules is too fun to talk so i made sure to let Jules know immediately of what was going on. I believe i was the first to warn her of what's happening so that brings us two closer.
Logan then went on calls with everyone individually, ending my call in such a shady way with an excuse of having a dinner... when he was just going to call with Seamus. And he told Seamus that he was currently eating the dinner.. WHAT?
Anyway just got the tea that Logan was making multiple trios as well. WHY DO YOU NEED TO PLAY SO HARD? THIS GAME HAS JUST STARTED skjdghd
I feel really bad because he said that he was the first boot the last time he played due to playing hard. But this is just him... not learning from his past mistakes at all :/ Im sorry but i don't feel comfortable moving forward with such a ticking bomb. Neither he or Vincent have any benefit for my game at this point so Im hoping this plan that we put in motion with Daisy to get rid of Logan works, and then we have Vincent as an easy vote next time we lose.
Click HERE to watch Rob’s Round 1 Video!
Click HERE to watch Conor’s Round 1 Video!
Click HERE to watch Dylan’s Round 1 Video!
So I'm more optimistic now that I've properly gotten to know a lot of my tribe, I think I'm socially in a good place but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and get lazy with communication. I love the little group I've got with Beck, Cindi and Dylan and I think Dylan G and Christian or Chips would fit in like a glove if we ever visit tribal council, and we needed to bring in another couple of people.
All I have to say before tribal is that I really... finessed this vote.
Logan got lose and decided to voice call everyone telling them that they need to vote Daisy. Which made a lot of people more on edge to vote out Vincent. I don't want Vincent to go because I think he's still useful. He has the vote steal advantage and I think he's someone who trusts me. He might not be a number for other people, but Vincent is a number for me. SO I want to keep him around as much as I can cause I trust Vincent more than Logan. So to save Vincent, I decided to throw Logan under the bus and push for him to go. I'm glad I did that since that got traction with Szymon and Daisy on board with voting Logan. However, they weren't enough so I campaigned to Seamus, Gage, and Rob to vote Logan out. They were hesitant at first, but they eventually came around and got on the ship to vote Logan out. I had to voicecall Gage, Rob, and Szymon to convince them but I'm glad it worked. I mean, i had to throw out there that I had an alliance with Logan and Vincent in order to get them to expose Logan's other alliances, but I did what I needed to do in order to save Vincent. So with everyone on board to vote out Logan, I think I set myself up to be in a good spot moving forward.
If I'm gonna be the move maker this season, then I guess I'm starting out the game with one of the biggest moves yet. Poor logan being the first boot AGAIN, but that's what happens when you decide to scramble your butt off.
Click HERE to watch Gage’s Round 1 Video!
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Logan is voted out 8-1. He is the first person voted out of Celestial: Behemoth.
Watch the Round 1 Cast Assessment with Anna/Jack/Jones & Alyssa below:
youtube
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i have had a multi part in me since the neymar/cavani saga started so i thought i let it out. some things to get out of the way- cavani is a great player; neymar is a greater player; no hate just straight talk. 1. neymar went there(downgrade in league and club) to be the main man & thats exactly why psg bought him. he certainly wasnt tempted to go there to serve uruguays second best striker. idk what cavani thought abt it but likely it didnt escape him that his position as the team's star is
Anonymous said:2. threatened and he decided to put up a fight and show neymar whos the boss(insisting on all fk/pen, not passing to him). he scored many goals last year but didnt lead psg to trophies. i feel bad for him waiting so long to be the star but he is deluded if he thinks psg will be his team and neymar will accept. id bet my ass he wont. neymar is a better player not only in skills but also in leadership drive- e.g. the remontada. i think neymar tried to work with him(passing to him a lot, not asking
Anonymous said:3. the first couple of games for freekicks/penalties) and that made cavani think this is how its gonna be. idt cavani realizes that theres only one way this will end- with neymar winning, for 2 reasons- psg bought him to be the star of the team and moreover neymar is a better player then cavani. both of those are a fact and not an opinion. this embarassing problem now is the management and coach’s fault. emery may have other great qualities as a coach but HR mgmt doesnt seem to be among those.
Anonymous said:4. this is very bad for this team. *a divided team will win nothing and make no one shine regardless of the quality.* it was increadibly stupid to not address the pen/fk situation from the start,a huge fail by the coach. he didnt think they will both feel entitled to take them?!? one by virtue of being last year’s taker the other by being brought in specifically to lead the team. its like both the coach and cavani thought that if they ignore the potential problem it will just settle by itself.
Anonymous said:5. i read today that some psg brazilians are against neymar in this case- i dont believe that for a second: even if they are not friends already(which most are), they play together for br and with wc next year its in their best interest to keep him happy and well practiced and comfortable in all aspects, penalties and fk included. if he leads br to the wc they will all walk away champions not just him. dani alves tho is not doing neymar any favors by making it look like a playground squabble.
Anonymous said:6. i also read something about cavani saying to neymar on the first day do you think you are messi- i dont buy that either, it would have been openly hostile and childish and immediately soured their relationship irreparably. cavani cant be that dumb. its just an example how the whole situation has become a circus and everyone (media) is taking advantage to invent things. i cant imagine how neymar would have reacted on and off the pitch but it surely would have shown in the first games.
Anonymous said:7(final, thank god lol). lastly, while i do advocate neymar to be the fk/pen taker and psg as his team and i think cavani must fall in line(maybe ruthless but life often if), i dont applaud neymar spotlighting the issue on the pitch- imo he should not have aired it out for the world to discuss and mock. he should have waited and addressed with the coach after the game. probably even after the first game it happened(st etienne?) and not let it escalate as it did vs lyon.
Oh boyyyyy hahah. I think the most - whats the correct English word for this - organized way of answering this is part by part? haha.
I wrote a long rant a day after the controversy with Cavani. I havent posted it on here - only showed it to one person on here - but some things I wrote you also pointed out.
1. Indeed we all know Neymar went to PSG to be a leader and not play second fiddle to Cavani. He learned from the best and decided it was his time to lead. He won’t play under a player like Cavani who talent wise/potential doesn’t come close to Ney.
2. Again: I think the main problem is that both players though they would be responsible for the freekicks/penalties. I can’t remember if Cavani also took all the free kicks in the other matches? (for some reason I think no but I have no idea).
¾: The problem here lies with the coach for me. You can say he’s a new player in the team he should know his place, but he didnt came to PSG to know his place and work his way to the top. He came to PSG because he IS the top and they want to get to the European top. Emery should have known Cavani wanted to be the no1 still and it was clear what Neymar wants to be. If the little incident - that didnt blow up - against St. Etienne, but even after Lyon he couldnt act like a coach and leader and tell the press they will discuss who is the penalty takes…
I like Unai. Don’t get me wrong. What he did with Sevilla was amazing, but at PSG he’s getting exposed. I know it’s not an easy task if you have two players with this talent act liker this, but step up.
5. That’s the most dangerous thing with Ney: agreeing with him just to keep him happy. That’s why I always will find his transfer to PSG dangerous because I think with his personality he also needs someone who tells him the truth from time to time. Who tells him when he’s being a brat, when he should stfu and man up. Dani is annoying me since he left Juve the way he did so I won’t comment on him (since it won’t be good haha). But it’s bs to say Marquinhos is annoyed by him. I see him even more with Marquinhos than with Dani tbh (I love Marquinhos btw. What a sweetheart). Maybe Moura can secretly be annoyed by his arrival since PSG has to get rid of a few players and he’s one of them.
6. These full quotes always amaze me and - after this whole PSG transfer sage - I know not to believe them tbh.
7. That would mean Ney would think instead of acting immediately and - with all due respect to my hotheaded munchkin - he doesn’t so that in the moment. Also one of his biggest weakness but also what makes him world class. He doesn’t think when he’s on the field and just does what comes to mind. With the ball that’s good without it, it’s dangerous and it showed us manny times it can be (in the past also).
To be honest it’s weird for me because I dont give af about PSG, but I care about Ney. So I can’t think in only Ney’s interest since I know he needs this team to achieve his goals with them… Normally - like most of the other football fans - I would have laughed at all these troubles for a buying team like PSG, but when you’re fave plays for them it’s like you wanna laugh, and you laugh, but then you realize Ney is in this mess too…
PSG has a lot of problems to be honest and I don’t know how Bayern is doing - probably amazing - but they have more thing to worry about other than this incident. The fact is also that they are - even with all these buys - play very badly, slow tempo, wrong passes and with some players who don’t even deserve to be on the team. They have much work cut out for them even without this shit. And all eyes will be on them more then ever and most people outside of France hope they will fail.
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I am an Aries sun with a Virgo moon and my best friend is a Gemini sun with an Aries moon - what do you think of the pairing?
hmmm okay so first things first if ur an aries sun virgo moon ur sense of self is STRONG nd rooted in taking action and leadership, starting new projects, ur full of energy nd constantly want to b trying new things, doing things Ur way aries r v individual nd kind of channel the whole its my way or the highway state of mind. however virgos r v practical nd analytical, rl problem solvers, often other peoples tbh, they enjoy helping others nd often people will catch onto this nd will take advantage of their helpful nature. even tho virgos enjoy helping others being used will make them feel betrayed. big on refinement. theyre never satisfied with how things are, hence helping others change, nd need to constantly improve things on a practical level. imo virgo moons r highly emotionally intelligent. bc its ur moon id say ur probably very supportive and helpful when ur friends r unhappy. not a big listener (aries sun) but practical solutions r ur shit, ppl come to u for help bc u might not hav the knack of knowing what to say but u Always kno what to do. same w ur own emotions, altho u think thru ur problems u rarely allow ur emotions to rule u, u think practically nd solve the problem like a puzzle. virgos may not allow themselves to feel as much as necessary but they dont let their own issues go unfixed. gonna hav a bit of a Clash w ur aries impulsivity nd ur virgo need for structure nd routine, u trust ur instincts but when ur instincts r wrong ur impulsive behaviour can cause panic (id like 2 add ur instincts r Probably often right tho). also CONTROL it just occured to me aries sun virgo moons r going 2 b controlling as FUCK aries need control in the form of leadership nd not being told what to do nd virgos need control in the form of structure nd routine YIKES. losing control of urself is a Big Fear. as for ur friend geminis r fun nd social nd good friends 2 hav !!! often their personalities hav a sort of duality to em so if ur not close friends its possible u dont kno what everything abt them, but if u are close u might b one of the lucky few who do. indecisive, always in 2 minds !!! geminis, unlike aries, never kno what tha FUCK they want. so they try everything. well, they need 2 anyway, a gemini who is limiting themselves is gonna feel trapped nd v small nd generally unhappy. lucky 4 ur friend, ur an aries !!! so u gotta b tryin a bit of everything too!!! aries throw themselves headfirst into everything nd dont think abt the consequences (tho ur virgo moon means that its v likely the consequences r always in the back of ur mind somewhere), nd bc aries r so enthusiastic nd ready for challenge its likely u drag ur friend into all the shit u get into. u call the shots in this relationship. geminis cant make decisions for shit nd aries like to b the leader so id say ur probably making all the decisions for them nd mayb not even realising it? its so ingrained in ur nature to b the decision maker nd geminis r so willing to rely on others to make their decisions for them u might not even notice it happening. also w their aries moon they probs experience emotion nd their inner self the way u experience ur own personality nd outward self nd so u probably connect from this on a very deep level !!! even if u dont feel similar or recognise that this is the reason for ur connection seeing as its ur sun nd their moon in aries so theirs is more hidden, u most likely feel a connection that u mayb couldnt put ur finger on or explain before. u relate to eachother, but v subtly. imo its likely ur friend looks up to u a lot !!! they recognise their inner self in u and their gemini sun gives way a bit to this bc geminis usually hav a p unstable sense of self (opposite of an aries!) nd needs u to recognise their emotional side. before they reveal/ed their full personality to u, its likely they first show/ed u their more emotional, personal side bc of their moon connection to u. also geminis nd virgos r a match made in heaven imo! both r smart as heck nd good for eachother, virgos r gonna help geminis make decisions that r best for them nd not necessarily for u (soz aries but ur decisions r p much always in ur own interest) nd geminis r gonna b suuuper mentally stimulating for virgos bc they hav so many thoughts nd ideas nd virgos love to come to their own conclusions on them. ur friend nd u r probs close on an emotional level despite initial personality differences. i think im gonna end this soon bc its quite long but my main advice would be: listen to ur moon signs!!!!! ur gemini friend could feel that ur overbearing as ur so strong minded nd theyre not, nd u might not always respect them as an individual. a pissed off gemini is not someone u wanna b around. passive aggressive, will bitch behind ur back, nd if things get too much for ur friend they will EXPLODE on u (aries moon) nd u might feel confused abt what uve done wrong bc taking control is so natural to u. plus theyre not clear at all, geminis might b snappy nd vindictive nd wont fully explain the problem to u at all. terrible for ur virgo moon bc u Need To Solve It. ur gemini friend needs to listen to their moon sign so this doesnt happen. theyre an aries like u!!! deep down they kno what they want theyre just scared to express it. but if they express it nd make decisions for themselves sometimes, its gonna save a lot of bother. u need to listen to ur virgo moon nd help ur friend come to their own decisions nd realise that sometimes u need to let them do their own thing nd emotionally support them w this. ur relationship could b v v strong especially w the same signs (bonus point I think an aries sun nd an aries moon hav more potential to b close than 2 aries suns bc they’d both b so strong minded nd hav such a need for individuality theres more potential to clash than w a sun nd moon, the latter of which is more subdued) u connect in a way of unexplained understanding, but theres also potential for a power imbalance, namely u overpowering ur friend. not that geminis r weak, theyll come back at u in their own quiet way if u piss them off theyll play some fucked up mind games w u, but id say that if u both pay attention to what ur moon instincts r telling u, theres nothing stopping u from having a strong nd close relationship w a lot of mutual understanding
thank u!!!
//send me ur signs nd ask me things//
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ok so i watched love simon for the first time last night & i was too tired to make a ‘final thoughts’ post then, so here it is now! lol
obviously this is gonna be long as hell so im putting it under a read more for ur convenience lmfao
im actually gonna start with what i didnt like bc it was just one thing.
obviously, if uve seen the movie (as many ppl hated this too), or read my liveblogging posts, u know what it is lol
ill be honest, as a gay person, im incredibly biased towards simon. ill admit that. that being said, how his friends treated him after he got outed was fucking disgusting.
here’s the thing: the actions simon did that his friends got upset over were motivated by the threat of him being outed. now, if this movie was just some fluffy, fantastical movie, the threat would just be ppl knowing he’s gay and that’s it. no repercussions, just ppl gaining the knowledge that he’s not straight. not that big a deal.
however, since this movie tries its best to be accurate and realistic to things, it’s not that simple in the movie, and it’s not the simple in real life.
the risk of being outed is not just ‘ppl knowing ur gay’ and that’s it.
the risk of being outed involves the risk of getting bullied (which does happen in the movie, twice. once to ethan on screen, once to simon after he comes out.), getting abandoned by ur friends (which also does happen in the movie), getting expelled from school or fired from ur job if either of them find out & are lgbtphobic, getting kicked out of ur house if ur parents/whoever u live w find out & theyre lgbtphobic, and, at worst, it can come with the risk of getting beaten or even killed.
and no, this isnt me blowing this up to be more serious than it should be. bc unfortunately, in the world we live in, these things can happen as a result of someone being lgbt, whether they came out themselves or were outed by someone else.
the worst thing simon did was hurt his friends’ feelings a bit.
he didnt notice leah’s feelings for him (which. why would he? he’s not interested in her, or any girl for that matter, so obviously he’s not looking for the signs of interest. why would he notice that, and why was it his responsibility to know anyway??). he tried to set nick up with her because he genuinely thought she had feelings for nick, and that’s the main reason why he didn’t realize that she liked him.
yes, part of the motive was trying to get nick out the way so he could set abby up with martin, but ffs. let me reiterate that his life, and potential future, were on the line. having the possibility of all the aforementioned things potentially happening to him should make his actions at least understandable.
like falling for someone that doesnt like u back bc theyre not attracted to ur gender (which like.. hello. gay ppl fucking experience that shit all the time too & we have to learn to deal w it.), or being put in a game of matchmaker bc ur friend was trying to save their own fucking life is rly not that big a deal compared to said friend’s situation of trying to save their own fucking life.
one situation hurts, but can eventually be healed from (which clearly they do in the movie since abby and nick got together anyway in spite of simon’s actions, and leah’s fine). the other situation has the chance of resulting in a fucking future/life being ruined or taken. i think that one is much more fucking important.
all in all, i just wish they wouldve fucking apologized. bc they screamed at him after he got outed.
abby saw how fucking terrified he was when he came out to her, but she’s not gonna have a single ounce of sympathy when he was outed to the entire school against his will?? like what the fuck!
also wish they wouldve stood up for him when he got bullied. they just sat there with guilty expressions, but none of them did anything. it was really rough to watch.
as much as all this seriously pissed me off, though, especially as a person who has been outed against my will so all of simon’s heartache as a result rly resonated with me..
i appreciate that they put that shit in.
bc u know what unfortunately that is how cishet ppl react sometimes. guilting u for being lgbt, guilting u for not coming out to them despite knowing how scary it can be, etc etc etc.
and getting apologizes from cishet ppl for that kinda shit is rare. so, as much as i was annoyed that they didnt apologize, that is unfortunately realistic. as much as i wish they wouldve stood up for him, that was also unfortunately realistic. so im still glad it’s in there even if it did piss me off.
simon’s speech to martin was nice at least, and i hope that it taught some cishet ppl that have outed ppl, or threatened to out ppl, or wanted to out ppl, why u just dont fucking do that shit.
woo now that that’s outta my system lmfao onto all the good stuff! in bullet list form bc theres a l o t lmfao
the soundtrack ESP for the emotional moments wOw
‘i wanna dance with somebody’ gay musical addition
simon’s subtle annoyed looks whenever straight nonsense™ happens
simon’s terrible attempts at being straight
simon’s extremely subtle, but still noticeable if ur lgbt, panic whenever the potential chance of him being outed/discovered arises
the dog
simon’s parents’ speeches to him after he comes out to them
seriously as gay, nb person w lgbtphobic parents that shit meant a lot to hear.
the fact that this is not only a mainstream lgbt rom-com, but also a mainstream movie abt a gay kid learning to love himself and be confident with himself and his sexuality
simon’s journey to being able to proudly proclaim that he’s gay.
the speech he has near the end is so fucking powerful bc we see him struggle throughout the movie to say it.
first he cant say it at all, then he can only say it quietly, but by the end of the movie, he’s proclaiming to the entire school, loud and proud, that yes. he is gay. and he’s not going to feel wrong for that anymore.
i feel like that entire journey is one that can really resonate with a lot of ppl, including myself. so im so fucking happy that this movie included that progression, and ended it with him having such an exuberant amount of confidence. it was honestly really beautiful, and im glad i got to witness it.
simon practicing pickup lines in the mirror
“hey barack its me jacques”
abby trying to teach simon how to flirt
simon googling “how to dress like a gay guy”
simon not having martin’s bullshit and telling him off for how fucked up blackmailing him was from the start, but especially his speech about how important/personal coming out is to ppl and how shitty it was that he took that away from him
MRS ALBRIGHT IN GENERAL BUT ESPECIALLY HER ICONICALLY STICKING UP FOR SIMON IN THE CAFETERIA I STAN HER SO HARD!!
ethan in general, but especially his speech to simon in the office, and super especially the line “one gay’s a snnooze, two’s a hilarious hate crime”
like i seriously appreciate how real this movie is. and it doesnt have lines like this, or plots like the blackmailing/outing just for drama.
it’s to show that this is how being lgbt can be sometimes, this shit rly happens. and i just rly appreciated seeing all that in a way that didnt even try to pull any punches. it was so clear they seriously cared abt making this an accurate movie, and that meant a lot
GETTING TO SEE TWO BOYS KISSING ON SCREEN MULTIPLE TIMES, AND NOT JUST THAT, BUT GETTING TO SEE THEM GET A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!
i seriously cried for like 20 minutes starting from when bram showed up at the ferris wheel to well after the credits had ended.
i cannot even begin to express how fucking incredible it was to get to see two boys kissing, getting cheered on, and getting to be happy.
especially in the scene where simon picks up everyone, and leah moves so bram can get in the front seat and he kisses simon when he gets in. IT WAS SO SWEET.. AND BEAUTIFUL I LOVED/APPRECIATED IT SO MUCH IT MEANT SOOOO FUCKING MUCH TO ME GOSH
my thoughts of the movie can be boiled down to this: im so fucking happy this movie exists.
im so fucking happy that a movie abt a gay kid learning to be confident in his sexuality, falling in love and getting to have a happy ending with his boyfriend exists.
ive never cried more at a movie than i did at this movie, and ive especially never cried harder out of sheer happiness for a movie.
knowing that this movie was in theaters, and that gay kids/teens have a movie that lets them know early on that not only is gonna be ok, but they do have a chance at a happy ending, and they deserve it, was so goddamn amazing.
this movie is so, so important. and im so happy that it, and the book its based off of, exist.
and it’s a prime example of why representation matters so much. it was so fucking amazing to see myself, as a gay person, represented so well, so thoughtfully, so respectfully.
i just... i love this movie so much. and im so glad it exists. and im so happy i finally got to see it.
i hope it inspires more movies/stories like it to be made.
i hope that it results in lgbt stories being happy, uplifting stories.
i hope that it results in lgbt characters getting to be the main characters.
i hope it results in coming out stories being about the lgbt characters, and not how them coming out affects the cishet characters around them.
and i hope it results in less tragic endings for lgbt characters, and more happy endings for lgbt characters.
for a long time, a future where we get the stories just mentioned has seemed bleak. but this movie changed that. and im excited for the road i hope it’s started us on.
#long post//#text heavy//#gotta fight the urge to rewatch it a million times now tbh tktjrkjrtj#potentially new fav movie? or at least fav live action movie#aaa im just. i love!! sm!!! bless...#luna watches love simon#homophobia mention//
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Episode 7: “I just don’t think that makes sense” - Jared
Hello Elmo - welcome to your tape.
We once again meet in an org. I was very excited to 1. make merge 2. to meet up with u in another org and to have the chance to work with you. However my excitement was almost immediately ruined. I asked if you want to work together and was greeted with "if our plans align". This was my first red flag of a few tonight. "If" not hey lets make our plans align nd work together, just a sort of ok sure if it swings that way. So I said that to you, we should make them align. You replied with "kk." BITCH TF DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. And then you're all like I'm so happy you made merge you deserve this. Ok whatever I know that's just you trying to change the subject, which you do a lot when you want to avoid things hmmm.
Then we start discussing HvV nd I made a joke about you maybe fucking me over here after I said I trusted you...you left me on read....so I'm not just gonna sit there and take that. I was like ok I see where I stand with you. And you're like nooo I want us to work together but also if you think you wanna vote me out because it's best for your game then don't be afraid to do that ~ and trust me I'm not scared to vote you out. I did it once before, I'll do it again. You did say that wasn't you plotting against me, and I sure as fuck hope you meant that because my dumbass does want to work with you even if right now I feel similar to how I did before and like I'm not your closest person, which really did affect us I think oops. We love having no trust in a duo.
I let this go because I fully understand that hey maybe things won't work out for us in this org, although I'm really hoping they do. Then you're like hey lets guess for the idol together. Okay sounds promising doesn't it? think again. Turns out you gave your guesses to Justin and Zack. I'm glad you did tell me this though because it shows there's a little bit of trust, but I am wondering where that puts me in all of this. How close are you to Justin and Zack?
I adore you and if you do feel you need to vote me out then so be it, I respect that and there wont be any hard feelings, but don't think I won't fight you for this. Hopefully I am just reading too much into things and you are wanting to work closely with me. I do pray we end up working together, I plan on trusting you more even if I do feel right now that is going to be a risk, but it's one I am willing to take. I know you're an absolute social king.
I am the social queen, a king needs a queen but a queen does not need a king. Remember that.
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YEEHAW BITCHES I MADE MERGE.
Been to every tribal council so far, plan on being here until the final tribal council. I'm not a threat I swear.
I made it to merge! This is very exciting considering this is my first discord game and I can sorta function on it so thats good. I've had the pleasure of hardly participating in any challenges and only going to the joint tribal where Dean was voted out. I pretty much have no real relationships in the game since I haven't had to really count on anyone in a tribal. The good news is a lot of people were messaging me last night even those who I haven't had a chance to be on a tribe with yet like Chloe and Bodhi. Well...I've played with Bodhi in several other seasons before and I'm glad I have an excuse to talk to him again but I also know how cut throat he can be. The good news is that Johnny told me that Jared along with Bodhi, Joey, and Asya would potentially work with us. This is good. As long as people are interested that should at least keep people away from voting for me. I've also been reunited with Justin. We were on our first tribe together and I thought that we could work well together. There is also Ben and Elmo. I think I've done surprisingly well and being connected with those in the tribe despite my "inactiveness". Johnny is def my number one but I also don't want our games to be the same. I also have a lot of trust in Elmo and it doesn't look like he is as well integrated or at least maybe is a little UTR too. If it looks like Johnny and I are just making the same decisions, I think people may side with Johnny. So its important that I stay alert to new opportunities and make sure that I'm looking out for myself. I think I've been playing an UTR kind of game so far and I'd like to continue doing that. If people like me or at least don't mind having me around then no one will throw out my name as a target. I submitted my video for the talent challenge and just hope that I don't get negative comments.
I MADE MERGEEEEEE FUCKING FINALLY.
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I need to rely heavily on an outside social presence, I need to keep up the fact that I’m working to ensure a heavy background role. I have a lot of ORG experience, and I often want to draw from the best players that I know, and combine most of their unique gameplay qualities. A few examples I’m going to be using is Michael mepole’s strategy for Touchy Subjects when he puts all his positive answers on much bigger targets than him in order to create a narrative and slide into the background. TJP, one of my best friends outside of games plays a game built heavily on strategy and sociability, which while I’m at my new place, is giving me more flexibility to play games and work on my one big flaw: my social game. I said previously that in this game, I have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain. Survivor is the closest thing to being a good running back in football. Some running backs like Le’Veon Bell are very patient, and wait for holes to open up so they can explode. If I can have 15% of that patience in this game, the entire season will open up BEAUTIFULLY for me. It is absolutely imperative that I make sure Jared and Johnny are the two most vocal players in our alliance, because I have more freedom than anyone else in this game, having never made merge in an ORG game(Fuck you Trevino) before, the sky is the absolute limit. I need to keep others at bay, and kind of do what Ian did: build a wall and make it nearly impossible to have a social game with me.
Just found an advantage, so im pretty much a king. thanks lov u
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i’m so annoy eeeeed
johnny really lost his vote for a legacy advantage that now serves literally no purpose so that’s sexy. now we (me, johnny, jared, bodhi, joey) have to depend on anabel and i guess lily for this vote. also they wanna kill chloe which is ugly and not what i want so like.
i know anabel doesn’t wanna kill chloe but that might just be because she’s a facebook person. anabel and myself both wanna vote lily and for some reason that’s just not translating to these people. like y’all want lily to be our extra vote but that could easily be chloe, especially when anabel is the one who can swing it in our favor and she wants lily out like.
anyways my alternate solution was just to vote out one of the facebook men. idc who. then we can get lily on board and probably chloe, and we don’t need anabels vote. like if y’all are so worried abt facebook people then what i’m saying makes sense. chloe has shown an interest in working with me and none of y’all have heard shit from the others so?
anyways i get mad when i don’t get my way so sorry for all the ugliness i know will follow after this,,,,, ur all beautiful except for stinky johnny and his stinky legacy advantage
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so this is my first tribal ever, im immune, and thats super cute and hot and everything, but u know what’s cuter and hotter?? this bitch right here is ab to do somethin crazy and perhaps stupid but it’ll provide good television!!! jared johnny bodhi joey asya and maybe lily and all want me to vote chloe and i have said that im down w that. HOWEVER, elmo justin zack chloe and ben are voting joey and they think im doing the same. im a bit conflicted rn. i am thinking i want to go w elmo bc he’s the person i trust a lot, but i really need to talk to like johnny bc he can’t vote this round, and i also trust him a lot!!! so basically we’re looking at 5 voting chloe, 5 voting joey, and then me. and whatever i do is what happens. not really quite sure if this is a good position to be in, i have 11 ppl who think im with them and that ill do whatever they say, but im not really ab that... i just rly need to talk to johnny bc he’s the person who’s gonna give me answers and insight and everything i need but he’s at WORK and this rly sucks. stay tuned for my decision LOL
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idk if i mentioned this in my last one but... the condition for me voting joey is that chloe zack justin elmo and ben have to say it was lily and NOT me. if this works im going to pee myself..
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so everyone except zack knows ab my big huge plan and if he would JUST FUCKING GET ON i would love to tell him.... i feel like all this shit is so unnecessary for the first merge vote, but they started it. so if they’re gonna be crazy, i am gonna be crazier. and that’s just the tea. putting on my big girl panties and walkin into tribal w a plan in my head, a smile on my face, and lies on my lips (wow that’s poetic)
this is copied from my thread but thats fine:
SO ANABEL SAYS TAHT SHE WANTS TO CALL!
so we call and she drops a bomb that there is a big grp of tumblrs working together trying to get chloe out
and im like hmm huh
and she asks me not to tell anyone
and im like thats fine
i think that
i convinced to anabel that she can flip to our side
bc if she does that
then joey should leave 6v5 bc johnny cannot vote
i also convinced anabel to tell everyone
on the other side
aka FB + Ben side
so now i dont have to tell them
and i dont incriminate my alliance between anabel
i think that if this works
it would be so good for me...
like even if chloe leaves i should be in a good position
its much favorable if joey leaves but
chloe leaving is not HORRIBLE for me
that being said theres no way i would vote chloe out
bc it doesnt make sense considering they are not even including me in the plan
but yeah im kinda excited that my social game is snapping rn
UPDATE: i think that i got anabel to flip and i rly want chloe to stay now bc i think she'd rly wanna work w me if she gets saved. ZACK FLORES U BETTER NOT SELF VOTE OR ALL OF THIS WILL GO TO SHIT!
PRAYS TO HAWAIIAN GODS FOR THIS TO WORK.
OMGGGGG THIS IS CRAZY.
queen anabel is honestly doing what i think will be the best thing for her game and informing us (me, elmo, justin, chloe, ben) what the rest of the cast is doing and voting out chloe. anabel a snake QUEEN and wants us to blame lilly after all of this and i am SO FOR THAT.
i just hope anabel isnt really working with them and the other side plan on like blindsiding me or something. idk.. if joey winds up going home then this will be so good and i will love anabel so fucking much. all HAIL the snake queen! anabel legend. just pls dont be lying to me bc idk our call we just had did seem a lil quick and shit..
today i am voting out johnny. i hate the judges of the last challenge except for anna dad. anna dad is cool..
This round is crazy i wish i had recorded audio.
{ ok this is part is written today: i forgot that my confessional was so shitty last round. everything below this will be falsified confessional trying to get back into my head from last round }
So tonight chlohie should be leaving. We have majority but Joey is getting some votes too. It'll be 6-5 and joey will be safe. I would be totally shocked if Joey were to leave.
What time is it? *clap clap* it's that time where I over share my feelings in here yeehawwwwww.
So going into this tribal this morning, ya girl was nervous. It was quiet. Too quiet. The first name I hear is Joey, I'm kinda like oh no I like him but he's not too active so okay. As the day progresses and I'm still not hearing anything, the alarm bells start to go off a bit. I'm trying to tell myself I'm just being over paranoid, it's okay, I am fine, it's just a simple merge vote.
All of a sudden I get Anabel rushing into my messages telling me she wants to call, I'm like ok cute bonding experience I'm here for it. Ben then in my messages saying to be prepared for the shit show that Anabel is about to tell me. I can feel my pulse rising I be looking like spongebob up in this bitch just shooketh.
I call Anabel. She's like sis ur being targeted. Im like you're fucking kidding. Shocked but not surprised. Asya, who I thought was my homegirl, now up in this bitch wanting to vote me. People I been talking to all day being like wow I'm nervous be wanting to vote me. And why? Am I a threat? AM I REALLY A FUCKING THREAT? I been to every tribal council yea, but at the same time I'VE BEEN TO EVERY TRIBAL COUNCIL. PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK AND STOP TARGETTING ME FOR 2 SECONDS.
So where I think I stand right now - I'm working with Zack, Justin and Elmo hardcore. We have Asya, Bodhi, Joey, Lily and Jared on the other side. Then in the middle there's Ben and Anabel. But then Johnny I'm shitting myself about because I've no idea where he stands right now. If this goes to plan Joey will go home tonight instead of me.
Watch yourself Asya, I thought we had each others back. You apparently just want to stab me in mine.
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just made like a pretty lengthy lowkey negative confessional. So here's a positive one.
I've decided that I love Elmo again and I adore him fully as a person he makes me so so happy and I'm happy to actually have a shot at fixing out broken org relationship. He's fully one of my favouritest people I've ever met EVER. and I'm so so so happy I get to play with him again.
Zack I also love so much, I feel we've never had the proper chance to connect but we kinda highkey doing it here and I want to go far with him. He always makes me smile no matter what. I just really really hope he's having fun.
Justin I also love a lot, at first I was kinda unsure about him. He reminds me a lot of myself. But now I couldn't imagine this game without him. He is a strong player but I fully admire him. I'm glad I got to meet him for the first time ever in this game and I sure hope we continue to be friends even after it ends.
These 3 people make my little heart sing and although I'm not in the position I thought I would be in right now, part of me is glad. I think we're just going to be brought closer and I'm excited to see what future tribals hold for us.
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DUDE CAN WE JUST VOTE OUT CHLOE SO I CAN ACTUALLY STAY
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Joey is voted out 6-5. He becomes the first member of the jury.
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no one cares but uhhh time 4 some kh3 opinions
god i love olympus. it was a rly nice world to be reintroduced to and i actually rly loved whats essentially a tutorial level.
and while im sorta implying game mechanics - i actually rly love the way kh3 plays. the fighting feels pretty fluid imo and i really love formchanges a lot more than i did in kh2
and by formchanges i mean
just. i guess just the formchanges from shooting star and hunny spout - more shooting star tho bc its just. rly fun to nyoom around
uhhhhh what else
im sad abt twilight town bc it was one of my fave worlds in kh2 tbh and now its just. its so tiny. its gorgeous but its just so small and i would have loved to be able to see the usual spot at the very least???
HAYNER. PENCE. OLETTE. i love them. especially hayner tryin 2 fuckin kick ansem sod like u stupid boy i love u
also i never expected to love ienzo as much as i do but i love him w my entire god damn heart. a cute dude. 10/10 i can and will die for him
and speaking of characters i love a lot: demyx, axel, and larxene are all still <3333 for me. axel and demyx have been since 2, and larxene started w 3 and intensified when i met her in kh re:com because ugh she could literally slam me against a wall and i’d be heart eyes emoji at her
listen i loved playing as riku in 3D and i wish i could play as him more.
AQUA. MY GIRL. i loved fighting as her even tho i nearly died in the process once or twice but-
also!!!! waking ven up!!!!!! my boy!!!! i love ventus so much and hes probably one of my fave characters its just <333 to see my boy awake again
possibly also intensified by the fact i recently beat bbs and watched him sleeb
i already shared my thoughts on the paopu scene.
uh back 2 worlds
i think my fave worlds so far would be a huge tie between the kingdom of corona and san fransokyo??? which... im probably biased because i rly love tangled and bh6 but
i love eugene so much sdfkjhsdf hes just. one of my fave disney guys honestly.
and UHHH
TWO??? BAYMAXES???? i was so excited when i saw both of them bc baymax has been one of my favorite characters for a while now and bh6 is still one of my fave movies even tho i desperately need to rewatch it soon.
i tried to get a pic of hiro being hugged by both of them just so i could send it to a pal and say “god i wish this were me” but sdkfsdhf
uhhh least favorite world out of all of them is definitely the caribbean :/// FUCK luxord and that boat race. it was bullshit and i lost too many times bc i literally like. had the tutorial on how to steer boat and i went “oh no. ohhh no. oh no.” because i Knew what was coming because you dont just introduce new mechanics like that without putting in some kind of challenge with them tbh :/
but no, seriously, this world literally ruined any sort of replayability for me??? like. i’d replay the game, but i’d get to the caribbean and go “oh fuck, not this part” and die i guess
arendelle was.... ok. not my favorite world, but not my least favorite in the series at all. i wish they could have done more.
100 acre wood felt... rushed. im glad they included it bc theyve had it in every game im p sure??? or at least in most of them. i do love the minigames and its still a good happy place
ALSO. SPEAKING OF 100 ACRE WOODS AND MINIGAMES
i got so excited to see remy in twilight town
mr ratatouille im a huge fan
(idk how many ppl i dmed that with 0 context and they were like “ok then” but it was a lot)
monstropolis was fun! i grew up watching monsters inc a thousand times w my brother so it was just another <333 nostalgia thing for me
TOY BOX WAS LIKE. VERY MIXED FOR ME??? i love the world and what it is, but i didnt enjoy certain parts of it
mainly also that opening bc that commercial confused me a lot before it was revealed to be a commercial
lets talk forms.
toy box sora: good design imo. very cute.
monstropolis sora: also very cute. his lil tail...
the caribbean sora: honestly, as much as i hate this world, i absolutely adore this design??? hes so cute and he actually fits in with the world because kh2... the contrast there is rly funny sfkjjshf
uhhhhhh main complaint: can we talk about the writing in this game? mainly the female characters?
i was hoping for badass kairi. shes a keyblade wielder for christs sake! but instead shes stuck in another pretty pink dress and shoved into the background.
and while we’re on kairi: i wanna know more about her friendship with axel???
i actually really like concepts brought up with aqua. she stayed hopeful for so long, anti-aqua was an interesting concept! im also an awful person who likes to break characters sometimes for the development it brings but something tells me not much is going to come from this. she was left alone down there for so long, and when she had a shot at potentially escaping, she lost it. :(
thank u san fransokyo for giving us some good gals. i love go-go and honey lemon a lot since hell yea!!! smart gals kickin ass!!! love them.
i feel ROBBED of having elsa as a companion. i guess it makes sense but i was hoping to have her fuck shit up after accepting her ice powers bc her kingdom was in trouble Or Some Shit like cmon man :(
also why was the entirety of let it go in kh3. it looks so good but why.
were there any other female characters??? olette im relatively ok w since shes not supposed to be some super strong fighter or anything im p sure - and the other female characters in different worlds either didnt stand out enough for me to have any feelings towards
sora feels... off in this game. so does riku. idk what it is, but...
OH
THE DYNAMICS BETWEEN SORA, DONALD, AND GOOFY???
they’re so good.
i was smiling so hard at the “just like your face!” joke because it was so DUMB but it was so CUTE and i love the three of them being good pals and making dumb jokes together
i also love mickey and riku havin a good friendship there.
even if i did make the “mickeyriku is canon” joke when they reunited at the end of 2. it was purely to stop myself from crying.
but idk as much as i love sora, donald, and goofy gettin some good friendship stuff in - it feels like
thats where all the focus was for sora’s friendships? like.
idk he doesnt really talk to kairi or riku as far as i remember???? more kairi than riku but like. still. theyre supposed to be two of his closest friends tht he grew up with, and yet he doesnt??? really make any comments abt communicating w them from what i can remember???
like. the most he had was calling riku i think? and then going to the realm of darkness to get riku and the king back.
i wonder how much of the kh3 plot would change if we took kairi out
huh
#mj plays kh3#kh3 spoilers#im just ramblin a lot#bc im takin a break from re:com for a bit#im gonna go back to it in like. the next five-ten minutes bc ive been takin a break for a couple hours now#but still sfjksdhf#i have a lot of mixed feelings about 3
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