#i guess. idk if this counts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starlitangels · 1 year

Text

“Last Night (Mistake)” Alternative Situations

I bungled some opportunities when I wrote “Last Night (Mistake)”. Allow me to fix that with a pair of different setups and a different opening

Assuming Blake and Elliott are around the same age, their senior year of high school was either 2012 or 2013 so that’s about when these take place

This is a lot of spice. No smut but Very Spicy. Don’t read it while you’re at work or in class

2.7k words

—

Alternative Situation #1

One of my many playlists thumping away its beat from my iPod Touch, I sat on one corner of Blake’s bed in his basement bedroom, him on the other end. I had my feet up on his leg and he was fiddling with the seam of my sock while reading his textbook. I had my review packet on my lap, but I’d glazed over trying to read it two songs ago. My eyes scanned the paragraphs of important information but the letters and words were all meaningless as my focus continued to dwindle.

“Blake?” I asked.

“Mm?”

“My brain is gonna melt out of my ears.”

“Sorry. Need a break?”

“Probably. Just stand up for a few minutes. Get some blood flow back to my brain or something.”

I moved to get my feet off of him, but he wrapped one hand around my ankle.

Before I could even ask what he was doing, he ran one fingertip up the sole of my foot.

I yelped and kicked. “Hey! No tickles!”

He smirked. His grip on my ankle tightened. He tickled with more fingers.

I squirmed and kicked harder. “Blake!” I reached behind me—my review packet falling to the ground, forgotten—and grabbed one of his pillows and bringing it around to whack him with it.

It hit him in the face with an “Oof!”

He cackled and tried to grab it from me, but I didn’t let it go and moved to whack him again. Not in the face this time.

He snatched it out of my hands with less difficulty and tossed it halfway across his room. “If you’re gonna hit me, be brave and just hit me,” he said with a smile.

I whacked him in the arm with the back of my hand. “No! I don’t actually want to hurt you,” I said.

He shrugged and grabbed my ankle again, moving as though to tickle my foot again.

“No!” I protested, kicking and actually releasing myself this time.

I drew my feet off his lap and folded them closer to me until I was sitting cross-legged. Biting his lip in concentration, Blake leaned over the bed toward me like he was going to try to tickle me again. I scrambled backward until my spine pressed against the headboard of his bed.

“No. No-no,” I said.

He paused and withdrew. “Do you really wanna stop? I-if you’re not comfortable... I mean, I thought we were just messing around. I meant to just be messing around. If that’s not how you see it and you want to stop I’m fine to.”

I gestured vaguely. “I’m just not a big fan of being tickled,” I said.

“So... what if I do... this?” He snapped his fingers—

And the pillow catapulted from the floor and hit me right in the head.

“You jerk!” I exclaimed through a laugh. “Oh, you are gonna get it now!” I grabbed the pillow and started hitting him with it. He laughed and lunged to grab his other pillow to fight back, but I blocked him. “Oh no you don’t!”

He grabbed my leg and yanked me away from his headboard so he could go over the top of me to grab at the pillow where I couldn’t block him. His fingertips dug into my inner thigh for a better grip—sending a thrill of sensitive sensation up my spine and making me go weak. I sucked in a deep breath, realizing how dry my mouth was.

Blake sensed the shift—

But didn’t let go of my leg. Didn’t loosen his grip. Just stayed where he was, above me, looking down. Pupils blown wide and eyes wider. His other hand was bracing into his pillow over my head where he’d grabbed at it, leaving him somewhat diagonal over me.

The playful mood was gone, leaving a charged atmosphere in its place.

“B... Blake...”

My voice was breathless. I didn’t even know what I was saying. Was I warning him off? Spurring him on?

He licked his lips and shifted his weight backward. Just enough to take pressure off his other hand.

He ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek, then my neck. At the curve where it met my shoulder, I gasped slightly at that thrill again. Every muscle in my back went slack and my eyelids fluttered. “Oh God...” I breathed.

Blake lifted his fingers off my neck, but the fingertips of his other hand tested their grip on the inside of my thigh, squeezing.

I bit back the little moan that rose, unbidden, to my throat. But some of the sound was still audible over the playlist continuing to play over Blake’s small set of speakers.

Slowly, he lowered himself down.

Delicately feather-light, he brushed his lips to mine.

Wound so tight, that gentle sensation made me snap. I grabbed at his head and held him close to me, kissing him harder.

He replied with equal enthusiasm. Massaging his hand against both of my inner thighs and scooping the noises I made from it out of my mouth with his tongue. Moaning into it himself.

His other hand darted under my shirt. “This okay?” he breathed.

I nodded. “Yes. Please. Keep going.”

He explored under my shirt. My back arched as he dug his fingers into the skin next to my spine as my eyelids fluttered closed.

“Can I take this off?” He tugged at my hem.

“Please.” I helped him get my shirt off. He stripped his own and threw it off to the side. It hit his bedroom door—that was closed. When had it closed? We usually studied with it open...

All thoughts slid out of my head like sand through a child’s fingers when his lips landed on the curve of my shoulder.

One of his hands was scrambling to unbuckle the belt of his shorts. I reached up and helped him, undoing the belt and popping open the button on his waistband while he handled the zipper. “Is this okay?” he asked. I nodded—over and over. “Use your words.”

“This is better than okay,” I said. “Keep going—oh God, please keep going.”

“Can I take yours off?”

“Please. Blake please.”

He pulled at the waistband of my shorts as he kicked his own off.

“Damn, you’re beautiful,” he whispered. “C’mere.”

He pulled me flush against him and kissed me hard. I met him with fervor.

—

Alternative Situation #2

“That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn’t notice... but we did. How does Fury even see these?”

“He turns.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

Blake snorted. “You know, I gotta be honest, I didn’t think they were gonna be able to pull this off,” he whispered. Even though we were just on the couch of the basement of his parents’ house, he knew if he talked too loud through a movie I’d just shush him.

“Yeah, I agree,” I agreed. I offered him the popcorn bowl. He took a handful and chipped away at putting it in his mouth a few at a time. “I mean, when we saw this in the theaters I was just overwhelmed by the spectacle but this way... I’m still impressed.”

“There’s gonna be no way they’ll be able to keep this kind of quality up for the big team-ups. Hype and expectations will always exceed delivery,” he remarked.

“Mm. Probably,” I agreed. “Guess that depends on taste, too.”

“Mm. Yeah. True.”

I popped some of the popcorn in my mouth.

One of the engines blew up on the Helicarrier. I leaned forward, still enjoying the anticipation even though I already knew what was going to happen.

Blake put an arm around me and pulled me backward. “Hey. Down in front. You’re blocking my view of the TV with your big-ass cranium.”

I smacked him in the chest with the back of my hand. “Jerk,” I snapped.

He didn’t remove his arm from around me. Just laughed and gave me a squeeze. “You love me,” he said.

“Do I?”

“Yes—I’m your best friend. You have to.”

“My best friend who is a jerk to me,” I snapped playfully, smiling, giving him a gentle whack in the chest with the back of my hand again.

He chuckled again and gave me another squeeze. “Is it okay for me to leave my arm here?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

At first, I didn’t think much of it. He’d put his arm around me before. Usually in public when he was trying not to lose me at school or the rare occasion we went to the mall with our friends. Or the local fan convention. It was always casual. Nothing behind it.

Slowly, I became very well aware that his hand was warm. I could feel its heat even though he wasn’t even touching me with it. It was just dangling in the air where his forearm was braced against my shoulder.

“Your hand’s gonna fall asleep,” I said after a while.

“It fell asleep a few minutes ago,” he replied. “It got better.”

“Wanna move it?”

“Sure.” He shuffled so he was even closer to me and his hand could rest against my side. “This okay?”

“Sure.”

His hand hadn’t been against my side for two minutes before his thumb started to rub back and forth against my shirt. The movement was comforting. I shuffled my position so my side was pressing into his hand. “Feel good?” he asked.

I nodded. “Can I... rest my head on your chest?”

He smiled at me. “Of course.”

I leaned so I could put my head between his shoulder and chest. I could still see the movie but I was snuggled up against him.

Blake started rubbing his whole hand up and down my side and arm. I smiled softly. “This okay?” he asked.

“Mmhmm.”

He kept at it. I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie anymore, and I doubted he was either. I was focused on his hand on my side and arm. Warm, slightly callused.

I gasped lightly when his rubbing of my side pulled up my shirt enough that when he went up again, he went under my shirt. My back tensed, arching slightly. His hand was really warm. And it felt really good. The touch was firm enough not to tickle, but gentle enough to slide easily.

“Is this okay?” he asked as his hand trailed higher up my side, fingers running over my ribs.

I nodded. “Yeah.” I sounded breathless to my own ears.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him grinning softly.

He started to trace his fingertips over my bare skin. Not just my side. Daring to delve across my torso. One of his fingers flicked a quick circle around the skin of my navel.

My breathing grew short when his thumb dug lightly into my side just under my lowest rib, coming in little gasps. The movie was still playing but I had no idea what was even going on in it anymore. Had the final fight started yet? Were the credits rolling? Who knew? Certainly not me. And not Blake either, judging by how he was looking at me when my eyes rolled back just enough to see him.

“Blake... w... wait...” I was even more breathless.

His hand disappeared from my skin—and goosebumps rose where it grew cold from the lack of contact.

I squirmed, body seeking that warmth of his hand.

“D... don’t stop,” I whispered. “Please.”

He looked down at me, lips slightly parted and eyebrows tilted. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Y-yeah.”

His hand found the bare skin of my torso again. I sighed and leaned into the touch, eyelids fluttering.

I craned my neck to look up at him, only to find him still staring at me.

Breath still coming in thrilled little gasps, I bit my lower lip lightly between my teeth.

His unnaturally vibrant teal eyes were nearly swallowed by the size of his pupils. Under my head, his chest moved with heavy breathing. He swallowed and kept staring at me. “Kiss me,” he breathed.

Everything had been driven out of my head. Anxieties, worries—all gone. Chased away by his touch on my skin.

I straightened up until we were level enough for me to kiss him, but hesitated before doing so.

“Please,” he whispered, the word cracking with desperation.

I reached around his head, sliding my fingers over his short, dark reddish-brown hair, and drew him closer to me.

The kiss was short. A gentle test.

I pulled away, eyes fluttering open to stare at him.

He stared at me too. We just looked into each other’s eyes for several long, breathless seconds.

Before Blake was grabbing at my shoulders and pulling me back in while I balled his tank top straps up into my fists to yank him closer. His tongue plunged into my mouth and I sucked on it.

His hands ran roughly down my back, one of them skirting over my backside to hook around my thigh farthest away from him. He pulled.

I figured out what he meant and shifted my position until I could swing my leg up and straddle his lap. He sighed out his nose, both of his hands holding the small of my back and digging slightly into the skin on either side of my spine.

I took a turn dipping my tongue into his mouth while my hand slid up his neck and over his short hair, scratching my nails into his scalp. He moaned quietly and held me closer.

My head was spinning but thoughts and worries weren’t among the chaos. All I was aware of was sensations. His warm hands. His soft mouth. His arousal forming in his lap.

I moved to pull myself back just enough to be respectful and not embarrass him, but he chased my retreating hips with his own, rocking up into me with a groan that was almost a whine. His hands slid from my back to my hips and pulled me down against him. “Don’t go,” he whispered, lips sloppy against mine.

I tilted my head for a better angle and pushed my tongue into his mouth. He sucked on it. “I’m not.”

His hands on my hips hooked his fingers over the waistband of my shorts. “Can I take these off?”

“If I can take yours off.”

“Please,” he begged. My breath shuddered in and out of my lungs as I found his belt and undid it. He sighed in relief as I popped the button on his waistband and pulled his shorts. We both adjusted our positions so the other could remove clothing. Our shirts quickly followed our shorts.

We were both breathing hard, sweat, saliva, and condensation gathering on our skin.

“Is this okay?” Blake asked.

“Yes. Please, Blake. Please don’t stop.”

His hands chased after sensitive spots all over my body, making me moan.

“Bedroom?” He glanced toward the door to his room.

I nodded frantically.

He hooked his hands under my thighs and stood, carrying me into his room and kicking the door shut behind us. We spilled onto the bed.

“C’mere, beautiful,” Blake breathed, drawing me closer into the heat of his bare skin.

—

Alternative Situation #3 (Different Opening)

With a deep breath, I returned to consciousness. My neck was aching a little bit and there was something thumping under my ear. Peeling my eyes open, I saw dark teal blackout curtains with weak morning sunlight trying to peer around them. I recognized them. Blake’s room. The clouds that matched the curtains on the duvet cover was draped over me.

Blake’s bed. I’d never slept in his bed before. The occasional nap on top of the covers, sure. But not in the bed.

I sighed slowly and blinked lethargically.

It wasn’t just my neck aching. My whole body was sore. I grimaced at the feeling of it. The flinch made me realize that I was entirely naked.

The fatigue vanished in a puff of smoke. Clarity came back.

I was lying on Blake’s bare chest. The thumping I heard was his heartbeat under my ear. His arm was around me, under my neck, holding me against his side. He was warm. A light sheen of sweat clung to both of us, sticking our skin together.

A tidal wave of memories crashed into me as I realized how I got here.

#Redacted ASMR #fic #??? i guess #Redacted Audio #Redacted Blake #Redacted Bestie #Starlit Fic #i guess. idk if this counts

25 notes · View notes

bottombaron · 9 months

Text

So after staring into the middle distance for a couple days I'm ready to start discussing some theories I have before the season finale destroys us. They are all very wide-ranging in absurdity but I'll start with the one that I think has the most substance and therefore I think is most likely to happen. Also, I haven’t caught up with the tag yet so if someone already posted these theories, sorry!

So here is Theory #1, known otherwise as,

Why (I think) I know how Laszlo is going to unfuck Guillermo

The solution, I believe, was stated at the very end of The Roast by Laszlo himself:

FIRST THOUGHT, BEST THOUGHT

Laszlo has spent weeks deeply committed to solving a problem. He's wasted precious time trying to outthink his first (and probably best) solution – and I'm not just talking about his book sorting. Neither was Laszlo, not entirely at least. I actually do think he was focused at least a little bit on his books because that's kind of what happens when you're stuck on a problem. Your brain wanders to other much less taxing ordeals. Usually, as you solve that smaller problem, you find the solution to the thing you really want to solve.

So what was Laszlo’s first idea?

All along Laszlo had the answer but Guillermo told him that he didn't think it would work, so Laszlo just didn't pursue it further. (We don't even know if Laszlo knows the circumstances of the test and why it didn't work. Just that Guillermo didn't approve that idea.) So then Laszlo wasted valuable time and energy trying to ~Science~ this problem instead of using his true best skill that was showcased in episode one of the season: his charm. His powers of persuasion (the classical art of bullshitting, as it were) is his true super power. (Sadly, it’s not science. He doesn't really have the patience for science tbh).

But, no, rly, he should bullshit his way thru this. That's what he does best. He can outthink Nandor easily. (well….maybe. with the time spent on his experiments, Nandor could have the advantage of several weeks, if not months, to figure things out beforehand, as dense as he is) He should concoct a bullshit so impenetrable that it unfucks Guillermo from Derek and refucks him to Nandor.

Further foreshadowing of this you ask?

(this whole season is dedicated to ‘plans’ it’s crazy how much A Plan pops up. maybe i’ll dedicate a separate post to collecting them all)

But alas! The test that The Baron did proved this wouldn’t work, right!?

Well here's some free additional theories to how Laszlo could solve that hiccup:

1. Laszlo figures out (and solves) the reason why The Baron/Neighbor test didn't work in the first place.

There could be any number of factors of why The Baron's neighbor blew up. It could be that The Baron is all that more powerful than the average vampire and so his bite gives an extraordinary fill of uh...vampire-ness? and Derek, being so young and weak, doesn't do much at all. Maybe it has something to do with The Sire. If The Baron was turned by the first being ever affected by vampirism, then maybe that vampirism is slowly depleted the further down the line you go. Derek is probably very far removed from The Sire which means he cannot transfer much of that affliction onwards. Nandor, if he was turned by The Baron (one removed from The Sire) or someone similar, explains how he is so powerful, hopefully tho he wouldn’t have too much power to possibly overwhelm Guillermo's half-a-virgin body (and yes I did like how kinky that sounded when I wrote it). It doesn't really matter the exact reason as long as Laszlo can convince Guillermo to try it and he has a relatively decent chance of surviving it. (convincing Guillermo to go thru with this plan overall is probably going to be the most trouble actually. you don't easily forget a guy exploding in your face)

2. Something to do with the experiments. (or the Nadja’s bait-and-switch tactic she used to catch The Baron/Guillermo from The Roast)

I have a larger theory on the experiments and why I think there's still one in the house, but that's for later. During The Roast, Nandor is pretty convinced that the mutant Guillermo is the real one (despite one pretty big glaring error: he has no glasses. none of the experiments need glasses...), Laszlo might have been testing this theory by having The Baron bring his body to Nandor in the first place in order to see how convinced Nandor would be by it. This might be enough for Laszlo to try to use a duplicate of Guillermo for Nandor to bite. The duplicate will not explode (probably?) due to only being a hybrid of Guillermo's blood and an animal…or something(one) else pretending to be Guillermo… (and if it does, maybe Laszlo plans to shoo Nandor out of the line of sight in order for him not to see. And then you get the angst and drama of Guillermo literally using a scapegoat to take his 'sin' despite his reluctance to hurt innocent creatures)

But will the fake Guillermo actually convince Nandor? It's hard to say, and I love that threat of Nandor realizing that it's not the true Guillermo he bit and feeling even more betrayed. Maybe Laszlo concocts a whole ambiance to the event in order to sell the lie. It has to be special right?

So there's dim lights and candles and (fake) Guillermo is laid out in Nandor's coffin and there's this whole presentation element to it that was left out of Guillermo's turn with Derek. It's more like the fantasy that Guillermo probably always had of being turned by Nandor. It plays out like a romantic love scene. But Guillermo is asleep or has his eyes closed and won't talk or maybe only makes small noises and Nandor's very upset abt this. Laszlo is probably hovering too and Nandor doesn't like that either but Laszlo insists he must be there and it's now it's all awkward and wrong, kind of like how Guillermo felt before he was bit by Derek. (now it’s like Nandor is the bull cucking Laszlo in front of him) Nandor goes thru with it and bites Guillermo and is rushed by Laszlo so he doesn't get to drink or drink too much of his blood and there's fumbling with trying to get his own blood into Guillermo's unresponsive mouth.

Or maybe Nandor finds out because Guillermo's blood is disgusting and he either knows or had hoped it would be good tasting*. or that Guillermo just lays there and there's no reciprocation of desire. But maybe he just doesn't find out and once it's over he expects to be able to lay with Guillermo or otherwise be there for his turning but Laszlo quickly rushes him out of his own room and closes the door behind him.

So now Nandor feels all the same despondency that Guillermo had felt with his turn with Derek. Like this big special moment he's built up for years was a complete dud. Like he missed out on something truly magical and he doesn't know why. And Guillermo will feel like shit too, for tricking Nandor. Laszlo isn't happy either. But it worked and they all just have to live with it. Meanwhile this act that was meant to make Nandor's and Guillermo's bond stronger, only serves to create even greater distance between them.

Re*: evidence that Guillermo's blood might taste 'different':

3. ANYWAYS. that was theory two. lets talk about theory 3.

WITCHES.

I actually think there's good reason Laszlo has divorced Science and is now going to have an affair with Magic. It's exactly when Nadja says 'has this hex turned me into an uggo' that Laszlo comes to life and exclaims ‘that's it!’. If science wasn't the solution, maybe magic is. It's not like they don't know some witches, or that, at least to a degree, witches actually have some power. (specifically the power to look, vaguely, like someone else.) I'm not certain of the specifics but there's a chance Laszlo could be turning to magic to solve his problems. This would also bring Nadja's storyline more relevant and in focus for the season. The thing I like the most about this theory? Episode 9 describes being invited to a manor owned by someone named Morrigan. Morrigan is a Celtic goddess of war and fate that was probably the inspiration for Arthurian legendary sorceress, Morgan le Fay. (Laszlo's name may also be connected to Arthurian legend, Lancelot. but that probably doesn't mean anything.)

So! That's my three extra theories attached to this one big theory that Laszlo is going to go 'back to the beginning' and use his first thought to solve this. Go with his gut. His first solution was his best solution, all along.

…He simply needs to convince Nandor to turn Guillermo.

The, uh, details of this plan may be a lot more complicated than it suggests.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #laszlo cravensworth #nandor #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits spoilers #wwdits meta #i guess this counts as meta #so i have a LOT of THOUGHTS n’ THEORIES on the backburner and idk if i can get to them all before the finale #prepare for a flood of inane speculation coming your way #wwdits season 5 #this originaly had a lot more screencaps but i think i over did it and now my brain is fried trying to collect all these receipts

453 notes · View notes