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#i grow old… i grow old… i shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled
amphigories · 2 months
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thinking about this one classics prof (a white-haired old man who wore a suit every day, with a godzilla tie on friday) who very sternly told us that pulling an all nighter ages you by an entire year, which he followed up by telling us he was only twenty six but he simply never slept & it had withered him into the aged figure we saw before us. i kinda think he knew what he was talking about. also he told us he had two different fantasy football teams: “one for fun and one for money”
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sailforvalinor · 2 years
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I forgot to mention this when I originally watched The Lazarus Experiment, but the Doctor quoting T. S. Eliot had me absolutely screaming because, first of all, Eliot is my favorite poet, but also because I’ve never met a character that embodied the vibe of his work so well
Like, seriously, if you’re ever thinking about Tenrose and want to feel sad about it, go and read “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” you will be sobbing on the floor
#and should I then presume??? and how should I begin???#should I after tea and cakes and ices have the strength to force the moment to its crisis??#I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker!! and I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat and snicker and in short I was AFRAID#and would it have been worth it after all after the cups the marmalade the tea#among the porcelain among some talk of you and me???#would it have been worth while to have bitten off the matter with a smile??#to have squeezed the universe into a ball to roll it towards some overwhelming question???#and would it have been worth it after all???#would it have been worth while after the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets!!!#after the novels!! after the teacups!! after the skirts that trail along the floor—and this?? and so much more??#no! I am not Prince Hamlet nor was meant to be#am an attendant lord#one that will do to swell a progress#start a scene or two#at times indeed almost ridiculous—almost at times the FOOL.#I grow old…I grow old…I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled#I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach#I have heard the mermaids singing each to each#I DO NOT THINK THEY WILL SING TO ME#just UGGGGHHH this poem hurts me#once I figure out how to make gifsets you know exactly what I’m gonna do#he’s old!! and tired!! but he regrets so much and can’t help but wonder would it have been worth it??#would it have been worth it to act on everything he felt for rose? or would it have made it hurt worse??#she was the moment of his greatest and in short! he was afraid!#doctor who#tenrose#tenth doctor
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ritterum · 1 year
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to be rooted; to be sessile; to witness the same sequence of vistas and objects each day at the same place, same time
to sit at a table and reach your crystal fronds into the machine, or; to stand behind a counter, tiptapping at your hand-me-down AirWave in the stolen moments in between customers
to never again have to brave the twisty corridors of railway halls (all alike); to never have to jump across tracks or slide past moving walkways like a horse in a 3D chess game; to never have to tuck your legs inside an open cart, the last and only ride back to the station
to not have to walk across rickety wooden supports high up in the hills; to be free from the worry of missing your thirty-second stop in the double-decker bullet train; to rest your arms forevermore from the weight of your five suitcases
to enjoy your tea no longer flying out of the cup
all this and more in the life that awaits, sporos, in the life that you in your branches might choose
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divinehedons · 10 months
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godless promethean, elektran rage.
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navigation: masterlist
pairing: pirate!joel miller x siren!reader
word count: ~8.4k words (I KNOW I'M SO SORRY)
summary: when the wrath of poseidon brings in something not quite human, a hardened pirate with the harshness of a soldier at war faces a bright-eyed siren with the delusion of a dreamer.
warnings: this is a DARK, EXPLICIT fic. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT or i will BLOCK you. so much plot, pirate!au, siren!au, joel is a violent motherfucker, reader is a metamorphic creature that turns human-like when not submerged in water, graphic depiction of violence and injury, mentions of abduction and implications of abuse, explicit p-in-v sex, oral (f!receiving), squirting, creampie, soooo much murder. it's like a greek tragedy without the incest.
note: THANK YOU FOR 600 FOLLOWERS!!! much of this work was inspired by me rereading the odyssey by homer, but the trope of joel x siren!reader is not of my own making! thank you so much for reading, and as always, comments and reblogs are much apprciated!
Be strong, saith my heart. A wave crests over the hull of the ship. Then another. And another. I have seen worse things than this. Synchronized hands haul the rope for the sails, a last attempt to regain control of their vessel. The Balkan sea stretches before weary sailors, endless and unforgiving, with one foot in their watery grave and the other clawing to live.
In the midst of this carnage is The Flounder, harbinger of chaos, populated by a crew of men who pillage, murder, and destroy anything that gets in their way. Joel once thought of him and his men as indestructible. The Wrath of Poseidon makes him reconsider otherwise.
“Goddamnit, Bonnie, we’re never gettin’ out of this mess!” Joel yells over the deluge of rain, tightening his grip and growling as the rope digs in to the skin of his palms. He sees another wave crest over them, sturdy as a wall, coming down upon their shivering backs, leaving them spluttering out seawater. He coughs momentarily, heaving in air as he digs his feet into the deck.
When he regains his breath, he hears his name being called. He looks, their Captain bellowing from where he steered. His new orders came through in the middle of the crack of thunder and the whistle of an unending storm. Check beneath the deck for damages. Fix anything that could sink them. He calls for someone to replace his hold and he runs for it. 
In his head, he had begun to pen a letter back to his waiting daughter under the care of his brother. Dear Sarah, he thinks, climbing down the ladder and finding himself in knee-deep, ice-cold water. I promised you that this will be my last expedition. That after this, we shall live out however you want us to. I only hope that I can live up to that promise. He cusses under his breath when he finds a growing leak in the hull, crossing himself as he immediately went about to fix it temporarily with what materials he could find. You’re safer with your uncle Tommy than here in this misery. And should anything happen to me, know that I love you and I trust you to be good to him, too. He crosses the threshold to see if there was anything else, moving across floating bottles, bobbing up and down with remnants of booze. With a sigh, isolated from the chaos above deck, he leans against a column, grabbing a drifting bottle and swallowing down the booze to settle his nerves.
I grow old, I grow old. He mouths the words under his breath. I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
The muffled sounds of the world melts away as he tries to catch his breath, gritting his teeth from the ache in his hips. Getting too old for this. He tries to think of a way that rest can be comfortable in this mess. Sleep, he thinks, delicious and profound. The very counterfeit of death.  It is only when his nerves settle that he hears it.
A splash in the common room. Too loud to be some drifting object. Something that continues to move against the motion of the ship between the waves. He stills himself, the empty bottle slipping between his fingers. Slowly, he moves closer to the source of the sound, like a predator stalking his prey in the darkness. He retrieves a drifting harpoon, peeking through the threshold of the room to inspect. In the semi-darkness, interrupted by the flickering of lanterns and dying candelight, he catches the shimmer of something alive. He raises his weapon, looks through his good eye, his brows crinkling at the effort to focus.
Too old and too goddamn blind for this shit.
He blinks a few times more before he finally sees. And what he sees is you.
Your lithe arms reaching against the walls of the ship, trying to find a weak link that could let you escape. Were you brought in by the waves? Were you the very thing responsible for the leak he just had to fix? Initially, Joel made the movement to speak, to ask how you had ended up here—the sea is no place for a maiden like you. But his breath hitches when he looks closer to see… well, you. The incandescent flickering of a scaled tail, blending with inhuman yet somewhat human skin around your hips, and your upper body, glorious, unmarked, and completely fucking naked.
Perhaps it was the months at sea, conversing with no one but the same crew of men who, despite their intelligentsia and capabilities, do not exactly have the looks capable of producing in him the flustering exhilaration of some teenager. But he, of all people, know of the stories, too. The whispers shared in the saloons in the darkness. The shared thrill and excitement of such beauty and danger lurking beneath the temptresses’ skins. He has heard of claws coming for his companions’ throats, have heard of the trickery they can cause with the power of the ocean entirely at their disposal. He thinks of Odysseus again— tethered to the mast of his ship, The only one of his men to hear the voice of the sirens and have survived. Odysseus, who would have laid his life down  just to come close to the very presence of something so divine. 
Another thing he knows is that the price of one siren is half the bounty they had planned for. Months of work cut out for himself. Months closer to seeing his daughter again. It’s enough to give him the taste of freedom. His own little piece of heaven that, ironically, is someone else’s hell. The funny thing was, he does not feel guilt about it.
Perhaps he was not Odysseus. He was not as noble. Nor did he ever want to be. A noble character would never provide a good life for his Sarah, waiting for him oceans away.
That was the decision that sealed the creature’s fate before him. Without a second thought, he fires his harpoon, the sharp head piercing through the creature’s shoulder as an angelic wail emanates from her precious throat. With her pinned down, he had begun yelling, calling for the presence of men to see what they’ve caught in their vessel. Their ticket to riches. The honeypot herself.
The blade itself incites to deeds of violence.
He swallows down the guilt as the thunder of heavy steps descend upon their victim, her screams only growing louder and louder amidst the exhilarated, disbelieving laughter of his companions. He does not dare to look. Does not dare to see those doe eyes of yours begging for respite, pulling him into your charms.
An eye of an eye. A good life for Sarah in exchange for hers.
Fair enough.
—-
When The Flounder has escaped the barrages of the storm, the sea is quiet. Some would even say peaceful. Joel wouldn't exactly use that word. Not when he hears your wails breaking the silence. That first night, no one understood what needed to be done. No one even bothered to try and treat your wound. The very wound he had caused. Everyone had something more important to do. Clear the seawater beneath the hull, secure the sails, have a quick meal, get a few winks of sleep. Naturally, the mythical being, as all other inconsequential things, were tucked away, you dealt with the usual brusque nature of men.
So when he had been called to watch you before dawn broke, that's what he set his mind to. Stepping down beneath the deck, with spare scraps of cloth and booze in hand. They've cleared out the flooding. But the wood hadn't dried completely. Mick, who he had passed beforehand, gave him a questioning look. "Aren't ya scared she'd rip your throat out?"
He scoffs, tilting his head to the side as he speaks. "I'm more scared of the stench she'll make if she starts dyin' on us, Micky."
What he did not expect when he opens the closet you've been locked in is the metamorphic cross between a tail and legs you kick out at him. What he hears next is the snarl, your body knocking him over, small, webbed hands slipping around his throat. “You asshole!” That same heavenly voice, filled with so much malice that does not fit with the angelic features towering over him. You speak in a language he does not understand, a torrent of words driven by so much emotion that he sees a glance of what Homer was so distasteful about. You could kill him, devour him bones and all and you wouldn’t even flinch.
However, he sees how your rage blinds you, too. Blinds you to his precise movements, making you think you’ve subdued him, only to suddenly flip your positions, pinning you down by your wrists, trying to look into your eyes.
What you see, staring up at him as your last yells escape you, is the strands of silver in his hair. What follows next is his tired eyes. A sea of stories that you feel as if you can almost hear them if the world is quiet enough. However, you cannot deny the warmth to them. The fire that you failed to see in the other men that shoved you in the closet you have been suffocating in. It’s what makes you stop in your struggle as you finally hear his voice.
“Damnit, let me help you, honey, c’mon…”
It’s then that Joel finally comprehends what he sees. You, a mythical being that shifts from merfolk in one instance, to a walking goddess in the next. Perhaps it was what helped your kind survive; camouflaging yourself and disappearing amidst throes of people. “You turn when ya… when…?”
You swallow, breathless and trembling as you grit your teeth. He sees the panic in your eyes, the idea that he can just betray you if he wanted to. If it would benefit him.
“Let me help you, darlin’.”
“W-when I’m…” You breathe in sharply. “When I’m not in water.”
He nods, slowly, watching the lithe legs and your bare body, spotless and perfect in every way. “I see.” He removes himself from you, moving away from your periphery. You gather your breath, turning over to see him, kneeling over an upturned washtub, somewhat filled with some form of water or another. “Those men up there? They can’t see you like this, otherwise…” he trails off, preferring not to picture what they’d do. What they’ve all once done before at sea. “Ya hear me?” He looks back at you, watching the way your hands gripped your bleeding shoulder wound, evidence of what he had already done to you. “You don’t know what else they can do to a pretty girl like ya.”
So, gently, he kneels beside you with a pained groan from the ache in his knees. You flinch under his touch and he gives you a stern look. “Why did you do this?”
He shakes his head, opening the bottle he brought down with him to pour it over the gaping flesh. Your soft fingers grip on to his arm, the softest whine escaping your lips as you squeeze your eyes shut. “You’re not the only one fightin’ to survive in this world, honey.” He shushes you gently, moving to wrap what pieces of cloth he could find, using them to bandage your wound as you finally soften in his hold. He helps you into the tub, and he tries not to look into your eyes again.
You spoke again when he turned away, giving you the privacy he assumed you needed. “Just because you need to survive doesn’t mean I need it any less.” He stops in his tracks, looking down for a moment before clearing his throat. “Are men always this wretched? That one must tear down the innocent to survive?” He moves to answer, turning back momentarily, before sighing, turning back to continue cleaning up the mess. “Thank you, though. For… this.”
You know exactly how to describe it. You just don’t want him to hear it. The gentleness that comes, not in the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.
Joel hears the noise in his head, clouding his thoughts and drowning them out as he moves from one place to another.as he tries not to think about you, quiet in a tub of water, pretending to ignore him. Men are so quick to blame the gods…
He hands you a plate of scraps. The trimmings from a loaf of bread. A slice of some meat, and the last pieces of cheese he could find. “Eat,” he orders gruffly, moving to sit by the side of your tub, while he seats himself with a slice of bread. “Can’t have ya dyin’ of starvation either.”
You obey, weakened by the struggles of the evening, disheartened by your imprisonment, so close to freedom and at the same time so far away from it. You eat slowly, as if considering each little fragment you were handed, as if the world is unfamiliar in the presence of someone else.
Joel couldn’t help it. Perhaps it was your charm. Whatever it was, he started to tell you things.
He tells you of his life, so far away from the ocean, landlocked. He tells you how they make a living with animals. But he also tells you about Sarah. Sarah who dreamt of the world. Sarah who he was doing all this for. Sarah who asked him as a child to read to her every night. Sarah who was growing more and more with each passing day, the gap between the two of them becoming wider than he could ever comprehend.
“My survival may not mean much,” he says, “but hers is the most vital thing in my life, doll.”
He feels your gaze on him, becoming easier and easier to see as the sun slowly grows higher in the sky. In thirty minutes, his watch will end, and you do not know how the next man will treat you next. Will he be kind? Will he have Joel’s eyes?
He turns to leave, taking the plates with him as he stands up with a pained groan. “Don’t cause too much trouble, girl.” He only stops when you say his name, his gaze catching the blurry image of you, your tail sinking beneath you in the tub. “Yeah?”
“Will you read to me when you return?” you whispered, afraid to show fragility in your own internment.
He nods after a moment of thought, clambering up on deck to report back to the Captain.
Men are so quick to blame the gods.
For a while, a week or so, you believed things could be nice with Joel somewhat in your corner. Everyone else seemed to care less or cower in fear of you. Maybe because you do try to scare them away. At least, if you were going to be betrayed, it was Joel doing the betraying.
He returned at the same time just as he did the night before. And slowly, a routine emerges. He cleans your wounds, he feeds you whatever he finds. Then he reads to you. His eyes are too weak to read without you holding the lantern. So you learned that second night to emerge from your tub and to hold the lantern for him. He reads to you with the skilled words of a bard. He reads to you as if he’d read this tale before. Perhaps to Sarah? Perhaps to someone else?
You feel your stomach curdle at the thought of there being someone else in his life. You swallow down the bile and listen more closely.
When he leaves at dawn, you lie in the tub, dreaming of the words he had read to you, turning your back to the man that comes next. They do not bother you. You do not bother them. You become a ghost until he brings you to life.
Sing to me, Muse, of the Man of many wiles.
By the third night, he brings with him a blanket for you to wrap yourself in as you sit closer beside him, trying to follow the words he read, only to surrender because the letters are too rigid, too unnatural. You began shutting your eyes as he reads to you, learning of Odysseus, a once too familiar name you have heard in others of your kind before…
Sing to me, Muse, of these matters. Daughter of Zeus,My starting point is any point you choose.
You begin to talk to him too by the fourth night, observing your transformed toes as he hammered little areas he figured needed repairs. You tell him of the world beneath the waves, the languid distances you’ve traveled, never truly feeling as if you have found a home. You tell him, too, of wonders big and small.
You spoke of all these things, pretending to be unaware of the way he listens with such interest. It’s like you wanted him to be interested. How could you not, when night by night his eyes become warmer and warmer whenever they fell upon you? How could you not when he’s the only one that cared?
You try to read his thoughts, sometimes, when it’s quiet and he prefers to sit by himself, finding a few winks of sleep while you ate your food. He’s rather good at hiding them. You wonder if it makes his life easier. You wonder if any of it is easy for him.
Then he asks you something on his fifth watch.
“Is the whole singin’ thing somethin’ you actually do?”
You turn your head over your shoulder, setting down the snowglobe you’ve taken an interest in the last couple of hours. You saw it on a shelf this afternoon. And you had been impatient for Joel to arrive ever since. You consider the question, Then you smile and nod meekly.
“Do…” you pause, moving to face him instead. “Do you want to hear?”
He smirks, moving the chair closer to your seated frame, seating with the backing pressed to his front, legs straddling the seat, arms atop, covering that sliver of chest you had been sneaking glances from all evening. He had that thin linen shirt on again— the one that swoops down his chest. The one you see in your dreams.
“Only if it won’t kill me, sweet cheeks.”
You like that. Sweet cheeks. You barely understand what it means. You nod slowly, moving to lay on your back as you stare at the ceiling, monotonous and unchanged since you last looked. As you sing, you try not to look him in the eye. As if you cannot bear the sight of him seeing your capabilities and forever changing his perception of you. The hymn is warm, almost homely. A relentless Odyssey that means to take you home. A song that’s said to bring forth memories of home. You know Joel does not understand the language. Nor do you want him to. You won’t admit it, but you’re still terrified of what he could do if you remind him of how much he misses his home.
But what is even more surprising is this: instead of reminiscing about the tropics from which you have loved so deeply, all you can think about is him. All you can picture is his face. All you can see is possibilities of how he’s looking at you now.
When you finish, dawn is already breaking over the horizon. He has to go.
Quietly, you rose and slowly return to the tub with your snowglobe, watching as your body metamorphosizes— your last line of defense for survival. The shine of your scales so familiar, but never this clear under the water. The light is always so diffused— as distant as a foreign planet. Joel, on the other hand, stays there for a few minutes more, looking at the spot where you just were—at the plank of wood bearing the wet shape of your body. You started to think maybe he won’t leave when he swallows, rising from where he sat, and approaching you to hand the cheese he couldn’t eat from his portion of the meal.
“I quite enjoyed that,” he confesses, tucking the food into your palm. Just then, he encloses your hand in both of his, taking a moment to savor the feeling of your cool, changed skin against his. He wonders momentarily if you’ll feel different without your tail. “Thank you.”
He leans down, bringing your hand up to his waiting mouth, his lips pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. A shiver runs down your spine as you comprehend the sensation. His lips. How warm he is… the scruff of his beard against smooth skin. You feel him smirk against your hand, pulling away as he makes his way above deck.
And on your hand is the reddened skin that evidenced the smidgen of affection you were giving. And for now, it’s enough.
You turn your back to the world once more and into your own dream world, staring at your hand as you dream of Joel all morning long.
You suppose everything that goes around does eventually come around. You wonder why you're so optimistic. But, you supposed, just as things were getting better, the fates had other plans in store for you.
The call came just as you were coming of the stupor of sleep. From what you can tell, it was barely midday, and someone was yelling above where you resided. All hands on deck.
The thunderous noise of heavy feet trundle above head. The man watching you grumbled, muttering something along the lines of, "don't you dare think about running, li'l bitch."
You watch him slam the door, and curiosity gets the better of you. You rise slowly from the tub, slinking along the floor, struggling to lift yourself enough to peer out from one of the windows. But when you do, you've come to realize the gravest sin of your naivety.
There is a ship to be plundered. Slowly, the masks worn by the men where you are melt away. You see familiar men with their swords drawn, laughing maniacally, screaming and terrifying the ship they've found to appease their hunger.
You feel your body changing, and you begin to turn away from the window when you catch sight of silver hair and scruff. A visage that you finally see in broad daylight.
Joel is one of the men who almost seem to dance to the song of violence. Perhaps the stories were true. Perhaps the secrets of the shadows are laid bare in the light. Even Joel's secrets cannot escape the midday sun. When you see him, he is in battle with some toughened fisherman, their duel witnessed by cowering passengers and well-dressed women. For a moment, you think Joel will come to his senses, see how senseless all this violence is.
But then he takes the man by his hair, holding his head and facing him to the sun. His sword arches across the expanse of his victim's neck, rivulets of blood bursting forth in gush, an unstoppable stream. A squeal escapes you, the violent image burnt into the recesses of your brain, forcing you away from the window.
You run on shaky legs, screaming and yelling, reaching the doorway and attempting to push the door open, only to find resistance. Your fists pound the hard wood, your body pushing and shoving, unable to accept the fact that you can't call to him— show him that you saw and you demand an answer why.
For the first time, ever since Joel shot you with a harpoon, you truly understood something you tried so hard to ignore.
You sleep under the shelter of murderers. You think you felt affection from the hands of a man who just as easily took someone's life away. You are only loved because you're something else. Something not human.
You are only loved because you'll ensure their survival.
The blade itself incites the deeds of violence.
When the carnage ended, Joel raised his head to see the sky beginning to paint itself in bolder strokes of colors. He stretches his arms, only to feel the sticky plasma of drying blood sticking to his arms, his torso, spotting the expanse of his face. He is the last to leave their conquered ship, and he takes his time. He walks along the scattered piles of bodies, putting whoever hasn't perished out of their misery with the very same blade he wielded in battle. He's alive. He can go home. He watches the revelry on their vessel: men roasting the spoils from the kitchen, barrels upon barrels of ale and mead slowly being chewed through.
The stage is set. All they need is a little shock of entertainment.
But what he worries about is you. You who probably cowered from fear at the sudden influx of noise. You who definitely saw the things they are capable of doing. You with the wound on your shoulder, healing at a snail's pace with your imprisonment. So, he takes the time to find supplies to help you. He finds antiseptic. He finds needle and thread. It will have to do.
When he returns to his ship, He has spread oil across the deck where the bodies lay. With one bloody hand, he strikes a match to burn away the evidence of their carnage. The burning ship drifts further and further into the horizon, drowned out by the sounds of cheering. Joel is handed a mug of better than average mead.
As he watches the lights flicker and consume the rest of the ship, one question remains at the forefront of his thoughts, echoed and repeated by every voice in his head.
Do I dare?
Clarity comes when he's two mugs in, everyone else fucking off to see how much treasure piled up. He looks at the door that leads directly where you are and the question becomes clearer. It is in the iambic beat of his heart. I am, I am, I am.
It's in the excitement at the thought of seeing you tonight and having a good meal to offer. He begins to smirk, taking two plates and finding food he thinks you'll like.
Do I dare disturb the universe?
You do not look at him when he enters. You cannot, knowing the things you’ve seen today. Especially when you hear he’s happy, humming as he sinks down the stairs from the deck. The jump on his step was not there before. And instead of finding that itching curiosity to see if he was smiling or if you were responsible for this joy, you feel your stomach sour at one thought.
Perhaps the slaughtering of others brought glee to his bones.
“You must be hungry,” he says softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. You feel a strange stickiness to his touch. So strange that you finally look, only to be horrified by the sight of his bloodsoaked hand. You yelp helplessly, shrinking away from his touch. You shed tears, luminescent in the semi-darkness, as precious as pearls that only he can see. “Darlin’...” His hand comes to cup your face gently, trying to make you look him in the eye. In this form, your skin is cold, the warmth of his hands turning your skin red.
“Y-you killed them,” you finally manage, the iron smell filling your senses. Seeing you panicked, Joel reaches down into the tub to slowly bring you out of your tub and into his willing arms, slow shushes escaping him. “Are you going to kill me, too?”
So that was what you were so scared of.
You bury your face into his chest, his shirt smelling of him— of sandalwood and musk, tobacco smoke, and underneath it all, a few specks of blood. Meanwhile, he lets you, cradling you in his arms as you continue to shed your tears. He lets you, knowing you wouldn’t listen to him with so much emotion in that pretty little head of yours.
But when you do eventually calm down, he doesn’t miss a moment. He couldn’t.
“I can never harm you, honey.” He breathes in through his nose, finally close enough to smell you. The sea air in your hair, sunshine and honeysuckles from lands he can only dream of. “I can’t even if I tried.”
Slowly, he lays you down where he had dropped his sheet—the sheet you’ve been wrapping yourself around. The sheet that smells like the both of you; that way he could imagine waking up to you the past few times he had gotten sleep. Slowly, he straddles your changed form, naked and so fucking divine it has his head spinning. “Can I take care of ya, darlin’?” He waits for you. Even when everything is pushing him to kiss you— he has to know you want this.
He has to know you’re not miserable.
Seeing this, you take a deep breath. You hold his face. Your skin, smooth and not exactly human, bright against his, earth-marred, bloody, and burnt from days in the sun. And yet, you do not see those flaws. All you see are his warm eyes, so desperate to tell you he wants you, and yet so willing to walk away if you asked. So you grip him by his shirt, pulling him against you in a wanton, desperate kiss.
It is the first kiss you share. The first of the hundreds you’ll share that night. But you will always remember that first.
Because it’s burning against your cool skin. Because the scratch of his scruff is a sensation you have not felt in the long life you have lived. He holds your face, bringing your head closer to him, pressing against the front of his skull, making you whine from want as he deepens the kiss. You’ll always remember it because you know this kiss.
You can already see the ending before the two of you ever began.
His hand slips into your hair, his mouth pulling away from yours, only to drift down  your cheek, your jaw… He chuckles against your skin when you gasp so meekly, melting like butter in his arms.
“Let me take care of you, sweetheart,” he whispers, marking the crook of your neck with his mouth. “Let me show you how ya have me wrapped around your pretty li’l finger.”
Already, you can see him in your memories, tangled up in him. His kisses on your neck, his spit drying against your skin. His fingers reaching and tearing you apart. In the eternity you’ll be facing alone… he’s there. Just there, a willing invitation to a dream.
He’s pushing your legs up, now fully transformed, and he comprehends everything. Without words, it seems, things simply come naturally to him. He cups your cheek with one hand, folding your body in half as your legs drape over his broad shoulders. His thumb brushes your lips, and you part them for him. You let him fuck his thumb into your wet mouth, groaning at the way you suck on him. “Good girl…”
Just then, his other hand reaches down, a warm sensation cupping your cunt as you whine softly against him, looking him in the eye. “Good God, are you always this soakin’?”
You slowly pull back, shivering softly from the sensation of him parting your folds. Only you, Joel. No one else can do this to me. He comprehends, and he groans again, leaning down to kiss you. His cock aches in the confines of his pants. Just like that, everything dulls out and he can only comprehend this: to have you. You, you, and just you.
“Guess I have some makin’ up to do to ya, huh?”
Just then, his head disappears between the valley of your breasts, marking a trail of blood-red hickeys down to your stomach, one hand pinching a nipple harshly enough to make you squeal, to which he shushes you again. Gonna get us caught, doll. He continues his way, finally finding your sweet cunt. He shifts his hands so he can slowly part your folds. He kisses the inside of your thighs just as you clamp one hand over your whining mouth. And, with nothing left to do, he takes a deep breath, looking at your face as he sinks his tongue down between your folds, tasting you with a longing groan of delight.
Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured.
All you can feel is the flurry of rhythm Joel sets. His trembling jaw, as if whispering prayers to whatever powers may be. His tongue splitting you open and fucking you raw in a way so obscene, you think it’s unbecoming. Perhaps it is. Perhaps by letting him have you this way, you have turned your back on your world. But he fucks one finger into your surprisingly warm cunt and everything else fades away into the silence.
“Fuck, baby…” It’s so easy, you whining urging him on, calling for him and begging to just keep going, dear God. One finger becomes two, then three. Then he raises himself so he can see your face better. So he can see the way your features contort into a heavenly amalgamation of beauty and pleasure and wonder in one full spectrum. But there is nothing more beautiful when his fingers brush against something that made you keen closer to his touch, eyes wide open with your mouth trembling.
“That’s it, isn’t it, darlin’? It is, huh?” He chuckles, the rumble of it vibrating from his chest, echoing to the backs of your thighs, and finally, straight to your wanting cunt. He smirks, his upper body shifting so his arm was much more free— just so he can keep aiming for that one spot that made you keen so beautiful he gets a glance of your otherworldly beauty.
A long forgotten poem comes up from the back of his head, just as he was pulling your orgasm from your willing frame, his other hand covering your mouth before you get too loud just so you wouldn’t be interrupted, caught, and possibly separated.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. “Good fuckin’ girl. Such a good girl, honey…” I did not think they’ll sing for me.
You shut your eyes, grinding your hips into his touch, chasing a sensation you can’t even dare put into words. You whine into the palm of his hand, feeling as if your skin, normally so cool, set on fire with the desire you have for Joel. You peer through your damp lashes, making out the silhouette of his smirk, his warm eyes somewhat swelling with pride.
“Joel… there’s… there–” you barely get the words out when you feel it. Your vision going white, the electricity flowing through your body, and coming out of you in warm bursts.
Heaven, you think, from how Joel so lovingly described it.
When you come to, he’s pulling his fingers away, and a spurt of fluids follow in the wake of his absence. He chuckles, the sound of it emanating the very depths of your consciousness. “Didn’t know ya could do that, pretty girl.”
It leaves you warm, slightly sleepy. Slightly drifting in and out—the way the ocean climbs and recedes from the shore.
You don’t notice the way Joel watches you. The way blood smeared your perfect face. You do not notice his hand tracing down your torso, coloring it a faded, rusty red. Marked by him, and for him.
And yet if some god shall wreck me in the wine-dark deep, even so will I endure. For already have I suffered so much, and much have I toiled in perils of waves and wars. Let she be added to the tales of those.
“Please eat,” he finally says as he kisses your forehead. “I saved a plate for you.”
So you do. You sit up, trembling, the cool porcelain pressed against your thigh as you feasted. Grapes, expensive nuts, and meats you could only dream of. You try not to think of the price he paid to lavish you with such an offering. Because now, instead of the guilt, you feel the rumblings of power in your veins. You have become his very god, the one he’d slay men for. The very god to which he offers a plate paid for by carnage. And if you’ve become god, what can you offer him?
Heaven was not fit to house a creature such as I.
—-
He makes love to you after dinner. Slow, careful. He doesn’t want to terrify you. He doesn’t want to get caught, either. He has you on his lap, your cool hands cupping his heated face, spineless from pleasure as he fucks up into you, giving you a moment to accommodate him and get used to the feeling of his cock stretching you wide open. Every vein, his very length, arching and filling you up in the best way there is to be filled.
“Tell me you want this,” he asks, and you oblige him. You whine for him, calling, biting your lip and throwing your head back. You lead his hand to your chest, heaving with slow, shaky breaths. He knows what you want without ever asking it of you. And that is why he squeezes the curve of your breast, sitting up to press his mouth to your collarbone. The kisses set your skin aflame, his fingers pinching and pulling the pleasure from your willing body.
So he gives you everything. You cum once again with you on top of him. You cum again after he bends you over the nearest table with his rough fingers rubbing circles on your needy clit. And on the third time, somewhere when it’s quiet, you both lie on the blanket, your back to his chest, his cock unmoving inside of you.
It’s a moment of respite. A lull. A moment to catch breaths.
“How much did you see earlier?”
His arm is around your waist, his mustache brushing against the back of your ear. It’s nice. It’s almost domestic, a word so foreign to you. Perhaps domesticity is something innately human. But he makes you have a taste of it. And it tastes so sweet. You hum softly, tilting your head so he can kiss more of your neck.
“I saw the first man you killed,” you tell him, to which he groans, pulling you closer. “I couldn’t watch any more after that. It was… too much.” You feel his teeth brushing against the curve of your ear. Then he bites gently just to hear you squirm.
“I don’t want you lookin’ anymore, sweetheart,” he whispers, “not if it’s going to upset you this much.” He leans up, peering over your peaceful face, with your eyes shut and your body languid. “But… I suppose I’ll try.” You open one eye, peering up at him. “Less murders, my queen, yes ma’am.”
You giggle, pressing your palm to his mouth as he continues to tease you with such pet names. He speaks behind your palm. Angel baby, cutie pie… Other pet names you don’t comprehend because the sounds disappear into your cool skin.
And then he’s fucking you again, with you on your side and him above you, caging you in his arms. You catch your lip between your teeth, gritting out half-choked moans. Already, the pleasure has begun to border the line between pleasure and pain. Already, you feel your legs quaking, but you feel the tremble in his spine as well.
He’s close. He’s so fucking close.
That’s when you notice how sporadic his bursts of movement are becoming. Fewer and shorter in between. So, you begin to give back, maneuvering your bodies so you’re laying on top of him once more, digging your blunt nails down against his biceps. You feel his hands on your waist. Bloody hands that have taken an infinite number of lives before you. Bloody hands that will take who knows how many lives after. Bloody hands, that, despite their track record, hold you as if you are so fragile in his grasp.
Gentleness incomprehensible. The best of the world in the palms of his hands.
The both of you, flying into deep, empty space. Alone with Joel in the aether.
Watching his orgasm wash over him just as yours does for the fourth and last time. He pulls you into his chest, letting you moan into his chest. The only thing that betrays his release is the stuttered breaths, the shaky fingers. That is all. And then you feel the warmth of his seed, buried deep within you, treasured and tucked away. It’s so much, you feel it reach places you didn’t expect it to be.
Even when he’s ending things, he’s giving you everything he’s got.
In the afterglow, he takes care of you. Already, the sun is rising  Once again, you won’t see him until it’s dark again. You’ll be turning away from the world and dreaming of those eyes and his smile. But for now, he wipes you clean, kissing your forehead as he brings you back to your tub. For now, you hold his hand for another minute.
“Y’know… Sarah loved playing siren as a fuckin’ kid,” he finally says, cleaning up the plates in silence. “She loves the sea.”
You peer over the lip of the tub, smiling up at him dreamily. “She must be so beautiful. With your smile?” You sigh, leaning back as you look up at the ceiling. “You must miss her much.”
He brushes your cheek with a sigh, shrugging. “Every fuckin’ day, baby.”
He walks away from you, and you wait for him to look back. He does, with a shit-eating smirk at your dazed eyes, neck marked up by his own doing. “Don’t kill anybody today, Joel.”
He nods slowly. “Get some sleep, squirt.” As you turn away, the smile drops. He cannot show that vulnerability out there, amongst the men he’s shared blood, sweat, and tears with. Men he killed from and men he killed with. Men who’d want to tear you apart and swallow you whole. Men who’d kill him if they knew what the two of you did all night.
Then how should I begin to spit out the butt-ends of my days and ways? How should I presume?
He doesn’t have to presume for long. Not when he emerges on deck and he sees the dark shadow of land specking the endless sea of blue he had grown accustomed to. There stands the rise and fall of a mountain, a jagged line breaking the skyline.
The Captain speaks, and the shock burns through him so rapidly that he tries to hide it by leaning against the starboard side.
We hit land midday tomorrow. Our li’l baggage ‘bout to finally bring in some fuckin’ money.
The clock is ticking, what else can he do? Go, go, go.
When Joel returns, he’s waking you from a long, languid sleep. You turn to smile at him, but there’s a different look in his eyes. An urgency, a finger pressed to your lips to ensure silence. He carries you from the water and you’re brought up close to see the crease on his forehead. When he wraps you in the sheet, that’s when he speaks.
“Need t’get ya out of here, baby.”
The great escape. The prison break.
Now you feel the tension.
He waits for you to turn, to become inconspicuous. Meanwhile, he’s hot on his heels. He’s gripping a rucksack in his hands, heavy with some inconceivable baggage, muttering to himself. You start to understand the madness. You start to wonder if there’s two versions of Joel waiting behind every door. One of them is the lover— the man who’d kiss you as he introduces you to a world of pleasure. Then there was the monster— the man who sliced open the throat of the person he was robbing blind, the man who fired the harpoon that caused your imprisonment.
“So the monster has come to set me free of my bonds.”
You rise, shaky on your legs and clothed in that sheet that kept you modest. It’s when he stops in his tracks, looking you in the eye before sighing, tearing the cloth away from you to introduce a linen shirt of his. It smells of him; perhaps it even reeks of him.
“They’re going to butcher you if I don’t try, sweetheart.”
You do what you promised to yourself you’ll do when he asks you something. You put your blind faith into his hands and take a leap.
He leads you through a maze of rooms you cannot comprehend. You stop at the crosshairs. You duck under tables when he asks you to. And you know why. Because the men who thirst for your blood can be found on every corner. Because you’re running out of time. Because he’d rather lose you to the waves than those who shed blood like he does.
In a matter of minutes, you find yourselves in the cool evening air. It’s a blind spot, and it’s far enough that he helps you to the raft while it’s almost silent. The sounds of men beginning to have dinner so distant and far away, it’s like an entirely different world. Skillfully, Joel lowers you both into the ocean, the distant beating of the waves masking the sound of him cutting the rope that tethered you to the ship.
He keeps one hand on the behemoth you’ve escaped, and he audibly counts. Quiet enough for you to hear. Tens. Hundreds. Then, a thousand seconds passes.
He pauses, straining to hear. In the flickering light of the lanterns, you see the silver in his hair and his beard. You wonder, momentarily, if it’s the last you’ll see of him. That’s when you hear it.
Yells. But not of alarm. Not of you, their treasured prisoner, missing from her cage. It’s the yells of panic. Of suffering. Of pain.
Upon seeing your features, Joel finally reveals the hidden card up his sleeve.
“I poisoned them. I poisoned them and robbed them blind so they’ll never come after you.”
You look to him, waiting for another shoe to drop. But there is none. This is who he is, laid bare for you to see. Your devotee, giving you the ultimate sacrifice. This is not the monster nor the lover. This is Joel. All masks have fallen to their knees and prostrated themselves before you. Every post abandoned and conquered, only for you.
“Go.”
You blink, and his trembling fingers hold your cheeks, his shaky lips kissing the crown of our head.
“No one’s coming for you as long as I’m there to stop them.”
When you don’t move, he grits his teeth, as if caught between a rock and a hard place. A second passes, then his arms take you, throwing you overboard and into the familiar depths of an ocean below.
The waves welcome you with a surge of power, relentless and enduring. More immortal than you. More divine than you can ever hope to be. The moment you are released from Joel’s hold, the saltwater licks clean the wound on your shoulder. It washes away the scent of Joel’s shirt.
He’s already being erased from you.
From beneath the depths, everything comes back to you. The kiss on your hand, the scraps of food. His sticky, bloodmarked fingers marking you. All of it, slipping through your fingers like sand. In the cool darkness of the open sea, all you can see is a flame starting from the base where you last saw Joel. A fire spreading amongst the ship which you once hailed your prison.
You can see Joel’s boat, smaller in comparison, already racing away towards the shore.
All you can do now, with the power of Poseidon surging and bubbling beneath your veins, is to sing. To sing a hymn that begs before the very gods themselves. But it’s a song that begs Joel, too. Begs him to remember you.
Don’t forget me. You do not know if he hears you. Don’t forget me.
You attempt to follow him beneath the waves.
Don’t forget me.
—-
Against all odds, Joel Miller disembarks from the train to find himself in a farmland so familiar to him. Against all odds, it is three weeks later, and he’s followed all the roads and finds himself home.
He breathes in the smell of wheat under the scorching summer heat. He embraces it. He puts one foot ahead of the other, sea legs no longer present. The ground is too still that it still sometimes unnerves him.
A few meters away, he catches sight of the house. The windows wide open, the breeze making the curtains dance within. And on his porch is a familiar figure that had lowered her book and peered in his direction. He sees her face, and relief encompasses his bones. Sarah.
She’s running to him, yelling, loud and youthful and her face is like the sun. He feels himself smiling, too. The first time in weeks. Miles of walking and sleepless nights fade away with each step you take closer together. Then she’s running to his arms squealing as he embraces her.
Tell me. Is this really then Ithaca?
Finally, the years that separate the little family are slowly bridged. He rebuilds. He tells her stories. He tells her about you. When the sun sets, he tucks Sarah in and kisses her forehead.
Now, here he is. A couple of months that feels like decades have passed him by. He dreamt of you every night for the past three weeks. He sits in his bath, wondering if this was ever how you felt in those long, terrifying days. Did you feel peace, too?
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea, by sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown.
His eyes fall shut. His breath slows.
A moment of peace as he sees your face, smiling at him, languid hands reaching and asking him to follow you.
He hears your voice, singing into his ear as he chuckles.
Until human voices wake us, and we drown.
-
taglist: @tuquoquebrute @boofy1998 @persephone-girl @lunxramour @none-of-this-makes-any-sense
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ghostoffuturespast · 4 months
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So It Goes - Chapter 41: Anarchy
[X]
The hallway exploded. Concussions rippled and wracked the air, followed a millisecond later by the shredding of glass and metal. Shock waves sent stray bits of shrapnel rocketing past to lodge in the carpet while chunks of concrete catapulted in a spray of dust and battered the walls. Screams; the bang of the starting guns. The timer started.
I'm nearing the end of this fic, and, well, no more poems after this. (At least, I don't think...) So, I did something a little special for the occasion. Maybe kinda spoilery if you're reading the fic, but if you've played the game, you already know.
Transcript below the cut if you don't want to listen to me read remixed poetry for 4:20. (ha) Not quite formatted correctly since there aren't any justification settings here and I skipped my playing around with blank space, but you get the drift:
The Sailing Rime of J. Alfred Prufrock and The Ancient Mariner's Love Song to Byzantium
I should have been a pair of ragged claws Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. To ask a question: Would you take a bullet for me? And some in dream assured were Of the Spirit that plagued us so; Nine fathom deep he had followed us From the land of mist and snow. The self-same moment I could pray, And from my neck so free The Albatross fell off, and sank Like lead into the sea. Let us go then, you and I... And would it have been worth it, after all, Would it have been worth while, After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets, After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor- And this, and so much more?- It is impossible to say just what I mean! But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: Would it have been worth while If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl, And turning toward the window, should say: "That is not it at all, That is not what I meant, at all." No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be; Am an attendant lord, one that will do To swell a progress, start a scene or two, Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool, Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous; Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; At times, indeed, almost ridiculous- Almost, at times, the Fool. That is no country for old men. The young In one another's arms, birds in the trees, -Those dying generations- at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas, Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long Whatever is begotten, born, and dies. Caught in that sensual music all neglect Monuments of unageing intellect. I grow old... I grow old... I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. An aged man is but a paltry thing, A tattered coat upon a stick, unless Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing For every tatter in its mortal dress, Nor is there singing school but studying Monuments of its own magnificence; An therefore I have sailed the seas and come To the holy city of Byzantium. Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. O sages standing in God's holy fire As in the gold mosaic of a wall, Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre, And be the singing-masters of my soul. Consume my heart away; sick with desire And fastened to a dying animal It knows not what it is; and gather me Into the artifice of eternity. I do not think that they will sing to me. Once out of nature I shall never take My bodily form from any natural thing, But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make Of hammered gold and gold enamelling To keep a drowsy Emperor awake; Or set upon a golden bough to sing To lords and ladies of Byzantium Of what is past, or passing, or to come. I have seen them riding seaward on the waves Combing the white hair of the waves blown back When the wind blows the water white and black. We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot Sailing to Byzantium by William Butler Yeats
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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 11 months
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These stunning, elegant, older women depicted as mermaids :: The artist is Jonas Peterson
[Ana Del Castillo]
* * * *
Lucia: "Mommy can we talk about museums and buildings?" me: "Sure" Lucia: "How come I'm not a mermaid?"
[my niece Maggie]
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“I have seen them riding seaward on the waves Combing the white hair of the waves blown back When the wind blows the water white and black. We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown.” "I grow old ... I grow old ... I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each."
― T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
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notahorseindisguise · 8 months
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THE LOVE SONG OF J ALFRED PRUFROCK
oh do not ask "what is it?"/let us go and make our visit
in the room the women come and go/talking of michelangelo
there will be time/to prepare a face to mee the faces that you meet
in a minute there is time/for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse
i have measured out my life with coffee spoons
i should have been a pair of ragged claws/scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
i grow old... i grow old.../i shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled
shall i part my hair behind? do i dare to eat a peach?
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micedcoffee · 11 months
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I’ve been feeling this thing in my neck for the past few hours and I just know. When the spine bone pops it’s gonna be SO loud and SO wet and it’s gonna feel SO good. It won’t pop yet because it’s still cooking mysterious and stuff. But when it does. I know…
It’s so weird that through my life I seem to have acquired SOME of the parts of being a hag, and retained SOME parts of being a wee lad, and both are unusual, and mostly inconvenient/unpleasant or just neutral, but I’m definitely NOT 24. Which is “my” “”age.”” (Except for the way I’m 25 because everyone is 25.)
I grow old… I grow old…
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled
Or whatever
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gigi140g · 2 years
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Blog 6 - Persona Poem
I thought I had died and gone to heaven when I first read My Last Duchess by Robert Browning. 
                                                    “She had
A heart—how shall I say?— too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate’er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.”
What an eye opener when you realize he’s telling an emissary that he’s pretty much a lady killer.
“Oh, sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive.”
 It kind of catches you in the throat.  And then you appreciate that the title indicates everyone became wise to his game.   
Then some years later I read The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot.  The imagery is awe inspiring.
“When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;”
Is that not a perfect metaphor? I was captivated by Elliot from that moment on. It took me years to ‘see’ it, but that’s a me problem.  How is it Browning, and Eliot can make you feel as if this is an intimate little talk just for you?  What words or phrases are they using so that you become lost in this monologue as if you are sitting for a private viewing of the Duchess.  To be lost to the point of trying to tell Prufrock ‘the time is now, don’t worry about your bald spot, your arms are fine!’     
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Julian Peters Comics - The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock
Of course, elements of poetry such as imagery and music are important, but somehow these poems also connect with the reader on an emotional level.  To recognize Prufrock’s insecurities as he seems to age in place, his body shriveling, and his hope that he will find to someone to love that will return his love.   I wonder as does he…is it too late?   
The secret is, of course, in what is being shared.  Prufrock whines, “I grow old…I grow old…I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled” It is the apparent sharing of information that is normally kept private. In his case fears and insecurities.  Even the arrogant duke shares information of his intent, his jealousy, his “commands” that insinuates the reader with insider information regarding the demise of the duchess. This information provokes empathy for Prufrock and for the duchess.
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cinqworkshop · 1 year
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I grow old…I grow old…I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled. T.S. Eliot. #changingseasons #springtime #abstract #abtractpainting https://www.instagram.com/p/CpYIZ4-voyE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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cynthiabertelsen · 1 year
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A Meditation on Elizabeth Marshall Thomas's "Growing Old: Notes on Aging with Something Like Grace"
I grow old … I grow old … I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. ~ T.S. Eliot, “The Love Song of Alfred J. Prufrock“ Like it or not, once you’re born, you grow old. (If you’re lucky.) The end is inevitable. Think taxes. And Western society views growing old like figures representing the famous saying, “Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil”: Invisible, too. In the first few…
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safirah63 · 2 years
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I grow old … I grow old … I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. https://www.instagram.com/p/CgIBJ4fIKfzbIcb8_7793pIzpiB3RUy83e93qA0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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snowandstarlight · 5 years
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Not with a bang, but with a whimper
there’s something so anticlimactic about the last day of medical school.
maybe it’s because the excitement was over and done weeks ago. maybe it’s because we haven’t had much in the way of real class, with lectures and tests, since second year. the difference between my last day of med school and my first day of residency isn’t so much where i’ll be (the hospital) or what i’ll be doing (seeing patients), but the fact that it will actually matter next year. 
and also the fact that “it’s been two hours and you’ve learned enough today, go home” is something that will never be said to me again. 
on a serious note, i can’t believe that it’s been four years. i’ve studied and read and lost sleep. i’ve delivered babies. i’ve seen people die, and against all odds i’ve seen people live. i’ve been there for some of the best and worst times in the lives of total strangers, just by virtue of having a white coat and a badge. 
it’s been a truly incredible journey and i’m glad to have found some people on this absurd website to commiserate with through this last leg of it. i hope everyone has a great few months of traveling, relaxing, and getting ready for what comes next.
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sgstories123 · 4 years
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Neighbours Help Each Other
When Mr Lim opened the door of his flat, he saw his neighbour, Charlene outside her flat kissing a teenage boy in a white junior college uniform. One of her hands was fondling the front of his trousers.
“I am going to miss you and the little one.” Charlene muttered softly to her boyfriend before realising that Mr Lim had just walked out of his flat. “Oh, hello, Mr Lim.”
Mr Lim smiled at Charlene and her boyfriend. He turned towards the common rubbish to throw away the bag of rubbish in his hands.
Mr Lim had been neighbours with Charlene for several years. He had seen how she had grown from a young girl to a sexy teenager. Now in a junior college, he had seen her often in her uniform in the mornings where she would sit in front of her flat, wearing her shoes. Sometimes, she will spread her legs too wide and he would catch glimpses of her panties. He was not sure if Charlene knew that he was stealing glances at her but he knew that Charlene was confident of her sexuality. He had seen her bring home too many boyfriends and had behaved too intimately with them, especially during the afternoons when her parents are not at home.
Mr Lim threw his rubbish in the chute and walked back to his flat. He caught a glimpse of Charlene’s boyfriend as he took the lift down. Mr Lim smiled to himself. He was right. This was another new boyfriend as he had not seen him before.
As he walked towards his flat, he saw that Charlene was still at the door. She was smiling at him, seemingly waiting for him. He had not realised earlier but Charlene was wearing a white tee without her bra. He could make out the dark nipples, protruding through her tee and the shape of her breasts. He wondered if she was wearing panties under her black FBT shorts.
“Mr Lim, are you free to help me? Some of my stuff fell off the top shelf of my cupboard and if you could help me, I will like to put them back properly.” Charlene asked.
“Sure. Why you never ask your boyfriend to help you?” Mr Lim made his way into Charlene’s flat.
“He needs to rush for his basketball game.” Charlene responded as she led Mr Lim into her room
“Basketball game more important than pretty girlfriend, meh?” Mr Lim teased. “If I were him, I will drop everything to please my princess.”
“Mr Lim! I did not know you were such a flatter. So this is how you got Mrs Lim to marry you.” Charlene laughed. “Anyway, my boyfriend was the one who made the stuff fell off the cupboard in the first place.”
“So, he is doubly guilty. Make things fall and don’t help you put them back.” Mr Lim looked around Charlene’s room. He had been to Charlene’s flat several times but never in her room. He saw a single bed that seemed to be slept in recently, with the pillow and blanket placed untidily. He saw a tall cupboard with several books on its side. These must be the things that Charlene wants to put back in place.
Charlene had produced a short stool ladder. “Can you hold me so that I don’t fall off.” She went up the few steps and Mr Lim had her round ass in full view. “Mr Lim, hold me quickly or I might fall off.”
Mr Lim woke up from his stupor and held onto her thighs. Charlene’s skin was so smooth that he had to control his urge to run his hands all over them.
“Can you hold a little higher? Maybe hold my buttocks? I need to reach higher.” Charlene suggested.
Mr Lim held onto Charlene’s round, firm ass. It was heaven to touch something so sexy even though it was covered by a pair of FBT short.
“Mr Lim, can you switch around to the front and hold my waist. I need to reach further out and I don’t want to fall flat on my face.” Charlene took another step up the ladder stool.
As Mr Lim moved to the front, he looked up and saw the bottom of Charlene’s naked breast now exposed through the bottom of her tee. As Charlene moved, he could also catch glimpses of her erect nipples. Mr Lim was aroused. He was trying hard not to stroke his hard cock just looking at the pair of young breasts.
“Er, so how did your boyfriend made the stuff from your cupboard fall off.” Mr Lim tried to distract himself from his naughty thoughts.
“Ha ha! That idiot was trying to fuck me against the wall and he got so excited that he hit the cupboard and everything fell off.” Mr Lim regretted asking the question. Now he is only more aroused as images of Charlene and her boyfriend fucking each other started playing in his mind.
He tried to look away from Charlene’s breast by looking around the room. He saw the untidy bed and guessed that must be another place of action. He thought he saw dark patches but he was not sure if he was imagining things. Then on the bedside table, he saw unmistakable evidence of what happened earlier. There were two used condoms, with white sperm still in each of them, trapped by a knot at the end of the condoms. There were also two condom wrappers, an unused condom and the packaging for a 3-piece condom. Sex was everywhere in this room.
Charlene stepped down from the ladder. “Thanks, Mr Lim! Now everything is back in place.”
“Er, not really. You should have thrown that. You shouldn’t leave these around.” Mr Lim pointed to the condoms.
“Oops. I had forgotten about that. But I usually don’t throw them away.” Charlene replied. “I keep them as tasty snacks.” Charlene picked one of the condoms up, untied the knot, turned her head upwards and using her fingers, pushed the sperm out of the condom and into her mouth.
Mr Lim watched Charlene as she sexily gulped down her boyfriend’s sperm. By now, he was horny as hell. Before he realised it, his hand was already stroking his hard cock through his shorts as he watched Charlene.
“Oh, are you hard? Shall I help you since you helped me, Mr Lim?” Charlene bent down in front of Mr Lim and without waiting for an answer, pulled down his shorts and underwear in one swift stroke.
“Oh my God! You are so hard. Your cock is definitely bigger than any of my boyfriends. I knew an older man would have a larger cock. I am going to so enjoy this.” Without another word, Charlene swallowed Mr Lim’s cock, curling her tongue around it, enjoying the warm rod in her mouth. It was much larger than any of the cock that she has sucked so Charlene took time to get used to it. As she got more familiar with it, she was able to get more of Mr Lim’s cock into her mouth. She could feel it reaching into the depths of her throat.
As Charlene bobbed her head on his hard cock, Mr Lim held onto her head, enjoying a young girl sucking on his forty-year old cock. He closed his eyes, enjoying the pleasure that was emanating from his cock to every part of his body. As Charlene worked on his cock, he could feel his orgasm approaching.
“I am going to cum.” He whispered softly. Charlene did not stop but continued sucking even harder and faster. She squeezed the base of his cock, increasing the pleasure for Mr Lim. “Arghh!” As Mr Lim lost control, he ejaculated streams of sperm into Charlene’s mouth. Charlene was sufficiently experienced to know what was coming and swallowed the jet of hot cum as quickly as she came, finishing with a final suck and licking off any remains on Mr Lim’s dick. When she removed her mouth from Mr Lim’s cock, it was clean except for a thin layer of Charlene’s saliva.
“That was a huge load of tasty cum. Have you not been fucking Mrs Lim lately?” Charlene laughed with a little twinkle in her eye.
“Not really. We don’t have sex that often now.” Mr Lim confessed. “Sorry. I am not sure what came over me. I should not have done that.”
“Are you sorry? Then make it up to me.” Charlene looked at Mr Lim with a serious look.
Mr Lim was worried. Is he going to be blackmailed for having sex with his neighbour? “What do you want me to do?”
“Fuck me.” Charlene took off her tee, finally revealing her breasts fully to Mr Lim. She took off her shorts as well and as Mr Lim had suspected, she was not wearing any panties. She laid down on her bed spreading her legs and revealing her slit, surrounded by a thin and small patch of pubic hair.
Mr Lim was unable to control himself. His cock was hard again. He moved towards her bed, picked up the last unused condom, tore it open with his teeth and rolled the condom over his hard cock. He pushed a finger into Charlene’s slit, only to find it already wet and inviting. Without further invitation, he spread Charlene’s legs further apart and placed himself between them. He guided his cock into her cunt. Even though she was so wet and had just been fucked by her boyfriend, Mr Lim still found her cunt tight. He inched slowly into her, enjoying the tightness and warmth of her cunt.
Charlene was moaning in pleasure as Mr Lim’s large cock entered her. This was a man’s cock, larger than any of her boyfriends. She could feel her vagina walls expanding as the cock slowly entered her. There was an edge of pain to the pleasure which made it even more exciting. She clenched the bedsheets tightly as she allowed the pain to subside and the pleasure to take over.
Finally, Mr Lim entered Charlene fully. He could feel their bodies connecting. He looked at Charlene. Here was a sexy young girl, moaning in pleasure as his cock engorged her cunt. He felt a sense of invisibility, he felt like Superman. As Charlene becomes more accustomed to the size of his cock, he started moving, pumping her first slowly and then increasing his pace. As he had already ejaculated once, he was able to last much longer and enjoy himself a lot more.
Charlene was moaning, louder with each thrust as she enjoyed Mr Lim’s fucking. As Mr Lim increased his pace, the frequency of the waves of pleasure increased as well. She was soon screaming in pleasure, all other sensations were numbed except for the pounding in her cunt. She felt herself growing weak from the intense orgasms that she was getting.
“I can’t take it any more, Mr Lim. Oh, please. I can’t take it any more.” Charlene gasped. Hearing that, Mr Lim quickened his pace, emptying his load into the condom and collapsing on top of Charlene. He kissed her on the lips and hug her tightly.
Charlene was relived that it was over. It was just too intense and her cunt was so sore. She remembered about her snack, and pushed Mr Lim off her. She rolled his condom off expertly and quickly tied a knot to secure the sperm.
“Thanks for the snack, Mr Lim.”
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easterndaylighttime · 2 years
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after bouldering my friends and I like to go to the kids' area (always empty) just to play and we were doing handstands and things and I was like you know I used to be able to do a front walkover which is a handstand into a bridge and then you stand back up and I tried it and it was exactly like in a sitcom like it worked and I stood back up and then every muscle group in my front and back just collapsed at the same time and I was in blinding pain for the next ten minutes :/ I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled
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