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#i gotta stop torturing myself
kakateru · 6 months
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Take good care of your Glass Scientist
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#woof. if all goes to plan Tomorrow is the last day i have to take measurements forever. if all goes to plan. if all goes to plan. but im#not holding my breath bc thats asking for chaos. i think this week ive done a good job of not pushing it#in terms of not torturing myself and making myself insane. which is good bc its exhausting taking measurements with the ambient stress of#apartment hunting from across the country. ive toured 2 places from afar and applied to them. and im meeting with someone to talk abt#potentially being roommates tomorrow. which is terrifying bc i really just wanna beg them like pls pls like me so i can stop looking pls#like i have to rely on my charisma i guess when im a bit asocial and odd. not unlikable but idk maybe they want someone more normie idk#its exhausting. ive sent so many emails and so many places r like no u gotta physically visit. ugh#and i have to clean my whole apartment by Tuesday for my landlord to inspect bc i had to give them a 30 day notice or else they wouldn't#release my info for like referal on background checks. there should b flexibility in when i can leave tho. its just stressful#at least im doing this when im pretty stable and i stop taking measurements tomorrow but i haven't taken a break since last Saturday#and haven't really had time to properly draw which annoys me and apparently i wont get a break this weekend with all the cleaning i gotta do#but oh well. at least im better off than the other person i kno who is moving Tuesday across the country and currently doesnt have a place#to stay. so i guess theyre gonna b living out of their car for a while. im stressed enough a month out from leaving#sigh. im just v tired and my heart is beating too fast and i wanna start cleaning now but im sleepy#whenever we go sampling we joke that we have to make sacrifices to the weather gods for good conditions. i guess i gotta make sacrifices#to the housing gods 🙏 ugh. pls. i dont wanna still b doing this for another week when i wont have time bc ill actually have to focus on#things. ugh. cant wait to b in the future where i dont have to deal with this#unrelated
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noxchievous · 1 year
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Tiger and Dandelion dancing in the moonlight ^_^
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tspultradeluxe · 10 months
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Enough of me agonizing over my identity. If I imagine myself as multiple people who give a shit
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weaselle · 2 years
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telling myself i can get through one more day for the 12 thousandth day in a row
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m-aximumjoy · 1 year
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curls up into a cocoon for the next week waiting for my zine app results
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yoohyeontual · 2 years
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I just saw something that hurt me so much, even tho I shouldn’t care 😔
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mt-fujin · 6 months
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Realizing that I basically denied myself the ability to masturbate until the end of October....
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clara-licht · 11 months
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guess who just wanted to write a fic, looked up some things for that fic, and ended up finding out more about herself than she’d like?
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yeslordmyking · 2 years
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Just woke up and prayed for God to get Jackson to Heaven for like an hour. Am I ever going to stop obsessing over things and people that will never have anything to do with my life? 🙄
#like you don't stop praying for someone right? but at some point you have to accept that maybe something is not part of God's plan#you can't beg hard enough. you can't force it through prayer. you can't sent enough unnoticed dms and verses#you can't make God change His mind because it matters to you and your little spec of a life that much#of course gripping hard to the hope that God will say yes when the time is right he will obey the gospel and enter Heaven#whenever I wake up I can't help but wonder if Jackson's done anything to bring himself nearer or farther from God and just panic pray#I still don't know if it's something I'm meant to care about and continue or just a silly wordly obsession I need to let go of#I've already tried letting go. But... who can just give up and accept someone they (delusionally) care about might not be saved?#does God really ask that of us? to just accept that for our loved ones? no way right....#btw I saw Jackson refer to his fans as 'loved ones' on twitter and I'm devastated that I'm probably not included in that#I'm not worthy of being considered jacky or ahgase or stan or fan of anyone or anything anymore....#why love anybody but God that deeply... no matter how much good and potential you see in them... right? God says don't be inspired by man..#so how can I dare to think highly about people and see good in them?#goodness this is torture. I keep saying I can't care anymore but instead I care MORE. I'm not supposed to. I was never supposed to...#I'll keep praying until I'm 9000% positive God doesn't want me to have a single thought or care towards Jackson ever again....#I truly hope that never ever happens until I know he's saved. then I'll relax. a little...#anyway have I mortifyingly embarrassed myself enough yet and exposed my shameful heart#gotta go. shame me while I'm gone. for whatever reason I keep coming back to my dead blog like there's something here for me....#laters gators#quoting mcu even though I'm supposed to not love that anymore either 🤪🤪🤪 k bye forreal
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rhettabbotts · 3 months
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baby, if you only knew - dilf!rhett abbott x babysitter!reader
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pairing: dilf!rhett abbott x babysitter!reader
summary: tensions boil over and everything changes for you and rhett one night at a rancher’s event you attend.
w/c: 5.4k (she’s a mammoth)
warnings: 18+ only. smut. age gap (babysitter 20s, rhett 40s). dirty talk. making out in an elevator. daddy kink. possessive rhett. slightly rough sex. cunnilingus. hair pulling. overstimulation. size kink. aftercare. rhett’s grey hair. some fluff.
a/n: i can see you by taylor swift is to blame for this. enjoy the filth! also couldn’t stop myself from adding some babysitter lore. also see green, green dress from tick, tick…boom! for the dress reference!
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Six months. Six long, tortuous months of working under Rhett Abbott’s roof.
Okay, it wasn’t as bad as you were making it out to be in your head. His daughters were angels, and you appreciated that he worked with your school schedule as you attended your graduate program. And he let you live in his guest room rent free.
But it was sweet torture. You had fallen hard for the single father of two and it made every day even harder than the last. Rhett was a wonderful man, an attentive father, and a hell of a cook. A hard worker and he was so handsome, you could hardly breathe around him. Who wouldn’t fall in love with the cowboy?
You tried everything in the world to rid your thoughts of him, but you were highly unsuccessful. And he only did things that made it worse. Every time you brushed by him in the halls it felt like electricity coursed through your entire body. He had to feel it too, right?
Delusional. That’s what you were. You were the babysitter. Nothing more. Eventually, the girls would grow up and you wouldn’t be needed anymore. And that thought caused your chest to tighten painfully.
What a thought to have while washing the dishes. You heard your name but it sounded far off, like your ears were full of cotton.
“Tilly, come quick!” Grace shouted once more to get your attention. It made you turn abruptly, soap suds went flying as you dropped the ceramic pot you were washing. “Sorry,” she mumbled when you glared slightly at her.
“What’s wrong, Gracie?” you questioned as you wiped your hands off with the flower embroidered kitchen towel. Something you bought and put out to leave your own touch on this place.
“Oh. Nothing. Ellie just wanted to show you that we won our game.” The girls had been obsessed with Super Mario Brothers and had been playing it for days.
“That’s great guys! How about we take a break and you help me get dinner started?”
“Can we have ice cream for dessert?” Ellie, Rhett’s younger daughter pouted, bright blue eyes pleading. She and Grace were the carbon copies of Rhett. Same eyes, same nose, same crooked smile. You could never say no to them.
“Of course. But don’t tell your dad,” you whispered, placing your finger to your lips like it was a top secret.
The girls helped you finish the food just as Rhett came in from another long day of herding and branding cattle. He was dusty, covered in dirt and sweat and tendrils of his hair stuck to his forehead, the ends curling up. You wanted to run your fingers through it, sweat be damned.
“Daddy!” “Daddy, look at what we made!”
The girls ran towards Rhett, pausing when they got close enough to smell him.
“You stink,” Grace commented flatly.
“Thanks. Love you too. Listen, I’m gonna go shower and I’ll be down in a bit. You all can start without me,” Rhett said as he kicked his boots off by the door and took the stairs two at a time. “Oh, and Tilly?” He called from the upstairs landing.
“Yeah?”
“I gotta ask you something later. Don’t let me forget.”
You just nodded, stomach turning at the thought of what it could be.
Grace and Ellie helped you set the table, always eager to follow your every move. It makes you smile. Sometimes you felt like an actual family. And then you had to bring yourself back to reality. Just the nanny. Nothing more. Dinner was quiet, everyone was hungry and occupied with getting their bellies full.
You were resting on the couch as Rhett finished bath and bed time with the girls, trying to read your latest book but your mind was going a thousand miles a minute. Your heart started to beat faster as you heard Rhett descend down the stairs.
Rhett took himself to the kitchen, busying himself by pouring a glass of whiskey. A bottle you bought for him for Christmas the year prior. You peeked at him over the top of your book, watching his back muscles flex in the tight black tee he wore. Your mouth watered at the sight of his strong arms and his soft stomach as he turned to face you.
You quickly raised the book above your eyes, fearing that you had been caught staring. You missed Rhett’s knowing smirk.
“Move over,” Rhett poked at the bottom of your foot, the motion tickling you ever so slightly and causing you to jerk your leg towards you. “What are you reading? New dirty novel?” He teased.
“No…” you said quietly, a little shamefully.
“Liar. Is this one better than the last at least?”
“So far. Hey, what did you want to ask me earlier?” You stretched your legs back out and they landed in Rhett’s lap. He didn’t seem to mind. His unoccupied hand landed on your shin, calloused thumb lightly brushing the bone there. Your mind went blank and you could hear nothing but static in your ears.
“I got invited to this rancher’s event. They want me to give a speech. Stupid, but I agreed. And I… I need a plus one. And I figured maybe if you wanted to-“
“Yes!” You said eagerly, spine straightening. “I mean- sorry- go ahead…” Your cheeks felt hot at your abruptness. He was probably going to ask you to set him up with someone. Probably Lisa, Ellie’s dance teacher. She always had her eye on him.
“I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me. Give you a break. It’s the weekend my parents wanted to take the girls camping. That is.. if you didn’t have any plans…”
Rhett sounded nervous. He was looking down at where his hand rested on your leg, avoiding all eye contact.
“Oh. Yeah. I don’t have anything going on. I’ll go with you. As-“
“Friends, of course.”
“Right. Friends. What’s the dress code?” You asked, heart sinking slightly.
“Black tie,” Rhett grumbled. He hated dressing up. If he can’t wear flannel, he doesn’t want to be there.
“Perfect. I’ll find a dress to wear.”
“Well. I’ll leave you to the reading. Goodnight, Tilly.” Rhett tapped your leg a couple of times before moving you so he could stand.
You sighed deeply as he left the room, trying to ignore the gut wrenching feeling you had at his response. You couldn’t focus on your book and you eventually went upstairs to attempt to sleep.
“I want you so bad,” Rhett growled against your neck, teeth sinking into your skin causing you to whimper and arch against him. His leg was in between yours, keeping your thighs separated and your barely covered cunt brush against his suit pants. “You’re fucking soaked, sweet girl. You’ve wanted this for so long, haven’t you?”
“Rhett, please!” You whined pathetically, grinding down on his thigh, searching for any sort of relief.
“Beg for it, baby. Beg for daddy. Tell me what you want.” Rhett said, voice low and gravelly. He pressed you into the wall harder, flexing his thigh as you keened. “I know you want me to fu-“
“Tillyyyyyy, wake uppppp,” a tiny voice called from the other side of the door. Your eyes shot open so fast it made your head spin. Your entire body was hot even though you just had the sheet covering you and the ceiling fan was on. You were having a dream about Rhett. A fucking wet dream. And now Ellie was yelling at you in the hallway. You felt like you were being punished.
You checked your phone. 5:37am. Jesus, why was she awake?
“I’m up, El. Hold your horses.” You went to the en-suite bathroom to splash cold water on your face. “Get yourself together. Now,” you said through gritted teeth, pointing a finger at yourself in the mirror.
The four-year-old stood outside your door with her stuffed horse tucked under her arms. Her eyes were a little red and she was sniffling.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I feel sick,” she whispered weakly, clutching the horse to her chest tighter.
“Come on, bug. I’ll get you some medicine.”
You picked her up and perched her on your hip as you carried her down the stairs. Her forehead felt a little warm. She sat patiently on the counter while you poured the medicine in the little cup and you rubbed her back as she swallowed it.
“Good job, El! I’m proud of you. Here, drink some water and let’s get you back to bed, okay?”
She nodded as she took a big gulp of water from her sippy cup. You trotted back up the stairs, bouncing her slightly to make her giggle.
“Alright, you got your water here and Honey is right here with you. Try to get some sleep, bug. I’ll fix pancakes when you wake up.” You tucked Ellie in, kissing her forehead before you stood up.
Her eyes were already heavy and she mumbled something you couldn’t hear.
“What was that?”
“Luh you, mama.” She repeated sleepily, snuggling her horse and then started snoring softly immediately.
“Oh… I- I love you too, bug.”
You didn’t know how to react. She had never called you that before and it made your eyes misty with tears. You couldn’t go back to sleep. Not after the dream and not after Ellie calling you mama.
The next few hours went by in a blur. You had planned to go shopping with your friend Tabitha to find your dress for the dinner. After dropping the girls off at school, you met Tabitha at the mall. You were in a daze, barely listening to her rant about her latest failed Tinder date.
“Hellooooo,” she snapped her fingers in front of your face. “Are you even listening?”
“Yeah, sorry. No, I’m just- I don’t know what I’m doing,” you sighed as you placed your face in your hands.
“What do you mean?”
“With Rhett! It’s like- why am I going to this dinner? Why do I keep torturing myself? And Ellie! She called me her mom this morning! I want a family and I feel like I have it but it’s not really mine, you know?”
“You need to get laid. That’s what you need,” Tabitha said nonchalantly. She looked through the dresses on the rack in the store you were in. “Oh. My. God. This. This dress. Go try it on. NOW!”
She shoved a velvet dress into your arms and pushed you towards the fitting rooms. It was a deep green color, the fabric felt soft against your skin. It wasn’t a dress you would pick out for yourself but once you slid it over your head your jaw dropped at the sight in the mirror.
The bodice was a corset type, something you didn’t typically reach for but was pleasantly surprised at how it looked on you. The dress was form fitting but not uncomfortably so. The strap tied around your neck, lifting your chest and displaying the tops of your breasts tastefully.
The dress hugged your every curve, accentuating parts of your body you weren’t necessarily happy with, but now you felt sexy. Powerful. You opened the door and called for Tabitha. She came running with a few other options in her hands but her reaction matched your own as she laid eyes on you.
“Holy fuck. Yeah, no, forget these. You have to get that one. If he doesn’t fuck you, I will.”
You rolled her eyes at her antics and looked into the mirror once more. You felt so beautiful in the dress. It made you a little giddy at the thought of Rhett’s reaction. If he even had one. You tried to shake the negative thought away. If he didn’t appreciate it, someone else would. Maybe a nice cowboy who’d be down for a one night stand at a fancy hotel.
The week passed by in the blink of an eye and before you knew it, Rhett was packing the girls’ bags for their camping trip and was shouting up at you that he was going to pick up his suit in town from the tailor’s.
You took your time styling your hair the way you liked and you did your makeup, keeping it light but putting on a red lip. Just to be a little bold.
You hid in your room until you heard Rhett finish getting ready and head down the stairs.
“Tilly, you ready? We should leave so-“ Rhett stopped as he turned at the sound of your heels clicking against the wood. “Wow…” he breathed. “You look, ehem, you look nice. That’s a pretty dress.” He fiddled with his cuff links, avoiding eye contact.
“Thank you,” you responded shyly. He held his arm out to escort you to the black pickup truck. The ride was silent except for the radio and the hum of the engine. You couldn’t stop from looking to Rhett. His hair was slicked back, the gray hair looked more prominent. His temples were nearly white. He had a shadow of stubble on his jaw and his suit fit him in all the right places.
You pulled up to a beautiful hotel. It was a grand building, accents of gold sparkled in the setting sun and gorgeous flowers lined the walkways. Rows of trucks indicated that you were at the right place. And the men in bolo ties and cowboy hats gave it away.
Rhett forwent his Stetson and chose a sleek black tie, looking a little out of place but you thought he looked beautiful.
He parked and inhaled deeply, gripping the steering wheel with both hands and closing his eyes.
“Everything okay?” You questioned, placing a perfectly manicured hand on his forearm.
“Huh? Yeah. M’good. Just nervous. I can’t stand half the people in that room,” he mumbled, smiling softly at you. It made butterflies erupt in your stomach.
“You’ll do great. I can fake an emergency if needed.”
“Fall down the stairs if I give you a look,” Rhett joked.
“You got it, boss,” you winked at him. You reached for the door handle, preparing to get out of the truck but his hand on your arm now stopped you.
“Wait… I have something for you. A token of appreciation for coming with me. Also, an early birthday present.”
Rhett pulled a long, rectangular box from the side of the door. He opened it to show a diamond bracelet.
“Rhett- that’s- I can’t-“ You couldn’t stop from reaching out and running your fingers along the jewels.
“You deserve it. You work so hard and I don’t say it enough but you mean a lot to me. To the girls. Just wanted to give you something nice,” he said, voice a little shaky.
Something shifted as he clasped the bracelet around your wrist. His touch lingered on your skin and it was hard for you to breathe. You tried so hard to keep things professional, but it’s changed. Everything has changed in the cab of Rhett’s truck.
You headed inside, arm linked with Rhett’s as he greeted the people inside. He was so charismatic, putting on a face you’d never seen before. It was sexy. He was controlling the room. Everyone loved him.
You could feel eyes following you as you walked towards the front of the ballroom. You heard a few whispers from the older women, surely gossiping about the obvious age gap between you and your employer.
“I’m gonna grab some drinks. You gonna be okay here?” Rhett whispered in your ear, his warm breath washing over your skin and sending a chill down your spine.
“I’ll be good. Can you get me a Long Island?”
“Of course. Be right back.” He hurried off towards the bar, getting stopped several times along the way. You felt like a fish out of water here. You chewed on your thumb nail, anxiously waiting for Rhett to come back.
“I think you’re the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen,” a voice said from behind you. You turned to see the chair to your right being pulled away and a young man, around your age, sat down beside you. His black cowboy hat hid his eyes but he had a wide smirk on his face.
“I bet you’ve said that at least ten times tonight,” you responded, trying to ignore him.
“Name’s Wes. And you are-“
“Not interested. Beat it, buddy,” Rhett growled as he sat your drinks down and sat on the other side of you, wrapping his arm around the back of your chair possessively.
“I see how it is. Rhett… good to see you.”
Rhett hummed as he glared at Wes over the rim of his glass, silently willing him to scram. It was hot.
“That wasn’t very nice.”
“He’s trouble,” Rhett mumbled.
The evening went on without a hitch. Dinner was decent and you joined in on a few conversations. Rhett’s speech was wonderful and informative about the cattle business. He looked good on stage but you knew he was nervous. He made his way back to you, smiling slightly.
“Come dance with me, honey,” he spoke lowly.
“Let me go freshen up a bit,” you squeaked, rushing to the bathroom. Your nerves were getting the best of you. It was just a dance. A quick dance and you’d be heading home. Nothing more.
You made your way back to the ballroom, catching Rhett’s eyes and you trembled slightly at the heat that formed there. A slow song started just as you made your way to the dance floor.
His large hand engulfed yours as his other splayed on the low of your back. You could smell his cologne as he pulled you close to him. You felt a piece of paper in your right palm as Rhett swayed the two of you around.
“What’s that?”
“You can read it when we’re done dancin’,” Rhett drawled, looking down at you. Even with you in heels, his frame still towered over you.
The song ended too quickly for your liking and Rhett was called over to a table filled with older gentlemen, leaving you standing in the middle of the floor. The crumpled napkin had been left in your hand and you spread it out to read the note.
Meet me at the staircase by the piano - R
You gasped slightly and looked around, meeting Rhett’s eyes as he chatted with the group he was with. He was expressionless but there was a fire in his eyes again. One that made your body react and you tried not to squeeze your thighs together in front of everyone there. You made your way back to your table to drink the rest of your drink, a little liquid courage, before you made your way to the staircase.
You stood there for what felt like ages but in reality was only a few minutes. You bounced on your feet, nerves building every second that passed.
“Hey, you,” Rhett’s voice called from behind you, approaching you with his hands in his pockets.
“Hey,” you responded, feeling awkward.
Rhett pulled a key from his pocket. A hotel room key. Room 475 engraved in the key tag.
“You can say no. You can tell me to fuck off. You can quit-“
“Yes,” the answer came without a beat.
“Yeah?” His eyebrows raised slightly, a small smirk forming on his thin lips.
“You have no idea how bad I want you, Rhett,” you confessed, breathless.
Rhett let out a desperate noise as he reached for you and crashed his lips against yours in a bruising kiss, one hand cupping the back of your head. You moaned wantonly as his tongue expertly licked into your mouth. You should go upstairs, should stop before anyone sees you.
“Rhett, we should- we need to-“
“Yeah… Yeah.”
His hand linked with yours as he pulled you to the elevator, not wasting time pushing you inside and against the wall, the railing digging into your lower spine a bit uncomfortably. His lips reconnected with yours, a low grunt escaping his throat.
“So fucking beautiful,” he muttered, lips barely leaving yours. Hands explored your body, gripping at your soft hips and thighs, circling around to grab handfuls of your ass. The touch caused you to arch your body towards his, back bowing as he traveled higher and started palming your breast.
“I’ve thought about this - thought about you - for longer than I’d like to admit,” Rhett spoke, deep voice rattling in his chest. “Makes me feel like a dirty old man.”
You just whined pathetically, gripping at his lapels to anchor yourself. You were about to grind against the thigh that had pushed its way between your thighs but the high pitched ding of the elevator caused you to jump apart. Moving so fast, you would have thought you had been electrocuted.
A little old lady walked into the elevator, not missing the way you and Rhett looked disheveled. It was blatantly obvious what you were just doing. Rhett cracked a smile at her, nodding his head in her direction. Your chest was still heaving and your knees felt shaky.
She only went up two floors, a quick ride that felt like an eternity. Rhett’s pinky brushed against your hand where it rested on the rail, the small touch sending shocks through you.
“Have a nice evenin, ma’am,” Rhett said sickeningly sweet and you had to slap a hand over your mouth to stifle a laugh at the look she threw his way as she exited the lift.
Your stop was next and nerves bubbled in your stomach at what was about to happen.
Silence surrounded you and Rhett now as you walked to the room. Not a word was spoken as he unlocked the door and made his way inside. You stood in the middle of the room awkwardly, wringing your hands together as you looked toward the wooden floor.
Rhett tossed his jacket haphazardly onto the floor, approaching you slowly. Giving you the chance to run. It reminded you of a lion stalking a gazelle before it pounced. His calloused hands rubbed the length of your arms before his touch brushed the side of your neck, eventually cupping your face. A rough thumb caressed your cheekbone.
“Darlin’, look at me. Please,” Rhett spoke quietly, as if not to scare you. You continued to look down, which caused him to pinch your chin and lift your gaze to him. “Are you sure about this? We can- we don’t have to-“
“No. No, I want to. I have for a while. A long, long while.”
“Good,” he said, coming out an octave lower and his eyes landed on your red covered lips. His thumb ran across the pout of your bottom lip, tugging it down slightly. “I want to devour you.”
A shaky breath escaped you before you wrapped your lips around his thumb, sucking softly on the digit.
“Fuck,” he moaned.
You stood there for a moment, his thumb in your mouth and your eyes locked on each other. It made tensions rise tenfold. You pulled away with a ‘pop’, a trail of saliva following in its wake.
Impatience got the best of you as you started clawing at his tie and shirt buttons, nearly sending them flying through the room. Rhett chuckled at your huffy breaths of frustration as you yanked on his clothing. You threw the tie behind you, his shirt was shoved off his shoulder and into the chair next to the door. His belt made a loud clink as it hit the window.
“Easy, girl. Don’t destroy the room. Or my clothes,” Rhett teased, stopping your hasty movements. You finally took the chance to pause and look at the man standing before you. Hairy chest on full display. The dark hair traveled down in a continuous line all the way down to the waist of his pants. His soft stomach and love handles made your mouth water.
“You’re so- fuck, Rhett. You’re so sexy,” you said.
“My turn.” He untied the neck of your dress slowly, taking his time pulling the bow loose. He turned you so your back was to him, unzipping you unhurriedly. You let the dress fall to your feet as you turned to face him again, leaving you in your lingerie and high heels.
“My god. Look at you.” Rhett took in the sight of you. Black lace left little to the imagination.
Things moved in a blur after that. You nearly tripped over your own feet as you tried to remove the heels and he almost ripped your bra as he unclasped it with one hand. He tossed it aside and you tried not to giggle as it landed on the lampshade of the lamp that sat on the bedside table.
The edge of the bed knocked against the back of your knees as he pushed you softly so you landed on your back, bouncing on the mattress slightly. He stood between your spread thighs, undoing the button of his slack and pushing them down, revealing the tight black boxers he wore underneath.
You let out a quiet whine as your eyes traveled down his torso and stopping at the large bulge that was confined by the cotton. Even in the low lighting, you could see a small wet spot from the precum.
Large hands massaged your inner thighs as he spread them apart even farther, causing a slight burn in your muscles. He groaned at the sight of your barely clothed cunt. Rhett fell to his knees swiftly and delved into you without warning. Expert licks moved against your wetness through the thin lace, which had been quickly ripped away. His nose bumped against your bundle of nerves as his tongue explored your folds.
His long fingers soon joined his ministrations, finding that spongy spot inside of you in a matter of seconds. You’d question how he did that later. As of now, you tried to control your shaking limbs as he pushed you higher and higher towards your peak. Scratchy stubble rubbed against you, causing a delicious burn.
He stuck true to his word and devoured you, not leaving one part of you undiscovered.
Rhett’s lips wrapped around your clit and started sucking softly, tongue flicking against the bud. You trembled beneath him and your back bowed off the mattress, bucking against his mouth. A strong arm slung itself over your middle, keeping you pinned to the bed.
Your hands gripped his locks tightly, tugging hard when his tongue sped up.
“Rhett. Oh, Rhett. Fuck. Daddy!” It didn’t take much for your moans to become near screams and for galaxies to explode behind your eyelids as you came against Rhett’s face. Your body was jerking involuntarily as you traveled down from your high. Rhett placed feather light kisses against you before pulling away, hair sticking up in places and his face covered in your release.
He traveled up your body and kissed you soundly, the tangy taste of your desire mixing with something so Rhett made you both moan into each other’s mouths.
“Lay back, sweetheart. Gonna take care of you,” Rhett said quietly. You made yourself comfortable against the soft pillows as Rhett stretched you in preparation for his cock. “Damn pillow princess,” he joked. It made you smile.
He had three thick fingers inside of you before you stopped him.
“Stop! Please! I- I wanna come with you inside me,” you pleaded, gripping his wrist. He nodded and pulled his fingers out fleetingly.
You blindly shoved at his boxers and he clumsily kicked them off the end of the bed, his hard cock slapping against his lower stomach. Fuck, he was big.
Rhett pulled back and sat on his knees, gripping the base of his dick and placing it on your stomach.
“Look, baby. You think you can take me? Think you can handle daddy’s cock?”
“Please! Please, fuck me. Need it. Need you. Please!” You begged, lifting your hips and causing the leaking head to brush against your already sensitive clit. You simultaneously let out a loud moan. He rubbed himself through your folds, teasing you and him both.
“Wait, hold on.” Rhett pulled away and searched for his trousers, pulling his wallet out and rummaging through it. He pulled out a foil wrapper and ripped it with his teeth. You had never seen anything sexier.
“Can I do it?” You asked shyly, propping yourself up on your elbows. He handed the condom to you and kept eye contact as you rolled the latex down his length carefully. He was heavy in your hand.
You laid back once more, a trembling breath escaping your mouth as he lined up with your entrance. Even with his prepping, it was still a stretch. The slight burn caused you to hiss and dig your nails into his biceps. He took a break between each inch, time passing slowly as he made small thrusts. He eventually bottomed out, a broken moan coming from his chest as you squeezed around his length.
You stayed like that for a moment, both breathing heavily as his forearms caged you in.
“Daddy. Move. Please,” you whined, fingers moving tangle in the curls at the base of his neck. He slowly pulled out, nearly all the way, before thrusting back into you, the girth and length of him touching places you’d never been able to reach before. It started slow, he was allowing you to get accustomed to him.
However, it didn’t take long before his thrusts became a little rougher. His hands now were placed a the top of your head as he put his body weight into his movements, grunts escaping him with each pass, your high pitched breaths matching him.
“So tight. Taking me so well. Like you were fucking made for it. Made for me. All mine, all mine,” Rhett rambled. The headboard started to smack against the wall slightly as he pounded into you. You couldn’t breathe. You were approaching a feeling you had never felt before. Your brain was becoming fuzzy and your ears were beginning to ring.
“Da-daddy. M’gonna- I’m almost there,” you squealed as a particularly harsh thrust hit your g-spot.
“C’mon, sweet baby. Come for daddy,” his deft fingers started rubbing your swollen clit in tight circles and you let out a scream as your release washed over you. Rhett continued fucking into you until he pushed deep inside you and threw his head back towards the ceiling, filling the condom with his own release.
He collapsed on top of you, full body weight covering you like a blanket. You felt like were floating. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed against Rhett’s back, his skin covered in a light sheen of sweat. You stayed silent for a while, both trying to catch your breaths as you came down. He eventually pulled out of you slowly, causing you to wince. He discarded the condom and went to the bathroom to grab a warm washcloth and a glass of water.
You were quiet as he took care of you, smiling softly as he pulled you to sit up and take a few sips of water. You had never been cared for like this after sex. It made your chest constrict. You moved under the covers and waited for Rhett to follow suit. He immediately pressed his warm body against your own, pulling you tight to his chest.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” you said with a slight giggle.
“I can’t believe it took us this long,” Rhett retorted, fingers dancing along your spine.
You both laughed a little before it fell silent once again.
“Rhett?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“What does this make us?” You asked as you ran your fingers through the thick chest hair.
“Well… I think this means you’ll be sleeping in my bed when we get home. But don’t call HR on me.”
“You are HR, Rhett. Seriously, though. Are we like-“
“I want you to be my girl. I have spent the past several months falling in love with you. And I know it’s soon, but damn it, darlin’. You’ve stolen my heart,” Rhett confessed, his words causing your eyes to well with tears.
“Rhett… I- I love you, too.”
“The girls are going to be excited. They’ve been begging me to ask you to be my girlfriend since you moved in.”
“They’re trouble, I swear,” you laughed, snuggling closer to your man.
“They’re the reason I have all of this gray hair.”
“Yeah, but it’s hot. Very… very… very hot,” you responded, emphasizing the T. You giggled as he rolled over on top of you and started kissing against your neck playfully.
You kissed each other softly in the dark until you fell asleep holding each other tight. And when the sun rose in the morning, a new beginning would be awaiting you.
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tagging those who may be interested:
@ryebecca @whisperofsong @floydsmuse @laracrofted @lewmagoo @withahappyrefrain @hangmanapologist @sebsxphia @bobfloydsbabe @callsign-magnolia @attapullman
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y'all are lucky i have finals and can't watch tua for at least two more weeks bc NOBODY. is prepared for the person I'll become once i have klaus hargreeves back on my screen
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mcflymemes · 8 days
Text
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST *  assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary
even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.
trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.
i love you. it's ruining my life.
does it feel all right to not know me?
i am who i am 'cause you trained me.
quick. tell me something awful.
i loved you the way that you were.
we were just kids, babe.
i can fix him.
you and i go from one kiss to getting married.
you said i'm the love of your life.
way up there, i actually love it.
i just don't understand how you don't miss me.
do you hate me?
did you think i had it in me?
what if i told you i'm back?
i still miss the smoke.
i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.
you look like stevie nicks.
it's hell on earth to be heavenly.
i still can't believe it.
this happens once every few lifetimes.
didn't you hear? they called it all off.
it's happening again.
my friends say it isn't right to be scared.
i might just die.
fuck you if i can't have us.
tell me about the first time you saw me.
are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?
no one's ever had me... not like you.
stay away from her.
there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.
i don't think you've changed much.
that's where i was when i lost it all.
life was always easier on you than it was on me.
i hoped you'd return.
do you believe me now?
what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?
what are the chances you'd be downtown?
is it something i did?
oh, we must stop meeting like this.
they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.
i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.
looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.
the story isn't mine anymore.
what a charming saturday!
none of it is changing.
wild winds are death to the candle.
one bad seed kills the garden.
i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.
this place made me feel worthless.
i didn't want to come down.
everything had been above board.
blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.
you can mark my words that i said it first.
the professor said to write what you know.
all of this to say, i hope you're okay.
your words are still just ringing in my head.
i built a legacy which you can't undo.
who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?
the effects were temporary.
no, i'm not coming to my senses.
babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.
you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.
i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.
thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.
you're a professional.
long may you reign.
you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.
now i seem to be scared to go outside.
i don't believe in good luck.
i hate it here.
if i'd been there, i'd hate it.
only the gentle survived.
i'm lonely, but i'm good.
you have no room in your dreams for regrets.
i thought it was just goodbye for now.
are you still a mind reader?
let it once be me.
i haven't decided yet.
i still dream of him.
i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.
it was always the same searing pain.
i can't forgive the way you made me feel.
it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.
she used to say she wished that you were dead.
tell me all your secrets.
they tried to warn you about me.
you're in terrible danger.
i'm the life you chose.
yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.
no one asks any questions here.
tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.
i'm running back home to you.
you should see your faces.
you knew the price going in.
was any of it true?
who the fuck was that guy?
i don't ever want you back.
did you sleep with a gun underneath out bed?
you don't get to tell me you feel bad.
you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
am i allowed to cry?
there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.
they're going to crucify me anyway.
i know i'm just repeating myself.
that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.
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norizz-nation · 6 months
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Phonesex with charles
Oooh that's something quite fun 😮‍💨
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Thinking about you all day ❤️
Summary: charles was away for work, for the mexican gran prix. the distance was starting to torture you as you became more and more needy for his touch, so you decided to call him
Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink
At first you thought you could easily spend your days with him. But somehow the days went slower. Your shared apartment with him seemed so small somehow. But you clearly dont wanna bother your boyfriend who must be very busy right now. You just stopped yourself from calling him. What if he gets mad about it? What if he finds it silly? You were just staring blankly at the tv as you kept on overthinking about it. Suddenly your ringtone cut you off as you flinched and saw charles’ name pop up.
“Hey honey..” charles called out sounding so tired but yet happy that he got to call you. “Hey charles. Hows it going? Today’s qualifying was amazing! Im so proud of you!” You said as you smiled and you could feel your smile just plastered to your face. “Thank you baby and yeah im doing good. How are things with you? Is everything alright?” He asked as you said nothing for a moment. “What is it baby?” Charles asked, his voice sounding so concerned. “No-nothing charles” you said. “Stop lying, there is something wrong. Tell me” his voice was demanding. Ordering you to tell the truth. “Charles I… I miss you” you said as you looked down, upset about the fact that he’s not here but also scared about the fact that he might think you’re being a baby. “Aweh baby, i miss you too. I’ve been thinking about you all day. So much. I miss your touch.” He said as you smiled a little. “I miss your touch too” you said.
“How much do you miss it baby?” Charles asked and you could guess what he meant by that as you smirked a little saying “so much that im getting wet just by your voice on the phone” you could hear Charles’ breath getting stiff. “I miss you so much daddy” you whined out as your fingers went down to your shorts. You let out a soft moan as you could feel your wet folds. “God, your voice sounds so sweet baby.” Charles said as you squirmed at your own touch. “Louder baby. Let me hear your sweet little noises” charles’ words really pushed you over the edge as you could hear charles’ breathing getting heavier. “Daddy are you hard right now?” You asked, your voice so whiny. “Yes baby, fuck. Im so hard just by your voice” charles said breathlessly. “I wish your mouth were wrapped around my dick, making it all slippery by your spit” charles’ voice was deep and you knew that he was jerking himself off to you. This whole situation made you go closer to your orgasm. “Fuck im so wet for you daddy, s-so wet” you said as you kept on circling your clit for the friction you’ve been wanting.
Your breathing got heavier as your whole body started to shake as you felt your orgasm rush in. You circled your clit harder “f-fuck d-daddy oh im cumming nghh” you screamed out as you heard charles’ whimpering which meant that he came too. “Fuck baby, I’ve came a lot, i know you wanna swallow my cum right now. Dont worry I’ll be there soon” he said as he giggled and you did too. “I love you daddy” you said as you smiled at the ceiling letting your head fall back. “I love you too baby” charles said as he took a deep breath. “But now i gotta clean this mess by myself” charles said as you laughed. “Do it just this time. I promise to do it for you the rest of the time” you said giggling.
A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️
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aliaology · 6 months
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NOW THAT WE DONT TALK
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summary: jack realizes yns music is quite literally a call out, directed towards him, and his brothers egg it on. pt.3
series masterlist
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“i called my mom, she said ‘that it was for the best!’ remind myself the more i gave, you’d want me less”
jack could’ve hit his head against the counter ten more times and the song would still be ringing through his ears like a splinter that wouldn’t come out of his hand.
quinns hand made contact with the back of jacks head. “knock it off, jack.”
jack groaned, shoving his head into his arms. he groaned again, this time the noise being muffled due to the his arm. “she wrote a song about me, quinn.”
quinn rolled his eyes. “you don’t know its about you” he told.
jack scoffed, head shooting up. “she literally called me out. the parties, that stupid red sea reference, even the chorus. its so obviously me. and then her newer single that dropped thirty minutes ago?’
quinn shrugged, “could be about trevor”
jack rolled his eyes, “no way in hell, quinn. they never hooked up and her newer one is about some guy hooking up with her later on—“
“you sound obsessed, jack.” quinn told. jack looked down, embarrassed.
“whats jack obsessed with?” trevor asked, walking inside the kitchen. he stole a grape from jack and popped it into his mouth.
“y/n’s song” quinn spoke.
trevor scoffed, “why are you so hung up on it? its just music.” trevor shrugged.
“hes upset because hes getting called out.”
jack groaned again, head hitting the counter.
quinn rolled his eyes again. “you’ve gotta stop doing that dude. listen— she probably made these ages ago and just now got to releasing them.”
trevor popped another grape in his mouth. “not too sure about that, but i know she started writing them when you two broke up.”
luke slowly walks in. “seriously? you guys are torturing the man talking about his ex.”
jack nods, signifying lukes words to be true.. luke goes into the cupboard to grab a plate. “just ignore it.” he shrugged.
trevor snorted. jack sent the boy a glare, causing his laughter to abruptly stop. “how can i just ignore it? shes getting big and her music is everywhere already.” he asked.
quinn gave him a look. “then face it, jack. you can’t keep putting yourself in denial for something you caused.”
jack let out an exasperated groan for the 100th time. “gee, thanks quinn. way to make me feel better.”
“dont start giving him shit, jack.” luke spoke.
jack rolled his eyes. “whatever, im going to my room.” he got up and went for the stairs.
all three boys looked around at each other. silence fell through the room. suddenly, the sliding door opens. “whats going on?” cole asked.
“quinn picked his side of the argument.” trevor spoke, slightly glaring at quinn.
quinn gave one back, “dont act innocent, trevor. you screwed her over too. you and jack need to own up to it and stop cowering like little kids. you are both in your twenties for fucks sake. grow up.”
quinn went off to his room, leaving a wide eyed group of boys behind.
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jacks brows furrowed as he listened to the song in his earbuds. his girlfriend napped next to him as he sat up on the bed. he hates to admit it, but he kinda deserved this.
“lets fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later. if shes got blue eyes, i will surmise that you’ll probably date her. you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor, you search in every model—“
he stopped the song, taking his earbuds out and tossing them to the floor. he cheated, and now was dating the girl he cheated with. it was sad, really.
fiona, she was a woman who loved money. jack, was a man who loved attention. maybe that’s why they were together. but she wasn’t horrible like people said, right?
quietly, he went to tik tok and made a fake account, that way she knew he didn’t stalk her profile. i mean— she has no idea he even uses it still.
jack searched fionas name up, ultimately clicking on her profile. she had one video up. he clicked on it.
ick ick ick ick
she was lip syncing that really terrible audio that went ‘he chose me, he dont want you. he chose me’ and honestly, jack was appalled.
but before he could open the comments, she started to wake up. he swiped out of the app and deleted it, tossing his phone to the side afterwards.
“hey baby.” he smiled.
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now that we dont talk!
tags! @honethatty12 (if u want tags, just ask <3)
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brooooswriting · 6 months
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Reasons
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Natasha Romanoff x reader (Angst to fluff)
Set after black widow movie, talk of the red room, torture etc.
A/n: I haven’t written for Nat in a while but this came up in my head and I couldn’t stop myself.
“I promise she's cheating on me” Natasha whined to Clint who sat on his bed, ice pack on his knees after a long mission. He was gone for about 2 months meaning that Nat couldn’t talk to him, so she kept her problems inside until he came back.
“Nat, she loves you. Why the hell would she cheat on you?” He asks groaning, you only ever had eyes for her. Even before your three years relationship, all you ever saw was Natasha.
And it was true, you loved her more than your own life. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for her, you would destroy yourself for her which is what you were doing at the moment.
You barely left your lab at the moment, constantly being locked up in there with your new lab assistant, Sarah. Tony hired her for you and the redhead hated her the moment she met her, she was trying to steal you from her and her suspicions confirmed when you locked away with her.
“I promise you it’s Sarah, she’s stealing my girlfriend. I bet they are doing it right now” by now she couldn’t even hold back her tears, they were streaming down her face wildly. Clint sat up and wrapped her up in a hug to calm her down.
“How about this, try to get her to talk tonight no matter how late and if she doesn’t wanna talk, if she’s ignoring it. Go to bed and end it in the morning” the archer said, his hand stroking her back while she nodded into the crook of his neck.
That night at 2 a.m you finally came back to your room. The day has been exhausting and you couldn’t wait to lay behind Nat and cuddle into her, you missed her terribly but everything you did, you did for her. What you didn’t expect was your girlfriend awake sitting in your bed with her upper body against the headrest. “What are you doing awake love? It’s late” you whispered as if you could wake somebody up as you got rid of your shoes.
“Yeah, it is late and you haven’t been back at dinner time again! Where were you?!” She hissed at you, the glare making you cower.
“In my lab, I’ve been working” you explained with a soft smile changing into your pjs to finally go to bed.
“I wonder with who. Let me guess Sarah was there too huh?” The moment she said your lab assistants name her voice was filled with venom. She’s always had a problem with the blonde and you never knew why.
“Yeah, that’s what she gets paid for. Can we not talk about this right now? I wanna sleep, with you in my arms” you mumbled as you move towards her, crawling under the blanket.
“Stay away! You don’t wanna talk about it, fine. You do not touch me” she gritted out, turning away from you. You sighed, you really wish you could tell her but you couldn’t. Not yet. So you turned towards her, not touching her. Just starting at her back as you fell asleep.
The next morning you were gone when she was awake so she got Clint and started packing her things. You weren’t gonna come back until late at night and until then she’d be gone. She’d move into Clint’s room until she figured out what else to do.
What she didn’t expect was for you to come back to your room at 9 a.m with flowers in hand. “Nat? What’s going on? Why are you packing your stuff?” You questioned, flowers still in hand when she glared at you.
“We are over. Go fuck with Sarah, I mean, y/n be honest. This is what you wanted! You cheat, you loose me. I’m doing what you didn’t have the balls for. I’m ending this. I hope you’re happy with her” she spit out, speed walking past you. You were about to follow her but Clint stood in your way, blocking your path.
“Clint, come on. I gotta follow her” you said, trying to push past him but he refused. “Barton, you know I wouldn’t cheat on her” you tried again but no luck.
“I thought the same but now? Now I want you to stay away from her” he said pushing you back a bit. You took that as a sign to leave, turning to go back to your lab, the flowers thrown on the floor.
You came back to the lab with tears streaming down your face, anger fuming inside of you. “Are you alright y/n? You didn’t wanna be back unt- oh, you’re crying” Sarah said, coming over with a tissue.
“I’m good, I-I’m managing. Natasha broke up with me” there was a moment of silence. While Sarah was desperately afraid of the redhead, she still thought the two of you were the cutest couple she knows.
“Do- do you wanna stop all this?” She asked carefully, gesturing towards your project. After a second of silence you spoke up again.
“No, no. This isn’t just for her. This can help thousand of others too. So let’s finish this alright? How long is this going to take? Half a day max. We made it too far to stop” you explained as you stood up.
After 7 hours 98% of the tests came back positive making you break out in tears again. Sarah gave you a smile and pulled you into a hug to comfort you. “You did it y/n/n” she cheered you on, her arms still around you.
“Y/- oh my god. So what Nat said was true?! You cheated on her? With the woman Tony paid for you?” Steve growled as he walked in on you and Sarah hugging causing you to abruptly pull back. It was amazing how fast words spread in this tower because from the moment Steve left after screaming it took about 15 minutes for a fuming Wanda to come down to your lab, eyes glowing red and Yelena behind her.
“You’re dead Y/n Y/l/n” the widows sister called out and you could already feel Wanda’s energy radiating around you. This was gonna be your end. No question.
“No, wait. Please. I promise on my life that I didn’t cheat” you whimpered out as you were lifted into the air. Sarah stood in shock as you were thrown against a wall. “Wanda! Come on. Take my hand, you can feel if I’m telling the truth” the two women looked at each other for a second before Yelena nodded at the witch. So she approached your form that was sitting on the ground, leaning on the wall you were thrown against.
She took another of your hands, a red glow started to engulf them as she gave you a nod. “I never cheated on Nat, never have never will” you said looking at the woman in front of you.
“She’s telling the truth” Wanda confirmed, pulling you up as your hands were still connected.
“But then what is all of this? Why did you pull away from her? Why’d you do this?” Yelena asked desperately, in her mind she could still hear Natasha cry.
“I can’t explain right now, give me two more hours. In two hours send Nat down here please” you looked at Yelena especially, knowing that she was the one who could convince her sister to do this.
“Why?” Was the only thing you were met with. You sighed, this was gonna be complicated.
“I can’t tell you Yelena, Tasha sees right through you. I can’t have that happen, not after I nearly destroyed our relationship because of it” you explained, tears welling up in your eyes at the thought of your shattered relationship.
“Then no can do” was the answer you received, making you groan. You should have guessed that this wasn’t gonna be easy.
“How about I tell Wanda and she can tell you if it’s worth it or now” after Yelena agreed you leaned forward and whispered into the witches ear, her heart melting at what you told her. Once her eyes were brimming with tears she pulled back and nodded to Yelena.
“She’ll be here in exactly two hours” were the last words the woman spoke before they disappeared.
“Well, now quick” Sarah laughed and you two started to work with full speed.
“You know I might have to fire you right? To save my relationship” you mumbled as you read through the latest updates F.R.I.D.A.Y ran for you, making small changes.
“I know and it’s alright. I’d do the same thing if I ever love someone as much as you love her. I mean I’d be happy if you don’t have to but I get it. Oh, and I ordered flowers, Champaign and chocolate for the two of you” she smiled as she read through some of the statistics.
“I hope so too but I’d do anything for her”
Two hours later the lights were dimmed, the champagne was in the fridge and chocolate on the side table. You were changed into a trouser and a top instead of an oversized shirt and joggers. Now you were just waiting for the love of your life.
“You better have a really good reason to have Yelena get me down here!” Her voice could be heard before she could be seen. Her eyes were a bit red, her voice a bit rough and her posture everything but relaxed.
“I do, I wanna tell you and show you what I’ve been doing down here. Because it definitely wasn’t cheating, love” she tensed up even more at the nickname making you cringe. It was a habit after two years.
“Don’t call me that” was the only answer you received.
“Okay. Im sorry. Do you remember our mission 8 months ago? After you ended the red room and one of our enemies decided to- you know?”
“Yeah”
Flashback
“And what do you think the world would say about all of this, huh? Black widow. What would they say about your graduation ritual and the training you went through? What would she say?” He pointed at you. Before either of you could do anything, something was attached to both of your heads and suddenly you saw everything through Natasha’s eyes.
“Nooo, please don’t. Please!! I promise this won’t distract me” young Natasha screamed and suddenly you felt a sharp pain at your left cheek. The man had slapped you hard enough to make your head turn.
“You will sit through this and you’ll remember this pain every damn time you disobey me or get distracted” the man said and suddenly you were strapped to an O.R. Table, your stomach was cut open with barely any medication making you scream in pain. Somewhere there you blacked out from the pain. When you woke up again there was a jar in front of you, everything they pulled out of you was in that jar.
“You’re now a widow. This will remind you that you are nothing more than that” was the last thing you remembered before Steve finally saved you.
To say that the two of you weren’t okay after that for a while wasn’t a surprise to anyone. You hung onto each other, mostly staying in your room always having some kind of physical contact. There was a lot of crying, a lot sleeping and a lot of mental pain. After a while things went back to normal.
“What about that?” She finally asked, shaking the memory of the mission off.
“After that I couldn’t stop thinking about it, about what they took from you, about through how much pain you went and how broken you looked when you told me that you can’t have kids. Something you’ve always wished for” you had planed the whole speech for about a month now but you were still nervous and the fact that Natasha was mad at you didn’t make it easier.
“So what? You called me down here to make me live through all that again?” She hissed and you had to hold an eye roll back.
“No, I didn’t. And you remember when we had to foster that 6 year old girl 5 months ago?”
“Yeah, Mia. We kept her for 3 weeks, she was cute” the redhead said, looking at her feet.
“No matter how many times you’ve told me that you didn’t need to have kids and that you were fine I couldn’t help but not believe you. I want you to be happy and I would do everything for you which is why I was down here. Constantly.” You explained further hoping that she’d look at you again.
“And you thought cheating on me would make me happy?” You took a second to take a deep breath before you stretched out your hand.
“I didn’t cheat. Please give me the benefit of the doubt and let me show you. Please, I’ve been working on this for months, for you.”
Your pleading tone was what made her give in and carefully take your hand as you pulled her along to oke of your microscopes, gently pushing her in front of you. She took that as a sign to look into it as you stood behind her, one hand on her waist. “What am I looking at?” She asked rather bored, not having any interest in the scientific stuff at the moment.
“Something that will involve into this” you told her as you pulled her further into your lab where she saw a hologram from an uterus. “This is a “
“I know what this is y/n” this time she rolled her eyes as she looked at the hologram.
“You kinda do, but not really. This is a uterus I made, it’s made from Stem cells and I can plant it into anybody, there it can keep growing to the point where it is a part of them and they’ll be able to have kids. I mean right now I specified it to the way the red room removed them but I could change that. This might not fix the world but I hope that it will help thousands of women who had to suffer like you did. And I hope it helps you” your voice was shaky at the end of your monologue. To some it may have seemed as if you were just out of breath but the redhead knew you better, she knew that it were your emotions that got a hold of you.
“Wh-What does that mean?” She asked, her voice trembling and her eyes glossy as one hand rested on her stomach. The spy was anything but stupid so you knew that she got what you said but she just didn’t wanna believe it.
“It means that after the treatment you can be a mother, Natasha and I just know that you’ll be the best mom ever”
Silence. That’s all there was for a long moment. The second you realized that she wasn’t going to say something about it you took the turn you hoped you wouldn’t need. “I mailed Bruce the instructions so he can do the treatment with you. The first few days after the treatment you might be very emotional, so make sure the team is there for you or your future partner. Every detail is in the files, they’re under your name, the code is your birthday. If you don’t want Bruce to do it with you I left a document with names of people who would do it with you” you told her as you tapped on one of the tablets.
“More”
“What?” You asked as you tried to piece her word together with that she meant.
“Show me More” you nodded and led her to another corner of your lab.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y. open Natasha 3.1 alpha” you told the A.I who immediately started. A picture of a blonde woman showing on one of the screens, her stomach showing a small bump. “This is Alia, she was a widow too, she escaped just like you. She wanted to have child for a while, but they didn’t let her adopt. Not everybody could wipe the blood out is what they told her, so I told her that I could try this on her, she could be the first one. She’s 4 months pregnant now and the baby looks awesome” you told her, watching her as she stared at the screen.
“How’d you find her?” Natasha asked as she skipped through the pictures you had of the woman, stopping at the ultrasound. Her mouth slightly ajar.
“Your mother hooked me up once I told her about my project” you explained walking to stand behind her slightly to the left so you could look over her shoulder.
“You talk to my mother?” You could see her surprised look through the screen making you chuckle.
“Yeah, I talk to your whole family”
“Even though they make fun of your Russian and are extremely exhausting?” She asked, slightly turning her head.
“Well, they’re important to you so that meant that they’re important to me too. And I hoped for them to become my family too one day so” you explained giving her a small smile as you stepped back. “F.R.I.D.A.Y Next please” you said as Natasha turned around to you.
Suddenly the room got darker and soft music started to play, better said Nats favorite music making you freeze.
“Congratulations on finally telling her miss y/l/n. Here are your things” F.R.I.D.A.Y presented the champagne, the chocolate, the flowers and a small ring box making Natasha’s heart skip a beat.
“No, F.R.I.D.A.Y. wrong document” you rushed out but the damage was already done as you saw Nat focus on the box. “I’m so sorry, I’ll get this out of your way. I didn’t plan it like this. Shit” you rambled and kicked a carton that was on the ground out of pure frustration.
“Y-you wanted to marry me?” She mumbled as she watched your back while you tried to gather your thoughts.
“Want” was the only thing you said as you turned to see the redhead with the box in her hand. “I wanted to marry you immediately after that mission 8 months ago just to reassure you that I wasn’t leaving but I thought that that might have given the wrong impression. I was scared that you would have felt pressured to say yes”
“You did all of this for me?” She asked still trying to comprehend everything that happened. You gave her a timid nod, shoving your hands in your front pockets. “And you didn’t stop once I broke up with you?” This time you shook your head no, with a small smile. “I’m an idiot aren’t I?” She asked with a sad smile. You shrugged before shaking your head no.
“No, no matter how good my intentions were I neglected you and made you feel bad about yourself, something I promised to never do so it’s on me. But if you let me I’d like to make it up to you” you couldn’t comprehend the fact that the spy was running into your arms full speed until your ass met the ground with her on top of you. She grinned down at you before pressing her lips to yours. “I’m guessing that’s an I can?” She nodded before kissing you again.
Once you were back on your feet you could see all the avengers and Sarah standing at your door. “Ask her” Sarah mumbled but you quickly shook your head making her frown. “Do it now, or I’ll do it for you” she threatened making you flip her off before getting the box.
“I know this might not be the best moment and I actually planned all of this very very differently but that doesn’t change that you’re the love of my life and no matter if you want a family or not, I want you for the rest of my life. Natasha Alianovna Romanoff will you marry me?” You asked after you got down on one knee in front of her. Her mouth hung open as you opened the box, tears streaming from her eyes.
“Yes, yes” she mumbled over and over again as she knocked you on the ground again causing everybody to laugh.
With a big smile you slid the ring on her finger and holding her hand up for your audience to see who applauded. “I love you Natasha” you mumbled into the kiss you had shared.
“I love you too”
———————————————————————————
The next day Nat got her treatment, Wanda holding her hand while you worked as careful as you could. You two decided that you’d get married, than help some widows and then you’d get pregnant and you couldn’t wait. Tony was nice enough to sponsor the whole project, ‘your wedding gift’ as he said. That was also the first time Nat hugged him.
“There, we are all done love” you said as you discarded your gloves and walked up to her to press a soft kiss to her lips.
“This is the beginning of the rest of our lives” she smiled at you making you grin. You couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with this woman.
“I love you”
“I love you too”
“About Sarah…”
“You can keep her y/n, I get it I misinterpreted things” she grumbled as she cuddled into your arms making it clear that you were supposed to carry her upstairs.
You were already loving the clinginess that came with the treatment.
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