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#i figured it would be less redundant this way but i don't know what is preferable. thanks! :)]

caparrucia · 1 year

Text

Full offense and pun fully intended, but I genuinely think the very existence of "dead dove, do not eat" was a fucking canary in the mines, and no one really paid attention.

Because the tag itself was created as a response to a fandom-wide tendency to disregard warnings and assume tagging was exaggerated. And then the same fucking idiots reading those tags describing things they found upsetting or disturbing or just not to their taste would STILL click into the stories and give the writer's grief about it.

And as a response writers began using the tag to signal "no, really, I MEAN the tags!"

But like.

If you really think about it, that's a solution to a different problem. The solution to "I know you tagged your story appropriately but I chose to disregard the tags and warnings by reading it anyway, even though I knew it would upset me, so now I'm upset and making it your problem" is frankly a block, a ban and wide-spread blacklisting. But fandom as a whole is fucking awful at handling bad faith, insidious arguments that appeal to community inclusion and weaponize the fact most people participating in fandom want to share the space with others, as opposed to hurting people.

So instead of upfront ridiculing this kind of maladaptive attempt to foster one's own emotional self-regulation onto random strangers on the internet, fandom compromised and came up with a redundant tag in a good faith attempt to address an imaginary nuance.

There is no nuance to this.

A writer's job is to tag their work correctly. It's not to tag it exhaustively. It's not even to tag it extensively. A writer's sole obligation, as far as AO3 and arguably fandom spaces are concerned, is to make damn sure that the tags they put on their story actually match whatever is going on in that story.

That's it.

That's all.

"But what if I don't want to read X?" Well, you don't read fic that's tagged X.

"But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X.

"But that's not a lot of fic!" Hi, you must be new here, yes, welcome to fandom. Most of our spaces are built explicitly as a reaction to There's Not Enough Of The Thing I Want, both in canon and fandom.

"But there are things on the internet that I don't like!" Yeah, and they are also out there, offline. And, here's the thing, things existing even though we personally dislike or even hate or even flat out find offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable existing is the price we pay to secure our right to exist as individuals and creators, regardless of who finds US personally unpleasant, hateful or flat out offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable.

"But what about [illegal thing]?!" So the thing itself is illegal, because the thing itself has been deemed harmful. But your goddamn cop-poisoned authoritarian little heart needs to learn that sometimes things are illegal that aren't harmful, and defaulting to "but illegal!" is a surefire way to end up on the wrong side of the fascism pop quiz. You're not a figure of authority and the more you demand to control and exercise authority by command, rather than leadership, the less impressive you seem. You know how you make actual, genuine change in a community? You center harm and argue in good faith to find accommodations and spread awareness of real, actual problems.

But let's play your game. Let's pretend we're all brainwashed cop-abiding little cogs that do not own a single working brain cell to exercise critical thinking with. 99% of the time, when you cry about any given thing "being illegal!!!" you're correct only so far as the THING itself being illegal. The act or object is illegal. Depiction of it is not. You know why, dipshit? Because if depiction of the thing were illegal, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You wouldn't be able to educate about it. You wouldn't be able to reexamine and discuss and understand the thing, how and why and where it happens and how to prevent it. And yeah, depiction being legal opens the door for people to make depictions that are in bad taste or probably not appropriate. Sure. But that's the price we pay, creating tools to demystify some of the most horrific things in the world and support the people who've survived them. The net good of those tools existing outweighs the harm of people misusing them.

"You're defending the indefensible!" No, you're clumsily stumbling into a conversation that's been going on for centuries, with your elementary school understanding of morality and your bone-deep police state rot filtering your perception of reality, and insisting you figured it out and everyone else at the table is an idiot for not agreeing with you. Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and read a goddamn book.

#shut up rie

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lilacsareinbloomagain · 6 months

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Yandere time and hyrule headcannons

I'm not sure if you've seen the hype around sky being in his undershirt and being ✨pretty✨ in the recent update, but could I please request reader fawning over Yan!sky in his undershirt or some general hc's for him?

Thank you both for requesting!

Notes: I wasn't that online on tumblr around that time, so I only saw it now lmao.

Anyway, I did both headcannons and a oneshot, hope you'll like it!

Also, yes, I merged those two requests since headcannons can be piled into the same post.

I'll probably sound redundant in a lot of these, simply because I didn't write this at one go and when I got to it again I may have forgotten that I wrote it before. My memory is not the best, forgive me.

There are more headcannons for Time because he's my favorite, sorry.

I need a master list, seriously.

Edited before sleeping, I'm sleepy and probably messed up one or two paragraphs of this.

The oneshot in question.

TWs: Yanderism, Mentions of food and bad eating habits and a little of my fairy/fae brain rot.

Don't mind grammatical errors, please!

Headcannons for yandere Sky, Time and Hyrule.

Yandere! Lu! Sky x Reader

For starters, Sky is sweet, but he is very manipulative.

Therefore, don't be surprised if you notice you stopped doing many of the things you used to do when you first got through the portal.

Most of the time it's not even bad things!

He might team up with Hyrule and Wild to take care of your main health, like eating habits. If you're a picky eater then expect Sky to slowly transition you into eating a little bit of everything, in no time you'll be eating like Wild does.

Then again, he'll also make sure to get the ingredients to the foods you do eat without struggling, also getting Wild to make a separate meal for you, should you not eat that one specific recipe Wild made for dinner.

You'll probably be getting help from him when it comes to self-care habits as well, like, the max of skin care and hair care you can get at Hyrule. He will make the effort to talk to people who know more about your skin and hair type, those who have it and take care of it well.

But, we can't ignore the genuinely bad things he will try to influence you into doing...

Privacy? Gone.

Not only will he be around you most if not all of the time, but he will also always be paying close attention to you and what you're doing.

So if you believed keeping a journal in your language would help you keep some things to yourself, then think again. The privacy of using your language instead of hyrulean to write in your jornal will soon turn into a mere illusion. Despite being more quiet and seemingly the less imposing of the Links, Sky has already gone, and will keep going through lengths for you, which includes learning the language you use.

Of course he noticed you kept a private journal, and despite you trying to lie about the contents of it, it's only a matter of time until he is skillfully scanning through the pages with his eyes like he's reading his favorite book. Memorizing any and all information he can find about you.

As manipulative as he is, he is also delusional, he doesn't have any idea of what he is doing, he simply doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong on so many levels.

He's not doing anything on purpose, he's just trying to protect you and get you to like him, like a normal guy!! At least, Zelda liked it when he did this with her back then, just how different are you two?

Genuinely, Sky would have a hard time figuring you and your emotions out. You're a human being after all, and he respects that those things are not supposed to be easy to figure out. In fact, he highly respects and appreciates that you're complex.

Not that he'll respect boundaries, nope, no way.

You're a puzzle he's very much looking forward to figuring out. Honestly, the only puzzle he'd ever want to figure out.

So, I'll probably elaborate this later, but the chain as Gods. Sky would be very much a Thor. That means silly blonde lightening man.

Imagine hylians from Sky's era used matching earrings alike engagement rings, like, Sky just randomly inviting you to an overly nice picnic, just to hand you blue earings just like his.

And if you don't have your ears pierced anywhere it'd be even better in his eyes, since he'd just adjust it to be a "normal" ring.

It was actually an engagement ring, but you didn't know that, or any of the other Links, really, since this tradicional custom got lost in time.

Yandere! Lu! Time x Reader

I think pretty much everyone knows Time is a teasing bastard.

Don't get me wrong, he can be pretty mature, but trust me, it's not really common for him to act like that.

Time is used to pretending, he used many different masks to become different races in his journey, that was needed from him at the time, the same way that being the mature one is being needed from him right now.

Just because he is deeply traumatized emotionally and physically from his job as a hero doesn't mean his personality is lost as well.

It didn't change that much since he was a child, not really.

He is addicted to making you flustered, so if you get flustered easily I'm sorry for you.

If making you blush is a challenge then I'm just as sorry for you, because Time isn't quite known for giving up easily.

And he's good at making people embarrassed, too.

The amount of women who were in love with him is everything I need as proof.

But the worst part? He doesn't have bad pick up lines.

Look, Time is a toucher, so yes, his love language is physical touch, that makes sense to me.

That doesn't mean only cuddling, of course, it can mean cuddling and hugging when you're alone, but do expect a few more things.

I was gonna say hand holding in public, especially in crowded places, but you know what? Guiding you by holding the back of your neck is simply easier to him, and a lot more obvious "back off!" to strangers who look at you for far too long.

Also, randomly leaning against you, the two of you may be just walking and suddenly you feel a large mass lightly leaning against your own body, almost making you stumble. you might just be standing in front of the dinner table, reading a recipe book and once again you just feel that familiar presence right behind you, but instead of hugging you from behind he's just there, like he is reading the book along with you.

Remember how you were reading that one recipe book? Well he might give it a try and help you make something in the kitchen just to spend time with you. Like, you're just pouring ingredients in a bowl and he's there "helping" you by wrapping his arm around your waist to give you "emotional support", as he calls it.

He is, in reality, just standing there watching you cook, trying his best to resist the urge to distract you and simply annoy you, because he is still trying to make it seem like he is a mature, grown man, and definitely not one who is eyeing the flour in his reach and thinking about launching a handful of it at you.

You did see his hand slowly reaching for the flour in the corner of your vision. He only stopped once you threatened to scoop out his remaining eye should even a speck of flour hit your face.

Yet, Time is a creative man, flour was only one of his plans.

He's got wandering hands and wandering lips. And he can and will make use of those just to distract you.

And that's how Time became banned from the kitchen when you were the one cooking, only being able to join you for cleaning later.

So yeah, his love language is physical touch, but it is also disturbance.

In that matter, he's not very different from Wind when you two are alone. If you ignore his flirtatious moves, that is. But he's quite different when you two are with the others, especially if you've done, or is doing something to annoy him, then he has to keep up that mature facade of his.

He believes the others won't take him seriously should he reveal his actual personality, so really, when you're around others you'll only get glimpses of it from time to time.

It is mandatory from the Links to be stubborn, but Time takes the cake.

Maybe it is his age, but he will never change his mind, ever. No point in arguing.

So when he is silly, he is silly, but when he is serious he is terrifying, no exaggeration.

The worst part is that older people have a lot of respect in Hyrule, so no matter what he says, his word is law.

Now, don't get me wrong, by now, pet names are just a thing Time always does with you, in a way you barely hear your own name coming from his lips unless he's being really serious about something.

But actual words of affirmation? Not his thing.

He'd much rather be as clingy as glue to you when you're alone.

But, not like Sky's soft, light cuddles. Time Will basically smother you.

Seriously, it may be his sheer muscle mass, but he'll drap himself over you in a way you'll feel yourself surrounded by him.

In fact, the first time he did it you probably almost suffocated.

You'll get used to it eventually, though. Hopefully.

He's pontual and very strict as well, he and Hyrule are probably gonna be bickering in most matters involving you, like, for example, "five more minutes" naps.

Don't even try to trick him, you'll hear stuff like "I was your age once" and shit, the man will act like he's a hundred years old or something.

Then again, he might be, after all, he is older in mind than he is in body.

He was forced to mature quicker and went through a lot of trauma, that, and he also had to go back in time a lot of times.

Now that I think about it, he probably lived for longer than your grandparents. Just saying.

Yandere! Lu! Hyrule x Reader

Don't get him wrong, Hyrule is very much full of love, really. He cares about everyone equally.

Yet, as corny as that is, your name isn't "everyone", you're not anyone, you're you, how could he even think about possibly treating you the same way as he treats everyone else?

You're put on a pedestal, everyone else is treated equally by him, except you, you are treated like you are divine and not mortal like he is.

So you'll feel like a toddler 24/7 around Hyrule, he is not as stubborn as Time, he's just… Persistent.

The other Links will find themselves teasing him for it a lot, even if deep inside they are just the same.

Play nice, walk on the line and you'll have a Hyrule at your beck and call. If you know how to do it right, you will be able to use his babying to your own benefit, because trust me, his persistence can work on the Links much more than yours, after all, they trust him for being another Link.

I feel like he'd also help you keep pets, it may be his fairy nature, but he is just good with animals, especially with forest animals. Be them small or big.

Although he definitely has a soft spot for smaller pets, even more if you're the one asking him to bring along a pet you found.

Surprisingly or not, Hyrule is probably one of the most protective Links if you happen to lean more towards the naive/vulnerable side of the spectrum.

It's a general fairy headcannon of mine, but since fairies take care of forest and the animals there, specially the smaller or more vulnerable types of animals, then it's not new for them to be also quite protective towards humans close to them.

Bonus points if they have those traits.

But then again, you're Hyrule's darling, you may be as strong and independent as a Link yourself, but he'll still see you as in need of his care and attention at all times.

That also may or may not be another reason why Hyrule treats you like a toddler.

So yeah, coddling. Lots of it.

Hyrule is also a fan of small things, trinkets. Natural or shiny... Precious or useless... In his eyes all are treasures.

Treasures you'll find your bags and pockets full of.

He is absolutely a rock, cristal guy.

Imagine, you're just walking to another village, and suddenly Hyrule stops walking for a few moments, just to speed walk towards you again just a bit later, cleaning something he is holding in his hands with the help of his sleeve.

Then he hands you a small, clear rock, grinning.

Better get used to this, it's probably gonna happen at least once every day.

So yeah, love language is gift giving and acts of service.

I feel like he's very awkward with words of affirmation, he didn't spend a lot of time saying or hearing those, after all. Like most of the Links.

#yandere x reader #tw: yandere #yandere linked universe #link x reader #linked universe x reader #yandere link x reader #lu sky #lu sky x reader #lu time #lu time x reader #lu hyrule #lu hyrule x reader #yandere lu sky #yandere lu time #yandere lu hyrule

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quitealotofsodapop · 4 months

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Hey Mac, we thought you were dead;

Sequel to this post on Macaque being back in the "Century Stone Egg Au".

After the pregnant Monkey King breaks his shock, he'd run to embrace Macaque, even if he'd just been super close to clawing his eye out (again) and that they're last meeting was a huge fight. He only holds back because he's honestly a little scared/worried how and why Macaque is there. Wukong is immediately trying to apolgise for his violent reaction, but Macaque just laughes out; "Nah, it's my fault. Should've asked first." It's only with the shadow monkeys' breathy, almost *fond* laughter that Wukong realises that Mac is truly there for peace. Mac's interaction with PIF further confirms this.

The reincarnation gang + the dragon couple are super sketched out though. Pigsy is the one to loudly ask "How do you know it's him and not some weird copycat?", mostly cus he's legit worried for Wukong in this moment. Somebody's dead partner don't just show up one day!

Wukong responds with his Gold Vision + its hard to fake the way Mac smells. The gang still refuse to leave the two alone together until they recieve a decent explaination.

The fact that Macaque literally looks like he crawled out of the grave quickly gives everybody a bad feeling, and they def force Mac to sit down and explain how tf he came back to life before he's even allowed smell Wukong.

Macaque: "I may have agreed to do something... kinda stupid in hindsight." Wukong, : "Mac... look at me. What did you do?" Macaque: "...ok don't be mad." Wukong: "I'm preemptively seething." Macaque: "I accepted a deal from the White Bone Spirit." Wukong: "I'M FURIOUS!!!" *starts throwing whatever's closest at Mac* Macaque, dodges a pillow: "Pfff! Calm down, it's not like I'm actually gonna do it! She brought me back to life to release her from a tomb or something and I chucked the key away the second I got back." The whole Room: "..." Wukong: "Mihou... thats the stupidiest thing you could have done!" *summons hair clones to throw stuff at Mac* Macaque, now failing to dodge fruit: "OW! Why are you upset!? We both know nothing good will come of letting that demon free!" PIF: "Mihou, if this Bone Demon was able to bring you back from the dead, then she has the power to track you down and recind her offer." Macaque: "...so you're saying that I have to fufill her deal, or I might get dragged back to Diyu?" Wukong and PIF, at the same time: "YES!!!" Macaque: "Shit." The Whole Room: *covering Red and Mei's ears* "LANGUAGE!!" Tang: "You should work on that before the baby gets here.

Oh you better believe Mac's in the doghouse until they can figure out how to resolve the LBD business deal. PIF calls up her lawyer to go over the exact terms and conditions.

Fire Star: "Ok, I've got good news and bad news." Macaque: "Bad news first." Fire Star: "The Lady Bone Demon's geas is airtight. You will have to open her tomb *slash* free her spirit in order to keep your place in this mortal realm - less you be recalled at a later date for a task of similar value or until she makes you redundant." Pigsy: "Translate for the non-lawyers please." Fire Star: "Either he does it, or she makes him do it, or she just takes his soul." Macaque: "Shit." Wukong & PIF: *glaring daggers at Mac* Macaque: "So what's the good news?" Fire Star, slyly: "Those are the only conditions to the geas. There's a reason you need lawyers for these kind of things nowadays. She didn't stipulate say... where to release her. Or whom would be present to greet her when her tomb opens." Everyone: *shares similar delighted/scheming looks* (*a few hours + a few calls to a worried Nezha later*) Macaque: *unlocks LBD's tomb* LBD: "Freedom! Freedom! Fr-" All of Wukong's allies in the Heavenly Army + Diyu officials:

LBD: "Oh bother."

As the Bone Demon gets carted away for conspiracy to destroy the world, she gets yelled at by all of the Underworld/Diyu officials that now have to deal with the fallout of her actions.

King Yama: "Do you understand how much paperwork I have to do to mark this monkey as alive!? He doesn't have a death date! It's been blotted out! I'll be correcting his files for months!!" Macaque: *high fives Fire Star for the solid lawyer-ing*

As far as Hell/Diyu is concerned, Macaque performed a service and was paid upfront. They don't want the headache of trying to take him back if his mate (someone who's trashed Hell before) wants to keep him.

Wukong is still super-mad at Mac for a variety of reasons, don't get hom wrong. But he's atleast glad in the moment to have his mate back. And glad that LBD is gone for the forseeable future.

#century stone egg au #stone egg talk #pregnancy tw #shadowpeach #sun wukong #liu er mihou #six eared macaque #lmk pif #lmk princess iron fan #lmk pigsy #lmk lbd #lmk s3 spoilers #lmk #lego monkie kid

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saythenametotheworld · 11 months

Text

You Will Find Me

Genre: strangers to lovers; destiny: smut

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x Female Reader

Warnings: lying, mild stalker-y behavior, explicit sexual content (18+), this is not proofread ily

Notes: 20k words, song prompt was You Will Find Me by Alex and Sierra, loosely based on the movie Only You (1994)

Synopsis: Less than a month before your wedding, you answered a call from someone who introduced himself as Johnny Suh—the exact name of the man you believed to be your soulmate. In a spur of the moment decision, you embark on a trip to Italy to meet him, believing that it was fate's way of telling you to fulfill your destiny.

You were a corporate employee, working a 9 to 5 job as an accountant in a big magazine company in your city. You've lived a comfortable life; with a decent job, a nice home, great friendships, and a great boyfriend who popped the question a year into your relationship. Eunwoo is a nice guy—a good doctor, gentlemanly, kind, and well-mannered. Your family adored him and your friends admired him. You met through an acquaintance and after a month of talking, you decided to date. You were happy for the most part. He was everything a girl could ask for and he treated you right. But it felt too easy, redundant sometimes.

After the proposal, you confided in your bestfriend Jihyo that you felt like the whole thing was moving too fast. In a reluctant confession, you revealed that you aren't in love with him enough to imagine getting married and settling down.

"I don't want to jump into this only to end up getting divorced at one point," you had told your friend.

Jihyo told you to follow your heart but she also said Eunwoo was a great guy who loves you. You loved him too and you would have loved to get married but with him, it just felt wrong and it was weird because you have no idea why you felt that way. Jihyo told you to figure it out and talk to him before you make a mistake. But she strongly suggested you work it out with Eunwoo and let him know.

You couldn't bring it up to him, of course. But you were glad he hasn't gone around talking about your engagement yet. You haven't exactly accepted it. You just told him you would think about it. As you laid down on his bed, wrapped snugly in his embrace, you thought about spending the rest of your life with him. The idea seemed nice but a part of you was terrified that you may be making wrong decisions.

"You're awake," Eunwoo asks, nuzzling his nose on your neck.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about us."

"I know it's so sudden. I'd understand if you're not ready yet."

Feeling guilty upon hearing the fall in his voice, you jolted and briskly said, "No, no. I'm fine. Let's do it."

He hummed. "Are you sure? I don't want you to be forced into something you don't want."

"There's no reason not to do it, Woo. And I'm not being forced."

"Really?"

"Sure. Let's get married."

The days have never passed as fast as they did. Suddenly, it was twenty days before your wedding. Most of the preparations were ready. From the venue to the guest list. All there's left to do is send out invitations and pick a dress. Your mother has insisted on a custom-made dress, but you opted for one that is RTW and won your case by insisting that you'll follow your personal preferences in your own personal wedding.

At the salon, Jihyo and your sister came with you to help you pick the dress. You went through arrays of dresses which all looked great. You liked dressing up and so did your friends so you enjoyed the whole thing. But the feeling in the pit of your stomach grew stronger the more clothes you tried on.

"Okay. The tenth dress. Come on out, my sweet. Let's see it," your older sister called out and you stepped out from behind the thick red curtains. Gasps filled the salon, not only from Jihyo and your sister but from the staff as well.

"What? Is it good?" you asked curiously, turning to the mirror to see for yourself. Sure enough, even you ended up gasping at the beautiful image reflected back to you. The dress was breathtaking, looking regal on its own while hugging your figure in the right places. This is it, the Dress.

"My baby sister is getting married!" your sister exclaimed, hugging you from behind as emotions overwhelmed her. "You look amazing, sweetheart."

"She's right, y/n. You're breathtaking! This is it! This is the dress!" Jihyo affirmed, also joining you in front of the mirror.

The compliments may have been great, but you felt your stomach turn the longer you stared at yourself in the mirror. Your breath hitched and you were sure you were about to hyperventilate so you gently pushed them away from you. "Excuse me."

You ran to the bathroom adjacent to the dressing room and started throwing up on the sink. Your girls followed you, as well as a staff who hurriedly offered tissue papers.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" Jihyo asked.

Your sister followed up with another question that made you shake your head. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"No. Heavens, no," you denied. Your birth control never once failed but you touched the part of your arm where the implant was just to make sure that it's still there. "No. No, I'm not."

"Oh, y/n," your sister sighed, holding you as you walked out of the restroom. "You must be so stressed."

She may be right. Stress gets through to you so badly that you'd throw up. But they didn't ask about it until you had left the dress shop and taken a break at a nearby coffee shop.

"You're still second-guessing?" Jihyo questioned while you weakly sipped on some citrusy drink that your sister said would alleviate your nausea.

"Wait, you're not sure about this wedding?"

You shook your head at her and she heaved a deep sigh. "Then why didn't you say so? You should have talked to Eunwoo about it. I'm sure he'll understand."

"I know but," you pushed your drink away and sighed. "I'm not sure if it's because I don't want it or if I'm just overthinking things."

"What's bothering you?"

"I feel like this isn't the right direction to take. I mean, I love Eunwoo but I never really thought this far ahead in our relationship. It seemed so soon and I don't think I'm ready."

Your sister nodded. "Being unprepared is normal. Marriage is a big deal. You can always cancel while it's still early. You're already engaged anyway. The wedding can wait."

You shook your head. "No. It's not the marriage I'm uncertain about. What I meant was that... I don't think I'm ready to marry Eunwoo."

"What?" Your sister gawked at you and then at Jihyo as if to ask if she knew about this.

Jihyo just shrugged and you went on to explain how you feel about the whole thing. You explained how you're not seeing yourself in a family with Eunwoo and how misplaced everything seems to be. "I don't think I even felt like we belonged in the first place. It's awful, I know, considering how we dated until now."

"Baby, I want you to be happy more than anything so whatever this is, talk to Eunwoo about it. I'm sure you'll figure things out. Don't throw it all away yet. If you need time, have some."

"I agree. And whatever happens, you do what makes you happy. Even if it does not include Eunwoo."

At the office the next day, you were in your boss's office to have him sign some paperwork when the secretary's phone started ringing. You left it to keep ringing, knowing you're not supposed to take the calls unless you're the secretary. But it rang again and again for the third time so you decided to pick it up in case it was important.

"Mr. Lee Taeyong's office. How can I help you?"

"Hi. Is Taeyong there right now? He's not picking up his cell and I need to talk to him urgently," replied a deep, manly voice.

You grabbed a pen and a pad of paper from the desk to write with. "He's out for lunch at the moment and he probably left his phone but I can let him know."

"I see. That's fine too. Thank you."

"No problem. Now if you could just give me your name please so I can let him know who called and what for?"

"Johnny Suh. I'm calling for a chat." Your mind went blank upon hearing his name. Suddenly, all your senses were heightened and you could feel goosebumps all over your body.

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch your name. Come again?"

"It's Johnny. Johnny Suh."

You swallowed so hard that your throat hurt. "Your name is Johnny Suh?"

"Yes. We were supposed to meet earlier today but I woke up late and now I have a plane to catch. You know what nice lady, just tell him my name and he'll know to call me back."

"Where are you?" you asked in a high-pitched voice of panic.

"I'm at the airport. Heading to Venice."

"Venice?!" you exclaimed, wondering how far that was from where you are right now.

You heard the man chuckle. "I know. It was unavoidable. But I hope Taeyong understands. Anyway, I got to go. Can I count on you?"

"Yeah! I mean, yes. Yes. I'll... I'll let him know."

"Cool. Thank you so much. Goodbye."

"No, wait wait wait..." but all that ever made it back to you was the beeping tone of the call being hung up.

You placed it carefully back on the desk and took a deep breath. Then you placed your folder of papers on the same desk before you sprinted out of the office back into your own.

You grabbed your phone first and called Jihyo. Luckily she picked up quickly. "I found him!"

"Found who?" she asked from the other line. "I'm sorry but I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"I found Johnny Suh!"

"Remind me how I know a Johnny Suh?"

"Johnny Suh! The guy from the Ouija board!"

"Oh that Johnny Suh! I'm sorry you said you found him?" she asked, now equally excited.

"Yes! He's friends with my boss and he's heading to Italy, right now!"

"Italy? Why Italy?"

"I don't know!" you screamed, the rush of emotions filling you to the brim. You let out a huge sigh and take a quick breathing exercise to calm down. More calmly, you told your friend, "I think this is it. The sign that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Y/n, no."

"Yes. I'm doing it."

"Y/n, this is madness!"

You hung up the phone and started looking through your office computer for plane tickets to Italy.

When you were 12, you were playing Ouija board with your sister and Jihyo during a blackout. You asked it about your soul mate and the board responded with the name Johnny. You thought it was bull at first because it happened to be one of the most common names on Earth. But then the board gave you its last name too, Suh. Johnny Suh. You knew how to narrow down your search and the bigger part of your teenage years was spent searching through the internet for someone named Johnny Suh. There were plenty of them and you were too shy to message them because what would you say? Some batshit tale about how you knew his name from an Ouija board?

Jihyo managed to convince you that if it was fate, you need not look for him because he would come to you at one point in your life.

"This is the point of my life that you were talking about. For years I forgot about the whole thing and now he came to me right when I was having doubts about getting married."

"Hon, this is madness. You know better than to chase after some complete stranger."

"I know. It's a shot in the dark but I'll take it anyway. I have a feeling that I would regret it if I didn't. So, I'm going to Venice."

"Okay, but I'm coming with you. I don't want something bad happening to you in Europe."

"Good! Great! Let's go there together!"

After a crazed meet-up with Jihyo, you went home to your shared apartment and found Eunwoo resting in front of the TV. He spotted you and invited you over to sit next to him, snuggling you close and kissing your temple.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Crazy. How was yours?"

He shrugged. "Well, first I had to perform a seven-hour surgery with the head neurosurgeon, who lectured me the whole time about suturing the brain and whatnot. Second, I had a class with some third-year med students at the university, and guess what I lectured them about?"

You chuckled. "Suturing the brain?"

"Yes, but the topic was about renal failure during brain death."

You giggled, humored. "That's crazy."

"Not crazier than yours, I suppose," he chimed, moving his body to an angle where he could see your face. "What happened?"

You bit your lip nervously, but you knew you had to let him know and he deserved a proper explanation about the whole thing. So you sat up, turned off the TV, and looked at him seriously.

"Listen, I don't want to hurt you or anything. And I certainly don't think you deserved to be treated badly by someone, even if it's me but..." you paused, recognizing the hint of confusion on his face. "I don't think I can marry you, Eunwoo."

You had expected him to pry more, but he just reached for your cheek and gently stroked it. "I know."

"You know?"

"Yes," he nodded, pulling you back into his embrace. "I've known from the beginning."

"How?"

"Don't feel bad, baby. It's not just you. I've had this feeling for a while now too, the feeling that something is misplaced. I can't explain what it was, but it bugged me. At one point, I thought it was just me but I noticed the signs that you were uncertain too. Then I thought that maybe, despite how perfect our relationship seemed to be, everything is just... wrong."

"Eunwoo..."

"I love you. I know that for sure, but I feel unsure. It was weird. I asked you to marry me because I thought that if I did, the weird feeling would go away."

"Did it?" you questioned, feeling your heart break when you found out how you both felt the same way.

"It didn't. It got worse."

"I know. It was awful," you agreed, sighing as you wrapped your arms around his torso. "But I love you. I know I do."

"Just not enough to spend the rest of your life with me right?" he asked and you shyly nodded, not meeting his gaze. "Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, silly," you chided, sitting up to hit his chest. He just laughed and stroked the part that you hit.

"I love you too, babe. Just not enough for marriage. I'm sorry I even asked you to. It would have been a disaster if you had wanted it while I didn't."

You reached for his cheek and kissed his lips. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied and said I wanted it. I would have dragged you into an unhappy marriage."

He scowled and pursed his lips. "I don't think I would be unhappy with you. I think it has something to do with um, discontent?"

"Yeah, discontent."

He smiled, kissing your forehead. "So, what are we gonna do?"

You told him you were going to Italy with Jihyo for some soul-searching, leaving out the part where the soul you were looking for was your soulmate. He told you to have fun after you both decided to not call off the engagement yet and instead just cancel the wedding date. A part of you felt sad after the confessions between you, but the other part of you felt relieved to know you were right about being in the wrong place. So you held on to him through the night, whispering sweet nothings to each other until morning came.

The next day he drove you and Jihyo to the airport and promised not to bother you while you were gone. You said he didn't have to do that and you would love to have him check on you often.

"Nope, I'd love to give you your space and I kinda need my own space to think and figure things out too."

"Alright. Have fun getting lectured by your superior."

Eunwoo laughed heartily, hugging you tightly. "Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"I will. Thanks, babe."

"I love you."

The flight to Italy was long but you didn't feel tired at all. You were giddy, excited to start your search for your soulmate. Your boss thought your story was mental, but he gave you Johnny's Instagram anyway, warning you that Johnny mostly kept to himself and rarely used his electronics.

"Why do you think he likes Italy? Because of the old vintage feel. He goes there every year."

You thanked him for helping you out but he said it was fine because you get to have your very first vacation after you joined the company three years ago. You had asked him to send you a photo but he couldn't find one and Johnny only had Instagram which mostly had a bunch of photography in it. His hobby was being a photographer, as you have been told and he had been contributing to your magazine ever since its establishment.

"Shouldn't you have known if a Johnny Suh was a contributor in your magazine?"

"Jihyo, I'm an accountant. I have no idea about magazine production and stuff."

When you landed, you found that Johnny had posted his story about a certain hotel in Venice and hurried to show it to Jihyo. You both headed there in a rush, but there was no way to rush in the boats that were taking you to the hotel by the canal. So you both opted to take nice pictures of the place.

"Whatever happens in this search, you and I better go sightseeing around town. It's so beautiful I could literally pass out. Look at that gargoyle sculpture thing!"

You just giggled at her, finding it cute how she's easily impressed by everything. A few more minutes later, you arrived at the hotel and had the man at the port help you off the boat. He even carried your luggage for you, politely asking where you were headed.

When you got to the front desk of the hotel from Johnny's story, Jihyo immediately asked about Johnny Suh, which surprised you a little.

"Johnny Suh?" the male elderly receptionist asked. In heavily accented and broken English, he said he does not give out information about their guests.

"Look, sir. We came here for him so if you could just let us know if he's here, that would be nice. You don't have to tell us his room or where he is. Just tell us if he's here," Jihyo tried again, but the elder man just shook his head.

You tugged on her sleeves and shook your head to discourage her. "Let's just check in. I'm sure he'd still be around. The post was just an hour ago."

"Okay," she agreed but when she faced the receptionist, she went on about Johnny Suh again. "This woman is here is my best friend and she's looking for this man because he might be her soulmate. Could you please just tell us if he's here?"

"Jihyo!"

"Stop. The boatman said there are five branches of the same hotel. We need to know if this is the right one!" she chided softly and that's when a handsome Italian man came to intervene.

He had a respectable air to him but he also exuded quite the charisma. "Sorry, ladies. If I may, I'd like to help."

You both glanced back at him and Jihyo sighed in relief. "Yes. Thank goodness. If you could just tell this nice old man that my best friend's soulmate is Johnny Suh and she needs to know if he's here."

The Italian went on to translate what Jihyo said while the two of you stood there gawking cluelessly. If he was translating for real or talking crap about you in Italian, you wouldn't have known. You just trusted this stranger to do your work for you.

"Ladies," he turned to you after a while. "I'm afraid your friend Mr. Suh has left the building."

"Left? He was here just an hour ago," Jihyo questioned.

"Yes, he was indeed in this building but he left just a few minutes ago. I'm afraid you missed him."

The receptionist said something in Italian that your nice stranger translated. "He stayed the night but he left right after breakfast."

Then the elder showed a key with his room number in it and said something else. "He also said your friend is heading to Rome."

"Rome?"

"Yes, Rome," the receptionist confirmed before he turned to put the key back. You thanked them both and got ready to leave, pulling up your phone to see if Johnny had a new update.

"Ladies!"

You stopped to see the nice Italian following you out of the door. Jihyo beamed at him.

"I am under the impression that you require lodging for tonight."

"Thank you but we really need to look for this guy."

He looked around and opened his arms wide, "It's Venice. Wouldn't you hate to just leave without seeing its beauty?"

"He's right," Jihyo agreed, walking towards him. "We could use a tour and a nice guy to show us around."

The man beamed at her and you recognized the flirtatious looks they gave each other. You sighed and gave in. You wanted to do that too and you're pretty tired anyway.

The man who introduced himself as Andre, took you on a small motorboat all the way to a different hotel. The ride wasn't long. In no time, your stuff is being hauled out of the boat and brought into a fancy-looking hotel. You booked a single suite with a Queen-sized bed that you would share with Jihyo. She told you to go up first which you did, stepping inside the bathroom the moment you were alone. After a quick shower, you came out to Jihyo, giggling on her phone.

"Where's Andre?" you teased, assuming it was his texts that were making her giddy.

"Oh, he left. He says he needs to take care of some stuff at his store."

"He has a store?"

"Yes, a dress shop. And he must be well-off because he paid for this room."

"He did?" you questioned, confused. "Why would you let him do that?"

"It's fine because he likes me," she grinned. "A girl shouldn't buy her own drinks at the bar and a lady should never pay for her own room in Italy."

"Sounds like a pretty privilege to me," you snorted, pushing her foot away when she placed it on your lap.

"He said it, not me," she replied, sticking her tongue out at you.

You let your damp hair fall down as you walked towards the dresser where the hairdryer was. "Has Mr. Andre invited you to dinner yet?"

"No, but he said he'll be back later at 7pm tonight to take us to an opera house."

"An opera house? Sounds like a fancy night out."

Jihyo wiggled her eyebrows. "You bet."

You and Jihyo agreed to go sightseeing for the rest of the day, visiting landmarks and taking pictures. You also tried a variety of food that filled you to the point of almost bursting, all the whole happily walking around the nostalgic city. Came nightfall, Jihyo dressed in a pretty black bodycon dress for the opera. You clapped at her excellent choice and even snapped pictures for her Instagram.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? It might be fun! You'll never know!"

"I'm fine, Jihyo. I'm tired of all the walking earlier. And I'm sure Andre would love to have you all to himself too."

She giggled. "You're right. But I'd hate to leave you alone."

"Just go, hun. And make sure he's not a creep."

"If he was, would you come with me?"

You stood up from your position on the bed and headed to your luggage. "I'm gonna get ready. Can you wait?"

"No! No, you don't have to. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

You scoffed. "Looks like you want to be alone with him tonight too."

Jihyo giggled. "He's cute."

You shook your head, sitting back on the bed and wishing her a good night. You pulled up the hotel's TV to watch a movie and pass the time. It was a cheesy romcom but you enjoyed it anyway and made it halfway through. As you were feeling drowsy, you received a notification on your phone.

Johnny just posted a photo!

You sat up immediately, tossing the remote to the side to grab your phone. You opened it up to see a single photo with the caption: 'Two'. You wondered what it was for and examined the picture. It was an array of dresses in different shades of pastel. When you tapped the tagged location, you saw that it was a dress shop in Rome.

"He really is in Rome," you sighed, standing up to pack your stuff quickly. As soon as the day breaks, it's GO time for you and Jihyo.

What are the odds that the dress shop Johnny went to was owned by Andre? 0.10% unless he owns all the dress shops all over Italy. But he does own that specific dress shop so he is now driving you to Rome in his fancy convertible. You sat in the backseat while they were blatantly flirting right in front of you. You weren't paying attention though because you were scrolling through your phone for any updates.

"How long till we get there?" you asked. You had been sitting for two hours so you stopped by the road to rest. The road was long and barely any cars passed by. But the scenery around you leaves you in awe of its beauty.

"Just thirty more minutes, my lady," Andre replied and pointed at the crossroad up ahead. "If we take this route, we should arrive in lesser time."

Jihyo suddenly stood up from the grass. "How much lesser?"

"Say, twenty or fifteen minutes?"

"Good, we should go now," she declared. "Our mystery man is in this church."

Jihyo borrowed your phone to inspect Johnny's feed and found that he recently posted a photo of a church. You grabbed the phone to see it clearly.

"This is two minutes ago."

"It is! Let's go!"

You appreciated Jihyo's enthusiasm and also felt bad for dragging her all the way here. Sure she came willingly, but it's not a secret to say she came for you, to support you, and to make sure you'll be fine. Then again, she had always been there for you. She was there every step of the way from when you were kids until now. Even with your obsession over destiny and love, she listened intently despite having different ideas. When you took leaps, she was there to encourage you regardless of the outcomes. With Jihyo, you've come to know how love in friendships is powerful and strong.

"Is this it?" Jihyo asked Andre as the three of you stood in front of a majestic church.

"Yes. Basilica of St. Agnes, the exact one in the picture."

You compared the two and found that is indeed, the same one. You looked around and saw a few tourists, taking pictures and walking around.

"Quite strange," said Andre, making you look at him.

"What is?" asked Jihyo.

He pointed at the entrance of the church. "It's closed. No visitors are allowed in."

"Why do you think so?"

"I will go find out."

You sighed, eyes roving the surroundings for any signs of Johnny Suh. You don't even know what he looks like but you reckon you'd be able to narrow it down to Asian tourists. Weirdly enough, you can't seem to even guess if any of these were Johnny. Not even a wild guess.

"If it's closed, does that mean he wasn't able to go inside?" you asked Jihyo who was also looking around.

"For all we know he must have left a long time ago."

Andre came back to say that the church was under renovation. While you wished to take a rest, Jihyo said you should try to look around first. You did that, even going as far as asking random Asian men if their name was Johnny Suh, to no avail. It was lunchtime when you gave up your search and went to a restaurant for food. Pasta used to cheer you up, but you're starting to feel like coming here was a bad idea. A part of you is still giddy for the adventure but seeing Jihyo made you feel like you're bothering people for something ridiculous. Even Andre--who is a complete stranger was dragged into a blind chase motivated only by a childish belief.

You shook your head, trying to get the thoughts away. Instead of feeling bad, you told yourself to feel grateful instead. These people were willing to stick with you in the name of friendship, although you know Andre just liked hanging around Jihyo.

You ate quietly, scrolling through Johnny's feed again. His photographs were beautiful and you can see the expert part of it. You wonder if he was as beautiful as these photos, if he was as delicate as the subjects on his feed, and if he took these photos at random or if he took them for a reason. As your mind wandered in that direction, you noticed a photo taken in Italy from last year. You've scrolled so far that you reached the ones from last year.

So it's true he comes every year.

Then you saw the very first picture from that trip. It was the hotel in Venice, captioned '1'. After that, he was in a dress shop in Rome as '2'. Then the church from a while ago. Next, he's in a restaurant, still tagged in Rome. You scrolled past his feed two years before and saw the same pattern. Different pictures of the same places.

"He comes here and travels in a pattern," you blurted, making Jihyo and Andre stop flirting and look at you.

"Who?"

"Johnny. Look at this," you exclaimed and showed Jihyo your phone. You explained the pattern and she saw it instantly.

"So if you're right, he'll be at this restaurant next?" she asked and you nodded confidently. She took your phone and showed it to Andre. "Do you know this restaurant?"

Andre read the tagged location and nodded. "I do. It's a local favorite. It's in the downtown area. Thirty minutes from here."

It was already an hour after lunch and the restaurant was far so you all assumed Johnny would be there for dinner. Andre supported this by saying the restaurant opens at 3 in the afternoon so it's basically a dinner place. You checked into a hotel in the downtown area and stayed there to rest, except for you who decided to walk around and sightsee by yourself. Jihyo wanted to come but you told her to rest too. Seeing how she agreed easily, you understood that she wanted to hang out with Andre too.

The city was beautiful and busy, with streets full of people and vehicles. There are plenty of establishments and shops that you visited, mostly to look around but you also bought a few stuff. Andre was adamant that you visit his dress shop and told you its location. He said he'd call them to let them know you were coming. You were grateful enough for his help so you went there for a visit.

The lady that asked for your name immediately ordered a few staff to help you. It turns out Andre has told them to take care of you and let you pick a nice dress for tonight. It was daunting to accept something from someone you just met but you were grateful anyway. The staff had you pick your favorites and you tried all of them on, all the whole feeling giddy at the prospect of finally meeting Johnny Suh.

An hour of looking around had you going back to the hotel room with a box of a nice red dress. You were pouting as you entered your room, eyeing Andre and Jihyo who both look cozy on the second bed of your suite.

"I appreciate this so much Andre but why did you have me go through all that fashion show if you'd end up picking the dress for me anyway?" you complained shyly but Andre gave you an innocent look while pointing at Jihyo.

"It was me," she grinned. "To be fair, you still got the dress you chose."

"Yes but not the color. I almost freaked when they insisted that I take this one."

Jihyo rose from the bed and walked towards you to open the box—a red satin dress lay delicately over white feathers. It was a delicate dress that looked elegantly minimalistic in white, your original choice. But red made it bolder and vivid. Dinnertime soon came and Jihyo helped you dress up for the night. You felt daunted to wear the dress. It was beautiful but the delicateness of your makeup did not match the fierceness of the dress at all.

"What are you talking about? You look great!" Jihyo convinced you. "The goal is to get noticed, y/n. Red will give you the attention you need. So unless Johnny Suh is blind, you'll be a star wherever you go tonight."

You sat by the window of the restaurant, curiously looking around the quiet place. You are now convinced of Andre's influence, getting you a table easily even with the long queue outside. You wondered if Johnny was already here or if he was outside queueing. You know you can just try to message him and arrange to meet him. But the idea of messaging a stranger felt too scary for you. It was ridiculous to feel so because you literally traveled across the world to find him. But you already felt stupid doing that so you don't really want to go messaging him that, "Hey. I followed you all the way from Korea to Italy because I think you're my soul mate." That's just nuts. Right now, you are content with just a glimpse of him. And then from that, you will decide what to do. Surely you'll know if he was the one, right? You won't be able to explain it, but it should feel right.

"Now where are you, Mr. Suh..." you muttered as you refreshed his feed and found his most recent upload. It was of a table of food, the same table you are sitting on. He is here! At the corner of the picture, you could see what looked like a navy blue sleeve. You wondered if that was him or if he had company. You looked around, trying your best to be discreet about it, and found a few men with the same colored jacket. Then you looked at the picture again and wondered if instead of him, maybe it was whoever he was with at this moment. Maybe he wasn't alone.

You sighed. "I'm a creepy stalker," you muttered to yourself, shaking your head.

The waiter soon arrived with your orders and you took the initiative to ask him if a certain Johnny Suh is dining there tonight.

"Johnny Suh? Ah, Mr. Suh! Yes, he's here tonight."

"Are you sure it's him?"

The waiter chuckled confidently. "Madam, Mr. Johnny Suh always makes his reservations one year in advance. He is here tonight. Right there." You followed the direction he was pointing to and found two Asian men on a table halfway across the room. Both of them were in navy blue clothing, one in a suit and the other in a button-down shirt. How were you supposed to know which one was Johnny?

You turned to ask the waiter again, but he was already walking far away. You decided to just observe for the meantime, trying to eat in peace despite being giddy in your seat. You watched discreetly while they conversed through their food. You can faintly see their faces but you obviously can't hear them. The one in the sleek coat had jet-black and slicked-back medium-length hair that went neatly right down his nape. The other had shorter brown hair styled in a comma hairstyle that was popular in your country today. In physique, the black-haired man was larger but the other was considerably muscular too even under his button-down shirt. They stayed for a while and you stayed too, mostly because you don't know where to go and you were hoping they'd somehow glance your way and you'd take a better look at their faces. But since you only stole glances instead of flat-out staring at them the whole time, you wouldn't have known if either of them noticed you at all.

Slightly drunk due to having about five glasses of wine, you answered Jihyo's chats asking if you were all right. You asked for the bill as you typed in your reply: I'll take a picture of them.

When the bill arrived, you took out your card but the waiter said it had been paid for you by a certain Johnny Suh. Your head automatically spun to their table and saw that they had already left. You panicked and ran out to find them. How can he pay for your food and NOT even talk to you at all? It was ridiculous. You kept running, trying to make out someone with a navy-colored shirt but you couldn't quite tell under the night lights. When you saw the figure of the black-haired man, you called out to him but he was too far to hear you over the crowds of people.

As you struggled to chase him, one of your shoe's heels got stuck in the pavement and you struggled to get it off while the man continued walking further away.

"Fuck it," you grunted, taking off the shoe and leaving it there to continue chasing after him. But after a few minutes of running, you found no trace of him and realized you were in an unfamiliar place. You felt like breaking down, thinking everything you've done just to be here was pointless. Your feet were sore and you're missing the shoe your sister gifted you. And to top it all, you're heartbroken over someone you've never met before. Shoulders sagging in defeat, you called for Jihyo to pick you up.

You sat down at a fountain where Jihyo found you immediately. "We were close by. What happened? Where's your shoe?"

"He's gone."

"Johnny? Did you meet him?" she asked and you shook your head, staring into space, looking distraught.

That was when a man approached you, asking in Italian if you were alright. He was carrying your shoe and somewhere in his expertly enunciated Italian, you could make out that he just called you Cinderella.

"Oh, thank you, sir! Thank you!" Jihyo told the guy but you were still dazed.

"Oh, English! Finally, some friendly faces!" said the guy. He knelt down by your feet. "Allow me?"

"Thank you," you muttered, not sparing a glance at the nice gentleman. He took out a handkerchief to clean your foot with. You had been running barefooted so your foot was soiled.

"You look gorgeous, by the way. Mind giving me your name?" he asked but you ignored him and looked at Jihyo.

"Should I just DM him?"

"Honestly, I was wondering what's taking you so long to do just that," Jihyo smarted

"You're right. That would have saved us a lot of trouble," you sighed.

"Do it. It won't hurt you to just try," Jihyo encouraged, thanking your Prince Charming after he was done with your foot.

"What am I gonna say to him anyway?" you sighed taking your phone out and staring at it.

"What happened at the restaurant?"

"Well, he paid for my meal. That means he noticed me right? But if he paid for my meal, why didn't he talk to me? Was he there paying for everybody's meal tonight?"

"Hey, I don't mean to cut in, but may I ask how long you're staying in the city for?" Prince Charming asked but you were too focused on your phone. Jihyo ended up answering for you.

"Not long. We're here looking for someone."

"Would you tell me his name? Maybe I know him. The Asian community is small in places like this."

"I don't know. He's a tourist, not a resident as far as I know."

"Oh, I'm a tourist myself so–" he stopped when you suddenly stood up.

"I did it. Let's go. I can't wait for his reply while I'm here. I'd freak," you blurted, pulling Jihyo in the direction of Andre's car. "Oh, thanks again!"

"Hey, wait!" he followed you to the car, standing right at the door to stop you from getting in. "I didn't catch your name."

"I didn't say it," you retorted, trying to open the door but he held the handle.

"Well, I'd love to know it."

"Thanks, sir. But I really have to go. You're wasting my time."

"Who is it, then? The guy you're looking for? I'll take that if you can't tell me yours," he insisted so you sighed in frustration, staring straight at him. You gasped when you realized he was the brown-haired guy from the restaurant.

"It's you."

"You know me?"

"No but... at the restaurant. I saw you there."

He smiled, two dimples showing on his cheeks. "Yeah, I saw you there too."

You exhaled, feeling exhilarated. "I'm actually looking for Johnny Suh. Maybe you know him? He paid for my dinner."

His jaw dropped and gaped open for a bit before he closed it again. "That's funny because... I'm Johnny Suh."

Jaehyun panicked as you lost your balance due to weakened knees caused by shock. He caught you in his arms, eyes widening as he asked if you were alright. You got up, trying to calm down as you stared at him more closely.

"Yeah. It's just... I've been looking for you since I got here. Matter of fact, I've been searching for you way longer than that."

Jaehyun felt guilty for lying, but it was the only way you wouldn't get in that car and disappear from his life forever, so he decided to just ride with it. He can worry about telling you the truth later.

"Well, I guess you found me."

Rome at night was magnificent, as you're now finding out while you walked the cobblestone streets with Jaehyun who you now believe to be Johnny. You had no idea about his pretense, but you were on cloud nine, thinking you've found what you came here for and he's everything you dreamed he would be. Considering how it was he who found you while you were chasing a different person, you strongly believed fate was behind the whole thing.

"Accountant? That's great. I work for a fashion brand."

You hummed. "Let me guess, shoes?"

"Was it that obvious?" he asked, smiling shyly and showing more of his dimples that you can't get enough of.

You shrugged. "Not really but you were pretty delicate with my foot tonight and you even told me it wasn't the right fit. That was true, by the way. These are gifts that are a size too small."

"It looks beautiful on you either way," he chimed and you scowled even though you were smiling at the compliment. "And I'm a photographer for the brand. Not like a designer or something."

"Photographer. Yeah, I heard you were."

Jaehyun goes over a short fence where a neatly trimmed lawn is enclosed. Then he takes your hands to help you jump in.

"Please tell me you don't have this weird fixation on..." you paused, pursing your lips before saying, "feet."

Jaehyun threw his head back laughing. "No. God, no. I mean, some feet are pretty, but no. I'm not into that kind of thing."

"I see. Good to know," you replied, sitting on the lawn when he did it first.

He propped himself up with his hands, beckoning for you to lean in. You did so, leaning on his shoulder and staring into the night sky. The stars weren't visible but the moon shone brightly with sparse clouds painting the sky.

"That's pretty," you commented, staring at the waning moon.

"It is. But it's prettier in Positano. By the beach, with the stars and the sea breeze."

"You've been there?"

"Yes, once. It was a long time ago on a short break when I was in college. I've been here several times after that but I never really went back there. I was mostly just here for work."

"You don't live here?"

He chuckled, looking down at you so you met his gaze. "No. What made you think so?"

"You're Italian is good."

"Ah, well, I come here on the regular. One of our designers lives here in Rome. He holds a showcase every year and I always come to take the photos."

"So, you're busy?"

"Not anymore. The show was earlier today. I'm officially not working from today onwards."

You hummed, staring back at the sky and quietly thinking. Jaehyun relaxed right next to you, resting his cheek on your head.

"Take me to Positano," you asked, trying to be confident despite being shy.

"Sure," he hummed, sniffing your hair before nuzzling his cheek on it. "I'll take you tonight if you want me to."

You scoffed. "Tomorrow maybe?"

"Tomorrow then."

You smiled to yourself but then you remembered the restaurant so you sat up to face him properly. "Right. Earlier tonight at the restaurant..."

"Why?"

"You paid for my food. Does that mean you noticed me?'

"Yeah. I did notice you. Ever since you walked in, actually. You were so beautiful, I barely managed to keep my eyes off of you."

"Then why didn't you talk to me? I had been eyeing you all night."

He exhaled. "How was I to know? Besides, I was with a friend and I didn't want to leave him as much as I'd hate to disturb you."

"Very well then, we should be glad you picked up my shoe."

"I know. I was actually on my way back to the restaurant to talk to you, but I found you running around like Cinderella instead. It's a funny story."

You giggled. "One for the books, if I do say so myself."

He smiled, staring at you with his dreamy eyes. You stared right back, both self-conscious and feeling appreciated under his gaze. It was like he could stare at you forever and you felt so loved like that, so beautiful, and so delighted. "Do you believe in fate?" He asked so you snorted.

"Are you really asking me that? Me, who came all the way here because I believed in fate... maybe a little too much?" You had told him about the Ouija board, the search, and how you followed him just because you answered a call that wasn't for you.

"Hmm. Touche." His lips looked so full and plump and pink even under the moonshine. You stared at them for a while, wondering if they were as soft as they looked. "Would you like to try and see?"

"Hmmh?" you inquired, flushing on the cheeks by his indirect invitation for a kiss.

He tapped his bottom lip and you stared back at it, biting your own to mask your shyness but it only showed how unsure you were.

He took the initiative to lean forward, setting your lips as his goal. You can tell him 'no' or you can dodge and even make a move to refuse, but you didn't. Instead, you leaned forward too, meeting him halfway where your lips found each other. Soft, just like you imagined they'd be. Firm, especially when he started to move them, claiming yours in a long, passionate kiss. The sensation made you warm and euphoric, instinctively reaching for his neck and closing your eyes to take in more of him. When pulled away, you opened your eyes and were met with beautiful brown ones and a smile.

"Hi," you blurted out, unable to think of anything else to say. He just laughed, stealing a brief kiss before pulling you back in his arms.

It was past midnight when you parted, not even wanting to let go of each other's hands even while you were literally standing in front of your door. He kept telling you about tomorrow and you kept saying 'yes' to going to Positano. If it wasn't for Jihyo who scolded you for keeping the door wide open, you would spend the entire night staring into each other's eyes.

"See you in the morning," he said for the final time, kissing your forehead when you pressed it on his chin.

"See you in the morning, Johnny," you replied. You saw him do a double take but he just sighed and didn't say anything else, just a wave before leaving.

You closed the door and did a twirl as you walked further into the room. Jihyo chuckled teasingly. "You look obscenely happy."

"Thanks. I am," you replied proudly before stepping into the bathroom for a quick wash.

The morning was beautiful from your window, but sadly, you are set to leave Rome today for the beaches of Positano. You were excited to leave and it seems like Jihyo was too because she was the first to drag her stuff out of the room. A hotel attendant helped you with your luggage and brought them down to the parking area where two cars and two gorgeous men were waiting for you.

"Good morning," Jaehyun greeted as you ran towards him with open arms. "Are you ready to go?"

"Can't wait."

He chuckled and tapped your nose affectionately. Glancing over at the other car, Jaehyun asked if they were ready too. Andre raised a thumb in response.

"We'll follow right behind you," he told Jaehyun, who waved and beckoned for you to get into the car.

The ride was fun. Music filled your ears and the air blew your hair beautifully. Jaehyun's camera sat on the compartment between your seats and you asked if you could use it. He agreed and cited instructions on how to operate it. When you got the gist of it, you started snapping pictures of him driving. He noticed this and started posing for the camera, earning a giggle from you.

"You look great in these, John," you commented as you browsed through your snaps.

"I'll take pretty ones of you later," he promised, taking one of your hands and kissing it.

Positano was beautiful too, much greener and much more provincial than the first two cities you've visited. You could the sea beyond the cliffs and Jaehyun said you'll be staying in a hotel by the beach. A few more minutes of traveling and you finally reached the said hotel, its driveway was expertly lined with tall trees on each side, giving it a majestic entrance.

"Food! Great because I'm starving," Jihyo announced as soon as she spotted the hotel restaurant. She dragged you there, leaving the men to take care of the luggage and the check-in.

You ordered a feast and soon Andre and Jaehyun joined you without your bags.

"Y/n, dearie," Andre began, sitting next to Jihyo. "I hope you don't mind. I booked a room for me and Jihyo to share."

You cocked an eyebrow at Jihyo, who smiled sheepishly. "Ah, come on. You have Johnny. You won't be alone," she pouted.

You exchanged looks with Jaehyun who just nodded encouragingly. "If you want, I can get a different room."

"No. It's fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked, reaching for your hand that was on your thigh.

You held his arm with your free hand and beamed at him. "Yes. I don't mind."

"Alright."

The food was great, as you had expected. Jihyo chose the restaurant's best-selling sets so the men ended up praising her choice, even encouraging you to try specific things. You were impressed at Jaehyun being well-versed in both the language and the food. It seems he really liked Italy despite saying he only ever comes here for work. Even when you went out for a walk by the beach, he kept telling you about the seashells you would pick up while taking random shots of you at the same time. You enjoyed his trivia so much that you purposely picked up different shells and rocks to ask him about.

"That one's different," he commented, taking the shell from your hand to get a better look at it. "This one is not usually found here, but it's still pretty. Probably washed over by the current."

"It looks like you," you quipped, taking it back and putting side by side his face to better compare it.

"How do you say so?" he grinned.

"See. Your hair is the same color, golden brownish. This shell is you, Johnny!"

Jaehyun laughed taking the shell again and chucking it in his pocket. "I'll keep it then. Souvenir from the best vacation of my life."

"You're a flirt, Mr. Suh."

"That's because you're pretty, Ms. Y/N," he retorted, pulling you flush on his side.

You giggled, wrapping your arm around his waist as you continued walking. At one point, you were able to take his camera and snap pictures of him. He looked regal on the camera but it was nothing compared to what you're seeing in real time. He's breathtaking, like the sea breeze and the view right before you. He's gorgeous and golden, like the sun that's setting down the horizon.

You leaned on Jaehyun's chest, staring at the sunset with dreamy eyes. None of you were talking, tired from goofing around all afternoon and just utterly speechless by the beauty before you. It felt right to be here, perfect even. But at the back of your head, there's a fear of this moment coming to an end. You don't want it to, and you wish you could stay there forever, flush in his embrace, engulfed in his warmth and staring into the beautiful sunset until time passes by so long that the sun begins to rise again.

"Would you be surprised to hear that I might be falling in love with you?" asked Jaehyun, unaware of the way he's willingly being vulnerable in front of you.

"Yes, but it would make me happy to know that too," you confessed, closing your eyes to focus on his heartbeat. "I like being here, right by your side. It feels right. It feels good. I don't think I'm gonna let anyone take this away."

You felt him kiss your head so you looked up, reaching up to kiss his lips. "Would you stay?" you asked.

He lifted your chin so your lips could touch properly. "I'll be wherever you are and wherever you want me to be."

With that, you kissed again, the sunset witnessing the birth of love that was meant to be. A kiss that was fated to happen. Two people meant to meet and be together.

Days with Jaehyun were filled with new experiences. You went boating, scuba diving, hiking, and cruising around in a small yacht owned by Andre. If you weren't taking each other's pictures, you were making out somewhere cozy. On the times when you were cooped up in your suite, you're both tangled limb by limb, content with sharing each other's warmth and getting to know more of each other's strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and even hopes and dreams. You bonded over photography, him as the photographer and you as his subject. You talked about the future like you both belonged in each other's versions of it. Five days in Positano had you realizing you had never told so much about yourself to anyone until Jaehyun, who you still cluelessly believed to be Johnny.

Jaehyun on the other hand was getting anxious about the lie. The closer you got, the more he feared losing you once you found out that he lied. It shouldn't be a big deal, but he knows it was given how passionate you get when talking about destiny and fate and the universe putting you in the world to be with that one person. You still believed that that one person was Johnny Suh, but Jaehyun would rather believe that it was him. He wanted to believe that it was fate that brought you together, you were fated and he just happened to have a different name. It shouldn't matter, right?

"Where are we going?" you asked as you let Jaehyun guide you through the bushes.

"You'll see."

You started to hear faint orchestra music and make out bright lights beyond the tall bushes. When you finally reached a clearing, you saw a huge house in front of you, almost like an actual palace. The music grew louder and you could see people dressed beautifully walking around the garden while most of them were gathered inside.

"Please tell me we have an invitation for this thing," you pleaded, holding Jaehyun,'s hand tighter.

He glanced briefly at you and chuckled. "Of course we don't. We're not elite Italian socialites."

You gasped. "Are we gate crashing?"

He pressed a finger on his lips and shushed you. "We're foreigners who made a wrong turn while looking for the bathroom."

As you neared the entrance, you nervously bit your lip. "I have a feeling you've done this plenty of times."

He chuckled. "Well, for once, your assumption was wrong. I haven't. This is my first time."

"Are you kidding me? So you don't have an exit plan?"

"Have you heard about spontaneity? You should try some."

You scoffed mockingly. How dare he say that to you. You literally flew all the way to Italy on a whim.

He straightened up, patting his suit and tie. You did the same, thanking the fact that you were both out for a fancy dinner tonight and your nice clothes are helping you blend in easily with the crowd.

"Welcome to the Baron's ball, Madam," Jaehyun greeted with a bow then he offered his arm for you to hold on to. "Shall we?"

You giggled, hooking your hand on his arm. "Lead the way, Mr. Suh."

He grinned at you before he led you inside the venue. People are dressed in fancy-looking dresses and suits, most of them shimmering under the massive chandelier's light, giving you anxiety and fear of getting caught for being underdressed. An actual orchestra was playing the music and while some were chatting on the sides, others were at the center of the hall, dancing in pairs. Nerves started creeping up on you when Jaehyun guided you all the way to the dance floor.

"What are you doing?" you scolded in a whisper but he just shushed you gently, squeezing your hand in assurance.

"We can't pass up on a chance to dance at a swanky party," he whispered in your ear, kissing the side of your head right after and leaving you warm and nervous.

"Good evening," one man greeted and Jaehyun was quick to give him an acknowledging nod.

"Good evening," he replied. Now that you're noticing it, he had been making greetings all night, nodding and smiling at the people who happened to look your way. It makes you look less conspicuous and more like you actually knew people there.

You soon reached the dance floor and you let him pull you in a dancing stance similar to everyone else there, one hand pulling your waist gently and the other delicately holding your hand. You placed your hand on his shoulder, stroking his neck with your thumb as you both swayed to the music.

"Relax, love," he smiled, leaning closer to your ear. "You got me. We'll be fine."

You couldn't help smiling and relaxing into his voice—a baritone melody of your own. You close the gap between you, pressing your ear on his chest while you continue to dance. Your heart was at ease and just like how it had always been ever since you met him, you felt the fulfillment of belonging to something, to someone. You were glad you booked that flight and fate was amazing for letting you pick up that call. Finally, you feel like you found what you came here for. Everything might have gone too fast, but it didn't feel that way at all. Rather, it feels more like things have started falling into place, right where they're supposed to be. Including you who's supposed to be in his arms, just like right now.

"Is this destiny?" he asked and you smiled, lifting your head to peek at his face. He was smiling down at you too, eyes crinkling and dimples showing.

"It is. Because if it isn't then it shouldn't feel this right, John."

He had a sad smile that he quickly masked by kissing your forehead. "I'm just asking because I'm not big on destiny and soulmates and all that stuff. But a friend told me that everything you do, everywhere you go, everyone you meet, you meet them for a reason. The reason was destiny. Do you think so too?"

You nodded. "I've been a firm believer of destiny since I was little. I like to believe that destiny governs our lives, especially with meeting people. Every friend we unfriended, every enemy we hated, everyone we loved and stopped loving, even the passing older woman in the grocery store or the student looking down at his phone on the train. We met them because we were meant to meet them. To some we play a role in their lives, others we don't even care about, but it was all meant to be. And we begin in a random place, navigating through people and relationships and places until we find where we belong."

"That's beautiful."

You smiled at him, tiptoeing to peck on his lips. "It's even more beautiful now that I found you. This, I feel, is where I belong."

"I feel so too," he replied, leaning down low for a longer kiss. "I feel like after this, wherever you are or wherever I go, I will find you."

You gasped, grinning upon remembering something. "You know that song that goes, anytime, every time I get lost you will find me."

Jaehyun's eyebrows knitted. "No, but I like it already."

You rolled your eyes. "I'll have you listen to it later."

The music changed at that moment, into something more energetic and fun. People started cheering and heading for the dance floor, cramping the space. You held on to Jaehyun when you lost your balance and he held you right up until people stopped coming in and finished adjusting the spaces. You looked around anxiously and found that everybody was in coordinated places, except for the two of you.

"I have a bad feeling about this," you told Jaehyun, the music has halted and everyone in their pairs and places seemed to be waiting for it to play again. "Should we leave?"

"Just relax. It's a cotillion. Let's just blend in."

The music started playing and the dancers started dancing in eerily coordinated movements and uniform dance steps. Jaehyun was swaying you around, laughing at the ridiculousness of being at the center of this beautiful dance.

"Dance, love. Dance like this is your last night in Italy," he beamed at you and you started copying his silly dance moves, all the while laughing and giggling your embarrassment away. It wasn't long until other people started noticing you.

"The guy in the red suit, I think he's a guard or a butler or something," he told you. "When he comes this way, we run to that door, okay?"

"What?" The panic in your voice was loud, following the direction he was pointing to. "Wait, that wasn't where we came from!"

"Yes, but it would be easier to escape through there!"

"Oh, god no. Is that a guest list he's checking?" you questioned, observing the man going through a book? When he looked at you sternly, you held your breath and grabbed Jaehyun's hand before you started bolting for the door.

"Oi! Hey!" came the voice of some guy.

Jaehyun stopped you from running and knelt to take your shoes off of your feet. You kicked them hastily and as soon as he picked them up, you ran out of the main entrance right outside a long garden. Jaehyun spared no second and went for the huge gates. The man chasing after you started shouting in Italian but you were already past the gates with the clueless guards scowling at the unusual occurence.

You didn't stop running until you were far from the venue, laughing and giggling all the while until you both stopped to catch your breath by the seawall. Jaehyun sat on the ledge, tapping the space next to him to invite you over. You sat there panting, leaning on him for support.

"You good?" he questioned, wrapping an arm around you and massaging your shoulder.

"Yes. Are you?"

"Better than ever," he replied and you both laughed heartily, breathless and euphoric. You sat up after a while and stared at his face.

"You're a bad influence."

He grinned proudly. "I know. Can I kiss you?"

"I might if you don't," you replied bravely, looking at his lips. And he did, he kissed you long and sweet, until you were both breathless on that ledge, until you were both overcome by more than just the adrenaline from the recent run.

When you arrived at the hotel, the receptionist greeted him as Mr. Jung, which made you wonder. So when the elder man turned around, you asked, "Mr. Jung? I thought you were Mr. Suh?"

"He's probably another Asian guest. To these people, all Asians look the same."

You laughed because he was right. You've had similar experiences before. Besides, you were so drunk on his scent and his warmth that you forgot about everything else as you rushed to his suite. As soon as the doors closed, you jumped into one another, kissing and nipping your skins in a spur of lust. You knew where this was heading. You knew you would end up sleeping with him so you slipped away from his arm even as he chased after you.

"There's something you should know. It's gonna surprise you and might have you rethinking this whole thing," you said, looking into his half-lidded eyes. He smiled and rested his forehead on yours.

"I don't think anything you say can change how I feel about you."

The statement made your heart swell so you hugged him again, kissing him on the lips before he parted with you to nip on your jaw and neck. You tilted your head to the side to give him better access, letting out a faint moan as his lips brushed your skin. "The truth is..."

"Hmm?" He inquired, sending vibrations to your skin. He nibbled on your ear before adding, "What is it?"

"I'm actually..." you began, taking his face so you could see his eyes. "...engaged."

He makes a full stop, half-lidded eyes now wide open in shock. "You're what?"

"I'm engaged. I'm supposed to get married in like, a week or something."

He backed away just enough so your chest would stop touching. He was still holding your arm when he asked, "Then why are you a thousand miles from home looking for a soulmate in a complete stranger?"

"I... well, I happened to have answered your call for my boss, Taeyong Lee. And at the time I was very very conflicted about getting married and spending the rest of my life with someone I'm not sure about. And then you called and it happened to be me who answered. I..." you paused, reaching for his cheek and stroking it. "I had reason to believe it was fate telling me to find you."

He kissed you again, pulling you even closer this time then carrying you onto his bed. He climbed on top of you, kissing, sucking, and nipping at every exposed skin. "Well, I kinda have a little something to say too... It might be a big deal."

You sat up, unbuttoning his shirt as you shook your head. "It doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?"

You smiled, reaching in to touch his chest. "We found each other, didn't we? That's all that matters. I mean, what could be worse than me being an engaged woman?"

He smiled, revealing his dimples as he dived in to lay you down again. He showered your skin with kisses again while you led his hand to palm your breast. "I don't know... maybe the fact that my name is not Johnny Suh."

In a daze from the sensation of his kisses and his touches, you couldn't quite process what he just said. "You're not?"

"No."

Your brows knitted, eyes half-closed as you felt arousal clouding your head even darker under his hands. "Then, who are you?"

"I'm Jung Jaehyun."

Your eyes fluttered open, suddenly feeling wide awake. "What?!" you hollered, pushing him off of you but he was heavy so you were only able to move him a little.

He pouted, "You said none of it matters."

"Yes, except for that!" you bellowed, pushing him with your legs that sent him flying off the bed and onto the floor.

"Hey, it's just a name!"

You stood up angrily, picking up your purse, your shoes, and your coat from where they were scattered in the room. "You are a liar! You're a jerk and a horrible, horrible person!"

"Hey, calm down." He attempted to calm you, holding your flailing arms that were hitting his chest, but you yanked your arms away from his grasp.

"Don't touch me!"

Jaehyun raised his arms in surrender. "Okay. Okay. I lied. But only about my name. The rest of it was true. All of it. My dreams, my hopes, how I felt about you... all of it. I like books, I'm a photographer. I didn't lie about any of that!"

"Except the most important thing to me!"

Jaehyun sighed, shoulders sagging and head tilting in defeat. "Come on, love."

"Don't call me that."

"I thought you liked it?"

"I did when I thought you were Johnny."

Jaehyun exhaled sharply, getting frustrated as he followed you through the door to the hallway. "Hey, Johnny isn't even the kind of guy you think he is. Be real. He's a stranger. You don't know him."

"You would be very much a stranger to me too if you hadn't lied about being him. Honestly, that's a terrible thing to do. Have you no conscience?"

He called your name just as you had pressed the elevator button. "Please. Give me a chance. How would you even know he was the man you were looking for?"

"I will figure that out myself," you declared, getting into the lift and facing him. You shut the steel gate so he couldn't follow you inside. "Why did you even do that?"

"Because I'm in love with you!"

You rolled your eyes, scoffing. "You've outdone yourself."

You knock on Jihyo's room with your eyes full of tears, weeping as you pounded nonstop. When the door opened, you saw Jihyo looking like she had been disrupted from sleep. Andre was right behind her and you didn't even care to think they might have been doing something else entirely when you pushed through the door. You sat on the couch by the window and started crying uncontrollably. Jihyo rushed to you, stroking your back and shushing you.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"Let's go home, Jihyo. You were right. This was madness. Coming here, chasing after some ghost. Believing in stupid fate. All of this. This is the worst trip of my life!" you ranted, covering your face with your hands.

Jihyo asked Andre to give you both the space and the latter was understanding enough to leave. She let you cry your heart out and offered you a glass of water as soon as you calmed down.

"What happened? Where's Johnny?"

"He's not Johnny, Jihyo. He lied about being Johnny. His name was Jung Jaehyun."

"What? Why would he?"

You scoffed and gave her an incredulous look. Standing up, you started ranting, "Because he's a horrible person, why else? He probably thought this whole thing was a joke and that he could get into my pants if he lied about who he was. Well, guess what? His honesty was five days too late! He has wasted my time and all the effort it took me to come here. I will never believe in fate or destiny or love or any of that crap ever again!"

Jihyo sighed, taking the glass from your hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" you snapped.

"Really? You won't believe in fate or destiny? And love too?"

You recognized the worry in her voice and then realized everything you just said. You sat back down and buried your face in your hands. Your whole life, you believed in love and destinies. Everything good that happened to you, you thanked destiny. For everything bad, you believed destiny had something better in store. You believed in love because your parents never stopped loving each other. You believed in love because you grew up in a home where love was the main foundation. Now, just because a random tourist broke your heart, you're throwing everything you believed in out of the window? That doesn't sound like you at all.

"Y/n," Jihyo chanted, hugging your curled up figure. "Maybe this is destiny too. Getting hurt is part of everyone's growth. What he did was wrong and he was indeed a horrible person for doing that but don't let him be the reason you forget everything you believed in, okay?"

You nodded, sniffing the tears away. "Let's go home, Jihyo."

"Okay. We will. We'll go home."

Jihyo was alone in her hotel room, packing up both yours and her bag so you could go home the next day. She was the one who took all your stuff from the room you shared with Jaehyun and found no one there so she just took everything she believed was yours. You were out early to book tickets with Andre so Jihyo was left to clean up.

She was almost done when she heard knocks on the door. At first, she thought it was you or Andre but when she opened up, she was greeted by a huge bouquet of flowers. Jihyo sighed and swatted it away, knowing the tall guy behind it was none other than Jaehyun.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Not Johnny Suh?"

"Oh, Jihyo. Is she here?" he asked, peering inside.

"She's not."

Jaehyun took a sharp exhale. "Would you tell me where she is?"

Jihyo scoffed mockingly. "She's booking tickets for our flight back home."

"You're leaving already?"

"Yes. Early tomorrow. But if she finds a flight for tonight, I'm sure she'll take it. The sooner we leave, the faster she forgets about the jerk she met in Italy."

"Come on, Jihyo. Not you too," he begged. Jihyo just scoffed louder and attempted to close the door but Jaehyun was quick to stop her. "Okay, I know. I know I messed up but can you please hear me out?"

"You're not worth my time, Jaehyun."

"I understand," he sighed, pushing himself inside the room. "But I beg you to hear me out because she wouldn't."

Jihyo crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay. Three minutes."

"Great, well. The thing is," Jaehyun began, placing the bouquet on the table. "I am in love with her."

Jihyo laughed mockingly. "Are all guys the same? Willing to say just anything to get laid?"

"Hey, for the record, I have no problem getting laid."

"You're admitting that you go around sleeping? Gross."

"No. Wait, listen to me..." he took Jihyo to sit down on the chair and crouched on the floor to meet her height. "I never believed in fate as much as she did. I think it's crap."

"Is that why you fooled her? Because you think she believes in crap?"

"Wait. You're not letting me talk."

"Okay. Do it fast."

Jaehyun motioned for her to be quiet. "So, I never believed in that, right? But I wasn't supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to be in Italy at all! I was supposed to be home taking care of my dog because, for the first time since I started working, I have earned a vacation leave. But what happened? The photographer who was supposed to come here canceled and I was called in to fly at the last minute. And so here I was, tired of always coming back here every year only to take pictures of that old grumpy Marchetti's shoes which are nice by the way but not nice enough for him to earn my respect."

"You're blabbering, Jaehyun."

"Sorry, okay." He paused, took a deep breath, and nodded his head. "So here I am in Italy, in Rome, happy that the show was over and I can finally go back home. But then I met my old friend, Johnny Suh. He invited me out to dinner and I accepted because I wanted to catch up with him. And then in comes this gorgeous gorgeous lady in a beautiful red dress. It's like the world was shifting out of focus and all I could see was... her, looking around curiously before sitting on a table by herself."

"She was there for Johnny."

"I know! I mean, no, I didn't at the time but I know now. I wanted to talk to her but I had a friend with me and I'd hate to leave him alone, so I didn't. I was under the impression that she was waiting for someone. I mean, she wouldn't be dressed up so gorgeously if she was alone, right? So I just stole glances and Johnny noticed and he told me to approach her. I said I'd pay for her food instead but he was adamant that I talk to her and then he paid for her bill too."

"I see, so that's what happened."

"Yes, and then my friend left and I was there watching her drink wine after her meal, waiting for a chance. But then I chickened out, so I left."

Jihyo cocked an eyebrow at him, telling him to continue. Jaehyun stood up and started pacing around.

"So I was walking the streets, thinking about her and then suddenly, this girl bumped into me. She was wearing the same dress and the same hairstyle and I knew it was her. I followed her because I'd regret it if I didn't but your friend is a fast runner, did you know that?"

"She did track and field in high school."

Jaehyun clicked his fingers. "I see, that's why. And so I found her shoe, stuck in the cobblestone. I picked it up and started looking for her. She was easy to find in that gorgeous red dress. And so we met and she was visibly upset and then suddenly, you guys were leaving. I knew I had to stop her, I knew I had to at least get her name because I'd regret it if I didn't. I'd regret it if she got into that car and disappeared forever. And then she said she saw me too and told me she was looking for Johnny. I thought it would be easy to make her stay if I said I was Johnny."

"Or you could have just said you know who Johnny Suh is."

"I know! But hey, I panicked, okay? I was... desperate. I guess. I have never felt this way before. Ever. My mum told me to hop on this plane. To go on this trip even when I had to work while I was here. She told me something great might happen to me here and honestly, I know this is it. Finding her was the 'something great' my mom told me about. I just know. I don't know how I knew, I just do. And now I messed it all up. I can't let her leave, Jihyo. Not when I just got to know her."

Jihyo sighed. "That's actually very romantic, but it was wrong from the get-go. This was a big deal for her, she left home to pursue this. She left her fiancée. You lied to her and she's mad at you right now and if you ask me, I would be too."

"Is there any way I can make it up to her?"

"Bring her to your friend, Jaehyun. She just needs a look, a confirmation that she won't be making the wrong decision."

"What? About her marriage?"

"Yes. It's not my place to tell, but she's conflicted."

"Yeah, she mentioned."

"You know about it? Then good. You also know how much this means to her."

The door suddenly opened, revealing Andre who looked surprised to see Jaehyun. "Buddy, you messed up."

"I know," Jaehyun sighed, standing up from the floor and grabbing the bouquet. To Jihyo, he said, "Thanks, Jihyo."

"Good luck, Jaehyun."

The tickets were already booked and you were set to leave in the morning. You checked your bags for a final inspection of your stuff. "We have to leave super early, Jihyo. The flight is early and we don't want to miss it."

"I know. Andre and I will just drive around and stuff. It won't take long."

"Just have fun, okay? You don't have to rush. We just need to be there on time. We have to leave before that jerk comes looking for me."

"You like him, don't you?" Jihyo teased while hooking an earring on her ear. "You're crazy for him."

"I am not. I may like him but it was because he made me believe he was someone else. I thought he was my soulmate."

Jihyo pursed her lips. "You liked him just because you thought he was your soulmate, now that you found out he was someone else, your feelings just disappeared? That doesn't really sound like fate to me."

You scoffed. "You don't believe in fate."

"I don't believe in chasing fate. I believe that it comes to you when it's time."

You sighed in exasperation. "Whose side are you on?"

"No one's," she replied. "So tell me, you're not in love with him?"

"I hate him," you said with utter disgust.

"Good, because that's what I told him when he came to drop flowers for you."

Your ears rang bells in your head along with the pounding of your chest. "He came here?"

"While you were out to book tickets."

"And you told him I hated him?"

Jihyo gave you a playful grin. "You don't?"

You paused and looked away, continuing to pack your things. "None of that changes the fact that he lied about who he is."

Jihyo smiled knowingly. "Good, then we can go home without regrets. I'll go sightseeing with Andre today and you can stay here and... I don't know, weep?"

"You're mean."

"Maybe," she giggled, heading for the door. "Call Eunwoo. Tell him to send out the invitations because you are totally ready to get married to him."

"Park Jihyo!"

"Bye," she chanted, slipping out of the door.

The night came and went. Soon, the birds were chirping outside your window. You didn't even sleep a wink and instead of feeling glad to be going home after over a week of being here, you feel rather heavy. Part of you doesn't want to leave but your mind just wants to get out of there fast.

"Ready?" Jihyo asked after you've buckled your seatbelt in the backseat of Andre's car.

"Ready," you exhaled, forcing out a smile.

Andre turned on the engine and was about to drive when a loud thud made all of you halt. You spotted Jaehyun in front of the car, his large hands pressed on the hood.

"Wait. Don't go yet," he breathed and it seemed to you that he had been running.

You got out of the car to confront him, thinking he was there to argue his case.

"What are you doing?"

Jaehyun inhaled deeply and held your shoulders. "Don't leave yet. Let me make it up to you."

"Nothing you do will ever change my mind, Jaehyun," you belted, putting a clear emphasis on his real name.

Jaehyun bit his lip, looking frustrated. "You're so beautiful."

You turned to go back to the car so Jaehyun stopped you. "No wait, please. I messed up, okay? I understand that you're mad, that's why I'm here now. I want to apologize and make it up to you."

"How? By sweet-talking me?"

Jaehyun shook his head. "No, Johnny. Johnny. I know where Johnny is."

You stopped trying to get in the car and turned to face him. "You're not lying?"

"No. I'm not. Uh, I know he comes here every year and I remembered in Rome he told me he'd be in Amalfi on the 5th. Today is the 5th. He will be there for a while."

"Amalfi? Isn't that just around here?" you asked, turning to Jihyo and Andre.

"It is, and it's worth a shot. Also," he fumbled in his pockets to fish out his phone. "Here, I have his hotel number. You can contact him through that."

"How did you get it?"

"I pulled some strings. But I'm sure that will work. That is if you really changed your mind about finding him."

You paused to think, glancing over at Jihyo for her opinion. She just nodded and you let out a sigh.

Looks like Destiny doesn't want you to leave just yet.

You changed your route from the airport to Amalfi. It wasn't a long trip, just less than an hour and you are already at the hotel Jaehyun mentioned. He followed you there too but you refused to ride with him and settled in the backseat of Andre's convertible. You feel a little stupid for pursuing this again after you went on about how this is all a sham. But you came all the way here, a glimpse of Johnny Suh should be enough. You're not even trying to see if he was your soulmate anymore. You just want to fulfill the goal that brought you here in the first place.

"Can I use your phone?" you asked the receptionist after you checked in. He showed you to the phone and left you there. Your friends went on their ways too. You were nervous to dial his room number and stared at the white telephone for a while.

"Gosh, you can't back out now," you told yourself but just as you were about to grab the receiver, your phone buzzed so you checked it first. Seeing the notification made your jaw drop.

By some miracle, one week since you sent him a message, user johnnyjsuh finally got back to you!

You successfully contacted Johnny through Instagram and he apologized for seeing your message so late. After a quick chat, you asked if you two could have dinner together and told him you were in the area. He accepted and set the time for it, promising to treat you to some great food.

You got ready for said dinner, picking out a demure white dress that you had in your luggage. Jihyo was excited for you too and she was going for a dinner date with Andre so she was getting ready with you. You were in the middle of getting dressed when Andre arrived, Jaehyun in tow with a box. You escaped into the bathroom since you were still half naked.

"I'm gonna go," Jihyo said holding on to Andre's arm. "See you later, okay?"

"See you!" you called out from inside the bathroom.

"See you later, Jaehyun," Jihyo told Jaehyun before closing the door.

Jaehyun knocked on the bathroom door. "I got something for you."

"Maybe later, Jae. I'm kind of naked right now," you chided and Jaehyun gulped at the idea of you naked in there.

"Just take it. I won't look. You're gonna need it."

You peeked through the door and Jaehyun handed the box to you. You took it and then found that it was a pair of white shoes. "Thanks! But how do you know my size?"

"Um, intuition?" he chuckled, looking around your room and spotting the dress hanging in the closet. He grabbed it and stood outside the bathroom door.

"Good guess. It fits perfectly," you called back out. Jaehyun flashed a proud smile. You opened the door slightly and poked your hand out. "Hey, Jaehyun, do you mind handing me my dress. It's the white one in the—"

You couldn't finish your sentence because he had already hung the hanger on your finger. You pulled it inside and thanked him. Jaehyun then went over to the dresser and picked up a set of earrings and a bracelet.

"Oh, and I also need my earrings—" you stopped when Jaehyun placed the pair in your hand the moment you pushed it out of the door. "And my silver bracelet—" Again, Jaehyun placed the jewellery on your palm.

Quite impressed, you popped your head out of the gap to see him. He was standing right outside and he smiled when he saw you. "What?"

You shook your head. "Nothing. Thanks."

After getting dressed, you opened the bathroom door and found him sitting on the couch with an Italian magazine. You shyly asked him to button your dress for you.

"Usually, I can do it myself but with zippers."

"Yeah, no problem," he lilted, touching you exposed shoulder and turning you so you were facing the mirror.

You could see him from the reflection, looking as handsome as when you first met him. The air of elegance, his beautiful skin, and plump lips. You remembered kissing him and found your hand touching your lower lip. When he couldn't button you up with one hand, the other hand left your shoulder to fiddle with the locks. His face contorted in concentration and you felt a rush in your veins when his fingers brushed the bare skin of your spine.

"Damn buttons," he muttered as soon as he buttoned you up. He met your gaze in the mirror and smiled at you. "You look great."

"Thank you," you breathed, still locked in his gaze. You saw his jaw clench and noticed how he tucked his hands in his back pocket.

"You should go. Johnny's probably waiting."

You sighed. "Thanks for taking me here, Jae."

His face darkened as he clenched his jaw again. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't call me Jae." He closed the gap between you until you can feel his warmth from behind you.

"But... isn't that your name?"

"Yes," he muttered, resting his head on your shoulder. "And it sounds so good when you say it. It was meant for your lips, for your voice..."

"Don't do this, Jaehyun..."

He let out a sigh that made you hold your breath. He just told you not to say his name but you did.

"Go to Johnny. Go see if he really is your soulmate."

You chuckled bitterly, turning to face him. "Are you mocking me?"

But the look on his face was anything but mockery. Instead, he looked frustrated and defeated. "I'm asking you to go. Maybe if he makes you happy, I'll move on."

You touched his face and he nuzzled on the warmth of your hand. When you were about to let go, he held your hand in place, the other finding your waist and pulling you close. You don't know what it was that was drawing you to Jaehyun. Is it because he was handsome? But you met countless handsome guys. Heck, your boyfriend was literally the most handsome man you laid eyes on. Is it his charm? Or the way he makes you feel like you're all he wants? Whatever it was, it was drawing you again, making you reach to hold onto his neck while he pulled you into a soft kiss.

"Don't go," he pleaded with eyes closed, pressing his forehead on yours after the kiss. "Stay."

"This is what I came here for, Jae," you insisted, watching his pained expression. "I must do this."

You let go of him and took your purse. Jaehyun turned his back, not giving you a look even as you bade him good night. The night was young and the breeze blew cold. Somehow, you regretted wearing this dress and not bringing a coat. You were being irresponsible. But as you descended down the lower floor where the restaurant sat, you felt warmer. The man at the entrance greeted you and you gave him the name on the reservation. He called for another man to escort you to your table.

Johnny was sitting at the table. Your intuition was right that night in Rome. You followed the dark-haired man at that time and he turned out to be the real Johnny Suh.

"Hi. You must be, y/n," he greeted, standing up to shake your hands. You accepted it and felt how small your palm was compared to his.

"Thanks for accepting my invitation," you began, sitting down after the waiter pulled out the chair for you.

"Thanks for asking me," he chimed.

You ordered food and chatted for a bit. He talks a lot while you observe him quietly. He was a bit different from what you thought he would be. You had based his being on the quality of his photography. They were taken with delicate care and attention, but the man before you seemed to be a little on the manlier side; macho, buff, and aloof. His build, his voice, and even his mannerisms. But then again, you know you shouldn't judge someone by their appearance.

"Thanks by the way. That night at the restaurant in Rome. You paid for my dinner."

He appeared to think but it didn't take him long. "Oh, the girl in the red dress? That was you?"

"Yes."

"I remember. I was with a friend, Jung Jaehyun. We met by chance in Rome so I told him I'd treat him dinner. Then he saw you there. You looked immaculate, by the way. That dress sure made heads turn. Mine included."

"Is that why you paid for my meal? You could have talked to me, then," you beamed.

"Well, not really. It was Jaehyun who liked you and he wanted to talk to you but he couldn't leave me so he decided to pay for you instead. I said I'd pay and that he should go talk to you."

"Oh, so that's what happened," you said, looking down at your food. You don't feel fulfilled or satisfied. In fact, you feel forced to be here, like you were complying with something even when this dinner was your idea in the first place.

"Did he?"

You were prompted from your thoughts. "What?"

"Did he talk to you at all?"

"Yeah. We talked. Actually, he brought me here. I really wanted to meet you."

"Really? I'm flattered. But what for?"

You didn't want to reveal more about the crazy soulmate thing to him so you cooked up an excuse. "I'm a fan of your work. I follow you on Instagram and I saw that you were here so I thought I'd meet you since I also happened to be around."

"Thanks, I really appreciate that. Although I mainly do photography as a hobby. My wife liked looking at pictures."

Your heart rate picked up pace. Weirdly though, you didn't feel any hint of sadness, rather, you were relieved to know he was unavailable. "You are married?"

"Were. She passed away a few years back." He saw your face turn pale. "Don't be sorry, I'm fine. I've moved on. However, I'm not in a position where I can entertain the possibility of a relationship. So, it might sound a bit obnoxious, but I hope you didn't find me for that."

"That's okay. I really just wanted to get to know you. My boss, Taeyong Lee, you know him right?"

"Right, Taeyong. Of course. You work for him?"

"Yes. I saw some of your pieces in our magazine. That's where I knew you from." You couldn't believe how you tormented Jaehyun for lying while here you are spouting lies to avoid embarrassing yourself. The situation may be minor on your part, but lying is still lying.

No, it was completely different. Johnny didn't need to know you obsess over his name through your teens. You needed to know if the person you almost hooked up with and threw your relationship with Eunwoo for was really Johnny. It was different and whatever Jaehyun's excuse was, he still did a terrible thing to you.

The dinner was nice. Despite the uncertainty you felt in the first part, he turned out to be fun to talk to. You agreed to take a walk by the beach, talking and laughing here and there while wrapped in his coat. He was mostly making jokes about crazy encounters overseas every year. He would ask about you too and you told him a few interesting things about you. He also discussed how he met his wife in Italy. Since then, they always visited the country. They both liked the sea at Amalfi and would always spend most of their vacation days here.

"Must be nice to be in love like that," you commented, just as you spotted the restaurant on your way back.

"It is. I was lucky to have experienced that kind of love."

"I know it's not my place to comment but I think you should try again. You know, maybe you'll find another woman who'd make you happy. Maybe you'll get to experience beautiful love again."

He chuckled. "You know sometimes I think she's up there saying the exact same thing."

"Really?"

"Yes. That's the kind of person she is. She wouldn't want me to be lonely because she's gone. That's why instead of grieving, I tried to live on. Now I am still reliving the times I spent with her, but, I'm doing it with a happy heart. If someone else comes to change my life forever the way she did, then, I'll welcome her with open arms."

You just smiled, nodding your head as you reached the stairs to the seawall. He offered his hand for you to hold on to and you gladly took it. When you reached the platform, you took off his coat and handed it back to him.

"I think we both know that someone is not me," you quipped and he tilted his head uncertainly.

"Well, you're a lovely woman and I would have fallen for you in no time but, nah. I don't think so," he said and you both laughed. "I'm big on soulmates and destiny. I like to believe that if she's the one, I would know. There has to be some sign or a feeling. I'm not sure, but I just know."

"You know that's funny because I actually came here to fulfill my destiny," you confessed, giggling at how ridiculous you sounded.

"You did?"

"Yeah, I was looking for my soulmate. I got his name when I was twelve and since then, I believed he's the one for me."

Johnny stops walking and stares at you. "Wait, don't tell me..."

You winced and gave him an embarrassed look. "Yeah. The Ouija board gave me your name."

His eyes widened and he covered his mouth with one hand, looking shocked but you knew he was just trying not to laugh.

"Don't laugh. I'm embarrassed enough."

He pursed his lips but you can still see the smile he was holding in. "I'm not judging."

You threw your head back to laugh. "It's ridiculous, isn't it? Now that I'm looking back on it, I think my friend or my sister might have been behind the whole thing."

"Hey, who knows? Maybe you were right to come here."

"No, Johnny. No offense, but I don't want to fill in for your great love."

Johnny laughed. "That's not what I was gonna say."

"Okay then sorry, go on."

"I'm saying, you came here looking for something. Now, it might have been me at first but the truth may be that you were chasing for your destiny. Maybe if you stuck around a bit longer, you'll find what you're looking for."

You caught a glimpse of Jaehyun on the restaurant's veranda, a glass of wine in his hand that he drank quickly when you caught him looking. He turned his back on you and pretended to talk to Andre and Jihyo. Not even a few seconds later, you caught him sneaking another peek and then looking away immediately.

"How do I say this, um... It was fate that brought you here, y/n. I'm sure she has big plans for you."

"Yes, I agree," you muttered, still watching Jaehyun from afar. You turned to Johnny. "Hey, listen."

"Hmmh?"

"Are you sure you're not just saying that to be a wingman for your friend?" you asked pointedly, a bit accusing but you were determined to know the truth.

"No. Which friend?" he asked. "I haven't met a friend who knows you."

"Jaehyun."

"Ah, Jaehyun? No. The last time I saw him was in Rome," he replied and then paused to think. "Didn't you say he was here too?"

"Yes."

Johnny perked up. "Great. We should meet for a drink."

"No need to call him. He's right there," you said, pointing at the restaurant. "Would you like to join us? We're here together with some friends."

"I would love to."

You climbed back up the restaurant to join your friends. You introduced Johnny to Jihyo and Andre, making sure to remind Jihyo not to act weird around him. You had drinks by the bar, chatting and laughing through the night. Jaehyun barely looked at you, his attention taken by Johnny and Andre who kept chatting him up about random things. All the while, you stood by, quietly joining in and laughing along while thinking hard about the Johnny Suh that you obsessed over, Jaehyun who you thought was Johnny, and the fate that brought the three of you here in the beautiful Amalfi.

"Are you okay?" Jihyo asked, noticing your silence.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," you replied. It wasn't even an excuse. You really were tired and hoped the night would end quickly.

"We can go back now if you want," Jihyo offered but you knew it was only because she was worried about you. While you appreciate that so much, you also don't want to ruin her night, especially after seeing how cozy she was with Andre.

"I'll be fine. I can go back by myself. Have fun though," you assured her and it took a bit of convincing before she agreed.

You slipped away quietly, not even bidding them goodbye and telling Jihyo to let them know instead. The stairs were winding and you felt dizzy as you walked up. You're not drunk yet, just a little tipsy from the wine. You huffed when you reached the second-floor landing. One more set of stairs and you'd reach your suite, so you inhaled and took another step. But you ended up losing balance on your heels and falling over. Your butt landed on the floor with a thud. It didn't hurt much though but you felt frustrated.

"Hey," came a voice from below, followed by rushed footsteps ascending the stairs. Jaehyun helped you up, looking worried. "What happened to you?"

"Your shoes are stupid," you grumbled, taking the shoes off and standing up with his help. "Why would you even give them to me?"

Jaehyun chuckled awkwardly. "I don't know. I saw them and thought you'd look great in them."

"Well, I did but they're crap," you huffed angrily.

Jaehyun just sighed as he walked up the stairs with you. "Was the date bad? You seem to be in a bad mood."

"No. The date was great. Johnny was a great guy. He's funny, he's nice, and he's honest," you ranted, emphasizing the honest part.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I really am. I brought you here to hopefully make it up with you. But seeing that you're still mad, I guess it didn't work."

You stopped in front of your room's door and faced him with a stern expression. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Like I said, I wanted to apologize."

You sighed. "By setting me up with your friend? I thought you're in love with me?"

"I am! But you're mad and it's because I messed up," he confessed, sighing in defeat. "So to apologize for wasting your time, here's Johnny Suh."

"But you're in love with me."

"That's true."

You sighed and dropped your purse to clutch his collar. Close to tears and frustrated, you asked, "Why would you set me up with him if you're in love with me?"

Jaehyun seemed taken aback as he held your elbows, confused by your actions and words. "Y/n, I..."

"You even bought me shoes," you spat. "What if we ended up liking each other? What if he really was my soulmate? Were you just gonna let me go?"

"Fuck, no! I'd fight him for you, y/n. I'd keep trying until you tell me to get lost. Hell, I'd even follow you back to Seoul and stop your wedding. If I lost you here, if I missed this chance, I would... I would..." he sighed, pulling you into a hug and burying his face in the crook of your neck. "I would never forgive myself."

You let him stay there, feeling the warmth from his body and his breath.

"I know how stupid it sounds to fall in love with someone so quickly, but I did. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I knew you were the one for me, I knew you're everything that was meant to be. And I'm sorry I lied but I did that because I was scared I'd lose you forever without even knowing your name. I'm sorry."

You pushed him away, gazing into his eyes and seeing sincerity there, mixed with emotion you couldn't fathom. You reached for his cheek, stepping closer to plant a kiss on his lips.

"Y/n..." he croaked but you silenced him by kissing him again. This time, when you were about to let go, he held your waist flush against him, making sure you didn't leave. He deepened the kiss, reeling you into a surge of sensations and emotions that clouded your head. When he pulled away for a brief moment to look into your eyes, you wanted to reach for him again, to feel him and be engulfed in his warmth again.

"Take me, Jaehyun," you pleaded and that made Jaehyun exhale sharply before holding your hand firmly and pulling you into his room.

Jaehyun basically kicked the door closed as soon as you were both inside, hands firm on your back and lips pressed onto yours. Your hands were busy unbuttoning his shirt, fumbling but succeeding when you had the entire shirt tossed on the floor. Jaehyun had struggled with the buttons on your back earlier and the sound of your dress being ripped made you pull away from him and gasp.

"Jaehyun!"

"Sorry, love. I'll get you a new one," he promised, pulling you back to his embrace to continue ravaging your lips. The back of his knees hit the bed so he sat down, pulling your leg up to make you straddle his lap. The kiss was intense, tongues clashing and teeth nipping on each other. His hand was firm on your back, unclasping your bra expertly and throwing it across the room. You then tilted your head when his kisses trailed down your neck until they reached your bosom. Moans escaped your lips as he suckled your breasts, playing with the other. The neediness started getting into your head so you bucked your hips on his erection, sending a surge of pleasure for the both of you. He let you do that for a moment while his mouth left bruises on your skin. You knew how it would look in the morning and you knew everyone would see it but you didn't mind. Your head started spinning at the mere thought of people finding out that Jaehyun had marked your body as his own.

With a swift movement, he pinned you on the bed, getting rid of your dress so you were naked underneath him. Then he muttered your name, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand. "You're so beautiful, it hurts."

You desperately took his hand and placed it on your bare breast. "Touch me, Jaehyun."

He palmed your breast, kneading firmly before diving in to suck your nipples. You moaned loudly, sending Jaehyun into a spiral that made him bite your bud. His hand then moved down from your boob, mouth still attached to it. He pulled your underwear down to touch your pussy, massaging the wetness that pooled there.

"Haven't we both been waiting for this?" he asked but you just whimpered under his touch. "Why did we even hold ourselves back?"

"Jaehyun!" you chided him for taking his time but it came out as a raspy moan, making his dick twitch in his boxers.

He cursed you as he reached for a pouch on his bedside table then pulled out a strip of condoms. You could hardly wait for him to tear open the packet so you sat up and pulled his boxers down, putting his dick in your mouth the moment it sprang free. Jaehyun let out a loud moan, surprised at your eagerness. He let you suck him for a while holding your head in place until you had your fill and stopped. He then pumped his cock a few times before encasing it in the condom.

"How are you so hot?"

"How are you still talking?" you retorted, falling back on the bed with a light bounce.

He prodded your entrance and slowly pushed inside. His length and girth made you moan as he adjusted in your clasp and you on his size. After a few slow movements to make sure he was positioned perfectly, he started thrusting at a steady pace, getting faster and faster as he went.

When you came here, you never imagined having sex with someone, not even the soulmate that you were desperately searching for. And Jaehyun, he's a stranger and even the way he makes you feel is new to you. You've always been the sensual kind, taking things slow and steady. Jaehyun was steady but strong. The force can be felt by your entire body and each thrust brings pain that is not doing anything to actually hurt you, instead, you crave more of it. You screamed for more of it, letting him break through you and use you to satiate his lust. The way he hits the tight spot drives you crazy and the way he's stretching you open feels elaborate and perfect.

"Oh my god, Jaehyun!" you screamed, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach. The clenching of your pussy made it known to him that you're close and your louder and more eager moaning is driving him to the edge too. His thrusts became harder and more erratic as he gripped your waist, chasing his orgasm until he bucked one hard thrust into you and kept it there. He groaned in satisfaction, arching his back with his eyes closed and mouth open.

"Fuck," he blurted, looking down at your fucked out expression and grinning. He leaned to kiss your forehead so you smiled.

"Hey," you said weakly, out of breath and out of energy.

You chased your breath some more as he thrust a few more times before he pulled out and collapsed next to you. The sound of panting filled the room as the air of lust dissipated. He glanced at you and you glanced back, laughing at each other, both drunk on orgasm.

Two years later, you were standing in front of a podium, facing the person who would be officiating your wedding. After simple vows thanking fate for bringing you together, you stamped your seals on a piece of paper and sealed it with a kiss. Both of your friends and family were present to share this beautiful day with you. Even Andre Marchetti, who turned out to be the son of the Italian shoemaker who was Jaehyun's nemesis. He and Jihyo ended their fling right before you left Italy two years ago but he still got invited for playing a huge part in your crazy love story. Cha Eunwoo was present too, with his wife and beautiful baby girl. You became good friends after the amicable breakup and he even got married before you. Everything is in its rightful place, as you like to put it. After everything, you still held on to the destiny that governed your life. Wherever or whenever you get lost, you believe you and Jaehyun will find each other, as destiny willed it.

"Oh, it's Johnny Suh. The soulmate she was raving about for years," said Jihyo, pointing at you across the hall, talking to Johnny. "Looks like he played a completely different role in her destiny."

"Johnny Suh? Why does that name sound familiar?" Your sister wondered, tapping her glass as she too stared at the guy greeting you and Jaehyun.

"The soulmate from the Ouija board? Remember?"

Your sister gasped. "Oh, yeah. The one I made up!" she snorted.

"What?" Jihyo questioned, confused.

"Johnny Suh. I made it up. I didn't even think hard about it, I just randomly came up with that name."

"No. You couldn't have. I was there too."

"Yeah and you were both dumb enough to freak out over moving glass so I kept messing with you all," she laughed, taking a sip from her glass.

"Do you have any idea how she held on to that name her whole life? She even looked up every single Johnny Suh on the internet believing he was her soulmate!"

"Of course I have! I've seen it and at the time, it was so funny. She stopped doing it though so I thought she was over all that."

Jihyo sighed in exasperation. "Eonnie, we literally flew to Italy for that. That's how she met Jaehyun."

"No, you did not!"

"We did. Now she believes that the Ouija board told her to meet Johnny so he could bring her to Jaehyun, her real soulmate."

"Oh my poor sister," she winced. "Who's gonna tell her?"

"Don't tell her," Jihyo chided, shaking her head. "She'd freak and she might hate you forever. I've seen something quite similar."

You may have been oblivious to this conversation between your sister and your bestfriend, but who's to say your sister's innocent little prank wasn't destiny's design as well?

[fin]

#nct x you #nct jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #nct au #nct smut #nct fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff

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that-ari-blogger · 2 months

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Witch Side Are They On? (Young Blood, Old Souls)

Hero and villain are nebulous terms, the definitions of which can be taken to mean literally any character. Although, almost everyone knows one when they see one. It's a vibes based classification. Nobody is trying to argue that The Joker is a paragon hero (except some people), for example.

Certain characters break from the mould, with some protagonists displaying more morally challenged motivations or methods, some villains being redeemed, and some "morally grey" heroes ending up being written as power fantasies and you can usually tell when that happens.

I find the classification of characters rather redundant, as people have a habit of being complex. Sure, I have met people who fit stereotypes to a tea, but they are the exception not the rule, and the more you get to know someone, the less tropey they seem to you.

So, instead, I would like to examine the actions that The Owl House frames as evil, as well as the point at which the series decides a character is no longer redeemable.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (The Owl House)

Because good and bad are subjective, and this is the internet, I am going to define heroic and villainous actions in this context as "behaviours that The Owl House presents as desirable and undesirable" respectively. Knowledge, expression and kindness are heroic in this context, and willful ignorance, cruelty, and repression are villainous. Ok?

These themes are really well emphasised by the light and dark motif going on. Luz's name literally means light, and she is very much associated with that concept through her magic.

Compare that to Belos, who has managed to spend the entirety of the series up to this point either in literal shadows or figurative ones. We haven't seen him outside in the daylight; we haven't even seen what he looks like yet. The man exists in darkness.

What I mean by this, is light reveals, shadows conceal. A light can bring hope, show you the way out, or let you glimpse the beauty of an artwork, if someone keeps you in darkness, your eyes will adjust eventually, but you won't be seeing the full thing.

Now, here's a question: what exactly is Lilith's motivation? The flashback gives her a history, and shows her actions and sacrifices, but it doesn't redeem her by any stretch of the imagination.

Lilith made a sacrifice for power. She has been chasing Eda because of Belos, and we will get to that. But the curse was her own misdeed, and I think its fascinating how the concept of willful ignorance plays into that.

"I thought it would just be for a day."

Now, I don't know what was on that scroll. Maybe it came with a sticky note that says, "guaranteed 24-hour magic removal or your money back". But, it takes some serious mental gymnastics to decide that the thing you wanted to do because you wanted to do it with someone was worth sacrificing that someone to achieve.

And when the curse turned Eda into the beast, it never occurred to Lilith to tell anyone. I think providing evidence of the magic that caused it might have helped to fix it, but Lilith kept it a secret.

Also, if you see a system that outcasts your closest family member and TURNS PEOPLE IT DOESN'T LIKE TO STONE, and you devote yourself to upholding that system "because of all the good it does", you are deliberately ignoring some major factors.

So, Lilith engages with the theme on two fronts, she keeps the world in the dark about her own actions, and she actively ignores things about the world she is in, and that is the key here. Lilith is presented as highly intelligent and rational, but someone the clever should surely notice some things that she very much doesn't. Which leads me to believe that she is either unintelligent and rational, or intelligent and irrational.

I don't think Lilith is a villain in the series, entirely. I think she is an antagonist, and thematically opposed to the heroes. But the motivation for the specific acts of antagonism are, fundamentally, altruistic. She wants to heal her sister. The problem is that being motivated by guilt and compassion doesn't square with the actions she has taken to get to this position. So naturally, she ignores the incongruities until she runs face first into them, and her redemption comes later through her actions and decisions to seek out and understand.

Belos plays an interesting role in this as well. I mentioned in my previous post that Belos manipulates her agency out from underneath her, and I stand by that here for two reasons. 1) Belos is the system she has bought into. He has directly and intentionally, through propaganda, convinced a world that wild magic is bad and that sacrifices must be made. 2) He found a woman who was conflicted about her actions and saw a way to get rid of the most powerful witch in the boiling isles.

So, Belos too features the theme of wilful ignorance, imposing it on the boiling isles, and making use of Lilith's blind spot to further his own goals.

I've mentioned Belos' restriction of expression in the past multiple times, but there is one more of the core themes that the emperor engages with, and I think the way in which he does that is rather funny. Belos is cruel, and it is constantly tripping him up.

So, what spur's Lilith's redemption? She gets shown her actions are wrong immediately after performing them, so it can't be realisation. So, what is it that prompts her to reconsider her life choices? What causes the leader of the coven heads to bail? Lilith backs out of the coven system because Belos is a jerk.

Belos could have kept the manipulation going. He could have said that he tried and failed to heal Eda's curse. He could have said that Eda attacked him and left him no choice. But instead, he decided to gloat.

"Ah, taking her to the healing ceremony?" "I will not be healing her." "But, you, promised me." "Don't be so naïve, Lilith."

This isn't even the only time the man's desire to gloat self-sabotages him in this episode. So, let's get to that fight scene.

"Okay, I'll play."

I feel the need to point out that Belos wins the fight part of this scene hands down. I recommend UnholyBasil's excellent video on this scene, but suffice to say, anyone with the power to instantly quadruple the animation budget for a moment is a terrifying threat, and Belos is definitely that.

Up until now, the emperor was just an ideological roadblock. The antagonist has been the coven system and the Emperor's Coven that want to restrict magic. Belos has simply been the guy at the head, the one Luz must symbolically defeat.

But now, Belos barely has to lift a finger, and Luz is on the back foot. She can't even touch him. And that is the key to why the ending of the fight is so cool. Belos is untouchable, emotionally and physically, so Luz does both. She puts a crack in his armour, not enough to defeat him, but enough to break the facade he has put up and make him look like an Undertale character.

Remember what I said about self-sabotage? Well, it happens again here. Here is someone who is trying to kill Belos, someone with magic that he has seen. And he decides to waltz up to her and present his face as a target, just because he wants to needle at her mind, the man would have succeeded had he been intelligent.

That is my takeaway from Belos. He is an eejit with delusions of grandeur. Don't get me wrong, the man is a decent manipulator, but his inability to look past himself and his need to be cruel repeatedly puts a dampener on his whole mastermind shtick.

Also, he didn't think to check for the obvious glyphs on the side of the suitcase he was given, he just assumed he had won and didn't feel the need to make sure. Are we sure this guy is clever and not just charismatic?

Now, I haven't talked about Luz or Eda much, and I think it's time to rectify that.

Lilith's character design is a mirror of her sister's. She is restricted in her dress, and perfectly symmetrical. Eda meanwhile is unkempt and wild, with the torn outfit making her look unbalanced and volatile.

The Clawthorn sisters also have a Red Oni, Blue Oni motif going on between them, a trope about characters with a duality to them that has shades of colour symbolism and mythology thrown in for spice.

According to TV Tropes:

"The Red Oni is associated with passion, wildness, and defiance. The red oni character is often more brawny than brainy, extroverted, enthusiastic, determined, and filled with a zest for life. They are also much more likely to break conventions and rules than their counterpart."

Meanwhile:

"The Blue Oni is associated with serenity, control, and observing authority. A Blue Oni is more intellectual, proud, traditional, introverted, and cultured."

I those two don't sum up Eda and Lilith respectively, I don't know what does. And if you have been paying attention, the colour symbolism there appears in the designs of the two. Lilith bears more cool colours, with the blueish hair, eyes, and gem, while Eda scraps all subtlety and just wears red and orange.

So, Eda and Lilith represent two ends of the spectrum, chaotic and lawful. But its notable that when Lilith gets redeemed, she doesn't lose the logical, heavily rationalised mindset, she loses the restrictions. She ends up being free to be whomever she wants, and that person doesn't have to be as overtly wild as her sister.

Luz and Belos, however, are extremely similar characters, with one Luz and Belos, however, are extremely similar characters, with one main difference. One is kind, one is cruel. In terms of character mechanics (how they approach problems), that is the main difference. The rest of their actions come as a result of this dichotomy. Both have a form of main character syndrome, for example, but where Luz wants an adventure and to save the world, Belos wants to remake the world in his own image.

I'm not saying they are identical, or that they are the same character, I am saying that they are similar except for the most fundamental of points, derived from this difference of kindness vs cruelty. All of the lessons that Luz learns but Belos ignores, come from selflessness, all the differences come from expanding out this over and over again until you get a hero and a megalomaniac.

They are both charisma-based artificers, but they have different alignments, and that has led to them making different choices, and leading different stories that have clashed with each other. They started in a similar place, but because of the one difference, their paths diverged wildly.

Final Thoughts

Belos is a villain who would be right at home with Wiley Coyote if he wasn't so terrifying and megalomaniacal, because he cannot stop bringing about his own downfall in spectacular fashion.

I wanted to find the Tolkien quote about evil destroying itself for this post, but instead I found something that sums up The Owl House really well.

"You have to understand the good in things, to detect the real evil."

Tolkien was a man who fought in both the first and second World Wars, including the battle of the Somme, and yet he was a profoundly optimistic man, as well as being a realist. His most famous work is about someone small accomplishing a great thing against all the odds because evil cannot comprehend the simple acts of kindness.

That, transformed by generations of nerds, has resulted in The Owl House, where a villain, by dint of being clad in gold, can only shine by reflecting the light of the protagonist. And he cannot comprehend the simple kindness of community, and harmony.

Light, do not faulter.

Next week, I am diving straight into the next season, with Separate Tides, and the introduction of the woobie, so stick around if that interests you.

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#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #character analysis #what's so special about...?#the owl house #toh #toh belos #the owl house belos #emperor belos #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #toh lilith #young blood old souls

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lemonhemlock · 2 months

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Hiiiii hope you're having a good day/night 💛

I was looking into dragon lore ... and wondered whould it be possible for someone who's not a Targaryan to ever hatch a dragon going through a similar ritual that Danenerys did? Because the Targaryan's aren't the only one's with Valyrian blood there are still folks in Lys/the free cities that have it.

And also I never quite managed to figure out how Danenerys actually did get three dragons like was it because in a way she sacrificed three things ? ( Mirri Maz Durr, Drogo and Rhaego ) Or was it just regular ASOIAF magic.

Hi there 🌞

Well, yes, I think it would be possible for someone to initiate the dragon creation process by engaging in the same practices the Valyrians of old did. There is no consensus in the ASOIAF universe as to how dragons came to be and there probably never will be, as it is in the author's best interest to keep the mythos vague and present several possibilities. As such, some say seem to say dragons were natural creatures that simply appeared at some point, while others insist they were man-made somehow. I personally think that Septon Barth presents the most plausible explanation: that the Valyrians experimented with (fire)wyverns and created dragons, binding themselves to them in the process. It's hard to say how long this process took, whether it could be accomplished by a single person in a lifetime or whether you need an actual community for resource purposes. Most likely, these practices would involve something sinister like (repeated) blood sacrifices or horrific experiments like mating with humans and the like. My thesis regarding this is that, in order to access supernatural powers and transcend humanity, you also have to shed some of that (if not all) humanity in the process.

All the same, we don't know specific details, such as the exact nature of this bond between dragons and riders. Valyrians may have been one race of people, but the there were many other Valyrian dragon-riding families, not just the Targaryens. So would it be enough just to be a person of Valyrian descent in other to hatch a dragon? I'm not sure. I tend to believe that the Valyrian dragon-riding families bonded the dragons to their bloodline specifically, to ensure that those dragons did not answer to non-family members and did not / could not get expropriated somehow. I find this theory more satisfying because it explains the practice of incest in Valyrian society: this is not a practice that the Targaryens just resorted to because they lost the lore and needed to keep themselves bonded to dragons (by 'keeping their blood pure' etc etc), it's a custom they brought with them from Valyria. So what would be the point of practicing incest in a society of dragon-riders if you make sure you have children with other dragon-riders anyway? Wouldn't it be redundant? Just being extra fucked up for the sake of it? They must have been getting something out of it.

My suggestion is that, in this manner, they ensured the entire wealth (including dragons) remained in the family. So the way I see it is that they could have performed their atrocities to change wyverns into dragons and, once transformed, those dragons were bonded to specific individuals and only those who had a blood link to those individuals could, at a later date, attempt to control them. Those dragons could go on laying eggs, which could be used for later generations. And if somehow they ran out of eggs and dragons, I guess they could re-create the original rituals and acquire new ones. Anyway, it is suggested that the Valyrians knew much more about keeping dragons under their control and probably knew what to do to keep themselves out of these unpleasant scenarios. But I don't think that rider-less dragons or expropriated eggs could be brought over to another family, because otherwise everyone would be trying to steal and seize each other's dragons and their society would have collapsed much sooner due to this chaotic in-fighting. And we know that didn't happen; they had a functioning society for many centuries and only disappeared as a result of a natural disaster, so there must have been some fail-safes in places.

In any case, when they ruled over Westeros, this was not a problem the Targaryens had to contend with, since they were the only dragon-riding family left. So, since a lot of knowledge from Old Valyria was lost, they resorted to incest, because this was the only way they knew how to keep themselves bonded to the dragons they had left. And all the Targaryen dragons came from eggs hatched by other Targaryen dragons anyway.

So, to come back to the question: could some other person of Valyrian descent hatch Dany's dragons? There is a popular theory that Dany's eggs are Dreamfyre's - the ones Elissa Farman stole. If that is the case, maybe they could be hatched by someone descended from Targaryen bastards, otherwise I don't think so.

As for Daenerys, there is this tendency of Dany-critical people to swing so much to the critical side that they start pretending that she isn't special in any way or that Targaryens are just like any regular person down the street, which is categorically not the case. The author very much intended for Dany to be a super special princess with magical powers. I've spilt more than enough ink on this already, but I think that Dany just bingo-ed into a series of perfect circumstances - yes, the fact that she is a Targaryen with both her parents and grandparents as sibling sets factors into it and, yes, the fact that she literally performed a blood sacrifice led to the hatching. So, the way I see it, is that the right ritual was performed by the right person.

As for why she got three whole eggs to hatch instead of just one - well, we don't really know. Maybe GRRM didn't really think it through and built up the rest of the lore later and it just contradicts a little because of that. Maybe she really just intended Dany to be super special. I tend to favour this one because she does, indeed, seem to be bonded to Rhaegal and Viserion, too, not just Drogon. They listen to her and she seems able to control them somewhat and they also don't hurt her.

Her sacrificing three people in exchange for three dragons could also work, but, if you think about it, Rhaego and Drogo were already dead by the time she lit the pyre; only Mirri was actually sacrificed. Maybe the number of eggs is not correlated with the number of sacrifices? Maybe it was also the fact that she stepped into the pyre herself? Dany is very much framed as a prophetic chosen-one figure, so her accomplishing feats of magic that no one else can do is to be expected to some extent.

#ask #anon #dragon lore #anti valyria #anti daenerys targaryen #<- for filtering purposes #you know the drill

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bells-of-black-sunday · 2 months

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

Cut for length

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? Well- I started off as a single muse blog as a human version of Thresh from league way before they updated his lore and kept kicking him even though he's already a redundant character lore wise now, but this blog was made for my bloodmoon Thresh who would alter become Yijun. Then I became a multi-muse to add some more of my ocs I really wanted to write and well here we are now. More specifically for my main muses, I started writing Tar as soon as he hit ptb to be honest. I just really resonated with his lore and it gave me an excuse to research things about the time period he's from, I think his lore leaves a lot to reading between the lines to see what's actually true and I was pleasantly surprised when his tome came out and it confirmed a lot of what I was already thinking. Though with Ghostface it was more so me really enjoying the concept of him as a character, a person who just so seamlessly blends into society he basically can get away with whatever he wants. While I had a number of HCs before his tome that ultimately had to be scrapped, I do really enjoy it and him more as a character.

is there anything you don’t like to write? I really do not like one-liners, I get bored so fast with them. I like writing things where there's continuity between what happened and the next our muses speak. And I feel like one-liners specifically just don't really allow that to happen.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? Oh I love writing when characters talk about their morals or ethics, I love the constant cat and mouse of trying to figure out what flavor of fucked up they're dealing with.

how do you come up with headcanons? Mostly depends on the character, with Tar I'll read about something that happened in his time period and be like "Oh hey he probably had to deal with that, how would he have dealt with it?" and a lot is just what I can muse over in my head can roll over for a while to talk about in a meaningful way. Not that I don't enjoy silly dumb HCs, but I'm less inclined to write about what a muses favorite ice cream flavor is vs their family history.

do you write in silence or do you play music? For the life of me I cannot write with music playing whether its bg ambiance or not, I can't do it, it's too distracting to me.

do you plan your replies or wing them? Really depends on the reply. If it's a thread that's really important to my muse and how they'll be written with another char moving forward? I think about it a lot. If it isn't and it's just a first meeting or something, I don't very much.

do you enjoy shipping? I enjoy shipping, but I a willing to admit I am absurdly picky. I prefer writing platonic relationships to romantic ones for the most part to be honest. For me to be invested in a romantic ship I have to know the other mun and talk to them regularly, I've been spoiled too much me thinks.

what’s your alias/name? Spük / Spooky / Spooks / etc.

age? 23

birthday? 01/01

favorite color? Black/white and on that spectrum just because they make every other color stand out more tbh

favorite song? Oh it changes a lot, but right now I'm really enjoying: One More Soul To The Call

last movie you watched? Talk To me - I'm pretty sure? Or at least its the one I can remember, it's a incredible movie even if it's a bit intense.

last show you watched? Mlp FIM, it's such a nostalgia show for me I've been enjoying sharing with with Egg. It's the absurd concepts it introduces that really get me.

last song you listened to? Feed Me with Your Heart - Ponyphonic

favorite food? I really enjoy mussels.

favorite season? Fall.

do you have a Tumblr best friend? Staring directly at @witchcraftandburialdirt fr fr

Tagged by: @mxlevolence (Thank you!!! <3) Tagging: Anyone who hasn't been tagged idk who hasn't-

#ooc #/dash games

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lumpsbumpsandwhumps · 5 months

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I personally use "creepy/intimate whumper" like "ATM machine": a single full phrase that may be a little redundant but catches people who don't know the M already means Machine, so to speak (though I think "intimate" is the more useful of the two words since a lot of horror is "creepy" in a lot of ways that Aren't That, and some whump at the intersection of the venn diagram with horror can be those too).

Or maybe it's more like "naan bread"? Some people just use creepy, some other people they've never met just say intimate, someone reads both their works by chance and figures whatever *they* go on to write is something both those (seemingly, but probably not really) separate audiences would like. Bread a la India, creepy a la intimate.

"Yandere", however, I think very much has romantic connotations. I'm sure it's occasionally used elsewhere, but I wouldn't personally unless that's the precedent I want to promise I'm following (I don't...want people to read my distinctly parental/teacher-flavored whumper as romantic, for example. you can say "it's already fucked up, what's the harm, we're all freaks here" all you like, but it's less that and more wanting my boundaries to be respected - which seems to be the case with many people who harp on their work not being viewed as A Sex Thing even if you the reader are turned on by it - it's projecting an *intention* they *do not have*, and then often subsequently insisting that they're "just in denial" or "lying" when they clarify that intention, which is ABSOLUTELY crossing a boundary).

Vibes-wise also I feel there's a sense of scope to it? Like when I hear "yandere" I imagine a focus on the initial meeting and/or "falling in love" (whether or not it's romantic), the stalking/obsession before you get to Kidnapping Classic or full-scale murder (if ever), the victim/"love interest" having time or at least a chance to interact with people the yandere sees as rivals for their affection before (again, if) they decide that can't be allowed to continue...like if the story starts and they're already in captivity I wouldn't call it yandere unless it's romantic.

TLDR I think creepy vs intimate is somewhere between convergent game of telephone and concentric circles on a venn diagram (with "intimate" encompassing well enough what people tend to mean), but "yandere" is at least arguably its own circle. Probably nested inside both "creepy" and "intimate", but not including all of what either of those means.

See, I dunno, in my beautiful smooth brain I still just can't grasp the difference between yandere and intimate whumper (since we all seem to be in agreement that creepy/intimate whumper are close enough to the same thing). To me, they're both the same vibe of "some kind of attraction being forced onto whumpee that also causes physical/emotional distress", which is then a catchall for romantic, platonic, and/or sexual interest that a whumper might have. Yandere I would say has the broader scope of what type of attraction it could be, whereas intimate whumper is romantic/sexual (not platonic).

But I've also been into yandere for years so I'm used to all the flavors it comes in, like familial love or romantic love or protective/obsessive love or best friend love -- it's just any kind of love sickness, not necessarily romantic 100% of the time (although that's typically the majority). People who aren't into the yandere scene probably assume that's the only vibe it comes in though, so I can see why they would think that's exclusively where it falls and don't consider it to align with other tags. Similar to how some yanderes can be soft and sweet with their darling, while others can still be just as cruel and painful, which is where the "intimate whumper" falls into place.

Anyways for the most part I'm pretty sure we're in agreement that there's a good amount of overlap between the three tags (:

#ask #anon

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gotshadowbanned-feralfungii · 10 months

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I dunno if anyone else had this experience growing up but as a kid with a mental disability, I often found that adults seemed to consider accommodations to be akin to training wheels. Like, if they just let me get used to the task I was struggling with while using accommodations, they could eventually take those accommodations away and I'd still be able to perform the task. I feel like it's redundant to say that was never how it played out. (Putting the rest under a cut bc this got longer than intended.)

For example, I always struggled to keep things organized, keep track of items, times, events, anything. That was one of my symptoms, though just about every adult treated it as a willful lack of care or deliberate disrespect for their time. At one point, my school hired an additional guidance counsellor to take time out of class with me and other students who struggled with this to help us keep track of things.

And the thing is: It worked. While he was helping me, I lost things less, my papers and textbooks and bag were more organized than they'd ever been in my life, and I was doing really well with the accommodation provided. Having someone who would check in with me daily about the things my brain just couldn't hold onto made a world of difference, and it was such a relief. I wasn't being yelled at about it anymore, I wasn't losing things, and I wasn’t getting frustrated with myself.

The problem is, the school and my parents didn't consider this to be a result of accommodations making things doable for me. They saw it as the accommodations "teaching" me how to do all this myself, despite the fact that the way my brain was structured meant I literally could not achieve these successes to such a degree by myself no matter how well I understood the strategies. So, they took the accommodation away once they saw the improvements, figuring that meant I didn't need them anymore.

I backslid right back to square one. Only worse, because now I knew what it was like to be able to keep track of things better, and I was even more frustrated than before. I kept buying into what the adults were telling me, that if I did it with the counsellors help then that proved I should be able to do it on my own if I just tried hard enough. So, I tried, and tried, and tried, and I failed every fucking time. Every time.

And the yelling started again, the same lectures as before, only now with an added layer. "You were doing so well when he was helping you, and now you've let yourself fall right back into the same bad habits! You need to be more mindful! You'll never amount to anything like this, you'll never be able to function properly in the real world!" And yeah, functioning in real world would be just about impossible for me... without accommodations, and medication.

I still do really, really well when I have the accommodations and medication I need. I still end up back where I started when I don’t have those accommodations or my meds. Now, as an adult, I have more control over those accommodations, but as a kid they were entirely under someone else's control, and they just took them away when they personally felt I no longer needed them without ever talking to me and asking me how I felt about it. My perspective was never once considered.

Like I said, I don't know if this is a common experience for people who grew up with disabilities that were severe enough to impact their life but could be chalked up by the adults around them as just a failure to put in effort. I hope not, since I know how bad it fucked me up. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I spent almost two decades after that experience hating myself, furious with myself, demanding of myself why I couldn't just do better like everyone insisted I could. I felt like a failure, and instead of coming to terms with the limitations of my disability and learning to work around them, I started to consider my disability to be a personal failing, something I had done to myself and could stop at any time if I just tried hard enough.

I even started insisting I didn't have ADHD, even when my doctor insisted I matched up with way too many symptoms for it to be a coincidence. I bought into the narrative I'd been sold, that the fact I was able to perform certain tasks with help meant I didn't really struggle with ADHD, no, it meant that I was lazy. I used other reasons to back up this idea, I had bad side effects to the very first medication I was tried on and convinced myself it was proof that my teachers and parents had been right and it wasn't really ADHD, just a personal flaw. The logic was absolute nonsense, but I was young and knew nothing about how mental conditions and medications work.

I allowed myself to be medicated for depression and anxiety, because my symptoms there were so drastic that none of the adults around me could claim I didn't need help. I was unwell in a way that was obvious and easy to see and easy to recognize as unwell. Not to mention, I was old enough by the time those two diagnoses came along that I no longer took to heart everything people around me said. Yes, it still had a negative impact on me if people acted like I could just cheer up or calm down, but there's a difference between insecurities developed as a teen and deep-seated seeds planted as a child.

So, I kept trying to white-knuckle my way out of ADHD until this year. I am currently 26. I spent almost two decades denying treatment and insisting I could overcome my issues by sheer force of will. I struggled to hold down jobs, I barely managed to get a college degree, relationships were negatively impacted, my other conditions were made worse by it, and the whole while I held onto the belief that it was all my own fault to begin with and so I shouldn't take resources from people who "actually" struggle with ADHD.

I don't know how much longer I would've kept that up, if my therapist hadn't convinced me to make an appointment with a specialist. Now, I'm on a different medication than the one I'd tried as a kid, and it makes a world of difference. Now, I know what sort of accommodations I need to be able to function as closely to "normal" as I can manage. Now, I have systems to help me with my memory, and while I'm still disorganized my medication makes it easier to keep things in order. All of these things that made my life hell every single day for almost twenty years, and it was all entirely treatable.

I kind of got off track here but yeah, I don't think children's struggles are taken seriously enough, accommodations shouldn't be treated like training wheels that you can just pull out from under someone when you decide they probably don't need it, and both of those issues can cause significant harm for huge chunks of a person's life. Almost 20 years ago I did well with help, had the help taken away, and was told it was my fault that I started doing poorly again without help. I trusted the adults lecturing me and for almost 20 years, I punished and scolded myself for symptoms instead of treating them, because punishment and scolding was what I had been repeatedly told would "fix" me.

Listen to kids when they say something is beyond them, as even if it isn't beyond them, the fact that they feel like that is important and could alert you to a deeper cause of their struggles. If you want to alter or take away the accommodations a child is receiving, maybe actually discuss it with them first no matter how convinced you are that they don't need it. You aren't them, and no matter how hard you try, you won't always know best. And if you had experiences like this as a kid, I'm sorry. If you're like me and you internalized the idea that you don’t need help but you just need to stop being a fuckup... Please know, you aren't a fuckup. You aren't just lazy. You deserved help then, and you deserve help now. I hope you can eventually access the sort of assistance that was kept from you.

#personal ramblings #you ever remember something you havent thought about for years #and then realize it is almost certainly directly connected to certain issues you have?#yeah that's me rn

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crownamedblue · 7 months

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It was night, and the sky was black. Not with clouds, nor smoke, nor smog, yet the sky was black nonetheless. I was surprised by this, but not for the reasons you might expect. Let me explain: when one walks through an arch woven of vine, in a place where there should be neither vines nor arch, one should not be surprised to find oneself in a strange land, which follows rules more akin to rhyme then to reason. Well, you might be surprised, but I was looking for this sort of thing. I did not know where I was going, but I was quite sure I didn't want to stay where I was. Understand, I knew what I was getting into, I knew I was going to a place not unlike wonderland or the fae kingdoms. I knew this was a place of magic, that was what drew me here. When the sun dipped below the horizon and red faded to black, I honestly expected there to be two moons, or perhaps that a star would saunter down for a chat. This was not the case, however. The night sky was crystal clear and devoid of all light. It terrified me.

After walking through that archway, I found myself in a clearing. More specifically, I was in a mushroom circle, which sat in the center of a perfectly circular grove of aspen. This was unexpected but not unwelcome- it made sense in a backwards sort of way. I was still in the woods when night fell, and the utter absence of the heavens was far more unexpected and very much unwelcome. I don't know why it bothered me as much as it did, but when I finally found a village, it was one of the first questions I asked. Apparently, many wanderers find themselves here, and they were unbothered by my questions. This is not to say that they bothered themselves to answer them: their livelihoods need tending to and there too much to do to answer the questions of a traveler. I was assured that I could ask them again later, when their work was done, and was directed to the elders, who were far less busy. That seemed fair enough, and I followed their directions until I made my way to what appeared to be an unlit bonfire. Despite the lack of flame, the elders were already sitting around it. They offered me a seat, and I began to learn the way of the world.

Night fell, the pyre was lit, and the villagers set down their tools. I had so many questions at that point, that I had yet to ask about the emptiness above. I asked the villagers over dinner. They didn't know much, but seemed satisfied with the answers they had: "the black merchant always delivers", they said, convinced that any further details were redundant and unworthy of their time. The elders, who I found my way to next, told me their stories, but each one tells it differently and few details were the same. Their stories were little more than wives-tales and folk-lore, yet one thing was constant: the black merchant always delivers. There was one more person I could have asked, but I hadn't known about them yet. I would know everything I wished, and all they want is a part of my story and a meal to eat. Should you find yourself here, I would recommend against contacting The Storyteller. I've found it is best not to garner the attention of the Pattern of Things unless you wish to be written into or out of it. Besides, I have a feeling that they'd have much of the same to say: the black merchant always delivers.

The elders did agree on a few things, however. From what I gathered, there once was a man, who was two parts odd and one part charming. There was once a woman, who was two parts charming and one part odd. There was much love between them, then a death. A mask is made, then a knife, then the story rewinds a bit. The woman, much younger now, makes a deal with a masked figure. The deal was kept, until it wasn't, and a cloak was formed from the aftermath. The deal was broken by the woman, of course, for the Black Merchant always delivers.

#working on a pt 2 lol #the black merchant always delivers #crowfeatherquill #my writing

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gothicprep · 2 years

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i'll shut up about it after this, but i think they did write themselves into a corner with lalo a little bit. sort of what you end up with when the whole thesis of your show is more or less the tragedy of inevitability, but there's a guy in the mix who doesn't seem to have a fatal flaw that's as fully realized in the same way.

like, he's very blatantly evil, but he doesn't have a distinct weakness that would tie into any potential narratively satisfying ending for him.

jimmy is greedy, kim is self righteous, hector is sadistic, gus is obsessed with revenge. but where does lalo really fit into this? i don't think it's fair to say arrogance, based on his capabilities. he cares a lot about his family, but that's also the case with nacho and mike, and you can't give 3 characters that without getting a bit redundant.

i've seen people make the case of lalo as judas in opposition to nacho as a christ figure, but i don't know how that line of cultural shorthand figures to "he gets shot by gus and gets buried under the meth lab with howard"

idk, still hung up on "two guys lead very different lives and still get buried in the same hole" feeling a bit like a wasteful end for him

#better call saul spoilers #bcs spoilers #abqniverse posts

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bradenthompson · 2 years

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I Gouf'd It or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chrome Marker (Part 2)

oops, posting part 2 kinda got away from me. But here we are, and the MG Gouf 2.0 has been finished to my own level of satisfaction (barring a second topcoat I may or may not do)

I noticed part 1 doesn't really attempt to "review" the kit, only because it's so old and plenty of reviews exist already, but I'll give my opinion all the same. Bit of a copout verdict here, stop me if you've heard this: "it's great if you're into this sort of thing." Nah but really, I do ultimately like it with a few caveats. For one thing, I think the presence of a real inner frame makes it instantly a better kit than the older and arguably more dated Mg Gouf Custom. Even if you prefer the look of the custom, it's hard to argue that specific kit is better built than this one. Build-wise, it felt very familiar to the Zaku ii I've already done, and that's because the inner frames are near-identical. But it's different enough that the build never feels painfully redundant.

Panel Lining/Decals

Panel lining on Zeon suits is a Less Is More type deal for me. With a few exceptions like the Geloog, I think the dumpy, massive surface level armor plates are what sell the Zeon suit designs. It makes sense in the way nonexistent giant robot armor makes sense; these are mass produced and aren't gonna have infinite complexities to them as a result. They're armored in the way this type of thing would be armored, what panel lines do exist sell how such a thing would be maintained and repaired, [third point to distract from the fact I don't know how to scribe goes here].

You'll notice in the finger vulcan more than anywhere else, my workaround for this is in the specific points where armor tapers into an edge. I elected to highlight these in black, using an acrylic paint marker I had lying around. Also noticeable in the shoulders and behind the knee.

I have another technique when it comes to decals, and I call it "using all of them." In most cases, I do exactly this but here I only use about 90% of what's assigned. idk bro, I think it works on Zeon suits like nothing else. I'm even proud of my dry transfer work, of which this kit has a few in places similar to the MG Zaku ii. Corporal ranking badges go on both shoulders, but I opted for only one. I do like me some asymmetry where it's tasteful.

Take note of the decal on the left shoulder, where I fucked up the transfer and there's a section cut short, and see that Gouf is clearly self-conscious about it. Sorry, little man, that one's on me.

You gotta take the good with the bad. And oh hey speaking of bad, this is the type of kit where a lot of joints crapped out on me. The right knee is loose, the left elbow is oddly tight, the left shoulder can't hold the shield at any angle over 45 degrees, the right thumb broke off entirely and, most frustratingly of all, a piece in the head broke off to the point of the head and neck no longer fitting tightly together. Some topcoating alleviated this somewhat but still, at the right angle or with the right unintentional finger push, the head's coming off. At a resting position this isn't an issue, and will not be for most of this guy's life as a model, not an action figure, but it bothers me all the same.

Topcoat Finale

I do the best poses, as you can clearly see.

The chrome joints lost a lot of their luster in the topcoat, which I'm fine with. With a matte finish, I think it looks just lovely. I still may go back and do a second coat, but as it stands I'm very happy with my work. No weathering this time around, I wanted to sell the "New and Improved" factor when posed next to my Zaku, which you'll note I have already gotten to doing.

Looks like that's it for the Gouf. Part of me wants the new Dom kit, but I don't yet know what angle I want to go at that one with. Maybe custom decals? I'll figure it out. Or do a kit from something else, even though my heart belongs to classic Universal Century. And my soul belongs to the monoeye.

ביז מיר טרעפן זיך ווידער ! ! !

#gunpla #mobile suit gundam #universal century #principality of zeon #gouf #modelkit #hobbymodel #gundam #this is no zaku boy #but my friend is zaku boy

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pesterloglog · 4 months

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Dave Strider, Vriska Serket, Arquiusprite, Terezi Pyrope, Gamzee Makara, Rose Lalonde, Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert

Act 6, page 7510-7512

DAVE: hey am i interrupting anything

VRISKA: Hey, Dave. No, Arquius and I were just exchanging some notes 8efore I 8ring the meeting to order again.

DAVE: ok i just thought i would

DAVE: saunter over here

DAVE: things are getting pretty lalonde heavy over there

VRISKA: It really is an awful lot of fucking Lalondes, isn't it.

DAVE: two was ok or actually cool even but this

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: time to see whats up over here

DAVE: how is it going there broquiusprite

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Nearly finished radically downgrading crocker here

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I then plan on mourning the complete restoration of her woeful inferiority with a moment of silent, subtle fle%ing

DAVE: ok that was some weird stuff to say

DAVE: but cool

DAVE: soooo

DAVE: you are

DAVE: some sort of freak right

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

DAVE: ok good to know

DAVE: its like

DAVE: talking to someone who is half my bro...

DAVE: but then not even really?

DAVE: the bro half is half AI or something??

DAVE: so maybe one quarter bro

DAVE: but then maybe even less because like alt-universe considerations and also part sprite

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I am notorious for being fucking sensational at mathemati%, but I don't think I could break it down for you without lying about the precision of my figures

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Which is a practice I am by no means above, mind you

DAVE: yeah the bottom line is i can tell youre just a really watered down version

DAVE: or maybe

DAVE: sweated down

DAVE: why the fuck are you so sweaty

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I'm not

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I toweled off less than a minute ago

DAVE: oh god

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Sir Dave, there's much we could talk about, en route to wa%ing HARD sentimental about our dubiously shared fraternal past

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> The fact that I will not shouldn't be mistaken for preoccupation with this delicate cybertask, which is trivial to me since my mind is a faultless silicon mesh of living algorithmic perfe%ion

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Neighther should it be ascribed to the fact that my troll hemidentity finds the notion of a reunion with you to be boring as a fiddling fruit

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> It is manely that such a bonding e%perience strikes me as an endeavor falling outside my totally ripped and kicktuchus purview

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Brothertimes with Real Dave would best be left to the custody of Real Dirk, not to mention someone who gives at least greater than half a stupid shoot about you

VRISKA: (Swoon.)

DAVE: you know

DAVE: im kinda glad you sound this insane and for the most part barely understandable

DAVE: it makes it extra obvious you arent my legit bro

DAVE: which means i can actually talk to you while only being like vaguely confused and unsettled instead of curling up into a ball and having some sort of social conniption

DAVE: speaking of which

DAVE: uh

DAVE: when is he supposed to get here btw

VRISKA: Relax, Dave.

VRISKA: He's scheduled to arrive around the same time as all the other 8ad guys.

VRISKA: You still have time.

VRISKA: I could have expedited his arrival, 8ut I knew that meeting him was going to 8e a 8ig deal for you, so I decided to let you have some space while we made some plans.

VRISKA: See? I'm always thinking a8out what's good for you guys, and what's 8est for the overall strategy.

VRISKA: Keeping everyone in high spirits is important!

DAVE: what do you mean

DAVE: 'expedited'

VRISKA: Never mind that.

VRISKA: Just chill out!

DAVE: alright

DAVE: so as long as im supposedly chillin and in no way wondering about my bro

DAVE: are you SURE there are no beverages in that fridge

DAVE: no aj or

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> It's a blind alley, brother dawg

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I already asked if she had milk in there once, plus another nine redundant times after that

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I also asked if she would like to touch my muscles

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> The answers were ten no's and one yes

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> That reminds me dave

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Would you like to touch my muscles?

DAVE: maybe later

DAVE: so youre sure theres nothin to drink in there

VRISKA: Yes, Dave.

DAVE: dunno why im so insistent

DAVE: not like my fridge ever had anything comestible inside

DAVE: why the fuck did you even bring it

VRISKA: Don't worry about it.

DAVE: oh come on

TEREZI: G4MZ33'S 1N TH3R3

DAVE: oh right

DAVE: somehow i forgot that we literally just established that you had gamzee locked in there for some reason

DAVE: you sure we shouldnt maybe

DAVE: let him out

TEREZI: >:\

DAVE: he could suffocate in there

TEREZI: H3'LL JUST R3V1V3

TEREZI: GOD T13R STYL3, R1GHT?

DAVE: hes not a fuckin god tier

DAVE: hes faking it he just made that fuckin suit from scratch or something

DAVE: i know hes complete trash but maybe we should just let him out

DAVE: whats the harm its not like he can cause much trouble

DAVE: we all way outnumber him and have way more powers and shit

TEREZI: UM...

VRISKA: No.

VRISKA: Oh, wow. No.

VRISKA: We will not ever 8e hearing from him again. No.

VRISKA: Never, never, never again. Never.

VRISKA: Wow.

DAVE: so youre just gonna let him suffocate in there then

VRISKA: Dave, give me a little more credit than that.

VRISKA: Gamzee is supposedly relevant to some stuff that's going to happen in the new universe.

VRISKA: He's still got some "plot armor" or some shit.

VRISKA: So when Earth is resitu8ted, I'm just going to drop the fridge in the fucking ocean or something, and let him find his own way out.

DAVE: ok thats fair

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: firm

DAVE: but fair

DAVE: well maybe not that fair but i guess i dont care

DAVE: so is johns hot mom awake yet?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> No

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: not hot mom

DAVE: just mom

DAVE: damn

DAVE: did anyone hear that

TEREZI: Y3S

DAVE: shit

DAVE: lets reboot all trains of thought starting now

DAVE: how much longer til his hot moms awake

DAVE: mom

DAVE: i mean his

DAVE: not mine

DAVE: his mom not my hot mom

DAVE: my mom i mean

DAVE: fucking hell

DAVE: not my mom his

DAVE: johns hot mom

DAVE: JESUS

VRISKA: Sigh.

VRISKA: The Strider Express is off the rails again, so I'm going to duck out of this convers8tion.

VRISKA: See you every8ody.

DAVE: no vriska dont go

DAVE: at least do me the solid of letting me land squarely on some phrases that allow some plausible deniability over whether i think johns mom is super fucking hot

DAVE: shit wait

DAVE: pretend i didnt say that while still rendering its meaning in your mind somehow

DAVE: vriskas gone im not even talking to anyone

TEREZI: D4V3

TEREZI: FORG1V3 M3 1F 1 4M M1SS1NG SOM3 NU4NC3 H3R3

TEREZI: BUT 1T SOUNDS TO M3

TEREZI: 4S 1F YOU B3L13V3 JOHN'S MOTH3R 1S PHYS1C4LLY 4TTR4CT1V3

DAVE: ok now youre just twisting my words around

TEREZI: WH4T WOULD JOHN TH1NK??

DAVE: ok thats an interesting thought but hear me out

DAVE: what if

DAVE: we ran an experiment and spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told him

TEREZI: 1 W1LL CONS1D3R YOUR R3QU3ST FOR S3CR3CY

TEREZI: M4YB3

TEREZI: FR4NKLY, 1 4M NOT SUR3 SH3 1S 4NYTH1NG TO WR1T3 HOM3 4BOUT

DAVE: what oh what the fuck

DAVE: are you on the idiot drugs today

DAVE: how could you possibly be serious about that

DAVE: how is this unconscious teen grandmother not a completely smokin babe

TEREZI: 1 GU3SS SH3 1S NOT MY CONT41N3R OF SC4LD1NG L34F FLU1D

DAVE: no i dont even believe you

DAVE: youre obviously just trying to rile me up by going against the grain of fragrantly obvious babefacts

ROSE: Is Dave saying inappropriate things about John's mother over there?

DAVE: no!

DAVE: im not saying anything

DAVE: just standard casual observations from a regular bystanding person

TEREZI: H3 K33PS C4LL1NG H3R HOT

DAVE: wow

DAVE: peddle LIES much?

DAVE: i guess reprehensible dishonesty is all the rage with the troll kids today

ROXY: wait wats goin on

ROXY: are we all talkin about how hot jane is???

DAVE: no!

DAVE: maybe

ROXY: cuz janey is a straightup sexual fox riding a red hot nuclear bombshell

ROXY: right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of babe city, assachusetts, U S A

ROXY: the last A just stands for more ass

DAVE: THANK you

DAVE: for

DAVE: defending the position i may or may not have been arguing for moments ago

ROSE: No comment.

JOHN: hey, are you guys talking about me?

JOHN: what's going on!

DAVE: NOPE

ROXY: lmao

TEREZI: D4V3 TH1NKS YOUR MOM 1S HOT

JOHN: what!!

DAVE: god DAMMIT terezi

#homestuck #dave strider #vriska serket #arquiusprite #terezi pyrope #gamzee makara #rose lalonde #roxy lalonde #john egbert #homestuck act 6 #page 7510 #page 7511 #page 7512 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5

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elfcow · 7 months

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Not sure how to feel about Moiraine's arc in the show tbh. Like it serves it's purpose as far as putting her on a bus plot-wise but as far as her character goes like.

Yeah I think 100% it's believable that would behave this way if she was this 800% more traumatized but like. Idk. I don't know if it's particularly interesting to explore when she had a really interesting character as a powerful mentor character who yes still struggled with being a bit of an arrogant ass with communication issues sometimes but like. I don't know how they're not going to write themselves into a major fucking corner unless

1) she gets healed in the next half season

2) all of her important moments in books 3-5 get given to another character

So like. I just genuinely don't understand what they're going to do. Because the healing of stilling isn't supposed to be invented for like 10 fucking books yet and not for her. And Moiraine is crucially there as a mentor channeler doing crucial shit for like the equivalent of a couple more seasons.

SHE IS THE FIRST PERSON IN THE THIRD AGE TO USE BALEFIRE.

Read that again. Literally the Forsaken so evil they were locked away for ten garbillion years actually followed the Geneva Conventions and Moiraine is the FIRST to break them and she does it TWICE.

I don't remember if Rand does it before or after she shows him actually but all of Rand's fights are literal fucking fever dreams until he meets loser mandolin boy and learns what it is he's actually doing.

Anyways. I just don't understand what they're doing with Moiraine. Or what she's going to do in the story. Because her identity in the books is so tied up in what she *did* and now she just snaps at people and is sad. It's tremendously sad but it's I think I'm having trouble feeling sad when I know that I'm supposed to be feeling sad about her for a different reason entirely that now I likely... Won't be able to?

Extra spoilery here so putting it under the cut

Like her relationship with Lan in the books was more respectful, and her releasing him was less mean and more bittersweet.

She had so much more power and status and life to live for in the books, and so her sacrifice had meaning. And she had a good relationship, complicated but ultimately good, with Rand. So her rescue and resurrection was ultimately that much more impactful.

The way this is shaping up, because she wasn't this enormous beloved magical mentor figure, I don't think all of these future arcs are going to be successful.

That's not to say that the arc of a woman finding meaning in her life as her old life implodes after the horrible trauma of stilling isn't one worth writing - I just think there's a fucking reason that it wasn't Moiraine's story.

... That's Siuane's story, anyway! That's fucking Siuane's story to a T! We're going to get this exact fucking arc later in the show! What the fuck! This is so wasteful and redundant and hamstringing Moiraine's whole fucking deal!

#Wot #Wot spoilers #I've been trying not to be all 'at my old school' for this show but this is the one thing where I'm like #I don't think you can write your way out of this corner

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 3 years

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Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

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