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gizkasparadise · 5 months

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2023 wrapped: cdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie and doing an overview of all the cdramas i watched this year (i'll do one for kdramas later)! listed in order of least favorite to most favorite. favorite =/= objectively best/most well-made. just the ones i had the most fun watching.

15 have a crush on you. oh dear lord. this drama should be a case study for what happens when a bad drama has charismatic actors and they keep you trapped hostage. i watched this whole damn thing hating every minute of it on behalf of the poor female lead who definitely deserved better. the ending? absolutely batshit, and not in a fun way. one of the weirdest, worst endings ive seen since with you

14 back from the brink. too kitschy for me, i didn't last long on this one (i think 2 eps lol).

13 gone with the rain. i wanted to like this one because i love sean sun and troll general is exactly what i want out of life. but i didn't like the weird daydream asides, constant animal noise sound effects, and i found everyone kind of off-putting in a non-watchable way, so i peaced out really quick--ep 4ish

12 here we meet again. i love janice wu. i continue to try out her dramas hoping for something to grab me again. this one was pretty boring/too focused on the work element and not the rest of it.

11 exclusive fairytale. i have a secret weakness for youth-to-working-life dramas, so tried this one out. flat, not a lot of chemistry, and very color-by-numbers. the show was clearly made to vehicle jun, and that's okay, but not my thing

10 the starry love. i wanted to like this one because the side characters were fun and i loved the male lead/prince of heaven and all his awkward "please leave by 9" energy. but it bored me overall and unlike most folks i had no interest in the demon secondary ship. i dropped around ep 10

9 my journey to you. it kills me to rank this one so low because it was my most anticipated cdrama this year, but i just couldn't get into it. the pacing was too slow for me, and i couldn't stand how everyone talked to each other (long. pauses. and then. staring. and then. whispers. always the. whispers). i dropped this around midway

8 the love you give me. the chemistry between the leads was cute and it was a decent modern romance. started losing me around the midpoint when the paternity reveal hit and the ML got way into boundary crossing because of it

7 circle of love. objectively not a good drama. in fact, a toxic and batshit drama that has probably made me a worse person for watching it. but gd did my messy ass enjoy the trainwreck.

6 road home. you really got to be in the mood for this one, but it's a nice, understated and slow melo romance. but def not a bingeable show since it takes its time with everything

5 wonderland of love. another drama that i dont think is objectively great, but two competent schemers/martial artists trying to one-up each other is like ship catnip for me and this was a show that lived or died by its ship. surprisingly tame for the screenwriter, and had a happy ending! popcorn watch.

4 till the end of the moon. me and this drama were in a bad romance, which i suppose is thematically appropriate. i hated parts of it, i was super invested in others. the post-dream human arc was giving wuthering heights tragic obsession incredibleness. even with its flaws, i think most of cdramaland is in agreement that lyx/tantai jin stole the ML competition this year. great gowns, beautiful gowns

3 story of kunning palace. i adored the characters in this drama! even when the plot was losing my interest, everyone was cast so well and had so much charisma that i stayed pretty hooked from ep 10ish on. absolutely loved the mean high school theatre director wreck that was xie wei, as well as the other (imo) true love interest of the show, princess leyang. the desperate speech about being like iron is gonna live rent-free in my head

& then 1&2 are way ahead of the others for me this year/a very close race between them!

2 a journey to love. i love this drama so much!!! i have not skipped or speed watched a single scene which for me is a huge feat! great character work across the board -- even the side characters have a lot of nuance and interesting dynamics between them. beautiful fight scenes. great ost. one of the best, most balanced main couples ive seen in a show. it's gonna break my heart in a few eps when it ends, but i'll be happy about it

1 lost you forever (s1). this drama came out of NOWHERE and the vicegrip it had on me while it was airing!!! my favorite FL this year (although a journey to love's ruyi is a close second), and just a ton of fun while also being quietly devastating in parts. i loved how lived in and tired the FL felt, enjoyed the various flavors of mess from her love interests, and enjoyed how extra it could go while still giving us really grounded and complicated characters. this drama gets extra points for converting me on several actors i did not think that highly of before the show.

overall, despite how many i dropped (lol writing it out made me realize i dropped so, so many), cdramas delivered for me this year! my top two are on my short list for favorite dramas, period. everyone go watch a journey to love and lost you forever if you havent yet!!!

AWARDS

Favorite ship: definitely goes to ruyi and yuanzhou from a journey to love. it's just nice to see a couple that mutually supports each other's murders

Favorite FL: xiaoyao from lost you forever with ruyi from journey to love as a very close runner-up. i am here for this year's theme of competent, jaded ladies trying to reclaim their lives

Favorite ML: objectively, tantai jin from till the end of the moon should win this, but story of kunning palace's xie wei was just so entertainingly grumpy, petty, and unhinged which is a winning combo for me.

Favorite 2FL: princess yang ying from a journey to love. she's doing amazing and im proud of her!!

Favorite 2ML: technically third male lead, but xiang liu from lost you forever was my favorite to watch and had the best tuxedo mask exits

Best Cast: a journey to love, i literally adore all of them, even the ones i hate

Best Blood Cough: tantai jin, you beautiful bastard who needs a bib

#cdrama #gizka 2023 wrapped

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callmeghoulshit · 3 months

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For the 101 questions!

It’s so many imsorryimsorryimsorry but ily

4, 10, 13, 23, 31, 33, 44, 75, 88, 97

SHAKEY I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER TO ANSWERRRRRR.

Made the mistake of opening it during work so I lost the notification and forgot :(

Everything under the cut cuz this was an essay.

ANYWAYS:

4. What's the one thing you feel like everyone knows how to do except you?

Oho. Literally everything. Life as a whole. Everyone makes everything look so damn easy and it leaves me wondering what went wrong with me (I know damn well what's wrong with me lmao but I don't wanna change it)

Oh but to be specific it's hard to explain so I hope I make sense but appearances. I know even the prettiest people have their insecurities but it seems like everyone else knows what to do with themselves. Whether it be hair, clothes, makeup. I have to ask my bestie all the time because it's the one thing I don't get is how people are like "imma do this! I think it'll look cool!" Like how are you SURE? How do you just know what looks good in you and what doesn't?

It took me five years to nail my eyeliner. Fucking eyeliner. And it'll probably take me another five to figure out if I can even wear eyeshadow.

10. What's your boring hobby (that you still enjoy anyway)?

This is another hard one cuz I do quite a bit of hobby hopping now. In the span of a year I went from jewellery making, cross stitch, painting, clothes making, and clay. I didn't have any hobbies prior to that, let alone "boring" ones so I don't really have an answer haha.

13. Tell a secret.

See my initial answer was to say my maladaptive daydreaming, except I slapped that in my intro post haha. And anything else that comes to mind is actually unwarranted trauma dumping I think. So we're gonna stick with the MADD but make it dramatic:

I've had seven (there's way more but they're the core ones) imaginary friends since I was 14. I'm currently twenty, and hoping they don't go away, there have been a couple times I've "lost" my ability to daydream and I felt so broken because they stem from a time I was so lonely I only had myself and I love them so dearly. So if you ever see me talking about my OCs (original characters), I mean them. I'm so unbelievably attached and can talk about them forever haha. Maybe if I see an ask game about OCs I'll answer about them hehe.

23. Do you believe in an afterlife?

Nope. No belief in any kind of higher power. My only fear is that you're still somehow conscious after death, just experiencing nothingness. It's mainly because I can't imagine everything just switching off.

31. What are you looking forward to right now?

Hmm maybe getting round to my project where I wanted to make a dress. Maybe it's my delusions of grandeur because I keep hoping it'll turn out perfect haha.

Being able to see my best friend for a proper hangout again too. I miss being able to see her whenever we wanted to <3

33. What's your favorite color in context?

Red. I just really like red. When I used to get up really early and the sun was rising it'd look so pretty and red and pink.

44. What's the earliest dream you can remember having?

I can't remember anything mate haha. It would have to be a weird lil nightmare I had three years ago I think, enjoy

75. What's that movie you know is bad but enjoy anyways?

Fast and Furious franchise. Admittedly I need to catch up with a few movies. And I know it's far fetched and everything BUT I DONT CARE. DAYDREAM INSPO. ITS FUN. GIMME MY STUPID UNREALISTIC DRIVING MOVIE.

88. What kinds of things confuse you?

Fucking LIFE. Money. Bills. My mum's council tax makes me wanna rip my hair out. I wanna figure out if I can live independently BUT I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH BILLS Are this is so fucking stressful.

Oh and attraction lmao I don't get that shit. I have an ace flagged pinned to my wall but it feels like a lie cuz I'd feel so bad if I realise down the line I'm not ace. Seriously what the fuck is romantic attraction. Tf is sexual attraction. The fuck is arousal. Anyways moving swiftly on

97. What's your favorite word?

Swear words. I can't think right now. Maybe shit, fuck, bitch, cunt or dickhead.

#im so sorry shakey #i received an ask but won't get used to it

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shrug-em0ji · 1 year

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had not intended to readmorepost but this is long and rambly and has some sensitive stuff i think?

i mentioned to my coworkers the other day that my mom was a pathological liar (it was relevant, i promise) and neither of them dug for further details but i got caught in this loop of wanting to explain and justify it, probably because its a thing that i used to do a LOT and have only recently gotten better about. but i was thinking about like. why people lie. and my mom and i in particular. and about how when you are hurt profoundly, especially over a prolonged period of time, in ways that people cant see and often dont acknowledge as being worthy of consideration, it becomes really easy to just. fudge the details a little bit. add in an extra pinch of violence. make it sound just a little worse so that when people react their response is proportional to how you felt rather than to what happened.

i have a story that i have often used as an example of the things that happened a lot when i was growing up - i was supposed to be cleaning my room, but i was a kid, and i was bored and overwhelmed by the mess, so i sat down on the floor, on a pile of clothes, and spent 45 minutes daydreaming about my toys coming to life and helping me. when my dad came upstairs to check on me and saw that i hadnt cleaned at all, he got really angry and picked up a little armchair that i had in my room and threw it at my wall hard enough to leave a decently big hole.

for a long time, when i told this story, i said that he threw the chair at me and missed, that i didnt hear him come in, that i had been working and he just wasnt happy with how far id gotten. and i used to get really angry at myself for lying about it - obviously, if im lying to make it sound worse it must not have been that bad, im making a huge deal out of nothing, theres no reason for this to even be a thing that i tell anyone ever. but it was the opposite. i was on the floor, in the only place that i felt safe or like i had any modicum of control over, and someone who was supposed to care for me came in, towered over me, made me feel small and helpless, and then intentionally picked up a large heavy object and threw it across the room because he knew it would scare me. he wanted me to be very very aware at all times how big and strong and angry he was, and how helpless i was to stop him. "even in this safe quiet space that is yours i can break your stuff and hurt you, you are not really safe here at all, i am always in control"

but like!!! i was a kid!!! i didnt understand the concept of subtext! now, when i tell people that my dad threw stuff a lot when i was a kid, im usually talking to people who understand that throwing things is inherently threatening. it is a thing that abusive people do to scare you and let you know that they want to hurt you and they can hurt you if you make them. but when i was growing up this was very much not the case! if i told an adult my dad threw stuff their response would be "well you didnt get hurt so you're fine, nothing to complain about"

so i lied about it, because i was terrified of him and needed people to believe that he was terrifying.

i was reading a book recently - one of the big abuse books that everyone recommends, though i dont recall precisely which - and i got to a bit about incest and immediately felt so unbelievably guilty. i never accused anyone in my family of sexual abuse but i wanted to so badly, and i never understood why. i just felt like id been taken advantage of, like my body didnt belong to me, like i was tainted and ruined somehow, but no one had ever really done anything so i had no reason to feel that way.

and then i kept reading and the author specifically started drawing attention to specific behaviors - not illegal behaviors, not behaviors that get you barred from having custody of your kids, just... weird stuff. a parent drawing attention to their kids body, making sexual innuendos about them, commenting on their imagined sexual activity. stuff my dad did. "you'll probably be really good at sex someday, just make sure you dont end up a whore like your mom" "i miss when you were a little kid, now youre ready to start popping out babies" "people will say anything to make me look bad, i bet theyre spreading rumors about us sleeping together" "youre almost like a wife, theres just a few really important things you cant do"

it made me feel....... gross. and i didnt know why. i didnt understand it. i wanted very badly to not feel that way, but not as much as i wanted someone to understand that i felt that way.

i stopped showering regularly in middle school, when i moved back in with my dad, because i didnt want to be naked in the same house as him and my brothers (for related reasons) but i could never explain it to anyone. i spent a lot of time in the guidance counselors office being questioned about what the problem was and utterly unable to find the words, or really understand it myself. so it got chalked up to being lazy. and i just spent several years absolutely hating myself and not understanding why i felt the way that i did. i wanted to lie to explain it and could never quite get there. and then the other thing happened and gave me a plausible explanation so i ran with it, and have continued running with it for years now, despite the fact that the worst symptoms predate it by 3 years.

im not.... entirely certain why i wrote this out. i think its just been stuck in my head for a while now? and i wanted to say it. i wanted to be able to say "here is a real thing that happened to me and here is how i felt and feel about it and actually i dont care if you think my feelings arent proportional to the events, i need to be able to accept this as a thing that happened if im ever gonna get over it"

so fuck it.

#probably dont read this

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demoiselettes · 1 year

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Can I get a Demon slayer match up!:)

I want a male character

Im a girl

So basically how I look physically , I wear bangs on my face and have a pony tail on the side with all my hair going down but sometimes I like having two buns or two pig tails cause I like looking cute. Im asian , 5,2. Black long hair , I like to wear scrunchies or hair bows and I like girly dresses , skirts and crop tops. Im have social anxiety , its very hard for me to make friends cause it scares me , Im artistic(I like to draw and sketch) and I like anime.

I like eatting candy and I like stuff toys so I guess you can say I am a bit childish.

Im a bit chubby cause I like eatting but its not noticable

Im introverted and Im not interested in talking to most people cause I find them boring but I have a close friend group , Im usually stand off-ish with people but if we are close I make a lot of dirty jokes and im very playful and light hearted but again half the time I will be introverted. I like deep conversations , talking about feelings and philosophical things and Im self conscious of how I look and im insecure but I dont tell anyone unless we are close. I like deep emotional connections , Im an INFP

I really like physical affection , I like PDA.

I'm idealistic and I day dream a lot about romance and etc but Im not a hopeless romantic.

I have an inner world in my mind.

I like helping my close friends out.

I don't like small talk.

I want to make friends but my anxiety is a lot

I get jealous of others a lot and I need to be nurtured

I want someone to focus on me than other people and don't forget im there when im around people cause in groups Im quiet.

I want someone to care about me and nurture my feelings a lot and I like feeling valued.

I make very lewd jokes and I make some other jokes others may laugh at or find me weird

I really like positive people because I look up to them and I think their cool but I want someone with emotional depth to talk about deep inner emotions

I can also tell when someones upset or sad simply because I can based off of body language.

I like being there for others even though sometimes I dont know what to do , im very emotionally nurturing , I like spending time with people I love a lot.

I also live in a fantasy world in my mind and I love music and I like making people see me as attractive or act playful and bubbly cause it boosts my self esteem and makes me feel hot

Sometimes I can be too quiet but it depends on my mood , I dislike most people cause I view them as "Normal"

I tend to procrastinate

Eventide

I match you with Uzui Tengen!

•You and Tengen share a really similar trait: you both tend to see most people as ‘normal’ or ‘drab’

•Tengen has the need to be flashy, and seeing people go about doing mundane tasks with no hint of extravagance

•The people close to Tengen: his wives, Kyojuro, etc.. all differ from others in an important way; they can be recognized everywhere from how.. ah, unusual they are

•And Tengen loves that! Therefore, you seeking people who are not..boring will be what draws him to you

•Tengen, by all means, has a huge sex appeal and definitely loves his dirty sense of humor

•He wouldn’t think twice before flirting with you, even if he’s in public

•Your playfulness is his weakness

•He can never get tired of retaliating when you’re in a playful mood and he will get touchy feely

•It’s even better once he finds out you’re fond of PDA

•He’ll just randomly pull you into his lap at times press kisses over your face

•If he finds out that you think of romance a ton, he’ll take it as a personal challenge to live up to your daydreams and standards

•Whatever you envision, whether it be a date, a gift or something else, he’s on his way to make that mere thought a reality, in double flashiness

•Tengen isn’t really a big fan of emotional or deep conversations

•This doesn’t equal to him being shallow, he simply doesn’t find it fun to dive into deep subjects

•But you’d be surprised at how understanding he can be, specially to those he cares for

•When you’re in the mood to take a deep dive down philosophy lane, he’ll be there to listen and to share his own views

•Like you, Tengen isn’t the type to value small talks

•His conversations need to spark interest and to really get people listening

•Safe to say, he’s rarely ever quiet around you

•Even if you’re not in the mood to talk, he’s gonna be having a one sided discussion and asking you rhetorical questions

•Tengen basically showers you in affection and attention

•Even when you’re not with him, he talks about you to others just to show you off

•In his mind, you’re the embodiment of a goddess and he isn’t afraid to remind you of how amazing you are everytime

•No, i mean, he’s gonna pop up with a compliment at the most random moments

•Your need to appear bubbly and all in all attractive matched Tengen’s need to be the centre of attention, but he knows it can get exhausting at times, and he isn’t shy to tell you not to overdo it

•He didn’t just fall in love with your flashiness, he fell in love with you

•Tengen is an all round extrovert, so it’s easy for him to be surrounded by people and making friends is a natural thing to him

•So you being anxious when it comes to making friends is a new concept to him

•He doesn’t judge though(he lightly teases you about it, but will most likely stop if you seem uncomfortable), he will try to get you out of your shell to become a natural at making friends

•It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if he finds that you want to make more friends, he’ll help

•Ooooo boy, your chubbiness..

•He loves it

•Expect him to pinch your cheeks, your sides, your butt..

•He basically loves having you squished to his side

•Aside from scouring the best hot springs with you, he likes to take you to watch live amezaiku candy sculpting

•Then he buys their entire stock for you

•Your artworks decorate the halls of his estate

•Tengen loves how much shorter you are compared to him, and his favorite thing to do is picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder

•And smacking you as-

•Since we’re in the Taisho Era here, he’s getting you the same types of kimonos Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma wear and the he stares and whistles your way

•Giving head pats is his thing, and he likes to ruffle your hair, sometimes playing with your twin buns while he’s at it

•You also get the privilege to paint his face and nails, he lets you experiment with new designs from time to time

•He really only lets you because he gets to have you on his lap and to ogle you the entire time

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #nan’s eventide.#tengen uzui matchup

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years

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Soulmate au

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can you handle it?

This one is readers point of view

Kai's point of view

Normally people immediately found their chibis of their soulmates when they turned 18. But every rule has their exception.

You were twenty years old and could only watch people talking, cuddling and cooing at the tiny little things or actually their real soulmate... this always leaves a feeling of envy, but you never losed hope. Seeing those couples afterwards gave you ideas on what to do when you finally found your soulmate.

And with the job you had on the library, it was always possible to daydream about it.

Waving goodbye at your coworker you sighed, arranging the books and getting excited to finally end your shift... That was your plan before you yelped when many books from a shelf nearby all fall with an unknown sound.

Grabbing just a ruler as your unique weapon as you slowly tip toed to where it came the sound.

You widened your eyes and trembled at seing the books were moving and you hesitantly poked it with the ruler... making a squeak sound as you tilted your head.

"A... mouse?" You mumbled before screaming and falling in your butt as the book suddenly exploded in front of you in pieces. Breathing in and out you decided to pick at it only to widened your eyes.

A tiny little thing with golden eyes, dark brow hair and the most cute yet weird jacket you ever saw was patting his tiny glived hands while staring nonchantly at them before looking up at you, the same bored expression as before as he shoved his hands on the pockets of his jacket.

"I-It.. it cant be.." you muttered, getting on your knees to look down at the chibi version in front of you. He only arched one eyebrow yet not moving one muscle of his.

You went to touch his cheek with your index finger before he growled and slapped your finger away. It didn't hurt a bit but you still put your hands on surrender.

"Alright! Alright! Weren't you suppose to be more gentle with me?" You exclaimed before deadpanning when you remembered that chibis can't talk.

You looked at the pieces of what was once suppose to be a book and pointed at it.

"Please tell me you can repair that..." he only looked at you before sighing what was probably in annoyance and going to touch and just as a one blink of the eye the book returned as you looked down at him in awe before smilling.

"So this is your quirk huh?"

Since the chibis cant tell the name of them you decided to name your little companion as "goldie" because of the cold of his eyes.... even if for the first few times he only glared at you.

The thing about goldie was that he never was willing to be touched. This confused you a bit at first yet you decided not to pry from it since at night the little chibi would always curl up in your chest and doze off, thinking you were already asleep.

You also notice his passion about cleaning. Ever time it was something dirty or you didn't shower he would emmit huge amounts of 'squeaks' until you cleaned that thing.

"Geez you're a bit demanding arent you?" You giggled while rubbing the sink as he nodded in aproval or confirmation... you couldn't know.

You usually left him alone, but then one day you returned from work and the poor little thing was so scared that it did something you never once thought he would do. Hug any part of you that it could find.

This must meant that in that moment your own soulmate was suffering and your heart clenched at that as you brought Goldie to your cheek as you comforted him the best you could.

Ever since then he demanded to stay on your shoulder and go out along with you.

You were on the library and smiled at a client who went to talk with you for informations, although the male was only getting closer and then noticed the chibi on your shoulder glaring at him like he was about to rip his throat.

"Ah, so you got an soulmate I see." He talked as you giggled an yes "You know what? I dont quite believe those things, what about you and me go to a-" before the guy could finish his sentence Goldie hissed and literally grapped one book, despite being HUGE in comparation with him and hitted on the guy's face.

"WHAT THE FUCK-?!" The young male hissed as you grabbed Goldie in both of your hands as he patted his tiny hands and huffed, crossing his arms over his tiny little chest.

"I'm so sorry sir!" You whispered shouted as the guy left mumbling curses... one that especially caught on your heart strings.

"Quirkless bitch and stupid chibi little shit."

You immediately had your mood down as you tried to hold back the tears already in your eyes before you heard a squeak coming from your hands.

Goldie had a frown on his face before he mentioned for you to lift him up to your eye level only to surprise you with a sweet little kiss on each of your eyes. You immediatly smiled back amd rubbed your cheek with his as he grumbled.

"Aww you act all though but you're a softie on the end aren't you?" You cooed as the tiny male in your hands growled, despite having a pink on his tiny cheeks.

Thre months had passed and you heard your door bell ring. All the hopes that it was your soulmate rised on your chest only to fell as you only saw the mailman handing you a box.

Signing and thanking the worker, you closed the door and found Goldie nimbling on a cake you baked/bought it and you giggled at him, with how threatening he looked once but now looked aa the most adorable thing ever.

You put the box down on the middle of the room and started to open only to be freed aa Goldie touched one bare finger of it to help you.

"Look little guy! You like cleaning do you?" You picked the robot and turned it on, Goldie already on guard as if it was going to attack you "Its a romba! It's a little robot that cleans the floor!" You smiled down at the shock on his face before he climbed on the robot and rode it as it was a car or horse.

You never laughed so hard on your life, especially when Goldie used his foot hit the wall to make the romba go to the place he wanted to be clean.

You woke up with pokes in your cheek, groaning you saw Goldie, waving at you as you smiled and petted his head carefully.

He pointed to the calendar and you groaned. It was the day you needed to go out to buy groceries, looking at Goldie who only deadpanned at you.

"Do I need to?" He only huffed and crossed his arms as you rolled your eyes and prepared to go out.

You were asking for some Takoyaki before Goldie suddenly gone crazy. Getting up on your shoulder and squeaking loudly at some place on the market as you grabbed him on your hands when he almost fell on the floor.

"What?! Hey you're okay?" You tried to bring him close but he only jumped from your grip and ran away. Making you panick and ram after him I'm fear he could be stepped on.

The little guy was fast and even used his quirk to make a wave of concrete to carry him. He turned on an aisle and you almost losed it.

"GOLDIE!" you shouted before stopping abruptly when you saw the chibi of your soulmate on the ground, hugging close another chibi with (E/c) eyes and hair with the color of... wait... it was you! It was a chibi version of you! Hugging and kissing Goldie just as much as he was doing with them.

You gaped at the cuteness of the scene before you saw a male running towards your chibi version only to be stopped by the same reason as you did. The man was way taller than you imagined, and different from Goldie he weared a mask to hide half of his face.

You gaped at how beautiful the man was as his wide amber eyes looked back at your with the same shock.

You took hesitant steps as he did the same, both of you looking at each other as if you both had found a precious and unique treasure.

His eyes slowed went back to normal as he looked at you. You giggled at him making him arch his eyebrow, exactly like Goldie, making you laugh before putting a hand to cover your mouth.

"Sorey!" You said between giggles "Is just that... you act exactly like your chibi."

"Same goes for you." He looked at your chibi version and then back at you, extending one gloved hand at you.

"So, what is my soulmate's name?" He asked nonchantly but the glint of happines of his eyes was way too much evident.

"(L/n) (Y/n). And mine soulmate's name is..?"

"People call me Overhaul... but-" your hand interviewed and you felt all of your body go warm and fuzzy at the way he looked at you "You can call me by my real name. Chisaki Kai."

"Alright." You smiled before the both of your chibis versions squeaked as your soul- Kai. Kai zend a half glare at your chibi version.

"What is it now brat? You found m-"

"You called me brat?" You asked in false disbelief as he at her one eyebrow at you.

"A better name than Goldie." He shivered as you scoffed.

"Is a good name... Goldie." You smirked at him as he scoffed, holding your hand a bit tighter.

"Brat."

#bnha villains #bnha #bnha characters #bnha x reader #bnha imagine #chisaki kai #chisaki kai x reader #overhaul x reader #overhaul #fanfic overhaul #my writing #zuffer writings

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atzastrology · 4 years

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ATEEZ Ideal Types

disclaimer: this is meant for entertainment purposes. this may or may not be accurate, only because we all go through different life experiences that can mess with the chart. believe me, im a twin and are both different in some ways. especially in relationships. i based this on their venus signs and some aspects like their 7h but the 7h can also mean who they attract. [7h is all ruled by venus].

i honestly MIGHT do a part 2. i felt like i could have added more information but that's probably just coming from my gem moon and cap merc *sigh*. its pretty hard for me to summarize omg. but please do leave some feedback or if you would like more info on a certain member just send an ask. i can try my best to answer.

enjoy!!:)

Seonghwa Aqua Venus

precious, innocent, doesn’t want to hurt anybody

someone who needs to be protected

fun, optimistic

someone whos helpful but not in a pushy way

can get bored from those he considers normal

loves quirky types

attracted to foreigners [aquarius venus 11h]

not confirmed! 7th house in taurus OR leo can either be attracted to earth energies or fire rising is aquarius? scorpio?

7h taurus, provides money, someone he can benefit from OR 7h leo, someone who enjoys the same hobbies as him, creative, fun, loves kids

Hongjoong Scorpio Venus

who is magnetic.

someone deep, and wise.

who knows things no one else knows.

unique, eccentric

Someone quirky and weird.

looking at his 7th house in aquarius hed want an s/o that can stimulate him mentally

would need to be friends first before being anything more/serious

mysterious types

since his venus is in his 3rd house, he could get easily bored

so imo must be exciting!!

someone who can reassure him they love him ;((

he fears his partner will cheat on him

INTELLIGENCE [gem moon, aquarius desc, scorpio venus 3h]

attracted to foreigners camila cabello [aqua desc]

7th house in aquarius, can be attracted to other air sign energies

7h aqua, best friends, fit in with his friends, will be with someone who respects his independence, and supports his ideas

Yunho Taurus Venus

he doesn’t like to make the first move

extremely physically attractive.

with his 7th house in taurus, hed like someone that has a sensual appearance, sexy

attracted to curves

exudes calmness

prefers sweet than in-your-face personas

someone whos attentive

just like hongjoong, someone intelligent [gem moon, taurus venus 6h]

7th house is in taurus, can be attracted to other earth signs energy

7h taurus, able to provide money, someone who he can benefit from

Yeosang/ San Leo Venus

since yeosang and san share the same venus and house its under. i put them together but i will point out some differences they could have :)

someone laughs at all their jokes

someone who gives them compliments lol

someone who is very sociable

exudes confidence

bold confident look

attracted to foreigners [venus 11h]

YS not confirmed! 7th house in capricorn, he could be attracted to more earthy energies rising in cancer?

YS attracted to someone whos older [7th house cap]

YS 7h cap, someone who he can benefit from, who can take charge, supports his goals

SAN not confirmed! 7th house in pisces, could be more attracted to water sign energies rising in virgo?

SAN 7h pisces, someone who can escape reality and daydream with him ;(

Mingi Virgo Venus

someone who has game, flirty

dominant, kinky and sexual

someone who makes them go “oh damn”

not necessarily physically attractive

those who brag is a turn off for him

i can see him with someone who he can joke around with

not confirmed! 7th house in libra, can be attracted to more air energies rising in aries?

someone older [desc libra]

Wooyoung Libra Venus

Someone charming, funny, physically attractive

fun and outgoing

thoughtful, and generous.

who cares about him and doesnt fail to show it

someone intelligent [jupiter 7h]

attracted to foreigners [aries 7h]

7th house in aries, can be attracted to other fire sign energies

based on his 7th house in aries, confident, stands their ground, who compliments his appearance, dependent on his image by how his s/o views him

also another member whos attracted to foreigners [venus libra]

Jongho Scorpio Venus

similar to hongjoong, someone wise, who vibes with him

someone unique, quirky and weird.

best friend type

confidence!

who lets him take control

who can share their experiences with him

dont rant tho

patience

who lets him do the chasing, hard to get

intelligent & passionate

he fears his partner cheating on him, so please reassure him

attracted to foreigners [venus in 11h mars 9h]

not confirmed! 7th house in scorpio, he could be drawn more to water sign energies. assuming his rising is in taurus

7h scorpio, open minded with exploring mysteries and the darker aspects of life

#ateez astrology #astrology #ateez #ateez san #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #seonghwa #hongjoong #yunho #yeosang #choi san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho

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warmau · 4 years

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☆ sf9 x coworker!au | congrats on your first win!

youngbin

happily gives you a tour of the office on your first day

oh no! did you get a papercut? scrap your knee? get a headache? come to him and he will get you all better!

opens his drawer and it’s neatly organized - labels and color-coded rubber bands

takes criticism with grace you have never before seen, literally could be being torn to shreds by the boss and he just smiles and bows with the utmost respect

(screams about how stressed he is later on in the supply closet when no one is around to hear him)

won’t admit it, but envies the workers who have cute photos of their family and partners on their office desks,,,,,,,,,,when will he have that?

gets paired with you on a project and since you are new everyone thinks you’re just a burden

but youngbin leads you through it step by step, doing overtime if he has to just to help correct your work, and squeezing your hand gently before you have to present it to the managers

way too reserved to outright ask you on a date, but when you invite him to lunch he absolutely agrees and walks around the office with stars in his eyes for the rest of the day

inseong

“hey, don’t do it like that! here let me show you the keyboard shortcut for it! hey you know that’s the old version of microsoft word right? hey! hey! you need my help i know you do!”

sticks his nose in everyone else's business even when his own work is piling up

wears bowties unironically

will talk shit about the higher-ups at lunch and then shower them in praise at company meetings

does not have a filter sometimes, but thankfully his brain and good looks have gotten him out of some tricky situations with clients

pokes his head over his cubicle to ask his best friend jaeyoon the most stupid questions

“jaeyoon, am i annoying?”

“inseong finish the financial report before we both get fired.”

you get an error screen on your computer so you ask inseong for some help

the entire walk to your office, he’s telling you that he’s pretty much a computer genius - like he didn’t go to school for computer science - but if he wanted he could totally just be in the IT department

but when he looks at your computer for about five minutes, he presses something and the whole thing just. dies.

spends time bribing an unwilling, way more tech-savvy chani to come and help you out

and when chani finally agrees, it takes him like two seconds to fix the problem, but before he goes he tells you “inseong just made it worse, watch out for him.”

inseong sticks his tongue out, but gets embarrassingly apologetic in front of you, but you tell him it’s fine - jokingly commenting “being so cute gets you out of trouble alot, right?”

inseong can’t stop thinking about it for weeks - did, did that mean that YOU think HE’S cute?

jaeyoon: hey. snap out of it and get to work dude

jaeyoon

shows up to work with his gym bag, changes in the bathroom, and comes out looking more put together than half the other guys

do not touch his protein shake and salad

it is over for you if you do

always gets roped into doing the heavy lifting and a part of him is too nice to say no, but the other part is like - this is going to be a great squat workout so why not

secretly judges hwiyoung and taeyang for always buying lunch like learn to cook

best butt in the office, maybe even the building

has gotten propositioned by higherups and he’s always turning them down in the most roundabout, kind way

“are you free this weekend jaeyoon?”

“oh i wish i was, id love to spend some time with you - but i have to take care of my grandmother’s ailing........parakeet.”

keeps buying supplies for himself that keeps getting stolen

and everyone is like it’s inseong. he’s taking them. and jaeyoon is like nooooooo he’s my bestie he would never

(he did though)

you ask jaeyoon one day if you should get into running - you’ve wanted to pick it up for a while but don’t know where to start

suddenly his eyes are twinkling and he’s grabbing your hands in his like

“let me show you the wonderful world of exercise!”

you didn’t know what you were getting into, but now you somehow end up morning jogging with jaeyoon

one day dawon spots both of you coming in with duffel bags and he’s like “oooooo did you spend the night together?” and you turn tomato red

as jaeyoon, without a hint of shame goes, “no! but we did just break a sweat together - right!?”

dawon: oh my god

you: oh my god

jaeyoon: what- what did i say?

dawon

designated office party planner

it’s your birthday? someone in HR is having a baby? it’s friday and everyone looks sad so it’s up to dawon to make it better - well here he goes

coffee stain central up on this boy

every time he gives a presentation, someone ends up going like “did that even make sense?”

and dawon, at this point is like, “no i dont make sense. so stop asking. anyway - that’s what i think the company should do about lost net profit.”

when he’s getting scolded for a mistake, he somehow ends up saying something that leaves the manager in a fit of laughter

which results in him never really getting into trouble

(much to the annoyance of other coworkers cough zuho cough)

photocopies his face like he’s in third grade

doesn’t give back the pens he borrows

knocks over taeyang’s plants on a daily basis and blames rowoon’s tall ass for it

he recruits you into going cake shopping after work for chani’s birthday and as you’re looking at them

you notice how hard he’s working to pick a flavor chani likes

and you point out how sentimental he really is about his coworkers and dawon shrugs and for a moment you see a bit of seriousness as he explains, “they put up with me - so i want to thank them in one way.”

you frown, “what do you mean they put up with you? you’re the sunshine of the office!”

the words make dawon bashful and shy for what seems like the first time in his life and he plays it off like a joke to distract you from the fac that

well that you made clown lee dawon all blushy

rowoon

his mom bought him this shirt and no he isn’t embarrassed. his mom has great taste. obviously.

slow typer

unlike inseong, whose tall lanky body can slink past anything like water, rowoon is clumsy

hits his head on door frames, walks into tall file cabinets, his knees his the top of the table during meetings and he gets all apologetic

higherups have tried to convince him to be in a commercial to promote the company but he’s so humble he doesn’t think he’s worthy

dawon from some corner: ill do it

walks into work with his headphones and forgets to take them off until youngbin is practically yelling for him to turn around

bothers chani every hour on the dot

says he just walked over to stretch his legs but really he just wants to see what chani is up to

gets giddy over sparkly new things like the coffee machine being replaced

or getting a new work laptop

one afternoon, you’re really busy typing up a report that when a shadow looms over you - you nearly don’t notice it

until, out of the corner of your eye you glance up and let out a yelp because rowoon is bending over you to squint at your screen

“sorry, oh gosh i didn’t mean to scare you!”

his wide eyes turn puppy-like with apology and you suddenly feel like you’re the guilty party for making such a sweet person sad

when you ask if he needs help or something, rowoon nods and explains that the report you’re working on references an old report he did and he needs to tell you about some changes

without thinking twice he leans over you, both hands on either side of you as he places his large hand over yours on the mouse

you freeze as he clicks around till he opens his report, and feel something shiver up your spine when he talks close against your ear

rowoon is so oblivious, he doesn’t even catch you tensing up, until inseong strolls buy and wolf whistles at you two

(rowoon proceeds to apologize for this incident for the next month straight)

taeyang

last to arrive, first to leave

what does he even do here? no one really knows - sometimes they think he’s just sitting in his office and daydreaming for the entire eight hour work day

his phone is always going off with notifications, but if you send him a text in the work gc he does not respond

gets up to disappear into the bathroom like five times in an hour, compulsively brushes his teeth and puts on hand cream

keeps potted plants on his desk which are named after his favorite celebrities

yes, there is a jongin cacti, don’t make fun of it

when asked a question at meetings, he answers slow and steady and in such a low voice that no one knows what he said

but no one ever asks him to speak up because when he looks at you

he’s looking at you with such an intensity that most people choose to keep their mouth shut

like jaeyoon, some higherups are interested in him, but there’s rumors that he’s probably a secret royal living among the normal populace for fun so no one really tries it

one day, you see taeyang at the water cooler and say a bubbly hello

he responds with a tiny nod and then you ask, “is the water for you or for your plants?”

he blinks and explains that it’s for his plants - which you get all excited about and ask if you can meet them

which catches him off guard because no one has ever asked to “meet” his plants, actually most people think it’s weird that he harbors them so closely

so when he leads you over to his desk - he’s even more astounded with how you get excited over the different names and types

and you thank him for letting you know about all of them

waving goodbye as you leave the office

he tells himself to think nothing of it, but when he finds a stack of plant nutrient packets on his desk the next day with a note from you

he thinks,,,,,,,,,,well finally - there’s someone of interest to him in this otherwise boring office after all

zuho

finishes all his projects the night before

has spent nights in the office

almost scared rowoon half to death when he left and said bye to zuho and when he came in the next day zuho was in the same spot, wearing the same thing, staring at the same open file

rowoon had thought he had been like. mummified

the slacks he wears are too short, dawon will not stop pointing this out

pictures of his cat in his office

every secret santa they’ve ever done, zuho gets cat toys

mutters about being overworked, but really if he just ,,,,,,,, if he just did his work at a reasonable hour - it’d be fine

gets antsy when he’s eating and catches anyone else eating - but like with their hands

like he’ll be enjoying his lunch, but his anxiety hits the roof when he turns and sees that taeyang has spilled sauce on his tie and hasn’t noticed

“please smile more - you’re scaring the client”

you’re having a late lunch one afternoon - so you’re alone in the break room

and zuho comes in, slumping over into the seat beside you and pulling his own lunch from his bag

you haven’t ever talked much with him before so it’s a bit awkward

when suddenly you hear him ask,

“is that a - is that a cat lunch box?”

you feel your face flush with embarrassment, and you try to explain that you’re going to buy a new - more professional looking one -

but zuho shakes his head and lifts the cover to see the cartoon orange cat and

and giggles?!?!?!

and you’re like omg what he looks so cute, he usually looks so intimidating but right now he looks like??? a baby???

and he goes “no, no don’t change it. it’s so nice. also finally, someone with some decency to bring a lunch box - sometimes dawon just fishes half-eaten food out of his backpack and i die a little inside.”

you and zuho bond over being cat people and proper tableside manners LOL

hwiyoung

could give less of a shit about this job

is vocal about it too

youngbin has been trying to get him to wear something more business-y since he started here but if you put a tie on hwiyoung

in like an hour you’ll find it in the trashcan

“why can’t you just wear it?”

“it makes my neck feel weird.”

everyone thought he was this cold, selfish young guy until one day the entire office heard him on a phone call with his sister

getting all mushy and hearing her call him his “cute baby brother”

after that, even if he was trying to death glare at dawon, it wasn’t working

because now he’s the offices “cute baby brother”

even though chani is younger than him LOL

secretly tries to play video games during work hours by switching between tabs

and taeyang is like c’mon we’re not that bad with computer - but rowoon is like woah wait you can do two different things???? at once????? on a computer????

hates to admit it to anyone, but he doesn’t have a drivers licenses so he gets dropped off by friends sometimes

sometimes has to ask youngbin for a ride home and youngbin is like of course!!!!!! anything for a coworker :D

and hwiyoung is like hhhh how are you so happy all the time butalsothankyou

too self-conscious to whip out his glasses so he suffers through contacts

you bump into hwiyoung on the subway, which you never see him take, and can tell he’s lost

because he rushes up to you like he’s never done before and is like are you going to the office!!!!

you and him take the ride together and when you open your phone to play your favorite game - his eyes light up like christmas

and he spends the half hour helping you get passed the harder bosses

you almost miss your stop because you two are way too engrossed in the game and ever since then

hwiyoung thinks you’re one of the “cool” office people

chani

everyone adores him

from his coworkers to the mailman to the secretary to the higherups

all he has to do is show up and everyone is like - in a better mood

which he doesn’t get because most of the time he’s frowning or running away from rowoon

has to fix everyone’s tech problems

but won’t do it for free - so people give them their lunches or even, in extremes, bargain off vacation days

hwiyoung is the only person who doesn’t really coddle him and therefore hwiyoung is the only person chani willingly goes out to lunch wtih

rowoon: chaniiiiiii what are you eating today!

chani: sorry im going to ,,,,,, brazil for lunch, see you in 2-5 business days

he just wants to work in peace and quiet

it took him an hour to explain to inseong how the bluetooth on his phone works

he is the quintessential “look into the camera like you’re on the office” mood

someone from billing tried to flirt with him at the christmas party and nearly was falling over into his lap

and he was like “,,,,,,,,,,are you sick?”

actually really proud of himself when he gets complimented on his work, but he refuses to show a change in emotion

you’re tinkering with an old monitor in the supply room to see if you can fix it and take it home since youngbin said they’ll be throwing it away

and chani walks by just in time to hear inseong tell you to ask chani for help

you wave it off, explaining you don’t want to bother him

and chani tries to walk away, but finds himself working on the monitor during lunch and then shyly and unsurely handing it over to you

“wh- did you fix it?”

“yeah, nothings really wrong with it but -”

“thanks! should i treat you to lunch sometime?”

chani’s already wide eyes go wider and he agrees, stuttering over his words

later on he finds jaeyoon and zuho and without even explaining the situation he asks

“is going to lunch with a coworker what they call a date?”

in about two seconds everyone except you is in the room, pestering chani for information and rowoon is sobbing because ‘chani is finally growing up’

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bardicious · 3 years

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The thing is, my daydreams are telling me I can happily accept a manic - nothing matters Loki. Hell, I can even take a Loki that goes "plan, what plan?" because dealing with what he's been through, and having all his plans fall to nothing starts getting humiliating and pointless.

I can see Loki going, what's the point in setting a plan, if it wont work out? Or even worse.

So he'd be making a big screw you to the plan. Partially because he's suicidal, having an existential crisis, and maybe he just wants to stop thinking and live in the moment.

It's just, Loki has to stay smart when he does that. He's not going to pick that kind of mindset up so quick, he's more likely to fall on his habit of planning things out, watching people react from a distance, plotting the death of said Time Keeper. He has to learn to pick up the manic, nothing matters behavior.

Of course, I suppose he could have some kind of psychotic break? Not sure how that works. But the Loki in the show isn't nearly that manic, if thats the case. He's just dumb. I can possibly suspect that he's lying about his behavior and knowledge to the point of making himself look like a fool.

But the narrative keeps presenting everything as if Loki is being one upped by everyone? It's as if we aren't getting Loki's perspective at all. I don't know who's perspective we're getting. But it doesn't feel like Loki's, cause I honestly dont know what Loki wants at this point in the show.

And I find that just dull? Super freaking boring. I mean, we're half way through, and Loki is still being treated like he's nothing to take seriously. We should have done away with that little plot hole by the end of episode 1 (when he gets the upper hand on Hunter B-15?). It's just weird that for a show about Loki, a show thats supposed to be using his strengths and showing you how amazing he actually is, instead they downplay literally everything.

They show little hints of magic here and there, but it doesn't occur near frequently enough - which is just weird? It feels like bad writing.

Like they simply dont know what to do with Loki at max potential. (which is a weird ass take, I really dont get it - I mean the writing is really poor, I'm honestly confused about how bad it is. This is comics level stupid, guys.)

I can surmise, that this is leading to a big reveal of Loki having the "power in him all along". And which I'll be promptly going "no shit".

Anyway! This post is definitely Loki tv show critical, but surprisingly I still like it (possibly because I've lowered my expectations to literally nothing). And if anyone has some in character Loki fics - set in the Loki series timeline. Please let me know! Because I know that would be epic!

PS. Fanarts are going to be coming quick with found family: Mobius, Hunter B-15, Casey, Sylvie, and Loki! I just love them all so much.

#The Adventures of Loki and the Other Ones

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msawesomeworld · 3 years

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Stupid long and personal rant ahead (which is basically just me being horny on main).

Bruv, like, whaaaat do I need to do to stop being so fucking horny these days. I feel like this never happens, yet I am on day like 5 now, where I just have the hugest boner for like just any love (and like banging too, but still.) Like, I expected this when I was still on my period, but that has been over for DAYS, like I am currently just looking at my brain/uterus like: Bitch! What do you want?! I need to work, not think about banging people! Because news flash, no one I want to bang I cannot bang! (I mean I could ask, but we all know that isnt gonna happen, cuz I'm an awkward motherfucker, and TWO, one of the guys I wanna bang I like barely know, and I really dont think he likes me, like that at least, because we have only talked a few times at parties and it was fun and he is really sweet, but personally I feel like I am a grower not a shower when it comes to being attracted to me. Or maybe the opposite, honestly that feels like an entirely different post. But yeah, so, no, probs not gonna be able to bang him, because of ALL of that, and also because he is surrounded by girls who are much more successful girls and prettier than me, sooo like, I am not oblivious, I am a nice like 5-6 but most girls are 7-8s. Sooo, yeah, no. Even though he is sooo hot! But then guy two who I for some weird ass reason want to bang! I am like, first off, we sort of live together, so no, bad brain no! But also, like, I dont understand WHY I am attracted to him! Like sure he has some nice features, but he is just so baby faced and looks so young, which I mean he is cute and is probably my type, which is a problem because my type is clearly wrong for me! But also, I feel like I kinda like him, we have hung out in the social settings a lot more than the other guy, and he was even once nice enough to make out with me as a favour at a party. Which is probably why I am like: YESSS that guy! Constantly these days. Like I wanna be attracted to the first guy, I can tell you all the ways he is soo fucking hot. But this guy, oh my god he was such a fucking good make out, and I just I cant seem to stop thinking about him. It has not been too awkward afterwards, and I KNOW I only hang around him at the last party because I am comfortable with him and a few other people and I am awkward. But GOD, why cant I stop thinking about him? IS this a fake to real lovers fic that I have accidentally trapped myself in? I Have read enough fic in my lifetime to not be this stupid. Yet here I am, horny as shit, and for some annoying reason really into this guy I made out with to get over someone else. And yes, it is also partly because he is about the best kisser I have made out with in a like ever! But whyyy??? I am just, like, no, bad brain. And yet, I am sleep deprived or just bored and I allow myself to daydream about a fake relationship that will only worsen my real life relationship with this guy who is actually super sweet and I do just wanna be friends with. But NOOO I have to be a pining little shit!

My god!

But most importantly, the reason I dont just grab those guys and be like: hey, wanna bang? Is that 1. I kinda live with both of them, like in the same dorm but still counts. I share a kitchen with guy number two. AND 2. None of them probably like me like that. And the most important reason: Nothing good ever comes from me having one night stands, and I don't know either of them well enough for them to, even if they did wanna sleep with me, be like: Hey, lets hang out more see where this leads? And that sucks. So I am stuck here. Pining, after something stupid that will probably never happen. I really hope this stupid fever breaks soon so I can go back to just living my life.

#Like I used to love being single #no problem #And yet here I am #just stuck in this fucking pining limbo #where I know I cant have anyone #Because no one likes me like that #Sorry this is so long

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aux0rde · 3 years

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love love lvoe loveee ekekeek imma simpppppppppppp </3

i feel so horrible all the time and im mentally not in a good place and everything is just so boring and i feel like i fucked up everything over and over and it hurts.. it feels like nobody cares even if they do its not the people i want. i like someone but theyre not someone i can be with as they go to a different school and will be a senior next year they probably think im this dumb little kid. idk why i like them either. i think its because i feel like im romantisizing the fact that hes not mentally in a good place like me and i feel like i want to show him how he happy he can be but idk. it could be so perfect. nobody else likes him except me but i feel loyal to him as i do to everyone i like. i feel like this might be more real than my other “crush” but i barely know him as a person i just want to protect him and make him feel loved. maybe i just feel bad for him? but i wouldnt mind dating him idk. idec if hes too ill to make me happy i think making him happy is all i need and when he looks at me i sort of like breath heavy his eyes are so pretty and ahh his smile... my cheeks heat up thinking about it... its so embarassing because im getting butterflies thinking about it... nobody else seems to find him attractive so idek but when has anyone ever found the people i think are attractive attractive? idk i love everything about him. his face his eyes his smile what he says and it feels like we have a connection but idk maybe im overreacting and making things up again.. and even when he just taps my shoulder i get a series of emotions... hes probably too depressed to even crush but idk hes just this quiet dude. hes so respectful and its so cute because hes so oblivious to everything. he also seems so emotionless idk why i find this attractive god help me. and oh my god he looks at me in the eyes when im talking and its so nice and i feel like we both notice things.. and AHG idk what he is thinking about even. and the rest of my friends all like the basic “attractive” dude whos funny and outgoing and dorky but i like this quiet sad boy who makes edgy jokes where it seems like hes crying for help but no one seems to notice.. he likes animals too and it makes me so happy i just want to take care of him and tell him hes loved and that i understand... or is this just me wanting to treat someone how i wished they would treat me and idk what it is about him that i find attractive he has so much acne and is like this tall twig, but its all his eyes and smile and hair like oh my god. his eyes are so pretty like when he looks at you its like from under his lashes and theyre a light blue or a grey? and his smile </3 im not romantisizing mental illness i swear because ive liked boys who are the complete opposite of him... i think?? i cant help it im just attracted to people i feel like i can help or just smother?? maybe that makes me a horrible person.. I JUST WANT TO BE THERE FOR SOMEONE BECAUSE NOBODY WILL BE THERE FOR ME. i want to make sure this boy eats enough and gets enough love and sleep and i just want to hear his whole life story like idk why im like this. ive liked him since day one tbh just the way he carries himself he seems like he smells like ice or like something clean and just sharp like a breath of fresh air.. and hes so peaceful like. his touch is so gentle like when he touches me or my face its like hes scared of breaking me.. its just so endearing.. like idk why im simping but when jena and tori and zinniah are all checking out ian im like uh huh and just daydreaming about me and this boy in a field with like flowers and a breeze. idk i feel like hes the FIRST person EVER in all of my series of crushes even the one i would consider my first “love” where i wouldn’t get bored with ever like we could just talk about life and just anything and he makes me feel so comfortable and beautiful on the inside.. like i could be in a igloo freezing to death and id be like happy because hes there with me?? he makes me want to be all simpy and gooey and icky and just WOW literally the first time this has happened... and i liked him even back when he wasnt all that at all.. im so incredibly attracted to him istg. i dream about him sm. he doesnt scare me or intimidate me like alot of men do.. he makes me feel safe and hes like this towering gaurdian angel.. idk but somehow im the protector?? idk if i could relate him to an object it would be a pillow even though hes like really skinny,, i feel wrong when i think about anyone besides him to be honest. or maybe im just attracted him because he seems like he would be capable of so much love. and no i see it the way he looks at other girls is different i dont feel jealous he looks at them how he would look at anyone else so it feels like hes seeing something with his eyes like something beyond. i just know if he loved me too he would never cheat on me.. and hes never hurt me before EVER i have no negative emotions associated with him at all except for missing him and his absense.. and like those few encounters we have just feel so magical. like the first day when we were the only ones in the storage room and i was carrying a box i could like feel his breathing and hear everything and hes just so respectful ahg liek he didnt even do the weird checking out thing that guys do when ur walking in front them he just asked me how my day was and how i felt :,) </3 and it feels like he has his head in the clouds and like this soul.. im in love with his soul.. when he touches my hand or something it feels like electricity but gentle. LIKE IS HE MY SOULMATE?? how was i instantly attracted to him.. and just everything about him is so oooh my... and i feel like he notices the little things that i do that nobody else notices.. like things about my personality? it makes me feel so appreciated... like i feel like his love is beyond material things.. like he says some weird things and might be kind of loony but theyre weird in like a ??? way not like a creepy way... i just want to press foreheads with him not even kiss that seems to obscene. like he is god LIKE HES SO LOONY is he alright?? like he acts like hes on psychedelics 24/7 and i like this??? and he IS different from everyone ive liked before because he feels magical not like someone i get shy around.. or when im just standing and he walks up and stands next to me or sits next to me.. and he never makes me feel dumb.. hes like quiet but it makes me feel so safe and im not used to it.. like i would be okay with just sitting in silence and just being with him in a room idc i feel like we can telepathically communicate.. he makes me think of pretty things nothing grimy. like ice and just air and snowflakes and angels and just like pretty fresh things.. im convinced hes a supernatural being at this point.. he just appears and sometimes i look for him in crowds and i find myself missing his PRESENSE.. like hes so perfect to daydream about.. if he wishes to be mine i feel like all my worries will fade and i will be complete. his smile is so cute.. i just want to see it all the time and i think i would physically gasp or pass away to see him frown or be in pain.. like it would literally physically hurt me idk why i feel so connected to him and while i was writing this i just see angel numbers like 2:22 and its not even obvious i just looked at the right time... i could spend eternity with him.. as long as hes happy ill be good.. i cant stop looking at him theres something androgenous about him too like he could satisfy my need for feminity and masculinity whilst being really masculine... everyone also thinks hes weird and different but i think hes perfect and a beautiful creature,,, he has the embodiment of pisces eyes they are so pretty and AHHBD.. and the night we were all sitting around the fire area and everyone else was closing their eyes and its just me and him looking into each others eyes and i feel so complete and we share a laugh... and the fact that he chose ME he chose me and it makes me so happy.. i think i would die of embarassment if he actually complimented my appearance because his compliments are so meaningful like WOAH this magical creature thinks i LOOK good too?? can we just be two ghosts in love ahahdja just our souls tied together.. he reminds me of smoke like the pretty smoke... nothing like cig smoke maybe like insense? idk like a drug but without the negative consequences..

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combat-wombatus · 3 years

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uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p

#coco answers #nonnie <3

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bastardguy · 3 years

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(haha there's very icky thoughts in this so don't read if it triggers ye, if anyone's reading this lmao) boy! it's one of those nights ain't it haha. ultrasadness. i dont have people to talk to which, yknow i feel like a lot of people don't have others to talk to. but anyways! i am sad! f! the most annoying aspect of myself i dislike is how one moment im daydreaming because hehe escapism and dont wanna talking to people at all then the, next moment im unbearably sad and i wanna! have friends that aren't people from my imagination. it's my fault, yep, its allll my fault, im not even trying to be sarcastic here, i know i should actively seek out people to be friends with them but!! im in my element to run around pretending i made fucking animations for my friend group that also exists! totally! it makes me feel great and content until i realise its not real! god am i pathetic haha! how do i improve ? how? why am i like this? is it because my brain views my escapism as safer and more wondrous then reality? to the po in t talking to people just? bore me? it's weird as hell, im probably just a selfish git but i genuinely look at chats and either go "conversation going,, i no want join cause rude" or "there's no point they're all so boring. being alive is boring. your life, your personality, you as a person is boring. that's why he left. he left for someone else he already had plans with, someone who he can actually see regularly in person in the future, someone who makes him happy. you never made him happy. he was miserable being stuck with you, that's why he left, that's why he immediately got into another relationship with someone else. you're why he lied to you, you're the problem, he hates you, you were an abusive fuck who couldn't keep his mouth shut and never changed. he's going to spend years being happy with someone and he's glad he's left you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. you're the problem. don't ever try again, you don't have thr privlage to die, not yet. wait until everyone's finally tired of your manuplitive, selfish shit then kill yourself. die. just fucking die. just die. no one will stay loving you, you'll be forgotten, why did you say so much? you're fucking obsessive and its all your fault. you existing in the first place was a mistake, when have you ever brought joy to people? when had anyone be glad that you're here? you're better off dead, you're better off dead. you know if she had the choice mother would pick a normal person as a child in a heartbeat. you know if she knew you were going to turn out this way she would have fucking killed you herself because you've been nothing a burden. she'll leave, just like he left and everyone else did. so what if you just followed along with everything they were saying? you should've been smart enough not to be a dick you asshole. anyone that comes into your life will leave, everyone will leave, everyone is going to leave. even thinking about this you're cementing it, it's going to happen because you're thinking so hard about it. all bad things happen to you because you think about them. it's your fault. every bad thing that happens is your fault, you deserve all the slander that will come to you, you will die alone. you will die alone. no one will miss you, you've had a sad pathetic lonely life being unwanted. and it's all your fault. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. you ungrateful, selfish bastard-" and its very unpog i dont like my brain.

i wish i could find life enjoyable again, i wish i liked talking to multiple people, i wish i had multiple people to talk to. i wish i, didn't have these fucking attachment and abandonment issues that just make me terrified of being close with someone again. i think i have rejection sensitive dysphoria and oh! boy! MM. an internal conflict of "do i have adhd or is it just my anxiety and life long loneliness" had been going on in my brain. because if i had adhd i think thatd explain, a lot actually uYubun, but also those symptoms could stem from uhh, childhood issues and stuff pfft. like id be socially withdrawn and daydream a lot, to the point where i avoided playing with other kids just so i could walk around the yard to think about stuff, which are symptoms of adhd but also it's because "brain got lowkey traumatised being neglected on a plane for so long as a baby without its mother then just got whipped around the country serveral times giving me 0 safe secure places." i, i don't know man. that's a lot i have to talk with my therapist in like half an hour haha.

wow i talk about my problems too much this is why he left me 😩

a ok uhm, uh, yea! im very lonely haha. there's like, a person who i could chat with but i dont want to bother them. they're a good friend but they've been busy and i feel like im highkey using them. which is not pog at all! im not fun to talk with and im very annoying hahaha!

why are people so untrustworthy. why am i sad? only god knows but im god, so god doesn't know.

i think me despretly trying to talk to someone while im sad is so, utterly selfish and pathetic. i mean come on man why only now? haha.

i mean i did start to emulate a lot of his bad behaviour but! it's ok i know what's bad to do know and ive learnt from this experience and am moving forward.

where does forward lead? i dont know! probably jobless and suicide but hahaha! im not gonna make it past 25 baby! im gonna fall in love with someone then they'll leave forever and ill die!! After my mum gets sick of me!! hahhaha!!!!! im not unstable right now, i don't even wanna die! that'd be so selfish id break my parents! haha! i want someone to love me as much as i love them and to hold them in my arms! i wanna be comfortable with someone! i wanna be held! i want someone who won't cheat on me!! i wanna be loved!! woohooo!!! that's all i want! yknow what else i want? a friend group thats genuinely happy to see me! people i can eat lunch with and laugh with! people that don't make me feel small and pathetic! and why can't i have that? because im a piece of filth that doenst deserve any of it because ive done nothing to earn it! how the fuck do i do stuff! to talk! how do i not feel hopeless and small all the time? no matter what i fucking say im going to be yelled at for not being positive! fuck! fuck. fuck you.

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smol-grey-tea · 4 years

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All Of The Things I Hate About MaDD

In no particular order

I don't know myself. I've been so trapped in a fake reality that I haven't gotten to know the most important person in my life. I don't really have any hobbies or do anything other than daydream.

I don't know reality. There's a lot of things that other people know about that I dont because I've never been interested in reality.

I'm not interested in reality. Its just so boring...

I'm distracted from important tasks. Eating, sleeping, showering, homework... Even if its boring, its still important.

I don't know how to socialise. I'm not sure if this caused my MaDD or if MaDD caused this, but a lot of the time when I'm in school at lunch and break I just sit there and listen to everyone else talk. I don't have anything to say anyway, even if people do want to talk to me.

I listen to a lot of music but I'm not interested in any specific genre. In fact, I have no idea what my favourite songs are because I never really listen to or think about them when I pace to them.

I think Im already going deaf from listening to loud music for hours every day for most of my life.

I don't feel original or creative because my daydreams are 99% pulled from other sources of media instead of my own brain. I used to draw and write a lot and I don't know why I stopped - maybe MaDD caused me to doubt my creative skills?

Leading on from that point - when I was younger I was defined by my creativity: MaDD makes me feel unoriginal. I've recently been defined by my intelligence: MaDD made me fail some of my latest exams. I'm often defined by my weirdness: because of MaDD I don't have social skills so I just say whatever comes to mind. I'm sometimes defined by how nice and open minded I am: I don't know if this is related to MaDD but I really feel like I've lost who I am and I feel like I've lost my spark for helping people...?

I feel almost disgusted with myself for how disturbing and violent some of my daydreams can be. Why does my brain enjoy torture?

I feel confused because I sometimes have sexual daydreams about my paras when I never have any sexual daydreams about my actual real life girlfriend.

On top of that, I rarely ever daydream about her. That just feels...weird.

I have fallen out with a friend because I was too preoccupied with a fictional world to help her.

I feels so fake. Its so bizarre, how can a person daydream every day for years like that? I can't help but feel (for other reasons as well) that I'm making it up for attention and, with the friend I mentioned above, I feel like I need to constantly justify myself for it.

I half do and half don't wanna live in my paracosms. I half do because I want them so bad, they've been there for me all the time. I half don't because their worlds are so dangerous. I'd die in an instant, surely.

I don't really want to recover because I love my daydreams so much. I cannot imagine my life without them. I don't have hobbies so I don't know what else I could do every day.

I've probably forgotten a few. I'll update if I think of more.

I just really feel like getting it all out in one big list. It feels less messy and confusing that way...

#madd #actually madd #actuallymadd #maladaptive daydreamer #maladaptivedaydreamingdisorder #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #maladaptive daydreaming #madd pains

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ridiculousravenclaw · 4 years

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The life of Elara Ware - chapter 3

So, funny story. I accidentally shut myself out of this account when I forgot my damn password. Then there was this pandemic and being technically a key worker, that was stress. Then I just started writing other stuff. So yeah, I kinda left this behind, which was a shame because I had a lot planned for it. But anyway here's chapter 3 as I wrote it ages ago and who knows, maybe I'll keep going. FYI I could not be bothered to go back and check it so theres almost definitely a spelling mistake or some grammatical errors. Sorry about it.

The next few days at The Burrow passed far too quickly for Elaras liking. It could be hectic at times with so many of them in one house. A fact Mrs Weasley continuously apologised for. But Elara, so used to being alone, loved the business of life at the Weasleys. She had missed George more than she thought she could. They relished in the time they spent together and, when they were sure no one was around to see, stole as many kisses as they could. With so many of them in the house though the later was practically impossible and more than once their embrace had been broken up my someone walking suddenly into the room. Ron couldn't look Elara in the eye for days after he walked in to find a particularly passionate scene. In fairness it was actually his room.

The fullness of the house had at least meant that they could stage 4 a side quidditch matches in the garden with the Weasleys and Harry. Hermione preferred to watch. When they weren't doing that Elara found she enjoyed chatting with Ginny, who to Elaras great surprise was not as girly or shy as she thought she was. Or talking with the eldest 2 Weasley boys; neither of whom she'd met before and had a number of interesting tales about the twins growing up. Then there was Harry, Ron and Hermione. They were a bit of an unlikely trio and Elara was convinced Ron fancied Hermione, but nether the less they were obviously good friends and Elara enjoyed spending time with them. Especially Harry. She'd always really liked Harry Potter, he didn't want the pitty the world gave him, he just wanted a normal life. Elara found she really respected that. The only person in the house Elara found she clashed with was Percy. Though she got the impression that it wasn't just her he had that affect on. For lack of a better word, Percy was a bit of a snob. Thankfully she rarely saw him as he spent most days at work and often chose to stay late most nights.

It was the last day of the holidays and they were all sat in the living room except for Mr Weasley who still wasn't back from work. Elara had parked herself on the furthest seat from her boyfriend and his twin. There was 2 reasons for this. First it meant she didnt have to resist the temptation of his soft lips whilst everyone was here to see. Secondly it made it far easier to feign ignorance to what the pair were currently doing. As they sat huddled together, talking in hushed whispers. She wasnt entirely sure what they were up to but it was almost certainly to do with Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, something Mrs Weasley highly disapproved of. As she sat alone she found her mind wondering and without meaning to found herself going over the dream she'd had the night before. She couldn't explain why but it had been bothering her all day. It wasn't a scary dream or in anyway disturbing. But Elara found herself shaken up by it none the less. Especially as she was almost certain she'd had that exact dream before.

In the dream Elara was walking through the woods at night. The only respite from the dark provided by the moon as its faint light battled through the thick branche above. She's looking for something but what it is or where she should look remains a mystery. Still she keeps going. Undeterred as the trees and undergrowth becomes denser and more wild. Then all of a sudden she sees a shape moving through the shadows. It slides slowly through the trees towards her until it stops in a clearing ahead. Bathing in the moonlight is a great white fox. Larger than any fox had the right to be and more majestic than any she'd seen. Its pure white coat shining brightly as though lighting up from within. Elara feels a pang of familiarity deep in her heart as she looks into its eyes. She doesn't run or scream. She knows she's safe. The white fox is here to help her, like a mother looking out for her cub. Its gaze is mesmerising and Elara could read the message in its eyes. 'follow me. I'll show you where it is'

"hey! daydreamer! wake up!" Elara was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts to find the whole room staring at her. She shakes herself mentally, uncomfortable by the sudden attention on her.

"sorry" she said trying to laugh it off dismissively "miles away"

"whatcha thin huh in abou?" asked Ron mid yawn. Elara sighed

"that out of all Georges siblings I like you the least" she said dryly

"really?"

"no" she says with a smile, earning a few laughs. Ron a few seconds behind the others before he got the joke.

Suddenly his face changed

"woah!" he said, staring at Elara in amazement.

"what?" Elara said. she suddenly felt a bit self conscious.

"your eyes are different colours!"

"oh" She giggled breathing a sigh of relief. "you've just noticed? really? how long have I known you?"

Everyone was laughing again

"what. have they always been like that?"

"yes!" everyone else said in chorus.

"Since I was a baby Ron. what did you think I did it deliberately? I got bored one day and coloured one in with a sharpie?"

Ron made a face somewhere between confusion and embarrassment.

"what's a sharpie?" Ah, Elara thought. muggle reference, complete miss.

" Well we all know ickle Ronnie kins is a complete idiot at the best of times. "Said George as he crossed the room and squeezed on the armchair next to Elara before pulling her onto his lap.

"what is a sharpie?" he added to her at a whisper. Elara smiled and shook her head dismissively. The rest of the room going back to their individual conversations.

"muggle stuff" she answered

"Ah. well then whatever you do, dont mention it in front of dad. he'll get all excited and interrogate you again." George said as he started rubbing small circles onto her hip with his thumb. Elara couldn't help but smile at the gesture.

"oh stop it hes not that bad. " She said rolling her eyes.

"yes he is, remember when you mentioned the cinema?" Elara laughed. She did remember that. It had taken her the best part of an hour to explain the concept to Mr Weasley.

"Anyway. Don't be so mean to your brother, as I recall it took you months to bloody notice." George looked blank for a moment.

"notice what?" he asked

"my eyes!"

"oh" he remarked, realisation dawning.

"it wasnt months was it? maybe a few weeks" Elara was giggling now, enjoying the slight embarrassment creeping into George's cheeks.

"nope definitely months. it was around Christmas time. remember? you thought I'd done it with magic to be all christmassy. Though how that's a christmassy thing to do I dont know."

"oh. yeah. well... that's only cause I'm not a weird person who stares at pretty girls eyes" George said, mockingly batting his eyelids at her. Elara grinned fondly at him, then leaned forward and left a light peck on his lips.

"Yeah you are."

"a couple of months is good for him" Fred said " George didn't realise we were identical until we were 7" Elara started slightly having not realised Fred had come over. He was sat on the floor next Charlie looking amused.

"in fairness that's not so obvious as I have always been way better looking than you." George retorted quickly.

Both twins sniggered and Elara noted that even their laughter was the same.

"did we mention he's delusional? sure you want him El?" Fred said

"Oh someone sounds jealous to me. Don't worry Fred I'm sure we can find a girl to take pity and go out with you"

Elara could tell this verbal tennis wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

" *cough* testosterone *cough* "

"oh look your fathers coming" Mrs Weasley suddenly announced getting everyones attention. Sure enough the hand on the grand father clock which bore mr Weasleys likeness had moved and now pointed at travelling. Then it moved once more settleing with the other hands on home. At the same time the door opened and Mr Weasleys voice could be heard from the kitchen. Mrs Weasley scuttled out to greet him. With the others distracted by this Elara inexplicably found her mind once again wondering back to her dream and the White Fox. Its magnetic familiar eyes drawing her in.

"you okay?" George said quietly. Wrapping his arms around Elara protectively and pulling her back to the present.

"yeah of course" She said trying to sound as casual as possible. George wasnt convinced. He knew her far too well and having shared it with him that morning knew what she was thinking about.

"It was just a dream you know El. I know it was a bit freaky. But it cant hurt you" he said, squeezing her arm reassuringly. That's just the thing, she thought, it wasn't scary to me. But she smiled at him appreciatively.

"I know"

#fanfic #george weasley #georgeweasleysgf #gryffindor #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #the weasleys #fred weasley #mr weasley #mrs weasley #weasley wizard wheezes #ron weasley #hermione granger #elara ware #hogwarts #amateurhour

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xopinkmilk18xo · 4 years

Text

Get to know me!

1. Name

Courtney Jane Smith

2. Nationality

Australian

3. Age

4. Birthday

11th December 2001

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)

Sagittarius / Ophiuchus

6. Gender

Female

7. Sexuality

Bisexual💙💖💜

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Ew I know

9. What do you/did you study?

I will be going on to study Children’s Nursing at University but in school I studied Sociology, Photography and Childcare

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?

I currently hold a part time job at my local corner shop, but will hopefully end up with a job as a children’s nurse or something to do with childcare:)

11. Your birth order

Aaron, Charlotte, Abbey, Me:), Lacey

(I think that is what this means)

12. How many siblings do you have?

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Yes but not with my first oldest sister

14. How many friends do you have?

Like 2 lol

15. Your relationship status

Taken🥰

16. What do you look for in a SO?

Good personality, being good looking helps (dont want to date a troll u know) and well I guess that’s it really

17. Do you have a crush?

Yes on my boyfriend

18. When did you have your first kiss?

When I was 14

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Serious and meaningful

20. What are your deal breakers?

I’m not really sure:/

21. How was your day?

It was okay, could’ve been better but overall it was meh

22. Favourite food & drink

I love pasta like I could marry pasta haha. And my favourite drink is probably either fresh orange juice or something fizzy

23. What position do you sleep in?

On my side, hugging my pillow with my leg out as if it’s straddling someone (I’m lonely, my boyfriend needs to stay over at some point)

24. What was your last dream about?

I honestly wish I could remember but they are so fucking crazy right now

25. Your fears

Spiders, snakes, heights, large crowds, death (morbid I know) and being lonely:(

26. Your dreams

To travel the world with my baby🥺 as well as buy my own house, get my dream career, get married and have babies (basic I know but this is what I want in life and will feel so lucky and blessed if this happens)

27. Your goals

Same as the above I guess? To travel the world with the loml, become a child nurse, get my dream house then get married, have babies and live a happy long life:)

28. Any pets?

Yes! A cat called Binka and a dog called Shiro (Japanese for White as he is a white Japanese Akita)

29. What are your hobbies?

Cooking, baking, cleaning (weird I know), singing, dancing and sleeping haha

30. Any cool places in your area?

Um, I mean I live about 30 minutes from the beach and it has a “hidden cave” (it’s quite easy to spot if you know where it is) that I go to with a few friends some nights and watch the sunset. So that’s pretty cool

31. What was your last awkward situation?

They happen so often I don’t even know which one to write about I’m such an awkward person lol

32. What is your last regret?

I don’t know really

33. Language/s you can speak

I can speak Italian, Spanish, Russian and some French

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

To a certain extent, yes

35. Have any quirks?

Um I’m not sure?

36. Your pet peeves

I have so many but my BIGGEST pet peeve is the people who like to one-up a situation so I have a friend like this but she’s like one of my only friends so I don’t want to say anything woops but for example I could say to her “I only got 5 hours sleep” she would then turn around and be like “oh well I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 3am and couldn’t sleep” it’s like okay cool but stop trying to one up me thank u bye

37. Ideal vacation

DisneyWorld or Bora Bora (two complete different places I know but I’ve been to both many times and they’re both amazing)

38. Any scars?

I have a scar on my chin from when I hit it on the stair rail when I was a child and I have a surgery scar from when I had my appendix removed

39. What does your last text message say?

It’s me texting my email to my boyfriend because he needed it for something (kinda personal nothing bad tho)

40. Last 5 things from your search history

Majority of it right now is me googling Birthday presents for a family member as well as flight times because I was curious what the time from LA to Texas was haha

41. What’s your [device] background?

Lock screen is me and my boyfriend and my home screen is a flower picture I took

42. What do you daydream about?

A lot of different things, it all depends on how I’m feeling

43. Describe your dream home

Something small and quaint yet modern and big enough to raise a big family

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion

I have nothing against religion and what people believe in. I personally am not religious but I do believe in something. Not God or Jesus but I believe that something like that HAS to exists (sorry if I offended anyone I really did not mean to:/)

45. Your personality type

Really shy and quiet (social anxiety tings😚dont worry I have actually been diagnosed) but ince you get to know me I come out of my shell a bit more

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done

Went sky diving (it was terrifying)

47. Are you happy with your current life?

Yes but no

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life

I don’t really know how the hell to answer this question I’m sorry🥺

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

A lot of different colours but I wear mainly grey and black clothes hehe

50. Favourite colour to wear?

Black or grey🤪

51. How would you describe your style?

I don’t really know, definitely not trendy I can tell you that but all the styles I want to try I just KNOW will look bad on me

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Not really no lol😚✌🏼

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I honestly would change my entire face, especially my nose, if it was smaller I’d feel slightly better about my appearance (nothing against big noses lol I just don’t like mine)

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I had my ears and nose pierced but took them out and just forgot to put them back in and now the holes have sorta closed up.

I then also have a small turtle on my ankle - for a close friend (still alive lol but it’s just a nice thing to have) and I have plans to get a few more just need to decided when I want them because I keep chickening out

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes sorta but only by my boyfriend

56. Favourite aesthetic?

I’m not sure?

57. A popular trend that you dislike

I’m not really aware of any popular trends as of right now tbh

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

Adore You by Harry Styles and for some reason Feel so Close by Calvin Harris

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.

Mr Brightside - I hate the song (dont attack me pls) but it lowkey, high key is a BOP

60. Favourite genre?

Mainly throwback songs so I guess pop songs? Tbh my genre of music is all over the place

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?

I love 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction but that’s it really

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

I HATE Dance Monkey and High Hopes (they get on my nerves so much idk why)

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5

September - Earth Wind & Fire

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

Jealous - Labrinth

Bad Romance - Halestorm (such a bop)

Break Free - Ariana Grande

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing, I also play piano and guitar (strings have broken though and so haven’t played in a while)

65. Do you like karaoke?

I LOVE karaoke

66. Own any albums?

Yes, mainly 5SOS and One Direction haha

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?

Sometimes, no particular station as I only listen to it to fill in the silence in certain situations

68. Favourite movie/series?

I love the Frozen films but also the Harry Potter films sooooo much

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc

I don’t really have a favourite tbh

70. Your fictional crush/es

I know it’s typical but I have the biggest crush on Harry Potter lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

I don’t know?

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so

No not really

73. Favourite greek god?

I don’t have a favourite Greek god but I like Athena purely because I like the name haha

74. A legend from where you live that you like

I don’t really know of any legends however there is a myth that a Panther is on the loose in the Blue Mountains

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?

I like to look at art and admire it however I do not have a favourite artist or anything like that

76. Can you share your other social media?

I sure can:)

Twitter Instagram Wattpad

Snapchat - cjmushmush (you don’t have to add it and also don’t question the name I was 11)

77. Favourite youtubers?

Shane Dawson, Ryland Adams, Morgan Adams, Jeffree Star and The Dolan Twins

78. Favourite platform?

I am obsessed with Tik Tok so I’d say that’s probs my fave

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?

Far too much I can tell you that

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?

I used to play minecraft and now all I do is play Sims 3 and 4 which are my absolute faves

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)

I don’t really have any

82. Do you play board/card games?

Yes but not very often

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

No I didn’t even know that was a thing

84. Favourite holiday

I LOVE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH❤️💚❤️💚

85. Are you into dramas?

Yes

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?

I don’t know what a death note is?

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I wouldn’t choose world peace because then everything would be the same and it would be boring but if I had the power I would make sure everyone had a stable home with at least hot clean water and a nice warm bed, as well as curing world hunger because I’m nice like that

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Probably not

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A ghost

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Become a ghost haha

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

Anything but Courtney - my name was almost Octavia so that would also be out of the question

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?

So many people I’d love to do this with so I’m not sure

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🦥 (only because I love sloths)

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

(these are the most random things I’m sorry)

I was born in the UK (not true, born in Sydney)

I am not single (True, I am in a relationship:))

I love avocado (I actually DESPISE IT)

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because that can = snuggles duh

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Be a villain because I hate the attention (hero would probs get a lot of attention) and everyone hates me anyway lol

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Probably sing everything considering I do that a lot anyway

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Control time because I’d go back to the past a change some things then go back to today so I can still be with my boyfriend❤️

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Be immortal that would be pretty fun

100. ….. or …..?

What does this one even mean?

#gettoknowme #gettoknowmequestions #gettoknowmetag

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