really sorry if i caused you any trouble or stress, i'm not too familiar with this kind of thing haha ;w;

absolutely not, dont worry about it!! im not stressed or troubled, tbh this is the 3rd time i think that im explaining how these work and i dont rlly mind this bc as i said, im not someone who gets mad and screams at ppl bc they mistag smth; but i dont want others to have that kinda experience and get yelled at for smth silly like tagging a ttl piece as zc bc they didnt know. and some artists etc rlly care a bit too much about this kinda thing

(plus the whole misinformation thing and ppl yelling that i dont draw the thing they thought i draw etc etc)

youre all good anon!! no worries at all! <3

hey daisy as a another sangyeon ult & a korean woman i wanted to give u more context to why sk women r so mad abt the bj thing. its not that we’re upset he made a sex joke or that his humor was vulgar/dark/etc, its the specific word he used for bj. it’s not a common word & is rly only learned from watching corn. thats the issue, bc specifically asian corn is almost always misogynistic & objectifying, & when a sk man uses that word it’s insensitive bc of it’s context involving objectification.

(this is not to say that watching corn or saying the word makes sangyeon a misogynist, i dont agree with those ppl accusing him of blatantly being one at all. one mistake doesn’t define a person)

i dont condone all the extreme misinformation n hate twds sangyeon n the rest of tbz but i just wanted to clarify. as a sk woman before a deobi i cant defend him for using that word, but i will recognize that he made a mistake. and that’s okay, we r all human that makes mistakes, but i hope instead of completely defending him & saying he did nothing wrong, as deobis that care about him we should hold him accountable & let him learn to be a better person by letting him know his word choice was hurtful.

even if he didnt say the word, the bottom line is that things are unclear, women r hurt, n even us (k)deobis r looking for a statement &/or apology n we shouldn’t invalidate the women who r upset 🤍

first off, I apologize if how I came off sounded like I didn't care about the deeper meaning of the word and how it affects sk women!! I totally understand the context and ofc as to why people (esp the sk women) would be offended

I guess I'm really more of pissed off at those who were spreading the info so quick without stopping to think first or those who immediately say "where did he learn this from" as if he's a child (if that makes sense?)

that's really what made me bothered the most that I guess there is some kind of double standard with idols for some fans (not all), like they demand for shirtless pics but when the idol is seen with a vape or says a cuss word they get angry - that will never make sense to me

For this scenario with sangyeon, this is a special case ofc since the word that was supposedly said had a deeper meaning than just the simple phrase, I totally agree that IST should've at least cleared our what was happening instead of just deleting since at the end of the day, a lot of the things that get recorded and posted are the company's doing.

Again, thank you for the context! I'm not mad or pissed off at all with the backlash towards the word, but more of the fans / non-fans who were quick to judge and who were hypocritical about it (again, had it been a different word)

the people who get mad abt self diagnosis come off to be the kind of ppl who dont want to see us being proud of who we are. many of the people who say that were "making autism a trend" are people who come off as simply not wanting to see autistic people or what they have to say. so much of the conversations around autistic people come from people who aren't autistic or from medical sources. because of this, the way people perceive autistic people is barely as people at all. so when they're faced with our humanity, it makes them uncomfortable because of their preconceived notions already surrounding autism. i'm a nonbinary lesbian, and the same kind of arguments are used consistently. they don't want us to be ourselves "out in the open" or they want to be completely separate from their lives. they don't understand us, and they don't want to, so they turn it on the oppressed as OUR fault.

more ranting under the cut...

also, the "rise of autism" is bullshit. we do live in an internet age, but that isn't always necessarily a bad thing. before, many people only assumed if they were autistic based off of stereotypes. that didn't mean people werent autistic. i have relatives who have gotten diagnosed as having adhd and dyslexia in their 60s because theres more information readily available about it. if this is true for my middle aged aunties, why is it not true for younger people? women, people who... aren't children, and poc are less likely to be diagnosed with adhd or autism because of assumptions that medical professionals have (i'm not gna talk abt that im sure we all know abt discrimination in the medical field). in my case, all of my aunties are middle-aged/elderly east asian women. even still, one of my aunties was told there was "no use in diagnosing her with autism because shes too old". it's bullshit. they're not even saying "you don't have autism", they're just straight up denying you access to diagnosis.

because it's well known that we are refused access to diagnosis, many people rely on self diagnosis, not just because we made it up, but because we've done thorough research on it, contemplated on our own behaviors, talked to other people who have autism/adhd/etc. i was able to self diagnose myself because i was friends with people who were neurodivergent, some of them who were professionally diagnosed and others who were self diagnosed. having people who have similar behaviors to you that attribute those behaviors to a more complex reason other than "im not good with humour" makes you think. self diagnosis isn't just someone waking up and thinking we have autism, it's something you deliberate on. besides, i think the active pushback on self diagnosis is simply because we're talking about it. many people self diagnose before getting professionally diagnose. you can't walk into a psychiatrist's office and they just tell you that you have autism (esp with the way our medical system works). people like me for example, self diagnose in order to acknowledge that we have this disability/disorder, and then later (sometimes, not everyone) get a professional diagnosis, or at least seek one. of all the things i have self-diagnosed myself with, i was never wrong. because self diagnosis isn't a joke.

self diagnosis isn't an epidemic, its a rising of people being able to know why they are the way they are.

if people want to point out one or two people who've "faked" diagnosis, it's suuuuuch bullshit. besides, sometimes in the MEDICAL WORLD people get misdiagnosed. i have no problem with people trying to figure out who they are, and making mistakes on the way. if someone thinks they have autism, then realize it might be adhd or ocd, that's fine and it's better than getting a professional misdiagnosis. theres so much misinformation and widespread stereotypes that make it hard for people to understand themselves, and many disorders have overlap. i have autism, adhd, and a learning disability (and have wondered almost my entire life if i have ocd lmao). autism can be similar to adhd can be similar to a learning disability. mental disabilities/disorders can be complex as fuck. for example, i have epilepsy, which is known to be more apparent in people with autism. when i tell people that its probably confusing as fuck. i dont understand it either.

because, not to get psychological, but our brains don't know they're autistic, or have adhd, or are neurotypical. WE know we are, because we take these things our brain does and attribute them to a label. because the world has made that label. im not calling it a label in a bad way, or saying its wrong, more to acknowledge that autism can be different for everyone, and that's because autism isn't one thing. its not one carbon copy brain that we all have. no one has the same brain. not entirely, and throughout our lives our brain develops and changes. my grandfather was older than the thing he got diagnosed with. doesn't mean he didn't have it. doctors just studied and studied and eventually were able to attribute behaviors to a unique diagnosis

i could rant on forever but im ending it here cus im tired

@ diaspora kids in my notes: Tapos na ho ang botohan. The voting is over. There are ongoing protests nationwide against the Commission on Elections for rigging this election in favor of Marcos-Duterte camp. I am not a journalist. I don't need to say "alleged". Marcos' rise back into Malacañang has been predetermined from the moment his family started their social media cleansing campaign with the help of Cambridge Analytica, since Imee Marcos became Chairman of Senate Electoral Reform, since COMELEC was filled by Duterte appointees, since COMELEC procured contracts from Duterte crony (seen being Extra friendly with the Marcoses), Dennis Uy. These people used EVERY dirty trick in the book - from vote buying, pre-shaded ballots, usage of decade-old vote counting machines despite a significant increase in COMELEC's budget causing breakdowns and voters having to stay in line for hours on end not being able to sleep in their own homes just so they can cast and protect their vote, to literal electoral violence, poll watchers being attacked and murdered. And yet COMELEC continues to call this election "successful and smooth" when there are multiple reports of electoral anomalies that have remained unaddressed.

Again there are ongoing protests nationwide but please do not mistake that as anything similar to what US citizens did in Capitol Hill. I get the urge to compare especially when you don't have full context. This is about electoral fraud and voter disenfrachisement. This is about an unrepentant son of a former tyrannical dictator claiming the seat in the highest position in the land despite barely even doing the work necessary to prove himself to the electorate beyond flashing his fucking surname. This man did the absolute bare minimum, not showing up to debates nor interviews unless the interviewer is friendly to his camp or his family. Watch 2016 elections clips. He did this because he knows he will appear incompetent vs the other candidates. Because he IS incompetent and a liar and a fucking thief. He does not give a shit about the truth nor the Filipino people. So no, this is not at all like a bunch of entitled babies storming the US Capitol so I would like to not hear that fucking bullshit from another fil-am freethinker who doesn't realize that being able to take a neutral stance on the matter is already such a massive privilege in itself, nor yet ANOTHER white man who thinks they know all about my country and my people's history just because they read a few articles in the New York Times! Fuck both of you, ok? Stay in your fucking lanes.

Yes there are ppl blowing things out of proportion and sending genuine hate and dogpiling the CCs when its 4am for 3/4 of them but at the same time its Very important to remember that the majority are fans who Dont want them cancelled, they just want an apology and are minorities who have been hurt by the insensitive jokes. Most ppl I've seen genuinely trying to get them to apologise are big fans who were Hurt by their actions. Apparently theyve been trying to get Techno to speak up about this for months and he hasnt, which is why it's been the final straw for some ppl who are unsubscribing

The people who are genuinely hurt and just want an apology from the CCs they're fans of are getting mixed in with a crowd of ppl spreading misinformation and hate

Again, I'll delete all these posts later on but I just feel like I gotta speak up about some of this bc it seems really bad

Please dont get mad at the fans who are minorities who were affected by what Techno n Wilbur said! They're not trying to spread hate or cancel, they want an apology

oh my god you guys, the new COPPA thing will NOT help children ffs

listen i care a lot about kids safety online, as someone who’s had. very bad experiences on the internet when i was younger, i get it ok. i get it.

but the whole new COPPA thing will not only hurt creators, but will also do more harm than good in helping to keep kids safe.

i see a lot of people painting the FTC as 100% reasonable and youtube as 100% at fault (or conversely, youtube as innocent martyrs and the FTC as evil), personally, i think both the FTC and youtube are at fault here. its reasonable for the FTC to be concerned, but theyre trying to implement laws abt things they dont know anything about, and meanwhile youtube is trying to “solve” this in the worst possible way.

yall are gonna be big mad at me for saying this but. children seeing personalized ads do not hurt them any more than they do adults. let me explain.

(note: before i say anything more i wanna get this out of the way: whether youtube collecting data for ads AT ALL, is bad is a discussion for another day, it’s NOT what we should be focusing on right now, so i will not bring it up in this post)

youtube obviously does not collect this data in the youtube kids app, cuz it’s explicitly made for kids. this is an issue regarding youtube main, specifically, kids under 13 using their parents accounts to watch videos (as a sidenote, the whole thing the FTC were concerned about seems to be youtube collecting data WITHOUT PARENTAL CONSENT, but parents allowing their kids to use youtube main sounds a lot like consent to me. honestly i might b wrong abt this but to me it seems like the easiest way for youtube to solve this problem would be to add smth in their tos abt the data collected and how letting any1 under 13 use the main site = consent to collecting their data, but i digress.)

this means that any information collected is NOT the kids information, but the parents, since the child is using their account. there is absolutely no way to tell if a child or an adult is using the account, hence why youtube is going after “”kids content”” and assuming EVERYONE who watches “”kids content”” is a child (remember that this doesnt only affect like peppa pig episodes and kids nursery rhymes and stuff, but ANY content that youtube n the FTCs vague rules consider ‘for kids’. with that in mind, hopefully i dont have to explain how stupid that is)

lemme repeat there is functionally ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to tell that a child is watching rather than an adult.

there’s also the fact that creators/users on youtube have absolutely no way of accessing the information collected, all we get is vague things like age range, gender, country. we do not get ANY information that’d let us see individual users data, let alone use it to contact them.

but basically, kids information is NOT being gathered, youtube kids does not gather this information, and youtube main gathers the information of the PARENTS, not the kids. so basically, this is a non-issue, and going through with these new regulations to “solve” this non-issue is dumb and jsut hurts EVERYONE.

now, here’s why i believe this will actually do more harm than good:

videos marked as “kids content” will not have personalized ads, meaning their ad revenue will drop with anything from 60-90%

also videos with this marking will not have comments, not be added to any playlists, etc. basically they’ll have less visibility and have a harder time being discovered.

big corporations will find a way to deal with this but smaller kids content creators won’t. many ppl who made content for kids will be forced to quit, since it’s just not sustainable anymore, meaning there’ll be a decrease in quality content for kids to watch.

but it gets worse. since these new rules will also affect “child attractive content”, this will actually give creators incentive to create more mature content to avoid the dreaded “made for kids” checkbox. especially considering any violations of this extremely vague rule can result in a 42k fine PER VIDEO. no one wants that.

so to make sure youtube and the FTC will not consider their content “for kids”, many channels that were previously child friendly (though not directly aimed at children) will start deliberately making their content more mature to alienate kids.

so with actual kids content decreasing, and child friendly content being replaced by more mature content, there’ll be MUCH LESS quality stuff for kids to watch, possibly leading them to watch the new mature content instead, so kids are just gonna risk seeing more stuff that’s harmful to them (with the same personalized ads that were the god damn problem to begin with so like good job on not solving anything)

basically this change will harm creators AND kids and not really help anyone in the long run

now, again i think the FTC and youtube are both at fault here.

youtube because they suck and can’t come up with any better solution.

the FTC because they’re trying to pass laws they know zero about. (seriously. a youtuber n former lawyer went to DC to talk to them abt the new rules and it turns out the FTC are soooo misinformed abt this it aint even funny)

and i’m very tired of people with negative braincells acting like this change is going to help kids at all.

it’s also actually kind of dangerous that ppl are saying “go tell youtube to change things, not the FTC”, because youtube doesn’t listen to ppl.  i thought that much would be apparent by now. youtube does not care abt its userbase.

the FTC, however, does and is willing to take ppls comments til like december 9th so pls go send them a comment.

im not saying you shouldnt blame youtube at all, or ask them to change, but dont just ignore the FTC’s role in this pls.

Hello! I am a singlet and I really want to be a good ally to systems and people with DID/OSDD. I think very highly of you, so I figured you were the best person to ask on this topic. Please don’t feel obligated to reply, but if you have any suggestions as to how I can be a good ally and supportive of my system friends, I would very much appreciate it! Thank you

heyyy!! this is katy. this ask is like so sweet, jackson is gonna be gone for a while tho so i think i’ll answer it with a couple things sterling and i can think of? just until he’s back and can add his own takes lol

okay the biggest thing is just. understand DID/OSDD, be willing to learn and unlearn. u probably have a lot of ideas about it that are very wrong and that’s okay, systems aren’t mad at you for being misinformed, you just need to be willing to like. fix that. most systems (us in particular) are happy 2 answer questions, especially to close friends, but it can get EXHAUSTING to explain your condition constantly so we rlly prefer if you check out resources on your own for at least basic questions. i recommend umm... actually i don’t know very many resources LOL we’ll have to wait for jackson to get back to u on that. but ik there are good youtubers and jackson is also working on a dictionary of terms that he’s like. straight up collecting statistics for via surveys so it is going to slap pretty hard

honestly one thing we rlly appreciate is just when friends r like. willing and interested to meet our alters? obviously we dont want you to be like, creepy about it (making us a psych project or whatever) but if youre like. happy to meet a new alter it makes us feel so much better about being there lol and it makes whoever ur original friend in the system was feel way less guilty about switching. our sexy huge meated friend jinx (idk your url babe im sorry) is super sweet and always like. welcoming to new alters and happy to meet them and it makes us stan him sooo hard

please please please dont get mad at systems for not remembering shit. like. we have amnesia lol. some ppl will be like “why don’t you remember this thing i said to your alter” & we have to be like. that’s not me ((((((: (mostly ppl with DID and i think OSDD-1a get amnesia but i think ppl with OSDD-1b might have fuzzy memory too? i have no idea lol)

jackson has a post about system pride day that might be relevant <3

OH OMG and sterling said to add don’t ask invasive questions!! this doesnt rlly apply to me so much bc like. my backstory is notttt sad lollll but like. ppl will literally be like “why are you a demon? do you think you have a soul” to him LMAO oh my god also he said to add sometimes people are creepy about him to jackson apparently? OK DON’T. be invasive and also don’t be like “can i fuck your demon alter” i think these are very basic rules

that’s all i can think of!! watch jackson come back and be like. well first of all that whole answer was incomprehensible,

its strange to me when ppl say stuff about burning rescue having like a personal vendetta/hatred for the burnish bc they.. literally do not! they have no problem with the burnish and thats further evidenced by them trying to defend them at the pizza place! they thought mad burnish was hurting people which was why they were happy to capture them, but galo has no VENDETTA or even dislike against these people. hes misinformed and because of it can get some stuff wrong (assuming the burnish didnt need to eat, but when lio said ‘is that what you really think of the burnish? we’re humans, just like you’ he apologized). like technically galo and lio are on opposite sides of a war here but they have no problems with EACH OTHER and really no problems with the COLLECTIVE people. galo fights fires to protect people. lio starts fires to protect people. and neither of them have anything against each other. they didnt start off hating each other. they started off fighting against what they THOUGHT the other person STOOD FOR. a big part of promare is them realizing that their goals actually do align- saving people. and theyre not as different as they thought they were! theyre people and they can understand each other AS PEOPLE! i dont rly know where im going with this i just wanted to clarify cuz ppls word choices can rattle me a bit when galo and lio did not hate each other and never did

im not sorry but being a femme for me (and lots of other femmes out there) has a lot to do with my unattraction, inability to love and be with a man and not just my gender how that presents and my connection to butches/studs and association with other wlw

like i really dont know anyway other to identify like i dont want to ever have an identity that others can assume im able to be in a relationship with a man, could find a man attractive could ever be happy with a man

its hurtful to see hear and have other lgbt ppl shame and harass u for that, like i dont think bi/pan women are evil or fucking stealing for being misinformed/calling themselves femme/butch but it is just hard when my lesbianism gets constantly erased thru that

so many ppl think im able to be attracted to men when i say im a femme and that hurts, makes me sick

so many ppl dont know what stone/high femme is and some of these "uwu kweer femmes" will shame and get mad at u for being a "pillow princess" but turn around and call themselves a fucking high femme

lets please talk about how hard it is to navigate your identity as a femme as in dyke when you see so many people calling themeslves femmes who have the ability to be attracted to/be with men, not that that is something to be shamed of its just.....not me or lesbianism or part of the experience of being a femme

like when i read shit from bisexual doe's talking about how femme was restricting for them i really started to understand that wlw who arent dykes feel pressured to id this way to flag gay, which isnt something they should go thru!! bi/pan wlw shouldnt be pressured into things that are like lesbian or striaght only! they deserve their experiences to be shared and heared and have terms that fully encompass their relationships!!! which isnt butch or femme!!! because we only have ability to love women, and while bi/pan women and us share a kinship it does a dis service to all of us when were using the same terms

even if you dont agree with me personally i have empathy and compassion for you

i belive there is liberation for all wlw and we are a lot closer than often assumed!! but i think there is use in having lesbian/bi specfic terms so we all can have room for our specfic issues/trauma connected to our identities and have solidarity on things all wlw go thru is very helpful

no im not some evil lesbian sepratist, im a stone femme dyke who thinks both lesbians and bi/pan women deserve our own terms and communities that refect our unique experiences!!! we have a lot of shared experiences and traumas and thats why we need soidarity and communal support!!! but there are experiences that are lesbian or bi specfic and thats ok!!

[transmisogynists dont even try]

(not the prev anon just wanted to ask) what's the difference between haikaveh and kavetham? and if i just want to see sfw, is there a tag for that so i don't have to look through 2 tags? and don't care wehter its haikaveh or kavetham (i personally just scroll throug the kaveh tag as i get to see him and alhaitham)

on my blog everything is sfw bc this is my sfw blog. anything suggestive is tagged as #suggestive u can filter out. theres nothing explicit or nsfw here

first name in ships indicates who tops/bottoms→ kavetham (top kaveh/bottom haitham), haikaveh (top haitham/bottom kaveh), etc etc

when ppl use these its not always for nsfw stuff ofc. its enough if you just block nsfw stuff out and then u can safely go through kavetham/haikaveh stuff

but ye like i said this is my sfw blog and it doesnt rlly matter here as i personally dont rlly care about it anw but i know people do and some really get mad and rude if you mistag stuff etc (esp on twitter, i already saw enough weird rude ppl yell at each other)

so i dont want ppl come for my butt and yell at me that i draw kavetham after all on my other accs bc they assumed i draw haikaveh bc of misinformation and care too much about this thing

for sfw in the end, it doesnt matter. but just wanted to clarify this is what i usually draw so ppl dont yell at me bc they didnt know !

god my fuckin temperament is too weak to handle thinking about inguinal hernias anymore today. this: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-testicular-pain is still the only link i can find that has any confirmation of it as a danger to trans women who tuck. but it doesn't go into detail about how the actual hernia is occurring and what the relationship is with tucking. but at least it confirms a correlation so i know that it is in fact a danger and not just wild speculation or something based solely on one person’s experience, which may or may not reflect the rest of the community. from what i can guess its probably like? pushing the testicles into the inguinal cavity is distending it and weakening the muscles, which is allowing the intestines to slip through into the cavity. i wonder if theres like, something in this to do with like, physical exertion, bc it could also be that tucking is creating a weakness that is getting exacerbated by a moment of physical exertion? or maybe by moving in a way that like, affects the muscles in there? idk. there really isnt a lot of info about this and im not a doctor so the best i can do is speculation. but i dont think the idea that tucking is distending the inguinal cavity which is weakening the associated abdominal muscles is too extreme of a jump. this is one of those times where i really really wish there was more medical information and research about trans bodies, bc most of what there is is sporadic and incomplete and the rest is sourceless uhh, whats the word, when its just based off a persons experience being recounted without any like, reliable research or info. starts with A. im very tired lol. point is i wish there was more info out there cuz there really isnt a lot and im scared ppl are going to get hurt bc of that. this is also like, opening my eyes a lot about how uncertain the information i have in general about like, my body and the bodies of other trans women. bc im finding inconsistent info about things i thought were facts, like for example tucking has always been held up to be perfectly safe, but ive never been able to do it without it hurting, and apparently like?? the whole ‘hrt will turn you infertile’ thing might be inconsistent too? apparently it happens to some but not others. and the thing about like, ‘you WILL lose the function of your dick’ (with the implied ‘but thats a good thing’ that has always pissed me off) and my dick still works, it works differently and i cum and orgasm differently than i did before hrt but it still very much works, it just seems to follow different rules? and i still cum and i can still get hard, both of those things were supposed to stop happening but they didnt. it just like.. went through a process of being reprogrammed so it behaves differently now. cuz there was a period where i couldnt orgasm and i couldnt cum, but then i could again, and now my orgasms are totally different than they were when i was pre hrt. instead of it being like, sudden and intense and overwhelming, it builds up slowly to a peak, then gradually declines from there and leaves you feeling warm throughout and very very soft. and my hen leaks precum constantly when im aroused, and then when i cum it shoots a little bit out then like, leaks goo for the next half hour, not a little bit either. its a mess.

there was something else i wanted to say here but i forgot it. all in all im just. mad that the only ppl who care about the health of trans ppl are some doctors and trans ppl themselves. and that information about our bodies is inconsistent even between professionals. i cant be sure that my doctor actually knows how my body works and whats best for me. it makes it so much harder to trust doctors and feel safe when i see them. what a nightmare. i want to help ppl. i want to find and compile info about our bodies to keep us all safe but i can barely look after myself and i cant commit to doing that. i have to focus on myself. so all i can rly do is like, give advice and try to warn ppl of potential dangers and do what research i can. which is what we’re all doing. the danger is when personal biases conflict with caring for the safety of other ppl, which is the root of all the problems with trans medical stuff i think. whether its doctors enforcing their biases on trans ppl thru medical advice/medicine, or trans ppl themselves giving advice that is warped by their personal beliefs. it leads to misinformation and inconsistency and thats dangerous. that means people getting hurt. so i have to be careful when i give advice to be aware of my own personal biases. such as like, i hate tucking, but i cant tell ppl to just not tuck bc its not my body, i dont know if theres a way to tuck safely or not, so instead i have to tell ppl to be careful and to be aware of potential risks, and to listen to their body bc pain and discomfort are important indicators of harm being done. but im scared that will be lost in the tide of ‘tuck or you arent a real trans woman, you need tucking to pass, it cant hurt you’ that has been spread among us for a really long time.

i feel like this is like, tied to another big problem which is the like, necessity and obsession with passing. which are two very different things. necessity is like, passing to be safe, which i feel like has room to accept that tucking might not be totally safe and comes with certain risks, because it isnt about affirming self worth or identity, only about staying safe. then obsession, which might not be the best word but it will do for now, by that i mean ppl who feel they Have to pass at all costs, bc they think that if they dont they arent a real woman or something like that. they tie passing to self worth and identity, if they dont pass they are worthless or incomplete or like, inferior to cis women, and they will do anything to pass, with little to no regard for personal safety. they will do risky things like skipping meals or tucking unsafely bc they want to pass at any cost. but they spread their perspective on this through advice to other trans women, telling them they need to tuck and they need to wear makeup and they need to do voice training and get implants and srs and all manner of things or they are a trender. a faker. they put insecurities into other trans women and bully each other to propagate their personal biases and force other trans women to conform. most trans women pre hrt are extremely vulnerable and lost, which is when these obsessive trans women give them bad advice and twist them to their world view. that happened to me. i got sucked into that when i was trying to figure out my identity and needed validation. luckily i got out of that and i know better now. its really fucked. ive talked about like, versions of this idea before. that there are two kinds of trans ppl, those who love being trans and those who hate is and want to be cis. and i think as im getting a bit older and learning more and getting further thru my transition im starting to put together a bigger picture of the interplay between all of this stuff. like, the interactions between cis society and its expectations of trans ppl, how trans ppl deal with those expectations and how they deal with living and moving in a cis society thats hostile to trans ppl. this is all one big mess. and thats not even touching on the interactions between terfs, transmeds, and the various levels of trans communities both online and irl. its an absolute nightmare. and then as well there’s like, further interactions with like, nb and gender diverse ppl, gay vs straight trans ppl, intersex ppl, exclusionists, and the mess that the current lgbt+ community online is. i could write a book about this. im living in a nightmare. a massive roiling chaotic community thats fighting itself and the world around it and trying to survive and destroy the parts of itself that it thinks arent ‘valid’. which sounds like a metaphor for my experiences as a trans woman. god and theres more i keep forgetting. im so scatterbrained tonight. i havent had enough sleep to be trying to talk about something so complex as this. and im destroying my hands by typing this much. time to stop. i can sort all this out later. what a mess.

i hate to “complain about young people” on here because i know and fully recognize it isnt their faults really but also it is fucking annoying to deal with 

online and media literacy has gone way down. the concept of fully researching things and how you do that as well as how you think critically isn’t fully taught in schools much anymore. when i was younger the internet was not a brand new concept but it was still regularly taught to us how you go about using the internet to ask specific questions and get specific answers. as well on the internet in the 2000′s you couldn’t really get away with expecting answers to to be spoon fed to you. there just wasn’t enough people who really gave a shit to do that. if you asked on the wrong, obscure forums clearly showing you had no clue about what you were asking about you were just as likely to be laughed at and mocked for not knowing. this isnt me saying that made the early internet better because it wasn’t, it was annoying as shit to ask even the most basic of questions for answers you couldn’t be expected to know just by searching online, but it meant people had to have some level of self sufficiency. 

i am gonna use lolita fashion as this is the most recent and easy to explain example for me but i see it pop up on tiktok all the damn time followed by twitter. people say they want to get into the fashion. they are very obviously young. people tell them to look up rules and guides online as tiktok is a short form content web app and it is impossible to explain anything in depth. comments are super limited in character limit. videos can be at most 3 minutes long. to explain the different rules, parts of an outfit, where to buy things, and history of the fashion in these limitations is impossible esp bc tiktok has been nerfing links lately and just not letting you reply with them or mention them sometimes (i said “link in my bio” in a comment and it just. refused to send it)

upon being told this, people would get angry. for some reason they took “google it” as an insult, that they were not worth the time to explain it, and somehow this made us elitists deliberately obfuscating information we don’t want “the commoners” to know about. you could say this is unique to ppl exclusively on this subject but its not i see ppl do this all the time on different subjects. not everyone but enough times that i have to assume its a trend no matter how small. if information is not given quickly, compactly, and simply as possible directly to them it is a travesty and not worth knowing and everyone talking about it is a horrible person because the information is being “deliberately kept from them”. heaven help you if you say you just simply dont want to explain the information because dozens of people have already done it, all you have to do is spend a normal amount of time googling something. the assumption is no longer that if you want to get into something like a hobby or learn new facts you should research it, you should simply ask a question to a random person on the internet and either take what they say as fact or completely disregard it because you felt like it based arbitrarily on whether or not you like their answer. 

and i think this is a problem not only because its annoying to be personally to watch a handful of teenagers get mad when you tell them they should research things because frankly its just a minor inconvenience for me. but really because when you approach life like this, that one person’s statement should be treated as fact or not based solely on how it makes you feel means you’re opening yourself up to a lot of nasty shit. people on the internet lie. ive seen a rise in shitty cults because of this--because its so easy to say you’re a spiritual leader contacting this random 14 year old because they are special and important and use that power against them for money or other horrible shit. it makes it easy to spread misinformation online like random human traffickers are going to grab you in a target parking lot at 2 pm on a Thursday because someone left a smiley face sticker on your car when in actuality most trafficking victims were forced into it by partners or family. 

you need to be able to look up information and not just trust your gut that something is true or false based on how it makes you feel. you cannot just trust that cults are weird people in robes in the woods at night and human traffickers are people with ropes in a parking lot just hoping to pick someone off. you cant just blindly trust what authority figures say be it online or when its your teachers or parents. sometimes people lie. sometimes people make things up. sometimes they are just wrong. and being able to research something and find resources is something that is super important. the wealth of information online has only increased but online literacy has not. people more and more just trust that someone else has already done the hard work of looking everything up and parsing through the information and trusting they havent made mistakes based solely on how convincing they sound. and yknow maybe they are. i sure hope all your teachers did that. i sure hope your parents did that and are super informed. i sure hope you dont follow content creators that blatantly lie. but you can’t know until you check and learn to verify information. 

knowledge is power and don’t let anyone take that away from you. you don’t need to know everything, but you do need to learn how to fact check. 

ffa anon here. this is gonna be a few asks, and some might be some rants. you are totally allowed to skip those, but I need to air some thoughts. so, the last two days i played some ovw. not ffa though, but junkenstein endless mode and qp. in junkenstein i always played hanzo. and i think i got like 60% of the tires that came? in one game i just kept taking them so my friends were like "eh, hanzo takes it" xD did otherwise pretty good! of course, didnt always get them and sometimes someone else

now for the rants: today, i met two salty(?) persons. one when i played mercy and one when i played hanzo. when i was mercy, i didnt do very good in the beginning and someone just wrote that i was pathetic. i just sent them an affirmitive and continued playing. once tried to rez this person in front of a bastion i saw too late so got killed. and they just wrote "again". so i just stopped seriously heal them bc i was tired of their attitude. it wasnt easy to heal bc everyone was scattered

as hanzo, i and a widow played. our pharah kept saying to us that we needed to kill the soldier. like yeah, but there are many others that are in the way dude. and they kept saying that we should go to ffa and train there and not in qp. but like, qp is not comp?? you are allowed to train here too? and besides, its so vastly different playstyles that it might not always transfer to the other. said so and they said, yeah, but go there and train your aim. ignored them after that. as said, did ok

not looking forward for this reward system they are planning to implant for "nice" and "bad" teammates. its stuff like that that makes my anxeity rise a little and it wont be as fun play anymore if ppl rate me as a bad player bc i have an off day with a character or just it doesnt go well. or if i dont do as well as they think i should be to be allowed to be that character. just.... let me enjoy playing this character even if im not that good at them. im still doing good and at least i have fun

and regarding that i should go to ffa and "train on my aim there", ive played 25 hours ffa. and 9 hours in qp, so shut up. anyway, lets end on some funnier notes. on rialto, enemy winston jumped into the water and got followed by two being booped down by our pharah and i pulling one down my my pull orb as i was orisa xD sort of befriended team doomfist too. he said "go and sit down", i confirmed and started meditate. he said thanks and started danicing xD

Nice job on Junkenstein! That’s grade A work right there!

Feh, salty people. I am one of those people who will call out who needs to be killed and get frustrated if no one listens--but actually airing those frustrations is a dick move. I don’t know how the battlefield looks from the my teammembers’ POVs, so it’s kinda pointless to get mad at them!

And it’s entirely pointless when one remembers it’s just a game, LOOOL!!!

I do wonder about that guy whinging about not playing in qp, though--did he think he was building up some kind of rank??? Because if he did, he may be misinformed. So he may be salty, but he’s also literally running in circle building up exactly nothing--maybe that will help you feel better. :3c

I hope the ranking system of good and bad players looks at trends rather than spikes--everyone has good and bad days, and sometimes people let other people play on their accounts and sometimes there are tech issues and so on and so forth, so I hope the algorithm takes that all into account before designating someone as “bad” or “good”.

But on another level, it would be somewhat of a relief for me to be categorized as a bad player, because I am, yet they keep putting me in matches against much better players. Put me in the terrible players camp where I can panic and flail all I want, LOOOOL! XDDD

But you hit the nail on the head when you say it should be fun above all. Just let people have fun with the game, for crying out loud, that’s why it’s a game in the first place.

But that enemy Winston made me laugh because I happened to get a kinda similar highlight in MH last week that I never uploaded! Hope you like it, and keep your chin up, FFA Anon!

YOOO @ THAT "PSYCHOLOGIST" LABELING OIKAWA AS A NARCISSIST... I WAS SEETHING WHEN I WATCHED THAT LMAO I GET WORKED UP EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT.. i wanted to fukikng fight... also many of the comments were like "wow so true and insightful" "he's a narcissistic trash but we all love him" SRROUSLY????? im seething again rn just thinking about how new hq fans or ppl who nvr gave oikawa much thought will watch that vid and think "oh so this is what oikawa's like" and actually believe that bullshit

I was absolutely livid. I was so so so pissed and salty for a good while. and i kept watching in hopes to make any sense of it and NO it just got me even more pissed off. i dont even think this is a matter of opinion, that is just a terrible, misinformed, “diagnose” it felt like they didn’t even watch the show.. or bother to really break down oikawa’s character to understand him. ///i wanteD TO RIOT LMAO/

THE COMMENTS GOT ME EVEN MORE PISSED OFF??!! I hate that. I WAS SO UPSET THAT EVERYONE JUST ACCEPTED THAT TERRIBLE “ANALYSIS” like really was i and like 5 people the only ones who even watched this show??

characters like oikawa are too difficult to understand for certain people who just see what’s on the surface. AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD BECAUSE HE IS A FAV BOY OF MINE it sucks to see that bullshit lmao

POINT BLANK OIKAWA IS NOT A NARCISSIST THE END

my thoughts on a certain well known yt vlogger who shall remain nameless i was never really a fan of them and i certainly wont be now. what ppl need to understand is...regardless of w/e background you come from...w/e walk of life ...the word is still hurtful. its always been a bad word and it wasnt created to make others feel good. i will NOT accept someone "slipping up" when it comes to name calling simply because theyre not furthering their cause. i didnt when i found out at a young age what the word actually meant until shortly after i did my research...and i wont now. if thats how you want to address ppl then you can take your shit and get the fuck off of yt. what kind of example are you setting for your following? ppl look at you as a leader. cuz when you treat ppl like shit its a reflection of self. ik the fucking game. so...w/ that being said...since you "slipped up" as a result of that youre doing to get a whole slew of ppl slamming that unsubscribe button and youre going to be labeled something you might not think you deserve but...tough shit. and this isnt the 1st time theyve gotten scrunity for doing something offensive. so...this shouldnt come as a surprise to anyone. so the moral of the story is...you cant just go and tell ppl that you “accidentally” say something that has all the sting in the world. if you said it then you said it. you dont have to lie. own up to your mistake and hold yourself accountable for your actions. because there are millions of ppl who actually know what it means and the history behind it. it doesnt matter if youre mad cuz if it comes to your lips its because its a part of you. Your anger is stronger than your fear of commiting horrible acts, which makes you just that. so im NOT going to be 1 of those sheep who are gonna be like "we should give dude a pass" cuz thats not what it should be about cuz what they did was ignorant and real stupid and sounds like something a miseducated and misinformed individual would do. im done. my clip is empty.