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hearts401 · 3 months

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Why do you think Helluva Boss is better, in terms of writing?

OOOH i have a LOT to say about this.

I think it's a lot less rushed. it FEELS a lot less rushed. And thats not saying its all perfect, it went pretty fast too, but not as fast as hazbin.

For example, hazbin had this big deadline and they had to fit in angels arc, the carmilla/vaggie situation, the heaven stuff, AND charlies shit with her dad. So despite it being a comedy, they had to stuff a LOT of things together, which means theres less chance for filler which means it gets rushed. (bc honestly, it feels less like a comedy and more like an edgy teen humor show BECAUSE they're stuffing the comedy in while rushing to get all the important lore bits in)

so helluva boss feels more like a comedy. they have serious moments, but it leaves space for jokes and humor that dont feel out of place (for example, in the hh finale they kept making jokes that rlly didnt fit? like charlie profusely apologizing to angels who are slaughtering her people? or when pentious died and it was a joke but we were supposed to take it seriously???)

helluva boss has episodes with less emotional baggage in them, like the pilot, murder family, spring broken, and CHERUB, and the harvest moon festival, all in season one. and while they do HAVE emotional moments, theyre not super heavy. then you have episodes that feel like a mix, like truth seekers and loo loo land. and then you have heavy episodes like ozzie's and queen bee. its much more balanced (and im focusing on s1 of hb bc its unfair to pit a two season show against a one season show.)

also also also, and this is smth i complain about a lot, Hazbin Hotel is OBSESSED with making their characters as likeable as possible. unfortunately this falls on characters who DONT DESERVE IT. Like angel dust. When he harassed husk, it was supposed to be humor and funny and whatever, but when husk snapped at him, he was the bad guy suddenly. and angel still never apologized. and im not saying hb doesnt have that issue (ESPECIALLY with stolas) but i think its handled better.

blitzo is a good example. i have complaints about the circus situation, but in the end hes still not a good guy, excuse or not. he's rude, he's nosy, he's dismissive. he hunts his sister down despite her making it very clear she doesnt wanna see him. and he brushes off stolas and even uses him under the guise of a sweet date. in general, blitzo is just waaay better handled than angel dust is.

i also like the villains more? theyre not made out to be a joke as much as the villians in hazbin (per my earlier statement about all the humor being stuffed in) crimson is made to be genuinely intimidating, striker, while mocked a lot, is still a very serious villain, mammon is a big joke on purpose, and it makes sense! and then other antagonists (verosika, one and two, ect) are made out to be funny because theyre NOT big villains, they're just bitches who have beef with imp. the worst villain in hb is, of course, the one woman, stella. but thats a conversation for another ask.

meanwhile the hazbin villains are sooo dumbed down. our most serious villain was lute. adam was a huge joke and relatively annoying at times? like most of what he did was watered down by bad jokes (like killing pentious??? ppl seem to forget adam beat alastor without even tearing his clothes and its because everytime hes on screen theres a terrible joke about to be made) and the vees are just??? eh??? i dont have a TON of complaints about velvette aside from how little she actually did to the point where she hardly feels like a villain? shes moreso just annoying. and then vox hypnotizes people and hes like. evil ceo type shit but thats overshadowed by his crazy ass beef with alastor because again, he didnt do much else. and then val had that stupid scene with vox that i hate so so so so much. hes made out to be funny when he SHOULDNT BE!!! They dont take val's character seriously its weird. ick. and also we didnt have many villains to even go off of? helluva boss gave us lots of characters to work with in season one, and all of them are unique in some way, and had time to shine and will have more time to shine later because the story isnt rushing. hazbin INSISTED on concluding this arc in one season when it really shouldn't have. they didnt have the time to do it, and they tried anyway. helluva boss is better because they gave it TIME. striker is introduced in season one and we KNOW he'll come back because he got away! and he does! and hes great because they gave him TIME to be there and be gone and be there and be gone.

and now he's our most recurring villain. and i think hes awesome. crimson didnt actually have a lot of time to vanish and come back, but hes also new so its a bit different. and he had two episodes in between showing up and disappearing, and the second one had more focus on striker anyways.

i think that while hazbin is a 4/10 for me (5 if im being generous), helluva boss is a 6 or 7/10. the worst part about the helluva boss writing is stolas's family and how the women are written tbh.

tldr: helluva boss is better paced and the characters are better, and hazbin hotel is too rushed and forces these characters onto you

#tzu rambles #tzu asks #tzu rants #hazbin hotel criticism

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suffarustuffaru · 10 months

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I love your otto brainrot. He's favorite person to gush about in this series. I also love your analysis about one of the latest chapters and regarding Otto! ust, chef's kiss.

Anyhow, I would also like to add a crack theory about why otto never talked about his dp allowing him to talk to infants too. In this moment, it very much be because, as you said, he wants Spica to be eliminated. But! We're thinking small here. My question morphs into a more general perspective; why would Otto, and tappei to an extent, keep such information about his dp under wraps for this long, way before these Spica shenanigans? And I feel like the author may want to expand on that regard. Because as far as the rest of the crew knows (and as far as I remember), they know he can only talk to animals. But that chapter states he can talk to any living being (?), which I think may hint to it being a bigger fucking deal than we may realize. Like outside the Louis development, as well as Otto's frustration development, this power in of itself can cause a ripple of what Otto's capabilities are, and to not underestimate it.

So, now I wonder, would tappei utilize this tidbit for more development about Otto's power? What do you think?

aa thank you for liking my otto stuff!! i adore him a lot and arc 8 has me even more fixated on him bc his development is so Fascinating.... and also my fictional character type has always been the weird fucked up ones with terrible morals HAH.

OK ALSO LIKE i love your crack theory to bits. i think like the idea of his capabilities being A Little More Massive than they already are hasnt really occurred to me if only bc 1. i have like one braincell at a time and 2. ottos unhinged anger and various ugly habits (ie: doing things behind his friends backs HAH) were smth i was distracted by (positive) bc its so fascinating and now Finally everyone reading rezero knows hes crazy For Sure and 3. i think like. idk ive always kind of thought that his power is like super crazy like once you think about it. like iirc theres the canonical fact that other people in the fantasy world whove had ottos dp have gone like insane from it, so hes Basically the outlier here. and also hes insane anyway but his dp absolutely has partly to do with it. not only bc it like affects so much of his life with the constant overstimulation he experienced for a big chunk of his childhood along with the other effects it had with how he was behind his peers for a while and it made him socially awkward and anxious - but also like.

animals Are insane. a lot. genuinely. and then you have a power that allows you to understand them and hear their voices all the time. (more under read more bc its Long.)

theres so many fucked up animal facts out there HAH so i suppose that could just take like a couple google searches (god.... if oceans were in the fantasy world otto might go a little insane with all those sea creatures if he ever came close...) but i always feel like ottos learned at least a bit of his ruthlessness from that. and hes Definitely seen and heard shit (dont forget stuff like livestock ahah T^TT or bug infestations or something aljsdfls or the fact that otto would probably be seeing animal friends eat other animal friends or before he even knew he had his dp he could be eating some cattle he had a convo with like twenty minutes ago and ALSO garf and fred have their meat pie recipe that they adore and its like. that meat came from an animal and otto has most likely seen them make their meat pie before). but like nature is nature. its not always. Nice. survival of the fittest and things just die sometimes (ottos made various animal friends throughout his life and Many animals have smaller lifespans than him as well + some, such as bugs, are more fragile than him) and animals take actions according to their Nature (even if its. Bad, by human moral standards.) and all that - so i think the double whammy of ottos dp and him taking on merchant ideals is very much partly why hes so insane fr HAH.

I WENT A LITTLE OFF TOPIC BUT no yeah i agree. and i just think his dp has always been such a huge factor in what makes him so dangerous - its not only helped mold him into who he is as a person (especially when you remember that the rest of his family are Normal People and he Very Much Is Not Normal) but also like you said. his dp makes him extremely dangerous especially with the new information that he understands babies. iirc otto didnt Necessarily keep that bit of info under wraps - at least not before he met the emilia camp, bc the text said something about how hed take on side jobs where he babysat infants and hed be good at it bc he can understand the intent behind their wordless "words". and i definitely think otto - and tappei - havent really said anything on his ability to talk to infants before this bc it just hasnt come up in much relevant context until now. BUT I ALSO THINK YOU HAVE A POINT bc this does open like. a bit of a can of worms. theres these 2019 tappei qnas where he talks a bit about otto understanding "intent" -

Q: Is Otto's Blessing of the Spirit of Words limited to sounds that the speaker understands? Can he translate something Subaru wrote down in Japanese, or something that someone reads out loud phonetically without understanding it's meaning?

A: He can't. It's a blessing that conveys the intent of the other person's words, so if you said something like "Honbaradaratodetta", it wouldn't mean anything. It's just that, if Subaru had been saying "Honbaradaratodetta" for years to mean "What's for dinner?", it would convey that.

Q: About the "Blessing of the Spirit of Words" that Otto has, in cases where the same word can contain different meanings, can he discern the difference? (The English word 'servant' and a servant from Fate, etc.)

A: It's not the letters, but the speaker's intent that he picks up, so he could tell the difference.

but no yeah like........ ottos dp is specifically about Animals and well. humans and demihumans ARE animals. so it makes sense that it carries into humans and demihumans a bit so the whole catching someones intent thing is super fascinating and i feel like he could Definitely utilize it for more of his schemes?? esp when you combine that with the usual ways he uses his dp with animals - his power is Perfect for spying on others and gathering info in general. from my understanding of his power though, animals have to agree to help him, but given he can communicate with them and hes. well hes a good talker and also a bit of a manipulative bitch (affectionate) so like getting animals to help him doesnt seem like too much of an issue usually for him. so no but yeah his power is like. Off the Charts. and now we got big confirmation in the main story that he can UNDERSTAND PEOPLES INTENT BEHIND THEIR WORDS....? no yeah i think tappei will at least utilize it for the louis-spica plot things (ie otto wants her dead so hes just not gonna say anything about how he knows her true intent isnt to actually hurt anyone).

but i feel like otto could possibly use it for plans... or accidentally catch tidbits of info he shouldnt. im not entirely sure how, but. well. roswaal still hasnt delivered on his promise to kill everyone if even one person subaru cares about dies and Now roswaal knows that 1. otto plans to continue opposing subaru and emilia and keep pulling strings and 2. subaru wants louis to stay alive because he cares about her. it seems like massive emilia camp inner conflict is bound to happen at some point hah... the current situation is a ticking time bomb T^T and thats ON TOP of otto still working on restoring the book of wisdom... it all makes me wonder if otto will overhear a convo he shouldnt and catch the true underlying intent to otherwise innocent dialogue. or something like that.... or if louis's intent fluctuates in some way which otto will be Very aware of. if that happens. or if someone else somehow figures out ottos hiding the fact that he knows louis is innocent via his dp alsdjflsjdf. or maybe roswaal hints at his genocide plan and otto figures out the intent???? everyone is at a stalemate atm fr and im fascinated to see what comes next.

though. ok given otto went insane hearing the white whale..... well you could just fling mabeasts at him and maybe he'll shut up lajsdlfj bc using his dp (especially when overusing it gives him nosebleeds and headaches and pain and etc etc) against him is a Viable strategy to stop him among many others but like. the problem with otto is that hes persistent and Will hold a grudge against you if you wrong him. like i really do feel like he will hunt you down if you do which is the big Thing with otto. T^T hes unpredictable!!! especially now with arc 8 where hes been dragged through all these dangerous situations he did not sign up for and he just wants him and his friends to be safe but said friends want to save a whole country and NOW a sin archbishop alsdjflsjd.

like i really feel that hes so tired of things happening throughout his life out of control (remember his bad luck T^T and the way his dp used to fuck him over in his childhood? yeah T^T) that hes been trying to exert more and more control over his camp. bc like. vincent asking the emilia camp for help was nudged into that direction by otto. ottos also stepped a bit out of line by being hostile to julius and anastasia bc. otto that shit was unncessary aljsdlfjd theyre your camps allies!!!! and now ottos letting his camp be sus of louis by keeping quiet about her true intent. like otto is straight up like. hes kind of possessive of his camp isnt he? bc hes so fixated on making things go the way he wants (not that he wanted to help vollachia, but he wanted to help subaru and emilia which is why he pushed things in that direction, and now he wants to kill louis). it all makes me wonder if he'll ever have to use his dp against his camp given hes. kind of already doing that by lying to them - though itd probably be difficult to use his dp more actively against them if only bc they all already know what his dp is. theres no element of surprise there, but i think with the right circumstances he could possibly use it to figure out Something at least. bc like while he Does feel guilty, there is next to nothing stopping him from doing more shit on top of the shit hes been doing so far in arc 8 HAH. his moral compass is just literally broken and pointing straight down to hell. that mixed with his stubbornness and intellect and anger is like. well anyone going against otto is pretty fucked.

like. what is stopping him from sending a little bug to spy on subaru at all times. probably the fact that subaru and co. have a high chance of maybe noticing it and noticing that ottos keeping. too close of an eye on them. which would stop otto and his new declared "i walk in darkness" goal but all of this keeps making me wonder what lines otto WONT cross. and how far hes willing to go to do what he thinks is necessary to save his camp. and also what the consequences of his decisions will be.

but also like............................................... ok time for a crack theory of my own are you ready. anyway. can you imagine if ottos dp extended into fucking mind reading or something............ HAH.

#otto suwen #rezero #ask #this is a long response and it went a tiny bit off topic at a few points but i hope this made sense aljdslfjs #i dont have like. hyper specific predictions. but the detail that otto understands infants... and intent behind words in general... def #seems like a very specific writing choice fr. like tappei couldve simply said that ottos dp only extends to Animals animals. and not #humanoids. and i know tappei did the whole understands infants thing for the louis spica plot but like you im also wondering if he'll #utilize this part of ottos power more!!!#theres definitely a potential there. for sure.#arc 8 spoilers #but no yeah like ive been thinking about how ottos dp affects his psychology fr. like its not really talked about much past the overstimula #ion which makes sense bc thats affected SO MUCH of his life... but i also think that the. you know. understanding every animal ever is you #know kind of fucked up. once you think about it.#he got the ultimate cocktail of animal morality + merchant ideals and now hes got the moral compass of a chocolate eclair. except he ate th #chocolate eclair and then went welp guess my bffs new daughter figure kind of has to die haha :/#like. otto had to have understood death from a young age bc of his dp right?? like can you imagine. you see a bug crash too hard into somet #hing and you hear it die. you are like five. oh my god fr.

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blookmallow · 7 months

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reviewing spirit animatronics for 2023

i almost forgot again. but here we are

apparently the website doesnt display animatronics that are sold out so im trying to dig for them... this isnt a complete list im doin my best

anyway lets GOooooooo

Gourdo

im gonna start with my favorite look at this silly little guy. something about this design is just incredibly endearing to me and the stringy guts look pretty good in motion too. hes cute and i like him. his description says he was a guy who kept scaring everybody all the time and one day he scared an old lady who turned out to be a witch so she turned him into a pumpkin. and now hes stuck like this bc he could not behave himself. i love gourdo i want him 10/10

Eternal Rest

its a tombstone. theres a sad crying face and it turns into a skull face and screams at you. thats... thats it. it looks fine but its just really basic, this is doing nothing for me

3/10

Poor George

this guy was at my local store for a while. hes pretty fun, he flips around and his face changes. i like his funky stripes. makeup design looks extremely art the clown which is just making me wish they had him instead

its at least an attempt at a unique design. but according to his description, the story here is he was just a nice regular clown who had a terrible accident but somehow survived. you can see his bloody torso when he turns. this isn't a zombie clown monster, this is a man who desperately needs medical assistance

also no explanation for why he has two faces. he doesn't appear to be intentionally meant to be conjoined twins or something so if hes supposed to just be a regular guy im not sure whats going on there

5/10

they also came out with another killer klowns animatronic this year too, hes BIG but i dont have much to say about that one other than it looks good glad to see the klown rep increasing

i guess ill also mention here that they have a mars attacks alien figure now too, which doesn't really do much, it just moves its head a little but the lighting is cool and the design looks really good and seeing it inspired me to go watch the movie, so. shrugs. i like him

Heckles the Clown

here we have i think the first Sad Clown spirit animatronic? i cant think of any others ive seen. he kind of has creepy uncle energy but isn't really scary. hes just sad. he is a pathetic shell of a man weakly trying to sell his balloons and i just kind of feel bad for him. i did not notice in the store that his balloon actually has a light-up face in it which is cool. apparently according to his description hes actually using poison gas in his balloons which is a neat idea but is extremely unclear from the animatronic itself, i never would've known that if i hadn't read the description, so,

his face sculpt looks pretty good though. hes a pretty well designed figure i just think his whole deal is unclear and just makes me feel bad for him. help this man

6/10

Stilts

i do love a scary clown but all of these are starting to look pretty much the same to me. the colors are visually striking (i like the use of the blue accents especially) and i like the bloody bowling pins but at this point it's just kinda like, yep, that's another tall spooky clown. great for all your tall spooky clown needs but its not really that memorable. 4/10

Death Stalker

THIS thing however, looks sick as FUCK and i really want to see it in person. i dont know what the fuck that is. i love it. it breathes smoke and has way too many teeth. the description offhand mentions it lives behind an abandoned doll factory for no apparent reason. i love this thing 11/10

i think it might be built from the same body structure as their krampus figure that i also really liked

The Black Heart

ok i dont know about anyone else but i just find this one extremely confusing all around

he gives off protective dom skeleton boyfriend vibes. in the store i saw this and figured the woman was his victim and hes showing us his kill to threaten us, but it also looks like he's protecting her, so i didn't really get what was going on. the description says she tried to do some weird ritual ive never heard of where you lay in a grave and your true love will arrive to kiss you and wake you up snow white style at midnight, but instead she ended up with this guy as her "master" but it also refers to him as her "partner"

"the fuck did you just say about my wife"

so i guess they have some kind of bdsm relationship going on. which, y'know, if she's into that, id say good for her, but she doesn't move at all, she appears to be dead or unconscious. she also looks like she's emerging from his waist or something bc like, i guess they made her skirt the same color to hide that she's there until he reveals her, but i didnt even realize she had a lower body at all,

anyway the design is really confusing to look at and i don't really understand what their whole deal is. the faces look really good though. 5/10

Leatherface

leatherface in the HOUSE!!! i dont really have a lot to say here other than i think he looks great and i want you all to see him. 7/10

Darling Dolly

i fucking love this thing look at that. salad fingers doll monstrosity what the fuck is going on here. there was one in our store very briefly but it wasn't working and disappeared pretty quickly which just made it even weirder. this has a fantastic "what the FUCK IS THAT" factor and i just wish it had better functionality bc i was really excited to find out what it does and it turns out it pretty much just screams at you. i feel like a slower, creeping movement with spidery fingers and whispering sounds would have been more effective. its definitely scary though. i want more wild designs like this i love this thing

the backstory is... a little girl dug up a cursed doll in the yard and her mother tried to bury it back but got struck by lightning and became nightmareishly fused together with the evil doll which just. doesn't make sense to me i feel like trying to create an explanation for this figure is actively a detriment to it i like it better just as a Horrible Inexplicable Demon

9/10 could have been executed better but great design

The Cauldroness

pretty much just your standard witch. i like the way she's posed, this figure is more interesting to look at than a lot of the standing ones. the movement in her hands looks pretty good. i like her face. she also looks like salad fingers. maybe im just seeing it bc im trying so so hard to manifest him into existence even though i know they'll never make one sfjkg

anyway this is simple but i think it works well, 5/10

Dagger Mike

look at this ridiculous little gremlin. his name's dagger mike. hes got knives. his torso makes no sense. i love you dagger mike 6/10 hes not good but he makes me laugh and i like him

i do like the vintage clown look here though. i just think his body looks stupid and his existence is very funny to me in a way i cant articulate

Floating Spirit

its a ghost. it goes ooooo. 10/10

#spirit halloween #halloween #spirit halloween 2023

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beesmygod · 7 months

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What is your ranking of the 'souls' fromsoft games you've played and why? I SUSPECT bludbornt takes the number 1 slot for reasons.

this is actually really really hard because while i love the bloodborne story, some of the structural and pacing issues can result in an awful gameplay experience. like if its your first time playing the game the last boss you're going to fight is mergo's wet nurse which is a huge wet fart of a final boss with a dogshit soundtrack. some of the boss fights are rank as well. like laurence is fucking awful. rom is a SLOGGGGGGG i dread having to fight rom every time bc its just a test of my patience instead of a skill check. defiled watchdog and amygdala are terrible. not fun. very bad. great dlc tho

it ties with dark souls 1 which i dearly, dearly love so much i could play it forever except once you play literally any other fromsoft game it is so hard to go back to. the quality of life additions in later games like "being able to fast travel without needing to complete half the game" and "being able to move at a reasonable pace instead of plodding around like the gravity on planet dark souls is stronger than earth" are completely absent. is...almost a little too mean. some of those boss runs are real rough. also great dlc. i love broken pyromancy so much. wait i just remembered centipede demon i hate that fight. fuck him. and fuck his ketchup kids

ds3 is a close second bc its ds1 but they gave it a bunch of quality of life fixes that make it much less frustrating to play. however, the pay off is that it has one terrible dlc and one thats just ok. i hate the final boss of the base game i think it sucks. nearly everyone disagrees with me so dont listen to me. but i think it's a stinker lol. the midir fight is grueling, unfun. ive done it and it was awful. i think there are too many "puzzle" bosses (wolnir, yhorm, ancient wyvern) that feel like they were imported from a zelda game. i do not like those at all. dont waste my time from! im here to kill monsters by the skin of my teeth!!! not play donkey kong!!!

i took a long time to warm up to sekiro and really disliked it until it "clicked" and then it became mind-blowing. i really hope they make more like this with this fighting system. maybe even a sekiro 2 (tomoe story PLEAAASSEEEE FROM. it was teased so hard...). it has an incredible plot, world, means of delivering its story, heart pounding battles, and the single best fromsoft final boss fight ever. bar none. sword saint isshin is an unbelievable experience.

but...fromsoft what the fuck am i supposed to do with all this currency ive amassed lol. they forgot to give me things to buy. you dont have this problem in souls games because you use them to level up, but in sekiro you have to fucking git gud. there's no level system and defense bonuses are tied to defeating bosses. if you can't defeat a boss you are absolutely fucked and have to throw yourself against the wall over and over, which can truly be a terrible grind.

some of the boss fights are h o r r i b l e. most fromsoft games have me chasing down minibosses to beat for fun but the headless are literally dreadful. i just skip them altogether now because if it wasnt enough that they cast a "remove fun" AOE spell, but the items they drop are worthless. i will never use these lol. what the fuck from. the second fight with the ape is stupid. im never going to fight the demon of hatred sorry lol. you can't put a fucking bloodborne beast in a game almost entirely revolving around human enemies.

never finished ds2

#soulsborne

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empty-blog-for-lurking · 9 months

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Okay, so remember that concept with allura having amnesia? Ive been thinking about that. a lot. and how it related to kuron specifically-

Beacuse there are PARALELLS here. They both have to deal with a legacy left by a past version of them and they both irreversibly change as people. Kuron resents Shiro and what he represents, and allura struggles with living up to the mysticisied and glorified hero everyone tells her shes supposed to be. and its like- if they talked about it like NORMAL PEOPLE, if Kuron had ANY emotional intelligence left, they would see that they have a lot in common actually!!

BUT. at the same time. I dont think its really possible for them to do that, at least right now, beacuse a huge fuckin part of kurons trauma was caused by allura fucking KILLING HIM, and hes understandably pissed about it. and i think that allura not remembering anything would only make him even more upset, bc everyone besides him mourned and idolisied her, and constantly hearing how great and noble the person who killed you was must suck ass, and then she COMES BACK, and maybe Kuron wants to yell at her and make her feel guilty for what she did and he wants to look her in the face and tell her exactly what he thinks about her- but he CANT. beacuse she killed him, took his body from him, and she DOESNT REMEMBER.

i dont really know where i'm going with this, but. yeah. this whole situation propably sucks ass for both of them(maybe theyll never reconsile. Maybe they wont end up as friends. And that's okay!! its cool to think about tho)

Bestie, my friend, my dude, my guy, mere yaar, yOU HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE SPOT!!!!

So much of post s8 au is people who could have understood one another but dont because of the trauma everyone has, and Allura and Kuron are prime examples of it.

Kuron is not happy with her at all and all this 'hero worship' around her just further exacerbates it cause she used his body to bring back Shiro. Didnt even care that they were friends, didnt even care that he was a person, didnt even care that he may have been still alive, just used his body to bring Shiro back. And he hates her for it and hates people treating her like a hero and would have let her know that she's the worst but what is the point of that? She isnt here is she? She's dead and gone and they couldnt even bring back a body to bury because nothing of her left. So really what is the point of hating a dead woman? He avoids anything and every thing to do with her, and just tries very hard not to think about her, no bad vibes here sir we are just chillin hahahaha 😎😎😎😎😎

.......and then she comes back! And oh boy. Kuron is not having a good time at all. He is still very much avoiding her. If she's in the room, he's leaving the room and if he cant than being extremely snide and just glaring at her. Like he truly does want to explode on her and many times came close as well, but than he just walks out and screams in a pillow.

Allura has no fucking clue what to do with him. She doesnt even know him, doesnt know what his problem is, and thinks he's annoying. Really annoying and rude and she knows when she isnt wanted. Like she has met some genuinely terrible people on her journey throughout multiverse and Kuron is definately much better than them but also?? He's a fucking cunt. Everyone else is on the edge around him but no one wants to talk about it. And fine! Whatever! It's not like she's curious about what the fuck is up with this guy, or why he's the only one who doesnt look at her and is either about to cry or look at her like she personally put stars in the sky. She has too many problems and doesnt have the time for some dude's hostility.

But like once she knows about the whole mind replacing thing? Either because she was told or because she remembered bits and pieces. She's going to feel so guilty about it! Like crushing guilt. She'll try to make it up to him but given that he doesnt want to talk to her and even if he did she is convinced he probably hates her and doesnt want to see hom so she just. Going down the guilt spiral. Along with everything else

And yeah I think Kuron can never forgive Allura just like how he can never forgive Shiro. But i also think they'll come to an understanding and realize that they are similar and learn how to live with their pasts without it consuming them.

#I may change a few things when i get better ideas but for now #it is so funny to me no one is talking with each other #empty answers #post s8 au #Honestly this concept is just very fun to me in this au i had an idea of a drawing based around this for a while now #(warning gore in tags ahead)#It was Lance Allura Kuron with their past dead selves.#Kuron was holding his bleeding chained past self protectively ready to attack.#Allura was sitting behind her statue in its shadow and holding wilting juniberry flowers #Lance had his back turned towards the viewer standing infront of three graves 2 of them dugged open #He had shovel in one hand and cut off head of his younger self in other #<=gore over #Thanks for asking!!!!!

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okamiwind · 1 month

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hm here's an update on how i've been doing

i went on a band trip last week that took a lot out of me emotionally, but it was fun also? sometimes life is weird like that. like maybe you had something annoying happen to you but then that annoyance leads to a bitch session that leaves you closer to someone else, maybe in a way that you wouldn't have known before. so idk. good and bad. you're just supposed to have both, i guess.

as i've been away, i haven't been writing much besides paradisium. paradisium, despite only requiring 500 words a day, sometimes feels like a real slog. i dont think i had a super clear idea of the middle of this story, so trying to figure it out is a challenge.

now that i'm thinking about it, a lot of my stories start that way? i have a very clear beginning point, a very clear end point, and the middle is like jeremy bearimy. like how do you unravel a knot that was tied in the fabric of time? you cant, of course. you just try and hack away at it with a butter knife

summer pretty much started for me last week as i don't follow the calendar dates for seasons. seasons should be entirely Vibes based. so anyway summer started last week and i can't wait for it to be over. counting down the days pretty much.

i'm not really looking forward to my birthday, but it will be pretty cool to hopefully be finished paradisium by then. lets all put our hands together in prayer.

oh yeah. i was gonna say... today i started writing iatbye again after an extended absence and tiana happened to catch me with a call in the middle of it (usually i write in blocks of 1k, so i think of .5 as my halfway point). as i was talking to her i was like man, this is a terrible time to talk to me because all my thoughts are completely absurd and strange and weird, like i told her that the horse is a metaphor and she's like yeah of course it is and then i explained the metaphor at her for 5 minutes and then the next 5 minutes i told her about my anxieties about the next two chapters for iatbye and why that's probably contributed to my lack of energy to write it

yeah chapter 12 is like, the climax of this part. the way that chapter 17 and 25 were those big emotional moments for part one, chapter 12 will be the emotional centerpiece of part two. so it's like. you know, i'm sure it will be fine, and truthfully it doesn't matter if it sucks bc im not being graded and its just for fun, whatever whatever, but at the same time, i have these Standards TM for myself that i almost certainly can't live up to. so its worrisome. you can write things a thousand different ways, and i have to try to write it the Right way. so i worry over it.

sidlink is still on the backburner. i know in some way or another what i wanna do with that fic but its just too wide open right now for me. i need to finish an iatbye chapter to like. get back into my groove. get some confidence back or something.

so idk. that's how i am now mostly. i mostly exist in a state of depressed (and i mean that in the squashed sort of depressed way, not big sad kind of depressed way) anxiety. like most of the time i can deal with it but then ill get hit with this wave that just like waterboards me lmao

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spacedlexi · 1 year

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hbo tlou spoilers (and the game too) just rambling to myself bc i gotta get these thoughts out of my head

feeling.. conflicted about that episode still. wasnt gonna say anything but im a little bit nervous about how joel and ellie are being handled at this point just like overall

ellie to a lesser extent i just feel like shes a little.. one note almost (they gave her the joke book and she had some nice moments with sam at least). theyre just playing so hard into the spitfire side of her but game ellie was way sweeter and kinder than i think people remember? when i started my re-playthrough even i forgot how like.. chill she was honestly. a lot of her anger was reactionary/in defense and not always just immediately antagonistic. hbo ellie needs more softness to her its starting to annoy me a bit how just outright hostile she is to literally everyone

but in joels case.. the changes they made this episode honestly i feel were detrimental to his character development. they make it seem like joel asking tommy to take ellie is more about the fact that hes aging and hes afraid hes going to get ellie killed, so he needs tommy to take her because he has a greater chance of making it back. and they side step a bit the selfishness of joels request. when in the game it was SOLEY about joels selfishness and how he could tell he was starting to feel protective of/close to ellie and wanted to stop that shit immediately by passing her off to tommy so he could just wash his hands of the whole thing (which would also put tommy at risk and maria chews him out for it (which i wouldve liked to have seen in the show but alas...)). and the argument he and ellie get into (after she runs away!!) is supposed to be the culmination of those feelings and how hes pushing her away and hes afraid of being a dad again (im NOT your dad. and we are going our separate ways). but ultimately chooses to stay with ellie and that choice is SO IMPORTANT!! and now in the show its like... ok so... now youre Not afraid of.. getting her killed? because you STILL have a bad ear and ptsd? (that he wouldve had for a while anyway so honestly its a little funny theyre playing it up so hard all of a sudden him clutching at his chest all the time is just kinda funny to me again where is the subtlety i dont see it). and like with this change it makes their argument (and their reconciliation) less powerful honestly to me at least. that argument they have is seared into my brain its still one of my favorite scenes but i just wasnt feeling it as much with this different set up of events (and also imo the game still has the better actor performances PLEASE watch those scenes if you havent)

and this side stepping of joels selfishness as a character is honestly a problem for me. and im afraid what it might mean for future episodes. because joels selfishness is very integral to his character. knowing what i do about whats coming down the line, and how theyve been talking about the “cure” so far, im so 😬 just clenching my teeth so hard. because they just... keep saying every once in a while that “there can never be a cure making a cure would be hard how would you even manufacture and distribute it?” (squinting REAL HARD AT THAT LAST ONE!!) and im soooo nervous that they might downplay just how much of a selfish asshole joel is and how they might try to make his future actions less terrible.... or justify them in some way..... or something equivalent to downplaying what happens.....

i mentioned it a while ago but these are arguments the fans have been having since summer 2013 but what annoys me about it is that none of it even matters!!! because the Only thing that matters is joels selfish choice. not whether hes right or wrong. the ambiguity is the whole point!! the selfishness is the whole point!! joel doesnt care and hes gonna do whatever he thinks is necessary regardless of the repercussions. and i am just so afraid theyre gonna undercut that. I HOPE THEY DONT IM CROSSING MY FINGERS SO HARD THAT THEY DONT WE CAN CELEBRATE IF THEY DONT but sometimes people are afraid to let their characters be shitty and have flaws and act selfishly and joel is a bit of a controversial character already. i hope they dont try to make him/his actions more “acceptable” somehow. i LIKE that hes like this it makes him INTERESTING

but yeah the rest of the episode was fine i guess. loved seeing jackson. oh but i will say that the end of the episode felt so uneventful to me which is hilarious based off of what happens, but the way things play out in the game is SO TENSE and drawn out that in comparison was just really weak in the show unfortunately. im sure it was a “for time” reason and like it still gets the idea across but again just more reason for me to stand by the game still being The True Last of Us Experience. looking forward to the left behind episode tho i am so excited to see my girl riley again 💔

#oops wrote a bit of a joel essay #it speaks #hbo tlou #half of this is me expressing my fears about future events #ive been a little nervous about these things since like ep 2 but the fears are only building unfortunately #anyway morally grey characters are the most interesting characters pls im begging them to not downplay that #the softer moments are done well i dont have any problems w his daddy side i think thats where pedro shines #i just love the original last of us so much its such an incredible character piece UGH i need to get back to my playthrough #had an unexpectedly busy week last week but i can get back to it now #ok ramble over thank u for indulging me

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craw-dacious · 6 months

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Review of the making of the map by fox_pitch

I'm new to marauders, this is the second fic I've read.

Summary: I liked this fic, a lot. It was a fun read and I really liked the progression of both Wolfstar and James/Lili (is it Jilly? I can’t remember). A bit less angsty than what I usually read and some parts felt underbaked, but the author kept my attention INCREDIBLY. I stayed up about four hours later than I usually do binge reading this. Very good.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE BEWARE

Since chapters are shorter ill do bigger recaps infrequently throughout, but still little chapter notes

Chapter one

YES THEY’RE NOT GAY YET

Cannot wait to see this unfold <3333

Aw they’re so cute, definitely a wolf star focus

I hope this goes through seventh year so I can see James and lily play out

Chapter two

Why did I not process its the first day of term thats wild and crazy

Ok so lily still is buddies with Snape which tracks timeline wise I guess

Do they pants him at the end of the fifth or sixth year I can’t remember

I am confused on the lily dynamic tbh what does she think of the group

Chapter three

This one kinda ate, im liking the short chapters I get more invested in each part of the story

Obviously I know they’re not just gonna kill off Peter, but him dying in the shack did cross my mind

I wonder when lupin gets the potion stuff

Chapter four

MURDER MYSTORY??? HOW FUN

I hope remus gets over himself soon how was Sirius supposed to know how intense the situation was bruh

Blanket statement that I apologize for all shitty teenage boy behavior they need to chill

Chapter five

Calling him inbred is hilarious Im liking remus’s pov

Hes gay James stop

Literally he’s gonna go be ur wingman be happy

Good chapter very chill

RECAP FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS

I like the silliness thats been in this so far. I am NOT liking that remus and Sirius aren’t talking to each other. Is it a narrative device? Absolutely. But I despise it so much.

I think Sirius’ characterization is very good so far, I’m surprised they haven’t fleshed out the Regulus stuff more yet. Hopefully will get his pov soon

God I hope this is a save reggie fic cmon

I really hope this passage is the one to honey dukes.

Im sure the plots about to pick up more since they’re actually making the map

Chapter six

If I was lily I would’ve folded so fucking fast bruh

Like I know he’s annoying but like he’s cute, and likes her so much, and is clearly like progressive what is the problem

Anyway, sirius needs to chill if he wants to be gay

Chapter seven

Closet time closet time its time to be emotional in the closetttt

Calling him a cat is funny

Sirius is my fave because he’s also like a fixer upper with issues but he’s not EVILL he just has trauma

And he actually wants to be the best version of himself yk (unlike some dumb ass fucking bitches I know)

Chapter eight

SHE DID NOT JUST CRUCIO HIM

Cradling his head

Sirius licking him

God can marlene just fucking kill herself please

Chapter nine

Honestly there is no world in which I wouldnt feel awkward with my friends jokingly offering to kiss me as a form of like emotional comfort like thats not normal

Like my best friend gave me a big hug after I broke up with my ex she’s not gonna go “oh haha idk what else to do other than make out with you lol lol.” Sirius what the fuck

Anyway I love to see the lily and James bonding but I can tell it makes remus feel lonelier

Wonder if we’re gonna get Peter development at all

Chapter ten

I dont even want to write uodates anymore because im liking the fic too much

Hes so stressed abt being gay I thought he already knew he was gay bruh Sirius is clueless obvi

Chapter 11

JUMPSCARE FANART BAD BAD FANART ITS TERRIBLE

Love how the maps coming together

This is not going over well with Sirius im sure

Ok so bed making out

Im so fucking horny I need to make out with someone STAT

Preferably someone with a penis bc it confirms they like me but tbh I don’t give a shit

Its 1:12 am

So it did go over well with Sirius. I expected some internalized homophobia or something but he’s actually being chill for once

OKAYYYYYYY RECAP TO CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 💋💋💋

so i got so engrossed in the story that i forgot to write my chapter notes

but so far i feel fantastic about it

LOVE LILY AND JAMES' DYNAMIC ITS SO GOOD

the regulus thing is making me want to kms. i have like no hope for reg redemption bc the fic isn't long enough, and i feel like all that happens will be the murder mystery and MAYBE gay shit

sirius was SO STUPID with marlene like clearly remus has some issues with being open and you need to like discuss,, not make out with some other bitch

also them both being bi is not what i expected? feel like remus should be gay

peters character is... interesting. why are they friends with him. also he has bo gryffy qualities wtf.

Recap AGAIN but not done yet

Ok, the wormhole shit is interesting. Poor elves.

I wonder what happened to them, is this the in between place or whatever?

They’re being too romantic on the battlefield you gotta lock in guys

Also I thought an avada grazing you killed you no matter what

Also Sirius fully used crucio and nobody like cared other than remus. Like no commentary

WHERE’S JAMES BRUH

Hilarious. Peak comedy. Coming back to life and IMMEDIATELY kissing Lily. Her being grossed out. Literally perfect.

Ok the introduction of the OOTP, seems good.

Honestly really like what I’ve seen in the fic, but it’s a bit TOO silly for my tastes. I need more angst.

Like obviously I want Remus and Sirius to be openly gay and in love but it was too easy in this fic, like with Destiel its always SUCH an issue lmao.

TOTAL RECAP:

I liked this fic, a lot. It was a fun read and I really liked the progression of both Wolfstar and James/Lili (is it Jilly? I can’t remember)

I do feel like it was a little too light at times, there wasn’t a whole lot of grey area morally, and a lot of big issues weren’t fully fleshed out. I wish they’d dived into Regulus more, and Snape. I wish they’d addressed Sirius’ use of the Cruiciatus curse, and I wish they’d address Dumbledores failings more directly

Werewolf shit was fantastic to read, the angst, the fear, the violence, the drama. I thought the transformations were excellently done and I really enjoyed the progression of them figuring out the roaming/playing

Hogsmeade passage shut off? Strange.

I did not enjoy that I cannot be sure they are safe. That’s a benefit of post-hog warts fic, if its truly marauders James and Lily often don’t die.

Overall very happy fic. I did love the aggressive use of drunkness as a plot device, I liked Lily’s characterization for the most part, and it was pretty addicting in the middle.

I thought Characterization was good, not fantastic but definitely good. Peter threw me, not very likable. It’s hard to do him correctly and have him add worth to the story, but I just did not like him the whole time, and I felt like Remus and Sirius both didn’t care for him and found him annoying.

7.5/10 <3

My rankings are not supposed to be biased. Horrible shitty fic would get like a one, something readable but bad would get a fourish. Most fics that I read will be around 7-9 simply because I sort by Kudos and get recs from misuss so they’re better quality to begin with.

Great light silly read, with just enough depth to keep it interesting. I could see myself re-reading this fic once I get to know the marauders better.

Also, I do not like the fanart in this fic but I'm sure that's not universal. The artist is credited within the fic but I'd like to tag them here just to acknoledge the hard work that went into it. I checked them out and ADORE some of their other work, this one was just not to my liking. They have some percy jackson shit up that EATS.

@komodokai on instagram

#marauders #fic reviews #fic rec #wolfstar #gay shit #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #lily evans #sirius black #regulus black #jily #wolfstar fic #fanart i dont like #but im a fanart hater 99% of the time #let me actually link the artist i almost forgot to do that

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favoringeyes · 2 years

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lena hey hii i read ur tags on angie's post abt ra*bits being exaggerated assets of nazuna's insecurities and since i dont read many of their stories i would rlly like to hear ur thoughts abt it 😸

I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS IM SORRY NIKI SOB. but yes yes i love talking abt how flawed nazuna's treatment of ra*bits was in the beginning thank u.bc its overlooked a loooot but it wasnt as toxic as his relationship in ex-valk since he barely even knew these kids when he left valk. ANYWAY. im sorry if this doesnt make sense i am insane and terrible with words but i hope u enjoy either way (also theres a lot of words. like fair warning its really massive so i understand if u dont read all of it 😭)

nazuna when he first began to help hajime, tomoya, and mitsuru had a shallow view of each of them. he sees hajime as the good girly kid, mitsuru has the bad rowdy kid, and tomoya as the normal kid. (he literally states this in a story i think its happy spring?) so lets start with what ra*bits was formed on as a whole: being cute. nazuna thought tht without shu or valkyrie his only saving grace was his looks, so he projected tht onto ra*bits when he first started to form the unit. he thought the only way he could "save" these kids was to exploit their cute looks since thts the only worth he saw in himself, it was the only worth he saw in them as idols. but to get more specific lets start with hajime. hajime is the epitome of a cute idol, girly, quiet, warm personality etc. hajime represents nazuna's insecurity abt his girlish appearance, and hajime at first, was insecure abt it as well, and was only keeping up this image to help ra*bits. but as time goes on, he slowly begins to enjoy being tht kind of idol, and embraces all his girlish traits to the full, finding strength and joy in it, which nazuna could never accomplish. moving onto mitsuru, hes basically the fun rowdy more boyish of the group. he isnt really afraid to act like himself and do whatever he wants, he loves to run and be loud, and he wears his emotions on his sleeve. but this gets him in trouble a lot, and he often gets scolded for things he simply enjoys doing or gets told hes a "bad kid." in the story "bad boys" this frustrates him, he believes the ppl he loves so much dont feel the same, and see him as a nuisance, even when he's one of the most emotionally sensitive characters in enstars, he just doesnt want to be alone again. but slowly through time, mitsuru learns tht this part of him is what makes him a wonderful idol. he also learns tht his feelings do matter, and he doesnt have to be a troubled kid all the time, bc he isnt, hes just mitsuru. this is probably a stretch, but i think this is supposed to represent nazuna's insecurity abt acting too "out of his image." or not being the good quiet doll he was so used to being for so long. and finally tomoya. tomoya is normal, hes not pretty like hajime, or bright as the sun like mitsuru. tomoya knows this, in fact its mentioned in almost every story he's in, either by himself or someone around him. this makes him feel inadequate to those around him, like he will never be able to catch up to everyone else, but especially his fellow unitmates. but, through time, he begins to realize "being normal" is like a super power for him as an idol. he utilizes it, being able to stay grounded and be completely balanced as his own idol. like his feature scout is titled he is "the epitome of idols." others can look to him for the example of what an idol is supposed to be. tomoya probably represents nazuna's biggest insecurity, his fear of being inferior in the eyes of others. its the whole reason he became shu's "doll" in the first place. shu let him stand above the rest, it gave him confidence. when shu broke down, this meant nazuna would become "nothing." just an ordinary person destroyed by the war and forgotten. so, thts why nazuna is so quick to categorize ra*bits into their basic traits, bc he's scared tht ra*bits will far apart. he feared tht if he didnt do this, if he attempted to break through the mold he fit ra*bits into, he would go back to before. he wouldnt matter unless he acted a certain way. he always wants to fit into roles tht r useful in some way (i think this is why he wanted ra*bits to see him as a big brother, as their guide, bc this made him extremely precious to them) bc tht way he doesnt have to acknowledge how insecure he really feels. as he gets attached to ra*bits though and begins to really see them like his kids, he's forced to learn tht these molds he fit all of them into didnt do them or him any good, it only managed to damage the kids so precious to him. and so through loving ra*bits, he learns to love the parts of himself he loathes the most.

#I HAD TO CUT MYSELF SHORT BC I REACHED THE TEXT LIMIT???? LOL IM SORRY I WENT A LITTLE CRAZY #i had fun though and thts what matetrs.#mail #lovebattle

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ven7s · 2 years

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nah cuz i just finished weak hero class 1 and that shit was so fucking good 😭😭. so many emotions and just wow the acting was phenomenal and the way the whole series was filmed and the ost was all just so perfect and contributed sm to how the drama turned out. and even though a lot of things were lowk diff from the webtoon it still stuck with the mainplot which i thought was weird at first but after finishing it props to the director and writer bc it turned out so well. specifically bc i felt more emotionally invested in beom seok then with bryce in the webtoon (more on this l8r)

and also im p much caught up on the webtoon but this drama still had me at the edge like 😧 i knew what was going to happen but i was still nervous asf and it was so thrilling

WEAK HERO CLASS 1 SPOILERS UNDER CUT !!!!

like i knew that beom seok wld eventually betray them but i still lowk got attached bc of how it was just so nice to see them all together laughing and having fun. and i knew the slight red flags like when beom seok checked his instagram and soo hos instagram to see if he followed back but it was just so... 🙁🙁 nice to see them together it made me so happy😭

but yeah the mix of emotions i had for beom seok.. like i hate him. hes a coward and he did irredeamable things but at the same time i feel for him. no child should go thru that type of abuse and neglect from anyone. especially from people who are there to nurture and love...

i think yk that and him being bullied in his previous school contributed A LOT as to why he turned out the way he is. ofc its not an excuse, its never an excuse but i think its def an explanation.

but i really got so angry when specifically he hired the guy to beat up soo ho for the like the 3rd time and after the boxing scene when he went up and started kicking soo ho on the head and stomach repeatedly. and also when he started to cry after realizing that soo ho wasnt breathing and how he was in a coma like mfw...😭?? not to mention the way he continued to blame young yi for the friendship falling apart.. like bro...you did that to yourself ☠️

but the thing is i dont think ill ever be able to fully hate him ??? ITS SUCH A WEIRD AND COMPLEX FEELING. like i genuinely believe that if he grew up in a loving and stable home he wldve never turned out like that. he wldve been such a sweet person😭😭. and ik that not all abuse victims turn out to be terrible people like him but idk i feel like he rlly wldve been so much better if he grew up with parents who genuinely wanted him and not just as a public stunt. even if he got therapy i think he wldve improved lowk.

but like man when episode 8 started off with all of them in the classroom on cleaning duty, just laughing and being friends that fr broke me 😕 + that whole scene when si eun was gettting revenge but couldnt hit beom seok and left the classroom and when people tried to stop him he like ounched the window next to him and started screaming LIKE MANN THAT HIT SO HARD😭😭😭 cuz hes supposed to be the smart composed person but when he started yelling it just hurt so bad 🫠

and man when i saw the eunjang sign,, the way i legit screamed ☠️☠️ IM SO EXCITED 😭

ALSO,, even though i havent watched a lot of dramas this year i think this drama is definitely one of the best, at least, its my personal favorite. and i might be biased bc ive been reading weak hero since i was in middle skl and it has a special place in my heart but idc its literally so well done😭😭 anyways my god this got way too long LMFAO and to anyone whos still reading this thanks for listening to my ramble and look at these photos from the actors instagrams 😭😭

TLDR: weak hero manhwa > weak hero kdrama but the kdrama was still pretty good wish they stuck more to the og manhwa but it turned out good so im not thaaat mad about it and im actually very psyched for s2 to come out and tbh just grateful we got a kdrama😭 +++ the OST is absolutely wonderful😞

#im deffo softhearted for anything weak hero but this drama was genuinely so good 😞💔#i genuinely cant express the excitement i have for s2 to be released #i NEED IT #like NOW 😭#weak hero #weak hero class 1 #kdrama #webtoon #+🗯

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ikemenomegas · 1 year

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jesus christ i just saw your latest jjk post and i am devastated <33 i feel like the alpha bursting into manic laughter rather than bursting into tears is a much more powerful imagery imo. Combined with your nightmare explanation, the combination of the alpha feeling bitter about the whole thing and then in the latest thing you posted, mentioned cliffs and why sorcerers dying young gives off such a raw feeling of hopelessness, despair and bitterness. The scene where the alpha starts laughing manically was giving when gojo confronted toji after toji thought he died. And that desperate moment where the alpha wants gojo to tell him if there was any hope left at all. I like that moment because its like the alpha wishing desperately for some assurance that things would be okay in the end even when its clearly looking that it wont. I wouldn't be surprised if the alpha starts slowly descending into madness like geto bc when the alpha got his bondmark removed, i got the vibe of the resentment starting to boil over. resentment towards whom? i dont think its all necessarily directed at gojo but rather at the situation. and the moment gojo steps out of that box, id imagine that his mate wasnt the same person he remembered, especially recalling the last lines in your nightmare post:

But what he doesn’t see, behind the mask Satoru wears and Shoko’s distance and Suguru’s death and your silence is that you all became monsters. Maybe Gojo Satoru chose to keep you close because for a while you were the only one left.

If the kids don’t come back, you think it might just be enough.

Gojo Satoru isn’t the only nightmare in the world after all.

The alpha's response to everything was always silence and the thought of them finally going apeshit and releasing all their pent up anger and feelings is something ill def think about everyday.

Thank you so much!! I cannot believe you put so much thought into this and that you actually went back and put in the quote! I really appreciate you saying that this stuff sticks with you. It sticks with me unless I get it on paper so now we all suffer together haha.

I'm really glad that what I was trying to put off came through. You're absolutely right that this alpha has spent a lot of time telling themselves that somehow "things are okay". They are starting to teeter over into that place that Geto ended up - where all of your sacrifices, all your pain, once meant something and now it doesn't mean anything. Sorcerer's aren't supposed to have "ideals" or lofty principles which they fight for.

If you've seen the "sorcerer rules" that gege wrote, it mostly boils down to: fight curses, don't tell normal humans that you're doing it, and listen to the jujutsu elders. We've seen before how the ones who do find a less selfish goal end up dying in ways that are terrible, often some way avoidable, and also directly related to their goal (the jujutsu code does not ask for lethal self sacrifice or suicide, but based on cultural context, would not be considered dishonorable. ie nanami could have turned around and gone for healing/help but he didn't and saved the students by sacrificing himself).

This oc has a lot more empathy than Satoru or Suguru - they can see why people make bad decisions, understand and even forgive them for it. They have the maturity to deal with people regardless if a bad decision is going to threaten the lives of the people they love or are obligated to protect. But apart from being more emotionally tuned in, they are very much like Suguru - including the part where they keep their silence until it just becomes too much, it doesn't mean anything anymore.

There are a lot of aspects of their relationship with Gojo that are just not tenable. They give him a lot of leeway because their relationship is built on contract, and because they do understand him somewhat. There are things they can't talk about, can't deal with, even though they have deep affection for one another, because of their job. And you're right, that's not Gojo's fault, but it also kind of is. The alpha doesn't want to pressure or rely on him like the rest of the world, but if you can't rely or lean on the other person in the relationship, then even if there's mutual understanding and even love, what does that mean when one of the people is left alone? The alpha may feel like they weren't relying on Gojo, but the truth is even his presence is stabilizing - in a mated pair, that bond is there even when you can't feel the other half and now it's gone. The alpha would love some honest reassurance or at least someone to tell them which way the world is going to tilt, because you're right they know they can survive without Gojo, but without the kids (and loving your kids is a very different relationship than loving your spouse) they don't know which way the world is tilting. I also never though gege would kill Tsumiki, but that's another raw wound there because she was never supposed to be involved in any of this. The panels imply that Gojo and Megumi canonically kept this from her and if she were herself she'd be mad about it (which I sort of break because alpha has a less obvious technique and has done things for Tsumiki before that technically show their powers).

To quote you: "Sorcerers dying young gives off such a raw feeling of hopelessness, despair and bitterness" precisely. I don't think anyone can look at a situation where children and teenagers and young adults experience more trauma and grief than most people encounter in their entire lifetimes and are not bitter that the people they love who experience this don't get to experience an equal amount of joy or love or appreciation or happiness before they perish.

This OC has a lot of tolerance. Their technique (like how most techniques relate to theme and personality) is partially centered around that. How much can you take before you break? For this oc, the answer is a lot more than most. I haven't written this part yet but they were injured in the Toji fight as well. They just weren't broken by it they way Gojo and Getou were. Riko's death hurt, sure, but they had failed before and knew what the sorcerer system did to show you that failure was possible way more intimately than the other two did. In this way, the OC and Shoko mirror one another.

This is the arm breaking moment, this is the week they start to crack, and the way their technique works is either they break or something else has to, because all that pain and pummeling has to go somewhere.

The fun part about this OC is they're Gojo's age-ish, so I get to do something shonen anime doesn't often get to, and show that adults still have growth and power-ups! If negative feelings are related to cursed energy etc and unlocking your own mental blocks in order to use it, well... depending on how things go in the manga there's some potential directions for oc to get some payback.

#ask answered #jjk spoilers #gojo satoru #io.myy #from the notebook #worldbuilding #tw suicide #for mentions of such as applied to the rules of sorcerers fighting a supernatural battle #io rambles #again #I talk to much #way too much!!#but I love this oc a lot and this series is getting messy but i still enjoy it #also i hate to do this but this is a gentle reminder to please use gender neutral pronouns when talking about my oc's #i use gender neutral pronouns so that everyone who reads these pieces can feel like they relate to the reader-insert character #please let's continue that even it asks so that we can keep that relatability going!#(i know sometimes phones autocorrect so I'm not going to make a fuss but please just be mindful <3)

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aerplain · 2 years

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Hiii okay pick and choose or do them all haha :] 001, Catch 22, 002, Girlverse Cathkorn, 003, Girlcart (I'm sure you saw this coming) and your OC Saph :')

HEY MAX thanks for the ask and yes i will do all of them >:}

cut bc it will be very long

CATCH 22

Favorite character: Cath... idk. :] he’s so terrible but so dumb and his parts are the funniest to read. Awful person wonderful character. I want another book of just his reactions to Situations bc he’s just such a Guy. The guy ever Least Favorite character: I think the answer for most people is aarfy. and I agree but I'm gonna also say captain black. Aarfy because he was created to function as basically the Worst, and Cpt Black bc i just personally find him annoying. There’s a lot of awful guys in c22 who are fun to read about, but reading these guy’s parts is just “man them again. do they ever shut up”. 5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Kathcorn 4ever </3

M&W (thanks max)

clevbar (thanks max)

Yoss/luciana - they’re a classic

space reserved for random joke stuff that has no reason other than “these guy’s names are always mentioned together so they’re a Thing now” (gus/wes or plitchard/wren) there’s no reason for this but its funny

Character I find most attractive: Any character I draw tbh. I think they’re all supposed to be just Guys but i cant help being like “hi 😘″ when i draw them. Character I would marry: NO ONE. they are so ridiculous Luciana Character I would be best friends with: clevinger maybe. we’re both annoying and like to seem smart. a random thought: said this earlier but they will never make a good adaptation if they don’t get the cathcart or the milo right. They're so integral to the story and they’re always adapted like “look at this funny guy. he’s going to be a nuisance.😉 now back to yossarian”. and milo is always clean shaven and cathcart is not smoking his opulent cigarette holder? why not?? An unpopular opinion: i dont know what unpopular or popular c22 opinions even are. major major could beat captain black in a fistfight My Canon OTP: Do cath & korn count. I think they should count (has read every part where they’re mentioned like 20 times and morphed it to fit my interpretation) I think heller could’ve meant it in a homophobic way. Gay disney villain korn time. If they don’t count i think the Yoss & Luciana bits were always fun too. My Non-canon OTP: Milo & Wintergreen just cuz I love your writing for them max. I never would’ve come up with this on my own since I don’t think they really interact cuz the concept itself is so fun. Business rivals>business partners> Love?? Most Badass Character: No one they are all kind of losers. Maybe Orr Most Epic Villain: same for the last one. they’re all lame. Or the idea of the catch itself and all of it’s enforcers Pairing I am not a fan of: maybe this is my unpopular opinion but i think yoss & chaplain are not ideal romantically. its the fandom go-to romance bc its the literal first line (and i used to love them when i first read the book) but idk. theyre ok to me and not as fun as all the other wacky and crazy guys out there Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I think duckett should NOT have been into yossarian and her thing should've just been being girlbffs with cramer. love loses. heller has to write every woman the way he does :[ Favourite Friendship: ME and MAX catch22bffs forever <3. real answer i think clev/dunbar/yossarian have the best conversations theyre all so insufferable in their own ways and its great Character I most identify with: nurse cramer. kinda her friend starts dating some guy and she’s like “ok what happened to being girl best friends😒”. and dobbs in the sense that i am kind of bad at a lot of the things i have to do Character I wish I could be: NO ONE for real this time. i can’t think of a single guy who isn’t either awful or has awful things happen to them. or both

Kathcorn :>

When I started shipping them: i remember reading the book the first time and thinking ‘wow they are just like my ocs. theyre dating behind the scenes haha’ and then forgetting about them. And I get back into the book and find a few other people who are Cath n Korn fans, I get really into Kathcorn Kontent, I draw them more and now they're my favorites <3 My thoughts: they’ve got one of my favorite themes, where the relationship isn’t beneficial to their main goals at all really. They both want to rise the ranks and being In Love with your right hand man isn’t really gonna help with that. Korn’s like one of those edgy guys who says he doesn’t want to get attached to people because it’s Just a Distraction from the Real Goal. And Cathcart’s one of those annoying guys who says he doesn’t want to get attached to people because it’s Just a Distraction from the Real Goal. And then both of them would try to justify it in their own silly ways and eventually have come to terms with it. And its also funny cuz they’re both just The Worst. What makes me happy about them: they are both so lame and evil and sucks that everything they do will be entertaining to me What makes me sad about them: I dont think they can even exist in a way that isn’t destructive to each other and everyone else around them. Not really sad since I focus more on the silly aspect but it could be. Not that they wouldn’t deserve it but it sucks that they have to drag the entire world into their evil love affair </3 Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Nothing they are ALL good i think to be a korn&cath liker you have to already Understand so all the fanfictions will naturally be good bc of that Things I look for in fanfic: For it to exist and for it to center around their inane interactions and just how awful they are but in a #love way My wishlist: I wish we got a scene inside the farmhouse. Just to see what theyre up to 🤔I wish we got the Korn chapter too Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: no one comes to mind. dreedle and peckem My happily ever after for them: their happily ever after is probably promotion and continuing to ruin lives but i think they really have to end up in the farmhouse. They cant have a farmhouse and not just retire there when everything goes wrong. its too convenient and its perfect

Girlcart<3<3<3

How I feel about this character: genderswap of cath that i got really attached to for no reason. Cathcart is interesting as a hypothetical female character since he’s trying to be this stereotypical toughguy all the time but he’s also so dumb and evil and awful. girlcart, i wuv her. she’s so important. She’s just woman cathcart but there’s the added interest of how she ended up as a squadron commander as a woman in the 40s, her relation with masculinity/femininity, whether she becomes more sympathetic when her problems are not all self imposed.. and we need more loser evil women everywhere Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: could it ever be anyone but girlkorn My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: to be honest she wouldnt have many friends but i think her interactions with milo would be funny. i like what we made up about Girl Milo being very ‘this is my 10 step beauty routine you should do it too. buy M&M skincare’ and cathcart being like ‘eww... makeup, gross” but also wanting to impress milo because milo is Successful My unpopular opinion about this character: She deserves everything ever shes so special. girlcart hiii. she sucks and she’s lame One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: there’s no canon bc we just make it all up. but i think her established storyline is growing up and not really belonging anywhere that a Lady(TM) would typically in the 20s-30s, always being second best in the rich east coast elite world and being desperate for some recognition. I think she deserved a friend who wasn’t caught up in the whole status thing Favorite friendship for this character: does milo count? danby? anyone? Korn’s her only friend and cathcart can’t stand her. I’ll be her favorite friend My crossover ship: what would she even cross over into?? she’d need a kornguy that’s all i know.

Saph (OC)

How I feel about this character: Spy character for my main story. She's been around for longer than any character i’ve ever liked ever. I made her in middle school and she was a dragon named Sapphire (hence the Saph) and she’s stayed with me through countless story changes. I dont think because of anythign particularly special about the character but she was my first OC and typical toughgirl undefeatable no-weaknesses character made by a 12-year-old. and i think she retains that in sprit but in practice she’s a total mess. I <3 U saph Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Riya, another oc that i made to be saph’s sidekick also in middle school who i recently decided should #love her. I can’t really see Saph in any romantic situations so they’re either in an awkward purely physical relationship that’s really tragic for Riya or its an equally fail unrequited love situation. Riya’s not very outgoing so she’s kind of stuck with Saph and Saph doesn’t tend to get attached to anyone My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Riya again if you count the weird sexual-platonic thing they’d have going on. but she’s also got her spy team of basically a bunch of frat boys and they like to be Dudes together. I don’t like them tho and a lot of them are basically expendable in the story. rip My unpopular opinion about this character: she could fight 1000 demons and 1000 skeletons & not get scared One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: since her spy team is out trying to kill a politician (other side of the story) i think it would be funny to write the alternate ending where they team up cartoon-style against a Greater Evil. i think the personalities would mesh well (awfully). I think a lot of her problems couldve been avoided too if the spy team had ditched their stupid orders and just gone on the run (which she and riya do in the end anyways) Favorite friendship for this character: i feel like she’s the sort to always Know A Guy wherever they go. but i dont really have anyone specific yet aside from the main characters and their counterparts. So for now im answering Riya for a third time. My crossover ship: i have nothing to cross over except catch 22. im gonna say wintergreen

#c22 #my story tag #sorry this took forever i forgot about it but i was dedicated to doing all of it <3

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thatnarcissisticfeel · 2 years

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hi, thanks for answering, i appreciate it. also that you didn’t just call me toxic or some shit and tell me to fuck off. i’ve actually never thought of joining a discord server but it’s a good idea, thank you, i think i could try that. i guess on another account though to prevent anyone from accidentally finding out bc you know for yourself how it is. i’ll look up if i can find some kind of dbt workbooks online as well.

the journaling idea is good as well, i’ve actually been trying for a while but i end up rarely using it as a past experience left me with kinda bad trust issues about writing / drawing things down where someone could see them. but i guess i could try hiding it better this time or something. it’s just this thing that also sometimes venting like that actually ends up making me even more frustrated, as i realize i’ve already written about this exact thing countless times before yet still nothing has changed.

i’m trying not to make a too harsh judgement of my therapist yet, considering i haven’t been seeing her for that long, but… yeah. when i said that i’ve been going to therapy for years i meant going to a lot of different ones in this time. no one ever gets me. their advice is always so fucking useless. honestly at least this current one actually listens and doesnt make me feel uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. i think she’s the one i’ve been the most honest with because of that (and also because i just started telling her everything from the first session on already bc i’m tired of everyone always turning out to be nothing but a waste of time and money and effort), i generally lie to therapists esp my psychiatrist so i can get the meds i want (or else im 100% she’d just put me on some shit like antipsychotics, which ive been on in the past and i’d honestly rather kill myself than take them again, idk if you’ve tried them before but i basically felt r*tarded [idk how some ppl are sensitive of slur use like i personally dont care but i dont want your blog banned or smth] and tired all the time and it “”””helped”””” in the way that it made me too slow to be able to think about my problems. thanks psychiatry. not a traumatizing experience at all). i mentioned that i suspect i could have a personality disorder to her once or twice and she seemed to agree that it could be a possibility, but obviously no one can diagnose that fast. but i guess i’ll see. i really just want to know whats wrong with me, why do i think the way i do, why i can’t just be more fucking normal no matter how hard i try. but getting an actual diagnosis of a PD esp if it turned out to be this one would just mean i’d get treated even worse by every single doctor, not even necessarily a mental health one, bc physical doctors see all your records as well,, i’ve already been told my legitimate physical issues are just bc im depressed, or even if they dont straight up tell me they definitely treat me less seriously and i just know its bc i have mental illnesses diagnoses & im female.

i just … ugh. i feel so sick of it all and misunderstood. i know i can get genuinely abusive in arguments when someone upsets me but i really dont know how to stop or control myself. i hate that people act as if it’s all my fault. like everything i’ve gone through doesn’t even matter and i’m just an inherently evil person. like i didn’t have some kind of a terribly traumatic childhood, but i’ve always been either bullied or excluded by almost everyone i’ve ever met and all the social isolation honestly really fucked me up. i think that’s why i developed such a strong individuality complex as i’ve never been able to think all of it must be simply because i’m worthless. like fuck no, 99% of the people are dumb and shallow and ignorant towards reality of the world and i’m supposed to feel like i’m somehow worse than them? at least i have self awareness and my own thoughts. i mean i do think we’re all worthless because nothing in life has any value, so why should humanity be the exception? that still doesn’t stop me from hating everyone though. i may be a hypocrite but so is everyone else; and at least i don’t pretend to be a gOoD pErSoN. lacking empathy and not having morals doesn’t make me any less deserving of help even though i know how many people unironically believe people like me should just be shot. fucking brainless hypocrites, all of them.

but anyway yeah my point here is, fuck people who think anyone chooses to be this way. all of this has done nothing good for me other than made my life much harder. and not to mention unable to ever get genuinely close to anyone because what is the worth in a relationship if i can’t even bring myself to care about anyone? i don’t think “empaths” even realize how alienating it actually is. which is once again so ironic because THEY should be the ones to try to understand it, but no, they just generalize everyone and share the nonsense propaganda that we’re incapable of change.

so yeah, this turned into another vent but i really lack any people in my life who i could be honest with. i feel so lonely all the time. it’s not even really missing a friend group or romance or physical touch, it’s more of this feeling of feeling completely alone and that no one (other than a few people whose writings and actions i admire but they’re all dead) would ever be able to truly understand me. so yeah as cheesy as it is, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded i’m not alone by someone other than a generic social media post made by someone who’d 100% hate me if i told them even half this shit. can i maybe dm you sometime btw? i felt like staying anon while writing this bc i tend to get anxious with ppl at first but idk, maybe, if youre comfortable with that ofc

btw if its alright to ask can i ask how did you get diagnosed? what was the process like and how long did it take? did they suspect anything else at first? do you feel treated by ppl any differently now tjat you have a diagnosis of such a stigmatized disorder? (^ i mean these previous questions if youre diagnosed by a psych, if not its perfectly valid as well ofc) whats personally helping u to cope?

Good luck! I’m glad I could offer some help/reassurance. Maybe instead of a physical journal you could use a private blog or even just a notes app on your phone/computer if that sounds safer?

I do hope things improve with your new therapist and that things work out, it’s good that she at least agrees you might have a PD. Normally I’d recommend a therapist who specializes in PDs, maybe even especially NPD, but idk if that’s accessible for you and/or if you’ve already tried it and had no luck.

But again, I want to reiterate that you’re not alone, and what you’re going through and what you feel is 100% relatable to other pwNPD. I truly wish that more people understood us and the irony isn’t lost on me that it’s always “empaths” who are the ones who have the LEAST empathy for us. And I feel like the societal lack of understanding contributes to the more “ugly” or “stigmatized” traits of our disorder even more, tbh. Anyway, my point is that I definitely don’t mind at all if you vent, so please do feel free to DM me if you want to or feel more comfortable that way!

As for my diagnosis, it’s a bit messy — for context im a recent graduate from college and the bulk of my therapy came from campus services, where it was acknowledged I very likely had a PD especially within cluster B but I never got an official diagnosis while I was seeing the school-based therapist, and at the moment I’m trying to find a new therapist who can help me. At first we thought I just had a really intense form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria due to ADHD, then realized it was likely something else. So I’m a weird mix of “self diagnosed, but likely wouldn’t have admitted it to myself or realized it if a professional hadn’t pointed me in that direction.” Until I can find a professional im honestly just doing the best I can to help myself. Sometimes I get tempted to turn to substances to cope bc they make me softer and more open, and if you feel the same way I highly recommend avoiding this, ofc. I mostly use relatable music (lmk if you want my NPD playlist!) and DBT workbooks as a way to help myself, and I also just try my hardest to avoid or remove myself from situations where I might lose my cool and become toxic. Obviously this is easier said than done, but there are ways to do it. For instance, if I’m in a group chat where I feel like people are getting more attention than me, I’ll mute the group chat and maybe text someone from a different group one-on-one (not necessarily about my issues, just in general).I know that answer is pretty mild and entirely social media based lol, but it’s the best example I can provide.

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