Soulmates are weird. What do you mean this guy (gender neutral) is a part of me that's missing? and it can happen multple times???

andways im very *handshake* with you Phil - Voidling Anon

YEAH FOR REAL!!!! It's wild that you can just be like straight up missing a part of yourself like that rahghg. UNIVERSE WHEN I GET YOU!!!!

shaking your hand so much mate...

hii can i get a male match up please for tokyo revengers :) im a she/her - sorry if theres quite a bit here D:

- i like animals especially red pandas and i also like bugs too. i also sometimes like to read both manga and actual books, i like any theme but when it comes to manga i either like shonen or stories like goodnight punpun/ a girl on the shore

im very enthusiastic towards music, i listen to any genre. i can go from heavy mental and rock, to goth, to something like lana del ray where i feel like i need to be in the rain with red wine, to calm/ smthin indie, sole crushing, and then scene. theres a whole lot more i could add. lemme also add in midwest emo.

- i cant exactly pinpoint what i dislike aside from the wind because it messes up with my hair, i swear if the wind was a solid id have it knocked down immediately. though I also tend to get annoyed by people that don't use common sense.

- my hobies incule art, i have a lot of sketchbooks and majority of my lessons are done by doodling and getting told off by my the teacher cause i dont pay attention, but i still carry on. i also like to make jewelry such as bracelets/neclases, their mainly beaded but their still cute to wear and i like to make bracelets for close people

- (just for extra info here →) im mentaly unstable and have severe attached issues as well as issues with family on every aspect. id like to get better, however i just end up going down a loop hole so i cant/dont which makes everything much harder than it needs to be.

- my energy gets drained QUICK so im mostly a listener rather than a speaker when it comes to social interactions, however i do have my days where i can be jumpy and almost euthoric and talk like my life depends on it with a lot of excitement

- also i can get sudden motivation that i end up reorganising my room, one day it'd look that then after 4 months itd look like this. i tend to do spontanious little things here and there when im in a good mood and that includes in dying/cutting my hair. also ive pierced myself 6x with thumb tacks and their all healed very nicely. i have 9 ear piercings in total.

- never was much of an academic person in school, but i tend to be smart outside of it and i find enjoyment in observing people and using my own thoughts rather than finding sources

- i wont call myself shy, maybe at first sure but as i get comfortable i can go all out and i dont mind in making the first move as long as i get the same energy back, otherwise if that energy isn't given then ill forget all about them.

- i can be extremely clingy when i want to be, i hold back in latching onto someone on a daily basis. i wanna hold someone's hand, be on their back like a bag, and just overall connect soles. im touch starved and overall I can be very affectionate physically, though I'm awful at using my words for affection.

Hello! There isn’t too much. It’s actually a good thing. That means it’s easier to pick because I know more about you. It makes the match more accurate. So let’s go!

You Got…

Izana Kurokawa!!!!!

Boy is all about loyalty and keeping those he loves around!! So you wanting to be clingy, is perfect!!!

He’s a leader so he would do all the talking for you

Very patient (we saw his like 8 year plan to take down Mikey lol) so if you are struggling with anything, he’s there for you.

Would play music for you on his guitar. I think indie rock probably.

Idk why but I also called him a human red panda. The reason his because he looks cute but is a menance like red pandas.

At home dates or concerts! I hope you like the matchup!!!

hi!!!! sending you a message to say hello!!!! hope youre doin ok!! i dont know if asks are a good way of talkin to people but if you want to just talk about something i am curious to know what the heck beavis and butthead even is hahahaaa

hello!!! thank you so much 🩷💖🩷 I'm doing fine trying to derail my one track mind! (lyrics)

okay sure! So Beavis and Butthead originally started as a single short from Mike judge called "frog baseball" that was played on MTV's "liquid television", which was an animation showcase at the time

(another cartoon that I love that started out there was aeon flux! the live action movie is awful, the later seasons aren't quite like the original shorts, but the og shorts are MAGICALLLLL)

because of that shorts popularity, MTV ended up ordering a series out of it and Mike judge didn't really know what he was doing at the time. he had just graduated with a degree in physics but he found the field very boring and once he saw some animation cells he decided to get a camera and get into it himself.

so this opportunity was one of his very first steps into big time animation. he had made an animated short right before called office space which ended up becoming the big movie office space too!

Beavis and Butthead at its core is really just about like I think the most low brow basic but still funny jokes that like we all make as people? like. that's what she said, but without that's what she said. giggling at funny words and laughing at toilet humor and seeing the stupidity and things but not vilifying them? there's stuff that we all do and stuff that we all laugh at and Beavis and butthead is a really fun way at showing it. they were like the blueprint for a lot of formats and a lot of things we find funny and a lot of successful low brow jokes

something special to this season alone is the development of the characters and additional information about how they would feel about things happening? in the original it was very you get what you see and you see what you get and the boys would just behave certain ways and you could speculate a lot on their behavior. but now we're being given a lot of fun little tidbits from other characters and other sources, like if Beavis died, then Butthead would be so sad that he would die of grief a few days later. whereas before they've been quick to say that they're not really friends and that they don't really care about each other, even though you know it's not true and you know deep down that they do care about each other and that they need each other, It's kind of interesting that we're getting confirmations of extra information. Even though you didn't really need it for that interpretation to be valid to begin with.

It's fun to have something so stupid, but also have an extra layer of meaning on it because like even if they're stupid or degenerate or whatever (The truth is they are that way because they were abandoned but that's not the focus of the show) they're still people and they still go through life and they still have to live it and it's fun to get to watch them see how they would do it because they end up having these really awful shitty lives that they somehow managed to find a lot of joy and peace and contentment with and I guess that aspect of it is what really hits home for me even if I think that's an unintended but pleasant side effect

Leaf here again, same TWs (financial abuse mostly) and ableism tw

Hello I'm back already because today was a lot.. Right now I feel like venting mostly, it's just that a lot has happened

So basically I had a rough week already and since I'm autistic I need to have more down time than others, and I Didn't have it. Many unexpected things piling up and I got so little sleep.

My mom ended up giving me a check that covered 2 classes and I'm not surprized because they intentionally play on my panic (I had anticipated that the way they told me was on purpose to make me panic). So it's not great but I got that covered at least.

I also had some money that my grandma gave me but it didn't cover much either because these classes are extremely expensive (I'm still really grateful however). When I paid for the classes I told them to remove my father's email address, they won't send him the bills or the planned classes anymore. To be honest I don't know if this was a good choice because everything is so hard to anticipate, but they send me the documents so it should be fine.

Then I went to my driving lesson and it was awful? I didn't have enough time to prepare because like I said the week was rough so I was in pain, I coudln't mask so I drove poorly and my teacher kept criticizing me every 2 seconds. To summarize I've experienced this type of behavior since forever because I'm disabled and people refuse to believe that I'm trying.

So I ended up crying when we talked about my progress during that specific class at the end, and it was really uncomfortable. It's retraumatizing and I really hate it because I could tell I was getting better, even today because messing up is part of the process.

Then I came back and learned my other grandma was going to come over, so it was a good opportunity to ask her for hel. Even though it worked out in the end, it was such a pain to just talk to her alone. I had to ask my mom twice and be super firm just so we would be alone together.

My grandma said that they had planned to give me a lot of money after I got my driver's licence, but since I need it now and I'm responsible they already gave me everything. It's a relief although I'm not sure if it will cover everything, but I will try to leave that on the side for now because it's given me so much anxiety lately.

I suppose I'm back to the "normal" window, so things are "okay". Basically if I work my ass off and do the most people pleasing i can (since my parents disgust me and i dont like to lie), then things stay at a doable level. I suspect that my parents are doing it on purpose too, because if they were to go all out then they would lose their good image. I use that to my advantage by pretending I still believe in it and care about them - though they seem to suspect I don't believe any of it, but if they can pretend we're a great family, then I can too.

To be honest it's a bit hard to talk about this because I feel like people will call me a liar for needing help when I genuinely never know which options I have with my parents. They can always choose to have a random power trip but sometimes they do give me crumbs. That makes me afraid of being misunderstood because I do come from a "comfortable" background, but my quality of life is less than ideal. Even if they weren't abusive, there's more than meets the eye - my dad gets paid well, but he's a factory worker who didn't pass high school. If he were to get fired (which will happen eventually), he wouldn't have the same salary anymore.

Hi Leaf,

I'm so sorry about what's been going on. It sounds like you've been going through a lot recently, not only with paying for classes but also issues with your driving lesson. It makes sense how being paid or not can be a significant source of anxiety.

I wish your driving instructor could be more understanding of what you've been going through, and that they could be more mindful of how critiquing someone constantly can affect someone, as well as more constructive and compassionate ways to offer suggestions or corrections. I can understand how this experiencing was retraumatizing for you.

I can see how this might be hard to talk about. Please remember that you know yourself best and it's not other people's place to tell you what your needs are. Whatever needs you do have are valid and deserve to be respected and met. Obviously internalizing this is easier said than done especially with experiences like yours where you're made to feel afraid of being misunderstood and such.

I hope that you can find healing and begin to process everything you've been going through in a healthy way, hopefully with the guidance and mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, if that is an option for you.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions feel free to add on. Otherwise I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

I got witcher!Ciri too! I kind wonder wha would happen if she died tho, dont wanna put geralt or her through that but I love angst lmfaoo. The game got really confusing at point cause I you have to learn a bunch of politics and how this world works and I didnt pay that much attention so I'm sure I'll get those moments in my second playthrough too I'm playing something in the hearts of stone thnig, it was lower level so I'm assuming you should play that first? a main quest with the asshole ghost in the wedding and wow I fucking hate it, it's so umcomfortable to watch geralt be this gross n weird lol, I'm not too familar when Shani either so watching her get mad when I get geralt to say he wouldnt do what the ghost is doing is so annoying lol, OH AND the ghost is a creepy fuck! shani babe you can do much much better than an asshole who talks about his dick and fucking "maidens" every other sentence!! Geralt really does get thrown into so much shit huh I'm tempted to read the books cause I do rly like the world and most- some characters but yeah reading about yen being yen wold be one of the things to stop me, what are some of the plot points that put you off? if you don't mind sharing And yeah I'd so be up for more content esp with ciri, would be cool to see them work together, even with how combat works in this game with npcs lmao

Woo witcher Ciri ending! :D If you enjoy putting yourself through pain I recommend looking up that other ending on YouTube because there are definitely some nice angst shots in the cut scenes. I watched and then promptly went, “I don’t need to play that for myself” lol. But yeah, hard agree on things getting confusing, especially towards the end. I completely missed stuff like the fact that my actions would actually impact this war, rather than the war simply being backdrop, or that Ciri’s powers were more than just the ability to teleport short distances. So by the time I was getting called on to murder kings and Avallach was taking us to totally different worlds, I had a very John Mulaney approach of, “This might as well happen. Things are already so goddamn weird.” Which, you know, really isn't the game's fault. It's what I get for jumping into the third game first and while I don't regret that at all, the story has absolutely deserved a second playthrough where I actually understand all the basic stuff I should have known going in.

Yeah, Hearts of Stone comes first. You can do any of the side quests you’d like from either DLC, but I’d recommend keeping Blood & Wine’s main storyline for the final push. But yeah, that ghost dude is, uh… something. I quite like the wedding on the whole—I really enjoy Shani, dancing is fun, O’Dimm is being a wonderfully evil dude—but yeah, dead dude is definitely a creep. Which is partly one of the things that turned me off from the books. It has the same ‘Guy trying to write women’ energy of the games but… worse. I’ve read a lot of excerpts over the years and so many of them turn me off. There are a ton of small things, like Triss importantly informing the witchers (who are all like 100+ years old??) about periods and that Ciri can’t train today because of hers (a moment that much of the fandom celebrates as... progressive?), or Triss and Yen getting super catty with one another over Geralt, to much bigger things like Ciri nearly getting raped/being involved in intimate acts with really questionable consent. A lot of the Witcher has a “This didn’t age well” vibe to it which, to be fair, isn’t entirely the fault of the author. The story is the product of 90’s Polish culture and, again, a man trying to write some pretty complex subjects from an arguably ignorant place, which makes much of the work eye-rolling for me at best, outright uncomfortable at worst. (Which I think is why I enjoy the games far more. I have agency in this questionable world, the ability to tailor it somewhat to my own beliefs and desires, which makes moments when that's taken away, like Geralt automatically commenting on how good Yen looks at a funeral, all the more frustrating). I obviously am not a Geralt/Yen fan, which sours a great deal of the plot. From what I got through the pacing felt like a slog and, more importantly, much seems to have been lost in the translation from Polish to English. (I continually hear about how amazing the dialogue is, but sadly that hasn’t come across in translation for me. Much of it is... awkward.) The parts I’ve heard about/read excerpts of that I’m most interested in—Geralt’s hanza—ends tragically and I’m… just not here for that right now. Which isn’t to say it’s badly written or anything, just that it’s not my personal cup of tea, especially nowadays with a pandemic and what all going on lol. I look at what I know of the series as a whole and go, “Do I really want to read five books filled with outdated representation for women, that old-school fantasy violence that turned me off GoT, with a super depressing ending, all wrapped up in an iffy translation and a style I don’t think does well in long-form storytelling? … Not really.”

Still loved most of the short stories and I’ve heard that many people liked the audio book versions when they couldn't get into the text, so I might give that a go someday. I’d prefer to actually have read all the source material for a fandom I’m spending so much time in, but I sadly just haven't had the urge yet. If you do read them, anon, you’ll have to tell me what you think. It’s becoming quite the divisive topic, especially as Netflix fans turn to the books, and—putting aside that everyone’s tastes will always differ—it’s interesting to hear not just whether someone had fallen in love with the books or not, but if they haven’t what about them prevented that. It's very much a case of one person's "That was awful" being another's "Are you kidding me? That's the best part!"

Baby Anakin part 1

@anakinandthecaptainrex

(So sorry this took so long.)

Fives and Echo were usually the source of Rex's headaches. Pranking people, getting others in trouble. You get it. They're maniacs.

So yes Rex was having a God damn stroke over this. His General is litterally a kriffing baby for Jango's sake!

On minute he's sassing the queen of hoodoo the next he's a little baby naked as day in his pile of robes. Honestly he deserved it. Karma was after all a bitch. But it didnt hinder any kind of hilarity to the Arcs.

Reaching down to the little General Echo giggled. "Aw, now look what you got into Jetti. Rex told you it was bad idea." Anakin's eyes watered and his lip quivered. As if Echo were his mother he held the back of his fuzzy head and pulling him close to his chest. "Oh hush now. I'm here. You're okay Jett'ika." Fives looked almost as shocked as Kix. Wide eyes like he hadn't expected a joke to go so far.

"Dont you comfort him" Talzan hisses, reaching to grab Echo's arm. Receiving a deep set, viscous glare from the Arc trooper.

"Watch your tone Witch, or I'll give you something to complain about when I knock your pretty teeth in."

If it weren't for Fives and Kix's shock with how protective Echo just got, Rex would've been in a corner rocking himself to insanity. "Turn him back now." Someone said over the low growl coming off of Echo. Everyone's eyes, including the tiny Generals, finding Rex. He hadn't even recognized his own voice. "Turn him back, or so help me Jango you'll never know pain like I'd give you Talzan." It was a thought at best.

"Bad little boys who threaten get punished Captain." Even Dogma cringed somewhere in the crowd of troopers aiming their rifles for the hag.

The tiny Generals hand flat against Echo's chest plate as he watched Rex. With tired, big, impossibly blue eyes. Rex found it hard not to love the adorable tiny Jedi. Though Kenobi would be on his death bed the moment he saw him like this.

"Turn. Him. Back." Fives growled having enough of this. Though so hypocritical.

"I can't." She yelled, setting Anakin to cling onto Echo and the peice of his robe hed been wrapped up in. Troopers instinctively moving closer to Echo and Anakin. Protecting the Ad.

Fives looked quite unamused. "Why?"

Talzan glare at the floor. "Because the moment He's like this the spell cannot be reversed." Rage boiled deep in Rex's core. Setting his nerves on fire.

"How long does the spell last." Echo whispered angrily. Trying to comfort Anakin.

"A week to a month depending on how it affects the person." A sigh on relief left Kix. As the acting mother of the 501st, or at least how he acts, Kix couldn't deal with the reality of raising up a once full grown himbo. It was just too much. And even Echo wasn't fit to take care of a baby let alone a force sensitive baby. Kenobi on the other hand knee kids, but has never cated for a baby. Maybe hed be more fit?

It was all so confusing when Rex found himself in his quarters with the tiny General in his lap, asleep like nothing had happened. He looked so peaceful like this. Holding onto Rex's index finger with his tiny hands.

Maybe once or twice he'd held a baby during campaigns. When mothers often came to thank them. Bringing their children along to see the soldiers. One time being quite memorable when a little blond human girl and her mother asked if any of the men were hungery. Of course Rex tried to decline by saying they had rebuilding to do. But the woman and her adorable daughter insisted heavy. So Rex and the others joined them for dinner. All sitting and eating, laughing, talking, telling stories to the young, listening to stories for the old, drinking, singing, dancing, living. Anakin looked so happy to see Rex and the others just let loose and have fun. To forget about the war, the death and the greif. To just live a little. Maybe that was why Anakin always pushed them to have fun on leave. Pulling Tex out of his office and dragging him to 79s where hed inevitably forget why he was there in the first place and go back laughing like it was normal. Drunk as a wine aunt at a family reunion. Holding onto Anakin and giggling the whole way there while the Jedi just laughed and talked with him more. Staying with him till he fell asleep, then moved Rex to his bed.

Anakin made a happy noise if Rex's arm as he slept. The Clone enjoying the peace the rarely came when around this jedi. Thanking Jango above for the one moment of breath before Kenobi lost his shit tomorrow over this.

"Gods Rex wont you let go of the General?" Jesse teased faux annoyed with his Captain. Pressing sass into his tone.

Rex chuckled looking down at Anakin on his hip. "No I dont think I will. And plus he enjoys being held." He sighs smiling softly. Kixs voice wasn't one to be ignored usually but his bantha shit was still bantha shit.

"I bet he thinks hes the Jett'ika's buir now." He laughs earning a glare from both Anakin and Rex.

"Can it Kix, you're one to talk." Someone oo'd. Perhaps Fives who watched with Echo from where they shoveled Food into their faces. The table going quiet as the Medic sputtered and finnaly gave up.

"Oh shut your shebs." He groaned letting Rex have the last word. Laughing at Kix's frustration while waiting for the boys to finish eating. Anakin watching the same. Eyeing Echos untouched ration bar carefully.

"I think Tinykin is hungery." Fives chuckled, nearly choking ofn his food. Anakin made a sound of anger at the nickname.

"Fives, dont call him that. You know he cant defend himself from your teasing." Echo scoffed.

"Suddenly you're a mother now."

The men laughed.

"Ha ha funny Echo. Like you didnt baby him on Dayhomir like a god damned wet nurse." Echo paused. Holding back a smile at the funny insult.

"What's a wet nurse?" Fives asked looking genuinely confused. Rex could see the internal conflict in Kix's eyes on whether he sound explain it to a dumbass or let Fives be an confussed dumbass. Either way both option were tempting.

"Kix can tell you later. Tight now I need you all to act like nothing wrong when Kenobi gets here and leave the sheb beating to me." They nodded. There was not a fate worse than death. If... You have met Kenobi. His lectures where fatal. Boring you so bad you die inside and then out like a disease. Eating your guilt up like apple sauce and topping it of with a punishment that had you bored out of your own sanity. It's why the 212th was always so well behaved. Because Kenobi was not merciful when it came to punishments.

"Good luck Rex." Jesse breathed almost looking concerned for his captain.

"Luck doesnt exsist Jesse boy." He whispered walking away toward the landing docks where Kenobi would be waiting now. Having stalled already for too long.

Gods have mercy...

why do you think that most authors always want to make theyr favorite characters suffer or to see them suffer? like, i know it happens with enough frecuency to be a meme and i also do it in a regular basis, but i dont get why people do it.

There's a lot of reasons for that, and it all depends on the kind of suffering the character is being put through I think.

If we're talking about simple fanfic, or fanart, the most common explination is seeing what the character will do in a situation like that. Pushing or pulling or squishing a character until their breaking point is a fun excercise in seeing the limits a character has, ones you don't think about under normal circamstances, and the suffering you're putting them through isn't for the sake of a narrative or part of an arc, it's just for fun. Exploration for exploration's sake.

If, by the end of a story or narrative, they come out a better person, stronger and prouder than before, it's just a classic character arc. You can't have good things without showing bad things, you can't have development without there being a problem to solve.

I haven't watched the entirety of Korra, but from what I know, her arc at a certain point focuses on her overcoming all the trauma she went through, and by the end of that arc, she may look worse for wear, but shes stronger mentally, and once she fully recovers physically too, she's a stronger individual altogether. Her suffering served the narrative purpose of preparing her for what's to come next in the story, literally or figuratively.

Another kind of suffering is the "tragic" kind, where a character goes through something awful, it makes them a worse person, and they don't seem to fully move on from it at any point. (I'll be honest I'm not good at writing this one, but) I think this is mosty used to give the story and the characters depth, and something that the writer can lean on when they're not sure what to do with them.

A good example for the above would be Toriel and Asgore from Undertale. They both went through the same trauma, it made them both act like bad people (in varying degrees, but still), and neither of them really overcome the damage these events did to them by the end of the game. For Toriel, this is used to give her character depth, and to add an extra dimension to her "motherly" nature. Asgore, on the other hand, is not really explored as a character in the game outside of his trauma and his worst qualities, when talking to him specifically (which makes him all the more endearing to me and unappealing to most people but oh well). The other characters in Undertale are usually a better source of information about these two people than they themselves are, but I think I'm starting to get off topic.

There's also the "true tragedy" kind of suffering as I like to call it, wherein it follows a three act structure, and the character being poked with a doom stick is probably the protagonist. In this case, the character is first downtrodden, then they "rise" in some way, finding success or love, and then they "fall", being dragged down to a fate worse than when they started, probably dying by the end too. These kinds of stories are very hard to execute, but I find they can be one of the most fascinating kinds of stories IF done properly and with care. Each action having a reaction that all culminates by the end, as well as all the characters being as real as possible, can both work to make the audiance really invested, or so I'm told.

A bad example of the above, in my opinion, is Caliborn from Homestuck. While he is a villain, Hometuck is also a story that gives every single character the limelight, and a chance to shine in their personal journeys. This fails spectacularly with Caliborn, even if he goes through a borderline textbook character arc. Instead of seeing things from his point of view, he is constantly mocked by the narration and by himself, and instead of seeing the trials he went through and the suffering he endured, we are only told about those things, and it can have the opposite effect. Instead of seeing him as someone who's gone through unspeakable trauma, we see him as someone who never stops complaining. Instead of seeing what the people closest to him think about him, or talk about him outside his painful existance, we only see hatred for him, or neutrality bordering on ignorance. On the one hand, I think that all might've been intentional, to take away any sympathy from the "big bad" of the main story, but on the other hand, I have very little reason to ever trust Hussie's intentions as a writer anymore, so I will simply call this a bad execution of a tragic character arc (especially because other hestuck villains are given the same, or similar treatment, as if Hussie is avoiding giving these people visible depth like he does to every other character).

I'm no expert on this topic, but the question you asked is a really interesting one to think about! I know I personally look at characters as tools for a story, more than I look at them as people or idols, so my explination for all of this is highly personal.

God, I keep getting recommended that goddamn killing stalking video. No YouTube, I actually *dont* want to watch a video essay about some dude who did fuck all research talk about why he doesn't like this comic I really enjoyed. I bet he ignores the fact that it's one of (if not, the only) popular queer media that focuses on horror. Yes, queer people and horror are very much intertwined, but this is the only piece of media where its explicitly queer by having the two main characters be queer men. Sorry, I'm just really upset by people not doing a lick of research then getting up on their high horse to preach to us about how shit something is. Ugh.

To be fair (and this is the only point I will give him because fuck that guy), he doesn’t criticize the manwha on itself. It’s a little annoying that he defines as a stritctly psychological horror and completely disregard the Boy Love portion of it’s genre, either because he doesn’t know or decided that it was irrelevant, which is a little disrespectful considering it’s a an asian genre and his western ass kept acting as if the idea of this being considered anything BUT horror was just wrong. Like, his whole shtick really REEKS of someone who hasn’t ever even read BL but still dismiss it all the same because his comprehension is limited by his own ethnocentrism. I mean, the fact that he could only mention three other works that “romanticize abuse” and they were all western was pretty fucking telling. Besides he was talking about how it was “weird” for Koogi to publish sexy/shippy art of her own characters on her social media because it’s a horror, which... I didn’t get at all to be honest. Like, what is weird about an artist doing fanart of her own work? “But why would she do that if that is meant to be psychological horror, I don’t know, I don’t get it, let’s ignore that” To be someone who brags about how knowledgeable he is, he sounded EXACTLY as your average teenage anti here on tumblr who literally discovered yesterday that shipping exist. No, the real point of that video is that he “criticizes” the fandom and how wrong fans are to see anything romantic on the manwha, enough that we would ever want to ship the main characters. The concept of whump is completely alien to him. The idea that some survivors use it as coping is not even an option (in fact we are harming survivors of abuse, the usual). The notion that some of us like the disturbing shit BECAUSE it’s disturbing never enters the picture, despite the fact that he made two whole fucking videos talking about queer people enjoying horror. The story is fine, the characters are fine, but we, the fans and especially the shippers? The one who supported Koogi from the start? The ones who spend months and even years theorizing about every single piece on each panels, analyzing colors, expressions, and kept talking about the many instances the abuse is shown and how masterful it was the way of Koogi to do it? We are reduced to nothing but teenage girls “fetishizing gay men” on Tiktok, because he is an outsider who clearly has no experience with transformative fandom AT ALL, doesn’t know what shipping is besides just really liking an already established canon couple and yet still felt the need to act as if he just knows so much better than all of us. The fact that he decided to frame us like that AND literally put himself on a position of superiority is so disgustingly misogynistic I  am appalled that no one else calling him out on it. The comments of that video are nothing but “I read the story, I liked it, but the fandom was just awful, man, nothing but uwuw shippy shit, why would anyone like that, it’s so abusive uwuw”. It really shows that as long you paint a group as teenage girls then you can always dismiss them entirely. If he had attacked the manwha itself, I could calmly refute it, but he grabbed a sample of the fandom from the worst source possible, didn’t even THINK about bringing our perspective, thoughts or feelings into the table for discussion and declared himself the owner of the right way to see this manwha, which, you know, feels pretty fucking insulting.

Heyyy love!! Please hold me back I'm gonna fight your pillow >:( tho I am glad you're better. It's good that the pill and water helped :) cheese and Netflix sounds so good right now, what are you watching?

I really understand that, at least you'll get to celebrate it with more people, and that's already such fun. I also had a thought. When new year's eve finally rolls around, Malaysia will be in 2021 two hours earlier than Kazakhstan. I'll be sure to message you during that time period, 😝😝 aaaah that'd be so cool, dont you think?

Omg that is really cool, so it's like adding oc's in the storyline!!! 😣 Kouki Yoshido and Aito Okada sound cool, I already like their positions 🤚😼 and that requires a lot of planning, I'm sure it'll keep you guys busy (in the best way possible, because it's also fun to work on stuff with your friends) tho noooo, please don't say that, I love hearing you talk about stuff, and something you're passionate about like this? Yes please my heart is MELTING 😣💖 makes me love you all the more (which I didn't think was possible ;-;)

omg then you'd love a dish we have here!! I had it earlier, which is why I asked you that question. it's called "pan mee" and it's like, SPICY noodles, with dry chili, pickles, egg, and minced meat and it's so good 😭😭 (and yes I ate it for lunch! Proud for not skipping today xD) tho yes since it's both spicy, and noodles, I think you'd like it. It's a dish native to the Hakka Chinese, and since my grandma was Hakka, she loved it too. Just googled plov. It looks epic :>

aw that cafe sounds wonderful. I really hope you'll someday find it again, and be able to try the green tea :) tho I totally agree with what you've said about pizzas and quiches 😣😣 they finish wayy too fast and before you know it, the whole pizza is gone :<

ahhh Molly sounds like such an adorable name, you must've had a great time with the parrot. (He sounded like such a darling...) It's a shame :( I'm sorry to hear that >:(((

omg that logo was so pretty! The blues 😍😍😍 Here's ours... It's transparent too, so I hope you can see it xD (Leo stands for "leadership, experience, opportunity" which is lame ik😣 but oh well— we're basically a social service club with a whole lot of protocol)

AHH yes Rowling just makes all potterheads look bad. I loved the series ever since I was really young, and I've read the books multiple times, but the author as a person?? Nope. 🙀 I also had a project presentation earlier, and I'm v sure I screwed it up but uh nevermind 😭😣😣😣😣

That gif nooooo skjdksks too cute. And omg what you smile when you think of me? Combusting rn, that's so sweet I'm flustered

I love you so much :)

—Ari

Helloo!!

Ahah, sunshine, would a hug hold you back?^^" Please dont fight my pillow, its ruined as it is now hehe~ really though, the kids messed it up so bad😩

I'm watching Alice in the Borderland, you might've seen Kuro watching that in his stories too, (I checked the name in google and apparently it's also a manga😳 might read it later) It's pretty cool, I only watched two episodes but it's already awesome. It's a good watch, though theres blood and death and sexual scenes, so be careful~

I didnt even think about that, haha! I'm looking forward to it♡^з^ I'm sure itll be amazing!!

I'm really glad you think so, surprisingly those two are my most treasured children😩 even though I wasn't the one to create them XD still I think they're nice little kids. I'm hoping we finish the team soon so I could show you each of them😭

Ehhh I'm glad to hear that~ Its the only passion I have at the moment, and ... did I say that already??? I think I did. Or??? Either way, its really dear to me, and tbh if Liza wasn't busy we'd probably finish it all a lot quicker:( I feel bad cuz shes got a strict mom, but when we're on call they seem to have a pretty good relationship aside from when they're commanding her, so I guess it's not as bad as I thought. Still, she's busy, and barely finds time and place to draw.

Sorry, I'm gonna carry on about Liza for a little bit, because I'm really proud of how shes becoming lately--- I moved out of town a few years ago, maybe three or something, and to be honest I haven't really expected her to improve so much?? It's still got a few problems, but to be honest, the first time I saw her drawing I almost cried because I felt so proud, as I was the one to actually help her with the basics. I guess that's what being friends with artists does to you, but still I got really emotional when I first saw her improvements XD

Oh my god, SPICY NOODLES?? PICKLES????? EGGS????? MINCED MEAT???? SIGN ME THE HELL UP I AM ON MY WAYYYY I am definitely cooking you some plov and I really hope you like it😭😩

I hope so too!! ~and it especially sucks when you're in a big family, Kuro's been crying about how he got one slice of pizza when the kids ate everything every time💀 makes me wanna adopt him even more tbh JSHDJSJD

He was!! That month was hard because my dog also died, I miss them all so much🥺

OH it looks so good!!! The abbreviation (is that the word😭) is really cool too?? I love the lions hehe, big hairy cats go grrr

True true true, I absolutely can't stress enough how much struggle it is when the author is a bad person. I've been listening to a group, but the leader is an abusive/manipulative prick apparently, so the songs are like a guilty pleasure. I literally cant stop listening to them cuz their songs are the most relatable thing I've ever heard, but yet, it's sad to see that the one who wrote them is not a good person :<

Oh, I'm sure you didnt? I dont know the details though, but even if you did, please dont worry!! I'm sure you got the point through, and that's what's important:) No one can do everything perfectly, so dont stress about it<3

Hehehhe, no way, you're cuter😠❤❤ of course I do, your messages are one of the main sources of serotonin for me😝💞

I love you too!! Hope you're doing good<3

This has been life for the last 10 years. Going through the motions, just trying to get through the day, putting in more effort into being alive and wondering what the point of it all is. When does the struggling end? When does the hurting stop? When can I stop pretending that I'm okay when I'm really miserable?

WARNING: very long and depressing and mentions of blood/self-harm

There's this discord server I run, it's part of a RP I've run for several years now. It started out good, but lately it's being going downhill thanks to me and the thousands of tons of emotional baggage. The usual routine now is I come up with plot points most of them don't like, this upsets me, I manage my emotions terribly and just like that everyone's in a bad mood.

Why's this a big deal? For a start, this server used to be one of the few safe places I had. With things the way they are now, degenerate alcoholism is tightening it's hold on me. But because this is my server, I'm responsible for keeping it going. And that means I'm apparently the only one who can do the job.

There was a time I could do that. Then came several moments that would come to define my life;

The first was an incredibly toxic relationship. Me, the pariah of every school I've ever been to, meets someone that says they were in love with me. While it did end, it's the manner in which it ended that stung; she went back to her vile ex without telling me and literally said "I don't think it'll be a problem, we can still be friends". I've been pushed around and treated like crap all my life and then she does that? I was borderline suicidal ever since. My ability to trust others died too, I've been constantly paranoid that literally everyone I meet is secretly plotting to use me like a disposable tool. And I really mean everyone who's so much as acknowledged me as an actual human.

Secondly, there was the year I lived with my brother. Fresh out of high school with no job, my parents figured the best course was to throw me out of the damn country and get my brother to get me ready for facing the world. He never asked too much from me, it was all rather fair and reasonable. The source of friction came from my inability to communicate in a way that he understood. That led to me not letting him know when I couldn't afford my share of the rent. The communication errors stems from how I "had to be less of a burden" for the family when I was growing up and that meant I was not allowed to feel any negative emotion but let everyone else rant and rage at me. So I've never healthily dealt with anything that's gone wrong with me since I was 13 and my brother was stuck with me. I really did try to be a good roommate, but my best wasn't enough. While I'm not surprised he kicked me out, the way in which he did so gouged out more of me; we were back home for Christmas and that's when he tells me that I'm not coming back with him, even though he said I was before we flew out and he still had most of my stuff. Just added that to another reason to never trust anyone ever again.

Another big part of why I'm a mess are my jobs. Despite my best efforts, I've only ever gotten dead end jobs. I was a good employee, got along great with my co-workers (the waitresses at this restaurant I worked at liked me because instead of flirting with them, I actually did my job) and I had a tendency for bringing snacks to the break room. All I got to show for it was a terrible paycheck and a mangled body. My jobs gave me carpal tunnel syndrome, chronic knee pains and a horrendous spine. But heavy labor jobs are all I can get, so I go to work with these terrible pains and my job is essential so no Quarantine time off to recover

Then there's my parents. My dad has no faith in me and makes that clear as he constantly criticizes everything I do, blames mishaps at work on me, and expects me to be responsible for literally every single thing (my sister once left her passport in the kitchen after she got it for setting up her bank account. Dad said it was my fault for not putting it back). My mum on the other hand did believe in me, but she didn't really know how to talk to me and vice versa. A lot of the times when she got mad there was actual justification for it, but something i recall clearly was when I had absolutely terrible moments. There was the first time I got called in to the principal's office (I was writing a hit list of my class that picked on me the whole year) and the time I couldn't sleep because my nightmares were both realistic and had a very deep resonance. Both times, she didn't even raise her voice. Just hugged me as she asked me to remember that she'll always believe in me.

These factors of my life are the most defining moments, they've shaped me into the god-awful horrendous mess of emotions and paranoia I am today. Biggest reason I'm typing this out is because ive hit my breaking point

This one guy on the server I run has been "calling me out" for awhile and that's been greatly upsetting me. First off, it's shattered any safety I've felt in that server. Secondly, all he's doing is reminding me of how bad I am which I already know

A lot of people kept telling me to go see a therapist, but it took me years to find one I could afford. And only a few sessions in and Quarantine kicks in so I'm not allowed to see her

If anyone's made it this far, I suppose you're wondering why I bothered making this. Quite simply because i dont know what else I can do. Because of how I've never been allowed to properly process issues my whole life, I don't know how to conventionally communicate. Sending pictures, songs and videos at random to try and tell people how I'm doing is really all I know, the other option being pushed too far and losing what little of my cool is left

There are times I feel like no one acknowledges what ive been through as "real pain" just because ive not been to tertiary education, or been physically abused, or the fact it's all in my head. A lot of people don't seem to understand that because it's in my head, it follows me everywhere. A lot of people don't seem to acknowledge that i really am trying. A lot of people keep telling me "just move on"

dont you think i wouldve moved on if i knew how?