#i don't really draw anything sensitive or controversial
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I kinda HC G/ermany as sensitive, rigid and troubled and G/ermania as a bit traditional, abrasive and macho but a very functional adult, a man who can take care of himself and others and doesn't radiate the insecurity and anger that G/ermany can so I think he would just be Very Concerned and look at P/russia, A/ustria and others and be like how did you ruin a perfectly good monkey
but on an aside i think G/ermania would be obsessed at how much they look alike and for his pride and vanity, want to take a lot of selfies with g/ermany and be like look how handsome the boy is, he takes after me and go to as many people as possible for confirmation of the fact that both of them are handsome, strong men
oh man i never share The SCRIPT but fine jsut for you anon
Thank you so much, it always makes me so happy when hetalia fans tell me things like this ;u; we grew up together!! I'll always be back or be here to some extent, I'm old faithful and this fandom is a comfort to me
#hetalia#hws prussia#hws germania#aph prussia#aph germania#aph poland#hws poland#some things i am abandoning#btw tumblr is my I draw what I fucking want spot so#if you're not cool with hetalia#follow me on insta or twit#i may not post more hetalia for a while bc the mood left but it may come back at any time#i don't really draw anything sensitive or controversial#so no worries on that end#knight terrors#doodle dump
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@theneutralmime
You might have to be more specific than that. Most of what we see done with the Force is perfectly normal, like being able to block blaster bolts with a lightsaber and stuff, so I guess I'll try to hit on some of the bigger more controversial uses of the Force and see if these answer your questions. Keep in mind that the Force is generally a pretty SOFT magic system and while there are definitely some guidelines to it, there's a lot you can get away with via "rule of cool" here.
Somehow Palpatine returned: Arguably Palpatine living is actually perfectly within canon given that we have examples of Sith characters living through shit that should've killed them, most obviously Maul (something done by Lucas himself so we can't just blame it all on Disney bringing characters back). But within Disney canon there's also the Grand Inquisitor and Reva who both live through injuries that seem like they should've killed them by utilizing the dark side to sustain them. So Palpatine living is actually perfectly do-able within canon in terms of "how the Force works", regardless of how stupid it was NARRATIVELY and how annoying I find the trend in general.
Luke's Force projection: This doesn't seem like that weird to me, it's definitely NEW and not something we saw anybody else doing in prior films, but it's also not something anyone else would've truly benefited much from and given that it kills Luke almost immediately afterward, it's clearly a VERY last resort option and only really useful as a distraction anyway. It's not that far off of the whole Force Ghost idea to me and sort-of draws on the idea that the Jedi are empaths to some degree, so I'm not too fussed about this. It's fun and I appreciate all the clues about what's happening that are THERE if you look for them but not necessarily super obvious before the reveal.
Leia saving herself from the vacuum of space: I don't dislike this one either, actually. Leia's got a couple of seconds or so in which she can react to a warning from the Force somehow and while we don't see any other Jedi actively fighting in space without a suit or anything, we DO see Plo Koon fighting in space with nothing but his air mask which should still kill him and somehow doesn't, so it's not like Leia surviving this is completely out of the realm of possibility to me. Besides, it's the first super explicit use of the Force Leia got in the films and pissed off a lot of crybaby fanboys who were convinced Leia wasn't Force sensitive, so I'm willing to give it a lot of grace for that alone.
The Force dyad: I actually don't have an issue with the mechanics of the dyad and more have an issue with the way it's utilized in the narrative. Personally, I find it a little silly that some sort of extra special Force connection would exist between two people at THIS point in time and not like... when a literal child of prophecy was alive. If I was going to believe there was a special Force connection between ANYBODY, it would've been Anakin/Obi-Wan (narratively foiled anyway and involves a child of prophecy) or Luke/Leia (twin children of the child of prophecy separated at birth for their own safety). And of course, if it HAD to be in the Sequel trilogy for whatever reason, we all know it should've been Finnrey, for a MULTITUDE of reasons. The other issue I have with the dyad is that they change it from Snoke creating it specifically to mess with Kylo in TLJ to their connection being some sort of special prophecized thing by TROS, so it's not even clear in the narrative what precisely the damn thing even IS or why Rey and Kylo even HAVE IT because the stupid directors and studio execs couldn't agree on it I guess.
Force healing: I know some people have major issues with this one and I get why, but it honestly doesn't bother me that much. TROS explains it as being a byproduct of the dyad anyway, something ONLY these people can do because being connected the way they are allows them to access powers no one else could. It's one of the ways I think the dyad DOES work in the sense that if they're going to give these two characters this special connection then hey fuck it why not use it to let them have a special Force power a lot of fans want to see but that wouldn't really make sense in any other context? I'm obviously NOT a huge fan of "Force healing resurrection via True Love's Kiss" or whatever, but the general concept of Force healing coming from the dyad works fine for me. It's a little heavy handed and on the nose, but... it's fine.
Leia saving Kylo through... "Force whammy"?: This is the big one I hate, this is the one I cannot STAND. If Sith/Dark siders could just be Force whammied into not being evil anymore, WHY DID NOBODY DO THIS TO ANAKIN. Why isn't Obi-Wan trying this from Tatooine, why doesn't Ahsoka try this, why doesn't Yoda or Luke try this? Yes, it kills Leia to do it, but if it whammies Anakin away from being dark and turns him against the Emperor earlier, WHY NOT DO IT. And where would Leia have even LEARNED HOW TO DO THIS, why did she WAIT so long to do it if she knew how this whole time? But the biggest reason I hate this is because it fucks up the entire theme of Star Wars which is CHOICE. If the Sith and Darksiders can just be Force whammied into goodness again, it takes away the CHOICE they need to make to be good. It's SO SO VITALLY IMPORTANT that these characters CHOOSE TO BE GOOD AGAIN if that's the path they're going to go down. It's important that they chose to evil and it's important that they choose to be good again. A Force whammy isn't a fucking choice, it's Leia just... jumpstarting Kylo's brain or whatever. It's just wiping out the things causing him to be evil I guess so that it's just no longer a problem. It's cheating, it's STUPID. And if they'd gone with the idea that Kylo was genuinely being like mind-controlled by Snoke into doing the things he's doing and that none of this WAS his choice and so the Force whammy allows him to finally make his own choices again, that would be one thing, but both TFA and TLJ emphasize that this isn't the case, Kylo is MAKING THESE CHOICES ON HIS OWN and continues to make them no matter how many people offer him another chance to do better. It doesn't matter if it's his father or Rey or Luke, Kylo just KEEPS MAKING THE SAME CHOICES, even after Snoke is dead. A Force whammy should do NOTHING to Kylo because he's not being controlled and it takes away the entire point of Kylo's story being that he CHOSE TO BE EVIL and that he, unlike Anakin, cannot just be saved by love alone. This one stinks, this isn't how the Force works, and it's not how this narrative works.
The only other controversial thing I could think of was how quickly Rey learns to do things, but that's not so much a matter of "how the Force works" because everything she does is pretty basic Force skills like telepathy, telekinesis, and mind tricks.
#star wars#sequel trilogy#the force#sheev palpatine#luke skywalker#leia organa#rey skywalker#anti kylo ren#kylo ren critical#anti kylo#kylo critical#anti reylo#reylo critical#anti ben solo#ben solo critical
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hoooolyly shit cluster b joel smallishbeans mentioned..... i love cluster b hcs (especially bpd) in general (coughcough projection) so i look around regularly and theres barely ANYTHING. all this to say if u find anything interesting then do post about it
Cluster B Joel is so REAL & TRUE!!! I personally headcanon Joel Smallishbeans in Hermitcraft + Life Series to have BPD, Empires Mezalean King Joel to have NPD, and God Joel to have HPD. Not to say they are interchangeable, but each character has those specific struggles.
The main takeaway from this is that C!Joel has a personality disorder for SURES!! I truly do think he is the BPD rep we need. He is such an intimate and fascinating headcanon, especially in the backdrop of his interactions and just general character.
What I really love is that Joel is able to have BPD (or another cluster B) and still make sense as a character without being demonized or reinforcing stigmas. He is very caring and can be callous, but he is also highly self-conscious at the same time. He can come off as conceited, but nobody takes it as an act of malice. When he does something mean purposefully, it reads as very impulsive or sensitive. Lots of reassurance on both the giving and receiving ends... He is just very human and has habits he can't control well (BPD), but he's not treated as a villain, and people love him all the same despite or for those "eccentricities." They don't end their relationship with him, and they don't think he's any less capable than other hermits because it's built on a solid, understood foundation, not face value. They also make fun of those quirks sometimes, but in an effort to point them out, not dehumanise them (I miss you empires...)
It sucks that BPD, NPD, etc. are such controversial headcanons to have or sensitive topics to bring up. and you can't bring up their internal conflict and experiences without someone chiming in about how unsympathetic their condition actually is. But thats why I fucking love the BPD Joel headcanon because he is a great example of what its actually like having this disorder: secure friendships with rocky interactions + a thriving environment (hermitcraft especially) + reactionary but not inherently antagonistic or malicious actions even if its self serving.
I don't think joel is written in the lens of bpd for any of these but: @transfemzedaph has some of my most favourite writing on him if you want some more content anon. Specially this post (mounders), this mezealan kingjoel/rendog fic, and smallishtay being unbearable!!! and then this fic by zedif-y is fucking awesome too (he is so fucking bpd coded here...) and @theminecraftbee (the GOAT) has a whole persona au on him, i dont know persona but the fics are really good anyways, especially this one and this one about martyn + secret life
Love to draw something for it. The only thing I've ever thought of is the permit office doubling as a pharmacy and Joel has to wait 2 business days for his SSRI refill because they only open on the weekends and grian wont make exceptions
#anon i fucking love you#this was so fun thank you for discussing with me#personality disorder joel is something that can be so special actually...#if anyone wants to drop more headcanons in the inbox i would be very up for it#now lets talk about systems osdd and plural hermits (zed + jimmy)#ask#talk tag
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Welcome to the home of Weisse Rose (Main Post)
Hello there!
Over here, you can find a little more about the comic, the writer/artist and some other important info. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask, but I do hold the right not to answer (mostly if you are rude, be nice, c'mon)
✨About the Comic✨
Weisse Rose is a punk (industrial? metal? goth? ???) band formed by five friends, all around 25-30 something years old, still trying to figure out what they want in their lives and how to navigate the world - meanwhile politics is getting increasingly far-right leaning, with extremist groups spitting more and more dangerous hatred and life just becoming even harder because of that.
They'll do everything they can to go against this movement and fight censorship through their music and performances, as well as just trying to make a living and find their own place in this ever changing world.
Turns out, love is really the best weapon against hatred - but how can they figure that out if they don't really know what "love" is like?
(or a bunch of punks punching nazi-fascists with a plot)
✨The Author/Artist✨
I go mostly by Polaris, but you can call me Ka as well!
I wanted to draw a comic for quite a while, I absolutely adore live and breathe music, I always wanted to play in a goth/punk band (alas can't find the music nerd punks near me) and day by day I feel like I can speak less and less about the increasing far-right, censorship, purity politics and etc. that is taking over my country.
Mix it all together, I created Weisse Rose. It's literally my way of coping with so many things that have been happening in my personal life for the past 5 years and a way of ~resisting~ against everything I listed above.
Not the greatest Act of Resistance, but still. I needed to get some things off my chest and, since I'm band-less, I created one in story format to ✨cope✨
✨Who Is This For?✨
Weisse Rose is definitely 18+. I won't self-censor because it would definitely defeat the purpose of all of it.
So, some disclaimers:
All characters ARE flawed - and all of them have what I call a "hellish sin". I don't endorse dangerous/toxic behaviors at all, but they are people at the end of the day. They are human. And humans are broken :)
There will be sex, 'cause you know, people have sex. They'll talk about sex. They'll talk about kinks, taboo, sexuality, orientation, the whole thing. Not anything too explicit though, I suck at ~sexy drawings~
There will be drinking and smoking. Again, don't endorse it, but they are human. Some of them do, some of them don't, and it's ok
There will be controversial topics and some food for thought regarding morals, censorship, how far can things go and challenging one's own set of beliefs. You'll probably be invited to think about your own belief system too, so don't be scared (and again, no need to be a jerk about it)
Always remember: shit can and will hit the fan hahahaha
Oh, and there will be cursing too. But I think you already figured that one out
Most characters have their own trauma and will have to work through it. Again, sensitive topics will arise
As you should've noticed by now, this is an anti-nazi, anti-fascist, anti-far-right, anti-extremist, anti-racist, anti-bigots, anti-TERFs, anti-censorship, anti-all shitty people who think they can bully others into being shitty like they are and then calling you something criminal/slurs because you don't agree with them. If you find yourself offended/called out by this, you're probably one of them and this is definitely not your place. Move along, move along
If you don't like something presented on the comic, if you disagree with anything, if you think I'm a horrible person doing a disservice to humanity because my writing doesn't hold up to your moral values/what you think is the right/responsible way of tackling any of the topics that may arise during the comic, remember: you don't have to drink every cup of tea that is in front of you. You can always close this tab and never read this again, because it definitely is not for you - and that is ok! What is NOT ok is harassing, offending, arguing, canceling and bullying a random person on the internet just because they don't agree with your opinions/morals/values
Like I said before, I hold the right not to answer to rude comments/asks and harassment
I just ask a LOT of media literacy of everyone who reads this and a LOT of interpretation from your part. Don't take everything at face value and don't take things too seriously. I think that's the best advice I have to give you!
If you and I agree with these set of "rules" and disclaimers, be welcome! I hope you enjoy this little passion project of mine and I thank you for spending some of your time here!
Have fun and see you around!
#main post#weisse rose#polaris speaks#about the comic#about the artist#about the author#blog rules#pinned post
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Is drawing a pale skin character with dark skin dubious when I myself am not dark-skinned? I know the answer should be obvious to me but since I have been getting complaints about it I'm questioning? I'm a pale hispanic artist for reference so I don't know if it makes a difference. However, if its something that makes other people uncomfortable, I will stop if its a valid complaint
speaking as someone who is nonblack and light skinned and also draws characters with darker skin tones than they have in canon: i think its fine to do this, and i think that any artist should make an effort to learn to draw features outside of their own ethnicity/race -- you will be stunted as an artist otherwise. HOWEVER: you should always carefully examine your motives for making one character dark skinned versus another before you commit to that choice.
as an overall trend, something i’ve seen in fandom is that nonblack people tend to pick the “aggressive” “wild” “rowdy” “violent” characters to make dark skinned. or maybe the only character they’ve drawn dark skinned also happens to be the villain, or controversial for one reason or another.
while this isn’t necessarily malicious on the artist’s part (maybe just unthinking), it reflects an internal bias about what traits the artist associates with dark skin, and perpetuates racist stereotypes. in this case, even if the artist had good intentions, it would have been better not to try and “diversify” their art in the first place.
(concrete example of the above: i believe in the naruto fandom there was something of a trend for a while where people would make naruto and kiba dark skinned, but not really anyone else. naruto and kiba are both rather wild and rough characters, associated with animal imagery, etc. so choosing only them to make dark-skinned is really suspect.)
basically, these are the things i would consider before making a character dark skinned:
if i make this character dark skinned, is it positive or negative representation? i’ve talked about this above, the basic question to ask yourself is “does making this character dark skinned play into any racist stereotypes?” if it does, you should make sure that this character isn’t the only character you’re making dark skinned, and that other characters you choose won’t play into the stereotype; or, consider not choosing this character at all. i can’t tell you what the right answer is but definitely give some thought to who you’re drawing dark skinned. (ALSO be aware of who gets lighter or darker skin -- for example, if you make both the protagonist and the villain dark skinned, but the villain has a much darker skin tone, that is ... not really good... i would advise you to read some articles about colorism)
am i only trying to make this character dark skinned because i want to look good? examine your motives for doing this in the first place! if you’re only doing it because you want to impress your audience with your diversity and openmindedness or something you should probably take a step back and work on that first.
have i researched how to represent this particular ethnicity/race? it’s good to see representation but if all you do is slap a darker skin tone on a character without changing anything else then its shallow representation at best. this isn’t to say that you have to have an encyclopedic knowledge of every culture on earth so that you can make an informed choice, but for example if you’re going to draw a character as black then you should also look up things like how to draw different kinds of black hair, etc. and above all listen to what people of that race/ethnicity have to say about how to represent them!! there are lots of people on the internet volunteering their time to write these kinds of things so try and do your research! have your friends or beta/sensitivity readers check what you make!
okay i’ve written quite a bit and i know it may seem quite long and overwhelming, but it is definitely doable and the longer you keep at it the more practiced you’ll get. when you make mistakes (and you probably will), just acknowledge your mistake, apologize, and work hard so you’ll do better next time.
there are tons of resources out there to help you too. i’ve been following @writingwithcolor for years now as well, and would definitely recommend keeping up with the blog!
this is just a personal guideline post, so if anyone wants to add onto this or make corrections, please feel free.
#ask#long post /#etc#Anonymous#i am east asian and living in america which is what informs my perspective ..
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The Fantasy Adventure Trope and Autistics.
Currently I am fascinated with narrative framing. The structure of a story and how that gives us the meanings that we draw from it.
What I have noticed is that neurodivergent consciousness isn't taken into consideration very often. In fact many narratives, especially in children's literature and films have a gaslighting affect when it comes to the experiences of neurodivergent children.
Children who are different are portrayed as having an overactive imagination, big emotions or too reserved, shy, afraid, a little adult, low impulse control, not very social, bullied at school and are ignored by adults.
This jumble of traits pretty much fits most neurodivergents. But just enough so that they are endearing and don't seem "too weird".
Unfortunately many children are thought of in the same vein as the biblical prodigal son. Disabilities and difficulties are seen as trials to be fixed, or to fix "us" as if we need some form of chastising.
That our ways are wrong and we choose to bring difficulty on ourselves by not ignoring the things everyone else ignores and doing what everyone else does.
People expect neurodivergent children to be doormats and when they are shoved into that role they naturally become distressed and hide or rebel.
Such children then go on a magic adventure, where they learn about who they are as a person and then return home better off than when they left, able to cope and function better in their world.
That's a very general idea of the plots of most magic adventures. And there's nothing wrong with that, if indeed that is what is occurring.
But too often it is not. Most of these narratives portray the child as in need of a rude awakening, again with the prodigal image, spoiled, lack of discipline, bad attitude, needing to burn off energy, needing confidence, needing change over all.
And how this occurs is through what is known as exposure therapy. A theorized technique where non-biological anxiety is reduced through exposure to the source of the anxiety.
This does not work on neurodivergents nor many with trauma related conditions. It only serves to burn out energy and destroy our nervous systems and peace of mind if we had any to begin with.
The adventure supposedly leads the child to become used to physical stress, work and decision making. It assumes that the child has had no trauma or stress before this. That their difficulties came from being uncooperative with adults. What it comes down to is that it is the child that needs to change, not their world.
And what that means for the neurodivergent child whose experience of the world can not change through a change in attitude, is that they are made to feel flawed, that unlike the "good" children in those stories, they are bad.
Which leads them to hiding their difficulties and masking. And if they are autistic, the feeling of being nonhuman increases significantly.
*On a side note: Fantasy gives neurodivergent traits to majority non-human characters. I really do enjoy fantasy but the characters I related to most were the non-humans or the villain, and both.
There are a lot of non-human characters that should just have been human. When only "make believe" species have your sensitivity and traits, it makes it very hard for people to take you seriously. That's a whole other article though.*
Back to narrative:
Two examples come to mind. The German novel "The Neverending Story" by Michael Ende and and the Japanese film "Spirited Away" by Hayao Miyazaki.
These were big impact stories, I'm only going to cover 3 items from each.
Someone with more energy can dig in deeper. Also if the plots sound really similar to you, children going off into fantasy worlds and receiving help from dragons, it is because Michael Ende loved Japan and was inspired by Japanese folklore.
His second wife is Japanese and his stories became huge in Japan where he toured and gave lectures and was honoured with his own museum shortly before he passed away.
First, The Never Ending Story.
Yes, the story with Bastian, Atreyu, the child-like empress and my personal favourite, Falcor the luck dragon. Who doesn't love the ending of the film version where he scares the shit out of those bullies as he chases them into the dumpster?
There are a lot of very good things in this story, Bastian fits completely the profile of the neurodivergent child,but for those who have read the book there are some glaring details, and Yes, I know all the other interpretations and cultural symbolism going on.
But I'm looking at these from an autistic perspective, being as personal and literal as possible. Because that is how I viewed them and many others will, as a kid and teenager.
1. Despite Bastian's trauma from school and his mom's death it is up to him to fix his emotionally shut down father.
There's a new term for this, emotional incest. Google that. Emotionally Bastian has a lot going on,he and his father should really be seeing a therapist.
This topic can be controversial as it crosses into many cultural expectations of what a family is and the required roles within a family. There are various levels of toxicity that can occur in parent child relationships that result in anger later on in the child. But a parent relying on a child for emotional support is seen as the most benign.
One could say that is traditionally what children are for. From the outside pushing back at this role looks like "modern selfishness" but the inside reality is that the stress placed on a child who needs support and understanding themselves is damaging. When suppressing growth for a parent, the child does not learn to become an emotionally healthy adult.
For many neurodivergents this can look like carer abuse, infantalisation, a parent guilt tripping for all the work they do for the child. Expecting full loyalty to a parent with punishments imposed for perceived infractions.
Demanding all of a child's time. Not allowing friends, becoming jealous of online friends, hobbies, and anything that takes their attention away from the parent.
Given that as adults many disabled neurodivergents rely on their parents for support, these relationships remain complex and complicated.
2. Spending too much time in your inner world makes you less human.
For those not familiar with the second half of this book, for every wish and fantasy Bastian lives out he loses his memory and humanity. WTH?
As someone who has memory and dissociation issues this really freaked me out and made me question whether or not my dissociation, frequent need to retreat and loss of self at times was due to me being a bad, selfish person like the townspeople in the book.
Autistics and other neurodivergents have rich inner worlds that are just as real as what is going on outside them.
They are a part of this world as nature, and it is there that we often find and preserve our sense of self instead of getting lost in a sea of others.
Without them we would lose ourselves. Our humanity should never be equated with how much we outwardly participate.
3. Bastian wasn't capable of being loved before his journey.
When Bastian loses his humanity he nearly kills Atreyu but is stopped. He repents by working hard in a mountain, as a miner where he loses the last of himself, including his name in order to learn selfless love.
Hard stare. Really? Neurodivergents tend to be born selfless it seems, and we have really hard times creating boundaries for ourselves in how much we will give others and are much too open to manipulation because of it.
In my mind Bastian is already doing far too much emotional labour for a child to sustain and shouldn't be required to have to work on top of that for love to be given him.
More messages towards us about being selfless only harms us and makes us feel guilty for not draining ourselves dry for others.
Reiterating again, that Esoterica and symbolism, metaphors etc...are my special interest, I know what the esoteric symbolism of all this is but most children will not and Will take this aspect literally.
Overall none of his physical issues such as Body positivity, the school and bully situation nor any other issues were addressed. His real fear was part of his "overactive imagination" that he had to overcome.
This gaslights many neurological disabilities and experiences with the world, where synesthesia, sensory processing differences and executive Dysfunction are labelled imaginary and trauma around them is exasperated.
Spirited Away
This is the film that inspired this. Because I loved this. Miyazaki truly knows how to capture the soul of nature.
Some back story about anime you truly need to know before we move on.
If you're autistic, and fan of Anno Hideki creator of Evangelion, also a fellow autistic, who also worked with studio Ghibli, then you probably know what he means when he stated that anime and manga are an inherently autistic medium.
Paraphrasing Anno:
Your goal is to reach out and connect with others deeply and emotionally.
The main way this is achieved is having the emotional interior of people reversed, showing every emotion externally.
In anime all the huge feelings, trauma and anxiety that usually go on inside someone are shown on the outside. This makes it really relatable and easy to connect emotionally to the characters.
Big secret though, non-neurodivergents assume a lot of the emotions are exaggerated and the trials and stages the characters go through are metaphors.
If you are neurodivergent, you know they are not. Many things are literally what is happening to us on the inside, how certain things feel.
I'll give examples when I talk about Spirited Away, but if you are further curious, Google Newtypes from the Mobile Suit Gundam saga and Evangelion.
This unique feature and style, of emotions began in the Tokugawa Era as a form of non-violent rebellion against the imposed socially rigid caste system and militarism of the era that saw creativity as superfluous.
Anything different, mysterious, unknown, imaginative and emotional did not meet the new "social norms" of the shogunate era and were rejected.
Artists and writers, the creative castes, started making woodblock prints of fantasy scenes and stories in a style now known as manga.
They kept Non-linear, neurodivergent thought and ways of being alive during that violent time period when many creators were imprisoned.
Ok, with that on to Spirited Away. I'm going to focus on Autistic masking. Masking plays a huge role in this story.
Briefly, the plot is: 10 year old Chihiro, on the way to her new home is spirited away with her parents. Going against her instincts she follows them into what turns out to be the holiday and pleasure district of the gods.
Her parents eat the god's food, turn into pigs and Chihiro must then sell herself to the onsen ( bath house) in order to work off the debts of her parents and save them.
The main characters that I personally relate with in this piece are Haku, the dragon boy/river god, the Faceless Spirit/Noh Face and the witch Zeneba.
So again, 3 things.
1. Masking, Chihiro is The Mask.
Chihiro, the cool, collected,lovely mixture of innocence and maturity is the mask that many autistic women grew up wearing in order to handle trauma. Be strong, brave and stoic for the sake of others. This is one set of strong messages that the film puts out.
In the bridge scene where Haku and Chihiro, under an invisibility spell, cross the bridge to the bathhouse; in order to cross without being seen Chihiro must hold her breath.
That is what Autistic masking literally feels like, the fear of being seen, caught and punished for who we are and the sharp pain of inhaled breath held, for too long, and slow suffocation.
Chihiro's journey will feel familiar to many young autistics who are learning about themselves and the people around them and how they fit into the social structures here. Chihiro is a foreigner and awkwardly trying to stay out of trouble.
There isn't a structure that fits her. She's scolded and hindered for simply existing in that space not meant for her. But she has a task to complete, so she has to figure out a way to make things work.
Being survival, task and mission oriented is a strong point of being Autistic. It's part of our ability to be perseverant.
It can be so strong that your mind creates different ways of being to hide and protect the most sensitive parts of itself, to protect the parts that are different.
Chihiro's final line in the film is:
"Don't worry, I think I can handle it."
She's resolute in her maintaining a stoic mask, which is implied as part of growing up. This message is toxic to Autistics
For a lot of us Autistics this line recalls childhood trauma and masking. The exact phrase we would say to "make things work" for ourselves. Suppressing our needs in order to appear mature and keep our parents and those around us comfortable.
If the bathhouse is supposed to represent life and the social- economic reality, then it's the same reality so many face, forced to change and pretend they fit into society. This message about masking feels at odds with the "re-discovering your true self" message that we get with Haku.
The river dragon spirit, Haku literally represents what masking your true self can look like. Under Yubaba he loses sense of his true nature, physically grows pale and steely eyed. He isn't conscious of the spell Yubaba has placed in him. Masking isn't conscious to a lot of Autistics either.
As an apprentice Haku carries out orders no matter what the danger is to himself. Putting ourselves in harm's way and being abused without us knowing is an outcome of masking. When masking we are in the position of copying others feeling very much like "apprentice non-autistics".
We want to please in order to survive and feel adequate with others. In the scene when Haku is bleeding to death and Yubaba kicks him into the incinerator to be disposed of, that unfortunately is a real emotional outcome to many abusive relationships built through masking. Relationships fail once we burn out.
In order to show his true nature, Haku actively fights inside himself when helping Chihiro. He plays double agent throughout the film. And then has to be saved from himself by Chihiro.
Do I need to be saved from myself?
Do I seem as cold and distant as Haku?
Am I and my masking setting a bad example, a burden to seemingly purer people like Chihiro who haven't quite learned to mask yet?
These questions flitter and linger for a long time. There's a pang of sadness in them.
It's an extremely complicated issue which is further complicated when navigating personal boundaries and what is felt to be personally owed to others, it changes with each situation.
During the train scene when Chihiro is given time to process her predicament you can literally see her mentally forming her mask, the mask that's prepared to take responsibility for others mistakes.
It's the same mask we create to carry the burden of being social and appropriate when no one else is, the mask that self blames and takes up energy. Chihiro takes responsibility for everything.
There is again that message of sacrificing your well being for others that is pushed. She is the only one actively trying to save both her parents and Haku.
Being a heroine doesn't have to be about saving others, or being responsible for them, especially when they are capable of finding their own solutions. There are so many different ways to show love and support.
It isn't about being selfish and just taking care of yourself, for many Autistics and those with multiple disabilities, caring for others in this manner isn't an option but feeling guilty for not doing this is a constant to many.
Who this message is being directed to, needs to change. It should not be directed at vulnerable girls or any children who will worry and have anxiety about themselves.
The reality of many situations where change is needed from someone in authority, parent or any other institution is that it fails to occur. Children or other exploited parties are made responsible for that failure.
If an Autistic fails to fit in, it's never societies fault, the burden of change and guilt is always put on the autistic. And in order to shoulder it, masking occurs. How long is she going to be able to keep up that tough girl facade?
2. Home
In the opening of the film Chihiro is upset at what would honestly be devastating for someone who relies on "their world" to make sense of who they are. Moving, no home to return to. This concept literally is played out with Haku and Noh Face.
Haku's river is destroyed, because of this he loses his identity and falls prey to those who would enslave him. An identity that changes with physical environment is common. Some autistics, like myself, unconsciously build an identity or mask that fits specifically to our environment.
Environment becomes routine along with all of the sensory stimulus and sensitivity, our bodies physically bond to what is comfortable to us. And when that changes, so does a whole persona or personality mask.
When it is an unexpected and forced change, it is traumatizing. In my own experience, I've moved 10 times in a single year at the age of 14. Only 4 years older than Chihiro.
That caused a shutdown that I'm still experiencing the effects of 20 years later. Losing those connections is never a matter of letting go and moving on. They are grieved and must be processed at length.
On the way out of the forest Chihiro's father notices how quiet she is, both parents finally are paying attention to the emotional reality of their child. If they had listened and paid attention to her intuition, warnings and signs of trauma, in the beginning, their predicament would not have occurred. They might not have even moved in the first place.
"A new home and school, it is a bit scary," her father says. To which Chihiro replies that she can now handle it.
Chihiro, suppressing her original concern and the trauma of her experience, now gaslights herself, after she's gone through the process of learning how to perform emotional and mental labour for others through masking as an act of love.
An act of love, that's how mainstream society positions suppressing the needs of the disabled. You're told if you love your parents, your family, don't cause problems, don't cause trouble.
Oh, your having trouble at school, at work, at home? Disabilities are framed as trouble in this manner, the same way one speaks of a misdemeanor or crime. It subtlety shifts feelings of fault and blame onto the disabled. When it comes to Autistics the way we understand our self and our experience of the environment is often blamed as the cause of troubles.
For us the Non-autistic world is assaulting both physically and emotionally. It's a mess of social and psychological mind games and head traps that make us chronically ill. We have to create our own environments to dwell and recover in each night.
For a large proportion of us, we experience time and space Non-linearly. Which means events are not chronological, they don't neatly line up in our minds.
Our experience of the world is like the concepts of Ukiyo and Yugen. Transience, ethereal and profound depth of feeling. Events, people, places float in and out with moments of deep joy and sadness to help us make sense of time.
Miyazaki makes full use of this narrative tradition in his storytelling with vast spaces and characters who on the surface are only loosely associated with each other yet deeply connected.
In our world connection is not linear, nor emotions. Associative thinking leads us to make broad connections in ways that branch out and lead us to discoveries that seem impossible or were unknown to many because the right associations couldn't be made in their linear minds.
Non-linear emotions mean that we don't process events as they happen. It's too much to take in, emotions float in us, incubating until they are ready to be understood. The moment this happens is usually triggered by seemingly unconnected events but to which our minds have made connections to, enough to bring us to full circle. Different mental processing times mean reactions and effects come later, long after expected.
3. Noh face. Portraying other as grotesque.
The best for last.
Noh face as in the Noh theatre, because the mask they wear, delights and troubles in it's accurate yet disturbing qualities. The spirit does not speak except to make pleading utterances. The faceless spirit is sad, mysterious, interesting,terrifying and revolting all at once.
When it is invited into the bathhouse it begins to eat several of the workers and gains the ability to speak and their personality traits.
It is one of the most grotesque and extreme moments in the film. It can make you squirm. But it's also the most literal example of what it can be like to mask.
There is a certain type of masking that occurs for autistics who also experience dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation.
It's the least understood and most vital to understand; this is how the brain involuntarily forces command or auto-pilot, for survival in situations it deems life threatening.
When around other people these autistics physically feel themselves absorb the energy, the personalities, emotions and desires of other people, so much so that it overwhelms their mind/ soul, their identity and sense of who they are.
They can lose track of where they are and what they say and do ; literally becoming "drunk" on other people, acting erratically or hyper with a loss of inhibition.
They may do and say things they wouldn't have before and never would alone, when caught in the energy of the crowd or moment. And often they can't quite remember what occurred until afterwards. It's an uncomfortable and frightening experience to not be in control, to feel like a slave to others wills .
With this type of masking the autistic may be aware of it or might not be, but they are not in control of when it happens or with who. It occurs on a daily basis this absorption of personas and others traits. It's chaotic inside, an ever changing kaleidoscope of thoughts and feelings that are almost never your own.
Physically, after socialising, especially if it's from a party, when this type of autistic is alone, people hangover sets in.
People hangovers, even though I don't drink that's the best definition I have of it, you feel ill enough that you vomit; as you would expect with all of this swirling chaos.
The only way to end it is to sleep it off as you psychologically purge all the fragments of others out. This is another physical sensation as you feel yourself emptying and regaining control. This process can feel like being scrubbed raw, internally.
This masking isn't done out of "loneliness" as is the reason given by the Noh Face. But having no one to understand and going through this alone, does build up and can increase the feelings of desperation to have a stable self.
In the scene when Chihiro gives the Noh face the expectorant, and they vomit just as Haku did, as all the people they consumed left, they returned to their original small form, no longer able to speak.
Chihiro, in that scene is the only one with boundaries, she masks her fear and listens, using her knowledge to give the Noh Face what they really need. She presents a kind, calm and stable force that counters chaos.
It's no wonder the Noh Face wants to absorb her. She's the ultimate mask that it can then have to feel whole and interact with others finally.
But it still would not be their own.
On a side note, it is for this very reason that Noh Face is finally paired with the witch Zaneba, whose line "hmmm, what else can we mess with?" is my favourite. Zaneba sees the structure of the bathhouse and wants to disrupt it.
Due to the chaos occurring inside these type of autistics, instead of trying to order life in a structured or "tidy" way, they impose chaos externally. As long as it is their chaos, this ordered chaos approach is effective in coping with life.
Roles, duties and tasks bring about more structure than superficial order as in the bathhouse. If there's a specific function and purpose that is clear, it makes it easier to not mask, which is why the noh face is able to remain calm.
At the end of the day Zaneba and Noh Face retreat to their quiet home, where function and roles are simple. Personally that's where I'd like to stay, if I were Chihiro I wouldn't have returned.
That's a final point, the "fantasy" world is always made out to be lesser than our shared reality. But is it really? Our inner worlds are what make it possible to survive in the outer world. It's where we process and draw strength to combat the hostility we encounter daily.
They aren't something you abandon in childhood, but a necessary life skill that develops further with age. The fantasy retreat is vital for rest and reclamation of self from society. Not something to be left behind.
So there you have it. My rough autistic sense on what messages an autistic/neurodivergent might take away from popular story narratives and elements in children's fiction and film.
#critical analysis#creative writing#creative#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#fantasy#narative#long reads#long post#essay#neurodivergent#neuroqueer#neurodiversity#synesthaesia#symbolism#spirited away#the neverending story#children#asd#pda#dissociation#autistic acceptance#autistic culture#autistic masking
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