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astral-realities · 17 days

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Hello again! New questions bc im really curious! How much do you all identify with your puppets and their appearances? Are they more of a tool for you or are they significant for your sense of self? I've noticed that your appearances somewhat reflect your personalities, was this a design choice made by your architects or have you been adjusting looks along the way by yourselves? (I know Habitually Stargazing did a little, the dress looks really pretty on you btw!) Im particularily fascinated by the antennas! Im guessing you don't use them much having a hard-wire connection to the rest of your superstructures, right? (perhaps they would be more practical when communicating with visitors in your chambers? I don't know..) Im seeing a sort of analogy between animal motifs in ancient art and masks and those retro-looking antenna resembling those used with older technology, though I might be wrong.. I'd be thrilled to know whether these hold any cultural / traditional signifincance among machines alike!

Also I'd love to know more about your serial numbers! What do they mean, and do you more identify with them or with your names?

Finally, Flowers - a creature for you

It's an umbrella slug, hiding under it's umbrella!

Hope you all have a wonderfull day, looking forward to hear from you!

SDA: Oh! While the exact details might vary from case to case, I would say that it's a bit of both - the puppet is a tool tied to an iterator's sense of self.

SDA: The puppet is only a small part of yourself, but it represents you as a whole. You .. used it to communicate with your citizens, you use it to communicate with your peers. Others start to see *you* in this form. The more you use it, the more you begin to identify with it. With time, its image truly becomes yours.

SDA: From our creators' perspective, it might have been a matter of needing an interface to interact with us. It seemed to be more natural to speak with something that you can actually look in the face.

SDA: Another important fact is that the puppet is by far the most expressive part of our bodies. Our biological elements can be somewhat controlled by our programming, but it cannot fully override them - there will always be a living, sentient being deep below.

SDA: One that has its own emotions, preferences, opinions; one that wants to express itself. The puppet serves as an outlet for that. It can gesticulate, it allows you to convey how you feel in a way that's understandable to most.

TFB: It would've probably been easier for them if we couldn't think for ourselves. Just tell us what to do and we do it until the end of time, no questions asked.

TFB: Instead, they chose to fully depend on something with an *attitude*! Some really tried their best to keep good relations with their iterator, afraid of putting it in a bad mood...

SDA: Yes, I suppose...

SDA: Some of us might pay greater attention to the puppet's appearance, adjusting it to our own tastes, mostly with clothes and accessories. Fashion was important in our creators' culture, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for an iterator to request a new robe or a necklace. Some took matters into their own hands.

SDA: ... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on like this.

BROS: Don't you dare, it's always nice hearing you so passionate about something~

BROS: About the antennae - you're right, they're not as powerful as the equipment in the rest of the structure! They're decent for close-range stuff, and they're what you'd resort to in case of an emergency.

BROS: Like, somehow losing access to the rest of your body. The puppet can't do much on its own, but thanks to these, it would be able to communicate with anything near it.

BROS: Aaand they were mostly another way for the architect to visualize whatever concept they had for a puppet.

HS: I'm almost offended by the "retro" remark. As far as I'm concerned, these are state-of-the-art.

BROS: Sure, sure~

BROS: Finally, as for the model numbers. They represent the architect's name, the cycle when the project was officially completed, and the name of the project at that time, like this:

BROS: Nobody really identifies with this, it's mostly used in paperwork - maybe some database stuff. Even if two iterators were given the same name, it's extremely unlikely they also had the same creator *and* creation date, so it allows for telling us apart that way.

HS: The name that appears in your model number isn't truly binding either. Such as...

TFB: Come on now, don't put them on the spot like that.

SDA: ...

SDA: It's fine...

SDA: Originally, I was called "Visions of Serenity", you'll see me in databases as GTIAOT672005VOS.

SDA: I was renamed shortly after, due to some... rather unfortunate coincidence.

SDA: It really doesn't matter now.

---

TFB: Also, thank you so much!! I don't get to see many marine species around these parts, this is lovely!

HS: (...and thank you...)

#UMBRACULUM UMBRACULUM SWEEEP 403-418 i love your questions so much . 10/10 thank you so much #also. the drawing quality's gonna drop on days when i Want To Answer but have no energy to draw properly!! sorry :^)#a: sda #a: bros #a: hs #a: tfb #rain world oc

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realkavehgf · 2 months

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♡ I must confess...

a/n: I said I was gonna take a break but since I impulsively made this self-indulgent fic, I might as well share my cringe to the world!! AHAHA I finished and proofread at 3am so you might see a few errors here and there. This is a late Valentine's fic! I was supposed to finish this on the day itself but school...

!!! I am not a writer, I mainly draw artworks, so this isn't as good as the others out there, but enjoy the product of my lil brain!

content: 1.3+k words, reader pov focused, reader confesses, reader is an absolute simp for kaveh(cough), a part that implies that reader draws, giving kaveh cookies, kaveh is a pretty popular guy, fluff, just fluff. not sure if it's ooc but it's not that bad if it is! friends to lovers, kavehxgn!reader, modern HS au! Self-indulgent, but it's pretty much general so dw!

Fic under the cut! (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

After school, holding a small box of cookies and a Valentine's card behind your back, you prepped yourself. Today was the day. Today, you were going to tell your best friend that you liked him— that you really, really liked him.

Waiting outside in the courtyard, standing near the bench that you two would usually sit and hang out on, you waited to see that pretty boy blond that made your heart skip a beat for every little thing he did with you... Probably excluding the nagging he would do every so often when he was worried about you.

After a while, he called out to you, "I'm here! Sorry for the wait!" momentarily rendering you frozen in place. His bright voice ringing out, slightly out of breath.

Kaveh sat beside you with a smile, arms full of chocolatey sweets. "There were some people who gave me a few things on the way here... And I couldn't really refuse them, you know." He tittered awkwardly.

It was to be expected for someone like him to receive confessions, treats, and whatnot during this special day — he was kind, considerate... and, you could say that he was well liked by those who knew him.

He placed the chocolates and letters on the bench carefully, and... You were going to add to the amount of treats he was going to have to finish. Hesitance took root, you gulped. Palms starting to get sweaty as your heart pounded in your chest, and all of that... Just because he was there.

"Kaveh..." You muttered, before clearing your throat, hands firmly behind your back as you faced him, "I have something to tell you."

He blinked, caught off guard. "Oh? Um, what is it...?" obvious that he was drawing conclusions in his mind — his cheeks were growing redder and redder by the second. As always, being an open book whenever he was with you.

Though, from that reaction of his... Could it be?

"You probably already know what I was going to tell you..." you grumbled under your breath, turning your head to look at something else, your face burning from embarrassment.

"No, no..." He spoke up, voice softening, "Tell me."

This guy is going to cause you a heart attack one of these days, damn it! Speaking oh-so gently... You could only imagine his expression as he watched you squirm about, eyes glued on the nearby trash bins trying to calm down.

"Alright, I..." You started, "I-" you stuttered, "I...!" oh, you just couldn't!

You heard him come a little bit closer, making your heart drop to your stomach. "Look at me." He spoke firmly, yet tenderly.

Slowly, you turned to face him, finding a visage that reflected your own — a blushing mess. "That- that's better..." He whispered, giving you a bashful little smile.

You let out a soft whimper as you two locked eyes... Oh that ruby gaze you could just get lost in— no, no, damn it. Damn it all! Why is he like this?!

"Okay, okay..." You took a deep breath, closing your eyes, showing him the gifts you had prepared. "I... like you." Voice growing weaker with each word that you let out.

And there it was — the feelings you held in for months on end, out of the bag.

A few moments of silence ensued, the beating of your heart growing louder, almost deafening in your ears—

Until you felt a pair of arms wrapping around you, squeezing you tight. Not even taking the gifts first, huh....

He giggled, sighing of relief, refusing to show you his face. "I hope you're sure about that..." He muttered, letting his warmth envelop you, hiding his face from you. Your legs trembling from the sensation.

"Uh- mhm, I'm sure." You reassured him, unable to return the fluffy embrace as, well, you were holding the box of cookies and card in both your hands.

He pulled back slightly, glancing at the things you made him, "Oh, right! Sorry, let me take these real quick." he said, taking the sweets and the card from your grasps.

Checking the card's contents, he chuckled, "'For you'... and, is this supposed to be me?" He asked, showing you the card that you made for him — and yes, that was him in all his doodled glory. It wasn't as good as his own silly scribbles, but that unwavering smile of his indicated that he didn't care, and he absolutely loved it.

He placed your gifts on the bench, separated from the rest that he received earlier. "Ahem," he cleared his throat. His hand on his face as he looked at you.

Silence... Before he'd walk back towards you, wrapping you with his arms once more. "Thank you... I... really like you too." He admitted awkwardly, hushed. "So, I'm... very happy." He continued, hearing his voice tremble ever so slightly.

You returned his hug with your own, squeezing him back. The butterflies in your stomach fluttering about rapidly — you couldn't help but to lean on him.

"I'm happy too..." You whispered back, basking in his affection, catching a whiff of his cologne mixed with the scent of the sunny day that went by... It tickled your nose in a good way.

...

"... You better not be crying," you quipped, as he didn't speak after a few seconds.

He scoffed, "Er- hmph, no I'm not." his voice coming out nasally, oh.

Wait, was he actually crying?!

You pulled away, catching a glimpse of his flushed face, tears of joy, you hoped, trickling down his cheeks.

"Hey, don't look at me—!" He managed to say with a chuckle, before getting cut off by you cupping his cheeks, and wiping his tears with your thumbs, causing him to look at you, wide-eyed.

"No, no, I'm gonna stare, and stare real hard." You teased, giving him a bright smile. His cheeks heating up even more from your words. "You're so dramatic sometimes—" You continued to joke, but now was his turn to catch you off guard.

He took one of your hands, and pressed a soft kiss on your knuckles, his lips lingering a little too long. Smiling charmingly afterwards despite him tearing up just a second ago.

You stared at him, flabbergasted, oh you definitely kept your word... He bested you yet again...! You grumbled, the thumping in your chest growing louder in your ears, but you couldn't look away from him.

This... is so unfair!!

"You were saying?" He let out a light laugh, "So cute..." he remarked, causing shivers to run up your spine.

"Damn it..." You pouted, pulling your hands away, and taking a few steps back. "That was so uncalled for..." you grumbled.

He merely laughed, "You've done worse, you know! I'm sorry!" before leading you to take a seat on the bench, next to the pile of sweets.

"Alright... Why don't we eat yours first?" He offered, taking the box you gave to him in his hand, looking at you for your approval.

Recovering from what just happened, you cleared your throat, "Sure, sure... I don't mind." flashing him a smile.

He nodded, opening the tin box of cookies, he beamed, "These look delicious..." he muttered, his eyes twinkling at the confections sitting on his lap.

He reached out his hand to you, offering you the first bite. Making your heart skip a beat — it wasn't the first time he offered you food, but when it's this setting...

"No, you eat it first!" You waved your hands dismissively, but stubborn as he was, he continued to offer it to you. Not taking no as an answer.

But to be fair, if you continued to resist, it'd turn into a back and forth of insisting the other should eat the biscuit first... So you accepted it, and took a bite.

"Mm." Unsurprisingly, it was good. You picked it out yourself, after all!

Seeing your reaction, Kaveh picked up a cookie as well, taking a bite. Hearing a delighted hum leave his lips, you let out a sigh of relief that you weren't aware you were holding.

You continued to look at him as he savored your gift with a smile.

Everything has calmed down, and both of you were aware about each other's feelings now. But whatever that would come next would be for tomorrow, because right now, both of you would savor this memorable moment — the taste of the sweetness of cookies, each other's company...

... And the brokenhearted admirers of Kaveh watching from afar.

#❥ | shindewriting #kaveh x y/n #kaveh x reader #genshin kaveh #genshin fluff #kaveh fluff #astronetwrk #wow holy shit late valentine's fic!!!!

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pandorasword · 1 year

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Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

Chaeri's masterlist

❒ Reading order: 1. Chaeri's recovery | 2. Calvin Klein with Jk | 3. HS concert

❒ genre: Angst

❒ words: 2.5k+

❒ summary: In which Harry Styles' post-concert doesn't go as planned for Chaeri, as Jungkook has something to tell her

❒ warnings: swearing; heated argument;

❒ pairing: Jungkook x 8thmember!OC

❒ notes: I'd have much to say about what I wrote. First of all, it was very difficult. Chaeri has this very annoying way about her in which she uses anger to hide other emotions, and I did not find it easy to write. Usually I don't expose myself much, for those who read my blog know that I didn't plan yet an ending of this story, but I think Jungkook is not in the wrong this time. Chaeri has sent him some unclear signals, plus she has completely distanced herself from him. In one way I understand his point of view.

Credits to media owners!

March 20, 2023

Chaeri bubbled with joy as she left the concert arena, greeting fans on her way out.

Concerts always put her in a cheerful mood, especially when it was Harry Styles performing, and having the chance to meet him backstage had made it an even better experience. For two hours, she felt like a normal friend hanging out with Yoongi and Namjoon rather than a celebrity herself.

When the concert paused halfway, Taehyung, who was nearby with Jungkook and a friend of theirs, asked her to tag along for a bite after the show. She accepted the offer, knowing that Yoongi and Namjoon would head home straight away once it was all over.

Though it didn't take her long to catch up with the two guys, she had to wait for the personnel managing the event to have most of the onlookers removed and organized so that all the celebrities could leave without being mobbed.

Chaeri waved to both of them as she drew near, her face aching from the long smile it had been wearing since the night started. "It was stunning" she exclaimed.

Wrapping Taehyung in an all-encompassing hug, she beamed with happiness "Harry was so nice to agree to take a picture only with me! I can't believe it's already finished"

She diverted her attention from Taehyung to give Jungkook a warm welcome too.

Harry Styles had put her in such a great mood, she wasn't going to let the bad vibes from their last encounter while on the set of the Calvin Klein photoshoot ruin her night.

So, she gave him a hug, albeit briefer than Taehyung, and then touched his arm gently, asking "Did you have a good time?"

Jungkook nodded, his voice muffled by the mask he had not yet taken off his face. "Yes," he said "there's not many who can put on a show quite like Harry Styles"

Chaeri gave his arm an affectionate pat in reply to his comment. "Well said!"

"Did she just turned in fangirl mode?" Taehyung teased her playfully, and she stuck out her tongue in response.

"Aren't we all a bit of a fangirl for him?"

Once they were in the car and out of sight, Tae maneuvered himself from the backseat to the front, taking care to not bump into them with his long legs. He then took a seat next to the driver

"What the hell are you doing?" Chaeri inquired, avoiding the near-miss of a kick that the boy almost gave her as he scrambled to get into the front seat

Taehyung leaned back in his chair and breathed a sigh of relief, pleased with himself for achieving the task. He spun around to face the two people he had just brought together. "I'm giving you both the chance to clear the air."

"What? There's nothing to talk about"

"Stop it," Taehyung replied sternly to her. "Every time we're all together, it's incredibly awkward because of you two. I don't know how you avoided it tonight. This has to end. Make peace."

With those words, he shut the divider between the back and front seats of the car, providing them with some privacy.

Chaeri had her mouth slightly open in amazement and was beginning to get nervous. She also knew that the broken rapport between her and Jungkook was a source of stress for the whole group, yet was that really the night and was that really the way to discuss it?

Jungkook shifted in his seat, his gaze fixed on Chaeri. "I'm sorry," he said "Don't take it out on him, I was the one who asked him to tell you to come in the car with us and give us some privacy. I needed to talk to you"

"I really can't believe you two pulled me into this little game"

Taehyung's words echoed through the divider, making Chaeri jump. "No one is playing games," he had his gaze focused on her reflected eyes in the driving mirror "You two have been avoiding each other for weeks, and it's not healthy for the group dynamic. Clear the air, talk it out."

She tapped her knuckles against the divider and asked, "Don't you remember you said we'd have some privacy?"

"My apologies," he replied. The boy in the front seat had now tucked his head down, out of sight. He was trying to be invisible.

Jungkook glanced down at his hands, where an array of silver rings glinted in the light. His fingers nervously twisted them around and around as he spoke, his gaze fixated on the shining metal "Before anything else," he began, "I want to apologize for what happened last time. I should have respected your boundaries... But I don't regret saying what I said."

A heavy silence filled the air as she stared at him, her lips parting slightly before closing again. After a long pause, she finally muttered "Jungkook, please. Let's not talk about this again”

The car had been driving for several minutes, thus taking away any hope of escape from that conversation she did not want to face. She made a mental note to kill Taehyung once that day was over.

"No,I refuse to delay this conversation any longer”

Well, from better to better.

Crossing her arms, she turned away from him, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm not going to hear what you have to say” she had to warm her voice first, to make it come out as if she didn't care what he had to say to her

Jungkook's emotions were now clear on his face: lips slightly pursed, eyes narrowed, and a jaw clenched tight in an effort to stay composed.

Damn stubborn girl

It typically took a lot to shake him up, anger or irritate him in any way. He was used to having his patience pushed by disrespectful people, and he considered himself quite logical and thoughtful. But it took all the willpower in him to utter the right words without starting an argument; that was the goal, after all - discussing without fighting.

He paused and took in a breath before continuing "Remember when you promised that you'd always hear me out? Has that changed too since then? What is left of us? I'm not talking about our..relationship. But of who we were for each other before all this”

Chaeri's stomach was in knots. She had been dreading this conversation for weeks and didn't want it to take place with an audience. Taehyung must have sensed her apprehension, as he cranked up the volume of the car radio. A song by Harry Styles came on - what a strange coincidence.

"I remember," The memory of them sitting on the steps of the old BigHit's building, much less tall than now- or at least Jungkook -, came vividly to her mind, along with the promise they had made each other to always remain close. It felt like a lifetime had gone by since then. ”But things have changed. We can't go back to the way things were before” Uttering those words felt like an inferno in her throat. She never wanted to say them aloud, yet there they were, hanging heavily in the air.

Jungkook felt something break inside his mind at the sound of those words, wishing he had been able to keep his composure and not let his anger get the better of him.

"You don't even try! You avoid me like a plague! You were already distancing yourself from me before the accident, and now it's worse. When we were living together in the dorms while you were healing, though, it was almost like things were back to normal; like my Chaeri had returned. At least my friend"

"Why won't you understand that we can never be fucking friends!” Her voice grew louder than she anticipated. It was her fury that prevented her from forming the words in her head before they came out of her mouth.

Jungkook's jaw dropped as his eyes widened in shock. He felt the tell-tale thumping of an accelerated pulse against his ribs, as if it was trying to escape his chest

"I will always care about you, no matter what happens. You'll always be family to me, but I can't be friends with you anymore - that's all there is to it”

Chaeri's voice was firm and unwavering but her eyes are were filled with sadness and her lips quivered slightly as she spoke. Her hands clasped together tightly in her lap, her knuckles white from the strain.

"That's all there is to it!? Are you fucking serious?"

Jungkook's voice had risen, the intensity of his emotions coloring his words.

They were both going too far with their words, causing pain to one another.

Taehyung quickly turned down the volume of the radio, sensing the tension in the car. He had hoped for a peaceful resolution, but it seemed like things were only escalating.

"Listen," he interjected, trying to diffuse the situation. "I think it's best if we all calm down. Emotions are running high right now, and we're not going to get anywhere like this."

Chaeri ignored him completely but leaned over to inform the driver to stop because she wanted to get out

"Is that how you want to solve the problem? By getting out of the car?” Jungkook was incredulous

"I don't want to hear from any of you anymore" Chaeri spat back

"We're on the highway Chaeri, where the fuck do you think you're getting off"

"At a goddamn truck stop, can I pee in peace for fuck's sake?"

Jungkook observed as she opened the vehicle's door and stepped onto the shoulder of the highway once the car had come to a halt. Her form was tiny and vulnerable in the darkness, and he felt an overwhelming urge to go after her.

"I'm gonna go talk to her" he said to Taehyung, who nodded in agreement and stopped the driver who was about to get out of the car to follow both of them

"Chaeri! Just stop for a second”

Chaeri’s small frame and her strides cast a determined silhouette in the night. Her blond hair swished around her shoulders and fluttered in the wind as she continued walking, unfazed by Jungkook's pleas.

"No, you know what I'm going to do? I'll head into that store, use the restroom, and then enjoy the dinner you said you'd buy me - by myself."

"Why are you so stubborn?!" His voice rose in frustration

Chaeri stopped mid-stride and spun around, her face flushing bright red with anger. She glowered at him, "You used to appreciate my stubbornness!"

Jungkook’s eyes were focused yet there was a hint of exhaustion around the edges. The light from the passing cars illuminated the determination on his face "I still do," he said. "But not when it's at the expense of us"

She drew closer to him, her heart pounding in her chest. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, “Us? You say it as if we were still an 'us'”

Was she really taking out on him all the bitterness she felt toward her own agency for what it had put her through? As soon as the fog of her fury cleared, she knew she'd regret how she was treating him. But in that moment, it was still overshadowed by her blazing anger.

"And you say this as if it was up to me!" Jungkook's voice was rising with frustration, he cast a furtive glance around the empty parking lot of the truck stop, double-checking that no one was within earshot. "I could not decide anything about this relationship. I know I said that we had to move on, I remember the night I said that.. But I ... I can't stand it. I tried, but I can't"

Jungkook took a step closer to her, his hands outstretched as if to pull her into an embrace. "I don't want to move on," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to let go of what we had"

Chaeri backed away, her eyes fixed on the tips of her shoes as she hugged herself tightly to keep out the chill and contain what she was feeling; whether it be was positive or negative

"Whenever we're together, it seems to bring out the worst in us"

The umpteenth realization that she gave the worst of herself every time she was with him made her sick.

BigHit had been their downfall since they were first caught together - one continuous downward spiral until the crash in 2022.

"It's like gasoline and fire; we bring out the worst in each other" She repeated at the end.

Jungkook took a step back, his hands falling to his sides. He understood what Chaeri was saying; since the break up they had been like a time bomb when they were together, ready to go off at any moment.

"It was not our fault"

"I know, but it still happened. It didn't...work. We tried. We thought we could do it but in the end they won” She tried her best to keep her voice emotionless

"If I didn't know you-if I didn't know you, your indifference would make me think you never loved me!" Jungkook his voice hoarse with emotion

"Don't you dare say anything like that!" Chaeri's voice wavered, and she fought back tears. She took a step closer to him, looking up into his eyes "You know that's not true! "

"I don't understand why you're so determined to push me away" Jungkook said, his voice shaking. "I'll get over it if you.. love someone else now, but I cannot bear the thought of losing you as someone in my life" Those words on the tongue tasted like poison.

"We cannot be friends. Not the way we have been" she said, her gaze lowered to the ground, understanding this was the best decision for both of them.

"Why not!?"

"Because our love consumed me! Because every fucking time I see you, it feels like I'm stuck in the past. Every time I'm with you, you fucking idiot, I question myself about-" she couldn't dare to finish the sentence.

The tears that streamed down her face as she spoke were like a raging river, unstoppable. Her hands trembled and her voice was ragged, yet full of passion and emotion. He watched her with remorse, knowing he shared in the blame for the way things had disintegrated around them. She continued to scream out her frustrations, her words echoing off in the empty park

She sniffled and wiped her wet cheeks with one hand "The time spent together while I was recovering from my injury made me realize that it's best for us to keep some distance"

"Is it better because you don't have to deal with your feelings that way?"

Their faces were suddenly illuminated by dazzling lights, causing them to look as white as ghosts. Abruptly, they both turned in the same direction and noticed a pair of paparazzi - the distance too far to hear their conversation luckily -

"Fuck.."

taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @ycuvi | @bts-dream

#bts 8th member #bts female addition #jungkook x reader #jungkook drabbles #jungkook fanfiction #bts female member #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jungkook images #jungkook scenarios #kpop female member #kpop female addition #kpop female oc #bts x reader #bts addition #bts eighth member

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deejayers · 22 days

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have I told yall that I ended up with a new dog???

she fell into my lap almost a year ago now, literally one week after euthanizing Marcus (white and black pitty mix) and originally went home with one of my coworkers because I wanted to wait a while before I took on another dog. my parents called me a week after Marcus to ask me if I knew anyone (or myself) who was interested in a 3yo spayed female GSD who was simply fantastic but had been rehomed ~4 or 5 times at that point and her current fosters/owners couldn't keep her any longer. one of my coworkers took her home in the hopes of keeping her if they could bond/things worked out with her life (elderly mom with dementia, other health issues) but after about a month decided she wasn't the right home for her, so my husband and I took her on with intent to find her a better fitting home because at that point we knew she was pretty freakin great.

we had her for one week before we decided she needed us as much as we apparently needed her (or I needed her, at least). she bonded very tightly to me almost immediately, got along great with our cats, and was picking up what we wanted from her at astronomical speed. she's so motivated by praise that it was a breeze to train her what we wanted her to know immediately (ie: recall, off switch, how to act around horses, etc)

ugh I cannot get over how freakin pretty she is, especially in motion. her way of moving is freakin gorgeous to me. very esthetically pleasing.

she is phenomenal and I love her so freaking much. I am so glad she came into our lives when she did. she is 10000000% my shadow and always wants to be near me. she loves my husband more than anyone else (other than me, I'm definitely her #1 lol) but warms up to new people pretty quickly when one of hs introduce her. she is so freakin silly!! she has so much personality. my husband says she is me as a dog and honestly I can't argue it lmao

anywhoo I love my girl Ava and wanted to tell yall about her <3<3<3<3

#alyssa talks #ava the gsd #german shepherd #gsd #i just love her silly little face so much #she regularly triggers my cute aggression

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theghostbunnie · 1 year

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do u have any headcannons on max's mom

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR QUESTIONS LIKE THESE OMGLMGOMGOMGSCHJHHHHHHHH OK SO

She practically ran away from home and came to the US at 17, Started going by the name Lacy. What her own parents/home life were like, what her name originally was, she was reluctant to speak of and by the time Max was born she just refuses to his face to tell him and gets defensive when asked.

She had a highschool romance but he(Devon) was socially a loser. Lacy so to speak kept it under wraps because of that, to not be seen with him. She genuinely loved him but he didn't work for how she wanted to be perceived. She got pregnant accidentally basically right out of HS and it wasn't what she wanted, atleast not now, but they talked it out and decided they could make it work, and it did for awhile, until it didn't. Where she lived, worked, and was with, was nothing like how she imagined she wanted it to be like.

She left them both and a few years later met a different man, (Arjun) they started dating. (This isn't all going to be about her love life I swear she's got more to her then that I'm just getting backstory out of the way)

Lacy has this problem where she HAS to be needed. Important to people. Revered by a community and a home that's dependent on her to function. Arjun subtly starts picking up she might not be?? A good person?? but HE has this problem where he hates himself, but doesn't want to be ALONE with himself. He has a history of dragging other people down, but this time, he's actually considering just leaving.

Lacy is smart enough to figure that out and [TW, breach of intimate consent] messes with protection to intentionally baby trap him.

After Max is born she wants to name him Maxwell but Arjun wants to name him Makali. Alot of conflict between them is Lacy's internalized racism and she just lets him put that name on the birth certificate to shut him up, and keeps calling him Maxwell.

After Max starts going to camp he decides he's not going to use either and just go by Max.

Lacy works an office job she pours alot of her effort into and has worked herself up to a sales manager position or something similar. Affording them a middle class home rental near/practically In the city era. (Decent size, neighbor's place built in joint. V Small backyard.) She's constantly aiming higher and loves to enjoy upper class luxuries wherever she can. In home decor, fashions, ect. Climbing both the social and finical ladder with almost this desperation but only slow progress.

She's this perfectionist, their small yard has a tiny Rose bush she trims every single thorn off of herself because she loves the look of them but hates getting pricked even if the gloves don't make it hurt. (Probably a metaphor in there somewhere. You decide)

She's incredibly talented in origami and piano, but dropped origami entirely after too many crumbled up or ripped papers.

She put Max through tapdancing, violin, and taught him piano herself. He's not the best in any group and never gets spotlight during any recitals.

Her abuse towards Max- it's /rarely/ ever physical. It's way more mental, and verbal. She convinced him from a very early age he needs her to live. She can leave him but he can't leave her he should be thankful she hasn't. He needs to work harder to not waste how far she's gotten already. He needs to outwardly show people the best version of himself he can even if it's a lie. Ect ect ect. I'll go more in depth on all that if asked.

His father is more complicit in just letting this all happen, it's less than what he went through as a kid and believes sometimes you just get stuck with the short end of the stick. They're still in this codependent relationship. She needs someone reliant on her, despite resenting him for how much so he is. He somewhat hates her as a person now sometimes, but can't stand the thought of not having her company to keep him from being lonely. Arjun neglects Max and enables his mother's abuse by not doing anything, he himself is not a victim of it so he's fully well in a position to help, he just doesn't to not rock the boat. They fight mutually. They're both bad to and for each other.

When Max was younger she gave him Mr HoneyNuts. Despite wanting a girl originally, it didn't matter after he was born, she was incredibly affectionate towards Max a few times he can recall while being that young.

He holds onto Mr.HoneyNuts with the belief subconsciously she still holds that affection towards him. She's just too busy or too stressed to show it as often now.

Lacy with her perfectionist nature and intense goals always in mind, she's this master schemer, always knowing the exact words to say What to do. Yet this explosive anger she actually manages to hide around others. It's where Max gets it from, but Max's version is rough around the edges.

In some AUs she's prepared to mold him for as many years as it takes, in others, she's ready to give up. He's been making scenes, uncooperative, failing academically, not trying at anything.

When her life is heading isn't where she imagined it to be.

She'll leave both of them.

She's smart, can't leave any loose ends to ruin any reputation she tries to build somewhere else, so if it need be she could get rid of Max with no way of him ever finding her.

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boyfhee · 10 months

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ooo wait what about rating likelihoods using the otp prompt generator and your moots with their bias

mimi ure a genius

@maiverie : 104266/10 why am i crying IM IMAGINING THEM GOING TO A PET CAFE AND ALL THE KITTENS/PUPPIES JSUT ASSEMBLE AROUND HEE AS THEY SIT DOWN??? like she goes to place their order and then it's heeseung who's busy playing with them it's so cute until it's time to leave and mai has to pick the kittens/pups one by one and put them aside to free him 😭😭😭😭 they keep running back to him HEAD IN MY HANDS IM DISSOCIATING 😭😭

@flwrshee : 10/10 ITS GIVING HIGHSCHOOL TALENT COMPETITION? like imagine ri being the new student and having no one to pair up with yet and then heeseung approaches her, asking if she wants to pair up with me (ri-cael band disbanding in my head) I SEE HIM LOOKING AT HER WITH HEART EYES AS SHE PLAYS WTV INSTRUMENT SHE'S GOOD AT. like the perfect romance here idk my otp fr THEIR PERFORMANCE IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE LIKE EVERYONE SAW THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HER WHEN SHE WAS THANKING PPL AROUND AFTER WINNING ohhh god me when😂

@whoschr : 56325/10 hear me out. both chae and hee having a crush on each other and they go out with their friends IT'S SNOWING OFC WE NEED TO SET THE ATMOSPHERE and then they sit on the bench when heeseung sees that she's shivering a bit??? chae i know u left ur scarf at home deliberately. ANYWAY SO SHE JOKINGLY SAYS THAT THEY SHOULD SHARE HIS SCARF BUT MY GUY, HE'S SERIOUS AND SCOOTS CLOSER TO HER AND PUTS HIS SCARF AROUND BOTH OF THEM im on the floor crying . like imagine both of them blushing and all JUST CONFESS ALR

@hoonvrs : 10/10 SAINTHOON CORE!!!!! thought they both were being discreet and subtle with all those glances and winks WE SAW. like u do not expect us to not notice the way sunghoon deliberately drops his pen during class as an excuse to mutter a soft and quiet 'i love you' to saint who's sitting in front of him GOD THE PEAK OF HS ROMANCE???? thought no one was there when they were kissing in class after school but me and ri we SAW U BOTH . the walk of confidence they do when they announce their relationship to the friend group on graduation and everyone is like . we Know 🥸 EVERYONE POINT AT LAUGH AT THE LOSER COUPLE i love them

@haerinz : 9/10 one point off bc idk how someone messes up a kiss so bad that they have bruises BUT THIS IS SO CUTE LIEK IT ALR TOOK JUNGWON EIGHT DAYS AND FIFTEEN SELF TED TALKS TO KISS FAE AND THEN WHEN THEY TRY TO DO THEY JUST BUMP FOREHEADS 😭😭😭 the crazy amount of blushing oh my god he cant face her after that . BUT FAE I KNOW WHAT U ARE I BET SHE CUPS HIS FACE AND KISSES HIM YEAHHH idk maybe they also get matching bandages for those bruises ☝️

@jaeyunverse : scale broke THIS GENERATOR IS CRAZY?? ok first of all i know the real sage won't hesitate let's be fr. second of all THIS IS SO CUTE like idek what to say here everything is said by the generator LIKE I BET SHE FIRST STARTED AT HIS FACE FOR A GOOD FIVE MINUTES. AND THEN LEANS IN TO KISS HIM BUT ALMOST BACKS OFF WHEN HEESEUNG OPENS IN HIS EYES BUT HE'S A MAN OF HIS WORDS HE DOES KISS HER i could've added a few more things here but let's keep the delusion low for now

@tyunni : 10/10 this is something they will do i know. like imagine riki peeking through the slight gap as he hides in the closet, smiling widely every time may seemingly steps towards the closet BUT SHE NEVER GOES NEAR IT 🤓☝️ MY BOY SPENT FIFTEEN MINUTES IN A FUCKING CLOSET FOR HER LMFAOOO HE JUST GIVES UP IN THE END AND COMES OUT SAYING "U HAVE TO COME NEAR THE CLOSET FOR ME TO SCARE U" LIKE ??????? riki where did the logic go. HE'S SULKING BC HIS PLAN FAILED AND I KNOW MAY WILL NOT LET THIS GO . riki hates her for this (no he doesn't)

@jennaissantes : 10/10 the cutest!!! like they're both sitting on the couch and watching tv before the tv is ignored and they start talking ab their day SHARING TEA ohh . gossip girls fr 🙏 U CANNOT MISS THE WAY THEY KEEP SHIFTING CLOSER TO EACH OTHER LIEK from sitting at corners for the armrest to moving to the middle to falling asleep while cuddling and snuggling on the couch THAT GUY IS HOLDING ON HER REAL TIGHT BC HE DOESNT WANT LILY TO FALL OF THE COUCH i want this

@ctrlemis : 10/10 idc if anyone uses ipod now THIS IS TOO CUTE TO NOT TALK ABOUT. like cmon im sure sunoo is down bad for art ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BE and he def plans on confessing with a playlist since they love listening and trying out new songs. THE SWEATER UMMM bet it's after it has rained and the temperature has gotten a few degrees lower when sunoo offers them his sweater before art leaves for home (they both do but they live in opposite directions yes this is right) he literally sprints all the way to art's place when he realises his ipod is with them, AND LIKE IMAGINE THE CONVO LIKE ART DEF GOES "i like you too" while handing over his sweater and ipod while sunoo just stops functioning for a good minute IM CRYING THEY'RE SO ADORABLE

@sunooze : 356447/10 adding mimi here for giving this amazing idea IM SRY IF JAY IS NOT UR BIAS BUT I JS WENT WITH HIM BC I SAW HEE, JAY, JAKE AND SUNOO ON UR BLOG PLSSS but this is so cute i would propose immediately if someone did this for me LIKE I DEF SEE U RUMMAGING THRU THE KITCHEN TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO EAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND JAY WALKS UP TO CHECK ON ALL THE SHUFFLING NOISES??? he looks so sleepy ok sleepy jay will be adorable i know but all the sleep lefts his body when he realises that what u want isnt at home . INSTANTLY RUNS TO THE STORE . LIKE U BLINK AND HE'S OUT OF THE HOUSE. comes back w so many packets of that food item that it's not gna run out for at least a week pls pay him back in cuddles ☹️

@heeliopheelia : 10/10 BUTTERFLIES? carly and hee they both r talking more like she is talking and he's listening so attentively (eye contact game is insane) while she's talking about her day or something, AND THEN HE SUDDENLY BRINGS HIS HAND UP TO HER FACE TO TUCK A FEW STRANDS OF HER HAIR BEHIND HER EAR how have you not passed out yet bae. AND THE WAY HE'S SO NORMAL ABOUT IT LIKE HIS REASON IS "it was blocking my view, pretty," I WILL THROW MY LAPTOP ACROSS THE ROOM

#—sunooze.#—games.#i am writing ESSAYS here pls #all the prompts here are so adorable im smiling so hard #sorry if i missed anyone 🙏🙏

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andoqin · 10 months

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List of dramas that I am watching or want to watch, just for personal record reasons:

Cdramas:

The ingenious one (36/36): this drama has blown me away so far with its incredibly nuanced and sharp writing, its love stories between all the major couples and the absolutely magnificent cinematography. FINISHED verdict: HIGHLIGHT drama of the year for me so far. Smart, engaging, complicated, peak romance of all sorts, just what the doctor ordered tbh (overly long review can be found in my tags). 9.5

Chang Feng Du (40/40): I did not realise how close to the end I was. This drama is very pleasant and I adore our mains, but sadly except for a few highlights (the early beating gjs put on himself, the destruction of the gu family and the aftermath, the battle for wangdu) the writing hasn’t been able to keep the narrative tension up which is sad. FINSHED verdict: Very pretty and engaging in the beginning kinda loses me in the second half and then fizzles out emotionally, doesn't crash and burn but doesn't exactly stick the landing either 6.5

Gone with the rain (10/30): adore the gremlin4gremlin couple and from the spoilers I’ve seen not gonna adore much else

An ancient love song (1/16): incredible first episode and with only 30 min per ep and 16 eps in total this is gonna be a short fun ride I hope ( with lots of angst and tears naturally).

Here we meet again (18/32): started this for Wu Qian playing to type and Zhang BinBin being pretty but oh boy I’m struggling I just don’t care about the conflicts and in s surprising twist, I like the flashbacks to high school much much more, which is very funny if you think about the fact that the reason I started liking wu qian in the first place was because of her show stealing performance in the flashbacks of My Sunshine. I’ve been promised kisses in the near future so I’m gonna hold out till then but this might end up another drop.

Hidden Love (5/25): this one promises to be v sweet and kinda short but oh my god I have so many dramas on my plate rn so this might end up the first drop.

Till the end of the moon (22/40): I think I watched ep 1 when it started but then I got busy and now I am just staring at gifsets and crying, it’s definitely on the list to watch tho.

Heroes (6?/38): I started this a while ago, was really into it and then got busy… dammit. I might just rewatch the beginning so I can remember most of the set up for sure but man the visuals on this were so good, aaaa liu yuning.

Blood of youth (0/40): the last 12 months really have spoiled us with interesting looking wuxia dramas and this one is definitely on the list, I have been gifbaited once again.

Ray of light (0/30): usually hs dramas are something I avoid, but because I will not be watching the longest promise, for reasons, and bc @storge is a gifmaking temptress, this has made it on the list.

The legend of anle (0/39): Lmao trust YOUKU to screw up the release with bad subs only 1 ep even for vips and no released schedule… but at least I can put this on the backburner for now. Lmao should have known not to trust a youku dilreba drama, the tl has soundingly spoken and I'm gonna avoid this.

Ancient Detective (0/24): I was recced this by a friend when I mentioned my love for wuxia dramas, and since it’s almost shockingly short for a cdrama it’s on the list. EDIT: this got @purplehanfus seal of approval so it is def going up the list and since it's complete I'll probably at least watch it before the ongoing ones.

Butterflied love (0/22): see I barely made this post and already forgot about the screencap that got me started on writing it, the screencapa look great, but the drama is on mango, so who knows when I’ll truly be able to watch this

When I fly towards you (0/24): Well, I wasn't interested bc modern youth drama, but then I heard it described as "updated It Started with a Kiss" and... I'm weak? ISWAK was pretty much my crack gateway into asian dramas and while IDK if i could rewatch it today, something in me will always love this kind of story. Maybe it's like a quick palate cleanser in between since apparently eps are only about 30 mins.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook(0/40): CHENG YIIIII, in a possibly bromantic role? Or maybe het romance, I'll take it all. Plus I've already seen he's bleeding copious amounts as per his contract, so that's most of the checklist done.

Lost You Forever (0/??): because nature abhors a vacuum I apparently must have?? A minimum to watch pile and this actually and genuinely looks good??? A Yang Zi drama in 2023??? The mind boggles. Anyway I've been reading the recaps with delight, and am def going to watch this when part two airs in a couple of months but until then I have a thankful reprieve...

Kdramas:

See you in my 19th life (4/12): since kdramas release so slowly this is on the backburner but it does have some great gifsets that keep enticing meee

King the land (2/16): I am watching this for junho but it is kinda hard bc I have so much else on my plate and while I don’t mind a classic romcom type story I feel I need a bit more of an emotional hook

Story of the nine-tailed 1938 (0/16): so so many gorgeous and hilarious gifsets so little time. I loved season one so so much and the fact that this focuses on the brotherly relationship?? Extremely smart writing decisions were made!

The red sleeve (0/16): I blame @dangermousie for this she keeps reblogging angsts junho on my dash and I am but god’s weakest warrior.

Love tractor (0/8): gay himbo farmboy falls in love?? You bet this is on the list

Lady durian (0/?): ok this is only on the list for crack reasons but, daughter in law is in love with mother in law and both women are like 40+ truly kdramas have entered a new era and I kinda wanna be here for that

EDIT: Revenant (0/12): Kim Tae Ri in a spooky drama? POSSIBLY POSSESSED KIM TAE RI??? how could i forget to put her on this list, plus it was written by the Kingdom writer and I adore that drama plus it's only 12 eps which is smart in this case so... let's hope i get to it at some point D:

My dearest (2/20): I checked this out because it's got pretty much everything going for it from a production standpoint and boy did the first two eps deliver. This has got 2 seasons though so I'll probably wait until the second season is airing, since it won't be too long till season 2 or so the internet tells me.

My lovely liar (0/16): minhyun learned to act and I wanna see it happen!!

Jdramas:

Our dining table (2/10): ok this category is gonna be a bit shorter bc I haven’t watched too much drama recently but omg the gifs for this I am just crying thinking about it they look so cute??

Jack o‘frost (0/6): people have recced it and it’s short so here it is.

Utsukushii kare s2 (0/4): Season 1 was an unexpected delight so I hope s2 works just as well.

She loves to cook and she loves to eat (0/10): the manga for this is amazing (and hungry making) so I hope this adaptation holds up.

Ok this list is in no way exhaustive (well except for me being exhausted just trying toward this down) and probably subject to change ( I haven’t even looked at thaidramas or twdramas I gotta stop for now) but hopefully this will keep me on the ball and maybe I can add to it whenever a new tempting gifset crosses my dash…

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writermuses · 3 months

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Hello darlings!

I'm still alive/here. I know I owe all the things and I appreciate you all following my "queue that" rule because I haven't been on my computer to write let alone draft. In case you're wondering what I've been up to I'll give you a bulleted list of the teacher life near D.C. under the read more.

🩵 Natty

Here's some chaos:

My student pulled the fire alarm and rather than addressing that for the felony it is, kiddo is on a 1 month suspension (you get 45 days for fighting) Worth noting this student was previously expelled 2 years ago for a gun situation.

We've had 2 mob fights at my school and another at the next closest high school (they also had a stabbing and the response was "well at least it wasn't our school on the news this time")

I've had more meetings than there were days of the week and worked past 5 nearly every day (we love unpaid work... i'm talking like full time job hours of unpaid labor)

My school has gone through more than 12 principals in my 6 years here and the new one has given me 9 blocks of classes to have my students research, make posters, assemble 550 meal kits, complete a reflection, and present a summary (to whom? idk bro) All while never answering my emails... in case you're wondering it costs 20k to get the groceries for this task alone. As of right now I have 3 students that can build the 550 meal kits. We have 2 80 minute blocks to build them all or our low income families have nothing to eat over spring break 👍

Our bell schedule is changing so that we'll have 3 lunches with students required to be in the cafeteria, instead of 2 where they're in our classrooms. This will end all in school clubs (RIP Four Square Club 😢 ) and we need 350 more chairs in the cafeteria 😂 fyi I had to have 3 students standing per block for 4 weeks because we couldn't get desks and chairs for my classes of 33. When I got desks they gave me elementary cubby desks. (I teach HS. The average 'kid' is like 5'5 hahaha)

The students booed the new principal so loudly at the pep rally that I could hear it with earplugs in and she didn't send their bitch asses back to class. She said, "Hmm, I think I hear some boos? Wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last."

Here's some cute shit:

My nearly non-verbal gem of a human told me a joke: Why did the sun go to class? To get a little brighter!

That same student: His current hyperfixation is roasting my lack of an immune system. He calls me his weakest superhero 😂

In a room full of extremely politically divergent teenagers, they almost unanimously agreed that a person facing criminal charges shouldn't be allowed to run for office and then had civil discourse about it.

The hype of my Afghani students getting to teach their class the Arabic alphabet when we started our new module. (Also their hype over the teachers showing up to their club's fundraiser)

A parent made shirts for the seniors on our 🏀 team (just 4 boys). They got to pick their favorite and most impactful teacher and she wanted each one to have a different teacher wearing theirs but 2 of them insisted it be me and wouldn't budge 😭 (also one of them interviewed to play ball overseas so 🤞 for him)

A parent made the staff valentines day cupcakes

A student in culinary arts gave me a banging cinnamon roll the size of my head

A quiet student from last year came by to tell me he bowled nearly 300 and made brownies- they were not pot brownies, I took the risk and it was worth it 😂

2 of my kids with over 100 absences showed up this week! They won't pass but 👍 nice to know they're like alive

#ooc

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okwritingandpain · 10 months

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Hogwarts Legacy: The Curse of The Ravenclaw House: Phineas Nigellus Black x Reader

Chapter 3: Curses

You hadn't expected to get the letter from Azkaban. Not in a million years. You had to admit that you could never have imagined Sebastian wanting to see you, not after what you did to him. There had to be a proper reason. A reason they weren't telling you. Maybe he just wanted to chew you out before you left Hogwarts. Yes, that had to be it. They excused you from your classes for the day as a carriage from Azkaban arrived to take you away. Other students giggled and whispered to each other.

"Do you think they finally put her where she belongs?" A Hufflepuff asked a Slytherin student who was laughing.

"Of course they did. Obviously the paperwork took longer than they expected." The Slytherin replied. You rolled your eyes at their ludicrously. You got into the carriage which took off almost instantly which caught you off guard. You tapped your foot, impatiently. You were dying to know what Sebastian wanted. As if nothing could surprise you more, the carriage landed suddenly. You heard someone calling outside. The door opened to reveal Ominis who was panting.

"You almost left without me!" He smiled sitting across from you.

"You got a letter too?" You asked, "Sebastian must want you to see him chew me out." Ominis gave a small laugh.

"I'm sure that's not why he wants to see us." He reassured. "I wish Anne could have joined us, but she didn't think she could handle the dementors and the whole aspect of Azkaban." You and Ominis visited Anne often after she lost her uncle and Sebastian. While the curse still plagued her, Anne had found a way to live with it. After awhile you started teaching her spells that she hadn't learned yet and now she was a credited librarian. Everyone loved her compassion and kindness which made you smile. You still worried about her, Ominis, and Sebastian especially after what happened with Black and the stained glass window. You couldn't help but feel that it was a curse that seemed to follow you and your friends everywhere you went...and now Black was roped into it too.

"I can understand why that could...hurt." You reply, looking out the window. The trees danced in the wind as the storm was still strong. The holidays were rough with all of the storms and Professor Black declaring that classes continue. All he was doing was shifting classes up which meant that there would be nothing to teach at the end of the year. What were they supposed to do and not to mention as a seventh year you would rather be out of the school and off on your own. While you did enjoy your short time there, it was hard to be in after Fig's death. He was your only real family. You had never told anyone that you were an orphan.

No one. Not even Fig.

You had no idea who your parents were. Not to mention that you had grown up in a muggle orphanage with no idea that you were five years late to learning to become a witch! It wasn't long before the carriage was in the middle of the sea, flying over the storming water and large sea monsters. Azkaban was located on an island in the middle of the North Sea which brought no comfort to you as they drew near. Ominis shifted uncomfortably.

"Why do you think he wants to see us?" You ask as a large mass appeared in the distance. Ominis shrugged.

"Sebastian is a mystery." He muttered as the shape of Azkaban's twisted structure came into view. Lighting struck the sea as they landed on the island. Sticking close together, a guard came up to them.

"Who are you here to see?" He said, dully. He blinked slowly and yawned as he looked down hs lists of visits for the day.

"Sebastian Sallow."Ominis said, rocking back and forth.

"And you're names?" The guard asked, squinting at them.

"I'm Ominis Gaunt and this is Y/N L/N." He motioned towards you. The guard nodded as he pointed to the entrance.

"Hand in your wands and anything else such as a broom, potions, or any other charmed item." He muttered. You and Ominis ventured into the prison. Security immediately took all of your items and checked every nook and cranny. A guard then led you both to where Sebastian was. The walls were dark and lifeless. Little light flowed into the place and prisoners were groaning and crying in their cells. Dementors flew above you and Ominis gulped. One of the fowl beings looked at you and a sense of coldness came over you. You could hear Fig's last words repeating over and over in your head. It was crushing you. The walls were collapsing and the ground beneath you was hollow. Ominis pulled you away from the dementor as you collected yourself.

"Avoid them at all costs." He hissed, "They bring the most hurtful memories. I hope they haven't hurt Sebastian too much. " The guard finally stopped in front of a cell.

"Sebastian!" The guard called, "You have visitors!" You moved closer to the cell to see him. You wanted to know that he was alright in this horrible place. Inside you could see a dark figure laying against the wall. He stood up, moving towards you.

"You came." Sebastian smirked, coming close to the bars. He didn't look wildly different from two years ago, but his eyes...were so distant. Cold and unforgivable they stared at you. Ominis happily ran up to the bars to greet Sebastian.

"It's so great to see you!" He smiled.

"I would expect no less." Sebastian replied with a chuckle. Ominis and him took a minute to catch up about Anne and school while you watched quietly. They were the closest of friends and you didn't want to take that away from them.

"Y/N." Sebastian finally said, "How has everything been going for my prosecutor?" You shift awkwardly as Ominis stepped away from the bars to let you talk to Sebastian.

"It's been alright. How about my suspect?" You laugh, warranting a smile from him.

"Honestly, this place isn't that great, but it's better than whatever Black is doing at Hogwarts right now." He said.

"Really? A prison that has many deaths a year caused by their own dementors or having classes during holiday because of a storm?" You question.

"Exactly. I don't have to do any classes here." He smirked, "Plus, the worst Headmaster in history has no influence over me anymore."

"You're thinking of all of this wrong." You mutter, "Black isn't bad enough for you to want to be here."

"Yes he is." Sebastian replied, turning towards Ominis. "You agree with me, right Ominis?" Ominis shrugged and crossed his arms.

"I'm on her side." He said, "Black's bad, but not that bad." Sebastian glared at both of you.

"I guess we should cut to the chase." You say, "Why did you want to see us?" Sebastian sighed.

"I wanted to see you both, but..." He looked at the guard who stood at the end of the hall. "I've recently come across something I have never seen before. A stained glass window just appeared in my cell the other night!" Ominis let out a snort as your eyes grew wide. Sebastian saw it too.

"Really? The dementors are getting to you Sebastian." Ominis rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Ominis." You snapped, catching him off guard. "I've seen them too. Did it have a Ravenclaw symbol?" Sebastian looked at you surprised.

"Yes, but how did you know--"

"Black and I went through it." You explain. The others looked at you like you were crazy, but they had no excuses. They had seen what messed up stuff can happen in a world like this.

"You went through a window?" Ominis questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't act surprised, Ominis! We go through magical doors, portraits, and fly on brooms." You retort. He glared at you.

"What happened on the other side?" Sebastian asked, looking to a corner of his cell where it had been.

"We saw a memory of a kid that Black used to teach. I'm not sure what it means though." You say. The others were silent for a moment.

"We should keep in touch on this matter. I will write to you if I see the window again." Sebastian said as the guard came to kick them out.

"Times up." Waving goodbye to Sebastian, you and Ominis were pulled away from the cell.

"Why haven't you been writing me?" Ursula snapped as she slammed a fist on Black's desk. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Why do you think? I'm a Headmaster and there is a lot to do. Sirius and Phineas are fine and I'm sure you already know that." He hissed, picking up the multiple letters his sons had received from their mother.

"I want to talk to you too." She replied with a glare.

"Doesn't mean I want to talk to you though." He snorted, shoving the letters into a drawer. Ursula was taken aback. "Oh, lighten up! It was a joke."

"It wasn't funny, Phineas." She hissed, "You need to make time for your family instead of slacking off all day in your office!"

"I do not slack off!" He argued, "I am simply opening my mind through relaxation." Ursula pushed the papers off his desk.

"What will it take for you to care about your family?!" She snapped. He thought for a moment. He cared about his family of course, but both him and Ursula knew they were in a very loveless relationship. The only reason they were together in the first place was because of their pure blood. They had already talked about seeing other people and stay married to keep up appearances...

"I do care about this family, but I cannot handle it all right now." He replied, standing up from his desk.

"Why can't you? What could possibly be holding you back?" She asked, her face scrunching into a frown.

"It's complicated." He said, thinking about the stained glass windows and Cornelius. Ursula grew angier as she stormed out of his office. He couldn't blame her, but he honestly couldn't get himself together. He was never made to be a headmaster. Behind him was an empty portrait. It was always empty, but something was wrong. He couldn't believe it. "Not another one of you..."

A stained glass window stood where the portrait once hung.

#phineas nigellus black #hogwarts legacy #fanfic #harry potter #hogwarts #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #phineas nigellus black x reader #professor sharp #seventh year #ravenclaw #poppy sweeting #natsai onai #romance #slow burn #hogwarts oc #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry

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crappy-homestuck-confessions · 3 months

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dnd anon!!

I'm sorry that I'm missed, I just have a lot of stuff going on (school is a lot right now) and haven't had the time to come up with hs dnd stuff recently. I think I was doing dice collections last? And I think I was on the ancestors? so here we go!! sorry if I did this one before, I kinda forget where I left off. and If I did do this before there will almost definitely be points where I contradict myself, so sorry about that.

the ancestors dice collections! this is the hardest group for me to get a feel of their characterization for because of how little we know about them, so as always these are just my thoughts:

The Handmaid: one set, made of bone. she doesn't remember where she got them.

The Summoner: Has a few sets, not full dice hoarding though. A few animal themed ones, and one plain set that came in a starter set. Has a dice tower, but no dice jail. Might have a dice case for a favorite set.

The Psiioniic: prefers digital rollers (if they had space travel they definitely had enough tech for a random number generator) but has two sets of nice metal dice that he uses for really important rolls.

The Signless: Rainbow dice. Also has a few sets of bone dice the disciple made for him, a bright red set, and a bunch of sets given to him by friends, family and his followers. People just started giving him dice. He's a dice hoarder, but has never actually gone out of his way to buy/make a set for himself.

The Disciple: Bone and stone dice. Has a dice tower and a dice jail, but doesn't really use either too much. Gives her dice personalities, and uses them for different rolls based on what they 'like' doing (just vibes, no real reasoning)

The Dolorosa: Has a set given to her by the signless. They're too precious to her for her to ever use (they aren't really well balanced, he made them himself.), so instead uses a simple wooden set. She also has some extra sets to hand out in case someone forgets theirs.

Redglare: A red set and a teal set, with a few extra d20s. A dice jail which is almost always in use. The extra d20s are because sometimes all her d20s are in dice jail and not quite done their sentence but she has a session soon so needs to get a new one.

Mindfang: ONLY her d8s. She will find a way to make any roll with her d8s. It's useless arguing with her, but at least it makes it more likely for her to get mid-range rolls instead of high rolls, so it's basically harmless. What's not harmless however are the wild magic effects of her dice, so maybe she should just switch to digital (she won't).

Darkleer: A metal set. Nothing too fancy, just some good functional dice.

The Grand Highblood: HUGE collection. Dice hoarder. Collector of weird dice. Not all of them are fully balanced, but he doesn't use all of them anyways. They're mostly just pretty. He has dice with smaller dice inside, dice with all manners of inclusions, light up dice, crystal dice, glitter dice, unusually shaped dice, all the dice. He has a dice jail and when he puts one in he normally forgets about it and ends up thinking he lost it. Also has a big dice tower.

Dualscar: A few sets, mostly stone or jewels. Doesn't have a tower or jail, but does have a carrying case for a few of his favorite sets.

)(IC: Hot pink glitter dice, gold-plated metal dice, and a few sets of gemstone dice. Has a dice tower, dice jail, and a carrying case for each set.

Well there we go! I'm nowhere near as confident that I'm characterizing the ancestors properly as I am with the other characters I do this stuff for, so this is entirely based on vibes. If anyone has any other ideas about this then feel free to say so, I'd love to hear your thoughts!!

#homestuck confession #mod anu #homestuck #dnd anon!!!

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cakesplice · 1 year

Text

my silly little non despair dr roomies au ramblings 💭

characters:

main housemates: chiaki + hajime + komaeda (aka tpg) and ibuki

floormates who are also dating main housemates and basically live in their apartment: akane and kaede

other people dating main housemates: maki

regular visitors: chihiro, himiko, kokichi, makoto, almost everyone in sdr2 with a focus on fuyuhiko, kazuichi, and maybe sonia

premise:

all dr casts are involved + hpa is still very much intact (unfortunately) (also i haven't decided if v3 cast also went to hpa or did their own thing lol)

tpg graduated together, alongside the rest of class 77-b and the year before class 78-b

tpg are qpps! platonic partners forever and ever

tpg decided to room with ibuki (much against their will at first since ibuki just needed to place to stay in between gigs but komaeda and ibuki had gotten closer so now she has occupied what was originally just a storage room for tpg)

they live in a 3 bedroom apartment in a skyrise building in the city (room 314 baybeyyy)

komahina share a room with each other while chiaki and ibuki have their own rooms respectively :]

relationships:

main couples: komahina, chikaemaki, miowari

other couples of importance: oumeno and naehiro

besties for the resties: tpg, chiaki + chihiro + himiko, komaeda + ibuki, kuzuhinasouda

komahina reconciled their differences nearing the end of their last term at hpa and took a shot at dating post grad before deciding to move in together a few years into their relationship

(chikaemaki origin story in the works) but chiaki was involved in komahina's plans to move in together in order to 'minimize rent costs' (they did not minimize rent costs) (not that they really needed to lol thank you old schmoney)

kaede lives in the same building as the main housemates and visits regularly! just not as often as akane because she's attached to her piano. chiaki spends as much time in her room as she does in kaede's apartment as they do a lot of parallel play ❤️ maki fucks off regularly for work trips and/or studies abroad though so piano tiles (chiaki and kaede) spend time together with her online gaming because e-daters (derogatory)

ibuki started seeing and dating akane after meeting again a high school reunion so now akane basically lives there (her apt is on the same floor but she's always in room 314 anyway)

oumeno and naehiro are high school sweethearts from their respective high schools ^___^ it did take oumeno longer to figure their shit out though LMFAO

occupations:

to be developed! i did not think that far ahead lol

the au itself takes place a few years after their intended hs graduation so they're all in their early 20s, but i'm not sure if i want them all to be in college / only some of them to be in college / all to be employed (part and/or full time) / etc

i think the only occupations i'm somewhat confident about are: ibuki (part-time singer-songwriter), chiaki (part-time streamer), and komahina are both currently in school working with hajime working part-time and komaeda as his stay-at-home wife (joke joke this is a joke don't k word me ty)

extras:

kaede's hs best friends are rantaro and shuichi who both visit occasionally

maki's hs best friends are kaito (visits occasionally) and himiko (always there)

himiko's hs best friend is angie (lives overseas)

i think apt 314 should have some pets. for funsies <3

🍓🐶🦔 i will keep adding to this post and changing things as i see fit :3 thanks for tuning in if you actually took the time to read this LOL 🍓🎼🔪

#roomies #<- catch-all tag for this au :-)#3am cringe lets fucking GO #i'm not proofreading this either sorry if nothing makes sense (i'm not sorry)#this all sounds even more silly now that i have typed it all out lol #my followers are not exempt from my brainrot >:]#sticky notes

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mihai-florescu · 1 year

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hatred hour is so funny so heres some irl drama from last year

two ppl in my hs friend group were super mad at each other and constantly fighting and no one knew why. theyd get in screaming matches, shit talk each other constantly, etc. one would sit at the lunch table to complain about the other then walk away, then the other one shows up to do the same. they each have private channels in our discord with almost everyone on the server except the other person where they vague each other. for some reason absolutely nobody intervenes

near the end of the year its died down, tho they still arent talking to each other, and my one friend finally tells me why they were fighting (she knew the whole time but lied and said she did it bc um. idk why actually): they both had a crush on the same guy.

and the reason they stopped fighting is because said guy got a boyfriend

HELPP i was reading waiting for the punchline to be that theyre actually dating each other and just playing mind games with everyone else (on an unrelated note if anyone wants to date privately and we vague about hating each other publicly im down)

But the fact that he got a boyfriend that is neither of your friends... Well, now those 2 can date...enemies to lovers...love wins!

#this too is yuri #ask #anon #hatred hour #youre right this IS fun

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wishi-selfships · 8 months

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HEWWO WISHI ( ≧∀≦)ノ

I yam interested in knowing a bit more about your ship with Kazuichi!! When you've got the time of course, any ideas or facts, I'd love to hear them🫶

🍪<- cookie for you

(Grins evilly) HAIII FLAKE >■</!!!!! So glad you sent this bc now I get to think about GabiDen 2.0 (so sorry StarSoda/KazWish for calling you guys that. If anything Gabi and Denji are StarSoda 2.0 if you really think about it [Kazuichi was the first shark toothed guy i ever unofficially f/o'd. This is some serious irl Wishi lore])

▪︎ Despite being in the class below Kazuichi, Wishi's actually the oldest !! Not by much, just by a couple of months (She's born in April, he's born in June)

▪︎ Kazuichi and Wishi met due to Sonia, actually !! Sonia and Wishi became friends due to fact that both of them were technically transfers. They'd hang out sometimes either during or after school, and considering Kazuichi's infatuation with Sonia, it was only a matter of time until they crossed paths with one another.

▪︎ Their dynamic is 100% "[A] fell first; [B] fell harder" with Wishi being A and Kazuichi being B. Except Wishi did fall first then proceeded to fall harder because of course she did.

▪︎ In a normal AU, Wishi fell for Kazuichi during their school years, but lacked the courage to do anything about it at the time. Meanwhile, Kazuichi would've realized he caught feelings for Wishi if not for the events that happened, which for lack of better term, distracted him from that. Wishi sort of got a do-over during SDR2 when they were both in the Neo World Program (which is its own story as to why she's in there), where she, in fact, ended up falling first AGAIN. But this time, Kazuichi finally fell harder (hallelujah)

□ However, in a non despair AU, things go slightly better ! And by slightly I mean The End never kick starts because I blended Junko Enoshima so now StarSoda gets to have a silly HS romance >■< In Which Wishi falls first and goes "ohno" because he's like. OBSESSED with Sonia and also because Wishi + Crushes = flustered hell and delusions too maybe. And Kazuichi FINALLY realizes that he's fallen HARD because "oh cute girl who's like really nice to me and is cute and probably likes me?? And is cute and is my friend who's actually been great and is also CUTE!?!" yaeah ♡♡ This time though Wishi actually ends up doing smthn about it. And by that I mean Kazuichi asked her out sometime in his third year bc he didn't have much time left and wanted to get at least a CHANCE at some Highschool romance. Wishi said yes. And by "say yes" I mean she was right about to ask HIM out too (with the same reasoning as him) and went "o.oh you were gonna. ah. okay guess I don't need this anymore" secretly hides heartfelt card she made bc she was too afraid to confess verbally (he got the card anyway)

▪︎ After some time of being friends, Wishi mentioned that she made silly little webcomics in her free-time and Kazuichi near BEGGED her to add him in one. And she went "I'm not doing THAT. EVER!!!" and then immediately added him in the background as a bg character in the newest web comic she was working on.

▪︎ Speaking of. Wishi almost always doodles Kazuichi whenever she's drawing warm up sketches. She's got a little sketchbook and almost all of the pages have some sort of Souda drawing on them. You can actually track her improvement when it comes to drawing him.

▪︎ In HS, they were the couple who technically weren't a couple but . Everyone could tell. "Yeahhh they defo have smthn going on" because they DIDD so then when they actually got together nobody was all that surprised about it.

▪︎ Not much changed when they went from friends to dating in terms of their dynamic, except Kazuichi got, like... REALLY super giddy near the beginning of their relationship. Almost to the point where he was but a liiiittle bit overwhelming. But Wishi knew it was from a place of genuine excitement, and he chilled out a little eventually!!

▪︎ I wanna say that they’re both super affectionate to the point where their friends go “yuck!!” at the PDA but really? I don’t think they’d get thaaat bad about it! While Kazuichi is 100% ready to go HAM with PDA, Wishi is a bit more tactful.

□ … THOUGH WISHI HAS HER MOMENTS!!! She’s definitely a repeat offender of sneaking behind Kazuichi and just completely GLOMPING the hell out of him. Sneaks up behind and jumps on his back ,, koala hugs him too,, Almost NEVER fails to scare the socks off of him!! But then he realizes it’s his GF and he goes from terrified to shakily happy :3c

▪︎ Wishi likes to draw her and Kazuichi together, or just make general art that he’d like, while Kazuichi likes making little trinkets for Wishi!!

□ They've both made eachother little charms and keychains for the other!! Wishi drew out a design and made one out of clay for Kazuichi, while Kazuichi worked overnight on a cute little trinket using the parts of two watches and also a couple of coke cans. It was a very pretty charm that had a neat flashlight function!!

▪︎ I like to think that somewhere in the future, they move in together 💭💭 They probably adopt a cat together (Kazuichi found a cat in the engine of an old car and brought it home and Wishigot attached quickly). Wishi probably ended up publishing her webcomic as a physical thing while Kazuichi finally got to finish that bike project he was working on, as well as being able to open his own mechanic .. um. Shop? I forgot the right word, mb

□ That’s all in a non-despair AU though. In a normal AU, they don’t live together… Technically. Wishi visits Jabberwock Island for half a year annually and lives with Kazuichi when she does, but she does have to leave the island to do her work as a Future Foundation Member (while FF started rebuilding Hopes Peak, I honestly doubt that there still wasn’t other work to be done. She keeps busy tending to Hopes Peak, as well as outside work that the Future Foundation assigns her to do). Fortunately, though, it didn’t really cause a lot of problems in the long run! It was a little difficult at first, but it definitely helped that they kept up contact when Wishi was away! Plus, Wishi started taking quick two-three day visits during the months she’s mainly working just so that the wait isn’t as long/unbearable.

#selfship #self ship #TY 4 THE COOKIE >■</🍪!!! Very yummy :3c #As far as StarSoda goes I had more story-based points rather than generally fluffy nonsense like with GabiDen #i. dont have an excuse for that tbh whoopsie dasiy ☆#BUT WAAA ITS SO GOOD TO TALK ABT KAZUICHI >■<!!!!! my repressed feelings for him are slowly trickling out #dw I'll be swimming with ideas in no time. maybe #formal apology to makoto btw. ur my og danganronpa f/o pookie and you'll have your time again but .... souda's turn #🔧StarSoda [ship]#🔧Kazuichi Soda [romantic f/o]#The “Star” in “StarSoda” comes from the term “Wish Upon a Star”. Cause her name is Wishi. [Wish]i. TY Ana ily 🫶🏽🫶🏽#or did *I* come up with that? i forgor tbh #wishi rambles #takasgf tag

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cadrenebula · 1 year

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Do you want to try that song shuffle-fic game? I'll give you the number 4 then! :)

In the End by Linkin Park

I tried so hard and got so far But in the end it doesn't even matter I had to fall to lose it all

(Thank you @celestialspark - I just want to say curse you playlist lol. With almost 900 songs and it gives me the one that got me through my Senior year of HS. So please have this dark piece of Alexois right after his betrayal of Lancefer... Prolly a little over 10yrs ago? I didn't do the math but Alex is 36 now an this happened in his early 20s. Warnings for blood and violence.)

Alex slumped with his back against the tree near one of the deep ravines. It seemed it was safe enough to stop running. Putting a hand over the still bleeding wound on his face.

A fraction slower on dodging and he could have lost his eye. It was bad enough how badly face wounds bleed. Lance's sword had certainly tried to claim his eye. Not that he could blame the man that had just been his friend the day before.

Balling his blood stained hand into a fist before thudding it into the tree behind him. He wasn't sure what hurt more. The one person he allowed himself to care about thinking the worst of him. Or the throbbing slash wound in the flesh of his face.

Wrapping a cloth around his face as best as he could to help stop the bleeding. Hands freezing at the sound of someone approaching. Quickly grabbing for his dropped polearm to defend himself. Just in time to avoid the blade of his mentor aiming for his neck.

"I told you to kill the boy. Yet he still lives. Why?" Sneered the dark skinned duskwight know as The Carver among Ishgard's assassins.

"I wasn't being paid to kill some snot nosed brat from Hallienarte." Alex grimaces as he avoids meeting his mentor's gaze.

"I gave you an order. I guess I'll just have to kill the boy myself then."

"No!" Alex snarled in response as he glared hatred towards Jacques. He wasn't going to let all his work still end in Lance's death. He'd hoped that betraying Lance would be enough to make it look like he'd never cared about the high born lad. As if he'd just been using the black sheep of the Aurifore family. Damn it all that it hadn't been enough to trick Jacques.

A sharp crack of flesh against flesh as Alex's head snapped to the side. The hastily wrapped cloth coming off his face with the backhand he took from Jacques. The wound still seeping blood as Alex snarled.

Lunging for his mentor now. He couldn't let it happen. He wouldn't. He might not be a good person but Lance was. Broken but with good intentions of trying to help those who should have been beneath him as a high born. Putting every thing his mentor had taught him over these years to use against him. He would not let Jacques kill Lance. Even if it meant he died here.

Alex knew he couldn't beat Jacques in a prolonged fight. The other assassin had far more experience and if he got inside of Alex's reach... He'd be screwed. Distance was his friend with a polearm. Using the terrain to his advantage as he attacked like a frenzied animal. Driving Jacques back towards the ravine. Hating that gloating look on Jacques' face as he blocked and feinted attacks.

Only for that gloating look to be replaced by one of shock. The edge where Alex had pushed Jacques to, crumbled beneath them. Down into the ravine the older man plummeted. But that polearm was Alex's saving grace as he managed to lodge it into part of the rocky face.

Alex managed to climb back up, collapsing onto his back. It wasn't safe for him anymore. Without going down there, he couldn't be sure if his mentor was dead. Nor did he have the strength to go check or face another fight. All he could do was hope that Jacques was dead at the bottom.

Forcing himself to his feet, he collected his discarded cloth he'd been using as a bandage. Once he had it in place again, he started south. Heading towards the Shroud to put as much distance as he could between himself and Ishgard.

#About Alexois #The Jackal of Coerthas #The Knight and The Jackal #About Lancefer #Knight of the Roses #Hopefully some writing will get the brain moving #So I can catch up on some neglected RP I want to reply to #Depression is an evil monster

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duasoul · 1 year

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I want to make a list of why my previous job was so stressful and why it made me so sick for so long but I could not give up because it was my only source of incoming and having my own money helped me with my inferiority disorder tendency

I am grateful for my first job because of the money and the learning opportunities that I had. Also, I left on good terms. I got along with most people, so that made the experience bearable.

But I was reflecting earlier today on what exactly were the causes that made me feel so stressed and unwell while working there.

Customer service can be brutal. My first job was customer service, and my current job is also customer service but the difference is quite impressive.

I thought about making a list of this, so I could have a clearer view of what I think as I organise my thoughts.

Customer Services. A brutal job role at times. Bearable job position other times when you learn how to deal with certain people and not take things personally. Customer service can be good in a way for many people because often times it does not require previous experience, or great excellency at a certain topic. Although most of people I work with have university certifications and those fancy academical validation, we still do the same thing and I only graduated HS. This can open a discussion in many topics, but my point is: IT IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE BY MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE NO QUALIFICATION BUT STILL NEED TO SURVIVE IN OUR SOCIETY. At most, will require you a different language, or effort to learn how to communicate with people and master the use of some tools to get issues sorted, which brings me to another item of the list, the training phase.

I assume that when you take a new job role, some sort of training is, or at least should be offered as the bare minimum. The training experience I had with this particular company was lacking in many ways, but we could not even provide our true feedback about it, and I will discuss this more further. The training consists on us being sat in front of our computer, listening to the trainer going through slides 8 hours a day. For this company, there were lots of different things you had to know and master, and this by itself is not necessarily a bad thing, however, when you are in front of a computer 8h a day, listening to someone talk non stop while reading slides, not being allowed to take notes on a notebook or any external source, and having little to almost none chances to put in practice what you just saw.... that felt ridiculous. At the end, we had to provide a feedback about the training, and we have been discouraged to provide negative feedback because this company was a 3rd party working from another big company. So yes, from beginning to end, we employees were kinda fcked in many ways I would say. The few times we could practice what we learned had so limitations, that you could not actually gain experience from it, everything was restricted.

Right out of the training we then started tot are calls everyday all day, which it is the job you signed up for. However, for this company, we would only take calls. And since most of times we were dealing with complex issues, angry people, and so on the job was really draining and tiring, especially because the training was not even near enough to prepare us of what the job really was like. Calls, calls, calls, every minute. Really not even time to breathe between calls you would have, I'm really talking about seconds here. Once a call was finished, another one would come in right away, so you kinda did not have the time to process things well. It is normal for a call center to have non stop calls when something big happens, or when we were short on staff... but this was everyday all day, it felt like big things were always happening while we were short staffed.

Following up on what has been discussed, I want to touch on this high volume of inbounds ALL THE TIME and the lack of dynamics in this job. When I signed my contract I was aware that it would be to take calls, but I was not aware of how much inbounds they would have and how things worked internally, so these things came to my knowledge once I was within the company. Even on the longest days I was like "okay I signed up a contract for this, is my job I gotta do it" but it is overwhelming. Me and my colleagues would often feel overworked, even though, by law, we were doing the paid 40h a week. We would have little to no opportunities to do other tasks like help new hires, or your colleagues. Most of the time you had to sit down and be on the phone, nothing would change really.

There was a lot of pressure I remember, the turn around rate was higher than my will to live. Most people would quit the job within the first few weeks after the training. I noticed that a lot of people would leave the company within the first 6 months, or between 6 months and one year. The co-workers that were there for more than 6 months was really little, that why they were always hiring, promising things that were not that down to reality, I'll touch on that on a bit. As mentioned previously, it was a big company, so the customer expect to be treated like royalty, they expected the highest quality service. Don't get me wrong, I totally get that. I believe that if you pay for something, you should receive what you are paying for, and respect is the bare minimum that we should have on our society. However, the company does have its policies, and even though they would say the customer's feedback was important, it was not that impactful honestly. The guidelines were really strict, and what the company promised to their customer's were really something that we were not allowed to give. So us, the customer care agents were always between a rock and a hard place. Bonuses were promised to us, and sold as something totally achievable... the problem is that the main bonuses were actually out of your control because it depended on the customer's opinion really. Imagine the following, a loyal customer that has been with the company for like 5 years or 20 years, calls in with a complex issue. The first thing that comes to mind is, we should be able to solve this in an easier and efficient way, however, this 99% would not happen because we had so many guidelines. Then, the customer would feel super upset and unsupported, meaning a bad survey would come in, meaning that even if I made all the work right, that bad survey would rule out my chances to receive any bonuses.

Along with the guidelines, we had little to no autonomy. I got to be a senior on my job role within 1 year of taking calls, and after taking care of calls of another 2 departments. Being a senior, you might think that we have more authority, more things we can do, we can help them in a different way maybe. Honestly, being a senior there meant that I would just say NO in a different way, the small little different things we would do was not that motivating... and the little extra we were being paid was not enough, because as a senior you deal with extra upset people, an extra complex issues, and again, most of times, you are just reinforcing a NO.

Like every call center, we have a quality team that make sure every guideline is being followed. It's their job to coach you, point it out what need to improve and what is okay and I have nothing against that, I would actually value their feedback at lot. And my assessments were really good. Something that was not so funny, is that since our main bonus was handled by the customer opinion, QA team would heat those calls and evaluate them, however, even if you have done everything right, they would find something to point it out just because the survey was negative. Because as part of their job, they had to find a reason why a customer gave the company a bad rating. But then, the few times we would have some 1:1 they would often say, yes in this case it was really a customer issue, not yours. But of course, at the end of the day, you had too meet so many metrics, deal with so much trouble, and the nice co-workers I had were for a long time, what made everything a little easier. In regards to QA, I was a little too easy on accepting that I did something wrong, and it was my fault again, mental issues... but I think I am standing up for myself more.

Okay so I talked about the unhelpful training, the lack of authority and dynamics within the job role, the ridiculous metrics that we had to achieve in order to get a decent money at the end of the month, now I think it is worth mentioning that the job role felt pointless after some time. Because it was stressful most of the time, you were doing the same thing all the time with little margin to change something, after a while the feedbacks you get were pointless, and you had almost no room to grow into other roles within the company. You could grow until certain point, and after that if you would like to do something within the company differently of what you were doing, you had no opportunity. Even though most of people would quit within a short time, there was there a few people that was there for like 6 years doing the same thing, taking the same calls, dealing with the same people. This to me looked hopeless. I was so tired, and anxious and stressed that I did not wanted to do my job. I just wanted to leave. I was there for a 1 year and a half, and there were a few times were I felt so burned out. The first few months I struggled so much, because it was my first job, everything was messed up and I was trying to cope but I could not do it by myself. I faced a lot of health issues during that time. After around 8 months I think, I was tremendously tired and fatigued. It took me another 3 months to get back to "normal". And then, when I thought I was doing well, and I could keep doing the job for a little more, they decided that I would be a senior, which I despised with all my being. I did not have a choice, it was really either you grow or you leave. I could not leave. I had to face it. I was hopeless really, I expected the worse. I was a senior for like 3 or 4 months before I decided to quit. Being a senior was awful but not as awful as I thought it would be. My supervisor at the time was awesome, I loved him as a person and as a co-worker. He encouraged me to stand by myself and was more like a friend there. Then he left, I was happy for him. When he was leaving, I told him that I was applying to another job, by that time I think I was between interviews, and I told him the interviews went well. He was so happy for me.

Overall, our job was to help our customers, but the way the company wanted to help them, was far from what the customers wanted to be helped. I kinda understood both sides, but still imagine being at a job role that you are supposed to deal with something complex, make that as easy as possible on the customers and provide them with solutions, but the guidelines won't allow you to. It is sad really.

When I told my supervisor that I was planning to leave he super encouraged me. In this company, when people would get better opportunities everyone would be super happy for them. We kinda shared the same struggles so e were like YES TAKE THAT JOB YOU DESERVE BETTER

When I was forced into being a senior there, I told myself that I would like to find another job by the beginning on 2023. The manifestation worked and I started on my current job on the end of November. By January 2023, I was already working on the position I applied to. It is also customer service, but with a different service, with a different company. I am enjoying so far because even though we have guidelines, we do have some authority to make changes as long as we can back ourselves up. Most people are friendly too, and it seems like there is room for growth. We assist our customers on different channels, so not only phone calls. On the busiest days we do have a lot of contacts, but there are days that we are more chill.

I have been there for like 3 months, so far I am enjoying but I don't want to glorify anything. I want to see how it goes long term. My plans is to master what I am doing in order to move out from customer service.

Let's see how it goes.

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small-n-tall · 11 months

Text

Small to tall and back again

TW: Don't read if little, discussions of suicidal ideation

Coping with the mounting stresses of adult hood is messing with my head more than I anticipated. I've always had a fear of getting older, some of my earliest memories are me realizing I won't be a kid forever and I'll have to one day be an adult and do the things my parents do. I was panicked for days after I realized this.

I tried to take the advice that adults were giving me, to enjoy being a child because it all goes by so fast. I quickly realized they were right. I enjoyed the care free days of my childhood to the best of my abilities, though always with the pervasive anxiety of adulthood looming over me. This wasn't the easiest though, as there were stressors in my childhood I had no control over.

For a while I really didn't mind birthdays all that much, I did get gifts and things at least. My parents usually made them fun too. Around the age of 14-15 or so my feelings around birthdays started to change. They just began to stress me out. It just became an annual reminder that I was getting older and there was nothing I could do about it. People wanted me to celebrate but I was having a harder and harder time seeing the joy in it. I couldn't wrap my head around why anyone would want to be an adult. This was confounding upon itself as I learned more about the world, and the abuse suffered by nearly every person for the sake of profits and personal gains. I saw more flaws and horrors than I thought were possible and I started to spiral farther into depression. Around this time I started to plan to kill myself after HS graduation, simply out of fear of being an adult. I ended up taking SSRI's for about 5 years.

My teenage years I mostly remember fondly. I was able to break out of my shell more and developed my social skills that were lacking at the time thanks to high school, but that's not to say it was entirely easy. But I had a nicer go at it than others. If I wasn't 6'2" by the time I was 11 I probably would have been picked on a lot due to my idiosyncrasies.

COVID started when I was 17, nearing the end of my junior year. The rest of that year and the entirety of my senior year were over zoom calls. In a lot of ways I feel cheated out of the last of the good years of my life. But there's no one I can blame, it's just circumstance.

Much to my surprise, I turned 20 a few months ago. I didn't remind any of my friends that it was my birthday and thankfully no one remembered. I spent most of the day crying. I told them a couple weeks after the fact.

Since I didn't really ever plan to be an adult I'm having a very difficult time getting myself together in really any fashion. I've had a multitude of jobs, mostly retail, since graduation. None of which I have been able to hold down for more than a month or two. I'll just break down and cry and leave without telling anybody and block my bosses numbers. Usually the last check gets to me one way or another at least.

My parents understand that I'm pretty fucked up, though not the full extent of it I don't think, I don't think I do either. Thankfully they still tolerate me and let me live here but I don't know how long.

But here I am, I cry and age regress almost everyday. I hold onto my childhood teddy bear, desperately clinging onto a feeling I can hardly remember and dreading a bleak future.

Sorry if this is just kind of a dump with no real conclusive end. But thank you for reading regardless.

#age regression #age regressor #agere

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