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chromations · 2 months

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The Robert Plant post that's been on my mind since the jimmy post.

EDIT: tumblr fucked up and deleted half the post AND put it without tags. Now complete

It's easier to write about psychology I relate to. To dive into something so clear, so easy to point out the faults of. Writing Jimmy's story was easy. What I'm writing now is less than.

This is how Led Zeppelin impacted Robert Plant. As usual, feel free to add, and the rest is under the cut. This is gonna be sad (and long)

Anyone can spot how, now, Robert reflects on his Zeppelin days with disdain. He doesn't perform nor relate to the majority of his Zeppelin songs anymore. Of course, just as the rest of the band, he's sick of the press asking for another tour. Another reunion. Another reminder of a dark spot in who we see as the golden god.

What happened?

What *didn't* happen?? At first, Zeppelin started out and grazed the sun. And the sun had been spun for years, so to speak. Popularity, sex, riches, women, freedom, *music*. Who wouldn't want that? Of course, there had been the lyrics written by a guy in his early 20s, the many meanings eluding and warping to the ears of the listener. There was criticism over the different lifestyles, tear gassing, police raids, there was Jimmy and Lori. Even recounted by Jimmy Page (Through the On This Day feature), they'd perform in Memphis, only to be stopped by a man with a gun when they'd wanted to perform an encore.

Still, each life had its faults. Robert would write Sick Again's lyrics with the groupees in mind, with the underlying sadness for what Lori had gone through.

Come 1975, and the wax starts to melt. Jimmy starts on heroin at some point during their tours that year. After Plant's family flies out, he and Robert vacation in Morocco. After, in Greece, Robert is driving with his family, and they get into an accident: Almost fatal on Maureen, a broken ankle + elbow on Robert, and bruises on the kids. Back in England, they'd receive care... Only for Plant to have to leave England due to his tax exile. He'd spend the time in a wheelchair, writing and developing Presence. Achilles Last Stand, about his time in Morocco with Jimmy, previously called The Wheelchair Song. Tea For One, about the loneliness and despair on tour, of being away from his family. For Your Life is about a friend of Robert's who had been heavy in drugs. Quote from faroutmagazine, it's reflected that Presence was "a cry from the depths"/"a cry of survival"

Presence is often shat on for what's perceived as a lackluster, boring, rehashed album. While I see where these statements come from, Presence happens to be my favorite album.

In 76, Presence is released, and in the same year, Zeppelin's concert film The Song Remains The Same, to make up for the canceled tours in pursuit of Plant's recovery.

1977 comes around. American tour. Everyone's unsure if the band will perform the same after such a hiatus, but it works out. Mostly. Page, as in my other post, is emotionally unavailable, to say the least, in his own struggles. The band in total is still imbibing in heavy drug usage (JPJ, however, more discreet with his use and not to be found in embarrassing situations), but the tour breaks records, a heavy hitting comeback.

Icarus falls, the zeppelin crashes.

Come summer, the third leg just there, and Robert gets the call: Karac Plant, his son, passed while he was away. The cause had been an unknown stomach illness, and he couldn't have even been there for his son. Gut wrenching. Karac was 5.

Tour canceled, and the last time Zeppelin played North America, Plant flies back home with Bonham and Richard Cole at his side. Jimmy and Peter Grant remain in America, while Jones takes time for vacation. During his time of immense grief, Plant heavily considered quitting music all together to be a teacher, as he just wanted to be with his family. While everyone else was off flitting about, Robert says John Bonham was the only one really at his side for the entire process. Out of the members of Zeppelin, Bonzo was the only one attending Karac's funeral at Plant's side. The darkest, most heartbreaking moment of your life, and your friends aren't around (Of course Bonham was, of course he was around. They were best friends). Jones had said, later, with what Elvis dying, all he knew was that he (Robert) should have his space. Lacking etiquette and not knowing consolation shouldn't mean you (in context, Jones and Page) lack the ability to be there for your friend, though.

Robert never fully got over Karac's death. I wouldn't blame him. He wrote multiple songs over the years honoring his son (All My Love, Blue Train, I Believe).

In addition, he would have a talk with himself, in which he would quit drugs. Quote below.

After everything of 1977, the future of Led Zeppelin became uncertain. Just about silence for a long time, while Plant went through the grief process. About 1977, he says: “[it was] the year it all stopped for me. Nothing could make it all right again and nothing ever will.”

"During the absolute darkest times of my life when I lost my boy and my family was in disarray, it was Bonzo who came to me."

Finally, Page and Bonham convince Plant to stay in music, to stay with Zeppelin, when Jimmy told him to take a break until he's ready, and that the band is nothing without Robert.

Zeppelin returns in 1979, though the light has dimmed. Jimmy and Bonham lose themselves further. If you take a look, In Through The Out Door is largely about Robert's feelings once more. When recording and writing, it's often said that the band had split in two: Sober (Plant and JPJ) and not sober (Page, Bonham) . While Plant and Jones wrote and composed, the other two would fail to show up on time, sometimes even at all. As previously mentioned, All My Love and I'm Gonna Crawl are tributes to Karac. In The Evening is about the struggles and stress faced even through his stardom and wealth.

Carouselambra tells the story of Zeppelin's fall. From kings, gods, to rust. In particular, it details the loneliness and betrayal felt by Plant after his band mates failed to be there for him.

"Where was your word, where did you go?

Where was your helping, where was your bow?

Dull is the armour, cold is the day

Hard was the journey, dark was the way, way

I heard the word, I couldn't stay, oh

I couldn't stand it another day, another day"

In particular, "Where was your word, where did you go?" struck with me.

The rest of the album is filled with lighter, story centered, and explorational songs. Plant knew that while Zeppelin was there, it was nearing its end. Come Knebworth, a great show, but Robert is different, you see it in his eyes. The naivety, the innocence, the belief that he could have it all, has faded.

And nobody else is the same at knebworth, either.

Fast forward a year and John Bonham dies, god rest his soul. Led Zeppelin breaks up. Robert loses his best friend and son in the span of 3 years.

Icarus burns. The zeppelin crashes.

Robert distances himself from the rock scene, exchanging most of his heavy vocals to explore different genres of music. He shies away from Zeppelin, but the public is calling for more. An encore. A reunion. Each one goes wrong, between being too stoned and ill timed, the improper rehearsals, the matter not being taken seriously.

Page and Plant starts and Robert finds himself back in his old shoes, polished and new. He enjoyed it this time around, digging up unreleased material and playing it "Unledded."

The masses want more. The golden god, playing the same old tune and having to visit the same old wounds of life. They want the sun to shine like it had been touched again, but the sun shined differently back then. The public dooms him to the same old song he's been fighting to escape, but the song doesn't remain the same, the song has changed.

He's still beautiful. Still Robert Plant. But he's not the same as he was, he's not the bright, young boy performing Stairway to the crowd for the first time, or 50 playing as Page and Plant. He's past that.

December 10th, 2007, O2 Arena, London. He says good evening. One last show. Jason Bonham on drums and backing vocals. John Paul Jones, keyboard and bass guitar. Jimmy Page, electric guitar. And himself, Robert Plant. A legendary show, honored to Ahmet Ertegun.

After, Jones and Jimmy want to continue with a reunion. Robert doesn't, won't. He has a solo career. He's fought to free himself from the golden boy he was. This isn't him anymore. These aren't his songs.

He grows disconnected from his songs of Zeppelin, a lifetime ago. He grows to hate stairway, until it's 2012 at the Kennedy Honors Center. Heart performs Stairway to Heaven with a choir and Jason Bonham. Robert tears up, seeing his best friends son out there. In that moment, he grows to appreciate Stairway: Only if it's sung by a younger voice, though.

The media wants more. The people want more. They will always want more, it's never enough, but he can't sing a song that's lost its meaning to him.

Robert Plant is a man of many times. The golden god we know of now is eternally different from who he was. I will always love him through all walks of life, each and every stage.

#robert plant #led zeppelin #tw child death #i guess

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send-me-a-puffalope · 25 days

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Take two because tumblr deleted my entire goddamn essay of a post— so um I did a bad thing (LONG POST INCOMING)

Okay, so I accidentally came up with a FNAF movie AU where William is the Bruce Wayne but evil of Afton Industries, Vanessa is his heir, and Mike is new to the city and just landed a job as one of the Afton Industries henchmen.

Mike quickly realizes something is up because all the other henchmen around him are acting Abnormal™️ as in, they feel almost drained of their humanity (they all wear animal masks, Mike’s is a fox). His first day, the other henchmen that joined the same day, Jeremy, was super friendly and talkative— only to find that the man had gone completely silent, only speaking in affirmation to orders or replying with very rudimentary yeses and nos. The only other “henchman” who seems to be unaffected by this is a blonde woman in a bunny mask, who he quickly befriends because What The Fuck. We’re the only normal ones here. This is weird as shit right??

What Mike doesn’t know is that that henchman, Vanessa, is the reason he isn’t under the same mind control the others are under. In fact, she isn’t technically a henchman at all. She’s there to keep an eye on the third wave of the latest Afton project to confirm that the product, mind control chips attached to the animal masks the henchmen wear, are working as planned (as a parallel to the animatronics in the FNAF movie being controlled by William). This is all leading up to the end of the week, where Afton Industries is throwing a giant Gala with one plan in mind: to use the mind control chips to give William control over all of the city’s elite.

But Vanessa doesn’t agree with William’s plan, instead fucking with the least eye catching henchman’s chip (Mike) so that he notices something is up. And he does. So they become close, even getting to know each other outside of work because neither of them really had a friend before. When he first sees Vanessa’s face, all that registers in his head is huh. she looks kinda familiar. but he doesn’t connect the dots because he’s new to the city and doesn’t keep up with the rich elite because why would he (plus perhaps Vanessa can pull a superhero disguise and wear glasses or some shit 💀💀💀).

Vanessa inconspicuously seeds information to Mike about how the henchmen are being mind controlled and leading him to make the conclusion that that mind control is being extended during the ever impending Gala at the end of the week. They come up with a plan to kill the main server hub of Afton Industries to break the mind control of the henchmen + prevent the city’s elite from falling under William’s control. But there’s some underlying tension because Mike is completely open about his life and even introduces Vanessa to Abby, his little sister who he basically raised, but he catches on that Vanessa always seems to know a little too much about the ongoing of Afton Industries. Worse still is when he catches Vanessa lying about her past/life as her stories start contradicting each other. He starts realizing that he really doesn’t know anything about Vanessa but she begs him to give her just a little more time and then she’ll explain everything.

Vanessa planned to feed Mike code words instructing him through their plan through their comms so that to others, it just sounded like a normal conversation. Vanessa promises him that even if the plan goes awry, she’ll make sure he’ll be okay. He doesn’t question her how.

The day of the Gala comes around and Mike finds himself conveniently positioned right where he needs to be, in the main lobby of Afton Industries, as security. This is where the Welcoming Ceremony was taking place, introducing the hosts and inviting all the guests to the reception.

But as Mike starts panicking because Vanessa isn’t responding through her ear piece, he hears a familiar voice from the balcony of the lobby. He looks up and makes eye contact with his only friend: Vanessa. It dawns on him then that that was the reason for all Vanessa’s secrecy. She’d been lying to him this whole time. How much of this had she been planning since the beginning? Was she still trustworthy or was she actually working with William? How could Vanessa Afton be the “bad guy” when she’d been his closest confidant since moving to the city?

(Was this just an excuse to put Vanessa in this fit? Absofruitly. I am not immune to woman in dress)

Immediately, Mike catches that Vanessa is keeping up her side of the plan when he hears one of their code words in her speech.

William Afton finds Mike personally after he disrupts the server and grabs him, only to be thrown off by Vanessa, who followed him. -> smth smth plot (i’ll think of it later) -> William Afton gets publicly exposed and arrested. Mike turns to Vanessa and asks what’s going to happen to her? She smiles sadly at him and says it’s going to be okay, she’ll survive. -> setup for sequel for because I cannot think of a story ever without setting up for a sequel

And that’s as much as my silly putty lump of a brain thought of while blindly walking around Las Vegas. Was this all inspired by those two pictures? Yes. Am I regretful? Maybe. Ask me again in like 24 hours *smiles serenely*

#this is so minimally about the animatronics 💀💀💀 but hey i’m here for the putting characters into situations #the way i could change these names and make a completely original story shhhh #vanessa afton #vanessa shelly #fnaf vanessa #william afton #mike schmidt #michael schmidt #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #fnaf AU #fnaf movie AU

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dandywonderous · 9 months

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ROTTMNT Bad Things Happen Bingo #2: Lost Their Voice from Screaming

for @badthingshappenbingo

Fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Characters: Draxum, Leo (the others make minor appearances)

Square: Lost Their Voice from Screaming

Warnings: Major Character Death (canonical), Bad Future Timeline

Notes: The death is offscreen but the fic deals with the direct aftermath so take care. I've put the entire fic under a cut in case you'd rather skip.

This will be up on AO3 tonight unless tumblr deletes my post a second time in which case I will probably be too tired to continue

Draxum has become a father three times in his life.

The first time, of course, was with Michelangelo. The boy had helped (or harassed) him much over the last few months, and at this point his visits were an expected part of Draxum’s routine. Even, if he were honest with himself, an anticipated part of his routine, something he looked forward to the rest of the week.

It was during one of these visits, while Michelangelo was baking cupcakes in his tiny apartment kitchen and chattering away about what he and his brothers had been up to that Draxum recognized the warmth in his chest for what it was. This wasn’t merely his creation - this was his son.

The second time was immediately after their victory against the Shredder.

He had acknowledged the kids as his boys to Lou Jitsu, but that feeling of fatherhood was still missing between him and the other three. That didn’t stop him from opening his apartment to them, because they were exhausted and that pit they called a home was full of rubble and bad memories.

Long after the others were asleep, Raphael sat awake, back to the wall and eyes watching the door and the windows. When Draxum asked him about it, he admitted he felt like he couldn’t sleep - like the moment he closed his eyes, something would hurt his family.

Draxum didn’t bother telling him to sleep. He just sat next to him and promised to keep watch. And when the boy’s head finally listed and came to rest against Draxum’s shoulder, he gained another son.

The third time was months later. Michelangelo had been coming to his apartment regularly for training in his mystic powers, and Donatello had started tagging along. He claimed it was because he had an interest in alchemical compounds, but Draxum had a feeling that wasn’t all. There seemed to be growing tension back home that both boys were desperate to escape.

Draxum didn’t ask. He let Donatello peruse what books he still had at his leisure and allowed him to conduct alchemical experiments in the bathroom (under strict orders not to destroy anything).

The day the boy came to him with his a successful compound, Draxum told him he’d done very well. He received the first genuine smile he’d ever gotten from Donatello, and while he quickly schooled his expression back into something more neutral, Draxum would never forget that moment of pure joy on his son’s face.

Of the four of them, only he and Leonardo were still at odds. He wasn’t hostile, and he accepted Draxum’s presence in the family easily enough, but he kept Draxum at arm’s length, never opening up, never letting down his walls, never offering anything more than the surface level.

Where the other boys had come around, Leonardo still

resists

against the hold of Draxum’s arms, digging his feet into the dirt and straining to be free. He wriggles one arm loose, reaching back toward the smoldering wreckage of the collapsed tunnel, and he screams at the top of his lungs.

“DAD!”

“Leonardo, stop,” he commands, dragging them both back two steps before the child lurches again. “There’s no sense in this.”

“We can’t leave him!” Leonardo insists, struggling as hard as he can. “Dad! DAD!”

“If you go back there you will be killed! Which is exactly what Lou Jitsu did not want.”

“I don’t care! Let me go! LET ME GO!”

He lifts the boy up and ignores how he flails and kicks. If his leg weren’t injured, he might be able to escape, but as it is he’s lacking in his usual force. Only the adrenaline is keeping him upright, Draxum knows. At least his swords are caught between his shell and Draxum’s chest.

He’s still screaming, but Draxum ignores him, looking over his shoulder at Raphael. He has his other brothers tucked under either arm. Michelangelo has retreated entirely into his shell, but Draxum can hear him crying even from here. Donatello is quiet, but he looks seconds from doing exactly the same as Leonardo and running off into the rubble. Raphael himself is silent, staring at the ruins of the tunnel’s entrance in disbelief.

Draxum’s voice is a commanding bark - he has to pull the kids out of their trance and get them out of here. It’s what Lou Jitsu asked him to do, after all, and he will do it.

“Raphael! Take your brothers and go back to the hideout!”

“But… but Pops-”

“Your father is gone,” says Draxum plainly, because they need to understand that. They need to get that through their heads. There is no time to be soft about it.

Raphael flinches. Michelangelo’s wails grow louder and Donatello sags, tears starting to stream down his face.

In Draxum’s arms, Leonardo howls.

“He wanted you boys to be safe and I will make sure you are.” Draxum jerks his head. “Now go! We will be right behind you.”

For a moment he thinks Raphael will resist, too, and he isn’t sure what he will do then because he can’t hold them all. But Raphael relents, lifting Donatello and Michelangelo more securely in his arms before taking off with them both, leaving Leonardo in Draxum’s care.

The boy sags suddenly, going limp in his grasp. Draxum doesn’t trust it for a moment, so he doesn’t let go, though he does lower him to stand on his feet.

“My brothers are gone,” he says. “You can let me go now.”

“So you can run straight in there and get killed?” Draxum scoffs. “I will not.”

He steps back again, dragging Leonardo with him, but still the boy resists. He tries to dig in his heels, but Draxum can tell his leg is starting to hurt too much for it to count.

“I’m not going to die,” he snaps, wrenching his chest to try and escape. “I’m going to save my dad.”

“If you would listen to me,” Draxum hisses, pulling him another few feet back, “you would know your father is beyond saving. And we will join him if we don’t leave now.”

“You must be happy about it,” says Leonardo, and his words sting like acid. “You guys never got along, right? You never cared about him.” His voice is rising again, growing to a shout. “You never cared about any of us!”

“I care about you very much!” Draxum argues, giving the boy a shake. It’s the first time he’s ever told him this, and he doesn’t even feel embarrassed because he just needs Leonardo to see sense. “Otherwise I would just leave you here and be done with it!”

“Then do it!” He kicks one last time. “Let me go! Dad! DAD!”

Draxum doesn’t want to do it, but he can hear the sounds of those monsters as they grow closer; the time Lou Jitsu gave his life to buy them is growing short. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and he’s never been more desperate.

He aims a kick of his own at the large gash in the boy’s shin, and Leonardo lets out a yelp of pain and surprise, folding over Draxum’s arm.

That’s all he needs - he takes the moment while Leonardo is limp and lifts him, then turns and runs.

Leonardo realizes what’s happening, and he tries to struggle but Draxum keeps him pinned to his chest, arms gripped tight. With no other recourse, Leonardo looks up at him and snarls ugly, ugly words.

“You don’t care… You let him die! I hate you! I HATE YOU!”

“Then live to hate me,” Draxum snaps down at him, and that’s all he says as he carries Leonardo far away from the wreckage of the tunnel, as fast as he can.

In his arms, the boy screams and screams and screams, until his voice grows hoarse, until it quiets to a whisper, and he finally gives out.

…

Mrs. O’Neil is waiting for them when they arrive at their hideout - an old basement storm shelter near the ruins of their apartment building. “Oh, baby,” she says softly, putting a hand on Leonardo’s forehead. He doesn’t react - he hasn’t reacted to much at all for over ten minutes now, his eyes staring up sightlessly at the red sky.

“His leg is injured,” Draxum informs her, and her brow creases.

“It wasn’t the krang, was it?” she asks. If it was, they would have to put the boy in isolation to make sure the wound wasn’t infected - hardly a good place for him to be now, in the midst of grief.

Thankfully, that is not the case. “No; there was an explosion and he was struck by the shrapnel.”

“Oh, honey,” she says, stroking his forehead. “We’ll get you patched right up.” Her eyes go to Draxum’s. “The other boys are with April.”

Draxum sets Leonardo down, making sure he’s steady before pulling back his support. He doesn’t say anything, just leans against Mrs. O’Neil and follows her away, the same shell-shocked expression on his face.

Draxum watches them disappear into the small medic center, then makes his way to the sleeping quarters to see his sons.

They’re easy to spot among the huddled humans, thanks to Raphael’s size. He’s sitting against the wall, head leaned back and eyes on the ceiling, tears rolling down face and dripping onto his neck. Michelangelo is still inside his shell, cradled in Raphael’s lap. April is sitting next to Raphael, her arms wrapped around the shivering mess that is Donatello. Draxum can hear the younger boys and April crying from here.

He sits down on Raphael’s other side and runs a hand over Michelangelo’s shell. The boy pokes his head out, eyes puffy and skin crusted with tears. He pops the rest of his limbs out when he sees who it is and climbs into Draxum’s lap, burying his face in the front of his robe. It’s seconds before a fresh round of tears start, but Draxum doesn’t do anything to discourage the clinging.

Next to him, Raphael sniffs, then starts sobbing louder. April looks up, then gives Donatello a gentle nudge; after some maneuvering, they take Michelangelo’s spot in Raphael’s lap, letting Raphael hug them and crying into his plastron.

It occurs to Draxum that these kids are his responsibility now; Lou Jitsu isn’t here for them anymore. Take care of our boys, he’d said, before using mystic force to push them out of the tunnel. He hadn’t meant just today.

They are his, and he will take care of them.

All four of them.

…

The kids eventually fall asleep, and Leonardo still hasn’t returned. Draxum makes sure they won’t miss him, gently laying Michelangelo back in Raphael’s lap, where he and April sleepily curl around each other, before he leaves to go find his last wayward creation.

Mrs. O’Neil hasn’t seen him since she finished patching up his leg, so he has to go hunting. There are a few other humans hiding out here, too, mostly people from the block whose homes were similarly destroyed. They’re all unphased by mutants and yokai by now, and they all know Leonardo, but none of them have seen him. He’s not in the makeshift kitchen or the central eating area, and Draxum would have noticed if he went back to the sleeping quarters.

The foolish boy wouldn’t leave, would he?

Of course he would, Draxum thinks, and hurries for the entrance.

Thankfully, he didn’t go far - as soon as Draxum emerges into the cold night air, he spots the shadowy shape that is Leonardo, huddled in the remains of the building that used to be next door. He had the sense to hide under an overhang, at least, his eyes staring out at the ruins of the city that has always been his home.

Draxum has to climb up a mountain of shifting rubble to get there, cursing the boy’s ability to teleport, before he finally arrives. He approaches cautiously, half expecting Leonardo to run, but it seems like the fight has left him now.

As good as that is for Draxum, it adds to the melancholy air hanging around the whole scene.

“You know you shouldn’t be out here,” he says simply. Leonardo doesn’t so much as look his way. “...How is your leg?”

To that he receives a shrug. Leonardo still isn’t looking at him.

“Are you hungry? There’s still leftover soup in the kitchen.” He’d tried to get the others to eat, but none of them had been interested. It doesn’t surprise him when Leonardo shakes his head. “Still, you should at least come back inside; it’s not safe to stay outside for long.”

Leonardo doesn’t respond to that. He just stares out at the city.

Draxum folds his arms, trying not to let the irritation he feels show in his voice and failing. “Are you this intent on giving me the cold shoulder all night? I’m trying to help you.”

Leonardo’s eyes narrow, and he lets out a long sigh through his nose. He lifts his wrist and pulls up the communicator Donnie made him (the only way they have to communicate long distance since the phone lines went down), typing a message on the holographic screen that he then turns to Draxum.

throat hurts cant talk

Draxum thinks about how the boy screamed and screamed until he couldn’t anymore, and it clicks. Of course his throat would hurt. They’re lucky if he didn’t severely damage his vocal cords.

I hate you!

He shakes the memory of the boy’s words away, focusing on the present moment. He may not be able to do anything else about this awful day, but this he has a solution for.

“Don’t go any further into the city by yourself,” he says. And then he leaves.

He returns to where his possessions are stored in the hideout, hidden behind a barrier spell to keep any nosy humans out. He fishes around until he finds what he’s looking for, then goes to boil water in the kitchen.

Soon enough he’s returning to Leonardo, an old, chipped mug cradled in his hands. It’s precarious trying to climb up to the boy again without spilling, but he manages.

Leonardo looks surprised he came back, but, predictably, he doesn’t say anything, turning his attention back to the sky.

Draxum doesn’t say anything either, instead coming close and sitting down next to him. Leonardo doesn’t react, and he chooses to take that as a positive.

“Here,” he says, holding out the mug. “Drink this.”

For a moment Leonardo only stares at it, but then he slowly takes it in his hands. He gives it a sniff, his snout crinkling in displeasure at the smell.

“It’s a medicinal herbal tea from the Hidden City,” Draxum explains. “Worthless for any large wounds like your leg, but it’s effective at soothing muscle pains, headaches… sore throats.”

Leonardo’s eyes go wide for a moment, then he turns his head away, handing the mug back to Draxum. Draxum takes it before he drops it, and he has to swallow down his protest when he sees Leonardo typing again.

The message this time reads:

give it to someone who needs it

“I am,” says Draxum, and he presses the warm mug against Leonardo’s undoubtedly cold skin. “You need it, so I’m giving it to you.”

The boy hesitates a moment longer, but then exhaustion seems to leech into him all at once, leaving him slumped and shaking. He turns and takes the mug in his hands again, taking a long moment to just feel the warmth.

Then he takes a small sip, and Draxum’s chest loosens.

Immediately Leonardo’s mouth puckers, and Draxum can’t help but chuckle. “The taste isn’t very good, but it’s better than that artificial grape nonsense you humans use.”

Leonardo makes an amused noise and wags his free hand in a maybe gesture. Then he takes another sip, and then another, and his shaking starts to slow down, his posture growing more relaxed.

Draxum sits next to him in companionable silence, watching the eerily silent New York and waiting for him to finish. They can’t see the moon anymore, not with the permanent dust cloud in the sky, but he still knows it’s getting late when Leonardo finally sets the cup aside.

“It’s best if you don’t speak for now,” says Draxum, “but are you feeling better?”

Leonardo gives a slow nod, giving his throat a light rub with his fingers. Then he types a new message on his holoscreen.

hated drinking it tho

Draxum chuckles again. “I thought you liked tea.”

Leonardo makes a face.

not this tea. it tea-rrible

“Ugh, was that a pun? That’s what’s terrible.”

Leonardo actually smirks. It’s small, but it’s there.

Taking advantage of his improved humor, Draxum asks, “What kind of tea do you like, then? I can’t promise I can get it, but I can try.”

The smirk drops off the boy’s face. He hesitates, then shrugs, giving his head a small shake.

“You don’t know?” Draxum guesses, and Leonardo nods. He hesitates again, his fingers flexing over the keyboard of the holoscreen, before he finally types a message.

dad always made it for me

Draxum reads those words, then shifts to look at Leonardo’s face. His eyes are glassy, his lip trembling, and he shivers but not from the cold, this time.

Quietly, Draxum shifts closer and wraps one arm around Leonardo’s shell.

The child breaks - tears that grow into hitching breaths and harsh sobs. He tries to stay quiet, curling in on himself, and Draxum holds him tighter, telling him without words that it’s okay, he’s not alone.

There, at the end of the world, Leonardo cries himself out, and, for the fourth time, Draxum becomes a father.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #bad things happen bingo #lost their voice from screaming #rise leonardo #baron draxum #cw family death #rottmnt bad future #fanfiction

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lyomeii · 2 years

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Yandere Regis Floyen

->warnings: yandere themes, blackmailing?, manipulation(?), tag me if i need to add more

->request by anon! Can I ask some gen hc with regis and max from father I don't want this marriage?

->a/n: sorry for take so long on this, since tumblr delete both of my drafts, i will post regis today and max tomorrow ( or today if i finished him ), for now, enjoy it~

-> his wife died a little after jubellian was born, and of course, his heart was broken but he stayed stronger to raised his little girl

-> and how he met you, the new babysitter who was recently hire by the headmaid, a sweet soul he could say, with your gentle touch on jubellian and smiles makes the little girl laugh more than the usual

-> when he couldn’t take care of jubellian, you were there, holding her little hands with happiness, he felt his cheeks warmth, seeing his daughter interact with you remembering the family he once wished to had, maybe you could help with that

-> took him a while to convence himself about his true feelings, and when does that, he confess his feelings to you during the tea time with his daughter causing a few problems

-> jubellian loves you and she is so happy that you are going to be her new mother/father but you don’t, you never felt anything for regis but a boss-employee relationship but you promised yourself to never make the little girl cry, so you accepted

-> and the second problem is the others servants in the household, they enjoy the new atmosphere and they hope to never return to the previous one

-> and the third being the fact he is a duke, someone who can easily find anything about you, your family, connections, and use it againt you, he didn’t let much a choice, didn’t he?

-> in a couple of weeks, you were married to regis, becoming the new duchess Floyen and now jubellian is you daughter, what a delightful live you now have

-> and regis is willing to kill and destroy anything or anyone to keep it that way

Your new life!

-> nothing much didn’t really change, you still care of jubellian, the difference is that you are now married to her father

-> regis makes sure you are never actually alone, when he is busy with his works, maids and sometimes knights watch you and serve you whatever you need

-> and when regis has time, he makes sure to spend with you and jubellian, according to him, you three need good memories

-> in balls and anything relating to other nobles, regis doesn’t let you get away from his eyes, he already lost amelia, he can’t lost you now

@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost

#yandere headcanon #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere x you #regis floyen x reader #yandere regis floyen #father i don't want this marriage #father i dont want to get married #father i don’t want to get married x reader #father i don’t want to get married imagine #yandere Regis floyen headcanon #yandere manhwa

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fivewholeminutes · 4 months

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so. wembley.

Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this

No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.

It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!

I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).

And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3

When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-

I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.

But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.

I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.

Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-

The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.

The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.

Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.

I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)

Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.

Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3

Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.

All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.

I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3

There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill

Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy

Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤

To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.

And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!

#it was surprisingly hard to write #took a lot of editing and rewriting whole paragraphs and it's still not a proper description of everything i wanted to say #i don't know how to talk about emotions #and i have. a lot of them since wembley #a word of advice: attend concerts. beg for money for them from your family members sleep in tents during rain #or in hostel rooms filled with random people #go for gigs without a place to sleep and spend 4hrs waiting for your bus home in a local mcdonalds #watching drunk guys split their eyebrows on the stairs there #(not now tho now we're boycotting macdonalds #but there are other places open 24/7)#go to gigs alone #but by god. go to them if you are able to and if your health allows you to go #(and yes it is coming from someone with anxiety. i wouldn't travel or sleep in a tent alone for anything else trust me)#it is always worth it. ALWAYS #sleep token

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ofnightshadeandthornyroses · 1 year

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Don't Hide

Paul × fem!reader

AN: reader has affinity for shiny things. Goblin child behavior. Reader also thinks in first and third person chaotic because I do.

AN pt.2: I'm doing the request but Tumblrs on more crack than usual and deleted my draft twice. Take this please as my peace offering.

On vacation from college you decided on Santa Carla. You were aware that you should probably be doing a summer job but your craft business does well on it's own and you really didn't feel like visiting your family. Having to physically see and hear their judgment and harsh comments that's already been omnipresent during your entire time at college.

Now in a cheap motel you open your suitcases and spare cash, fully intending to have fun tonight. You grab your ripped red jeans, mesh long sleeve top, and black tank, hurrying to get dressed and out.

Driving there didn't take long, probably due to the fact you might've broken a few laws. You were exited to finally go somewhere out of the scrutinizing eyes of your teachers or the judging ones of your dorm mate and parents. You find a place to park and wasted no time getting to the entrance.

You slow down, go up the steps, looking around with something probably akin to stars in you eyes. You were practically trembling with excitement at the sights surround you. You couldn't decide what you wanted to do first everything looked fun and it wasn't even all of it. You wanted to check out the ferris wheel, that patch stand, oh that stand has ice cream, oh there seems to be live music going on, and there's stand with pins over there and–!

Okay, slow down. You can do those all with time! You scold yourself, forcing yourself still.

What first? Well probably don't want to carry a bunch of things around all night so you'll come back to those. Your eyes fall back on the icecream stand. Bingo.

Walking away from the stand now happily with your cold, creamy cone in hand you pass the vendors with patches and pins with slight longing but no problem. Towards a section leading further into the board walk you pass another more vendors that you let your eyes scan over for your return. It wasn't a problem really, until your eyes caught sight of something shiny yet again zero in for probably the 30th time.

Again, no problem except this time you couldn't bring your eyes away. It was a necklace with an intricately cut bat with deep read eyes. The bat was mid flight and to its feet was connected a just as detailed blood moon. Touching it revealed that the moon also had little gems in it, explaining its entrancing glittering in the light.

I don't need it now. I'll get it later. I said I would. But that was for things unwearable, it'll be gone before you get back. It's SHINY. Before you even knew it you had payed for the necklace and it was around your neck.

You sigh walking further down the boardwalk. Curse your weakness for shiny things, but it just glints so nicely. Goblin like behavior is what your sister would call this. Your affinity for picking up random objects that stuck your fancy or collecting animal remains such as skulls, exoskeletons, and disembodied wings often earns you scorn from your parents, playful jabs from your sibling, and outright disgust most times from your dorm mate.

After you go on a few rides, your hair now tossed better than you could've done in the mirror, and played a few games, winning a couple small trinkets, (ring toss is fucking rigged) you find yourself at a carousel. Oh my damn Oh my damn Oh my damn fuck yeah.

Unfortunately it was in the middle of a ride at the very moment so with much sorrow you decided to head over to near by stand and get another frozen treat. By the time you got in line the ride was over and you could happily make your way up looking like a kid on a sugar high, which is most probably the case with the tempting stands throughout this wonderland promising cotton candy and other treats.

You picked a horse with blonde hair and blue decorations and latched on with your legs and hastily grabbing for the pole when it jerked to a start, still going at your icecream with one free hand. Leaning on the pole, you looked out at the crowd passing by along with the night sky and aloud the comforting motions of the horse to lull you into to a sense of ease.

Your ears caught the methodical sound of chains over the music accompanied by laughter and boots hitting the metal of the platform, causing you to perk up slightly from your spot. Twisting your head you see two boys come walking out from around the turn along with two others following right behind them. Practically hopping around the carousel they were definitely grabbing attention which their attire could do on it's own. Leather jackets, boots, chains, patches and mesh came your way as you settled back to your spot leaning on the pole.

You let your eyes drift towards them, enjoying the sound of chains and bouncing hair. They're eyes were drifting towards most girls they passed, locking eyes and leaving them staring after them. As they got closer one kept sticking out to you, kinda like when you see a specific item and you try to look at something else but your eyes just wander right back and you feel something tug. Kinda like your necklace, huh. A thought keeps flitting through your mind as you look on, pretty, sometimes accompanied with shiny.

The metal on his jacket and bracelets kept glinting in the lights of the ride as he bobbed through horses and his hair flew around his face looking like it could be either crunchy or fluffy. Hair products maybe? His friends came and went by and you continued looking at him while lazily working on your icecream. You kind of expected him to go right by like the others had but as a pleasant surprise turned to look at you and make that couple seconds of eye contact.

Meeting his gaze and cheeky grin, you gave him a lazy smile and a small wave, a small feeling filling you, before you turned to your icecream and him back towards the others. It was barely even a few seconds before you found your eyes drifting back in his direction just to find his gaze already on you.

Did you slightly panic? Yes. Ogling and making eye contact with someone is one thing. Looking back at them after said eye contact to find them looking like they're ogling you is a whole other. It took you a moment to realize he was making his way back and you had only a second to mentally prepare yourself.

In that second though all you could feel was a tug, something akin to when you would find an epic rock or a shiny bat necklace with moon. That second one is mostly more accurate. While being distracted by the new tug you felt you didn't realize he had made his way to you already.

"Hey there sugar." He said as he took the pole in his hand and swung around to your other side. "I know I couldn't have missed something as sweet as you around here," he leans in "unless you've been hiding from me." His teeth click around a lollipop in his mouth as he rearranges it and smiles that same grin as before. Given your state of being you kind of really hope you come off as sort of casual. "Well I'm not." You barely know what your doing. Is this the flirting my sister foretold? Am I doing it right?

All you know is that sometimes people think you are flirting when you're not and when you are people stear clear. But he seems to be anticipating something as his grin get bigger and the candy clicks against his teeth as he rearranges it again. His hair looks fluffy this close up but then again– hair products. Could be crunchy. No, stop.

"Not what, sugar?" You finish up your cone and say "From around here." Thank goodness your voice actually seems to be steady. Giving a cheeky grin yourself, you continue with "Also I don't hide." Lies. You're literally hiding from your parents right now. He moves the candy in his mouth again and your eyes follow.

Suddenly two thoughts popped into your head: hey we stopped and do it. Usually you're mentally beating your brain with a bat to prevent any intrusive thoughts that pop up publicly that could get you into trouble. Tonight though your brain seemed to be hyped up on the little adrenalin punch this interaction has been gifting you. As he goes to speak you grab the stick from his mouth, startling him. You hop off your horse and turn to him, "You ever wanna find me I'll be around here the next few days. Remember, I don't hide, so don't you go and start." You pop the candy in you mouth before hopping off. What the fuck am I doing.

You head out the gate with as fast as a pace as you can with out looking like you running away, feeling all kinds of giddy and anxious. Glancing backwater putting in some distance with the sight of what ever tragedy or miracle just happened (yet to be determined) you see him leaning against the rail with his friends talking. There's one thing that make your steps stutter before continuing though, he's already looking at you.

#the lost boys #fanfic #fanfiction #paul the lost boys #the lost boys x you #paul x reader #the other boys are practically in the background #marco the lost boys #david the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #the lost boys x reader #fiction

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wingedwheel · 24 days

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might delete this later for oversharing reasons but looking back i can admit that december was fully so bad for me likeee. starting off strong i got black out drunk and woke up having realized i was trans like the alcohol opened some crazy pandora's box in my mind. promptly had the freak out of the century about this and closeted myself like? further everywhere including online in places where no one irl sees like here. like i used to just not put my pronouns in my bio and i changed them all to she/her????? crazy move in retrospect. cried for a week + about basically everything and anything. completely fucked my grades. convinced my life was over was actively trying to come up with ways to re-repress this knowledge. right. awesome. anyways then it looked like my grandpa was gonna die (he's better now but it was scary) and meanwhile i was driving to toronto with my friend who knew none of this to go see great comet and fuck around for 2 days. during reading week btw because we just believed in ourselves like that when we booked our tickets for some reason. and then i came back and had my first panic attack in years during my calc final and failed it and cried for 5 hour sstraight bc it fucked my grade in the class completely. and then i did 3 more finals. and by this point i wanted to go home so bad it was unreal. and also i was making doomer posts abt my transness every single day in my tumblr drafts but remaining closeted on here for no real reason. anyways then i went home and nothing got better but there was no great comet there. and then we went to see my grandparents for christmas and we still thought my grandpa was maybe dying at this point even though it was less likely than a couple weeks before and everyone in my family was so stressed and mad at each other. and meanwhile the only thing i could think about even amidst much more important things was that if i ever came out at the very least most of the people there would never believe me or understand or even try. or love me the same again. and because i am not brave or strong of heart that shit scares me so bad. and everything sucked btw. EDIT oh i forgot that when i got back home from my grandparnets after christmas my two best friends, who are dating, one of whom i had an extremely lifedestroying crush on before they got together and who was also at this time the only person i was out to, decided to engage in the most diabolical third wheeling they could possibly dream up for no reason. which i just let them do of course

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nena-96 · 4 months

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HP Rec Fest @hprecfest

Prompt #24: A Holiday Fic:

Do You Believe In Magic? By @be11atrixthestrange

[ Romione, Ron/Hermione , [ T ] complete]

Summary: Let me tell you a tale, dear reader, about a woman I once met on a train. Her name was Hermione Granger, and although intelligent and driven, she didn't believe in magic, not even on Christmas. In fact, she hated everything about Christmas — snowstorms, travel delays, holiday carols, and worst of all, Hallmark movies. Imagine her confusion when, after our chance encounter on that train, her life transformed into a romantic comedy, forcing her to live the very tropes she hated. Fortunately, what she lacked in holiday spirit, she made up for in ambition, and she was determined to make sense of her nightmare and find a way out. But lucky for me, dear reader, I am also ambitious, and I was determined to have a little fun.

Tags: Fluff/Angst, Enemies to Lover, Friends to Lovers, Meet-Cute, Coffe shop AU, Mutual Pining, ROMioneCOM

Reasons why I love this fic: Gosh, there is just so much that about this fic, I’m afraid I’ll end up spoiling it for you all! 😩 😩 this fic is jam PACKED with holiday spirit! From beginning to end, I can say that the first time I read this on Tumblr, that I fell in love. I’m usually not one to read RomCom’s BUT I’ll admit that after reading this I realized I love them! This author is one of the most talented fanfic writer ever to grace us with her talent, she never fails to make me laugh and this fic will surely have you laughing. It’s just so amazing, plus the creativity of having a narrator through the fic is brilliant. Also, it’s just so FORKING beautiful, 😉 you’ll understand when you read it, come on please check it out 🥺

I hope you get yourself a cup of Christmas Spirit if not this fic will surely warm your heart!❤️

As always Happy Reading and don’t forget to leave a comment to tell this amazing author how much you forking love her story! …. You know what I’m gonna revisit this story again right now!

This fic will leave you believing in magic (and ginger forearm’s of a certain Ron Weasley 🔥 maybe invest in a bottle of water….or two )

(I’ll link the extra fic the deleted scene below as well as another cute fic that’s also holiday-ish, below 👀)

Please go read this holiday fic ❤️

Extra links/fics:

They Found Their Magic this is 🔥 deleted scene that is from the fic Do You Believe In Magic? And honestly in my opinion it’s a great fic and not just for the smut but the magic throughout each line.

Now, the third fic that is honestly so amazing is a little fic that I believe inspired the DYBIM, and also has me wanting to find a cafe close by and order a drink.

Double Hazelnut Almond Milk Macchiato

That fic is so adorable, it’s a meet-cute/coffee shop AU it’s just ❤️ 😍 I always always go back to read this (not just during the winter!)

#be11atrixthestrange #ron weasley #romione #hermione granger #Romione fic rec #hp rec fest #ronmione #ron x hermione #hermione x ron

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byierficrecs · 1 year

Note

not sure how it's possible but your work keeps getting prettier and prettier! can i ask what your process/method is for creation?

hello! sorry it's taken me a little to reply :S first of all, thank you!! that's very sweet ^-^ anyway, i'm not sure this will be particularly insightful :( but here goes nothing:

step 1: check the form for new submissions!

and then delete them all >:) ,,,but not without copying the information to a variety of spreadsheets. behold the madness:

in this one i copy the information that was submitted as it is.

these are where i rearrange the information so a) my brain can understand it and b) so that i can copy/paste stuff while making graphics and at the time of posting.

the first one is for the captions i attach to every tumblr post, and the second is the alt text for the images. there's a third one for twitter, but it's the same as the tumblr one.

and this one is where i keep track of all the steps i follow!

spreadsheet: copying the information from the forms

proofread: open the ao3 work to quickly check that someone didn't sneak explicit stuff or something like that

read and graphic: self-explanatory

captions and alt text: registering the information in the tables i showed before

twitter and tumblr: scheduling the posts to go up

(3 and 4 are inverted, but i'm too lazy to change it now x.x also, notice how they are (mostly) arranged in groups of three; before i even proofread things, i roughly decide the general aesthetic of the graphic: dark, pastel or colourful)

i do this almost every night. since people usually submit stuff in bulk, i often spend one or two hours simply sorting through the forms.

step 2: read the stories!

i usually read a story, then make the graphic immediately after. this is so i don't mix things up and the story is fresh in my very-forgetful mind~ while i read, i try to imagine things as they happen and pick at least one element i want to include in the graphic.

for instance, for this one (post), i wanted a duck somewhere. evidently, it ended up being a very minor detail but there they are! ducklings! :]

step 3: try to imagine the graphic

this is admittedly the hardest part tbh. i stick to my statement: i am not an artist. give me a minute and i will come up with a decently fleshed-out story idea. art or visual aspects are a different tale x.x some days my creativity leaves me altogether and i just stare into space for hours with absolutely no clue of how to make a graphic for one story.

hence why i rely so much on inspiration. some days i ravage my bookshelf, some days i google "spider book cover", some days i browse spotify and look at the album art and many days i end up scrolling through the canva templates section for hours until i see something that sparks an idea.

this one (post) is random. i was stumped on what to do and then i glanced at the video i had on the background and that was that.

i look at anything and everything for inspiration,,, again, i have no idea how artists do this x.x not to imply that they don't struggle (i'm sure they do), but i'm genuinely bad at this,,, especially since i try to make all the graphics as unique as possible; i like flowers, they are pretty and go well with most stories, but i think it'd be quite boring if everything i made had flowers :S

step 4: make the graphic

anyway, when i (finally) have an idea, i go on canva and get down the first element i had in mind, or the colour i want to use, or the general composition,,, anything. sometimes the only thing i've thought about is the text.

and then i just go from there, often with no plan or ending idea in mind :S

some graphics are simple and i can get them done in two hours, some are complex and i get them done in ten hours. perfectionism is how my brain is wired and i always feel like i need to bring things to perfection, so i tweak everything a lot even if i know i could get away with leaving some stuff as it is.

alas, i try to have fun during the process and sometimes i surprise myself with making something i am super proud of!

like this one! (post). as you can see, there are a bunch of layers and details. i went in with literally no plan but i kept adding stuff until it felt good :]

it's not as simple as just sticking some of canva's assets together, though. i often have to do a lot of editing. everything in that tunnel, for instance, was just lineart (?) with no option to give it a background colour, so i had to go in with my limited artsy knowledge and paint things until they looked the way i wanted.

these are all the different canva assets i used in that one + a finn silhouette. i'm trying not to use too many silhouettes because, like flowers, it's easy and i often gravitate to that but no >:( i shan't fall prey to the impulses.

speaking of silhouettes,,, there must be an easier way to do it, but the software i use (gimp; it's free x.x) is a little confusing to me so i just end up "tracing" over the outline of photos i like.

in the process, i tend to go all,,, frankenstein.

i chopped off finn's arm in the first one :( but then i gave him a jacket for the second one because his silhouette looked cold ^-^ (also gave noah will-hair). third one i just,,, mirrored the other arm x.x 1st story || 2nd story || 3rd story

other minor changes i often have to do is recolouring stuff and the like

again, these are edited with gimp and i'm sure there are weird errors, but i felt the story needed something softer (post).

some elements i actually find from other free source (?) websites, but it's rare.

last, but not least, sometimes i do try my hand at art x.x i'm not sure i'm good in the slightest, but it's been somewhat fun to try. i tend to look at artists i like, mainly for colour palettes because i never struggle with the graphics but i get stuck when trying to draw :S

for instance, the colours in this one (post) are all inspired by the second artwork in the tweet.

step 5: double check before posting

confession: yesterday i forgot to add the author's name to a graphic. there are at least three graphics in this account that are missing the "ratings" altogether. sometimes, there are minuscule mistakes that could've been easily spotted and fixed and i just,,, didn't see them.

i often catch a million things like that while making the graphics, but things do slip at times and i end up thinking about them for weeks x.x so i double and triple check everything and i never catch everything, but i try :S

i try to get my brother to help me a little, but the dingus always says everything is okei and goes back to his shenanigans >:( he is an actual artist so it's all the more frustrating but alas, there's nothing i can do about it x.x

step 6: schedule things for posting

uh,, not much to say about this. i just add the graphics, copy the information from the spreadsheets i showed you, then add all the links and tags and leave things be :]

except,,, i don't. i move on to something else and then i go back to check for mistakes and i keep looking for errors and i sometimes change things last minute x.x

the little detail in the corner where mike is screaming? that was added a minute the thing went up,,, (post)

it's uh,, overwhelming. i know i overthink way too much (about my writing, too), but it's been ten years of getting anxious about these things so i'm not sure it'll stop anytime soon :(

the little comments you guys leave really help though! so thank you for that :]

step 7: post the thing and "rest"

again, i continue to search for errors after i post, but unless it's a big thing (like the aforementioned "i forgot to add the author's name" moment from yesterday) i force myself to leave the post as it is. my brain hates me for it, but it's the one thing i manage to do to ease my anxiety x.x

so, with the post up and big errors mended, i get to rest! for a bit! and then i have to do it all over again!

this entire process (step 1 excluded) takes around 4-6 hours (or more) so by the time i post something, i'm already late at making the next graphic :S hence why i usually take a couple free days every few graphics.

i've also been really sick lately (covid + randomly passing out because of overarching health issues) so things take a bit longer :(

it's fun though! i'd never tried my hand at any visual stuff and some graphics are admittedly lackluster, but sometimes i surprise myself with some very pretty things i make :]

in addition to the ones i've already shared, i'm quite proud of these graphics~ 1st story || 2nd story || 3rd story || 4th story || 5th story || 6th story

plus, i get to talk to a lot of nice people, read/share wonderful stories, and more importantly, do something nice for authors! so it's all worth it, i think :]

random, but i'm not sure i'll ever get to use this little guy so i want to share him :D

anyway, i could continue to procrastinate for quite a while but i have to (gues what!) go make today's graphics x.x shoutout to all the authors whose stories i randomly featured here; please check all their stories as they are all amazing.

@itsromeowrites, @ghoulsanderson, @wiseatom, @eggo-owl, @smoosnoom, @byeler, @bookinit02, @lilacline001, @astrobei, @voulezvulcan, @sevensided

i'm going to take a nap now. apologies if, after all this, i didn't even answer your question.

personal blog || support me on ko-fi x.x

#💌

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emmedoesntdomath · 9 months

Text

baby’s first fic exchange

I wanted to have this posted last night, but unfortunately, that didn’t happen, so here we are. I’m just going to start from the top, and work my way until now.

so, I tried running my first exchange back in february, before I even had an operating tumblr account. I set it up, I opened the sign ups…and then immediately panicked and took it all down, before anyone could see anything. I decided I was way over my head, and firmly swore to never try that again, ever.

(fun fact- emme doesn’t know how to keep her promises to herself.)

flash forward two months, to april, and a friend convinces me to create an actual tumblr account. she says it can be small, I don’t have to do anything with it, I could just be mutuals with her, and then talks me out of deleting it immediately, too. I make it through the first two-ish weeks essentially white-knuckling it, not knowing what to do, not talking to anyone, just reblogging parkner posts because that’s what I came here to do, okay.

and then I made that stupid post about wondering if anyone had any newsies asks.

and then crystal reblogged it.

suddenly, I was knee-deep in this fandom again; talking to people, making headcanon posts with @sparkedblaze, ranting about history until people took notice. and it kind of just,,, kept going??? I was sitting there the entire time, confused but having the time of my life, waiting for the other shoe to drop and for everything to go away again. and it didn’t. it SPIRALED.

at some point, we got close to the end of our headcanon posts, and I remember thinking, well, now what I am I going to do? I hadn’t really been posting new works, was stuck firmly in a writer’s block, and was bored. (bad things happen when emme’s bored.) and a tiny voice in the back of my mind whispered- fic exchange?

and suddenly we were doing a fic exchange.

on the first day that I officially opened the sign ups, we got fifteen. FIFTEEN. I remember, because I was with my friends and just staring at my phone in shock. that, of course, grew to THIRTY SEVEN SIGN UPS. WHICH GREW TO FOURTY TWO WRITTEN WORKS. WHICH LEADS US TO LITERALLY TODAY. WHAT.

it was a two months of absolute joy, guys. and throughout that entire process, I was figuring out the minor details behind the scenes, having so much fun and occasionally freaking out to @sparkedblaze. it was a definite learning experience, and I legitimately can’t wait until next time. it’s going to be even better than the first, and I will guarantee that.

now for the fun part, since we’re done with the stories.

first of all, thank you so so so so much to everyone who signed up and participated. it was such a joy to work with you all, and then get to see what you created. I know a lot of you at this point, and it felt like one big party most of the time. I can’t wait to do it again <3

second of all, an even bigger thank you to those who tried to participate, but couldn’t. there were a couple of you that couldn’t get an AO3 account in time, or we couldn’t figure out an immediate solution, and thank you so much for being willing to join us, and for your patience with me. I am very excited to see you all in our next events.

third, to our lovely pinch hitter @ill-say-anything-i-hafta. you stepped in with exactly a week to write a fic, and gave us something beautiful. I owe you so much for that, and I’m so eternally grateful to you. I am waiting anxiously to see what you do next, my friend.

fourth, to @thatoneandlonelyemo2005. mack and I tossed headcanons back and forth so many times during this exchange, and I legitimately would not have the fics that I did without him. <333

and- of course- @sparkedblaze. you wrote pinch hits, listened to my freak outs, begged to help more, told me it was going to be okay, and yelled at me when I needed a break. you have done so much for this, and honestly, you deserve the majority of the credit for the exchange’s success. I owe you literally everything. thank you so much for all you do. know how much I appreciate and adore you, please <3

see you all next time. thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

#newsies #emme’s bad ideas

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planetkiimchi · 10 months

Text

ten things i hate love about lee | l.t

pairing: ten x fem implied!reader, highschool au, non idol!au, academic rivals

warnings: pg13, used a few curse words (fuck once for emphasis)

word count: 5.9K

summary — ten lee is practically perfect in every way. good for him, because you don’t care. except that he’s outshining you in areas you’ve never been outdone in before, and you hate him for it. maybe the reason you hate him is not because he’s talented, but because of how you’re falling for him.

a/n: thank you @ssunnae for beta reading the last part <3 i accidentally deleted my work on tumblr editor, had to try and copy and paste from docs, realised my docs wasn't the latest updates version, tried to restore the last bullet point from tumblr (which i had just tried to delete thinking i’d just use the docs version) when making this. it was hell. however, i did have a lot of fun playing with the chinese parts! please enjoy.

New year, new you. The careful arrangement of your stationery in your pencil case and the neat stacks of books in your bag are all leading up to one thing really. This year, this year is going to be your academic comeback.

#1: His academic prowess.

Now the thing is, when you say "academic comeback" you're not really talking about going from failing to passing. You're actually already at the top of the class. It's just that there's a certain boy called Ten Lee who constantly puts you on edge.

You're constantly competing in everything that you do now. Last time, you couldn't really care less if you were second or third in class, because you could run circles around most of the people during physical education (PE) class, play the piano semi-proficiently, and carry a tune.

Then, the year that you turned fifteen, a new boy transferred to your school.

He was Thai and had a deceivingly cute smile, and at first you couldn't wait to be friends with him.

"Hi! I'm Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, but you can call me Ten. Because I'm a ten out of ten in everything I do!" was how he had introduced himself.

And honestly, it was a little cheesy, but you thought he was all the cuter for it. Especially because he had clarified the Thai system of nicknames and explained that it really was his name, not just a joke to boast about himself.

So that was fine, up till the point when everyone started comparing you to him.

When he got first in class for math, you were surprised but not disappointed. You had done your best, and since you hadn't studied that much anyway. you were proud of your solid understanding. Besides, you had seen how much he had studied and worked for his grades. It was understandable to you.

But not to everyone else.

Not when he could keep up with you during gym class. He said that he did martial arts, which obviously made a lot more sense, but his stamina was scarily good. It was insane how much he trained and the discipline he had, and your parents started calling you out for it.

"Why aren't you studying?" They would ask. "Didn't the new boy, whose first language isn't even English, do better than you in Literature? It's probably because you don't work hard enough." It was the first time in your not-very-long life that you realised you actually had to start studying and not just submit homework on time.

It was a realisation you could have done without, but it was starting to eat into you. Your friends would throw in teasing remarks from time to time about how "Ten Lee was so smart and hahaha Y/n you finally have a competitor!" without consideration for the fact that you didn't want a competitor. You were perfectly fine cruising through high school and you didn't need someone to put into perspective your talents.

You had been the prodigy for so long you couldn't comprehend someone threatening your status.

Getting used to it took a while. And by "a while", you meant three years. But this year, you were going to be eighteen. You were going to become legal, and you had new worries to think about.

Like adulting, and drinking, and several other things like when were you going to get a house or pay your parents back for your car? Trivial matters seemed to occupy your mind a lot, but it was all similarly linked to proving yourself in the eyes of your peers again.

Also, you missed being validated.

Speaking of which.... "Hey there. I'm... supposed to be sitting here?"

That voice sounded familiar, who was it? As you looked up from your phone, you caught sight of a very familiar, annoyingly handsome face. Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul.

The universe must have been conspiring against you, because there was no way your luck was this bad. In a room with 20-odd teenagers, you still ended up with Ten, of all people? Seriously?

You gave him a stiff but polite smile (mostly to show him that you weren't above having manners either) and went back to fidgeting with your pen and trying your best to ignore his presence.

Sitting next to Ten was the worst experience of your life. When you previously a minimum of two seats away from him, how studious he was didn't bother you quite as much.

But it was a little more difficult to ignore the constant scribbling he was doing in his notebook (and they were good, neat notes; you peeked). His quiet confidence should have been contagious, but it was slightly disarming.

You were about to confidently explain why the work done against friction in your physics problem was 30.0 joules, when he lightly tapped your worksheet and said under his breath, "You missed one step. It's 27 joules."

Lo and behold, as soon as you looked at what he was pointing to, you realised he was right. Your skin coloured and you shook your head, lowering your hand as your teacher turned to look at you.

"Yes, Y/n? Would you like to answer the question?"

"It's alright," you mumbled softly. "I realised I missed something out."

The embarrassment seeped into your skin like poison, making you feel more and more terrible throughout the day. It wasn't the first mistake you had made, but that somehow made it worse. It made you wonder if previously Ten had noticed all your mistakes, and thought you were careless and silly.

You were still thinking about it at the end of the school day, as you collected your books and stashed it back into your bag, too tired to think about organising it.

"See you tomorrow," Ten smiled at you, waving as he left. Oh, how you hated the unreasonable way you disliked him.

#2: His chivalry.

"Good morning." Being greeted by Ten in the morning was one of those things you could do without. But it had been a good morning so far, and you weren't going to let him ruin that.

"Good morning," you replied, reaching for the door that both of you were standing in front of.

He beat you to it, opening the door before you could and gesturing for you to go first. You did, but with a slight huff, trying not to let it show how annoyed you were that you hadn't been faster.

It was a good morning though, he was right.

Firstly, your Chinese teacher was sick and not in school, meaning you had a free period. You and Yangyang decided to go to the library during your free period, happily speaking in Chinese all the way there.

Obviously, your teacher had assigned work, but the quiet confines of the library allowed you to be productive as you and Yangyang listened to music through your headphones (and his Airpods. Rich boy).

The hour passed uneventfully, and you headed back to class, refreshed from the cool air of the air-conditioned library.

Secondly, it was Literature period. You were currently on the topic of poetry, and though some of the poems made little to no sense to you, "Five ways to kill a man" was one of the most interestingly satirical poems you'd read.

Analysing poems was not your forte, but listening to people give their interpretations of poems and seeing the influence of their worldview on their interpretation was definitely intriguing.

Time flew by, and before you knew it, it was time for break.

You would gladly and easily have slid back into the rhythm of ignoring Ten completely, except he suddenly seemed determined to be everywhere in your life.

As you queued up for your food, he moved back, allowing you to order first. When you went back to class, he pulled your chair out for you to sit. When you dropped your pencil and bent down to pick it up, he covered the edge of the table so you wouldn't hurt your head.

What was wrong with him? Why was he going out of his way to be so nice?

Ten was a nice guy, there was no denying that. Even when he was constantly overshadowing your achievements, he never bragged about it, especially not to your face. But never before had he gone out of his way three consecutive times to be nice to you.

Something had to have been up. Maybe he had had too much sugar in his coffee, and was channeling the energy rush through being nice. Maybe he had been dared to do so. Maybe-

"Earth to Y/n. Are you okay? You've been staring at the same math problem for five minutes now without lifting your pen."

You blinked rapidly and looked at Ten, then back down at your paper. He was right (again). It was an easy question, but you were so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn't even started it yet.

Hurriedly, you put your pen to paper and began writing, trying to forget how caught up you had been in your thoughts of Ten.

#3: His generosity.

After a week of sitting next to Ten, his mannerisms became quite commonplace. You got used to his greetings each morning, coming to enjoy the positive way they started your day.

His smile and the way he threw his head back when he laughed — you grew used to it, to like it, even. He brought cheesy humour and dad jokes to class sometimes, muttering them under his breath and being surprised when you replied.

Slowly, your dynamic with him shifted from tolerance to acceptance, and his prominent existence in your life grew more and more bearable.

Take the time you bumped into him at the coffee shop near school, for example. You had left home early, as per usual, and were on your way to grab a cup of coffee from your favourite place just next to the school.

The shop was a small little place along the road that experienced high traffic in the mornings and afternoons when school ended. Students and teachers alike frequented the place, and you were no exception.

Like clockwork, you made your way there for your usual cappuccino (you liked milk) in the wee hours of the morning as the sun groggily rose. As per your usual morning routine, you were about to order your drink when you stumbled and bumped into the person in front of you.

Cursing your clumsiness, you immediately apologised. The person turned around, and you came face to face with none other than Ten Lee. You had been coming to the shop every schoolday for one and a half years and not once, had you seen Ten order anything from the shop. You’d never seen him step foot in it, nor bring a cup of the fresh coffee into class to savour.

It was so out of the ordinary that you froze, not quite sure what to do. Thrown off by the lack of habitual routine, it was all you could to pull yourself together to deliver your order.

“So sorry about that. I’ll pay for your coffee,” Ten told you, and the cashier nodded before you could protest. You wanted to tell him that really, it was fine, and it was definitely your fault, and could he please stop being such a gentleman?

But the words got caught in your mouth, and you stared dumbfoundedly at him as he paid.

Feeling a bit guilty and slightly awkward, you moved along down the queue, reaching out to grab your order. Thankfully, Ten didn’t try to initiate any conversation, and slowed down his pace when you briskly walked away.

That was, well. Perhaps not the best example of an encounter with Ten that was bearable. But you did understand his well-meaning intentions and were starting to get that maybe that was just what he was like.

After all, Ten’s generosity did seem to come intrinsically. He never failed to offer a pen when someone needed to borrow one, or to buy someone a gift when it was their birthday. (That was actually another thing you’d noticed. He remembered things about people.)

Once, you overheard him talking to Xiaojun about the upcoming NCT 127 concert. Xiaojun's bias was Jaehyun, and when Ten was buying them tickets, he'd purposely selected the category of restricted view seats that would be nearer to Jaehyun.

At the time, you didn't really think much of it, but thinking back on it, Xiaojun must have felt so loved to know that someone noticed his preferences like that. Ten's thoughtfulness in his gifts (not just giving costly, expensive and useless items) was something else that made you like him, just a little.

#4: Him being multilingual.

February 22nd was probably the first day that you didn't get greeted by Ten at the door. It was funny how over the course of a month, you'd quickly become accustomed to saying good morning to him. Although it was only two words, they did help to start your day on the right foot.

You had read somewhere that it took 59-70 days to form a habit. It might only have been about 50, but you had come to form the habit of greeting Ten each morning.

So when Ten was busy on a phone call that morning, you couldn't help but to notice that he seemed to be speaking in Thai. You had to confess that even after three years of knowing Ten, you had never heard him speak in his native language before.

His English was extremely good, and the accent could not be associated with his Thai origins, so the way he sounded in Thai was quite foreign to you.

"Y/n, why do you look so out of it today?"

"Hm?" You shook your head, shaking yourself from your trance to say hello to your friend Kun. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking."

"What about?"

Ten Lee? You couldn't possibly tell Kun that. You'd sound like a silly little highschooler with a crush on your classmate! Instead, you shrugged and gave as vague of an answer as you could. "Projectile motion..."

Kun nodded, unconvinced. But he didn't press you for details, instead choosing to switch to Chinese, suspecting that you wanted to talk about Ten without him realising.

“Zhe shi yin wei li yong qin ma？” Is this because of Ten Lee?

“Ng!” You replied unhappily. “Wo zen me mei gan jue dao zi ji wu yi zhong xi huan shang le ta ne?” How could I have not realised myself unconsciously falling for him?

"It happens," Kun replied, not unkindly. "After all-"

"Wo hen you mei li a," Ten interjected. I have a lot of charm. You half-flinched, half-gasped. Since when could Ten speak Chinese? Yes, you were well aware that he could speak Thai, English and Korean fluently, but nobody had told you that he could speak Chinese!

If you had known, you would have saved yourself so much embarrassment. Luckily, Kun was as surprised as you, meaning he hadn't deliberately tried to put you on the spot when switching languages.

Oh, his multilingual brain was too much for you to bear. How were you going to explain yourself? You had basically just indirectly confessed your undying love for Ten in the least subtle way possible.

You buried your face in your hands to hide the blush spreading over your cheeks, and Kun patted your back comfortingly, trying to tell you that it was okay (it wasn't).

Just then, Yangyang of all people had to walk past.

Of course, the nosy boy wanted to know what had just happened. Kun pulled him aside, gently explaining under his breath the absolutely mortifying situation you were in, while you tried to ignore the amused look you were sure was on Ten's face.

"Are you done sulking yet?" He asked, the light-heartedness in his tone somehow making things worse. He obviously didn't understand how humiliated you were feeling.

"... No." You pouted and turned over so that you didn't have to face him, drowning out the sounds of Yangyang's laughter.

"Zumindest kann er kein Deutsch," he offered.

"It doesn't matter if he can't speak German," you groaned. "Neither can I, really! Ahh zhen bu hao yi si!" You cry into your sweater. This is so embarrassing!

Wait a second... you don't own a sweater.

Reluctantly, you sat up and looked at the sweater, checking for a name of some sort. Written on the tag of the sweater, in cursive, was Ten's name.

Of-fucking-course. He probably just draped it over you while you were wallowing in your sorrow, and you didn't realise because you were too busy being embarrassed.

"You can keep it," Ten supplied helpfully. "I've got plenty anyway."

You didn’t know why, but you were glad it smelled like him.

#5: His arms.

It was late when you left school that evening. Your extracurriculars had dragged longer than they were supposed to, and the sun was already setting by the time you climbed into your car.

It wasn't the first time that you were leaving school late in the evening, but you still felt like there was someone watching you, or following you. Afraid to draw attention to yourself, you quickly started the engine and drove off towards your house.

You were maybe fifteen minutes away from home when you realised that a car behind you had been following you for the past fifteen minutes. Instead of going home by the usual route, you turned left instead. (You were probably going to get lost due to your terrible sense of direction, but it was fine.)

The car followed.

You took another left, hoping against hope that it would finally stop tailing you.

But it didn't.

Nervous and unsure what to do, you noticed with a start that the street you were on was oddly familiar. Where had you seen it before... Oh, that was right. Ten's street was on the left. You'd seen it on his Instagram and thought it was unfairly good for photo taking.

With one hand on the wheel and your fingers shaking, you dialed Ten's number and turned left.

"Hello?" His voice sounded warm and inviting, and you wished you could be next to him right at that moment.

"Are you home? Can- can you open the door, please?" You asked, voice trembling. Ten didn't reply for a moment, but you heard his footsteps over the call and breathed a sigh of relief. Surely he would say yes....

"What's going on, Y/n?" He asked, voice hardening. He sounded annoyed, angry, even. It was not an emotion you were used to attributing to Ten. He always seemed happy all the time, and if he were mad because you were calling him, you didn't know where else to go.

"I think someone's following me. And I'm on your street. If the lights in your house are on, I'll be able to spot you," you forced yourself to say.

"Okay." Without asking any more questions, you saw the side gate of a house open. You abruptly came to a halt, trying to ignore the screeching of brakes as the car behind you struggled to come to a stop as well. You threw open the door and shut it behind you, fingers shaking as you tried to lock it and ran into Ten's house, stumbling into his arms as he hurriedly locked the door behind you.

"Didn't know where else to go," you mumbled, your legs turning into jelly as you shook nervously in his arms.

#6: His art.

It took a while before you felt alright again. It came slowly, as Ten handed you a mug of hot chocolate and sat you down on the couch. Every one of his moves was slow, cautious, careful not to jar you and gently bring you back to your senses. You hugged the sweater tighter around yourself, curling up and wiggling your toes, glad he did not mention that the sweater you were wearing was his.

Neither of you spoke, and instead you let your gaze linger over the vastness of the inside of Ten's house. You'd never been in it before, but even though it didn't feel sprawlingly big, it felt open and spacious, with plenty of space for creation, and more importantly, creativity.

Art was everywhere into the house, imbued in the very spirit of it. The mug in your hand was glazed, and you could feel the untouched base of the mug had something etched into it. If you flipped it over, you would have seen Ten's Thai name engraved there, a mark of his own work.

The wall was covered in wallpaper, but the wallpaper was blank, and acted as a giant canvas. On some edges, there were doodles in bold black marker, something he must have done mindlessly when he was bored. On the other sides, there were impulsive brush strokes drawn in large arcs, some dry and opaque, some more translucent, and some that were just delightfully textured.

It drew you to it, making you feel at home even in the house with all its modern furniture. The rug beneath your feet felt like his work as well, with the cow pattern on it reminiscent of his unique art style.

"Are you alright?" Ten asked, breaking the silence.

You would have liked to stay quiet for a little longer, absorbing all the little pieces of Ten that had slowly been absorbed into the house, to learn everything that made him him. But perhaps it was the art itself and the way that it made you feel that caused the words to spill and heave out of you like a waterfall.

You couldn't tell if you hated or loved the way you felt vulnerable and willing to overshare in the atmosphere that he had created, but when Ten gently smiled at you to go on, you decided that things could most definitely be worse.

"This guy was following me, and I didn't know where to go, so I tried to shake him off and realised that I was near your house and then I got scared and tried to call you and you picked up and well. I didn't know where else to go." The words tumbled out of your mouth, and you couldn't stop yourself from rambling.

"Hey. Are you alright?" Ten inched closer towards you, setting his open palm facing upwards on his thigh, inviting you to hold his hand. As soon as you reached out towards him, he clasped your hand tightly and comfortingly and said nothing for a few moments.

When you spoke, his smile had dropped, and you knew he was trying to hide his shock at the man following you. It was creepy, yes, and you had been so afraid, but you had always kind of known that this was an experience you would go through at least once in your lifetime. However, for a man, this could well have been one of his worst nightmares.

"I think I'm okay now."

#7: His willingness to help.

"You know, I won't be there every time if you're getting chased. You've got to learn how to protect yourself. I can teach you martial arts, if you'd like."

The offer came from nowhere, so you were a little surprised, but also inclined to take him up on it. It really was going to be a problem, and even if it wasn't, it was always good to learn a new skill from someone who's proficient in it.

You nodded numbly.

"Want me to drive you home?" You shook your head, reaching into your pocket for your phone to let your parents know where you were. Knowing them, they were probably worried out of their minds because you hadn't reached home yet.

Sure enough, when your mother picked up the phone, she bombarded you with questions. They were all very well-meaning, like asking you where you were and why you weren't home, and are you okay? You told her that you were at Ten's house, a creepy guy was following you, and you had been deathly afraid but you were all good now.

"Can I stay over at Ten's place?"

Your mum sounded doubtful when she replied, asking about your clothes and your books and where you were going to sleep. She sounded inclined to say no, telling you that you shouldn't overstay your welcome. She made you thank Ten several times, insisting that you leave.

Thank goodness for Ten, who charmed your mother into listening to him and agreeing to let you stay overnight. He assured her that you could borrow his younger sister's clothes and that not to worry, she was overseas and wouldn't mind.

Your mother told you to thank him (again) tonight and the next morning when you left his place. You agreed, reminding her that you love her and she hung up.

"Your sister doesn't really live in this house, does she?"

Ten looked at you confusedly. "Where else would she live?"

"I don't know, it just seemed like I'd never seen her before." You shrugged, looking around at the house again. "And, well, it did seem like you lived here all alone, but I guess it's too big of a house for you to manage on your own."

"I assure you that I live with my family. My parents are upstairs right now, and my sister's on an exchange programme right now so she's not in town. The reason they haven't come here is probably because it's a big house and they're busy doing something together. The last activity they were doing was solving a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle."

Ten's family seemed so chill and easygoing, a stark contrast to what you were used to. Ten brought you up to his sister's room to borrow her pajamas, and you took the chance to take a quick shower, wiping yourself down with a towel you had borrowed.

Afterwards, the manners your parents had ingrained in you caused you to insist that Ten introduce you to his parents, and you apologised for intruding and disturbing their evening.

However, they were absolute sweethearts. His father offered to make some food for you, if you were hungry, and his mother asked if you were quite alright after the ordeal. You insisted that you were fine, but they wouldn't stop worrying until Ten assured them that you're fine.

It was really all very endearing, because your parents fussed in a different way from them, and had never been so open to simply having people over. In fact, you couldn’t remember the last sleepover you had.

Ten brought you up, but his parents wouldn't let you sleep in his room. He brought you to his sister's room, and you fell asleep fitfully.

Image

#8: His proficiency in martial arts

You really misinterpreted what Ten meant by "teaching you martial arts". You thought he meant a chill session and some quick tips on defending yourself, maybe a few corrections. After which, you'd feel badass and ready to tackle any horny, screwed-up in their minds men.

You were dead wrong, because Ten had not meant any of those things.

You were only five minutes in and already drenched in sweat, your clothes sticking to your skin and droplets beading at your hairline. You lifted your arm to wipe the sweat away with your sleeve, and your biceps screamed out in pain, begging for mercy.

It turns out that the reason Ten was so physically fit was because his training routine was rigorous. Not pretentious rigorous, and not the type of rigorous that bodybuilders used to lose fat, either. It was the type of rigorous that strengthened your muscles and pushed them just shy of their breaking point.

If you had to do this every other day, you'd probably be in the best physical shape of your life, which was Ten's current situation.

Ten was determined to make you stronger, because according to him, you "can't defend yourself if you're weak." It was a really polite way of saying that you weren't strong enough to protect yourself, which was a humbling thought.

He told you that you were only going to be doing a warmup, since you were just starting and you had school the next day. ("I want you to be able to walk tomorrow" were his exact words. It was... encouraging to hear that. Not.)

10 minutes in, you were cursing Ten's proficiency in martial arts. And your own stupidity, for agreeing to it. Why had you thought you would be able to keep up with him? He was Ten, your archnemesis, your one and only competitor who could beat you if he tried just a little. Obviously, you never learned from your mistakes.

Ten decided that you should try to punch people first. But not the way that you wanted to.

Instead of cool punches and socking people in the jaw (you're sure Ten got to do that in training, but you weren't Ten), he made you hit your elbows upwards against his padded gloves until the muscles in your arms, shoulders and back that you didn't even realise existed throbbed.

Then, he simply moved on to the next exercise. You never got to throw him over your shoulder like a sack of rice, but you did get to practise almost breaking his arm. A hundred or so times, until you weren't even trying to hit him anymore. He would yell at you to try harder ("Where's your energy?") and then, when you gave him a tired look, lower his volume and say, "Let's try that again."

Again, he was not being unkind, but his focus and seriousness made him a very strict teacher indeed.

The most fun part was when he decided to teach you how to kick a man in the groin. (Not knee them. Because that would take away the advantage of distance, of course. Of course you knew that.)

He lifted his arms up, carefully moving himself out of the "line of fire" and positioning himself diagonally in front of you. Channeling all your rage, tiredness and desire to go home, you kicked your leg out as hard as you could-

And fell right on your butt.

Your butt hurt, but your ego hurt more. Especially when Ten failed to contain his laughter, gasping for air and even choking. Was he trying to be dramatic or was he always like that? It was a far cry from the stifled, polite laughter in class when you laughed at his jokes, but it was endearing all the same.

You couldn't fault him for finding it funny. You were, after all, on your butt on the ground and it was possibly due to your hubris. Maybe being overconfident while trying a new skill wasn't a good idea, especially when you were trying it out with your expert classmate (who maybe wasn’t really your rival anymore).

Ten knelt down, arms wrapping around you from behind as he pulled you to your feet, his warm embrace making you want to fall asleep in his arms.

#9: His back.

Wait... what?

Okay, this definitely wasn't a good idea. Thinking about falling asleep in Ten's arms, in Ten's house, after spending a night over? Yeah, this was a recipe for trouble.

Ten seemed oblivious to how you were feeling, since all he did was continue teaching you a new skill.

“So what if he tries to grab you from behind? Well obviously, if it’s someone you know, you might hug him back. But if it’s a creepy guy? You’ll want to be able to attack him regardless of how he’s holding you.”

To demonstrate, Ten tightly grabbed you from behind. You would have liked to protest, but he grabbed you so suddenly that you lost your balance, falling forwards. Reacting quickly, Ten rolled over and you landed on top of him, hyperaware of his arms and his body heat and the feel of his breath on you.

Your faces were so close to each other that if you moved too quickly, you might just kiss him. Which, honestly, didn’t sound like a bad idea at this point. Your locked arms were the only thing keeping your lips from his. And they were trembling from your exhaustion and the desire to give in to the tired pleas of your muscles.

Ten tried to lift your arm off of him, trying to stand up—which was a terrible mistake. Your elbow immediately gave way, and you crashed onto him, your chest falling onto his. Your heart was racing, and with the proximity, you couldn’t tell if the thumping sound was coming from your heart, or his.

Just before you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Ten angled his face up and whispered in your ear, “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded dumbly and he gently kissed you, so quickly you couldn’t tell for sure if it was intentional. It was the slightest brush of his lips on yours, the brief contact making you yearn for more.

Before you could advance on him any further, he stood up abruptly, one hand carelessly pulling you up.

#10: His pretty face.

Ten’s face was flushed red and you were sure yours was too. He looked away quickly, composed himself, and turned back to you. “Shall we continue?”

Except you didn’t hear him, because you were too busy pressing your fingers to your lips in shock and staring into his eyes.

He waved his hand in front of your face and you jerked back to reality. “Yeah- Actually, no. Let’s discuss this.” You gestured meaninglessly, realised how dumb you looked, and dropped your hand lamely.

Ten looked at you expectantly, clearly waiting for a greater revelation than that.

“Like, me sleeping in your sister’s clothes and you buying me coffee? And—goodness forbid—you flirting with me? And now this? Ten, I thought we weren’t even on speaking terms!”

It was only until the last sentence that Ten’s confusion dissipated, and you realised with a start that the pressure he put on you was very much one sided. To him, it was a friendly rivalry. To you, it was a threat to your pride.

“Y/n, we were always on speaking-”

“Actually, you know what? It’s fine. I’m just confused, but I’ll be fine. Please, continue.”

Ten’s hand reached out and grabbed your chin, tilting your head and forcing you to look at him. “You’re so dense! Is kissing you not obvious enough? Y/n, I like you!”

“I- I don’t understand,” you fumbled, desperately grasping for straws.

“I like you,” he deadpanned. “I don’t know how much more obvious I can make it. Is this not straightforward enough? What more do you want me to do?”

“Kiss me again,” was out of your lips before you could stop yourself, and Ten’s lips were on yours before you could process what you had just said.

“I blame it on that pretty face of yours,” you said as soon as he pulled away.

“Oh yeah?” He tipped his face upwards and laughed, the sound of his laughter as light as a feather. You couldn’t help but to stare at him, the curve of his chin and the tilt of his jaw, his scoff and the way he rolled his eyes at the same time. His cheeks were dusted pink and his eyes fixed themselves on you again.

He flexed his hand, adjusting the wrap around his wrist and you felt the sudden urge to give him a hug.

“I love you, Ten Lee,” you whispered in his ear, and although you couldn’t see it, he smiled, just a little.

glossary:

*这是因为李永钦吗？ (is this because of ten lee?)

**嗯! 我怎么没感觉到自己无意中喜欢上了他呢？ (yes! how could i have unconsciously fallen for him?)

***我很有魅力啊。(i have a lot of charm)

****真不好意思！(how embarrassing!)

#k-labels #ten #kpop fics #xiaojun #wayv #jaehyun #nct #🪁 — my works #😾 — ten things i love about lee

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