#i deeply apologize if the writing is once again not up to par
Text
31. Clara
The sun’s warm orange light bathed the Hogsmeade train station in its late afternoon glow, a glow that would have warmed my heart had it not been for the reason I took this trip. As Rowan and I stepped onto the platform, watching all the other students and Hogsmeade patrons walking by, I felt fear grip at my chest once more, clawing at my innards with a touch of ice. This was where I told Tonks earlier of the threat carried by R, where she proclaimed I must have become a hit witch in such a short span of time. The mere reminder of it made me clench my fists in the pockets of my jacket--this should be the point where my friends should stop caring so much about me. I couldn’t blame them if they couldn’t stay committed to helping me up till the last step.
I figured Rowan had all the more reason to be suspicious of what I was up to, especially with all that was happening recently. When I arrived at the greenhouses earlier that afternoon to pick rose thorns and rose petals, I found her tutoring Barnaby in Herbology despite it being her weakest subject. Her confusion over my request did not go unnoticed, and especially when we were in the kitchens to get peppermint with Jae she had raised so many questions about what I was doing to the point where she ended up wanting to come with me to the train station to see the trade of pearl dust and powdered moonstone through. Despite Jae’s warnings that her curiosity could put her into danger, I allowed her to come with me, given that we have had so little time to spend together recently.
“Where’s the train?” I asked her upon seeing the empty station, no trains in sight at the platform. “Jae said it was scheduled to arrive now.”
Rowan didn’t answer me immediately. Her eyes were fixed on the large clock hanging above the door of the station master’s office, where the hour hand and the minute hand were frozen at ten past ten.
“Have you ever noticed that the clock here is always stuck at ten past ten?” Rowan remarked softly, tilting her head in intrigue.
“I know! It’s as if Hogsmeade Station is frozen in time,” I responded thoughtfully, following her sight up to the clock as well.
“Yeah. Not ideal for a train station where time is of the essence,” Rowan agreed.
“Exactly! I need to get Powdered Moonstone and Pearl Dust from a witch on that train right away,” I told her with a shake of my head. “Penny and I can’t start brewing a Love Potion without it. And then I’ve got to trade that potion for the Invisibility Cloak I need to sneak into the Ministry of Magic--”
At this plan, Rowan’s eyes widened, her jaw dropped in surprise. “So that’s what you want an Invisibility Cloak for? What kind of dodgy business have you got yourself into now?”
Was this concern or suspicion? I immediately jumped onto the defensive, stepping back a little and resisting every urge to fold my arms.
“Why do you want to know?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow. “Are you planning on telling on me to the professors?”
“What--no. Of course not.” Rowan’s eyes softened at my movements, and she tilted her head, almost in a matter like anyone would look at a homeless kitten ducked under the bench. “I’ve always done my best to keep your secrets. I just worry about you.”
It was hard to hear that she still cared so much--especially considering how much I had abandoned her in my haste to slow R down in their search for the final Cursed Vault. My mind flew back to all the times she accompanied me on several adventures, from the Cursed Ice Corridor and the hall behind the Vanished Stairs to the Cursed Vault in the Forbidden Forest, guarded by an Acromantula who was all too eager to feast on our flesh. Had it not been for Rowan’s quick thinking of a Basilisk looming behind the spiders, we wouldn’t have been standing here today. Despite all the letters I sent her over the summer, I figured that words etched on parchment didn’t compare in the slightest to the person who actually wrote them. Memories were meant to be made together. Nothing would come out of something you couldn’t see right in front of you--especially a best friend one hasn’t seen in so long.
“I’m sorry, Rowan,” I eventually apologized. “I know how badly you want to be Head Girl so I assumed you’d insist on following rules.”
Rowan smiled a little and put a hand on my shoulder. “I do like to do the right thing. But right now the right thing is supporting you. You’ve been through a lot.”
“That’s putting it lightly, Rowan. Perhaps all that’s happened with Rakepick and my brother has put my guard up,” I remarked in a low voice.
“Do you think what happened in the last Cursed Vault changed you?” Rowan finally asked.
Changed was definitely an understatement. From the experiences in the last Cursed Vault, I felt like I had been forced through a transformation--though maybe not as drastically as some others who were with me.
“Yes, of course, I’ve been changed by what happened,” I eventually responded slowly. “For better or worse…”
“Or perhaps it’s for better and worse?” Rowan clarified.
“How do you mean?”
“I mean, perhaps what happened has made you suspicious for the worst, but braver for the better.” Rowan shrugged offhandedly, her gaze growing distant. “I think sometimes the worst moments can bring out the best in ourselves.”
“And I think...we’re the only ones who haven’t given up on this train arriving,” I added, eyes flitting to the tracks where I had anticipated the train to come roaring in. Alas, the tracks were still empty.
Rowan nodded, her glance flitting for a moment again to the clock above our heads. “The train station is rather empty for ten past ten,” she remarked.
“Except that it’s not still ten past ten. Not really.”
Anyone who was anyone would know of the phrase, time was of the essence. I just wanted nothing more than to grab the ingredients off the tracks if I had to and hightail back to the castle to procure my end of the Invisibility Cloak deal. It seemed Rowan knew better than to question me again, because then she said, “At least the train delay gives us some time to catch up.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and turned to her. “What would you like to talk about?”
“How have you been? What’s new with you?”
“Rowan, I feel like the whole school knows what’s new with me.”
“Heh.” Rowan shook her head and shrugged again. “I was being polite.”
“So then what’s new with you?” I asked her in turn, tilting my own head in intrigue.
“Studying, of course,” Rowan replied automatically, a proud smile on her face. “Tutoring. But you knew that…”
“But what friends do you spend time with? I’ve been so busy with finding Rakepick, Jacob, and the final Cursed Vault.” I stared down at my hands, a shaky exhale rattling through my body. “And I had to find time for my sister, too.”
“Well, my only friends were really your friends, so…”
“That’s not true, is it?”
Rowan fell silent, her grin faltering. She cast a glance at her shoes and shuffled them over the ground, a clear sign of embarrassment.
“It can’t be that we have nothing to talk about anymore,” I interjected in the awkward silence.
“It’s not unusual to grow out of old friendships when you find new ones. And you’re always making new friends,” Rowan pointed out.
It couldn’t be true, could it? My friends were her friends and being friends with everyone was what brought us all together. It wasn’t like I had anyone exclusive that she didn’t know about, and I thought she was okay with it.
“Well, you are too. You have…”
“I have a lot of wonderful books.”
I recalled every time I entered the dormitory to see Rowan snoring loudly with a large pile of books surrounding her, stacked over the mattress and spilling over the floor. Her glasses were askew over her face as well, the lens slightly smudged. At least I knew she was being honest--the many books she read every night, from school textbooks to miscellaneous ones on trees and wands and cats, never failed to amaze me. But something else nagged at me--did that mean she too had outgrown our friendship? I never forgot the day we coined the term “tree twins” because of her love of trees and the literal translation of my last name--and we bonded over it, too. She couldn’t have forgotten it, could she?
“But I haven’t outgrown our friendship, Rowan,” I told her cautiously. “Unless you’ve outgrown me?”
“Never!” Rowan claimed, a huge grin on her face. “You’re still the only one I can be my weird self around with. And you can always be your weird self with me, too.”
“Thank goodness. Wait, who are you calling weird, Rowan?” I quipped, a small smirk over my face as a wash of relief doused me from head to toe.
“Now we’re talking more like the ‘us’ I remember…”
Us. Of course we would never drift away from each other the further along we went in life. And for one brilliant moment, it seemed to just be us, two best friends talking at the train station like there was no tomorrow, two best friends bound together by the trees that grew around us. All my worries about the Dark Artefacts and Rakepick and protecting my siblings seemed to be at bay as we chatted over everything that happened since our first year, reminisced over the adventures we once had and all the changes that came our way.
“Did you ever cast the Tickling Charm I taught you in that very first duel you had with Merula?” Rowan finally asked me.
It felt like so long ago, the very first duel I had with Merula back in first year. Merula had been picking on Ben in front of other students in the courtyard, and I had to interfere to stop her bullying. Her proclaimed superiority over her peers was what started this never-ending rivalry between us. I shook my head at Rowan’s question--though she taught me the Tickling Charm in preparation for the duel, I never ended up using it.
“No, but perhaps someone needs to cast it on Merula now to make sure she’s still able to laugh,” I responded. “These days, I can’t even think of the last time I saw Merula have a laugh...”
“You haven’t been laughing much either, Clara. I miss your laugh,” Rowan murmured, noticing the frown that was settling over my face.
“Perhaps I’ll crack a smile...if that train with my Powdered Moonstone and Pearl Dust ever arrives.” I turned around to check the clock on the platform. “What time is it now, anyway?”
“Rictusempra!”
In the split second my back was turned, Rowan had cast the Tickling Charm over me. I saw the silver light swirling around me, sparkling and shimmering in the late afternoon light, but that was all my eyes could register as I suddenly doubled over in laughter, wheezing every time I needed more air.
“Rowan--HA HA--Khanna!” I squealed. “This isn’t funny! HAHA!”
Rowan just grinned at the sight of me laughing, a chuckle of her own slipping out. “I needed to make sure you were still able to have a laugh, Clara.”
“Is that...HA-HA...right?” I cried, withdrawing my wand. “Rictusempra! Hahaha!”
And now it was Rowan’s turn to clutch at her stomach, collapsing to the ground in a fit of endless giggles. Anyone at this point could be staring at us like we have become maniacs, but in that moment we couldn’t care less. We were children again, eleven years old and as carefree as could be. I reached over and grasped her hand, pulling her up as we continued to laugh without a care in the world.
“Clara! HA-HA!” Rowan chuckled, wiping the tears away with her sleeve. “Now we’ll..HA-HA...both be...HA-HA...laughing until...HA-HA...it literally hurts!”
If there was any more capacity for me to wheeze even harder, I would have done so at Rowan’s statement. “All...your...HA-HA...fault!”
After some time, when the pain started to register in my stomach from all the laughing and my throat felt dry, we cast the counter-spell on each other, slowly regaining our breath though still breathless from the enchanted laughter.
“It’s ten past ten,” Rowan managed to respond, a big smile on her face.
“What?”
“You’d asked me, ‘what time is it anyway?’ Here, it’s always ten past ten.”
That took me a while to register, but it slowly came back to me, and I nodded just as I heard a distant whistle sound in the distance.
“Please let that be the train whistle I hear…” I murmured, squinting into the distance. Indeed, a train seemed to be coming along like a bullet from afar.
“Can’t we stay frozen in time a little longer?” Rowan asked, another laugh escaping into the sunset.
The train eventually arrived at the station, quelling any thought of staying behind any longer in a different time, a different era. As it rolled to a stop, I saw all the passengers disembark from the doors that slid open, some of them holding heavy crates in their arms and others carrying bulky packages wrapped tightly with brown paper and tied haphazardly with string.
“Lin?” one of the passengers asked, turning to me.
“Yes. I take it Jae Kim has informed you about me?” I asked as I approached the trader who held a case full of rare ingredients, Rowan hot on my heels.
The passenger nodded and opened the case. “Yes, ma’am. Said yeh needed a pinch o’ this, a dash o’ that--so here we are. Powdered Moonstone and Pearl Dust, just enough to make few doses of whatever potion yeh need.”
I quickly fished out the gold and paid up for the trade, taking the case and closing it carefully--one of the clasps was broken from wear--and waved as he took off. Then I turned to Rowan. “Want to help me take this back to the castle?”
“Sure. And after that, I’ll head back to the dorm and rest a bit,” Rowan said. “My sides still hurt from all the laughing.”
I couldn’t blame her for that--my sides also hurt from wheezing and laughing non-stop. Together, we took the case and carried it back to the castle, hearts still as light as a feather floating in the breeze.
The wait may have felt like forever, but forever didn’t feel as long with a true friend close by. And I was more than willing now to protect her with everything I had.
#oh yay we are now at the most feelsy part of year 6#i deeply apologize if the writing is once again not up to par#but it took a while to figure out how i was going to write this#inspiration: for forever from dear evan hansen#dear evan hansen#etched engraved everlasting#hogwarts mystery year 6#hphm year 6#hphm clara lin#hphm rowan khanna#hphm year 6 spoilers
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
New Beginnings
Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. Will you be able to find peace in each other again?
Notes: Gojo Satoru is good-looking, all powerful and beyond good at his job. I’ve always wanted to explore something he struggles with
Gojo Satoru x reader
Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version
Genre: ANGST AND PINING, exes to friends to ??, commitment issues lol (wc: 1.3k) tw: mention of blood, infedelity-ish
“Sensei, why are we heading to the infirmary?”
Right after Gojo Satoru arrived at the den Itadori Yuuji was staying, Kiyotaka burst in and whispered something in his ear. Gojo’s eyes widened and he immediately set off with Yuuji tailing him.
“What happened to her?” Gojo exclaims.
The three arrive at the infirmary to see you writhing in pain and screaming in agony. There is dark red blood on your side. Gojo looks like someone had been clawing nails at a chalkboard. He hates to see you like this.
Kiyotaka looks for a healer. Yuuji goes to hide. Gojo tries to undo your makeshift bandages. You’re in a blur of pain.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The next thing you remember after your aborted mission is Gojo Satoru’s concerned eyes watching over you. You’re in the Jujutsu Tech infirmary. Your wound is still fresh as hell.
“She’s really beautiful, sensei.” Itadori Yuuji comments quietly from your bedside.
“She is.” Gojo agrees. Your eyes are closed, yet you sense his presence seated on a stool by your bed.
“Is she a former classmate?” Yuuji asks.
“Among other things. She used to be my fiancée too.”
Yuuji probably scrambles at his stance, “Your what????”
Gojo turns to him, “To be clear it wasn’t a love match. We were arranged to be married by our families by 21, but we broke it off.”
Whenever either of you say this, it always leaves more questions than answers.
Your eyes flicker open. You wince as you try to sit up. Gojo immediately reaches out to aid you. Your hands swat him away.
“Welcome back?” He cheekily greets.
You sniff and look the other way. Why did he have to work here?
Beside him is a young student with pink hair. He must be Yuuji.
“Go get her something to eat from the kitchens.” he tells his student, “Something gentle on the stomach and nutritious enough to get her strength back.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Seeing Gojo Satoru is a different kind of pain. You once thought you were to be married to this man. Because you knew it was your obligation to your family, you learned to love him.
You both enter Jujutsu Kaisen at 15, Gojo a year ahead. It was the most painful three years of your life. Gojo was a popular and inexorable flirt. His attention span for romances was short although he was never short on female attention.
He cared for you very much. He protected you, assured you and was one of your best friends, but you’ve come to accept that he could never love you romantically or be faithful. He just wasn’t interested.
It hurt you deeply of course. You had tried so hard to love him and he couldn’t do the same for you. Was something wrong with you? You felt deficient. You took the blame onto yourself.
When you were about to graduate, you decided to take matters into your own hands.
“Gojo, I’m going back home this Sunday, probably for the last time.” you approached him while he sat on a stone bench. He had just come back from a mission.
“Any reason it sounds so dramatic?’ he raised a brow.
“I’m breaking off our engagement to my clan leader.”
Gojo was so taken aback he didn't know how to react. His mouth hung open.
“You don’t love me and I don’t think you can.” you sighed, looking away.
Gojo fiddled with his hands, “I do, just not romantically.”
It bothered you that he loved you like family. How could you be married to him if he couldn't see you as more than a friend?
“I don’t know why you haven’t come up with this idea yourself honestly.” you frowned. You can feel yourself glaring more intensely than you had wanted to project.
A gentle gust of wind blew by, ruffling the hairs on your head.
“I have,” he quietly admitted, “But I was afraid you’d take it personally and I was trying to find a way to spare you the anguish.”
You shook your head and kicked a pebble, “There’s nothing you can do to spare me.”
“I’ll go with you. If you do this alone, your clan will exile you. Maybe if they see that it’s mutual maybe they’ll be kinder.” he resolved. The arranged marriage was important because it solidified an alliance between your families. Breaking it off meant you were essentially having your own insurgency against your clan.
But they weren’t kinder. You were still exiled. It was hardly a surprise. At least you were relieved of the prospects of loveless marriage.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
“Can you not watch me eat?” You weakly snap at him.
"I can see you’re still pissed at me.” he acknowledges saintly.
You angrily stuck your spoon on your porridge with all the strength you could muster
“Every time I see you I’m reminded of how I failed to make you love me,” your voice is peeling with emotion, “And how my clan kicked me out because of it.”
Gojo opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. Instead he nods understandingly. He goes to grab you more water.
“Every time I see you hurt like this, it reminds me how I fail at protecting you too.” he murmurs, “I know we’re no longer engaged, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m supposed to keep you from harm.”
He talks with his back away from you, as if you could see through him even without his eyes.
“You didn’t fail at anything,” he continues, “Things couldn’t work out between us because of me. I’ve long since known that I’m not into romantic relationships—at least not in the long term, monogamous way that leads to a wedding and a family. But if I could…I promise…it would be with you.”
“Maybe in a different life.” He adds, reigning in his emotion.
Your face softens at his words. You reach out to hold his hand and he holds you tenderly.
“I didn’t mean to cause you the pain that I have.” he whispers, his voice hoarse.
Tears fall down your eyes. You’ve always carried the blame on yourself. Hearing that from him lifts imaginable weight from your chest. You didn’t realize how badly you needed his apology.
He reaches into his pocket for a handkerchief and wipes away your tears.
“We’ve wasted so many years lost in our own pain.” you mumble back, looking away from him.
“We were too young to deal with the cards that we have been dealt then.” he replies, “You should be kinder to our younger selves.”
He lightly squeezes your hand and for a moment you’re both silent.
“Yeah, I guess I should.” you said with a small smile, “I wish we could press a reset button to start over.”
You hear footsteps entering the infirmary. Itadori Yuuji sees the two of you, hands still entangled in each other. He tries to walk back as if not having seen you.
You both pull away. Strangely you don’t feel embarrassed at all.
“Yuuji, go get a wheelchair. We’re taking our guest for a walk. It’s a beautiful day today.” he instructs, eyes still locked at you. Yuuji nods, glad to be sent away.
He turns to you grinning, “That kid was stunned at how beautiful you are. He told me so on the way back. He only likes Jennifer Lawrence so I guess you’re at par with her.”
You both chuckle and laugh.
“I’ve always wanted to be mistaken for a celebrity.”
“You’re more badass in real life though.” he tilts his head.
“You didn’t need him to get a wheelchair. I can try to walk.” you insist, pushing against the bed rails.
Gojo stands to help you, “The doctor clearly said you need to save your strength. You can walk when we get to the garden.”
“I can’t believe we’re bickering already.” you roll your eyes.
Gojo snorts. You crack a smile. He helps you swing your legs down the bed. Today you start anew, an attempt to reshape how your relationship should’ve been. Today, you finally get some new beginnings.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
General taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan @kaizumi@holaaaf@glxar@francxsca
Series Taglist: @kageyamakock
Like this fic? Check out another Gojo fic here.
The rest of the series: Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8
Heyyy if you made it this far. Let me know your thoughts and if you’d like to see the next chapters 🥺 Writing this fic had me feeling so many typa ways hahahaha and I just need to share it with people.
#gojo angst#gojo imagine#gojo scenario#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk angst#jjk imagines#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader
731 notes
·
View notes
Text
Remember that analysis post of mine debunking the ridiculous myth perpetrated in this fandom that Kaito never apologises, in which I discuss how he actually apologises way more than he should? Well, while thinking about and writing that post, I also got curious. What’s the cold, hard data on that? What if I just straight-up counted every single instance of each character apologising throughout the main story of DRV3, in order to be able to indisputably prove at a glance that Kaito is actually one of the most apologetic characters in this game?
…I wasn’t willing to go so far as to play through the entire game again just for the purpose of counting every time a character apologised, mind you. But several months ago, I began watching yet another V3 Let’s Play – and since I was already committed to watching said LP all the way through, I figured I could count all the apologies as it went along and collect that data with minimal extra effort on my part. So here’s the full dataset, at last!
There we go. It is objective and indisputable that Kaito apologises the third-most out of any character in this game, behind only the incredibly insecure Gonta and the still-rather-insecure-and-has-the-most-lines Shuichi. And pretty close behind them, at that!
I noticed a bunch of interesting things while doing this, though, so I can’t resist the chance to break this down and talk about it in some more detail.
Data collection criteria
For the sake of Scientific Thoroughness, I should explain my exact criteria for counting these. Every way of phrasing an apology, be it “sorry”, “my apologies”, “my bad”, etc, was counted. I also decided to count statements along the lines of "I need to apologise for this", because that itself is essentially already expressing the apology, too.
If a character apologises multiple times for the same thing, each of those times counts separately. This isn’t a measure of how many individual things each character apologises for, but rather of how inclined they are to apologise. Even if multiple apologies are grouped together, such as “Sorry… I’m so sorry…” or “sorry, my bad”, those still count as two, because that’s essentially a double-strength apology.
I did not count optional dialogue that was mutually exclusive with other optional dialogue. Which is to say, I didn’t count any FTEs, since you can’t get all of them in a single playthrough, and as much as I might like to insist that Kaito’s and Maki’s FTEs with Shuichi should definitely be considered canon, I’m trying to be unbiased here. I also didn’t count any FTE invitation dialogue, even though you technically can get all of the first parts of those (the lines before you actually make the choice to invite someone) in a single playthrough, mostly because it’d have taken forever to go through them for absolutely everyone.
However, I did count optional dialogue in those bits where you’re free to talk to everyone in the room before advancing the plot by talking to a specific person, because that can all be assumed to be canon. The bonus item scenes also count, because they should be assumed to be canon, too. There may have been some apologies that I missed here, because the LP I was watching occasionally missed these bits of dialogue, and while I tried to check myself for these missed bits, I may have overlooked a few. But if so, it was definitely only a few and not enough to significantly affect the overall picture of the data.
I only counted Shuichi’s and Kaede’s apologies when they were spoken out loud. It’d be unfair to count their inner-monologue apologies as well when we have no idea how much any other character might also be apologising in their head.
The pregame characters’ apologies were not counted, because they are not the same people. I would have counted Tsumugi’s and Rantaro’s apologies prior to the “reset” if they’d had any, since they are already themselves from the very beginning.
Obviously there’s still a lot of inherent bias here towards the characters who get more screentime and more lines, such as especially Shuichi. There isn’t much I can do about that, short of counting the exact number of dialogue boxes that every single character has throughout the whole game and using that to normalise things. As you can imagine, I don’t want to do that. (Though, on the extreme off-chance that someone does somehow happen to have data for that lying around somewhere that they can access with minimal effort, I’d love for them to send it my way.)
Characters who totally never do anything wrong
I was not at all surprised to see that Kiyo and Angie never apologise for anything at all, sincere or not, warranted or not. Psh, what do you mean they might have done something wrong, of course they never do anything wrong ever.
Miu almost ended up on the zero-apologies list, too. Interestingly, the four times she does apologise in canon dialogue are all during the Virtual World trip. Three of them happen when people are frustrated that she isn’t telling them stuff about the Virtual World sooner, and one is for being about to murder Kokichi in the flashback to that. Since she never apologises at all the entire rest of the time, this is a neat sign that she actually does feel pretty guilty about deceiving everyone and plotting to get them all killed.
In another effort to be as objective as possible, I also counted every apology regardless of how sincere it was. However, in Kokichi’s case, I did keep a track of how many of his apologies were actually sincere, out of curiosity. (Other characters may have a few insincere ones here and there, but it only felt worth my time keeping track of that with Kokichi, because he’s obviously the biggest offender for this.) I included this information on Kokichi’s bar of the graph, because I feel that the implication otherwise given of him being the fifth most apologetic character in this game is deeply misleading. If you discount all of Kokichi’s screamingly insincere apologies, suddenly his apology count is just unremarkable background noise on par with most of the others.
It is notable – and also very unsurprising to me – that Kokichi’s five actual sincere apologies are all for things that, according to Kaito’s principles on this, he doesn’t really need to be apologising for at all. They are all within chapters 1 to 3. He never sincerely apologises for any of the many things he actually does wrong that really do warrant being apologised for, because Kokichi is totally never in the wrong about anything, you guys, and he definitely doesn’t ever murder anyone.
Three of those five sincere apologies happen when he’s hit his head during investigation 3 and is dazed and disoriented. Apparently Kokichi needs to be literally injured in order to be made to feel like anything is his fault for more than a brief moment. …That said, that evidently only works for accidental slip-ups that aren’t really his fault at all. Kokichi’s totally-never-in-the-wrong-about-anything defence mechanisms work full time to protect him from ever having to acknowledge and feel remorse for any of his many very real and deliberate misdeeds, even when he’s painfully poisoned and dying.
Kaede
Kaede’s apology count is very notably high for someone who was only alive for one chapter. If she’d stayed alive for longer, she’d almost certainly have rivalled Shuichi for total apologies. (So, technically, Kaito is probably only the fourth most apologetic character in this game. Still, though.)
You might assume that Kaede’s high count here is because of the murder she does, but actually only like two or three of them are related to that. Most of her apologies are evenly spread throughout the entire chapter. Some of it’s just general politeness, but an awful lot of it comes from her being too inclined to feel bad over not being as good a leader as she wishes she was, when she really hasn’t done anything wrong at all. Kaito is right to try and encourage her not to apologise when things aren’t her fault! She of all people needs to hear that!
Chapter-by-chapter
The majority of the rest of the characters aren’t that interesting to talk about. For the most part their low counts are basically just, like, background noise politeness, a vague measure of how polite that character is and nothing more. Very little of those counts has anything to do with how insecure that character is, or any actual things they do wrong that genuinely warrant apologising.
But for the other three of our most-apologetic characters, since they’re alive for several chapters, it’s kind of interesting to look at how their counts fluctuate from chapter to chapter. So here’s another graph, to help me break their huge counts down a bit more.
Shuichi
Despite him obviously having the most lines, I was pretty surprised that Shuichi ended up with the highest apology count overall. I wasn’t even expecting him to top Kaito’s count, let alone Gonta’s.
This conclusion did, however, seem a lot more likely once I’d made it through chapter 1 and seen just how much he apologised during that time. Geez, is that one hell of a headstart for even Gonta and Kaito to catch up to. My surprise over this was probably because, when I think about Shuichi, I usually think about the post-Kaede protagonist-Shuichi (perhaps especially because I usually think about him in a Kaito-centric context, whoops). So it’s easy to forget just how incredibly insecure – and also apologetic – he was in the very beginning.
Shuichi apologises exactly as horribly much as Kaede during chapter 1. Again, this is partly politeness, but also far too much of him having an inclination to feel bad over things that aren’t his fault because of how insecure he is. Kaede and Shuichi basically spend most of chapter 1 constantly apologising to each other for existing, and it’s heartbreaking. Every time I had to add another of theirs to my spreadsheet, I was all, “No! Stop it!”
What I find really fascinating about Shuichi’s count, though, is that he pretty much loses this bad habit entirely after Kaede’s death. Despite him still kind of moping around and struggling to know what to do until Kaito steps in to help, it seems like Shuichi’s resolve to carry on Kaede’s wish and believe in himself more really had already had a tangible positive effect on his confidence!
This also means that Kaito never has any reason to give Shuichi advice telling him not to apologise if he hasn’t done anything wrong, which he absolutely would have done if he’d spent more time with Shuichi in chapter 1 when he was apologising so much. As I mentioned in my original post about this topic, this fact is important.
Shuichi’s counts in chapters 2 and 3 are especially low. This is what background noise politeness from a character tends to look like – and it also pretty clearly proves that his and Kaede’s huge apology counts in chapter 1 are down to way more than them just being generally polite people who are getting the most screentime.
It might look like Shuichi gradually gets more insecure again as the killing game goes on, but that’s not actually quite why his count goes up again like that. Instead, it’s that, when something particular does go wrong, Shuichi still feels inclined to apologise for it a lot more than most people would. Turns out, most of his excess apologies in chapters 4 and 5 are spurred by very specific incidents involving Kaito.
Literally five of Shuichi’s apologies in chapter 4 are over the cell phone incident with Kaito during the investigation. That genuinely did warrant an apology – he should have thought to warn Kaito that he’d be logged out beforehand so he wouldn’t be so startled – but even then, apologising that many times was still rather excessive. Shuichi evidently felt really bad about startling his friend like that in the first place. But it also doesn’t help that Kaito reacted more strongly to it than he should have done, for reasons rooted in his own issues that Shuichi was completely oblivious to, which is probably a lot of why Shuichi felt he had to keep apologising.
Three of Shuichi’s apologies in chapter 5 are over the awkward situation between him and Kaito, albeit directed at Maki and not Kaito. This is despite Shuichi himself asserting that he doesn’t believe he should apologise for his actions in trial 4. Even then, he’s still feeling insecure enough about the whole thing that some unintentional apologies slip out of him anyway, not precisely about Gonta’s trial, but about not being able to fix the rift between him and Kaito. He seems to feel like that’s meant to be his responsibility, when he should be able to realise himself that it isn’t. The real responsibility to fix this is on Kaito. Once again, it’s Kaito’s issues – and Kaito not talking about his issues – that causes Shuichi to apologise for something more than he ought to.
Another three of Shuichi’s apologies in chapter 5 are over lying to his friends at the end of the trial in a desperate attempt to protect Kaito. (…Well, technically all of these apologies are part of the lie and therefore not really him apologising for lying – but his inner monologue confirms that he really is sorry for lying, which is almost certainly why he ends up fake-apologising so much within the lie. More on this principle in a bit when I talk about all of Kaito’s apologies in trial 5.) Again, this is another thing that does genuinely warrant an apology, but probably not three times? And while this one isn’t related to Kaito’s issues, it is still because of Kaito that Shuichi needed to try and lie to everyone in the first place.
(One more of Shuichi’s apologies at the end of chapter 5 is for Kaito’s death, because in his grief he’s hurting enough to have slipped back into feeling like everything is his fault. At least this is just the one, and Maki manages to talk him out of blaming himself any more than that.)
Without these specific incidents that he’s still a bit too inclined to feel bad about, Shuichi’s count would be three in chapter 4 and five in chapter 5. So, basically just background noise politeness again. Maybe he’s being slightly more generally insecure in chapter 5 than usual, perhaps due to Kaito not quite being there for him, and/or the whole despair thing. But he’s no longer constantly apologising for existing to nearly as much of an extent as he was in chapter 1.
Delightfully, in chapter 6, with Kaito’s death spurring Shuichi’s determination into overdrive, Shuichi’s count goes right back down to insignificant background noise politeness. Nothing at all happens to make him feel like he needs to apologise way too much.
This is exactly how I hoped it would end! He is being a hero and none of his actions here are anything for him to make himself feel bad about. Kaito would be proud.
Gonta
Gonta’s background-noise politeness in the earlier chapters is noticeably higher than everyone else’s, because there’s also quite a bit of insecurity and apologising-for-existing going on with him. But it’s still not, like, super high on its own. It might not even be quite as bad as Kaede, even accounting for him getting way fewer lines than her?
His somewhat higher count in chapter 2 could be because of the Insect Meet and Greet, but it could also be because the way Ryoma’s body was discovered made Gonta feel especially strongly that he should have been able to prevent Ryoma’s death.
But then, of course, there’s chapter 4. As you’d imagine, almost all of those are in the trial, and almost all towards the end of it. Poor Gonta. It also doesn’t help that there’s two Gontas in the room for the trial conclusion, and naturally I included Alter Ego Gonta’s apologies in Gonta’s count, too.
Kaito
For the first two chapters, when he doesn’t have any sidekicks and therefore no expectations to live up to as their hero, and/or when he’s not struggling with weakness and worrying that he’s failing those expectations, Kaito’s apology level is just unremarkable background noise like most other characters.
(Well, one of them is actually not background noise and is a meaningful, warranted apology for punching Shuichi at the end of trial 1. But because he correctly doesn’t apologise for this any more than he needs to, it kinda blends in with the background noise.)
Then chapter 3 happens, and, predictably, his count shoots way up. All but one of Kaito’s apologies in this chapter are over being sick due to his phobia. (And if I’d been counting the free time invitation dialogues, there would be another four added on here, again for being too sick to hang out with Shuichi.)
Of his five in chapter 4, one is genuinely warranted (for laughing at Maki’s katana story), and two are over being physically sick, goddammit, Kaito. The other two in this chapter are for letting Kokichi’s taunts get to him, which is also not quite a thing he should be apologising for. Kaito can’t help it if his emotions react in a certain way to Kokichi making him out to be worthless. He can control how he responds to it, but not how he feels over it.
Then there’s chapter 5, which somehow manages to even eclipse Kaito’s chapter 3 count – but most of this is about the trial. Only three of his apologies in this chapter are from the Daily Life. (Naturally, two of them are still over being sick. No, Kaito, stop it.)
Literally half of Kaito’s fourteen apologies in the trial boil down to being sorry for tricking and deceiving his friends. This is something that warrants an apology, according to Kaito’s principles, even though he’s doing this deliberately for the purpose of hopefully saving everyone. He is still choosing to hurt them as part of that, and that hurt deserves to be apologised for.
What’s interesting about most of Kaito’s apologies for this, though, is that they’re technically insincere. He’s apologising for tricking everybody while he’s still tricking them, which sure makes it sound like he doesn’t mean it. This even applies to the majority of these apologies that happen during the bits where he’s speaking in his own voice. Because “Exisal Kaito” is a fake and overexaggerated version of himself that he wants everyone to conclude was really just Kokichi pretending to be him, anything he says during those moments is never going to come across as genuine.
But obviously, there’s not a shred of doubt that Kaito really is sorry for tricking everyone the entire time he’s doing this. It says a lot that during those bits where he’s being himself, Kaito just so happens to have a particularly high density of apologies-per-line. He feels awful for being this insincere and deceptive towards his friends, and he really wishes he could just communicate to them how genuinely sorry he is for all of this. But because he can’t, the next best thing to try and scratch that itch is to just apologise anyway even though he needs them to assume it’s all fake.
Kaito even apologises a couple of times as Exisal Kokichi for lying to them! This is absolutely categorically not something Kokichi wrote into his script, because Kokichi never apologised for lying, not even in a blatantly-insincere-sounding way. Kaito’s desperate desire to express how awful he felt about this was just so strong that it even accidentally slipped into a couple of his ad-libs as Kokichi.
However, while Kaito apologises so many times for this, it’s not because he’s blaming himself a bit too excessively much for his wrongdoing like Shuichi was still liable to do at this point in the story. The only reason Kaito apologises this much for tricking everyone is due to how insincere he was forced to sound almost every time. He kept apologising again and again because each insincere apology never felt like enough, and he desperately needed them to know that he meant it.
When Kaito reveals himself at the end of the trial, he pretty much immediately apologises again for tricking them – once, and that’s it. This time, they know he means it, and that’s all he needs. He’s not going to wallow in his bad feelings any more than that.
This is also the case for the other genuine wrongdoings he goes on to apologise for in the conclusion. Kaito gives a double-sized but still concise apology to Shuichi for lashing out in trial 4 like he’d needed to give this whole time, and then one single apology to his friends for lying to them about his illness. He gets those apologies out like he should, but once he’s done so, he doesn’t linger on them and mope any more than he needs to.
Which is good! Look at Kaito finally following his own advice again and being emotionally healthy about this!
…Except for the part where he then goes on to apologise twice for dying on them. That one is still not his fault.
#danganronpa v3#danganronpa v3 spoilers#ramble#kaito momota#shuichi saihara#gonta gokuhara#kaede akamatsu#kaito's hero issues#i may be just a little bit bitter about this ridiculous myth#i am also fully aware that i'm preaching to the choir here in terms of people who read my blog#but shush let me geek out about this data anyway
165 notes
·
View notes
Note
I saw your wolfman reader and loved it so much! Was wondering how you feel about maybe a Trader x reader? He's so sweet I feel like he's always looking out for you in the woods whether you know he is or not 🥺 also thank you so much for the darkwood fic we are starved here
Late Autumn's Trader
[The Trader X GN!Reader]
[Warnings: like, none?]
[AN: I was watching the VVitch when making this, and Thomasin is well, Thomasin. That poor girl deserved so much better lmfao, I will stand by that statement forever. At this point, I should just say that the Creepypasta/Marble Hornets requests are closed until Sunday lmfao I am not in love with that fandom rn. Anways, I hope you enjoy and that it's up to par <3 1.4K words]
The sun is beginning to set on the cursed, yet self-sufficient village you call your home. It’s not like there’s really a sun to see - the light is never able to pierce through the thick clouds, but it’s gradually glowing darker. Autumn is slowly coming to a close, and the villagers have found reason to celebrate.
The sow has been most bountiful, and the woods more graceful.
The lights of the village are almost as warm as the ever falling orange and red leaves that now blanket the forest floor. It’s almost surprising how good this year has been, almost as if the power that be is granting a moment of breath and mercy.
Of course, the woods grow at an alarming rate and soon you will be consumed, but it is a sweet consumption all the same.
Your father and mother call it false security.
Quietly, you step out of your house into the cold autumn air, wondering if winter will be just as gentle and forgiving. In the distance, you can hear violins carrying on the chilly breeze and the sound of people dancing.
This is the only levity they’ve had in years.
You pull at your shawl, attempting to stay warm before blowing warm air into your hands and rubbing them together. Perhaps you’ll stop by the square and pick up some soup. Your boots gently tap against the earth, a small hum leaving your lips as you do so. The air smells sweet, nostalgic and still stuck in time, but sweet. The woods around you, though dark and foreboding, are not near as imposing as they normally are.
You huff silently before crossing through the dirt paths, your journey taking you near the entrance of the village. You glance out to the side, the shrine in her glory decorated with offerings both to the woods and herself. She’s done an incredible job of keeping her people safe and the woods to bring sustenance for yet another year.
But there, out in the darkness, is a man you’ve only ever seen in whispers and sparsely through the fog. He rolls his shoulders forward, almost as if he’s uncomfortable with the weight on his back before nodding to the shrine. He holds his hand out to her, the metallic band catching the remaining of the sun’s lights and flashing in your eyes before he leaves it at her feet.
You blink and flush with embarrassment when you realize you’ve been staring a tad too long and quickly avert your eyes, unsure if he’d take offense to the notion or not. Instinctively, you grip at your shawl and will yourself to move forward.
The man gazes at you, his head tilting to the side as he draws closer to the mouth of the village.
Embarrassment floods your system as you move closer to the crowds. That was rather rude of you, come to think of it. The smell of food and fire fills your nose as you walk closer and closer still. You’re watching the heads for your mother or your father, your younger siblings and hope to find them. It would do you well to see some familiar faces after that rather awkward experience.
You keep your head on a swivel as you walk and push past the people who chatter like they’ve never seen a nicer night. The moon is rising higher and higher in the sky, and the light she is able to shine through the clouds bathes the village in her beauty.
It almost feels warm.
You mentally curse yourself at finding your family when a strong bout of intuition leads you back away from the celebration, to the outskirts of the square.
“Excuse me,” you mumble as you push past merry people, your gut guiding you downwards.
What a sight to behold.
Your eyes widen and you feel an immense amount of protection flood through your system, practically breaking from the lights and merrymaking when you see that man from before, knee on the earth as he places a crown of autumn leaves on your little sister’s head. She giggles, her hands grasping at her dress as she sways side to side, a warm smile on her lips.
“Thomasin!” You hiss, rushing forwards and tackling the young girl, snarling in defense when the man widens his eyes in surprise.
“R-Reader!” She cries out and yelps, her small hands grasping at your forearm.
“Don’t touch her!” You growl.
The man immediately backs up, his hands raised in submission before stepping back, giving the two of you your space. The glass of his mask is fogging as he breathes in deeply, the scent of mushrooms overtakes your nose.
“Well?” You sneer as you back up with your sister in your arms. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
The man only stumbles for a moment, his movements snapping out of a daze before he rolls up the sleeve of his coat, revealing smudged marks.
You’re barely able to open your mouth when you see him procure a pen.
‘I’m sorry,’ the words read out.
“Huh..?”
His gloved index finger points again at the words. ‘I mean you no harm,’ he scribbles down after wiping away the previous words. ‘I came here for business, but your little one-’
“My sister.”
He wipes the words away. ‘Your sister (apologies) asked for my help.’
You look at the young girl in your arms and raise a brow. “Thomasin?”
She looks up at you sheepishly, the autumn colored leaves covering her head obscuring her full expression from you before she giggles nervously. “I’m sorry, Reader,” she says with that same sheepish smile. “I wanted some flowers.”
“It’s almost winter,” you frown.
“That’s why he gave me the leaves instead,” she beams. “He is a nice man!”
Curiously, you look between Thomasin and the man who nods in agreement. Your eyes lock with his, checking for any deceit when you find none. “Do you know the way back to mother and father?”
Thomasin nods against you.
“Head over there now, please.” Hesitantly, you unpeel your arms from your little sister and watch as she steps forwards to the ‘nice man’. Her hands reach out to him, and he smiles ever so slightly, his gloved hand reaching back out to her before you shoot a disapproving look his way. You sigh, unwrap your shawl from your shoulders and throw it over her to keep her warm for the journey back.
You clear your throat before she scampers off, an apologetic smile on her lips as the man watches her disappear into the crowd.
“So,” you begin.
‘So,’ the man writes.
“What’s your name?”
‘Most people call me the Trader.’
“Creative.”
He smiles. ‘Reader is a pretty name.’
You flush for a moment.
An awkward pause follows between the two of you, the quiet growing and swelling much like the village’s festivities. You can hear laughter, the sow in the distance, good tidings for am approaching, hopefully short winter.
“Did you get to check out the festival yet?” You ask quietly, effectively breaking the thick silence.
The Trader shakes his head.
“Would you like to?”
He nods.
Slowly, the two of you stand, almost hesitant in the other’s presence and look each other over in full. He looks like a traveler, covered in layers of clothing and gear you’ve never really seen before except for maybe on the strangers that wander through once in a blue moon. You’ve heard whispers that they are the ones who come from beyond the trees.
You feel safe in the numbers of your fellow villagers, a small smile spreading on your lips as the Trader sticks close to you. You get the sense that he likes it too, and you reaffirm it when you see the ghost of a smile on his lips through the mist of his mask.
You’re about to ask him something when you’re suddenly pulled from the crowd to the center, a gasp falling from your lips before the music is seconds from starting back up. You look around with concern before the Trader steps forward, his bag an afterthought as he assuages your brief fear.
You smile at him as he holds his hand out to you, the beginnings of a lively song beginning to fill your head. He feels warm, and gentle, like sunlight that pierces through the clouds.
He nods his head almost playfully at you and you follow in suit, a courtesy feeling far too formal but you give in and demonstrate anyway. Another smile crosses onto his lips, his form dipping to accommodate yours.
You melt into his warmth and dance.
#darkwood#darkwood trader#darkwood trader x reader#the trader#trader x reader#x reader#reader insert#Darkwood x reader
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
for the record - cellar gate and this whole mess.
I have thought a lot about this. I know I said I would resign from speaking further on it, but some ideas have come to my attention and so I wish to act on my conscience and consideration.
I wholeheartedly think toxic positivity is a prevalent issue in fandom and popular culture. I wholeheartedly believe it works as a silencing and tone policing for those most marginalized in our communities. I think it is something we must be critical of when we engage with each other and our expectations from fandom spaces. That being said, one of the primary reasons I am incensed at its prevalence in this fandom is because it has been fueled for all the wrong reasons: for deeply self-serving, personal, and petty reasons, and not simply to see the fandom be better.
And so, with cautious dread, I am bringing back the issue of the “Cellar Gate” or however it has come to be known.
I think it is safe to say the issue caused a fracture in opinions and people who were all at one time members. I think it is safe to say that drama and dispute has become publicly evident, if not a blaring elephant in the great big room.
I was one of several people who went public with my membership in the cellar. I did so, in part, to have some kind of autonomy and control over how the narrative was being written. I also did it to take responsibility and combat the ways in which that narrative was being twisted in inflammatory, violent, and deceitful ways. I did it because I was hearing how some of my mutuals were being adversely targeted and effected by my name being included on the “burn list” that circulated in the aftermath. I did it to prevent what I believed antagonists wanted: for a dramatic and righteous crusade to begin, which would drive out the people they believed to be “bad apples.” I did it because it was necessary.
And I believe that, considering how much was avoided in the way that conflict subsided, I considered it a worthy gambit. People were listened to, reality checks were taken, and the fanfare was allowed to settle.
Unfortunately, I think some thorns were forgotten about, and left to fester.
I think the former members/people who used the exposure of the Server and the “Salt” to mount their reckoning moral crusade have used the remains of that to persist with a narrative of positivity and inclusion. This narrative, though shiny and great on the surface, is born of toxic fruit: it was not created purely for selfless, apolitical reasoning. It was created to combat a problem they blamed us for: a cultural fixation they believe exists wherein people allow themselves to be critical bullies in the name of “social justice.” I believe they did so in part to antagonize us in public where explicit callouts could not be used. I believe they push positivity as a means of ameliorating their previous involvement in private conversations they believed malevolent harassment, though they took place in, as I said: private conversations.
In short: this positivity wave, as we have recently seen in this fandom, is not much more than a bunch of white women wanting to sleep at night again for sins they deem below their moral high-ground. You know, sins such as: privately salting about problematic fics, shit talking people they don’t like, being rude, petty, salty, and at times insensitive.
One of the reasons I owned up to shit was because I was sick of the image that was being depicted: mean people hiding in some back room somewhere, or backlog of a chat, looking for any reason to tear people apart and be cruel. I was sick of this false interpretation that minimized and reduced a substantial part of my fandom community to heartless maleficents. Especially when these “positivists” once benefitted from, and enjoyed that community as a big part of their audience and support system. Especially when they depended on that community for listening, support, feedback, and friendship. Several of them are people I once considered some of my closest friends in fandom -- people I confided in, trusted, and believed in their integrity.
Unfortunately, I was misguided.
There are several reasons I am coming up for air about this. Firstly, so that I am clear when I say it was never my intention -- or that of anyone I know -- to make it seem like this ordeal was more righteous and universal as it really was. What upset me was watching these ideas about “shutting up” and “minding your business” and “being positive” being pushed onto people who had no involvement with the Server drama, who would nonetheless read their incessant reblogs of that content and think, wow, am I a piece of shit would having criticisms for someone’s work? Am I missing the point in being in fandom when I don’t focus on the positive all the time? Because these messages are being circulated by people who, I think, don’t sincerely care about fandom positivity when it doesn’t serve them and their needs of self-soothing and self-reward. That is wrong, and that is a method of undermining and tone policing I think should be called out.
Secondly, I want to make something explicitly clear: the people pushing positivity and “minding your own business” have all, every single one, participated in the behavior they deem incorrect. They have been comforted by it, they have participated in it, and I would imagine they still do. I have an INCREDIBLY hard time believing that they do not at all speak negatively or harshly about people in fandom considering I, and several others who they deem nemeses, are still here despite their championing. I also have a hard time believing it because they have included and become friends with fandom members who they not-too-long ago verbally and explicitly despised -- people who they lobbied to be banned from the server for being manipulative and toxic, for victimizing them. Someone believed an unsafe presence for them.
And just so we’re clear on this account as well, I’m looking at you, @Tortuosity-Writes, @tanaleth, and @Allisondraste. Hope you’ve been really transparent about that with your newfound friend, @Cassandra-Pentughasst. If not, I know there are plenty of receipts to submit. It’s tax season, no? Just in case you want to suggest it was a matter of ya’ll being poisoned against each other, when you were holding the damn vials yourselves. And the only reason the links don’t work is because we have each other blocked, but somehow I think you’ll see this.
But I suppose bygones are bygones, right? Positivity! Inclusivity!
Also, just to prevent some ammunition unnecessary, and because I know well enough the people I’m working with here: I think it’s horseshit to say you’re all about shutting up and being positive while you’re still passive-aggressively shit-talking people in tags and posts, hoping maybe they’ll come across them or that they’ll cause some whispers/drama/stress for those people. Like, for example, @Cassandra-Pentughasst beautifully resentful tags:
Yep, that’s me she’s talking about. And she’s right: I took forever on a commission, was not communicative, and had spelling mistakes, ones which I sincerely apologized for. I did my best but it wasn’t on par with where I should have been. At the time, I thought I was doing it for a friend, though; and when I could, I was communicative. I even asked after sending a draft to look over if she thought it was okay, because I always do so, so my clients are happy (and people can attest to this practice, and I have email and screenshot records as well). She said everything looked good, so I believed her. It was an unfortunate situation where I wasn’t at my best and I was unprofessional.
What I am not, however, is a coward.
Which is why this kind of behavior incenses me: it makes it seem like she had no way of telling me something was wrong, or that she was unhappy. And it also makes it seem like no one in my circle is ever critical of me, or is invited to be. Apparently everyone thinks the sun shines out my flaky ass.
So, here’s my dilemma: how can people who claim they’re all about positivity, integrity, and inclusivity, possibly condone this kind of behavior? How can people who I once called friends say in all seriousness that their standard of decorum doesn’t apply here, because it’s me? Because it’s someone who didn’t agree with them?
And here’s a very particular thorn: this person, and the group above, only became friends after they all left the server and realized the enemy of thy enemy was thy friend. Before that, it was incessant shit-talking of each other, talking about how one was making them feel unsafe, how toxic they were, and how they should be kicked off or blocked from the server entirely. This person was suddenly forgiven despite the LITANY of conversations and concerns about her trustworthiness, character, and integrity.
At the end of the day, I obviously cannot control people, and they do change. My stance is, however, that none of these people have changed from who they were. They are people: they shit talk, praise, are friendly and also mean. They make mistakes and are regretful. They dislike things, and dislike people. They have animuses and grudges. They are HUMAN BEINGS like we all are.
Only one “side,” however, is trying to get people raked over the coals for admitting to partaking in “negative” behaviors. Only one side is pushing a shut-up-and-mind-your-business broad brush when they really mean they want a specific group of people to shut up. Only one side is trying to push a positivity politic that is first and foremost self-serving.
That, to me, is gross. And that is toxic to fandom as a whole. And I am sick of watching them poke, prod, passive-aggressively post, and seeing their stuff splash onto my dash even though I have them blocked. I am sick of watching it knowing a good portion of what motivates them is spite and antagonism. I am sick of people taking their word for it, and using it as reasoning to be mean to marginalized members. And for that reason I also want to make VERY SURE that no people of color feel like they are being manipulated by anything I have a part in. I want to reiterate: I believe the dysfunction and harm they have circulated to be real and consequential to more than just us tied to the server. I never ever intended false rallying.
Which is to say: their beliefs that we are obsessing over them day and night, trying to find new ways to ruin their lives and antagonize them, is bullshit. I don’t know about ya’ll, but I have, like, a day job. I have family and friends to spend time with. I have PTSD to treat. I think it is safe to say shit-talking people you dislike in private conversations, and conniving/obsessing, are two different things.
And, like I said: if any of these people have said no negative, gossipy, or disrespectful things about us, or myself, since the “Exodus,” then my word to those people are: In case you forgot, you didn’t just leave a server: you hurt a lot of people who were your friends. You made a hell of a lot of people feel unsafe and insecure with their visibility in fandom for shit they had no part in. You didn’t just exit and begin some harmless, painless agenda to bring joy to any and all around you. You fucking hurt people. Swallow that pill and recognize that talking about it -- that includes talking about you -- is a valid form of processing and healing form the disruption you caused in all of our lives. Disruption that we are still dealing with.
Lastly: I have said over and over that I do not care for clout. I do not care for popularity stakes, for “positive” cults of personality. So, if this gets me “cancelled” so be it. But I’d rather be “cancelled” for being transparent than accepted for being shady. My qualms are both broad and personal. I have personal issues with people and I have broad issues with how they are using fandom as a space to enact their false sense of inclusivity.
And at the end of it, I hope these former friends of mine understand one thing above all else: that I soberingly understand the harm they have done in their desire to live with themselves and their guilt, and it is for that reason -- for everything I saw and everything I heard in the aftermath of their need to redeem themselves and their “side” of things -- that I will never, ever forgive them. I have said many harsh things, I have said many unkind things, and I have made many mistakes. But for as long as I fucking live, I will never, ever elect to be known as someone who tried to pass their vendetta and grudges as a community-oriented, positivity-celebrating, sanctimonious cause that made numerous people, especially people of color, have to go to bat to counter and prevent from doing harm.
Also, on a personal note because why not, the fire is going to consume me anyways: you can’t block half of the femslash/wlw genre because you’re insecure about your work or have had drama with them, and then lament that there’s a lack of material. Whoops!
So, yeah, I’ve fucked up. I have. But I can also call bullshit when I see it. And if this ends my tenure in the fandom, again, so be it. I have my friends and my community, and I don’t just jump ship when I see the stormy weather ahead. I have my life, and my loved ones. And more importantly: I sleep very, very well.
Oh and, for the record, contrary to all ya’lls stuff, we aren’t a cult. And I didn’t have to ask permission for posting this from anyone, or mind my manners. I also think it’s very telling when people enact the same standards of control, us vs. them, and dehumanizing that cults are supposedly known for -- and then call us one. It’s really convenient, isn’t it? To have distance from the people you hurt and betrayed, and then say it was nothing more than a cult? And to say that their methods of healing, supporting one another, and processing their anger and pain in private is only proof that they’re a cult?
Yes. Really convenient.
So, there. You want a battle? I think you all know damn well I’m armed. All that I ask is you save your ammunition for me, and not for my friends. Not for people who had nothing to do with the mess we’ve made. Or else.
And this is all to say that, if I have made anyone feel manipulated, led-on, used, or exploited for any of this - then that is something I am responsible for and I sincerely apologize. It is behavior that is below me, and certainly not my intention, but I don’t get to decide how I impact people’s lives and their participation. So, again, I am sorry. And I respect any and all choices you make on that account.
#fandom psa#blog psa#cellar shit I guess?#here we go#maybe this is a callout post#in fact yeah it is
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Noa’s Siblings
[[MORE]]
Mateu Eduardo Ramires
Is 7 years older than Noa
Is Atlantean/ Portuguese/ Amazonian/ Japanese
Only exhibits the human and Atlantean sides
25 in season 3
ADHD
Has a deep resentment for his parents for being addicts, alcoholics, sub par parents, and also dying
Deeply respects Noa and treats her like an equal, despite the age gap, but still sees Aya as a newborn
Is very overprotective of both of them
Got mad at Aya for going to study on Themyscira and Noa for allowing it
Thinks Obachan is just a crazy old lady
His personality is a lot like their mom’s, but his morals are closer to their dad’s
Basically looks like he could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll
Looks a lot like their dad, but has their mom’s eyes
They’re a deep brown almost black
Noa is jealous of them, she hates her hazel eyes because they remind her of Ren
His hair is always a tangled mess
Is studying magic in Atlantis
Cried when he met Aquaman
Managed a way to get surface tv channels underwater and never misses a Coast City Clippers game or one of Noa’s concerts
Is frustratingly straight and sometimes forgets his sisters are not
“So meet any cute boys at school? If so, who is he? Where does he live? Who are his parents? What’s his number? I just wanna talk!”
“Noooooooo?”- Noa
*blank lesbian stare*- Aya
Is still super supportive and apologizes everytime
Even though she’s younger than him, Noa raised him
He didn’t realize at the time what was happening and how it was affecting her
Called Noa for every little thing his first year in Atlantis
But when he realized his little sister had taken care of him for the past 5 years of his life, including 1 year of adulthood, and he didn’t know how to do anything
He regrets putting her through so much pressure
Was not the person who realized this
That was brought about in a conversation with Queen Mera and Aqualad that turned awkward
Has not stopped apologizing since
It’s been 5 years
Still has not stopped
Reminds her he’s sorry once a FaceTime
Bonds with his sisters through surfing and basketball
Hates all lanterns of the emotional spectrum, but green
Especially red and blue
Has gotten really good at magic
Has always been good at magic, but like Atlantean party tricks his dad taught him
They used to cheer the girls up
Their dad had only begun teaching him serious magic a year before he died
When he got to Atlantis he realized just how far behind he was
Got specialized training from Queen Mera
Faced Atlantean “Purist” discrimination for his skin and fins
Caught up on five years worth of magic in a year
Is now training to be an Atlantean Ambassador under Garth
Is a social activist in Atlantis
No longer cries when he sees King Orin
Actually babysits the little prince every once in a while
Is protective of Queen Mera a views her as a second mother
Would never tell her that
She already knows and has already mentally accepted him as her other son
Is trained in combat
Not only by Mera, but also their parents
They were paranoid and knew their kids would be in danger, so they all knew some form of self defense, except for Aya
Dislikes superheroes in general except for Aquaman, Tempest, Wonder Woman, and the Green Lantern Corps
Loyal to his country, his heritage, and views green lanterns as space cops
Ren Elpídio Ramires
Dead
Died at age 7
Was best friends with Noa
Even though he and Noa can’t be identical twins they looked almost the exact same
But y’know with scales
Looks takes after all sides of his heritage
Shy boi
Also anxious
Like all the time
Despite the super strength and speed he was always super gentle and liked to take his time and enjoy life
Dyslexic
Always had trouble reading and writing, but loved stories
Noa used to read him to sleep from the top bunk
He was a really good storyteller and had just as much imagination as his sister
They would come up with grand adventures and Noa would write them down while he drew the pictures
They were comic books
Ren loved comic books
And superheroes
Specifically Aquaman and Wonder Woman
And of course the mighty and brave blue, red, and green lanterns of Sector 2814
Had trouble making friends in school so Noa made them for him
He had a really bad stutter
Got picked on a lot for a lot of different reasons so Noa got into a lot of fights
Loved insects
He cried when Mateu tried to force Noa into killing a spider (I know spiders aren’t insects don’t come for me)
Noa set it free outside
A cuddler and a hugger
No one is safe not even the mailman who he knows by name
Hides behind Noa whenever yelling happens
Yelling happened a lot some months, none others
Was terrified of Aya
Had never seen a baby before
She looked like an alien
Freaked him out a little that’s all
Warmed up to her soon enough
Cried when she cried
Her crying used to wake up both him and Noa at 2 am, who would attempt to wake up their parents to deal with it
Their attempts were waved off
“Let her cry it out”
They did not
Noa would remove the newborn from the crib and rock her while he fixed her bottle
He was too scared to drop her to hold her
Noa would burp and change her and they’d both sing to her until she fell asleep
Was the only other person in the house other than their mother who could handle Aya’s grip
I like to think if he hadn’t died he’d have joined the Indigo Tribe (lanterns of compassion)
Now for the sad part
Their parents had dropped them all off at Obachan’s house as she was their closest relative
All the little ones knew was that they had to go on a ‘work trip’
Thought Obachan was silly and old and reminded him of his mom
The first day was great
She fed them ice cream for breakfast and pizza for lunch and sushi for dinner and let them stay up late and eat wasabi candies for dessert
The next day was not so great
The twins woke up at 1 am puking their brains out and running high fevers
Obachan panicked and didn’t know what to do
She was drunk and didn’t want Akari to never see her grandkids again
The other day she didn’t know she had grandkids
She wanted her daughters trust back
Even if Akari did live Obachan would not have earned her trust
She decided she would drive them to the hospital like a good grandmother and left Mateu to clean up and look after Aya
She was uber drunk and exhausted bc even kind of dealing with two barfing 7 year olds is the most parenting she’d ever done
They came to an intersection
She ignored the red light
She didn’t see the flat-bed
The truck couldn’t stop
It t-boned the tail end of the car
The crash caused Obachan and Noa to fall unconscious and gave Obachan some serious neck and back issues
But the impact snapped Ren’s neck instantly and his limp body fell onto the middle car seat
Hazel eyes wide
The twins were still loosely holding each other’s hands when the paramedics came after another driver passed by and found them
The other driver involved in the crash was flung through his windshield bc he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt
Noa came to briefly while being carried into an ambulance
She looked at the lady carrying her and asked, “Ren?” Before passing out again
At the hospital when she had been treated for everything she woke up again with a start calling for Ren, her parents, Mateu, anyone, but mostly Ren
Obachan hadn’t woken up yet
The nurse who came in asked her for as much information as Noa knew or could remember
She answered every one and asked a thousand in return
The nurse finally told her that her brother had died
She threw a fit
They couldn’t calm her down she screamed and cried so much she puked again
They had to sedate her
When they told Obachan her first thought was of how Akari would never speak to her again
He was buried with his parents in the Coastville Cemetery
Noa visits by herself every Sunday and lays flowers down and talks to no one
Aya Emi Ramires
Well, that was depressing now here’s the baby!!!
Aya was 3 months old when everybody died
In season 3 she’s 11
She takes after her Amazonian heritage
Dyslexic and ADHD
Sees Noa as basically her mom
Doesn’t agree with Mateu a lot, but respects him
Also has their mother’s eyes which tortures Noa
Generally reminds both of her siblings of their mom and of Ren
She doesn’t know that, but that’s part of the reason they’re so overprotective
Noa raised her to have fun and enjoy life and not take shit from anyone
Is really good at sports
This is encouraged by Noa who is literally the captain of the cheer squad
Gets made fun of and picked on by a lot of kids both boys and girls for her strength and speed, her learning disabilities, being Japanese, and being gay
Yeah
Aya gets into fights a lot
Noa shows up to the elementary school with Obachan who pretends she can’t speak English
Noa’s former principal is now afraid of her
Aya’s outlet for anger is sculpting believe it or not
She’s pretty talented too
Isn’t really into superheroes except for green lanterns and Wonder Woman, Troia, and Wondergirl
Gets bad grades even though she’s incredibly wise beyond her years
Doesn’t get along with kids her own age
They bore her
Figured out she wasn’t straight pretty early on with a crush on Molly from Bubble Guppies when she was four
Noa also kinda normalized girlfriends with her sister talking about girls and boys at school she had crushes on
Realized she was probably a lesbian in 3rd grade when she realized she wasn’t growing out of her boys are icky phase like her sister had
Confirmed 5th grade lesbian
Does not like being treated like a baby
Eventually the question came up about what happened to their parents at family dinner
Obachan steered herself out of the kitchen right when she was about to enter it
Mateu curtly and accurately responded with, “They died.” Before tossing the dishes into the sink and sulking off to his room, slamming his door shut
Noa explained the best she could to the 5 year old, but it was hard for a 12 year old to form the right words
Also informed her of Ren in a very watered down way
Aya knows Ren existed and was Noa’s twin, but doesn’t know exactly how he died
She’s seen their comics though
Noa used to read them to her
Mateu used to stand outside the door secretly listening and trying not to cry
Is very affectionate with Noa
Will hug and cuddle her until she falls asleep
Noa forgot how rib-cracking Amazon hugs were
She’s glad Aya’s there to remind her
Aya mildly resents Mateu for leaving for Atlantis
More for leaving Noa to handle her alone
Is just as protective of her siblings as they are of her
Worries about them constantly
Especially Noa bc she’s human
When she turns ten she decides she wants to study in Themyscira where she’d be better accepted than her normal school
She was right
A lot of thought went into that on her part
Noa’s music career was skyrocketing, she had school to think about, extracurriculars, scholarships, taking care of Aya, taking care of Obachan, taking care of the cats, handling the shop, putting out new music, new videos, photo shoots, socializing with her friends, charity benefits
It took accidentally overhearing Noa have a breakdown to actually set her mind on the Themyscira decision
She brought it up to her sister who was heartbroken and the idea brought up a lot of Noa’s insecurities, but in the end Noa said yes
Noa set the whole thing up through her new friend, Garfield Logan, who was more than happy to help
Aya lives with their great-grandmothers on Themyscira
She was happy to see that they were 10x more stable than Obachan
She studies all the classics, receives combat training, has been learning Ancient Greek, and her skill with dealing with her learning disabilities has improved and even aided her in some subjects
She FaceTimes her sister everyday and Mateu every month when he checks in
She watches every one of her sister’s concerts even during training, and which she gets reprimanded for
Has asked her sister if she can meet celebrities
Noa says next time she visits she can meet whoever she wants
Her hair has lightened to a lighter brown from being out in the sun all of the time
Has entered both the dreaded horse phase and dolphin phase
#young justice#yj#young justice oc#young justice season 3#yj oc#yj outsiders#yjs2#yj season 3#yj invasion#young justice outsiders#young justice invasion#yj season 1#star sapphires#star sapphire#violet lantern#green lantern#green lantern corps#red lantern#red lantern corps#blue lantern#blue lantern corps#atlantis#amazons#amazons of themyscira#carol ferris#john stewart#guy gardner#diana prince#aquaman#noa ramires
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I have a requests ;D something like this happened to me a couple days ago which made me think of this. How would the RFA + minor trio react to a nasty rumor going around about MC and she's really upset? And maybe how they help clear up the rumor or comfort her? I hope that's not too much, thank you!! ❤️❤️
Of course, sorry to hear about the rumors though :(
I hope you enjoy it, I had a lot of fun writing it!
RFA + Minor Trio React to MC upset about a nasty rumor about her
Masterlist
Jumin
Nasty rumors are par for the course with Jumin Han
He is rich, young, talented, handsome, and started media training when he was still in diapers. Jumin does not even look at the articles about him anymore unless someone posts a screenshot in the chatroom, nor let anything people say get to him.
But he notices when something is off with your texts
Comes home early when his ‘Is something on your mind, MC?’ text goes unanswered for two hours.
You had no outings planned today, and a quick call to the head of security from Jaehee confirmed you were still at home. Why wouldn’t you answer his text? Had he done something wrong?
Wanders around the house calling your name only to find you upset in the bedroom
Briefly angry with his staff. How long had you been like this? Why hadn’t they let him know?
Sits beside you and holds your hand. He is still new to showing intimacy and emotion, and while you are the person he knows how to comfort best that’s not exactly saying much, but hand holding is easy and safe.
“Don’t cry.” He means it affectionately, but it comes out in his usual monotone and sounding more like a command “I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re saying.”
Once you calm down enough to explain he listens carefully to all the details you give him before responding
“Would you like me to hire you a PR team?”
The long silence and perplexed look on your face only seems to confuse him more.
“We can’t sue them, but a PR team could help hone your public image. I’m told there would still be some ‘internet trolls’, but good public relations management might help the world see you as the wonderful woman you are. I would, of course, hire the best team available.
You refuse the PR team, but a suspiciously timed fluff piece about you appears on the news the next day
Yoosung
He tried to be a responsible adult and run some errands
Clearly that was a mistake (same Yoosung, same)
Comes home to find you crying on the couch and panics thinking that either he has done something or something horrendously tragic has happened
Did someone die? Worse…did he forget your anniversary?
Sets down his bags in the doorway so he can come sit next to you
Pulls you into a frantic hug “MC are you okay? What happened? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
The real struggle is trying to time your explanation between his worrying and your still-hiccupping breath
When you manage to tell him, he immediately exclaims something along the lines of “But that’s not true!” He is a pure boy
Showers you with poorly-worded compliments until you’re laughing and he’s too flustered to continue
Yoosung might not be able to do much about the people who started the rumor, but he knows someone who can
Offers Seven’s assistance, and promises he’ll always stand up for you
Jaehee
Jaehee knows all of your tells
She can tell when you’re upset well before you reach the point of tears
Spends lots of extra time doting on you, giving you the opportunity to share your concerns
It is not until dinner time when her promise to make your favorite meal is received with a fake smile that she becomes truly concerned
Jaehee double checks the chat room to see if maybe you or someone else had said anything there
All she can find is Yoosung babbling about LOLOL
After dinner, Jaehee wraps you up in a blanket, brings you tea and the two of you sit on the couch while she rests her head on your shoulder
The Zen DVD is already loaded, but she leaves it on the main menu screen, playing soft intro music
Jaehee waits patiently until you tell her what’s wrong
Genuinely surprised to hear about the rumors
She spent every day with you, how did she not hear about this? Who would even think about saying something like that? You are the sweetest person she has ever met, not to mention all the two of you do is run a mildly-successful coffee shop. What would anyone have to gain from this?
Puts aside her questions in favor of taking care of you, though
She had a rough time with her aunt, and has dealt with a few women who thought she was more than just Jumin’s assistant, not to mention the criticisms she received from the man himself while on the job
Her specialty is not letting the things people say get to her
“It’s just baseless gossip, MC. The only thing it can really hurt is your feelings, and that’s only if you let them. The people who said those things about you only said them because they have nothing better to do than try to tear you down. Please don’t feel sad over people who are so far beneath you.”
Zen
Your relationship remains low profile for the sake of Zen’s career, but it still exposes you to a lot more media attention
Zen had a lot of rumors and scandals about him, usually from click bait sites trying to get views
Most of them were laughable, and most of the rest were ignorable, but scandals could be a real problem if they ended up big enough or on the right outlets
What if this rumor got him in trouble?
When Zen comes home and finds you upset you suddenly find yourself sitting in his lap with your head on his chest
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
Borderline obnoxiously affectionate if you do not want to talk about it, wraps himself around you and places soft kisses everywhere he can reach until you give in
“Baaaaabe?”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right Princess?”
While you tell him about the rumors, he is ever the performer, eyes widening at just the right reveals, kisses to your temples when you get particularly distraught, and finished with a dramatic scoff at the end.
“People can be idiots, but this is getting out of hand. How stupid does someone have to be to think that about you!?”
Insists you do an interview with the press and dispel the rumor, contract be damned.
“It’s one thing for there to be rumors about me, but I want the world to see you the way I do: as the most beautiful woman inside and out.”
Saeyoung/707
He is knee deep in building a new toy prototype in his workroom and has been for most of the day
Very excited to show it to you, because you always find his endo-skeletons adorable, even when everyone else is deeply disturbed
Then he hears a familiar high-pitched voice
“I turn on when I sense depression!”
The little jingle and mechanical whirring tells him Meowy’s dance program must have started
Was Saeran having a bad day?
No, wait…Saeran went out today with Yoosung. You had made a huge deal about it and packed them both lunches
“MC…?” He leaves his work room to come to the bedroom, presenting the still-dancing Meowy on the flats of his palms to you for you to silence
“Meowy goes to sleep now!” He puts the robot on the bedside table and flops onto the bed with you
“Should we pray to God7 for salvation?” When his joking doesn’t work, he snuggles up to you, gently nudging you until you move into the position he wants so he can press his forehead to yours and look into your eyes.
“If I could, I would hack your brain. But I can’t, so I need you to talk to me. What’s wrong, MC?”
You explain about the rumors while he strokes your hair soothingly with one hand.
“Oh, is that all? Show me who said it and I’ll make sure their computers never work again.” There is a sadistic grin on his face that makes you doubt the ethics of following his instructions
People say nothing is ever deleted from the internet, but Saeyoung makes sure every trace of any mean thing about you is gone. Then, he hacks the perpetrators social media accounts, posting a carefully curated selection of their most humiliating photos and leaving them locked out of their accounts.
Anything they said about you will be long-forgotten over new, lower hanging fruit
And, of course, he sends the computer-wrecking viruses he promised you earlier. Just for good measure.
V/Jihyun
“Honey, I’m home!” He calls out, because it always makes you smile
But you seem more shocked than pleasantly surprised to see him
He can see the puffiness in your eyes, and the redness at the outer corners from rubbing the tears away
He can hear your breath catch every few rounds, threatening a sob
Something happened.
Closes the distance between the two of you so he can wrap his arms around you
After a moment for you to adjust, he presses a gentle hand to your cheek and guides you to look him in the eyes
He is endlessly loving, voice nearing a coo as he asks “what happened, my love?”
he cradles you to his chest so you can hear his heart beat while he rubs soothing circles into your back
Of all of them, he is the most patient, willing to wait as long as you need before you talk even if that means coming back to it another day
You tell him about the rumors and, more importantly, how much they hurt you
“I’m sorry,” he says. Old habits die hard, and even now it still sounds like an apology rather than an expression of sympathy.
“I hope you know they’re wrong, MC, and everyone who truly matters in your life will know that, too. You are the kindest, brightest woman I have ever met. These rumors will pass.”
If the rumor goes beyond a small-scale, he will ask Jumin to help handle it
Saeran
Saeran comes out of the shower to find you curled up in a ball
He has no idea how to comfort people, so he just mimics what you and Saeyoung do for him
“MC?” He is super nervous and awkward about sitting next to you and trying to give you a hug
Pairs it with uncomfortable hair petting. It ends up being more like a toddler petting a cat than stroking a lover’s hair, but the sentiment is nice
Once the two of you find a comfortable position, he’ll just sit with you quietly until you’re ready to talk
But he won’t let you leave until you tell him your problem
Once you explain about the rumors he. Is. Livid.
He grew up in an abusive household
His mother hurled insults at him every day for most of his life, regardless of whether or not they were true or accurate
Saeran is sure he deserved every bad thing anyone has said about him, but you don’t
He also knows exactly how much it can hurt
You are the kindest person he has ever met, which he grumbles at you angrily to try and make you feel better
Brings you your hot drink of choice, because Saeyoung told him ice cream does not comfort everyone the same way it comforts the two of them
Listens carefully while you tell him what’s wrong
If you do not volunteer the information, he’ll ask casually about details and names
He doesn’t mean to be manipulative with you, but until recently it is the only tactic he has known
Plus, he knows you aren’t nearly as vengeful as he is and plans to destroy them whether you like it or not
Opts to not actually destroy their lives in the end, a testament to how much he loves you
Instead he ends up taking you out for ice cream (“that’s bullshit. Ice cream makes everything better, Saeyoung.”) with money stolen from the perpetrators’ bank account(s)
Vanderwood
He is not the kind of guy who jumps head first into conversations about your feelings
So yeah, he notices when you start feeling down, but he doesn’t bring it up for a while in hopes you will tell him yourself
Instead he bides his time by putting his arm around you while the two of you read together on the couch
He gives in and asks after he watches you read the same sentence three times in a row
“Why are you sighing like that?” You didn’t sigh, but if you point that out he’s going to insist that you did.
You tell him about the rumors, and while you talked he has managed to slowly pull you in closer and closer to him until you’re basically in his lap with him nuzzled in your hair
“That’s a stupid thing to get upset over,” he says gruffly, cutting you off as soon as he gets the details he needs. If he lets you go on for too long you’ll just work yourself up and that won’t help anybody.
“People are going to say whatever they think will get them what they want, regardless of if it’s true or not. Most of my job is telling people lies they want to hear and picking my enemies carefully. The idiots who started those rumors about you, they want to see you upset, think it’ll earn them something. You moping like this is only letting them win. If you want to beat them at their own game, all you have to do is keep living like you were before. Got it?”
If you still seem unhappy later though, he might ask Seven for a favor
#mystic messenger#mystic messenger imagines#mystic messenger headcanons#jaehee kang#mm jaehee#jumin han#mm jumin#saeyoung#707#mm 707#saeyoung choi#saeran#mm saeran#mm vanderwood#vanderwood#v#jihyun kim#mm v#yoosung#yoosung kim#mm yoosung#zen#mm zen#hyun ryu#ask#requests#mine#houseofdancing
282 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello. May i get seventeen scenario about their s/o who has important position in a company (ceo, etc) who rarely tell them what's wrong bcs she doesnt wanna bother him and one day she's like faint//break down bcs of the stress? Hehe is this too detail? If yes, then pls do whatever you'd love to write ❤ ( the member involved is up to you 😁 ). Thankyou! Have a great day 🙇
Hello, Thank you for sending in your request!! Thank you for giving us the opportunity to write for a member that we have not written for yet. Let us know what you think and don’t be shy :) Thank you again and N’joy!!
PAR T_T IME
Admin AJ
It’s the first corporate meeting of the new year. You are sitting at a table with other executives and administrators of your corporation.“Here we have a graph of the corporation income through the last decade.”
You sit and watch as the executive uses his pointer to follow the height of each bar.
“As you can see, this graph represents last year and the previous year before that.”
You see that the two graphs have minimal changes between each other but you did notice that last year’s income did have a subtle decline.
“Due to last years low profits, there needs to be a reduction in labor cost.”
You raise your hand, the executive acknowledges you with his pointer, “Yes, Ms. l/n.”
“Mr. Lee when you suggest a reduction, what do you mean by that?”
The executive looks at you with disbelief, “A reduction, as in lay-offs, letting people go.”
He then turns his attention to the other administrators within the room continuing with his presentation. “I suggest we start with those too unfit to carry on in the industry. I mean who can argue with an early retirement.” Some of the other executives laugh, as if some peoples life were something to toy with.
You cut into their laughter, “Those employees that are still working are those that cannot afford an early retirement.”
They made a quick comeback, not even considering the worlds they were about to destroy, “You cannot afford to keep employees if you do not make any profit. We are barely breaking even.” This didn’t sit right with you, at all, and you quickly tried to come up with some kind of compromise that didn’t result in people losing their jobs, “What if we suggest a pay cut. I’m sure we can reason with the employees…”
The man at the head of the table raised his brow at your suggestion, “Are you willing to risk the company as a whole just to keep some ensure everyone has a job?”
The executive prevented you from saying anything more as he continued to speak.“If you continue to think this way, everyone will be jobless. Remember it’s not personal, but ‘Business is Business.’ As for now I believe this meeting is finished.”
————
You watch as the conference room begins to empty as everyone gets up to leave. You were very much aware of the whispers among the other administrators about your supposed carelessness. Before he leaves, Mr. Lee places a folder on the table in front of you, “Here is the list of employees that up for debate about their employment. You can look over them to make a final decision.”
You open the folder seeing that it contained a list of at least 50 employees in it along with their information. Some have been with the company since the beginning, Hwang Kinam; 15 years in the company, While others are gaining a fresh start, like Kwang Jihae; graduate from Seoul University. You continue to look through the list, some have families that needed to be supported, like Kim Minsun; caretaker of two grandchildren. There was not one person over the other that deserved to be let go. Each of them performed to the best of their ability. You couldn’t make a choice not here, not now.The atmosphere was suffocating within the meeting room and you were desperate to leave. You decide to work from home, not wanting to have a chance encounter with any of the individuals on the list. You collect your belongings and head for the elevator, the things in your arms seemed heavier than usual today. ‘A few more step,’ you catch yourself thinking reaching out for the button next to the silver doors.
“Oh thank goodness. You are still here.” A soft, kind voice reaches you. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was, and you realized today was not your lucky day.
“Oh! Mrs.Kim.” You say as you turn to greet the older lady, your heart aches as you remember that she is one of the employees up for debate.
“I went to your office and noticed that you were not there.” She lifts her hand up revealing a small box. “Here share this with that boyfriend of yours.” She placed the box in your hand.
You feel guilty accepting the gift but she insists. “Mrs.Kim this is lovely. I can’t accept this. Maybe you should share this with your grandchildren.”
She smiles at you, “Nonsense, those kids are sweet enough. Please accept this as a thank you for giving this old lady a chance to provide you her services.” She bows and leaves, with purpose fueling her steps.
You feel your throat tighten as you bow deeply, “No, thank you for everything.” You attempt a small smile, “Have a good night Mrs. Kim.” You quickly step into the elevator not giving a chance to have your facade fall.
——
Once at home you began to make phone calls trying to reach out to partnered corporations. You sat at your desk which files and paperwork cover. You were keeping your mind busy, trying to multitask between typing on your laptop and making phone calls.
“Hello Director Park, I was calling about that project we had discussed earlier this month. Is there a possible way to set it in motion?”
You here the front door open and look up to see, your boyfriend of 3 years,taking off his shoes by the front door. He was wearing a comfortable outfit, he must be coming straight from practice. He looks up, eyes immediately looking to were you currently sat. His light brown eyes warm with affection, curl slightly upwards at the end, crinkling sightly as a smile spread across his face. He does a small wave, you smile, despite your current mood, he had this effect on you.
You sat and hoping it was convincing enough to make him not worry about your condition right now. The phone was still pressed to your ear as you received not completely reassuring news,“Okay you’ll consider. Thank you very much.” You hang up your phone, trying not to get discouraged yet.
As you hung up the phone, you felt a soft pressure on the top of your head. You turn to see Joshua, eye level with you as he crouched down to your level. He takes your busy hands away from their task, as he rubs them. “You feel a little cold,” he chuckles as he tries to warm up your hands. He looks toward the kitchen “Have you eaten yet, Y/n?”
It hits you then, you were too preoccupied with work that you forgot to make dinner. “Josh, I’m sorry.” You apologize, you hadn’t meant to forget to make the dinner. You didn’t want to burden Joshua, so you went to get up to make something really quickly.
He kissed your hands as he stood up, he held one hand up like the stop sign, “There’s no need to be. Hang tight.”
You gaze lingers as you watch the busy back of Joshua, currently digging through the cupboards for your dinner.
“Okay tonights menu consist of” Joshua creates his own drum roll as he sets down two package of ramen, one behind the other, as he says “We have Chicken flavor” You can hear the crackling of plastic as he shuffles the packages around. “And beef!”
“What does the chef recommend.” you play along.
Joshua’s eyes light up with amusement, and he puts his hand up to his chin, thinking, “I like beef in general.”
You laugh, “I’ll take the beef.”
“Coming right up! A bowl of beef ramen for the pretty lady.” The once quiet kitchen is now lively as you watch Joshua prepare the ramen.
You get up from where you are sitting and walked towards Joshua. You wrap your arms around his back, attempting to make him feel how grateful you were for having someone like him.
You rub his back affectionately, your version of a message, and say, “You must be tired.”
“Today was just a meeting discussing about our upcoming comeback and some vocal practice today. So it wasn’t too bad.” He chuckled, his shoulders rising and falling, “As soon as I walked through our front door and saw you working, I felt better. Besides it looks like you had a tough day. Anything happen at work?” He questioned as he turned to face you as he gets ready to listen, giving you all his attention as he always does.
“Oh you had a meeting today too. How was that?”
Your hands tighten on the front of his shirt and your breath is shaky. You averted you gaze away from his eyes, worried he would see the truth.
“It was okay.” You answer briefly, not giving any details.
Before any more questions could be asked, your phone rings and you sigh, “I should probably answer that.”
You pull away from his comforting embrace and the kitchen to answer your phone. Its one of your partnered corporations that seemed the most promising to help with your predicament. You don’t say much as you hang up the phone after thanking them for their consideration. You stand for a moment with the phone still pressed to your ear despite its silence, trying to process what was said. ‘Okay’ you think, ‘I can think of something else.’ You try to convince yourself that you can find another way. ‘Just because you couldn’t get any partnered companies to help doesn’t mean that you will still have to lay off some people…’ a tear escapes its confinement from your eyes.’right?’ You were close to breaking and you were struggling to keep yourself together. ‘Come on, _____.’ you stifle a sob, ‘You can do this.’ You say to yourself, hoping that saying these words to yourself would kickstart your brain into thinking of what to do next.
“Oh! You bought a cake?” Joshua questioned from the kitchen, reminding you of the world that was still going on around you. With the mention of the cake from Mrs.Kim, you felt the onset of a completely new break down. One for those you were too incompetent to help. You tried to stay quiet but you couldn’t calm yourself down.
Your attempts to try to keep yourself together failed as you felt yourself slowly become undone. The tears and sniffles were unable to be calmed as you felt a little sob come up. Quiet, was no longer an option as you felt a warm pair of arms wrap you in a comforting way pushin your head gently to their chest. Joshua placed his hand on your head and ran his hand down, trailing your hair. The slow pace he went at and the beats of his heart you could faintly hear both working to calm you down. “Im sorry,” were the only words you could get out at this moment. Joshua in that moment just embraces you, pulling you closer to his body and just holds you staying quiet as you cry.
After you were able to speak again, you tell him what has happened at your work. You also told him that you felt bad about breaking down in front of him.
He smiles as he says, “Trust me. Even if I am busy I am more than willing to listen to your happiness and joy.” He placed his hands on your cheeks, wiping your tears away. His hands pulling you to look at him. “But I also want you to share with me the concerns, stressors, and sadness you feel. The weight of your world is much easier if I am there beside you carrying some of the weight too, just as you do for me.”
#seventeen#seventeen scenarios#joshua#joshua hong#hong jisoo#kpop scenarios#joshua scenarios#jisoo scenarios#aj
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
One Day at a Time
Request: Sam soulmate AU where you and he share a mark on your body
Characters: Sam x Reader
A/N: Another long overdue request. I apologize that its not exactly up to par but I’m trying to get back into the writing game so please be understanding and let me know what you think
The now black skin swirled in and out of the paler skin, as if basket weaving itself to you, as if it weren’t nearly a mark upon your skin but rather a part of you.
Or perhaps it wasn’t trying to attach itself to you but rather escape from you, perhaps that thing was you.
But no that couldn’t be, the witch had said she was doing you a favor by giving it to you so she couldn’t have meant to take anything away from you. But could you really take a witch at her word? She had just spent the last hour torturing you surely she meant it sarcastically.
You ran your thumb softly over it, it felt like your skin, maybe it really was you. Maybe it was your soul, working its way to flee your body, slipping through the new formed gaps in your skin. Maybe-
You thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door shortly followed by the turning of the door knob. You quickly shielded your wrist from view behind your body just as a tall, long haired, brown eyed moose appeared in your doorway.
“Hey y/n” he offered a small, sympathetic smile as he came to sit next to you on your bed, his eyes never leaving yours as he crossed the room.
“Hey Sam” you croaked slightly, unable to keep your weakness from showing through your voice.
You could see the worry in his expression as he searched your eyes for answers he knew you wouldn’t give him “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“course Sam” You tried to smile, with all your might you willed one onto your face but could manage no more than a slight tug on the corners of your mouth “I’ve been through much worse trust me”
That seemed to do nothing to console him as he sighed slightly “Still…you know it’s alright if you’re not”
“not what”
“not ok”
Of course, it wasn’t alright. You were a hunter for gods sake. It was your job to protect people from an enemy they don’t know exists. People were dying, of course you couldn’t take a second to worry about your unimportant injuries. It was nothing bad, a few cuts here, bruises there, and of course the mark but neither brother needed to know about that, it was your cross to bear so to speak. But of course you couldn’t tell Sam this, you didn’t need a lecture on how you needed to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else and you especially didn’t need Sam to see anymore weakness in you then he already did.
“I know Sam but really I’m fine” You fought the urge to take his hands in your own, squeezing them softly and looking into his eyes to prove to him that you were fine, but of course you weren’t and this simple action alone could prove just that to him “I just need some time to myself you know?”
Sam nodded, casting his gaze to the floor “Of course Y/N take all the time you need” He looked back up at you with those gorgeous puppy dog eyes that nearly broke you “Just let me know if I can do anything ok?”
Oh, how you wanted to cup his face in your hand and console him, softly rub your thumb over his cheek and tell him that everything was perfect because you clearly weren’t the only one in pain here. “Of course, Sam”
He nodded again, looking back down at the floor before pushing himself to his feet and leaving the room without a word, shutting your door behind him.
You bit your lip harshly as your shoulders slumped, you were not going to cry, crying solved nothing.
-
A month had passed before you were ready to admit defeat. You’d gone through every book in the library and every article the internet had to offer.
It’d been just as long since you’d been on a hunt with the Winchesters, nearly that long since you had had an actual conversation with them.
Which was why, at least in part, you were so nervous to be sitting in front of them today asking for their help.
You hadn’t even said a word yet but you could see you were the sole object of their attention as they sat in mirrored postures, back rigid and straight with slightly clenched jaws and eyes on you.
“I-uh” you stuttered, wondering how best to approach the topic of you lying to them for an entire month before you decided it was best to just rip the band aid off. With a deep breath you raised your hand and set it on the table with your wrist up, showing them your mark this time with no makeup or long sleeves to hide it.
The two were silent as they just stared at it, Dean in confusion while Sam in what seemed to be shock, his mouth hanging open slightly as his hands fumbled with something in his lap.
Finally, Dean decided to break the silence “So you got a tattoo?”
You shook your head, not drawing your eyes from your wrist to look at either of them “No…it just sort of-“
“appeared”
Now it was your turn to be shocked as you looked up at Sam to see him place his hand on the table with the exact same mark staring up at you.
“Wha-where did you-“ You couldn’t even bring yourself to finish a sentence, so in shock to see the exact same mark on someone else’s wrist. How could he have it as well? You were alone when the witch gave it to you.
“It just sort of appeared, shortly after that witch case about a month ago” You could see that he was purposefully not meeting your eyes, forcing himself to stare at your wrist.
“That witch…she gave it to me…said she was doing me a favor” You spoke in small, broken batches of words, desperately trying to understand what was happening.
You kept your eyes on Sam as Dean spoke next “So what does this mean?”
At this he looked back at you with what was quite possibly the most sympathetic look you had ever seen only causing you to be more confused. “I-I”
At this Sam’s expression changed drastically into one of realization “You don’t know?” He breathed the words out sending an unpleasant chill down your spine as you shook your head.
“Y/n…it means we’re soul mates”
You felt all the air leave your lungs as you stared back at him in shock, your mouth hanging open slightly “soulmates?”
“I looked around for answers” Sam said softly, his eyes casting back down to the table “People say when a mark like this appears on your skin your destined to be with whoever has the matching one”
You nodded slowly, taking deep breaths as you thought this through. You and Sam, soulmates. You were destined to be with the man you’ve had a crush on for years. Sam Winchester was your soulmate. You had to fight a smile at the thought of this though your world quickly came crashing back down around you.
“We’ll find a way to get out of this”
You felt your heart leap into your throat as these words left the younger Winchesters mouth.
He moved his hand and placed it on top of your own and looked deeply into your eyes “I promise”
“Right”
It was all you could think of to say, of course he didn’t want to be with you. Why would he? He was the great Sam Winchester so far out of your league you weren’t sure the two of you were even playing the same sport. Why on earth would he want to be soulmates with plain old you?
Without saying a word, not that you were sure you would be able to, you drew your hand out from under his and left the room, not making eye contact with either of them.
“Y/N wait up”
You could hear his footsteps as he ran to catch up though you neither slowed nor sped up, unsure of if you wanted him to catch you, to try and explain himself to you, but of course he did. He came up beside you and stopped in front of you, putting his hands on your shoulders to keep you from moving. And though you hate to admit it your skin still tingled under his touch.
“Y/N that’s what you want right?”
“Sam it doesn’t matter what I want” You sighed, not daring to look up at him
“You don’t and I’m not going to force you into anything”
“Does this mean you don’t want to stop it”
You only shrugged in response, not looking up until he placed a finger beneath your chin and brought your gaze up to meet his.
“Y/N what do you want”
Your lip wobbled slightly as you struggled to regain your composure. “Look Sam” You sighed “I like you…a lot…have for quite some time so being soulmates doesn’t sound like the worst think in the world”
Sam sighed at this, letting his hands slip off your shoulders causing you to panic slightly again “Y/N I like you too and that’s the problem”
You could feel yourself freeze. How is that a problem Sam?”
“You know my track record Y/N” Sam sighed “My past relationships all end in death”
You could feel anger rising within you as you clenched your jaw “Sam I can take care of myself”
“I know that Y/N believe me I do” He quickly reassured you, his arms falling to his sides “I just can’t risk it, I can’t lose you”
“Even if it means we can never be together”
“Even if”
A moment of silence passed between you two. “Sam all those relationships were in your past, there’s no saying that the same will happen to me”
“And there’s no saying it won’t” Sam was quick to reply “I can’t take that chance”
“And I can’t go back to normal after hearing this” You all but yelled “Sam you can’t let past misfortunes scare you into present decisions”
Another wave of silence passed between you as Sam thought it over, you ready to desperately hang on to whatever comes out of his mouth and ready to refute it immediately if need be.
“Y/N you just mean too much to me”
“And you mean the world to me Sam which is why I’m willing to take this chance, just please tell me you are too”
Sam stopped talking again thinking it over once more before replying “I suppose you are a hunter, you’re in danger no matter what I do”
You chuckled at this, biting your lip “That’s the spirit”
Sam chuckled back in response making you smile “So we’re going to try this whole soulmates thing then?”
“Yeah” You grinned, reaching out and taking his hand in your own “we’ll take it one day at a time”
“I like that”
“Good” You smiled again “Me too”
#Sam Winchester#Sam Oneshot#sam imagine#sam one shot#sam x reader#supernatural#supernatural oneshot#supernatural imagine#supernatural one shot
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since I feel vaguely sick
I am going to write at length about Psych.
Spoilers below the cut, which is why there is a cut.
So this will be rambly as crap I am sorry.
First off. Shawn and Gus. Are amazing. I love them. Their friendship is so good? And wonderful? Because it is real! Those dorks fight! But are friends! Their whisper fights are my favorite because by the end of every one you can no longer understand them, but they freaking can. They can bounce off each other so well. And their families clearly just accept they have a second son at this point. Ahh. More on them in a moment.
Also. So, a small bit about me so you understand this next part. I don‘t usually care about romantic relationships. My ace and aro-specness for me makes it hard to care about romance unless I care abut the people involved (which is why I love hearing about my friends relationships). Also in fiction, I usually feel like a lot of stuff is forced, etc.
That being said. I would die for Shawn and Jules. Like. Wow.
First off, I hc Shawn as bisexual demiromantic so much. Bi because have you met him (specifically the street racing episode?). And demiromantic because even though he’ll flirt with everyone, it takes time for him to actually feel romantic attraction. And even though I am 99% certain this isn’t canon, it is still a really cool thing because it isn’t painted as a bad thing? Just bless.
And then Shawn and Jules specifically. Shawn is very open about being a commitment-phobe, partly due to his parent’s relationship and divorce. And that is understood throughout. And Jules never pushes him intentionally. Like, when they went on their romantic getaway, Shawn was worried she was expecting a ring and other things. And he finally explained this, and she was said no, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Like. She understood that wasn’t ok and apologized. And when Shawn was drugged and asked to move in, and he realized when he was sober and was terrified and again talked to her, she said it was fine if he didn’t and understood that he wasn’t ready and didn’t push him even though she kind of wanted it to happen. Just. Communication and not treating Shawn’s feelings like they didn’t matter and he just needed to get over it. Ahhhhhh.
And also. I am not a fan of Will They Won’t They both because of reasons above and just it annoys me because most of the time, the ‘problems’ were either there the whole time and known and are now suddenly a problem OR a misunderstanding that could be easily solved if they talked for five minutes. But again, S and J don’t do that (for the most part). Like. Here’s how theirs goes:
- Shawn flirting, Jules like eh.
-Jules slowly becoming interested
-Jules trying to ask Shawn out right when he just stared with Allison. Like just started. And that’s timing and all, which neither could have foreseen and it’s so goooood.
Now as a quick side note, I feel like Allison got a short shrift for whatever reason. Like. She is barely there and suddenly they break up? It’s weird. But anyway.
And another side note: Shawn and Jules have a conversation about their feelings and agree they want to be friends despite it all and *yelling* and I love that they addressed that reality and ahhhhh.
-Jules starts dating Declan who is in a situation similar to Shawn (fake professional something). He (Declan) comes clean and Jules stays with him and Shawn Spencer screams into the void.
- Jules kisses Shawn in D’s house and holy what? Ah. And this was after she overheard him talking to Gus (more about that in another section) and ah.
- Then they get together and my heart is so happy.
- They are great and healthy and yay.
- AND THEN Jules Finds Out. And the isn’t some little misunderstanding. This is earth shattering for Jules and Shawn. She has been established as someone who has had issues with honesty from people in her life, and this is a big thing. And we see Shawn Spencer forced to try to choose between his work and Jules and ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
More on that last point. Shawn really really cares about his work. First episode he is literally in the middle of getting it on and he calls in a tip. It becomes a part of him. He tells Jules in the aftermath tat this is how he does good. And we know he is scared and unsure and this is how he defines himself. He is no one without his gift. And he is no one if he isn’t saving people.
- The entire turn left or right episode. Is art. I hate it because it is so good ahhhh.
- The conversation mentioned above. Shawn feels like he needs to keep doing this because it is who he is. Jules feels like he is making her lie to people for him, which again is something she is fundamentally against. She says if he does;t come clean to the chief, there isn’t a chance.
-and then SHAWN WALKS INTO THE POLICE STATION ABOUT TO DO IT. And Jules sees and she stops him. Because Shawn cares about her, but she cares about him. And she realizes that making him give up everything would be selfish of her, rather than him being selfish for not. HOWEVER, they still aren’t fixed because it is still a big deal. Neither was absolved in this. It was just both of them working towards understanding. Jules didn’t just melt; she rethought, but still isn’t ok, which is fine.
- they do eventually get back. I cry.
- Jules is offered the job in SF. Takes it after all the excitement. They promise to make it work. I cry.
Also I just love Shawn being romantic like again I am not super into romance but I love him and his words.
So that’s where we are when we get to the finale. Oh god. The finale. I was screaming at top volume. Like. Screaming.
So it’s called ‘The Break Up’. And I am Worried because I think ‘oh no, they are going to pull a Shawn breaks up with Jules sad sad and it will be stupid’.
And they start the episode with Shawn making some kind of video blog thing? Saying things like ‘I saw this coming’ and all? And then calls Jules and says he can’t do this anymore and I am mad?
And then he says he is moving up to be with her. Oh my god cool! Yay!
And then she asks what Gus said.
And James Roday once again broke my heart into pieces by pausing a long time before saying ‘I haven’t told him.’
The Break Up refers to him and Gus. They are saying the friendships are on par with romance and they are hard and messy and scary sometimes.
This is when I started screaming.
*plays theme song*
So we go through the episode. And Shawn is asking everyone for advice about how to tell Gus. And hugging everyone. He’s dropping hints throughout to Gus who is confused because Shawn Spencer is a dork and I love him.
And through it all, I am waiting to see how Shawn will do this.
And then you realize the video blog throughout? It’s for Gus. Because Shawn never told him.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
And then Shawn gets into it. He talks about how he saw Gus at his new work place. How 1. Gus was saying things Shawn didn’t know about him and 2. Gus was doing so well and moving up in this new company.
And Shawn goes into this whole thing about how he is doing a video because he was never good at the hard stuff, and he’s sorry for that. How he’s been an awful friend. How if he hadn’t gotten Gus involved Gus would have been doing so much more and how everything was his fault and that he was sorry. I felt this all deeply and was sobbing like the child I am. And then Shawn gets up in the video. He clearly saved Gus for last because it’s GUS, and he leaves. Gus found this video taped to his desk, which means Shawn had to go in and fight with himself about it all before hiding it and running away. And I just.
And then we see Lassie’s video. Oh god. Shawn says that he is grateful that Lassie was Jules’s partner, how he was probably one of the only people who cared as much about her as he did, and ll this stuff. And then he says ‘So you deserve the truth. You were one of the only ones to always question my methods. And, you deserve the truth. I am not-’
And then Lassie pauses the video. And ejects it. And looks at it. He looks at it for a long time. And you can see in his eyes how he is thinking about what this video would have meant to him previously. How he would have gloated, told everyone, ruined Shawn. But then he smiles slightly and breaks the disk and throws it out. And then he calls Marlowe to talk to his baby and AHHHHHH.
And then Shawn gets to SF and finds Jules and they are talking in a crime scene and Gus shows up. And he goes off. He quit his job to come be with Shawn because he realized that Shawn, even though they did a lot of dangerous stuff, made him an adventurer and happy. He told Shawn off for apologizing and said he would always be his friend and they would do whatever needed to be done and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Their friendship.
AND THEN. AND. THEN. At the very end. Shawn proposes to Jules. And it combines his best words with checking with Gus the whole time which is So Good, and him saying that Gus will always be there and all kinds of beautiful stuff and Jules said yes and it is so good.
Ahhhhh.
So in case you couldn’t tell, I love Shawn a lot. He is funny, yeah. But he is also smart as crap. He is good at what he does. He is dealing with a lot of self doubt and even loathing. His entire thing to Gus had me sobbing because I feel like that constantly. There are so many times where he shows his much he cares about Gus and others, but in moments where he can express it he can’t. Just. Shawn freaking Spencer.
To conclude, Psych is wonderful and one of my favorite twists on Sherlock Holmes. I love the humor and the characters. I am so excited for the movie.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lost Boys Never Apologize // Peter Pan Imagine
a/n: requests are open so please send in any imagine or headcanon requests (I’m on summer break and don’t have a social life so I’ll have lots of time to write)
Peter Pan x reader
Part One
Part Two
Target practice always was your strong suit. But others? Maybe not so much. You could shoot an apple off of any of the Lost Boys heads while blindfolded, that’s how good you were. However, your best friend Nathan (who was considerably younger than the rest of the Lost Boys) had the worst aim you had ever seen. And Pan never failed to remind him of it. “Give him a break!” You whispered angrily to Pan who had decided today to be extra hellish and dedicate all of today’s training to target shooting. You were half glad when you found out this news because that meant an easy day for you, but Nathan was struggling so much it pained you to watch.
“Love, how is Nathan going to get better if I don’t push him?” Pan asked, keeping his eyes fixed on the practice in front of him. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his nickname for you. After demanding almost everyday for him to not call you love, darling, or sweetheart, he only increased the amount of times he used those words, so eventually you pretended to ignore it. In reality, whenever he combined that thick accent with those sweet words to address you, your heart beat sped up and your palms would sweat. But then again, he was being a dick to your best friend today.
You tried to clear your mind from the thought of Pan and his hypnotizing words and focus on what was happening in front of you- Nathan being pushed almost to his breaking point. “He’s younger and smaller than the rest of us, he can’t take this much training,” you protested. If Pan thought he could treat your friend like garbage just because he can, well he was in for a rude awakening. Pan rolled his eyes and turned to face you head on. He towered over you with a sense of dominance and you were taken aback by how much taller than you he was. You straightened your back to become eye level with him, if this was going to be a fair debate there was no way in hell you would let him know you were intimidated by him.
“Give him a break,” you repeated, this time harsher than the first. Pan cocked his head to the side and arched an eyebrow, pretending to think. But you knew that look and it no longer fooled you. That was the look of Pan about to do something worse than what he already had planned.
“Boys! Stop the training!” He yelled suddenly, and you winced because of what you knew was about to happen next. The Lost Boys gathered around you and Pan, awaiting for their next set of commands. Your eyes found Nathan’s in the crowd and your heart broke at how defeated he looked. You mouthed, “I’m sorry,” to him which earned you a small smile back. Nathan knew you were trying your best to lessen the load Pan was putting on him, but you ended up just making it worse.
“Line up in a horizontal line,” Pan said, pointing to where he wanted his minions to go. As everyone started to march to their positions, Pan held onto Nathan’s shirt collar. “Not you,” he growled with a hint of amusement behind his voice. Nathan looked scared beyond his wits and it took every fiber in your being not to reach out and help him, but you knew you couldn’t. If you disobeyed Pan’s rule again the punishment on Nathan would only be worse, so you kept quiet.
Pan pulled Nathan to the front of the line and placed an apple atop his head. You exhaled deeply with the knowledge that Nathan wasn’t going to get hurt, this was one of Pan’s less dangerous games.
“Now,” Pan said, pacing in front of the Lost Boys. “My beautiful darling over here,” Pan winked at you, your stomach not deciding if it should get butterflies or churn in disgust, “seems to think today’s training is too hard on our friend Nathan here.” Pan held out his hand and 17 bows materialized in his hand. “I don’t agree,” he said.
Then Pan walked among the boys, handing out one bow and five arrows to each one. “I want all of you to take as many shots at Nathan as you can, aim for the apple, but if you miss- well that would be unfortunate for him,” he chuckled darkly at his last remark. Your stomach dropped. This was nothing like Pan’s usual games. You knew plenty of the boys in that line had aim that was below par and you knew that there was a high risk of Nathan getting hit.
“Pan,” you stepped forward urgently, wanting to shut this down as quickly as you could before Nathan got hurt. “Quit your bullshit, this is too dangerous and you know it,” you said hoping against hope that Pan would for once be decent and agree with you.
He smiled and a shiver went through your spine. Why am I attracted to this monster when he’s about to hurt one of my friends? You thought to yourself.
“Right you are, sweetheart, right you are,” he repeated in a tone that made you conclude that he was not going to be civil about this. Suddenly, he yelled, "ready, aim, SHOOT,” and the arrows went flying. What happened next shattered your heart into a million pieces.
One arrow flying from who knows where struck Nathan directly in the heart, killing him instantly. You cried out in pain and rage, rushing towards your fallen friend. You cradled him to your chest and tried to coax him awake, but you knew it was useless. He was gone.
You looked back up at Pan in pure anger. Tears streamed from your cheeks and you felt a fire in you that you had never felt before. You were ready to kick the living daylights out of him but the look on his face stopped you. Pan looked shocked. His eyes were wide and he looked as if someone knocked the wind out of him. It was as if someone had flipped a switch inside of him. The moment before, he was an evil tyrant, but at this moment he looked nothing less than a scared little boy.
“I didn’t think it would hit him,” he whispered, staring at Nathan’s body in your arms without blinking, as if in a trance. Then Pan looked up to meet your gaze. You knew that look in his eyes, you had seen it on plenty of other people but never him. It was regret.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered so quietly you didn’t think you heard him correctly. The air around the camp seemed to stop flowing. Did he just apologize? The Lost Boys looked amongst themselves in a pure state of confusion and shock. Everyone knew one of Pan’s main rules was that Lost Boys Never Apologize.
“I’m so so sorry,” he repeated again and once again he surprised you, his eyes were filled to the brim with tears. You had never seen him even the slightest bit sad, let alone crying, but yet here he was standing in front of you and all of the Lost Boys with a single tear falling down his cheek.
You wanted to hold him, hug him, and tell him everything would be alright and that this wasn’t his fault. But it was. You shook your head, chiding yourself for the brief moment of affection you felt towards the monster. He did this, he killed your best friend. And for what? For his own amusement.
Standing up timidly, you tried to regain your composure. You couldn’t look Pan in the eye because you thought if you did, you’d rip his throat out. At least, that’s what you told yourself. But maybe it was also because if you saw that vulnerable look on his face again, you’d cave and run to him.
Before you could kill him or kiss him, you turned around and ran away from your problems. Away from your dead friend, away from the camp, and away from Pan.
#peter pan#peter pan imagine#imagine#robbie kay#robbie kay imagine#ouat#ouat imagine#once upon a time#peter pan one shot#peter pan fanfiction#robbie kay oneshot#neverland#oneshot#peter pan drabble#robbie kay drabble#peter pan ouat#peter pan ouat imagine#peter pan out drabble#peter pan out oneshot
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Professional Distance - II
Summary: Dean Winchester is an editor known for his critical eye and keen insight, finding himself a famed name in the world of romance novels. No matter the material that crosses his desk Dean has always been able to maintain his professional distance. Until Donna Hanscum. As if his crush on the effervescent blonde weren't incapacitating enough, now she's introduced a love interest to her latest novel that seems suspiciously like... him.
Author: (A)Human Female
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum
Warnings: Explicit material. General smuttiness.
Professional Distance
II
The next chapters came and went, offering him nothing new.
The writing was good. It was Donna, so it was always going to be. The story was progressing at a good pace, drawing the reader in and imploring them to worry for Chloe and Dan as they stomped around in the dark forest. He laughed when Chloe had put her foot down on starting her own fire and not needing Dan thank you very much, imagining Donna’s face of pure consternation as she screamed at a pile of branches that refused to light. Dan was happy to sit back and watch because the show was too good to miss.
They shared their first kiss against a massive aspen tree, surrounded by darkness. The stiff bark dug into Chloe’s back as she canted her hips up into Dan, his big hands mapping the contours of her waist. The moment progressed no further, interrupted by the wendigo taking a swipe at them faster than either of them could anticipate. After that it devolved into Dan demanding explanations and Chloe begrudgingly giving them.
Dean read that scene roughly a thousand times, imagining his own hands on Donna as she gasped and tightened her grip on the short hairs at the back of his neck. Not even a wendigo could have distracted him from her, he thought as he glanced over the chapter at his desk. Not a tornado or a nuclear blast could have pulled him away. Dan, this fictional version of himself, was clearly a lesser man than the real thing.
He imagined their real first kiss on the way home from work, gripping the buttery leather of his steering wheel as he drove.
Donna would wear that same candy pink lipstick that seemed to be her favorite, he mused at a red light. She would come rushing into his office like a rogue wind, breathless and smiling brighter than the sun. Dropping her purse into her usual spot in front of his desk, she wouldn’t notice him standing from his chair to walk to her. She’d look up in surprise, her dark eyes widening to find him so close. Those eyes would drift to his mouth involuntarily, her tongue coming out to lick that pink bottom lip so that it glistened in the sunlight from his windows. He’d move forward and take her lips like he owned them, surprising them both with the intensity of feeling as he knotted his fingers in her hair and tasted the sweetness of bubblegum on her tongue.
An angry honk sounded from behind him, knocking him out of his reverie and back to the present. He held a hand up in apology and sped forward, trying not to get pissed off at the minivan behind him as it veered to his left and sped past. The passenger may have even flipped him the bird. Distracted, mood headed south, he almost missed the chime from his phone in the seat next to him that signaled a new email. A few seconds later his text alert went off, drawing his attention.
Donna.
He flicked his screen open so fast he nearly sent his phone flying into the floorboard. Ignoring the email alert, he opened her text and scanned it.
Two new chapters, handsome! Let me know what you think. :)
Dean sent off a noncommittal thank-you message, going for nonchalant to downplay his impatience. He clicked on his email icon and sought out her message, finding at the top with the flag to mark an attachment. Her message was brief, saying hello and letting him know there were documents attached. The first was labeled with the number of the chapter, which was par for the course. The second was labeled with the chapter number and four letters that made his breath draw short.
NSFW.
Donna used the designation to alert him to explicit material. She found it funny as hell, considering that explicit material was literally his job. No one was going to be walking up behind him at work and judging him for what he was reading. Usually he’d grin a little and download it, adding to the queue requiring his attention. Now, only able to imagine what could be in it, he swallowed hard and gently put the phone back down.
His foot hit the gas.
He needed to get home - now .
-- X --
Dean ignored his neighbor’s attempt at small talk, shoved his key into the lock, and threw the door open with a crash. Someone watching might have been suspecting a mental illness at this point. He locked the door behind him and flicked on the lights, all too happy to toss his bag in the general direction of his couch and snatch his laptop up from the coffee table. He didn’t bother to grab himself a beer. Once in his bedroom he shucked his tie and jacket, his watch, and kicked off his shoes.
When he settled against his pillows he was in for the long haul.
The first chapter she’d sent gave him the details of the wendigo attack, complete with a bloody injury for Dan. Not one on any major organ, of course, but just enough to wing him and make him look like the rugged adventurer he’d turned out to be. Wendigos didn’t faze Dan, apparently. Nothing paranormal did. His mother was psychic, as it turned out, so he’d made peace with a lot of things at this point in his life.
The second chapter, however.
The second chapter awoke Chloe in the middle of the night, sensitive ears tuned in to the sounds outside their tent. She’d brought her own but felt it necessary to sleep in Dan’s tent that night. You know, with his injury and all. It was pitch black outside and silent save for the wind. Her lamp was spotty and fading, doing little other than illuminating their tent and maybe five feet in front of her. Once she’d assured herself that they were safe, she returned to the tent to find Dan’s eyes studying her in the dim light.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice rough from sleep.
“Yeah. Of course, obviously,” she said, shaking her head to ward off the last of the creepy-crawlies skittering over her skin.
“Funny. You don’t look it,” he commented, trying to prop himself up on his injured arm before wincing and sinking down again. She sat on her sleeping bag, crossing her legs under her.
“You’re one to talk, buddy.”
“I’m speaking from experience on this one,” he groused and for a moment she could see his Marine background in his set jaw and the harsh line of his shoulders. “Something out there I need to worry about?”
“In general? Yeah. Immediately? Doesn’t look like it.”
“Then come back to bed,” he said and neither of them missed the flash of something else that had been plaguing them since they met a few days ago.
“I bet you say that to all the girls who come here looking to fight monsters,” she quipped but her mouth had gone dry.
“Only one of those recently,” he admitted, “But I’d be willing to say it to that one every goddamn day.”
Her breath left her lungs in a whoosh. She tried to ignore the flare of heat between her thighs and the jump of her heart but it was impossible. Ignoring Dan Wesson had become impossible, even for someone who was reigning queen over Repressing Shit, Incorporated.
Dean paused. Had ignoring him become impossible?
“You don’t mean that,” she whispered, cursing her traitorous mouth for spouting off before she’d had a chance to think about it.
“The hell I don’t. Come here and I’ll show you.”
There it is, she told herself. An invitation on a silver plate.
She leaned forward, sweeping her lips over his gently enough that he grunted in frustration. He tried to reach out and pull her closer but his stitches pulled and he hissed in pain, gritting his teeth against it. Chloe huffed out a laugh.
“That’s a lot of tough talk for someone currently benched,” she joked, kissing him again.
He grunted. “Goddamn wendigo.”
“Don’t worry, honey,” she told him, pushing his shoulders gently until he was flat on his back again. She swung a leg over him and sat her generous ass down on the muscle of his thighs. “I got you.”
Dan opened his mouth in protest and she just had to shut him up with another kiss, taking those scrumptious lips mid-complaint. He tasted like heaven; the sweetness of his granola trail mix and the lingering bite of whiskey. Chloe swept her tongue against the seam of his lips, requesting access and getting it instantly as he opened his mouth to her. She felt his hands run over her shoulders and down her arms. One of his thumbs glanced the side of her breast and she sighed into his mouth.
Dean’s heart sped up as he read. He undid the top button of his shirt, inhaling deeply.
Chloe turned her attention from his full lips to his chiseled jaw and sculpted chin, humming excitedly as she kissed and nipped intermittently. Dan sighed and his chest worked under her like a bellows. Just when she thought she was playing a one-sided game she felt his hand creep under her flannel shirt, toying with the skin covering her ribs. Usually she was ticklish but when it was him lighting them nerves up like the Fourth of July the last thing she felt like doing was laughing.
“Getting handsy, are we?” she breathed against his neck as she followed the pounding pulse in his throat with the tip of her tongue.
She could hear the grin in his voice. “You gonna stop me?”
“Not a chance,” she answered, moaning as he tilted his hips up to meet hers. The hardness pressing against her for that fleeting moment was perfect, at least until Dan’s voice went from aroused to pained and her eyes jerked up.
“Sorry,” he answered, “Stitches.”
Chloe grimaced. “Sweet pea, I’m pretty sure that means we’re going to have to raincheck this.”
“Like hell. I’ve been wanting my hands on you since you walked into the station.”
“You’re aren’t the only one. But don’t worry, I’m not giving you up just yet.”
His eyebrows raised in question but she was already moving, her sensitive nipples dragging against him through her shirt as she slid down the length of his body. She tasted every inch of him she could get, sliding her hands up the front of his t-shirt and flicking her tongue against the dip of muscle at his hips. The salt of his skin was divine, and she could only imagine how much better he’d taste when she got where she was going.
Dean forced his eyes away from the laptop and looked at the ceiling, doing his best to calm himself. Or prolong the torture, he wasn’t sure. The images running through his mind were never something he would have let himself think about an author he worked with - not ever - but here he was, in this fantasy deep enough to feel Donna’s lips on his and the smell of her sweet perfume in his nose. He had stopped imagining Chloe as the the charming Oklahoman and had started hearing Donna’s Minnesota slant on all her character’s dialogue.
Groaning, Dean opened the fly of his slacks.
“Chloe, you don’t have to-”
“The hell I don’t,” she murmured back at him, using his own words to shut him up. He looked blissfully torn, the poor man. Trying to be the gentleman she knew him to be and struggling because blowjobs were hard to pass up. It would have been even harder if he’d known what her quick tongue was capable of, but he’d find out for himself in a minute.
Her nimble fingers danced along the waist of his sweats, feathering his skin with light touches that made his abs bunch and jump. She dipped her chin to lick him over the fabric that confined him, making his hips jerk up to meet her. The motion was immediately followed by a grunt of pain.
“Easy, sugar,” she told him with a wink, “Better let me handle this.”
He growled. An honest to God growl that shot straight to her clit and singed very nerve ending along the way. There was a chance her ears were smoking. Her imagination ran back to those sharpened canines in his mouth and she shivered. Next time, she promised herself. Provided they didn’t turn into wendigo chow before then.
In the end, Chloe wasn’t a patient woman. She may be brave, she may be friendly to a fault and incapable of saying no when someone was in need, but she sure as hell didn’t sit and hang around waiting for what she wanted. And what she wanted right now was the hardness beneath her chin resting its weight on her tongue. She wanted to watch Dan come apart at the seams as she sucked him down.
The waistband of his sweats gave way to her demanding hands and then she had him, the thickness of his cock nestled against the her palm. Dan drew in a ragged breath as she lightly kissed the crown, his earthy taste exploding into her senses like dynamite. She licked her lips and stretched her jaw, settling in. In a few minutes he’d be incapable of saying anything but her name.
“Oh, Jesus,” Dean moaned into the still air of his bedroom, his hand gliding up his shaft and twisting.
He wasn’t going to touch himself, he’d insisted internally as he’d moved the computer on his lap to sit next to him. But that was before he’d had the image of Donna on her knees in front of him, his dick in her hand and her lips taking him in. In Dan’s place he would fist his hand in the bright gold of her hair, stitches be damned. He could feel those locks between his fingers, could feel the warmth of her tongue on him.
Dean bucked into his hand, imagining he was bucking into Donna.
Chloe tasted him once or twice before going for the kill, accepting that plump head as it passed through her lips and over the top of her tongue. Dan did his level best to hold still but she could feel him fighting the urge to thrust into her; to fuck her mouth like she suspected he wanted to fuck her, had injuries not put him on the sidelines. She rewarded his restraint with a quick bob of her head, accepting his precum as it welled up to meet her questing tongue.
“God, Chloe,” he groaned, fisting his hands in the sleeping bag beneath him.
Normally she would have snarked something back at him but she was busy, laving and worshipping the flesh in her mouth with a fervor that might have worried her if she weren’t so far gone. Instead she hummed her approval, forcing herself down his length until that deliciously thick head caressed the back of her throat. She hummed some more to keep herself from gagging. Hummed a few Led Zeppelin songs, one Def Leppard classic, and her favorite Styx song before he felt him tightening beneath her. She reached up to roll his heavy sac between her fingers, smiling around him as it drew up closer to his body.
“Oh, God. Oh fuck.”
Dean blinked hard, tried to refocus.
The words just kept blurring as he jerked himself off, dragging his cock through his tightened fist and wrenching his hips up off the bed. The pressure built and built, threatening to consume him.
“Chloe,” Dan rasped, reaching down with his good arm to touch her shoulder. He was warning her, the sweet man. He didn’t know she intended to take everything he gave her and then some.
She took him in faster, bobbing her head and bringing up a hand to grip him in time with her mouth. Dan moaned, sounding like he was barely hanging on. Chloe took that as her cue to let him go. Sucking heavily, she pulled him to the back of her mouth and swallowed repeatedly. The muscles of her throat worked at that sensitive head of his until he had no choice but to come on her tongue. He cried her name into the night air, filling and then overflowing her mouth with the searing heat of his release.
“Fuck!”
Dean’s haggard voice rent the silence around him as he came, spurting thick ropes over his hand and onto his dark shirt. His hips rocked up uncontrollably, still believing it was Donna’s hot mouth on him rather than his own fist. He came until there was nothing left of him. No breath in his lungs and no thoughts in his head. There was only Donna’s face behind his eyes, her voice in his ears.
It took him several minutes to open his eyes again, the endorphin high wearing off as he realized that he’d turned Donna’s work into masturbatory material. The guilt sprang up then and he let his head fall back to the pillows, more than slightly disappointed to have come back to reality. Reality came with the knowledge that it was Chloe and Dan getting their fill of each other. Not him and Donna. Not really, even if he had been aroused to the point of pain with her voice in his head.
His eyes drifted back to the laptop and he realized there were some words left on the page. Words that he’d missed when he’d been coming his brains out.
Chloe sat up, swallowing him down and wiping her mouth on the arm of her shirt. She looked down at her handiwork, thrilling at the sight of his flushed face and rapid breathing. His cock was still twitching against his stomach. Dan’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling of the tent, blinking slowly. He looked like he’d just gotten blindsided by a Mack truck and damn if that didn’t fill her with a sweet sense of accomplishment that warmed her from the inside out.
If there was one thing she was sure of, she’d never get enough of Dean.
He jerked, his eyes going back to the last line over and over.
His name. Dean, not Dan.
Typo? Intentional?
Typo. Had to be a typo. It was one letter off, for Christ’s sake.
But she would have done at least a little of her own proofreading before sending it and it would have been an easy catch. Or maybe… maybe she wanted him to catch it. Maybe she wanted him to know that she’d written this chapter with him in mind, imagining like he had that she was the one sucking him off.
Fucking hell. He was right back where he started.
#dean winchester#donna hanscum#dean x donna#dean winchester au#editor!dean au#spn au fanfic#deonna#spn#writer!donna
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
howtobreakyourself
Depressed Rock People
shrikejays
ilya
hogenhouck
Untitled
superbgardenbasketballnerd-blog
Untitled