mihaaai question do we ever see watarus mask collection like. as a collection ever i cldve sworn we do but i cant find a cg for it so now im not sure if i made it up and i felt like i shld ask u

This is a very scary ask to receive when a few nights ago i had a half asleep/half awake dream/hallucination that did in fact show wataru's childhood room and in it his mask collection. The dream was too fragmented and unclear to really make out much but i did see the masks. Anyway this is the best card i can think of that fits your request

“School rivals” p.t 4

So I said this would be the last part but it’s taken a turn and there might be two more parts not sure yet. This one has more twists than a bloomin maze but I hope you enjoy !!!

“Wake up mortal ! I said awaken !” An angry, thunderous voice rung through your ears. Before you could even react to the voice a mind numbing sensation of pain started to spread through your right side. Bellroc had grown impatient with your sleeping stages and decided to jolt you awake - quite literally.

The fiery magic burnt your side, the pain setting your nerves alight figuratively and literally. You struggled onto your knees, coughing as you tried to stand up.

Blood had dried on your soccer jersey and around the wound on your head. Youd probably been locked away for two days, but you weren’t to sure. There was no way to tell trapped in the darkness of your prison. But what you did know was that the longer you left your wounds the worse they’re get. If they became infected from lack of treatment there’d be no saving you.

“I’m up you ugly bitch.” You spat at her, a little bit of blood mixed in with you saliva.

To be fair, spitting and swearing at an ancient magical deity probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but you certainly didn’t care anymore. The pain of your wounds, and distress about the entire situation, was causing you to lose a little bit of your sanity.

Magic was real; These creatures were as old as time; Your brother was the troll hunter, which you didn’t rally understand but it meant he was tangled up in this; There were trolls and two of them had been in your house; and Douxie was a wizard. This was about as much as you’d gathered over the last couple of days.

“How dare you ! You’ll regret that girl.” The creature that was the keeper of the flame, better known as Bellroc, cast another magic spell sending a wave of fire straight at you. You screamed this time, the fire burning everywhere. They’d said they were going to keep you alive but you weren’t so sure anymore.

“Bellroc stop. We need her alive.” Skrael interrupted her fun, watching as the troll hunter’s sister writhed in pain.

“Maybe but I have another plan for her.” Bellroc cackled, malice filling her voice.

For the first time ever, Skrael appeared worried at what the other member of the Arcane Order had planned. They needed you alive to ransom with the troll hunter but it appeared Bellroc had another idea. After al this time and so many failures, Skrael could tell she was slipping into insanity and becoming more and more dangerous. She was wild and unpredictable now.

“Mortal you will be my weapon ! This will be the final battle and you will be my champion !” The evil bitch approached you, hands grasping the metal bars that confined you in your prison. She cackled manically in a way that almost scared you. She was crazy.

“Over my dead body.” You spat before quickly pushing yourself off the floor and rushing to the bars, swinging your fist back and punching the ancient deity straight in the face.

Taken by surprise, Bellroc actually faltered a little, stumbling backwards as her mask cracked. You’d actually managed to hurt her. A mortal at that. Instead of reacting with anger and violence like you expected, she started to laugh in a way that chilled you to the bone.

“Yes ! You will be perfect my champion.” Bellroc cackled again, before swinging around and grabbing your face in one of her clawed hands, magic emitting form her hand.

Your entire body started to glow with a bright orange light, her magic starting to fight its way into your body. The pain was like nothing you’d felt before, it boiled your blood and singed your nerves, like you were being electrocuted. In that moment you wished for death, anything to make it stop.

“Bellroc..” Skrael watched on in horror at what he was seeing. She’s made this mistake so many years again with Morgana and Arthur and now she was doing it to you and the Trollhubter.

Your screams filled the cave, so loud that above you the group of your friends, who’d come to save you, could hear.

“What’s that ?” Toby asked hearing faint wails. The pain and fear that filled them chilled him to the core.

The others exchanged looks of horror, Douxie clutching his wizard staff tightly in fury.

“It’s (y/n). We must hurry !” Blinky said his calm voice wavering with worry as he heard master Jim’s sister scream in pain from below them.

They stood in the middle of a dense forest outside of Arcadia. Darkness swarmed the forests, sunlight unable to pass through the thick grove of trees. Not a single animal could be seen, not even the smallest bug. Nothing would enter this place and it wasn’t too surprising. It reeked of death. A giant chasm loomed below them. How deep it went they couldn’t tell but Blinky was sure you were being held down there.

“What is this place ?” Claire asked, her magic was behaving strangely. Even her shadow magic seemed insigincant in this place.

“This place is Mortis Forest fair Claire, this is a place of unspeakable danger. Terrible things happened here.” Blinky answered shivering as he thought of the monstrosities that occurred in this place.

The only reason why he knew was because of his wide reading. Most would never be allowed to know of this place’s existence. It had been erased from history and for good reason.

“The Magic here allows you to do unspeakable things.” Blinky continued, watching as Jim took hold of Daylight, swinging the sword in front of him.

“Even more reason to go now and find my sister.” Jim’s tone was dark, determination and something else that almost seemed like bloodlust filled his eyes.

Before anyone could respond, he jumped down into the chasm before them, the darkness swallowing him.

“Jim !” Claire screamed watching as her boyfriend disappeared below.

The others yelled after him, before eyeing the gaping chasm. Douxie rushed down after him, leaping into the chasm. He couldn’t wait any longer, you needed to be saved now. God knows what they’re were doing to you and it was his fault. He’s brought the arcane order here and he’d be dammed if he let them hurt you. In the back of his mind Douxie prayed those screams hadn’t been yours.

“Guys we should really think about this.” Toby mumbled. Of course he wanted to save you, he just hated heights.

“No time wingman.” With one swing of his arm, Arrgh picked Toby up and placed him on his back before jumping down after Douxie and him, Toby screaming at the sudden feeling of weightlessness.

“Come on Blinky.” Grabbing the trolls hand, Claire conjured a portal using her shadow staff and dragged the troll through before he could say anything.

Luckily for them the chasm wasn’t to deep and the whole group had managed to land safely on the chasm floor. It was pitch black in the murky depths of the cavern but a faint red glow could be seen coming from one end of the cavern.

All thinking the same thing they rushed towards the source of the red light, entering the cae system.

“Creepy.” Arrgh mumbled looking up at the skulls that lined the cave walls.

“You can say that again.” Toby whispered from on top of Arrgh, cowering a little at the sight of what he hoped wasn’t dried blood on the floor.

Jim and Douxie led the group, both furious that you’d been taken. To Jim this was a family matter, he’d failed to protect you and it could cost you your life. He could remember all the times you’d protected him. When your dad had left, you’d hugged him for hours telling him it would be okay and that it wasn’t your guys fault. When your mum worked late at the hospital you made sure he got to bed on time and had done his homework. At school if he was being bullied by Steve you’d put him in his place or get Señor Uhl off his back.

So many times you’d been there for him and yet this time when it’d really mattered he’d failed you. And all because of his own selfishness. He thought he was protecting you, but now he knew he was enjoying the fact that he had this thing that you didn’t. You were perfect, the perfect student, the soccer captain, spring fling queen. How could he compete ?

Much like Jim, Douxie felt like a failure. He’d failed at protecting you and felt like he was the reason the Arcane order had reappeared in Arcadia. Sure you riled him up, your stupid quips and sarcastic remarks made his blood boil and your immunity to his flirting also bothered him, but he cared about you. He didn’t want you to get hurt. He loved you. He’d said it in front of everyone and yet you didn’t even know. He couldnt lose you now without telling you.

They finally approached the source of the forboding red light, and found themselves at the entrance to a wide cavern. Two figures could be made out round the corner: Bellroc and Skrael.

“Okay so we need to follow the plan. Now mast-“ Blinky began to recall the plan they’d come up with until Jim, without wanting, rushed into the cavern, sword drawn and yelling furiously.

“So much for that.” Douxie mumbled before following after the troll hunter.

Jim rounded the corner, sword swinging at Bellroc who was taken by surprise. Daylight made contact against the top of her skull mask, cracking it in two.

“Ah troll hunter ! So nice to see you again.” Sliding back Bellroc smirked maliciously at the now panting troll hunter, who pointed his sword at her.

“Give me my sister back now ! And I might let you live !” He roared charging again to go in for another attack, sword pointed to drive through Bellroc’s heart.

Behind him, Douxie had begun to engage in a fight with Skrael with the assistance of Claire.

“Where is she ?” Douxie roared, sending a magical blast straight at him, which Skrael just dodged but unfortunately was truck by Claire’s shadow staff, who’d appeared behind him.

“Give us (y/n) !” Claire yelled, swinging her staff down, aiming for Skrael’s head.

Struggling between dodging Douxie’s spells and Claire’s staff, Skrael started to feel threatened. The two sorcerers had grown much stronger since their last battle. He could feel himself becoming desperate.

Bellroc wasn’t doing much better as she faced off against Jim, Toby and Arrgh who combined were beginning to overpower her. Their anger over (y/n) being taken also helped fuel them and at this rate the pair would be defeated.

“Bellroc now !” Skrael yelled before Douxie landed a hit straight on him, sending the god of the north wind straight back into the wall. Claire high fived her teacher, who looked satisfied at seeing one of your captors knocked out for the count.

Seeing Skrael hit the wall and knocked out, Bellroc could see their window of opportunity closing. Rasing one hand into the air, the warm glow of red coloured magic left her hand. The cave began to tremble, the floor starting to shake as if an earthquake was happening.

Startled the others struggled to stay upright, looking around each other in shock and fear.

“Rise my champion !” Bellroc screeched cackling manically as a figure began to emerged from the darkness of the end of the cavern.

A woman sauntered into the cavern, clad in a suit of ruby red amour, a domino mask covering her face, highlighting the malice in her (e/c) eyes. In one hand she held a bow, a quiver slung over the other shoulder.

For a second the group stood their stunned, until a small gasp left Jim’s lips.

“(Y/n)...” his words caused the others to also let out gasps, Douxie dropping his staff in shock as he realised that it was you under the mask.

‘What have they done to you ?..’ he thought in anguish at the sight of his rival and love in strange armour, armed with a weapon.

“Champion kill them all !” With the group frozen in shock, Bellroc saw an opportunity to strike and finish the deed: Kill the troll hunter and all the other pests there, whilst also gaining a new champion. It was brilliant.

“As you wish.” Words mixed with bloodlust, you strung an arrow through your bow, aiming right at your brother’s head before pulling the bowstring back and releasing the arrow. With a worried glance Claire realised Jim was frozen still.

“Jim !” She screamed trying to get his attention. Sadly it didn’t work and seeing this Arrgh quickly dove forwards, taking the hit. The arrow pierced his back as he protected Jim who’d finally come to his senses.

“Master Jim !” Arrgh let out a pained yell, the arrow wound radiating with some strange magic.

“That’s no ordinary arrow.” You smirked as you started to float up into the air, a red glow surrounding you.

“By Merlín.” Douxie whispered in shock as he watched you perform magic.

Arrgh let out a cry of pain before collapsing, knocked out from the sleep spell you’d cast on your arrow tips.

“No Arghh !!” Toby yelled out in distress as he ran to his wingman, reaching the dormant troll’s side.

“Arghh !” Blinky ran to his friends side, watching in horror as the troll wouldn’t respond.

Toby glanced up at your looming form, the red aura surrounding you as you hovered above them adding to your menacing appearance. This person in front of Toby didn’t look like the girl who’d bandaged his knees when he fell over or played on his game console with him when nobody else would. Whoeve this was in front of them it wasn’t the real you.

“Oh I’m sorry. I was aiming for you brother, he shouldn’t have gotten in the way.” You cackled evilly, flying towards them.

“You aren’t my sister. (Y/n) would never do this ! Give her back to us !” Jim roared, swinging his sword at the flying sorceress.

“Oh but younger brother I am (y/n). I’m right here. And look at all of this power I have now.” As if to show off you conjured up a magical balls of red energy before sending it straight at Claire, who wasn’t paying attention, and as a result was sent flying into one of the cave walls.

Her small body collapsed as if she was a rag doll. A scream of anguish tore from Jim’s lips as he stared in horror, before turning onto his newly transformed sister.

“You need to stop this (y/n) ! You’re hurting your friends ! Your family ! The people closest to you.” Trying not to cry Jim yelled at you, terrified that his sister was gone now, and also terrified for his friends lives.

This was unlike any situation he’d ever encountered. For the first time ever the enemy wasn’t some troll or goblin or an evil sorcerer, it was his sister. What would he do ? If he fought you, you might be seriously hurt or even worse killed, yet if he didn’t fight you then he risked the lives of his friends. He didn’t know what to do.

“Friends and family you say. Well where were my friends and family when I was being tortured to death down here ? Donyou know what they did to me ?” You removed the domino mask, letting it fall to the floor.

A large scar covered the left side of your face, the markings like the one Agnor Rok had once placed on Jim. Yet they looked a lot tougher as if they’d been cut into your face. The breath left Jim’s chest as he stared at you properly now.

He could see dried blood in your hair and cuts littering the palms of your hands. He was sure there were more wounds covering your body that they were just unable to see because of the armour.

Before he could respond, Douxie let out a roar of anger next to him and charged at Bellroc, chanting an incantation as he sent a bolt of blue magic straight at her. Just as it was about to hit her, you soared down and blocked it was a red glowing shield of magic.

“Nice try but you’re just an amateur compared to me punk rock boy.” You jeered, summoning two balls of glowing red energy in your hands.

“Blinky, Toby get everyone out of here now !” Douxie yelled, his eyes wide with fear as he started to realise show powerful you were. Whatever magical spell Bellroc had placed you under it wasn’t working alone.

Douxie guesses it was some type of mind control and magic enhancement. But it would only work if you were already a magical being. Yet he’d never sensed anything magical about you. It must’ve been buried deep within you. Bellroc had managed to unleash it and without any training, and the influence of dark magic, you were uncontrollable. You might be powerful, but without the proper training you’ were at risk of letting yourself be consumed by it.

“No we won’t leave you !” Toby yelled back, only for Jim to turn on him, his face more serious than his best friend had ever seen it.

“Go now tobes !” Jim’s order was enough for Blinky and Toby to struggle pulling Arrgh through one of Claire’s shadow portals. Blinky gave Jim one nod, a sad smile on his lips as he watched the young boy he cared for so much about to fight his toughest battle.

“Goodbye master Jim.” Blinky whispered as they disappeared into the darkness.

“Retreating I see ? Cowardly even for you Casperan.” You cackled, combining both of the magical orbs of energy in your palms together, sending the magical blast straight at the wizard.

In retaliation, Douxie sent his own bolt of blue magical energy from his wizards staff. The two collided with each other, becoming a purple crackling mass of magical energy. Bloodlust filled your eyes as you pushed further, trying to overpower Douxie who wasn’t going to back down.

Out of the corner of his eye, Douxie noticed that Bellroc was trying to make an escape, backing away from them. And it looked like she was actually injured as her right arms was bleeding. Realisation dawned on Douxie. Bellroc was vulnerable right now, she must’ve used lots of magical energy to turn you into this monstrous killer.

“Jim ! Bellroc ! She’s vulnerable !” Douxie yelled to the trollhubter, who was standing still next to him, completely lost in what he imagined were some very conflicting thoughts.

Douxie’s yelling, though, brought him back to real life and the trollhunter lunged after the goddess, managing to land a second strike on her.

“Aww Casperan wont you pay attention to me ?You love to flirt with girls so why don’t you try it with me !” You screamed cackling with glee, as Douxie faltered and was sent spiralling back against one of the cave walls.

Like predator to prey, you advanced on him hands crackling with two fiery red orbs of energy.

With one hand you cupped his chin, bringing his face close to yours. The wizard was blinking lazily, head foggy with the hard impact of the stone wall. He could just about register your sinister smile and empty (e/c) eyes. You were like a complete stranger.

“You know Casperan if you weren’t such an awful flirt I might’ve considered dating you. You have such a nice face. It’s a shame I’m going to have to ruin it.” You swung a hand down, claw like nails ready to tear him to pieces when Douxie’s hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, blocking your attack.

Before you could react, he swung his other hand back and punched you right in the face. Under normal circumstances Douxie would never hit a girl, certainly not one he liked, but these were abnormal circumstances. With the force of the impact you stumbled back, giving him enough time to reach for his wizards staff and lunge at you, pushing you straight down to the floor.

Full body weight and staff pressed down against you, you were unable to move growling in frustration at your predicament.

“(Y/n), love, you need to snap out of this. This isn’t you.” Douxie said, voice full of despair on as he stared into your eyes looking for a glimpse of the girl he used to know.

For a second your eyes softened, face morphing into something recognisable as you, but it shattered just as quickly. A malicious smirk crossed your features as you looked up at the wizard enjoying how miserable he looked.

“And how would you know me Casperan ? We aren’t friends. I mean we don’t even like each other. I hate you.” You spat, bloodlust clouding your eyes as you wriggled below him.

Hurt flooded Douxie at that, but he knew he had to push it aside if he had any hope of pulling back the real you.

“We might not have been friends love but I know you. You have the dorkiest victory dance that you do after you win a soccer match. You don’t want anyone to know but you secretly want to move as far away from here as possible, that you don’t like Arcadia as much as you make out to because your afraid of hurting peoples feelings. “ he said, and with each word you began to falter more and more. Those once hard and sinister eyes, softened and he could see the old (y/n) peeking through, like he was scratching away at layers.

Inside your mind a mental war was being waged. One part of you, the new evil magical side that had been borne of pain and misery wanted destruction and hurt, whilst the other side, the one that had always been you wanted to help your friend and family. Both were warriors but with agendas.

“And love you got something completely wrong there. I don’t hate you. It’s quite the opposite actually.” Douxie held your gaze for a moment watching as the old (Y/n) began to return. You stared up at him, anticipating what was to come next.

“I love you (Y/n).”

A gasp left your lips as his words settled in your mind, Douxie watching you anxiously for a reaction. On one level he’d just told his arch nemesis that he loved her, and then on another it could determine life and death.

His words were enough to tip the scales in your favor and the dark side of you cried out as you overpowered it, combining into a brand new version of yourself. This time you weren’t under the influence of Bellroc and your darkest side. This time your magic was yours, the pain would heal and turn to scars with time. You were you again.

And you knew what you had to do. With a big shove you pushed Douxie off of you, the wizard falling on his back in surprise. He could tell something had changed. From the way you smirked, to the way you held yourself he could see it was you again.

“It’s good to be back Casperan. I know I should say thank you but it’s kinda your fault I’m in this mess.” You chuckled teasingly, cracking your knuckles as you stared angrily at Bellroc who had your brother pinned to the ground.

“(Y/n)...” Douxie gasped watching as you summoned your bow and arrow to your side, taking aim at the goddess.

“Watch and learn.” You said a little arrogantly as the arrow hit the monster dead on, who in turn let out a high pitches shriek.

“‘My champion ! You’ll pay for that !” She screamed, pulling the arrow out of her chest and snapping it in half in rage.

A laugh left your lips as you advanced on her, hovering just above the floor.

“I’m not your champion ! And the only one who will pay here is you !” You screamed, magic radiating from you.

Bringing your hands together, you manifested a large amount of red energy and sent it straight at her. Having lost the element of surprise, Bellroc easily deflected it.

“That’s child’s play. You’ve barely had your powers for an hour. I’ll kill you slow and painfully.” She cried cackling manically as she lunges for you.

The two of you engaged in a battle, flying around each other, deflecting and sending attacks. Even though your powers were new, you were managing to hold your own so well that you were at a stalemate. Bellroc was still weak from the magic that it took to turn you into that magical killer, and you knew this might be your only chance to kill her.

‘I need an edge. We’re at a stalemate.’ You mumbled to yourself, peering round the cave as you dodged one of her attacks.

Douxie and Jim were injured and barely able to fight so you knew they couldn’t give sufficient aid to win this. An epiphany struck you, as you glanced up at the ceiling of the cave, and saw multiple sharp stalactites hanging there.

You knew your plan was risky, and there was a good chance you would di, but if it killed Bellroc and Skrael once and for all then it was worth it. You didn’t quite know what sort of astrocities they’d committed but not only had they tortured you, turned you against your friends, but they’d also hurt the people you cared about most.

“Jim ! Douxie ! Get out of here now !” You screamed at them, launching another arrow at Bellroc who was starting to regain her strength.

The pair exchanged worried glances, neither of them wanting to leave you. Jim couldn’t stand to lose his big sister, his dad was already gone he couldn’t lose another family member. And Douxie has just told you he loved you, you hadn’t even begun to start that journey together.....but then he’d once before been in the situation you’d been in. He knew what to do.

Regretting it already and full of remorse Douxie grabbed Jim, roughly pulling him towards the exit of the cavern. Screaming and struggling, Jim tried to pull away from Douxie, but the wizard was biologically a few years older and so a bit stronger plus he wasn’t as badly injured as Jim.

“(Y/n) ! No ! Please I can’t lose you to !” Jim cried, tears starting to stream down his face as he watched you turn to face him with a remorseful smile.

“I’m sorry Jim. Tell mum I love her okay. And know you’ll never be alone. I’ll always be here for you.” You cried out to your brother, a few of your own tears streaming down your face.

Safe outside of the cavern, Douxie watched as you launched three beams of magic up at the ceiling, the stalacites cominf lose and collapsing on top of you, Skrael and Bellroc. Just as the three of you were about to be engulfed by the masses of rock he saw your lips move.

“I love you too.”

And with that a thunderous rumble filled the cave as the stalactites smashed to bits on the ground.

Ringing filled Douxies ears as he stared, frozen as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.

“No ! (Y/n) ! Please !” Jim cried, rushing forwards and trying to pull pieces of the smashed rocks out from the car, trying to tunnel his way in. Sobs could be heard coming from him, as he made futile attempts at rescuing you.

“Jim, she’s gone. I’m sorry.” Douxie placed a comforting had on Jim’s shoulder, gently pulling him away from the cave entrance.

“No !” Jim yelled before collapsing to his knees, smashing his fists against the ground.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save you love....’ Douxie knelt next to Jim and brought the devastated troll hunter into a hug, the pair of them crying quietly as they mourned the loss of a person they loved.

————————

“What do we have here ? Sorceress (y/n) Lake, sister of my troll hunter Jim Lake and apparently my Douxie’s girlfriend.” A voice rang out, awakening you with a start.

A cry left your lips as you shot upright from your lying position, a heavy breath leaving your lips.

“Where am I ? I thought I was dead...” you mumbled, hands fumbling over your body as you tried to feel for an injury. Even the once dried blood that had stained your hair and clothes was gone.

“You aren’t dead. Yet. I am Merlín child, the greatest sorcerer to ever live. And I need your help.”

Birthday Kisses || Ochako Uraraka

Ochako Uraraka x Fem! Reader

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 4745

Synopsis: Your birthday has arrived and Uraraka has a sweet surprise for you on your special day.

This is for the @bnhabookclub bingo event!

Prompt: Suprise Birthday Party

Bingo Masterlist

Taglist (DM me to be apart): @shoutodoki @shoutosplaything @lady-bakuhoe @stupidbuttwaifu @sugacookiies @kingtamakimurder

Once again this is for my girl Tima except... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @saltie !!! I KNOW TODAY ISNT YOUR BIRTHDAY BUT I COULDNT WAIT ANY LONGER!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND EVEN THOUGH WE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LITTLE TIME I TRUST YOU SO SO MUCH, HAVE AN AMAZING DAY WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY ARRIVES BB💘💘

Uraraka was fond of birthdays. Whether it was her own or someone else’s. She always wanted to know the details about it. She had a bad case of ruining surprises, but she promised Mina that she would stay quiet since she did ruin the surprise when it was Denki’s birthday.

You were ecstatic about your birthday. Your birthday was something that you always loved to celebrate with people. This one however was more special because you had your now girlfriend with you, Ochako Uraraka.

Both of you have been dating for a little over a year. You remembered being the stuttering mess as you handed her flowers as you concentrated on asking her on a date. Panicked at your outburst it led to her crying, leading up to your nervous breakdown, which she comforted you right after. Needless to say, a beautiful relationship blossomed.

Uraraka slowly opened your door, peeking her head through the open slit as her eyes focused on the lump of your body on your bed, covered in blankets. At the sight of you, her mouth tugged in a smile as she fully opened the door to let her body in, making her way towards the curtains.

“Up up Y/N!” She cheered and swung them open, the shining light of the sun immediately hitting your face. Your whine resonated throughout the room as you buried your face in your pillow, nuzzling into it. “No..”

“No?! Why not?!”

“Early..” you mumbled and felt yourself drift back into your deep slumber that she awakened you from.

“Eh?!” She pouted and walked over to your bed, letting herself sit beside your curled up body in the cocoon of blankets. “But Y/N it’s your birthday!” She said, hopefully, it would snap you out of your daze.

You froze before shifting your body, turning your back to face her. “Early.”

A groan left her lips as she came behind you, placing her hands on your side as she started shaking you. “Why am I more excited than you?! Come on baby get up!!” She dragged her words in a whine as she felt you squirm underneath her until you finally looked up to face her.

“Because you weren’t up late last night” you yawned, a hand covering your mouth. You stretched your legs and let out a groan, feeling the sleep wash away from you. “What time is it anyway?”

“It’s about 10 AM.”

Oh. Guess it wasn’t early as you thought it was.

“Fine fine” you grumble as you sat up, her body moving to allow her to sit on her knees. A hand came and cradled your cheek as her lips kissed the tip of your nose. “I’ll be downstairs waiting for you okay?”

“But you just came here and now I don’t want you to leave me Ocha” you quickly wrapped your arms around her, bringing the brunette close to your body as she let out a surprised squeak at your motions.

She quickly shook herself out of her shock as she copied your motion, wrapping her arms around your body, her head resting on top of yours that was on her chest.

It was a peaceful silence between the two of you. It was never awkward. As you had your head on her chest, you were listening to the beat of her heart. It put on a smile on your face knowing she was here with you, in the now.

One of her fingers dragged themselves on the bare skin of your lower back, her pads rubbing small circles.

“I feel like I can fall asleep again…” you whispered against her clothing, your eyes getting heavier by the second.

“No!” She suddenly pushed you off and stood up quickly. “You get up and get ready while I’ll be downstairs okay?”

A pout formed at your lips as you nodded. “Fine. I’ll get up in a bit”

A goofy smile appeared on her face as she made her way to the door. “Don’t take long... Even though you will!” She teased and slipped out, shutting the door behind her.

After watching her leave, a happy sigh escaped your lips as you fell back against the bed, arms lifted in the air with raised fists. “Eighteen..” you whispered to yourself. A grin broke out on your face as you let out a squeal of happiness, immediately jumping out of bed and rushing over to your drawer to get yourself some clothes.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You walked down the stairs into the common room where the rest of class 3-A was at.

“Y/N Happy Birthday babe!!” Mina yelled out in excitement as she threw herself at you, immediately latching onto you. “You’re so old now!! Welcome to the club!”

A laugh left your lips as you shook your head, squeezing the girl back in a hug. “Thank you, Mina! Happy to be an old lady beside you now!”

“Hey, you can’t just hog her up for yourself Mina!” A pouty Denki said from behind her, his arms crossed over his chest as he tapped his foot against the ground impatiently. “We want to give her hugs too!”

Mina let out a dramatic sigh as she pulled away from you. “Don’t mess her up you got that?”

“How can I when you already did?! Come here!” He grabbed you by your wrist and brought you to his chest, lifting you off the ground in a warm welcoming hug. “Happy Birthday Y/N! How do you feel?!”

“The same as yesterday!” You placed your hands on his shoulders for stability. “Maybe a bit better today!”

“Now that’s what I like to hear!”

“Not very manly to hold another person’s girl like that Kaminari!”

“Oh please!” He brushed it off with an eye roll and turned to Ochako, you still in his arms. “You don’t mind me holding her like this right?!”

“I don’t because I know she wouldn’t like someone like you,” she replied, a smile on her lips.

He gasped in feigned hurt, putting you back down on the floor as he placed a hand on his chest in an offended way. “What’s that supposed to mean?! Any girl wants me!”

“Then where’s your fucking girlfriend hah?! I don’t see one!!” Bakugo yelled from the table, his forefinger pointing in accusation.

“I don’t remember seeing you with one either!! You’re too scary for girls!!”

“What did you say?! Did you lose your brain already or are you just that stupid?! I’ll kill you!!”

“Kaminari! Bakugo! No yelling at this hour! It will awaken everyone else here!”

Everyone was already in the room but let Iida talk on.

An invisible hand wrapped around your wrist as you got tugged away, stumbling as you had no chance but to follow. “H-Hey!”

“Happy Birthday! We made you breakfast! Now sit down and eat!!”

“Happy Birthday Y/N-Chan,” Asui said from across the table beside Jirou and Momo.

You were pushed into a chair rather abruptly as you stared down at the plate filled with your favorite things for breakfast. “No way!!” You gasped and looked up excitedly at your friends. “You did this for me?!”

“Course we did Y/N-San!” Momo’s eyes glimmered in glee, hands locked together, and brought up to the side of her face. “It was Ochako’s idea and we wanted to help!”

As on cue, the brunette made her way over and placed her hands on your shoulders from behind, leaning over and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek. “Eat up Y/N. You wouldn’t want it to go bad would you?”

Your neck heated up as it reached the front of your face to the tips of your ears. “N-No. Thank you, guys. Thank you Ochako” you whispered the last part and kissed her softly, placing a hand on the swell of her cheek. She immediately kissed back and deepened it, her hand bringing your head closer.

“Woah woah!” Jirou shook her head as her hands waved in front of her in attempts to stop you both. “We get you guys are in love but let the birthday girl eat! Get a room later but not now!”

Ochako pulled away, a small smirk at the corner of her lips at the sight of your disheveled face, panting softly as she fully stood up.

“Sorry guys!” She said sweetly and clapped her hands together. “Can’t help it sometimes! Can you blame a girl?”

“Yes, we can pink cheeks!!”

“Can it Bakubro!! It’s super manly in my opinion! But for girls!” Kirishima yelled and shook his head in disapproval at Bakugo’s words. “It’s amazing! You just can’t see it. Don’t let him get you down Uraraka!” He said in reassurance, sending a peace sign her way as she sent him on back.

“So Y/N” Todoroki started as he leaned against the wall, watching you eat your breakfast. “What did you want to do today?”

You looked up at him and swallowed, wiping your mouth with a napkin. “I’m not sure yet. Ochako said she wanted to go out and do some things then come back. She didn’t tell me what though”

He nodded, shoving his hands into his front pockets as his posture had a slight hunch. “I’m sure whatever she has in store will be fun.”

You smiled faintly and nodded. “Yeah me too.”

Before he could open his mouth Mineta let out a sob. “Why can’t I?! Come on let me touch them!!”

“Mineta chill dude! You aren’t touching Y/N!”

“Why?! She’s a total babe! Just once! I can say I touched a hot lady!!”

“You are so gross, man!” Sero gagged and taped Mineta’s mouth shut. The purple balled boy screamed into the tape as he tried his best to take it off.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

“You guys got it right?” Ochako whispered lowly to Deku as she eyed you by the door, watching you put your shoes on. “We shouldn’t be back for maybe another 6 hours or so. You guys can get it done in time?”

Deku nodded and clenched his fist in determination. “We do! You can count on us! Just make sure if you end early to just keep her occupied!”

Ochako nodded in agreement as she grabbed her bag, putting her arms through the straps. She fixed the sleeves of her white t-shirt and flattened out her plaid skirt. “Alright then. I trust you guys, don’t mess it up! Or else!”

“Or else what?” Deku asked but immediately regretted, tensing up at the glare she sent his way. “There will be no what else” she said then smiled, rubbing the back of her head. “Anyway, we gotta get going!”

She made her over to you, fixing the straps of her backpack. “All ready to go?”

You nodded in enthusiasm.

You were wearing a denim overall dress with an off the shoulder white long sleeve underneath. A simple outfit that had Ochako swooning for you.

“Let’s go! What do we have planned for today!”

Ochako let out a small breath and shrugged, a playful smile on her lips. “I don’t have anything! We’ll just see where fate takes us!”

“Eh?! Thought you had things planned for us!”

“Only way you would get up! We’ll be back!” She pushed you out the door quickly, turning around as she faced the rest of your class. “Don’t mess up! I’m counting on you guys!”

“Go go shoo!” Mina waved her off with both hands. “You got me and the rest of us! We know what our girl likes!”

“Good! Bye!” Ochako’s head disappeared from behind the door as it slammed shut.

A sigh of relief fell from Mina’s lips as she turned a full three-sixty to face everyone. “We probably have at least 5 hours or more! That gives us enough time to get everything done if we don’t slack off!” She said, a tone of authority evident in her voice.

“Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima are on decoration duty! The girls will be focusing on the food except for Jirou and Asui!! We don’t trust you guys with the stove plus if there’s a fire Momo can make fire extinguishers! Oijirou, Sato, Tokoyami along with Jirou and Asui, you guys will be buying her the gifts! We all pitched in so it should be enough for more than one present!” She yelled, hands on her hips.

“Bakugo, Deku, Todoroki, and Iida will be for the drinks! Along with watch duty!”

“Hah?! I got paired with icy-hot?!”

“And Mineta!” She ignored Bakugo and stared down at the little pervert who stared up at her with the utmost glee displayed in his eyes. She cringed and backed up. “Don’t get in the way and help. Let’s get started, people!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You and Ochako walked down the busy streets of Musutafu, swinging your conjoined hands. You expected Ochako to have a plan for the both of you, considering she was the one who always came up with places you guys should go.

“So..” you spoke up and looked over at her. “You have nothing planned?”

She swiftly shook her head and turned a corner, a fountain coming into view with benches surrounding it. “Nope! This is just an adventure without a plan. We’re gonna do what you want even though you might not know yourself. But first, let me get some photos of you.”

“M-me?!” you gasped, your cheeks a darker tone than your natural pigment. “Why?!”

“To celebrate and keep these photos for memory.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and sat you down in front of the fountain. “Now just sit there and be your pretty self.” You twiddled your fingers as you lowered your head in embarrassment. “I-in the middle of the city?! Can’t this wait Ocha?”

“Now is the best time Y/N. This is a big destination for photos.”

She was right. It was smack dab in the middle of the city, benches, and trees surrounding the area to give it a delicate but beautiful background, plus the stores brought out the busy view. Perfect for a photoshoot in her eyes.

“How many photos then?”

She thought about it then shrugged. “As many as I want. Plus I’m going to ask someone random to take a couple of both of us.”

Oh, she was going all out for it.

You nodded and fixed your hair, and posed however she wanted you.

A small smile appeared on her face as she snapped yet another photo of you. No other girl could compare to you in her eyes. In her eyes, you were the only girl that mattered to her. She would do anything for you and would do anything to protect you from any harm. As she held up a finger indicating that she was looking, she swiped through each photo, her love for you growing stronger at the sight of your smile that was meant for her eyes only.

“Beautiful as always huh Y/N?!” She laughed and approached a young couple. “Do you think you could take a picture or two of us?” she motioned to you sitting by yourself on the bench as you played with the pocket of your overall.

The girl smiled and nodded excitedly. “I would love too!” she followed Uraraka and took the given phone to her as Ochako sat beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, squeezing the bare skin.

You shivered at the skin on skin contact and ignored the goosebumps that formed. “Plus this will make a great home screen! Don’t you think Y/N-Chan?”

You meekly nodded and looked up before the photos started to be taken.

After a couple of poses which consisted of squishing your face against Ochako’s, her placing a kiss on your cheek and vice versa, and a final one of the both of you sharing a sweet kiss.

“Thanks again!” Ochako waved at the couple in which the girl returned the wave before walking off with her boyfriend.

“Do they look good?” You asked and peeked over her shoulder to look at her phone. “Course they look good! You’re in them after all!”

You fumbled over your words as you scratched the back of your head, cheeks flaring up. “Y-yeah well so are you!”

“Aww Y/N you’re so cute!” She laughed and placed a quick kiss on your cheek before grabbing your hand. “Are you getting thirsty?”

“Mm… yeah a little bit but not to ba-“

She let out a noise that stopped you from finishing and nodded her head, pointing in the direction of a bakery. “Then let’s go! I’m sure they have your favorite!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You quietly sipped on your strawberry milk as you watched Ochako speak on the phone with whoever it was.

“Is it going fine then?” She whispered, placing a hand over the phone so you wouldn’t hear who was on the other end.

“Yes! At least I’d say so! I sent Todoroki, Bakugo, Deku, and Iida to get drinks! They’ve been gone for quite some time so I’m hoping they didn’t kill each other just yet!” Mina said on the other line.

In the background, you could hear Momo’s yelling at Sero and Kaminari for popping balloons with Sero’s tape. “Now is not the time to mess around!!”

Mina let out a nervous chuckle as she rubbed the back of her neck. “Don’t worry everything is fine! Do you guys plan on going to the mall by any chance?”

“Uh-huh. I told Y/N we could buy her some new clothes.”

“Uh oh ..”

Ochako narrowed her eyes as she began to pace back and forth. “What do you mean uh oh? What’s the uh oh?”

“Well, you see I sent Jirou, Asui, Oijirou, Sato, and Tokoyami to go buy her gifts at the mall… so there is a high chance you’ll possibly bump into them”

“For real?”

“Yes for real”

Ochako let out a frustrated groan and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I already told Y/N we’re going. Can you at least give them a heads up that we’re gonna be there too?”

“Yeah of course! Plus you can always hide in the girls bathroom and maybe make out!”

Ochako’s pink cheeks darkened as she kicked at the cement. “Don’t say things like that! Just let them know okay?!”

Mina let out a cheeky laugh. “Yup! Bye!”

Ochako hung up and held the phone to her cheek letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Just avoiding people is easy right..yeah totally easy” she mumbled and put her phone in her bag.

“Ocha? Is something wrong?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowed as you stood up.

“Yeah, everything is okay. Did you still want to go to the mall?”

You nodded excitedly. “I do! Unless you wanted to do something else?”

“No, we’re going to the mall. And we’re taking the train that is leaving soon so we best make a move on” she reached for your hand and immediately began to drag you in the direction of the train which you hopelessly followed her.

Eventually, the both of you were cramped up in the train, her body pushed up against yours from behind. Her hands placed themselves on her hips as your head laid against her collarbone.

The soft light of the afternoon sun beamed on the both of you, flooding on your skin in a soft yellow haze. Her hand made its way up the supple skin of your arm until she reached your collarbone, tracing it with her fingernail. “I almost didn’t see you wearing this” she spoke quietly, a rose gold chain resting in between her fingers that had an open locket.

“Course I did. You gave it to me and I adore it” a smile made its way to your lips as her chin rested on your shoulder. “I think it looks beautiful on you, after all, I do have a beautiful girlfriend.”

You hummed in acknowledgment and leaned over, giving her a gentle kiss.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

“Okay balloons check! The cake is good! Drinks are all here! You got her presents! Oh by the way did you see them?! Oh well who cares, it doesn't matter!” Mina yelled at the top of her lungs, checking off everything to make sure it was ready.

It was at about 6 PM. You and Ochako left at 10:30 so you were bound to show up at any minute.

“Alright Sero you’re in charge of turning the light off!”

Sero stared at the pink-haired girl and scratched the back of his head, the other hand lifting in a questioning manner. “Does it matter who does it? It’s as long as it’s dark right?”

“I don’t care! You do it and that’s it! This is Y/N we’re talking about!”

She glanced over by the window where Midoryia and Iida stood, staring at the arrival of both of you.

“Anything yet Midoryia?”

He shook his head quickly. “No sign of them yet! Uraraka messaged me no longer than 5 minutes that they’re almost he- HERE!” He yelled and pointed at the door. “They’re coming up now!!”

Her eyes widened as everyone scrambled to their designated places— which was just to hide.

“Sero get th-“

“I know!” The black-haired boy yelled interrupting her mid-sentence and turned the lights off, leaving everyone in pitch-black darkness.

“Ow! Who is there?! I’ll kill you!!” Bakugo yelled, small explosions forming in the palm of his hands.

“That’s dangerous!” Kaminari yelled and backed away from Bakugo, bumping into another body in the process.

“Shut up!!” Mina yelled and pressed her ear against the door. “I can hear them! Okay, everyone be quiet!”

Bakugo opened his mouth to retort something but got tape slapped across his face again. His screams came out muffled.

“I really can’t thank you enough Ocha! I had an amazing time with you today” you said, your hand wrapped around her bicep as your head was resting against her shoulder.

She kissed the crown of your head as you guys approached the doors to 3-A Dorms. “It’s even better when it’s just the two of us” you added on.

“Yeah? I’m glad. I had fun with you too. Hopefully, we can have more dates like this again in the future!” Her hand reached out and bit her lip.

‘Please tell me it’s ready’ she thought, having a mental panic.

“Babe? The door? What’s wrong is it locked?” You stepped closer and placed your hand on top of hers.

“N-no!” She yelled, startling you in the process. “It’s not locked see?!” She twisted the knob that allowed the door to open slightly. “It’s open! Haha, let's go in! Yeah!” She said quickly and swung the door open, grabbing you by your wrist and quickly covered your eyes with her hands.

“H-Hey I can’t see now! Take your hands off!”

Both of you shuffled inside the pitch-black room as both of you stood with what seemed like the middle of the room. The pressure of her hands relieved, her head lowering and you could feel the small puffs of hot air near your ear.

“Happy Birthday Y/N”

The lights suddenly flickered on as your classmates jumped out of their hiding spots, all popping the party poppers and canned streamers.

“SURPRISE!!”

Your eyes widened as you took a step back, placing a hand on your chest. “Y-you guys did this for me?!”

“We did! Are you surprised?!” Hagakure said from the further end of the room, standing next to the table that was full of assortments.

“Hah! I bet she almost pissed herself!” Bakugo laughed mockingly, the party popper that was in his hand was long gone, resting against the floor.

“Whatever! All that matters is that we show Y/N how much we appreciate her! Would be a waste if all our hard work went to waste right?!” Kirishima yelled, hitting his knuckles together as he activated his quirk to prove his point.

Everyone cheered in unison. You were dragged to the kitchen as you were bombarded by many gifts and treats.

“Turns out we can’t bake!” Momo said sheepishly, rubbing the nape of her neck in embarrassment as her cheeks were tinted. “But Sato here helped us instead!”

Sato brushed it off with a laugh. “It was nothing! I would have helped regardless!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The night ended with your friends singing you happy birthday in the most off-key voice. If you were honest you would of flat out told them that it sucked but at the moment you were too busy enjoying yourself to say anything.

“Oh thank you Todoroki! You didn’t have to help me bring them!”

“Nonsense” with a shake of his head he placed your gifts by your desk. “There was a lot and you would have kept going back and forth. I don’t mind”

With an exchange of small talk, Todoroki left your room with a quick stiff hug and a wave.

You hummed softly and took the gifts out of their boxes or bags and began to neatly line them up on your work desk, debating on whether to fully put them away in the morning.

The squeak of your door caught your attention as  Ochako walked in, closing the door behind her. She was currently in her night gear, holding a plush animal in her arms.

“Not bothering you right?” She asked and sat down on your bed, watching as you moved quicker to finish taking everything out. “You never do Ocha. That’s a cute stuffie, is it new?”

“Yeah guess you can say that. It’s for you anyway”

“For me?” You turned on your heel and walked over to her as she nodded, lifting it for you to grab. “I made sure for them to buy you it specifically with my money. Do you like it?”

It was a tan and white Shiba Inu stuffed animal. It looked like a pillow more than anything with it being so big.

“I love it!” You cried out and took it from her, holding it close to your chest as you squished it, letting out little noises of excitement. “More to add to my collection!”

“And that’s exactly why I got it for you.”

She stuck her hand out for you to grab. “Come on. Lets lay down yeah? It’s been a long day and I’m kinda beat”

You pouted but took her hand. “But I’m not ready for my birthday to be over yet.”

Her gaze softened as the both of you went under the covers of your bed. “Not yet? What did you want to do?”

A shrug of your shoulders, you reached over your side and turned the lamp off, letting the room be filled with complete darkness. You reached for her hand, interlocking your fingers together. With a squeeze, you looked back up at the outline of her face. “Not sure. But I want to stay awake for a bit more at this moment. If that’s okay with you of course”

“Course I don’t mind baby. You know I’ll do anything for you.”

A smile crossed your lips as your legs tangled together with hers under the heavy blankets, an arm wrapping around your body to bring her closer to you. “I know. Thank you”

“You’re welcome but what for?”

“For being here with me. I appreciate you in ways that I can’t express with words...I just love you so much Ocha.”

Her heart ached at your confession as she quickly reciprocated your motion. “And I love you just as much or if not, even more.”

She buried her head into your hair, a whiff of your lavender shampoo hitting her nose and giving her a sense of satisfaction. She let out a small hum as her fingers wandered on the small of your back, your body shivering from her touch.

Part of her still couldn’t believe that you were hers. That you were the one who saw her at her most vulnerable state. That you were the one who saw all parts of her, inside and out. You were the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. You were her rock, her home, her angel. And she didn’t plan on letting go any time soon.

She closed her eyes for a second and let out a small sigh of happiness. It may have been your birthday, but having you in her arms was the only gift she could ever ask for.

Hi!! :) I was thinking about the marauders and I started wondering about the Snape Incident. It is popular opinion that Remus thought Sirius was the spy because of this Incident in the books. What do you think? Also do you think Remus, James, and even Peter changed their opinions or feelings about Sirius in anyway (long or short term) after the incident? If you feel like saying. have a good day :)

hello!! this is a v good q ty

i actually do not subscribe to that theory because... i find it kind of dumb?

ok that’s a little harsh let me clarify- i very much believe that remus’ opinions/view of sirius were permanently altered by the incident, and i’m sure that when he believed sirius to be guilty he remembered it as the first of two great betrayals on his part. however, i don’t really think one had much bearing upon the other at all beyond the superficial. sure, in both cases (as remus would have seen it at the time) sirius betrayed the marauders’ trust by divulging a secret and leading an an enemy to them- but the two scenarios are completely different. in one, sirius told snape about the whomping willow because he wanted to harm/frighten *snape* and was sick of him trying to expose remus; it was a reckless and callous way to go about it, and it shone a light on some of his uglier traits, but it was driven by characteristic blind loyalty to his friends and hatred of those seeking to do them harm. if sirius had been the spy, he would have had to pull a complete 180 from those motivations, or been faking it all along- so that his loyalty had somehow shifted to voldemort at some point, or had covertly been with his family, or those traits had been part of some elaborate lie on his behalf. the latter would be too absurd a theory (i doubt remus would honestly believe sirius to have been faking it for the entirety of their school years) so he must have thought sirius had simply gone to the dark side at some point and coldly relinquished his prior attachments- none of which meshes with the thoughtless, defensive anger that coloured his actions in the snape incident. honestly, now that im thinking about im not sure what might have lead remus to suspect sirius- i think it had to have been a simple process of elimination; obviously james and lily wouldn’t spy on themselves, and peter was dismissed because dear old frightened pete couldnt possibly imagine such a thing, so sirius was the only option close to them. certainly he had the profile for it- magically gifted, death eater connections, legilimens, etc. i don’t think remus had any strong conviction of his guilt (it was *sirius* and james and lily, for god’s sake) but i think the fact that sirius in turn considered him the most likely suspect and was presumably the one slowly pushing him away from james and lily would have naturally seemed suspicious from his side of things.

as for changed opinions post-incident: most definitely, yes!!!

for short-term, i think they all must have had instinctive knee-jerk reactions to the shock of it all. i tend to imagine james as the most angry, remus as the most hurt, and peter as the most scared by it; so their respective readings would have been something like “sirius is a bastard”, “sirius is heartless”, and “sirius is a monster”. peter i think is just scared shitless- obviously pissed off too, because what the fuck, sirius, someone could have died- but also it took him the longest time to grow close to sirius because sirius doesn’t take him very seriously and tends to be the meanest to him (especially at first because he’s james’ childhood friend but james is sirius’ now and sirius does not want to share), and he’s always been a little wary of him, but now he feels like he was right all along and sirius is just the prodigal black son that he looks like, cruel and dangerous and filled with bloodlust and oh god he’s crazy he might kill peter in his sleep (etc ad nauseam). remus is furious, but more than that he is devastated, because he nearly killed snape- he came close to genuinely slaughtering his schoolmate, and it just confirms all of his worst nightmares about his monstrosity, and he can’t belive sirius would do that to him; for the first while he thinks maybe they were never friends at all and sirius has just been biding his time to use him as a pet monster, and he thinks to himself that he’ll never be able to trust a word he says again. james is besides himself- james is the one sirius tells, darkly excited and expecting support, and james is the one who stares at him like he’s never seen him before it hits him and he’s sprinting wildly across the school grounds, horrified beyond words and swearing blindly to himself that snape won’t die, that he’ll ge there in time; james is the one who wrenches snape back as he gapes pale-faced at a snarling remus, and james is the one who sees remus first when he awakens, remembers himself, shudders full-body and goes “did i-“ in such a raw terrified voice it haunts james forever. it’s like sirius spat in his face. he can’t even look at him, it makes him so angry. he sees him after he’s dragged snape back into the school and dumbledore’s handled it, and sirius by then is unmoored and his eyes are like cracked glass but james doesn’t care, doesn’t feel anything for him but anger and disgust, and he shouts at him for ten good minutes and then doesn’t speak to him at all. short-term, james ceases to think of sirius as someone he knows.

long-term... hm. it’s hard to delineate. i think peter from then on is always just a little scared of sirius, which he’d stopped being between second and fifth year, and during the war there are countless moments where he stands with ice in his veins sure that sirius knows and ready to die, because he’s seen sirius nearly kill someone for less. remus never manages to trust him so fully again- though he trusts him with his life, he never quite trusts him on a personal level the way he might have otherwise, and it’s the cause of that sliver of distance they never manage to bridge. he and peter also both lose some degree of their hero worship for him- peter less so, because the people peter admires are strong and powerful and not necessarily good, but remus’ hidden shiny-eyed admiration dies there and then. i think oddly enough for james it probably changes things the least (counterintuitive i know) because it’s not so much that it changes his feelings or opinions about sirius as that it makes him change his optics- stop seeing sirius quite so much as someone just like him who has a few quirks courtesy of his upbringing, start seeing sirius as the person he is, and understand for the first time the unspeakably intricate relationship the two of them have. i think the incident as much as anything lily related (more, actually) is what motivates james’ decision to change his ways in fifth year. you know snape’s worst memory? james taunts and teases long past lily telling him to stop; he only starts going after snape in the first place because *sirius is bored* and he’s looking to entertain him. that’s fifth year james and sirius- bored, justifiably cocky, wrapped up in themselves, each other, and their self-made mythos; james has always been indulged and spoiled, and sirius’ sense of right and wrong is completely relative, and between the two of them they fail to realize (james) or care (sirius) that they are doing bad things and no one is going to stop them. the incident changes that. he’s furious for a bit, and incomprehending (how could sirius have done it? why would he have thought james would be on board?), and then gradually he simmers down and really pays attention- to everyone’s reactions, to how devastated sirius is, to the way he feels- and he registers for the first time that since first year he has been sirius’ moral compass in a post-black family world and if sirius thought this would be ok with him then he has been ok-ing too many things he shouldn’t have. once he figures that out, remus and sirius are cautiously talking again, and james doesn’t even wait on a further apology; he saw the look on sirius’ face, he knows. they never fight like that again.

anyways those are my two cents on the subject- ty for asking :)

Error

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Scifi, Angst, Robot Au

Words: 4.5K

Description: As requested by anon: “have u seen Vixx Error MV?? can i request a jungkook robot au based on the MV?? something along the storyline about after ur tragic death he couldnt live on without you so he made a robot that looks exactly like you and programmed all their memories they had together into the robot. but the police (well more those ppl in black from the MV lol) finds out about it and take actions. and so now you and her are trying to escape together.”

A/N: First off, I’m just going to say I love Vixx’s Error, and I’ve been wanting to write a robot au for a long time coming. I hope you don’t mind that I added my own little twist to this. Thank you for the request!

Jungkook stares at the humanoid robot positioned in front of him, tracing along every edge and curvature of the android that is an exact replica of the woman he has only able to see in his dreams since the day she left this world. Her eyes remained delicately closed, body rigid and lifeless, but her hair flowed naturally down towards her shoulders, and it reminds him of the exact way it used to flutter in the ocean breeze, the exact way it used to embody the familiar scent of her. He continues to gaze at the rendering machine, eyes flickering with ambiguity and swelling with imminent tears threatening to spill over. He is unsure of himself; uncertain of what he has done, and yet he cannot stop his heart from continuing to call out for someone his mind knows is already gone.

There is a kind of stillness in the room that makes Jungkook wholly hesitate one last time. His head throbs as the tiny voice of reason makes an attempt to crawl forward and awaken him, but he squeezes his skull with his hands, shutting it away before it can convince him to stop while he still can. Part of him knows this is not the answer, but a larger portion of him doesn’t care because he’s too close to stop now. He holds his breath, thrashing in his self-created penitentiary, shaking violently and coercing the voice to go away, and when it finally does, he’s ready to proceed without any more disruptions.

An eerie silence looms as the approaching finale instigates the slow churning rise of apprehension in his chest. He inhales and exhales, gradually calming his stiffened body and proceeds to finish off what he started.

After months of burying himself in the lab--designing, experimenting, and building—driven purely by his grief stricken heart and the determination of a madman, he was finally one step away from completion.

This was it.  

He was one step away from bringing you back.

  …

 9 Months Ago

 Whoever came up with the five stage of loss was spewing bullshit.

Jungkook has been stuck in limbo, slipping between the stratums of earth and hell for weeks, and the fact that his therapist kept telling him that time will heal the deepest of wounds was infuriating and maddening because Jungkook doesn’t buy any of it, especially not when he’s fully convinced that he has the ability to bring you back.

“Jungkook, are you sure about this? You understand that it’s illegal right?”

“No one has to find out. You won’t tell the authorities, will you?” Jungkook looks at him intently, eyes burning and desperate, nonverbally begging the older male to keep this secret, to hide it between the two of them for as long as need be. Of all the people in this world, Jungkook trusted Yoongi, and he knew for a fact that Yoongi would never rat him out.

Yoongi looks at the younger male with pitiful eyes and has no choice but to let out a defeated sigh. He knows Jungkook won’t listen to him anyways because any sort of reasoning just ends up going through one ear and out the other. Jungkook is too stubborn, too hopelessly in love with his dead girlfriend to think straight, to accept any kind of consolation offered in hopes of getting him to move on with his life because he still thinks it’s his fault.

That accident was a tragedy, and no one could’ve predicted that semi-truck would collide with his SUV that day. But he still chooses to imprison himself in guilt because he insists he could’ve prevented the unavoidable. And Yoongi can’t fucking stand to see him in pain, he can’t bear to see the kid continue to live in perpetual torment brought on by something that he had no control over, but the whole idea of creating a conscious robot did not sit well with the older male.

Yoongi looks back up at Jungkook, who was still waiting for an affirmative response. At least Jungkook wasn’t crying until his tears ran dry or showing up with sunken cheeks and bloodshot eyes from not being able to eat or sleep for days. He was maybe doing a tad bit better after the tragedy that happened three months ago, and although Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s because of this crazy idea or if he’s actually just moving to the next emotional stage of loss, he figures it’s much better to be trusted by the younger male than to be seen as an enemy so that way he can at least be of aid if worse comes to worst.

“No. I won’t tell anyone.” Yoongi murmurs, sighing once more.

Jungkook’s lips curve into the faintest of smiles, something Yoongi hasn’t seen the lights of in a long time. “Thanks.”

And then he’s gone, disappearing for the next six months.

  …

  Memory download complete.

Your eyes gently flutter open, squinting as your system adjusted to the artificial lights streaming down from the ceiling. Lost in a confused daze, you take a moment to stabilize, scanning the surrounding area to gain some sort of a footing, so at least you could process how to proceed from here. You don’t really feel anything unbearable, nothing you can’t handle with a bit of buffering from your hard-wired code, that is, until you see him.

Jeon Jungkook

The flood of emotions that washes over you the moment you recognize him instantly is overwhelming, to the point where it’s almost too overpowering to fully comprehend, too much for your system to logically handle, which shouldn’t actually be possible but somehow is. He’s looking at you with anticipation, eyes glittering with the tears he’s trying so hard to hold in.

“Jungkook” You voice, stepping forward and throwing yourself into his arms.

He welcomes your embrace immediately, enveloping you in his arms as securely as he can. Caressing your head as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, like he was afraid you would vanish if he didn’t hold you tightly enough. And it feels familiar; the same way it has felt when he hugged you on multiple occasions in the past, only now, it’s even more desperate, and he’s even more unwilling to let go.

“Y/N” He breathes out in relief and rapture as his tears finally tumble over, streaming down his cheeks and onto your exposed shoulders, and you can feel their warmth, the anguish they carry with them, and you can sense his pain in the most undiluted way. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Jungkook.” You whisper back despite not being able to understand the precise reason for your response, but seeing him quelled a deeply rooted longing that you are just now becoming hyper aware of. You can fully grasp the cause for his unbearable yearning, the origin of why every inch of his body was conveying elation at the sight of you. However, simultaneously, you felt that there was something important missing, something you didn’t have the means to obtain the link for or find a way to trace it back to the source data. 

“You remember me, right?” He pulls away slowly, holding you by the shoulders and searching within your synthetic eyes for that indisputable glint of recognition, the confirmation that his experiment was a success, and he had indeed brought you back. His features are laced with expectancy, and you can tell he’s grappling with the fear that you don’t remember him, and he failed.  

You nod your head deliberately, flashing him an endearing smile. “Of course.”

At the sound of your words, he returns the gesture fondly and exhales deeply. “I can’t believe you’re back.” He breathes out, leading you over to the bench and sitting you down beside him. “How do you feel?”

The question catches you off guard, you don’t know why there’s such an opposing mixture of emotions playing inside of you. “Happy to see you.” You blurt out, despite knowing it was a white lie. It hurts, but for some reason you don’t want to tell him that it does.

He smiles again, and the pain within you subsides momentarily. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry I left” The words come out before you’ve made a prediction about the response they would elicit. You aren’t sure if it will work, but you wanted to get one fact straight right away.  

A shadow hovers over his irises, and the aching inside of you swells once more. “It was my fault. I should’ve reacted faster.” He lowers his gaze even more. “I wish it was me instead of you.”

You close your eyes, replaying that moment of seeing the girl drenched in blood, lying unconscious in a totaled vehicle, and you understand. You know that you are supposed to be the girl he is longing to see. “No, Jungkook. It’s not your fault. It was an accident, no one could’ve predicted those events to happen that day. And please stop wishing you could’ve taken my place.”

He takes your hand in his, rubbing the back with his thumb in the way you’ve always loved most. “You’re right.” He agrees. “But it doesn’t matter now, you’re here and that’s all that matters.” 

His words do not provide you the unadulterated comfort that he intends. They are sincere, but they’re only pieces of the whole that is still broken, and you know it’s only a band aid covering a wound that has not been disinfected. “You’ve been through too much.” You squeeze his hand firmly, leaning your head against his chest just like the way you used.

“Anything for you.” Jungkook doesn’t pay attention to the strange sensation of persuading himself he’s brought you back from the dead. He’s completely fine with allowing his brain to continue tricking himself into thinking you are no different from the girl he lost in that car accident a year ago. 

But you on the other hand, are unable to ignore what you perceive to be a miscalculation.

  …

  “Do you like it?” Jungkook says, walking you into your new bedroom connected to his lab.

You look around at the spacious replica of the old room you shared with him back before you had died, complete with cream colored walls decorated with paintings and photos of the two of you in your happiest moments, a dresser for both of your clothes, your vanity lined with cosmetics and your favorite stuffed animals, his shelf of action figures and comic books, and finally a king-sized bed with white sheets placed directly in the center. It resembled the bedroom from your memories down to the very last detail, and you can’t ignore the bittersweet taste in your heart as you stood there, staring at the visual evidence of Jungkook’s attempt to restore that which cannot be repaired.  “You have a very good memory.” You comment.

He laughs for the first time in 12 months, the sound saturating the room strangely foreign to his own ears, but nevertheless completely genuine. “I scanned it and used 3-D printing technology. Piece of cake.”

You throw him a playful grin. “Boastful now, are we?”

“It’s not bragging if it’s the truth.”

“Never heard of that one.” You cock a brow.

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, realizing it’s been a year since he’s cracked a joke. “It’s been too long, I’ve lost my touch.”

“Well, let’s bring it back then.” You nudge him in the shoulder, and he responds by reaching over and tickling you until you are both squirming on the floor giggling like the good old days.

When the two of you calm down for your laughing fit, you continue to lie on the floor together as Jungkook takes you in his arms once more. And it’s not that you didn’t enjoy being like this with him more than anything else, but the glaring fault line is there again, and it’s cutting into you like shards of glass gripped in the palms of your hands.  

“And to think I almost listened when they told me to let you go.” He tilts his head down to look at you, expression unreadable, but you can sense his grip on that shard of glass, and you know he thinks ignoring the blood oozing out of his hand will make the stinging go away because that’s what your system wants you to think as well.

But it’s a lie because the wound is growing deeper.

“It would’ve been less painful.” You tell him, almost wanting to be more adamant about the statement.

He shakes his head. “I’ll never be able to.” He whispers.

The look in his eyes is exactly how you feel when he voices those words. A mixture of emotions that are indescribable except through the endless stories built by all the memories the two of you have shared, and the reality of having a future of infinite possibilities taken away, stolen abruptly so that you are only left with fading pages of a lost life.

You scoot in closer to him and hug him snugly. Taking in every piece of sensory information you are provided in that intimate position. You are listening to every vibration of his body, the sound of his heartbeat, and his calming whispers, and in that instant you can feel yourself inching that much closer to the missing source despite knowing you’ll never reach it.

  …

  Over the next few weeks, the error that had made itself known since the moment you opened your eyes for the first time is kept at bay through your interactions with Jungkook. From the moment you wake in the morning until the day comes to its inevitable end, he is with you. He is always with you, and the fact that you would never want to have it any other way, makes you feel selfish because you were fully aware that his love for you is more than you deserve. He’s beautiful just like this world he has gifted you the ability to experience, and everything about the days you are allowed to spend with him leaves you breathless even if those ephemeral emotions are artificial. He’s covering your shared wounds with his undying affection until the surface heals while the infection below is allowed to resume spreading beneath the scars, and even though the pain is reduced to a dull throbbing, it never vanishes completely.

But he does it because he can’t let go of you.  

And it’s not that Jungkook was very good at hiding his own pain or deceiving himself into trusting that everything was perfect. It was the fact that he had literally become immune to his actions, unable to focus on treating the problem rather than the symptoms. But you completely understand him because he made you feel like your life with him was authentic, existent, and tangible. In his embrace, you are able to set your worries aside temporarily. While listening to his voice you can’t help but believe in his words. Seeing his smile you are gifted the hope that everything can potentially work out. But it wasn’t long before the superficiality of the life you have forced yourself to consider valid is actually counterfeit, and you can never run away from such a fundamental issue.

“Y/N, I have good news!”

“What is it Jungkook?” You turn around to face him as he wraps you in his arms in excitement.

“I’ve figured out how to turn myself into a cyborg.” He announces in an utterly delighted tone that sends your system directly into panic mode.

“What?!” You pull away from him, shaking your head and trying to register his words. “No, why would you do that?”

His smile drops when he realizes your reaction was not the one he had expected to witness. “So we can be together. Isn’t that great?” He peers at you hopefully, waiting for a different response.

Together. For some reason, the word hits you suddenly like a harsh gust of wind that snaps a thick branch off of a tree because you are reminded in that instant of realization that being with him was not right. It was never right to begin with, and no matter how expertly you try to hide your mistake, it always comes back to bite. It is then that the cause of the missing source finally revealed itself, and it only took one decision from him for you to locate the reason for why all of this felt so wrong.

You were not who he assumes you to be, and you do not belong with him in such circumstances.

“Yes, it is” Your voice is detached as you force yourself to agree with him, but Jungkook is too enthusiastic to notice your change in demeanor to read in between the lines. “When will you start?” You inquire, hiding the true motive behind your words.

“Tomorrow” He grins, eyes disappearing only to be replaced by smile lines and a pair of bunny teeth that makes your metal ribcage feel warm, even though it’s not and never will be.

  …

  There’s an urgent pounding at the door of Jungkook’s lab the next day, right as he is about to render the machine to undergo the transformation.  

“Who’s that?” He says to no one in particular, thinking that it was maybe Yoongi coming to check up on him.

You stay silent, watching him closely as he walks towards the door. The trepidation sowing within you is beginning to sprout, but all you can do is wait passively.

“Who-“ Jungkook is cut off as the group of men in black suits forcefully barge in unwelcomed. “Hey!” He shouts as they head straight towards you. “What are you-”

“Grab her!” One of them orders as another man behind him walks up to you and binds both of your arms behind your back.

You scream, but Jungkook is quick to react, sprinting over to your side within a matter of seconds and ripping the suited man off of you.

“We need to get out of here!” He urges, intertwining his hand with yours and making a run for it. You follow as he tugs on your arm, running after him as he keeps your hand gipped firmly within his, and you almost wish you could stay like that forever, that nothing else mattered as long as he was with you.

The two of you run outside, and it’s the first time you feel the warm rays of the sun hit your artificial skin directly. It’s so warm and comforting, a sensation supposedly foreign but so familiar because it’s a physical reminder of all the sunlit days you’ve spent with Jungkook in the past, those from the memories he has gifted you, and it prompts you to momentarily forget that you are running from people who are going to take you away and lock you up because that lovely feeling swelling inside of you is melting everything else away. 

“Where are we going?” You shout, keeping your legs moving at the same pace as Jungkook’s.

“The mountains” He replies between raged breaths. “We can hide up there until I figure out a plan.”

You ignore the feeling of guilt that is beginning to nag at you. You hate yourself for putting him through all of this, for continuing to allow him to believe in what the two of you had even though you knew it was wrong. You had known all along. His misjudgment was understandable, but yours wasn't, because your mind was always clear and you’ve always had the power to make things right. You sensed the error in the beginning, and yet you still chose to live in the lie that continues to eat away at Jungkook.  

“Don’t worry, Y/N. Everything will be ok. I won’t let them take you away.” His reassuring words hit you like a bucket of ice water and the faint smile tugging at his lips as he turns to glance at you with glassy doe-eyes is a bloodstained dagger jabbing into your chest cavity. And that’s when you realized how much you truly loved him and how unconditionally grateful you were to receive his love despite the circumstances for why he loved you and how flawed everything was, and in that moment you make a promise to yourself that you will end everything and put him out of his misery.

The trail up the mountain is steep, but Jungkook is strong and determined to make it to the top. You watch the trees fly by as the two of you raced though the forest, the sent of musky wood and wild grasses filling your senses and throwing you back to when you and Jungkook had gone camping for the very first time, how happy he was on that day and how that memory seems to only cause him pain now. The contrast only strengthens your resolve, and it wasn’t long before the two of you reach the clearing on the edge of the cliff.

“How could they have found out?” Jungkook shakes his head, covering his face with his hands as he stops to catch his breath. It was impossible, he never let any of the information he was using leak out, and the only other person he told about you was Yoongi. It couldn’t have been him could it?

“I contacted them through my system.” You mumur softly, causing him to freeze in place and his eyes to lift up, meeting yours with growing misunderstanding.

“What?” It comes out as a muted whisper. “You did what?” He takes a step closer and you take one back. “Y/N, why? Why would you tell them?” He rushes up and grips you by the shoulders, examining your body to see if any discernible malfunctions were obvious and he had just been stupid enough to miss it.

You shake your head, fighting your internal system that was trying to convince you what you did was a mistake because it wasn’t, and you knew deep down that you had to do it. “I can’t sit back and watch you ruin yourself any longer.” There are dry tears where real ones should belong in your eyes, and although they don’t stream down your cheek the way they are supposed to, the invisible substance is still able to convey the excruciating agony that has planted itself in the core of your metallic heart. You lift an arm to caress his warm cheek, moistened by his own freshly produced human tears, and he feels so familiar and so endearing that you almost feel alive like her, the missing source that you could never be, and in that infinitesimal second you’re almost able to persuade yourself that despite not being her, you are still real and you have the power to release Jungkook from his self made prison.

So you step back. 

Further and further, and it takes all the strength you have to not stop.

“Y/N! NO!!!” He’s screaming, but the world is being drowned out by his desperation. He’s rooted in place, unable to move his numb limbs that are starting to give way. “What are you doing!?” He croaks.

You smile at him one last time before taking the last step towards the edge of the cliff.

 “I’m setting you free.”

  …

  “Listen, Jungkook, I know it’s hard.” Yoongi begins, walking over and settling down on the couch of his apartment next to Jungkook. It had been two weeks since your self-destruction, and Jungkook was finally beginning to wake up.

“I keep making errors” Jungkook shakes his head, balling his hands into fists.

“You’ve only made one error thus far.” The younger male looks up, confused. “Turning her into a robot and thinking that was the equivalent of bringing her back.”

“I thought it worked.” Jungkook’s voice is hollow and empty because he’s not even confident in his own statement.

“I know you programmed her to be identical to Y/N, but she wasn’t Y/N.” Yoongi scoots over quietly and places a tender arm around Jungkook’s shoulder, rubbing his arm calmingly. “You put your memories of her into her, but that’s a completely different standpoint of how Y/N perceived you when she was alive.”

“W-what do you mean? They were memories of us. She knew us. She recognized me.” Jungkook stares off into space, eyebrows furrowing, and head throbbing once more.

“There are two halves of a relationship, two different perspectives that make up the whole.” Yoongi explains. “Those two halves are the same story from opposite points of view. I’m sure she sensed it somewhere along the way, and that’s what made her ultimately destroy herself. She must’ve understood the immense amount of pain you were in and used her artificial intelligence to calculate how to save you.”

“So it would’ve worked if I had somehow used Y/N’s memories instead?”

Yoongi shakes his head sadly. “No matter what you could’ve done, that robot could not have been Y/N. There is only one Y/N in this universe, just like there is only one version of each of us.” Yoongi sighs, pausing to come up with an easier way of looking at the concept. “Look, I don’t want to go into all these theories of what makes us who we are, but I’d like to think there’s much more to us than just flesh, blood, atoms, particles, and even memories. Wouldn’t you also like to think that Y/N was much more than what could be described by ordinary things?”

“Yeah, she was breathtaking and unbelievable in so many ways.” 

Jungkook closes his eyes, picturing the last time you smiled at him in the passenger’s seat, how the appearance of your dimples and sparkling eyes made his heart feel so full and warm, like the rays of sunlight that cascade over flowery meadows in the summer and the diamond-like crystals of dazzling snowflakes in the winter. Then his mind drifts over to the you he created with those same memories, the way your artificial features mimicked almost the exact same gesture, making those emotions manifest into tentative form, close enough to feel under the tips of his fingers. And even though it wasn’t the you he had intended to create, he still loved you almost just as much, in almost the exact same way.

“Do you think she loved me?” He asks after a long moment of silence.

 “I’m certain they both did.” Yoongi answers.

...

Would you be all right with writing a scenario where Diavolo’s s/o finds out she’s pregnant with his child, and how she breaks the news to him? Incoming angst, please (but I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t entirely angst). If a scenario is too difficult, I’m perfectly fine with hcs! Ty!

these are headcanons because i just couldnt stop thinking about this and i wanted to get in doppio too and yeah, anyway

below the cut is; a Very Unhealthy Relationship and mentions of abortion

- S/O is more than aware of Diavolo’s eccentricities and his desire to keep his face and his self hidden from all of Naples. They’ve dealt with him when he’s sellotaped up cracks under the doors and pinned curtains to any side of the windows. They know exactly what lengths he goes to in order to keep himself a secret. - They, then, are the only person who ever sees Diavolo’s true face, and even then there’s always tension in his eyes when he sees them looking. It’s not a healthy relationship; s/o can’t count on both hands the number of times Diavolo’s told them he’d kill them if they left him. - They know that Diavolo won’t react well to the news. They go about their day as normal after they’ve found out, grateful that Diavolo at least lets them live out an ordinary existence, and tries to figure out what they’re supposed to say to the most powerful man in Naples. - They don’t know about Trish - neither does Diavolo, yet. When they go to Diavolo’s hotel room for the night, reciting a complicated series of numbers and letters Diavolo’s had them memorize so he can be sure it’s really them, the man who answers the door looks at them and can tell something is terribly wrong. - Diavolo can be sweet, sometimes. He’s controlling and manipulative and paranoid, but s/o thinks they love him anyway, if only for the brief moments he cups their face and murmurs soft things about how much he loves them and how he couldn’t live without them. - S/O figures out that the only way they won’t chicken out is to just blurt it all out in one, so that’s what they do - Diavolo’s face cracks. - Part of him, the part of him that still maybe has a little flash of Doppio in it, is thrilled. A child, with one of the only people he’s ever cared about? A son he can mould in his own image-- - The second part of him, cold and calculating and Diavolo through and through, soon takes control. A son is a weakness he can’t afford, as is a daughter - there are too many things that could go wrong. What would his s/o have written on the birth certificate? They know too much about him, surely they’d make themselves a target--- “No,” he says, and his voice is cold and final. “You can’t.”- S/O is Italian, and probably raised in a good Catholic family. They don’t understand what he’s saying, and they go to reply, to protest - and then they see the look in his eye and they realize exactly what he’s implying. - Abortion in Italy is a touchy subject; whilst it’s legal, it’s hard to find a doctor willing to perform the procedure. This won’t be a problem for Diavolo, of course. Even if he didn’t have enough power to frighten someone into obeying, he has Cioccolata. If his s/o gets hurt by his surgeon - well, he’ll be pissed, but surely it’s better than letting something that could so easily be his downfall grow within them? - Saying no to Diavolo isn’t something that happens. S/O might love him, but they’re terrified of him, and with good reason - the man has them trapped completely. There’s no escape even if they wanted it. They don’t want it - they want Diavolo, but they don’t know any more if they want Diavolo or if they’re too afraid to leave him. - S/O goes to sleep that night next to him, Diavolo still awake and stiff. He doesn’t sleep well when someone else is in the room; when they awaken, it’s Doppio who’s beside them, a smile on his face as he asks whether s/o slept well. - A conversation with Cioccolata on the phone is enough for Doppio to get across what the Boss wants. Judging from his words, Diavolo has told Doppio a very different story than what has actually happened between them - something about the baby being too great of a medical risk for his s/o to carry. - When Doppio puts his hand over s/o’s stomach and says; “It’s such a pity. You’d have been such a good mother! And any child would be lucky to have the Boss as a father!”, s/o swallows back tears.- Diavolo makes decisions, usually, with cold certainty - but as he instructs Doppio to take his s/o to Cioccolata, he can’t help but wonder . . . what if he’d chosen differently??

(for extra bonus angst points, consider Cioccolata actually losing s/o during the process, and for once not on purpose)

When it is written in the stars. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Hobbit characters, they belong to their owners. The only ones i own is the one i created in this story. There might be strong scenes and language. Faenthor had been in and out of a coma for four days, now was the first day he felt strong enough to really focus on his suroundings, he looked to his right, he saw Elanoreth sleeping in a chair in the corner, he smiled, she looked so beautiful and peacefull, he turned his head to the left and he felt someone holding his hand, he was expecting to see his sister sitting by his bedside, but it was a elleth he didnt recognice, the elleth sitting by his bedside, holding his hand had forrest green eyes and long curly auburn colourd hair... she was pretty, but had a possessive glimps in her eyes.... she smiled gently to him and squeezed his hand "good evening my lord, i am so happy you are awake and focused" he pointed to a mug of water, it felt like he had been eating sand for a week. she pushed a glass of cold water to his lips and he gulped down the entire glass. he nodded greatfully. "who are you?" he asked, he was puzzeled by the fact that a elleth he had never seen before was showing him this much care and affection. "my lord, i am your personal healer, the king ordered me to take care of all your needs, so if you ever need anything i am at your service" she sat down at his bedside again, her hip pushing against his, he pulled himself further up on the bed hearing the unsetteling undertone in her voice. He glanzed over to Elanoreth, making sure she was still sleeping. The door flew up and the king walked in, the elleth jumped off the bed and disaperad out of the door by the wave from the kings hand. Thranduil pulled a chair over and sat down by his bed "Glad to see you alive and well, my friend". Faenthor looked at the king and nodded " Glad to see you are doing well too, your highness" he answered, though Faenthor didnt think the king looked well at all, he looked really worn and beaten, an unsetteling feeling crept into his heart, who had they lost that could cause this affect on the king, he was almost afraid to ask " are everyone alright? " Thranduil met his brown orbs "your parants and uncle is alright, Galadriel is well, your cousin Elladan was hurt but is up on his feet again now." Thranduil looked at the floor, Faenthor waited, he hadnt mentioned Faenith and Elrohir. Had something happened to his sister?, he swallowed hard. "my sister? is she alive or ?" he couldnt finish, the king reafused to look at him. Thranduil wasnt sure how he was going to tell Faenthor about his sister. He had been interigating the orcs and they all said the same. They had help getting into the palace, the two elfs giving them information was Faenith and Elrohir. If he hadnt been there, hearing it himself, he wouldnt have belived it. His heart was crushed. The king cleared his throat " Faenith is alive". Faenthor exhaled loudly, relieved that his sister was alive, but the look on the kings face was not promesing " she is alive, but?" The kings face was serious, sadnes was written in his light blue eyes. Faenthor embraced himself " your sister is accused of conspiring against the crown, when she is found she will be brought to trail for her betrayal. " Faenthor sat up in his bed, he couldnt belive what he heard. "you cant be serious? my sister, conspiring against you. the elf she loves? the one she is about to wed?" The king looked back at the floor, Faenthor could see that this conversation was just as hard for the king as it was for him. "she was plotting with your other cousin, Elrohir. They escaped under the attack, i have a company of my best trackers out looking for them." Faenthor knew that it wouldnt take long until they where found and brought back, no one knew these woods better then the woodland elfs. "what will happen to her? " The king sighed, "i know my consil will demand execution, i cant bare the thought of her dying, so i am going to make you a memeber of my consil and one of my advisors. I am hoping for banishment or life in prison" Faenthor looked at Elanoreth and then back at the king, he did not envy the kings position right now, eitherway they where damned to fade. "i wish you would have asked me under other sircomstanses, but to atleast try to save my sisters life i will accept your offer. But you know she could never do this. She loves you higher then life itself, and you love her as well. You both have told me. " The king got out of his chair, clearly done with the conversation, Faenthor needed to get better, and fast. He had to find out what was really going on. It was early morning, the sun was not up yet, Faenith felt like they had been walking around in the forrest for weeks, it felt like they where going around in circles, it was a foggy morning, and the forrest looked grim, with the fog so thick she couldnt see her own feet. The suroundings matched her emotions. She had asked Elrohir over and over to go back, she needed closure, she needed to burrie her loved ones, she needed to say good bye to then, she knew she would meet her true love on the other side, he was there waiting for her, she wanted to escape to him, join him, she was longing to be in his arms again. Everytime she closed her eyes she was back in his chamber, the night before everything happened, she was in his arms, feeling his warmth. It felt like ages ago. "Elrohir, i need to go back, i cant go on knowing their bodys is rotting out in the open, they need to be burried" Elrohir gave her a sour look, he had grew tired of her nagging "You know we cant go back, it is overrun by the orcs, they will slay us as soon as they see us. We need to get to Rivendell. When we are home we will send a company to burry them" That wasnt good enough for Faenith, she needed to do it herslf. When had Elrohir gotten so cold and distant to his family. There where something with him that didnt add up, that didnt make sence to her. She had a hard time beliving that everyone was dead, they didnt feel dead in her heart. She needed to get back somehow. Maybe she could wait until he had gone to sleep and sneak off without him noticing. Elrohir looked at her from his sidevision, she was quiet and looked like she was in deep thought, he knew he had to give her some time to grieve, but the patience was wearing thin on him. He had waited long enough for her, he was planing on waiting to declare his love for her until they got back home, but the nagging about going back, and her constant sobbing was getting on his nerves, he needed to open her eyes and see that there where more to her life then what they left behind, she needed to see him. He stoped and pushed her against the nearest tree. " You need to stop tormenting yourself like this, you need to get over him. If you think about it he was never truly yours." Faenith met his brown orbs, he had changed, she could see it in his eyes, the elf she always had considered to be her friend, almost as close as a brother, had now turned into someone she didnt recognise. "Elrohir please, dont say that. I understand you dont want to go back, but let me, i love him." He grabed her chin firmly between his thumb and pointer, he stared into her silvery eyes, the light was gone, he needed to awaken it, he leaned in and kissed her, she tried turning her head but he tighten the grip and pressed his lips against hers, he felt her hands pushing against his chest but he pressed himself harder against her, she was whimpering, why was she denying him what he wanted, he loved her, he had always loved her, he deserved this after waiting and being so patient with her. He tangled his hand into her hair and pulled her head back and claimed her now open mouth, he moaned into her mouth, this felt so good, finally she was about to become his. Suddenly a sharp pain flashed through him like lightning, he let go of her, grabed his groin and fell to his knees, he closed his eyes and tried to breath through gritted teeth, that little whore he thought , he was gonna show her that behaviour like that wasnt tolerated, she was gonna give him what he wanted. Faenith had acted out of reflexes, she had kneed him hard, she watched him for a second where he was kneeling in pain, but she turned around, she couldnt wait until he fell asleep to get away, she had to run now. And fast, before he got his streangth back. She almost ran blindly through the forrest, she cursed the fog for being so thick, she heard him shouting, cursing. She felt branches whiping her in the face, ripping her clothes, it was almost like they had claws and was trying to catch her, she forced her self to run faster, she couldnt slow down, he was probably back on his feet and chasing her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Pure terror ran threw her veins. All she could think about was to get back, back to him. Thranduil sat in his study staring into the fireplace, the only thing left in the room was his desk, a big table full of maps, and a chair infront of the fire, the rest was destroid from his inner rage. He had a mug of wine dangeling from his long fingers, not caring to use a glass, he just gulped down the strong wine straight from the mug. Almost a week had passed, most of the guests had gone home after the attack, he did not care, he had not bothered to see them on their way, to hell with courtesy. His people was already been marked as savages a long time ago. All he wanted to do was dull the aching in his heart with wine, and numb his mind. He leaned his head back on the chair a knock interupted his thoughts "Go away" he shouted, but the door swung open and the last person in the world he wanted to see marched in. "Are you just gonna sit here and drown yourself in your precious wine, while my daughter is out there alone and lost, an easy target for the orcs and goblings, and eru knows what lingering in your forrest?" Barathon shouted, Thranduil shut his eyes and tried to ignore the angry lord standing infront of him shouting his head off. "Dont you dare ignore me you faithless savage!" Thranduil just had another gulp of wine " What would you have me do, i already sent out my best trackers to find your daughter and your nephew" Barathon just looked at the king in disbelif, how could this elf claim to love his daughter and sit here and be so calm and careless. He was just like his father. " You could be out looking for her!" Thranduil waved him off "Leave me alone, you will get the word when my trackers brings her back" The kings arrogant behaviour made Barathon lose it, he grabed the kings robe and lifted the tall elf up from the chair. "You are not now or have ever been worthy of my daughter!" Thranduil stumbled up on his feet, Barathon let go of his grip on the kings robe and Thranduil stumbled back, gripping his desk to regain his balance "You, Thranduil Orperion, are a disgrace to the throne. You are nothing more then a drunken ellon who is stumbeling his way through life, with no purpose, i dont get what my daughter saw in you." Thranduil squinted his eyes to focus on the lord. "You call me faithless, what about your daughter?. Who so coldly seduced me while plotting with her cousin to have me killed?" Barathon scofed, "My daughter have done no such thing!, you are just like your father, pointing your fingers at others when your ignorance gets visable, hiding behind the power of the crown. If you truly knew my daughter you would never belive the filthy lies of an orc!" Thranduil clenshed his jaw shut, he was breathing heavy, the words angered him. "Maybe she did not plot with Elrohir to have me killed, but she ran off with him, she left me for him!" Barathon gave out a bark of a laughter "maybe she realized you wherent good enough for her. You two have been fooling around for two months and far as i know no results, nothing to show for it, while my son on the other hand, took him only one month to secure lady Elanoreth position." He walked over to the now furious king and pushed his pointer into Thranduils chest " Are you really sure your son is really yours? " He knew the king was fuming inside, but he wanted the king to release some of the anger and not bottle it up. Faenthor had been complaining about how the king locked himself up and ripped him self into pieces with his own thoughts. He wanted to provoke some kind of emotion out of the king. Thranduil threw himself at the lord, his fist met its target with great force, alittle surprised he had acted out in anger like that he looked down at his hands and back at the lord "do not drag my son into this, or the dead queen!" Barathon rubbed his jaw, alittle set back that the king had punched him, he was surly not expecting the cold collected king to lose it like that. " I see you are not so collected like you try to make everyone think you are. Maybe my daughter have had an effect on you" Thranduil knew Barathon was right, Faenith have had a hugh impact on him. He did not care to go on if he couldnt have her, he just needed to make sure his counsil ruled for banishment instead of execution before he let him self fade into nothing. "Leave my study, there is no point in this bickering. We will never be on good therms." Barathon could actually agree with the king on that. Barathon marched out of the room and passed a guard who bowed before he hurried into the kings study, shutting the door close behind him "my lord, the company is back, they have her. " Thranduil snaped his head up and looked at the guard, this was the words he had been waiting for a whole week, now his questions would be answered. Exhaustion threatened Faenith to give up, she had crossed a shallow creek and the cold water was now soaking her clothes, making them heavy, the coldness making her legs stiff, her skin was sore and she had felt a prickeling feeling and touched her cheek, her fingertips had been covered with blood. She had heard that Elrohir was behind her a couple of times, it was almost like he was playing cat and mouse with her, she pushed herself further, her lungs was burning and she was gasping to get enough air down to conntinue. She stumbled on a dead branch and fell flat on her stomach, she picked herself up, her feet was about to give under her, when someone grabed her from behind , she kicked and screamed and clawed her fingernails at the hands holding her around her waist. "Calm down my lady, we are here to bring you back! " Her head clouded by fear, she continue fighting the elf holding her, until another came in front of her and grabed her hands and made her look at him " The king demands for you to be brought back to the palace! Dont make this harder for yourself!" Faenith shook her head and her orbes scanned her surroundings, five guards, dressed up in the Mirkwood Palace colours looked at her with watchfull eyes." wait what? the king?, the king is dead." She was confused, the guard infront of her tied her hands together, this made her even more confused, why would they bind her hands, she was not a threat, not now when she knew who they where. " Why are you tying me up?" The guard just looked at her with a ghost of a grin on his lips "not risking you escaping" he said matter of factly. Escaping? she wherent going to escape, she was running back to the palace, she tried to tell the guard that, but for some reason they didnt seem to belive her. They placed her infront of a guard on a horse and they where riding in silence back, she leaned back on the guard behind her and closed her eyes. The whole thing was probably a missunderstanding that would be cleared up as soon as she came back, maybe Legolas had survived and was now the new king. They had reached the palace, it was quiet and alittlebit eary, she felt a great sadness lingering in the walls. She expected to be shown into the throne room or atleast the kings study, but she was thrown into the damp dungeon, she clenched her hands around the thick bars, not understanding what was going on. "Why am i being treated like a prisoner, i need to speak with the king, there have been a missunderstanding! I demand to speak with the king!" The guards looked at her with an arrogance she had never seen on them before. The captain of the guards came up to her. " You are being treated as the trator you are, you will be held here until your trail comes up!" shock and fear was written all over her face, she sunk to the floor, tears where streaming down her face. How had this happened, what crime had she comitted? Faenthor was sitting in his parants chamber, trying to comfort his mother, but he knew nothing would work until Faenith was returned to them, a guard came in and announced that his sister was now being placed in the dungen, he got up and his mother let out a loud gasp, followed by her crying out Faeniths name. He walked over to the guard "I demand to talk with her!" the guard nodded, it had been announced that he was now one of the kings advicors, this gave him alot more authoraty and respect among the staff of the palace. He followed the guard, as he entered the dungeon he walked over to his sisters cell, she was sitting on the floor clenching her hands around the barrs so tight that her knuckles was white. "Leave us" he demanded before he hunched down infront of her, her clothes was dirty and thorn, her hair was full of tangles, grit and leafs, she lifted her face and looked at him, and her skin was scraped and her cheeks was grimed by tears and dirt. He had never seen his sister like this. " They say i am to stand trail for treason" her voice was merly a whisper, Faenthor just nodded, his face serious but worried. "what happened to you?" Faenith sighed and closed her eyes. "I had just gotten Elanoreth and was talking to my mother, telling her to come with me and lady Elanoreth, that Thranduil had ordered his best guards to keep us safe, thats when i saw Elrohir, he said he couldnt find Elladan and that he needed my help to find him, i was conflicted as to what i was going to do, but when i was to follow my mother and the guards they where gone, i could not find them. It was chaos. I desided to help Elrohir, and maybe find Thranduil after and help him take out the orcs, Elrohir draged me out into the garden.." she paused " after that everything whent black, and i cant remember anything els until later, it was dark and i woke up in the woods. With Elrohir. I begged him to go back, to try to find others, but he said everyone was dead! I was heart broken. " she stoped and looked at her brother. New tears welled up in her eyes. " Is he dead? Oh please eru, tell me he is not?" Faenthor shook his head, taken back alittle by her story, but he belived her, he knew his sister would never comit any form of treason. He knew who she was speaking of, he gave her a quick smile. " He is very much alive, allthough not well, he thinks you whent freely with Elrohir, that you and Elrohir are one. He thinks you only seduced him to get information about how the palace was being secured. " Faenith gasped, she pushed her fingertips to her sore lips, Faenthor placed his hand over her other hand and squeezed it to give her streangth " how could he belive i am capable to cross him like that?. I love him more then life itself. " Faenthor nodded, he knew his sisters feelings for the king was real. "The orcs told him. We captured some and they where held alive long enough to tell the king that you and Elrohir had been plotting and trading the information you knew for safe passage through the woods. The king whent mad and killed them all " Faenith whimpered, so that was what Elrohir had been doing. The pieces of the puzzle started to come together. She looked up and met her brothers brown orbs " He was the one plotting against the crown of Mirkwood. He wanted to rule over Rivendell and aperantly me by his side, he tried something in the woods, i managed to escape. I ran the entire day and that is when Thranduils guards found me and brought me back" Faenthor cracked a smile. He knew his sister was a fighter, and that she was as innocent as he belived her to be. He needed to speak to the king, convince him that it was all a missunderstanding. The word that Faenith was now imprissoned reach Thranduils ears, he pulled his robe on and walked down the stairs to the dungeon, he stoped in the stares and looked as Faenthor was sitting infront of the cell barrs whispering with his sister, it was too dark for him to see Faenith face, but he saw her tangled hair and her clenched fist around the barrs. He took a deep breath to get the streangth to see her in this state, his whole body was aching to free her and hold her in his arms. He tightend his grip around the key, he had in his right hand. He walked down the last sets of stairs, Faenthor had clearly heard him, he whispered something to his sister before they both got up and he walked up to him. "She is innocent. It was all Elrohirs doing, ask her, she will tell you, she just told me everything." Thranduil nodded. "We will talk when im done here. " Faenthor left the dungeon, they where alone and he was suddenly unsure on how he was going to aproach her. He walked up to her cell, her silvery orbs met his light blue, his heart droped into his stomach when he saw how she looked. She just stood there watching him, he unlocked the barrs and walked in, before he knew it she had thrown herself into his arms, her arms was locked behind his neck and she nussled her face in the crock of his neck, she pressed her whole body into his, unsure how to react to her embrace he just stood there, his heart was telling him to pull her closer and never let her go, his mind was repeating the orcs words over and over. She pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes sparkeling from the tears in them, he swallowd hard. "Thank eru you are alive!" she whispered between sniffles. Lost for words he just stood there and continuing to stare at her. "He told me you where dead, that you where all dead. I begged him to go back, i needed to see for my self, i couldnt belive him" Thranduil took one step towards her "Did you plot with him to have me killed so that you could get out of our union and be with him? " His voice was cold and hard. She took one step closer to him, now they where only inches apart "No i would never! You are my everything. I did not even know about his plans." She placed her hand over his heart, like he had done the night before the orc attack "I have always and only been yours. " He could not hold back anylonger, he wraped his arms around her and claimed her lips, he knew this was probably going to be the last time he could ever taste her lips again, he took a deep breath and took in her sent before he let go of her and took a step back. " The counsil are putting you on trail for treason. " she nodded, her face fearstruck " what will happen to me?" Thranduil, brushed his thumb over her cheek to whipe away a tear " the best outcome would be banishment, the worst execution, unless we can prove your innocense." She pressed her shaking fingertips to her swollen lips "to prove my innocent you need to find Elrohir and interrigate him." Thranduil nodded in agreement, her next words took him by surprise " do you belive that i am innocent? " He pulled her back into his arms in a tight embrace, he kissed the top of her head. " i do". That was all she needed to hear. She closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling his arms around her. He stayed with her for while, she told him what had happend to her, and it made more sence to him then what the orcs had said, he cursed his jealous side that made him belive she could betray him. She had fallen asleep in his arms, he had placed her down on her cot and left the cell, he needed to talk to Faenthor and come up with a plan to prove her innocense once and for all. Faenthor tapped his fingers on the wodden surface on the table infront of him, the rest of the consil had just left the room, some in anger, some in confusion. Thranduil sat down next to him as he shoved a glass of wine infront of him "They are really out for blood" Faenthor said as he lifted the glass and took a sip, he had gotten accustomed to the strong wine after befriended the king. Thranduil grunted "Their life was in danger, they want to eleminate the threat, they dont know her. " Faenthor nodded, he knew the words Thranduil spoke was true. "you know it might help if you told everyone that you have bonded with her and that you where to wed her. That will make them see her in a different light. They would see that she was not driven by greed." Thranduil just looked at him, he had thought about it, he was almost tempted to blurt it out to the counsil, but she needed Galadriels help to make the consil members understand that he had all rights to remarry. "I will ask Galadriel to come talk with them to morrow morning." Faenthor sighed in relife "so you truly belive in my sisters innocense?", Thranduil nodded. She told me everything after you left, the look in her eyes made me belive her, though i have a strong urge to tear every lim from Elrohirs body for what he put her through." Faenthor gulped down the rest of his wine and agreed with the king. They where interupted by Elanoreth peeking her head in the door "may i enter, your highness, i have a request?" Thranduil nodded and they both stood up as Elanoreth walked in and sat down across the table. She smiled a loving smile to Faenthor before she met the kings blue orbs. "I have just visited Faenith, and i was wondering if it was possible to maybe request a bath and new cloths for her, her clothes is thorn, and her skin scraped, it will be very degrading for her to stand trail to morrow in such a condition?" Elanoreth had already promised Faenith a bath even if the king refused her request. Both Faenthor and Thranduil just stared at her, they both looked alittle embarraced that they had not thought of such a thing themselfs, since they where the first who talked with her, and they both have seen the sorry state she was in. Thranduil cleared his throat and grabed his keys in the pocket of his robe, he shoved it across the table towards Elanoreth. "Offcourse, but use my private bath, there no one will see her, it will be less speculation and talk that way. You can tell her to rest in my private chambers for the night, i will take her to the dungeon before sunrise myself." Elanoreth gave Thranduil a knowing smile and bowed as she left the room. Faenthor nudged Thranduil to get him out of his thoughts, he could see where this where going. "Do you really think it is wise, your majesty, that you spend the night with her, right before her trail, what if we cant find Elrohir and prove her innocense and she is to be executed or if they do find him, and they still vote for banishment and she ends up carrying your child? It is hard being forced to mend for yourself and even harder when you have a child to take care of. " Thranduil refilled their glasses, and looked at Faenthor with a ghost of smile on his lips "It will secure her place if she was in a delicate situation, they can not vote for execution knowing she is carrying royalty, and they can not banish her becouse of the same reason, atleast not until the elfling is born, that will give us enough time to prove her innocense and for me to wed her. " Faenthor cracked a smile, he really liked the kings thinking. He clinked his glass against the kings glass and they both emptyed their glasses.

why i no longer support new age culture

i had the unexpected shamanic call years ago. unexpected and forced to that. i have extraperceptional abilities that make me able to see the thin veil within worlds and realms that you couldnt see with the aid of your two eyes only. after my awakening or call or whatever you want to call it, i found myself being surrounded by people of same mentality. and after long research, this is why i think new age culture is nothing but another brainwashing and delusionary culture, and most people that claim themselves to be awakened, dont know actually what they are talking about. these are not bad concepts, but they are highly highly misinterpreted.

1) new age culture wants you to love everybody, no matter who they are, no matter what they’ve done, always forgive their mistakes, always be compassionate and never judge people by their actions. this is CORRECT.  but what about setting your own boundaries? i’ve been surrounded by people with this kind of mentality, and, sorry to say that, two of them went to psychiatric institute for this behaviour. why? because universe sent straight their way some big big energetic vampires that wanted nothing but all of their friends, all of their wealth, their interior peace, the things surrounding them. and they reacted such as “but you have to love and accept everybody for who they are and help them succeed in their own dreams!”  beep beeeep... *sound of tv talent programs when you get eliminated* .... when i was trying to warn them then they would point the finger at me saying that i was not compassionate enough and i was talking shit about others and i was the wrong one in this. after some years the same people that behaved like this now they dont trust nothing and nobody, not even the universe, asking it why things like this have happened to them.

shamanism or spiritualism requires CONSCIOUSNESS. to be conscious of which energies you are sending, where are you sending them, and if the place you want to give your whole self to , is actually LOVE or just a big illusionary trap.  yes universe is made out of love, but the geometry of the lives of our planet, is catching and getting catched, eating or getting eated, whether you like it or not, you have to be conscious of your own animal and earthly connection, which also makes part of this domination/submission game, that you can find pretty much also in the plant nature. so yes, everything is made out of love, but things work like this in this earth. so always be conscious. 

2) new age culture says that you are responsible for your own happiness and for your peace and whatever you choose to think or feel it’s your own and only choice. correct? yes!  aaaand no, at the same time.  you can’t go to a child who just lost his mom and say that happiness is a choice. you can’t go to a suicidal person to say that interior peace is a choice. you just simply can’t go to a person who has gone a lot of hard things through life and say “well if you are not happy it’s your choice” .... your feelings are not a choice! you don’t choose to fall in love with someone! do you really think that all the depressed people in the world just prefered to be sad instead of happy if they could only choose? i’ve been seeing some people that claim themselves to be spiritual and awakened blabla talkers, pointing the finger to sad people or people with low energies and feeling superior about the fact that they are happy and those other people are not.  let me tell you, it is true that you are responsible for your happiness, but it’s a long and hard process to get there, maybe it will take even years.

3.1) stay away from negative energies. fear, anger, and sadness are wrong for you. you should avoid feeling them and put some love on it instead. 

true? yes... aaaaaaaaaand no!  i’ve been seeing people just feeling down and then getting avoided by everyone else just because they didn’t want to cope with “bad energies” in real life, and then posting curandero quotings on facebook feeling all shamanistic and shit. was not the purpose of all this the healing of each other and reuniting the world community together as whole again? for sure those people getting avoided simply had a bad day, or bad people around themselves, in childhood or even just now, avoiding them and then feeling superior because you have amazing energies doesnt make you an awakened visionary. it makes you an asshole. going back to 2nd point, thinking that this people just choose their state of being, and feeling superior even further without even asking if they need some sort of help. how can i not call this a brainwash?

3.2)  stay away from negative energies. fear, anger, and sadness are wrong for you. you should avoid feeling them and put some love on it instead.

now let’s talk about those spiritual people that repress this kind of emotions thinking that are really bad for them and prefering to “put some love on them instead” .  so first of all, you are judging your own self for feeling this completely natural and divine emotions. you are feeling bad for this, feeling not worthy for this, and myself too i was feeling afraid that my own spiritual fellas would judge for how i was feeling, because for new age culture, you can’t talk one day about spiritual and metaphysical shit and the next day be sad as hell. so this people repress these emotion, etiquetting them as “bad” and “unworthy to be in my body” with the only result to amplify them inside more and more. if you think that everything is divine, then these emotions are divine too. who are you to say what’s wrong and right?  my suggestion is, listen to them, take them out, because they are here to save you. if you get angry, i think it’s your own perfect self defending itself, and you have all the right reasons for it! everything in nature has something to defend itself...why we should ban it? 

4)  everything here is to teach you a lesson. 

true, and false. not all things are here to teach you a GOOD lesson. so what all the syrians getting bombed right now? all the mothers losing their babies? losing their land? what kind of lesson is this to them? is it because of the bad karma they accumulated in their past lives that now they have this lessons to occur? so they also deserve it then? (i’ve been hearing this conversations for real) did somebody said bbbrrraaaainwaasshhhingg???  the world is what you perceive, so if you want to perceive that everything here is to teach you a lesson then GOOD, what about a lesson on humanity? what about that this is a lesson to OPEN YOUR EYES, telling you that people are hoplessly dying while you attend your 300$ yoga monthly course.

5)  if you are having childhood traumas or whatever, you did something very bad in your past life so you deserve it.

this doesnt need further words... what the fuck.... another way for the spiritualists to feel like they are good enough and superior people without even trying to help you...just better and more spiritual than you...even in past lives.

i could continue further and further and i will, as long as i have more time to write, but the point of all i must say that the truth is not about being happy or joyful, it’s the unfolding of the infinite illusions. and trust me it’s a hard neverending process. much of the self-proclaimed spiritual people in fact they are still long sleeping. i am still sleeping too, in many many ways.